Monthly Archives: January 2016

January 19, 2016 — GH, BH & the H & HN


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Anna and Robert meet at the MetroCourt for a meal. Seriously, does no one eat at home anymore? They talk about missing Robin, but Anna says she knows Robin made the right choice. She tells Robert she’s concentrating on work now and she’s going to take Paul down.

Olivia sees Ava with Avery. Ava is looking for the Mommy & Me yoga class. Olivia, who is headed for the same class, makes some rude remarks and says she’ll take the service elevator.

Jordan and Dante and looking at speed cameras to see if they can figure out where Valerie is. Andre brings Jordan some coffee. She says she’s sorry she missed their dinner date, but it was because of Valerie’s disappearance. He says his ego is safe then. I love Andre. He’s all kinds of cool.

Maxie runs in and asks Dante if she’s heard from Lulu. She sees the picture of Valerie with Johnny.

Valerie and Lulu apparently did spend the night in the car and survived. They get out and do some jogging moves to get warm. Valerie thanks Lulu for saving her, but then asks how she knew where to go. She asks if Johnny and Lulu set her up.

Johnny has been apprehended. Jordan asks him where Valerie is.

Anna fills Robert in on the chain of DAs before Paul. She questions whether Mayor Lomax should be in office and says it should have been Felicia. I have some vague recollection of Nicholas being involved with the election fix.

The mayor and Paul discuss focusing their efforts on Sonny. Mayor Lomax says Sonny is a Teflon Don who nobody has been able to nail yet. Paul asks if he should back off, but she says no, just be smart. The mayor notices that Anna and Robert are there.

Dante gets Johnny alone and shakes him down about Valerie. Johnny asks why he cares, which hits a nerve. Nathan says Johnny is his collar, so he needs to take him for questioning.

Lulu tells Valerie she saw the fire from the road. Valerie says Johnny made a phone call to someone to bring his bag and the last thing he told her was that someone would find her. Lulu says she sounds paranoid and Valerie says Lulu sounds guilty. She adds that this begins and ends with Dante.

Jordan tells Johnny that if Valerie gets hurt, he’s going to regret it. He says he’s been read his Miranda rights and until his attorney gets there, he’s not talking. On cue, Scotty comes in and Johnny is like, no way.

Ava sees Olivia at the bar and asks if anyone turned in a toy Avery dropped. They did and Avery gets her giraffe back. They talk a little about babies and yoga, which weirds me out since there was such animosity five minutes ago. Ava leaves and Mayor Lomax approaches Olivia about hosting an event at the hotel.

Paul says hello to Robert and asks what brings him back to Port Charles. Robert laughs about Paul becoming DA and Paul says he owes it all to Anna. He says together they’ll eradicate organized crime. He asks Robert if there’s anything he should know in a professional capacity.

Johnny says having Scotty as an attorney is a conflict of interest. Scotty says Johnny was involved with the death of his son. Jordan asks if Johnny can afford his own attorney, and he says he wants a public defender. Jordan says none is available right now, so all he’s got is Scotty. She says either Johnny talks or he’s going into the slammer. Scotty tells him not to answer the first question. Honestly, a real PD would not have him standing in as Johnny’s attorney. I don’t mind suspension of disbelief while watching a show, but sometimes GH stretches it a little too far.

Lulu says she was driving to clear her head. Valerie says she’s lying and there’s no way the fire could have been seen from the road. Valerie has finally put two and two together and realizes she was set up. She says she didn’t know Johnny and he had no reason to kidnap her. Valerie keeps going on and on, asking if Lulu wanted her killed, and Lulu finally lets it slip that she just wanted Valerie away from Dante.

Anna tells Paul that she and Robert have more in common than the WSB, and Robert is here on family business. Paul says he admires that, since he and Tracy can barely have a civil conversation. He says he’d just been commending Anna to the mayor, and hopes to see Robert again.

Olivia and the mayor are going over the event menu. Leo starts fussing and Olivia begins to breastfeed. The mayor freaks out like she’s never seen or heard of such a thing. Really?

Paul isn’t buying that the meeting between Anna and Robert was just quality time between exes. Ava comes to his door and says she has something for him. I’ll bet.

Johnny insists he didn’t contact anyone in Port Charles. Jordan says they’ll interrogate everyone he knows if he doesn’t speak up. He says if that includes Maxie, even though she turned him in. Scotty keeps telling him to shut up, but he says that no one helped voluntarily and he threatened Lulu to get her to help him.

Valerie and Lulu go back and forth. Valerie says Lulu’s marriage was a three-way train wreck: her, Dante and Lulu. She says that what happened with Johnny was way out of line. Lulu says she only wanted her to stay away from Dante. Valerie says she’s so stupid that she didn’t realize what she had and still does. Valerie smacks her and they both start to go at it. Dante suddenly arrives.

Dante asks what’s going on. Valerie says Lulu tried to kill her. When Lulu says Valerie hit her first, Valerie says that she’s not talking about that. Lulu says Valerie is making stuff up, but Dante tells her to shut up. Valerie tells Dante about how Johnny set her up. An officer arrives to deal with the crime scene and Lulu freaks a little because her phone is in there.

Johnny says he told Lulu if she didn’t help him, he’d hurt her family, but he didn’t really mean it. He says he didn’t target Valerie, but they’d run into each other when her car broke down, and he thought it would be a good idea to have a rookie in his pocket and bribed her, but later she relented and he left her in the cabin.

Paul tells Anna that there’s another reason Paul is interested in her, and that Paul has the hots for her. Robert says that’s her way in and a way to bring Paul down.

Paul tells Ava that they weren’t supposed to see each other publicly. She says she thought their next exchange should be made in private and shows him a painting that she invested the proceeds from the gun sale in. She asks if he’d like her to stay and he says suit herself. They kiss.

The mayor says that breastfeeding should be done in private. Olivia says when her baby is hungry, she’s going to feed him. The mayor threatens her with public indecency. The mayor who has never been on the internet or even read a recent newspaper. Olivia tells her that breastfeeding isn’t illegal. The mayor continues on about how breastfeeding in public is indecent, and Olivia suggests that the last time she was half-naked, it was probably the stone age.

Ava and Paul are basking in the afterglow. That was fast.

Anna says they’ll be wearing overcoats in hell before she seduces Paul. Robert says she doesn’t have to do all that, but she could warm up to him a little. Anna says that he’ll get suspicious if she’s suddenly friendly. Robert says Paul isn’t fit to shine her shoes , but he’s an egoist who doesn’t know that. He tells her to worry about Paul and he’ll take care of Carrrlos. He has an expert who might be able to give him some insights as to where Carrrlos and Sabrrrina might be.

Andre and Jordan flirt. He tells her congrats about Johnny, and that he’s going to continue to try and get a third date out of her. She tells him the power jaguar is working.

Lulu and Valerie are at the hospital. Valerie leaves for an examination. Lulu tells Dante she can explain, but he says that’s not possible.

Ava says art, sex and money is the basis for their relationship. Paul wants her to make some inquiries in regard to the next shipment. She asks some questions, but Paul says it’s better if she doesn’t know.

Anna says she feels like this is her last chance to get justice for Duke. The doorbell rings.

The mayor acts like a huge jerk. Olivia wonders why it’s mostly women who have a problem with public breastfeeding. I can hazard a guess as to why men don’t, but the mayor says it’s because women don’t want to have to explain things to their kids, and that Olivia is not only being indecent, she’s annoying a public official.

Dante says he made a huge mistake that destroyed half of them as a couple and now Lulu finished the job. He tells her what Johnny told them and says he might hate Johnny, but at least he has a shred of decency. He goes to check on Valerie. Maxie arrives, and Lulu collapses in her arms, crying.

Tomorrow, Doc is back and Olivia has an emergency.

BTW, I knew I recognized the mayor, who is now a different actress. It’s Shari Belafonte and she looks amazing!

The Haves and the Have Nots

The “dead” Quincy grabs Candace’s ankle. He begs her to call an ambulance and she says no. He tells her to remember he loves her. She says she remembers her own begging for an ambulance when he broke her jaw. She remembers him pimping her out too, and she asks if he really wants her to remember anything. She tells him she’ll never help him and that no one is going to miss him. She says she’s going to sit there and wait for him to die. She’s cold, but I don’t blame her.

The cop (I wish they’d say his name) brings Jeffrey to some isolated place and pats him down. He starts asking Jeffrey questions about Candace. The cop says Candace told him Jeffrey was gay and he can’t stand “queers.” Methinks he’s a closet case. He asks if Jeffrey wants him and Jeffrey says no, but he says he can see it in Jeffrey’s eyes. He says Jeffrey makes him sick and tells him to get back in the car. What that was all about, I have no clue.

Ohhh, wait. He’s getting in the back seat with him. I know what this is about now. He asks Jeffrey what he likes to do with guys. The cop uses the word “fellatio,” which I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use IRL. Just as it’s about to get dicey, the cop gets a radio call asking if he’s picked Jeffrey up and that the DA needs to talk to him. He says he’ll be there in five minutes and orders a tow truck for Quincy’s car.

The cop tells Jeffrey that what Jeffrey was about to offer him was illegal, says he could bring him up on more charges and tells him he’s disgusting. The cop gets back in the front seat and drives to the station.

Quincy continues to beg Candace to help him and says they have a son together. She says he never cared about that before. Quincy says if she doesn’t get an ambulance, he and her son will both die. He says their son needs medicine. Both Candace and I have no idea what he’s talking about and he won’t elaborate unless she gets him some help. Candace tells Quincy his son is better off with him dead.

Quincy says when she finds her son dying to remember she let him die. Candace tells him good-by and to rest in hell. Exit Quincy.

Back in Quincy’s neighborhood, which has the cleanest looking graffiti I’ve ever seen, some guy asks Quincy’s sister (Queen) if she’s seen him. She says no, so the dude suggests she trace his phone. They have a discussion about a job coming up and some money. She says Quincy is going to want his cut. I don’t think Quincy cares about his cut anymore.

Judge Marx comes in to congratulate DA Jennifer on collaring Jim. She wants the judge to sign off on Wyatt’s trust fund. She says if they can’t get him to leave the house, they won’t be able to get him to testify. The judge signs the paper and says they’re rooting for her.

Tony and his girlfriend show up at the tow yard. Benny is on the phone and he’s obviously very busy. Tony tells his girl to answer the phone. Benny asks Tony if he’ll work for him. Tony wants to know how Benny got the tow yard in the first place. Tony says Candace must have hooked him up. He’d run into her and she said she came into some money. Benny asks if he knows how she got it, but Tony says no. Tony says he’s a thug, and Benny says it’s time to go legit.

Enter Mitch. Tony and Mitch start arguing. Benny tells them to chill and says that he needs some help. Mitch wants to know how Benny got the tow yard, since he said he had no money. Benny explains that his sister got it for him. Tony looks seriously puzzled. Benny says however she did it, she paid for it and it’s all on the up and up. Benny says just because it’s bought and paid for doesn’t mean it will pay the bills, and he needs their help. Tony asks where Candace is now.

Hanna calls the front desk. She wants to stay another night, but doesn’t have the cash. She asks if she can do some work for them, but the desk clerk says they have all the help they need. Hanna calls the social worker, who says she’s been trying to get ahold of Hanna. She asks what happened to Hanna’s house. Hanna says there was a fire and she and Quincy Jr. are staying at a hotel. The social worker says that’s not a stable environment and she’ll have to pick him up. Hanna asks if she can wait until Monday evening. She says she’ll give Hanna until 3 on Monday. Geez, I guess they don’t give much leeway.

Quincy Jr. Is awake and says he doesn’t feel good. He says he’s hot and Hanna says he doesn’t seem to have a fever. He asks when they’re going home and says he needs his medicine. Hanna asks what he’s talking about. He says he doesn’t know, but it makes him feel better. Hanna says the hospital didn’t say he needed anything, but she’ll check with them in the morning.

Maggie’s assistant, Landon, has given the story she wanted to the press. She gets a call and sets up an emergency hearing for David. Landon asks what’s up with that, and she says David is being released. Landon says he doesn’t feel good about it, and Maggie says good thing he’s not her then.

