Monthly Archives: November 2015

November 29, 2015 — The Dead Walk, the Wives Squawk & Dark Clouds Stalk


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


The Walking Dead

Ok, it’s creepy already. We’re going down a hallway while Tiny Tim’s Tiptoe Through the Tulips plays in the background. Jessie’s son, Sam, is drawing weird pictures in crayon. A bunch of ants crawl down the frame of his window to the plate of uneaten food next to the bed. WTF?

Moving on. Last week, the church tower fell, opening the walls of Alexandria to the zombie horde. This is not good news. The zombies are getting pretty gross too. Rick gets it together quickly and tells everyone to get inside.  Very intense stuff.  Deanna comes out shooting, but she’s a bad shot so not much help.

This really sucks. Even Carol is falling all over the place, she’s so startled. Rick drags Deanna’s ass inside. Maggie is having a tough time of it, but manages to climb a ladder. Since she’s climbing for two, she’s pretty motivated. The ladder falls out from under her, but she pulls herself up there. Geez, I’m tired now.

The green balloons are still floating in the sky. Eugene is somehow remaining unobtrusive, but is still outside, and Tara and the girl whose name I don’t know, save him. I’m sure someone must have gotten eaten here, but all the main characters get to safety, such as it is, while the zombie horde roams the streets of Alexandria.

Commercial break. Dammit! Why does Krampus have to be PG-13? It looks so good, but I can’t deal with a room full of kids and their cell phones.

From a distance, Glenn and Enid can see what’s going on at Alexandria. Glenn says people are still alive, but Enid says this is how it happens and it always happens. Glenn says they’re still alive and why lose people before they’re even gone? Very good point.

Jessie’s son is acting very freaky. Jessie comes busting in with Rick and a bunch of people and this kid is on his last nerve. Jessie tells him to pretend like it’s all good, but he’s petrified and not functioning. He needs to turn off that music.

Carol and Morgan are stuck together. Carol says she doesn’t trust him, but she doesn’t think he’s a liar either. She asks how it is outside and he says they’re still in the streets. Did they think the zombies would be gone by now? Carol is hurt and Morgan tells her she needs to sit down before she falls down.

Somehow Denise got stuck with the Wolf that Morgan captured. He’s like, it’s cool to talk, and she says she should be out helping people. She says he’s killed people, and he says they were freed. Denise says Morgan doesn’t want to let him go until he knows he won’t kill again. The Wolf says he has an infection from cutting himself on a rusty bumper. Denise takes a look at it and tells him he can change. Let’s hope that wound is what he’s saying it is and he doesn’t change into a zombie. He looks at Denise like he has a crush on her. Or maybe he wants to eat her. I’ve looked at cakes that way.

Michonne is checking out Deanna’s would. Are those teeth marks?

Yep, I guess so. Rick says she doesn’t have much time. He says he’s going to try and get a vehicle and get the zombies out of there.

Michonne tries to distract Deanna by discussing the plans she gave them for the new Alexandria. Deanna says that she got to do what she wanted up until the end and asks Michonne what she wants for herself. Michonne says she doesn’t know and Deanna says she’d better. She probably knows she doesn’t want to turn into a zombie.

Ron whines to Carl that they’re all dead and tells him his dad’s a killer. Carl says so is his, and that gives Ron pause for thought. Ron locks the door and attacks Carl. Then he busts open a window like a freakin’ jerk. The zombies are all focused on getting in now. Idiot! They should throw Ron out there with them.

Now everyone has to run like crazy to get away and they can barely hold the door shut with a couch. Rick asks Carl what the blip happened. This probably isn’t the time to have some big discussion. Ron goes upstairs and Carol follows. Carl draws his gun and tells Ron to give him his gun. Carl takes the gun from him. Carl says he gets that his dad killed Ron’s dad, but Ron needs to get that his dad was an a-hole. His word, although I concur.

Commercial break. Episode of Fear 462. The first passenger turns into a zombie.

Great. Baby Judith is crying and attracting zombies. Uh-oh. Deanna is gone. Rick opens the door and finds her over the crib and almost chops her in the head with an ax, but she’s like, hold on there, I’m still alive. Rick says from now on someone needs to be with her. And it can’t be Judith. Oh wow. Rick made a funny. She gives him something from Spencer to Maggie and Rick says he’ll make sure she gets it. Deanna tells him she didn’t run out to help him because she liked him, or a bunch of other reasons, but because he’s one of them. They are all his people.

Girl whose name I don’t know asks Tara if she thinks it’s curtains for Alexandria. Tara says no. For some reason Girlfriend says she thinks Abraham is dead. Tara is like, is not. Girlfriend wants to spread out from the area of the building they’re in, and Eugene says lock picking is within his skill set.

Morgan asks Carol if she’s all right and she says she’s just resting her eyes. That’s what my dad used to say when he was falling asleep in the recliner. Morgan is looking around and doesn’t see Carol. She pops out and grabs some keys from him and takes off. What?

Rick and company are having a hell of a time and the zombies have gotten totally into the house. Damn! They block the staircase with the couch.

Denise is tending to the Wolf’s wound and Carol comes in with a knife saying get away from him. Denise says he’s tied up, but she moves. I would too if Carol had a knife in my face. Morgan is right behind her with his stick. WTF, Carol?

Rick and Michonne pick off a couple of zombies and drag them upstairs. The plan is to gut the zombies, put the guts on bed sheets, and get to the armory. Rick says anyone who stays will die. Will someone please turn that record off?

Morgan says they can be better than the Wolfs; they don’t have to kill. Carol says she doesn’t want to have to kill Morgan too. I have a bad feeling about this, Beavis.

Deanna asks Michonne what’s going on. She’s not looking too good. She says it’s her life from start to finish. She has a gun and says she’s not ready yet, but she will be. She tells Michonne to go. Michonne thanks her for believing in them. Deanna tells her to figure out what she wants. Probably surviving is at the top of the list.

DAMMIT! TURN THAT RECORD OFF! Jessie tells Sam that he has to pretend to be brave and they have to go.

Carol says she’s going to kill Morgan to kill the Wolf because she doesn’t want anyone else to die. This makes perfect sense, said no one ever.The Wolf says they should kill him, but they’re all going to die anyway. Morgan knocks the knife (scissors, whatever it is) out of her hand with the stick, and they tussle. Carol gets knocked out and the Wolf gets free and grabs the knife.

Rick and company put the gut covered sheets on. Stupid Father Gabriel claims that he won’t turn back no matter what happens. We’ll see.

Denise begs the Wolf not to kill them. She says he claimed they were dead anyway. He frees himself, and comes after her with the knife and she tells him he’s full of sh*t. Eugene, Tara and Girlfriend come in, but the Wolf puts the knife to Denise’s throat, so they lower their weapons.  He takes one of the guns and walks past them, holding the gun to Denise’s head. Why he wants to leave is beyond me.

Rick and the others are ready to leave the house. Hopefully, it doesn’t rain this time. This looks so disgusting, I can almost smell it. The crowd of zombies in the house reminds me of some NYC parties I’ve been to. Glenn and Enid see them come out of the house from a tree.

Deanna is about to shoot herself, but shoots a few zombies first. You go, girl!

I can understand not moving fast, but this group should probably get off the porch. That stupid freaking kid! He starts going, “Mom…mom…mom…” Shut the blip up!

Next week, Daryl and company can’t catch a break.

Oh, and thanks for the earworm, Walking Dead.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Kenya “stops by” Sheree’s house. It does look like kind of a mess, but really just a work in progress. Kenya says it’s at least 15 to 20,000 square feet. Yep, it’s big. Kenya talks about how she had her entire house gutted and it sounds like a headache. Kenya invites Sheree to a party on a yacht. She wants to give Cynthia a good time since she got stuck with that cretin, Peter, as a partner in life.

Phaedra is out shopping with Porsha, who’s looking for some cute, trashy close for Facetime with her boyfriend.

Peter is in Charlotte (good, stay there) and Cynthia invites Kandi over. Kandi tells her that she has some pregnancy issues, but she feels she’s taking it easy enough. She talks about the restaurant she and Todd want to open. Cynthia makes excuses for Peter like she usually does, but she also admits their relationship isn’t working. Please, get rid of him already.

Kim is talking to Phaedra about an event she went to with “too much boobage” and Phaedra says that she might be in with the wrong crowd here. She says she doesn’t really have a huge social life, it mostly revolves around her husband and kids.  She tears up, realizing she’s lost herself somewhere in there.

Porsha dresses up like a porn star for her chat with her boyfriend. She keeps checking herself in the mirror while eons go by and she can’t get ahold of him. An hour goes by. She calls Phaedra to complain about having to wait on Duke. Phaedra says the thrill is gone and it’s run its course. Geez, it didn’t take much.

Kenya picks up Cynthia and her friend, Tammy. Kandi picks up Kim in what looks like an airport limousine. She says she needs a lot of room because of the pregnancy. Kim says she admires Kandi’s entrepreneurship. They talk about sex toys, as Kandi has a line of them. Kim says this is very different from her normal carpool experience.

Oh this should be good. Tammy’s best friend is Sheree’s ex-husband. She let’s fly that Sheree was a gold digger.

Kandi picks up Porsha and some friend of hers that we don’t get introduced to. Kim expresses concern that Kenya will bedriving the boat, but they have a legitimate captain. And some hunky bartenders. Kenya greets the rest of the guests, indicating that she didn’t invite Shemia, who is the tagalong friend. She was also at Kenya’s launch party. Kenya has to explain to Porsha that not all parties include a plus one.

Tammy acts all fangirl with Kandi having been in Xscape.  Kenya makes an announcement that the party is all about Cynthia. Sheree comes on board and they shove off.

Tammy talks to Kandi about her son’s rap song and says she wants to get him in the studio with Kandi. Tammy says Sheree’s ex is producing him. Kandi is evasive and rightly so. This is no place to be bugging her about work stuff and Kandi says in her individual interview that she doesn’t want to hear about anything without a budget. Tammy says her husband is “Nazi white.” What is this girl on?

Kim pulls out a book, which is probably what I would do, and Kenya throws it overboard. Everyone is drinking heavily, except for Kandi and Kim. Now they’re going to get in the water. Brilliant. They’re wearing life jackets, but still.

Kenya says thanks to everybody for being supportive at her event despite the heat. She says the only one who threw shade was Shemia, and next thing we know, Kenya is looking to have this uninvited guest escorted off the boat. Portia uses the term “bitch” in reference to Cynthia and even though they’ve been using this word toward each other all day, Cynthia isn’t liking it. In her individual interview.  Porsha says she didn’t mean it in an insulting way and suggests that the last shot must have turned her into Peter.

Kenya has to explain that Porsha should just apologize and let it go. Porsha goes to find Cynthia, who has gone to the other side of the boat with Kim. Cynthia claims that Porsha was being disrespectful. Porsha says she’s sorry, but she doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong, which isn’t exactly an apology. They get into a finger-in-your-face shouting match that ends (at least for tonight) with Porsha jumping up and onto Cynthia. I flashback to when she did the same thing to Kenya on the reunion. This girl has no self-control. They tend to throw the term “ghetto” around too, but I think this is actually it.

Next week – the fight continues and Porsha ends up flailing about on the floor again.

Once Upon A Time

I’m putting this show last, even though I watched it first. I thought if somebody new reads this and it’s the first thing they read, they’ll think I’m high or something. It’s not me, it’s the show. I’m sure my writing is as hard to follow as it is for me to follow the program. If this was the 80s, I’d swear the writers are on crack.

Hook throws the dreamcatcher in Dark Emma’s face and those black stringy things go all over, roping him in. He remembers coming to the dark side and emerges out of the forest sewer cap in the hoodie required to be in the dark one club. Rumpel is waiting for him.

Rumpel says he can get his revenge for him.  And then he’ll be capable of doing what he’s always wanted to do – killing Rumpel.

Regina tells Dark Emma thanks a lot for turning Hook dark. Snow tells Dark Emma to give back their memories. David says the dreamcatchers are gone.

Hook goes to Mr. Gold’s shop and says he wants to savor killing him. He reminds Gold/Rumpel of how he came to be dark in the first place. Hook says all Rumpel has to do is get Excalibur from him and asks if they should finish what they started.

Rumpel says they have to find out more about the first dark one to stop Hook. Dark Emma says she can help, but she needs the cuff that’s holding her back to be taken off. She pleads with Henry to believe she’ll behave herself, but Henry is like, oh no, you’ve lied one too many times and you just want your dark magic back so you can be bad all over the place. Emma is bummed because they don’t trust her, but what did she expect? Trust has to be earned, dark one.

Everyone goes to the forest sewer cap, but it’s shut and they can’t get down there.  Snow thinks Lancelot’s mother, the Lady of the Lake, can help. Lancelot leaves to find her. Hook asks why dark ones must dress like monks. Ha-ha! Rumpel finds him wandering about the forest whining about how he’s stuck in Camelot. Dark Emma joins the both of them. She says she wants a future with Hook, and he has to want it too. He says he does and Rumpel disappears. Emma says they can get rid of the darkness in themselves by bonding with their loved ones, and I’d swear it was Iowa from all the corn.

Mr. Gold tells Belle that if he survives the duel with Hook, he’s going to be the man she wants him to be. He’s run from battles his whole life and isn’t running from this one.

Zelena tries to come into the hospital to get her baby, but her daughter is gone. Regina says they needed to protect the child from her. Regina says the only reason she has the baby is because she killed Marion and deceived Robin.

Merida is guarding Dark Storybrooke Emma. Hook startles her and she almost shoots him. Dark Emma says the reason Hook is there is because he still has feelings for her. Hook says he’s free now, and no one can stop him. Dark Emma says the darkness is just using him; it doesn’t care about what he wants. He says she’s so afraid of losing the people she loves, she pushes them away. He says she doesn’t need the darkness, she does fine on her own. He says he wants to hurt her like she hurt him. Even when you’re a dark one, you can’t escape middle school.

In Camelot, however, Dark Emma and Hook are making out in the woods. Hook goes to get water (can’t he just conjure some up?) and he gets a headache. Rumpel appears and says it’s the sound of the dagger. He says Dark Emma must have it and she’s lying to him. Dark Emma comes looking for Hook and he asks if she knows where Excalibur is. She says something unrelated like, “How about them Mets?” to deflect the question. He asks if she used its magic on him. He’s pretty pissed that she turned him dark. He says he stopped Regina from using it on her because she should make her own decisions and she should have let him make his. Then he’s gone, poof! in a puff of red smoke. Burgundy really.

Rumpel is in the shop practicing with the sword and gets interrupted by Dark Emma. She wants Hook to last long enough in the duel for her to steal back the dreamcatchers and suggests he use magic. Rumpel says he wants to win with honor. She’s like, good luck with that.

Regina brings Zelina to her house where Robin and the baby are, reminding Zelena that she has her powers back too. Zelena says,  “Once you go green, you never go queen,” referring to her tryst with Robin. Regina says she’s spent years doing terrible things beyond Zelena’s imagination, but having a child changed things. She hopes that kind of love does the Jessiee for Zelena. Robin says although he and Zelena can never be a family, she can have supervised visits with the baby. Does this baby have a name yet?

Belle, David, Henry & Snow are at the library doing research. How come they’re not using a computer? Dark Emma ambushes Henry. She asks for help with the dreamcatchers and Henry agrees.

Dark Emma searches for Hook with no luck. She summons him with Excalibur. He says it wasn’t cool for her to make him feel out of control. She says she called him because she does believe he should control his own fate. She gives him Excalibur and says let’s do this together. She says she loves him. He returns the sentiment and they make out in a field of flowers.

Mr. Gold shows up at Hook’s ship. Hook says it has to be a fair fight (that’s good of him) and heals Rumpel’s leg. They duel with swords.

Commercial break. Galavan is coming back! I liked that show & I also forgot about it. It was so weird, I didn’t think it would come back. Certainly not after all this time.

Hook and Dark Emma hook (ha-ha!) back up with the others. Merlin is staring into a bubbling caldron. Hook walks in on him and steals his heart. Rumpel says be careful, it’s pretty old. Nimue also pops in. (Every time I hear her name, that song The Lion Sleeps Tonight plays in my head.) She says she’s always loved Merlin. Hook says she lives in all dark ones, so when he crushes Merlin’s heart, so will she.

Hook and Rumpel continue to fight. Rumpel loses his sword and Hook has him at a disadvantage.

Henry, who has brought stuff to make a new dreamcatcher, takes the cuff off of Dark Emma.

Dark Emma finds Hook with Merlin’s heart. She’s pretty pissed because he tricked her. She asks Nimue what she wants and she says Dark Emma wants it too. Dark Emma gets the feels and tells Hook revenge isn’t his happy ending and if he destroys Merlin’s heart, he’ll destroy his happy ending. He says the happy ending died when she turned him into a dark one and he crushes Merlin’s heart.  Whoa. That’s cold.

Hook prattles on and magic forest Rumpel pops in asking what’s the delay. When Hook looks at him, Mr. Gold/Rumpel turns the tables. I don’t think he kills him though. Belle meets Rumpel in the woods, but they don’t make out. She tells him he’s broken her heart too many times. He says, but wait a minute, I won the battle, my heart is pure now, so let’s make out. Belle basically says she has to go find herself and needs to protect her heart. There you go. After all that.

Dark Emma makes Merlin’s body go poof! in a cloud of grey smoke. She tells Hook she’ll never abandon him, not even now, makes a hand gesture (not that one) and he keels over. She brings out a dreamcatcher. She makes everyone go to sleep. She uses the dreamcatcher to erase the memories of her turning Hook dark.

Rumpel tells her no good is going to come of this. Lots and lots and lots of blue smoke envelops everything.

All of a sudden, Excalibur is back at Camelot and Arthur’s eyes bug out of his head. From the tower window, Arthur and Guinevere see the humongous cloud of smoke coming their way too. Arthur tells Guinevere that it’s dark magic coming.

Everyone gets dreamcatchers like they’re party favors. Emma says she remembers and she knows what they’re doing, meaning Hook and Rumpel.

Hook and Rumpel are at some creepy pond. Hook dips his hook into the pond. A ghost ship appears! Well, more like a gondola. There are a bunch of hooded dudes in it and one comes across the pond, walking on the water. It’s Nimue and she says she’s hear to do what dark ones do best, snuff out the light. Hook says welcome to Storybrooke. And I thought those snuffers all lived in my town.

The winter finale – whatever that is – an excuse to take a break – is next week.

November 27, 2015 — Of Chefs & Zombies


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


Master Chef Junior

Just a few words on tonight’s show. I don’t say too much about this one because making sarcastic comments about a children’s competition just wouldn’t be right.

