What I Watched Today
(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)
General Hospital — Thursday
Ewww! Dante and Valerie are flirting at work. Please tell me on what planet they would even allow this at a police station?
Lulu and Maxie discuss the whole Dante/Valerie thing. Lulu says they insisted they weren’t sleeping together the whole time, just on Thanksgiving when she walked in on them. Even though I know this is true, if I was Lulu, I’d be saying, yeah, right.
Tracy and Monica are discussing a Toys for Tots fundraiser. Monica thinks Tracy’s idea of the name “Winter Gala” is too boring. Monica suggests “Nutcracker Gala” and Tracy says it’s not horrible.
Paul and Ava are making out in the gallery. I guess it really is guns that Paul is smuggling because they talk about it. Ava wants to be apprised of everything that’s happening.
Anna is down at the docks and runs into Dr. Andre, who is running. Apparently, Andre told her that the medal isn’t absolute proof of Carrrlos being alive. Anna has stopped going to therapy and gets all defensive. She had the medal tested and it shows positive for Carrrlos’s DNA.
Geez, I missed a lot yesterday. Carrrlos is the father of Sabrrrina’s baby. She doesn’t want Michael to find out, so she wants to talk to the tech about avoiding discussion of the due date. Ha-ha! She goes in to talk to the tech and it’s Carrrlos in scrubs and a mask. Man, I just love this guy. He pops up everywhere.
Tracy tells Monica she’s in charge of the silent auction. Monica challenges Tracy to see who can drum up more bucks.
Ava tells Paul she wants to be more involved in the business. She wants to take Sonny down and tells Paul she wants him to see what she’s capable of. She’s capable of some other things too, but Tracy calls in the middle of it.
Ewww again! Valerie asks Dante if he wants to go on a date. These two are making me sick. They agree to keep things discreet at work. Fat chance in Port Charles. Valerie leaves and Nathan asks if he just heard what he heard.
Sabrrrina tells Carrrlos he’d better get lost since Michael will be there any minute. She also insists it’s not his baby. Felix tries to stall Michael by saying how well-received his green bean casserole was on Thanksgiving. Sabrrrina says she’ll meet Carrrlos in an hour if he goes now. The revolving door twirls, Carrrlos leaves and Michael and the tech walk in.
Andre tells Anna she still needs some therapy. She says their business is concluded, but Andre says if she doesn’t continue therapy, he’ll be forced to go to the police with what he knows.
Sabrrrina has a sonogram. Michael thinks the baby looks bigger than it should be. Because he’s had so much experience with this. I worked for two years at a gyn clinic and still don’t know what’s what with one of those. The tech says sometimes the baby can look bigger on screen. Okay.
Andre tells Anna that the shooting is still tearing her up inside. Anna says Carrrlos isn’t dead, and asks if Andre is trying to build a case against her. Andre says no, but this isn’t helping. She says it’s not going to help even more if he turns her in.
Paul tells Tracy he’ll meet her at the Metrocourt. He tells Ava he’ll call her later and his associate will pick up the guns.
Nathan is like, Dante, you need to calm down because everyone is noticing. He says Dante still loves Lulu, but Dante says Lulu told him it was over and he doesn’t want to drag it out.
Lulu is going on and on about what a witch Valerie is and how she tried to blame Lulu for everything. Maxie isn’t hearing a word though, because she’s working her cell phone like a boss, wheeling and dealing for the magazine. Lulu leaves.
In the hallway, Felix tells Angie (the tech) that he’ll take the sono over to the doctor. He tells Sabrina and Michael that Dr. Lee got called away and asked him to give them the details. He says the baby is about 20 weeks and everything is cool. He gives them a copy of the sono. Michael has a meeting, so he leaves.
Andre says technically he’s still Anna’s therapist, so what’s up? She tells him that she thinks Paul is involved. She says the body was cremated before she got a chance to see it, per Paul’s orders, and that the autopsy report was inaccurate. I’m guessing either Andre is into her or he really wanted to be a detective when he grew up.
