April 22, 2018 – Madison Meets New People, Quite the Hat, Film Talk & More Than One Random Thought


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Fear the Walking Dead


Everyone is sleeping like things are normal; like it used to be. Luci makes coffee for Nick, and everybody gets dressed, and ready for the day. All kinds of activities are going on.

Madison asks a little girl about her family, but she doesn’t want to talk. She asks the girl about some of her favorite things instead. Madison says it takes getting used to, but this is home now. She’ll do what she can to make it happen, but needs help. The girl nods. Madison asks where the girl was coming from, and she points. Madison looks out to see zombies wandering around outside the baseball stadium they call home.

Over a loudspeaker, we hear it’s been 365 days. Victor says they’re celebrating, and pours maple syrup over everyone’s breakfast. Madison hammers away at something, and Alicia brings her some food. She tells Madison that they’re leaving in twenty minutes.

The girl talks to Nick about a story that sounds like Faust; a guy selling his soul to the devil. The turnip crop isn’t doing so great, and the girl, whose name is Charlie, asks about food running out. Nick says they’re almost growing enough not to need scavenging.

Madison tells the others where she thinks Charlie is from, but it’s outside the range. Madison says they have to look for her family anyway.

The group gets ready to leave. Nick asks Luci to find Charlie a new book. If she’s reading Faust, hopefully Luci understands to bring back something at a higher reading level than My Little Pony. Luci says Nick should come, but he has a turnip situation. He asks her to make sure Madison comes back this time. Luci tells Madison that Nick has to come out at some point. Madison says he needs to feel safe right now, but he will. Nick finds out it’s weevils causing the crops to fail, and radios the car. They get out of range before he can finish the conversation.

Madison parks, and tells them eyes open, stay close, keep talking. Victor and Luci go through a building that’s been picked clean; even the lightbulbs are gone. Alicia and Madison find a mess and a burned-out car. Madison says it’s lucky Charlie got out alive. Victor realizes the place isn’t just void of survivors, but also the dead. It’s a ghost town without ghosts. (I said that, not him.) Madison sees half-eaten food, and tells Victor that they’ll be there in a minute.

Luci says Madison won’t stop until she looks under every rock. Victor says she wouldn’t stop until she found him. He still hasn’t asked why she helped him after what he did. Luci suggests he does.

Charlie messes with the radio, and Nick tells her it’s okay, they haven’t been gone that long. Charlie knows it’s not a regular run. Nick says if her family is out there, they’ll find them. He asks if she’ll help with the turnips. What is it with turnips? They grow them on The Walking Dead too. Considering my gardening skills lean more toward enthusiasm than actual talent, maybe I should try growing them.

Madison and Alicia look around, but there’s nothing. A woman comes up behind Madison with a gun, and asks for her keys. Madison tells her that she doesn’t have to do this, but the woman keeps a bead on her. Madison signals Victor on the radio. He says, sh*t! and takes off. Madison tells the woman about the settlement. She says they have strong walls, plenty of food, and good people. She says they took in a little girl named Charlie, and asks if the woman knows her, but she says she doesn’t have a kid, and tells Madison to stop. She takes the keys from Madison’s pouch, but runs up against Alicia, with Victor and Luci now behind her. The woman dashes past them. Madison follows.

The woman runs up some steps leading to an oil tank. Alicia asks her to put the gun down, and puts her own down. Alicia tells her to trust them; they’ll give her the car. The woman backs up, and falls into the tank. Lots of falling through roofs going around. It’s dark, and full of oily water. Zombies pop up everywhere. Madison tells Victor to get the hatch open, and jumps down. Victor and Alicia struggle to get it open, but finally do, and oil, water, and zombies flow out. They kill the zombies, and Alicia gets Madison out.

Luci finds a copy of The Little Prince. Well, it’s no Dostoevsky, but better than My Little Pony. Victor wonders why they’re bothering, and Madison says, no one is gone until they’re gone. The woman introduces herself as Naomie. She says she’s sorry; she wasn’t going to hurt her. Madison asks if she has any idea who let the zombies into the tank, but she just got there. Madison asks where she’s from, and Naomie says it’s been a long time since she’s been from anywhere. We hear zombie noises, and Luci says they should leave – now.

Nick burns the turnip crop. A zombie sticks its dead fingers through the fence. Suddenly, music is playing, then fades. Nick wonders if it’s a signal, and he and the others wait to hear it again. There’s just silence, and Nick asks Charlie to open the gate. He gets in a car, takes a deep breath, and rolls out.

Nick remembers being behind a fence, and blowing up the reservoir. Zombies grapple at the car, and Nick runs into something, hitting his head on the dashboard. A sniper from the settlement shoots at the zombies, and radios him to get back. He gets out, and starts walking toward the gate. A zombie starts to come up on him from behind, and in perfect timing, Madison returns and creams it with her car. Luci asks what happened, and Nick says he was out for a stroll. She tells him get in.

Madison wants to talk to Charlie. Charlie says it’s okay; she knows Madison didn’t find them. Madison  tells Charlie that she has to ask another question; not an easy one. What happened at the camp? Who did that? Charlie says nothing, and Madison says they’ll talk later.

Nick gets his wounds dressed by Naomie, who was a nurse, at the ER, then the ICU. Madison doesn’t think it was a surprise to Charlie that they didn’t find her family. Nick leaves, and Naomie says Madison didn’t tell her it was a baseball stadium. Madison says Naomie didn’t believe she had a camp. Naomie asks how many, and Madison says forty-seven; forty-eight if she decides to stay. Naomie says she pulled a gun, but Madison says they’ve all done worse. She thought she’d lost her kids, but found them and found this place. They built it up together. They are who they are because of it. Naomie says they don’t know her. Madison says she doesn’t know them. They’re both taking a chance. She suggests Naomie take a shower, and Naomie is astounded they have one – with hot water.

Victor pushes the car Nick was driving, while another guy steers. Luci radios them to get inside now; ditch the car. They look behind them, where there’s a convoy of large vehicles driving in. They run in, and lock the gate. This doesn’t look good.

A dude rides around on a bicycle, music coming from the boombox on the handlebars. Another guy opens a boxcar, and takes out a ramp. Biking dude leads the zombies up the ramp, and goes out the other side, while the ramp guy locks the zombies in. He puts a flag up that says 12. (In last week’s episode, Al found a flag that said 51, and said she’d seen a lot of those.) A third guy gets out a lawn chair, sits in it, and cracks a beer. Everyone watches. Okay, they have me. I have no clue what’s going on, but obviously these numbers mean something.

Madison walks over to guy sitting down, and asks what he’s doing. He says, having a drink. She asks if there’s a problem, and he says, we’re good, and asks if she wants a drink. She says they have people inside with guns, and he says, that’s a helluva welcome. She tells him that she saw the camp, and the tanks. He asks if she thinks they did that, and she says she saw their flag. He tells her that they had to clean up the mess. The people never thought of what would happen if the bleeder valve got jammed. He warned them, but they didn’t listen. Madison asks what he wants. He wants them to listen. They have a mess of their own. He knows they had a bad batch of turnips, and says to tell Nick to check the other crops; weevils are a bitch to get rid of. Madison asks how he knows Nick’s name. He calls out for Chito, and Charlie walks over.

He tells Charlie, sorry he’s late, but he got her some new records. She smiles, and he tells her to get in the bus. He tells Madison that she’s a good kid. They found her a while back; she has a knack for finding good stuff, and they hit the jackpot here. Madison says they’re not taking anything. He tells her people often say that. They don’t take anything from anyone; not anyone alive anyway. He knows they’re good people, and how many guns they have. He says there’s a natural cycle to a place like this, and they’re due for something to go wrong. They can either give them their stuff and live, or join them. Become one of them, or they wait for them to die, trying to make things work. Either way, he ends up with what he wants. It’s not a threat; it’s the way it goes. He tells Madison that his name is Mel, and holds out his hand. She doesn’t reciprocate, and says they’re not going anywhere. Mel says he’s heard that too. She says they’ve been like them, moving from place to place, and they’re not going back to that life; they’ve found a better way. Mel says they just haven’t been tested yet, but they’re about to be. If she changes her mind, they’ll be waiting. I’m wondering where the women are in this merry band.

Nick toils in the fields. Mel and his friends play more music, country this time. The weevils still rule the turnips. Madison continues to hammer. The others put down their guns, and join her. Takeaway point: Country music makes people do carpentry.

Luci goes out to the bus. Charlie watches from the window as she leaves the book outside. Luci goes back, and joins in on the hammering. Nick remembers working on Jeremiah’s house.


Morgan and John are on their knees, with Madison and her group around them. Morgan says, we’re not who you think we are. Nick rifles through Morgan’s knapsack, and Morgan tells him to help himself. Luci says they must be with them, and holds up the numbered flag. Al asks, who? Victor says, the Vultures. Al has no idea what he’s talking about, and says, if you a-holes would put your guns down, we can help each other. Madison asks who put the flag up, and Al asks what is it to them? Alicia tells Al that she’s going to answer their questions. Al says they found it, and Alicia says show them where.

They get into Al’s truck, and move out.

Next time, Morgan and Nick tussle, Alicia fights zombies, and Morgan says it’s not going to work out how they think. And in case you didn’t know, Naomie is being played by Jenna Elfman.

😸 Ha-Ha!

On Talking Dead, when they say goodbye to those we’ve lost this week, they included Nick’s crop, calling them tur-nopes.

🍸 I barely glanced at The Real Housewives of Potomac, but I did see Robyn trying to have some serious words with Ashley about respect. Ashley was wearing a hat – a fascinator no less – the size of Potomac, and I wondered how Robyn could even keep a straight face, much less discuss anything important. This was during a garden party Gizelle had for a book she was writing (via ghostwriter) about pastor’s wives in the Black church, who are called First Ladies. It’s fiction, but loosely based on her own experiences. I’d definitely read that.

🏯 I was watching a mini-marathon of Abandoned episodes on Viceland this morning (I love that show!), and it led to my leaving the TV on when the original 1980 film of The Shining followed. I’ve never thought it was as good as the book, and thought Jack Nicholson seemed crazy from the jump. I would never let him babysit my hotel over the winter. And Shelley Duvall… well, she was Shelley Duvall. The remake (1997) had more of a sporting chance, since it was a mini-series and had more hours to tell the story. Sadly, although I finally got the topiary animals I wanted to see (Stanley Kubrick couldn’t get them to look right on film in the original, so they were scrapped for the maze), it was somewhat tepid, and lacked the intensity of the original Danny (Danny Lloyd) and Dick Halloran (Scatman Crothers). Which brings me to my point. It was pretty much background noise until Scatman was on the screen. While I love looking at the hotel – sometimes the setting can be one of the stars of the film for me – my favorite scene is when Dick connects telepathically with Danny in the pantry, then explains the shining to him. They just seem so real. That it still captivates me after all these years is a testament to their acting skills. SPOILER – if you’re the one person who hasn’t seen this film. That’s what made it even worse that they killed him off, totally changing the end of the story, where he saves the day. I heard there was supposed to be a third time, again for the big screen. Whether that’s the charm or not, remains to be seen.

🎷🚬 The second episode of Southern Charm New Orleans was on tonight. While Charleston is your upscale country cousin, NOLA is your sultry, mysterious maiden aunt, who never ages, but has a portrait upstairs.

🔌 I saw a commercial for Amazon Echo, and it was a father telling Alexa to announce “ready or not” to his kids during a game of hide-and-seek. How lazy can you get????  Unplug now. Save yourself.

🔮 Danny Learns About His Gift…

🌎 Happy Earth Day! 🌍


April 21, 2018 – Double the Dead with Catch-up & a Side of Random Thoughts


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


I couldn’t do this last week because the wind blew my internet away. But now, I’m all caught up, and if you weren’t, you will be too. Sorry for the different tenses between shows. It just came out that way.

The Walking Dead

Rick wondered how it happened that Carl got bit. Siddiq explained that his mom believed the dead’s souls were trapped. Carl wanted to honor her to gain Siddiq’s trust, and died paying respects to a woman he never knew. Siddiq had a brainfart, and forgot it was dangerous. Which didn’t exactly answer the question.

Ezekiel told Jerry to justify what they’ve lost, be prepared to lose everything. but they weren’t going to lose sh*t. Daryl still thought Dwight could be setting them up. Morgan got weird, thinking that something was happening, and nearly skewered Henry with his pokey stick. Maggie wouldn’t let the stray Saviors come along for the battle. Morgan insisted on coming, even though Rick was skeptical. Morgan said they were worse than they were, and it was wrong for Rick to have given his word, then double-cross the renegade Saviors. They lost everything good, and can’t go back. Morgan wanted to finish it.

Negan told Dwight that he had nothing, and told his guys to load Dwight up. Eugene personally checked and quality controlled all of the ammunition, and Negan tested it on an effigy of Rick. Eugene suggested a one-fell swooper. Negan decided Gabriel should tag along; he had things to confess.

Negan set up a roadblock, using his own people as bait. He told Gabriel that Rick thought he got the real story. Now he’ll find the map with the time and place, and believe it, because he’s going to kill everyone who could have told him otherwise. Sure enough, Rick kills them all, even the last guy begging for his life. Morgan saw Jared in a vision, and he told Morgan that he should try dying sometime. Ezekiel found the map on one of the dead Saviors, and Carol figured they could get to Negan before he knew what happened.

Gabriel was surprised that Negan wanted to kill everyone; he’d thought Negan didn’t want that to happen. Negan told him it wasn’t about want; it never was. Gabriel bounced out of the moving car, but Eugene helped hunt him down. Negan remembered Gabriel saying he didn’t want to die a fruitless death, and told him you can’t always get what you want, while I got a Rolling Stones earworm. He told Eugene to put Gabriel back in the car.

Jesus tried to explain the conundrum of safety to Morgan, and proposed the pokey end of his stick for the dead, and the blunt end for the living. When Rick and company came out into the open, they heard whistling. It looked like the Saviors had Rick’s people outnumbered by about 300%. Negan said he met Rick’s ambush with a bigger one, and to come out and face them. He wanted to make it fun, so he brought some old friends. He told them that Eugene made today possible; the same with Dwight. He told Dwight he was going to watch them die, and live with that. He was going to clean house, starting with Gabriel. He told Rick there never had to be a fight, if he’d just accepted how things are. Negan started to count down, and they looked like the Jun horde from The Beastmaster coming over the top of the mountain.

They joke was on them, because Eugene had quality controlled the bullets to shoot backward, and they shot themselves. Pretty good trick. Rick announced the charge, and there was lots of shooting, but Negan took off. The ex-Saviors Maggie didn’t want there came anyway. A bunch of Saviors who came out of nowhere, nearly nailed the group, but got blown up by the Oceansiders, who’d decided to join in too. The remaining Saviors kneeled in front of Maggie, and said, it’s over.

Rick went after Negan on his own, but ran out of bullets. They kicked each other’s asses for a while, by the tree where Carl is buried. During a break, Negan told Rick he was bullsh*tting with the eenie, meenie, minie, mo business in the beginning. He just didn’t want to kill a kid’s dad in front of him, but if he had, the kid might still be alive. Negan always makes good points. He told Rick he’s bigger, badder, and has a bat. Rick wanted to talk about the future. He told Negan that Carl said there didn’t have to be a fight. Despite looking somewhat weepy, Negan said Carl was wrong, and Rick slit his throat. Surprising the hell out of me, and probably everyone else, although somehow, it seemed anti-climactic and rude.

Everyone was like, whoa, and then, now what? Rick said Negan was still alive, and told Siddiq to save him. Maggie freaked out, saying they had to end it, and it wasn’t over until Negan was dead. Rick said they were all going home. Negan might be alive, but his way of doing things was over. Anyone who couldn’t live with it would pay the price. He said they were going to live in peace and fairness, and find common ground. The world was theirs, but others would come for them unless they stood together. The new world was going to begin, and there had to be something after. Rosita gave props to Eugene for the sabotage, but punched him in the face anyway for the puke.

Morgan gave Carol his pseudo armor for Henry, and walked off. Rick got teary, as Rick is wont to do these days, and said, mercy prevails over the land. He sat where Carl was buried, and cried.

The ex-Saviors decided to go back to the Sanctuary, hoping to get something out of it.  The guy whose name I can never remember told Maggie that he’d been reading the book, and could make some things. He has a passion for building things, and said she gave him his life.

Daryl took Dwight to the woods. Dwight started crying and saying he knew what he did, and knew he’d have to face it and pay. He was ready; it was enough to see Negan taken down. He cried, saying how sorry he was, and Daryl told him to shut up. He tossed Dwight some car keys, and said to keep going. If he saw Dwight again, he’d kill him. As Dwight walked away, Daryl told him to find her. I assumed he meant Sherry.

Gymboree Jadis was reading at the trash heap when Morgan showed up. He told her that Rick said she could come back if she wanted. He explained that Rick wanted to show people that things can change, and needed all the hands he could get. He told her that she didn’t want to be alone, and everything in life worth a damn, is people. She told him her name is Ann, which was kind of a let-down. He told her he needed to be alone, and go back without him, which made perfect sense considering what he’d just said.

Dwight went back home to the cabin in the woods (no, not that one), where he found a note. it just said honeymoon, with an infinity symbol below it.