The clerk at the police station calls Jennifer and says Jeffrey is coming in. Jennifer says to keep him there. The clerk (Sally) says that won’t be a problem since he just got arrested for a DUI. Jennifer asks Sally to arrange three empty cells together and put Jeffrey in the middle one. After some discussion in which we hear that Sally wouldn’t have her job without Jennifer’s help, Sally says she’ll see what she can do. She also tells Jennifer to check her email. When Jennifer does, she sees the press release. Jennifer tells Sally to get copies of the paper and make sure Jeffrey and the others see it.

Nameless cop brings in Jeffrey. Sally looks nervous as all get out.

Wyatt’s doorbell rings. Pete the drug dealer is at the door and Wyatt asks if he has what Wyatt asked for. He says yes, but where’s the money? Wyatt says he has jewelry and the dealer says he’s not a pawn shop. Wyatt says he has no cash, but Pete says he’ll take a credit card. They take Visa now? Man, I am out of the loop. Wyatt hands over some credit cards and Pete gives him a kit to pass a drug test, along with a bag of heroin. Wow. This is some service. Pete says he’s not giving him everything until he has the cash. Wyatt says he’s getting a $12 million inheritance and asks if Pete wants to be replaced after he gets it. Pete says it’s $80 grand worth and the guy he got it from will kill both of them if he doesn’t get paid, so Wyatt had better come up with the money. Pete says let’s share a hit for old times’ sake.

A newspaper is tossed into Kathryn and Veronica’s cell. Kathryn looks at it first and gives it to Veronica, asking if she had an affair. There’s a picture of her with Benny on the front page, but only Veronica’s face can be seen. Veronica immediately knows Maggie did it to get to David. She tells Kathryn that Maggie told her as much. Kathryn says she gave Maggie the ammunition and asks who it is in the picture with her. Veronica gets testy and then apologizes, but says she can’t talk about it there because the walls have ears. Kathryn asks if she thinks David has seen it and Veronica says he’s probably seeing it right now.

Yep. Jim asks David if Maggie wants him to run for governor instead of him. He says he understand why Maggie would want to separate the two of them, but why would she want to separate David and his wife?

I think Quincy is dead now. I think. There’s a knock at Candace’s door. It’s Tony. He asks to come inside, but she says it’s late and wants to talk outside. He forces his way in and shakes her down about giving the money to Benny. He pushes her down the hallway and the two of them practically trip over Quincy’s body. This should be good.

Next week, Maggie demands David be let out and Veronica claims she was raped.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle is opening her pop-up shop in the Hamptons. It’s a very cute store. Clothing and accessories and some books.

Eileen, in the limo with some of the other women, feels like she offended LisaV. Bethenny is the first to arrive at the store, where Kyle says she thinks Bethenny might have offended Erika. Are you getting all this?

Kisses all around. Kyle and Eileen are discussing Erika’s alter-ego. For some reason, they’re all wondering why she’s also a disco queen or whatever, especially since she doesn’t need the money. Um…there are other reasons to be an entertainer. I get so wrapped up in looking at the store merchandise, I don’t know what they said.

It’s Bethenny’s book that’s being sold and she’s doing a signing. An aunt Kyle is close to, who reminds her of her mom, comes and gives her a cool old photo. Lisa arrives. Giggy! Oh, Ken is there too.

LisaR tells Bethenny about a weird exchange she had with Kim last season. She says she was Kim’s worst nightmare because she was like a mirror. By that, I assume she means she was honest with her. Eileen joins the conversation. Kyle and her aunt also discuss Kim. Lisa says she feels like there’s no resolution since she can’t talk about it without bothering Kyle, who isn’t speaking to Kim.

Kyle comes by and Bethenny tells her, in surprisingly diplomatic way, what they were talking about. Kyle says it does keep her up at night, but now it’s time to focus on having fun.

Giggy! Everyone is sitting down to dinner at Kyle’s and she forgot to set a place for Giggy at the table. How dare she? Eileen and LisaV start talking about how Eileen feels she offended Lisa, when all she was doing was explaining how she felt. Ken tries to interject, but backs off when Eileen says she was having a conversation with Lisa. Kyle says Lisa has a way of turning things around and making the person who she should be apologizing to say they’re sorry to her.

LisaV says Erika is getting a good picture of what goes on in listening to the various conversations. Erika says they talk about Brandi a lot and that they’re obsessed with her. I think they’re probably just trying to get over all the bad stuff she did and letting the feelings out that they couldn’t when she was around. LisaR says it was a difficult time with Kim. Kyle says it’s impossible to deal with because her stuff is out there for everyone to see. LisaV says she should figure out a way to protect herself.

LisaR says if Kyle knew how she really felt about Kim, she’d never speak to her again. She says the whole thing affected her greatly.

Erika says she got a text from Yolanda and hopefully, she’ll be coming home the next day. LisaR says that she hopes Yolanda is better but wonders what the blip it is making her sick. Kyle asks what Keeps LisaV up at night and Lisa fudges around and tries to be funny. Kyle says she wonders if Lisa doesn’t want to dig too deep. In her individual interview, Lisa says that there are things in the world that make her cry, but she doesn’t have any personal issues going on right now.

Eileen wonders why LisaV is so guarded. Erika says she thinks Lisa wants to get everyone else’s story but is guarded about her own. Eileen suggests they all tell something about themselves they’ve never told each other before. Eileen starts with saying she’d been in an abusive relationship. She had the crap beat out of her and no one would think someone like her would be dealing with an issue like that. She finally had her nose broken and made the decision not to go back. The ladies give her kudos and hugs. Eileen says she’s an ugly crier. In her individual interview, LisaV doesn’t understand why Eileen can be so open here and not when Lisa was asking her questions.

Kyle says it was an awesome weekend and that since no one had wine thrown at them, it was a 10. Erika says they’re a bunch of tough bitches.

Erika goes on her private plane to pick Yolanda up in Ohio. It looks pretty fancy inside that plane and Erika gets a little snippy with the attendant over a tea bag. On the other hand, since she’s the only one on the plane, what else does the attendant have to do? When Yolanda gets on board, Erika asks how David was, and Yolanda says he was a great nurse. She says the doctor never saw a person with as much leakage as hers. In her individual interview, Yolanda says the implants were pushing on her lungs and she took a deep breath for the first time in a long time. She tells Erika that the worst thing is that a lot of people thought she was crazy and they lacked compassion. She says she feels sorry for people who have no empathy for fellow human beings. In the interviews, Yolanda looks and sounds a million times better. I have no clue why someone didn’t steer her in this direction years ago.

Giggy! Faye Resnick is visiting Kyle. (Giggy isn’t with her, but there was a gratuitous shot before this scene.) Faye designed Kyle’s store and has done other work for Kyle’s family. Now she’s helping Kyle redesign her closet. Faye tells her she should reach out to Kim since she might regret it later. Kyle says she doesn’t know how to help her. Faye says just don’t close the door.

LisaV is hosting an event for the Hero Dog Awards at Pump. Giggy! The girls and more cute dogs, one of which is a Pekingese puppy, join the crowd. Kyle tries to get LisaV to hand over the Peke, but Lisa says no way. I’d hang on to him too. Kathryn, the other of the new BH Wives, arrives. She’s friends with LisaR, so they chat. Kathryn says she was never that ambitious of an actress, but we see pictures from her modeling days and she looks familiar.

Kathryn was married to Marcus Allen who was O.J.’s best friend, and there were rumors Nicole had an affair with him. LisaR brings it up and Eileen says she dated Marcus a few times. Kathryn is married to someone else now, a retired linebacker nine years her junior. LisaV comes up and Kathryn says she’s a huge supporter of Lisa’s charity and that she loves all animals, but especially dogs. LisaV says she likes dogs more than people. Me too.

Kyle wonders if Kathryn, who is sitting at another table, knows Faye. In her individual interview, Kyle says that Faye wrote about Marcus’s affair with Nicole while he was married to Kathryn, although he’s always denied it.

Yikes! All the ladies are fanning themselves and Kyle says it’s 105 degrees. No, no, and just no. Camille Grammer is there too. They start looking for tequila and move on to a bar. Kathryn joins them. She orders a vodka and soda and I wonder if the house vodka is a good brand or she doesn’t care. LisaR asks if Kathryn knew Yolanda back in the day, but Kathryn says she only saw her from afar. She says she was a lazy model.

LisaV arrives last. Eileen talks about how her sister loved Italy and was learning Italian when she passed away. She says she’s going to scatter some of her sister’s ashes in Italy. She hopes it will bring her more closure.

Kyle asks if Kathryn knows Faye, but Kathryn says she never met Faye. Kathryn says she never read Faye’s book, but she knew Faye had misjudged her. She says she didn’t hang out with that group and wasn’t married to Marcus that long.

Next time, Ken takes a lease on a sex shop and Eileen scatters her sister’s ashes. And Kathryn meets Faye. It doesn’t look pretty.

January 18, 2016 — GH, SUR in Hawaii & Some Chefs


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Sonny, Alexis and Christina are having lunch at the MetroCourt because no one cooks at home anymore. Alexis and Sonny are commending Christina on her great semester in school. She must want the floor to swallow her up right about now, and she deflects the conversation to Alexis’s wedding.

Sam knocks on Jason’s hotel suite and Elizabeth answers. Elizabeth acts like he’s there, and says they’re getting ready to go to bed. Then Jason comes up behind Sam with Jake and I laugh my head off.

Dante goes through the pictures of Johnny and Valerie, but I don’t think he’s buying what Johnny had wanted them to convey. He tells Jordan that he thinks there’s some connection between Johnny’s sighting and Valerie being MIA.

Valerie struggles against her bonds and knocks over a candle, which starts burning trash on the floor.  Lulu drives up, calling for Johnny. Valerie is still struggling, but apparently that candle is one of those trick ones, because now nothing is burning, and then we see the candle light everything up again. Hello? Editing department?

Sonny brings up Christina and Johnny, which was at a time when I wasn’t watching. Christina promises not to contact him and also promises not to marry Ryan Gosling, since she says there’s about as much chance of that. Sonny says his check for the next semester was returned uncashed.

Jake acts like the bad seed he is, insulting Sam, and Elizabeth acts like the good soul she’s not and tells him that’s rude. Jake goes to bed, and Sam tells Jason and Elizabeth about Dr. Sheinberg, and how he’s going to come forward. Elizabeth acts like she’s grateful that Sam got involved and Jason kills all her hopes by telling Sam he’s staying down the hall. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

Dante tells Jordan about the conversation with Dillon and how he saw Johnny. Jordan wonders why Johnny was in Lulu’s company as far back as Christmas. Dante says Johnny wasn’t necessarily in her company. Jordan wants to talk to Lulu, but Dante says he can’t get her on the phone. He shows Jordan the photos.

Lulu keeps beeping the horn, while the flames get closer to Valerie who is yelling her head off. As much as you can with a gag anyway.

Elizabeth asks Jason how Jake was when they were out. Jason says that he’s a kid and he wants things he can’t have. Elizabeth says she can’t stop thinking about what Jake went through with Helena. Jason says thanks to Sam he might be able to avoid jail. Jake pops in and says Sam isn’t as good as Jason thinks she is.

Alexis wonders why the check would be sent back. Christina makes up something about it being an electronic error and that other students got checks back. She tells Sonny to just give her the check and she’ll deliver it personally. She leaves to talk to Sam, and I don’t think Sonny or Alexis are believing her.

Jordan and Dante look at the photos. Dante judges the dates by what Valerie is wearing. Jordan says it looks like Valerie was on the take. Dante says he doesn’t believe that. Jordan says she doesn’t want to either, but he’d better figure out how to prove that’s not the case.

Lulu decides to leave, but sees the fire. She jumps out of the car and runs to the cabin. Don’t call 911 or anything.  No, that would be too easy. She goes inside and sees Valerie unconscious with flames dancing around her. Let her burn and all your troubles will be over. Just turn around now.

