September 27, 2015 — Fairy Tales, Zombies & Kim, Oh My!

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon A Time

This show seems like it’s written by a bunch of ex-Disney employees on cocaine. Or as Mr. Hand would say, “on dope.” And I mean that in a good way. You never know who is going to show up – Cinderella, King Arthur, the Wicked Witch of whatever direction is in vogue. I’m waiting for the Peanuts gang to stop by any second.

I’d watched some of the show before the season premiere, where the cast and writers answered fan’s questions. Apparently, this show has achieved mini cultlike status. I didn’t think I was the only one watching it, because it keeps getting renewed, but I hadn’t realized how attached many people are to it. They continually said that it’s a “story about hope.” I can’t say I read a lot into it myself, although I do have shows and movies I feel that way about, so I’m impressed. My reasons for watching are much more shallow. The fabulous sets and costumes, and Captain Hook. He ain’t Walt Disney’s Captain Hook. It is also a lot of fun, characters from every favorite childhood story, living normal lives in a parallel world, while they wield their magic in whatever world they came from, be it Neverland or an enchanted forest. Bet you never knew Snow White and Prince Charming had a daughter. Frankly, I never thought about it much either, but that was the crux of the story and it blossomed from there.

Note to whoever does blonde hair on television shows – stop giving the women those silver highlights. They look like they have grey hair. Unless that’s the look you’re going for. That being said, I want to know who designed Emma’s coat in tonight’s episode. It is beyond.

Commercial break. Shouldn’t the “Little People Big Animal Zoo” be called the “Little People Big Animal Habitat?” Just sayin’.

This season, they’re adding Camelot to the mix and I’m wondering if Monty Python’s Flying Circus will come along? The special effects are also a lot of fun, and tonight Sneezy got turned into stone and crumbled into dust. He never did get any respect.

And whatever happened to Pongo?

Fear the Walking Dead

I got confused for a second with it starting off with some guy talking about being a closer, saying he can sell anything but insurance, like he’s a leftover from an Allstate commercial. We’re in some kind of holding tank, which I assume is the quarantine area. Nick is also there.

All right! The Walking Dead is coming back October  11 – Daryl & zombies!

Daniel’s daughter, Ofelia, is hopping up and down and creating a scene at the fence. She wants to see her mother. She tries to get others to go along with her complaining, but no one wants to get involved. Andrew, a soldier she befriended earlier, intervenes. Some guy in the background has had enough and is quitting the soldier business.

In the infirmary, Liza has been recruited to help with the sick. Dr. Exner says they’re short staffed and doesn’t explain where some of the staff went. I’ll bet I can guess.

Meanwhile, back at Madison’s place Chris basically tells Travis he’s a pacifist tool and storms off. Madison finds that Daniel has captured Andrew, who I assume he’s going to pump for information. Andrew gives him a bunch of rhetoric, telling them everything is cool. We all know everything is not cool, except for Travis who lives in Dream Valley with the My Little Ponies. He’s gone off to reason with his buddy, Lt. Moyers, and more rhetoric is given. Travis tells him that if the people who were taken don’t come back soon, the town is not going to be happy. This was really a stupid move, since he gets taken to “see the doctor,” which I think is a euphemism for “you’re not coming back.”

Lieutenant Dickweed will be lucky if his own men don’t end up killing him.

Oh look! It’s a zombie! I’d almost forgotten that’s what this show is about. Moyers wants Travis to kill it – I guess to make some kind of point. IMO this is akin to the Mafia guys in movies who always want to recruit civilians to be hit men. Probably not a good idea if you really want to get the job done. Travis can’t do it, so Moyers does, proving that Travis is willing to let someone else do the dirty work.

Commercial break. Into the Badlands looks amazing. It’s some kind of samurai drama. I don’t need another show to watch though. TV has got to stop being so good. Love those beer ads about “the most interesting man in the world.” IRL, he’s an animal activist. I read this in an article titled, The Most Interesting Man in the World Just Got More Interesting.

Back at the infirmary, a soldier has come in with bite marks and everyone gets real busy real quickly. Travis and the soldiers drive through an evacuated area that’s not so evacuated, since it’s crawling with zombies. When the soldiers are done doing whatever, Travis is told they’re taking him a few blocks away from home and he has to walk the rest of the way. What?!  Thanks a lot!

Apparently, Daniel knows a thing or two about torture and is skinning one of Andrew’s arms. Whoa.  Chris and Alicia have broken into a rich person’s house, play with their expensive toys and try on their expensive clothes. (An homage to the original Dawn of the Dead perhaps?) In the quarantine area, the soldiers are taking everyone’s temperature with a device that they can use from a distance. Cool! Nick’s temp is high (probably from withdrawal), but the Allstate guy keeps him from getting hauled away.

Ofelia is not too happy about Daniel’s means of getting information and walks out of the house. Lots of storming off tonight, even though there’s nowhere to storm off to. Daniel explains to Madison that he had told his daughter about the war he’s been through, but not what part he played in it. He says that sometimes it’s necessary to be evil in order to eradicate evil. He didn’t use those exact words, but I paraphrased. Not bad, eh?

Liza is combing the place for Griselda. She finds her among other “patients” in a locked area where all the people are wrapped up in what look like cocoons. Dr. Exner comes up behind her, and tells her that they have “septic shock” and there isn’t anything anyone can do. I’m guessing these are the people closest to death and they’re being kept far away and confined.

Chris and Alicia trash the rich people’s house just like normal teenagers. Travis makes it home and sees Ofelia practically catatonic.  He is totally appalled at Daniel’s behavior, but hey, it worked. Andrew is spilling everything. It turns out the soldiers are all going to book and the civilians are going to be “humanely terminated.”

The Allstate guy is amused that the people who have everything are now being looked at as lunch. He knows what’s happening with the evacuation, and wants Nick’s help. I’m pretty sure that this guy doesn’t do anything without wanting a favor in return.

Griselda is babbling in Spanish about the past which means I have to read subtitles. Afterward, she promptly dies. Why they have un-cocooned her, I have no clue. That seems kind of dangerous, and the doctor has just said they all come back and to shoot her in the head with some kind of gun used for livestock, which Liza does.

Why the blip is Daniel roaming about alone at night? He wanders all the way to the Los Angeles Arena, where the soldiers have chained a whole load of zombies inside. He watches as the doors begin to shake, reminiscent of when Rick finds the chained doors in the first episode of The Walking Dead. The only thing missing is the warning DO NOT OPEN – DEAD INSIDE.

It looks like next week, we will get full on zombies.

Best quote by Lt. D-bag: I can do anything I want. I got guns.

Don’t Be Tardy

This is one of those shows that I can take or leave, but really enjoy it when I take it. Despite her recent airport tantrum (who hasn’t at least thrown one in their head?), Kim and the rest of the Biermanns seem like lovely, normal (albeit rich) people.

Tonight, Kim made a speech and she got my vote for best real quote of the night. Maybe the year. While addressing a group of women, she said, “Can you imagine if [women] truly shared what they know with each other, how successful they would be?” She said this after talking about how some women will resent others doing well. Brava, Kim! I’ve thought that for a long time.

Don’t Be Tardy also got the award of the millennium for being a true glimpse of reality. Their dog took a poop and promptly ate it, causing Troy to convulse in laughter, and the girls to screech at the top of their lungs. It doesn’t get more real than that.

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