Monthly Archives: August 2015

August 30, 2015 — Dating Cait, Dead People & a Train

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

I Am Cait

I don’t blame Cait for being apprehensive about dating. Any woman getting thrown back into the dating pool at 65 would be scared. Unless you’re Tina Turner or some other mega-fabulous being. Cait and friends go to a club where gorgeous guys are pole dancing and dollar bills are being thrown around. Poor Cait is so uncomfortable, it reminds me of Benjamin’s date with Elaine in The Graduate.

Quote of the episode – Cait referring to the club: “In The Abbey they’re all packin’.”

Um…just because Cait is uncomfortable with the strippers doesn’t have anything to do with her liking/not liking men. Seriously, Jenny? Jenny can be pretty astute though, pointing out that Cait has always escaped her problems through work. IMO, it’s better than escaping through drugs. At least you make money rather than spend it. Cait suggests that being with a man might make a transgender woman feel like “a real woman.” When Jenny asks what she means by that, she says “any other woman you see on the street.” Jenny then gives her the advice we should all heed, that Cait is “normal” right now and a woman doesn’t need a man to validate her and make her a woman. I’m sure there’s a country song in here somewhere. Welcome to my world Cait.

What was interesting is that Jenny also said Cait has too much work on the brain. Wasn’t she the same person who suggested Cait be a one-woman educator for the masses? I’m glad she’s come to see that Cait does care about the rest of the world and not just what’s in her shoe closet.

One of the sadder things brought up tonight is how often transgender women are made to think they’re only good for one thing once their transgender status has been revealed. That men will romance them until they find out, and after that’re reduced to late night booty calls. The words that have been hanging silently in the air throughout the series are finally given a voice. Maybe Cait should date Candis. I think she should. Candis is the whole package. I’d date Candis.

Cait tells Candis that the worst thing is to not have hope for the future. I totally agree. Lots of pearls of wisdom tonight.

Fear the Walking Dead

Who is this kid with the acne – in other words, the 30-year-old they’re trying to get us to believe is in high school – who keeps skulking around and obviously knows something? Ok, now he’s talking. Conspiracy theories and how when society crashes, it’s like Lord of the Flies. He’s also gotten the knife back that Madison confiscated from him in the first episode. Except a pocket knife against a zombie is hardly going to be effective, especially a fresh zombie. The knife’s metal is quickly tested on Principal Artie and Tobias (the acne-faced kid) has a hard time getting it through Artie’s thick skull.

Curtis and his ex are looking for their other son who is not Nick. He’s at some kind of protest where things are about to get out of hand. Everything is getting dicey with dead people coming back to life and of course the looters are busy. It’s nice to know that some things never change. A tragedy has happened? Quick! Let’s steal some TVs! The three hole up in a barber shop. As it gets even creepier outside, there is no way Travis can leave to meet Madison, the plan having been to leave Los Angeles together. Madison is at home with Nick & her daughter, Alicia. Things are not going well outside there either.

Will Travis be able to get away to meet Madison? Will Madison be able to get away to meet Travis? Why is it 2 weeks until the next episode?

Snowpiercer   (WARNING: SPOILERS)

Just to prove I don’t just watch schlock, let’s talk movies. I caught Snowpiercer on Showtime over the weekend. It was so good, even though I was at home, I didn’t even want to get up to go to the bathroom.

Giving a Reader’s Digest Condensed version of the plot, in trying to fix global warming, a huge miscalculation has been made and brings on another ice age, killing all life. Apparently, however, there was some warning, because the survivors are now bound for nowhere on a gigantic train. The train (the number of cars never talked about, but in the graphic novel, it’s 1000+) is a microcosm of society, with the elite being in the front cars, and the dregs of humanity in the back. Kind of like your everyday flight on a major airline. It’s a nightmare living in the back – they’ve been on the train for 17 years now – so it’s time for a revolution.

As the group of rebels goes forward through the train, I was reminded of The Warriors (1979), where a gang has to get back to their home turf, fighting various rivals (in various costumes and makeup!) as they make their way through New York City. Snowpiercer is very detail oriented, and I was fascinated with the different cars and the different groups of people.

There are lots of great fight scenes, which made me wonder if those In the tail section (or “the shoe” as Tilda Swinton reminds them, while the people in the front section are “the hat”) had been watching Ninja movies and doing strength training all those years, since they have extreme fighting down to a science. There is also a very weird break In the action because the new year arrives.

A lot of the characters are weird, although I guess I’d be weird too, if I was riding a train for 17 years. I hate being in the car for more than two hours. Tilda Swinton is remarkable as Minister Mason, a somewhat androgynous second in command, chewing the scenery, using words like “hooliganism,” and spewing forth great lines, such as, “You suffer from the misplaced optimism of the doomed.”

One of my favorite scenes was in the aquarium section (an absolutely gorgeous set!) where sushi is also served twice a year, and It just so happens that this is one of the times. As the insurgents prepare to dig in, leader Curtis stops Mason from eating, handing her one of the protein bars that the rear cars have been eating for years. No doubt she knows what it’s made out of – insects – something Curtis and crew discovered along the way. Although truthfully, that’s supposed to be one of the best sources of protein. I know. You eat it then.

The train itself reminded me of Coney Island’s rickety wooden roller coaster, Cyclone, the scary way it bounced along the tracks at breakneck speed. None of the parts are getting any younger either, and when she blows, it’s a phenomenal scene. Somehow, I missed this in the theater. It’s a shame because it’s just the kind of film I like to see at the movies. Lots of special effects and blowing things up. It makes me feel like I’m getting my money’s worth, since it costs as much as a cruise for a ticket now. Thank God for the dollar store, so I don’t have to take out a second mortgage to get candy.

I can understand why, at the end, Curtis doesn’t want the job of overseeing humanity. My first job in NYC was with a place that took ticket orders for shows before TicketMaster was born. I was a supervisor for a while and I hated it. I didn’t want to tell other adults when they were allowed to have a bathroom break. So I know how you feel, Curtis.