Jason and Elizabeth grill Jake about brushing his teeth. I ask again, how old is this kid??? Jason asks what Jake meant about Sam. He says she’s greedy and wants everything for herself. Jason says that’s not true and Jake says she broke the picture of their family.

Christina tells Sam her parents are being intrusive. Sam asks her what’s going on. Christina asks her not to tell her parents, and when Sam promises not to, she tells Sam she’s been suspended.

Alexis tells Sonny his clashes with Christina are probably because they’re so much alike. He seems to think there’s something going on, and suggests maybe she’s embarrassed having a father who didn’t finish school and is a crime lord. I suggest that if this was a problem, they would have known by now.

No progress has been made at the PCPD. Jordan asks Dante how he thinks Lulu might be involved. Bobbi comes in and Dante asks for her help. He tells her about the photos. Bobbi asks if they think Valerie is in cahoots with Johnny. Jordan says not necessarily, but both of them are missing. Bobbi says she knows Valerie wouldn’t throw in with Johnny and that if Valerie is missing, it’s probably foul play.

Lulu runs to Valerie. She puts her jacket over Valerie’s head and gets the ropes untied. Lulu tries to wake up Valerie, but no luck. She pulls her out of the chair and starts doing CPR. Is she not breathing or does Lulu think this is how you wake up an unconscious person? Lulu screams at Valerie to wake up. Finally, she sits up and Lulu gets her outside.

Dante and Jordan ask Bobbi if Valerie has been stressed lately. Bobbi says yes, but she was concentrating on her career. She says that Valerie was used to money being tight, but she was looking for a job and she wouldn’t have taken money from Johnny. Jordan says that’s it for now, but they might have more questions later. Jordan tells Dante this doesn’t explain the pictures

Elizabeth asks Jake if he saw Sam break the picture. He says no, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t do it. Ha-ha! Jason tells him he shouldn’t make up stories and that Sam didn’t break the picture. Jake asks how he knows that. He says he knows Sam and that she knows lies are a mistake and that they never take you where you want to go. Jake says maybe she didn’t break the picture, but she wants to steal his family. I still say that kid broke the picture himself.

Alexis says Christina loves Sonny and that if she’s irritated, it has nothing to do with him. At the bar, Christina says her last break up was bad and she skipped class for a while. By the time she went back, she was failing. She tells Sam that she didn’t tell her parents because she thought she could catch up, but it never happened. Sam says she should talk to her professor. Christina says she tried, but she didn’t ask him “the right way.” When Sam asks what she means, Christina says she asked him if there was anything else she could do to pass the class.

Jason lectures Jake on what a good person Sam is. Jake says that Sam is bad because she took Jason away from them. Elizabeth tells him to go to bed, but he says he can’t sleep. Jake goes wherever, and Jason tells Elizabeth they’re not going to panic, he’s going out to get ginger ale and he’ll be back later.

Christina adds that the professor is hot, and Sam assumes she slept with him. Sam gives her a run down on why this is a bad idea. Christina says she didn’t have sex with him, but she offered it. Instead of taking her up on it, the professor turned her in and she got suspended. This sounds ridiculous, and I seriously doubt it would happen in real life. Christina says she can’t tell her parents. Sam says she’ll ultimately have to.

Alexis and Sonny confer on what’s up with Christina. They rule out love life. Alexis tells Sonny that she has better communication with Christina and she hasn’t heard a peep. She also suggests that Sonny go back to school if he wants to speak Christina’s language and thinks it’s creating a wedge between them.

Dante tells Jordan being on the take isn’t like Valerie and she knows it. He says whoever sent the photos was setting her up. Jordan says if she was being set up, then by whom? Johnny doesn’t make any sense and who else would do it? Think hard, Dante.

Lulu and Valerie are outside. Lulu realizes she left her phone in her jacket inside the cabin. She wants to walk for help, but Valerie says they’re in the middle of nowhere and she’s going to freeze. And if they stay here, they have this huge fire to keep them warm. She really didn’t say that last part, but I thought it was funny.

Sam tells Christina she can’t wish the problem away, and that if she doesn’t tell her parents, Sam will. Christina says she’ll get a crappy apartment and work a crappy job and go back later. She also doesn’t want to burden Sonny with something else. She begs Sam not to tell and Sam relents. She gives Christina the keys to her place and tells her to keep it clean. She makes Christina promise to give her weekly updates and stay away from the professor.

Sonny tells Alexis that Julian is a snake. Alexis says they almost made it through a conversation without arguing about him. Sonny reminds her that Julian had Duke killed. Alexis leaves.

Christina gets a text from Parker. Who?

Jason comes into the bar and sees Sam. Jason explains about why Elizabeth is in his room. Sam says she appreciates it, but he doesn’t have to explain anything to her. He tells her about telling Jake how she searches for the truth. She says she wasn’t always that way; that he taught her to be like that. She leaves.

Jake asks Elizabeth if they’ll ever be together as a family again. She says anything can happen.

Dante keeps trying to get Lulu on the phone. He leaves a message saying he knows she’s in the middle of the Johnny/Valerie mess and wants to know what the blip is going on.

Valerie and Lulu huddle under a towel. I’m assuming the car won’t start? Even if that’s the case, why don’t they get into the car? At least their weather is on point with the real world. It’s freaking freezing out.

Tomorrow, Scotty is back! Valerie wonders how Lulu found her and Paul wonders how long before Ava disrobes.

Vanderpump Rules

After a plane ride I’m glad I wasn’t a passenger on, the gang arrives in Hawaii. It’s absolutely beautiful, and I can just imagine what a waste this trip is going to be on this group. Of course someone says they got laid when presented with a lei upon landing. Sigh.

The rooms are spectacular and the drinking begins immediately. That’s if it ever stopped. Lala tells Faith that James thinks he’s going to get with her, but he’s not. Ariana shows Tom a series of texts between Scheana and Ariana’s mother discussing Tom in a negative way with Scheana as the instigator.

More drinking before dinner. Max is still recovering from his surgery. Tom announces tomorrow’s activity, a hike with him as guide. There are also upcoming surf lessons. Ariana is stressing over the Scheana texts and isn’t fully enjoying herself. I guess I’d be pissed too.

Ariana makes a toast to the birthday boys, Tom and Jax, using the word “awesome” a lot. Lala has said PDA is James’s thing and she’s right. Jax says something stupid about people who aren’t here who should be and people who are there who shouldn’t be. Lala says Britney needs to “control her man” and I wonder what planet she’s from. What is wrong with that woman? An argument starts between James and Jax. A-hole awards all around.

More drinking. James is bending Max’s ear and complaining about Jax. The rest of the crowd joins them at a very NYC looking bar. Scheana says she and Shay are going to have alone time while everyone else is going on the hike. Tom brings up the texts. Scheana tries to act like it was Ariana’s mom who initiated the conversation, but Ariana got the texts straight from her mom. Tom reads them out loud. Scheana acts like she didn’t do anything wrong and says Tom has a superior attitude.

Ariana can’t figure out the motivation, but I’m wondering if it’s because they don’t want to be friends with Kristen. Tom says he’s been a stand up guy with them. Scheana says she sticks by her words, what’s done is done, and she’s going to bed. Tom tells Shay that if it was him, he’d be pretty angry too. If this was me, I’d ignore them for the rest of the trip and have a good time.

Giggy! Lisa is worried about Max. Aww, we see pics of Ken with Max as a baby. Lisa isn’t thrilled that James is on the trip because he’s erratic and unpredictable. I don’t blame her.

Katie has jet lag. Schwartz tells her he recreated Justin Bieber’s nakey pic on their balcony while she was sleeping. Yep, he did. And he Instagrammed it. Lisa sent them flowers and they give her a call. She asks how Max is doing and she tells them how worried she is. Katie says she’s as tough as a mother as she is as a boss. Lisa says she gets concerned when the bunch of them goes somewhere together. Again, I don’t blame her.

Scheana, who is totally disappointing me, is gossiping about Ariana and Tom to Jax.  Britney is tired of Lala flirting with Jax and says she’s going to talk to her.

The group, minus the Shays and Katie, goes on a hike. This is the kind of thing I would love. They go swimming in a place that has a waterfall. We flash back to some of Stassi’s birthdays and her control issues. Tom promises not to act like that. Lala and Faith take their tops off. Jax says he’s going to look, but the trick is looking without Britney seeing. Schwartz has the opposite reaction in that they’ve seen so many, it’s no big deal.

Scheana hopes Shay can master moderation on this trip because she can’t grasp that he should not drink at all. Don’t come whining to me when he disappears for days again.

The hikers stop at a clearing. Schwartz asks what’s up with Ariana and Scheana, and Ariana explains. Schwartz says he doesn’t think Scheana is right, but Tom has been a little snippy lately.

In the meantime, Scheana is telling Katie how she’s her best friend now, and Tom and Ariana act like they’re on a pedestal. Because we’re all 14.

Britney confronts Lala about having no respect for her and Jax’s relationship. Lala says she’s crossed the line flirting and she apologizes. She says she didn’t know they were together. Jax says no way he said that. Lala says at first she thought he was just leaving out details, but now she knows he’s a liar. This is true, but she’s also a sleazebag.

Jax goes humana-humana and Lala tells Britney she does respect relationships. In her individual interview, Lala says she could say a lot that Britney doesn’t want to hear, but sees no point, and Jax says he dodged a bullet.

James asks Max if he supposed to be drinking right now. Max says no, but James justifies it by saying it’s a disinfectant. Okay. Lisa calls Max to check up on him. He thinks he assuages her fears, but probably not. Lala and Faith join them and Lala tells James about Britney’s confrontation.

Schwartz tells Katie about their day and says he saw Lala’s boobs but didn’t look at them. Katie thinks it’s wrong for the girls to be taking off their tops around other people’s boyfriends and I agree. Schwartz tells her about the texts. Katie disagrees about Scheana being in the wrong and says Schwartz isn’t being supportive.

Even more drinking! This time it’s those drinks in pineapples. Ariana brings up Lala’s toplessness and says it wasn’t appropriate. Lala says she encourages every woman to go topless. Scheana says she totally understands Katie’s side, but what did she expect? Lala says what It really means is she doesn’t trust her man. Boys would probably be a more accurate description for the males in this group.

Now that she’s had a few pineapple drinks, Lala decides Britney should hear the truth . She takes Britney aside and tells her about Jax playing a part in their flirting, and that he said he wanted to get with her. Britney says she’s confused, since Jax has acted innocent. Britney tries to pin a little on Lala, but somehow Lala turns it around. Lala says she’s not going down with the ship anymore. Britney says she’s going to talk to Jax. Way to have fun on vacation. I don’t know who’s a bigger d-bag, Jax or Lala. Probably James will trump the both of them.

Britney takes Jax aside. I think he knows what’s coming. Britney tells Jax what Lala said. He repeats her words, which usually tells me that the person is thinking about what answer they’re going to fabricate. Jax says Lala was drunk and is just reaching. Britney calls Lala over. Lala insists she told the truth. Jax repeats that she was drunk and insists he never said it. Scheana sticks her nose into it, but says she didn’t really hear anything. In her individual interview, Scheana says she has her suspicions, but didn’t want to rock the boat. Lala starts getting animated and Jax continues to insist he did nothing. Lala says she’s only been honest and she’s done.

She walks away to be alone.

Next time, more drinking! Stassi and Kristen get together, and Jax gets arrested.

MasterChef Celebrity Showdown

If they rerun this, I highly recommend watching. As well as having celebrities compete, a trio of MasterChef winners compete against the final three from this season of MasterChef Junior, which includes my girl, Addy. Christine, winner of MasterChef’s season three, was also a favorite of mine, as she’s blind. Everyone was surprised that she ended up the winner, but it was logical to me, as I thought her other senses would be more keen. All of the entrants got a donation to their charity of choice, and the big winners get an extra donation.

Best of all, it’s food porn at its finest.

January 17, 2016 — A Potomac of Etiquette & Nene’s Return


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


The Real Housewives of Potomac

First up, Gizelle. She tells us Potomac is one of the most exclusive areas in the country and only pedigree or cash can get you in. Her father was big in the civil rights movement. She was married to Jamal Bryant who was a bigwig pastor and also a civil rights leader. Unfortunately, he was also a cheater, so she’s now divorced. She also has three young girls, and so far, everyone looks pretty normal.

