Monthly Archives: January 2016

January 29, 2016 — GH x 2 + Chefs x 2 + 1 Unfriend + 3 Quotes


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital – Thursday

Sam comes into the hospital. Franco is at the desk and asks her if she’d like to go for coffee.

Elizabeth is trying to get Jake to do something normal, but since he’s gone to the darkside, he doesn’t want to. Jason stops by. Elizabeth says it was an uneventful night.

Morgan wants to move out of the friend zone with Kiki, but she says she’s working and doesn’t want to talk about it right now.

The hospital commissioner tells Anna and Robert she’s never met the couple who was scheduled. She tells them the fake names that Carrrlos and Sabrrrina gave the hospital. Since they weren’t too creative, the last name is Rivera and Anna and Robert know it’s them immediately. They ask for any information the commissioner has.

Sabrrrina says that after what happened to Gabriel, she’s not getting in a car. Carrrlos has to take a call. It’s Paul, who tells him that he’d best not call, write or send smoke signals, because if Anna doesn’t catch him, Sonny will.

The commissioner says she can’t give out patient information or the clinic can get into trouble. Anna and Robert tell her that Carrrlos is a murdering fugitive who has Sabrrrina as a hostage.

Paul says Carrrlos needs to disappear now. Carrrlos says Sabrrrina can’t travel and he’s not going without her. He says that Paul had better hope Anna doesn’t catch him, or he won’t be the only one going to prison.

Sonny’s steps weren’t exactly legit. He was just holding himself up. He gets all stupid and feeling sorry for himself. Carly says she knows he’s impatient, but it’s still fantastic that he can stand. Sonny tells Carly not to tell anyone, especially the kids.

Morgan says he and Kiki share a bond. She says they do, but it’s better as friends. He says he’s dug deep in therapy and he knows what he wants and it’s her. That’s right. What it takes most people years to do, he’s done in only two sessions. Now I want to ask him if he’s taking his meds.

Sam says the courts might have given Franco a free pass, but she never will. She says she has bigger problems than him, and he says yeah, like Elizabeth.

Jake gives Jason a picture he drew and says Jason should hang it above where he and mom sleep. Jason is like, we’ve been over this already, and Jake asks him if he’s moving back in.

Sonny makes Carly promise not to tell what she thinks she saw. He says she takes something she wants to happen and makes it a reality in her head. He says a whole bunch of ridiculous things about people encouraging him because he’s weak. He tells Carly she has to respect his choice.

Jason once again tells Jake that he loves him, but he and Elizabeth aren’t getting married and he’s not moving in. Jake wants to know the details, but Elizabeth says it’s a grown-up thing.

Franco says Sam should be more gracious in her victory and cut Elizabeth some slack. He also tells her that she doesn’t have a monopoly on redemption. He says he’s trying to help Elizabeth. Sam suggests he’s the one breaking in.

The commissioner says all they have is the couple’s name. She says the appointment was made through their online booking system. Anna says she needs the IP address and Robert wants to talk to the clinic’s IT guy. Anna’s phone rings and it’s Paul asking if she misses him.

Carrrlos says Sabrrrina is his hero. He admires how she left everything to go with him and says they’re going to have an amazing life. He says he’s put away some money over the years in a Grand Keys account. He says they can go there and make a personal withdrawal. He says it’s warm, tropical and beautiful and they can stay there as long as she wants. I’m totally ready to go.

Anna asks if everything is ok. Paul says, you tell me. He asks if she’s in Berkeley right now and she says yes.

Sabrrrina says she realizes love is all that matters.

Carly says she won’t tell anyone on one condition. She wants to know if his pride is keeping him from accepting help. She doesn’t want his progress impeded because he wants to do it himself. He says Epiphany is up to speed.

Morgan says he’s just poured his heart out and deserves an explanation as to why Kiki is blowing him off. She says she doesn’t know him anymore. She says whenever she sees him, she has to wonder which Morgan she’s getting that day.  She says she has enough uncertainty in her life and can’t be with a stranger. Is he going to get stupid now? He takes disappointment about as well as Sonny does.

Jason asks Elizabeth if therapy is helping Jake at all. She says it seems to be and he asks if he should come in for the next session. Elizabeth says not until the doctor thinks it’s time. Jason says he’ll just concentrate on his own therapy right now then.  He says he’s about to start hypnosis. Elizabeth asks why, and Jason tells her he had another memory. She’s pretty disappointed to find out it was about him and Sam.

Franco doesn’t know what Sam is talking about. Sam tells him about Jake’s New Year’s Eve scare and the break-in. He says that kind of stuff is beneath him and Sam says maybe Elizabeth was behind him doing it.

Franco asks exactly what she’s accusing him of. He says he likes his life and doesn’t want Jason or anyone else to screw with it. He adds that Elizabeth wouldn’t terrorize her own children and Jake has enough problems.

Elizabeth gets nosy about Jason’s memory. He tells her about it and she says it sounds like he’s making progress. He says he hopes the hypnosis will push him through. She says even though she didn’t want him to remember before, but she does now. Not for his sake of course, but she wants him to know that she’s not all bad. She says despite what’s happened, she’s his friend. With friends like that, etc.

Sonny says he has to do things on his own terms. Carly says she won’t tell anyone. She says that he’s too arrogant for her to pity him. He says thanks for believing in him and Carly says she always has. Max has to talk to Sonny, so Carly leaves. Sonny tells Max he lied to Carly about not getting his legs back, when he is.

Paul tells Anna that they need to talk about her future. She says she realizes she took some personal time, but is she doing that badly at her job? He says it doesn’t seem to be working for either one of them, but he wants to arrange it so it does. When Anna hangs up, she tells Robert that Paul is on to her.

Sabrrrina says Carrrlos must want a boy, but he says wrong, he’s just hoping for a healthy baby, but if he had his wish it would be a daughter. He could love and spoil her and she’d never have to be lonely or afraid and would never know the mistakes he made. Sabrrrina says it will be fine until she’s a teenager and they make some silly things up about the boys she’d date. Carrrlos says maybe when she’s in her 30s, she’ll meet someone who’s almost good enough for her. Sabrrrina asks what if it’s a boy? Carrrlos says he’ll learn that character is the most important thing and his life will mean something. Sabrrrina says she thinks it’s time to push.

Morgan says Kiki is right and that he doesn’t even know himself. He says he’s learning to live with his illness day by day and is starting to feel like a normal person. He says they can be friends, but he thinks they’re just hiding their true feelings.

Sam asks Franco what’s up with Jake. He says if Jakes parents want to tell her, that’s one thing, but he’s not telling her anything. He says she has issues to work out but making a scapegoat of Elizabeth isn’t going to help

Elizabeth says she’s really not a terrible person and she doesn’t want Jason to hate her. He says he doesn’t; she’s the mother of his son and that’s who they need to focus on right now. Elizabeth has to go to work, but the sitter is late. Jake says he’ll stay until she gets there.

Boom! The baby’s here. Sabrrrina asks if it’s a boy or a girl, and Carrrlos doesn’t say anything. She asks for the baby and when he still doesn’t respond, she knows something is wrong.

Anna says she knows what Paul is implying and she has to go back and do damage control. Robert says the phone was traced to a hotel and they’re getting Carrrlos once and for all.

Sonny says the only ones who know are Max and Epiphany. Max says that’s not fair to Carly. Sonny says he doesn’t want his enemies to know he’s improving. He says he doesn’t want Carly involved in the business, even in keeping secrets. Max asks what the plan is. Sonny says when he’s on his feet, he’s taking back the city and getting rid of the unsavory elements, which sounds funny coming from him. He says to let them think he’s helpless, weak and trapped in the chair, and one day they’ll be in for a surprise.

Kiki says she’s proud of Morgan and can’t wait to see which Morgan he becomes. She says she’s not ready for a relationship, but she’ll go on a date with him. No expectations.

Max tells Sonny about that the guns Raj is moving are high grade military weapons.  Sonny wonders why Ava is involved. He says she’s putting Avery in danger and he’s not letting his baby girl get hurt.

Anna and Robert bust into the hotel room, but Sabrrrina and Carrrlos are gone.  As they’re about to leave, two cops barrel in with their guns drawn.

Jason looks at Jake’s drawings. They all seem normal until he gets to the last one, which is the drawing of Sam. Franco is also looking through Jakes drawings in his medical folder. They’re all weird. Jason trips down Memory Lane in his head and realizes the drawing is of Sam. Jake asks if he likes the pictures.

Tomorrow, Jason questions Jake about the picture and Lulu asks for help getting Dante back.

Random Thought

I don’t know what it is, but I’m just not into American Idol this time around. Did it start happening when we lost Simon? Randy? Stephen Tyler? Did it happen when they stopped showing us the worst of the worst? That was actually the best. Was it that they just couldn’t top season 10? Scotty McCreery for the win, Haley Reinhart who I loved to hate, and Lady Gaga playing at the part where they bring in the celebrities. Maybe it was all downhill from there. Or maybe since I know it’s the final go around, I just don’t want to invest any more time.

Regardless, although I’m only half-watching, it’s always hard to say good-bye to an institution. Idols, we salute you.


Occasionally, I’ll write about a movie I’ve seen that’s exceptional. This is one of them.

The title is somewhat unfortunate. When I first heard it, I figured the movie would be some kind of cheap stalker film like Swimfan. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. I’d previously read that it was better than its title, and had been shown at Sundance under the title Cybernatural.

This is a real ghost story in every sense of the word. What makes the film unique is that It all takes place on a computer screen, there’s no action outside of that. For some reason, this makes it even more frightening. Maybe because I spend so much time on here.

A group of friends is video chatting and a stranger joins them. A stranger with only an icon for a face. Our POV is that of the main character, Blaire, and we go through her discovery that the stranger is a dead friend, one that committed suicide because of cyber-bullying.  It’s eventually revealed that this ghost is going to pick them off one by one.

What I really loved about this film was how real the computer screen seemed. It’s totally plausible how Blaire is going through her social media — Facebook, video chat, YouTube and text chat – as well as clicking on links she receives through them. No Twitter is used. I’m guessing because that’s such a public forum, and we’re made to feel that the characters are trapped in their private world. Even the way Blaire’s cursor moves around is incredibly real, and the way she writes messages, changing her mind about what she’s going to say and hesitating to hit send.

There’s a minimal amount of gore, again seen only on the computer screen. It’s made all the more creepy because we rarely see anything clearly with pixels breaking up.

So much better than I thought it would be, Unfriended captured and held my attention all the way through. The premise is unique, the story is intense and the acting is superb. It’s on HBO rotation now, and I highly recommend giving it a look. Although you might not want to get online for a while afterwards.

 General Hospital – Friday

Dante is about to sign the divorce papers, when Mayor Lomax knocks on the door. She wants to have a conversation away from the public. She insists on Dante getting Olivia to drop the lawsuit.

Alexis is going over the case with Olivia. She says she expects a lot of supporters, and she hopes the mayor doesn’t fill the audience with her lackeys. Olivia is surprised that people watch a trial because she lives at the MetroCourt and has no clue as to how the outside world works.

Lulu asks Maxie to help her get Dante back.

Christina is packing her suitcase to fake going back to school. Sam tells her she should tell Alexis she’s been suspended and that she isn’t going to be able to keep it up forever. Christina says she’ll get an apartment and a job and go back next semester. Sam tells Christina she had a distressing conversation with Franco. Christina asks why she’s even speaking to Franco, and Sam says she had to talk to him because of Jake.

Franco tells Elizabeth that art therapy might help Jake with his feelings. He suggests they start today. Elizabeth asks why it’s so urgent.

Jason asks Jake who the woman in his drawing is supposed to be, although he has a pretty good idea already that it’s Sam.

Dante tells the mayor he knows all about what happened and he supports Olivia 100%. She says that she’s had her mind on budget cuts. He asks if she’s threatening him with his job. She says that would be unethical, but she was looking over his folder and sees that he’s involved with the Big Brother program. The one for kids, not the reality show. She says a lot of the funding comes from the city, and that protecting the program would be quid pro quo. He says she can’t buy him and to get out before he reports her. She wonders how his wife stays with him. How is she totally out of that loop?

Lulu says Dante thinks there’s no way back because of what they’ve discovered about themselves – he cheated and she sought revenge – and doesn’t want it spilling over on Rocco. Lulu tells Maxie about how Valerie called it quits before the whole Johnny debacle happened. She says she came to realize that one act doesn’t define their marriage. Lulu tells Maxie she has a plan to surprise Dante at the loft, but she stupidly threw away her key when she got mad.  Maxie says she’s on thin ice with Nathan , but she would still borrow the key if she knew where it was. She says she knows someone else with a key though.

Olivia says everyone is staring at her and they are. She says they’re not looking at her face either. She says when she gets a cancelation, she wonders if it’s because of the lawsuit. She thinks maybe she didn’t think things through and that she s not sure if she wants to be the poster child for public breastfeeding.

A woman, who obviously recognizes Olivia, approaches their table. Alexis tries to stop her from speaking, but she says Olivia needs to know something from her.

Franco tells Elizabeth that someone else was concerned about Jake’s artwork. She asks who and if he spoke to the therapist.  After hemming & hawing, Franco tells Elizabeth he talked to Sam about the drawings.

Christina asks why Sam was discussing Jake with Franco. She says she thought maybe Franco was in cahoots with Elizabeth, but they ended up talking about Jake. Franco let slip Jake is in therapy, but wouldn’t tell her why. Christina tells Sam to mind her own business and not get involved with Elizabeth’s kid drama.

Jake waffles on who the woman in the drawing is and settles on it’s just a bad woman he made up. Jason says Jake can always tell him anything and asks again who it is.

The stranger says what Olivia is doing is wonderful. She says she would have liked to do the same in her day and thanks Olivia for standing up for a basic right for all mothers. The entire place applauds, and we see where Dante got his jumping to conclusions from. Alexis says they’ll get support, but there will also be antagonists. Olivia realizes the lawsuit isn’t just for her, because she lives in the same bubble that Glinda the Good Witch of the North lives in. Alexis says they’ll win, assuming Olivia is still on board and Olivia says hell yes.

Alexis leaves and Lulu sits down. She tells Olivia she needs help in saving her marriage. Olivia says she’s disappointed in her.

Dante says he knows what the mayor is doing and that she’d like him to do something stupid, but his mother’s lawsuit is going to take care of everything. He tells her again to get out and she’s says he’s a lousy husband and a rotten son, because she doesn’t know he’s really a cheating, waffling loser.

Jason asks again about the picture. Jake now insists it’s a bad woman from a video game. Jason asks to see the game and Jake says he doesn’t remember which one it is. Jason says again that Jake can tell him anything and asks if he can take the picture. Jake asks if he’s mad. Jason says no, the picture is just interesting and if Jake remembers more, to tell him. Someone is at the door. It’s the sitter, and of course Jake whines for Jason to stay.

Elizabeth asks if Sam told him she suspects that Elizabeth broke into her own house. Franco tells her she suspected him too. Franco keeps trying to tell her something about Jake, but she won’t hear it. She says she’s not discussing Jake with him and he’d better not discuss her son with anyone else.

Christina says Sam is just going to make trouble for herself. Sam asks if Christina thought she was treated unfairly with being suspended and is there something she’s not talking about. Christina says Sam knows everything , and repeats what happened to catch everyone up. Sam isn’t buying it that’s all there is to the story.

Olivia says she tried to tell Dante that they should work things out. Lulu tells her about the key. She says if Olivia wants to help save their marriage, she needs the loft key.

Sam tells Christina to call her if she needs anything and that Sam has her back. She adds she’s going to take Christina’s advice. She says Elizabeth is so manipulative, it will backfire; she’ll hold it against Sam and try to get Jason to do the same. Christina says Elizabeth is the type of woman who acts all helpless when they’re really yanking the guy’s chain. Sam says she’s going to talk to Elizabeth. Like that’s ever helped before.

The sitter is covered with silly string. She goes to the bathroom to clean up and Jake examines a marble coaster carefully.

Jason comes to the hospital and says he needs to talk to Elizabeth. He shows her the drawing. He says Jake told him at first it was a real person, and then said it was a video game character. He thinks Jake lying to him is cause for concern and they need to get him help right away. Franco hears him and seconds the motion.

Dante tells Olivia that she and Alexis must be doing a good job, because the mayor tried to get him to talk her out of the lawsuit. He also wants to know if she’s been bothering Olivia. Olivia says no, and asks what else is up. Dante asks if she’s seen Lulu.

Lulu and Maxie go to the loft. Lulu asks Maxie to set a romantic stage. Maxie says she could do that herself, so why is she really there? Lulu wants her opinion about a red slip dress she has on under her coat. Maxie says it’s beautiful even if it isn’t this season. Lulu says it’s the dress she was wearing when she told Dante she was pregnant. She says they went through a lot of heartache trying to have a baby, but finally got Rocco. She wants to remind him of the good in their lives and how they achieved something when they worked together. Maxie says Lulu definitely has a chance. They start getting the candles out.

Maxie opens a drawer and the divorce papers are there.

Alexis gets home before Christina leaves. She says it makes her sad when Christina to see her go. She says she wishes it was like when Christina was little and they were close. Alexis tells Christina she can always tell her anything

Jason asks Franco if he’s been eavesdropping. Franco says he knows Jake needs help. Jason tells him to butt out and he says fine, he tried. Elizabeth stops him from leaving and the three of them go into a private room. She asks Franco what he was trying to tell her. Franco shows them the folder with the morbid drawings.

Jake is looking out a broken window. I assume he used the coaster. He deliberately (?) cuts himself on the jagged glass. Or maybe he’s just stupid and wanted to check how sharp it was. There’s a knock at the door and it’s Sam. She asks him what happened to his hand.

Olivia tells Dante that Lulu was there with Maxie earlier. She asks if he has any thoughts on what they’d discussed earlier. He says he had the divorce papers drawn up. Olivia says she meant for him to think about it for more than 10 minutes. He says he didn’t do anything with them yet and Olivia says give it time.

Lulu says Dante hasn’t signed the papers, so there’s still a chance for him to change his mind. She tells Maxie to work her magic on the atmosphere.

Christina tells Alexis some baloney about how she supports Alexis’s marriage to Julian and she’s happy for her even if her dad isn’t. Alexis says she knows something else is going on. Christina says no, that’s it, and she hopes Alexis’s good luck rubs off on her in the love department. Alexis tells her she can bring a date to the wedding.

Jake says someone threw a rock through the window. Sam asks if he saw someone throw the rock. He says yes, but Sam says there’s no rock and there’s no glass on the floor, so it came from inside the house.

Franco says it doesn’t take an expert to see Jake is upset about something. Jason says he’s not a doctor. Franco says no, but he’s an artist and he knows that Jake is in distress. He says pictures that show this much anxiety and rage mean he’s already acting out.

Sam tries to talk to Jake and he runs downstairs to the basement.

The mayor approaches Olivia and Olivia asks how she dare shake Dante down. The mayor says she was merely visiting a city employee, and by the way, all city functions in the hotel are canceled until the lawsuit is settled. Olivia is like, you can’t do that, and the mayor says, you want a war, you got one.

Dante comes in to the loft. Lulu, standing there in her red dress, asks him if he remembers that night in August. He says yes, he does, and what is she doing there. She tells him trying to save their marriage.

Alexis says good-bye to Christina and leaves. As Christina opens the door, a woman is standing there. She addresses the woman as Parker and I go, oooh.

Jason says there’s never been an intruder; it’s Jake. He says Franco is right and that Jake needs a lot of help. I’m impressed that he got it this quickly. He’s no dummy.

Sam follows Jake, saying that no one will be mad at him. She falls down the stairs and lies unconscious at the bottom.

On Monday, Nina wants to help Olivia and Jake looms over Sam’s unconscious body. As much as a kid can loom anyway.

MasterChef Junior

It’s the finale and we’re down to 9-year-old Addison (Addy, who’s won more challenges than anyone else) and 9-year-old Avery. Family and friends are there to cheer the girls on. Brava, young ladies!

The first challenge is to make a 3-course dinner. I take a last, longing look at the pantry. Addy is going the pan Asian seafood route and Avery has chosen a Creole creation. They have 90 minutes. The heartland versus the bayou.

Uh-oh, Addy gets cut. I mean cut with a knife, not cut from the competition. She’s cool though. She falls a little behind, but sucks it up and soldiers on. When the girls get to creating their desserts, I almost go out of my mind because everything looks so fresh and delicious. OMG – Avery is “elevating” a strawberry rhubarb shortcake. I wouldn’t even know what to do with the rhubarb. These kids are just amazing, especially since the people in the gallery cheering them on are really boisterous.