The story was taken from a graphic novel, but I wish it was a “real” book because I have a few questions. The most pressing of which concerns a polar bear seen at the end of the film. If the earth had was uninhabitable, and all life dead (we saw this to be true looking out the windows throughout the film), where did it come from? It can’t be evolution, because there was nothing to evolve from except snow. Did God put it there? Did it fall out of the train? Will it eat those kids who survived?

Snowpiercer made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me watch it a second time. It was one of those movies where afterward, you don’t want to watch anything else, because you know it will pale in comparison.

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August 28, 2015 – GH & Bravo Bits

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 Ok, so I’m late.

The People’s Couch

A true dream job, being filmed watching TV with your friends and getting paid for it. What the blip happened to that show? It was so funny and I was starting to feel like I knew those people. Now they don’t call, they don’t write…

Friday’s General Hospital

Ok. Let’s take an informal poll. Who hasn’t been a visitor at the jail yet? Silas. Oh, that’s right, he’s dead. It was good of Morgan to break up with Ava “face to face,” but I’m not applauding too hard, since what was he going to do? Send her a text? Call her? Although they probably all have cell phones in that jail too.

All right, I’ll go see The Perfect Guy if they stop showing the commercial every 5 minutes. Isn’t there something they can do to rotate this stuff better? One time, a friend and I were watching The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, one of those hysterically funny because it’s bad horror films, and they showed the exact same commercials every single break through the entire movie. We almost called the station. It reminded me of the time another friend accidentally put a subway token in a bar jukebox and it played the flip side of what she’d selected (Cherchez la Femme) over and over and over, until another patron finally walked over and gave the jukebox a serious kick. Every time the song was done playing, we would stop talking, look at each other and wait. Then it would come on again and we would die laughing.

Back at the ranch Port Charles, Julian is proving that he’s totally useless. Um…once again being picky, but I’ve seen enough court shows to know that they don’t allow litigants to wander around the courtroom (Nina and several other people). This is one free-for-all of a town. I’m trying to figure out what Rick’s motive to kill Silas would be. I’m assuming, if this is the case, Silas knew about the plot to get Nina’s money, but how would Nathan come up with that? I’m waiting for Dillon to say, “I know! Let’s build a stage in the barn and put on a show!”

Oh yeah, Morgan, you need some medication — stat! Normally I wouldn’t say this, but listen to your father. Morgan makes me nervous just watching him. Sonny just said if he doesn’t take his meds, he turns into a wrecking ball who hurts everyone he loves. I’m not sure he’s the greatest example, since he’s not much better when he’s on the medication. Hey, how’d Rick the weasel get sprung? And isn’t there some kind of conflict of interest here? Not that it’s ever stopped anyone before. Too bad this is network daytime. I would have liked to see Nina give Madeline and Rick the finger on her way out of the courtroom.

Where’s young Spencer these days? He’s one of the few children I really love watching. Unlike those kids who are obviously just looking for their cues, he’s actually talented. I predict a great future in show biz for him, or at least in sales.

And I don’t know about you, but why would any woman want to have a relationship with a guy who’d hooked up with her mother? Ewww! I would never be able to get that mental picture out of my mind. Although Morgan’s haircut is now getting to the point where I want to rub his fuzzy head.

Oh ho! Now Madeline is on the suspect list. Did everyone come to visit Silas that day? Might as well throw in Alice.

Random Bravo-ity

I was flipping around here, since my town was being shown on What Would You Do? at the same time.  Tonight, Bravo had a bunch of half hour bits to promote their Real Housewives Awards, with categories like Best Supporting Agitator and Realest Reconciliation. This is a better ploy to milk the shows than saying it’s “lost footage.” I’m glad they stopped with that. “Lost” makes it sound like either they’re imbeciles who can’t keep track of their work or they think I’m stupid because I believe they suddenly found something attached to what we just saw.

While there was a little extra we hadn’t seen before, it was mostly classic clips, like The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s therapy session. I guess Nene thought Dr. Jeff was going to put her on some kind of pedestal and absolve her of all wrongdoing, and when that didn’t happen, she ran. I almost need therapy after watching her all season. She’s a true example of fame going to your head. Man, she got mean! Was her tagline really, “Why be so nasty and so rude, when I can be so fierce and so successful?” What happened? Someone send her a dictionary so she can understand what she said.

Rosie from the Jersey Wives! I love Rosie! Give her all the awards!

If they had an award for Stupidest Housewife, it would probably go to Portia. I don’t even know any children who think the Underground Railroad is an actual railroad. And her grandfather is the late civil rights activist, Hosea Williams. Not only was she not paying attention in school, she wasn’t paying attention at home either. And of course there was that reunion incident with Kenya. Stupid and violent is not a good look.

I never thought I’d see Kenya Moore become the voice of reason, so maybe I haven’t seen it all. You sort of form relationships with these people (albeit from a distance) after watching them for years, and I was proud of Kenya when she stopped playing to the camera so much, and started acting like a real human being. She was truly “Gone with the Wind fabulous” this season.  I was glad to that she got past that Apollo nonsense with Phaedra too…sort of. Although Kenya was out of line in the beginning, flirting with Apollo at the pool, she honestly doesn’t strike me as the type to go after another woman’s husband. Although I wouldn’t trust Apollo as far as I could throw him. As a result, Phaedra seemed to latch onto Kenya as a receptacle for her problems with Apollo. But we all know where he ended up.

And it ain’t the jail in Port Charles.

August 27, 2015 — GH, NYC & Real Time TV

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Love Carly’s lowlights! I see everyone is wandering around the jail unattended now.  If I ever decide to commit a crime, I’m doing it in Port Charles.  I actually like Ava.  I barely even remember Connie Falconeri, so who cares? I thought Sonny was pretty nasty to Ava regarding Avery too. Did he make that baby all by himself? One thing I do remember is that scene in the mausoleum, and he was definitely on board (and on a few other things) there.