Katie is next, meeting her boyfriend, Andrew, for lunch. He orders for her. Enough said. She has three kids under the age of three. Now really enough said. She wants to go to the Preakness, but Andrew wants her doing something to support his career. She mentions that she’d like to get married again. She can’t imagine why Andrew doesn’t want to marry such a great catch. I’m sure it won’t be long before I figure it out.

Robyn comes from a family of doctors and lawyers, but she’s in public relations because she’s not into a suit type job. Gizelle comes over. Robyn says Gizelle has a rocking sense of humor, but a lot of people in Potomac don’t get her. Robyn lives with her ex-husband, Juan, and they’re raising their kids together. While this isn’t unheard of, they also sleep in the same bed, so I’m not so sure how different this Is from being married, since she also says neither one of them is dating. Gizelle says they tried to get rid of Juan, but he only went to the mailbox and back.

Next is Karen. I can already tell from the previews that she’s a piece of work. She says her husband Raymond is the Black Bill Gates. She says money isn’t everything but she’s never met a happy poor man. Really? Has she ever left her yard?

Karen arrives at Gizelle’s house where she has a problem negotiating the steps in those sky high heels all the Wives wear. In her individual interview, Karen talks about her leadership position in the community. Her youngest daughter is getting ready to go to college and the ladies talk kids for a while. Gizelle says that anything you can do, Karen can do better. She says she also feels judged by Karen, but it comes with the territory.

Katie and Gizelle meet at a family restaurant that also has a burlesque show going on, which seems like an oxymoron or something. Robyn and Cherisse show up. Cherisse’s husband is some kind of coach and that’s how Robyn knows her. She’s also a good friend of Karen, in whose honor this luncheon is being thrown. There’s some disagreement about who should get the middle seat. As the honoree, etiquette dictates Karen should have it, but Gizelle isn’t budging, so Karen acts passive aggressive. Let me get this straight. You’re having a lunch at a burlesque house and you’re worried about the seating manners?

Cherisse’s husband travels a lot and she says it’s good with her. Sounds like a good way to keep the marriage going to me. They toast to Karen and the compliments flow along with the champagne. I gag because I’m sure these women don’t all love Karen. I certainly don’t.

Charisse is going to have a crab boil as another tribute to Karen, and needs Gizelle’s help with learning how to boil crab. Gizelle brings a stylist friend along, and apparently three or more people are needed for this operation. The second they open the bucket, all the crabs take off running. Can you blame them?

They’re not much better at this when they round up the crabs and get them inside. Why didn’t she just have this catered? When Charisse is getting dressed, Gizelle and friend look through her kitchen. Friend asks about the Coors Light in the fridge, as though rich people might not drink that. The two of them make so much noise, Charisse can hear them and starts to get annoyed.

Gizelle and friend goof around with the housekeeper. Charisse acts all indignant that these two are being playful. They start coming upstairs and she asks them to wait downstairs, threatening to kick them out. Her nose is so far up in the air, she must trip on sidewalk cracks a lot. Oh, wait. She probably travels by a sedan carried by servants.

Because Charisse is taking so long to get ready, Gizelle greets the guests. Karen arrives, annoyed that there’s no valet parking and she has to walk twelve feet. Gizelle talks about bringing her stylist and Karen is aghast that someone dares to hang out with the help. She also has some weird notion that Charisse shouldn’t have brought the help to help.

Karen brings up Charisse sitting in the center at her birthday. Oh brother. Karen says etiquette is everything and gives Charisse a framed set of etiquette rules. These are all rules that apply directly to this birthday lunch, which BTW, Karen was late to. This is possibly one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen on a Wives show and that’s saying a lot.

Some friend of Charisse’s goes running upstairs to tattle that Gizelle complained about her. Charisse is acting like Gizelle is being ghetto just because she’s acting like a normal person. Gizelle says she has a legacy and a pedigree and Karen comes from a farm. This is said during her interview segment, but I have the feeling she wouldn’t be afraid to say it to Karen’s face. Karen gets ridiculously wound up and offended, and walks away from Gizelle.

Next time, the girls take a vintage photo, try on bathing suits, and surf. It also looks like the drinking guns come out. This season, lots of shade and drama.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra and her boys are going to Washington DC to support the Million Man March. The boys are helping her pack, which basically means not helping. Phaedra is also meeting with some politicians for support with her organization, Save Our Sons. Porsha , Kim and Sheree are coming too. Does Porsha know what Washington DC is?

Todd and Kandi discuss opening a restaurant. Todd says Kandi has a fabulous book of recipes and they should share them with the world. Wouldn’t it be simpler to publish a cookbook? Todd wants to meet with the relatives about using the recipes.

Kenya continues to have work done on the money pit house. She’s behind her timeline, but now that she’s back from Detroit, she’s determined to get the project finished. Cynthia comes by the construction site and asks about the reunion. Kenya tells her about the better relationship with her father, but also about her mother’s snub. She also talks about her mother calling her Aunt Lori and then Lori leaving the reunion. Cynthia says she would have kicked the door down, but I think she’s being rude in saying that. You never know what you’d do in another person’s shoes. To her credit, Cynthia weeps a little with Kenya.

Kenya says she hasn’t spoken to her Aunt Lori and she hates the tension between them.

Phaedra gets a call from Apollo in prison, which sounds like the name of a band or B-movie. He talks to Aidan and Aidan tells him about their impending trip. Apollo tells him he needs to behave better in school, as he’d gotten a bad report. Phaedra says she tries to get Apollo on the phone with the kids as much as possible.

Congresswoman Wilson is a friend of Phaedra’s and has a program to help send young Black men to college. Phaedra is going to meet with her in DC as well. Phaedra has a team coming with her because it takes a village, but on the other hand, Kim likes to handle her own stuff, so she’s going to be juggling a couple of kids on the trip.

The ladies check out the House of Representatives and meet with the Congresswoman, who is wearing quite an outfit, including a sparkly red cowboy hat. She also has some kind of cool table runner with 3D giraffes on either side in her office. Phaedra asks to pick the Congresswoman’s brain. She’d better look out or she won’t have anything left when Phaedra is done. Porsha makes noises about wanting to learn about her heritage, but I’m guessing this is just a passing thought.

The Congresswoman starts talking about how America hates young Black men and I flash back to Michael Meyers’s face when Kenye West spouted off about President Bush and he looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him up. Kim excuses herself with her boys because she feels the topic is a little mature for her kids. Phaedra says she doesn’t want to “sugar coat” things with her sons, throwing shade at Kim. I toss it back, thinking, I suppose not, with dad in prison and all. Kim explains things to her kids in a more appropriate way in another room.

Aunt Lori comes over to Kenya’s, along with someone else (a cousin?). Lori says they want to talk to Kenya about something. They all sit down with a drink. Lori says she never wanted to be in the middle with Kenya in her mom. She says she loves Kenya, but she also loves her sister. Lori says Kenya’s mom was young when she had Kenya and had every right to give up her child. Kenya says she’s not judging her for that, but objects to her treatment of Kenya in later years.

Lori tells her “enough is enough.” Kenya says she saw her mother at family functions over the years where her mother talked to everyone else, but ignored her as though she didn’t exist. This sounds just incredibly bizarre. No wonder Kenya has issues. Kenya asks why Lori left the reunion. Lori says her sister had been alone when Kenya came by, was frightened by Kenya, and she should have called first. Kenya says it’s her mother. The cousin says something about it being a sensitive situation with the family. Lori says Kenya has no idea what went on behind the scenes and that it doesn’t matter what happened but it’s time to let it go and move on. Kenya says that when she left her mother’s house, it was like a dark cloud blew away. The cousin, who turns out to be Lori’s daughter, says Kenya can share her mother. It’s all good at the end of the meeting and everyone hugs.

Phaedra has put together a luncheon for the members of Congress who have helped her out. I barely know who my Congressman is, but she seems to know all these people personally. One of Kim’s kids starts screeching and she has to go. Sheree suggests that Kim should have brought a team. Kim says these activities are not for kids.

We flash back to Porsha thinking the Underground Railroad was an actual train. She’s come a long way. Maybe. Sheree goes out to the limo and suggests Kim come back in and not be disrespectful. Kim says she’s not; she’s trying to take care of her kids. Sheree is incredibly dense and seems to have forgotten what it’s like to have small children. Well, it was a long time ago. Bloop!

Kandi is having a family dinner to butter the relatives up about the recipe usage. Mama Joyce is loving on Todd who’s wondering who this woman is. Todd compliments all the women on their cooking and says he and Kandi were thinking about opening a restaurant. One of them is like, I’m not doing the cooking, but Kandi explains they would just be consultants. Aunt Bertha seems hesitant, but the others are liking the idea.

Phaedra and Porsha have room service. Phaedra says that Louis Farrakhan called her personally to be on stage during the march. The ladies get in some kind of limo bus and head for the march. Kim is leaving early for an event supporting lymphoma research, and both Phaedra and Sheree have a lot to say about that, just not to her face.

Phaedra introduces some mothers of murdered sons to the ladies. Porsha acts like she understands what’s going on.

Nene is coming to visit Cynthia. Interesting how the very person propelling her reintroduction is the same one she thought should be let go from the show on Watch What Happens Live. Cynthia tells Nene she can unblock her on social media now and everyone acts like nothing happened, although we get reminded with some flashbacks, including Cynthia burning their friendship contract.

Nene says she’s had the time she needed and now she wants to start a friendship again. Ugh! Does Cynthia understand what she’s getting into? It’s not like Nene has changed. When Cynthia says that she’s friends with Kenya, Nene makes a fish face. Cynthia brings Nene up to speed on the group.

Nene says the queen is back. But I don’t see RuPaul anywhere.

Next time, Phaedra makes plans to take the kids to visit Apollo and Kenya calls Kim a pretentious piece of tootie.

January 15, 2016 — GH, Little & Big Chefs, & a Couch


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

At the hotel, Elizabeth asks Jason if there’s been any news. He says the police haven’t made any discoveries yet. Elizabeth says she doesn’t want to stay in the hotel any longer.

Tracy is on an island somewhere getting a massage. I wish I was there too.

Nicholas is back home and Hayden is fussing over him. Nicholas says they seem to be working things to their advantage. He tells her about the deal he proposed to Jason and that Jason didn’t take him up on it.

Sam shows up at a hotel room. A large, bald man answers the door. He tells her she must have the wrong room. She asks if he’s a Dr. Sheinberg and says he’s her only hope. Because he’s secretly Obi Wan Kenobi.

Dillon asks for Valerie at the station since they’re supposed to meet there and go out to dinner. The desk cop says she’s not there. Dillon hears him say something about Johnny being on the loose and mentions that Maxie saw him today.

Lulu answers the door to Laura. Laura says she saw Johnny is back in town and Lulu says she’s shocked.

Valerie calls for help, but Johnny says don’t bother.

Jason suggests that Cameron come and stay with them. Elizabeth says having the whole family together will confuse Jake even more. Jason says it doesn’t make sense for her to go back before the case is wrapped up. Jake pops in and is thrilled “daddy is home.”

Dante runs into Dillon and asks what’s going on.

Lulu tells Laura that Dante told her about Johnny and that Johnny had contacted Maxie. Laura says Luke’s daughter should be a better liar and asks if she was hiding Johnny on The Haunted Star.

Johnny ties Valerie up inside a ranger cabin. Valerie asks why Johnny is doing this. He says she should be asking what she can do to get out of it. She thinks it has something to do with Luke, but Johnny tells her to keep her mouth shut and let him think. He’s actually a little scary here, but I don’t like Valerie, so I’m okay with it.