Of course all the dishes are fabulous – even more so for 9-year-olds – and Gordon says it’s the closest it’s ever been.  Once again, it’s down to details I wouldn’t have a clue about. The judges switch places with the girls so that they can get some well deserved applause. I love how they never talk down to the kids and treat them with respect. They made the show fun for the junior contestants, but the challenges were just as tough as with the adult MasterChef.

MY GIRL ADDY WINS!!! I feel so proud. She gives props to Avery and says that either one of them would have deserved it today. I hope Avery takes that to heart. I’m sure she’s disappointed, but she’s already further ahead in her culinary skills than most of us could ever hope to be, even if we lived forever.

Well played, junior chefs!

Quotes of the Week from The People’s Couch

This whole thing is a nerdgasm. Blake referring to the return of The X-Files.

It’s never good when a guy’s holding his junk walking in. Joe Resnick, referring to an episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER.

Think of every great person on the planet. If they didn’t get yelled at they’d be average as hell. Lamont Zeno, referring to a contestant on Pitch Slapped.


January 27, 2016 — Port Charles & a Little Atlanta & L.A.


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Anna and Robert arrive in Canada.

Sabrrrina is going stir crazy in the hotel room and tells Carrrlos she’s not staying there another minute.

Morgan starts working at Corrinthos Coffee. Max asks how he’s doing. He says it’s not the job he wanted, but it’s a job. Darby shows up at the warehouse.

Kiki waits on Paul who gives her a huge tip. She asks if he’s giving it to her because of her mother.

Ava tells Carly she may not like it, but Avery is as much a part of Sonny’s family as hers and she wants to do what’s best for Avery.

Julian says he was foolish to think he could have a truce with Sonny. He says Sonny can hold a grudge if he wants, but he’s just going to live his life. Sonny tells him he has one more thing to tell him if he wants to live longer.

Darby tells Morgan he’s all sweaty and worked too hard on his first day. He asks why she’s really there. She says she brought pictures of the party he missed. He looks at her phone and says he really missed something, and she says maybe she can rectify that and kisses him.

Kiki says she assumed because she had seen Paul and Ava together, they were friends. Paul says Ava walked away from a murder charge because a piece of evidence disappeared, and if it ever reappears, he would be the one to have to prosecute, so they can’t be friends. He says they only see each other on a business level and he’s just a generous tipper.

Ava says Sonny will never see more of Avery than he does now. Ava says Carly manipulated Kiki into backing her up. Carly says Kiki made up her own mind and Ava doesn’t have a selfless bone in her body. Ava asks if the positions were reversed, would Sonny allowed her to see Avery? Carly says eventually the positions will be reversed and they’ll do what’s best for Avery. She says Ava sees Avery as a weapon. She says Ava doesn’t care about Avery’s happiness any more than she did with Kiki, but Avery won’t have to put up with it for as long.

Julian says he’s not interested in that life anymore. Sonny tells him he doesn’t buy it. Julian says he’s finally out and Sonny laughs. He says he can’t stop Alexis from marrying him, but he can bide his time.

The hospital commissioner in Halifax says they haven’t heard about anyone seeing Carrrlos and Sabrrrina. Anna tells her that Sabrrrina will be seeking medical attention soon, so please let the hospital staff know. Anna tells Robert that she thinks Sabrrrina would have wanted to be checked out after coming there on a freighter.

Sabrrrina says she’s done everything Carrrlos told her to so far, but she’s not putting her child in jeopardy. She says they can’t wait until the last minute to find a doctor and she’s not running any more. She tells him if he wants to continue on, go ahead, she’ll find her way back to Port Charles. She says after losing Gabriel she’s going to do whatever she needs to in order to make sure her baby is safe.

Paul and Ava enter the same elevator. He wants to know what she’s told Kiki about them.

Kiki texts Morgan, who is getting busy in the warehouse with Darby. He stops, telling Darby it’s not a good idea. He says his life is complicated enough right now. She says if he changes his mind, he knows where to find her. Sonny and Carly come in and Darby introduces herself on the way out. They wonder who the blip she is and when Morgan comes out, Carly gets a clue.

Ava says Kiki doesn’t know anything, but she saw them when Paul decided to stupidly give her the briefcase of money in public.  She says she told Kiki he had bought some art. Paul says she questioned his generous tip (how much was it?). He adds he’s recently had a problem with someone. Ava asks who, and he says it doesn’t matter, they’re gone now, and I’m wondering why he even brought it up.

Carrrlos shows Sabrrrina something on the phone, saying look what he did while she was sleeping. She gets super excited, thanks him and puts on her coat.

Anna goes over shooting Carrrlos with Robert. She says she thought she was getting justice for Duke. She says she still wants it and wants Carrrlos to testify against Julian, and put them both in prison.

Morgan says he didn’t invite Darby there, she just showed up. Carly asks what they were doing. He says the aroma of coffee beans took over and they had sex on the floor. Ha-ha! He really said that; I didn’t make that one up. Sonny is like, quit being ridiculous. Morgan says he stopped anything before it happened. Carly says she’s concerned. Morgan says there’s nothing to be concerned about. She starts giving him the meds third degree and he gets pretty pissed. I don’t blame him. At this point, she’s really getting overbearing with that. Sonny says Carly just loves him and wants what’s best for him.

Morgan says he’s obviously bi-polar, but he’s dealing with it. He says he’s trying to be a man about it, but to do that, they need to treat him like an adult and can’t be jumping to the worst conclusion all the time. Both Carly and Sonny say they can do that. Morgan says he wants their support, but ultimately he has to do this on his own. He goes to clean up, and Sonny tells Carly they can’t be the thing Morgan is fighting against and he has to make mistakes on his own. Carly says Morgan is just a kid and she wants to fix it for him.

Julian comes into the bar and tells Kiki about the church wedding he and Alexis are going to have. He says it’s important for them to have family there and asks if she’ll come. She says of course. He says he’s come to realize that family is everything and he wants her, Ava and Avery to share in their joy. He asks how it’s going with her and Ava. Kiki says Ava seemed to actually listen to her, but her mom always manages to disappoint her.

Ava asks what’s up with Paul because he seems “off.” He asks how well she knows Anna. Ava asks if Anna is going to be a problem. He says no, and gets out of the elevator. I dunno about that.

Robert says once they get Carrrlos, it’s the beginning of the end for Paul. Anna says Julian is more of a priority. The commissioner comes in with some information for them, and my mouth falls open when Carrrlos and Sabrrrina walk in the door behind them. I guess he’d made an appointment for her and that’s what was on the phone.

While Anna and Robert are busy with the commissioner, Carrrlos and Sabrrrina back away and out into the hallway. The commissioner says no one has seen them. Anna reminds her to spread the picture around and thanks Robert for helping her.  They do a little Memory Lane stuff.

Ava sees Kiki and asks how it’s going. She says fine and that Julian is waiting for Ava. Ava tells her that she thought about letting Sonny and Carly have extended time with Avery, but she’s not going to do it. She says their animosity makes her not able to trust them. Kiki says the supervised visits have gone well, and Ava says these won’t be supervised. Kiki says she’s disappointed, but respects Ava’s choice.

Ava sits down with Julian. Julian tells her about his conversation with Sonny. Morgan walks in and Julian is like, uh-oh, but Ava says she feels nothing for him anymore, but she doesn’t want him hurting Kiki.

Morgan tells Kiki how his first day at work went, leaving out the Darby part. He says he’s come to a decision.

Carly tells Sonny about her discussion with Ava and how Kiki backed her up. Then she tells him how Ava made it seem like she was going to let Avery visit and then pulled the rug out from under her. That was pretty mean. Sonny says they’ll get Avery back. Carly ask how long it’s going to take. Sonny says they have an airtight case. Carly asks why they’re not hiring a private investigator and Sonny says that could backfire. Carly has an emergency at the hotel and has to leave. Sonny tells her to stay cool like John Travolta.

When she leaves, Sonny practices his standing moves.

Sabrrrina and Carrrlos return to the room and she asks him why they left because he’s said nothing since then. Carrrlos says they can’t go back; he saw someone. She says they need to find another hospital then.

Morgan says when he got Kiki’s text, even though he’d taken his meds, he felt good and like he was thinking clearly. He says she’s not only his friend, but she’s his best friend and that she’s always there for him. He says he wants them to go back to being more than friends.

Julian says Sonny thinks he’s still in the business. He says the past year with Alexis has been the best in his life and whatever Ava is doing, stop doing it, because he thinks she’s somehow tied up in Sonny’s reasoning.

Carly comes in as Sonny is taking a step.

The commissioner says a couple that was supposed to come in missed their apt and it was for prenatal care.

Carrrlos says they have to go, but Sabrrrina says they can’t. The baby is coming.

Tomorrow, Sam accuses Franco of being behind the break-ins, Sonny is still standing and Sabrrrina gets ready to push.

Random Thought

My girls are back! Little Women: LA begins their new season tonight and I’m excited. I’ll be watching the new franchise effort, Little Women: Atlanta, first, since I don’t want to miss Hell’s Kitchen, but I’ll catch the later airing of LA. Do you think Atlanta will have a little Nene?

Little Women: Atlanta

We start with Emily and Bri, best friends, aka Right and Left Cheek, respectively. Don’t ask. Emily has a daughter, Ava, who is of average height. Bri has a son, Malik, and a baby daddy she lives with (but doesn’t have a relationship with – what?) who doesn’t want to commit.

Amanda and Andrea, the tiny twins, are in Atlanta and apparently they’re a big deal. Bri and Emily were friends with them until the twins tried to take over their territory. The girls are concerned that the twins will be at the same club they are tonight.

Hey, it’s Tonya from LA! She’s helping Ms. Juicy to judge a twerking contest. Lots of twerk talk follows.

Ms. Juicy introduces Bri and Emily to Tonya. Minnie, aka Momma Bear, joins them. She’s a hairdresser, so she has all the gossip. Monie is her best client and best friend. Minnie says there’s been drama between her and Ms. Juicy, but she’s there to support her girls.

Bri and Emily tell Ms. Juicy about how the twins were rude to them. There’s discussion about the twins and Ms. Juicy says they must be some bad bitches. Here they come now. Everyone braces for drama.

The twins have moved to Atlanta from Dallas because they heard the club scene was popping. They dance in clubs for big bucks. One of the twins has a little person son that she can’t bring with her for some reason. Probably because she’s busy dancing at clubs and promoting her career.

Monie says Bri and Emily have been trash talking the twins. Ms. Juicy tries to stop everything in its tracks. Good luck with that. Ms. Juicy announces the twerking contest. I’m afraid to look. The twerking commences. The tiny twins are the winners, which pisses off Bri and Emily, who says it isn’t over. Now I’m really scared.

The twins chat outside with Monie and Minnie. They’re proud at how quickly they’ve made good in Atlanta. Emily and Bri join them. They trade some little person insults. Then they start getting into family insults. Emily says her mother is dead and Andrea says she doesn’t give a flying. Minnie says enough and the cheeks say deuces.

The twins hate being away from their family and call home. Their mom misses them too and everyone tears up. They say they didn’t want to leave, but the club opportunities weren’t happening in Texas. Andrea or the other one, whoever has the kid, says she has a lot of medical bills to cover. My sympathies are totally with her there. Andrea says she feels badly about what she said about Emily’s mom.

Bri is chilling with her baby daddy, her son and Emily. She tells baby daddy about the twins. She says she can’t argue with stupid and that Minnie stuck up for the twins. She says little people should stick together and she doesn’t think the twins should be excluded, but Minnie didn’t need to jump ship. She says the twins probably won’t last long in Atlanta.

Minnie says being both little and Black is a tough road. She’s cooking dinner when her mom gets home. Her mom pumps her for information about Minnie’s secret boyfriend, Michael “Pastor” Troy, a rap artist. She’s been dating him for months, but hasn’t said anything. Her mom barrages her with questions and says she’s going to google him. After flattering her, Minnie asks her mom for the car.

Ms. Juicy meets the cheeks for lunch. They fill her in on their altercation with the twins and Emily says Andrea made remarks about her dead mother. Ms. Juicy says the twins shouldn’t get leadership from Minnie because she lies all the time. She says supposedly Pastor Troy has been her boyfriend for eight months, but that’s not the case. She says she knows a rat when she smells one and Minnie is a bear maybe, but she’s no mama. She says she’s not throwing shade, but that’s debatable.

Minnie and Monie go to the sauna, which I guess is like a spa. The twins come in behind them. Minnie has also invited Emily and Bri. This is Minnie’s plan to get everyone together and be kumbaya. Emily is seriously not thrilled, especially when Andrea wants to talk to her.

Andrea apologizes. She says she didn’t know Emily’s mother had died. Emily asks what kind of person says they don’t give a flying. She says her mother died on her 16th birthday. Andrea apologizes again. Emily accepts and says they’re cool. In her individual interview, Emily says they’re cool right now, but eventually all little people are competition. Geez, I thought they all stuck together. It’s both difficult and contrary in little world.

They all reconvene in a room that looks lodgelike. Minnie talks about her boyfriend and Emily says Ms. Juicy said they weren’t really together. Bri says she told them Minnie is really just a fangirl who’s crushing and dreaming.  Minnie is hurt and says Juicy is jealous. Emily is like, well, we’ve never met him and Juicy seemed pretty sure. Minnie says Juicy doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Lontel is Emily’s boyfriend of three years. She tells him her pregnancy test was positive. She says he doesn’t look happy, and he says that’s because he’s not. Emily says they’ve been trying for a while, but he says he doesn’t care and none of this makes sense. He talks about them both cheating on each other. She asks what if it’s a little person. He says he wouldn’t like it, but whatever happens, happens. In her individual interview, Emily says she can’t imagine life without him and I don’t have a clue as to why. He basically tells her that he doesn’t care about her.

Emily cries in the bathroom and then tells Lontel to get out. He doesn’t want to leave and she asks if she has to “call the laws” on him again. Obviously this is a great relationship. Finally he leaves and Emily is alone and crying.

This season, Emily’s pregnancy marches on, Minnie feels empty because of her father and accuses Monie of changing, Juicy confronts Minnie and gets a drink thrown on her and there are lots of catfights.

Little Women: LA

Jasmine is having a mommy cocktail party. She says she’s glad Briana introduced her to the girls. Tonya has been putting her concentration into her businesses, as she broke up with her boyfriend last season. Christy’s daughter just had leg stretching surgery, so she and Todd have put off having another baby. She’s not getting along with Briana, but she says she’s going to grin and bear it. Terra has been busy with baby Penny’s medical issues.

Christy asks if Terra has heard from Elena. Terra wonders if she was invited. Even though she isn’t a mom, none of their kids are there and she’s a close friend. Christy says she hasn’t talked to Briana since Hawaii. The final straw was Briana saying Todd had been texting her when it was the other way around.

Christy talks about Autumn’s leg surgery and they discuss surgery a little. Jasmine says she’s never had anything except elective surgery, but with her type of dwarfism, she lacks hair and needs to wear false eyelashes and wants to help other women who have that issue.

Tonya suggests that they do something daring and go motocross riding on dirt bikes. Briana says she can’t drive one and Jasmine says they’ll put her in bubble wrap.

Elena has been working on a makeup line. Today she’s seeing the sample.  She wants to have a preview party with her friends and family. She’s doing Terra’s makeup, and Terra tells her about Jasmine wanting to do an eyelash line. Elena says she didn’t even know about Jasmine’s party. Terra tries to defend Jasmine, saying that it was just a gathering for moms. Elena thinks that Jasmine is being a single white female and thinks it’s weird that her eyelashes are coming out at the same time as Elena’s palettes.

Christy is cleaning out her closet. Christy’s mom is staying with them to help out with Autumn’s recovery. Todd had a child with his ex-wife, but the baby died and they keep the ashes in a pink basket in the closet. He said he wouldn’t scatter the ashes until he had his own child with Christy. Contrary to last season, Christy’s mom says that if Christy has or adopts a child, she’s behind her 100%.

Briana is tired of everyone attacking her because Matt doesn’t have a job, when he moved out to L.A. to be with her and left the job he had. Nonetheless, she’d like it if he had a job. Jasmine asks if she feels like she rushed into the marriage. Briana says no. Jasmine asks about the frustration level with Matt not working. She thinks Briana should discuss it with him.

Todd and Christy sneak out to a frozen yogurt place. Their house is feeling crowded. Todd wonders if they should try artificial insemination again, but Christy says it wreaked havoc on her health. She says they tried for a year with no success, and the only way she wants a child is to adopt now. Todd says he wants to raise a child with her and any one they have will be loved. They decide to give adoption a try.

Matt and Briana are out for lunch. Briana wants to talk to him about looking for work without hurting his feelings. She blurts out that she needs him to be looking for a job. She says she needs a break from him sometimes, and she needs to miss him.

Tonya says nothing bonds people better than sharing an adventure. She says she had to get gear made special for the dirt biking due to their size. Elena shows up with contacts that change her eye color. Terra thinks she’s trying to not look like Jasmine. Christy says every time she sees Briana, she thinks about what a liar she is and it’s hard to keep a lid on her feelings. Briana gets a bike with some kind of training wheels.

Elena doesn’t know what to say to Jasmine because of not being invited to the party. She says she doesn’t trust Jasmine. Christy is afraid it’s going to turn into some kind of competition. The girls get ready and motocross is on. Tonya wipes out immediately.

They practice for a while, getting the hang of it, and then do some racing. There are a couple of minor bumps, but then Terra has a bad fall down a hill. She says she’s okay, but she needs to take a break. The track guy says it’s one of the worst falls he’s seen, so she’s pretty tough.

The girls gather at the picnic area afterward. Elena thanks Tonya for inviting all of them, emphasis on the all. Jasmine says if Elena has a problem with her, she should say so. Elena says ditto, rather than not inviting her to something and covering it up by calling it a mommy event. Jasmine says she has no problem with Elena.

Somehow this triggers Christy to jump Briana’s ass about her lies regarding Todd. Briana says she tried to talk to Christy about it privately. Christy says she’s sick of looking at Briana’s ugly face, because she’s five. They go back and forth so loud and fast, I have no idea what they’re even saying.

Jasmine says she’s always invited Elena to everything. Elena says she did too, even her wedding. Jasmine says you do different things with different friends and Elena’s being ridiculous. Elena says Jasmine is trying to take her friends away. Jasmine says she’s just being insecure. Terra interjects, but that goes over like a lead balloon. Jasmine says she’s had enough and leaves.

Elena invites the others to her makeup launch. Terra suggests she be the bigger person and invite Jasmine. Elena says not this time.

No preview for next week, so just make one up.


January 26, 2016 — GH, BH, Haves & Nots


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts & recaps on today’s TV)


General Hospital

The front page of the paper talks about the altercation between Olivia and the mayor over public breastfeeding. Sonny and Epiphany are checking it out. Epiphany asks if Sonny got a new doctor and he tells her she’s enough for him.

Lucas asks Julian if the story in the paper is true. Julian says yes, but Alexis has Olivia’s back. Julian asks if Lucas and Brad have set a wedding date.

Maxie and Dillon are checking out a shoot location. Maxie says Nina wants them to look at The Haunted Star as well, and Dillon brings up Johnny. He tells Maxie she did the right thing by telling Nathan right away. She says just telling a partial truth meant she also told a bunch of little lies and she doesn’t know what to do about that. Hmm…keep your mouth shut? Nathan comes by with some hot chocolate.

A reporter is asking Olivia why she didn’t just breastfeed in a room. She says she has a five-year-old son and she wouldn’t want him to see that. Apparently a lot of people are living in the dark ages in Port Charles. Dante tells Olivia he wishes he’d been here for her, but she says he had his hands full with Johnny. She says she doesn’t know why Johnny would have forced Lulu to help him since he once loved her.

Lulu asks for time alone with Johnny. It makes no sense, but because she’s Dante’s wife and was supposedly an injured party, she gets this privilege. Johnny asks her if she wants to make a run for it.

Lucas says they’re not planning on making it official any time soon. Julian tells him that he and Alexis are going to be married in a few weeks.

Sonny tells Epiphany she knows exactly how to push him. He says he’s done everything she told him and it’s time to take it to the next level. She says she’ll be the judge of that and what is he even talking about? He tells her to watch. He struggles, but finally stands on his own. Epiphany is thrilled and gives him a hug.

Olivia asks how Lulu and Valerie are and Dante says they’re both fine. Olivia says it was lucky Lulu found Valerie and she imagines it brought him and Lulu closer together. He says not so, they’re filing for divorce.