In Maggie’s office, she told Jesus that he was right. She had no regrets, but he and Rick were right. Rick wasn’t right about Negan though. She said they had to make it thrive for the people who live there. They needed strength, and the ability to defend themselves better, but RIck was wrong; Michonne too. She said they were going to bide their time, wait for the right moment, and then show him. Daryl came out of the shadows, and said, yeah, they will. I don’t like this.

Negan woke up, his neck bandaged, handcuffed to a bed. Michonne said she needed to tell him some things. They planned on making him watch what happens. Rick said it wasn’t about who he killed, but what he did to so many, making them live for him and putting them under the boot. Negan struggled to say, he saves people, and Michonne put her hand on his throat. Rick suggested they could open his stitches for a while. Rick said Carl pitched something better; working together for something bigger than all of them. Michonne added, being an example. They weren’t going to kill or hurt him, but his fate was to rot in a cell for the rest of his life, evidence that they’re making and getting back a civilization like they had. He’ll get to see how wrong he was about what people and life can be. They’ll show people things changed by keeping him breathing. Michonne said after all this, he’s good for something.

Gabriel went to the burned out church and thanked God. He said he understood, and knew now. He’s been given so much, and now he can see.

Rick wrote to Carl. As he wrote, we saw them in the old days, walking down a road. He told Carl that he forgot who he was, and Carl made him remember. He remembered walking with him, and knew who he was for the first time. They were walking side by side, but Carl was bringing him somewhere. To the new world. He made it real. Rick sees it and remembers. Officer Rick and little Carl continued to walk down the road.

Moving right into…

Fear the Walking Dead

Out in the middle of nowhere, a man stands by a truck. He hears something, and asks if anyone is there. He longs to hear someone else’s voice, and suggests they come out and have something to eat. He talks about his life before, and says he can make popcorn. He also has books. He says, since no one is there, before he goes quiet again for another year, he has a story. He talked to a woman who showed up. He let her stay. They had feelings for each other, and one day, they allowed it. He hoped by saying it, he would see it. He did. It was nice, and there hasn’t been a lot of nice. We hear a zombie. The man shoots it, and we see Morgan just behind. The man introduces himself as John Dory, like the fish. He asks Morgan what’s his story?

Morgan is at the trash heap. Jesus knocks at the entrance. He thought they could continue their acquaintance. He insists Morgan cares about people, and tries to get him to come back.

Morgan is alone again. There’s another knock at the entrance, and this time it’s Carol. She asks him to come back. He helped her, so let her help him. She’s not going to tell him what to do, but he belongs with people who care about him.

Again, Morgan is alone. Rick shows up, and says he can hide, but he can’t run. He wouldn’t be alive if not for Morgan. Rick was hurt, and Morgan brought him in. Morgan wasn’t shot, but he’s been hurt. He asks Morgan to come back, and not to waste another second. He’s alive and part of the world. A lot of people are there because he helped them. Morgan says that’s not him anymore. Rick disagrees, saying he’ll end up with people one way or another. He’s part of the world already, so just come back. Rick leaves.

Morgan packs up his stuff, and gets his stick. He takes a long last look at the trash, and moves on down the road. He thinks about Rick’s words, and starts to run. He hotwires a car, and the gas tank is miraculously full. He walks some more. He sees a group of people, and avoids them. He finds another car, and drives again. He goes into a town and sees a cluster of zombies.

He opens a car to find someone who’s sick and shaky. He starts to leave some supplies, but the guy doesn’t want them. Morgan says, sorry. He thought the guy was on his own. The guy says, we all are. Morgan moves along, and it starts to rain.

Morgan comes up behind a zombie in the woods. A shot rings out, the zombie falls, and we’re back to the beginning. John tells Morgan he’d like company, but Morgan is hesitant. John asks if he’s seen a woman with a pistol like his; he’s looking for her. Morgan says he hasn’t, and starts to leave, but John suggests he stay the night; he can take the back of the truck. Morgan sees the wisdom in a good night’s rest. He slips out later while John is snoring.

Morgan finds a tent with a lantern lighting the inside. He sets down his stick and gets whacked in the head. I jump a mile.

Dude tells Morgan, whatever he’s thinking, don’t. Morgan says keep the food, and he’ll go. Dude doesn’t want him telling no one. Morgan says he has no one to tell, and doesn’t want to know anyone. John is suddenly there, and shoots dude in the arm. He says he’s looking out for his friend, and dude says he has friends too. They’re surrounded, and John says now he got himself captured. He’s reminiscent of Eugene in how he speaks.

A big ass truck drives into the tent city, or whatever it is. The woman behind the wheel asks what’s going on, and remarks they have new people. She likes new people. She has a cake and some Cup O’Noodles, the good kind, and she’ll throw in some Pall Malls. Apparently, dude likes Pall Malls. She opens the hatch of the truck to reveal a couple of machine guns. She tells dude, there’s always a choice, and this is an easy one. Morgan and John get in the truck.

The woman’s name is Althea; Al for short. John asks if she’s an officer of the law, and she says, not exactly. She tells them that they owe her. She didn’t save them out of the goodness of her heart. John draws his gun, but she says she just wants to ask them questions. What they’ve seen, who they’ve met, where they’ve been, and where they’re going. She tells them that she’s a journalist, pulls over, and picks up a video camera.

Al interviews John, who talks about Laura. Al asks how they got split up. He says it’s not a happy story, and gets vague. Morgan asks why it matters; there are no news stations anymore. She says he owes her. He tries to give her some food instead, but she only wants his story. He just wants to go. John gives him some clean socks for the road.

Dude comes back with his friends to hassle Al. They want the truck. Dude asks for Morgan’s stick. Morgan slams him with it, and he and john get the better of dude and several of his guys. John gets his gun back. Morgan jumps onto a truck, and John inadvertently lets a bunch of zombies loose. Dude tries to steal Al’s truck, but doesn’t have the keys. Al flings them away, and dude tries to run for them, but a zombie goes after him. Morgan gets shot in the leg by a sniper, who’s been a bad shot up until now. Morgan knocks him around on the roof. The sniper falls off, but hangs onto the ledge, dangling above a gaggle of zombies. Morgan holds out his hand, and pulls him back up. As thanks, the sniper punches Morgan. This is a good example of no good deed going unpunished. They both tumble through the roof. No surprise, Morgan does not help a second time, and gets the hell out. He throws a grenade or something, ducks, and the room blows up. He goes back outside.

John and Morgan shoot and pike zombies. Dude harasses Al for the keys until John finally shoots him, and leaves him for zombie food. Al gets in her truck, opens up the guns, and kills the rest of the zombies. And they all lived happily ever after. Not quite, but they lived.

Al says Morgan still owes her. He tells her to pull over. She films as he talks about Alexandria and the Kingdom. He says there was a big fight, but he left before he left. She asks why he left, but he thinks she should talk. He asks why it’s important, but she doesn’t want to return the favor. She says one real thing, and they’re even. Why did he leave? He tells her that he loses people, then he loses himself. He starts walking down the road again.

Morgan sees the station wagon the sick guy was in, and sees someone walking in the distance. He follows them, but some zombies, feeding by the side of the road, decide to follow Morgan. Since his leg was injured in the fight, he can’t go too fast, and he falls. They’re on him, but John appears once again, and pikes them in the heads.

Morgan needs to know who it is walking up the road. I guess he’s hoping the guy made it, but that’s a no, and he ends up spearing now-zombie guy in the head with his stick. He says he’ll travel with them until his leg heals, and no asking questions. Al says she’s not going to stop, and he says, no answers then. John says she’s taking him to look for Laura in exchange for more story.

Al sees someone in the middle of the road. Both Morgan and John inform her that they don’t kill. She tells them it’s a great moment to share that information. It’s a girl, hunched over. Al asks if she’s injured, and tells Morgan to get the first aid kit. The girl says there are bad people there, then grabs Al in a headlock. It’s Alicia. Victor, Madison, ♫ and the rest ♫, come out from the forest. Al asks what Alicia’s story is.

And there we have it. Until tomorrow night.

🔎 An Observation…

Andrew Lincoln always looks like a businessman on an interview when he’s a guest on Talking Dead.

🎬 Another Thing I Watched…

Mourning Son is a 2015 documentary about the murder of Dave Navarro’s mother, and how it’s affected him throughout his life. It’s also a glimpse into what an incredible artist he is. I had no idea about his background, but always thought he was a very honest and kind man. When Bill Maher was hosting Politically Incorrect – before he fully turned into a mean curmudgeon, and was just working on it – I saw Dave put him in his place when he was talking out of his ass. I’ve admired him ever since. Even more so after seeing this excellent film.

🎆 Right now, I’m (finally) watching Girl’s Trip, and between this and Star, can confirm that Queen Latifah wears more fabulous wigs than the entire cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta put together.

🛀 Enjoy the Remaining Weekend Like…


April 20, 2018 – No Match for The Jackal, a Golden Apron, a Quote Times Five & Tomorrow


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny there’s nothing physically wrong with her. He says that’s good news, but she says, now he thinks she’s losing her mind. He tells her, he didn’t say that. She says it’s obvious. He doesn’t want to talk about it right now. She tells him that he doesn’t know what’s going on, and then when he does, he dismisses it, thinking she’s making it up. He asks, what other explanation is there?

Griff tells Ava that Julian is conducting a search in the Charles Street area. Ava can’t believe it’s come to this. Her last, best hope is the city’s good will toward her brother, who used to be Public Enemy #1. Griff says the PCPD is looking too, and Ava wonders where Jordan is.

Dante starts to leave the station. Chase says, like or not, they’re partners, and he’s coming too. Dante tells him to keep up and keep quiet.

Avery, who looks like she’s aged a year from last week, tells Mike to wake up. It looks like they’re in a stable.

Peter sees Lulu go into Charlie’s. He sends a text, and follows. He tells her it seems he can’t shake her. She says she was there first, so who can’t shake who? He says, fair enough, and asks if she wants to join him for lunch. She can’t. She’s getting food for Dante’s family; everyone was up all night. Lulu’s phone dings, and she says this could be it. The man claiming to be Henrik just got back to her.

Robert tells Anna that Emma is in the game room with some other kids. Anna says, good. She’d rather Emma not be there when they question people about Faison’s son. He asks what Anna isn’t telling him about this case.

A Swiss banker tells Sam that he’s pleased to meet her in person. She says she can only give him forty-five minutes, and walks in with Jason. Sam says she was advised to transfer some of her assets to Switzerland, even though she’s happy with her Grand Keys bank. He suggests Jason go elsewhere, but she tells him that her mother doesn’t allow her to travel without protection. Just pretend he’s not there.

Ava tells Griff that she doesn’t need more caffeine, so her empty coffee cup has chamomile tea in it. She says the waiting is torture, and thinks about joining the search. Griff says they’ll probably want her there when they find Avery – and they will. She knows he wants her to keep the faith, but sometimes prayer and faith aren’t enough, and it’s too little too late.

Mike wakes up, and asks what going on. Avery asks about the horses. He remembers they were waiting for them to come back. She says she’s hungry, and he says, him too. He bets everyone is wondering where they are. He suggests they find everyone, and tell them where they were hiding.

Anna tells Robert that Henrik might have been an accomplice or a victim, probably both. She knows the kind of havoc Faison can wreak on someone’s mind. He’s probably not fully culpable, and she has medical information he needs. Robert says she’s only talking about Henrik and Faison. She asks who else, and he says, her. He asks her to talk to him, but there’s a knock at the door. It’s a Mrs. Everett Ashton. Anna thanks her for coming. They have questions about a former student. She says she’s sorry, but she can’t answer any of their questions.

Sam tells the banker she wants to diversify her assets between several countries with different banking laws. She gives him a flash drive, saying all of her information was put on it. He needs a security code, but she says she can’t say it out loud. While she’s typing it in, she makes sure he’s distracted by her behind. Or posterior, as Anna might say.

Sonny asks Carly how he couldn’t be worried, when she left her responsibility for Avery to reminisce at a grave? She’s called him out when he’s been off his meds. She tells him that she isn’t on meds, and Dante traced the calls, but he says it could have been someone calling a wrong number. There’s no proof of anything. She says she knows what she saw. She saw the scarf, smelled his cologne, and saw the writing on the flyer. She needs him to believe that she’s not imagining it. He doesn’t think she is; he believes that she believes it happened. She says, but he doesn’t believe it happened. He wants her to make an appointment with Doc after this is over and Avery is home.

Dante and Chase go to the stables, and find Mike and Avery. Dante asks if Avery is okay, and Mike says they must have lost track of time. Dante introduces Avery to Chase, and tells him to take her to the station. Chase makes a big deal about her riding in the police car. Mike wonders what’s going on, and Dante asks if he remembers meeting Chase. Mike says Chase threw him in jail, but Dante says they met another time, and they’re buddies now. Mike wouldn’t go that far. Dante is staying behind to talk to Mike. Dante tells Mike that he gave them a scare; they didn’t know where he was. Mike wishes everyone would keep their noses out of his business. He says where he takes his daughter is for him to decide, and Courtney wanted to see the horses. Dante says she’s not Courtney; she’s his granddaughter Avery. Courtney died a long time ago. Mike insists she was there. Is this man going to make me cry every time he’s in a scene?

Lulu tells Peter that she decided to follow up on the first email. She thinks it’s the real Henrik because it’s the same email address PK Sinclair uses for his correspondence with the publisher. She can trace it and find him.

Anna asks if Mrs. Ashton will hear them out. She says she thought they wanted advice regarding a prospective student, but she sees what’s going on, and it’s not the first time. Robert asks why she thinks they’re there, and she says many past students have become prominent figures, but she makes it a point never to engage with journalists. Anna says they’re not journalists, but Mrs. Ashton says the rule still applies. Anna shows Mrs. Ashton her ID, explaining they’re with the WSB, and a former student is a person of interest.

The banker tells Sam that he her investments are somewhat limited in scope, and they could accommodate her. She says her number one concern is security, and he says theirs is state of the art. Spinelli walks in, and the banker says it’s a closed meeting. Spinelli says they haven’t been properly introduced. He’s The Jackal, and dude and his bank are at his mercy.

Carly can’t believe Sonny wants her to see a shrink. Someone is messing with her, making her doubt herself and making everyone else doubt her. Sonny thinks they should be on the safe side after everything she’s been through. She says he thinks she’s losing her grip on reality. He says it’s not the first time. She had a breakdown before. When they thought Michael was dead, she had a delayed reaction. She realized she needed help, got it, and got better. He doesn’t want her to have to go away again. He needs her there in the present when Mike gets home. Her phone rings, and Carly says, thank God. She tells Sonny they’ve found Avery, and she’s okay.

Griff knows hope and faith aren’t in Ava’s tool chest. She says that’s putting it mildly. He starts to talk about when you lose hope, but Ava hears Chase coming back. She runs out of the room, and picks up Avery. Avery tells her that grandpa took her to see the horses.

Dante asks if Mike remembers the nice chat they had when he was arrested. He told Dante stories about the old neighborhood and they talked about the Yankees. They agree that the only reason there are other teams, is so the Yankees can beat them. Mike told Dante one of his first jobs had been cleaning stables at a racetrack. Mike says he admired the horses. They weren’t the Rockefellers, so cleaning up was the only way to get close to them. Courtney loves horses too, but they can’t afford lessons, so he should take her someday. Dante says that sounds like a great idea, but he looks tired and pained. Mike asks to go home.

Anna tells Mrs. Ashton that they think he attended school, and was a member of the Julius Caesar cast. Robert asks to talk to his colleague for a moment. He asks what Anna thinks she’s doing now? Anna says now Mrs. Ashton will answer their questions, but he’s concerned she’ll blab. Anna says after all these years, he should trust that she knows what she’s doing. He says he does, so he knows she’s off her game. This case starting to get under her skin.

Sam asks the banker, what was he saying about the security? He wonders how Spinelli got past the facial recognition, and Spinelli says state of the art is no match for him. He tells the banker the silent alarm has been deactivated, but will look like it’s still on. The banker says they’ve never been robbed, and Sam says, until today.

Spinelli sits at the computer and taps away, saying no matter how money is hidden, it still leaves a trail. He sees that the banker has done a lot of embezzling. He’s sure the people he’s stolen from will be happy their money has been found in his personal accounts. The banker says he can’t. Spinelli says he can and will, unless the banker cooperates.

Anna tells Robert that she’s a seasoned operative. She’s had years of experience, and knows what she’s doing. Mrs. Ashton asks if they’re playing good cop/bad cop. They’re both so polite, she can’t tell. Robert says he’s the good one. Anna says they were trying to find a loophole, so they could share more information with her, but they can’t. They can tell her that they don’t mean any harm, and aren’t out to ruin anyone’s name, but they need to question the former student on an urgent matter. She believes he was using another name at the school, and asks if Mrs. Ashton remembers Henri Françoise. Mrs. Ashton says she wishes they’d said so at the beginning. She’s certain he’s done nothing wrong. Anna shows her the photo, and asks which one he is.

Peter asks Lulu if she can really trace the email. She tells him when Spinelli tried, he hit a dead end, so it’s probably untraceable. He asks what her next move is, and she says he wants to meet up with her to share his side of the story. She’s going to take him up on it.