Nicholas wonders why Jason would risk prison and being separated from his sons for ELQ. Hayden says her statement had some inconsistencies and asks if Nicholas thinks their case is iron-clad. He says considering Jason’s background, it shouldn’t be a problem,

Sam says she knows Dr. Sheinberg is meeting someone other than his wife at the hotel. He thinks she’s there to shake him down, but she says he was there the night of the fight and she wants her suspicions confirmed. He says they were at the window checking out the view. He keeps talking about the dark haired man, meaning Nicholas, and the light haired man, meaning Jason, but don’t they have pretty much the same hair color? He says the dark haired man threw the first punch and was the aggressor, and that the dark haired man’s momentum carried him over the balcony. Sam asks if he’ll tell the police. He says he can’t do that. She says then they’ll hear it from the recording she just made.

Elizabeth says the longer they stay, Jake is going to think they’re getting back together. She says being there with Jason is difficult for her as well. She say the nicer he is, the more she regrets what she did and the love they shared doesn’t just go away. Please, Jason, do not fall for this.

Johnny freaks a little when he hears a siren in the distance, but it passes. Valerie says the next one will be for them. Johnny says no one will be around at least until morning. Valerie tells him sooner or later someone is going to find them and Johnny should turn himself in. Johnny says she’s more trouble than he expected, but he has a solution. I don’t think it’s a good one for her, since he used the word “unfortunately.”

Tracy says she can’t relax. The masseuse asks if there’s anything he can do to help. Is he hitting on her?

Nicholas says because of the fall, he sees how much Hayden cares for him and she has a loving, generous heart. The phone rings and Hayden answers. It’s Tracy, telling her it’s the voice of doom calling. Tracy says she probably prefers Hayden to Rachel, and calls her Rachel throughout the rest of the conversation. She asks how Nicholas is doing. Nicholas asks who’s on the phone and Hayden tells him it’s a medical follow-up. He says he’ll handle it.

Johnny sees the text from Lulu and Valerie asks who he’s calling.

Lulu tells Laura that she hasn’t seen Johnny and doesn’t know where he is. Laura asks who she was in the stateroom with. Lulu says she was by herself and when Laura came she was cleaning up. Laura says she’d buy that if Lulu hadn’t tried to keep her away from a duffel bag that was there. The phone rings and Laura asks if it’s Johnny.

Johnny whispers into the phone not to call him back, but bring the bag with his money in it.

Dante and Nathan say Dillon is being “weird” about Johnny. Dillon says okay, he does have something to tell them, but he wants to do it privately and they’re not going to like it.

Dr. Sheinberg is all how dare you and says Sam can’t use the recording. Sam says au contraire, in the state of New York, she can. She says it would be better though if he would back it up. Dr Sheinberg says he’ll say he was lying. His girlfriend walks in.

Dillon says anything he tells them is off the record. He says he wants anyone who was helping Johnny to have immunity. Dante says no way, and Dillon says good-by then. Dante says he’ll charge him with aiding and abetting, and Dillon says fine, his lawyer is the DA.

Laura wants Lulu to show her the phone. She says she’s working too hard to be evasive and no one shows that much righteous indignation who’s an innocent. Lulu says okay, it was Johnny, but he’s gone and it’s over with. Laura asks why she would do this. Lulu says if it wasn’t for Valerie, she wouldn’t have.

Valerie says she had dinner plans, so they’ll be looking for her. Johnny tells her to shut up and wonders where his bag is.

Jason asks when Jake’s appointment with the therapist is and says they should stay in the hotel at least until then. Jake pops in again, asking about the ice cream Jason promised him. Elizabeth tells them to go, even though it’s late, because how know where they’ll be tomorrow. Please, stop with the dramatics.

Dr. Sheinberg  tells his girlfriend, Veronica, it’s nothing and says don’t talk because Sam will record it. Sam tells them Jason is innocent and will go to prison if they don’t tell what they saw. Dr Sheinberg says it will cost them dearly and there must be some other way. Sam says there isn’t and tells them the backstory. Dr Sheinberg asks how fair is it for them to screw themselves to help her. She says it isn’t fair, but she’s asking them to do the right thing.

Hayden says she’ll handle the call. Tracy says she’d better get it together by the time Tracy gets home or she’ll spill the Rachel beans.

Nicholas tells Hayden he needs her and asks if his vulnerability is sexy. They start to kiss.

Veronica says she’ll support whatever the doctor wants to do, but adds he knows what they should do. He says he doesn’t want to lose her, and that maybe it’s time to go public. He says that if a man’s freedom is at stake, they should help him.  Sam shows them a bunch of paperwork, and it turns out the doctor is the one who ran the DNA test for Carly.

Jake asks if they can go out for ice cream every night. Jason says they’ll be doing lots of things for a very long time.

Dillon says he saw Johnny weeks ago before Christmas on The Haunted Star. He says Lulu said it was just for one night, but Dante puts two and two together and realizes that Johnny was hanging around longer than that. Dillon says Lulu told him there was nothing going on.

Laura says she knows how much Lulu has been hurt, but how is Valerie responsible for anything with Johnny? Lulu starts to say if it wasn’t for Valerie, she wouldn’t have…and stops.

Johnny puts a gag in Valerie’s mouth since she won’t shut up. He says he’s leaving and she freaks.

Hayden and Nicholas are going at it. For someone who was in a lot of pain a few minutes ago, he seems to be doing pretty well.

Tracy is back to her massage and feels more relaxed after the phone call.

Dr. Sheinberg and Veronica see Jason at the MetroCourt and the doctor tells him they’re going to the authorities tomorrow to clear his name. Veronica tells Jason not to thank them, but to thank his wife. Dr Sheinberg says he’s a lucky man.

Sam knocks on the door to Jason’s suite and Elizabeth answers. I’d love to wipe the stupid smirk off her face.

The desk cop shows Dante pictures of Valerie taking money from Johnny and also of them in a car together.

Johnny says it’s bad business to leave witnesses. He says luckily there’s gasoline so he can make a clean getaway. Valerie totally freaks.

Lulu says if she and Dante were together, she never would have considered helping Johnny, so it’s all Valerie’s fault. Laura says that’s a bit of a stretch and I have to agree. Laura goes to tend to Rocco, and Lulu gets the message about Johnny’s bag.

Valerie tries desperately to get out of Johnny’s Boy Scout knots and knocks over a candle.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth gives Sam the wrong impression and it looks like Lulu might be the one to save Valerie.

MasterChef Junior

Down to six. The kids have to cater a lunch at Gordon’s place for culinary world luminaries. Whatever that means to you. They’ll be working in two teams of three each. My girl, Addy, is one of the team captains.

Of course Gordon has a fabulous property, but the best thing about it is his little French bulldog, King George. Gordon gets a headache pretty early on. These kids crack me up though. So sophisticated one minute, and the next, claiming they don’t know what to do because they’re only in elementary school. When I was in elementary school, I was lucky I could make peanut butter on toast.

This is great! I finally know how you say gnocchi.

Holy! One of the kids spills a hot pan full of venison and butter onto Gordon’s leg and into his shoe. He handles it a million times better than I would. I didn’t hear one bleep.

The red team wins and Addy is the only one from the blue team who is safe. My money is totally on her. The two going home take it extremely well and they have a lot to be proud of. One is twelve and one is eight, and they’re cooking 3 Michelin star meals. I can’t even imagine how much they’ll accomplish by the time they’re grown-ups.

Hell’s Kitchen

I always love how they do the opening titles. This season, the chefs are trekking through snowy mountains. The show itself is stationed in Las Vegas this time around.

With way too many contestants and it being too early to care about any of them, the first challenge is making a signature dish. There’s an audience, which is weird and I’m not so sure I like it. We learn a little about the contestants as Gordon tastes the dishes. Nope. Don’t like the audience. Whether it’s enhanced or natural, their reactions to Gordon’s critiques are too loud. He gives each dish 1-5 points.

The men get slightly more points, so they get to have fun, while the women get to peel 50 pounds of shrimp and 1000 pounds of potatoes for a buffet. Woohoo. Welcome to Vegas.

During the first Hell’s Kitchen dinner presentation, some chick named Vanessa is wigging out. She says she’s on the app station where most people die. I’m not sure if she means die as in fail, or a lot of accidents happen there. She can’t seem to make the pizza appetizer without burning it. My first job was making pizzas, so this is something I can actually do. It’s probably the first time I’m saying that in the history of my watching chef competitions. The men can’t cook a pizza either, so I’m extra stoked.

Uh-oh. Risotto is involved. That never goes well. You can tell who’s going to be leaving quickly by the way they react to the first scolding from Gordon.

The men’s blue team totally screws up and Gordon kicks their sorry asses out of the kitchen completely. I guess that means they lost this round. Deer-caught-in-the-headlights guy goes home.

Next week, the chefs drink too much and are hung over. There are also Sumo wrestlers.

The People’s Couch

I don’t really recap this, but it’s one of my favorite shows. This season they’ve added The Haves and the Have Nots to the mix, and I’m excited about that. I’m really glad this show has done well. What makes it so much fun is that they’re having fun.

I can’t say I ever thought I’d be watching a show about watching people watching TV.

It also gives me the quotes of the week:

Oh my God, I wanna drive through a house. Julie referring to a scene in The Haves and the Have Nots.

There’s always one drunk on every show. Teddi while watching The Bachelor.

January 14, 2016 — Crimson Success & Oscar Snubs


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Nina keeps bugging Julian on his cell phone. He thinks the magazine is going to tank, but I think he has another think coming. Especially since everyone is walking around the MetroCourt with a copy and he’s like, wha…?

Robert and Mac are having drinks. Mac asks Robert to stick around for a while. Robert is hesitant.

Jordan and Anna check out Sabrrrina’s place. They don’t see anything disturbed. Anna thinks maybe Sabrrrina booked with Carrrlos. Now this makes total sense why she didn’t take a bag. The doorknob starts jiggling, and they draw their guns. Um…Felix lives there too, yo.

Maxie tells Nathan he’s right, that Johnny contacted her and she saw him.

Dante calls Olivia and tells her Rocco is sick, so he won’t be visiting.

Johnny gets into Valerie’s car. She tells him he can pay her back for the ride by helping her go through her exam questions. He texts his “friends” to tell them he’ll be late, but he’s really texting Lulu to say Operation V is a go and Valerie will be out of Lulu’s life tomorrow.

Michael comes into Sabrrrina’s apartment and he’s like, whoa, don’t shoot. Anna and Jordan explain why they’re there. Anna says Sabrrrina told her about the baby. Michael says he came there earlier to tell her he made a mistake, but she’s gone.

Robert says he has too much responsibility to the WSB to stay put, and now that Robin is gone, he has no ties to Port Charles. Mac says he should make it his home turf. He says Robert still has ties there, Anna being one. Robert scoffs at that, saying Anna would like to see him gone, but Mac says he’s not so sure about that.

Julian tells Alexis it looks like the magazine is going to make money. Told ya.

Nathan brings Dante into the conversation with Maxie. She says Johnny showed up at the apartment. Dante asks if Lulu was there and she says no, and she got rid of Johnny immediately.

Olivia shows up at Maxie’s where Lulu is staying. Olivia says Dante told her Rocco was sick and Lulu asks if she was checking to see if it’s the truth. Olivia says only a little bit. They talk about Valerie. Olivia tells Lulu about their conversation. She says Valerie isn’t the only one who’s made mistakes and maybe it’s time to stop putting all the blame there and start working on her and Dante.

Johnny gives Valerie directions to the restaurant he’s supposed to meet his friends at. Valerie says she loves to cook and Johnny gives her a million compliments. Her police scanner says something about a heist at a liquor store. Johnny says he thought she was just a cadet, and Valerie says she likes being prepared.

Maxie says she didn’t help Johnny or tell him anything. Dante asks if he knew Lulu was living there, and Maxie says she didn’t tell him. Nathan asks if Lulu would have said something if she’d seen him, since she was just there.

Valerie says she likes to keep up to speed with what’s going on and tells Johnny she’s totally focused on her career. She also tells him a little about the fling with Dante without naming names.

Lulu says she thought Olivia was on her side. She says everything was fine until Valerie came along. Olivia says Valerie just wanted to know her family. Lulu says Valerie skipped all the family members and just went straight for Dante and also became a police cadet to be close to him. Olivia says it’s Dante’s fault too and adds that Lulu shouldn’t have lied about being with Dillon. She says Valerie took advantage, but if there was nothing wrong to begin with, it wouldn’t have happened.

