January 26, 2016 — GH, BH, Haves & Nots


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts & recaps on today’s TV)


General Hospital

The front page of the paper talks about the altercation between Olivia and the mayor over public breastfeeding. Sonny and Epiphany are checking it out. Epiphany asks if Sonny got a new doctor and he tells her she’s enough for him.

Lucas asks Julian if the story in the paper is true. Julian says yes, but Alexis has Olivia’s back. Julian asks if Lucas and Brad have set a wedding date.

Maxie and Dillon are checking out a shoot location. Maxie says Nina wants them to look at The Haunted Star as well, and Dillon brings up Johnny. He tells Maxie she did the right thing by telling Nathan right away. She says just telling a partial truth meant she also told a bunch of little lies and she doesn’t know what to do about that. Hmm…keep your mouth shut? Nathan comes by with some hot chocolate.

A reporter is asking Olivia why she didn’t just breastfeed in a room. She says she has a five-year-old son and she wouldn’t want him to see that. Apparently a lot of people are living in the dark ages in Port Charles. Dante tells Olivia he wishes he’d been here for her, but she says he had his hands full with Johnny. She says she doesn’t know why Johnny would have forced Lulu to help him since he once loved her.

Lulu asks for time alone with Johnny. It makes no sense, but because she’s Dante’s wife and was supposedly an injured party, she gets this privilege. Johnny asks her if she wants to make a run for it.

Lucas says they’re not planning on making it official any time soon. Julian tells him that he and Alexis are going to be married in a few weeks.

Sonny tells Epiphany she knows exactly how to push him. He says he’s done everything she told him and it’s time to take it to the next level. She says she’ll be the judge of that and what is he even talking about? He tells her to watch. He struggles, but finally stands on his own. Epiphany is thrilled and gives him a hug.

Olivia asks how Lulu and Valerie are and Dante says they’re both fine. Olivia says it was lucky Lulu found Valerie and she imagines it brought him and Lulu closer together. He says not so, they’re filing for divorce.

Johnny suggests he and Lulu go to Canada and start over. He says they should have done it a long time ago. He says he looks back and realizes that he made a mistake back then. Lulu says he sacrificed his freedom for her for nothing. She says that Dante figured out that Lulu helped him of her own free will and told her he hates Johnny, but Johnny has integrity which is more than Dante could say for her.

Nathan passes out the hot chocolate. Nathan says for Lulu and Maxie’s sake, he wants to make peace with Dillon. Nathan tells him he’ll need a permit for shooting, and tells him he should go to the station now. Dillon gets the hint that Nathan wants to talk to Maxie alone. When Dillon leaves, Nathan tells Maxie he knows she lied about Johnny.

Maxie says he’s right, she lied about some details, but she was trying to do the right thing and still protect Lulu. Nathan asks if she thinks it’s true that Lulu wasn’t a willing accomplice. When she doesn’t answer, he says he thinks Lulu went along with it too, but she’s his sister and Johnny is in jail, so he’ll leave it alone.

Olivia suggests Dante and Lulu work things out and stop letting it be all about Valerie. Olivia asks why Lulu would suddenly decide she wanted a divorce, and Dante says it’s him that does.

Lulu says she made a gigantic mistake that cost Johnny his freedom and Dante to want a divorce. Johnny says it’s probably for the better, that Dante betrayed her. She says Valerie helped her to see that the trouble with them started before she came along, and that they should have worked out a solution together, and now it’s too late. Johnny asks if there’s anything he can do to help and Lulu says maybe.

Epiphany asks how it happened. Sonny says he had a dream about someone who needed his help and when he woke up he felt focused, strong and hopeful. He says that’s what his people need him to be, and he said it was time to get his legs back. Epiphany says she’s not going to ease up on him and that she’s going to make it harder. Sonny tells her to bring it on. He also asks her not to tell anyone yet. She asks if he wants to hide his recovery because of business reasons.