The deal this week was a three team relay race to make 7-layer dip, with the judges ending up with their faces in the dip. They do a lot of Nickelodeon  type antics on this show. I guess the kids enjoy it. It’s kind of funny because they’re so mature, you sometimes forget they’re kids. Until someone’s face goes into the dip.

The winners also get to pick wrinkly, smelly or spicy ingredients for the non-winners (are we allowed to say losers anymore?) to use in the elimination challenge. One of the smelly ingredients is liver. I’m the only person on the planet who likes liver. In butter with mushrooms and onions. The winners pick the smelly ingredients for the others to cook with.

You know when Gordon asks you to taste something, it’s not going well for you. But that’s okay, kids who went home, I’m decades older than you and I wouldn’t even have a clue as to what to do with truffle oil.

Z Nation

We start off at the USA/Mexican border with a zombie trying to eat a drone. Operation Bite Mark is getting rid of a whole load of zombies and I’m wondering if 10K is still counting and how does he keep count anyway?

Murphy isn’t looking too good, but Roberta tells him that if he’s the zombie messiah, it’s time for a miracle.

Doesn’t happen, but suddenly a bunch of people in Day of the Dead makeup drop down from the roof like a SWAT team and take care of the mini horde.

It’s our old friend, Escorpion. Murphy outs himself as The Murphy, and Roberta says they have to get him to CDC. She says if Escorpion doesn’t back off, she’ll kill him. Murphy not Escorpion. Murphy shows his bite marks. Escorpion tells them to lower their weapons and he won’t interfere. He says if he wanted them dead, he would have left them to the zombies. Good point.

Escorpion is making zombies into compost from which he can create energy. He takes them through the building and out into a gorgeous compound on the Mexican side. Escorpion says they’re lucky one of his drones spotted them. He says he’s been tracking them and that whenever there’s some crazy bullsh*t going on, it’s them. He says their queen can give OBM a bounty better than the CDC. Since the bounty isn’t what OBM is after, I’m not sure what’s up here.

He introduces them to La Reina, Queen of the Zeros, played by Gina Gershon. She praises Roberta on her skills at getting Murphy to her, when her best men weren’t capable. On the side, Addy asks Roberta what the plan is. Roberta says to stay alive and get out when they can – with Murphy.

La Reina says Escorpion is aggressive and lacks tact so the people come to her for inspiration and hope. She says only the Zeros have the ability to distribute narcotics globally and she can get the antidote to the people. Her doctor has been working on a vaccine and the final ingredient needed is Murphy’s blood.

Oh dammit! It’s Dr. Kurian from the CDC suddenly popping in.

La Reina is surprised to find they know each other. She’d lost track of the doctor in Colorado, where he took off with her money and research. He was brought back to “atone.” She tells Roberta that she gets where Roberta is coming from, she would want revenge too, but she doesn’t want her killing the doctor. Roberta says she can’t anyway because they took her gun.  La Reina says that sometimes to save humanity, you have to put up with some disagreeable men, but some day that will change.

Murphy goes to Dr. Kurian’s lab. He asks why the doctor didn’t contact him and does he realize all the stuff Murphy’s gone through.  Dr. Kurian asks what he wants him to do, send a Hallmark card? Murphy gets ready to have his blood taken.

La Reina offers OBM future positions in her empire. Vasquez tells Roberta to say yes. La Reina says there is a formality first, an examination, and burlap bags are put over the heads of OBM. OBM is put into a room where they’re supposed to fight zombies with rather primitive weapons. Escorpion and his cronies place bets. A zombie is let in and Addy gives it mercy. Escorpion says he’s going to do them a favor and Vasquez flashes back to another time where he’s heard him say that before. Oooh, Escorpion was the guy who killed Vasquez’s family.  Escorpion turns out the lights and lets in a load of zombies.

When the lights come back up, the zombies are dead and OBM is still standing.

Dr. Kurian sticks a needle in a guard’s neck and brings him into the lab. He gave him a full dose of the vaccine. He immediately pops up with crazy eyes and tries to attack Murphy. Murphy does his mind meld thing and the zombie backs off. Murphy plays a mirror game with him for a while and then he keels over. Dr.Kurian apparently needs to work out some kinks.

In the meantime, the rest of OBM is getting spiffed up. Apparently, the Zeros had amazing outfits in just the right sizes. Ha-ha! Doc’s beard had rollers in it and comes out all curly. Escorpion tells them to come with him. We see the same tattoo as the guy had in Vasquez’s flashback.

There’s a big ceremony and La Reina comes out in a burgundy mantilla with a crown of buzzard skulls or something. She says she’s going to bestow the greatest honor on OBM by making them “one of us.” OBM are given their weapons back and it’s on to the celebration, which consists of Spanish music and a nice buffet.

Vasquez tells Roberta he wants to kill Escorpion and he has to do what he came there to do.

Addy is wandering around and sees some guys using a zombie as a piñata. Way to rock a party!

And there’s entertainment. Señor somebody gets on stage with his ventriloquist dummy and Escorpoin promptly shoots him in the head. Tough crowd. I would be afraid to follow that act. Luckily, the lady doing the flamenco dancing passes muster.

Roberta asks Murphy, who is dressed in a matador outfit, what happened. He tells her that Dr. Kerian took his blood. He says he wants a cure as much as anybody, but she says he’s enjoying his power too much.

Vasquez is about to shoot Escorpian in the back of the head, and Roberta stops him. Because Escorpion is standing in front of La Reina, the queen thinks Vasquez was going to assassinate her. Escorpion says he might be working with others and takes Vasquez away to be tortured. Escorpion asks why he was trying to kill the queen and he says he wasn’t.  He asks who Vasquez is working for, the Russians, the Chinese or rich people. Vasquez says he doesn’t know what Escorpion is talking about. Escorpion threatens him with an egg beater. A messenger comes to tell Escorpion something and he tells Vasquez he has good news, but not for him.

Dr. Kurian announces that he has the vaccine. La Reina wants a demonstration. For that he needs a volunteer. Escorpion graciously offers Vasquez. Le Reina says this is the beginning of a new world order. The doctor is about to inject Vasquez, when the screen says —

Continúara .

November 25, 2015 –Loving & Thanksgiving Pizza


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


If Loving You Is Wrong

Stalker Randal won’t leave Alex’s hospital room. He goes on and on with declarations of love, and is totally freaking her out. He makes these pleading faces that I can’t stand. Alex rings for the nurse. Randal is borderline hysterical. How he even got in here is beyond me.

The nurse tells Randal he has to leave. Randal says he’s not leaving without holding his son. The nurse threatens to get security. Brad walks in and tells Alex to let him hold the baby. This is all so sickening, I’m feeling the pit of Alex’s stomach.

The nurse threatens Randal with security again, and Brad insists Alex let Randal hold his son. The nurse asks Alex if she should get help, but Alex says no. Randal tells Brad he should leave, and they start going back and forth about Brad having sex with Marcie. Brad says Randal sounds crazy, and Randal says Brad has no idea how crazy he is. I think I have a pretty good idea. I’ve thought he was weird from the first episode. Brad wants to take it outside, but Randal says he wants to spend quality time with his son. We should have a drinking game where we take a shot whenever they say “son.” We’ll be three sheets to the wind in no time.

Brad accesses the video of him and Marcie on his cell phone. We don’t see it, but there are a lot of noises. Brad is like, I’m going to do it again when I’m not so drunk. Randal tries punching him and misses. Brad locks the door and proceeds to kick the bejesus out of Randal. I don’t think you’re allowed to do this in the hospital. Well, maybe General Hospital.

Eddie introduces himself to Claudia. Eddie is seriously getting on my nerves. He asks her if she saw the video of the shooting. She says something about the poor cop who got shot and Eddie says he thought the dude shot himself. She says she’s unclear about what she saw. She needs some creamer and Eddie gives her some from his desk. She introduces herself to Lushion. This business with the creamer seemed unnecessary. Maybe I’ll think differently later.

Faun brings Joey to her house when her father is out of town. I don’t think these two have any idea of how much trouble they’re probably going to get in eventually. Joey is impressed with all the cool stuff, but her room looks like it was furnished from PBTeen. Faun brings out a joint.

Faun wants Joey to do a striptease and takes the bank bag out of her purse. She starts throwing the money around, and thinks this is a real hoot. I’m guessing her father thought she was more responsible than this. They start making out on top of the money, which looks like Monopoly money, but maybe it’s the lighting.

Ramsey asks Kelly, who is sitting in her car, how she’s doing and she says fine. He says she’s been sitting there a while, but she’s like everything is cool, go away. He insists on knowing what’s wrong, and she says she had a bad blowup with a friend and is trying to get herself together before her son comes home. Ramsey asks if she’d like to come in. She suggests they go to her house.

Ramsey says he can’t wait to sell the house and get out. It’s depressing living at his mother’s house now that she’s gone. He starts singing some song his mother sang, and Kelly knows it and sings. He says she has a beautiful voice, and she says he doesn’t. Ha-ha! She gets them some wine and he says he hasn’t been able to track Marcie down. Kelly says Marcie has a lot going on right now, which is an understatement, but to not give up.

He says he doesn’t want to be the guy who cries every time he thinks about his mother and wants to leave. Kelly says it’s cool and don’t go. He says he’s a military man and is used to being the strong one. Kelly says she’s pretty stressed and Ramsey asks if it has to do with Alex. Kelly is like, how the blip did you know about that? And he says his mother had heard them in the shed. Ramsey says Kelly has no idea how much he misses his mom.

He tells Kelly she’s beautiful and now he’s got to go. He says a friend once told him in moments like this, you should only be around people you trust. She’s like, what? and he says he doesn’t trust himself. They have some pre-romantic banter and Ramsey leaves.

They start to kiss on the porch and that idiot Travis shows up. He’s all what is this? like he owns Kelly. He follows Kelly into the house and asks if she’s seeing someone behind his back. What is wrong with this guy? He’s the one who just wanted to be friends and was engaged to someone else. I’m totally not getting this. She tells him to get out, which seems to be a regular thing now.

Esperanza interrupts Eddie trying to chat up Claudia. She says Eddie is the father of her son and tells Claudia to get back to work. Eddie thinks she’s jealous, but I think she’s just running interference because of what Natalie told her.

Faun asks Joey if they’re dating. Since they’re naked in bed among bills of various denominations, is that what they call this kind of thing now? Too late for an answer. Faun’s father walks in with a shotgun. He tells Joey to get dressed and wait in his car. I’m guessing it’s not to give his blessing to this union.

Marcie is ready for work and Louise says she’d like to stay a little longer. She says she wants to make sure Marcie and Randal are okay. Marcie says she’ll be staying a long time then. Louise apologizes for Randal’s actions and says he knows better. She says she’s talked to him and thinks he feels sorry.

Randal walks in. Louise asks what happened and he says he kicked Brad’s ass. Marcie says it looks like Brad kicked Randal’s ass. Louise tells them to knock it off. Randal sits down and lights up a cigar, and sings some song as he goes upstairs. Louise and Marcie are as puzzled as I am.

Lushion asks Ben why he does everything Eddie tells him to. Eddie tells him to mind his own business. Lushion finds Pete in the locker room. Pete isn’t thrilled with patrolling a good neighborhood on a bicycle. He says he’s working on something that’s going to shake up the whole department. Lushion tells him whatever he’s doing, he should drop it. Lushion says he has no idea what’s going on there and you can’t trust anybody. Pete thinks he’s special and Lushion tells him his ego is going to get him in trouble. Yep.

Mr. Kym takes Joey home and tells Natalie what he found. He tells her to keep an eye on her child and fires them both. He tells them not to come back to the burger place.

Natalie is like thanks a lot to Joey and what is she supposed to do for money now? She says he can’t listen and that she told him to leave Faun alone. Natalie throws his stuff at him and tells him to get out. It’s not a good day in whatever the name of this town is.

Ben asks Pete why he doesn’t want to talk to him anymore. Pete says he has stuff with his girlfriend going on. He really says that. Ben continues to be pushy and wants to hang out. Ben says riding together all day was enough and Ben finally leaves.

Pete the rookie jerk goes in to see the captain. He’s going to spill the beans about the video, I just know it. He says he has some information about Eddie. The captain says he has a meeting, but to talk to his immediate boss and leaves. Pete says he’ll wait for the captain. His boss isn’t happy about him jumping the chain of command.

Ramsey goes to see Marcie. Ramsey says she looks great for having just had a baby. She’s like what the what? She goes outside and there’s a giant stork that says It’s a Boy for Randal & Alex!

Next week, Alex comes home and Brad acts like a normal person.

General Hospital

As always, I’m wondering how pizza will end up being the Quartermaines’ Thanksgiving dinner.

Paul is going to prepare the dinner, with Dillon as sous chef. That might explain how it’s going to happen.  I just can’t imagine Paul cooks that often.

Ava goes out to eat with Avery. I’m sure it’s at The Floating Rib. The waitress asks if she can take the order without Ava looking at a menu. Although everyone eats there so often, maybe they have it memorized.

Julian, Olivia and Leo join Molly and Christina (who?) at Alexis’s house.

Michael and Sabrrrina arrive at the Quartermaines. Jason was invited, but has yet to arrive.

Sam and Patrick are getting the table ready. Anna is there and Dr. Andre shows up. Patrick invited him. Dr. Andre is from Chicago (chicken in the car and the car won’t go – sorry, but that always pops into my head when I hear Chicago) and can’t get home for Thanksgiving. I’m wondering if he and Anna are going to end up together. He’s pretty fine looking.

Lulu and Rocco (I still laugh over a baby being named “Rocco”) get together with Laura at the restaurant.

Dante is watching football at home, which is probably what everyone else wishes they were doing. He’s about to sign the separation papers (I almost typed “commitment papers” – ha-ha!) and what a surprise, Valerie is at the door. Does that woman have no shame?

I’m hoping they’re not going to make me cry. Monica mentioned Ed, Lila and Alan, and I already feel on the edge. I miss them terribly. And while we’re on the subject, I miss the reading of the Christmas story. Once Alan died, they changed everything. Bah, humbug.

Ava shows up at Alexis’s and gets the door slammed in her face by Olivia. Nice, since she has the baby with her.

Paul goes to tend to the turkey. Dillon asks Tracy how she’d feel if Paul was seeing someone else. She says they’re just friends and he says he wishes he could feel the same about Lulu.

Valerie brings Dante a plate from the PCPD. Oh Lord, she notices the football game and is apparently a fan. Of course Dante asks her to stay.

Jason arrives at the Quartermaine mansion.

Commercial break. It’s that one for Clorox where the woman in the designer dress pours the bleach. I want to know if that’s an Oscar de la Renta dress, because it sure looks like one.

Julian lets Ava in. Olivia has a lot to say, but she’s overridden. Christina (who?) starts off by introducing herself and insulting Ava. So far, I’m not impressed with her.

Emma tells the story of A Christmas Carol, and how ghosts made Scrooge into a better person. Anna mulls this over, except Carrrlos ain’t no ghost.

Monica is the only one without an agenda in regard to Jason. She says she realizes his joining them doesn’t mean that he’s accepted them as his family, but she’s glad he’s there. Michael tells him about the baby, like no one has noticed Sabrrrina is pregnant. Jason talks about his visit to Helena (who is suddenly being called He-lain-a) and Elizabeth (who invited her?) says she’s dead and not coming back (I still don’t believe it). Young Jake drops a glass when he hears this. Did anyone ever bother deprogramming that kid?

Commercial break. A news blurb says that Frank Gifford’s brain is being donated to science research and I refrain from the many sarcastic comments in my head.

After dinner, Dr. Andre says he’s feeling like a turkey himself, and tells Anna he had no idea he was going to be having dinner with a patient.

Julian makes nice with Molly, who’s feeling generous because of the baby. Ava brings in some baked goods.

Valerie and Dante continue to watch the game. These are two of the stupidest people ever, since if history is any indication, Lulu will be coming by.

Lulu tells Laura she dropped off the separation papers, but hoped Dante would tear them up. She says she doesn’t feel like she can trust him, but she still loves him. Uh-huh. She’s going over there after dinner and you know it.

Elizabeth, who should have her children taken away from her by CPS, asks Jake if he’s okay. She asks if there’s anything he wants to talk about, and Michael interrupts, asking if Jake wants to go to the kitchen for cookies. I see what kind of father he’s going to be. The ignore it and it will go away kind.

Jason answers the door at the Quartermaines’ (because he lives there and they have no butler) and it’s Sam. From the look on his face, I don’t care what he’s saying, he still loves her. I actually like this actor a whole lot more than I ever did the original Jason (which I’m sure is an unpopular opinion).

Sam has brought Patrick and Danny with her. She says she didn’t know Jason would be there. (No inkling? Really? He’s Monica’s son, for Pete’s sake.) Sam goes with Danny to give Monica some flowers. Jason says to Patrick, “I take it you’re not a member of the Jason Morgan fan club?” And Patrick says, “Far from it.” We’re off to a great start. Although it’s probably not much different from many family gatherings at Thanksgiving.

Carrrlos texts Sabrrrina and I faint dead away because he is so smooth. Dr. Andre and Anna are having coffee. Anna says, “You know I killed someone and I know you’re single and from the Midwest.” Ha-ha! Dr. Andre says they’ll have to rely on each other’s discretion.  He asks if she’s free from the ghost of Carrrlos now. Anna just happens to have the pendant with her in a plastic bag and gives it to him, saying that ghosts don’t drop keepsakes. Oh, okay, so she’s not so jazzed she didn’t come to that conclusion. Hide, Carrrlos! Hide!

Laura asks Lulu what she’d do in an ideal world. She says she would fix it. Laura says maybe she can’t trust Dante, but she can trust in their love for one another. And she ought to know, since she’s certainly put in her time with Luke.

Valerie asks Dante if the papers came about because of her email thanking him. He says he can’t continue to be questioned about his every move. I’d agree with this if more time had passed, but it was five minutes ago and he continues to work with Valerie.

Lulu says she’s hurt and angry, but she doesn’t want to lose everything she loves. Laura says she should go and tell Dante how she really feels. Lulu says she’s going right now. Can I call them or what? Back at the apartment, Valerie’s team has a last minute win. They hug. And then they kiss. 3…2…1…

Ha-ha! Alexis says she cooked everything herself and Ava produces a receipt. Alexis says she didn’t lie; it was home cooked, just not by her.

Patrick says it’s unlikely Jason will regain his memory after all this time, which I know is true and he’s not saying it maliciously. Jason says he just hates disappointing the people who love him. Patrick says, “Like Sam?” because he can’t act like a grown-up at this moment, and Jason replies, “Like Sam,” because he is a grown-up.

Elizabeth has corralled Sam. She says they should find a way to get along for the boys’ sake. Sam’s like, sure, since you got what you wanted. Elizabeth takes that as a no and takes her marbles and goes to the other side of the room

Suddenly, the lights go out. So I guess it won’t be Paul’s fault.