Michael says he checked with Sabrrrina’s family in Puerto Rico, but no one has heard from her. He says he came back to shake Felix down some more. With soap opera timing, Felix walks in. Jordan and Anna tell him why they came over. Felix says he knows where Sabrrrina is.

Anna says she isn’t in any trouble, but she wants to talk to Sabrrrina. Felix says that she’s at a cousin’s house in Puerto Rico. Anna says that might just be a cover story.

Mac tells Robert the world needs heroes who will drop everything at a moment’s notice to fight the bad guys, but that heroes come in all shapes and sizes. He says dads are heroes too. Robert asks if Mac wants him to stay as punishment for being a deadbeat dad. Mac tells him he’s being thick, and that there are other people who need him. He says Anna is struggling right now and needs his help.

Julian says that if the IRS sees that his legitimate business is making money, they’ll look closer at him. He says the government was never able to nail him for other reasons, and he might go the way of Al Capone.

Lulu tells Olivia she’s wrong. Olivia says if Valerie was gone, it wouldn’t make everything all right again. Lulu says it would give them a chance, especially since Valerie is related to half the town, which puts Lulu at a disadvantage. Olivia says their problems are bigger than just Valerie, and she and Dante need to sit down and talk. She says if Lulu could take the focus off of Valerie, they could work on the real problems.

Maxie says that Johnny told her he just needed a breather from running. Nathan and Dante seem to believe her, but they need an official statement. They also want to put out an APB on Johnny.

Valerie asks if Johnny is single. He says he’s flying solo, and she asks if their chance meetings were really coincidental. He says yes, and that after she drops him off, she’ll probably never see him again because Port Charles isn’t for him. With more soap opera timing, the scanner says the police are looking for Johnny.

Alexis says that as Julian’s attorney, she’s not going to let anyone put him away. He says he thought putting Nina in charge of Crimson would give him a huge write off, but she seems to be making it work. Alexis says it’s probably a fluke.

The scanner describes Johnny, who sounds like – yep, Valerie said it – half the population of Port Charles. She asks if Johnny is really leaving town. He says he’s also involved with someone who’s emotionally unavailable.

Maxie calls Lulu and tells her what happened. She says she didn’t tell them anything about Lulu’s involvement and that she told them Johnny showed up at her apartment when Lulu wasn’t there. She says she’s sorry, but Lulu tells her she’s not mad. There’s a knock at the door. Lulu thinks it must be Dante and Maxie asks her to please tell Dante the truth.

Sure enough, it’s Dante at the door. Lulu asks if he’s there to check out if Rocco is really sick. He tells her Johnny is back in town.

Jordan gets off the phone and tells Felix that Sabrrrina’s family hasn’t heard from her. Felix says if she’s not with her family, where is she? Michael says she shouldn’t be alone so close to her due date.

Mac tells Robert about the Carrrlos situation and how Paul is trying to manipulate Anna. Robert asks how much danger Mac thinks she’s in. Mac says as long as it stays as it is, not much, but he’s concerned that Anna isn’t thinking clearly.

Olivia brings a bottle of champagne to Julian and Alexis’s table at the MetroCourt. She says she wants to congratulate them properly. She says she appreciates that Alexis being gracious about her being part of the family and she wants to throw them an engagement party.

Johnny goes through the exam questions with Valerie. She asks where the restaurant is, since this seems to be out in the middle of nowhere. He says it’s not too much further and that it’s off the beaten path.

Dante asks Lulu if she’s seen or heard from Johnny, and to please tell the truth. Lulu asks if she should tell him the truth the way he told her the truth? Oh, snap! He says Johnny is a murderer, and Lulu counters with Johnny would never hurt her. Dante asks her to think about it and if she comes up with anything to let him know.

Mac has to leave. Robert is staying for another drink. Mac asks him to think about staying. And leaves him with the check.

Julian thanks Olivia. When Alexis says thanks, Olivia says she’s the only person who can make a thank you sound like a dismissal. Apparently she never met Helena. Olivia flounces off.

Anna sees Robert at the bar. She tells him she needs someone with international connections and says he should stick around. Robert says he’s all hers.

Michael tells Felix he should have realized that Sabrrrina was just scared and now it’s too late. Felix says not to worry, that Anna and Jordan will handle it.

Maxie tells Nathan she’s done giving her statement. Nathan says he appreciates her telling him the truth.

Dante says he doesn’t like that Lulu is there alone with Rocco, especially since Johnny stopped by. She says she appreciates that, but he shouldn’t worry and she’ll let him know if anything happens. After he leaves, Lulu texts Johnny to call off the plans and tells him to leave town immediately. Johnny tells Valerie to drop him off and he’ll walk the rest of the way. They wish each other good luck. Johnny says maybe they’ll run into each other sometime.

He gets out of the car, but suddenly appears at the driver’s side. He yanks open the door, telling Valerie she’s made a huge mistake. Then he howls at the moon.

Tomorrow, Tracy is the voice of doom, Johnny has Valerie all tied up (literally) and Sam tells someone they’re her only hope. Is it Obi Wan Kenobi?

Oscar Thoughts

I just heard there’s some big backlash over the Oscar nominations. Believe it or not, I rarely pay attention to the Academy Awards. I used to watch them every year, but now I rarely do. In 1985, both Bill Hickey (Prizzi’s Honor) and Bill Hurt (Kiss of the Spider Woman) were up for awards. I’d known Bill Hickey as a teacher for many years and had worked at a theatre where Bill Hurt was appearing in a play and was acquainted with him.

Bill Hickey lost out to Don Ameche in Cocoon, but Bill Hurt won. It was all downhill for me from there. I’m not likely to have even seen all the films nominated, much less know anyone in them. Face it; it’s like a wedding shower. It’s not that exciting if it’s not you. And that’s the closest I’ll ever get to it being me. Or to it actually being exciting.

BTW, Bill Hickey said he wasn’t going to the awards ceremony unless he could bring his dog. I didn’t see the dog in the audience, so I guess Bill relented. I’ll bet he wasn’t wearing socks though.

Anyway, the newspeople were saying something about Oscar snubs and I thought,  there are probably hundreds of performances that will never see the Oscar light of day and are a million times better than any of the nominations. So to those who were “snubbed,” just be grateful you made a movie that people saw.

** Important information: The People’s Couch begins this Friday, January 15 at 10 pm.

January 13, 2016 — Adios, Sabrrrina, Carrrlos & the Hotal Cortez


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Nathan meets Maxie at the MetroCourt/Floating Rib/whatever it is.  He asks her what’s going on and she flashes back to seeing Johnny.

Johnny startles Lulu In the park, grabbing her from behind while wearing a ski mask. He’s such a laugh riot!

Dante is beating the crap out of a punching bag at the gym.

Carrrlos calls Sabrrrina back.

Jordan meets with Anna and Paul. Jordan says he needs to come up to speed and passes the ball to Anna.

Valerie is applying for a job at the MetroCourt and Olivia comes by to discourage that. Valerie asks what it will take to make things right and Olivia tells her a time machine and suggests she go back to PA. Now tell us how you really feel.

Michael tells Dante that he should aim higher if he’s thinking of Dillon. Dante says that he doesn’t like Dillon, but he’s the one who ruined his own marriage. Because he gives up easy, when Michael suggests counseling, he brushes it off. He also insists Lulu slept with someone else on New Year’s Eve, even though he has absolutely no real evidence of this. Please, Lulu, run off with Johnny while you can.

Lulu tells Johnny he shouldn’t be goofing around like that because someone could see. She says he shouldn’t take chances because both Dillon and Maxie know he’s around. She says Maxie can’t keep a secret for long and Johnny says he knows Maxie almost as well as he knows Lulu and she won’t tell. If he knows her that well, he should know she always ends up telling.

Nathan tells Maxie he’s been keeping up with her fashion stuff online, which shows once again what a great guy he is. Nina comes by and gives him a copy of the green Crimson issue. Nina says it’s their fashion revolution and I think of Little Edie Beale. Nina says she bought all the local copies and is giving them out for free.

Anna says she’s never been convinced that Carrrlos shot Sonny, so she investigated on her own. Jordan says as far as the PCPD is concerned it’s a closed case, along with Carrrlos’s death.

Not so dead Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina he missed her and she pretends to be talking to her dad while Felix is there. When Felix leaves, she tells Carrrlos she thinks Anna is on to him and not to come back to Port Charles. He tells her he never left, and doesn’t want to leave without her.

Maxie says they can’t get an accurate read on the sales if only one person buys the magazine. Nina says there are plenty of places where it’s still for sale and that when the bloggers and cool kids find out about it, it’s going to take off. Nina tells Maxie she needs to have faith in her ideas. Nina runs off and Maxie says she needs to tell Nathan something, but he has to jet.

Lulu tells Johnny the last time Maxie covered for him, she almost lost the best relationship she had. Lulu says she’s bound to tell Nathan. Johnny says his Valerie plan is almost done and pretty soon Valerie won’t be able to show her face anywhere in Port Charles.

Valerie asks if the answer to everything is her moving out of town. Yes. Olivia says this is Lulu and Dante’s home and they’ll find their way back to each other, and Valerie should get out and stay out. Valerie says Olivia is taking out her own failings with Dante out on her. She says too bad, so sad, she’s not going anywhere and she’d rather shovel snow than work for such a hypocrite. I still can’t figure out how Port Charles has snow when nowhere else in the area does IRL.

Dante says that when the newness of a relationship wears off, that’s when you have to work on it. He says he and Lulu didn’t mean to hurt each other, but they did and are paying the price now along with Rocco. God forbid he should take his own advice. What a jerk. Michael says he has to go.

Sabrrrina asks why Carrrlos is still in Port Charles. He says he couldn’t leave her and the baby, and he’s made arrangements for both of them to leave. She says she’s broken up with Michael, but she still can’t go. She asks why he didn’t go when he said he was going to and he says because he loves her now more than ever. He says if she won’t go with him, he’s turning himself in to Anna and she’s going to kill him like she tried before. Sabrrrina is like, what? because she didn’t know about that, but he doesn’t really explain. He says know that he loves her forever and to tell their child he’s sorry he couldn’t be a father.

Anna says she’s willing to drop the whole thing. Paul says it’s a minor discretion in the grand scheme of things. He says she’s a valuable asset and he’s sure they can work things out, but he has to go. When he’s gone, Jordan asks why Anna lied to him. Anna tells her the mole is Paul.

Lulu tells Johnny time isn’t on his side. Now I have an earworm of Time Is on My Side by The Rolling Stones. He tells her to relax because he’s wrapping it up tonight. He says Valerie will be there soon, so Lulu needs to scoot.

Valerie tells Dante she appreciated his offer of help, but she thinks it’s better for them to keep their distance. She leaves for a run and Nathan gives Dante the eye.

Carrrlos meets Paul at the docks. Paul says he thinks someone is on to them.

Jordan asks what motive Paul would have to help Carrrlos. Anna says she’s not sure, but they need to bring Carrrlos in for interrogation. Anna says they need to focus on Sabrrrina and she wants 24-hours for surveillance and phone tapping.

Michael goes to Sabrrrina’s apartment. Felix answers the door and says he’ll let him in if Michael hears him out. Felix says he thought Sabrrrina would never smile again after losing Gabriel, and Michael had brought joy back into her life. He says obviously Sabrrrina lied, but Michael should have cut her some slack. Michael says he wants to get back together with her, but Felix says it’s too late since she’s gone.

Paul says Carrrlos needs to stay dead to the rest of the world, that it’s the only way to keep him and those he loves safe. He says Carrrlos needs to get on the boat now. Carrrlos says it’s smooth sailing ahead for both of them and that he’s no danger to Paul and neither is anyone he cares about.

When Paul leaves, Sabrrrina shows up at the docks. Sabrrrina says no one knows where she is. Carrrlos says their boat leaves soon and wonders why she doesn’t have a bag. Sabrrrina asks why he was talking to Paul.

Michael leaves a message for Sabrrrina to call him and insists Felix tell him where she is. Felix says that’s not his job and if Sabrrrina doesn’t want to hear from him, he’ll have to live with that.