Sonny and Carly arrive at the station. Griff says checked he checked Avery out, and she’s fine; just a little dehydrated. Sonny asks where his dad is, and Chase says Dante stayed behind with him. Ava says they were apparently there all night, and they need to have a discussion about his father. Carly takes Avery to get some water. Ava tells Sonny that she was willing to look the other way when Mike vandalized the gallery. Sonny says she blackmailed him into letting Avery spend the night. She says they need to make sure Mike doesn’t do something like this again. Sonny asks what she’s suggesting. Mike walks in.

Spinelli says The Jackal has the banker’s information – the money he embezzled, how he spent it, and where he hid it. He sees that he also did some trophy hunting and killed two endangered species. Sam says that’s disgusting, and Spinelli makes an anonymous contribution to the World Wildlife Fund out of the banker’s account. He wonders what other charities could benefit. Jason reminds him that they still need to find Henrik.

Mrs. Ashton points out Henri. She says he was a handsome young man, always shy about being photographed. Anna wonders why a shy boy would take on such significant role, and Mrs. Ashton says the theater was safe for him, and where he was most comfortable to emerge from his shell. She thinks he relished becoming someone else, with a new name and identity other than his own.

Peter asks if Lulu is having second thoughts. She wants to meet with Henrik, but after what happened last time, doesn’t know if she should go by herself. He’s not wanted for a crime, but he is a person of interest. She thinks she should bring in the PCPD sooner rather than later. Peter asks what’s wrong with that, and she says she hasn’t told her husband what she’s up to yet.

Mike wants to go home. Chase says they’re good on their end. Avery says something about the horses, and Mike says he and Courtney waited all night. Ava asks who’s Courtney, and Carly explains she was Mike’s daughter and Spencer’s mother. Ava realizes Mike thinks Avery is his daughter. Dante gently explains again that it’s Avery, and Mike says, oh, right. He wants to lie down, and Sonny tells Avery let’s go home. Ava says, absolutely not.

Spinelli sees that the payment for the book has already been deposited, and sent by a wire transfer to Iceland. He says Henrik is very thorough in covering his tracks. He says Henrik’s picture is there, and everyone gathers around the computer. Sam looks puzzled.

Mrs. Ashton says, If she had to guess, Henri enjoyed being other people because his home life was troubled. He dreaded going home, and begged them to let him stay. His father had no use for him, and she could never rid herself of the impression that he would have been happier with a loving mother. She says he was a special boy. They thank her for her time. Anna asks if she might have any class photos, but Mrs. Ashton says she never held on to those. Anna asks if there’s anything physical she remembers that set him apart; something that would have distinguished him. Mrs. Ashton says he had the most emotive brown eyes, which was what made him so effective on stage.

Peter is surprised by Lulu, and not in a good way. She never struck him as someone who needed to ask permission. She says she doesn’t need permission, but wants to make him aware and persuade him. She’s not sure now is the right time with Avery missing, but she’s concerned Henrik could go underground. Who knows when she’d get another shot? Her food comes, and she thanks Peter. He tells her to be careful. Henrik could be more dangerous than she’s giving him credit for.

Anna tells Robert the meeting was productive. Now they know he has brown eyes; that narrows it down. Robert says, that’s if he’s the same person. She’s sure he is. He says it’s time to tell him the truth. What is the case really about? She tells him if he wants to help, help; if not, don’t. He asks what the child really means to her.

Ava says Avery is not going home with the man who kidnapped her. Chase says he’ll question him, but Sonny says his father didn’t kidnap Avery. Ava says she was gone overnight; what else would you call it? Griff understands, and shares her concern, but Mike didn’t mean any harm. She knows Mike isn’t well. Ava says that’s her point. Avery isn’t spending one more night under the same roof. Avery is coming home with her.

She and Sonny have a stare down.

On Monday, Robert realizes Henrik is Anna’s son, Michael tells Nelle he’s optimistic, and Spinelli tells Sam if she touches something they’re dead.

🍳 I watched the second hour of MasterChef Junior, and unfortunately missed the eggs Benedict challenge. Eggs Benedict is one of my favorite things in the world, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have learned anything, unless there’s a new way to order them at a restaurant. I came in at the tail end of the next challenge, where eight-year-old Avery’s superb cake won her immunity. While she went to the balcony, chocolate chips literally rained down on the rest of the junior contestants, since the next challenge was chocolate oriented. A golden apron was the prize, as well as a definite spot in the finals. Avery was given the option to forego her immunity and join in, but she thought better safe than sorry. Mikey got the gold, while Anthony and Cade were out for bad cream puffs and overpowering cocoa, respectively. Anthony told us that he was going to keep his head up and keep on cookin’. Well said. Next time, the young chefs will be cooking for now older alumni.

👄 Quotes of the Week

Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you. – Welcome to Night ValeJoseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

Looking at you is like looking at the Grand Canyon of ineptitude. – Dave Harken (Kevin Spacey), Horrible Bosses 2

I already have more filler than a two-hour Dateline. – Angie, minor character on 2 Broke Girls (S:5, E:21)

Anger finally only ages a person.Elsa Lanchester

The worst is not. So long as we can say “This is the worst.”. – Edgar, King Lear, William Shakespeare (One of my favorite quotes!)

💀 Tomorrow, a special mini-cap of last week’s The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead. Just in case you’ve been under a rock, lost your internet like me, or just want to brush up before Sunday night. I watched them tonight, but still have to edit. Unfortunately, that pesky thing called sleep is getting in my way.



April 19, 2018 – Ava Pleads for Avery, Patricia Throws Cameran a Shower, Another Charm, Good-by Summer & Almost


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

In the interrogation room, Ava makes an impassioned plea on camera for Avery’s return. She wonders if she deserved Avery. She says grace is not earned, but a gift, and Avery is a source of grace. If anyone has seen it in the eyes of a child, she begs them to help. She breaks down crying. Sonny sits next to her, and begs in his own way, describing Avery, and saying she’s with her grandfather. He shows them a picture of Mike, and says his father’s memory is fading, and his little girl’s life is just starting. Please help find them.

Drew says every platform Aurora can reach will broadcast it. Ava thanks him, and he says they’ll find them. Sonny tells Ava whatever they feel about each other goes out the window until Avery is found. She wonders if he’s telling her or himself.

Julian tells Kim that Ava must be desperate to cooperate with Sonny. He punched a wall earlier, and Kim says, he must be hurting. He says he needs to be with Ava, but Kim wants to tape his hand first.

Oscar helps Josslyn into the hospital. She insists she just rolled her ankle, and her coach is overreacting. He tells her that she’s super competitive. She says her baby sister being missing is horrible. She hates that they’re treating Mike like a felon, but he could take her somewhere dangerous, and she hates that more. The only time she’s not thinking about everything is when she’s playing. Oscar wishes he could help her, and she says he is.

Franco can’t imagine what Avery’s parents are going through. Elizabeth asks what about him? He says whatever he’s feeling doesn’t compare, but Elizabeth says that doesn’t mean it’s any less valid. He’s glad to be under the same roof with her and her boys, and for a minute, the world was perfect. But the world isn’t perfect, and bad happens all the time. The reality is, that it never stops.

A nurse brings Carly’s follow-up test results to Griff. He looks worried, like always.

Carly tells Sonny the FBI says it doesn’t appear mob related, and Sonny says he already told them that. Griff calls, and tells Carly that he has the test results. He’d like to go over them together. She tells Sonny that she can go over by herself. He says he’ll go home, touch base with Max, and do what he can. She says, don’t worry, but he says that’s not going to happen. Drew offers to take Carly to the hospital, since he’s going there anyway. Ava says she’s not going anywhere until her little girl is back.

Kim suggests Julian take it out on a bag at the gym; she hears Drew is a great coach. Julian thinks he could teach Drew a thing or two he learned on the streets. He suggests she still has feelings for Drew, and he’s single now, but she says she’s right where she wants to be. He thinks he needs more convincing, and she kisses him, but unfortunately has to go to work.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he’s happy about everything, but it’s time to move on and go back to work. She tells him there’s no rush, but he says he’s ready. Instead of going to the art therapy studio, he looks in Betsy’s room.

Elizabeth sees Drew, and tells him she saw the broadcast. He says what good is owning a media company if he can’t help when it’s needed?

Carly tells Griff to give it to her straight. He tells her to sit down, and she says it doesn’t sound good. He’s sorry for the nightmare she’s dealing with, and she says that’s why she wants to get the results out of the way. Griff tells her there’s nothing physically wrong, and she’s pretty sure she told him that. He’d like her to schedule an appointment with Doc. He wants to rule out every possibility as a cause for the incidents she’s described. She insists they’re real, and he just confirmed that there’s nothing physically wrong. She says there’s nothing left to discuss, and thanks him.

Chase and Dante arrive at Sonny’s. Sonny asks if there are any leads, but Dante says nothing yet. Chase asks Sonny to have Carly call him to follow up on the cemetery and parking garage. Sonny doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Ava looks at pictures of Avery. She swears to find her, and not let anyone take her away again. Julian arrives, and asks how she’s holding up. She says she’s a wreck. He tells her that she did good on TV. He gives her an empty coffee cup (sigh – not only that, they never act like it’s hot either), and she hugs him.

Elizabeth asks Drew if he’s friends with Carly again, and he says they’ve put their differences aside. Elizabeth says they could all use some coming together after surviving the earthquake. He asks about Jake, and she says it helps having Franco back home. He asks how Franco is doing, and she says, okay. He’s back in the art therapy room.

Franco goes into Betsy’s room. He tells her not to talk; every word is a lie. He can’t understand, and doesn’t want to. How could she choose her boyfriend over her sons? She turned blind eye, and allowed it to happen over and over; she didn’t care about them. Betsy says she sent Drew away to keep him safe, and Franco says, to keep her secret safe. She sent him to an orphanage, and made it easy for Jim. When Jim was done, he moved on. Franco has a list of names; people she could have helped if she’d spoken up. He thought it was his fault. Her lies made him doubt and hate himself. Is she happy about that? Is she proud of her little boy now?

Betsy says she doesn’t blame him for hating her, but it can’t be more than hates herself. Franco says she’s just as much a victim as the rest of them. Jim would have killed him if she hadn’t told Drew the truth. He tells her that Jim can’t hurt them anymore; they’re safe. Everything he did died with him. Franco is only fantasizing, and stands in front of Betsy’s bed, watching her sleep. He kneels by her bedside, and hesitantly touches her hair.

Drew is happy that Franco is conquering his demons. Elizabeth says it shouldn’t have happened. She doesn’t get how Betsy let Jim in and didn’t protect her boys from the onset. Drew says Jim was a manipulator, and she was fragile. She didn’t know what was going on. Elizabeth thinks she must have sensed it, and the child comes first. How could she be so complacent? Drew says Elizabeth is a  good mom, but that’s not always the case. She says she might be a good mom, but she’s being a bad employee, and goes back to work.

Drew sees Kim, who says she’s been worried. Oscar was upset about the shooting, but doing fine. Oscar is proud of him for saving Franco, and thinks he’s a hero. Drew says that’s not the case, but Kim says try telling that to his son.

Josslyn wonders what’s taking so long. Oscar says he could text his mom, but Josslyn says she could text her grandmother – the chief of staff. Oscar admits her connection is better than his. He guesses it helps to be related to half the town. She says, he is too, but he tells her that they’re just getting to know him. Her relatives would crawl over glass for her. She asks if he’s calling her spoiled, and he says, privileged. Spoiled kids are entitled, and think they deserve better; that they deserve everything. She’s not like that. She says she loves being first, but he says she works for it. She’s lucky, smart, strong, beautiful, and rich, but she doesn’t think she’s superior. She goes out of her way to help people, and stand up for outsiders. He compares her to Wonder Woman. She has all these special gifts, but uses them for good. She wishes she was Wonder Woman. She would use her superpowers to find Avery and Mike.

Julian tells Ava that he’s sure Avery is safe with Mike. She’s concerned that a rival family might have taken advantage. The Feds said that wasn’t the case, but what if they were snatched in a vendetta against Sonny? It’s clear Sonny is genuinely concerned; she’s not questioning that, but wonders if he’s feeling guilty because he believes his business practices were involved. Julian thinks she should ask herself the same question. What if Avery was taken because of her past – or his? Just because they left that world, doesn’t mean their enemies forgot. She’s tried to put it behind her, but what if the past is catching up, and she’s paying the price? Ava starts to leave, but runs into Griff at the door. She says she’s worked so hard to overcome the past, but what if it’s catching up? What if Avery was taken by one of her enemies?

When Carly gets back home, Sonny says Chase was telling him an interesting story that starts in a parking lot and ends in a cemetery. Dante says it sounds like a horror movie, but he’s not familiar with it. He leaves, and Sonny says since Carly didn’t want to tell him, he had to find out from a cop that the reason she didn’t meet up with Avery and Mike is that she was searching for ghost. She tells him to stop acting like she abandoned them. She called Pilar. Sonny says if she’d been there, they wouldn’t be missing. She says what if someone was reaching about Morgan? Chase must have forgotten to tell him the part about the note. He says Chase told him that nothing was written on the flyer. She says she saw it, and smelled Morgan’s cologne at the grave. Sonny wants to believe her with all his heart. He asks her what Griff said.

Griff tells Ava it’s not her fault, but she says, what if it is? Julian says he might have planted that idea when he threw out the possibility. Ava says she did consider it; she just didn’t say it. Julian says as usual, he did more harm than good. He starts to leave, but Griff says his sister needs him. Griff got another doctor to cover his shift; his place is with Ava. She says she can’t sit doing nothing, and he suggests they pray.

Josslyn asks Oscar if he’s sure he wants a family; he’s had a firsthand look at the downside. He says when there’s more to love, there’s more to lose, but it’s worth it in the end. It was just him and his mom for a long time. Now his dad is in the picture, and who knows, maybe more than that. She asks what he means, and Oscar says his mom finally admitted she still has feelings for him.

Drew tells Kim that sons look up to their fathers, but it’s probably best if Oscar looks at him like a regular guy. Kim says Drew can break the news to him. Oscar misses him. He suggests the go out for a burger, but she says he should come over this week, and she’ll make her famous chili. Back in the day, she told him it was homemade, but she really just opened a can. He calls her a chili imposter, and she says her culinary skills have improved; she can make it from scratch now. He tells her that he did take something away from the experience. Not everyone gets the best of parents. He was just talking to Elizabeth about what makes a great mom. He says Kim is a great mom, and raised a great kid. He thanks her for that.

Elizabeth finds Franco sitting on the floor in an office. He says he didn’t make it to art therapy. He saw Betsy instead. His intention was to dump all of his pent-up rage on her, and blame her for every terrible thing. But he looked at her, all helpless, and couldn’t do it. He didn’t have the heart. Elizabeth says she never understood that expression. It doesn’t apply. He has a complicated, contradictory, compassionate heart. He has every reason to unload on his mom. That he didn’t, proves who he is inside. He’s kind, forgiving, and strong. He needs to heal, and she’s there to help as much as he’ll let her. He says if he makes it at all, it will be because of her. She sits on the floor, in his arms.

Franco says he has the list. Elizabeth asks if he knows what he’s doing with it. He says he’d like to make contact, if he can find the courage. Elizabeth thinks he’ll find a way, and not only help them, but help himself.

Kim tells Drew not to thank her for loving Oscar. He’s the joy of her life, and she’s grateful for him. Drew says he’s a lucky kid, which makes him a lucky dad. She thinks they should try to spend more time together. Maybe all three of them. They are a family. Drew says it’s a deal.

Ava thinks prayers would be more effective from Griff alone, but he says anyone can pray. Julian says, why not? It can’t hurt. Griff takes their hands, and they form a prayer circle.

At the station, Chase asks Dante what’s unclear about it being a hot line, not a support line? He hopes Dante has more luck. Dante suddenly says he thinks he knows where Mike took Avery.

Carly tells Sonny the test results were negative. There’s nothing physically wrong with her. He says that’s good news, but she says, not really. Since he thinks she’s losing her mind.

Tomorrow, Dante doesn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, Lulu says Henrik replied to her, and Robert wants to know what Anna isn’t telling him.

Southern Charm

Thomas says at long last he has a real woman with a real woman’s heart. Then asks Ashley to make breakfast.

Cameran calls Patricia. She’s feeling large and not in charge. Patricia vaguely remembers, and wasn’t enthusiastic about repeating the process. She wants to do a co-ed baby shower-slash-party. Cameran says she’ll get a list, but Patricia says it should be her call, since she’s giving the party. Clearly, for all her talk about etiquette, Patricia doesn’t know how a shower works. In her interview, Cameran is afraid she’s going to leave Kathryn off the guest list. Patricia tells her to just show up.

Kathryn has the kids. She says they spend a lot of time bonding. Saint was taken from her at six months and it hurt, but it took going to rehab for her to get her priorities straight. The kids mess with Play-Doh, my nemesis. Probably yours too, if you’ve ever tried to get it out of the treads of your shoe. Kathryn says it’s hard. Even though she’s moving toward joint custody, it’s heartbreak every other weekend. It’s been a long journey, but things are settling into place and moving in the right direction. She says it feels like chapter three.