Lucas is thrilled about Julian’s impending nuptials. He says Alexis has been good for him and he’s glad Julian is out of the mob business. He says he’s glad Julian won’t be a shooting statistic and Julian says he hopes Lucas is right about that.

Olivia thinks Dante is leaving Lulu for Valerie, but he says that’s not the case. She asks why he’s divorcing Lulu and he explains what really happened with Johnny.

Johnny says if it’s in his power, he’ll do it. Lulu thanks him for taking the fall for her. She says if he hadn’t lied, she could be going to prison too, and the thought of being away from Rocco for years would have killed her. She says now she has to figure out what happened to get her to such a low place. She wants her son to be proud of her and she wants that for Johnny too. She says there’s always been a tug of war inside of him between good and evil. He says the bad side won. She says he has a good heart and is capable of incredible generosity and kindness. She begs him not to join a gang in prison and to do something productive to get himself out and become a good guy who no longer has to hide. Lulu says he gave her a second chance and she wants that for him too. He asks if there’s a chance for them to be together too.

Nathan forgives Maxie. He says despite her covering for Lulu, he can trust her. She says she’s not so sure about that.

Epiphany says that it makes sense regarding his business, but what about Carly and the kids? Doesn’t he want to them to know he’s making progress? He says he knows what he’s doing. Epiphany says she does too, and she has patients who aren’t giving her nonsense and leaves.

Julian tells Lucas that some people aren’t willing to let bygones be bygones. He says being a father again, makes him want to stay on the straight and narrow. He asks Lucas to be his best man. Nathan says he’d love to.

Sonny stares at the door in an ominous way, although maybe this is just his thoughtful look. It’s hard to tell.

Nathan asks why he can’t trust Maxie. She says she told Lulu to go big or go home in fighting for her marriage and look what happened. Nathan says she didn’t make Lulu conspire with Johnny. Maxie says if she was in Lulu’s shoes, she would have done the same thing.

Dante says Johnny came back to town on his own, but Lulu put the Valerie plan in motion. He says she didn’t want it to get out of hand like it did, but she wanted Valerie out of the way. Olivia says her intention wasn’t to harm Valerie, but to help her marriage. Dante says she lied and Olivia brings up his own lies. He says one doesn’t cancel the other out and he wants to stay angry about it, proving once again what a moron he is. Olivia says when he’s angry he doesn’t have to feel the pain.

Johnny says he needs something to look forward to when he gets out. Lulu says she’ll always love him, but to take the mess she made for him and make something good for himself and not to change for anyone else. He says their New Year’s Eve kiss was a new and bright start to the year. Time’s up and the officer takes Johnny back to this cell. Orange is not a bad color on him. Lulu sits by herself crying and Dillon walks in.

Julian sees Sonny and asks if they can talk. He says Alexis told him what Sonny had said and he’s not interested in the mob life anymore. He says he’s starting over and he wants to make peace with Sonny. Sonny brings up some past stuff and Julian says they’re equally responsible for the animosity between them, but he’s asking man to man if they can let the past go.

Maxie says she couldn’t make Lulu see how much she had to risk. Nathan says ditto for Dante. Maxie says she’d never want to risk their relationship. Nathan says he doesn’t either and they hug.

Olivia says she’s not happy about it, but she understands and there are no easy answers. She says he’s her son and she’ll always be supportive, but she urges him to take some time before making any big decisions or signing any divorce papers. She leaves and Valerie walks in. Valerie asks how Lulu is. Dante says between Valerie leaving Lulu out of the equation (score one for her) and Johnny not saying anything, Lulu is in the clear. He tells her that they’re splitting up for real.

Dillon apologizes again for revealing Dante and Valerie’s affair. He says he also should have said something when he saw Johnny. Lulu says her problems are of her own making and asks if he’s there for further questioning. He says he’s there for a permit and that he hopes one day she can forgive him and he can really help her. She says he already started.