Johnny suggests he and Lulu go to Canada and start over. He says they should have done it a long time ago. He says he looks back and realizes that he made a mistake back then. Lulu says he sacrificed his freedom for her for nothing. She says that Dante figured out that Lulu helped him of her own free will and told her he hates Johnny, but Johnny has integrity which is more than Dante could say for her.

Nathan passes out the hot chocolate. Nathan says for Lulu and Maxie’s sake, he wants to make peace with Dillon. Nathan tells him he’ll need a permit for shooting, and tells him he should go to the station now. Dillon gets the hint that Nathan wants to talk to Maxie alone. When Dillon leaves, Nathan tells Maxie he knows she lied about Johnny.

Maxie says he’s right, she lied about some details, but she was trying to do the right thing and still protect Lulu. Nathan asks if she thinks it’s true that Lulu wasn’t a willing accomplice. When she doesn’t answer, he says he thinks Lulu went along with it too, but she’s his sister and Johnny is in jail, so he’ll leave it alone.

Olivia suggests Dante and Lulu work things out and stop letting it be all about Valerie. Olivia asks why Lulu would suddenly decide she wanted a divorce, and Dante says it’s him that does.

Lulu says she made a gigantic mistake that cost Johnny his freedom and Dante to want a divorce. Johnny says it’s probably for the better, that Dante betrayed her. She says Valerie helped her to see that the trouble with them started before she came along, and that they should have worked out a solution together, and now it’s too late. Johnny asks if there’s anything he can do to help and Lulu says maybe.

Epiphany asks how it happened. Sonny says he had a dream about someone who needed his help and when he woke up he felt focused, strong and hopeful. He says that’s what his people need him to be, and he said it was time to get his legs back. Epiphany says she’s not going to ease up on him and that she’s going to make it harder. Sonny tells her to bring it on. He also asks her not to tell anyone yet. She asks if he wants to hide his recovery because of business reasons.

Lucas is thrilled about Julian’s impending nuptials. He says Alexis has been good for him and he’s glad Julian is out of the mob business. He says he’s glad Julian won’t be a shooting statistic and Julian says he hopes Lucas is right about that.

Olivia thinks Dante is leaving Lulu for Valerie, but he says that’s not the case. She asks why he’s divorcing Lulu and he explains what really happened with Johnny.

Johnny says if it’s in his power, he’ll do it. Lulu thanks him for taking the fall for her. She says if he hadn’t lied, she could be going to prison too, and the thought of being away from Rocco for years would have killed her. She says now she has to figure out what happened to get her to such a low place. She wants her son to be proud of her and she wants that for Johnny too. She says there’s always been a tug of war inside of him between good and evil. He says the bad side won. She says he has a good heart and is capable of incredible generosity and kindness. She begs him not to join a gang in prison and to do something productive to get himself out and become a good guy who no longer has to hide. Lulu says he gave her a second chance and she wants that for him too. He asks if there’s a chance for them to be together too.

Nathan forgives Maxie. He says despite her covering for Lulu, he can trust her. She says she’s not so sure about that.

Epiphany says that it makes sense regarding his business, but what about Carly and the kids? Doesn’t he want to them to know he’s making progress? He says he knows what he’s doing. Epiphany says she does too, and she has patients who aren’t giving her nonsense and leaves.

Julian tells Lucas that some people aren’t willing to let bygones be bygones. He says being a father again, makes him want to stay on the straight and narrow. He asks Lucas to be his best man. Nathan says he’d love to.

Sonny stares at the door in an ominous way, although maybe this is just his thoughtful look. It’s hard to tell.

Nathan asks why he can’t trust Maxie. She says she told Lulu to go big or go home in fighting for her marriage and look what happened. Nathan says she didn’t make Lulu conspire with Johnny. Maxie says if she was in Lulu’s shoes, she would have done the same thing.

Dante says Johnny came back to town on his own, but Lulu put the Valerie plan in motion. He says she didn’t want it to get out of hand like it did, but she wanted Valerie out of the way. Olivia says her intention wasn’t to harm Valerie, but to help her marriage. Dante says she lied and Olivia brings up his own lies. He says one doesn’t cancel the other out and he wants to stay angry about it, proving once again what a moron he is. Olivia says when he’s angry he doesn’t have to feel the pain.

Johnny says he needs something to look forward to when he gets out. Lulu says she’ll always love him, but to take the mess she made for him and make something good for himself and not to change for anyone else. He says their New Year’s Eve kiss was a new and bright start to the year. Time’s up and the officer takes Johnny back to this cell. Orange is not a bad color on him. Lulu sits by herself crying and Dillon walks in.

Julian sees Sonny and asks if they can talk. He says Alexis told him what Sonny had said and he’s not interested in the mob life anymore. He says he’s starting over and he wants to make peace with Sonny. Sonny brings up some past stuff and Julian says they’re equally responsible for the animosity between them, but he’s asking man to man if they can let the past go.

Maxie says she couldn’t make Lulu see how much she had to risk. Nathan says ditto for Dante. Maxie says she’d never want to risk their relationship. Nathan says he doesn’t either and they hug.

Olivia says she’s not happy about it, but she understands and there are no easy answers. She says he’s her son and she’ll always be supportive, but she urges him to take some time before making any big decisions or signing any divorce papers. She leaves and Valerie walks in. Valerie asks how Lulu is. Dante says between Valerie leaving Lulu out of the equation (score one for her) and Johnny not saying anything, Lulu is in the clear. He tells her that they’re splitting up for real.

Dillon apologizes again for revealing Dante and Valerie’s affair. He says he also should have said something when he saw Johnny. Lulu says her problems are of her own making and asks if he’s there for further questioning. He says he’s there for a permit and that he hopes one day she can forgive him and he can really help her. She says he already started.

Sonny asks if Julian wants to be forgiven for putting a hit out on him. Julian says forgetting is more accurate, but he had nothing to do with Sonny getting shot. He says like it or not, their lives are connected. He says he doesn’t want his children to grow up without a father. Sonny says he might have Alexis fooled but they both know once you get in there’s no getting out. I guess mob business is like a roach motel.

Nathan suggests that he and Maxie trade their cold hot chocolate for a warm bed. Woo woo!

Dillon tells Lulu not to be so hard on herself and that everyone makes mistakes. He says they learn from them and try to do better. Lulu starts to cry and they hug.

Valerie says Lulu took her problems out on her, and that she’s not the cause of their problems, but she was a contributor. She wants to move on and says she doesn’t want anything to do with Dante anymore, not in a mean way, but she just can’t. She says good-by.

Julian asks Sonny if he ever wanted to escape and just have a life with his family. Sonny says of course, but he has a past and so does Julian. He says they can’t just wake up one morning and it’s gone, that everything can’t just be wiped away. Julian asks once more for Sonny to forgive him and for them to move on. Sonny totally steals a line from Machete and says maybe God can forgive Julian, but he can’t and he’s going to take Julian down for killing Duke. I don’t particularly like Julian, but Sonny is being an a-hole and had better watch his karma.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Julian he’s going to pay and Anna is hot on the Sabrrrina/Carrrlos trail.

The Haves and The Have Nots

After Warlock and Candace trip over Quincy’s dead body, Warlock asks her how she thought she could get away with it. He says he doesn’t care about anybody, but Candace is his girl. Her mother used to look after him. He tells her not to say she’s sorry and then asks for money. She says she doesn’t have any. He insists she does and she insists she doesn’t.

Warlock tells her she has a nice place. She says he can have it, but he says no thanks, he just wants money. I don’t know why she’s not telling him why she doesn’t have it. He gets out his gun and tells her she won’t feel anything. She begs him not to shoot her. He shoots.

He shoots past her and says he told her not to move. He says he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, and she made him look like a fool. He says she has four million dollars and he wants one and a half. She says okay, but says she doesn’t have it right now. He asks why and she finally tells him it was taken from her. He thinks she’s lying and he pulls off another shot. He says she’s a traitor and a liar and broke the code along with his heart. Quite poetic for a thug.

She tells him about Oscar and how he marked her. Warlock says she’s lying. Candace says she’s not, but she needs a week. He says on the eighth day, her ass is dead. She asks if he’ll help her move Quincy’s body and he says sure. She says the neighbor is watching everything she does. He then asks which favor she wants, to live for seven days or get help with the body. She wisely chooses the former. Warlock says he loves her. She says she loves him too. He wants another favor before he leaves and we’ll just leave it at that.

Wayatt doctors his pee test and gives it to the technician in the DA’s office. Jennifer tells him he can go home and she’ll call with the results. He asks about his parents and she says they’re okay. He asks if they’re getting out soon. She says she’s trying to keep them in until he gets out of the house. She suggests he stay in a hotel. He asks about the Harringtons and Jennifer asks if Jeffrey has a drinking problem since he was arrested for a DUI. Wyatt says no. She tells him she’ll let him know when his trust fund is released and he leaves after calling her an angel in his life. He is so clueless, it’s sad.

After Wyatt leaves, Jennifer’s assistant comes in with the paper. She’s not happy about the front page.

Jennifer asks the desk clerk where the paper came from. Maggie is there and tells Jennifer that David has been sprung. She asks why the judge would release David alone. Maggie says David had nothing to do with it. Jennifer says that David can’t be released. Maggie says if she doesn’t release David immediately, she’ll call the attorney general. Jennifer asks if she’d like to use her phone. Maggie asks how long it will be and Jennifer says as long as it takes.

The guard asks for Kathryn, saying the DA wants to see her. Veronica tells her not to say anything. She says Jennifer will try to entrap her. Kathryn says she’s not stupid. Veronica gripes about her phone call and the guard says they’re working on it.

Mitch and Benny are wrapping up the day at the tow yard. Benny says they cleared $1800. Mitch says if they keep doing well, they’ll need more employees. Benny says he wants Warlock to come in. Mitch says Warlock will bury them. Benny says he doesn’t understand, that Warlock had their backs when he and Candace were younger. His mother took care of Warlock as a child, and Warlock took care of them later financially. Mitch says Warlock doesn’t do anything for nothing.

Mitch says he doesn’t trust Warlock. He asks Benny why Warlock was looking for Candace and that he needs to keep an eye on things. Benny says funny, Warlock said the same thing about Mitch, but he trusts them both. Mitch says he’s going to be watching Warlock.

Kathryn tells the DA she’s represented by counsel and has nothing to say to her. Jennifer says she just wanted to talk to Kathryn and there’s a difference between a conversation and questioning. She says it’s off the books and Kathryn says she doubts it. Jennifer says she knew Kathryn’s father and that if it hadn’t been for his scholarship, she wouldn’t be the DA. Kathryn says he was a good man and helped a lot of people. Jennifer says that she was lucky, but about 45 of her colleagues had to sleep with him for their school money. She says up until now, a class-action suit against his estate was just talked about at parties. Kathryn says she’s trying to blackmail her. Jennifer says she’s trying to tell her to distance herself from Jim. They both talk about how being blindsided has its privileges and I don’t understand it. Kathryn says that a legacy has tentacles. She says a lot of people knew what was going on and that the town of Savannah is worth more than gold. She tells Jennifer that to take on the task she would have to divide air and she’ll wipe out everyone who needs that air to breathe. She says she wants her phone call and wants it now. Jennifer says they’re working on it and sends her back to her cell. Kathryn says maybe Veronica was right and Jennifer is a dumb bitch.

The officer gets Kathryn and Jennifer throws stuff around the room. Foiled! Ha-ha!

The guard tells Veronica to come now. They’re changing cells. Veronica insists on her phone call.  The guard says not right now and handcuffs Veronica. She says she’s taking them one at a time.

The guard deposits Veronica in her new cell. Jim and David are in the next cell and Veronica says it’s a set up. The guard acts ignorant. Veronica tells them not to say anything. Jim gets snarky. They make snide comments back and forth, ending with Jim making a comment about her hair.

Veronica asks David how he is. He says they all need to be quiet and quit giving the DA ammunition. Jim says, oh look, Veronica can take orders after all, and he and Veronica go back and forth again. Jim brings up the picture in the paper of Veronica and Benny. Veronica says she’s still angry at Jim putting his hands on her. Jim says, oh sorry, and David tells them to knock it off. Veronica gets pissed that he’s not defending her. Oh, here comes Jeffrey!

Veronica and David are pretty surprised to see him. David asks what they’re doing there and they ask him what he’s doing there. David asks what the charge was and he tells them a DUI and asks again why they’re there. Veronica asks Jeffrey what’s up with the DUI and Jeffrey says he’s guilty. Veronica says when they get out he’ll regret talking to her the way he is and he says she’ll regret everything she’s ever done to him. He says something about her and Benny and Jim is like, wow. Jeffrey asks if he should tell David or should she. Veronica says she’s having an affair and the picture was in the paper. She tells Jeffrey to go ahead and hurt David. He says she’s the one who hurt David. She says all he wants to do is Wyatt or any other guy. He says he wishes one was right here and he’d do it in her face. I literally lol.

David asks him who it is with Veronica in the picture. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know. Veronica says is he sure? Why isn’t David says maybe he’ll sleep with Maggie after all. Veronica says they’ll be even. He says they’ll be over. Jim asks David if he’s sure he wants him to call it off. Jim asks Jeffrey if he’s still gay. Jim says everyone knows it except his mother and she can’t control him out of it. Veronica says she’s seen what happens what happens when you try to control children – they get raped in prison or kill themselves. I go oooh! out loud. Jim says he knows she had Wyatt raped and David says just like how she got Quincy out of jail. Jim is like, what? David tells Veronica she’s sick. She says Jeffrey is still in love with Wyatt. Jeffrey says he’s going to do all he can to keep her in there and she’s an evil soul who doesn’t deserve to see the light of day – ever.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That was a very intense scene in a small space with no props. I’m exhausted. My mouth was hanging open through the whole thing. Well played, Tyler Perry.

Benny goes to Candace’s house. The neighbor waves from across the street. Candace comes out and says she doesn’t feel good. Benny insists on talking to her and she says let’s talk outside she needs the air. Benny says their mother is mad at him and she’s staying in a hotel and won’t come to his house unless Candace can tell him how she got the money for it. Candace says she’s tired and doesn’t want to do this right now. Benny says she used to tell him the truth. She says he has to go and he pushes his way inside.

He sees Quincy’s body.

Next time, Benny suggests they go to the police and David and Jim have a fistfight in the cell.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Ken and LisaV are looking for a restaurant space and go to a sex shop where Ken has taken a lease. Lisa says that even though she’s a supporter of many lifestyles, some of the stuff is weird even to her. She plays with some pink duck and can’t turn it off. Ken tells her they’re looking at the space, not the merchandise. They bicker about who is going to design it and Lisa says Pump was a huge endeavor that she doesn’t want to do again right now.

Lisa says she thought Ken wanted to wind down, but he says winding down is dying. He suggests Max as manager. Lisa wants to start enjoying life more in 10 years time and isn’t overjoyed with this venture.

Kathryn says she’s from Milwaukee and a Midwesterner through and through. She and her husband talk about a previous vacation and he calls Westminster “Westminister.” They go to a jewelry store. Her husband, Donnie, played in the NFL and invested wisely, so they can afford a lot of cool stuff. The jewelry is in the millions, and he tells her to get what she wants, but remember they’re also renovating a kitchen. She decides the kitchen is more important, but says eventually she’ll get the jewelry.

Kyle calls LisaV. She wants to have a barbeque. Faye is going to be there, but Kyle also likes Kathryn and hopes there isn’t a conflict.

Eileen and family are going to Italy where she’s going to sprinkle her sister’s ashes. Vince plays a joke on her, putting one of the kids in a suitcase. Her sister was a single mom and she helped raise her niece who is like a daughter to her. She will also be coming on the trip.

LisaR is meeting Kathryn for lunch. They’ve known each other for a while. They talk plastic surgery, Kathryn’s old modeling days and how they palled around. They agree to have lunch again.

Kyle meets Faye at a furniture store. Faye is redecorating Kyle’s closet. Kyle says Faye is like a family member. Kyle tells Faye that she invited Kathryn to the barbeque. Faye says she doesn’t want to discuss any O.J. business with anyone. She says she’s never going to get into a conversation about Nicole and the past. I’m shocked when Kyle mentions that it was over 20 years ago. My heart.

Eileen and the gang are in Italy. She and Vince are going over plans for the trip. Eileen says her sister’s ashes are a priority. Her sister hadn’t let anyone know she was terminally ill and it’s still very difficult for Eileen. She feels guilty that they didn’t do anything for her even though it was her decision not to tell them. She says it’s a way of honoring her sister and getting rid of the guilt. She goes to some gorgeous place on the water, says good bye and scatters the ashes. She says that her sister helped raise her since she was 12 years older. I can identify since my sister is 10 years older.

Kyle is getting ready for the barbeque which looks pretty fancy for a barbeque. She’s having it catered because she’s tired of being in the kitchen all the time instead of with her guests. I can identify here too.

Kathryn visits LisaV. She says the house is fabulous, but there’s a lot of swan poopy around. They have tea, and Lisa grills Kathryn on her home life. I love Lisa, but she sure is nosy.

Yolanda arrives at the barbeque and also thinks it’s fancy for a barbeque. Erika says she shows up in barbeque-wear and Kyle is in an evening gown. Kyle also isn’t barbequing any food, so I agree when she says she should stop using that word. Everyone says the same thing when they come in, so I won’t belabor the point.

LisaR is a little uncomfortable with Yolanda because of her questioning Yolanda’s illness. Yolanda isn’t into being negative and ignores any friction between them. Yolanda schools the ladies about toxins in everything. LisaV and Kathryn are the last to arrive. Kathryn says she knew it was inevitable that she run into Faye at some point because she’s close with Kyle. She’s not too happy because Faye portrayed her as a doormat in her book when she’d never met her. She doesn’t strike me as the doormat type. She says she doesn’t want to start a fight, but she’s not going to roll over and play dead either.

Kyle is in the unenviable position of introducing Kathryn and Faye. LisaV says Faye was a bitch to her at her 30th anniversary and she hasn’t spoken to her since. She wishes she’d gotten a heads up. Kathryn and Yolanda talk about their old modeling days. LisaV and LisaR confer inside at the bar. And here comes Faye.

LisaR brings up the altercation between Faye and LisaV. For what reason, I don’t know. Just because she has no filter I guess. Faye says she has no hard feelings and wants to move on. In her individual interview LisaV says she loves women who have a pop at you and then want to move on. I hear her. LisaV says fine. Yolanda has to jet early and LisaR is glad they didn’t have to talk about anything heavy.

They sit down to lunch and Kyle’s Golden Retriever jumps all over LisaV with his ball in his mouth. Of course Lisa doesn’t mind and everyone is like, awww. Kathryn is seated across from Faye which is not so awww.

They talk about Yolanda and how much better she seems. LisaR starts talking about the confusion with her posting the sick and happy Instagram pics and they get into that conversation again. Erika says Yolanda would be pissed to hear it. LisaR says she intends to discuss it with Yolanda, which we’ve heard a few times now. Stop it, Lisa! Kyle asks about Yolanda’s kids who have Lyme disease. LisaV says that Mohammad clams he doesn’t think they have it, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of all of it. Kyle keeps pumping (no pun intended) LisaV for information. Erika looks more and more annoyed, and finally they move on.

They talk about LisaR posing for Playboy and we flash back to the dinner party from hell and Camille calling Faye “the morally corrupt Faye Resnick.” Kathryn talks about Faye writing the book and posing for Playboy and having her fifteen minutes. Kathryn says she was in the book and don’t talk about her if you don’t know her. She says she never read it though. Erika says if she was going to confront someone about writing about her, she’d read what they wrote.

Kathryn says she’s been thinking about confronting Faye for 20 years. Suddenly, Erika tells Faye she wants to address the elephant in the room. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Kathryn says she never met Faye before, but she’d be a phony if she didn’t say anything. She associates herself being brought into the O.J. stuff with Faye and says that Faye is the only one who dragged her into it. Faye says she has nothing to say about something that happened over 20 years ago. She says there isn’t much to discuss. Kathryn says she wants to address it. Faye says it was nothing pejorative and asks if Kathryn feels better. Faye says it was an uncomfortable time in all of their lives and it should be discussed in private, if at all. She says that if she offended anyone she’s sorry. Kyle pipes up about what a good girlfriend Faye is. Kathryn says obviously Faye wants to move on and she didn’t get the satisfaction she wanted.

Next time, some weird party where the women are wearing top hats and LisaR finally talks to Yolanda. Faye also seems to be bucking to be a permanent addition.

Recommendation: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce

This is a clever and genuine look at divorced life. A kind of Sex and the City for a slightly older crowd. The characters are diverse and believable, and while the plots are somewhat exaggerated (as with any drama), they’re both touching and fun.