Thomas makes eggs. In his interview, he jokes about mixing in Plan-B just in case, once more confirming what a creeper he is. He asks if Ashley has ever had a pregnancy scare. She says she’s had what if thoughts. She has a fertility app on her phone, and can see when the window is. It’s the birth control she’s using. Oh Lord, no comment. She says, if it happens, it would be a blessing, but she doesn’t want to be a single parent. She tells him that a baby makes a good relationship great, and a bad relationship worse. Thomas says he could have written that. That’s if he could write. In his interview, he says Ashley would be a wonderful mother, but he wants to know more about her. He cares too much about himself (key word) and his kids to make a wrong decision. They get busy, because no wrong decision can be made using basically no birth control at all. He says, fade to black, which I would find funny if he didn’t make me so ill. However, he is not as bad as Jax. No one is as bad as Jax.

Kathy, the childbirth educator, visits Cameran. Cameran hasn’t been to any classes or read What to Expect. Whitney is pinch-hitting for her husband. Kathy tells her to visualize the perfect experience, and Cameran says she’d pick her baby off a tree. She’s concerned about her vagina being all messed up, and still ending up needing a C-section. Up until now, she’s had control of all aspects of her life, and she’s been in denial. Obviously, if her first childbirth class is five minutes before delivery. Whitney asks if she’ll get an epindurmal [sic], and says he’d need an Elvis dose. Kathy wants Cameran to learn squatting for a certain amount of time. In her interview, Cameran says when she finds herself overwhelmed, she tells herself that cavewomen did this with nothing. If they can do it, she can. They go though some other conditioning exercises. Like the catching-the-baby-like-a-football move.

Kathy leaves, and they talk about the shower. Whitney says the theme is super chic, waspy leisurewear from the 60s. Cameran tells him to tell Patricia that she wants to include everyone. Whitney doubts she’ll want Kathryn in the house, but everyone else is welcome.

Austen meets Craig at an outside bar. Austen is friends with all the bartenders because of the business he’s in; it’s like being low-key famous. Austen asks if Craig is cool with checking out babes and not feeling guilty. He’s single, and it might take a minute to regroup. Craig thinks life would be easier if he was gay, and Austen asks if Craig needs to tell him something. Shep joins them. He asks if they’ve recovered for the party, and says he didn’t remember the end. He was browned out. They get some magnificent looking nachos.

Craig says at the end of the party, he got the nice Naomie, not the mean one. Austen says they clearly still care about each other, but if they talk every day, they’ll never get over it. In his interview, Craig says Naomie going back and forth is a mind-f*ck. Shep says he’s rooting for Craig.

Chelsea joins Cameran for her ultrasound. In her interview, Chelsea says she’s known Cameran through every stage of her life, and it’s been fun. Cameran says it’s freaky to see your stomach move when it’s not gas. I think it would be freaky to see my stomach move even if it was gas. Since she’s about ready to pop, you can see the entire baby in detail. Cameran says she hasn’t cried yet, and Chelsea starts to cry. In her interview, Cameran says she thinks it hasn’t hit her yet. She’s not going to believe it until she sees it. She tells Baby Palmer that she loves her, and will see her soon.

Chelsea thinks she and Austen are in a good place. She backed up when he started dating, but it’s better now. Cameran thinks he’s still attracted to her. She asks if they still smooch, but that’s a no. Chelsea says her problem isn’t him, but his lifestyle. He parties all night, and sleeps all day. She can’t be with someone like that, and wonders what it is with this town and the men.

Austen says his fun employment period won’t last forever. He has nothing to fall back on, and is feeling the pressure, hearing his mother’s voice in his head. He wants to stay in the beer industry, but was nervous that his passion would be killed once it became the daily grind. He talks to a bartender about one of their beers. In his interview, he says he’s tired of peddling someone else’s wares. It’s time for him to do his own thing, but he has to figure out what it is.

Thomas calls his dad. He’s almost 91, and doing great. Thomas says he’s quick as a lark, mixing his similes. They discuss a table that Thomas wants. Arthur grew up during the Depression, and Thomas is afraid to tell him what he spends on anything. Arthur tells him Ashley is too nice for him. He wants Thomas to have a country girl even though Thomas’s mother was from San Francisco. Arthur says he trained her, and Thomas wants his notes.

Kathryn visits Craig. In his interview, Craig says they’ve always connected on some strange level. She’s brings him a spice set as a housewarming gift, and he shows her around his new place. In his interview, he says he and Kathryn don’t judge; it’s kind of a safe place. He shows her some things he’s sewn and embroidered. All he took was the sewing machine, and he needed an outlet. Now he can make his pillows as much as he wants without criticism. He asks if she’s going to Cameran’s shower, but she says no. In her interview, she says would have been surprised if she’d been invited.

Craig asks what she thinks about Thomas and Ashley. Kathryn feels badly for Thomas, and thinks he’s being played. Craig thinks Ashley is a hopeless romantic, but Kathryn doesn’t buy it. She tells Craig when they were in New York, she and Thomas hooked up, and he tried to tell her that he wanted another baby. Craig says at least she didn’t get pregnant this time.

Patricia’s theory of having a party is to use things you already have. She explains that Slim Aarons is the theme. He’s a famous photographer who chronicled social life in Palm Beach in the 60s. She tells the caterer that the spread is amazing, and it is.

Chelsea asks her cute Pittie dog which dress he likes. Craig works on some last-minute sewing. Naomie’s roommate Wilton is also her gay bey. They have champagne while getting ready. They talk about Cameran still looking skinny and beautiful. Naomie tells Wilton that Kathryn isn’t coming because the guest list was up to Patricia.

Omg, that house. Chelsea arrives first, and says it looks awesome; Patricia doesn’t skip the detail. I love Whitney’s paisley sportscoat. He thinks it looks a bit Thurston Howell III. I don’t remember him as ever wearing paisley. Maybe an ascot. Chelsea says Austen looks like Easter Sunday on drugs in his flowered jacket. Craig comes bearing pillows. Patricia doesn’t understand why he’s not a lawyer, but if making pillows makes him happy, go for it. We find out that Thomas likes a tiny heinie, which I did not need to know. I gasp when Craig totally misses his mouth with his champagne glass. And the party just started.

Cameran arrives with friend Eddie. She says it’s not a typical baby shower; it’s a typical Patricia baby shower, and beyond fabulous. I’m loving the colors. Cameran says the angel ice sculpture is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, but I wouldn’t go that far. Naomie is sad Kathryn isn’t there, and wants to say something. Chelsea thinks all it takes is one time for redemption.

Naomie asks to talk to Patricia in private. She tells Patricia that she respects her feelings about Kathryn, but she’s been spending time with her, and Patricia is like, is that the doorbell? and excuses herself. In her interview, Patricia doesn’t think it’s appropriate to bring grievances and issues to light at someone else’s house. Maybe not, but that was pretty rude, since she made a beeline for the couch, not even pretending to greet a guest. I like Patricia in a lot of ways, but this is not one of them.

Cameran demands cake. It’s a baby in a bathtub. Oh wait, is it coming out of… yes, I believe it is. Cameran loves it, and says that’s why she’s a drop-out debutante. I’m kind of surprised.

Naomie tells Craig that she just had an awkward interaction with Patricia. She respectfully approached her regarding Kathryn, trying to say she was doing better, and Patricia cut her off. Patricia thinks Kathryn is nothing, and that’s what bothers her. Craig says rehab helped Kathryn grow; he thinks they’ve all grown. He tells her that he’s gotten a lot done lately. Somehow, Naomie interprets this as him saying he’s done more in the past two months than in their entire time together, and asks why he thinks that. He says that’s a loaded question, and also an impossibility timewise. She says she’s not a mean person, but she trusted him, and he let her down. Why does she keep rehashing this? He says he’s the same person she traveled the world with. She’s the one who changed, and decided she didn’t agree with his lifestyle. She says she wanted to do something with her life. He sits home and sews, and pretends to do things. He asks what’s wrong with his sewing? He tells her that he owns two homes, so tell him that he’s a big loser at twenty-nine. Geez, I didn’t own a home until I was almost forty, and it’s doubtful I’ll ever own two. He says a year and a half in, she changed. She says she got her sh*t together, unlike him. He says she’s still focused on outward appearance. Putting on my Dr. Phil hat – or bald cap, as it were – the problem is, she wants to change him and that’s not going to happen. He’s not what she wants, and she won’t let it go. Or maybe he is what she wants, and she can’t reconcile it with what she thinks she should want. All I know for sure, is that I’d have him slaving away at that machine, and I’d be wearing custom-made clothing. And probably selling it too.

Cameran opens the gifts. Craig made her some kind of monkey lovey, and she dies laughing. She gets lots of cute stuff, and thanks everyone for their sweet presents.

JD (bleh) comes in with Elizabeth. Naomie is like, wtf? She feels stupid after what Elizabeth said to her, and wonders how Elizabeth can walk in with him and be smiling. Whitney says there’s something there Naomie must not know about. Shep tells her keeping up appearances is important in the South. She doesn’t know how to greet them, and Shep says just say hello, smile, give Elizabeth a hug, and a nod to JD. She does, but gives JD a half-hug. In her interview, Naomie says he was smirking at her like, ha-ha, I’m with her; it’s palpable. She knows he feels like he’s winning. Chelsea says she did her due diligence as a friend; it’s not her fight anymore. Shep and Whitney ditch the conversation.

JD and Elizabeth leave. Elizabeth says, love you guys, and Naomie gives her the finger. HAHAHA!

Next time, Ashley and Kathryn talk, Chelsea is worried she’ll never be in settle down mode, and Naomie says Craig is all talk and no action. For the love of all that’s holy, leave that guy alone already. Peyton

🍹 I caught some of Southern Charm New Orleans, and I think it’s worth a look. It has a very different vibe from Charleston, and I like it. My sister lived in NOLA for many years, and I was always sorry I never had a chance to visit her – for the food and music alone. Unfortunately, she got displaced by Katrina. The city’s history and culture are a contrast to South Carolina, and this group is a little more sophisticated. Confirmation on that remains to be seen, since it was only the first episode. The houses are huge and fabulous, and best of all, there are dogs. Little dogs.

⛵ There was a Summer House reunion, replacing Watch What Happens Live tonight. It was also what I call a cheap reunion, since they used the clubhouse set. It was the same sh*t, different day, with the cast doing nothing but arguing and pointing fingers. Not much of a change from the Housewives reunions, but cramped, and without the ballgowns. Kyle sat through much of it with his mouth hanging open, and the takeaway point was that they know how to party. No. Just no.

🚣 You’re Almost There…




April 18, 2018 – Emma the Budding Operative, NYC in the Hamptons, An Observation, Some Star, Serhant Sells Wax & Late


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

In Bern, Anna checks out schools with Emma. Robert shows up, saying sorry he’s late.

Franco sleeps restlessly. Elizabeth wakes him, and tells him, it’s just a dream.

Curtis brings Jordan breakfast at the station. She says she’s been working all night. He asks if she’s had any luck finding Avery or Mike, but she’s had no leads. Since Ava called the FBI, they’ve been working with them, but it’s clearly not a kidnapping. She gets it though. She’s a mom, and thinking your child might be in danger is unbearable.

TJ tells Kiki he posted flyers, and she thanks him. She wants to do something, but doesn’t know what. She’s scared for Avery. She and Mike have been gone all night; anything could have happened.

Maxie meets Nina at Charlie’s. Maxie isn’t sleeping, because it leads to dreaming and fresh heartbreak. Nina wanted to discuss something privately – Peter. Peter walks in, and Maxie says what a coincidence. She wanted to talk to Nina about Peter. He joins them.

Anna asks what Robert is doing there, and he says, helping? She says they’re managing superbly without him. They’ve been to three other schools without a hitch, and oddly, he wasn’t there. He says she can’t be too careful. He assumes they’ve had no luck. Anna says they had a promising lead, but it didn’t pan out, and this is the last school. Emma thinks it’s fun, especially helping Anna to spy. Robert says she’s quite the operative. It sounds like it’s Anna’s last hope, and he asks if she’s giving it up if they don’t find anything.

Anna tells Robert to quit trying to control her with his faux concern. He says the only thing that needs controlling is her obsession with Henrik, and she says she just has loose ends to tie up. If wants to help, stop criticizing, and assist. She tells him that he and Emma are to keep the headmistress busy while she hacks into the system. Standing in front of the laptop on the desk, Emma says it’s already open. The headmistress comes back, and asks Emma what she’s doing at the computer.

Maxie wanted both Nina and Peter to be there; she wants them to get along. Peter says they have a cordial working relationship, and Nina says they’re professionals. Maxie thinks they’re smiling through gritted teeth because of her. Peter says this is a little awkward. Maxie thinks if they get to know each other, it will be easier. They can at least try. They’re both important to her, and she asks them to do it for her and the baby.

TJ tells Kiki that his mom has been working with the FBI all night. Kiki says her mom is probably driving them insane. TJ asks if it’s not supposed to be Kiki’s first day in the Shadow Program. She says she’s supposed to shadow Dr. Bensch, but wishes TJ could take her place.

Jordan tells Curtis that the two most vulnerable types are missing; a child and an aging man with Alzheimer’s. Curtis says after finding out about Jim, his awareness has been heightened. He doesn’t want to miss anything else. He tells her that he’s investigating Peter, and Jordan asks, why? He says maybe Peter isn’t what he seems.

Franco cuddles with Elizabeth. She saw the boys off to school, and came back to bed. Franco says they could stay here all day, but Elizabeth wants to know about his dream. Once again, their cheap sheets are so loud when they’re moving around, it’s hard to hear the dialogue. Does no one check this stuff? Although nothing was worse than when construction was being done near the One Life to Live set. But I digress. Elizabeth says Franco can’t go on like everything is fine. He can’t just keep going like nothing happened. He says he’s put it behind him. She knows he wants it to be over, but it’s not. She adds that it will be, and asks about the nightmare. He dreamed he heard a boy calling for help. She asks if it Drew, but he says it was just a kid, like he was.

Emma tells the headmistress that she’s a fan of the operating system. The headmistress is impressed that she’s familiar with the European system, and apologizes for being short. She takes the students’ privacy seriously. Robert makes introductions, and says “Emelia” is exceptional. They’ve been researching schools, and it’s this is one of the highest rated. The headmistress mentions the theater program, and Emma says she’s also a theater geek. Anna thinks they could make a sizeable contribution to a new theater wing. The headmistress asks Emma if she’s truly ready to go to boarding school. Emma says she’d miss her family, thinks it would be fun; she’s already been to camp. She asks to see the dorm, and the headmistress says it will be on the tour. Her recruit coordinator will be taking them around. Anna says she thought the headmistress would be doing that, but she says she’s busy.

Jordan tells Curtis that Peter has been nothing but cooperative. He says Nina had some suspicions. He thought she was overreacting, but he found some discrepancies in Peter’s background check. Jordan asks why he’s so concerned about Nina, but he says it has more to do with Maxie.

Maxie tells Nina and Peter that she’s close to both of them on a personal and professional level. Maybe if they knew each other better on a personal level, it wouldn’t be so awkward. Peter says he’s game, and would be happy to dispel any doubts Nina has. He doesn’t usually talk about himself; he’s more of a listener. Nina says that’s admirable; most people love to talk about themselves. She’d love to hear about his life.

TJ tells Kiki if they wanted him for the Shadow Program, he’d jump at the chance. She apologizes for being insensitive. She’d thought he had it locked down; his test scores and grades are better than her. she was shocked when she was chosen. He says, no disrespect, but so was he. The committee saw something that made a difference, and asks if she knows why they chose her. She flashes back to David saying he has the deciding vote.

Franco tells Elizabeth that when he cornered Jim at the studio, he forced him to write down all the names of the kids he abused. He shows Elizabeth the list, and she asks if he’s sure it’s real. Jim was afraid for his life; maybe he made it up. Franco says he watched Jim write it, and he knew them by heart.

Anna tells the headmistress that “Emelia” obviously has her choice of other schools, and they were shown around by the headmistress at the others. Emma says they should just go, suggesting she be enrolled in one of the others. The headmistress says she’ll have her meeting postponed, and escort them herself. Anna pretends to feel dizzy, and explains she has a rare blood disorder. She tells them go on ahead while she rests. The headmistress tells her to make herself comfortable. As soon as they leave, Anna gets on the laptop.

Peter says he was never good at first dates, and Maxie tells him at least it’s not a blind date; they know each other. Peter says he knows as little about Nina as she knows about him. Maxie ask her to share, but Nina says there’s not much to share. When she was pregnant, her mother told her that her husband was having an affair. She fell apart, and was in a coma for twenty years. When she woke up, she kidnapped a baby, and was institutionalized. She tells him about her other two marriages, and says Crimson fell into her lap. She and Maxie turned it around, and now she has a man who loves her, and a daughter, and a pending niece or nephew who Nathan would have adored, had he not been shot by his father.

Kiki tells TJ it didn’t feel right. She would have turned it down, but was told she would look angry and unprofessional. TJ says he wouldn’t expect her to turn it down. They must have been looking for something else. She works there, and the doctors see her all the time. He thinks he should volunteer more. Kiki says, maybe. He tells her not to worry; he’s happy for her. She says under other circumstances, she’d be happy too, but with a missing sister, she wishes she could take the day off. TJ doesn’t think she’d be faulted if she did.