Sonny asks if Julian wants to be forgiven for putting a hit out on him. Julian says forgetting is more accurate, but he had nothing to do with Sonny getting shot. He says like it or not, their lives are connected. He says he doesn’t want his children to grow up without a father. Sonny says he might have Alexis fooled but they both know once you get in there’s no getting out. I guess mob business is like a roach motel.

Nathan suggests that he and Maxie trade their cold hot chocolate for a warm bed. Woo woo!

Dillon tells Lulu not to be so hard on herself and that everyone makes mistakes. He says they learn from them and try to do better. Lulu starts to cry and they hug.

Valerie says Lulu took her problems out on her, and that she’s not the cause of their problems, but she was a contributor. She wants to move on and says she doesn’t want anything to do with Dante anymore, not in a mean way, but she just can’t. She says good-by.

Julian asks Sonny if he ever wanted to escape and just have a life with his family. Sonny says of course, but he has a past and so does Julian. He says they can’t just wake up one morning and it’s gone, that everything can’t just be wiped away. Julian asks once more for Sonny to forgive him and for them to move on. Sonny totally steals a line from Machete and says maybe God can forgive Julian, but he can’t and he’s going to take Julian down for killing Duke. I don’t particularly like Julian, but Sonny is being an a-hole and had better watch his karma.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Julian he’s going to pay and Anna is hot on the Sabrrrina/Carrrlos trail.

The Haves and The Have Nots

After Warlock and Candace trip over Quincy’s dead body, Warlock asks her how she thought she could get away with it. He says he doesn’t care about anybody, but Candace is his girl. Her mother used to look after him. He tells her not to say she’s sorry and then asks for money. She says she doesn’t have any. He insists she does and she insists she doesn’t.

Warlock tells her she has a nice place. She says he can have it, but he says no thanks, he just wants money. I don’t know why she’s not telling him why she doesn’t have it. He gets out his gun and tells her she won’t feel anything. She begs him not to shoot her. He shoots.

He shoots past her and says he told her not to move. He says he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, and she made him look like a fool. He says she has four million dollars and he wants one and a half. She says okay, but says she doesn’t have it right now. He asks why and she finally tells him it was taken from her. He thinks she’s lying and he pulls off another shot. He says she’s a traitor and a liar and broke the code along with his heart. Quite poetic for a thug.

She tells him about Oscar and how he marked her. Warlock says she’s lying. Candace says she’s not, but she needs a week. He says on the eighth day, her ass is dead. She asks if he’ll help her move Quincy’s body and he says sure. She says the neighbor is watching everything she does. He then asks which favor she wants, to live for seven days or get help with the body. She wisely chooses the former. Warlock says he loves her. She says she loves him too. He wants another favor before he leaves and we’ll just leave it at that.

Wayatt doctors his pee test and gives it to the technician in the DA’s office. Jennifer tells him he can go home and she’ll call with the results. He asks about his parents and she says they’re okay. He asks if they’re getting out soon. She says she’s trying to keep them in until he gets out of the house. She suggests he stay in a hotel. He asks about the Harringtons and Jennifer asks if Jeffrey has a drinking problem since he was arrested for a DUI. Wyatt says no. She tells him she’ll let him know when his trust fund is released and he leaves after calling her an angel in his life. He is so clueless, it’s sad.

After Wyatt leaves, Jennifer’s assistant comes in with the paper. She’s not happy about the front page.

Jennifer asks the desk clerk where the paper came from. Maggie is there and tells Jennifer that David has been sprung. She asks why the judge would release David alone. Maggie says David had nothing to do with it. Jennifer says that David can’t be released. Maggie says if she doesn’t release David immediately, she’ll call the attorney general. Jennifer asks if she’d like to use her phone. Maggie asks how long it will be and Jennifer says as long as it takes.

The guard asks for Kathryn, saying the DA wants to see her. Veronica tells her not to say anything. She says Jennifer will try to entrap her. Kathryn says she’s not stupid. Veronica gripes about her phone call and the guard says they’re working on it.