HA! HA! HA! The rest of the neighborhood has power. It is Paul’s fault. They blew a fuse with the deep fryer. The side dishes hadn’t been heated up either. The oven is electric and the deep fryer is fried, so a generator is out. And the electrician is at his own Thanksgiving meal. Pizza is officially suggested. By Jason. A hush falls over the room.

Anna says either someone is messing with her or Carrrlos is alive. She says if he is, it gives her leverage with her blackmailer. Dr. Andre says she needs to be careful, but since they’ve already blurred the lines, to call him any time. And it doesn’t have to be for a session. Hmm…

Paul gets a text that a shipment is coming in and he calls Ava to be ready. I expect to never know what’s in that shipment, since I still don’t know what Sonny imports after all these years.

The pizza arrives. Monica asks Jason if he remembers the yearly pizza incidents, but he says no, he just thought it would be fast and easy. Monica is like okay…. Michael gives a toast that’s as boring as he is, and gives thanks for Jason’s return. He quotes Jason as having said, “The secret to living well is not to stay down.” Whether he remembers or not, Michael says, Jason is surrounded by people who love him and welcome home.

They sing We Gather Together and I tear up, getting serious nostalgia feels. Thanks for keeping the Thanksgiving traditions alive, GH!

Laura suggests Lulu wait. Dante pushes Valerie away, but she dives right back in. Witch! They start getting naked. Double witch! I hate them both.

Everyone in Port Charles says what they’re grateful for. Mostly jobs in a world where most soap operas are but a distant memory and they’re still going after 50 years.

Next week – tomorrow is a rerun and it’s college football on Friday (pfft!)  — things come to a head between Dante and Lulu.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! See you after Z-Nation on Friday.


November 23, 2015 — GH, a Yachtee Reunion & Quotes


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Carrrlos makes tea and toast for Sabrrrina – to settle her stomach after the shock of seeing him.

Paul tells Ava that Kiki has been arrested.

Nathan asks Kiki if she’s hungry because they have donuts. Hahahahaha! Imagine that. Donuts in a police station.

Lulu brings Maxie back to the apartment to get some things. She says it’s officially over with Dante.

Sam comes home to Patrick. He asks how the trip was. How much time does he have? He asks if she found what she was looking for and she says she did. What? A dead Helena? Not that I believe it. Sam says the way Nicholas reacted, she “thinks” Helena is dead. Since he had virtually no reaction, I’m wondering what she’s talking about. She says when she was with Jason, it felt like she was with a buddy, not her husband.

Dante whines to Michael that he should have seen what was going on with Morgan. Then he whines about Lulu accusing him of something he didn’t do.

Lulu says she wants to tear the place apart for signs of Valerie cheating with Dante. Maxie tells her don’t go down that road, and then Lulu finds a renegade lipstick tube in the bathroom.

Ava asks Paul to do something to help Kiki. He acts like he never heard of such a thing before. He says if he starts cleaning up her messes, it will be a red flag that they’re working together. Okay…

Jordan tells Nathan he has a personal connection to the case, and she’ll be handling Kiki’s case from now on. Like this has ever been an issue before.

Carrrlos says circumstances allowed him to fake his own death, then asks Sabrrrina if it’s his baby she’s having.

Dr, Andre comes to visit Morgan at the hospital. (Maddox, his name is Andre Maddox.) Dr. Andre asks if anything has been stressing him out, and Morgan says pretty much his whole life. I can identify. Dr. Andre says he wouldn’t be a good doctor if he went by someone else’s diagnosis, so he wants to run some tests to see what’s up with Morgan.

Christina – the mystery kid who shows up once in a while – is there for Thanksgiving. Dr. Andre tells Sonny it’s too early for a diagnosis and he wants to observe Morgan for a while.

Sabrrrina tells Carlos it’s not his baby and she’s with Michael now. He’s not buying it and neither am I. What’s she going to do when that baby comes out with a moustache and beard?

Paul asks Jordon what’s up with arresting Kiki like he doesn’t know it all already. Jordan fills him in, but says they probably won’t be able to get the DUI to stick, since there were no tests taken. Ava arrives and tells Kiki not to say anything until she gets a lawyer and Kiki tells her to piss off.

Maxie tells Lulu that the lipstick was a Christmas gift from her, which apparently she wasn’t too crazy about. Lulu says she can never trust Dante again, and Dante walks in. He asks what they’re doing there. Is he a total idiot? Don’t answer that. I already know.

Morgan, Sonny and Carly have a conversation so boring, I tune out.

Lulu says she’s there to pick up some stuff. Dante sees the separation papers and Lulu says he was the one who said they’re done. Dante starts getting stupid, making up things that haven’t happened yet. Lulu tells Maxie to hit the road. She and Dante need to talk.

Sam says she had to go halfway around the world to find out her answers were inside her all the time. Then she clicks her ruby slippers and tells Patrick she realizes how much she loves him.

Carrrlos says since everyone thinks he’s dead, they’re free to leave the country. Sabrrrina says her life is there with her baby’s father. If she doesn’t want to go, I will totally volunteer for this mission. Idiot Michael knocks at the door and interrupts my fantasy.

Michael is banging at the door and Carrrlos isn’t budging. Sabrrina says if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll hide in her bedroom while she answers the door. He makes a smart remark about her bedroom, but gets off the couch. Sabrrrina asks Michael to bring the car around while “she looks for her scarf.”

Lulu says she doesn’t see any other way. Dante says they need to work it out. Lulu says she doesn’t want to even look at the bed he and Valerie slept in. Dante suggests they move and asks how he can regain her trust.

Maxie (and Nathan?) are going to spend the holiday in Portland, but Maxie is doing some last minute work in the interrogation room because it’s quieter than the office.

Carly says she wants to drop the charges against Kiki. Jordan says it’s Paul’s call. Paul says it’s Thanksgiving and he’s in a good mood, so okay! Jordan lets Kiki go. Ava tries to get her to go to her place, but Kiki totally ignores her and leaves with Carly to see Morgan.

Since it’s Thanksgiving in Port Charles, I’m guessing we’re getting a rerun on the actual day.

Boring Sonny talks to boring Morgan, who says he should have gone to the doctor when they first told him to. He says he’s scared. Can we get back to Carrrlos?

Sam acts all ridiculous over how much she loves Patrick.

Sabrrina tells Carrrlos he can’t stay. He says he’ll go, but what happens next? She doesn’t answer him.

Lulu says Dante can’t glue things back together and ignore the cracks. I guess what she means by that is they can’t pretend nothing happened and need to get to the root of the problem.

Ava thanks Paul. He says he did it for Carly. Ava asks him if he’s falling for her trailer park allure. He says that’s not it, that it’s to deflect the attention from himself. Paul tells her to keep her eye on the prize – bringing down Sonny.

More boring stuff with Sonny and Morgan. Carly brings in Kiki. Morgan apologizes and Kiki says she’s just glad he’s all right. Carly asks her to join them for Thanksgiving dinner in the cafeteria.  Bobbie shows up with some huge bags of food. They have everything set up by the time the commercial break is over.

Maxie says that she’s putting work aside until Monday and her attention is now totally on Nathan and Georgie. I guess he is going.

Carrrlos is not believing that Sabrrrina’s baby isn’t his, and says he’s not going anywhere. He says this to himself, since she left with Michael.

Sonny runs down all the problems everyone has and what they should be grateful for. Zzzzzzz….

Lulu leaves Dante alone in the apartment. How long before Valerie shows up?

Paul has to go to the Quartermaines’. Ava asks if he’d like to stay for dinner, but he says his son is expecting him.

I am going to pass out if Sonny doesn’t stop talking. Honestly, I can’t take it.

Tomorrow, I’m right about Valerie, and a Quartermaine Thanksgiving. Pizza for everyone!

Below Deck – Reunion Part 1

This time, the yachtees get out of the clubhouse and get a real reunion room.

We start off with TMI from Emile. Moving on immediately. They talk about their favorite charter guests this season, and I’m with Eddie that it was Steve with his foam party.

We get to see a little behind-the-scenes, and wow! it’s close quarters with the film crew there. It’s pretty amazing that we never even see them by accident. Andy asks who the blip Rocky is looking at during her individual interviews, because she  tends to look up at the sky. She says sparkling butterflies and I wouldn’t be surprised. Eddie says something innocuous, and Rocky asks if his girlfriend is there, like the nasty brat she is.

Amy gets it right in saying that Kate is no-nonsense, wants to get the job done, and on a charter there’s no time for fooling around. Rocky whines about how underappreciated she was, but Captain Lee says she’s not giving an accurate depiction of how she was treated. He says she didn’t set her personal sh*t aside. Even Andy says she was a big complainer. Kate says she had no experience when she said she did. Kate says she’d prefer not having her professional and personal character slandered when all she wants is to get her job done.

Andy says Connie flourished while Rocky floundered. Eddie says he and Kate’s styles are different, but I say it’s more like Connie has a work ethic. Rocky acts offended because although Amy sympathized with her, she was still friendly to Kate. Because she’s in middle school. Rocky says she felt bullied by Kate and Kate should get a medal for hurting people’s feelings.

Andy pulls out the tweets. Kate had a lot to say about Rocky, and Rocky says she’s straight-up evil. Why is it so many people don’t understand that it’s called work for a reason?

Andy talks about Eddie’s full plate: losing two deckhands while training a new one, and dealing with his girlfriend. And of course there’s the whole Rocky debacle. He admits to letting his personal business get in the way of his work business. Connie says Eddie was a fantastic teacher and never made her feel inferior. Maybe that’s because she actually paid attention.

Andy asks Emile if it’s hard to be “pretty.” He says that he often has to work against type. I guess we’re leaving his emotional IQ out of this conversation. Andy brings up Emile calling Connie a “whore” for absolutely no reason. He says he can’t and won’t even try to justify it. Connie is a good sport though, saying she has brothers and is used to having her buttons pushed. Emile talks about coming from South Africa and the conflict there. Captain Lee pats Emile on the back for picking himself back up even when he made errors.

Andy brings up the undercooked (dare we say “raw?”) chicken that Rocky cooked for the crew. Amy says the salad was great, and the parts that were cooked were healthy and good. Andy reads a tweet from someone who says no culinary school would suggest grenadine on oysters. Rocky says she just did it to add color. Amy says she has a hard time taking instruction. Rocky says when she cooked the guests’ dinner, they loved it. We flash back to that and, no.

Amy says that Rocky was difficult, and Rocky runs down a list of complaints, including how much of an a-hole Eddie was. Kate says nobody wants to hear it and she’s talked enough. Rocky says, “You’re not my chief stew right now, baby,” and I want to smack her. I hate when people say “baby” or “honey” or whatever in a derogatory way. It’s worse when it’s a man, but I don’t like when a woman does it either.

Kate says she got tips she didn’t earn. Even though Rocky says she hated being a stew, it turns out she’s working for Captain Alex from season one (he was Captain Lee’s second in command). We’ll see how that goes. He didn’t seem like an idiot.

We move on to how Emile eats like a Neanderthal. Andy says he’s a lesson on how not to get a date – drink excessively, say mildly creepy things, creep out your date so much she has to dive overboard. Ha-ha! Rocky says she was never serious about him. Andy asks if Rocky led him on, and Emile says yes. Of course it’s yes. We all saw it. Rocky apologizes and says she’s glad they can still be friends, adding insult to injury. They talk about the kiss off letter Rocky publicly left for Emile because she couldn’t end things like an adult, and she acts like it was the only option. Captain Lee interjects that she led Emile on and needs to own it. He says, “When you get caught with your tit in the wringer, guess what? You put it there,” and I fall off my chair. I love the captain’s witticisms and this one is a classic.

Don the Engineer comes out. He says usually how it works is that you’re an engineer first and deckhand second. Connie says no matter how specific the instructions, he wanted to do it his way, and that’s not how it works on charter. Even Emile sounds more mature than Don. Andy asks why he would jeopardize his job by following Rocky into the water, and he has no sensible answer. They move on to his leaving mid-charter.

Andy says Don’s replacement, Dane, was invited, but has cut off all communication. I guess his 15 minutes wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Andy asks when Captain Lee realized Dane was a problem. The captain recalls him driving the jet ski into side of boat, drinking half a bottle of Jack on his break, and says there was an endless list. Andy asks how close Eddie and Dane were to coming to blows. Eddie says that the night of the beach party, it was late and the owners were leaving. They were gracious enough to tell them to continue to drink, but write it down on the bill. Dane took it as free reign to go crazy.

To his credit, Don apologizes to the captain and the entire crew for leaving them in the lurch. Exit Don.

Emile looks like he’s going to fall asleep. A stagehand brings him something in a can. Probably either Red Bull or or one of those cheap vodka drinks.

They talk about the battle between Kate and Chef Leon. We get some flashbacks of his idiocy. Kate says she’s never had such a toxic relationship with a co-worker. Andy says she can be a snob about being a yachtee. I don’t think she started out that way with him though and it is a certain way of working. Chef Leon also declined to come to the reunion. Rocky is still in contact with him, and says that when he left, he was done. She starts tearing up for some stupid reason and acts like he was treated unfairly because he was criticized behind his back. Amy says Rocky did her share and we see that. They forget all this stuff is on film, and think we have short term memory loss. Kate says his cooking was repetitive and he was a one-trick pony wit hthe beef cheeks, but the real problem is that he couldn’t go with the flow and he lacked skill. Emile says he talks to him too. He’s working on a yacht and it was just the wrong boat for him. This could be true. I had a musical comedy class like that. I took it nearly three times before I realized it just wasn’t a good fit. Eddie says he didn’t seem to care and could have been more passionate and respectful. He did not come off well in some of his individual interviews either. In one, he said he liked to make the girls working for him in the kitchen cry. Rocky acts like he never sad that and it was completely due to editing. Captain Lee says no one told him what to say. He points out a few other nasty things Leon did and said, and calls Rocky out. Go, Captain Lee!

They discuss the fire. Rocky again says it was the fault of the empty pans being in the oven. Once again, Captain Lee interjects, saying it was the skuzzy oven, and that Rocky had even mentioned how filthy it was the day before. He says it was also Leon’s responsibility not to be napping when the guests wanted food. Rocky says she saw a mug nearby with wine in it. I know where she’s going with this and she is such a freaking snot rag.

Rocky says she told Eddie that Kate had been drinking from the mug and Eddie poured it out saying, we take care of our own. Andy asks Kate if she was drinking. Kate says she’d been making popcorn for the guests, and when she went back downstairs, the place was on fire. She also says it

Next : Eddie did it again with Rocky after the show???! What is wrong with him?

Quotes of the Week from The People’s Couch

Because I can’t pick just one.

I’m getting dumber just witnessing it. Brandy, referring to Eddie and Rocky from Below Deck, talking about who initiated their hook up.

I wanna be with them when the damn zombie apocalypse jump off. That’s who you want to be with. Mr. Zeno referring the The Alaskan Bush People.

I’m not going to limit my life to this little rectangle. Teddi, referring to her tablet.

November 23, 2015 — GH,SUR & Vicki


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Anna makes an appointment with Dr. Andre, but says she has nothing to say. Well, there’s a waste of everyone’s time and money. Dr. Andre says he thinks it all has something to do with Duke. I finally had to look up Dr. Andre’s name, since no one will say it. I can’t believe I can’t get it to stick in my head when I used to go to a Dr. Andre.

Michael asks Sabrina why she canceled the sono.

Carly tells Sonny she thinks Morgan is in trouble. To back this up, Morgan acts like he’s out of his mind at the cabin. He runs outside and Kiki hears a gunshot.

Jason asks Helena how he can get his memory back.

Carly says Morgan has been more reckless than usual and she thinks he’s building to a manic episode. Building? He’s there. Morgan tells Kiki he just shot at a branch, but he’s sure there’s something out there and to stay inside and get down. Great.

Anna says peace isn’t an option for her at this point and she has a flashback of shooting Carrrlos. She tells Dr. Andre she was thinking about Duke.

Sabrrrina says the more she invests in the baby, the greater she’ll feel the loss if she doesn’t go to term. Michael asks if she’s not afraid he won’t stick around, and that he won’t be like that; he can’t wait for the baby to come. Until it comes out with an accent. Michael’s phone rings. It’s Kiki who tells him Morgan needs him.

Sam asks if there isn’t an antidote. Helena says Sam has an overactive imagination. She says she had nothing to do with Jason’s memory loss and there’s no such thing as an amnesia drug. (Ok, but I guess you can freeze someone for years and they wake up good as new.) Jason realizes that he lost his memory when he was in the car accident and Helena wasn’t involved with that. Jason asks who else knew his real identity. I doubt Helena is going to out Nicholas, but who knows with her.

Kiki explains what’s going on and Michael rushes out. Felix comes in and scolds Sabrrrina for not telling Michael about her concern that it’s Carrrlos’s baby.

Anna talks about her relationship with Duke, the ups and downs, and how they still loved each other no matter what. She said they became agonizingly close to making it, but then he was gunned down, collapsed when he got to her, and died in the hospital. Check Cassadine Island. Maybe he’s in the freeze tank. She tells the doctor that Julian was the man behind the murder, but Carrrlos carried it out. Instead of going after Carrrlos to turn state’s evidence, she killed him.

Carly and Sonny argue over who’s responsible for Morgan not seeing a shrink. I guess it couldn’t possibly be Morgan, since he’s 12. Michael pops into the gym and tells them that he heard from Kiki and thinks he knows where they are.

Kiki can’t find Morgan and picks up the phone to call Carly. Morgan comes in behind her and asks who she’s calling.

Helena likes how Jason gets to the point. She says she’s a connoisseur of irony and the room is filled with it. Boy, did she get that right. She calls out all the idiots as always. She reminds Elizabeth of her baby charade, and says she (meaning herself) has done worse, but never claimed to be an innocent flower. Sam tells her to quit stalling and Nicholas says she’s not, she doesn’t know the answer. Au contraire, Helena says, she’s going to make their trip worthwhile. I love her so much!

Anna says according to criminal justice, she murdered Carrrlos, even though she tried to kid herself that she did the world a good deed. Dr. Andre says he’s choosing to keep her confidence, and she needs to process what she did and how it’s affected her view of herself. Anna tells him someone else knows and is holding it over her head.

Carly and Michael leave for the cabin. Epiphany tells Sonny he has to stay. I’m sure she’ll be sitting at the mob boss table in no time, since she has the personality for it.

Morgan wants to know why Kiki was trying to call Carly, since they’re in this together. She tells him he’s making her nervous with the gun and to put it down. Surprisingly, he does. Then he tries to put the moves on her.