As you already know, I’m more about the action stuff than the romantic stuff, but I do think Nathan and Maxi are super cute(not to be confused with Hello Kitty). Whatever happened to “super couples” anyway? I’m still disappointed over Luke and Tracy parting ways. I really liked them together. Dammit, Tony Geary! You ruined everything and shattered all my dreams.

Lots of exposition today.  Did they get an influx of new viewers?  I know all this; let’s move on.

I’m hoping Wile E. Coyote makes a jail appearance and drops an anvil from ACME on Morgan’s head. He’s soooo whiny. But I’m getting the feeling not a whole lot is going to happen today. Yeah, it’s Thursday. …zzzzzz…..

William DeVry is really a good actor, but I’ve never been able get into Julian in any way, shape or form. Not even when he’s doing push-ups.

Since not much is happening, here’s a story.

Many years ago, there was a fantasy camp called Daytime Encounters in Manhattan.  You spent the day with several soap actors and other people in the business.  They did Q&A panels, but even better, you got to work with them.  There was a soap scene written for the event, they had auditions for the parts, provided lunch, and had a hair and makeup team to get you ready. After the scene was filmed, everyone watched it and got a copy. Since I went to acting school and had dabbled in a few show bizzy things, this sounded like a lot of fun. I checked out their website, and unfortunately, it cost a bundle. Somewhere around 500 bucks. So I signed up for future information, just in case I won LOTTO.

Maybe about 6 months later, I got an email from the Fine Living Network (which I don’t think exists anymore). They told me that if I’d allow them to interview me for a show called Fantasy Camps, they’d pay my way to the event. This time, Daytime Encounters would be using actors from One Life To Live, which had always been my favorite of the soaps. They didn’t have to ask twice.

The night before, a cameraman and sound guy came out to my house for an at home interview. They knew I’d once done some acting and asked me if I had any scrapbooks (of course!) and wanted to film me looking at them. I seriously hoped I wouldn’t come off like Miss Havisham, covered in cobwebs, still waiting for the right part to come along after 30 years. At the time we had three dogs – a Golden Retriever (the totally misnamed Einstein), a German Shepherd (Madison) and a Pekingese (Juliet). My husband had taken them outside so they wouldn’t disrupt things, but the cameraman thought it would be cool to include them. This is it! I thought. Juliet’s chance to be my shining star. She was (and still is) the smartest and funniest dog I know, and I was sure she’d be amazing on camera.

Well, you know how pets can make a liar out of you. The two big dogs just stood there, acting like they’d never seen toys, sticks, or even people before, while Juliet barked incessantly at the cameraman. “Pick her up and give her a kiss,” the cameraman said. I did, and she tried to bite me on the nose. Some best friend and some shining star. Through the magic of editing, somehow it didn’t end up looking like the fiasco it was.

HA…HA…HA!  Something finally happened. Rick the weasel has been arrested for Silas’s murder. Huh. I hadn’t even considered him.

The event was fantastic and I learned quite a bit about the soap world, especially from Ilene Kristen, who pulled no punches in telling us what a nightmare it could be. There were about 20-25 “civilian” participants, with 3 of us being there on Fine Living’s dime. Throughout the day, they would pull us aside for mini-interviews, asking us various questions regarding our interest in soaps and how we were feeling about what was going on. I didn’t get a huge part in the scene (that seemed to be reserved for those who had done this before), but it was a funny one, and I managed to milk it for all it was worth. I must have done something right with the interviews too, because when I got a copy of the show later, it looked like I was the only one interviewed. It was an exhausting day – at one point, I swear I wanted to say “No more pictures! Please!” – but an experience I’ll never forget. And won’t have to, since I have the tapes. It also set me on the straight and narrow with my eating plan, since I saw the tapes.

Oooh, what “truth” is Franco going to reveal?

The Real Housewives of New York

Ha! They tried to fool me by sticking in another episode on a Thursday, but since I’ve been out-of-sync with the day of the week all week, I checked the guide early.

Backing up for just a moment. It’s no wonder Bethenny’s boob fell out of her dress when Sonja told her about spitting out her tooth. She was pulling and tugging at that dress all night. Please. You can afford to buy something that fits and is both stylish and comfortable.

While I too, wondered for a long time if Sonja’s collection would ever materialize, and I understand the skepticism of the ladies, Heather hasn’t exactly been the support system she claims to have been. All of the Wives always think we have short term memory loss and none of this is on film. What sticks out in my mind was how she asked Sonja if her clothing was going to be sold in K-Mart. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with K-Mart (well, there’s something wrong with my K-Mart, but it has nothing to do with the merchandise). It has a lot of fine brands like Martha Stewart, but in this instance, I thought it was a put-down. Heather, you know damn well that Sonja Morgan, of the Whatever Morgans she says she’s from, is not going to sell her clothing line in K-Mart and she’s going to find that remark insulting. You’ve been on this show for a couple of seasons now.

I wouldn’t go anywhere without Dorina. I like Dorinda. Even if she does get overly sensitive when she’s had too many martinis. That was a great episode when she took the trip to England with Carole. I like Carole a lot too.

WAKE UP, RAMONA! No, really, she fell asleep. Can’t say as I blame her. I’ve heard these reunions are a 12-hour day that starts very early. It must feel weird to wear a ball gown first thing in the morning.

Make a note: The 100th episode special is on September 17th.

The burning issue of the season, or at least Turks and Caicos: the naked man incident or what is girl code cool? I totally understand the point of not leaving strangers wander around a house full of your friends and their belongings. (Apparently, there was staff at the house though, which hadn’t occurred to me before.) No one wants to wake up as a headline. However, Heather totally overreacted. I’ve done it myself, once screaming at a neighbor/friend who left their key in my mailbox and failed to tell me. I get safety and security, but it wasn’t necessary to bounce LuAnn out of bed after the fact, especially since Ramona played innocent and sent her there. Really? You believe something that woman has to say? It did give the Countess the quote of the season, as well as a chance to show off her slammin’ body. I don’t get this girl code business either. A lot of rules must have been added since I was single. Back in my day (gather ‘round as I sit in my rocker), girl code basically meant that you didn’t date a friend’s ex or move in on the man she already had her eye on. Ah, for simpler times.