Mitch and Benny are wrapping up the day at the tow yard. Benny says they cleared $1800. Mitch says if they keep doing well, they’ll need more employees. Benny says he wants Warlock to come in. Mitch says Warlock will bury them. Benny says he doesn’t understand, that Warlock had their backs when he and Candace were younger. His mother took care of Warlock as a child, and Warlock took care of them later financially. Mitch says Warlock doesn’t do anything for nothing.

Mitch says he doesn’t trust Warlock. He asks Benny why Warlock was looking for Candace and that he needs to keep an eye on things. Benny says funny, Warlock said the same thing about Mitch, but he trusts them both. Mitch says he’s going to be watching Warlock.

Kathryn tells the DA she’s represented by counsel and has nothing to say to her. Jennifer says she just wanted to talk to Kathryn and there’s a difference between a conversation and questioning. She says it’s off the books and Kathryn says she doubts it. Jennifer says she knew Kathryn’s father and that if it hadn’t been for his scholarship, she wouldn’t be the DA. Kathryn says he was a good man and helped a lot of people. Jennifer says that she was lucky, but about 45 of her colleagues had to sleep with him for their school money. She says up until now, a class-action suit against his estate was just talked about at parties. Kathryn says she’s trying to blackmail her. Jennifer says she’s trying to tell her to distance herself from Jim. They both talk about how being blindsided has its privileges and I don’t understand it. Kathryn says that a legacy has tentacles. She says a lot of people knew what was going on and that the town of Savannah is worth more than gold. She tells Jennifer that to take on the task she would have to divide air and she’ll wipe out everyone who needs that air to breathe. She says she wants her phone call and wants it now. Jennifer says they’re working on it and sends her back to her cell. Kathryn says maybe Veronica was right and Jennifer is a dumb bitch.

The officer gets Kathryn and Jennifer throws stuff around the room. Foiled! Ha-ha!

The guard tells Veronica to come now. They’re changing cells. Veronica insists on her phone call.  The guard says not right now and handcuffs Veronica. She says she’s taking them one at a time.

The guard deposits Veronica in her new cell. Jim and David are in the next cell and Veronica says it’s a set up. The guard acts ignorant. Veronica tells them not to say anything. Jim gets snarky. They make snide comments back and forth, ending with Jim making a comment about her hair.

Veronica asks David how he is. He says they all need to be quiet and quit giving the DA ammunition. Jim says, oh look, Veronica can take orders after all, and he and Veronica go back and forth again. Jim brings up the picture in the paper of Veronica and Benny. Veronica says she’s still angry at Jim putting his hands on her. Jim says, oh sorry, and David tells them to knock it off. Veronica gets pissed that he’s not defending her. Oh, here comes Jeffrey!

Veronica and David are pretty surprised to see him. David asks what they’re doing there and they ask him what he’s doing there. David asks what the charge was and he tells them a DUI and asks again why they’re there. Veronica asks Jeffrey what’s up with the DUI and Jeffrey says he’s guilty. Veronica says when they get out he’ll regret talking to her the way he is and he says she’ll regret everything she’s ever done to him. He says something about her and Benny and Jim is like, wow. Jeffrey asks if he should tell David or should she. Veronica says she’s having an affair and the picture was in the paper. She tells Jeffrey to go ahead and hurt David. He says she’s the one who hurt David. She says all he wants to do is Wyatt or any other guy. He says he wishes one was right here and he’d do it in her face. I literally lol.

David asks him who it is with Veronica in the picture. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know. Veronica says is he sure? Why isn’t David says maybe he’ll sleep with Maggie after all. Veronica says they’ll be even. He says they’ll be over. Jim asks David if he’s sure he wants him to call it off. Jim asks Jeffrey if he’s still gay. Jim says everyone knows it except his mother and she can’t control him out of it. Veronica says she’s seen what happens what happens when you try to control children – they get raped in prison or kill themselves. I go oooh! out loud. Jim says he knows she had Wyatt raped and David says just like how she got Quincy out of jail. Jim is like, what? David tells Veronica she’s sick. She says Jeffrey is still in love with Wyatt. Jeffrey says he’s going to do all he can to keep her in there and she’s an evil soul who doesn’t deserve to see the light of day – ever.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That was a very intense scene in a small space with no props. I’m exhausted. My mouth was hanging open through the whole thing. Well played, Tyler Perry.