Paul meets Tracy at the Metrocourt. Tracy tells him about the gala. She says it will get more attention if the DA is involved and it will give him good publicity. He says she has a point, since the position of DA has been a revolving door. I have news for Paul; there are many revolving doors in Port Charles. He asks what she needs him to do and she says be her date.
Monica goes to the gallery. She tells Ava she needs some art, and Ava asks what her price range is. Monica says “free.” She tells Ava it’s only fair since she’s responsible for the death of her son. (What? What happened?)
Valerie comes into the interrogation room where Nathan and Dante are talking. He leaves and Lulu shows up at the station, saying she wants to make a report of fraternization between Dante and Valerie. Nathan says that’s a pretty big deal. She says she doesn’t care and starts to get louder. Maxie comes running in behind her and says she doesn’t want to do this. Why not? I would. Maxie says she’s there to save Lulu from herself. She says that the result could be the loss of two cops and it’s not fair to the department. She asks Lulu to come to Kelly’s with her to ease her pain. With a BLT?
Michael shows up at the Metrocourt and yaps about the baby. He shows them the sono picture. Please don’t tell me that Tracy will figure out it’s not his baby just from looking at that.
Sabrrrina thanks Felix for his help. He tells her to be careful because her “bambino” is huge and at least 26 weeks. Sabrrrina leaves and Carrrlos emerges from his eavesdropping position.
Ava says she knows what will bring in the most money. Monica says she doesn’t need help, but says she’s not seeing anything that she thinks her donors will be crazy about. Then she points to the gun crate and asks what’s in it. Because we always do stuff like that at a gallery.
Nathan tells Dante he’s a lucky guy and that Lulu almost outed the both of them.
Maxie tells Lulu they’re getting fries because the situation calls for carbs. She says it would be a mistake to get Rocco’s father fired and Valerie would have gotten a slap on the wrist. She says the need to strategize and think of something big.
Andre tells Anna she’d best be careful. She leaves to go do whatever sneaky thing she has in mind.
Ava tells Monica the crate has artwork from a touchy artist, so hands off. Monica says she’ll be expecting two significant pieces of work, which just begs for one of the many sarcastic replies at the tip of my fingers.
Carrrlos meets Sabrrrina at the docks. He tells her he knows she’s carrying his baby and he’s mega excited. She tells him to do the right thing for once and leave Port Charles and not look back. He says, no way he’s going without her.
Tomorrow, Sam and Jason move forward with the divorce – maybe.
General Hospital – Friday
Paul shows up at the station looking for Anna. But Anna’s not at the station. She’s busy breaking into an apartment. Oops! She got caught.
Sabrrrina tells Carrrlos to do the right thing for once and get out of town. He says he’s not going anywhere without her, but she says she’s not going anywhere with him.
Blah-blah-blah, romantic stuff with Jason and Elizabeth. She says she’s worried about Jake. I’d be worried too, since he spent his formative years with Helena. Jason tells Elizabeth he saw Laura at Sam’s, but he doesn’t know what they were talking about. Elizabeth has a voicemail from Nicholas saying they have to talk.
Curtis calls Hayden and asks her to meet him outside of Kelly’s. She makes up some baloney story for Nicholas. For whatever reason, Nicholas tells Laura that Sam must have dropped her suspicions about who knew what. Laura says au contraire.
Sam meets with Alexis. Sam tells her that she has information that can break Elizabeth and Jason up. She wants a divorce pronto, so she’s not tempted to use it. Oh, come on, use it. Make me happy.
OMG – it’s Mac sneaking up behind Anna! I think the last time we saw him was like 2002. He says he’s been tailing her because he and Felicia haven’t been able to get ahold of her. She tells him she’s being accused of a murder she doesn’t think she committed and she’s breaking into Sloan’s apartment to try and find evidence.
All of a sudden, Elizabeth has errands to run and tells Jake she has to go.