I’m glad Bravo has branched out into some scripted shows. I also love Odd Mom Out. That surprised me since I thought I wouldn’t relate, but there’s someone for everyone to identify with and the show is very New York-ish.

Bravo, Bravo!

January 25, 2016 — GH & Waikiki Pump


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Jordan sees Curtis you-know-where. That’s right, he’s eating at the MetroCourt.

Tracy is one the phone with Ned. I don’t know where she is, but it looks pretty good to me. She says she’s luxuriating and I believe it. She smells some weed (!) and gets off the phone. She doesn’t call it weed, but that’s what it is. The dude smoking is Larry Ashton in the next room.

Hayden says getting married is a huge step and she’s not sure she’s ready. Nicholas says she asked first, albeit to protect the company, and he’s not sure what’s changed.

Alexis is going over the lawsuit against the mayor. Julian asks why she’s going through with it, since Olivia is off the hook, and Alexis says she doesn’t want anyone else going through the same thing. She if he’ll address public breastfeeding in the magazine. He says sure, and somehow jumps from that to the conclusion that they should get married asap.

TJ is dropping Molly off at her mom’s and Christina interrupts their good-by kiss.

We see the last scene from Friday where Jason remembers Sam with him on a rooftop in the rain. She tells him it’s a real memory.

Commercial break. It’s that British woman asking if we’ll “go commando.” Please. I don’t want to think about those people sans underwear, k? Thanx.

Jordan asks Curtis if he’s following her and he asks how that’s possible since he was there first. She says she can’t enjoy her meal if they’re in the same room. She says she’d be happy to remove him from Port Charles altogether, but doesn’t have enough evidence…yet. He says what if he was following her?

Sam tells Jason that the colored lights he remembers were Chinese lanterns that she had set up for a romantic evening. She thought it was ruined by the rain, but that wasn’t the case.

Larry suggests he and Tracy catch up. He asks if she’s there on a second honeymoon with Luke. She says hardly; she’s there to get away from the trials and tribulations of Port Charles. She says he was part of them because he was in cahoots with Jerry Jax to take over ELQ.

Christina says that Molly might seem romantic on the porch, but Tj is never going to get any. TJ says it’s none of her business anyway and leaves. Christina tells Molly it was payback for telling their parents her business.

Alexis would like a church wedding. Julian asks who would marry them if he’s the groom? Alexis says she’ll figure it out.

Hayden says that Nicholas didn’t want to get married before, so she’s hesitant. He says he knows it would protect his shares, but he wants to for other reasons. He loves her and so does Spencer. He says they have something real between them even though they don’t know each other that well. He says he’s fascinated by the way she thinks and can’t wait to see what she does next, so he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He says he’s offering more than a business proposal; he’s offering a marriage of equals. He talks about the island and I’m ready to marry him. She says she can’t, but then says she will. Laura walks in while they’re hugging.

Jordan asks Curtis what he’s after. She says he told her his job is finished, so why is he still there? TJ comes by, does a double-take and says, “Hi, Uncle Curtis.”

Larry says he’s seen the error of his ways and he’s a changed man. Tracy says he’s probably trying to swindle rich widows. He says he’s there to clear his head and try to figure out why he keeps doing the same wrong things over and over. He says he’s found a new life there. He says a return to nature heals both mind and body.

Laura asks if congratulations are in order and Nicholas tells her they’re getting married. Hayden goes to get some champagne to celebrate. Laura asks Nicholas what he thinks he’s doing.

Alexis says she wants all the wedding bells and whistles because this is going to be the last time. Julian says they’ll grow old and grey together. She says old maybe, but not grey. Ha-ha! Yeah, I don’t even know what my natural color is anymore. She says a bunch of romantic stuff, and that she wants everyone to see he’s a changed man. He says if it means that much to her, he’s in.

Sam takes Jason to the rooftop of the penthouse. He asks why they were having dinner up there. She says he was struggling with a difficult situation and she wanted to do something nice for him. She says it was pretty much a disaster, but he says it wasn’t. He says without the rain, he wouldn’t have had the memory and wouldn’t be with her up there now.

TJ asks if Jordan wanted to have their dinner there so they could all have dinner together. Jordan starts to talk but Curtis interrupts.

Apparently, Larry has shared his stash with Tracy and they’re having a rollicking good time. This is pretty funny. He asks what’s wrong with just having a fun time with someone, that it doesn’t have to be that deep, and she says maybe that’s what she’s been doing wrong.

Laura asks why Nicholas wants to marry a woman who’s been dishonest with him. She asks how he’s going to forget what he did to Hayden.

Christina and Molly argue and Alexis comes out to see what’s going on. She says they need to come in and help plan the wedding.

Jason says maybe he’ll remember more if Sam hangs out with him. She says he needs to find someone else to help because she can’t be the one who goes through this with him. What? She says she can’t be objective because it’s her life too.  She says it brings up a lot of emotions for her and it might lead to expectations on her part. He says maybe she’s right.

TJ talks about school. Curtis asks if he has a girlfriend and TJ says yes. He says she’s a year behind him at PCU, and they started dating in high school. Curtis tells TJ he’s sorry he wasn’t there when TJ’s father died.

Alexis tells the girls she wants them to be part of the ceremony and be maids of honor along with Sam. Julian seconds that and the girls agree. Alexis asks Christina if she’ll be able to get out of classes.

Hayden calls Tracy and tells her about Nicholas proposing. Tracy finds this probably more amusing than she normally would and tells Hayden good work. She says Hayden doesn’t have to stay married to him long, that she’ll get ELQ and Hayden will get her freedom. She rejoins Larry and tells him she got good news.

Laura asks Nicholas id he’s sure it’s not his guilt talking. He says no, that’s not the reason he proposed and that he loves Hayden. Laura says an engagement doesn’t have to be short and he needs to think about what he’s doing. Hayden comes back and asks what they were talking about.

Larry asks where he and Tracy were before they were interrupted. Tracy comes back to reality, saying she took this trip to get away from con artists and that she’s regained her equilibrium and wants to get as far away from him as possible. Oh well.

Laura says she has to go, but the two of them should enjoy a celebration. She tells Nicholas to think about what they discussed and leaves. Hayden tells Nicholas they should set a date for the wedding.

Molly makes a smart remark about Christina being able to come and go as she pleases. She says she, on the other hand, has to go back to the dorm and study. Christina makes a snide comment about how she won’t be having sex at the dorm.

Sam says there’s a difference between making peace with who you are and chasing a life you don’t remember. She says his old life is her old life too, and this has to be about him. He says he’s been avoiding his past and it’s time for him to face it. Sam tells him to trust himself.

TJ says he understands why Curtis couldn’t be there when his father died, because he was helping people. TJ excuses himself and Curtis tells Jordan she raised a fine young man. She says she can’t control what Curtis does, but if he hurts TJ, he’ll have to answer to her.

Larry tells Tracy to relax and breathe the tropic air. She tells him to get lost, that she’s got her priorities straight and the only thing that’s going to help her is to get back what’s hers.

Hayden suggests she and Nicholas get married right away.

Jordan tells Curtis to let TJ believe his lies and tells him to promise he won’t break TJ’s heart by telling him the truth.

Christina takes a call outside, and Julian asks Alexis to explain sister drama to him. She says this was minor so she considers it a win. Julian says they should go upstairs and give their bed a blessing. Is that what we’re calling it now?

Christina is on the phone, obviously with a man, and says if he doesn’t say anything to her parents, she won’t say anything to his wife. The professor perhaps? Or maybe it’s Gilligan.

Jason says he’s recovering not just the memory but the feeling and emotion. He says he doesn’t want to stop until he’s finished now. Sam suggests hypnosis.

Tomorrow, Dante talks divorce and Lulu asks if Johnny wants her to help him break out of prison.

Vanderpump Rules

Jax tells Britney that if he wanted to have sex with Lala, he would have. Britney tells him to always be honest with her and he says he will…as he fiddles with his phone.

Drinking time! A couple of the guys are drinking from a beer bong. No good can come of this.

Lala has taken to her bed because she’s an a-hole who thought Jax would out himself. James, Max and Faith go to her room. She says she’s hit her breaking point. Um…she put herself there.  Everyone warned her about this jerk too, so what is the deal? James starts taking off his pants and gets into bed with her.  She tells him to beat it and everyone except Faith leaves.

Scheana asks to talk to Adriana. She apologizes for any inappropriate conversation, since she’s decided to make nice and apologize whether she means it or not. Sensing this, Ariana says it’s a backhanded apology. Scheana says that she believes Tom’s attitude has rubbed off on Ariana. Ariana tries to explain that their feelings were hurt. Scheana says that’s why she’s apologizing. Giving up at making her point, Ariana says okay and leaves. I honestly don’t get what Scheana’s problem is. Tom and Ariana seem like the most normal ones of the bunch.

Shay is getting shayfaced and Scheana isn’t too happy. She wants to talk to him about Ariana, so she’s not pissed that he’s drunk, just pissed that she can’t gossip.

Schwartz is disturbed that he and Katie haven’t had “fiancé sex” yet. Tom says that Scheana has put herself in the same realm as Kristen, trying to interfere with him and Ariana’s relationship. First thing in the morning, Scheana bugs Shay about the drinking. She says the first day was supposed to be about moderation. Didn’t happen. She moves quickly on to the latest on Ariana because it’s all about her.

Lisa calls Max who just woke up. It’s 10 am and Lisa is shocked he’s sleeping all day on vacation. She asks if he’s behaving and if he’s taking his medication. She tells him he can’t drink with it and don’t kiss anybody because he can’t get an infection either. Good morning, mum!

Everyone gathers for a surfing lesson. Jax wears his sunglasses. Don’t do it, bro! I lost a decent pair in a wave once. Lala is barely wearing a bathing suit and the other girls aren’t thrilled. Scheana asks her why she was upset the evening before. She says the way everyone was talking to her was not okay. Scheana says she was once that girl, the new girl at SUR, the one who everyone thought was a slut, and she brings up her dalliance with Eddie Cibrian. She says she’s now redeemed herself. Lala acts all hurt because she says she’s been “genuine” with everyone. She’s the kind of woman who disrespects other women and calls it honesty. She’ll work her way up to The Real Housewives of the OC in no time.

Back in Kristen’s Hollywood apartment, Stassi visits. We flash back to when Kristen slept with Jax (then with Stassi) and it wasn’t pretty. Looks like they’ve made up. They talk about Kristen’s break up with James and Stassi suggests she play the field. Stassi says she and her boyfriend went from zero to old married couple. She’s on a mission to rectify things with the friends she blew off.

Some dude was showing a sex tape she made to everybody, and she’s annoyed that Scheana helped pass it along and thought it was funny. She says if Scheana can take ownership of her inappropriateness (good luck with that), maybe they can be friends.

Ken and Lisa are hanging out at the infinity pool, which has one of those cool pink flamingo floats in it. She’s worried about Max. She wants to call him again, but Ken tells her – Giggy! – it might not be a good idea. She gets on the float and says it’s bliss. It looks like bliss and I wonder if they’d like to adopt and older child.

Schwartz is afraid of sharks eating him, but goes snorkeling with anyway. Jax gets a text from Kristen who says Stassi has come out of the woodwork. Katie says she wants to stay as far away from Stassi as possible.

Jax is trying to iron some outlandishly red pants. Jax tells Britney he saw her hanging out with Lala. She says they’ll never be best friends, but she’ll deal with Lala being around.

Drinking time! The group goes to whatever bar is convenient. The waiter suggests a spiked watermelon bowl that makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. It even looks disgusting. The talk turns to sex. Tom asks how James is doing in that area. In her individual interview, Lala says they attempted it once, but he was too drunk and on top of it, blamed her. No surprise since he’s a total d-bag. Whoa. Lala is wearing hoop earrings bigger than any I’ve ever owned, even all of them put together. James and Lala exchange some words about the unpleasant event and make it even more unpleasant. Not to put my shawl on, but I don’t remember everything being so unhappy when I was their age. And I never got a free trip to Waikiki.

The gang has decided to “get crazy” tonight. How this is different from any other night, I’m not sure. Tom takes Scheana aside. She tells him that he and Ariana have a better than everybody attitude. Tom says Scheana backstabbed them. Scheana says she’s apologizing. Tom says it’s a false apology and she sort of agrees. He asks her where she got her opinion that he’s manipulative at. He says funny too, that Shay says she’s manipulative. She says Shay is the king of not expressing himself and Tom says she intimidates Shay. In her individual interview, she says Tom should mind his own business and in his, Tom says he realizes that it’s getting nowhere so he’ll just try to be surface friends. Tom accepts her apology and they go back to the drinking.

Jax makes a toast to him and Tom’s birthday.  (I meant that to be singular; it’s their birthday on the same day.)

Drinking in Hollywood! Stassi and Kristen meet at a bar. Did I mention they were drinking when Stassi visited? She brought two bottles of wine. Kristen tells her about Tom’s fight with Scheana. Kristen claims she’s over not being invited to Hawaii, but I don’t believe her for a second.

Kristen is calling new guy Kevin an Uber and Stassi chastises her for paying for boys. We’re on the same page there. It’s probably the only page we’ll ever be on together. Stassi says she was going to wait until after they were “a little drunky,” (are we five?) but she thinks Kevin has a serious live-in girlfriend. She stalked him on social media.

Kevin shows up, so too late to elaborate about that. Either that was a fast Uber or he was across the street. More drinks! Stassi brings up the girlfriend right away. Good for her. He says she’s an ex and he doesn’t live with her. He says it’s been on and off. He says he’d rather be on with Kristen, then contradicts himself by saying they shouldn’t rush things. Kristen says as long as they’re not on right now it’s cool. In her individual interview, Stassi says today’s appetizer is her tongue because she’s biting it.

Drinking in Hawaii! The gang is at a club to let loose, which is pretty much all they’re been doing on this trip. Britney makes it clear to Lala that she’s here to stay, it’s over for her with Jax and they should just be chill. In her interview, Lala says one day Britney will wake up. Meanwhile, Jax is telling everyone how in love he is with Britney. We’ll see. They party on.

Everyone wakes up with hangovers. My advice: have another drink. It’s nearly time to leave and Schwartz is still bummed about not having sex. Britney’s phone rings. Jax got arrested. It’s a felony and they’re supposed to keep him 48 hours. He stole a pair of sunglasses. Scheana wonders how much of an idiot he has to be. I wonder why she’s wondering since it’s Jax. Britney wonders what she’s going to do.

Scheana is like, this is a real trial by Jax fire for Britney. They call Jax’s mom to let her know what’s going on. They need eleven grand to bail him out and it starts to sound like a Brady Bunch adventure. Somehow Schwartz gets the bail money, they get him out and they’re on their way to the airport. Jax meets them there.

He tells Britney he got really drunk, walked into the store, said “I’m taking these,” and walked out with the sunglasses. He’s pretty embarrassed and cries in his individual interview, saying this isn’t who he is. I’m not going to make a joke, since it’s not even remotely funny.

Next week, Jax has repercussions and Stassi hits rock bottom. Maybe.

January 24, 2016 — On the Potomac & Atlanta


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


The Real Housewives of Potomac

Karen is going blah-blah-blah to Gizelle about how Gizelle is etiquette challenged. Since Karen hasn’t shown a shred of practicing what she preaches, this is pretty amusing. Karen totters off on her heels. Charrisse is also bummed because Gizelle dared bring a friend she wasn’t acquainted with into her domain.

Gizelle takes Charrisse aside and asks what the blip is up. Charrisse claims to be mad because said friend wanted to help her with her hair, when she’d said she needed help with her hair. Gizelle says they were just joking around, but Charrisse can’t seem to get the stick out of her butt and says she doesn’t joke like that. Gizelle decides to leave. Karen gets re-offended by the hairdressing guy talking to her like she’s a commoner. What is wrong with these women? I’d never heard of Potomac before and as soon as this season is done, I’m going to try and forget it exists again.

Katie’s rabbi is stopping by because she’s going to have a Hebrew naming ceremony for her daughters. He asks her some questions about her Judaism, but I have the feeling she’s similar to what we’d call and A&P Catholic – ashes on Wednesday, palms on Sunday and not much else.

Karen tells her husband she doesn’t think they have any Lipton tea, but he says he’ll check the other kitchen. Her husband Ray’s Aunt Dot is coming over and she’ll have nothing else. Apparently, Karen learned etiquette at Aunt Dot’s knee. Does this mean we have her to blame for this idiocy? The Lipton is found, but unfortunately the tea is not piping hot and Aunt Dot sends it back to be reheated. I don’t think I could take even five minutes with any of these people. Maybe Gizelle.

Gizelle is at some kind of event called “Sip with Socialites.” Maybe I wouldn’t want to be around her either. She is rocking a fabulously casual black and white outfit, complete with hat, so I give her props for that. Katie and Robyn arrive. One of the hosts (Ashley, a wife we haven’t met yet) talks to them about volunteering in schools. Gizelle grills Ashley about her married life and asks if her husband needs Viagra since he’s in his 50s. For the love of God, what planet did these women drop in from? They start to dance and Ashley wants to “booty pop,” prompting Gizelle to comment that she must not have been born in Potomac. At this point, I want to stay as far away from Potomac as possible.

Charrisse takes daughter Skylar to gymnastics practice. She’s glad she doesn’t have to focus on Gizelle and the crab boil. No wonder her husband lives somewhere else. She says she needs friends around her who are supportive. Translation: Friends who think and act exactly like her sorry self.

Gizelle decides to send an invite to Charrisse and Karen for a luncheon to talk over the crab boil incident (Guns N Roses next CD). She says she comes from an affluent African American family and knows all about etiquette. She’s having the letters delivered by chariot, so that should put the kibosh on any question about how well she was brought up.

Ashley was in the running for Miss America and ended up marrying a prominent real estate developer instead. She and husband Michael, who’s Australian, are opening a restaurant geared to Australian cuisine. She did not grow up privileged and this is a new world for her. Both she and her husband seem pretty normal, so maybe I’ve found a cast member I can somewhat relate to in this group. She tells Michael about the idiots women she met at the event and says they did well with whatever charity got the proceeds.

Katie is getting ready for the naming ceremony. Robyn says she grew up with Jewish people and none of them looked like Katie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (Man, these girls are ignorant.) Gizelle says she thought Jewish people “ran” like Black people and she had a 45 minute leeway in getting there on time, which is actually pretty funny.

The rabbi is apparently a folk rabbi and brought his guitar. Katie says Andrew tries to make it clear they’re not engaged, but she likes to muddy those waters to avoid competition. What? The ceremony flies by (we really didn’t get to see it at all) and we’re on to refreshments. Robyn asks Katie about being Black and Jewish. Katie says she also grew up bi-racial, so it was a similar deal.  Gizelle makes stupid comments about being the only Black person in a synagogue and being looked at like, “you don’t belong here; this isn’t a fish fry.” Both Gizelle and Robyn talk about being mistaken for white because they’re light skinned, but say when they open their mouths, it removes all doubt. I’m not sure if this is a dig at their own race, since when they open their mouths, that’s not my first thought.

Gizelle arrives at lunch with flowers for the girls. Why didn’t we get to see the chariot? Karen and Charrisse read their letters to each other in the limo. They sound like those Valentines that kids exchange, and of course they have to get snarky about it.

The ladies (using the term more and more loosely) sit down with sour faces. Gizelle brings up the “gift” Karen gave her. Karen says it was a joke and we all know that’s not true. Gizelle doesn’t get why Charrisse is even mad. Charrisse says Gizelle’s friend was rude and inappropriate, and invaded her space. Gizelle points out that Charrisse had asked him to do her hair. True to Housewives form, Charrisse thinks we have short term memory loss and says she never said that, even though we see the clip of her saying it again. Gizelle says not only is the dude a sought after stylist, but he’s a friend of hers.  Karen says the friend practically assaulted her, which borders on insane, and that she’ll be paying for her own lunch rather than be indebted to Gizelle in any way. In her individual interview, Karen says Gizelle hasn’t learned a thing and has no respect for either her or Charrisse. I know I don’t. Charrisse tells Gizelle that the sight of her face repulses her and leaves. The Real Housewives of the OC are more mature than these two.

Gizelle says this is a waste of time and Karen might as well go too. Karen says that Gizelle won’t acknowledge her mistakes. Gizelle says she apologized. They get into a discussion about how Gizelle’s daughters helped her write the letter, and Karen makes nasty comments. Gizelle says she even brought flowers for the ladies and Karen suggests she give them to her daughters since she “pimped them out” to write the letter. I don’t even know what she means by that and how is such a lady of the manor using such a lowbrow phrase? In her individual interview, Karen might as well say that Gizelle will never eat lunch in this town again. Karen strikes me as the type of person who has to talk about how wonderful and influential they are because they’re not. More trash comes out of her mouth and she makes her exit. And what is she wearing??? Not a good look from the back.

