Monthly Archives: February 2016

February 28, 2016 — The Dead & Nothing But the Dead


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The only show with enough guts to air a new episode opposite The Who-Cares-What-Number-It-Is Academy Awards. AMC’s Walking Dead, we salute you!

The Walking Dead

Abe is telling camel stories to Sasha, while they check out the perimeter of Alexandria. They talk about Maggie having a baby. I’m thinking maybe Abe wants to have one with Sasha. When he says he’ll see her tomorrow, she says she’s taking a new shift. She says Eugene wants to help more, so he’s going to be walking with Abe. He changes it to see you around.

Abe is in bed with Rosita. I’m confused. Was he dreaming or was that a memory? Rosita tosses him a necklace that she made for him. He tells her she’s damn near perfection. Why not total perfection? Something in the necklace makes him think of giving the victory sign to Sasha.

Maggie and Glenn are doing something with the garden. Someone is sneaking around and they follow.

Paul is in Rick’s house and Carl draws a gun on him. Paul (introducing himself as Jesus, so I guess we’ll go with that now) says he’s waiting for Carl And Michonne. Two seconds later, everyone is there for a meeting. Jesus gives them a scorecard of Alexandria and what they’ve got going on as far as supplies and other assets. He says they got off to a bad start, but they’re on the same side. He says he’s from a place like Alexandria and he scouts for others. He admits he misjudged them, thinking they weren’t good people and he wants to make amends now. He talks about the settlement where he’s from, Hilltop, and says they’ve started breeding livestock.

Maggie asks if they’ve thrown in with other groups, and Jesus says their world is about to get a whole lot bigger. Cool! I’m excited to see new people.

Rick and the gang are going with Jesus to Hilltop. Denise gives Daryl an oatcake for the road. Carl wonders what’s up with Rick and Michonne. Rick says he was going to tell him, but it just happened. Carl says it’s cool. Carl is staying behind this time and says he’ll keep an eye on Baby Judith.

Abe asks Glenn something about Bisquick and pancakes. What he’s really asking about is Maggie’s pregnancy. Abe tells Glenn that if he sees rain coming, he wears galoshes. Can’t this guy speak English? Dr. Phil would probably understand him.

Rick sees a crashed RV. It’s some of Jesus’s group. There’s blood everywhere and the crash victims have turned into zombies. At first, Rick thinks Jesus set them up, but Jesus says they don’t have many fighters in their group and whoever else was in the RV is in trouble. Rick says he’ll look for them, but Jesus is staying behind with Maggie, who has orders to shoot him if he gets weird.

Rick and company go into a totally dark building where you can hear zombies lurking about. They tell the live people to hang tight. Abe nearly kills one of them because it’s really hard to tells who’s who in the dark.

Back in the RV, one of the rescued guys introduces himself as Harlan. It turns out he’s an obstetrician, which is good news for Maggie and Glenn. Jesus’s friend Freddy, the guy Abe almost killed, is still freaked out. His wife had been killed and she came back as a zombie.

Uh-oh, the RV is stuck in the mud. Jesus is like, it’s okay, we’re close enough. They get out and see the compound on the hilltop. Apparently, they’re not too original with names.

Jesus tells the lookout to open the gates. The lookout says to drop the weapons, but Jesus tells him the group saved them and he trusts them. He asks Rick to trust his group in return. Lookout guy opens the gates.

Harlan says see you on the flipside and takes Freddy for a look-see. Ha-ha! Jesus says a lot of people came from a FEMA camp. I’ll bet that was scarier than the zombie apocalypse. At the center of the settlement is a Colonial mansion. Jesus says it was a historical site that kids visited on field trips back in the day. It’s some house.

Ha-ha! again. When they go inside, a guy comes out and says “Jesus, you’re back,” a sentence you could take more then one way. His name is Gregory and he says he’s the boss. He suggests Rick and friends tidy up and they’ll meet after.

Abe asks Daryl how long Rick and Michonne have been together (5 minutes?) and if he’s thought of settling down.

