November 27, 2015 — Of Chefs & Zombies


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


Master Chef Junior

Just a few words on tonight’s show. I don’t say too much about this one because making sarcastic comments about a children’s competition just wouldn’t be right.

The deal this week was a three team relay race to make 7-layer dip, with the judges ending up with their faces in the dip. They do a lot of Nickelodeon  type antics on this show. I guess the kids enjoy it. It’s kind of funny because they’re so mature, you sometimes forget they’re kids. Until someone’s face goes into the dip.

The winners also get to pick wrinkly, smelly or spicy ingredients for the non-winners (are we allowed to say losers anymore?) to use in the elimination challenge. One of the smelly ingredients is liver. I’m the only person on the planet who likes liver. In butter with mushrooms and onions. The winners pick the smelly ingredients for the others to cook with.

You know when Gordon asks you to taste something, it’s not going well for you. But that’s okay, kids who went home, I’m decades older than you and I wouldn’t even have a clue as to what to do with truffle oil.

Z Nation

We start off at the USA/Mexican border with a zombie trying to eat a drone. Operation Bite Mark is getting rid of a whole load of zombies and I’m wondering if 10K is still counting and how does he keep count anyway?

Murphy isn’t looking too good, but Roberta tells him that if he’s the zombie messiah, it’s time for a miracle.

Doesn’t happen, but suddenly a bunch of people in Day of the Dead makeup drop down from the roof like a SWAT team and take care of the mini horde.

It’s our old friend, Escorpion. Murphy outs himself as The Murphy, and Roberta says they have to get him to CDC. She says if Escorpion doesn’t back off, she’ll kill him. Murphy not Escorpion. Murphy shows his bite marks. Escorpion tells them to lower their weapons and he won’t interfere. He says if he wanted them dead, he would have left them to the zombies. Good point.

Escorpion is making zombies into compost from which he can create energy. He takes them through the building and out into a gorgeous compound on the Mexican side. Escorpion says they’re lucky one of his drones spotted them. He says he’s been tracking them and that whenever there’s some crazy bullsh*t going on, it’s them. He says their queen can give OBM a bounty better than the CDC. Since the bounty isn’t what OBM is after, I’m not sure what’s up here.

He introduces them to La Reina, Queen of the Zeros, played by Gina Gershon. She praises Roberta on her skills at getting Murphy to her, when her best men weren’t capable. On the side, Addy asks Roberta what the plan is. Roberta says to stay alive and get out when they can – with Murphy.

La Reina says Escorpion is aggressive and lacks tact so the people come to her for inspiration and hope. She says only the Zeros have the ability to distribute narcotics globally and she can get the antidote to the people. Her doctor has been working on a vaccine and the final ingredient needed is Murphy’s blood.

Oh dammit! It’s Dr. Kurian from the CDC suddenly popping in.

La Reina is surprised to find they know each other. She’d lost track of the doctor in Colorado, where he took off with her money and research. He was brought back to “atone.” She tells Roberta that she gets where Roberta is coming from, she would want revenge too, but she doesn’t want her killing the doctor. Roberta says she can’t anyway because they took her gun.  La Reina says that sometimes to save humanity, you have to put up with some disagreeable men, but some day that will change.

Murphy goes to Dr. Kurian’s lab. He asks why the doctor didn’t contact him and does he realize all the stuff Murphy’s gone through.  Dr. Kurian asks what he wants him to do, send a Hallmark card? Murphy gets ready to have his blood taken.

La Reina offers OBM future positions in her empire. Vasquez tells Roberta to say yes. La Reina says there is a formality first, an examination, and burlap bags are put over the heads of OBM. OBM is put into a room where they’re supposed to fight zombies with rather primitive weapons. Escorpion and his cronies place bets. A zombie is let in and Addy gives it mercy. Escorpion says he’s going to do them a favor and Vasquez flashes back to another time where he’s heard him say that before. Oooh, Escorpion was the guy who killed Vasquez’s family.  Escorpion turns out the lights and lets in a load of zombies.

When the lights come back up, the zombies are dead and OBM is still standing.

Dr. Kurian sticks a needle in a guard’s neck and brings him into the lab. He gave him a full dose of the vaccine. He immediately pops up with crazy eyes and tries to attack Murphy. Murphy does his mind meld thing and the zombie backs off. Murphy plays a mirror game with him for a while and then he keels over. Dr.Kurian apparently needs to work out some kinks.

In the meantime, the rest of OBM is getting spiffed up. Apparently, the Zeros had amazing outfits in just the right sizes. Ha-ha! Doc’s beard had rollers in it and comes out all curly. Escorpion tells them to come with him. We see the same tattoo as the guy had in Vasquez’s flashback.

There’s a big ceremony and La Reina comes out in a burgundy mantilla with a crown of buzzard skulls or something. She says she’s going to bestow the greatest honor on OBM by making them “one of us.” OBM are given their weapons back and it’s on to the celebration, which consists of Spanish music and a nice buffet.

Vasquez tells Roberta he wants to kill Escorpion and he has to do what he came there to do.

Addy is wandering around and sees some guys using a zombie as a piñata. Way to rock a party!

And there’s entertainment. Señor somebody gets on stage with his ventriloquist dummy and Escorpoin promptly shoots him in the head. Tough crowd. I would be afraid to follow that act. Luckily, the lady doing the flamenco dancing passes muster.

Roberta asks Murphy, who is dressed in a matador outfit, what happened. He tells her that Dr. Kerian took his blood. He says he wants a cure as much as anybody, but she says he’s enjoying his power too much.

Vasquez is about to shoot Escorpian in the back of the head, and Roberta stops him. Because Escorpion is standing in front of La Reina, the queen thinks Vasquez was going to assassinate her. Escorpion says he might be working with others and takes Vasquez away to be tortured. Escorpion asks why he was trying to kill the queen and he says he wasn’t.  He asks who Vasquez is working for, the Russians, the Chinese or rich people. Vasquez says he doesn’t know what Escorpion is talking about. Escorpion threatens him with an egg beater. A messenger comes to tell Escorpion something and he tells Vasquez he has good news, but not for him.

Dr. Kurian announces that he has the vaccine. La Reina wants a demonstration. For that he needs a volunteer. Escorpion graciously offers Vasquez. Le Reina says this is the beginning of a new world order. The doctor is about to inject Vasquez, when the screen says —

Continúara .

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