Jordan tells Anna no way are they tailing Sabrrrina.

Dante tells Nathan that what was between him and Valerie is over and they’re not even friends anymore. And adds that should make everyone happy because he’s such a whiner.

Nina shows Olivia the magazine. Olivia says that her cousin started the magazine and it’s practically a fashion institution. Nina says they need to save the magazine and that they can’t keep doing everything the same old way. Olivia starts to say something critical, but then says who is she to judge.

Johnny pretends to be talking on the phone with someone in the park when Valerie comes by.

Maxie is trying to give out copies of the magazines, but she’s distracted by the secret she’s keeping from Nathan. When Nina asks why she still has magazines left, Maxie kinda sorta tells her about it without telling her. Nina talks about how she has her own background of lies, but they eventually led her to Franco.

Nathan asks if Dante will be able to work with Valerie when she graduates. I don’t get why this is even an issue. Why would Jordan ever schedule them even near each other? Nathan says maybe Dante and Lulu can patch things up and that he should at least try. As if on cue, Lulu comes in.

Valerie asks Johnny what’s up. He says he’s not seeing eye to eye with a tow company. He says he’s got a dead car and they’re telling him it’s an hour wait and he needs to be somewhere. Valerie says she’ll drive him.

Jordan says as soon as she sends a request to the judge, it will tip Paul off. She suggests they work on their own.

Michael says he can’t let Sabrrrina go without telling her he wants to make a family with her. Felix says he doesn’t know where she is. Michael is about to hunt her down, but Felix has an envelope for him. He says Sabrrrina told him to give it to Michael if he came by.

Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina he made a deal with Paul about turning state’s evidence. Sabrrrina asks why he didn’t tell her. He says he was only buying time and that he’d be dead if he testified against Julian. He asks her to please disappear with him. He says Port Charles holds too much pain for the both of them and they should start a new life somewhere else as a family. If she doesn’t want to, I totally volunteer.

Olivia looks through the magazine and tells Nina it’s not bad. Nina gets a call from the circulation manager. She asks if Crimson is a success and from the look on her face, it is. Ha! I knew it.

Lulu tells Dante it’s not a good night for him to pick up Rocco because he has a bug. Dante acts like she must be lying and that she, Dillon and Rocco are cozying up together.  Dante acts like such a freaking idiot, Lulu can’t get out of there fast enough. While Nathan starts to talk to Dante, Maxie comes running in and drags him into the interrogation room. She says she has to tell him something. Nathan says that what he’s been working on has something to do with her. He says Johnny might try to contact her. Funny you should say that, replies Maxie.

Johnny says he doesn’t want to be a bother. Valerie says she owes him one for fixing her car.

Anna knocks on Sabrrrina’s door and there’s no answer. She and Jordan bust in with their guns drawn. The place is empty.

Michael takes the letter to the park to read it. The letter says that the time they spent together was the happiest of her life and he didn’t deserve her lying to him.

Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina the choice is hers and asks if she’s coming. She says yes, and goes with him. All right!

The letter continues about how grateful Sabrrrina is, and that Michael will find someone he deserves. She says she’ll always love him, but she’ll do it from a distance. She says that Port Charles is his home, but not hers, and says good-by.

Tomorrow, Maxie tells on Johnny, and Alexis and Julian make faces at something they’ve discovered.

American Horror Story: Hotel – Random Thoughts

This was a nice finale. It hasn’t been my favorite season – that was Freak Show – nor has it been my least favorite – that was Coven because I thought it was too busy – but Hotel was well crafted and the acting was fabulous. I thought the story was a little repetitive at times, and that if I wanted to watch True Blood, I’d watch True Blood, but it had glorious moments. I loved the serial killers’ dinner, used again in the finale.

Denis O’Hare was wonderful and Lady Gaga was a joy to watch. There was recently some Twitter brouhaha about her getting a Golden Globe and that she lacked acting talent. I didn’t understand that at all. Did we see the same show? I also recently saw her in Machete Kills and she was totally on point. It bothers me that the anonymity of the internet allows people to say appalling things about someone that they would never say to their face. And a total stranger no less. But I digress.

What makes this show great is that whether it’s the best season or the worst, it’s always reborn in the next. So while we bid adieu to the Hotel Cortez, we look forward to whatever wild ride the horror story takes us on next.

January 12, 2016 — GH, BH, Havings & Nots


What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)


General Hospital

Sonny has a bad dream and wakes up to Morgan, another bad dream.

Paul gets a cash delivery at the docks.

Ava is at the MetroCourt and since Kiki is the only waitress there, she has to wait on her.

Dr. Andre gives Jordan a carved jaguar which he says is a symbol of power.

Michael runs into Sabrrrina at Kelly’s. He asks how she is and tells her to let him know if she needs anything. She says it isn’t right for them to act like they’re strangers. Although no stranger has ever offered to provide anything I needed.

Michael says he’ll keep his distance since he doesn’t want to cause Sabrrrina stress. Because that’s the only other alternative. She says that’s not what she means, that she hates the wall between them. He says he wishes he felt differently, but he doesn’t. Ugh! Get rid of this guy already. Michael leaves and Sabrrrina sits down with Anna.

In his dream, Sonny was able to save people and he interprets this to mean that he can handle whatever comes his way. Morgan wants to help with the business. Sonny says if he wants to help to stay on his meds and see his shrink.

Paul says since the first shipment went smoothly, should he expect more? Dude says he’ll keep in touch.

Kiki sits with Ava. Kiki says she can’t sit and chat every time Ava comes in and ignore the other customers. Kiki says she’s grateful that Ava let her take Avery to Sonny’s on Christmas, but it doesn’t wipe the slate clean of all the bad stuff between them. Ava says she doesn’t see the point in rehashing everything. Kiki doesn’t respond well, but then says she’ll set up boundaries so they can have some sort of relationship.

Jordan says she’s suitably impressed. She and Andre make cute small talk and Andre asks her out on a date. She says yes, and he says he’ll call her later.

Morgan says he wants to make sure Sonny is protected, because Sonny was born yesterday and just started in the “coffee” business. Sonny asks how it’s going with the meds, and Morgan says it’s become more manageable, but he doesn’t really like the way they make him feel. Sonny says his doctor will help him find the right balance. Morgan asks how Sonny feels about taking his meds and Sonny says most of the time it’s okay.

Michael comes in and Morgan acts a little snotty and leaves. Sonny asks how Sabrrrina is, and Michael says she misses how they used to be. He says he misses what he imagined things were going to be, but it wasn’t based on anything real. Sonny asks if he’s sure about that.

Sabrrrina says she’s happy everything worked out for Patrick, Anna and Robin. Anna says she noticed the tension between Sabrrrina and Michael. Sabrrrina explains they broke up because Michael isn’t the baby’s father. Anna asks if the father is going to be in her life. She probably has a pretty good idea that it’s Carrrlos.

Ava asks what kind of boundaries Kiki wants. Kiki says if she wants to see her and Avery, she’ll text her, and it should be vice versa. She adds that if it’s a no on Ava’s part, she won’t take it personally, but Ava has to do the same. Ava asks if she wants to go shopping. Kiki gets a text from Morgan and says no. Ava asks what’s up and Kiki says another boundary is not discussing Morgan.

Paul, who’s been having a drink at the bar, sits at Ava’s table. He says she’s going to be happy when she sees what he brought and sets down the briefcase with the money.

Dr. Andre says if Morgan doesn’t take the pills on time, they can’t tell what works properly. He asks if Morgan has been drinking and Morgan says he had like half a beer on New Year’s Eve. Andre chastises him and Morgan says he has a good friend he can turn to. He adds that he doesn’t know where he fits in with his family.

Michael says he can’t get over Sabrrrina lying. Sonny says he knows how Sabrrrina feels because he loves Michael and lied to him as well.  He says Michael shouldn’t be angry with Sabrrrina, and Michael says it’s more like he’s angry with Carrrlos. Sonny tells him Carrrlos is dead and he should bury his anger with him.

Sabrrrina says the baby’s father doesn’t factor in to her situation. She says she loved Michael and wanted to raise the baby with him, so she lied. She says that Michael would have loved the baby regardless, but she couldn’t trust him enough to be honest, so things went sour. Anna prods a little and Sabrrrina admits Carrrlos is the father.

Anna asks if Carrrlos assaulted her. Sabrrrina says no, that he was her first love, and she knows another side to him. She says they spent the night together and she realized her mistake. Later, after she got together with Michael and realized she was pregnant, she hoped it was Michael’s and fooled herself until she had the sonogram. Anna says she understands knowing another side of Carrrlos, and it’s too bad he died before he knew he was a father. Sabrrrina nearly knocks over some tea.

Sonny asks Michael if he can’t understand why Sabrrrina lied when she knew how much he hated Carrrlos.

Andre tells Morgan that there are plenty of bi-polar people who are successful and creative. He says stability is everything, and Morgan has to remind himself to stay away from alcohol and take his meds. Morgan says he wanted to do more with his life than just stay stable. Just wait until you’re a little older, Morgan. You’ll be happy if you can just accomplish stability.

Ava says Paul just gave her a suitcase full of dirty money in a very public place when they’re supposed to be on the down low. Paul says they can pretend it’s an art transaction. Paul tells her about Tracy giving him the heave-ho and he’s living in the hotel now. Ava asks if she gets a key to his room.

Michael says that Sabrrrina doesn’t know him well if she thought he wouldn’t love the baby because of Carrrlos. Sonny says she made a mistake, but Michael has another chance to correct it now.

Anna says something about Duke and Sabrrrina says she’s sorry Carrrlos took Duke away. Anna says Carrrlos paid for it in a roundabout way, but now Sabrrrina has to bear the brunt of everything. She tells Sabrrrina If she ever needs anything, to let her know. She says the best advice she can give is to do what’s right for the baby.

Outside Kelly’s Anna calls Jordan and says she’s coming over because there might be a break in the Carrrlos case.

Michael says he wanted to do something special for his family. Andre says if he could do anything for Sonny, what would it be? Morgan says to run the business, but Sonny says he doesn’t want the kids involved even if he needs him. Andre asks how Morgan can be the person his family can count on? Morgan has to admit that staying stable would be the answer. Morgan says Sonny wants to walk more for his family than himself, and Andre says Morgan should look to Sonny as an example.

Paul says for now they have to keep things strictly business because Tracy is vindictive. He tells Ava there will be another shipment coming in. He leaves and Kiki asks what Paul wanted.

Michael says it’s different now and he doesn’t know if it can work. Sonny says he should think with his heart and not his head, and ask himself what’s going to make him happy.

Sabrrrina leaves Kelly’s and calls Carrrlos, leaving a message for him to call her right away.

Anna tells Jordan about what Sabrrrina told her. She says when she mentioned Carrrlos’s death, Sabrrrina practically freaked out. She thinks that Sabrrrina knows Carrrlos isn’t dead. Anna suggests they monitor her phone calls.

Ava tells Kiki that Paul is an art collector, but to keep it under wraps because that’s how art collectors are. Really? Morgan butts in, asking if Ava is bothering Kiki. Ava says no. Morgan says thanks for bringing Avery by on Christmas. Ava says maybe they can all act civilized for once and Morgan says anything can happen.

Morgan and Kiki talk on the side and he says he’s feeling better.

Some guy (Raj?) comes up to Ava and says that he saw Morgan on the pier on New Year’s and he seemed too interested in what’s going on.

Tomorrow, Carrrlos is still in Port Charles, Valerie acts like an ass to Olivia, and someone (Johnny?) sneaks up on Lulu.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace and Jeffrey have the police knocking at their door, while Quincy’s dead body is still lying there. Candace says she’ll handle things. Jeffrey wants to get the body off the floor first, but Candace answers the door. Luckily, she’s in a towel, which is pretty distracting for the officer, who asks her to put some clothes on.

She puts on her robe and asks what the problem is. The officer says they got a call from a neighbor. He says frankly she calls them a lot, but they have to come when she does. He says the car across the street (Quincy’s car) needs to be parked in front of her place due to homeowner association rules. He asks her to move the car asap, or the neighbor will be calling them all night.