Travel advice from Princess Carole: Do not leave your luggage, or your men, unattended.

Oh man, they are still arguing about this. Aww, they’re hugging and making up now. Applause all around. Now everyone is hugging. Is the show over?

Nope. Andy is back, patting everyone on the back for acting like adults. Somewhat.

Heather has just redeemed herself by saying 50 isn’t old.

See ya next time, girls!

I’m looking forward to Ladies of London, if only to stop seeing the commercial. I love Fergie, but I’m tired of the earworm that is “London Bridge.”

Real Time TV

Not sure what I’ll talk about over the weekend – although I’m sure I’ll think of something – since there’s never anything on TV. Do they think everyone has a life? I just don’t understand why they can’t spread the wealth instead of saving it all for Sunday night. Remember when the most exciting thing on Sunday night was 60 Minutes? I haven’t worked in an office for over 20 years, but I still get a knot in my stomach when I hear that clock ticking, because, Monday morning.  Sunday night periodically becomes the cluster of shows I have to untangle, and figure out how to watch all of them. Then, the nerve, they have to stick in a season of Once Upon A Time occasionally to really make it complicated. As it’s on ABC, it has to be watched in real time because they only show it once. Or DVR’d, meaning it will fall into the black hole never to be seen again. I do sometimes use On Demand. It’s come in really handy when there’s a regular network show I want to see, like Zoo, which I’m embarrassed to say is trumped on Tuesday by whichever Wives are on.

So just remember – be cool.

August 26, 2015 — GH, LA & Too Many Cooks Spoiling the Pasta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

The Haves & the Have Nots

For some reason, I thought yesterday was Monday and forgot to watch it. Once again, those reruns came in handy.

I love me some Tyler Perry drama! I’ve always been a fan of him as a person, but sitcoms and Medea just aren’t my thing. When he created this show, I could tell by the previews it was up my alley. If you like the old nighttime dramas like Dallas and Dynasty, and you’re not watching this (and its counterpart, If Loving You is Wrong) you’re missing out. It’s basically about a rich guy named Jim Cryer (John Schneider, a long way from Dukes of Hazzard) who is running for governor, and trying to run away from his problems. The show hit the ground running, with married Jim being blackmailed by escort Candace, who is also the daughter of one of his maids, Hanna, and friends with his own daughter. Hilarity intense drama ensues.

My favorite character is Veronica, the wife of Jim’s business partner, David, who’s also involved in Jim’s campaign. And she ain’t like Archie’s Veronica. She’s probably about the most evil character in a soap ever. And Angela Robinson plays the hell out of the part. Veronica is under the misconceived impression that she can force her gay son to be straight, but since ruining his life isn’t enough, she ends up burning down the house with David in it. I told you this was a fun show!

This week, while Jim is being interviewed live on television, he’s hit with the bombshell that one of the other maids, Celine, has had two sons by him. DUN-DUN-DUUUN!!!

General Hospital

Oooh, first commercial is for Oreo Thins. I seriously want to try those.

Morgan needs to confess to something soon before he gives himself a heart attack. Besides, going to jail isn’t too bad in Port Charles. Pretty soon, the guards will be taking McDonald’s orders from the prisoners. And here comes Sonny – known mob boss – allowed to visit whoever he pleases, unattended. While I’ve never been in jail, I don’t think it works that way. I am so glad that it’s finally dawning on Nina that she only hears that baby crying when Rick the weasel or Madelyn are around. That’s been bugging me for a while. Where’s that cry coming from? Oh, your phone. Case closed.

I understand that it’s just a show, but they could try just a little bit to make it believable. I can’t wait for them to drag Rick and Madelyn off to the country club jail.

I’m not sure what Kiki (or Ava) see in that cranky Morgan anyway, especially since he got that haircut. That’s when I remember who Kiki is. Why they had to make her so blond after Kristen Alderson left is beyond me. Like that whole character switcheroo thing wasn’t difficult enough. I’d just finally stopped thinking Kiki was Starr. I did love her final scene with Roger Howarth though. She pretty much grew up with him as her second father, so it must have been heart-wrenching for both of them. It was sweet how the dialogue wasn’t just about Franco and Kiki, but about the real actors.

Nathan, I don’t think Dante is the best guy to be helping you solve anything. His decision making skills have been pretty poor lately.

Oh, that’s a good one Sonny. You always put your children first? When did that happen?

MasterChef

Let me confess now. I hate to cook, but I love watching cooking shows. It’s not that I’m a bad cook – ask anyone who’s had my lasagna – and it’s not that I can’t be creative in the kitchen – ditto – but I’m an impatient cook (when I want to eat, I want to eat now, not 2 hours from now) who’s always had a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. Other than a one semester home ec class in 8th grade, I’m fairly uneducated in this department as well. When Gordon Ramsey says, “You tell me,” I have no clue. As we always say, my husband didn’t marry me for my cooking in the kitchen. For some reason though, I like to watch other people cook. And of course there’s the food porn aspect.

I’m not sure what’s up with risotto, but it seems to be very telling as far as cooking goes. I can’t count the times I’ve heard Gordon go insane about it.

I stink with names, so I’m glad the contestants have theirs on their aprons. I wish Survivor would do the same. As a matter-of-fact, I wish everyone would go around wearing name tags. It would make life far less embarrassing for me.

If tuna tartar is involved, I’m in. I never said my palate was uneducated.

It’s a blue team (Derrick)/red team (Stephen) thing tonight. The red team wins, so Derrick, Katrina and Hetel have to face tonight’s pressure test – 3 pasta dishes in one hour. “Impossible,” says Nick. The dishes are manicotti, scallops and clams with pasta, and egg yolk ravioli, which I’ve never heard of, but sounds really good.