Elizabeth says there are so many boys on the list; their innocence destroyed and scarred for life. She wonders how it’s affected their thinking, their choices, and hearts, and how they can trust anyone. Franco says maybe they got lucky; he did. Maybe they have someone like her in their lives. She says he’s the one who remembered and confronted Jim, but he says not soon enough. Elizabeth says maybe they’re grown and got help and healed. Franco says maybe they’re still haunted and suffering, the way he is. She asks what he’s doing with the list.

Anna finds a match in the school records. She hears them coming back.

Peter says he didn’t have a normal, happy childhood. His mother wasn’t around, and his dad shipped him to boarding school. He attended several, but came to. He talks about living in Milan, but Nina catches him when he claims to have lived in the center of the city, since she’s more familiar with it than he is.

Curtis tells Jordan that there should be a living situation on record, but it’s like Peter didn’t exist before he turned twenty-one. Jordan suggests he came from a wealthy family who was protecting him against publicity, but Curtis thinks no internet presence is odd. He thinks maybe the records of the offshore companies he worked for were doctored, and Jordan says even big companies do it to protect people. Curtis says there’s no birth record. He asks if she can check to see if Peter is in the witness protection program.

David (aka Dr.Bensch) asks if Kiki is ready. She explains her little sister is missing, and wonder if they could postpone.

Franco doesn’t know what he’s going to do with the list yet. She asks if he thinks they don’t deserve to know Jim is dead; they might be relieved. He says he doesn’t know how to track them down, but she says there are plenty of ways. He asks what if they don’t want to be found or reminded? What if they’re like him, and tried to bury everything. She says then they’ll deal like he did, but it’s up to them. Franco thinks then he’d be the bad guy, dumping everything in their laps. Elizabeth thinks maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it. He says he didn’t remember because didn’t want to give words to something that shouldn’t be spoken. He couldn’t even tell himself. How can he be the voice for all these people?

The headmistress says the tour isn’t over not yet, but she wanted to know if Anna has recovered enough to go with them. Anna says she hasn’t, but feel free to continue. Emma says she’s good, and got what she wanted; they can go. She looks pointedly at Anna.

Jordan asks Curtis, why? He says, for him. It’s a paid job, but concerns someone he cares about. Peter works for Drew, who’s going through hell. He’d hate to see Drew lose his business. Should he keep digging or will she help him?  She makes a call. She tells someone they told her to call if she needed a favor. She just needs a yes or no.

Elizabeth understands the shame and shock. It took a while for her to recover from being raped. She was afraid and angry, and shut down. People helped her through it, like she’s there to help him. She tells him there’s no rush getting through it; it takes time. He needs to take care of himself and heal, then decide about the list. She says he needs to remember he’s far from evil. He didn’t try to kill Drew; he tried to protect him. He was lied to and manipulated, and the one person who should have protected him, failed him. None of it is his fault. He’s free of all of it. He tells her he loves her, and someday, this will be behind them. She knows and will be right there – always – whatever he needs. He says all he needs is her.

David tells Kiki that he heard about it on the news. She says they’re extraordinary circumstances, or she wouldn’t ask. He says it’s too bad she’s having a personal conflict on the first day, but in order to be an effective physician, she can’t let it get in the way of treating patients. She’s learning this on her first day. Kiki wants to be there for her mother, but David asks if she’s essential, or if there’s anything she can do to locate her sister. She admits there isn’t, and he says then her career comes first. They have trained people looking, and she can’t do more to help. The only thing she could do, is hold her mother’s hand. He tells her they’re late for rounds. She asks if he’s doing this because she rejected him.

Peter says where he was, was the center of the city for him, since his office was there. As for love interests, he never stayed any place long enough to find anyone. Maybe if he stays in Port Charles, there will be. Maxie asks why he wouldn’t be staying. What opportunity might lure him away? Nina gets a text, and has to go. Maxie asks if they’re copacetic. Peter says he’s good, and Nina says she has no problem with Peter except for his stinginess with the budget. Nina leaves, and Maxie says that didn’t go as expected. Peter says it was a kind gesture, and appreciated.

Outside of the office, Anna tells Emma that she needs more time. Emma says when they were in the library, Robert was a decoy for her, and she found the school’s production of Julius Caesar. There was an Henri Francoise in the cast, and she thinks it might be Henrik. Robert says Emma is cunning and can get out of a tight spot. She says it’s in her DNA; she comes from long line of spies.

Franco and Elizabeth get busy. There’s a song part. I try to get my email, which is messed up today. The cherry on my internet cake for the week.

David tells Kiki that he’s set their misunderstanding aside, and expects her to show maturity. Not everything is about her. He tells her not to squander the opportunity. They have work to do – unless she wants to wallow in her personal problems.

Curtis tells Nina there’s no record of Peter before he was twenty-one, and his professional records are superficial. There could be a legit reason, but there are also illegitimate reasons. He says to act natural, and don’t tip him off. Keep her suspicions to herself, and don’t tell Maxie; just be there for her. He repeats not to tell Peter anything, and Nina says she just kind of did that.

Maxie insists on picking up the check. She asks what Peter meant about a better offer, and if he wants to leave Port Charles. He says he’s never put down roots or made friends anywhere. He came to do a job, but he might be getting a life too.

Anna says Emma is right; all the dates match up. Emma tells her that all students are encouraged to take part in the theater program. She thought it sounded like something Henrik would be in, because his father’s name was Cesar. Robert thinks Emma’s powers of deduction are frightening. They look at the cast picture. Anna says she can’t tell anything yet, but she will. She swears she’ll find him.

Tomorrow, Drew asks about Franco, Kim is where she wants to be, and Carly asks Griff what’s going on.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Sonja packs for the Hamptons. She remarks to ex-assistant Lulu that everyone her age is going to jail. She doesn’t want to be photographed dancing on tables, and have her daughter see it on Instagram.

Carole usually stays at Bethenny’s, but her house is full, so she’s staying with Tinsley.

Bethenny puts Groucho Marx nose/glasses on her dogs. She calls her brand manager, making sure things are in order for the weekend. In her interview, she says Carole and Tinsley are thick as thieves.

Sonja hasn’t even gotten on the bus – a Jitney, whatever that is – and she’s exhausted.

Dorinda almost runs over a Con Ed guy. Which most New Yorkers probably want to do. Carole says Ramona is throwing her a marathon party. She tells them it’s like a blur to her; she was in so much pain. Carole says she heard Sonja called Tinsley a whore. In her interview, Tinsley says it’s news to her that a guy is paying her way. It’s upsetting, and making her angry. She tells them it’s defamatory and ridiculous. Dorinda says she was blindsided. Sonja is nasty-nice, cutting your throat while smiling; then you see blood on you. Carole tells them to forget she’s mean. Tinsley talks about confronting her, but not right away, and Carole says, it’s going to be a fun weekend.

LuAnn always had cars for the children, and is thrilled to be driving a Mercedes. She goes to a gourmet store to get a gift basket for Bethenny, and picks up some stuff for brunch. Sonja calls, saying she’s in South Hampton. She’s going to pick up her car that she leaves there. LuAnn says Sonja’s laundry list is crazy. She can’t imagine calling a hostess with a list that long. She wants to blend her own smoothies, so LuAnn picks up a blender as well.

Ramona thinks her car is like her – sexy and powerful, with a lot of energy. Is it annoying too? A friend has recommended an artist to her, and she has him bring over some paintings, since she’s redoing her house. She makes him move some furniture while he’s there. And set up her TV.  Wtf is with these spoiled women?

Sonja arrives with her dog. A dog whose hair has been dyed. LuAnn presents the Ninja blender. Sonja says normally, it would be a case of wine and a twenty-year-old, now it’s juices and a blender. They talk about the trip to Mexico, and we flash back to LuAnn drunkenly falling in the bushes. Sonja says she’s not hearing from Tinsley. In her interview, LuAnn says Sonja can be irritating, but Tinsley can be like a spoiled brat. Sonja thinks that Tinsley reacts like she would with her mother, and hides. She doesn’t want Sonja in her business. LuAnn talks about the marathon party. Sonja says she texted Carole after the marathon, and got a THX a few days later. LuAnn says same with her, but hers was spelled out.

Ramona picks paintings, and Tinsley, Carole, and Dorinda arrive. In her interview, Dorinda says Ramona is doing the right thing by getting rid of the man stuff in the house after the divorce. You shouldn’t smell, hear, see, or touch it. Ramona talks about getting the wrong bed because she clicked on the wrong style online. Translation: She was too lazy to actually look at what she was buying.

Bethenny is ten minutes late for the 8:30 dinner, but no one else is there. She’s worried no one is showing for her party, and sits alone at the table, the other restaurant patrons looking at her. At nine, the ladies begin to trickle in, and not one of them says sorry. Tinsley doesn’t want to sit next to Sonja, and in her interview, Bethenny says the table is the size of a postage stamp. Everyone is sitting next to Sonja. Tinsley totally ignores Sonja. In her interview, Bethenny says Sonja didn’t get the memo. Tinsley is clearly pissed about something. Dorinda tells LuAnn that Sonja is harmful, and fills her in on what she said about Tinsley. She tells LuAnn that Sonja says it with a smile. In her interview, LuAnn doesn’t know who’s supporting Tinsley, but she doesn’t ask those questions.

Luann tells Carole the marathon was a great accomplishment. Sonja complains about Carole’s reply to her text. Bethenny says she never got a reply, but didn’t take it personally. She and Carole get in a disagreement about if and when Bethenny’s text was sent. In her interview, Ramona says it’s a whole new Carole, and she’s found her voice. She’s usually the only one who will contradict Bethenny.  Bethenny pulls out her phone. Carole says she was wrong about the time, but she did reply. In her interview, Bethenny says that it’s hard for Carole to take criticism, even when you’re just making a comment. Tinsley says none of them even showed up at the marathon.

Bethenny says LuAnn isn’t doing badly. LuAnn says she should have heeded Bethenny’s warning, but she couldn’t see. We flash back to the Countess of Denial. I pick myself up off the floor, since she seems truly humbled. She says she was in love and was blind. Bethenny doesn’t want her to feel like she has to say anything, but LuAnn wants to say she was right. In her interview, Bethenny says she didn’t know this moment was coming. Let her get ready. In her interview, LuAnn says, in retrospect, she realizes she didn’t see clearly. She stood by her man, and he watched her fall. She says it’s like a Greek tragedy. In her interview, Bethenny says, farce, satire, and a lot of words fit, but tragedy isn’t one of them. LuAnn says Tom couldn’t handle being married. In her interview, LuAnn says she doesn’t regret anything. We learn and grow from our mistakes. Dorinda says good thing she cut her losses and got out. LuAnn says she just wants to move on. Sonja whines about her not bringing it up, and LuAnn repeats that she wants to move on. Ramona says sometimes it’s good to talk to people who care, but respects her not talking about it. Tinsley says she wasn’t being mean, just trying to help. She talks about Scott, and says he didn’t offer her the option to move, but now he’s willing to jump back in. In her interview, she says they’ve been talking. Not full-on back together, but she thinks it’s a step toward it. Somehow, Tinsley has taken her bra off from underneath her large sweater. Most of us know these tricks, and I applaud. In her interview, Bethenny says, cue the music.

LuAnn sings Happy Birthday. In her interview, Bethenny says not everyone gets a Marilyn Monroe birthday performance, but I’m not sure what that was. A plate of several different desserts like brownies and blondies comes out, with a candle in the middle of it. In her interview, Bethenny says no one is taking the evening too seriously; it’s her type of birthday. They put on Groucho glasses, and dance around.

Carole doesn’t believe anything bad will happen, so she doesn’t lock her door. Now everyone knows that. I’m starting to rethink Carole. She and Tinsley meet Bethenny for lunch. They discuss egg freezing. In her interview, Bethenny says Carole isn’t as excited to see her as she used to be. She’s not Carole’s plus one right now. Tinsley says her mom wanted her to freeze eggs that were younger then forty, and basically forced her to do it. Bethenny says people tolerate Ramona, and Carole says LuAnn is a dark cloud and an ominous presence. Wow. I thought she was just a drunk ex-Countess. In her interview, Bethenny says Carole can’t stand LuAnn.

LuAnn bakes pies. Sonja wears LuAnn’s slippers, and is glad she’s not like Dorinda, who was not happy when Sonja raided her closet. Dorinda and Ramona arrive. They talk about Tinsley ignoring Sonja at dinner.

Bethenny asks what Tinsley is mad about, and Tinsley fills her in about what Sonja said. In her interview, Bethenny says kept woman is the next step after socialite, although I don’t think that’s true. Tinsley says Sonja makes it sound like she’s an escort.

LuAnn and the others sit to eat. Sonja talks about taking antidepressants because she’s high strung. In her interview, Dorinda says everything there is to be suffered, Sonja owns it. She’s the only one who’s done anything of worth. Ramona remarks about how defensive Carole and Bethenny were. LuAnn thinks there’s been a change in the dynamic. Dorinda says Carole has changed, and LuAnn says marathons will do that. They give you a sense of empowerment.

Carole says she wasn’t angry at Bethenny, just correcting her. In her interview, Bethenny is excited about the house she bought. It’s not far from the restaurant, and they’re walking over.

Ramona whines about renovations, and Sonja says something about Ramona being involved with the contractor. Ramona doesn’t like it when Sonja makes up stuff. Dorinda asks how Sonja would like it if they just made things up? In her interview, Sonja says Ramona makes fast friends when she needs something, then dumps them. Dorinda goes on a tear, chattering away nonsensically the way Sonja does. In her interview, Dorinda says she wants Sonja to be present. Sonja says she’s not making it up, and Ramona says she is. In her interview, Ramona says Sonja has been missing in action, and she’s not making sense. Ramona suggests they make a pact to be more considerate of each other’s feelings. I laugh. Sonja says she doesn’t express her feelings well; she’s sensitive. LuAnn says Sonja has been through a lot. Dorinda says, stop with the baloney. She buried a husband, and Sonja acts like the world came to an end because hers left her eleven years ago. She tells Sonja not to compare the two. He left her. She was screwing around in the south of France, and he married her friend.

To be continued…

Next time, Bethenny visits the new house, Dorinda and Ramona both demand an apology from Sonja, and Tinsley screeches at Sonja.

🌴 Because I have nothing better to do, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was on in the background, I was thinking about how LVP didn’t use Dorit in the photo shoot for the jewelry in Beverly Hills Lifestyle. LisaR tried to stir the pot, by asking was it the photographer or really LVP who didn’t want to use Dorit? The photographer definitely said he did not want to use Dorit because she’d badmouthed the photos. And she did. She said they were terrible, and she didn’t like anything about them. You might think, who cares, as long as he likes them, and the magazine is happy about them, but I thought of something else. It could be the photographer is just a temperamental artist, but the magazine might be concerned she’d give them bad press, especially since her comments were shown on the program. Dorit needs to quit being offensive, and then being offended when there are repercussions. Yep, this is the kind of thing I think about.

⭐ On Star, Carlotta told Star and Alex they were both messed up, and the common denominator was Noah. Alex realized she couldn’t live next door to Derek and focus on the tour, and Carlotta told her to do what she had to. Carlotta told Maurice that Take 3 needed a hot track, and she’d found an old one for them to use. He decided to have the group and Noah both do demos, and Maurice picked Noah to do the track.

Simone suggested Angel come live at the salon. Carlotta agreed, but later found them getting busy in her new wig room. They weren’t the only ones getting busy, since Angel walked in on his mom and Jahil revisiting their history in more ways than one. Paola decided to go back to her husband, telling Jahil that he was her first love, but can’t be her last.

At the reopening party for the salon, Star and Miss Ruby nearly had a throw down, after which Star got seriously drunk. Jackson took her to a bar, but called Maurice to come and get her. She told Maurice that she’d killed her mother, but didn’t remember it the next day. Maurice offered her another song, but she said she didn’t want a pity track. Alex had seen Derek with someone else at the party, and also saw that he could move. Noah had apologized for coming between them, but since that wasn’t a problem anymore, Alex and Noah got busy in the RV. Lots of that going around tonight.

Simone told Star that she can’t help it if she’s white, and to ignore Miss Ruby. During the party clean-up, Miss Ruby said she could handle Star’s ass, having survived abuse at the hands of white people. She’s not so sure Star is white anyway. So, I guess that was a truce.

A woman knocked at the salon door, looking for her son’s father, Arnold. Cotton told her he’s not there anymore. Next time, Cotton deals with being a father. Throughout the episode, Queen Latifah wore a modern version of a 50s bob, with the subtlest, most beautiful, purple highlights.