Helena tells Jason that the life he had is over, and he should figure out how to work with what he has now. Jason asks again who knew he was Jason. Helena starts to tell him and – you’ve got to be kidding me – she goes unconscious. With no warning? This is just not fair and I am not amused.

Anna says she can’t risk exposing her blackmailer. She says she’s going to comply until she’s in a position to turn the tables. Time’s up! Dr. Andre says it was a positive step and Anna thanks him.

Elizabeth tries CPR. The doctor comes in and pronounces Helena dead. I refuse to believe it. Nicholas tells the doctor to fix it and he says he can’t. I still refuse to believe it. Nicholas says he wants “a moment,” and the others leave. He tells Helena that he assumes she didn’t want it to end like this. And I still refuse to believe it. We thought Glenn from The Walking Dead was dead too, until last night. Get that woman into the freezer stat!

Carly shows up at the cabin with Michael and Max. Michael gives the gun to Max. Morgan whines that no one is taking Kiki away from him. Has he confused her with the gun? Carly says they’re there to help him.

Felix wants to cancel his Thanksgiving plans, but Sabrrrina says she can handle things and that she finally sees a way forward.

Anna thought she saw a way forward, but then sees Carrrlos. I guess that session didn’t exactly set everything right. I swear, Carrrlos is getting more play on this show dead than he did alive.

Epiphany says Carly is very capable and a great mom, so Sonny has nothing to worry about. She tells him that he’s no angel, but he’s always done right by his children. Sonny frets that Morgan got his mental illness from him.

Morgan insists Kiki doesn’t want to leave. Kiki says she’s the one who called Michael. Carly tells Morgan that she’s sure he’s feeling awesome right now, but it’s going to change when he comes down. He says he’s changed his mind about seeing a shrink and doesn’t want to. Carly says she loves him and won’t give up on him. She says if he gets evaluated at the hospital, and they say there’s nothing wrong, she’ll back off. Morgan tries to leave, but Max grabs him

Elizabeth tries to say everything’s cool and let’s go home. Jason says too bad about Helena, he wants to know the truth now. Nicholas tells him the Jason he knew wouldn’t be wallowing in self-pity, so apparently his face isn’t the only thing that changed. I’m not sure where he’s getting the self-pity thing from though. Why shouldn’t he want to know?

Anna chases Carrrlos’s ghost and finds a pendant on the ground. It’s engraved with Carrrlos and Sabrrrina. Just as I’m about to say that ghosts don’t wear jewelry, Carrrlos shows up at Sabrrrina’s door. YEEESSS! Although it’s probably not good to startle a pregnant woman like that.

Jason attacks Nicholas. He tells him to go ahead and grieve, but he’ll see him later. The doctor says Helena’s passing was unexpected, that he thought she had at least a few months. Well, I think she still does because I don’t believe it. Elizabeth takes Jason by the hand like he’s one of her kids and they leave with Sam in the rear.

Nicholas tells Helena that he hated her as much as he respected her, that she was elegant, fearless and didn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thought about her. He says he’ll find a way to grieve and I fully expect her to sit up and slap him upside the head.

Sonny tells Epiphany how he hid his illness so no one would think he was weak, and he gave Morgan the same attitude. He says Morgan doesn’t want to take the medication and give up the highs, and admits he feels the same way, but still takes his meds.

Morgan tells Carly and Kiki he hates them as Max and Michael drag him out the door.

Tomorrow, more Carrrlos!

Vanderpump Rules

Katie has a fashion blog, and is discussing her vision with Scheana. Scheana fills in Katie and Schwartz on her talk with Lisa about Shay. Schwartz has been knocked for a loop that Shay is having addiction problems. Well, Scheana was good at keeping it a secret and then let everyone know at once.

Scheana is doing a photo shoot for Katie’s blog, but she’s having a hard time putting on her happy face.

Lala is at the SUR register and Jax comes over to bother her. Jax is just so undesirable, I don’t get why all the ladies are attracted to him. I guess Lala is from Utah, and Jax asks some obscene TMI questions about Mormons. We all know Jax has a foot fetish and it makes me think about that too. Lisa breaks up the conversation because, you know, you’re supposed to work at work.

Lisa basically says don’t crap in your own backyard, and doesn’t like that out of all the women in L.A., Jax has to bug her hostess. Jax’s not-a-girlfriend-yet is going to be moving to L.A. and Lisa says she’s in for some disappointment since Jax doesn’t know what the word “commitment” means.

The guys all go for a night out. James talks about how often he and Kristen break up. He says all they do is fight until they find something new to fight about. They’re going for counseling, and Tom says the therapist is going to end up needing a therapist. Schwarz is acting all mature and talking about getting a real job.

Jax asks what they think about Lala. James is obviously getting quite intoxicated and a lot of animation goes along with it. He says something that barely makes sense; so much so, that I can’t even put it together in my head to type out.

James wakes up with a hangover – and Kristen in his face. Who needs this kind of life? She talks to him like she’s his mom. He says he’s been away for 38 seconds, and it’s already the worst day of his life.

They go to couples therapy. Kristen says she’s been going to therapy for 9 months (!) already and it’s done a world of good. I think she’s wasting her money. The therapist says it sounds like there’s some unhealthy things happening. This is an understatement. She says they have to stop the retaliation thing. James lists the lies that Kristen has told in the past, and says she tries to parent him. (What did I say?) Kristen claims he has a lack of responsibility. She talks about him cheating with her ex-friend, Jenna. James lied and told her that he only made out with Jenna, so I’m not sure if she considers that cheating or if she knows he really did have sex with Jenna. The therapist asks if they want to work it out or do they just want to stay angry and keep hurting each other? Kristen says what they’re doing isn’t working (another understatement) and James heaves a huge sigh.

Swartz, Ariana, Tom and Katie are triple dating with Peter and his girlfriend, Sara. Sara has a 4 year old, and Schwartz says they’ve never met a grown-up before. Ha-ha! They all discuss their views on marriage. Tom says he could see getting married, but Ariana isn’t so sure that’s what she wants. Everyone looks at Schwartz because it’s down to the wire with Katie’s proposal ultimatum.

Tom brings up Shay. Schwartz says it’s obvious he and Scheana aren’t communicating. Well, yeah, he hasn’t been home in days. Ariana says they’re both good at putting up a happy front. They talk about Shay’s drinking and how it’s just depressing him more. Tom says because Shay isn’t bringing in the bucks right now, he feels inferior. He thinks they should have a couple’s intervention.

James flirts with Lala at the first opportunity.

Tom and Schwartz want to approach Lisa about an idea. Schwartz says that he’s been on enough auditions to know you have to dress the part, so they wear their business attire. Or what passes for that in L.A. They go to Lisa’s phenomenal house, Villa Rosa. First, Tom talks about Shay. They agree that he’s feeling emasculated. Tom asks if Lisa could give him a job at PUMP. She says he needs to get clean and sober before he can execute a work plan, and she doesn’t think working in a bar will help. She does say that she’s impressed with their concern for their friend. So am I.

Pandora and her husband, Jason, are also there, looking gorgeous as ever. Tom talks about how he goes back to St. Louis once a year and he’s well-known there and wants to promote Lisa’s sangria. Pandora says she gets it, but she thinks it should be a global endeavor. Lisa says the guys probably don’t quite understand how big this could be. Pandora says they constantly get resumés, but of course they’d rather go with local people they know. She says they’d have to take it seriously, not like they do their jobs at SUR. Lisa tells them to think about it. Schwartz says walking out with a homework assignment wasn’t ideal, but it was better than a no.

Schwartz and Katie come to visit Scheana, who’s waiting for Shay to come home. Tom and Ariana follow. Scheana says Shay is more comfortable talking in a group setting, so she’s invited them there for…what? I guess to discuss their issues. Shay comes in. Hugs all around.  Shay and Scheana both start crying.

Shay says he’s been going through a lot of personal stuff and he’s been staying with his parents. He says he got everyone’s messages, but needed space. Tom asks if he feels like he’s addicted to the. Shay says he’s been taking five a day and at max, ten. I’m pretty sure no doctor is prescribing ten a day unless you’re dying. He says he’s been on them since he’s known them, which is definitely news. He says he was afraid of being judged, so he never said anything. Scheana says she didn’t realize she’d married an addict and she feels like he’s miserable with her. She says she’s been unhappy and lonely, and why did he marry her? Tom tells her to pull back. Shay says he’s intimidated by her, that when he expresses himself, she interrupts him and controls the conversation. He says he’d rather just stay in the background. Ariana says Shay needs to be more assertive and Scheana needs to give it a rest.

Shay apologizes and says he’s back to stay. He says he has to work on some things and Scheana says he needs to be more forward and cut her off. He needs to tell her to stop and let him finish. I like the both of them and hope they’re able to work things out. I don’t think either one of them is the brightest bulb in the box, but that’s less important than their good hearts.

Jax brings not-quite-a-girlfriend, Britney, in for an interview at PUMP. Once again, she shows up underdressed. Lisa asks for her resumé, and once again, she doesn’t have it. Has she ever had a job before? Lisa asks where she’s worked. Hooters. I’m not making that up either. Yes, I know it’s a job, but she might as well have said McDonald’s. Lisa says it’s good she didn’t bring her resumé, because it gives her a reason to say it’s not going to work out. She tells Britney that it’s a problem because she’s dating Jax. Jax says they don’t have to work at the same restaurant, but she tells them inter-company dating isn’t encouraged. Bye, Felicia.

Shay and Scheana are having dinner on tray tables. She says she can’t wait until they eat like humans at a real dining table. He feels he hasn’t been able to get a word in edgewise, and she says she’s working on it. Shay says he wants to leave the person he was behind. Apparently, Scheana doesn’t understand addiction, because she says in her individual interview that she doesn’t think a completely sober person would be fun to be married to, and thinks it’s okay for him to just get a buzz on once in a while. Then she presents him with a drug test, and says she’ll give him a pass on weed. If I was him, I’d be stocking up on those loose joints from the park right now. She says she wants to be able to trust him again, and I get where she’s coming from, but geez. Overwhelm him why don’t you?

Cool! Julie and Brandy from The People’s Couch are doing commercials for Bravo now – and hosting the Vanderpump Rules after show.

Scheana sits down with Lisa. She says that they had a good conversation and thinks they’re on the right track. Lisa says that he’s been on drugs for 8 years, so it’s not going to happen overnight. Lisa says how does she know he’s not lying? Scheana says because she’s giving him urine tests. Lisa says that’s not the foundation for a healthy marriage.

Next week, Kristen and James call it quits, and Kristen confronts Lala about James. Scheana continues to be delusional.

Watch What Happens Live – One on One with Vicki Gunvalson

Andy starts off with discussing City of Hope having issued a statement that they’d never treated Brooks. Vicki talks about how she actually met him there, supposedly after a chemo treatment, and they were all over the place. I gotta hand it to him. If this was a ruse, it was certainly a complicated one. Seriously.

Andy asks if she was vulnerable because her love tank was empty. She says she definitely had blinders on about a lot of things. She says he was so attentive, it was like she had a wife. He sounds like he was a decent boyfriend. It’s just all so bizarre.

They go through a lot of the medical stuff, how it didn’t make sense, and how Brooks had an answer for everything. She says that once the women started “circling,” she was arguing with him every night. She was obviously questioning the whole thing too, but what? Didn’t want it to blow up on TV? None of this makes me dislike Meghan any less though. I’ve said it before that I think the death of Vicki’s mother caused her to have a breakdown or a disconnect (word of the day) or whatever, and that the women’s approach to her was all wrong, especially Meghan, who she didn’t know from a hole in the ground.

Brooks did really show symptoms of being sick, and someone suggested to Vicki that he was ingesting eye drops (!) to get violently ill. Andy asks if she thinks he has cancer and she says no. Vicki says that she thinks because no one liked Brooks to begin with, he concocted this whole thing to get sympathy and be relatable. Again, my hat’s off to him for being so detailed and dedicated.

Andy says that the women, as well as many viewers, think she was in on it. I don’t. I think she was delusional and had the love blinders on, but I don’t think she was in on some kind of plot. Vicki makes individual public apologies to everyone. Vicki says she messed up by not believing the girls, but she wasn’t being malicious. She said she had to come to the truth in her own time. Andy reads a tweet (ugh!) from Gretchen, who is surprisingly sympathetic, especially since she lost her fiancé to cancer.

Vicki says if she had it to do over, she wouldn’t have divorced Don. She’s going to see him over Thanksgiving. Oddly enough the psychic who started the whole Brooks thing had said they would get back together. Vicki says that would be great from her end, but she doesn’t think Don has gotten over the hurt.

Andy asks if she’s afraid of Brooks. It doesn’t seem so, and really, there isn’t much he can do to her. Send mean tweets? Please.

Vicki talks about the position she was in. Her mother dying, Brooks having been diagnosed (as far as she knew), her family being far away, and being all alone filming a reality show. She said it was easier to fix what she had than to start over. Andy asks if she’s in denial over the severity of the situation. She says she hopes Brooks loved her, doubts he did, but she’s not in denial.

Vicki looks good. The whole thing is just sad, and I hope she’s able to move on. I think she is. It’s those others I’m concerned about.

November 22, 2015 — Atlanta & the Dead


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra is treating Porsha to a colonic. A colonic is the new brunch. I’m on the fence as to whether those are really a good idea or not. Oh I see, the people who administer them are called “colonic therapists” now.  Phaedra stays in the room and Porsha makes a bunch of noises when it starts. TMI right off the bat.

Porsha says that a couple of the ladies brought up some tabloid headlines that were about her new boyfriend, Duke (what is he, royalty or a Great Dane?), like him dating a transgender woman. Porsha doesn’t care as long as he has a package and he’s breathing. Phaedra goes on and on about how Apollo’s motorcycle was at Kandi’s house when the tax man was looking for it. As Kandi said last week, I think he was looking for more than that, but Phaedra wants to misdirect her anger.

There’s also a dog wandering around the colonic room. Never mind, it was Kandi’s dog as one scene was edited into another.

Peter hasn’t contacted Cynthia in a week. I’d change the locks. She’s interviewing tutors for her daughter and both her assistant, Leon, and the potential tutor are fine looking men. She does not need Peter. Nope. Not at all. Unless she wants to lose every penny she makes and be embarrassed for the rest of her life.

Leon talks to Cynthia about her Peter issues. Leon says she’s walked away from a lot of relationships and he thinks it’s worth fighting for. What?! Why? This makes Cynthia want to reevaluate things. Thanks, Leon. She had a foot out the door.

Commercial break and important information. Andy will be doing a one-on-one interview with Vicki on Watch What Happens Live, Monday at 8:30 pm.

Porsha has signed up for a celebrity charity track meet. D list apparently.  I don’t recognize one other person and I watch a lot of crap. Oh, wait, is that Carrie Underwood? How did she get talked into something like this? It’s not even a real race; they’re doing sprints and acting like it’s a triathlon.

Friends are suggesting Porsha do a background check on Duke, but I don’t even think she googled him. Porsha says she wishes they’d just be supportive. Honey, that is being supportive. You don’t have a brain, so they’re looking out for you.

Kenya is having a Kenya Moore Experience event to promote her haircare brand. The event planner is the same one Cynthia used for her sunglasses launch. Kenya asks Marlo what up at Cynthia’s event with Sheree? and suggests they have a pay-the-rent party for her. I remember those.

Cynthia says it doesn’t feel good to come home to an empty bed. I have a suggestion, get rid of Peter and fill that space with someone else. He’s not even returning her calls. I have no clue what she sees in this Neanderthal.

Kim and her husband are going to Kenya’s event, and are excited about the prospect of going out sans children.  She has such beautiful hair and did that platinum highlight thing that I hate. Why? She seems to have a really great relationship with her husband and has done really well with her life, which is good to see when there are so many horror stories of too much too soon with young actors.

After giving explicit instructions about wanting the air conditioners blasting, it’s hot at the event. Porsha and her plus one friend are ragging on Kenya, but since Porsha only seems up to the task of letting a man take care of her, I don’t think she should be criticizing Kenya’s efforts. I’ve grown to like Kenya. At least she can form a sentence and do basic math.

Kim shows up and a lot of flashbulbs pop. Kim says she’s not impressed with a lot of people, but gives Kandi props. The heat plus Kandi’s pregnancy is not working though, and she has to leave. Kim says it’s not her and her husband’s ideal date, but beggars can’t be choosers. Sheree comes in.

Kenya makes her entrance. She has a man with her whose name I forgot already. Needless to say, she’s not thrilled with the temperature. Cynthia says Kenya twirled out faster than she twirled in. Ha-ha!

Miss Lawrence arrives! I’d forgotten he and Kenya are friends. Kenya  gets on the mic and apologizes about the heat. She thanks the people who worked on the event and tells everyone to have a good time. Eugene is the name of the guy she’s with.

Sheree says she doesn’t know if she can trust Kenya since she still wears color contacts in 2015. Okay… Shree throws more shade, and Kenya asks if she can speak to her on the side. Kenya thanks her for coming, but asks what’s up. Sheree says Kenya shouldn’t have talked about her unfinished house at Cynthia’s event. Kenya says she wasn’t making that big a deal about it, they talk contractors, and they make peace. We’ll see. Sheree is kind of a dim bulb.

Cynthis tells Peter he acted inappropriately at the party. He says he was ambushed by her friends about the video. She says if you give people something to work with, they’re going to work with it. Yep. He says he flashed back to their wedding when she came down the staircase, and all there’s been is work since they got married. Welcome to that thing we call “life.” Cynthia says there’s a disconnect between them. He seems to think it’s because they don’t spend enough time together and says it’s her fault. Cynthia says she freakin’ moved here from NYC for him for Pete’s sake, when he built that stupid bar and lost their money. He whines that it’s not his fault. She says she’s not saying that, but she’s unhappy and maybe she’s not in love with him anymore. He asks when she stopped and she doesn’t know. He says he never stopped being in love with her, but she says she doesn’t feel it and he doesn’t show it.

He says he’s been watching them drift apart, but he can’t stop doing what he’s doing (I have no idea what he means by that). He whines some more. Cynthia says they can give it one more go, but it’s not happy at present and is he up for that challenge? He says that when they’re as deep in love as they’ve been, there’s no back door. They’re definitely at odds as to divorce being an option. He says he’ll do whatever it takes. She says that she’s not going to say it’s going to be okay, just because he wants it to be. My hat’s off to her. She’s finally grown a pair.

Next week, the ladies go on a yacht day trip and there’s a lot of finger-in-your-face arguing.

The Walking Dead

Flashback to Glenn getting ripped apart. Wait. He’s not getting ripped apart. It’s Nicholas, the guy on top of him, and he scrunches underneath the dumpster. This is in a snow globe or it’s a dream, isn’t it?