OMG – one of the clams just moved! I’ve cooked them several times, but thank God they’ve stayed still. I admit to being squeamish about certain food items. One time, I bought what I thought was a nice square of frozen fish. The instructions said to soak it in water before cooking. When I did, the tail that had been heretofore stuck hidden to the underside, unfurled. I had to throw it out.

Katrina is “sweating biscuits?” Did I hear that right? At least she lost the hair bow this week. Today she has some sparkly thing on her head.

Why is the guy on the Bud Lite commercial trying to channel Will Ferrell? Was Will not available?

I love how Graham Elliot holds the scallop up like it’s a diamond.  Ooh, Gordon just said Derrick’s garnish was like eating an air freshener. Not exactly a compliment. Katrina put ricotta in the ravioli and apparently this is a really bad thing. Hetel’s ravioli looks good to me, and ground pepper always gets my vote, but Gordon said it was “heresy.” No one is looking good here. Hetel’s out. She kind of flew under the radar anyway. Being a vegetarian, it was rough for her. I don’t know how you can cook something without tasting it at some point either. Although it’s to her credit that she’s gotten this far.

Geez, could they spare the vegetables in the spring onion rice noodle soup bowl I’m having for dinner?

Little Women LA

Brittney has a new boyfriend and Tonya’s talking about moving in with her boyfriend, John, and is also wearing some amazing earrings. Too bad John doesn’t exactly feel the same way. He’s obviously not the husband material you want, Tonya. Move on. Ha-ha! Terra is talking about how nice it would be if everyone got along. This is reality TV, so not bloody likely. Lots of goings on in the romance department tonight. Briana’s boyfriend, Matt, is moving in with her. This dude has been a bone of contention since he came on the scene – with both her family and her friends. My jury is out about him. I’m hearing the same stories they are, but so far he’s been on good behavior.

Ugh! What a shame that Christy allowed her mother to influence her decision about the IVF. I’m not saying she should or shouldn’t do it, but it’s obvious that mean old woman was huge factor here. The ending is happy though. Christy and Todd make the decision to go for artificial insemination while picking strawberries next to a field of sunflowers. Nice!

Beach party! Elena is so gorgeous, I can never take my eyes off of her when she’s on screen. She’s also insecure about her appearance, so what hope is there for the rest of us? The last time they had a bonfire on the beach, the outcome was not positive. Already there’s tension between Elena and Brittney, and Tonya and Jasmine, and Matt and everyone. Same sh*t, different day. Time to roast marshmallows.

“Short arms, short sticks, someone’s weave is definitely going up in flames tonight. I’m glad I’m no longer packing.” Terra cracks me up!

Brittney’s sparkly purple eye shadow is really distracting!

Ha! For a moment there, I thought we were ending on a good note. Brittney confessed to being an idiot and Elena was okay with it. But Jasmine brings up the “other elephant in the room,” Tonya. Wait, that didn’t sound right. She wants to know what the blip Tonya’s annoyed about (and so do I), but instead it ends up being a rehash of the last argument about the same vague thing. That didn’t even make sense to me and I wrote it.

Terra’s Little Family

Someone please explain why, instead of an hour long episode, Lifetime decided to show two back-to-back half hour episodes? Anybody? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

I would laugh uncontrollably at Terra’s hair the morning after her bachelorette party, but I’m sure mine looks no better the morning after the night before.  Terra is going to check out the bridesmaids’ dresses for the first time, their only instructions having been to get beige dresses and cobalt blue shoes, which looks better than it sounds. Not an easy task to critique their choices with a hangover though. Elena says it will be like “50 shades of beige.”

Joe had to jet the day before for a gig (he’s a drummer) and missed the rehearsal, but swore he’d be back in time for the pre-wedding dinner. No surprise his plane is late. If this was Bravo, I’d say Andy Cohen probably threw his body in front of the plane.  Her mom still hasn’t gotten there either.

Whew! They both make it and the yacht sets sail for the dinner. Interesting note: Terra’s mom is one of those crazy cat ladies that you always hear about. She’s like an old hippie and really cool. Unlike Christy’s mom.

The earrings on this show are just fabulous!

Terra says Joe is like her missing puzzle piece. So much better than “you complete me” or “my soulmate.” These two are just precious!  We’re on shaky ground by the end of the episode, with Terra being a bit of a Bridezilla to Joe, but I have no doubt they’ll make up since they’re both at the wedding in the previews.

August 25, 2015 — PC, NYC, a Ship at Sea & Some Maids

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Devious Maids

It’s not that I don’t have a DVR, but I prefer to watch shows in real time, so I watched this at midnight last night. My DVR fear is that if I start recording things, it will end up like the black hole that was once my VHS tape collection. I already have General Hospital episodes that are 2 years old on there.

Kind of like Murder She Wrote, but grislier with a more youthful vibe, I really like this show. One of the reasons is the friendship between the women. While they have their ups and downs, they always come together to support one another. Although I liked it at the beginning, I drifted away from Desperate Housewives before the series ended. Maybe that’s why. The women were just too cruel to each other.

I know, I know. Says the one who’s addicted to The Real Housewives.

Not that I thought she would ever have trouble finding work, it’s great to see Susan Lucci back on the small screen. She’s a natural in the role of Genevieve, whose over-the-topness is not too far from Erica Kane, who, if you remember, once shouted down a bear. I loved seeing her paired with John O’Hurley, and was sorry that he only stuck around for a few episodes. Johnny, we hardly knew ye.

Right now, since it’s the finale, all the murders have been confessed to and they’ve blown the place up in cliffhanger fashion. I hope I don’t have to wait too long for the next season. The last time, it was so long, I practically forgot what the show was about. I long for the old days of a September to May season, with summer reruns and the occasional new show in the off-time. Now, it seems like they use a dart board to decide on air dates. Seasons could be at any time of the year, or split in half to get more play, with sometimes an entire year in between. (Thanks, Mad Men!) I am, however, grateful for the repeat episodes. There was a time when they were annoying, but with all the great TV to choose from, it’s made it easier to catch everything.