💲 This week on Sell It Like Serhant, Ryan helped sell waxing memberships to hairy New Yorkers. He told us that Mariel had sparkle, but no self-confidence. That was putting it mildly, since she could barely get through a sales pitch. The owner said she was opening a new spot, and if Mariel wasn’t up to speed by the time she did, she was going to let her go. Mariel told Ryan that waxing freaks her out. Ryan thought it was the weirdest thing ever after talking to a potential client himself (and selling a membership), but weirder for the person walking in. After she almost gave up passing out flyers, Ryan had a heart-to-heart with Mariel, who said she’d moved to NYC from LA with her boyfriend. Then whined that she had no one. Her parents told her that she had to make it on her own (much like Mary Tyler Moore, but without the spunk). Planning on managing the salon when the boss went to the new location, she told Ryan that her goal was to be an entrepreneur – a term thrown around so much, I don’t even know what it means anymore. Even though she wasn’t that enthusiastic about the business, she didn’t want to switch lanes when she’s halfway there. Her parents sounded sensible, but she struck me as spoiled as far as her expectations of life in the city went. She made it sound like life was lonely and torturous. Her apartment was a million times nicer than my first one, and after living with roommates I didn’t know well, I lived by myself. Somehow, Muriel got it together at a sales event. Ryan wanted to settle for three subscriptions, but the boss wanted five. The takeaway sales point was to never take no for an answer. Muriel’s sales have increased by 60%, so there you go. Next time, it looks like Ryan helps out a cabin salesman, although clips of a gym and some lumberjacking confused me.

🎶 An Appropriate Song Title…




April 13, 2018 – Sam Teams Up with Jason, Beverly Hills Takes Its Seasonal Bow, 31 Doorbells & a Terrier


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Ava storms into Sonny’s house, asking what he’s done with her little girl. Chase asks if she’s the mom, not Carly, and Michael says Sonny has full custody. Ava tells them that she had to find out Avery was missing from an alert on her phone. Sonny says he’s been focused on finding Avery. Chase asks where Ava was, and she says at Charlie’s, waiting for Carly. Michael confirms that, and Griff arrives. Ava notices that Sonny and Carly are whispering, and she says if they’re discussing any information about Avery, tell her right now.

Jason tells Sam that the Swiss police arrested Spinelli, and he has to get him out of lockup. She asks how he plans on doing that.

Kim comes into Charlie’s. Julian says he missed her company, and she tells him that she brought him something – pillows for his office/bedroom. It’s her way of thanking him for being understanding about her feelings for Drew.

Dante gets into bed with Lulu, whining that the Yankees lost. She tells him the season just started, but he says they all count. She says, they’ll come back. They’re the Yankees; it’s what they do. He tells her, spoken like a true fan. They start to get busy, since apparently, Yankee fandom is hot.

Sonny says that Max reached out to his associates, and he’s positive Avery and Mike’s disappearance had nothing to do with his business. Ava asks Chase if he knows that Sonny is the Godfather of Port Charles, and that his goons won’t share half of what they know. Sonny insists he’s fully cooperating. Carly says that Avery is the most important thing, and Ava asks why Carly wasn’t with her. What could have been so important?

Jason tells Sam that he can take care of it himself. Sam says he’s not good at passing himself off as someone else. She’ll go. She has a fake ID that she always carries. She wonders what they were thinking, and Jason says Spinelli had a plan. Alexis arrives, saying it was a long flight. She says hello to Jason like this is no big deal, and Sam asks what she’s doing there. She says Sam left for a week and took her grandchildren. Sam says they need her to watch the kids. Geez. Mom as free babysitter within ten seconds. She tells Alexis that Spinelli is in jail, and they need to get him out.

Julian thanks Kim for the pillows, and she admits she was thinking about herself a little. He’s glad to be able to talk to someone, since he can’t say hello to Alexis without disaster striking. He’s worried about Sam, who left town for a while. Kim says she probably just wanted to clear her head. He says no one is returning his calls, but Kim is sure Sam is all right. He’s worried about when she comes home, because he thinks Drew is the best guy for her. He realizes he’s being insensitive, but Kim says it’s fine. He let her slide; now it’s her turn.

Lulu interrupts the preliminaries, telling Dante she needs to hit save on her laptop. Dante asks if she wants to text her boss while she’s at it. She says Peter has been supportive, but Dante thinks there’s a fine line between that and manipulative. He just wants her to have her eyes open; he’s not the perfect mentor. She says they’ll have to agree to disagree. She doesn’t like things about Dante being a cop, but it comes with the package, and the same goes for him. He says he wants her to be successful, and she tells him, ditto, but there’s something lacking in his training. They get busy again.

Carly says she had a doctor’s appointment, and was going to drop Avery off after she went to the park with the nanny and Avery’s grandfather. She called Pilar when she realized she was going to be delayed. Chase wonders if one of Sonny’s enemies could have caused the delay, but Sonny says that’s not the case. Ava wants to know who would leave a child alone with a man who has dementia. Avery went missing on Carly’s watch. Griff thinks she should table the blame, but Ava says Carly put her daughter in danger, and she wants to know why. Sonny says, enough! which is what he always says when he runs out of other words. He says Carly didn’t leave her alone; it was an accident. Ava wonders if he’d say the same if it was her, or would he call her negligent? That is a really good point. He says Mike would never hurt Avery, and she says, not under normal circumstances. Michael suggests looking by the carousel. Chase tells Sonny that he understands his need to control things, but let the police search. Michael says they’re fully cooperating. Ava and Griff decide to go to the station. Ava says that Sonny has claimed he’s keeping her and Avery apart for Avery’s safety. Who’s the threat now?

Alexis tells Sam that she’ll watch the kids as soon as they talk alone. Jason leaves, and Sam asks, what just happened? Alexis says she’s worried about Sam. Spinelli did something illegal, now they’re all doing something illegal in a foreign country with her grandchildren there. Sam says she has a valid point. However – Alexis knew there would be a however – she’s assuming they’ll get caught. She, Spinelli, and Jason don’t get caught. I’m not sure what she’s calling what just happened to Spinelli, but okay. She says they’ve been in worse situations than this. Alexis says it’s worse than she thought. Sam and Jason are getting back together, aren’t they?

Kim tells Julian it’s a confusing situation. Julian knows how she feels. She admits her heart raced a little seeing Drew, but it’s only a reflex. They haven’t even had alone time in over a decade. Besides, she’s having fun with Julian. They sit a a table, talking and laughing together, and Lucy comes in. She says a little birdie at the hospital told where to find Kim. Julian introduces them.

Sonny asks Michael if he’s heard from Dante. Michael says he left some messages. He tells Sonny that they’ll find her, and leaves. Carly says he’s right; it will be okay. Mike would never hurt Avery. Sonny says not on purpose, but what if he doesn’t remember who she is?

Spinelli waits in an interrogation room. He looks up, and says, Deputy Marshall, we meet again. The warden, or whoever he is, says this is the man who was posing as Henrik Faison. Spinelli tells Jason that since he’s been following him around the planet, he should say thank you. It beats his cubicle in Washington. Jason says the sooner he’s in custody, the better. The Swiss dude goes to check on the paperwork. Spinelli says he trusts everything was in order, and no one questioned him. Jason asks if Spinelli is okay, and he says it’s actually quite pleasant, as much as lockup can be. The staff is polite, and the food is edible, as long as you like sausages and strudel. He hopes he didn’t pull Jason out of slumber. Jason says he was with Sam.

Sam explains to Alexis how she and Jason bumped into each other in the hotel hallway. Alexis wonders if Jason followed her, but she says he’d never do that. Alexis asks if Spinelli would. Sam says it’s not out of the realm of possibilities, but if he did, they’re having a serious conversation. Alexis says everyone else does Jason’s dirty work. It’s never his fault. Sam says Alexis wants him to be wrong, but Alexis says she wants Sam to be safe. She broke free of that life, now Jason is dragging her back. Sam says no one is dragging her anywhere. She’s not with Jason. She’s not ready.

Lucy tells Kim that she’s there on behalf of the Nurses’ Ball, an historic tradition and the largest fund raiser for the hospital, with the money going to HIV/AIDS research. Kim says she’ll take two tickets. Lucy looks at Julian, and he says he’ll be there. She says the donations offset the operative costs, so the proceeds can go to charity. She tells Julian that Sonny is very generous, and gives the largest contribution every year, but she’s not saying he has to live up to Sonny’s example. Julian tells her to put him down for whatever Sonny puts in. She sits down, and says they have to talk about something else that’s important – the performances. How does Kim feel about the spotlight?

Lulu and Dante have pillow talk. She asks him if the WSB ever shared any intel on Henrik or the connection between him and his father. Dante says in the spirit of agreeing to disagree, he has no input. She says fine. She’ll do her business, and he’ll do his. He says, unless it’s something big that could be dangerous and she’s wondering if she should take the risk. If it effects the family and kids, they definitely have to talk about it.

Sonny keeps thinking about how much Avery loves and trusts Mike. She has faith he’ll protect her, but that’s not the case anymore. Carly says even if he’s having an episode, Mike will make sure she’s okay. Sonny says, what if he wanders off? Carly says, someone will find her. Sonny tells her it’s cold and dark. Carly is scared too, but says they’ll get her home. She’s so sorry she wasn’t there. Sonny says she never said where she was. She thinks about the note and being in the cemetery, and he asks, where was she?

Sam agrees that she’s tired and confused, but just because she’s mixed up doesn’t mean she can’t help solve a mystery. Alexis asks if she thinks she can really leap tall buildings and face gunfire without getting back into the relationship with Jason.

Jason asks if Spinelli knew Sam and the kids were there. Spinelli says he might have had that information; he’s been keeping tabs on their whereabouts. Jason asks if Sam knew, and he says, no, but if there was an emergency, he could alert Jason to their peril, and he could save the day. Jason asks why he didn’t tell him, and Spinelli thought the probability of them coming into contact was very low. If they did encounter one another, it would be fate. There were no machinations on his part whatsoever, and he waited to see if fate would bring them together. Jason says if he wants to leave it to fate, don’t interfere. Stop pushing. Spinelli asks if it isn’t what his heart desires more than anything.

Lulu gets back on her laptop, and sees the alert. She looks at Dante’s phone, and calls out to him.

Max tells Sonny that they went through the park twice, and checked the playgrounds, but there’s no sign. Sonny asks, what about near Charles Street where Mike used to stash the goods? Max says they’re doing that now. Sonny tells him to give the guys emergency blankets. When Avery and Mike are found, they’ll be cold.

Chase says they’ve been missing over five hours, and there’s some cop talk about units. Ava tells Griff that Avery has to be all right, and he says don’t go there. She says what if she’s hurt? Mike wandered off, and Avery is with him. Griff says the police will find them. Chase asks Michael if he can think of anything else. Michael says he keeps going through it, trying to figure out where Mike took her. Ava says Avery isn’t really missing. Mike walked off with her, and where she’s from, they call it kidnapping.

Kim says unless Lucy wants her to deliver a baby on stage, she has no talent. Lucy says that’s the point. It’s not about talent, but heart. She just needs to have fun. It’s magical. The one night they come together, putting aside their differences and heartbreak, for a worthy cause. She tells them both to think about it. She’ll keep in touch – ta!

Kim says, she is…  and Julian says, yep. Kim asks if he knows he was just manipulated into a huge donation. He realizes that, but says it’s for a worthy cause. Kim asks if he wants to be her date. He says a lot can happen between now and then. She says she’s counting on it.

Sam tells Alexis she doesn’t care how it looks. She’s a PI, and she’s good at it. It’s been a long time since she did something she’s good at, could breathe, and be herself. She’s looking forward to it. Alexis is glad she’s happy and feels less suffocated, but asks what she plans to do with the kids. Sam says maybe Alexis can take them back to Port Charles. Alexis goes on record that this is a terrible idea, but she’s happy to take the kids. They hug.

Jason says it kills him not telling Sam they should get together and worry about everything else later. He has to stop himself because she’s not ready. He doesn’t know if she ever will be, but the last thing he wants to do is pressure her and make it worse. He loves her, but doesn’t want to be her choice because she doesn’t know what else to do. If Spinelli’s goal is to be a friend, then be a friend to Sam. Spinelli says Sam was shattered when she lost him. Little by little, she rebuilt her life, but she wasn’t the same person. She lost herself until him – the actual him – came back. He can and will be a friend, and gives his word, as much as he might feel they belong together. The warden, or whoever he is, comes back. He says Spinelli is Jason’s problem now. Jason cuffs him, and tells him to shut up and walk. He takes Spinelli outside.

Dante runs into Sonny’s place, apologizing, saying his phone was dead. He asks if they’re cooperating with the police, and Sonny says they just want her found. Dante asks what happened, and how Mike was this morning. Sonny says they had a tough conversation, Mike was doing a puzzle, and he left. Dante asks if Mike was talking about any people or places he wanted to see, and how Pilar described him. Sonny says everything was fine, and she went to get a pretzel. She turned her back for a minute, and they were gone.

Ava tells Chase to call the FBI. Michael asks if she’s serious. He wonders if she’s doing this because she’s scared, or wants a bigger club to beat his dad with. He tells Chase it wasn’t kidnapping, but Chase says they’ll leave that decision up to the FBI. Michael calls Dante.

Dante tells Michael that he had the feeling that might happen. He tells Sonny that the direction has been changed from missing to kidnapping, and the FBI has been notified.

Kim asks Julian why he’s gun shy. He insists he’s not, and she says, then tell her yes. It’s one magical night, and she wants to spend with him. She suggests they make a pact. If either one of them is feeling a change, they let the other know right away; no muss, no fuss. He says it sounds good, and he’d love to go with her.

On the phone, Lulu says this needs to run on their digital site. Right now, a little girl and her grandfather are missing.

Ava says Avery must be tired and scared; where is the FBI? Griff tells her labeling Mike as a kidnapper isn’t going to help; he’s not a criminal. She says she gets that he’s sick, but Griff could have prevented this by telling Sonny’s family he should be watched at all times. Griff says it was an accident.

Sonny says if Mike is treated like a criminal, he won’t handle it well. They’re running out of time.

Alexis books a flight for her and the kids back to Port Charles.

Outside, Jason uncuffs Spinelli. They start to head to the train, when Sam asks if they need a ride; she’s driving. Sam smiles, and Spinelli looks out of his mind with joy.

Tomorrow, it’s Kiki’s first day to shadow, Elizabeth tells Franco it’s not over yet, and Curtis tells Jordan that Peter isn’t who he seems to be.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit arrives at the fashion show, and is delighted the palm trees are there. The space does look wonderful. She says her vision was interpreted exactly. She’s invited the press and influencers, and hopes they get the word out – and that it’s a good word.

Ken is snoozing in the car, and LVP tells him not to sleep through the show. She’s hoping the models on the catwalk keep him awake.

In her interview, Dorit says it was difficult when PK asked her to give up her company to start a family. The only way to reconcile it was to go on hiatus, and now they have two beautiful kids to show for it.

Erika is still sick, and sweating it out. In her interview, LisaR says she can relate to Dorit. You’re one collection away from being a huge success or a failure.

The ladies do the red-carpet thing, and go in for cocktails. Dorit does a last-minute check of the models. Camille got engaged the night before, and everyone admires her huge round diamond. She says life is pretty darn good. In her interview, LVP says Camille has had a horrible, tumultuous ride, and we flash back to that d-bag Kelsey Grammer, who doesn’t deserve bold type. Now she’s in a great place. Edwin and Mauricio discuss Mauricio’s new house. Once again, Pantygate is brought up. Kyle feels it’s the second time Dorit is trying to create a problem between her and Erika, but Erika says it’s water under the bridge.

PK announces the start of the show. Kyle wonders if there’s an actual beach behind the curtain. Nope. It reveals the runway and seats. Dorit makes final adjustments, and announces Beverly Beach. The swimsuits are cute, but there’s not much to them, and I wonder how much she’s charging for that square foot of fabric. In her interview, LisaR says she’d totally buy one, but she’s hoping to get one for free. Dorit is proud of herself, and says she’s back. PK gives her a huge bouquet backstage. She’s thankful for his support, and says he’s empowered her to do what she wants to. Dorit gets loads of congratulations from the ladies. In her interview, LisaR says she and Dorit have come 360… or maybe it’s 180. Dorit appreciates everyone’s support. LVP says she talks too much, but has good intentions and is a great girl, supportive of her friends.

Kyle asks when the issue of Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine with Dorit in it is coming out, and LVP says Dorit didn’t like the photos. The photographer was upset that Dorit reacted so negatively, and they’re not being used. We flash back to Dorit saying there isn’t one thing she likes about the pictures. In her interview, Dorit wonders if LVP would have even told her if Kyle hadn’t brought it up. In her interview, LisaR wonders if Dorit wasn’t happy with the photos, or LVP isn’t happy with Dorit. We see a clip of the photographer saying he wants it dropped. LVP says they’ll see the jewelry, but not Dorit. In her interview, LVP says that’s what they do in England – chop off people’s heads. Kyle says LVP should put her on the cover; she doesn’t even need a glam squad. Dorit asks if Kyle has unresolved feelings. If so, they should clear it up.