Nicholas tells Laura she doesn’t know what Sam is thinking or what she’s going to do and neither does he. He says she might be asking questions, but that means she doesn’t have answers. Laura tells him to be prepared for things to blow up.
Sam says she’s convinced that Elizabeth is lying to Jason and she doesn’t want to put her life on hold because of it, and what difference does it make anyway? Alexis says that it obviously makes a difference to Sam.
Jordan tells Paul she doesn’t keep tabs on people who don’t work for her. Paul tells her they both have the same goal, but their working styles are different. He asks if she sees Anna to let her know he’s looking for her.
Anna explains what’s going on to Mac. He wonders whose body was pulled out of the river. She says that’s why she’s there, to find out. (Oh, duh, it was probably Sloan.) Mac says she’s rusty at breaking and entering, and takes the tools from her.
Carrrlos says no way he’s walking away from Sabrrrina and his child. Not gonna happen.
Sam says she reevaluated the consequences after Patrick pointed them out. Alexis says that eventually Jason is going to find out what’s going on, and when he does, is this going to affect things between her and Patrick?
Carrrlos asks what Sabrrrina has going on besides idiot Michael? She says she doesn’t love Carrrlos anymore and she’s not a kid anymore. She reminds him of the St. Christopher’s medal that she gave him. He says he lost it and she says, good. She says they started off with him being older, but now he’s like the child. She tries to leave but Carrrlos grabs her. Paul is lurking in the shadows.
Elizabeth walks in on Laura and Nicholas. Having heard the tail end of Laura’s conversation with Nicholas, she gets all stupid with Laura, thinking Laura told Sam something. Laura says she didn’t say anything, but Sam suspects everything.
Diane shows up at Elizabeth’s. She says she never met Jason as “Jake Doe,” but she’s pleased to meet him now. She says she’s prepared a statement and that he had a will in place, leaving a huge amount to Sam, but pretty much taking care of everyone else too. She says his estate is intact and he just needs to sign something saying he’s not dead and he’ll have access to it. I won’t mention that someone seemed to have access of it when he went to Greece, since the trip was paid for out of it.
Diane says she thinks he shouldn’t make any huge decisions until he fully grasps his situation. He says he wants a divorce now. She asks if it will be uncontested and he says he and Sam are on the same page.
Curtis meets with Hayden. He says there are too many familiar people inside Kelly’s for them to go in, so they’ll have to freeze outside. It’s colder in Port Charles than it is here.
Oh for God’s sake! They’ve decided to break in about discoveries in the San Bernadino shooting. Why? Why can’t this wait a whole 25 minutes?
Oh, thank you, great and powerful ABC, for giving me the last ten minutes. I think. We’ll see.
Alexis says Sam needs to make the choice that’s best for her and not anybody else. Sam asks what Alexis would do, and Alexis says Sam already knows the answer. I don’t. What is it?
Jason says he wants to make sure Sam and Danny are taken care of, as well as Elizabeth and the boys.
Elizabeth whines that she’s cursed. What an idiot! Laura says all three of them are victims of their own bad decisions and have to deal with it. Nicholas acts like everything is all cool, and says that Sam can ask all the questions she wants, but the only way things will go wrong is if Elizabeth panics and outs herself. Elizabeth leaves, and Nicholas asks Laura if they can give it a rest now.
Hayden returns. She says the meeting was nothing that couldn’t have been done through an email. She says everything is good, verging on perfect, and he asks why she seems so lost in thought. She says because she’s all wrapped up in how lucky she is.
Jordan sees Curtis at Kelly’s and it’s obvious she knows him.
Paul tells Carrrlos to leave Sabrrrina alone (she must have disappeared during the news break) and stay away from Anna. Carrrlos says he has no intention of bothering Anna again.
Anna calls a number she found at Sloan’s and Paul answers from his cell phone.
Jason goes to Kelly’s and Alexis asks how it’s going. She says she was just going over things with Sam. They both agree that everything should go smoothly, but I see something else in Alexis’s eyes.
Elizabeth gets home, but Jason isn’t there. She finds a love note form him and thinks everything is okay. There’s a knock at the door and it’s Sam.