Lots of zombies wandering around while Glenn looks to see how much water he has left. He emerges in the morning. The first thing I’d be doing is looking for a weapon. He looks for water instead. Hey. Stop making that crinkly noise with the bottle.

Enid yells to him from the top of the wall and tosses him some water. I’d totally forgotten about her. Glen climbs into the building and calls to Enid. He asks what happened in Alexandria. She says it’s what always happens, people die. He asks if the zombie horde broke in and what was the air horn sound. She tells him he should go. He asks if Maggie is okay.

Enid runs off and Glen follows. Okay, I guess they fooled us with his “death,” eh? Very clever. Ha-ha-ha. Now bring back that goat from the Morgan episode.

Rick sees Morgan and says he’d like to talk later. He checks out the blood that was dripping down the wall after the zombie attack. He sees Maggie at the lookout point, watching for Glenn. Rick says they’ve come back from harder things, and all of them will return. I wonder who kidnapped Rick and replaced him with this optimistic guy.

Glenn sees a zombie with his eyeball stuck to a fence and stabs him in the head. I’m sure there’s absolutely no reason for this scene except for us to see the stuck eyeball. He finds a note we assume was written by said zombie when they were alive.

Creepy Father Gabrielle is posting a notice for a prayer service. I don’t want him praying with me or for me. Rick is giving Ron gun lessons. Is anyone making bullets? That would be a lucrative profession right now. Rick gives Ron a gun so he gets used to the feel of it. It’s not going to be loaded until he learns more, but he seems a little eager to use it and I’m not liking that.

Morgan is about to talk to Denise, who has the idea Morgan is not as fine as he says he is. Rick comes by and asks Morgan to talk and they go to a mini meeting with Carol and Michonne. Carol has told Rick that Morgan refused to kill the Wolfs. Morgan says he doesn’t want to kill anyone he doesn’t have to and that Rick didn’t try to kill him way back when. He says he doesn’t know what’s right anymore, that he wanted to kill them because of what they do, but there is still the possibility that they might change, and that all life is precious. He doesn’t want to let that idea go. Michonne says he might have to. Morgan asks if they want him to go. Rick asks him if he really thinks he can stay and not end up with blood on his hands.

The zombie horde is banging on the walls of Alexandria. Rick tells Michonne they need to get to their cars and go back to diverting the zombies. He doesn’t want to tell anyone else because there isn’t time and that they haven’t even had time to catch their breaths. She says they’re doing that right now. She reminds me of one of the video exercise instructors I follow who thinks jumping jacks are a resting move. Dieanna comes out with plans for the new Alexandria.

Eugene is at zombie killing lessons and not paying attention. The instructor tells him it doesn’t matter if you die, but if the people around you die, it’s worse because you have to live with knowing you didn’t do all you could. Perhaps she’s speaking from experience.

Glenn grabs Enid before she can get out the door. He says he’s taking her home. Enid refuses. Glenn is insistent and she draws a gun on him.

Commercial break. An episode of Fear 462. The stewardess is about to use a defibrillator on a patient and this is amusing since it’s Dr. Obrechy from General Hospital. There are a few familiar faces on this series.

Glenn tells Enid to give him the gun. For a moment, I wonder if he survived the zombies only to die here, but he takes it from her. He tells her half the herd broke off and is headed for Alexiandria, so they need to get back.

Rick compulsively works on the walls while reciting “all work and no play make rick a dull boy.” Tobin comes along and starts helping.

Enid puts a struggling zombie out of its misery. She and Glenn see some green balloons tied to a post. It’s Glenn’s birthday! Enid takes the balloons.

Blood is still oozing through the wall at Alexandria. Tobin says Rick scared the hell out of him when he first came. He said things had moved slow in Alexandria and then started moving too fast, and not to give up on the people there.

Enid tells Glenn she lived with Olivia in Alexandria, but she was really on her own. Glenn says he realizes she’s scared. Enid says she isn’t and not to lecture her. Glenn tries to talk to her, but she doesn’t want it right now.

Stupid Ron gets into where they keep the firearms and steals some bullets. We already know nothing good will come of this.

Glenn and Enid, who still has the balloons (way to draw attention to yourself), get to Alexadria and see a million zombies outside. Enid says the world is trying to die and they should let it. Glenn says they’re not supposed to let that happen and he’s not going to let her die.

Holy!  A Spencer is crawling across a wire above the zombies. Whoa! He almost drops into them. And he does drop into them. Tobin and Eugene shoot at the zombies as rick tries to pull Spencer back up the wall. This is pretty intense. He makes it. Rick asks what the hell they were doing and Tara gives him the finger. Spencer says he wanted to get to a car and divert the zombies. Rick says come to him first if he gets any more bright ideas.

Denise asks Morgan if everything is okay and he says it’s fine. He sees her “cheat sheets” for medical instructions. He asks how well their stocked for antibiotics. He says he needs to dress a wound and he’s not sure if it’s infected. She starts giving him the symptoms and he covers the cheat sheet, but she still knows. He says he didn’t know if he should get her involved, but it’s not his wound.

Nosey Carol sees them going down the street and follows with baby Judith. Why they don’t realize she’s behind them is beyond me, since there’s absolutely no one else outside. Carol asks Sam to watch Judith. I’m kind of not liking Carol at this moment. Sam’s son asks Carol if his father turned into one of the monsters. Carol says he only thing that keeps you from becoming a monster is killing. I have no idea what she’s talking about.

Carol goes to where Morgan is (some kind of cell) and asks what he’s hiding. Ron comes up behind Carl with the gun. Rick and Tobin continue to work on the wall. But unlike Nehemiah, Rick is distracted by Tara walking by. They banter about the Spencer thing and Deanna joins in, thanking Rick for saving Spencer. Rick says he could have gotten out to get a car in the moment Spencer fell, but he chose not to.

Everyone sees the green balloons in the distance. Maggie runs to the gate. Worried faces all around and then we see the church tower fall and smash open the wall.

The mid season finale should be a doozie.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Uncensored

Not much to say about this other than it’s a chance for Bravo to milk the franchise some more. It’s still worth watching though. From the audition videos to the outing of Kim as an alcoholic to outtakes from the dinner party from hell. Sometimes you get the best stuff in these in-between shows.

The “real” Real Beverly Hills Wives begins Tuesday, December 1.

November 20, 2015 — Cassadines, Mini Chefs & Corporate Zombies


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital — Thursday

Nina tells Franco she called every lawyer except Ric, but everyone is unavailable. Franco says that’s okay, he’s been in jail so often, he has a rewards card. Nathan says everything points to Franco’s car having run Carly off the road. Wouldn’t they have interviewed him before arresting him? Or at least asked him where he was?

Morgan tells Kiki about Franco’s arrest.

All righty then! I guess Nicholas and Hayden must have sealed the deal because they’re waking up together. Good. They’re one of the few couples I like. Lots of I love you stuff. Oh, thanks, GH. All of a sudden, Nicholas is trying to choke her and it’s all a dream.

Ha-ha! Jason drops down into the Cassadine mansion on a Mission Impossible rope, while the theme plays in my head. When a guard sees the rope and investigates, Jason jumps him.

Sam and Elizabeth are on the plane to Greece. Sam says Elizabeth is just trying to do damage control. She says Elizabeth is afraid that Helena will bring back memories, and that Jason will remember that Elizabeth could never accept him as he is. I wasn’t watching a lot during the whole Sam/Jason/Elizabeth storylines, so I really don’t know what went on. Probably when Jason remembers, I’ll get the lowdown.

No matter what Nathan says, Franco tells him it wasn’t me (meaning Franco, not me). Nathan says given Franco’s history with Carly, it might not have even been an accident. Franco says his car was in the garage all night, while he and Nina gave crappy candy to kids in crappy plastic costumes. He says the next day, he saw his car had been scratched. Nathan says it’s irrefutable that it was his car, so he must have gone out. Suddenly, Franco says it was his car.

Kiki tells Morgan that it was her, not Franco who had the car out, and she wants to turn herself in. Morgan asks her why. She says basic human decency. Wow. She actually knows what that is.

Hayden visits Sean in prison. He says that he didn’t mean to shoot her and was aiming for Jake Doe, and that he’s prayed she would be okay.

Jason steals the guard’s key card and let’s himself into…where?

Sam says she wants Jason to have his life back so he can make his own choices. Elizabeth says a bunch of really nasty stuff and Sam throws a drink at her. She should have aimed a little higher though. It mostly hit Elizabeth in the chest and not face. I assume this was a directional choice. It takes too much time to reapply makeup maybe?

Franco says that after Nina went to bed, he was restless and went out. It’s pretty obvious he’s making this up as he goes along. Nathan just sits there and watches Roger Howarth work. Nathan wants Franco to write out a statement.

Since everyone can just come and go in jail, Kiki and Morgan come in where Franco is being held.

The stewardess has to tell these two grown women to settle down. They should have had Obrecht play that part, since she’s playing a stewardess in the Fear: 462 web series. Elizabeth asks questions that are none of her business. Sam says Elizabeth isn’t Jason’s equal, she’s a damsel in distress and was his cross to bear. This time Elizabeth throws a drink.

Hayden tells Sean that Jake is Jason.

Oh man, this is good. Jason enters a room where a closed door opens to – Nicholas, who beat him there. I have to get one of those Star Trek transporters like these people have.

Commercial break. What is this “winter finale” business? Why don’t the networks just admit that there are no TV seasons anymore and they’ll put their shows on any time they damn well please.

Nathan asks if Nina is covering for Franco. She says no, he was with her all night.

Franco says he’s taking the blame for Kiki and Morgan thinks this is okay, since her life is getting better now. Yeah, let’s teach her about lack of responsibility while we’re at it.

Hayden tells Sean she’s 99.9% sure the bullet that hit her wasn’t from his gun.

The stewardess threatens Sam and Elizabeth, but gives them another chance. She says whoever Jason might be, God help him. Sam asks Elizabeth to agree that right now they’re in this for Jason. Elizabeth says it’s one of the rare times she’s glad Sam is with her because Jason needs them both.

Nicholas says he assumed Jason was going to pay a visit to his grandmother. Jason asks what he’s afraid of Helena saying. Nicholas says not everything’s about him, and that Helena has taken a turn for the worse and he’s there to say good-by. Ha! Helena took a turn for the worse decades ago, but that didn’t keep her from being pretty feisty.

Franco says that a DUI would be the cherry on Kiki’s lack of a future cake. He says he’ll just get off with a fine. He says there was no loss of life, so why ruin hers? Um…she doesn’t have to say she was drunk. I can’t believe she’s going along with this. What a couple of lowlifes she and Morgan are being. Morgan goes blah-blah-blah what a nice guy Franco is.

Nina grabs Kiki on her way out. Kiki asks how Nina’s job is going, and Nina asks how the drinking is going. Kiki says she hasn’t touched a drop in two whole days. I don’t think Nina is buying this. Yep, I’m right. She busts In on Franco and asks why he’s confessing to a crime he didn’t commit.

Sam thinks Nicholas is involved. Elizabeth says she doesn’t think Nicholas did anything but nose around.

Hayden asks Sean if he saw anyone else, but he says no. He asks if she told the police, but she says no, because the guy who’s the real shooter might get wise and finish the job.

Nicholas says he asked Helena about Jason, but she refuses to answer. He asks why Jason continues to pursue a life of misery when he has a new one waiting for him. Jason tells him he doesn’t want to shoot him, but he will, and pushes him back into Helena’s boudoir.

There she is! Helena on oxygen, but other than that, she looks pretty spry. She’s certainly not on her last legs. I think this is a set up.

Hayden says she can’t go to the crime scene to look for the bullet, and asks Sean what to do. He says he knows someone who can help her.

Helena says she can’t leave her bed. Jason says, gee, I guess no one would think she might be faking. She says it hurts when she laughs and he says good and I laugh. Helena says she’s ready to cross her last bridge and Mikos will be waiting for her, but only if she can right some wrongs. Ha! She called Elizabeth insidious. I love her. Suddenly, Elizabeth and Sam’s asses are dragged into the room by the guards.

Nina says she knows Franco is covering for Kiki. Nina says she understands, but he’s enabling her. Franco says he hates psychobabble. Nina says it’s the truth. She says as a parental figure, he has to teach her there are consequences for actions and she has to take responsibility. Nina says they’re both contributing to society now, and they’re good together, but how can they continue if he goes to prison? She’s concerned that Nathan will pursue specific charges because it was Carly. I can’t believe Nathan doesn’t see what’s going on. Are all the detectives here stupid?

Oddly enough, Kiki is the only one making sense. She doesn’t think Franco should take the rap and she needs to own up to her responsibility. Morgan is like, you deserve a break after all you’ve been through. She says how is she supposed to be a better person and live with herself if Franco ends up in prison. Morgan says she needs a big change and she should leave Port Charles with him. What? Are there some stupidity enhancers in the water?

Franco says as soon as Scotty is back, he’ll get him off the hook. Nina is skeptical that Nathan won’t throw the book at him. Nina tells Nathan that it was Kiki driving the car.

Morgan – who apparently has no job either – tells Kiki let’s just go without any timeline. He talks about going to some cabin and putting Port Charles in the rear view mirror, and he’s going to sing a Meat Loaf song any second. Is he in another manic phase? This is just a bad freakin’ idea and Kiki should know better when he says I don’t want to see a shrink. Continuing to be a moron, she agrees.

Sean tells Hayden to make whoever did this to her pay.

For a sick lady, Helena doesn’t seem to have slowed down much. She says it’s a fascinating conundrum for Jason, since his wife is there and brought his fiancé. She calls them “Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber and I die laughing. She says she can rest when she’s dead.

Helena says in order to have redemption and see her beloved Mikos again, she has to tell Jason everything he needs to know.

Tomorrow, Helena talks, Morgan wears a weird hat and Epiphany smacks Sonny around.

General Hospital – Friday

Nina tells Nathan to let Franco go and arrest Kiki. Meanwhile, Kiki and Morgan arrive at his family’s cabin.

Sonny goes to the gym and after two seconds becomes a big baby and wants to go home. Too late, Epiphany blocks his exit.

Patrick clues Carly in on Jason and Sam going to Greece.

Helena says that returning little Jake is not the only contrition she has to make. She says there are some things that Jason might not want to know, but he says he wants to hear it all. So do I, so start talking, Helena.

Franco says he’s already signed a confession, so justice has won. Franco tells Nathan that Nina is just trying to cover for him, but he’s talking so fast and so much, I’m sure Nathan isn’t buying it. Yep. Nathan says he can’t believe he’s doing this, but calls to have the pictures pulled up from the car so he can get an ID on the driver.

Morgan finds fishing gear while Kiki tries to get a connection on her phone. She wants to call Franco, but Morgan says that it will just be a traffic violation for him and he’ll be out in no time. Morgan encourages her to go fishing, even though the cabin has everything. He’s definitely in a manic phase.

Epiphany (who I’m so glad is getting some screen time) tells Sonny he’s going to have to do his PT. He says it’s a gym for boxers and she counters with it’s a gym for fighters, and that’s what he is.

Carly argues with Patrick about the progress Jason has made. He complains about Sam going after Jason, and Carly says it doesn’t mean she loves him any less.

Helena says it’s tedious being in bed and she feels rejuvenated by having visitors. She gets all sarcastic with Elizabeth and I love it. She tells Jason his taste runs to insipid even without memories.   She says she’ll take as long as it amuses her. Sam asks what she did to Jason, and she says she saved his life. When Jason got shot, Helena’s associates scooped him out of the water and brought him to her. I’m being concise because she’s so full of funny, smart remarks, I can’t type it all that fast and I’m also trying to enjoy it.

Franco says he did the same thing for Nina, that he loves both her and Kiki in different ways. He says if she doesn’t understand that, maybe they should reevaluate their relationship. When Nathan produces the photo, Franco says it was Halloween and he was in a khaleesi costume. ROFL! Nina tells Nathan that the last time she saw Kiki, she was with Morgan.

Carly argues with Patrick who just isn’t having any because he’s almost a bigger baby than Sonny. Carly asks how he left things. Patrick says he was supportive and Sam said she’d come back to him, but he’s wondering if they’re kidding themselves. Carly gets a call from Nathan, who is looking for Morgan.

Kiki says she doesn’t want to stay that long at the cabin. Morgan says they’re wiping the slate clean and he wants to start over with her. He says that no one will ever find them there. Okay… Kiki tells him there isn’t “the two of us.” He says he’s not asking for anything but an adventure. Kiki says his family will miss him, but he says he’s just a drag to them. I concur. He says whatever she wants to do is fine, but he needs this. He asks if she wants to play cards and she says she wants to make it interesting.

Epiphany screeches at Sonny. She asks what he wants and he says to bash someone’s face in. She produces his boxing gloves. He says there’s no such thing as wheelchair boxing and she says he needs to get out more and to google it when he gets home. I guess there is such a thing then.

Carly storms into the police station and demands to know why Franco isn’t in handcuffs. Nathan tells her it was Kiki and she doesn’t believe it because she’s really ,really stupid, and can’t get a clue that Kiki was drunk. She insists that Franco is framing Kiki, but Nina says it was just the opposite and he’s noble as hell. Franco tries to call Kiki on the sly.

Morgan has apparently lost the card game and has to go jump in the water outside in his underwear. Franco gets through on the phone.

Patrick shows up at the gym. Sonny wants to school Patrick in boxing, because he doesn’t know enough to even wrap his hands.

Sam says she could have saved Jason. Helena says she would have retrieved a corpse if it hadn’t been for her. Sam says Helena has no clue what love is and that Mikos went off with her grandmother because Helena is unlovable. Oooh! Helena curses Sam and everyone close to her. She says Sam and her people will never know happiness. Could she please curse Elizabeth too, while she’s at it?

Carly can’t get through to Morgan. Franco tells Kiki that the police know what happened and tells her to run. Nathan grabs the phone, but it’s too late, they were cut off. Morgan comes back into the cabin after freezing his butt off in the water. Kiki says she feels sick. Morgan sees a message on his phone from Carly saying the police are looking for Kiki.

Sam says pfft! to Helena’s curse. Helena says just ask Luke and Laura about her curses. (That’s right! When she was Elizabeth Taylor, Helena cursed them at the wedding.) Elizabeth says let’s get out of here because she’s a wimp. Helena is like, why go before you get what you came for, and says her story has the power to change all of their lives. Oh boy! Oh boy! This new storyline could definitely take us through the new year.

Nathan asks Franco where Kiki is, and Franco acts cagey. Nathan says he’d be doing her a favor if he tells her to turn herself in. Franco is pissed at Nina for interfering. He says Nina needs some consequences, but stops short of saying he’s breaking up with her.