Dorit says Kyle keeps saying they’re great, but it doesn’t seem that way. Kyle says she can’t expect there to be no repercussions from the dinner at the hotel. Dorit looks puzzled, and Erika helps out by saying, it’s about the underwear, referring to Pantygate – which we will never, ever be allowed to forget . Kyle says when Dorit wanted to get close to Erika, Dorit threw her under the bus again. In her interview, Kyle says she had nothing to do with Erika’s reaction to the underwear. Dorit might believe in her own delusions, but she doesn’t. She tells Dorit that she wanted to get past it, so she said they’re good, but still has feelings about it. It also comes on the heels of Dorit saying she was the first to complain that Erika left the beach house. You can’t do that to friends. Dorit claims she didn’t say Kyle was part of it. Erika says she insinuated it. In her interview, Erika tells us that she put this to bed a year ago. LVP says it’s ridiculous to go back to the underwear. I feel ridiculous even typing that. Kyle asks if Dorit thinks she was a part of it, and forever turning the tables, Dorit says Kyle must have guilt if she feels this sensitive. In her interview, Kyle says all it would take is Erika saying that Dorit hurt her feelings and embarrassed her, and Kyle had nothing to do with it. Kyle says everyone knows she had nothing to do with it, and gets up. In her interview, Erika says Kyle is worked up, and not hearing her. She never thought Kyle anything to do with it, she did defend her, and they’re good. Kyle blows the girls a kiss, and breezes out. Dorit says it’s all too Beverly Hills for her liking, which I would think would be appropriate, given the name of the collection. Kyle says she’s not kissing Dorit’s ass. In her interview, LisaR thinks Kyle likes consistency with friends or it triggers stuff about her family. I think it’s safe for me to say that most of us like consistency in all of our relationships. LisaR might be out of the drama, but she still sees it where there isn’t any.

Erika isn’t sure what the big deal is, since it was between her and Dorit. Kyle tells Mauricio that everyone is so busy kissing ass and bullsh*tting, no one is being honest. And if it’s at her expense, she’s not doing it any more. They leave. Kyle feels like everyone is full of sh*t, and doesn’t feel like being fake.

Erika says Kyle is frustrated and hurt. Teddi thinks she wanted Erika to chime in. Erika says Kyle knows she’s not blaming her. In her interview, Teddi says Erika’s silence is just as infuriating as when she was yelling at her. Just be a good friend. Dorit whines that the spirit of the evening ruined because of this. She wouldn’t do that on an important night for someone else. We flash back to her ruining Teddi’s glam night. In her interview, she says once again, Kyle has ruined a special night for her. First New York, now her fashion show. It’s not cool. Dorit, you are no Countess.

Erika leaves Kyle a message that she hates to see Kyle upset like this, and to call her back. Kyle asks Mauricio why no one has the balls to be honest.

LisaR calls Delilah to video chat, and Delilah shows them her apartment. I can tell you this, it’s very different from my first apartment in NYC. The closet was a triangle, about two feet in circumference. That should give you an idea of how magnificent it was. Harry tells her that Vogue girls are known for clean apartments. Nice try. In her interview, LisaR is blown away by Delilah’s capabilities, since she couldn’t leave the house six months ago. She’s proud. I’d also say that’s quite an accomplishment. A hairdresser shows up, since Harry needs a trim to reshoot a scene. They talk about Amelia getting the Hudson Jeans campaign. Those are nice jeans. LisaR says she’s not in the midst of the drama, when she’d been in the middle of it for three years. She decided to move on; life is too short. In her interview, she says she’s not invested enough in the petty bullsh*t to fight for herself or anyone else. The hairdresser says she’s the nicest chick he’s ever met. In her interview, LisaR is glad she’s not in the middle of it anymore. Harry asks if she’s the Yoda of the group.

Teddi and Kyle go for a run, and work out in the park. Teddi says she’s kind of obsessed with some of the bathing suits. Kyle says Dorit has great taste. Kyle felt a little tortured, and says she could have handled it better, but no one is being honest. Teddi says everyone needs to stop kissing ass, and Kyle says it was like crickets. Teddi agrees Erika could have contributed. She thinks they’ll put it aside for the viewing party. It’s exhausting, and no one gets to the point. She’s with Kyle on the subject, but not so much the delivery. In her interview, Teddi says she and Kyle approach conflict in a similar way. Teddi might have a little cry, and Kyle might flee a fashion show, but both come from the same place – frustration.

Giggy! New pup Monroe roughhouses with Schnookie. LVP says Monroe (the pup left at the rescue center last week) was sad, and they brought her to the house to cheer her up. They spoiled and worked on her, and she turned into a “little pleasure chest.” LVP wants to keep her, and points out to Ken how she looks perfect with Schnookie. LVP renames her Binky Boo. She really is adorable. A Wheaten terrier, very energetic and friendly. LVP says they’ve had a lot to deal with, and decided no more dogs for a while, but Binky brought them lots of joy. She tells us to make no mistake, Giggy is still the king. Yes!

Kyle can’t find anything in the new house. She’s happy that Faye and Mauricio organized and situated everything while she was in Berlin. She wanted to stay true to the roots of the house, but add a modern feel. She gets some food ready for the viewing party. LVP says it’s a romantic family house, like in Father of the Bride. Everyone is impressed. In her interview, Dorit says even though Kyle ruined yet another night for her, she’ll always be there to support her. They toast to Dorit’s fashion show and American Woman. Kyle feels bad about how the night ended, and says she was frustrated. Erika says she’s sorry she didn’t step in. She knows 100% that Kyle had nothing to do with it and never did. Kyle says she was mainly hurt and frustrated, and she’s sorry it ended like that. She thought Dorit’s collection was amazing, and she’s happy for and proud of her. She wants to move forward. LVP asks if there’s anything else anyone needs to discuss. In her interview, Dorit appreciates the apology, but wants to think about how she feels. She has more to say, but no more fight. Translation: She’ll bring this up at an inappropriate time in the future.

Kyle gives a tour. It’s a gorgeous house, and a very nice piece of property. She says they chose to buy new house because they didn’t want to do a renovation, but still have to make it their own. She still has things to do to make it feel like a home. We get to the closet, which is the size of a small bedroom, and Kyle says she can’t reach things without a step ladder. In her interview, Teddi says, the struggle is real.

Kyle says she’s been on TV her whole life, starting at age five. It was a natural fit to go behind the camera. Seeing her five-year project come to fruition is a dream come true. They watch the show. In her interview, Teddi says it brings back memories of moving to a new house with her mother and sisters, but not her dad. It’s an emotional trigger for some blocked memories. Everyone loves the show, and I wonder what channel it’s on. Dorit asks how Kyle’s sisters feel about it. Kyle says she hopes they’ll be excited, but they haven’t seen it yet. In her interview, Kyle says her mom was the glue that held the family together. When they lost her, Kyle tried to be the glue, but it doesn’t always work. Everyone says how thrilled with it they are, and thank Kyle for inviting them. In her interview, Kyle says this year has been about changes with both her home and friends. Just because you don’t agree, doesn’t mean you don’t care. She thinks the rest of them care too, and she thanks them for being supportive.

It’s the finale, so we get the little blurbs about what’s happening now. Kyle’s new house was burglarized. Noting has been recovered, and in addition to the usual stuff, some irreplaceable things of her mother’s were taken. This broke my heart, because I know how it feels. My first apartment in Manhattan was burglarized, and they two things that hurt the most were my mother’s engagement ring and my class ring. They also took a box of stage makeup that they must have thought was jewelry. I wish I could have seen the look on their faces. Unless it was a clown burglar.

Dorit tells everyone she’s giving them swimsuits, and says she’s proved it’s never too late to get back in the game. She’s named the swimsuits after her girlfriends. The Erika was on a Sports Illustrated cover, and the LVP sold out quickly. The Teddi Bear hasn’t been released yet.

LisaR feels a reaction to injustice, but realizes it’s not her job to confront it. She had a lesson in that, and while she’s still figuring it out, she thinks she’s learned it. She’ll be throwing her mom a 90th birthday party, where Lois intends to dance and sing, if Erika will help her with the choreography.

Erika has learned to say yes to everything. She tells us when you say yes, life starts to open. You have to take every opportunity, because one day, no one will ask. Her book has reached number nine on the New York Times Bestseller List. She’s revealed that it costs $40K a month to be her.

Teddi has learned that she’s authentically herself, whether people like it or not. She’ll apologize if she does something wrong, but call someone out if they hurt her feelings. She’s moved to a new house, where they paid $2 million under the asking price. She has now developed negotiating skills.

LVP says it’s been an arduous year emotionally, and she didn’t want their friendships to be so complicated. Every friendship is different, and if everyone understood that, life would be simpler. The rescue center has adopted out 500 dogs to new homes (including hers). She has no plans for more dogs, providing she has grandchildren to play with.

Everyone drinks champagne from a different kind of glass.

Next time, the Reunion.

📺 If you can, catch the Watch What Happens Live episode with Dorinda Medley and the Night of 31 Doorbells while it’s still on rotation. It’s one of the shows Andy did in LA, and just about everyone is on it. Most of them are West Coasters, but even Jill Zarin showed up. Lots of old ex cast members like Gretchen Rossi and Adrienne Maloof, as well as the full casts of several shows, like Vanderpump Rules and The Shahs of Sunset. James Kennedy DJ’d, as he’d done all week. The Countess sang Money Can’t Buy You Class, and everyone – guests and audience alike – looked like they were having a fantastic time. Even better, the drinking word was the ringing doorbell, which must have been rung a hundred times. I don’t suggest playing along.

😵 Still catching up from nearly two days with no triple-play. This is what happens when everything in your life happens on your electronics.

🐕 A Cute Bundle of Pup...


A Wheaten Terrier

April 16, 2018 – Jason Reunites with Sam, Jax is the Worst Person on the Planet & Whew!


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


I almost kissed the guy from Verizon. It turned out to be a loose wire on the outside pole, most likely due to the hurricane force winds we had over the weekend. I missed bits and pieces of GH in the beginning, but nothing important. Dude got here just in time, and while he was quiet, my dogs were not. They love to help out.

General Hospital

Anna tells Robert there is no danger. Jason isn’t there to watch her back; she’s watching his.

Jason sees Sam in the hotel hallway, and asks what she’s doing there. She asks if he came looking for her. He says, no, and she’s stunned that he found her anyway.

Anna says Robert’s presence is not required. Robert tells her not to be like that. I love Robert. It’s like seeing an old friend.

Finn sees Chase at Charlie’s. Chase has a huge smile, and says, hi, but Finn isn’t having it.

Ava looks at the test results, and wonders what Griff is hiding. She runs into Michael at Charlie’s, and tells him that Carly is late with Avery.

Carly looks at note – find me where you left me tonight. She goes to the graveyard, and Nelle watches.

Jason tells Sam that he’s there with Anna looking for Henrik. He says she came to get away and think, so he’s going to let her do it. Sam says she’s not going to pretend she doesn’t see him, and asks if he wants to talk about the investigation. He says, sure, and follows her to her suite.

Robert says he knows what Anna is doing, but she says doesn’t think so. Jason is the best asset she‘s ever seen. She’s grateful that he rid the world, and her, of Faison, but she doesn’t think Henrik deserves the same fate. Robert says it’s not her responsibility, but she says she’s as responsible for Henrik as Faison is.

Chase makes an attempt at banter with Finn, but Finn is irritated by Chase rolling a quarter across his knuckles. Finn tells him to cut it out, but Chase says it calms him. Chase gets a text, and has to leave.

Michael suggests that Ava phone Carly, but Ava says Carly’s phone has a tendency to drop her calls. She tells him that Nelle sets good example for her. She could learn a lot from the way Nelle tolerates Carly.

Carly tells Morgan that she’s early for her weekly visit, but someone wants her here; someone who knows him, and knows what he means to her. She smells something, and Nelle flashes back to Ava finding Morgan’s cologne. We see Nelle spraying it all over the gravesite.

One of Sonny’s guys asks if Sonny wants him to look for Mike, but Sonny thinks maybe he got hung up with Carly somewhere. Pilar runs in, asking if Mike brought Avery back. She explains how he went to the park with them, and when she went to the pretzel cart, Mike left with Avery. Sonny can’t believe she left them, but she says she just turned her back for a minute. She was hoping he brought her home. He asks why Carly wasn’t at the park, and Pilar says something came up and she was supposed to meet them there.

Carly knows that smell. She looks around and calls for Morgan.

Nelle goes to Charlie’s, and sees Michael. She asks if he’s meeting someone, but he’s there to pick something up. She tells him, great work in Lamaze, but he says she did the work. She changes it to good support, and says they make a great team for the baby. He tells her about an ELQ event for expectant parents; really an excuse to get together socialize. He asks if she wants to go.

Griff and Kiki toast to her success as a Shadow with empty coffee cups (sigh). He says rumor has it Dr. Bensch championed her cause. He tells her that they’re all pulling for her. Epiphany says don’t let them down.

Robert tells Anna that Henrik has nothing to do with her, but she says he has everything to do with her. She was in and out of Faison’s life for decades, and if she’d paid attention, she might have discovered his existence. Robert says Faison never let on that he had a son, but she says she never bothered to ask. Henrik was raised with a tyrant for a father, and still saved Jason’s life. Robert asks why. She doesn’t know; conscience, a glimmer of humanity? Robert suggest he might have wanted to use the best asset she’s ever seen for his own ends. She refuses to condemn him on speculation. She needs to find him. Robert asks, and then what? Offer him redemption? She says, exactly.

Jason asks Sam, why Switzerland? She says she spun the globe, put her finger on it, and here she is. And him. She asks about his lead on Henrik. Jason tells her the book gave him new leads. At the end, the son takes the lighter from his father’s hospital room when he dies. Anna confirmed Faison had one, and was carrying it, but it wasn’t in his personal effects. The theory there is the night Faison died, Henrik took it. Sam says if they find the lighter, they find Henrik. Jason says the problem is, so many people were in and out of the hospital, and a lighter is small enough to be concealed anywhere. The next lead is that Henrik could be targeting his mother.

Anna tells Robert that she’s not writing Henrik off. Whatever he was coerced into doing, she believes he deserves a chance at his own life and intends to see he gets it. Robert is worried about her working with Jason, and now their granddaughter is mixed up in it. Anna says he’s perilously close to pissing her off. She would never bring Emma into anything dangerous; it’s a research trip. She’s capable and they have a bodyguard. Robert says they have a mob hit man. Why throw in with Jason? He wonders where Finn is, and thought he was her back up.

At the hospital, Finn tells Griff that he sees no sign of infection. The underlying problem doesn’t seem to be physical. Griff appreciates the consult, and asks how things are with Anna. Finn says he doesn’t know. They’re not as close as they once were. Griff had hoped Faison’s death brought her peace, but Finn says she’s transferred her energy to finding Faison’s son. She can take care of herself, and he thinks she prefers to.

Kiki asks Epiphany about the Shadow schedule. Epiphany says she plugged Kiki in where she could with her regular job, and Kiki says she’ll turn herself into a pretzel and make it work. Kiki sees that the first doctor she’s going to shadow with is Dr. Bensch; she’d thought it was in obstetrics. She asks if Epiphany can change it. Epiphany gives her a look, and Kiki says, never mind.

Kiki goes to David’s office. He asks if he can help her.

Michael tells Ava about the ELQ event, and Nelle says she’d love to go if she’s not working. Ava says they can talk about donations for the Nurses’ Ball tonight instead. Sonny calls Michael, asking if he’s seen Avery or his mother. Michael says Carly was supposed to meet Ava at Charlies, and drop Avery off. Ava was looking for them too. Sonny says he’ll fill Michael in when he gets there, and not to tell Ava there’s anything wrong. He leaves. Nelle asks Ava about the pictures of the donations. Ava says they’re on her phone, and goes to get some food. Nelle scrolls through the phone, sees the picture of the test results, and says, what have we here?

Carly hears someone. It’s Chase, who asks what she’s doing there. She says she came to visit her son’s grave. He tells her that he got a call about a prowler, and there’s been vandalism at the cemetery. She says she didn’t see anyone, but he tells her she still shouldn’t be there. The earthquake left the ground unstable. She tells him about the note, but when she shows it to him, it’s blank. Okay, I have to admit, Nelle’s plan is picking up steam.

Sonny leaves a message for Carly, and tells his guy to find out what’s going on at the hospital. Michael shows up, and asks what happened? Sonny asks Pilar to tell him, hoping she’ll remember something else. Michael wonders why Sonny hasn’t called Dante, but Sonny says if he calls the police, Ava will get involved.

Carly tells Chase there was a message on the back of the flyer that told her come here. He asks if she means the cemetery, and she says where she last left him. He asks if she’s been drinking, and she insists she’s not impaired. He thinks maybe she took the wrong flyer. She says she didn’t, and wonders what’s happening.

Nelle sends a copy of the test results to herself, and deletes the sent mail from Ava’s phone. Ava asks what she thinks about the donations, and Nelle says she thinks Ava is distracted. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have left this, and shows her the test result picture. Ava claims that Griff wanted her to take a picture for backup, and she forgot it was there. Nelle asks why she doesn’t delete it, and suggests Griff doesn’t know she has it. Ava tells her to leave it alone, but Nelle says she’s only asking because she cares. She believes things aren’t as idyllic as Ava claims.

Kiki tells David that she starts the Shadow Program tomorrow, and her first rotation is with him. She asks if he arranged it.

Jason tells Sam that Anna is convinced Henrik is after his mother because of the book’s epigraph. Sam starts to look up the word on her phone, and he says it’s a quote that describes the book’s theme. For if the rot comes from both ends, together the branches must be severed. Anna seems to think it’s a statement about Henrik’s parents. Faison is already severed; now it’s his mother turn. He’s not sure it’s much of lead. Sam asks if he mentions his mother in the book, and Jason says Anna thinks there are clues to lead his mother to him, but it’s a long shot. Jason wonders why a mother would be looking for a son who wants her severed. Sam says she’s still a mom, and maybe wants to tell him her side of the story.