Next week, Karen says she’s rarely wrong (what a surprise) and Gizelle calls Ashley a thug. And I never want to hear the word “etiquette” again.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Kandi is getting close to baby time and she doesn’t feel prepared. She’s excited, but they don’t even have a name picked out. Todd wants to set up a schedule for baby duty. There’s some discrepancy as to when Todd’s shift should be. Todd wasn’t there for his daughter’s baby years, so his diapering skills need to be honed.

Kim’s stylist, Victoria, comes by. They make chit-chat about the kids for a while. Kim tells Victoria she wants to do a brunch with the ladies. She wants to have a “beatless” brunch, celebrating their natural beauty. She wants help with the space and Victoria says she’ll be back later with a list.

Phaedra and the boys are making a birthday card for Apollo. They’re looking at pictures and come across a Christmas picture where Dillon apparently freaked out during the shooting. At this point, it’s been a year since Apollo went to the pokey.

Kim sends a robocall to everyone as an invite to her brunch.

Kandi says she doesn’t even remember how to give a baby a bath. Carmen suggests she use a nanny. Todd says he’s been googling stuff and knows how to change a Pamper. They’re waiting for a lady from some kind of baby instruction place. When she gets there, the first thing she asks is to see the nursery, which isn’t finished yet.

Kandi says she’s going to try to breastfeed for a few months. The woman says babies nurse until 3 or 4 years and hers is 19 months and asks for it. Both Kandi and Todd are a little taken aback. They do diaper practice. Kandi says that Todd isn’t really having a true experience with a baby that doesn’t move around and pee on you. Yep.  They move on to swaddling.

Cynthia is doing business stuff for the eyewear line. They look over photos from the last event. Cynthia wants to do a commercial and spoke with Kim and Kenya about being involved. Cynthia says their collaboration is perfect, but they just don’t know it yet. She wants to use a beach setting.

Phaedra sees her lawyer. She’s ready to move ahead with the divorce. Apollo’s lawyer has been invited as well. While they’re waiting, they discuss the children, as they need to draft a parenting plan. Phaedra says it’s harder on Aidan because he’s older.

They discuss taking the kids to prison for a visit. Phaedra says that when their doctors think it’s okay for them, she’ll agree, but right now they’re too young. Apollo’s lawyer arrives. Phaedra’s lawyer says they’re ready for the divorce, but they’d like it uncontested and would like to get everything settled as smoothly and quickly as possible.

Porsha, who I totally forgot about, is visiting her makeup artist for a touch up. Porsha is having problems with her phone as she doesn’t know how to work it and can’t be bothered learning. The numbers are good for The Dish, but the production manager says with great numbers comes great responsibility. I literally lol.

Kim is nervous before the brunch, since everyone has such high standards. Cough, cough. Kandi picks up Kenya, who’s wearing makeup. Kandi is wearing concealer because she says her husband and kids are the only ones who see her under eye circles. Phaedra is asked if she’d like to check her lashes at the door, but she declines. And of course Porsha has her usual circus clown look.

Kenya is finding this beatless brunch insulting, something about this being a passive aggressive way to say they wear too much makeup, but I don’t see it that way at all. It ain’t that deep, Kenya.

Sheree and Cynthia are good sports and come au natural. They talk about the trip to Washington DC and joke that Phaedra is going to be Kanye’s running mate. Kenya tells everyone about her non-communication with her mother and how her father and she got closer. The breakfast food looks amazing.

Cynthia talks about the commercial, which is kind of an odd topic for the entire table. She says she’d like to have a creative meeting with Kim and Kenya, and would like to do it in Jamaica. Girls’ trip! Kandi is too close to term to go though.

Kim gives mirror compacts to everyone to remind them of their natural beauty. She also gives them a little notebook and pen and wants them to write a poem about natural beauty. There’s discussion about makeup versus the natural look. Kenya says what about things like wigs and boob jobs? Kenya asks Kim if she really thinks they wear too much makeup. Kim says not at all, but Kenya thought the tone of the invite sounded like she did. Kenya states some kind of reasoning, but it sounds ridiculous. Kim can’t figure out why this should seem like she’s throwing shade. I’m surprised at Kenya. I’ve liked her this season and this is out of left field.

The brunch breaks up. Kenya suggests that she and Kim pitch their ideas for the commercial and Cynthia can decide what their roles will be.

They have a meeting in a cute coffee shop. Kim gets there first. Cynthia calls Kenya, who says she can meet later, but right now, there’s something she has to attend to at the house. Cynthia is a little miffed. Kenya is at the house with some dude named Matt who she’s been dating for a couple of months. They flirt while working on the house.

Kim gives Cynthia her idea for the ad. A couple walking on the beach sans sunglasses, but as soon as they put them on, they’re walking the red carpet. It sounds similar to that ad for Diet Coke with the girl on the airplane. Cynthia loves the idea. She still wants to meet with Kenya and she asks Kim if she sees herself as director or producer. Kim says she usually does both and doesn’t co-direct, which didn’t answer the question, but I have the feeling she doesn’t want Kenya on board at all. I kind of don’t blame her and with Kenya not showing up, she doesn’t seem all that interested anyway.

Cynthia asks if Kim can work with Kenya. Kim says if it’s necessary, she can work with anyone, but she doesn’t want to work in a negative atmosphere. Cynthia says she’s willing to take a risk on both of them because she thinks they both have something to bring to the table. She tells Kim she loved her idea.

Next time, Jamaica! And Nene.

January 22, 2016 — GH 2x, Junior Chefs 4x & Quotes 3x


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital – Thursday

Sonny tells Carly that the court appointed supervisor is a nightmare and is a stickler with a timer. Carly says Ava is a witch who will exploit the situation however she can.

Kiki tells Ava, who must be glued to a seat in the MetroCourt, that she can’t talk until she has a break. Ava says she isn’t there to infringe, but she’s starving. For some reason, this is focused on a little and it makes me wonder if Ava is pregnant. The subject of Morgan comes up and Kiki tells Ava she and Morgan are good for each other.

Sonny meets with a doctor who wouldn’t shut up about his celebrity patients. Sonny gives Carly a bunch of gossip. Max says that the doctor has worked on Diane’s favorite character on The Housewives of Beecher’s Corners (not a real show, so don’t check your TV guide). Carly realizes the doctor is on the show and Morgan asks if he’s Sonny’s new doctor. I’m hoping for a show within the show, like One Life to Live did with Sorority Row.

Elizabeth asks Jason why Sam is there. He tells her Sam is there in her PI capacity. Sam wants to take a look around and Elizabeth says absolutely not.

Ava says she’s truly happy that Morgan and Kiki are in each other’s lives. Kiki says she’s trying to make sure he takes his meds. Ava asks her to try to keep Morgan from getting into trouble.

Sonny says no way is he going to a celebrity doctor. Morgan is at the hospital to see his therapist. Max has to go and Sonny asks Morgan why he was on the docks on New Year’s Eve. He says there was illegal activity going on and Morgan had better not be planning on getting into Sonny’s business.

Hayden and Nicholas make sweet talk. Hayden’s phone rings and she says it’s the office and takes the call in another room. It’s Curtis, who says she owes him money.

Elizabeth says that the police didn’t find anything, so Sam won’t either. Evil seed Jake pipes up that Sam is the one who broke in and Sam says she’d never do anything to hurt him or his family. He gets sent upstairs where he belongs. Sam says the police could have missed something and asks Elizabeth if she can put her feelings aside for second, or is she worried Sam will find something she doesn’t want anyone to know about?

Nicholas says he spoke to his lawyer and if Jason doesn’t get put in jail, the lawsuit is going to be more difficult than he thought.

Jason tells Elizabeth let’s just get this done. Elizabeth says just do whatever you need to do and that she has nothing to hide. She goes upstairs where she belongs. Sam tells Jason they should finish the walk through.

Sonny tells Morgan that he loves him, but if he’s involved in anything illegal, he’ll ship him overseas. Morgan says he’s a grown man, but Sonny says he’ll do whatever he has to in order to protect him.

Ava tells Kiki that if Morgan doesn’t take his meds, he could find himself in a dangerous situation, like what happened at the cabin. She adds that with Sonny recuperating, Morgan might try to get involved in the business. Kiki wonders why Ava is so concerned, and asks if Ava knows something. Ava says no, and Kiki says she’ll take that at face value, but she’s still suspicious. Carly stops at the table and tells Ava she needs a favor. Sure, Ava says, anything you want. Not really.

Ava asks what kind of favor Carly could possibly want. Carly says it’s a favor for Sonny. Ava makes noises about Sonny’s business, and Carly says Sonny would never let anything happen to Avery. Kiki suggests that to get on her good side, Ava drop the animosity toward Carly, and be civil. She goes back to work. Carly asks if Avery can spend a weekend with her and Sonny.

Sonny says he remembers how difficult it was for him in finding the right combination to combat his illness. Morgan says he feels like he’s not living his life. Sonny says he understands that it’s a feeling of being “flat” with no emotions. He says Morgan can’t isolate himself and it will get better. Morgan asks when it got easier for Sonny. Sonny says he’s not sure, but eventually his feelings came back without the crazy highs and lows. He talks about holding Avery and how it made him almost explode with joy. He says it’s inside Morgan too. He says if Morgan doesn’t take his meds, he’ll have another breakdown.

Hayden meets Curtis and gives him the money. Curtis says don’t ever make a payment until you get the goods, and doesn’t she want to know if the bullet that hit her came from a gun other than Shawn’s? She says of course. He gives her the report and says it’s all the proof she needs.

Jordan goes to see Nicholas. She tells him she’s there as a courtesy to tell him what’s happening with Jason’s case. She says there’s an eyewitness who says Jason didn’t try to hill him.

Sam and Jason don’t find anything, and Elizabeth says they can go now. Jason’s phone rings. It’s something about his case, so while he takes the call Elizabeth and Sam are left along. Sam tells Elizabeth that Jason really knows what’s going on; he just doesn’t want to admit it. She says that there was no sign of forced entry, no strange fingerprints, and even though kids were playing right outside, nobody saw anything.  She says true to form, Elizabeth made it all up and she smashed the photo herself.

Sonny reminds Morgan of how crazy he went when he went off his own medication. Morgan says he’s doing his best, but when he wakes up the first thing he thinks about is his disease. He says he’s getting through the day, but isn’t living his life. Sonny tells him to keep doing what he’s doing. Morgan says he doesn’t feel like a whole person and it would help him to know he was helping Sonny. Sonny says he’ll give Morgan a job.

Ava balks at leaving Avery alone with Sonny and Carly for a weekend. Carly says Sonny cherishes the time with Avery the most when she just wakes up. She says Avery needs Sonny as much as he needs Avery. Ava says no way.

Curtis asks what Hayden is going to do now. Hayden asks why it matters. Curtis says all of a sudden it seems like she’s not as interested in the results and asks if she’s changed her mind. He says she’s only alive because whoever shot her thinks she blames Shawn, and when they find out, they’ll try to kill her again.

Jordan tells Nicholas that the eyewitness saw the whole thing, that Nicholas started the fight and was propelled by his own momentum when he fell over the balcony. She wonders why he really wants Jason put away. Seriously, she’s the commissioner and she can’t figure out why?

Elizabeth asks why Sam thinks she would do such a thing. Sam says she’s trying to manipulate Jason so he feels sorry for her. Jason comes back in and says he’s off the hook with Nicholas. Elizabeth whines to him that Sam is accusing her of staging the break-in. Sam says it was staged by someone who lives there.  Elizabeth says it wasn’t enough that Sam stole Jason away from her; now she’s accusing her of terrorizing her own children. She says Sam ruined her life. No, you ruined your own life, you witch.

Hayden tells Curtis she’s safe and that the man who wanted her dead doesn’t anymore. Curtis is like, are you kidding? And asks her why she doesn’t expose him. She says she’s not ready. He asks if she’s saving it for blackmail. He says that she was lucky and now she’s pressing her luck. He says he’s not going to say anything, but she should “pPut this cat behind bars before he puts you in the ground.” Hayden tells him that he has his money and they’re done. She leaves and Curtis says they’re not done, they’re just getting started.

Nicholas says both he and Hayden told Jordan what happened. Jordan says Hayden waffled all over the place, along with claiming to be hysterical, but they now have a real eyewitness.

Elizabeth says she owned her mistake with Jason. Sam says she was given ample opportunity to do that, but didn’t until she was forced to. Elizabeth starts whining to Jason again. Sam adds that Elizabeth tried to keep him from his own son, jeopardizing his relationship with Danny. Sam says Jason knows this was staged and just doesn’t want to say it.

Sonny wants Morgan to work at Corrinthos Coffee. He’ll be starting at the bottom and Sonny says the physical activity will be good for him. Sounds like stock work to me. Morgan isn’t thrilled, but says he’ll do it. Sonny says he’s proud of Morgan. Morgan leaves for his appointment. Max says he’s been monitoring the dock activities. Sonny asks if he has information about Raj and Max says yes, and it’s not good.

Carly asks if they can they have her for an overnight, even if they can’t for a weekend. Carly says Avery needs her dad and Ava asks how Carly would know what Avery needs. Kiki comes back to the table, and says she wished for a father as a child, but she never had that experience until later because of Ava’s machinations. She tells Ava to stop apologizing and show her she’s willing to learn how to be a better mother. She says Ava can start by letting Sonny have his visit with Avery.

Hayden gets back to the castle. Nicholas says he might not have ELQ much longer because Jason has been exonerated. He says it could be worse, but he has Hayden and she’s more important that a stupid lawsuit. He says that Spencer keeps saying n is in love with her and he’s feeling it. Hayden says she can’t do this.

Jordan sees Curtis at Kelly’s. She says he keeps turning up like a bad penny. Curtis asks if she’s meeting her son and Jordan says don’t mention his name. Curtis says he misses his nephew.

Max shows Sonny some information and asks what they do now. Sonny says they wait and make sure everything is done right. He adds that he doesn’t know what Ava is up to, but she’s putting Avery in danger.

Ava says she’ll think about it. Carly says that’s better than a no, and thanks her. She leaves and Kiki says the way to be a better mother is to think of what her daughter would want.

Morgan comes in, says he got Kiki’s text and what’s up. She asks why Ava would think he’s going to get into trouble. He says he has no clue, but he’s going to be doing grunt work for Sonny’s coffee company.

Ava calls someone and tells them not to tell Paul about seeing Morgan at the docks.

Sam tells Jason that Elizabeth is taking advantage of how he feels about the boys. Elizabeth tells her to get out. Sam tells Jason he’s smarter than this and leaves. Elizabeth whines to Jason some more and when she sees his face, asks if he believes Sam.

Tomorrow, Laura asks for an explanation from Lulu and Elizabeth swears to Jason she’d never do anything so terrible. Unless he suddenly has short term memory loss, I’m guessing he’s not buying that.

General Hospital – Friday

Dante is using the punching bag like a mad man and Sonny asks if he’s working out his Lulu aggression.

Laura comes over Lulu’s place. She says Lulu left her with Rocco, ran off, and then later the police were looking for her. She dropped Rocco off at Windermere and now she wants an explanation.

Hayden wants Nicholas to back off. He asks what’s wrong.

Carly is planning something for Jason’s birthday.

Elizabeth says Jason can’t possibly believe Sam. Jason says the last time he asked her not to believe Sam, she was lying, so what makes this time different? Good point.

For the love of all that’s holy, we don’t really need to know that it’s going to snow tomorrow morning. Thanks, ABC News, for breaking into Friday’s GH for this. None of us knew that coastal flooding can cause damage either, so I appreciate that information, as well as letting me know that if it isn’t that bad, you’ll adjust your reports accordingly. OMG – there’s a recording coming in on my phone too. And they’re telling us we should stay inside during a blizzard. I guess no one has been through winter before and we all just fell out of trees yesterday.

And when they were finally done? We come back to a commercial. Because God forbid we miss that. The Bernie Madoff movie looks good though.

Hayden says the thought of love is overwhelming and that she’s never really been in love before. She says when the money ran out, her ex-husband did too. Nicholas says things changed when he was in the hospital and he can say he loves her now, but all he sees is fear in her eyes. Hayden says she’s afraid to love him as much as she does.

Michael tells Sonny that there’s nothing he can do about Sabrrrina. Dante says Lulu would have been facing 15 years in prison if Johnny hadn’t taken the fall for her.

Lulu says everything changed when Dante left Rocco alone with Valerie. She told Johnny he could stay if he’d get Valerie out of her life and that’s how Valerie ended up tied up in the cabin. Laura freaks about the fire and asks if it’s intentional, and did Lulu and Johnny mean to kill Valerie.

Dante explains how Johnny set Valerie up. He says Lulu was in on the set up, but he doesn’t think she meant for it to go the way it did. He says Lulu will never legally be charged, but he doesn’t know if he can get past it.

Lulu says she knows how it looks, but she wasn’t trying to get revenge. She just wanted Valerie to leave town. Laura asks if Dante knows. Lulu says yes, and she’s never seen him so angry. She says the last she saw him, he was going to check on Valerie, and for all she knows, he’s still with her and she has no one but herself to blame.

Sonny said what Lulu did was vindictive, but that’s not her normal behavior. He says Dante should acknowledge the hurt he caused. Dante says he has. Maybe, but he also expected Lulu to get over it in a day. Sonny reminds Dante of his better or worse wedding vows and says that he let anger come between him and Carly. Dante says he and Lulu are nothing like Sonny and Carly.

Sam tells Carly about her break-in theory and says she raised the possibility of Elizabeth being behind it, and Jason was there. Carly asks if Elizabeth responded with tears of wounded innocence or offended outrage. Ha-ha! Sam says she doesn’t know if Jason will be up for a party, but Carly says he might want to be around people who aren’t trying to manipulate him. Carly talks about Jason and Sam getting back together and Sam says she wants him to get there in his own time.

Jason says he can’t move past Elizabeth letting his wife and child grieve for him when she knew he was alive. Elizabeth says they loved each other at some point and what about her opening her home to him when she thought he was a stranger. She says she would never do anything as horrible as frightening her own child and swears on her love for him, she had nothing to do with the break-in.

Jason says their focus should be on who broke in the house. Elizabeth swears it wasn’t her, which means nothing. Jason asks if they’re going to be okay in the house. She says yes, and he says he’ll call her in the morning. Jake asks if Sam made his dad go away again.

Nicholas gets seriously mushy about how love can change your life and it’s a risk worth taking. Hayden says what if she doesn’t deserve him?

Lulu says Valerie seduced Dante, and she has a right to be angry and lash out, but it went too far and now she’s the villain. Laura tells her to slow her roll and hold still until she gets some clarity. Lulu says she wishes she’d listened the first time. Laura says she does too, and she’s sorry, but she has to get back to Rocco. She tells Lulu she loves her, and Lulu says ditto. Laura opens the door and Dante is standing there.

Laura tells Dante that Rocco is at Windermere and everything is fine. Then she leaves. Dante asks if he can come in. Part of me wants them to work it out because Lulu obviously loves him, but the other part wants her to forget about him because he’s such a tool.

Jason comes into the bar. Carly says she and Sam were just talking about how Sam got the attempted murder charges dropped, and Sam acts all modest. Carly wants to celebrate, but Jason says he was just going to have dinner in his room. Sam says that’s cool, but Carly says wait a second, happy birthday!

Jason says he knows he wasn’t born in January. Carly tells him that he’d considered this day his birthday because of being reborn after the accident. Carly says a whole bunch of stuff that I can boil down to today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Elizabeth tells Jake nobody made Jason go away, and that they’ll see him tomorrow. She tells him his dad loves him very much, but they’re not getting married or living together. Laura knocks at the door. It’s Jake’s bedtime, so upstairs he goes. Laura asks if everything is back to normal, since they’re back at the house. Elizabeth says nothing is back to normal.

Sonny tells Michael he hopes Dante doesn’t throw everything away and that obstacles are made to be overcome. Michael says that some obstacles can’t be overcome. Sonny says, the quickest way to lose is to refuse to try. He tells Michael that he hates doing exercises, throwing combinations while he’s in the wheelchair, but he does everything for his family and so he can be the man they need him to be. Really? Is that why he’s a mob boss?

Lulu says he’s glad Valerie wasn’t hurt and that she knows she did wrong. Dante says she jeopardized Rocco. Lulu says she does understand and she’s sorry, but maybe they can make this a turning point, face their mistakes and stop punishing each other. She says she never imagined what was going to happen, that they loved each other and it must be still there. Dante says she did horrible things because she loved him. She says that’s true, everything she did was for them. These people all have bizarre concepts of sacrificing for their families.