Candace tells Jeffrey they need to find Quincy’s keys. He says he can’t do it. What a wimp this dude turned out to be. Candace says if she doesn’t move the car, the officer is going to come in. Jeffrey starts to cy and I want to slap him silly. Candace says she’ll get the keys, but then he has to move the car. He says he can handle that much. Candace rifles through Quincy’s pockets. She finds the keys and useless Jeffrey is freaking out. She tells him he has to be cool and The Jets Song from West Side Story plays in my head.

Jeffrey takes the keys and barely shuffles to the door. Come on, dude, grow a pair. Jeffrey heads to the car. The officer asks if Jeffrey is her boyfriend and she says he’s just a friend. A friend who is obviously having a problem. The officer asks Candace way too many questions and seems to know way too much about Candace. It turns out the nosey neighbor has clued him in and she’s also the officer’s mother.

Jeffrey seems to have a problem starting the car and barely gets it across the street, but then drives away. The officer asks if he’s okay and if he’s been drinking. Candace says he’s just tired. When the officer offers to help, she says he’s been having problems with his mother because he’s gay, and it’s better if he doesn’t. Candace distracts him with a bunch of nonsense and flirting. It doesn’t seem like he’s buying it though. And I have no clue where Jeffrey went with the car.

Nosey mom comes out and asks where the “other guy” is and tells the officer that Candace has had four guys visiting since she moved in. What a scandal! Since the officer is probably used to this, he just leaves.

Quincy’s sister, the woman who was trying to call him, is looking for him. She asks a group of guys hanging out on the street if they’ve seen him, but no one has. The group hears about the arrests regarding the car cover up. One of the guys talks about killing the lawyer, although I don’t know how this bunch of strangers suddenly got involved, and I don’t know if he means Jennifer the DA, Veronica, Candace or what.

Benny comes over to the hotel to see Hanna. He says she can’t stay there forever and asks her to come home. She says her home burned down and she doesn’t want to talk about it. She tells Benny to go home, but he says he has something to say. He says no one loves her like he does, and he didn’t tell her the truth because he wanted to protect her. Hanna says he can’t protect her with a lie. He says she didn’t tell him who his father was to protect him. That’s right. It’s always different when it’s you.

He tries to talk about Candace, but Hanna doesn’t want to hear it. He says he never wanted Hanna in harm’s way. Hanna says she’s not going back to the house until she knows where Candace got the money. Benny says he’ll find out, but Hanna says Candace will just tell him another lie, so she wants to be there. She asks him to leave and he says he’ll come back later to talk. She says she loves him, but she’s still mad at him.

Kathryn tells Veronica she’s never been locked up before. She says Jim was sure he could scare their son straight, but instead it backfired. She doesn’t know what happened to make him this angry. Veronica says prison is pretty rough. Kathryn asks if there’s rape by other inmates. When Veronica says yes, she says she thought the guards are supposed to prevent that, and wonders if that’s what happened to Wyatt. She talks about a time at camp when he came home angry and she knew something was wrong. She says she’s going to discuss it with Jim, who let their daughter die, and if she finds out anything happened to Wyatt, God help Jim.

Kathryn says her father was a ruthless man and she takes after him. She says that if she finds out anything happened, there will be no escaping her wrath, just like she handled the camp incident. Veronica suggests she just let it go, that Jim is going through enough rightnow. Kathryn wonders why she cares all of a sudden.

Back at the Cryer house, Wyatt is having one helluva party all by his lonesome. Guzzling alcohol, playing loud music and air guitar in his underwear. Jeffrey calls. Wyatt says he and the DA have been trying to reach him. When Jeffrey asks what he’s talking about, Wyatt reminds him about the immunity deal. Jeffrey wants to come over, but Wyatt says he’s expecting company. Wyatt asks if Jeffrey’s been drinking and he says he has, and he’s coming over. I don’t see any company, and if somebody’s coming, Wyatt is going to be passed out by the time they get there.

The DA visits Jim and David’s cell. Jim gripes about not being allowed a phone call. Jennifer asks to see David and David says he doesn’t want to cut a deal. Jennifer says he doesn’t even know what it is and he says, yes he does. David has to choice but to go with her.

David and Jennifer sit in the interrogation room. Jennifer says Jim is going down, and asks if David is willing to crash and burn with him. She says she misses him and I go, what? Jennifer offers him immunity for testifying against Jim. David wants immunity for Veronica too. Jennifer says she hates Veronica and was tempted to tell her. Tell her what?! David says too bad, and Jennifer says okay, Veronica can walk too. Jennifer says David is loyal to a fault. She talks about the night of the fire and how she knows Veronica tried to kill him. And she says that she still loves him. Holy Christmas! She’s suddenly all over him like an animal. (He’s in handcuffs BTW.) Man, this show never ceases to startle me. He’s like, woman, get a grip and she finally gets off of him. She tells him to take the deal. David says no and she says she has no choice then. She calls an officer to bring David back to his cell. Wow.

David goes back to the cell and Jim asks what the deal was. David tells him and he asks why David didn’t take the deal. David says that’s not what friends do. Jim says Veronica tried to destroy Kathryn, although I’m not sure what he means by that unless it’s because of what she had done to Wyatt in prison. David says he’s done a lot for Jim and Jim calms down a little, realizing that David is his friend. David asks if he’s going to try to get even. Jim says not this time because David stood by him. He asks David to promise him that he’ll punish Veronica in some way. He says it would be better coming from David because he loves Veronica and it will be fair and if he does it, there will be no love. He says sometimes you have to punish people you love and I think he’s confusing this word with discipline or maybe he’s just nuts. David says he won’t do it and Jim says he’ll extend the olive branch one more time.

The same officer who was at Candace’s pulls Jeffrey over and asks  for the license and registration. Jeffrey says he doesn’t have it and that it’s a friend’s car. The officer asks him to step out of the car and asks if he’s been drinking. Jeffrey says no, but the cop can smell it. He says he can also smell a burned out clutch. He makes Jeffrey do the finger to nose test and he fails miserably. Then, because it’s not bad enough, the officer notices blood on Jeffrey’s shirt. He puts Jeffrey in the back of the squad car.

But Candace’s evening is no better. She has Quincy’s body to deal with by herself. Not that Jeffrey was any help. Note to self: Do not commit a crime with Jeffrey as an accomplice.

When Candace turns her back, Quincy grabs her ankle.

A lot happens next week too. I need to recover from this week now.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Okay, it was the intro reel from last week’s episode, but it’s still a gratuitous Giggy shot and I love him.

It’s dinner hour at the Bella Magazine party. LisaV says she’s very flattered about being on the cover of a magazine at her age. LisaV and LisaR discuss a couple they knew for a long time who suddenly divorced. Prophetic of Yolanda and David. LisaV asks Eileen a bunch of questions about how she met her third (and hopefully final) husband, Vince. It sounds like an interview for Soap Opera Digest, and it’s making Eileen uncomfortable. I can understand both sides. In her individual interview, LisaR says that whether she knows it or not, LisaV is being insensitive. I have to side with her on that, but Eileen should just say something. Kyle toasts the magazine cover.

Bethenny calls Kyle; they’ve been friends for a long time. They make plans to meet.

The ladies have a wine tasting scheduled. Giggy! Ken looks hung over.

Giggy is coming to the wine tasting and I’m thrilled. Eileen says she still feels uncomfortable, which is too bad because they’re all in the same limo and it’s not that big. The vineyard is gorgeous and they go to an outside, covered table.

LisaR is curious to meet Erika after googling a video she made. LisaV says she’s being a prude. LisaR says she doesn’t want to meet Erika and think of her behind up in the air. Everyone watches the video on LisaR’s phone. Even though LisaR hit the nail on the head by saying it’s just a performance, it still makes her uncomfortable somehow. Geez. It could be a lot worse. A lot. Bees join the party, and some of the girls take off running.

Kyle is going to Bethenny’s early and the others are meeting her there. Erika arrives. She says she’s tired (she just flew in from performing in Chicago at Gay Pride – we get a glimpse), but she’s ready to rock and roll. Eileen says they watched her Painkillr video, and she explains it’s a character. She has to explain this to adults? And BTW, LisaR has posed for Playboy, even though she’s all weird about this. Kyle leaves for Bethenny’s. Erika says being with the Beverly Hills wives is a lot different than being amongst the gays. Is this something else you have to explain to adults?

Erika says she spoke to Yolanda, and tells the ladies about Yolanda’s surgery. She says this might be the key to Yolanda’s illness and I agree 100%.

David is playing nurse and pretends to care. LisaV calls. She’s on speaker and Yolanda tells her how things went.  David jokes that Ken’s breasts are bigger and I don’t laugh even a little bit. Lisa wishes her well and says she hopes that this is the answer. Yolanda says she’s not coughing for the first time in years, so her immune system has improved. How healthy can you be with silicone floating around in you?

Kyle gets to Bethenny’s place, which is of course fabulous. There’s even a separate beach house with a bar that she redesigned with reclaimed wood. It’s amazing how Bethenny took herself from nothing to a skabillionaire. She asks Kyle about Kim, and Kyle says people can pry too much and be judgmental. Kyle starts to tear up, saying that her mom wanted them to stick together, but it’s not always easy. Kyle says she doesn’t feel weird about Bethenny asking her questions because she’s known her and Kim for so long. They go over some old times.

Kyle tells her about Erika and her husband. Then shows her the video. Ha-ha! Bethenny’s reaction is priceless. Bethenny says that’s a lot of upkeep. Kyle says it’s Erica’s alter-ego.

The ladies pick up LisaV and Ken on their way to Bethenny’s. Giggy! Both Lisas have met Bethenny before. Bethenny has cocktails ready. Bethenny says she’s jealous of Erika’s alter-ego and Erika says not many people get to live two lives. Ken makes himself scarce and I don’t blame him.

Erika goes to the bathroom and Bethenny says she likes Erika, but makes rude jokes while she’s gone, which Eileen isn’t thrilled about. The ladies sit down to lunch and go over more old times. They’re amazed at time flying. Welcome to the club.

They talk about Erika’s video like she’s not there. Bethenny starts talking branding. Suddenly LisaR isn’t feeling well, like seriously nauseous, and says she’s calling it a day. It sounds like she might have food poisoning. They play the video for Bethenny. She says she doesn’t like the production value and goes on about every detail. Erika says everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but she doesn’t agree. LisaV says Bethenny has good advice but needs to sweeten her delivery. They discuss the whole alter-ego thing. In her individual interview, Kyle says Bethenny often gives unsolicited advice. I like Bethenny, but both ladies are sooo right. Erika says she doesn’t know anything about margaritas or being skinny, and doesn’t tell Bethenny how to do her Skinny Girl gig.

Erika gives Bethenny a dance lesson. Okay. Bethenny rips her pants and Erika says it’s not as easy as it looks and that’s what Bethenny gets. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

The next day LisaR and Eileen get together. Eileen talks about how LisaV grilled her and how uncomfortable it made her. Giggy! The other ladies and Ken are on their way to meet them. Eileen says LisaV isn’t stupid and she can’t figure out why she would do that. I do think she was just genuinely interested, and Eileen should have said something. But in lieu of that, I agree with LisaR saying Eileen needs to talk to her.

In her individual interview, Erika says LisaV is the self-appointed leader and enjoys making people feel uncomfortable. I think she’s just nosy and if you assert yourself, she’ll back off.  They get to the house and Erika talks about Bethenny’s comments. She wonders if Bethenny is being a bitch or being jealous.

Eileen asks LisaV for an aside talk. She says maybe she’s being over-sensitive, but when Lisa asked her about Vince, it made her uneasy. She brings up when Brandi called her a home wrecker. Lisa says she’s nothing like Brandi and Eileen should have said something. (What did I say?) Lisa says she apologizes if she asked too many questions, but Eileen should never answer what she doesn’t want to. Eileen says she’ll do that next time, but she feels like Lisa turned things around on her.

Next time, Bethenny apologizes to Erika, Eileen tells a sad story, and Yolanda comes home.