Monday, Sam tells Elizabeth she knows everything. Whether she does or not.
Master Chef Junior
This week, it’s kids cooking for other kids in a carnival atmosphere. It’s a birthday party for kids from 8 to 12, the same ages as the contestants. There are two teams of eight, with the winners to be voted on by the guests. Gordon and Graham’s kids will also be in attendance, but not voting. One kid says they’re probably used to sophisticated food, and I say they’re probably begging for McDonald’s. I feel badly for the last kid picked.
I was hoping for corn dogs and curly fries, but the kids make fish tacos, turkey burgers and chicken wings. One girl is wearing a Ramones shirt and I laugh because most of the Ramones were probably dead before she was born.
The blue team wins and the pressure test is to make a croquembouche. You’ve probably seen this pastry, it looks like a tree of little balls of cake, which are profiteroles, something like cream puffs.
That’s okay, kids who went home. I can barely pronounce croquembouche and couldn’t make a profiterole to save my life.
My money is on Addie
They’re having auditions for the next season. Go to Fox.com/masterchefjunior
When last we left Operation Bite Mark, Dr. Kurian was about to inject Vasquez with the vaccine. Roberta tells La Reina that she doesn’t trust the doctor. La Reina says that the doctor should have the honor of taking the first dose and he’s like, no, no, you must have the honor. She says if she thought that, she would have said it. He injects himself.
And keels over. I think Murphy is eating popcorn. Yes, I believe he is. La Reina says to kill Kurian, thinking he’s going to turn into a zombie, but he says, no, I’m good (reminding me of, “I’m not dead yet,” from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. ). La Reina says to test him. Escorpion brings out a zombie head and it bites the doctor’s hand. They wait and nothing happens. Dr. Kurian says he can’t believe it actually worked. Me too.
The queen isn’t looking too good. She sort of swoons, but it seems to be out of happiness. She praises Roberta. She says because of Roberta, there is hope because she brought Murphy to them. La Reina says Roberta must be next. Murphy steps in and asks if he can have the honor of saving her life the way she’s saved his many times. I think he’s not buying that the vaccine is good and is going to pull a fast one.
And I’m right. He just pretends to inject her. Escorpion (who only La Reina seems to call “Hector”) says these are outsiders and not to be trusted. He asks to “question” Vasquez some more. While pummeling Vasquez, who is hanging from the ceiling, Escorpion asks him why he was trying to kill La Reina. He says he wasn’t.
Everyone is getting injections. Murphy has kept OBM from actually getting the vaccine. La Reina says she’s feeling strong and calls Roberta to come drink with her. I love Gina Gershon in this role. You can tell she’s having fun.
Murphy is in Kurian’s office and says it’s a priceless turn of events. “Not if I can help it,” the doctor tells him.
Vasquez says he was trying to kill Escorpion, and reveals who he is and says that Escorpion killed his wife and daughter. Escorpion actually seems to be having the feels when Vasquez describes how his daughter died. Escorpion says he should have killed Vasquez too. He says that explains Vasquez, but what about the others. He wants to know what Roberta wants with the queen. He orders Vasquez to be put into “the maiden.”
La Reina and Roberta are bonding over drinks. La Reina has been saving some $2000 wine for a special occasion and this is it. La Reina toasts to new beginnings and also to her true love, because if he hadn’t died during the apocalypse, she wouldn’t be where she is today.
Kurian mixes up something to reverse the effects of the serum. Too late. Murphy does his mind meld thing on the doctor and makes him drop the antidote. Murphy says, “Oops! Did I do that?” a la Urkel.
Roberta walks in. Murphy demonstrates his control over Kurian. Roberta realizes that what was in the needles wasn’t a vaccine. Murphy tells her that Kurian is building him an army of zombie blends. She asks if he’s still going to California and he says maybe, but it will be with his army that he can control. Roberta reminds him that he didn’t control Cassandra very well. Murphy tells her the bright side is, she didn’t get injected because he likes her just the way she is.