General Hospital

I managed to tear myself away from BRAVO’s Below Deck marathon. Can’t wait for the new season starting tonight! Since it comes on after The Real Housewives of New Yorkpart 2 of the reunion –my head could very well explode.

Glad to see Tracy today – another one of my favorites! Jane Elliot has it right too, with the way she’s keeping it real as she ages. She looks good and she looks like herself. Now that we all know that Denise is really Ava, I’ll miss Denise. She was a load of fun! I hope Ava keeps Denise’s dark hair – it looks absolutely stunning with her light eyes. You might think me superficial, commenting on a character or actor’s appearance, but these are some of the thoughts that go through my head as I watch. Don’t tell me you don’t have them too. If you’re looking for a real recap, go to the site for the show. Or Vulture. I love their recaps; they often make me literally LOL. That’s right. This Macy’s Santa is sending you to Gimbel’s if they have what you want and I don’t. But, my friends do say they enjoy watching TV with me.

Roger Howarth (now known as Franco) has been my favorite soap actor ever since he came on the One Life to Live scene. Apparently, a lot of fans felt that way, since his character was originally supposed to have a limited run, and Todd ended up running all the way to Port Charles many years later, even though ABC made a mess of the crossover. One of my fondest soap memories was Todd stalking blind Nora. It was Christmastime and I’d just brought a neighbor’s dog back from our daily walk. She had a huge box of chocolate truffles on the coffee table (my neighbor, not the dog), and had told me to help myself. (She was a literal size 0 and only drank half a can of soda at a time, so who was I not to help her here?) I put the TV on, and actually ate some bonbons while I was watching a soap. I thought, it doesn’t get any better than this.

Moving on. For a place that’s rife with criminals, Port Charles certainly has a lax jail system, along with keeping both men and women in the same holding area. Come to think of it, the hospital isn’t exactly on top of security either. Remind me never to get sick there if someone is trying to murder me.

That’s right, Morgan. It doesn’t matter that Denise is really Ava. It doesn’t make you any less of a cheater. So please quit whining.

The Real Housewives of New York

Having lived a good portion of my life in the city, these girls are high on my must watch list.

Oh, Countess, can you take a clue from Princess Elsa and let it go? Why is she still hanging on to being angry about Carole seeing her niece’s ex? The weirdest thing about this is that the Countess seems to be okay with an older woman and a younger man together if they’re just having sex, but she frowns on them having a relationship. Huh? So now that Carole has been seeing 28-year-old Adam for some time, she’s gotten more annoyed. I even doubt the niece is hanging on this hard. Although the LuAnn does get the prize for the classic line of the decade, “Be cool. Don’t be all like, uncool.” That has to be one of the best things I’ve ever heard on any Wives show ever. I want that on a T-shirt.

WHAT ARE YA DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA? Hahahahaha! I just had to say that.

I go back and forth with Sonja. On one hand, I adore her. She lives the way she wants to, and often reminds me of one of the Edies (Beale) in her eccentric way of presenting herself. On the other hand, I can understand the frustration of the other ladies in dealing with her. In some ways, she lives in another time, and she has to get it through her head that it’s a bad idea for a woman alone to get blackout drunk at a bar. Please, stop doing that before something bad happens. I was proud of her for finally getting her clothing collection off the ground though. For getting anything off the ground actually. And the clothes are gorgeous. Brava, Sonja! Now about that toaster oven….

I’ve met Kristen and although underused on the show, she’s a lovely person. She’s one of those people who, when you talk to her, make you feel like you’re the most important person in the room. I don’t think Bethenny has always given her a fair shake, and I also don’t believe that printed quotes are always accurate. (Really, Bethenny? Did you really say they were? SMH) Throughout the season, we saw Kristen struggle with her husband, Josh, over priorities, as his seemed to be more about work than family. I was very sad to hear he was one of those outed in the Ashley Madison data breach. I sincerely hope they’re able to work it out. He’s another husband I’m not crazy about, but I didn’t marry him and I hate to see her hurt.

Now we finally get to the Ramona dirt. Well, really the Mario dirt. As much as I dislike her – another pot stirrer who thinks saying “I’m sorry” makes everything all right – I wouldn’t wish a cheating spouse on anyone. And no woman should have to see the other woman in their kitchen. At first, it seemed like we were seeing a different Ramona this season, but it didn’t take long before her evil twin came back in full force. And hey, if you don’t want that gorgeous guy just because he’s a bartender (news flash: that’s not an awful career), I have plenty of single friends who will take him.

This is hysterical. The saga of the dress Ramona swiped from Bethenny. Apparently, she was given an expensive piece (Halston Heritage) to wear on Bethenny’s show and walked off with it. Despite many attempts to get it back, including giving her another pricey dress in the hopes of a trade, Ramona has managed to dodge the return. Now she claims she shouldn’t have to since Bethenny’s show was canceled. Ramona. It. Does. Not. Belong. To. You.

Why is Ramona drinking rosé instead of pinot? Did I miss something?

Below Deck

I’m so glad to see this show again! I love it so much. Maybe because I’d like to take up residence on that yacht and sail around for the rest of my life. And I adore Captain Lee. I was sad to see that most of the old crew have been replaced, especially Ben the Australian chef, but it’s TBD if I like this group as much. I’m keeping an open mind.

Chief Stew Kate has returned. I have a love/hate relationship with Kate. What she calls “stoic and professional” can often come off as cold and unfeeling, yet she has a great sense of humor at times. Like last season when one of the primary guests was being a real d*ck and she folded the towel on his bed accordingly. When called on it, she claimed it was a “rocketship,” but we all knew better, and the guest actually redeemed himself by finding it funny and tipping big.