Hayden says she started off blackmailing and then grew to care for Nicholas, but didn’t realize how much until he was in the hospital. She says maybe she has too much baggage and that she should leave and they should both start fresh. He tells her to stay forever instead. Because that’s the only other option.

Sonny tells Michael to go to the party Carly is having for Jason to be supportive. Michael says he learns from Sonny’s example every day. Alone at the gym, Sonny looks thoughtful.

Elizabeth tells Laura that Jason asked Sam to investigate the break-in and that she came to the conclusion Elizabeth staged it. Laura acts all surprised and appalled.

Jason says he isn’t feeling it. The chef brings out the cake and he apologizes. Carly says she’d rather he be honest and he can take the cake home if he wants. He says that he’s sorry he can’t be her old friend. Carly gets kind of pissed and says her birthday wish for him is that he stops separating who he used to be and who he is now, and just be himself. She hollers “happy birthday” at him and storms out. Jason tells Sam to have some cake; he’s going out for air.

Dante tells Lulu that when he told Valerie they’d gotten close over Christmas, she ended things, so Lulu didn’t need to go to such extremes. Valerie was already gone. Lulu asks if he was sad, and Dante says no, he was relieved because he’d wanted to be with Lulu the whole time. Ouch!

Lulu says they can fix it and as long as they love each other, they can find their way back. He says they at a time when they should have clung to each other, they didn’t, and now it’s over. Lulu suggests counseling, but Dante says they know too much now. He says he never thought he could cheat on her and he did, and he never thought she could be so vindictive and horrible, but she was. He says they’re not who they thought they were. She says they can be and should for Rocco’s sake. He says for Rocco’s sake they should part and he’s going to talk to a lawyer. He leaves her crying hysterically. This almost makes me want to cry, but because it’s Dante, I don’t.

Nicholas suggests he and Hayden get married. Hayden said they’d already talked about it. Nicholas says she’d offered it as a business proposition, and that when he turned it down, she stayed. He says love shouldn’t be about stocks and bonds, and that all he knows is that his life is better with her in it. He says more mushy stuff and I almost like him. I do like them together, but I love to hate him. He gets down on one knee and asks her to marry him. Awww!

Elizabeth whines to Laura, asking why Sam can’t just wallow in her victory and leave poor, innocent her alone. While she and Laura talk, Jake sits on the steps drawing a scary, dark picture of Sam.  DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Sonny tries to lift himself out of the wheelchair. He’s able to stand. Sort of.

Michael sees Carly and asks where the party is. She says Jason didn’t want one. She says he was gracious, but she got emotional. She says she got upset about him talking about himself in the third person, as in Jason her friend, as though he was someone else when he’s the same person. Michael says of course he’s the same person, that’s why he being stubborn.

Sam brings a piece of cake out – man, it looks good! – to where Jason is. He says he has to start living the life he made for himself, even if he doesn’t remember making it and appreciate the people living it with him. Sam says he should thank Carly and feeds him a bite of cake. It starts to rain and they run inside. Jason says, this always happens to us, doesn’t it? Sam asks if he remembers something and he says yes, them on a rooftop in the rain. He says he doesn’t just have the memory of them, but he remembers how it felt. He talks about them dancing and kissing. He says he remembers how Sam felt and smelled, and I try not to make a joke here. He tells Sam he doesn’t remember how and why they were there, but it feels real. Sam says it was real

Tomorrow, Jordan and Curtis clash, and Tracy sees…someone.

MasterChef Junior

It seems like the season just started, but we’re down to four contestants.

Ha-ha! The judges reveal the kids’ parents heads on platters (the rest of them is under the table). It’s a little creepy how the kids don’t freak out much.

The first challenge is a soufflé. I’m out. I like to tell myself I’d cook like this if I had that pantry, but that’s highly doubtful.

Not one of the soufflés falls. Even the kids are shocked at themselves. I think the judges minds are boggled too. There are some cooking nuances I don’t have a clue about that will make the decision. My girl Addy wins the challenge.

Addy gets to choose which of the four cuts of pork each of the other contestants has to cook. Of course one is pig ears, which I wouldn’t have the vaguest idea of what to do with. The kid who gets those makes them into a salad that looks amazing, but the strips of ear are undercooked and I go, ewwww! when Graham stretches them like a rubber band. I remember from the Little House on the Prairie books that those kinds of things should be crispy. Unless the next dish isn’t cooked at all, this kid is going home.

The nine-year-old got pork belly and gets some serious props from the judges. Graham says something about luck, and she says it’s not just luck, she’s a competitor. I wasn’t much younger when I  thought it would be a good idea to put a Tupperware container directly on the stove burner to heat some soup.

The nine-year-old is moving on to the grand finale. Gordon is hemming and hawing about how hard the decision was, but we all know the undercooked pork kid is going to go.

YES! Addy is in. It’s going to be her against the nine-year-old.

As for the two who are going home, feel proud of yourselves. Any mistakes you’ve made, none of us would have ever noticed and when most of us were your age, we didn’t even know what a soufflé was, much less have been able to cook one. And this is something you’ll remember your entire lives. Good job!

Next week, the finale. Where does the time go?

The People’s Couch – Quotes

I probably laugh more during this show than anything else I watch. They’re like the perfect friends to watch television with, but better dressed. Galavant has been added to their line-up. Princella describes it as “The Princess Bride with music” and I think that’s a perfect description.

Favorite quotes this week:

We know where Potomac is now. Shadesville. Emerson, referring to The Real Housewives of Potomac.

He is killing this audition to be jack Nicholson for the next four decades. Emerson again, referring to Leo DiCaprio accepting a Golden Globe.

Mob Wives is also back for its final season on VH1, as evidenced by their subtitle, The Last Stand. Karen gave me one other irresistible quote:

She has the mentality of a moth ball.

Even though I wasn’t always a steady watcher of this show, I’ll miss it. It also has one of the best soundtracks on television.

If we all get snowed in this weekend, at least there’s cable.

January 20, 2016 — GH & Oscar Gripe Part Two


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Nina tells Franco that the magazine circulation is up, and people are even renewing their subscriptions. She thinks Julian is going to be thrilled. Guess again.

Julian and Nina have an interview with the Financial Times and Nina will pitch her new ideas. Julian is convinced the green issue of Crimson is a fluke. Olivia calls and tells Julian she has an emergency. Apparently so, since she’s handcuffed to a chair in the police station. Baby Leo is with her in a stroller, but it seems he’s not charged with anything, or they couldn’t find a pair of handcuffs that small.

Doc tells Elizabeth that with some time and treatment, Jake should be fine, but he’s worried about her.

Jason and Sam run into each other at the MetroCourt. Everyone not only eats there, but lives there now. Sam says Dr. Sheinberg is going to save the day with his statement.

Andre rings Anna’s doorbell. She tells him it’s not the best time. Robert comes downstairs and Anna realizes Andre is Robert’s contact regarding Carrrlos.

Sabrrrina answers the phone and it’s Felix. He tells her about Michael stopping by and saying he made a mistake in breaking up with her. She gets excited about this. Hmm… Hot, suave and exciting Carrrlos or boring, so-so looking and unsympathetic Michael.

Andre has a connection to the WSB and Anna asks if that’s how he knew so much about her. He says he never read her file, but knew her reputation. Robert is surprised they know one another. Andre says they’ve seen each other around, but Anna confesses he was her therapist.

Julian and Alexis come to the police station. Olivia tells them what happened, but not quite. Alexis asks if she was arrested for breastfeeding in public, but the mayor pops out and says Olivia has been arrested for assaulting her.

Jason says he wishes there was another witness. Sam says they don’t need one.  Jason says he isn’t thinking about his own assault charges, but the break-ins at Elizabeth’s. I guess he thinks there’s a connection there?

Doc asks Elizabeth about the whole wedding debacle, and he says on top of everything, she’s having problems with a stalker, so she’s bound to be seriously stressed. He also says he knows her history.

Nina is doubting herself and Franco says she single-handedly saved the magazine. Nina thinks she was a one hit wonder, and says she’d better come up with some decent ideas before the interview. Franco has to leave, but he tells her she can do it.

Olivia says she didn’t assault anyone. The mayor says she was verbally assaulted. Since when can you be arrested for that? We’d all be in jail. Olivia says she lost her temper a little. The mayor says it wasn’t a little, but Olivia says she’s Italian and it was. The mayor tells an officer to take Olivia to her cell. Alexis says she’s now Olivia’s lawyer and she’s not going anywhere.

Andre has created a profile for Carrrlos, and says it will help determine what he would do. He says Carrrlos is also traveling with Sabrrrina and his child, so he’s going to become increasingly desperate.

Carrrlos walks in while Sabrrrina is talking to Felix, so she gets off the phone. Carrrlos says talking to Felix is a bad idea.

Jason tells Sam about the break-in. She asks if he talked to Jake, and Jason says he’s a mixed up kid and said that she did it.

Doc tells Elizabeth that her level of stress could send her into another breakdown. He says high levels of stress often precipitate conditions someone has already. He tells her if she’s feeling overly stressed, to call for help. She says she will, but IMO that’s highly doubtful.

Jason says Jake is just confused and angry at the situation, and there’s no way to really explain things to him. He says Jake is seeing a therapist today, but he wishes he could figure out what’s going on. Sam says it sounds like a personal issue. Jason wonders who might have a vendetta against him. Oh come on. I know he remembers very little of his past, but does he really need to ask this question?

Elizabeth gives Jake some coloring stuff, and talks to the therapist. She says they have more trust building to do, and all he wanted to talk about was his father. She recommends art therapy in conjunction with talk therapy. Franco sees Jake coloring and asks how it’s going.

Sabrrrina says Felix called her, but Carrrlos says anytime the phone is used, it’s a risk. Sabrrrina says she’s having a hard time getting used to life on the run. She also tells him Anna is looking for her.

Andre and Anna discuss various particulars of Sabrrrina’s and Carrrlos’s personalities. Andre says Carrrlos will want to be in a place with adequate medical care, since Sabrrrina is close to her due date . Anna adds that at this point, Sabrrrina can’t fly.

Brady from the Financial Times comes to Nina’s office. She tells him Julian is tied up and they should reschedule. Brady says they don’t have to because Nina is the brains behind the operation. Nina wants Maxie in on the meeting, but Brady says he wants to know how she came up with the green issue and what she’s doing for an encore. While I don’t pretend to know anything about magazine publication, but I don’t think you’d be giving away future ideas in an interview.

Alexis asks the mayor what the subject was of the verbal assault. The mayor says it doesn’t matter because she’s extremely clueless. Alexis sets the scene and says the mayor did exactly what she’s accusing Olivia of and when Olivia tried to remove herself from the situation, she jostled the table. She tells the mayor that breastfeeding is legal and she’s the one who should have been arrested for harassing Olivia. She says if it goes to court, she’ll make sure this comes out.

Julian suggests that there must be a way to work things out. He says he doesn’t want a scandal that will bury the mayor. Leo starts whining and Olivia wants to feed him. The officer asks where the bottle is, and Olivia says in her bra and that if she was feeding him with a bottle, they wouldn’t be here in the first place. Alexis helps her finagle the baby, since she’s still handcuffed.

Nina tells Brady about her vision of the green issue. She says she wants the next issue to reflect the readership that made the green issue a success. Brady asks about the readers and Nina makes something up after looking at a soda ad, using words like “effervescent.” Brady says he knows exactly what she’s up to.

Sam brings up Franco and tells Jason about how Franco had a brain tumor removed and changed his life around. She says she still thinks he’s dangerous, but wouldn’t jeopardize his new life to get back at Jason.

Elizabeth balks at Jake having therapy with Franco. Both Doc and the therapist say Franco gets results and they would never put Jake in danger.

Andre, Anna and Robert come to the conclusion that Sabrrrina and Carrrlos are in Canada.

Sabrrrina says Anna was under the impression that Carrrlos was still alive. Carrrlos says she has no reason to, and they have to get used to their new life. If I was with Carrrlos, I’d get used to it really quick. He says he’s going to make sure Sabrrrina and the baby have everything they need, and doesn’t know what she sees in Port Charles anyway. Well, it does have the MetroCourt, all things to all people. He says she has to say good-by to everyone she knew there. I assume he means figuratively.

Brady says he knows Nina is going to reflect the glamour of real women, and gives her a whole bunch of new ideas. Nina says he’s read her mind. He thanks her for the interview and wishes her luck with the next issue.

The mayor says she doesn’t see any press at the station. Julian says since he publishes the paper, he’s going to tell the real story and it will be political suicide. The mayor asks if he’s threatening her. He says he actually voted for her and wouldn’t want to see her career go down the tubes. Did this mayor just drop in out of the sky? She should lose her position just for sheer stupidity.

Anna thinks Carrrlos would head for Toronto. Andre says Carrrlos would want to go somewhere more isolated, like Halifax.

Sabrrrina tells Carrrlos he’s right and throws her phone into the wilderness. Carrrlos says from now on it’s just the two of them and Sabrrrina says baby makes three. She says she’s curious as to how he’ll be as a father. He says they’ll find out soon.

Sam says Jason should hire an investigator. Jason asks if she’s volunteering. They decide to check out Elizabeth’s house.

Julian calls Nina and she says they did the interview without him. He tells her the short version of what happened with Olivia and says he’ll talk to her later. A light bulb comes on over Nina’s head.

Elizabeth asks Doc friend to friend if he thinks the art therapy is a good idea. Doc says he absolutely does. Elizabeth goes to get Jake, and Jake gives Franco the drawings he’s finished. They leave and Franco looks at the drawings.

The mayor gets a clue and says let’s pretend this never happened. Olivia, Leo and Julian leave. Alexis tells the mayor that she doesn’t think pretending is a good idea and she and Olivia are filing suit.

Andre is certain about Halifax and Anna says that’s where they’re going to go.

Franco shows Doc Jake’s pictures. He says he used to make drawing s like that as a kid and they’re not necessarily a good thing.

Jason and Sam are at Sam’s house and Jason goes through what happened the night of the break-in. He says the police didn’t find any unknown fingerprints and there was no evidence of forced entry. While they’re talking, Elizabeth and Jake come in. Ha-ha! Elizabeth’s face!

Tomorrow, Carly asks Ava for a favor, and Sam asks Elizabeth if she’s afraid of what Sam will find. She should be, since I’m certain it’s either her, Jake or both “breaking in” to their own home.

The Academy Awards – Controversy Part Two

Part one was the usual yearly gripe about who got “snubbed.” Like I said, there are tons of superb performances that don’t get recognized at all, so be grateful people are talking about you at all. Especially for what you get paid.

Part two involves Jada Pinkett Smith suggesting that African Americans boycott the Oscars because her husband didn’t get nominated for one because of the lack of diversity. While I can applaud the cause, I can’t applaud this as a means to achieve the goal.

I’m with Whoopi Goldberg in that this is a concern during other times of the year, not just prior to the Oscars, and with Wendy Williams, who found the timing somewhat suspicious. One wonders had Will Smith been nominated, would a boycott have been suggested. Highly doubtful. But most of all, I’m with Janet Huber. Although I’m pretty sure Aunt Viv still has an ax to grind from her Fresh Prince days, she’s right, “it ain’t that deep.” There are plenty of areas to focus on rather than something as shallow as the film industry.

Most of all, I feel sorry for Chris Rock, who has found himself in the middle of this stupidity. This innocent bystander is being shot from all sides, and he’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. I hope he follows his own heart and mind, but I also hope he doesn’t bow out as host.

I also hope this woman is proud of herself. She did little to help any actual issues, but a lot to hurt the very people she claims to want to support. Wait. Maybe she should run for office.

I’m a quarter Native American and have always been proud of my heritage. If anyone has cause to gripe, it’s us, having been misrepresented both in story and with casting in film. While that has changed somewhat over the years, I’ve never felt bitter. As a matter-of-fact, I still think, as I did when I was a child, that Tom Nardini was the hottest “Indian” ever in Cat Ballou. When I was ten, I had no idea his last name was Italian. All I knew was that he was cute and funny.

It ain’t that deep.

January 19, 2016 — GH, BH & the H & HN


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Anna and Robert meet at the MetroCourt for a meal. Seriously, does no one eat at home anymore? They talk about missing Robin, but Anna says she knows Robin made the right choice. She tells Robert she’s concentrating on work now and she’s going to take Paul down.

Olivia sees Ava with Avery. Ava is looking for the Mommy & Me yoga class. Olivia, who is headed for the same class, makes some rude remarks and says she’ll take the service elevator.

Jordan and Dante and looking at speed cameras to see if they can figure out where Valerie is. Andre brings Jordan some coffee. She says she’s sorry she missed their dinner date, but it was because of Valerie’s disappearance. He says his ego is safe then. I love Andre. He’s all kinds of cool.

Maxie runs in and asks Dante if she’s heard from Lulu. She sees the picture of Valerie with Johnny.

Valerie and Lulu apparently did spend the night in the car and survived. They get out and do some jogging moves to get warm. Valerie thanks Lulu for saving her, but then asks how she knew where to go. She asks if Johnny and Lulu set her up.

Johnny has been apprehended. Jordan asks him where Valerie is.

Anna fills Robert in on the chain of DAs before Paul. She questions whether Mayor Lomax should be in office and says it should have been Felicia. I have some vague recollection of Nicholas being involved with the election fix.

The mayor and Paul discuss focusing their efforts on Sonny. Mayor Lomax says Sonny is a Teflon Don who nobody has been able to nail yet. Paul asks if he should back off, but she says no, just be smart. The mayor notices that Anna and Robert are there.

Dante gets Johnny alone and shakes him down about Valerie. Johnny asks why he cares, which hits a nerve. Nathan says Johnny is his collar, so he needs to take him for questioning.

Lulu tells Valerie she saw the fire from the road. Valerie says Johnny made a phone call to someone to bring his bag and the last thing he told her was that someone would find her. Lulu says she sounds paranoid and Valerie says Lulu sounds guilty. She adds that this begins and ends with Dante.

Jordan tells Johnny that if Valerie gets hurt, he’s going to regret it. He says he’s been read his Miranda rights and until his attorney gets there, he’s not talking. On cue, Scotty comes in and Johnny is like, no way.

Ava sees Olivia at the bar and asks if anyone turned in a toy Avery dropped. They did and Avery gets her giraffe back. They talk a little about babies and yoga, which weirds me out since there was such animosity five minutes ago. Ava leaves and Mayor Lomax approaches Olivia about hosting an event at the hotel.

Paul says hello to Robert and asks what brings him back to Port Charles. Robert laughs about Paul becoming DA and Paul says he owes it all to Anna. He says together they’ll eradicate organized crime. He asks Robert if there’s anything he should know in a professional capacity.

Johnny says having Scotty as an attorney is a conflict of interest. Scotty says Johnny was involved with the death of his son. Jordan asks if Johnny can afford his own attorney, and he says he wants a public defender. Jordan says none is available right now, so all he’s got is Scotty. She says either Johnny talks or he’s going into the slammer. Scotty tells him not to answer the first question. Honestly, a real PD would not have him standing in as Johnny’s attorney. I don’t mind suspension of disbelief while watching a show, but sometimes GH stretches it a little too far.

Lulu says she was driving to clear her head. Valerie says she’s lying and there’s no way the fire could have been seen from the road. Valerie has finally put two and two together and realizes she was set up. She says she didn’t know Johnny and he had no reason to kidnap her. Valerie keeps going on and on, asking if Lulu wanted her killed, and Lulu finally lets it slip that she just wanted Valerie away from Dante.

Anna tells Paul that she and Robert have more in common than the WSB, and Robert is here on family business. Paul says he admires that, since he and Tracy can barely have a civil conversation. He says he’d just been commending Anna to the mayor, and hopes to see Robert again.

Olivia and the mayor are going over the event menu. Leo starts fussing and Olivia begins to breastfeed. The mayor freaks out like she’s never seen or heard of such a thing. Really?

Paul isn’t buying that the meeting between Anna and Robert was just quality time between exes. Ava comes to his door and says she has something for him. I’ll bet.

Johnny insists he didn’t contact anyone in Port Charles. Jordan says they’ll interrogate everyone he knows if he doesn’t speak up. He says if that includes Maxie, even though she turned him in. Scotty keeps telling him to shut up, but he says that no one helped voluntarily and he threatened Lulu to get her to help him.

Valerie and Lulu go back and forth. Valerie says Lulu’s marriage was a three-way train wreck: her, Dante and Lulu. She says that what happened with Johnny was way out of line. Lulu says she only wanted her to stay away from Dante. Valerie says she’s so stupid that she didn’t realize what she had and still does. Valerie smacks her and they both start to go at it. Dante suddenly arrives.