Kiki says they have to go back to Port Charles. She says Franco told her the police are looking for her. All the more reason not to go back, Morgan tells her. Morgan says he’ll tell Carly not to press charges, but Kiki says it’s probably not up to her. Morgan suggests they go to Canada. Kiki says he’s nuts (truth!) and then Morgan hears someone outside.

Sonny tells Patrick things might not turn out the way he thinks, and gives him boxing instruction.

Nicholas says Helena is getting tired and it’s time to take a break. Elizabeth says she probably doesn’t know anything and that Helena is weak and frail and should rest. Helena says how nice she’s concerned, but doesn’t she think Jason might want some answers. Sam says, are you saying you did this to Jason? Um…if that wasn’t the case, why would we even be here in the first place? For a smart woman, Sam often has trouble with the obvious.

Aww, Franco doesn’t really want to break up. He says he’s going to hide the remote so she’ll have to get up to change channels and when they get a dog, she’ll have to walk it. They say I love yous, and Nina says she’s sorry, but Kiki has to deal with her drinking.

Epiphany says Sonny did good today. Not just with the PT, but with encouraging Patrick. Carly comes in and asks Sonny if he’s seen Morgan, and explains what’s going on with the accident.

Uh-oh, Morgan thinks the cops are there and gets a gun. No good is going to come of this. Kiki says there’s no one there, but he loads the gun and says he’s going to protect her.

Sam says Helena must have wiped out Jason’s memory. Elizabeth says she did it to Lucky. Sam says Lucky was able to come back from it. Helena says anything is possible and Sam asks if she can do it.

Monday, Hleena plays more with her guests and Kiki hears a gunshot.

Master Chef Junior

In a nutshell. 8-year-olds cook better than I do, but are less realistic. They bring out astronaut Tracy Dyson, and one of the contestants says she would like to be a chef, a spy and an astronaut. Hmm…maybe kids are just more ambitious than I am.

Graham filets the most giant flat fish I have ever seen and it creeps me out a little.

I’m bucking for Avery to win.

Z Nation

We start with that piece of music from that commercial, you know what it is. Everything is in slo-mo, OBM fighting zombies in the woods. It also has an orange filter. So I’m assuming this is a dream. No, they’re apparently fighting in a way I’m unaccustomed to.

OBM find an abandoned hotel. It’s crawling with zombies outside, and Murphy works his magic. There are people inside. One says they can’t leave people outside and it’s been a year since they’ve seen anyone new. He slides open the door and all guns are on OBM.

The leader (Anthony Michael Hall) tells them to turn around. He introduces himself as Gideon Gould, saying he is a facilitator, but not leader – everyone participates in decision making. Gould tells them to put their weapons away. Someone suggests a “popcorn circle process.” Oh no, it’s the talking stick thing – whoever has the stick has the floor, and they pass it like a bowl of popcorn.  Gould was a corporate expert in corporate conflict resolution and they were all at his seminar when the apocalypse happened. Gould does an “honest inventory,” giving his honest impressions of them with no filter. Boy, he has them all down to a T. He gives Doc a hug. He tells Murphy he don’t get no respect. OMG – he is one of those corporate guys.

Murphy says now that they’re all friends and stuff, could they get some food. Roberta tells Gould that Murphy has a vitamin deficiency. Murphy says the corporate doublespeak is making him hungry. Gould takes Roberta and Addy aside, and  tells them they can stay as long as they like as long as they go by the system. Roberta says they won’t stay long because they have to be somewhere.

The guy who let them in, Iggy, takes 10K and Doc to the kitchen. He says he wants to leave but is always voted down. He was sent to the seminar to hone his people skills and has been there 4 years. Addy and Roberta go with popcorn woman (Dana) to the roof to try and get the satellite dish going. Dana says some people left and some were banished and they always came back zombies, so they stopped trying.

Dana says Gould is controlling and she’d like some open space. Addy says it ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. I think Dana is bucking to come along with OBM and also flirting with Addy.

A gunshot is heard. A group busts down a locked door and finds Murphy shot, along with another guy (Greg).

Commercial break. Holy! In the Heart of the Sea looks fantastic! Definitely worth seeing on the big screen. Even if you have to take out a second mortgage to buy a ticket and popcorn. Thank God for that dollar store at the mall. They have Boston Baked Beans and gummi bears too. The good gummi bears.

I’d totally tweet with Z Nation if I liked tweeting.

Vasquez says they have to mercy Greg before he turns. Doc says Murphy has a concussion or worse. Murphy is dreaming of being back at the canyon with the zombies going over the edge and he falls. Vasquez says he only heard one shot but there are 2 victims. He thinks the bullet passed through Murphy and hit the other guy in the heart. Doc says that’s why he’s not turning. The bullet had Murphy’s blood on it, so he’s going to be like Cassandra.

Roberta tells Gould she’s concerned about one of them having done this. Gould says violence begets violence. Another woman suggests maybe a member of OBM shot Murphy, since Vazquez let slip he’s their prisoner. They do the stick thing and point fingers at 10K. Dana gives the stick to Addy and she says 10K doesn’t miss. She says he might kick Murphy in the nuts, but would never try to kill him. 10K says Murphy isn’t his friend and he has reason to kill him. When the time comes, he will, but that time isn’t now.

Vasquez says he found a duffel bag of food and one of them was packing for a getaway. Murphy must have caught them. Gould says the punishment for stealing food is banishment. Gould points a finger at Iggy and says he ‘s the only one with a key and he wants to leave. Iggy says the place is a death trap and he wants everyone to leave. Gould yells at him and says tell the truth, and Iggy he attacks Gould. Gould says he’s out and Roberta says it’s a death sentence and at least give him a weapon. They boot iggy’s ass out with a Thor type hammer.

We don’t see what happens to him, but his yell tells me it’s probably not good.

Doc says Murphy isn’t doing so well, the bleeding has stopped, but he’s still unconscious. Roberta wants to get moving, but Doc says they could kill Murphy if they don’t wait. Doc has been soaking a rag in Murphy’s blood and letting Greg suck on it. He’s turning blue like Murphy. Roberta says to keep Murphy alive while she goes and climbs the corporate ladder.

10K listens in on a conversation between a man and a woman. The woman doesn’t want OBM there because it’s costing them food. Gould talks to Roberta and tries to explain the rules. He says at first, it was a real horror show with people trying to leave and they made it work by applying a system. There are zombies ensconced in some off limits rooms. Gould apologizes for the shooting.

Murphy is still having the zombie fantasies in his head.

Gould is looking for someone named Washington and a zombie pops out. 10K shoots it and the woman he saves turns into a zombie in like a second. She’s dispatched by Vasquez. Dana and Addy go down the hall toward some sounds. Dana thinks it’s zombies, but Addy says they’re human since they got quiet when the two approached.

We see the shadow of someone taking things outside and Dana just nods her head and let’s them pass. Addy doesn’t see this. Addy and Dana are in a closet hiding, and Dana asks Addy to take her along. She says she’s always afraid. She’s crying and she hugs Addy. Just in time Addy sees that Vaxquez and Roberta are aiming at the zombies and they duck to avoid getting shot.

They all return to Gould who asks to speak with Dana. Hmm…is he the guy with the suitcase?

Murphy’s visions are still going on, and suddenly they become real with a zombie breaking its head through the wall. Roberta cuts its head off, but others are banging to get in. Doc continues to feed Greg blood. Is he nuts or that bored? Roberta is like, maybe you should stop that, and Doc tells her the guy is getting better, but Murphy is still in dreamland.

10K says the hotel zombies are out and the gate isn’t going to hold. Zombies come busting in.

Gould asks Doc what’s going on. He says a blood transfusion with alternative medicine. Everyone starts to argue and they’re all talking at once with no stick. Roberta tells them to shut up and do their stick thing. Gould says the rules are more important than ever, so that they can find out who shot Greg. Greg is awake so Doc suggests the ask him. He points.

Commercial break. Krampus looks awesome too! Except I’ll save that one for the small screen, since it’s rated PG-13. The last time I saw a PG-13 movie, I felt like I was in the middle of a bus on a field trip. I have great peripheral vision too, and I could see phone screens for miles. Sometimes, I’d like to take one of those cell phones and – oops! show’s back on.

Greg poins at Guy Whose Name I Don’t Know. He says he’s not surprised a zombie figured it out before the corporate morons. He tells Dana to come with him. Dana tells Gould she’d rather take her chances out there than die listening to him in there. Her companion is shot, turns into a zombie and is given mercy. Dana tells Addy this isn’t what she wanted. Gould says it’s time for OBM to go. Vasquez draws his gun and Roberta says that unless the stick shoots something, they’ll be staying

There’s a knock at the door. It’s iggy. Alive. He says no thanks to any of them. Gould says he has the right to be angry because the process failed him and he’s sorry. Iggy laughs. Gould tells him to work through his feelings. Iggy takes the stick and beats Gould with it (it’s pretty big).

Murphy regains consciousness. He asks Doc what he missed. Suddenly, all the zombies outside leave. Murphy says he had the craziest dreams. I guess when he was unconscious, he couldn’t control them?

OBM is ready to leave. Roberta thanks them for the food and Iggy thanks her for the freedom. Iggy says they’ll be hitting the road too. One woman says she’s always wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Doc says it ain’t what it used to be.

Dana apologizes to Addy. Dana asks if there’s anything she can do to stay with Addy, but Addy says no. Doc & 10K banter about the corporate mentality. The truck pulls away with Addy looking wistfully out the back window.

Next week, Gina Gershon guests stars and is starting a new world order.

November 18, 2015 — Loving, PC & LA


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


If Loving You Is Wrong

Randal tries to choke out Marcie. He’s gone absolutely crazy. He says he never threw his affair in her face and always protected her from knowing about it. This isn’t a very good argument. He says it just happened; he didn’t do it on purpose. Ugh! Even worse. Louise tries to intervene, but Marcie says she’ll sleep with Brad again. She’s going to find Alex’s calendar and she’s doing to do it for every time they did. Both of them refuse to leave. Randal says they’ll see who leaves first. Marcie says if he touches her again, his mother is going to be in a black dress watching Marcie piss on his grave. Holy! Tyler Perry can write them. I don’t think Louise should leave these two alone.

Marcie flounces out, saying come watch, and I assume she’s hunting down Brad, since no one has jobs anymore. I can’t believe Randal is supposed to be a psychologist when he’s the weirdest guy on the show. I’d take one look at him and say, no thanks, another doctor please.

Marcie traipses over to Brad’s and lays a big kiss on him. She goes into the house and Brad tells her to go upstairs, that he’s been waiting for her. Louise protests, but it’s useless. Randal drives off. Marcie tells Brad about how Randal tried to choke her. Marcie asks him for the calendar. Brad says she doesn’t want to see it, but she insists. This is all pretty sad.

Brad brings her the calendar. Oooh, she put grades on them too. Marcie says she wants to screw on every date in the book. Brad says there’s something she should know when there’s a knock at the door. It’s Louise, and she takes Marcie out the door. Oops! Here come Kelly and Ramsey. Marcie says it’s not a good time for her to think about real estate and she’ll call him.

Kelly follows her in, asking what happened. Marcie tells her about Randal. Kelly is like, you have to knock it off, and Louise introduces herself. Kelly says Marcie doesn’t even want Brad; she just wants to hurt Randal. Louise says that’s because she’s hurting. Kelly says Marcie needs to brace herself for what might be coming. Marcie says Randal started it and Louise asks if she’s mature enough to finish it.

Eddie is back at work. Pete and Ben are on bike patrol. Pete says something isn’t right about it to Lushion. Eddie tells Pete to be careful in a veiled threat kind of way. Eddie – who has a job, but never does any work – asks Lushion how it’s going and makes small talk. Lushion asks what’s up with Eddie and Ben. Eddie makes a disgusting remark. Lushion tells him he’d better have straightened up. This was kind of a veiled threat too.

Ben points out Claudia to Eddie, and tells him she’s the one who saw the video. Eddie calls over a female detective and asks about Claudia, but the detective runs interference and won’t let him hassle her. A body has been found and Lushion and Eddie have to leave. Natalie blocks Lushion’s way out and says they need to talk. Obviously, now is not a good time. Lushion says he’ll call her.

Natalie pulls Esperenza to the side. She asks what’s up with her and Eddie. Esperanza says blah-blah-blah about how Eddie says he’s changed. Natalie asks if Lushion is in trouble. She tells Esperanza that Eddie robbed a drug dealer. Oh, she thinks Lushion is in on it because his bank account shows a lot of money. Esperanza says Eddie does have a lot of cash. Natalie says so does Lushion. Esperanza wants to confront Eddie. Natalie thinks Esperanza should just shake loose from Eddie and thinks if Lushion got away from Eddie, he’d be better off. Natalie makes her promise not to tell where she got the information from.

We’re at the cartel guy’s compound. I always think it looks weird when people have what looks exactly like living room furniture outside. Where’s the aluminum and webbed chaise lounges? Julius’s father tells him he has vengeance on the brain, and he needs to stop because he’ll end up in jail or worse and that will kill his father. He says it will be the end of their cartel.

His father says the reason he employs small time dealers is that they have street cred and can get information. He says don’t make enemies of people who can be your friends, or something like that. His father is afraid that when the cartel gets passed down, Julius will make a mess of things.

Eddie lets himself in to Esperanza’s house. She tells him give her the key and get out. He says he just wants to talk and she says they have nothing to talk about. She says go talk to the whore he had there last week. Eddie says she didn’t mean anything, which just makes it worse. She says the whore used her perfume and stole Eddie’s daughter’s earrings from the bathroom. He says said whore is dead. Which makes it worse again. She lets it slip about him robbing the drug dealer. He asks if Lushion told her. Esperanza says too bad, it doesn’t matter, and get out. He refuses.

Juan and Julius are casing the burger place and Faun again. Juan says she picks up the money every day. I’m surprised her father didn’t tell her to do it at different times. Julius says his dad likes Juan but he doesn’t. Julius wanted him to shoot a cop, but he shot up the whole place to make it look random. Julius says now his money is gone and the cop is still alive. Julius wants Eddie to kill Joey to send a message that he’s tough.

Natalie and Esperanza are visiting Alex in the hospital. She says she’s being sprung tomorrow. Kelly joins the crowd, but Alex is kind of cold. Kelly tells Natalie has been approved for the loan. Alex isn’t excited at all about going home and she says Kelly knows why. Kelly is like, huh? and Alex says she knew Brad and Marcie had sex in the shed. She saw the video. Then she brings up how Kelly told Marcie to look closer for Peppa (her code name in the affair with Randal). Kelly is like, oh, I see, you’re mad at me for what you did. She says she can’t even look at Marcie right now. Alex says Kelly should have told her and tells Kelly to get out. The other girls protest, but Alex says Marcie is not her friend.  Alex wants everyone to leave.

Lushion calls Natalie and she says she needs to talk in person. He says he needs to talk too, but he’ll wait until he gets home. She says he means “her place.” Ouch!

Brad drives to whatever backwater place Alex is from. Her father asks if Brad is lost. He says he’s there to announce the new baby’s arrival. Brad says he tried to call, but I don’t think they have phones there. Brad asks if Alex’s mother is there and her father says she’s lying down. Brad asks if they don’t want to see the baby. Alex’s mother comes to the door. I hate to say this, but her haircut alone tells me she doesn’t live there. Brad asks if she wants to see the baby. Obviously, he’s trying to get these racist a-holes to come and see that the baby is Black. Brad doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, so he finally leaves.

The nurse brings the baby to Alex to nurse. Ha-ha! She says Alex’s blood pressure is good. I’ll bet not for long. The nurse says if it stays that way, she’ll be able to go home tomorrow. When Alex barely responds, she asks if Alex is okay. Alex says yes, and the nurse leaves.

Stalker Randal arrives.

General Hospital

Anna is a mess, dropping things everywhere. NuShrink helps her pick stuff up and asks her if the St. John’s Wort is working. He suggests melatonin as well, but says only honesty will get to the root of her problem. He says whatever’s bothering her will continue until she gets to the root cause.

Maxie is getting things going. She’s at (where else?) The Floating Rib, working with her laptop and phone. Lulu comes in and says she’d left a message that Valerie and Dante were together last night.

Michael and Sabrrrina have scheduled an appointment for a sonogram. Elizabeth comes in looking for Jason and mistakenly calls him Jake. I’ve done that too. Michael leaves and Sabrrrina says that Elizabeth is afraid Jason won’t come back to her when he’s done with his mission.

Jason shows up at Spinelli’s house in Portland. Georgie and Ellie aren’t there. Spinelli says it’s gratifying to see his old friend and he missed him. Jason says he’s sorry he doesn’t remember, but Spinelli says he’s just grateful that Jason is alive. Jason says it’s all due to Spinelli and Spinelli says that fate brought him back together with the people who love him. Jason says Helena is the one who brought him back and he’s out to get answers.

Sam tells Patrick that Jason is going after the Cassadines and that he’ll need back up. Patrick asks when she’s leaving. At least he knows her pretty well. Sam says he hasn’t answered her messages. She says what he’s doing is dangerous and she’ll need him. Patrick says she’s doing it for herself, not Jason.

The two stooges, Valerie and Dante, pat themselves on the back because they caught the perp or whatever. Valerie says it was exciting, but she made a rookie move by falling asleep.

Lulu tells Maxie about how she called Dante, but he couldn’t talk. She thought nothing of it, but then saw Dante in the car with Valerie’s head on his shoulder. Maxie says she shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Good point. That seems to be what’s gotten everyone into trouble lately. Maxie suggests they check Dante’s email. They see one from Valerie, but it’s like that joke where it turns out to be a dentist. It sounds like she’s talking about sleeping with him, but she’s really talking about the stakeout.

Michael comes by the police station and says Jason has given him proxy to use his ELQ shares against Nicholas. He wants to press charge against Nicholas for corporate espionage.

Sabrrrina says she knows what it’s like when an old love comes back. Elizabeth continues with her pipedream of how Jason is going to come back and be crazy about her.

Sam says Patrick loves her because of what Jason changed in her. She’d come to town as a con artist (I’d forgotten that!) and after she met him, things changed. She says he needs her and Patrick gets pissed.

Spinelli accesses the Cassadines mainframe. Jason apologizes for laying all this on him. Spinelli says Jason befriended him when he was anti-social and ostracized. He says that Jason helped him get offline and live life for real, and he can never repay him. Jason says he wishes he could be the guy so many people love but he doesn’t know how. Spinelli says he doesn’t have to do anything, just be himself.

Maxie is working her phone and laptop again. Valerie comes in and orders a lot of food, saying she needs it after the night she had. Maxie stomps over to her table to confront her.

Patrick talks to Anna about what happened with Emma. The description of the strange woman fits no one they recognize. He tells her that Jason took off and Sam wants to help. Anna says that’s what she should do, startling me.