Speaking of asshat guests, during the marathon, I caught my least favorite, Timothy Sykes. An entrepreneur who made a fortune in penny stocks, he was one of the rudest guests ever. Apparently his daughter girlfriend is a fan of “simple foods” (in other words, she has an uneducated palate) and wasn’t too appreciative of Chef Ben’s artistry. Timothy also acted like a big baby over the internet connection not being up to par. While the crew is no stranger to complaints, this idiot took it a step further. When it came time to give the tip, he showed Captain Lee a wad of bills and then dramatically took a quarter of the wad out, citing the above offenses and telling Lee that’s why he was reducing the tip.

Since I’d never heard of this guy before, after seeing him again, I googled him. The first link I saw was to a Tweet he’d just made, saying if anyone was watching Below Deck, it was all editing and he really had a great time. And then some buy-my-crap link. Normally, I avoid Twitter for the most part. The last thing I need is more anti-social social media in my life. I just couldn’t resist though. Unless immediately after his arrogant display with the money, he patted Captain Lee on the back and said, “Just kidding,” while handing him the rest of the tip, I fail to see how editing had anything to do with him being a d-bag. So I told him that. Not that I think he gives a flying, but he did bring it up. And Chef Ben did end up making his daughter girlfriend those casadias, so what was the big deal?

You can see my once-a-year tweet here: http://tinyurl.com/o6jp94q

OMG THE FOOD!!! I’ve never even been on a cruise, but I want to go straight to charter.

The first guests of the season want a “foam party.” One of the crews remarked that they hadn’t heard that since the 90s. I’ve never heard that. And I wasn’t even on drugs in the 90s. The primary guest (the guy who’s footing the bill), Steve, is already rip-roaring drunk and in the “I love all you guys” phase. Hope he doesn’t go into weepy before they get to the foam. Won’t they be slipping in foam? Okay, there are glow sticks involved. Those I know about.

OMG THE FOOD!!!

Oh Lord, Steve says this has been his dream. I’m sorry. This is possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. Now he’s hitting on the 2nd Stew. Yep, we should be getting to weepy or sleepy at any moment.

From the previews, it looks like Chef Ben is coming back.

OMG THE FOOD!!!

My Fab 40th

How can celebrating a 40th birthday be a series? I guess I’ll find out.

Well, we’re halfway through, and I’ll probably stick it out, but…rich people’s problems.

August 24, 2015 — GH, the OC & Some Biermanns

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Nah. It’s not Nina who killed Silas. And it’s not “Breaking News” either – wtf with this interruption? The news comes on at 4, is this really necessary? If our shores are being attacked, please let me know, but don’t tell me about a bus crash/fire/shooting that you don’t even have the details on, that it’s still raining/snowing/sunny out, or give me a traffic report. I can guarantee you, that if I’m watching General Hospital, I’m not on the road.

A bit of Obrecht today. She’s become one of my favorite characters. Kathleen Gati is a wonderful actress, and I’ve especially loved her contributions to the Nurses Ball. My favorites have always been the villains – without whom we’d have no story – especially the ones who have what I call “the twinkle.” It’s that twinkle in the eye that tells you they’re having a great time playing this character, and they want you to come along for the ride. Faison also has the twinkle. A fan favorite, he refuses to die no matter how many times they kill him off. I was lucky enough to meet Anders Hove, once dubbed “the sexiest man in Denmark” (I concur), and he not only twinkles, he oozes old world charm. Having done a straight-to-video vampire series called Subspecies, I met him at a horror convention in NYC years ago. He was a guest along with Denice Duff, also a soap actress and his co-star in one of the films. Of course I brought a Soap Opera Weekly with me for him to autograph, but I wasn’t sure I was going to get it back, as he & Denice were having such a great time looking at the magazine. At the time, we were promised a prequel Subspecies film, the story involving the history of his character, Radu, prior to becoming a vampire. I was all for this, as I wanted to see him in a film where he wasn’t salivating blood throughout the whole thing. Alas, it never happened, but I still hold out hope. After all, Bruce Campbell finally seems to be accepting the fact that he is Ash, so anything can happen.

OMG – Franco just “confessed” to save Nina. And he didn’t do it either.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Let’s just get right to it. I can’t stand Meghan. It’s surprising that she doesn’t trip all the time, since her nose is so far up in the air. She married into money and it’s a good thing because she’s so brainless, I can’t imagine her functioning in the real world. Although she’s his 4th wife and he seems like a real cretin, so I’m guessing it won’t last. Good luck when your time runs out. What I hate the most is, like Brandi who was recently shown the door from the NY Wives, she seems to be obsessed with knocking the other women because they’re older than she is. Does she think she’s going to remain 30 forever? (Not to mention that all of these women are gorgeous. We should all be so lucky to look like them when we’re “old,” which apparently in Meghan’s mind is 40 to 50.)

Wait, who are those extra women at the end of the table? Oh good, Meghan is crying. Boo…hoo…hoo.

Meghan is one of those women who likes to stir the pot and step back to watch the fireworks. Then, when they’re called on it, they pretend they don’t know what on earth anyone is talking about. (Otherwise known as Tamra Jr.) In a nutshell, Vicki’s (the OG of the OC) boyfriend, Brooks, has cancer. Chemotherapy does not seem to be working for him, so he’s decided to go a different  route. A few of the ladies (sans Vicki) had lunch with a psychic who claimed he “couldn’t see” Brook’s cancer. He back pedaled somewhat afterward, but it was too late. Because Meghan is so freaking narrow-minded and stupid, she can’t comprehend that there might be an alternative treatment other than chemo. (If she says “I can’t wrap my head around it” one more time, I’m going to scream.) She decided to pass this info along to a couple of the other Wives who weren’t at the lunch and this greatly disturbed Shannon, who is also a big believer in alternative medicine. At a subsequent dinner with Vicki and Brooks to celebrate Brook’s birthday, Shannon didn’t exactly let the cat out of the bag, but close enough, and Vicki got pretty upset. When she (Vicki) found out what was actually said, she was none too happy with Meghan.  After receiving a text from Vicki, Meghan insists that it was the psychic who said it, not her, and she is completely innocent. (Excuse me while I choke on my lemon seltzer.) When the ladies all get together for a dinner later, sparks fly, and the episode ends with Meghan calling Vicki “a bitter old woman who’s mad at the world.” What is wrong with this girl? When I was 30, hell, when I was 20, I had the ability to understand that there were things outside the realm of my own experiences, and knew that I would one day age, gleaning from my elders rather than insulting them because they dared to get old. And for someone who claims they “own” everything they say or do, she’s better than Taylor Swift at shaking it off. I can’t wait until that tool of a husband dumps her and she has to get a real job. I’m going to laugh my ass off.