Vasquez is put into a box with a chained zombie. Escorpion says they’re more alike than he realizes.
Roberta tells Doc, Addy and 10K that the vaccine is really just turning people into zombie slaves for Murphy. She says they’re going to California regardless, even if they have to take Murphy by force. She says that there’s an incubation period, but they need to move fast.
Escorpion tells a story about his son being shot in a drive-by and dying in his arms. He says Vasquez thinks the apocalypse gave him a reason to kill, but they all have their own apocalypse going on. The queen asks for his presence and he leaves Vasquez with the zombie two inches from his face.
Escorpion tells La Reina that Roberta is head of an assassination team that wants to take over their operation. Everybody just stares at everybody for a second, and then Roberta says he’s lying. She says all she wanted to do was bring Murphy to California so they could make a vaccine and that Vasquez wanted revenge on Escorpion. Escorpion draws a gun on Roberta.
Murphy has control over La Reina and suddenly she’s saying Escorpion is a trash bag and to take him away. He’s about to be dragged away and vows to kill Roberta. La Reina tells Roberta to kill Escorpion. Roberta tells Murphy it’s done and to knock it off. La Reina then tells them to do with Escorpion what they will. Roberta tells Murphy she doesn’t want any part of it, and he tells her if she isn’t part of the solution, she’s part of the problem. She tells Escorpion to take her to Vasquez.
Kurian comes in and Murphy asks what’s up. Kurian tries to attack him, but La Reina pushes him away. The court starts to circle Murphy. Murphy takes a knife and slices his own hand so that blood drips on the floor. The zombie blends start lapping it up. Murphy grabs the doctor and backs out of the room.
Roberta finds that the rest of OBM is trying to free Vasquez. Addy holds Escorpion at knife point and they get Vasquez out of the box – and put Escorpion in.
Murphy throws Kurian into an examining room, where he tries to bite at Murphy. Murphy calls him a zombie quack and Roberta comes up behind Kurian and takes his head off. She asks Murphy if he’s ready to go to California. Murphy puts on his spiffy traveling outfit and they leave, with Kurian’s head calling after them.
La Reina finds the doctor’s head and asks where Murphy is. She and her court start to follow OBM. Doc says they’re going to need something to slow them down. He says what better idea to fight half zombies than full zombies. They start to look for where Escorpion was keeping zombies for compost. They decide to let the zombies loose. Roberta tells Murphy to let his people go.
Murphy does magic trick hands, and bibbidy bobbidy boo the doors open and zombies pour out. Murphy sends them in the direction of La Reina while OBM goes the other way. It’s quick and unmerciful.
Roberta tells the others to keep going, but she’s going to wait for Murphy. Addy waits at the door while the others go out into the sunlight.
Murphy has some angst about leaving, but Roberta says they were given a chance and there’s nothing more he can do. They run to join the others. OBM just makes it up the stairs before the mass of zombies gets there.
When OBM gets outside, they see a real mess. Dead bodies, burned up cars, rubble where buildings were. And freaking Escorpion! He says no one disrespects him and lives. Roberta is about to shoot him, but Vasquez stops her. He’s going mano a mano with Escorpion.
Vasquez must be pretty tough because Escorpion is beating the crap out of him and it takes him a while to fall. He gets his memories going about his family and rises up. Now it’s his turn to beat the crap out of Escorpion. He ends it with throwing him down the stairs and into the zombie crowd at the bottom. Escorpion goes down cursing them out.
Doc and 10K see an El Camino dealership and are ready to rock and roll and get a new car. And you get a car! And you get a car! Everyone drives off in their own vehicle. 10K sees a drone following them, which is how they got into this mess, and shoots it with a slingshot.
At the border, where it says “Welcome to the United States,” someone has crossed out “United States” and written “Z Nation.”
The doctor’s head says, “It’s you. You’re alive,” and someone picks the head up. It looks like La Reina to me.
Only two more episodes left. ☹ Next week, Citizen Z is back!