Benny goes to Candace’s house. The neighbor waves from across the street. Candace comes out and says she doesn’t feel good. Benny insists on talking to her and she says let’s talk outside she needs the air. Benny says their mother is mad at him and she’s staying in a hotel and won’t come to his house unless Candace can tell him how she got the money for it. Candace says she’s tired and doesn’t want to do this right now. Benny says she used to tell him the truth. She says he has to go and he pushes his way inside.

He sees Quincy’s body.

Next time, Benny suggests they go to the police and David and Jim have a fistfight in the cell.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Ken and LisaV are looking for a restaurant space and go to a sex shop where Ken has taken a lease. Lisa says that even though she’s a supporter of many lifestyles, some of the stuff is weird even to her. She plays with some pink duck and can’t turn it off. Ken tells her they’re looking at the space, not the merchandise. They bicker about who is going to design it and Lisa says Pump was a huge endeavor that she doesn’t want to do again right now.

Lisa says she thought Ken wanted to wind down, but he says winding down is dying. He suggests Max as manager. Lisa wants to start enjoying life more in 10 years time and isn’t overjoyed with this venture.

Kathryn says she’s from Milwaukee and a Midwesterner through and through. She and her husband talk about a previous vacation and he calls Westminster “Westminister.” They go to a jewelry store. Her husband, Donnie, played in the NFL and invested wisely, so they can afford a lot of cool stuff. The jewelry is in the millions, and he tells her to get what she wants, but remember they’re also renovating a kitchen. She decides the kitchen is more important, but says eventually she’ll get the jewelry.

Kyle calls LisaV. She wants to have a barbeque. Faye is going to be there, but Kyle also likes Kathryn and hopes there isn’t a conflict.

Eileen and family are going to Italy where she’s going to sprinkle her sister’s ashes. Vince plays a joke on her, putting one of the kids in a suitcase. Her sister was a single mom and she helped raise her niece who is like a daughter to her. She will also be coming on the trip.

LisaR is meeting Kathryn for lunch. They’ve known each other for a while. They talk plastic surgery, Kathryn’s old modeling days and how they palled around. They agree to have lunch again.

Kyle meets Faye at a furniture store. Faye is redecorating Kyle’s closet. Kyle says Faye is like a family member. Kyle tells Faye that she invited Kathryn to the barbeque. Faye says she doesn’t want to discuss any O.J. business with anyone. She says she’s never going to get into a conversation about Nicole and the past. I’m shocked when Kyle mentions that it was over 20 years ago. My heart.

Eileen and the gang are in Italy. She and Vince are going over plans for the trip. Eileen says her sister’s ashes are a priority. Her sister hadn’t let anyone know she was terminally ill and it’s still very difficult for Eileen. She feels guilty that they didn’t do anything for her even though it was her decision not to tell them. She says it’s a way of honoring her sister and getting rid of the guilt. She goes to some gorgeous place on the water, says good bye and scatters the ashes. She says that her sister helped raise her since she was 12 years older. I can identify since my sister is 10 years older.

Kyle is getting ready for the barbeque which looks pretty fancy for a barbeque. She’s having it catered because she’s tired of being in the kitchen all the time instead of with her guests. I can identify here too.

Kathryn visits LisaV. She says the house is fabulous, but there’s a lot of swan poopy around. They have tea, and Lisa grills Kathryn on her home life. I love Lisa, but she sure is nosy.