Dante asks what’s going on. Valerie says Lulu tried to kill her. When Lulu says Valerie hit her first, Valerie says that she’s not talking about that. Lulu says Valerie is making stuff up, but Dante tells her to shut up. Valerie tells Dante about how Johnny set her up. An officer arrives to deal with the crime scene and Lulu freaks a little because her phone is in there.

Johnny says he told Lulu if she didn’t help him, he’d hurt her family, but he didn’t really mean it. He says he didn’t target Valerie, but they’d run into each other when her car broke down, and he thought it would be a good idea to have a rookie in his pocket and bribed her, but later she relented and he left her in the cabin.

Paul tells Anna that there’s another reason Paul is interested in her, and that Paul has the hots for her. Robert says that’s her way in and a way to bring Paul down.

Paul tells Ava that they weren’t supposed to see each other publicly. She says she thought their next exchange should be made in private and shows him a painting that she invested the proceeds from the gun sale in. She asks if he’d like her to stay and he says suit herself. They kiss.

The mayor says that breastfeeding should be done in private. Olivia says when her baby is hungry, she’s going to feed him. The mayor threatens her with public indecency. The mayor who has never been on the internet or even read a recent newspaper. Olivia tells her that breastfeeding isn’t illegal. The mayor continues on about how breastfeeding in public is indecent, and Olivia suggests that the last time she was half-naked, it was probably the stone age.

Ava and Paul are basking in the afterglow. That was fast.

Anna says they’ll be wearing overcoats in hell before she seduces Paul. Robert says she doesn’t have to do all that, but she could warm up to him a little. Anna says that he’ll get suspicious if she’s suddenly friendly. Robert says Paul isn’t fit to shine her shoes , but he’s an egoist who doesn’t know that. He tells her to worry about Paul and he’ll take care of Carrrlos. He has an expert who might be able to give him some insights as to where Carrrlos and Sabrrrina might be.

Andre and Jordan flirt. He tells her congrats about Johnny, and that he’s going to continue to try and get a third date out of her. She tells him the power jaguar is working.

Lulu and Valerie are at the hospital. Valerie leaves for an examination. Lulu tells Dante she can explain, but he says that’s not possible.

Ava says art, sex and money is the basis for their relationship. Paul wants her to make some inquiries in regard to the next shipment. She asks some questions, but Paul says it’s better if she doesn’t know.

Anna says she feels like this is her last chance to get justice for Duke. The doorbell rings.

The mayor acts like a huge jerk. Olivia wonders why it’s mostly women who have a problem with public breastfeeding. I can hazard a guess as to why men don’t, but the mayor says it’s because women don’t want to have to explain things to their kids, and that Olivia is not only being indecent, she’s annoying a public official.

Dante says he made a huge mistake that destroyed half of them as a couple and now Lulu finished the job. He tells her what Johnny told them and says he might hate Johnny, but at least he has a shred of decency. He goes to check on Valerie. Maxie arrives, and Lulu collapses in her arms, crying.

Tomorrow, Doc is back and Olivia has an emergency.

BTW, I knew I recognized the mayor, who is now a different actress. It’s Shari Belafonte and she looks amazing!

The Haves and the Have Nots

The “dead” Quincy grabs Candace’s ankle. He begs her to call an ambulance and she says no. He tells her to remember he loves her. She says she remembers her own begging for an ambulance when he broke her jaw. She remembers him pimping her out too, and she asks if he really wants her to remember anything. She tells him she’ll never help him and that no one is going to miss him. She says she’s going to sit there and wait for him to die. She’s cold, but I don’t blame her.

The cop (I wish they’d say his name) brings Jeffrey to some isolated place and pats him down. He starts asking Jeffrey questions about Candace. The cop says Candace told him Jeffrey was gay and he can’t stand “queers.” Methinks he’s a closet case. He asks if Jeffrey wants him and Jeffrey says no, but he says he can see it in Jeffrey’s eyes. He says Jeffrey makes him sick and tells him to get back in the car. What that was all about, I have no clue.

Ohhh, wait. He’s getting in the back seat with him. I know what this is about now. He asks Jeffrey what he likes to do with guys. The cop uses the word “fellatio,” which I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use IRL. Just as it’s about to get dicey, the cop gets a radio call asking if he’s picked Jeffrey up and that the DA needs to talk to him. He says he’ll be there in five minutes and orders a tow truck for Quincy’s car.

The cop tells Jeffrey that what Jeffrey was about to offer him was illegal, says he could bring him up on more charges and tells him he’s disgusting. The cop gets back in the front seat and drives to the station.

Quincy continues to beg Candace to help him and says they have a son together. She says he never cared about that before. Quincy says if she doesn’t get an ambulance, he and her son will both die. He says their son needs medicine. Both Candace and I have no idea what he’s talking about and he won’t elaborate unless she gets him some help. Candace tells Quincy his son is better off with him dead.

Quincy says when she finds her son dying to remember she let him die. Candace tells him good-by and to rest in hell. Exit Quincy.

Back in Quincy’s neighborhood, which has the cleanest looking graffiti I’ve ever seen, some guy asks Quincy’s sister (Queen) if she’s seen him. She says no, so the dude suggests she trace his phone. They have a discussion about a job coming up and some money. She says Quincy is going to want his cut. I don’t think Quincy cares about his cut anymore.

Judge Marx comes in to congratulate DA Jennifer on collaring Jim. She wants the judge to sign off on Wyatt’s trust fund. She says if they can’t get him to leave the house, they won’t be able to get him to testify. The judge signs the paper and says they’re rooting for her.

Tony and his girlfriend show up at the tow yard. Benny is on the phone and he’s obviously very busy. Tony tells his girl to answer the phone. Benny asks Tony if he’ll work for him. Tony wants to know how Benny got the tow yard in the first place. Tony says Candace must have hooked him up. He’d run into her and she said she came into some money. Benny asks if he knows how she got it, but Tony says no. Tony says he’s a thug, and Benny says it’s time to go legit.

Enter Mitch. Tony and Mitch start arguing. Benny tells them to chill and says that he needs some help. Mitch wants to know how Benny got the tow yard, since he said he had no money. Benny explains that his sister got it for him. Tony looks seriously puzzled. Benny says however she did it, she paid for it and it’s all on the up and up. Benny says just because it’s bought and paid for doesn’t mean it will pay the bills, and he needs their help. Tony asks where Candace is now.

Hanna calls the front desk. She wants to stay another night, but doesn’t have the cash. She asks if she can do some work for them, but the desk clerk says they have all the help they need. Hanna calls the social worker, who says she’s been trying to get ahold of Hanna. She asks what happened to Hanna’s house. Hanna says there was a fire and she and Quincy Jr. are staying at a hotel. The social worker says that’s not a stable environment and she’ll have to pick him up. Hanna asks if she can wait until Monday evening. She says she’ll give Hanna until 3 on Monday. Geez, I guess they don’t give much leeway.

Quincy Jr. Is awake and says he doesn’t feel good. He says he’s hot and Hanna says he doesn’t seem to have a fever. He asks when they’re going home and says he needs his medicine. Hanna asks what he’s talking about. He says he doesn’t know, but it makes him feel better. Hanna says the hospital didn’t say he needed anything, but she’ll check with them in the morning.

Maggie’s assistant, Landon, has given the story she wanted to the press. She gets a call and sets up an emergency hearing for David. Landon asks what’s up with that, and she says David is being released. Landon says he doesn’t feel good about it, and Maggie says good thing he’s not her then.

The clerk at the police station calls Jennifer and says Jeffrey is coming in. Jennifer says to keep him there. The clerk (Sally) says that won’t be a problem since he just got arrested for a DUI. Jennifer asks Sally to arrange three empty cells together and put Jeffrey in the middle one. After some discussion in which we hear that Sally wouldn’t have her job without Jennifer’s help, Sally says she’ll see what she can do. She also tells Jennifer to check her email. When Jennifer does, she sees the press release. Jennifer tells Sally to get copies of the paper and make sure Jeffrey and the others see it.

Nameless cop brings in Jeffrey. Sally looks nervous as all get out.

Wyatt’s doorbell rings. Pete the drug dealer is at the door and Wyatt asks if he has what Wyatt asked for. He says yes, but where’s the money? Wyatt says he has jewelry and the dealer says he’s not a pawn shop. Wyatt says he has no cash, but Pete says he’ll take a credit card. They take Visa now? Man, I am out of the loop. Wyatt hands over some credit cards and Pete gives him a kit to pass a drug test, along with a bag of heroin. Wow. This is some service. Pete says he’s not giving him everything until he has the cash. Wyatt says he’s getting a $12 million inheritance and asks if Pete wants to be replaced after he gets it. Pete says it’s $80 grand worth and the guy he got it from will kill both of them if he doesn’t get paid, so Wyatt had better come up with the money. Pete says let’s share a hit for old times’ sake.

A newspaper is tossed into Kathryn and Veronica’s cell. Kathryn looks at it first and gives it to Veronica, asking if she had an affair. There’s a picture of her with Benny on the front page, but only Veronica’s face can be seen. Veronica immediately knows Maggie did it to get to David. She tells Kathryn that Maggie told her as much. Kathryn says she gave Maggie the ammunition and asks who it is in the picture with her. Veronica gets testy and then apologizes, but says she can’t talk about it there because the walls have ears. Kathryn asks if she thinks David has seen it and Veronica says he’s probably seeing it right now.

Yep. Jim asks David if Maggie wants him to run for governor instead of him. He says he understand why Maggie would want to separate the two of them, but why would she want to separate David and his wife?

I think Quincy is dead now. I think. There’s a knock at Candace’s door. It’s Tony. He asks to come inside, but she says it’s late and wants to talk outside. He forces his way in and shakes her down about giving the money to Benny. He pushes her down the hallway and the two of them practically trip over Quincy’s body. This should be good.

Next week, Maggie demands David be let out and Veronica claims she was raped.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle is opening her pop-up shop in the Hamptons. It’s a very cute store. Clothing and accessories and some books.

Eileen, in the limo with some of the other women, feels like she offended LisaV. Bethenny is the first to arrive at the store, where Kyle says she thinks Bethenny might have offended Erika. Are you getting all this?

Kisses all around. Kyle and Eileen are discussing Erika’s alter-ego. For some reason, they’re all wondering why she’s also a disco queen or whatever, especially since she doesn’t need the money. Um…there are other reasons to be an entertainer. I get so wrapped up in looking at the store merchandise, I don’t know what they said.

It’s Bethenny’s book that’s being sold and she’s doing a signing. An aunt Kyle is close to, who reminds her of her mom, comes and gives her a cool old photo. Lisa arrives. Giggy! Oh, Ken is there too.

LisaR tells Bethenny about a weird exchange she had with Kim last season. She says she was Kim’s worst nightmare because she was like a mirror. By that, I assume she means she was honest with her. Eileen joins the conversation. Kyle and her aunt also discuss Kim. Lisa says she feels like there’s no resolution since she can’t talk about it without bothering Kyle, who isn’t speaking to Kim.

Kyle comes by and Bethenny tells her, in surprisingly diplomatic way, what they were talking about. Kyle says it does keep her up at night, but now it’s time to focus on having fun.

Giggy! Everyone is sitting down to dinner at Kyle’s and she forgot to set a place for Giggy at the table. How dare she? Eileen and LisaV start talking about how Eileen feels she offended Lisa, when all she was doing was explaining how she felt. Ken tries to interject, but backs off when Eileen says she was having a conversation with Lisa. Kyle says Lisa has a way of turning things around and making the person who she should be apologizing to say they’re sorry to her.

LisaV says Erika is getting a good picture of what goes on in listening to the various conversations. Erika says they talk about Brandi a lot and that they’re obsessed with her. I think they’re probably just trying to get over all the bad stuff she did and letting the feelings out that they couldn’t when she was around. LisaR says it was a difficult time with Kim. Kyle says it’s impossible to deal with because her stuff is out there for everyone to see. LisaV says she should figure out a way to protect herself.

LisaR says if Kyle knew how she really felt about Kim, she’d never speak to her again. She says the whole thing affected her greatly.

Erika says she got a text from Yolanda and hopefully, she’ll be coming home the next day. LisaR says that she hopes Yolanda is better but wonders what the blip it is making her sick. Kyle asks what Keeps LisaV up at night and Lisa fudges around and tries to be funny. Kyle says she wonders if Lisa doesn’t want to dig too deep. In her individual interview, Lisa says that there are things in the world that make her cry, but she doesn’t have any personal issues going on right now.

Eileen wonders why LisaV is so guarded. Erika says she thinks Lisa wants to get everyone else’s story but is guarded about her own. Eileen suggests they all tell something about themselves they’ve never told each other before. Eileen starts with saying she’d been in an abusive relationship. She had the crap beat out of her and no one would think someone like her would be dealing with an issue like that. She finally had her nose broken and made the decision not to go back. The ladies give her kudos and hugs. Eileen says she’s an ugly crier. In her individual interview, LisaV doesn’t understand why Eileen can be so open here and not when Lisa was asking her questions.

Kyle says it was an awesome weekend and that since no one had wine thrown at them, it was a 10. Erika says they’re a bunch of tough bitches.

Erika goes on her private plane to pick Yolanda up in Ohio. It looks pretty fancy inside that plane and Erika gets a little snippy with the attendant over a tea bag. On the other hand, since she’s the only one on the plane, what else does the attendant have to do? When Yolanda gets on board, Erika asks how David was, and Yolanda says he was a great nurse. She says the doctor never saw a person with as much leakage as hers. In her individual interview, Yolanda says the implants were pushing on her lungs and she took a deep breath for the first time in a long time. She tells Erika that the worst thing is that a lot of people thought she was crazy and they lacked compassion. She says she feels sorry for people who have no empathy for fellow human beings. In the interviews, Yolanda looks and sounds a million times better. I have no clue why someone didn’t steer her in this direction years ago.

Giggy! Faye Resnick is visiting Kyle. (Giggy isn’t with her, but there was a gratuitous shot before this scene.) Faye designed Kyle’s store and has done other work for Kyle’s family. Now she’s helping Kyle redesign her closet. Faye tells her she should reach out to Kim since she might regret it later. Kyle says she doesn’t know how to help her. Faye says just don’t close the door.

LisaV is hosting an event for the Hero Dog Awards at Pump. Giggy! The girls and more cute dogs, one of which is a Pekingese puppy, join the crowd. Kyle tries to get LisaV to hand over the Peke, but Lisa says no way. I’d hang on to him too. Kathryn, the other of the new BH Wives, arrives. She’s friends with LisaR, so they chat. Kathryn says she was never that ambitious of an actress, but we see pictures from her modeling days and she looks familiar.

Kathryn was married to Marcus Allen who was O.J.’s best friend, and there were rumors Nicole had an affair with him. LisaR brings it up and Eileen says she dated Marcus a few times. Kathryn is married to someone else now, a retired linebacker nine years her junior. LisaV comes up and Kathryn says she’s a huge supporter of Lisa’s charity and that she loves all animals, but especially dogs. LisaV says she likes dogs more than people. Me too.

Kyle wonders if Kathryn, who is sitting at another table, knows Faye. In her individual interview, Kyle says that Faye wrote about Marcus’s affair with Nicole while he was married to Kathryn, although he’s always denied it.

Yikes! All the ladies are fanning themselves and Kyle says it’s 105 degrees. No, no, and just no. Camille Grammer is there too. They start looking for tequila and move on to a bar. Kathryn joins them. She orders a vodka and soda and I wonder if the house vodka is a good brand or she doesn’t care. LisaR asks if Kathryn knew Yolanda back in the day, but Kathryn says she only saw her from afar. She says she was a lazy model.

LisaV arrives last. Eileen talks about how her sister loved Italy and was learning Italian when she passed away. She says she’s going to scatter some of her sister’s ashes in Italy. She hopes it will bring her more closure.

Kyle asks if Kathryn knows Faye, but Kathryn says she never met Faye. Kathryn says she never read Faye’s book, but she knew Faye had misjudged her. She says she didn’t hang out with that group and wasn’t married to Marcus that long.

Next time, Ken takes a lease on a sex shop and Eileen scatters her sister’s ashes. And Kathryn meets Faye. It doesn’t look pretty.

January 18, 2016 — GH, SUR in Hawaii & Some Chefs


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Sonny, Alexis and Christina are having lunch at the MetroCourt because no one cooks at home anymore. Alexis and Sonny are commending Christina on her great semester in school. She must want the floor to swallow her up right about now, and she deflects the conversation to Alexis’s wedding.

Sam knocks on Jason’s hotel suite and Elizabeth answers. Elizabeth acts like he’s there, and says they’re getting ready to go to bed. Then Jason comes up behind Sam with Jake and I laugh my head off.

Dante goes through the pictures of Johnny and Valerie, but I don’t think he’s buying what Johnny had wanted them to convey. He tells Jordan that he thinks there’s some connection between Johnny’s sighting and Valerie being MIA.

Valerie struggles against her bonds and knocks over a candle, which starts burning trash on the floor.  Lulu drives up, calling for Johnny. Valerie is still struggling, but apparently that candle is one of those trick ones, because now nothing is burning, and then we see the candle light everything up again. Hello? Editing department?

Sonny brings up Christina and Johnny, which was at a time when I wasn’t watching. Christina promises not to contact him and also promises not to marry Ryan Gosling, since she says there’s about as much chance of that. Sonny says his check for the next semester was returned uncashed.

Jake acts like the bad seed he is, insulting Sam, and Elizabeth acts like the good soul she’s not and tells him that’s rude. Jake goes to bed, and Sam tells Jason and Elizabeth about Dr. Sheinberg, and how he’s going to come forward. Elizabeth acts like she’s grateful that Sam got involved and Jason kills all her hopes by telling Sam he’s staying down the hall. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

Dante tells Jordan about the conversation with Dillon and how he saw Johnny. Jordan wonders why Johnny was in Lulu’s company as far back as Christmas. Dante says Johnny wasn’t necessarily in her company. Jordan wants to talk to Lulu, but Dante says he can’t get her on the phone. He shows Jordan the photos.

Lulu keeps beeping the horn, while the flames get closer to Valerie who is yelling her head off. As much as you can with a gag anyway.

Elizabeth asks Jason how Jake was when they were out. Jason says that he’s a kid and he wants things he can’t have. Elizabeth says she can’t stop thinking about what Jake went through with Helena. Jason says thanks to Sam he might be able to avoid jail. Jake pops in and says Sam isn’t as good as Jason thinks she is.

Alexis wonders why the check would be sent back. Christina makes up something about it being an electronic error and that other students got checks back. She tells Sonny to just give her the check and she’ll deliver it personally. She leaves to talk to Sam, and I don’t think Sonny or Alexis are believing her.

Jordan and Dante look at the photos. Dante judges the dates by what Valerie is wearing. Jordan says it looks like Valerie was on the take. Dante says he doesn’t believe that. Jordan says she doesn’t want to either, but he’d better figure out how to prove that’s not the case.

Lulu decides to leave, but sees the fire. She jumps out of the car and runs to the cabin. Don’t call 911 or anything.  No, that would be too easy. She goes inside and sees Valerie unconscious with flames dancing around her. Let her burn and all your troubles will be over. Just turn around now.

Jason and Elizabeth grill Jake about brushing his teeth. I ask again, how old is this kid??? Jason asks what Jake meant about Sam. He says she’s greedy and wants everything for herself. Jason says that’s not true and Jake says she broke the picture of their family.

Christina tells Sam her parents are being intrusive. Sam asks her what’s going on. Christina asks her not to tell her parents, and when Sam promises not to, she tells Sam she’s been suspended.

Alexis tells Sonny his clashes with Christina are probably because they’re so much alike. He seems to think there’s something going on, and suggests maybe she’s embarrassed having a father who didn’t finish school and is a crime lord. I suggest that if this was a problem, they would have known by now.

No progress has been made at the PCPD. Jordan asks Dante how he thinks Lulu might be involved. Bobbi comes in and Dante asks for her help. He tells her about the photos. Bobbi asks if they think Valerie is in cahoots with Johnny. Jordan says not necessarily, but both of them are missing. Bobbi says she knows Valerie wouldn’t throw in with Johnny and that if Valerie is missing, it’s probably foul play.

Lulu runs to Valerie. She puts her jacket over Valerie’s head and gets the ropes untied. Lulu tries to wake up Valerie, but no luck. She pulls her out of the chair and starts doing CPR. Is she not breathing or does Lulu think this is how you wake up an unconscious person? Lulu screams at Valerie to wake up. Finally, she sits up and Lulu gets her outside.