Anna asks why Robert is asking her about Finn, and he says she’s crazy about him. She asks who told him that, and he gives her a list, saying just about everybody. She says that Finn’s help with Cassandra was good, but that’s it. Robert knows they got close. Anna says they didn’t; they kind of did, but circumstances changed. He’s not part of their world. He’s a doctor, not a spy. Robert helps himself to a drink.

Michael asks Sonny, what if Mike tries to go to his old neighborhood? There’s still damage from the earthquake, and Avery is too young to help if anything happens. Sonny decides to call Dante. Carly comes in with Chase, asking what’s going on, and explaining Chase wanted to make sure got she got home okay. He tells her that Mike and Avery are missing, but she says they’re at the park with Pilar. Sonny tells her that Pilar bought a snack, and when she wasn’t looking, Mike disappeared with Avery. Chase asks for a photo, and Carly gives him one. He says he’ll get it to dispatch. Sonny looks grim.

Ava says she doesn’t have to explain herself to Nelle. Nelle says she wants to do what she can to help Ava get back on solid ground. Nelle is here for Ava, like she was for Nelle. Both of their phones ring. It’s a missing child alert for Avery.

Dr. Bensch tells Kiki that Epiphany does the schedule, and she asks if he arranged it. He asks why, and she says he knows why. He tells her that he bears no ill will, and thought they had an understanding. However their wires got crossed, he understands she has no romantic interest in him. They’re both adults, and both capable of putting aside their personal feelings. He’s moving forward in a professional manner. Is she?

Anna tells Robert it’s her operation, not his. If he wants in, he has to do as she says. He says now he knows why Finn isn’t here. He starts to go to his room, and she realizes he’s not leaving the suite. He tells her the hotel is fully booked, so he’s staying with her. Finn calls. Anna is obviously agitated, and he says they have emotional support animals that can help with stress.

Sam says even if Anna is right, no one knows who Henrik’s mother is; it’s a dead end. Jason tells her that he contacted the publisher, and they don’t know PK Sinclair’s identity, but he found out where the book proceeds go – to an account in Zurich. Sam wonders if he could have a relationship with the same banks Faison used. Maybe it’s the same bank as the safe deposit box. She asks how they get in? Jason says Anna thinks she can get in by posing as a wealthy widow looking for schools for her granddaughter. He’s supposed to be her bodyguard. Sam says that’s one cover he can pull off; he just has to stand there and not say anything. He tells Sam that Anna has a list of schools she wants to search. Sam wonders why, if they can get into the safe deposit box. He says it doesn’t make sense, but she insisted. He thinks Anna doesn’t want him searching on his own. She’s afraid if he finds Henrik before her, he’ll kill him. Sam wonders why she’d care, but Jason isn’t sure. His phone rings, and he says it’s a Zurich area code. He answers, and says, got it; he’s on his way. The Swiss police just arrested Spinelli.

Anna tells Finn everything is all right, but he says she sounds tense. She tells him it’s a chronic condition. She asks how he is, and he says he’s making do. She says she’s the same, and asks about Alexis. He tells her, Alexis is Alexis. He says off the record, Griff was asking about her. He’s worried, and wanted to make sure she’s looking out for herself. She thanks him for his concern, saying it means a lot. He tells her to be careful, and take no undue risks – except at the roulette table. Robert asks Anna something about the shower. Finn hears, and says it sounds like she has a chaperone, and tells her, good luck. Anna makes a sad face.

Dr. Bensch tells Kiki that he’s sorry she’s uncomfortable. She could pull out, and spend the summer hitting the books for year one. She says then the Shadow door will slam shut. He says he can keep the past in the past, and she says she can too. She’ll see him tomorrow. He tells her, wise choice. She’ll get a lot out of it.

Griff sees Nelle at Charlie’s, and asks if Ava is still there. Nelle says she just left, and shows him the missing child alert.

Chase tells Sonny that they’re already getting responses. They have the park covered, and they’re pulling the security footage. Carly tells Sonny she’s sorry, and he says she doesn’t understand. Mike gets worse later in the day, and Pilar isn’t equipped to handle it. What was so important that she’d leave them alone?

Ava bursts in, asking what did Sonny and Carly do with her daughter?

Tomorrow, Lulu agrees to disagree with Dante, Spinelli says we meet again, and Ava tells Carly to give up the information now.

Vanderpump Rules

Let’s just get it out of the way right now. I hate Jax.

Jax tells Lisa he’s tired of everyone flipping the effing script on him, and eff all these effity effing effs. He gets loud and gives the finger – with both hands – to the entire restaurant. James says he looks like he’s popping out of his shirt. Outside, he yells at Tom for daring to still be friends with James. Jax rips his mic off, and stomps down the street, banging on a phone booth as he passes it. Tom is concerned something knocked a screw loose, and says Jax looks like he needs medication. I vote Jax off the island.

Brittany apologizes to Lisa. Lisa asks why Brittany is apologizing for Jax. Brittany says she’s associated with what he does, and Lisa asks if she’s going to spend the rest of her life enabling him to her own detriment. She asks what Brittany is hoping for, and what Brittany sees that she doesn’t. Brittany says she can’t not give him a chance. Lisa wonders how many chances she’s already given him. In her interview, Brittany says people don’t see what she does, and starts to cry. Lisa tells her that she needs to ask herself if he’s something worth fighting for. Preach it, sister!

Stassi sets up for the Pucker & Pout blog party. Katie says last year, she was unhappy with herself and angry. We flash back to that. In the past year, she’s worked on growing up, and her life is going in a good direction. She’s partnering up with the lipstick queen of the internet, and revamping the blog.

Katie and Stassi tie balloons. Katie tells Stassi that Jax isn’t coming, and brings her up to speed on what happened at SUR. In her interview, Stassi says meltdown and Jax go together like pizza and ranch dressing. Katie asks where things are at with Patrick. Stassi says she can’t be up and down anymore. The first night they were in Mexico, she texted him at 4 am, asking for him to wish her a good night, and he wouldn’t let it go that she hadn’t texted immediately upon arrival. In her interview, Stassi says it got intense. She feels like she put in effort and work the second time around, and if doesn’t work out, it’s awful. She and Katie inhale some helium, since cartoon voices always elevate the mood.

Brittany makes Jax coffee. Why? She asks how he feels, and he says a little hungover. She asks what set him off; he wasn’t even himself. Oh, I think he was very much himself – a bitter middle-aged dude who hangs out with too young of a crowd, and blames everyone else for his problems. He says that Adam told him about Scheana trying to set him up with Brittany, and how he didn’t even know what was going on. Brittany says Jax went crazy on everyone, and he makes the poor excuse that everyone is always in his business, and he’s fed up. In his interview, Jax claims that everyone else has done the same as him, if not worse, but for some reason, he gets targeted. I’d say no one has acted like him, he’s the worst, and he targets others to take the focus off of his own misdeeds. He wants to move. Then they can’t blame their problems on him. I’m sure he’ll find a new set of friends to take the blame for his problems.

Lala meets James for some musical collaboration. She asks if he’s nervous. She’s sh*tting bricks about her showcase. She tells him no talking, just play the five songs right in a row. He tells her it’s a big deal, and there could be people from the industry there. He feels like Dr. Dre to her Eminem, and I can’t. She tells him that she invited everyone, and wants to be the slutty Mother Teresa. I’m not even sure what that means. They discuss Jax. Lala had invited him because he’s Brittany’s man, and feels badly for her. She says if she was in that position, someone would be dead, and it wouldn’t be her. I have to say, I do like their sound, but they think a little too highly of themselves.

Tom and Schwartz hang out at the TomTom site. They have a beer and stroll around in hardhats. Tom says the progress party is crazy; people will actually see the progress they’ve made. Um… I think that’s the point. They discuss the DJ booth. They’ve invited twenty-five guests, and go over all the things they still need to deal with. Tom gets down on one knee and asks Schwartz to officially be his partner. He gives Schwartz a tie-tack with TT on it. He has a matching one. He hopes they have beautiful business babies together. They swear they’re ride or die.

Lisa goes to the riding club, and Ariana meets her there. They go through some agility runs. Lisa tells Ariana that she has a lot of confidence in Tom, and thinks it’s a good start. Who knows where it will take him? Ariana says his priorities are all TomTom, and she’s waiting for him to work on the cocktail book. In her interview, Ariana says once he got involved with the book, she had to start over. Now he’s moved on to bigger and better things. Why did he want to be involved in the first place? She wishes he would make it more of a priority; she could have had it done by now. Lisa asks her, why wait? but Ariana wonders how to bring it up without being a nag. In her interview, Lisa says Ariana is strong enough to stand on her own. She doesn’t understand why she’s putting up with Tom’s bullsh*t. Ariana asks, what about that Jax. Lisa says he’s making the wrong choice to yell at her and Ken. He created a mess, now he has to live with it. She’s considering firing him. I would.

Everyone is impressed with Katie’s promo party. Her mom and grandma are there, and very proud. Kristen comes in on crutches. Carter asks if she wants him to carry her purse, and she says, maybe later, when she’s drunk. He thinks Kristen being on crutches is hot. I think he’s a kinkball, until I see him watching her dress ride up as she walks. Kristen explains that she’s accident prone and awkward, and compares herself to the blow-up thing at a car dealership, doing an eerily accurate impression. Adam asks Brittany how it went, and if Jax is coming. Brittany says he’s not. We see he’s busy eating ice cream from a carton at home. Brittany says he went nuts last night. Billie says he’s insecure because Adam is hot. In her interview, Brittany says Adam is working to be a bartender, and does some modeling. Jax is jealous because he’s like Jax ten years ago. Jax 2.0 maybe?

Lisa and Ken arrive. In her interview, Katie says she’s thrilled with how the party came together. She says Stassi did an amazing job, and can accomplish a lot, when she’s not stressing over Patrick and his man bun. Stassi says they’d better serve goat cheese balls at her funeral. Lala tells James that Carter is giving him dirty looks. He tells her that’s nothing new. She asks if he’ll be comfortable at the showcase, and he says it’s not like he hasn’t performed in front of these same people trying to bring him down before.

Tom and Peter talk to Carter about butchering golf in Mexico. Carter asks what James said. Tom tells him about the hot tub, and that Jax saw the cushions afterward. NO! NOT THE CUSHIONS!!! Carter wonders why they didn’t have Kristen’s back, since they’re friends. In his interview, Tom thinks of all the times Kristen lied to him, and we flash back to that. Tom says it doesn’t look good. He was in the same situation; thinking, no way, and then it was, way.

Kristen talks to someone about her Cheadle – a beagle and chihuahua mix. Carter asks why she’s talking to more dudes. She asks where he’s been, and he says he heard about her and James in a jacuzzi. He says they weren’t just on the beach for ten minutes. She explains there was a plunge pool outside the room, but she wasn’t in it. Who is he going to believe, her or Jax? He says, her, and she asks why punish her then? In her interview, Kristen says her own boyfriend doesn’t believe her. She swore the group wouldn’t get in middle of her relationship, and they have. There’s nothing she can do. She hobbles off to the ladies’ room.

Katie’s mom thinks Lisa, and Lisa says she’s proud of Katie. Lisa asks when the babies are coming, and then says, one step at a time. Open the bar, then they can make a baby on the bar, which Mrs. Katie’s Mom finds hysterically funny.

Schwartz says for his standards, his footwear tonight is upscale. Everyone is impressed that he’s wearing shoes at all. They talk about the upcoming progress party. In her interview, Ariana says when they talk about the bar, they go into their own little world. Tom asks Ariana how the day with Lisa went, and she says they need to prioritize the cocktail book. In his interview, Tom says it’s not like Ariana has been super productive. She could do a lot without him. Dude, you are the one who wanted in. Should you do no work? She says she could have finished if he hadn’t wanted to be a part of it.

Jax eats whatever he can get his hands on. He’s fed up, bummed out, and it’s all the more reason for a fresh start. He’d like to see Kelsey, but she’s in Africa, so he’s lost. We see a clip of her telling him the reason he’s being mean is because he doesn’t want to be one to walk away. Brittany deserves his truth, so she can find the person who will treat her like a princess, the way she deserves. He says he’s trying to be better person, but Brittany wants a lot – to be married and have children – and he’s not sure he can give her that. I’m totally sure he can’t, but I don’t think she wants “a lot.”

Stassi sits with Brittany. She tells Brittany that everyone who knows her would say she deserves the best man, yet she’s chosen the one they all think is the worst. She wants Brittany to recognize her worth. Brittany says Stassi isn’t with her every day and doesn’t see their relationship. In her interview, Brittany says it’s hard to explain. Jax is her best friend, and it’s hard for people to understand, but she can’t turn it off. Stassi asks what if she’s wasting her best years. She hopes she’s not, and Stassi says she worries about it. She’s in a relationship that goes up and down. Brittany says even if it doesn’t work out, she’ll know she gave it her all. Stassi says if Brittany ends up marrying Jax, she doesn’t think she’s capable of attending the wedding.

Patrick visits Stassi. Did he shake that man bun? I probably won’t dislike him any less, but at least I’ll be able to look at him. He asks about the event, and Stassi says she’s tooting her own horn. She’s good at it. She likes to decorate things, but finds the clerical stuff a drag. Patrick says she just wants the credit for it. She tells him that they need to figure out how to be consistent in their relationship. She’s sorry she didn’t text him in Mexico, and he tells her to stop making it about her, when it’s not that big. She takes small things and slights, and turns them into major battles. Then she turns wars into battles. Stassi corrects him, saying it’s battles into wars, and he’s like, whatever. He says they’re four years in. They’re different people, and they need to find a happy medium.

Schwartz tells Katie that he and Tom stopped by the bar. She asks if it’s the semblance of a bar, and he says the progress is surprising. He says it’s their best year yet. In his interview, he says for once, he can imagine a future. A house in the hills, killing it at the restaurant, kids, dogs, and maybe a llama. Katie finds a bone in the fish they’re eating, and Schwartz tells her about choking on the plastic wrap, when he was over-eager to eat something as a child. She’s afraid to have children with him.

Katie feels like she’s come a long way. She talks about her depression from PTSD after falling through a skylight. We see a clip of her, vlogging about being in the hospital. She tells Schwartz that before the accident, she was positive and confident, but afterwards, something happened. She’d get angry and cause problems. Schwartz says people thought she was bad, but didn’t realize how close to death she came. She says it’s taken almost a decade, but she’s never felt more herself. She tells him it feels good, and starts to cry. In his interview, Schwartz says Katie has been through a lot, but finally grew into the awesome person he knew she could become. He tells her that they got through it, and they dance their wedding dance. It’s interspersed with clips from them dancing it at the wedding.

Jax brings home coffee. Brittany asks how he feels, and he says unhappy and has been it’s hard for him. Oh, boo-effing-hoo. Brittany says he’s making her feel like sh*t, but he says it has nothing to do with her. He needs to make changes. She deserves to be happy, get married, have kids, and be treated like a princess, but he’s not that person. She asks what he’s saying. He tells her that he’s not good in relationships. She deserves better.

Let me stop for a moment here. When I was young, single, and rocking NYC, I dated a lot. If I had to pick one piece of advice, it would be if a man says he’s not good enough for you, he’s not. Run. Now.

Jax tells her that she deserves better, and he doesn’t think they can be together anymore. She doesn’t get where this is coming from. He says he doesn’t like who is, but it’s not because of her. She wants to know how he can do this, when she’s been through so much. She says she’s trying to help him, but he says what he did is wrong, and he effed up. She asks why he let her try – that’s what I say – and he says he wanted it to be fine, but it would be fine one day, then crazy the next. Jax says he needs to be by himself, and Brittany tells him to get out. How dare he put her through all this sh*t, and now act like he’s the one who gave his all? After everything she’s been though, to break up is bullsh*t. She doesn’t want to look at him anymore, and tells him to get out. She says after all the heartbreak, he’s going to pull this sh*t? Get out! In her interview, Brittany says she tried to stand by his side no matter what. Now he wants to throw it away. Seriously, you’re young. You’ll recover. She says she can’t look at him. She’s leaving. He says this isn’t what he wanted. She says he did, and calls him a dumbass, and slams the door on her way out. In her interview, she says he’s done a million horrible things to her, and he’s not going to change. He’ll always be the same Jax. Jax says he sucks in a relationship. He calls to her from the apartment balcony, but she gets into a car, and leaves. Jax wonders where she’s going. He respects that she stuck around and tried to make work, but he’s tired of seeing her upset and sad. It’s time to throw in the towel. I’d like to throw a wet towel at Jax’s head.

Spoiler alert – to date, it looks like they’re still together. While Brittany continues to say that it’s nobody’s business but her own – which is totally true, but you’re on a reality show, so you made it my business – she says people don’t know Jax’s other side. Unless Jax is totally making this up for TV, I don’t care what else goes on. If that’s his persona when the cameras are rolling, he’s still a repulsive person.

Next time, Jax goes to therapy, Brittany rethinks Adam, and Lala is terrified.

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