Sam is daydreaming about early times with Jason. Elizabeth shows up and Sam says she hasn’t heard from him. Elizabeth says she’s glad Sam’s not chasing after him. Too bad, so sad, says Sam, because she’s planning on it. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

Jason tells Spinelli that no matter what he does, a good woman who loves him will get hurt. Spinelli should know all about that, since he went through it with Maxie and Ellie, but the difference is that Elizabeth is not a good woman. She’s a scheming shrew.

Commercial break. It’s the candy kisses that play “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” For the love of all that’s holy, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. I once heard Christmas music being played in Macy’s at the end of September. I asked the cashier if it started to bug her by December. She said, “It’s bugging me now.”

Jason says that in all his struggles with memory loss, it never once crossed his mind that he was Jason. Spinelli says that he still came back anyway, and that his instincts seem to be intact and he should trust them.

Elizabeth says Sam needs to have some respect and get out of the way when Jason comes back to her. Sam tells her that her using the word respect is a joke and that Jason needs her. She’s going after him and Elizabeth needs to get out of her house. Bye, Felicia!

Anna says Sam is taking a risk, but Patrick can’t save her by being controlling. He has to trust that she loves him.

Sabrrrina cancels the sono. Question mark over my head. Is she afraid the baby looks like Carrrlos already and Michael will notice?

Lulu shows up at the police station. She tells Dante she saw him with her slut cousin. She saw them cuddled up and he’s a liar. She says he’s been sleeping with Valerie all along and mentions the email.

Valerie changes her order to a sandwich to go. Maxie confronts her about being in the car with Dante. She says if she’s so concerned, she should stop sending Dante love emails. Valerie is like what the what, how did you see it? Maxie says it wasn’t that hard.

Sabrrrina asks Anna If there’s been any progress in finding Carrrlos’s killer. Anna says it’s a cold case. Sabrrina says she realizes she’s not family, but that she was close to him and despite what he’d done, he deserves justice. Anna gets all weird and has to go.

Sam calls Patrick and says she has to find Jason, but it has nothing to do with the two of them, meaning her and Patrick.

Spinelli locates Helena on a private island. Jason asks him to find a vantage point with a cover and an access point. Jason rattles off a few things he needs. Spinelli says they’re finding their old rhythm.

Maxie says instead of pulling Valerie and Lulu’s sorry excuse for a husband out of the car, Lulu came to her. Valerie says it’s against the law to hack into an email account. Maxie says Lulu had the password, and Valerie must have known that she would see the email that thanked him for “last night.”

A-hole Dante makes noises about it being a federal offense to hack in email. Nice try and good way to get Lulu even more pissed. Dante tells her Valerie was talking about the stakeout. What’s wrong with those two morons (Dante and Valerie) that they think they can get on their high horses and point fingers at Lulu and Maxie? Arggh! I can’t stand either one of them.

Anna goes to see nuShrink. What the blip is his name and why won’t someone say it? Anna says he’s right. She has serious issues and needs help. She wants to schedule an appointment.

Valerie says she’s not after Dante, but if she was, Lulu is giving her all the help she needs. She says if Maxie wants to be Lulu’s friend, she should not encourage her anger and tell her to take Dante back before she loses him. Maxie tries to text Lulu not to confront Dante. A little late.

Lulu and Dante talk in private. He says if she can no longer trust him, maybe they are done. What a twonk.

Michael asks where Sabrrrina is at the hospital desk. The nurse tells him she cancelled the sono. Patrick tells Sabrrrina that he’s sorry for what he put her through because he’s now in the same position. Another idiot with a too late apology.

Spinelli has fixed up Jason’s phone for cyber support, and has gotten a private jet to take him to Greece and then Cassadine Island. Jason asks who’s paying. Sam says him. Surprise! He has a lot of money in offshore accounts. Maybe it’s not so bad being Jason.

Oh for Pete’s sake. Elizabeth wants to come with Sam. Sam gets a call from Spinelli telling her what’s going on. He says Jason will need back up and who better than her.

Ha-ha! Tomorrow Sam is going to throw a drink in Elizabeth’s face on the plane.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

Heather tells JoshA they have a mother/daughter developer team looking for agents to sell a 12-unit property. Heather says that they called her and she thinks they want a female agent, but she would like his back-up. Josh wants to split it three ways (his brother being the third). Heather is hesitant, but says okay.

JoshF is still looking for a property for his hard-to-please client, Julie. I thought they’d found something, and so did he, but the deal fell apart. I am so loving Josh’s denim jacket. I’m betting it’s crazy expensive, since I don’t think these guys shop at Old Navy. He contacts Madison about the possibility of doing a deal together.

Is that a Rottweiler Madison has? Whatever it is, it’s cute. Madison, who seems to have slipped back into this show even though he’s not on the credits (what do the Wives call it? A friend of the show?), is having an open house. Whenever I see these open houses, I always wish I could go to one on a lark and scarf down free food, drinks and views. The property has been on the market for a while, which is somewhat of a drawback. I got my house for less because of that.

James is having a birthday party for one of his daughters, and of course it’s fabulous, filled with fairies (the winged kind), bubbles and face painting. I think I just saw a unicorn. It must be nice to have mega bucks. Or have a father that does. Forget the open house, I want to go to this party.

James has a developer guest that has a property he wants James and David to handle. They toast with tacos to the future deal.

Heather’s excited because she and Josh haven’t done a listing together in a while. JoshA say’s it’s like date night with commission. Heather tells him he’s just there for eye candy and to remember that the clients are looking for the female facet.

The house Madison is showing is gorgeous. It has parking on the property, which is unusual for the area. It’s a beachfront property and one broker is concerned about high tide. Madison says to get a “dry beach” property costs a huge amount of money, but the house is 60 years old and still standing.

Heather and JoshA check out the 12-unit property. The penthouse is amazing and you can see the Hollywood sign from the balcony. They talk price and Josh has a hard time not taking the lead. There are no comps for the building, so Heather suggests they go to pre-sale with the higher price the developer wants and see what happens. Josh interjects that they’ll need to stage the penthouse and another unit, but the developer balks at footing the bill, so Heather says they’ll do it.

James and David have an old Hollywood property that I love. James says that unless it’s some kind of historical property, it’s all about location and most likely a tear down.  I want to cry because no one cares about old, cool homes anymore. James suggests they call both Joshes to help get as many potential buyers in as they can.

Madison is showing the beachfront house again. Oooh, it has built in cupboards I didn’t notice before. While he’s dealing with one client, another shows up with an offer that’s $312K over asking price. The broker’s client doesn’t want a bidding war and wants to wrap it up in 24 hours. The broker he’d been working with wants to give him an offer as well, and he tells her she’d better move fast.

Heather and JoshA are setting up the open house. Heather is worried about no shows because it’s raining and apparently no one leaves their house in L.A. when it rains. The staging looks fantastic and so does the food. Rain or not, a lot of brokers show up. Josh says today is about testing the prices the developers want. They get two full price offers right off the bat. The developer is pretty excited. They have 6 other interested people as well.

Whenever I see a brand name like Bulgari, I think of those two used-to-be porn star girls on Saturday Night Live.

James and David have generated interest in the old Hollywood property. JoshF shows up with a client. Waaah! I love this house and can’t believe someone is probably going to flatten it. Okay, this guy is speaking my language and is more interested in it as a family home. James and David want to present all offers to their client at the same time on Friday.

Madison can’t get ahold of his client, and is concerned that the phenomenal offer they’ve gotten is going to disappear.

JoshA shows up at James and David’s showing. James says he’s been looking for a project to include JoshA in. Josh says he wants to make some calls. When Josh calls his client, the client has already seen the property with JoshF. It’s the same guy who just made an offer.

JoshF pulls up with the offer. JoshA asks JoshF what his problem is. JoshF says that JoshA tells lies to steal his clients. JoshA says he doesn’t steal JoshF’s listings; the clients come to him after they’ve fired JoshF. JoshF says it’s time to settle things. And if you could follow that, God bless you.

Next week, Heather says she’s “late” while in the ladies room. Either she’s pregnant or they want us to think she is.

November 17, 2015 –GH, Last Charter & Couch Quotes


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

It’s Nina’s first day of work. Kiki is skeptical she knows how to work.

Lulu interrupts Alexis and Julian’s dinner at the only restaurant in town, and tells Alexis she wants to file for legal separation from Dante. Alexis tells her to call the office because this probably isn’t the best venue to discuss a pending case and she would actually like to eat dinner.

Dante is some kind of stakeout with Valerie. This just would not happen.

Paul wants Ava to get info from Morgan. Ava says she won’t be Paul’s whore. So there!

Sonny tells Carly they can end the marriage as easily as it started. She says she’s calling his bluff, but then doesn’t really. She asks him what he’d do if she walked out and never looked back. Sonny acts like a tough guy idiot, telling her if she can’t pull her weight she needs to get out.

Since these poor people can’t have dinner in peace, Olivia drops by Alexis and Julian’s table, telling them all about baby Leo’s latest diaper change.

Franco tells Kiki she’s being unfair and maybe she should look for a job, since she seems to need a purpose. What happened to her job as town drunk?

Maxie is hard at work at Crimson already. Lulu comes by the office because nobody is allowed to do anything without interruption in Port Charles. Lulu makes a crack about Nina. Lulu says the magazine is in trouble, but she’s confident they can save it. Nina comes into the office and hears Lulu say she doesn’t think Nina will last 3 issues. Geez, how does anyone even know what she can do yet? Maybe she’s a freaking genius. She can pick out amazing clothes.

Nina introduces herself to Lulu and is more gracious than I would be. Maxie gives Nina a huge binder with all the info on Crimson. She explains that the magazine isn’t doing well. Maxie suggests bringing Crimson back to its roots and making it fabulous again. Glad she has a specific plan.

Seriously, would Jordan have allowed Dante and Valerie to even be near each other?

Carly says Sonny is trying to force her to leave before the going gets tough. Sonny says because he had a weak moment, he lost Avery, and you can’t show weakness to enemies. Carly reminds him that she’s not his enemy and says she took her vows seriously. She says if he didn’t, he needs to tell her.

Kiki is staring at the liquor bottles like they might come alive. And they do! No, not really. Morgan is at the door. He says he’s making sure she’s okay after the custody hearing.  She tells him Franco was right; she needs a job.

Franco has to take a psych exam to get back his job at the hospital. The shrink says he notices a preoccupation with death. Franco says that his past involves taking people’s lives, but he had a brain tumor. The shrink says they need to talk about what he did afterwards.

Julian stops by the magazine for a progress report.

Sonny apologizes to Carly. She says he has to stop taking out his frustration on her. She says she knows it’s difficult, but he needs to understand that he’s still the same indestructible guy he was before, and that throwing tantrums is…what? Stupidity, Sonny says. Carly says that’s right. Today’s lesson learned. Nathan drops by and says he has info about Carly’s accident.

Lulu is at the hotel bar, and Olivia tries to talk to her about Dante. Lulu says she has no idea what she wants.

Dante tells Valerie about him and Lulu checking into the legalities of the embryos remaining. Why is he telling her his personal stuff?

Nathan says they have a witness who gave them the make and model of the car, but then has to dash off. Enter Epiphany, who seems entirely out of context.

Paul says he heard Ava’s voice when Morgan was there, and wonders if she would have thrown herself at Morgan if he hadn’t been there. Ava smacks him one. He just smiles because he oozes cool.

Epiphany is Sonny’s physical therapist. Carly tells her that Sonny has been skipping exercises. Bad Sonny! Epiphany says that for someone who spent so much time in the hospital yelling about how he’s going to walk again, he’s certainly working against it.

Kiki and Morgan are discussing her work experience which is pretty much nothing. Nathan knocks and says he’s there to see Franco.

The shrink brings up Franco’s hand in Nina kidnapping the baby. He says he was only trying to get her to bring the baby back without damaging her psyche.

Julian says that Maxie and Nina should work on something that doesn’t cost money, like upping the magazine’s profile on social media. This actually isn’t a bad idea.

Olivia suggests counseling. Lulu says you only go to counseling when you want to work things out and she’s pretty angry. Olivia says she’s having both sides of the conversation by herself, and if she doesn’t want to see a counselor, she needs to talk to Dante. Lulu calls Dante, but he tells her he’s in the middle of a stakeout. She says he can take Roccco for as long as he likes tomorrow.

Ava tells Paul not to question her ambition, and that she’ll get the job done without Morgan. He says maybe that’s good since he doesn’t want her to be distracted. She almost smacks him again, but Carly is at the door and he hides. He must be getting tired of hiding. Carly tells Ava to get ready for the fight of her life and it isn’t over until Avery forgets who she is. Ave tells her buh-bye, but Carly sees the blanket Morgan brought over and wants to know what it’s doing there.

Ava says Morgan was there, but not by her invitation. Carly says she protects her children and Ava says she controls them. Carly threatens her with “resources” and leaves.

Kiki gets rid of Nathan and says she was nervous he was there for her. (Um…it was Franco’s car, you twit.) Carly calls and& says she wants to see Morgan now. Yep, controlling.

Why this is any of the shrink’s business, I don’t know, but he asks if Nina and Franco are lovers. When Franco says not yet, the shrink asks why. Franco says a lot of reasons, but he’s financially strapped and doesn’t want to live off of Nina’s money. The shrink asks if he’s willing to work hard. (No. What a stupid question.) Obrecht come in the shrink says Franco didn’t fail, but didn’t pass either, and he wants another session. Obrecht says too bad, the deal was one session and she welcomes Franco back to the staff. Franco tells the shrink that if you wants to entertain himself, he should read Obrecht’s file.

Lulu cancels the appointment with Alexis and runs off. Somehow I think this isn’t going to end well and she’s going to reissue that appointment. Alexis invites Olivia and Leo to Thanksgiving.

Epiphany bosses Sonny around and won’t even let him take a phone call. This should be good.

Ava gets ballistic in front of Paul. She says she’s going to take what she wants from Sonny and then from the rest of Port Charles. This really turns Paul on and they grapple. In a good way.

Nina is panicking about not being able to run the magazine. Maxie says she’s smart, stylish and makes good decisions. She says Nina has to embody the magazine, and walk the line between classic and in the moment.

Valerie falls asleep against Dante’s shoulder. Yep, before I could even say it, Lulu sees them from behind the car.

Kiki goes to Olivia to apply for a job.

Epiphany says she’ll be back every day. Sonny asks if she’s threatening him and asks, do you know who I am? She says yeah, my patient, and Sonny can barely keep a straight face. These two are going to be fun together.

Carly shows Morgan the blankie and tells him he’s going to see a shrink. That dude is going to be busy in this town.

Nathan arrests Franco.

Below Deck

It’s the finale. How long was this season? Like two weeks?

Emile wants to be a big shot and get in Eddie’s face about dumping Rocky. You know he thinks if he does this, he can get with her.  Not. Going. To. Happen.

Chef Ben cutting onions is like looking at a magic trick. Uh-oh, the trick didn’t work. He hurt himself. That was probably his billionth onion though. If I cut onions that way, I’d lose my whole hand on the first try. Crap. He really did a good job. Eddie says it’s down to the cartilage and I don’t even want to look at it. Ben says he has a big dinner to accomplish in 40 minutes, which is hard enough with two hands.

Rocky tries to approach Eddie, who isn’t having it. He says he thought she understood there wasn’t anything between them, but apparently not. It reminds me of when Julius Krug told Little Edie that the only thing they had between them was sex in HBO’s Grey Gardens. Ben says he’ll need Rocky to literally be his left hand. Hopefully he’s right handed.

Captain Lee calls Connie to the wheelhouse. She says, “If you hear the captain call your name, be scared; if you hear the captain call your name to a specific place, be more scared.” Connie had nothing to be scared about though. Captain Lee offers her a permanent position. She says this almost never happens with a first timer. I think he made a wise choice. It’s obvious that she’s the hardest worker he has – and she loves her job. I could totally see doing this if I was 30 years younger.

Emile is so immature; he should really be working at a fast food place.  Or maybe be in day care. I don’t mean working in day care. I mean being literally in day care. Rocky complains about being Ben’s bitch because he’s giving her instructions. Amy says she shouldn’t complain even though she has Eddie stuff going on, because the galley is where she’s always wanted to be. Let me remind everyone of the raw chicken she cooked. Maybe she wants to be there, but that’s different than knowing what you’re doing there. I don’t blame Ben for micromanaging. He also had a vision for the dinner.

Ben gives her a warning. She asks what happens after a warning. He says he doesn’t know, but it’s nothing that will make her life easier. Rocky says she realizes that Chef Ben is right. He says he started off peeling carrots and it took a couple of years to move forward. Captain Lee is having dinner with the guests as well.

Chef Ben says if there’s one devious trick he’s learned as a chef, it’s that the way to a woman’s heart is through her tummy. And he’s totally right. He gives Rocky a nice sampling of food and she calms down.

The guests light up some Chinese lanterns and set them free. Let me tell you about the one I found in my backyard still on fire once. Good thing it didn’t land in a tree. Please, people, do not do this at home. Kate and Amy light a lantern away from the guests, and Kate thanks her for being a good stewardess. I don’t care what anyone says, I like Kate.

Everyone seems to be in the galley cooking breakfast. Ha! Eddie says Emile is making a meal. That was good. Amy says Emile is like a ticking time bomb and she knows no good is going to come from this. The guests are served breakfast and it’s time to dock for the final time this season. I would say it went off without a hitch, but without a hitch, they can’t dock.

My favorite part, time for the tip, is early in the episode because they’re going to focus on the crew. The primary guest is ecstatically happy and says he doesn’t know how he’s going back to real life. This bunch was relatively low maintenance, but I’d be happy just being there.

When the captain pulls out the envelope, Ben says that’s a load of plane tickets. This is only funny if you know that if a crew member really messes up, they get their tip plus a plane ticket out. $13K equals $1300 and change each. Wow. They’ve made almost $150K in tips this season. I didn’t add it up, the captain just said that.  Kate has flowers in her hair and looks really pretty. Rocky suddenly gets an attack of mature, and apologizes for being an a-hole and thanks everyone, especially Kate, for their patience and guidance. Well, good for her. I still don’t like her, but good for her. The yacht owner has arranged for a beach party for the crew.

Eddie is video chatting with his girlfriend and says they’ll have things to discuss when he gets back (I’ll bet), but they both seem excited at the upcoming reunion. I don’t know what he’s going to discuss, but I guarantee she’ll get excited when she sees this season. And not in a good way.