What is really despicable – and there are several Wives who do this – is when nasty comments are made under the guise of being “honest,” or even worse, “caring.”

Shannon’s birthday dinner doesn’t go much better. She and her husband are in counseling, trying to keep their marriage together after his affair. Not only is her birthday reminding her 50th the year before, where David went off to see another woman after “seeing” her, David takes her and their daughters to a sports bar for dinner. Not exactly Shannon’s cup of tea. I’ve heard these two are doing well now, and I’m very glad to hear it. While David is not a favorite of mine, I like Shannon. There are times when she can act batsh*t crazy, but she has reason to be emotional, and this is not the easiest bunch to deal with. I like her sense of humor and I honestly think she’s one of the most real of all the Wives.

Heather sure is having a big house built. The first thing I thought was, more house, more incentive to save junk you don’t need. I’m assuming they have household help, but I just don’t see having a house a mile wide. I’m not that good of a roller skater.

Don’t Be Tardy

Just a quickie here. I have a weird relationship with this show. Since Kim Zolciak (now) Biermann has spun off from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I remain ambivalent on one hand and hypnotized on the other. I constantly say I’m going to skip the show because my television plate is already too full, but I end up seeing one of the late night reruns (excuse me, encore performances) because I’m still up. And enjoying it.

I wasn’t that crazy about Kim when we first met her on the Wives. I was in agreement with Nene Leakes when she said the infamous words, “Close your legs to married men.” But Kim’s daughters seemed so well-adjusted, I knew she couldn’t be all bad. Adding husband Kroy to the mix confirmed that. Highly doubtful that he would have married her, had she been the gold-digging shrew The Wives portrayed her to be.

My hat’s off to the Biermanns. They seem like a lovely, loving family, captivating in the crazy way they function. I especially applaud Kim and Kroy’s parenting skills, and how they ride the fine line between spoiling the kids (because, face it, they have the bucks, so why not?) and keeping them disciplined and grounded.

Maybe that’s why I always end up watching them. Every family is dysfunctional, but they have a knack for making it function for them.

Sunday, August 23, 2015 – The New Normal & The New Real: Cait & The Dead

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

I Am Cait

I’ve really been enjoying this show. Having had two friends who are transgender (sadly, one of them passed away last year), it’s interesting to watch the changes Cait is going through. I’m well aware there are many people, including some of her friends, who think the show has been all about makeup, hair and wardrobe, but that is the circle Cait travels in, so it’s natural for glamour to be a part of it. Would you have her go around in rags with a Nene wig just to prove some point?

As usual, tonight Cait had a lot on her plate, not only meeting with one of her male friends for the first time since her transition, but also taking a trip to New York City to address the LGBT community. While she had to navigate the former on her own (which went well), a group of friends accompanied her to NYC where a great time was had by all. I was sad to hear that Holly Woodlawn (part of Andy Warhol’s Factory and an entertainer in her own right) is not doing well healthwise though.

I can’t say as I ever thought a lot about Bruce Jenner. While the Kardashians aren’t exactly my cup of tea, I did see their show a handful of times.  He barely seemed to be there, and I often thought Kris and the girls were rude to him, but I also thought that was the part he was playing, that of the hapless father. Now that Bruce is Caitlyn, I see a warm and witty Jenner, loaded with personality and passion.  And I certainly see a multi-dimensional woman who isn’t just about the clothes. (Although one of the funniest moments so far was Kim telling Cait that her mother has the same dress when going through Cait’s closet.) I also see Cait as an extremely sensitive human being with great concern about those who don’t have the privileges that she does. There’s nothing wrong with her occasional over-enthusiasm about her own life. How would you feel if, at 65, you were suddenly reborn as the person you always were inside? It’s sad that some misunderstandings and conflicts have arisen between Cait and the Kardashian/Jenner clan, but I think eventually those will be resolved.

That being said, I desperately want to throw a Come As You Really Are party.

Fear the Walking Dead

I was glad to hear about this spin-off, since I’ve wanted The Walking Dead to expand its territory for a while.

My first thought: Were they setting up a Renaissance Faire at that church and why is that guy wearing a Medieval style shrug? My second thought: Thanks for having a commercial before the first 5 minutes is even up.

Favorite line: Madison: “You need to spend less time online. If there was a problem, we’d know about it. The authorities would tell us.” Now where have I heard that before? Could it be Dr. Hirsch from American Werewolf in London?  I’m certain that if a monster were out roaming northern England we’d have seen it on the telly.“

Let me get this straight, main character Travis slips in a pool of blood and viscera the size of the state of Rhode Island, but instead of getting the cops, he brings his girlfriend, Madison, back with him to investigate further? The kid on drugs (Nick, Madison’s son) seems to be the most sensible one so far. He’s also going to be the most in shape, since he also seems to be doing a lot of running.

A good portion episode was a set up for what’s to come (and judging by the preview, it’s a lot), introducing the characters and letting us know what makes them tick, with sprinkles of zombie payoff here and there. The crescendo ending, when Nick’s dealer/friend Calvin almost takes a bite out of Travis and Madison, was a nice taste (no pun intended) of the future. Although once again, a Black man is the first to go.

All in all, I thought the hour and a half went by very quickly, and I’m looking forward to the next episode. A little more character driven than its counterpart, The Walking Dead, it gives a fresh perspective on the destruction of society.

Although I can’t wait for Z Nation to be back. Tongue and cheekier, it’s secretly my favorite of the zombie bunch. Since its new season begins on September 11, I’m highly unlikely to forget when it starts again.