Yolanda arrives at the barbeque and also thinks it’s fancy for a barbeque. Erika says she shows up in barbeque-wear and Kyle is in an evening gown. Kyle also isn’t barbequing any food, so I agree when she says she should stop using that word. Everyone says the same thing when they come in, so I won’t belabor the point.

LisaR is a little uncomfortable with Yolanda because of her questioning Yolanda’s illness. Yolanda isn’t into being negative and ignores any friction between them. Yolanda schools the ladies about toxins in everything. LisaV and Kathryn are the last to arrive. Kathryn says she knew it was inevitable that she run into Faye at some point because she’s close with Kyle. She’s not too happy because Faye portrayed her as a doormat in her book when she’d never met her. She doesn’t strike me as the doormat type. She says she doesn’t want to start a fight, but she’s not going to roll over and play dead either.

Kyle is in the unenviable position of introducing Kathryn and Faye. LisaV says Faye was a bitch to her at her 30th anniversary and she hasn’t spoken to her since. She wishes she’d gotten a heads up. Kathryn and Yolanda talk about their old modeling days. LisaV and LisaR confer inside at the bar. And here comes Faye.

LisaR brings up the altercation between Faye and LisaV. For what reason, I don’t know. Just because she has no filter I guess. Faye says she has no hard feelings and wants to move on. In her individual interview LisaV says she loves women who have a pop at you and then want to move on. I hear her. LisaV says fine. Yolanda has to jet early and LisaR is glad they didn’t have to talk about anything heavy.

They sit down to lunch and Kyle’s Golden Retriever jumps all over LisaV with his ball in his mouth. Of course Lisa doesn’t mind and everyone is like, awww. Kathryn is seated across from Faye which is not so awww.

They talk about Yolanda and how much better she seems. LisaR starts talking about the confusion with her posting the sick and happy Instagram pics and they get into that conversation again. Erika says Yolanda would be pissed to hear it. LisaR says she intends to discuss it with Yolanda, which we’ve heard a few times now. Stop it, Lisa! Kyle asks about Yolanda’s kids who have Lyme disease. LisaV says that Mohammad clams he doesn’t think they have it, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of all of it. Kyle keeps pumping (no pun intended) LisaV for information. Erika looks more and more annoyed, and finally they move on.

They talk about LisaR posing for Playboy and we flash back to the dinner party from hell and Camille calling Faye “the morally corrupt Faye Resnick.” Kathryn talks about Faye writing the book and posing for Playboy and having her fifteen minutes. Kathryn says she was in the book and don’t talk about her if you don’t know her. She says she never read it though. Erika says if she was going to confront someone about writing about her, she’d read what they wrote.

Kathryn says she’s been thinking about confronting Faye for 20 years. Suddenly, Erika tells Faye she wants to address the elephant in the room. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Kathryn says she never met Faye before, but she’d be a phony if she didn’t say anything. She associates herself being brought into the O.J. stuff with Faye and says that Faye is the only one who dragged her into it. Faye says she has nothing to say about something that happened over 20 years ago. She says there isn’t much to discuss. Kathryn says she wants to address it. Faye says it was nothing pejorative and asks if Kathryn feels better. Faye says it was an uncomfortable time in all of their lives and it should be discussed in private, if at all. She says that if she offended anyone she’s sorry. Kyle pipes up about what a good girlfriend Faye is. Kathryn says obviously Faye wants to move on and she didn’t get the satisfaction she wanted.

Next time, some weird party where the women are wearing top hats and LisaR finally talks to Yolanda. Faye also seems to be bucking to be a permanent addition.

Recommendation: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce

This is a clever and genuine look at divorced life. A kind of Sex and the City for a slightly older crowd. The characters are diverse and believable, and while the plots are somewhat exaggerated (as with any drama), they’re both touching and fun.

I’m glad Bravo has branched out into some scripted shows. I also love Odd Mom Out. That surprised me since I thought I wouldn’t relate, but there’s someone for everyone to identify with and the show is very New York-ish.

Bravo, Bravo!

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