Amy gives Eddie a heads up about Rocky having blabbed about them. Eddie stomps off to find her, and Ben asks wtf? Amy tells him what’s going on. Eddie asks Rocky (pretending to be asleep) what she thinks she’s doing talking about this stuff. He wants to know what he did for her to make him look like this. She says she doesn’t want to do this now and hides under the blankets. Oooh, he says nothing happened. Bad Eddie! Emile, whose nose is in there too, asks why she would make something like that up. Rocky tells them all to leave her alone.

Amy stays behind and Rocky tells her they hooked up multiple times. Emile asks why Rocky would lie, and Eddie says maybe to make Emile jealous. Emile says Eddie is a d-bag and I have to agree, even though I don’t want to. Connie tells Emile she doesn’t believe Rocky because Rocky is nuts. It’s one of those boy who cried wolf situations. Kate just shrugs it off and says that explains why laundry wasn’t getting done. Ha-ha! She says she doesn’t give a flying if they’re doing it right now, because tonight she has off work and it’s all about her.

In his individual interview, Eddie says of course he’s going to deny it at first. Of course? What?

They have a drink on the beach, which is beautifully decorated, and Rocky looks like she might kill someone. They sit down to a beach dinner and Eddie builds a bonfire. Kate says it’s the most beautiful beach party ever and they have a sad love triangle ruining it.

Rocky approaches Eddie and asks to talk. Eddie says she’s a bright girl, he screwed up, he’s sorry if he hurt her, but she shouldn’t have blabbed their business to everyone, that they could have worked it out between them. Eddie apologizes in his individual interview. They decide to finish the season as friends and hug.  When they get back to the others, Eddie raises his glass and says it’s true, they shagged, which made me literally lol.

The girls burn their white work shirts. The shirts have the name of the boat on them and it changes every season, so I guess they don’t need them anymore.

Rocky says it was wonderful with Eddie, and she and Eddie banter back and forth. They’re saying some really inappropriate things, and needless to say, Emile is not happy. The captain says that he’s disappointed in Eddie. Me too. Eddie asks how he can make it right. Captain Lee says you can’t go back and change it, but he needs to own it and what he does moving forward is what counts. Did Eddie just say, “Thanks, dad?”

Eddie tells Rocky he made a mistake and suddenly becomes a d-bag again. He makes it sound like it’s all Rocky’s fault. She teased him and forced him to have sex with her. I’m on her side with this one. He says he’s off to tell his girlfriend and she wishes him good luck.

Ben tells Kate she deserves a really good guy, but he’s not there yet. Kate says she knows. He says he always wants to be there “even as a friend” for her, and we all know what that means. Although who knows with those two.

Rocky and Emile make plans to meet up in California. Emile says he doesn’t really have a crush on Rocky. I believe it if he believes it. He claims he’s not arrogant, he’s truthful. I have no idea what that means.

It’s time to say good-by. Kate gives Rocky a cold adios and Rocky takes one more dive off the boat. Kate says at first, you always want to run free on land, but then you miss the camaraderie and life on the water.

Captain Lee says it was a real sh*tshow, but at the end of the day, they made a ton of money, so they must have been doing something right.

The People’s Couch – Quotes of the Week

This show is so inappropriate. Mrs. Zeno referring to Scream Queens

The whole thing about this show is, don’t think too hard. Blake referring to Scream Queens

You’re a has-been at 15 today. Teddi, referring to Project Runway Junior

The People’s Couch is the funniest hour on TV. And that includes the hour The Big Bang Theory is in. I’m not a sitcom person, but I love that show. I used to hang out with a group of engineers and physicists, and it’s really like that. Just not as much fun. Next week, it’s the season finale for People’s Couch. Come on. They’re taking away my favorites, even though The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills being right around the corner (December 1) alleviates some of the pain.

Important information: The Beverly Hills Uncensored special is on Sunday, November 22 at 9 pm. Be there or be out having actual fun.

November 16, 2015 -Bon Voyage, Jason & Come Back, Shay


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Ava is going on a field trip with Avery to the aquarium. Paul shows up at the door with a teddy bear and some guy hanging onto him. Huh? I’m not kidding.

Sonny is back to his old jerk self, telling Carly that if she has a problem with his furniture rearrangement, she can move out. Another huh?

Sam tells Patrick that she and Jason kissed.

Jason tells Nicholas it’s all up to him now.

Tracy tells Hayden that her inbred euro trash prince stole ELQ, and they’re getting it back her way. I laugh because Graham Norton has a game on his talk show called “Gay or Euro Trash?”

Since videos play really slow in Robin’s lab, we see the same thing we saw Friday, with bad dude showing her Emma being tempted to go off with some woman looking for her dog. I swear, if that kid goes off with anyone she doesn’t know, I will denounce Patrick as a bad father. She’s certainly old enough to have been taught not to do that. Geez, you’d think Spencer might have even told her, since he acts like he’s old enough to be somebody’s dad.

Commercial break. It’s that “bad choices” commercial for Prego with the decades of hairdos. It always makes me laugh because I once had a body perm and my father asked why I got an “afro.”

Sonny doesn’t want anything changed to accommodate his wheelchair. Carly gives up talking to him and leaves. She tells the contractor putting in the railings to put them…well, no she didn’t say that, but she’s pretty frustrated. Sonny will be singing a different tune when he crashes into something or wants to take a shower. Sonny tells his henchman, Max, to keep an eye on Ava.

Paul has brought a nanny cam teddy for Ava, but she wonders who he wants to keep an eye on. There was absolutely no explanation about the guy hanging on him who is no longer there. Paul wants Ava to get back to work. Pushy, pushy.

Hayden says no worries, Nicholas is going down. That’s kind of too bad, since I really like them together. I’m hoping she’ll bring him down secretly and then be there to pick up the pieces.

Jason says that Nicholas knew who he was the entire time. I say, please get a clue about Elizabeth. He says the DNA test was 9 months ago and he had to have known.

Awkward moments between Sam and Patrick. She explains that she and Jason were going down Memory Lane about Danny and they kissed. She says that she thought maybe it would bring back memories for him, but it didn’t. Patrick wonders what would have happened if Jason had remembered.

The stranger woman says Emma reminds her of her daughter, Lark. (Wasn’t there a Lark on GH years ago?) Emma tells her that her mother is named after a bird too. The woman wants Emma to help her look for her lost dog, but Emma is like, no way I’m not supposed to go with strangers. The woman says the standard, I’m not a stranger, I’m Bella (the dog) and Lark’s mommy. They give you “info” about themselves so they suddenly seem familiar. Where the blip is Chris Hansen or somebody from Dateline when you need them?

Tracy asks how Hayden can go from playing footsy to blackmail. Hayden says if she told her, Tracy wouldn’t have much use for her. Emma gets grabbed by the woman, and they’re not far away, so when Emma screams, Tracy comes to the rescue (ah-ha! in Nelson voice). The woman disappears by the time Tracy gets there. Back at the lab, Robin brags to bad dude how great her kid is and he says she’s safe…for now.

Sam tells Patrick she still loves him. Patrick barrages her with questions, saying he can’t just wait in the wings while Sam decides what she wants to do because he can’t give her ten minutes to get her bearings. He gets a call from Tracy and runs out the door.

Nicholas says he got no results from the test, so his grandmother must have tampered with it. Oh yeah, blame the old lady. Jason says he has fragments coming back, and that he visited Sam and Danny. Elizabeth has a mini heart attack and he says he’s not going to just cut them out of his life. When Elizabeth leaves, Jason tells Nicholas that he wants the life that was stolen from him back and Nicholas is going to help whether he likes it or not.

Lucas (who I constantly want to call “Nathan”) tells Carly she needs to find a new “target” for Sonny, so he won’t take his anger out on her. Morgan offers to spy on Ava, but Sonny tells him don’t get involved.

Ava tells Paul she’s not sure she’s the right woman for the job, while sporting a lovely smoky eye that matches her outfit beautifully. Paul says he has every confidence in her, and she asks just what he’s actually dealing in. Good luck with that, since after 30 years, we still don’t know what Sonny does.

Lucas suggests a therapist for Sonny. Yeah, like he’s going to go for that one when he won’t even let them put in a railing.

Ava wants to know what merchandise she’ll be moving. She says the more she knows, the easier it is to adapt. Paul says he has to take care of his number one, meaning her, and they kiss. Morgan is at the door hollering – with that guy hanging off of him. What is this? A singles bar?

Bad dude says if there’s a next time, by the time an Amber Alert is issued, Emma will be long gone. Robin says they promised not to harm her family. But bad dude says that’s conditional on her cooperation. Didn’t she know that already?

Patrick arrives at the park, and Emma says she did what she was told to do. (Good job, Patrick!) A policewoman has taken the description of the stranger and Patrick tells Emma, let’s goes home. She asks if Sam and Danny will be there since Danny’s father came back.

Jason says rather than assaulting Nicholas, he’s going to take everything from him and leave him bankrupt. He says he’s going to exercise his right as a Quartermaine and get his ELQ stock back.

Snot rag Elizabeth shows up at Sam’s and says it’s time they talk about Jason. Go away, you lying, scheming witch.

Carly tells Lucas he was the voice of sanity she needed. Too bad they’re not dealing with a sane person (I.e. Sonny). He is rocking a nice beard though. Sonny says he’s the only one allowed to touch Ava. He also has doubts that Morgan will keep his nose out of it.

I guess that guy at Ava’s door is some kind of guard who is a little aggressive. Or has abandonment issues. Ava shoves Paul into another room and allows Morgan to come in. He says he’s there to bring some of Avery’s stuff. She says Morgan is welcome to see Avery whenever he likes.

Patrick asks how Emma found out about Jason. She says Spencer told her, since Patrick couldn’t be bothered. She starts to cry and asks if Sam is going away like her mommy did.

Bad dude says Robin controls what happens to her child. Robin says that Jason is alive now, and knows she wouldn’t willingly leave her family and will look for her. When he finds her, Robin says, bad dude will die. If I was her, I might be keeping that information to myself.

Jason tells Hayden to beat it, it doesn’t concern her, but she won’t leave. Nicholas again passes the buck to his grandmother.

Tyrant Elizabeth wonders why Sam dropped the motorcycle off in the middle of the night. She says Jason is still her fiancé. Sam says Jason is still her husband, and why doesn’t Elizabeth drop the act, since she just wants to mark her territory. I get a mental picture of a dog with Elizabeth’s head peeing on a fire hydrant.

Sam asks if Elizabeth is asking her to back off. Elizabeth says she shouldn’t tell Jason what he’s not ready to hear yet. Sam goes off on her. Elizabeth says Jason loves her. Sam says, oh yeah? What is she so worried about then? Touché!

Nicholas says his grandmother is now ensconced in the family compound. He says she’s frail and weak now, and too ill to answer questions. I laugh because I think the last thing Helena would ever be is frail or weak. Jason says he’ll take his chances and leaves.

Carly tells Sonny that the renovations will help with his rehab and that the doctors say it will take time and hard work. Sonny acts like a big baby and says waah, waah, waah, he’ll do it his own way. Okay, Frank Sinatra.

Morgan starts chatting up Ava about old times. Ava asks if Sonny sent Morgan. He says, no, he came there for Avery. She says he thought she’d fall into bed with him, and then he could run to Sonny with the pillow talk. He’s all, I don’t work like that, but she isn’t buying it. She tells him he’ll have to see Avery on Sonny’s visitation day and shows him the door.

Carly says Sonny can’t hold their marriage over her head every time they disagree. He says they got married to fight Ava and they lost, so they can kiss the wedding rings good-by any time. He takes his off and tosses it. Very, very bad move, Sonny.

Bad dude tells Robin that there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. He says Jason has bigger problems than her, and if he searches for her, they’ll see him coming. Of course they will. She just reminded them that it’s a possibility. He says that finishing her work is the only way out. What work is this? Do I not remember or were we never told?

Nice moment between Patrick and Emma. He says he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but that Sam loves her. Emma says he said the same thing about Robin and she left. This kid is a seriously fine actress. And I don’t often say that about children on soap operas. Usually, I think it must be the producer’s kid they were forced to hire.

Tracy calls Hayden and leaves a voicemail for her to be careful. The phone is sitting there on top of her open purse (like, who does that?) with the caller listed as “unknown.” I’m thinking somehow Nicholas is going to see this and Hayden is going to have to think on her feet.

Elizabeth says she noticed Sam still has her engagement ring on. She asks if Sam thinks he’s going to leave her because she’s sooo wonderful, and the life he has. She says he has a home, and Sam says, nope, he’s just living in Elizabeth’s house, and he moved in when he was Jake Doe. Sam says everything remains to be seen.

Jason goes off on his motorcycle to find himself. Literally.

Tomorrow, Lulu is going to ask for a legal separation from Dante.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa is looking for new cocktail dresses for the waitresses and picks out a really cute mini skirt version of a 50s-ish style. She says something about how she’d love to wear it, but she’s too old. I cry into my glass of seltzer with lemon because I wish I could look like Lisa wearing anything. She tells Katie and Scheana to quit picking on Lala. How can you not pick on someone names Lala? Scheana says Lala doesn’t really have a modeling gig, that it’s more like she has a sugar daddy and Lisa says that’s none of their business. I do tend to agree with that.

Lisa brings in Eric, the bar manager at PUMP, to teach the bartenders at SUR about some new cocktails. All of them think they’re too cool for school, Jax being the most vocal. They don’t seem to like Eric, and Ken tells Jax to suck it up. Jax says the one thing Eric can do better than him is kiss Lisa’s ass. During the lesson, Jax can’t seem to control his mouth. I like Jax less and less every season. He’s too old for this nonsense.

Lisa asks Katie and Scheana to go to PUMP for a refresh in service. Obviously there’s something wrong with Scheana, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Lisa confronts Lala about the modeling gig lie. She says she had the trip planned already, and Lisa says lying is no way to start things. Lala complains about the other girls bugging her.

Scheana goes running to the bathroom. Katie goes after her and asks what’s wrong. Scheana says that her husband, Shay, isn’t happy and left for a while. He’s also been drinking too much. Scheana says she doesn’t understand why he’s not happy – if it’s her or something else. She gets down on herself for not recognizing something was wrong in her own home.

The SUR servers gather at PUMP. Lisa has her number one at Villa Blanca give them a lesson in server sensitivity. They don’t like it, but I don’t know what the big deal is.

Schwartz has a modeling gig. He says his modeling career has been spotty at best, but lately he’s been on a roll. OMG, the girl who’s working with him has the cutest lace-up silver shoes ever! Schwartz says he’s ready to propose, but hasn’t put thought into the actual process. The model tells him to make sure Ariana is camera ready the day he’s going to pop the question, because she’s going to want to take a selfie. Please. Make it stop.

Ugh! It’s Kristen and James. James is lying his ass off about cheating on her. Kristen says that when they have an issue, they seem to skirt the real problem and it never gets resolved. She talks about him cheating on her, but believes he’s never slept with anyone else. This confuses me, but I assume she’s talking about him kissing someone else. I’d be with her on this one, except she spent an entire previous season lying about cheating on Tom with Jax. Kristen says cheating is a sign of insecurity and it’s about blaming the other person to deflect from your own miserable self. Maybe.

Lisa tells Scheana and Katie that she spoke to Lala and they need to stop picking on her and be nice to the new girl. Scheana says she has a lot going on, but she’ll try. Lisa says Lala has stuff going on too, and Scheana says she guarantees her stuff is bigger.

Tom is getting rid of his couch. Schwartz helps him take it to the curb. Apparently, the couch could tell stories. I don’t want to know. Schwartz talks about saving money for a ring. Tom says he’s never seen him be this calm about commitment. They discuss Shay and Tom says it’s weird that Shay left, since he and Scheana seem to work so well together. He also mentions Shay’s drinking.

Lala takes a break and Jax is waiting there like a spider. He asks how the girls are treating her, and he says she can be honest, because he doesn’t gossip, and even he laughs. He says he’s seen new employees not even make it through an entire day because of the other girls’ bullying. Lala says she’s been single for 3 years because she’s still hung up on her ex. Geez, that’s waaay too long. Especially for someone that young.

Scheana has a grey tabby cat that looks just like one that I had. He also has a black kitty buddy. Ariana drops in and Scheana spills the beans about Shay. She says everyone looks at them as the perfect couple, but they have a lot of problems. She says he’s not happy and drinking too much and it’s breaking her heart. She says she’s been putting on her happy face, but she’s not feeling it. She says she’s lonely without him, but wonders if they rushed things. She wonders if she’s been ignoring things because she was happy and just assumed he was. In her individual interview, she says there’s a lot that no one knows. This is a real shame because they did really seem very much in love.

Lisa sits down with James and asks him how it’s going. He says things aren’t going well with Kristen. (What a shock.) She says he needs Kristen in his life like he needs a boil on his ass. Enough said.

Scheana and Tom help Schwartz with the engagement ring shopping. Scheana says she knows what Katie wants and every girl has an idea of the engagement ring of her dreams. I didn’t. They meet with a jewelry designer who is a friend of Schwartz. The designer shows them an awesome diamond and says it will run about 7 grand with the setting. Scheana says that she’s seen Schwartz’s Modells ad about 12 times already, and he can swing it.

Scheana talks about adding diamonds to her wedding ring, but then says she and Shay haven’t seen each other in 4 days. She also says he’s drinking too much. Tom thinks maybe she’s being overbearing about it, and that could be why Shay wanted to get away.

Scheana goes to the bar to get her table’s drink order. Jax says he knows how to make the new drinks, but chooses not to, and then proceeds to not know what’s in them. Tom says maybe he (Tom, not Jax) should talk to Shay.

Lala is at the front taking reservations. James asks how it’s going. She says it’s been a little rough and that the girls seem to think she wants to shag their boyfriends, but she doesn’t use the word “shag.” James asks if that’s her MO and she says no. Was he just feeling her out? He tells her to hang in there and she asks if he honestly has her back. Lala says she’s not interested in little skinny guys, but she likes his accent.

Scheana sits down with Lisa (lots of sit downs tonight). Lisa says she knows something is wrong and she’s concerned. Scheana says she’s been putting on a front and saying everything is fine, but it’s not. She says that around Christmastime (3 months into the marriage), she noticed Shay’s drinking increased. She says he’s been mixing painkillers with the alcohol. She says he’s been taking five a day, along with several glasses of wine. I don’t know what kind he’s taking, but five is a lot, and with the alcohol, he’s asking for trouble. Lisa says she thought he was somewhat unmotivated, but never thought he was high. Scheana says she feels like she’s being cheated on because he was hiding it from her. Lisa says she’s right to take it seriously and be upset. Scheana wonders if there’s something wrong with her since she didn’t see it. She says she didn’t expect to be in this place, but I think most of us can say that about something in our lives after we’ve lived them for a while.

Next week, James and Kristen start therapy. That ought to be good. A shrink will have a field day with Kristen. Shay also returns.