Dante and Jordan ask Bobbi if Valerie has been stressed lately. Bobbi says yes, but she was concentrating on her career. She says that Valerie was used to money being tight, but she was looking for a job and she wouldn’t have taken money from Johnny. Jordan says that’s it for now, but they might have more questions later. Jordan tells Dante this doesn’t explain the pictures

Elizabeth asks Jake if he saw Sam break the picture. He says no, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t do it. Ha-ha! Jason tells him he shouldn’t make up stories and that Sam didn’t break the picture. Jake asks how he knows that. He says he knows Sam and that she knows lies are a mistake and that they never take you where you want to go. Jake says maybe she didn’t break the picture, but she wants to steal his family. I still say that kid broke the picture himself.

Alexis says Christina loves Sonny and that if she’s irritated, it has nothing to do with him. At the bar, Christina says her last break up was bad and she skipped class for a while. By the time she went back, she was failing. She tells Sam that she didn’t tell her parents because she thought she could catch up, but it never happened. Sam says she should talk to her professor. Christina says she tried, but she didn’t ask him “the right way.” When Sam asks what she means, Christina says she asked him if there was anything else she could do to pass the class.

Jason lectures Jake on what a good person Sam is. Jake says that Sam is bad because she took Jason away from them. Elizabeth tells him to go to bed, but he says he can’t sleep. Jake goes wherever, and Jason tells Elizabeth they’re not going to panic, he’s going out to get ginger ale and he’ll be back later.

Christina adds that the professor is hot, and Sam assumes she slept with him. Sam gives her a run down on why this is a bad idea. Christina says she didn’t have sex with him, but she offered it. Instead of taking her up on it, the professor turned her in and she got suspended. This sounds ridiculous, and I seriously doubt it would happen in real life. Christina says she can’t tell her parents. Sam says she’ll ultimately have to.

Alexis and Sonny confer on what’s up with Christina. They rule out love life. Alexis tells Sonny that she has better communication with Christina and she hasn’t heard a peep. She also suggests that Sonny go back to school if he wants to speak Christina’s language and thinks it’s creating a wedge between them.

Dante tells Jordan being on the take isn’t like Valerie and she knows it. He says whoever sent the photos was setting her up. Jordan says if she was being set up, then by whom? Johnny doesn’t make any sense and who else would do it? Think hard, Dante.

Lulu and Valerie are outside. Lulu realizes she left her phone in her jacket inside the cabin. She wants to walk for help, but Valerie says they’re in the middle of nowhere and she’s going to freeze. And if they stay here, they have this huge fire to keep them warm. She really didn’t say that last part, but I thought it was funny.

Sam tells Christina she can’t wish the problem away, and that if she doesn’t tell her parents, Sam will. Christina says she’ll get a crappy apartment and work a crappy job and go back later. She also doesn’t want to burden Sonny with something else. She begs Sam not to tell and Sam relents. She gives Christina the keys to her place and tells her to keep it clean. She makes Christina promise to give her weekly updates and stay away from the professor.

Sonny tells Alexis that Julian is a snake. Alexis says they almost made it through a conversation without arguing about him. Sonny reminds her that Julian had Duke killed. Alexis leaves.

Christina gets a text from Parker. Who?

Jason comes into the bar and sees Sam. Jason explains about why Elizabeth is in his room. Sam says she appreciates it, but he doesn’t have to explain anything to her. He tells her about telling Jake how she searches for the truth. She says she wasn’t always that way; that he taught her to be like that. She leaves.

Jake asks Elizabeth if they’ll ever be together as a family again. She says anything can happen.

Dante keeps trying to get Lulu on the phone. He leaves a message saying he knows she’s in the middle of the Johnny/Valerie mess and wants to know what the blip is going on.

Valerie and Lulu huddle under a towel. I’m assuming the car won’t start? Even if that’s the case, why don’t they get into the car? At least their weather is on point with the real world. It’s freaking freezing out.

Tomorrow, Scotty is back! Valerie wonders how Lulu found her and Paul wonders how long before Ava disrobes.

Vanderpump Rules

After a plane ride I’m glad I wasn’t a passenger on, the gang arrives in Hawaii. It’s absolutely beautiful, and I can just imagine what a waste this trip is going to be on this group. Of course someone says they got laid when presented with a lei upon landing. Sigh.

The rooms are spectacular and the drinking begins immediately. That’s if it ever stopped. Lala tells Faith that James thinks he’s going to get with her, but he’s not. Ariana shows Tom a series of texts between Scheana and Ariana’s mother discussing Tom in a negative way with Scheana as the instigator.

More drinking before dinner. Max is still recovering from his surgery. Tom announces tomorrow’s activity, a hike with him as guide. There are also upcoming surf lessons. Ariana is stressing over the Scheana texts and isn’t fully enjoying herself. I guess I’d be pissed too.

Ariana makes a toast to the birthday boys, Tom and Jax, using the word “awesome” a lot. Lala has said PDA is James’s thing and she’s right. Jax says something stupid about people who aren’t here who should be and people who are there who shouldn’t be. Lala says Britney needs to “control her man” and I wonder what planet she’s from. What is wrong with that woman? An argument starts between James and Jax. A-hole awards all around.

More drinking. James is bending Max’s ear and complaining about Jax. The rest of the crowd joins them at a very NYC looking bar. Scheana says she and Shay are going to have alone time while everyone else is going on the hike. Tom brings up the texts. Scheana tries to act like it was Ariana’s mom who initiated the conversation, but Ariana got the texts straight from her mom. Tom reads them out loud. Scheana acts like she didn’t do anything wrong and says Tom has a superior attitude.

Ariana can’t figure out the motivation, but I’m wondering if it’s because they don’t want to be friends with Kristen. Tom says he’s been a stand up guy with them. Scheana says she sticks by her words, what’s done is done, and she’s going to bed. Tom tells Shay that if it was him, he’d be pretty angry too. If this was me, I’d ignore them for the rest of the trip and have a good time.

Giggy! Lisa is worried about Max. Aww, we see pics of Ken with Max as a baby. Lisa isn’t thrilled that James is on the trip because he’s erratic and unpredictable. I don’t blame her.

Katie has jet lag. Schwartz tells her he recreated Justin Bieber’s nakey pic on their balcony while she was sleeping. Yep, he did. And he Instagrammed it. Lisa sent them flowers and they give her a call. She asks how Max is doing and she tells them how worried she is. Katie says she’s as tough as a mother as she is as a boss. Lisa says she gets concerned when the bunch of them goes somewhere together. Again, I don’t blame her.

Scheana, who is totally disappointing me, is gossiping about Ariana and Tom to Jax.  Britney is tired of Lala flirting with Jax and says she’s going to talk to her.

The group, minus the Shays and Katie, goes on a hike. This is the kind of thing I would love. They go swimming in a place that has a waterfall. We flash back to some of Stassi’s birthdays and her control issues. Tom promises not to act like that. Lala and Faith take their tops off. Jax says he’s going to look, but the trick is looking without Britney seeing. Schwartz has the opposite reaction in that they’ve seen so many, it’s no big deal.

Scheana hopes Shay can master moderation on this trip because she can’t grasp that he should not drink at all. Don’t come whining to me when he disappears for days again.

The hikers stop at a clearing. Schwartz asks what’s up with Ariana and Scheana, and Ariana explains. Schwartz says he doesn’t think Scheana is right, but Tom has been a little snippy lately.

In the meantime, Scheana is telling Katie how she’s her best friend now, and Tom and Ariana act like they’re on a pedestal. Because we’re all 14.

Britney confronts Lala about having no respect for her and Jax’s relationship. Lala says she’s crossed the line flirting and she apologizes. She says she didn’t know they were together. Jax says no way he said that. Lala says at first she thought he was just leaving out details, but now she knows he’s a liar. This is true, but she’s also a sleazebag.

Jax goes humana-humana and Lala tells Britney she does respect relationships. In her individual interview, Lala says she could say a lot that Britney doesn’t want to hear, but sees no point, and Jax says he dodged a bullet.

James asks Max if he supposed to be drinking right now. Max says no, but James justifies it by saying it’s a disinfectant. Okay. Lisa calls Max to check up on him. He thinks he assuages her fears, but probably not. Lala and Faith join them and Lala tells James about Britney’s confrontation.

Schwartz tells Katie about their day and says he saw Lala’s boobs but didn’t look at them. Katie thinks it’s wrong for the girls to be taking off their tops around other people’s boyfriends and I agree. Schwartz tells her about the texts. Katie disagrees about Scheana being in the wrong and says Schwartz isn’t being supportive.

Even more drinking! This time it’s those drinks in pineapples. Ariana brings up Lala’s toplessness and says it wasn’t appropriate. Lala says she encourages every woman to go topless. Scheana says she totally understands Katie’s side, but what did she expect? Lala says what It really means is she doesn’t trust her man. Boys would probably be a more accurate description for the males in this group.

Now that she’s had a few pineapple drinks, Lala decides Britney should hear the truth . She takes Britney aside and tells her about Jax playing a part in their flirting, and that he said he wanted to get with her. Britney says she’s confused, since Jax has acted innocent. Britney tries to pin a little on Lala, but somehow Lala turns it around. Lala says she’s not going down with the ship anymore. Britney says she’s going to talk to Jax. Way to have fun on vacation. I don’t know who’s a bigger d-bag, Jax or Lala. Probably James will trump the both of them.

Britney takes Jax aside. I think he knows what’s coming. Britney tells Jax what Lala said. He repeats her words, which usually tells me that the person is thinking about what answer they’re going to fabricate. Jax says Lala was drunk and is just reaching. Britney calls Lala over. Lala insists she told the truth. Jax repeats that she was drunk and insists he never said it. Scheana sticks her nose into it, but says she didn’t really hear anything. In her individual interview, Scheana says she has her suspicions, but didn’t want to rock the boat. Lala starts getting animated and Jax continues to insist he did nothing. Lala says she’s only been honest and she’s done.

She walks away to be alone.

Next time, more drinking! Stassi and Kristen get together, and Jax gets arrested.

MasterChef Celebrity Showdown

If they rerun this, I highly recommend watching. As well as having celebrities compete, a trio of MasterChef winners compete against the final three from this season of MasterChef Junior, which includes my girl, Addy. Christine, winner of MasterChef’s season three, was also a favorite of mine, as she’s blind. Everyone was surprised that she ended up the winner, but it was logical to me, as I thought her other senses would be more keen. All of the entrants got a donation to their charity of choice, and the big winners get an extra donation.

Best of all, it’s food porn at its finest.

January 17, 2016 — A Potomac of Etiquette & Nene’s Return


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


The Real Housewives of Potomac

First up, Gizelle. She tells us Potomac is one of the most exclusive areas in the country and only pedigree or cash can get you in. Her father was big in the civil rights movement. She was married to Jamal Bryant who was a bigwig pastor and also a civil rights leader. Unfortunately, he was also a cheater, so she’s now divorced. She also has three young girls, and so far, everyone looks pretty normal.

Katie is next, meeting her boyfriend, Andrew, for lunch. He orders for her. Enough said. She has three kids under the age of three. Now really enough said. She wants to go to the Preakness, but Andrew wants her doing something to support his career. She mentions that she’d like to get married again. She can’t imagine why Andrew doesn’t want to marry such a great catch. I’m sure it won’t be long before I figure it out.

Robyn comes from a family of doctors and lawyers, but she’s in public relations because she’s not into a suit type job. Gizelle comes over. Robyn says Gizelle has a rocking sense of humor, but a lot of people in Potomac don’t get her. Robyn lives with her ex-husband, Juan, and they’re raising their kids together. While this isn’t unheard of, they also sleep in the same bed, so I’m not so sure how different this Is from being married, since she also says neither one of them is dating. Gizelle says they tried to get rid of Juan, but he only went to the mailbox and back.

Next is Karen. I can already tell from the previews that she’s a piece of work. She says her husband Raymond is the Black Bill Gates. She says money isn’t everything but she’s never met a happy poor man. Really? Has she ever left her yard?

Karen arrives at Gizelle’s house where she has a problem negotiating the steps in those sky high heels all the Wives wear. In her individual interview, Karen talks about her leadership position in the community. Her youngest daughter is getting ready to go to college and the ladies talk kids for a while. Gizelle says that anything you can do, Karen can do better. She says she also feels judged by Karen, but it comes with the territory.

Katie and Gizelle meet at a family restaurant that also has a burlesque show going on, which seems like an oxymoron or something. Robyn and Cherisse show up. Cherisse’s husband is some kind of coach and that’s how Robyn knows her. She’s also a good friend of Karen, in whose honor this luncheon is being thrown. There’s some disagreement about who should get the middle seat. As the honoree, etiquette dictates Karen should have it, but Gizelle isn’t budging, so Karen acts passive aggressive. Let me get this straight. You’re having a lunch at a burlesque house and you’re worried about the seating manners?

Cherisse’s husband travels a lot and she says it’s good with her. Sounds like a good way to keep the marriage going to me. They toast to Karen and the compliments flow along with the champagne. I gag because I’m sure these women don’t all love Karen. I certainly don’t.

Charisse is going to have a crab boil as another tribute to Karen, and needs Gizelle’s help with learning how to boil crab. Gizelle brings a stylist friend along, and apparently three or more people are needed for this operation. The second they open the bucket, all the crabs take off running. Can you blame them?

They’re not much better at this when they round up the crabs and get them inside. Why didn’t she just have this catered? When Charisse is getting dressed, Gizelle and friend look through her kitchen. Friend asks about the Coors Light in the fridge, as though rich people might not drink that. The two of them make so much noise, Charisse can hear them and starts to get annoyed.

Gizelle and friend goof around with the housekeeper. Charisse acts all indignant that these two are being playful. They start coming upstairs and she asks them to wait downstairs, threatening to kick them out. Her nose is so far up in the air, she must trip on sidewalk cracks a lot. Oh, wait. She probably travels by a sedan carried by servants.

Because Charisse is taking so long to get ready, Gizelle greets the guests. Karen arrives, annoyed that there’s no valet parking and she has to walk twelve feet. Gizelle talks about bringing her stylist and Karen is aghast that someone dares to hang out with the help. She also has some weird notion that Charisse shouldn’t have brought the help to help.

Karen brings up Charisse sitting in the center at her birthday. Oh brother. Karen says etiquette is everything and gives Charisse a framed set of etiquette rules. These are all rules that apply directly to this birthday lunch, which BTW, Karen was late to. This is possibly one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen on a Wives show and that’s saying a lot.

Some friend of Charisse’s goes running upstairs to tattle that Gizelle complained about her. Charisse is acting like Gizelle is being ghetto just because she’s acting like a normal person. Gizelle says she has a legacy and a pedigree and Karen comes from a farm. This is said during her interview segment, but I have the feeling she wouldn’t be afraid to say it to Karen’s face. Karen gets ridiculously wound up and offended, and walks away from Gizelle.

Next time, the girls take a vintage photo, try on bathing suits, and surf. It also looks like the drinking guns come out. This season, lots of shade and drama.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra and her boys are going to Washington DC to support the Million Man March. The boys are helping her pack, which basically means not helping. Phaedra is also meeting with some politicians for support with her organization, Save Our Sons. Porsha , Kim and Sheree are coming too. Does Porsha know what Washington DC is?

Todd and Kandi discuss opening a restaurant. Todd says Kandi has a fabulous book of recipes and they should share them with the world. Wouldn’t it be simpler to publish a cookbook? Todd wants to meet with the relatives about using the recipes.

Kenya continues to have work done on the money pit house. She’s behind her timeline, but now that she’s back from Detroit, she’s determined to get the project finished. Cynthia comes by the construction site and asks about the reunion. Kenya tells her about the better relationship with her father, but also about her mother’s snub. She also talks about her mother calling her Aunt Lori and then Lori leaving the reunion. Cynthia says she would have kicked the door down, but I think she’s being rude in saying that. You never know what you’d do in another person’s shoes. To her credit, Cynthia weeps a little with Kenya.

Kenya says she hasn’t spoken to her Aunt Lori and she hates the tension between them.

Phaedra gets a call from Apollo in prison, which sounds like the name of a band or B-movie. He talks to Aidan and Aidan tells him about their impending trip. Apollo tells him he needs to behave better in school, as he’d gotten a bad report. Phaedra says she tries to get Apollo on the phone with the kids as much as possible.

Congresswoman Wilson is a friend of Phaedra’s and has a program to help send young Black men to college. Phaedra is going to meet with her in DC as well. Phaedra has a team coming with her because it takes a village, but on the other hand, Kim likes to handle her own stuff, so she’s going to be juggling a couple of kids on the trip.

The ladies check out the House of Representatives and meet with the Congresswoman, who is wearing quite an outfit, including a sparkly red cowboy hat. She also has some kind of cool table runner with 3D giraffes on either side in her office. Phaedra asks to pick the Congresswoman’s brain. She’d better look out or she won’t have anything left when Phaedra is done. Porsha makes noises about wanting to learn about her heritage, but I’m guessing this is just a passing thought.

The Congresswoman starts talking about how America hates young Black men and I flash back to Michael Meyers’s face when Kenye West spouted off about President Bush and he looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him up. Kim excuses herself with her boys because she feels the topic is a little mature for her kids. Phaedra says she doesn’t want to “sugar coat” things with her sons, throwing shade at Kim. I toss it back, thinking, I suppose not, with dad in prison and all. Kim explains things to her kids in a more appropriate way in another room.

Aunt Lori comes over to Kenya’s, along with someone else (a cousin?). Lori says they want to talk to Kenya about something. They all sit down with a drink. Lori says she never wanted to be in the middle with Kenya in her mom. She says she loves Kenya, but she also loves her sister. Lori says Kenya’s mom was young when she had Kenya and had every right to give up her child. Kenya says she’s not judging her for that, but objects to her treatment of Kenya in later years.

Lori tells her “enough is enough.” Kenya says she saw her mother at family functions over the years where her mother talked to everyone else, but ignored her as though she didn’t exist. This sounds just incredibly bizarre. No wonder Kenya has issues. Kenya asks why Lori left the reunion. Lori says her sister had been alone when Kenya came by, was frightened by Kenya, and she should have called first. Kenya says it’s her mother. The cousin says something about it being a sensitive situation with the family. Lori says Kenya has no idea what went on behind the scenes and that it doesn’t matter what happened but it’s time to let it go and move on. Kenya says that when she left her mother’s house, it was like a dark cloud blew away. The cousin, who turns out to be Lori’s daughter, says Kenya can share her mother. It’s all good at the end of the meeting and everyone hugs.

Phaedra has put together a luncheon for the members of Congress who have helped her out. I barely know who my Congressman is, but she seems to know all these people personally. One of Kim’s kids starts screeching and she has to go. Sheree suggests that Kim should have brought a team. Kim says these activities are not for kids.

We flash back to Porsha thinking the Underground Railroad was an actual train. She’s come a long way. Maybe. Sheree goes out to the limo and suggests Kim come back in and not be disrespectful. Kim says she’s not; she’s trying to take care of her kids. Sheree is incredibly dense and seems to have forgotten what it’s like to have small children. Well, it was a long time ago. Bloop!

Kandi is having a family dinner to butter the relatives up about the recipe usage. Mama Joyce is loving on Todd who’s wondering who this woman is. Todd compliments all the women on their cooking and says he and Kandi were thinking about opening a restaurant. One of them is like, I’m not doing the cooking, but Kandi explains they would just be consultants. Aunt Bertha seems hesitant, but the others are liking the idea.

Phaedra and Porsha have room service. Phaedra says that Louis Farrakhan called her personally to be on stage during the march. The ladies get in some kind of limo bus and head for the march. Kim is leaving early for an event supporting lymphoma research, and both Phaedra and Sheree have a lot to say about that, just not to her face.

Phaedra introduces some mothers of murdered sons to the ladies. Porsha acts like she understands what’s going on.

Nene is coming to visit Cynthia. Interesting how the very person propelling her reintroduction is the same one she thought should be let go from the show on Watch What Happens Live. Cynthia tells Nene she can unblock her on social media now and everyone acts like nothing happened, although we get reminded with some flashbacks, including Cynthia burning their friendship contract.

Nene says she’s had the time she needed and now she wants to start a friendship again. Ugh! Does Cynthia understand what she’s getting into? It’s not like Nene has changed. When Cynthia says that she’s friends with Kenya, Nene makes a fish face. Cynthia brings Nene up to speed on the group.

Nene says the queen is back. But I don’t see RuPaul anywhere.

Next time, Phaedra makes plans to take the kids to visit Apollo and Kenya calls Kim a pretentious piece of tootie.