Rick sends Maggie to Gregory’s office to negotiate. Gregory says he had visited the place when it was a museum and little did he know one day it would be his. Well, sort of. He thanks her for saving the doctor. She asks how they’ve survived at Hilltop. He says they’re good at it and they don’t sweat the details. They talk about gardens and Maggie brings up a trade. Gregory says he’s happy to help, but he can’t give things away for free. He says they can work there for their share.

Um…I think he’s making a pass at her. Yes he is. Maggie tells him to knock it off. She says hilltop is low on medication and their communities can help each other.

Jesus tells Rick and Daryl that Gregory is going to want the best deal possible. Rick says they need food and they didn’t come all this way not to get it. Jesus says he’ll talk to Gregory. He says right now Hilltop is going well, but tomorrow it could be Alexandria. He asks for a few days.

Some guy comes in and says “they’re back.” A negotiation with Negan has gone wrong with people getting killed and being held hostage. A hostage’s brother (who is wearing a man bun — no, just no) has been returned along with a message from Negan in the form of said brother stabbing Gregory in the stomach. Everything goes nuts, Abe is being strangled, Daryl breaks the guy’s arm, man bun holds a knife to Rick’s throat. Rick turns the tables on him though, slicing man bun’s jugular vein.

Some woman knocks Rick in the head and Michonee knocks her down. Jesus says Negan was their friend, but now he’s nothing except a coward attacking them. Gregory is still just lying there bleeding. Geez. Jesus tells Rick things aren’t as simple as they seem and to give him some time.

The doctor is able to patch Gregory up. Negan is head of a group called The Saviors. They made demands and threats to Hilltop, and beat one of the children to death in front of everyone because Negan wanted them to understand where he was coming from. Gregory isn’t the best at confrontation and agreed to give Negan half of everything in exchange for Hilltop not being slaughtered. Daryl asks how many people Negan has. Jesus says they don’t know, but they’ve seen groups with as many as twenty. Daryl says they can take him out, but he wants an exchange. Jesus says he’ll take it to Gregory.

Rick says Gregory’s people have food, they don’t, and they need to trade their services in exchange. Jesus says Gregory wants to talk to Maggie.

Maggie goes to Gregory’s room where he’s recuperating. She says he’s lucky they were there. She asks if Jesus told him about the deal and says in exchange for supplies, they’ll get rid of Negan and The Saviors. Will work for food. Gregory says Jesus will make the arrangements. He also says it’s fun and exciting because he doesn’t get out much. Maggie says if they continue with Negan, pretty soon they won’t have anything. She wants half of what he has right now or the deal is off.

Gregory tells her she has a deal. He asks if she wants anything else and she says yes. She wants some of the Hilltop people to go with them.

Rick loads the RV with supplies. He asks one of the Hilltoppers (Hilltopites?) to come with them because he needs someone who knows Negan’s layout. Jesus is coming along too, just for the hell of it.

Maggie gets an ultrasound.

The RV leaves the compound. Glenn passes around the sonogram photo.

Next week, Rick decides on a strategy to come for The Saviors before The Saviors come for them.

February 26, 2016 — GH, GH & a New Couch


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Usually, I post this on Friday, but it was postponed due to need for sleep.

General Hospital — Thursday

Morgan is now restrained in a hospital bed. Michael comes in and tells him it’s just a precaution. Morgan asks how Kiki is and Michael tells him no one knows yet.

Griffin tells Ava he’ll be doing the surgery. Ava asks if Kiki will recover, and Griffin says they’ll do everything they can.

Hayden is at the pier and runs into Curtis.

Jason and Monica are at Shiners Hospital visiting Jake. More advertising for the hospital. Monica says she admires Jake putting away his differences with Elizabeth for Jake’s sake. She says if it weren’t for Jake and Jason, she’d never talk to Elizabeth again. Elizabeth the sneak, who has come in behind them, says she doesn’t blame her.

Laura asks Dante how Lulu is and he says she should make a full recovery. Laura thanks him for saving Lulu’s life. He says he loves Lulu with everything in him, and Lulu and their son is all that matters to him. Lulu hears him.

Monica starts to apologize, but Elizabeth stops her. She thanks Monica for her kindness to Jake. Elizabeth says the hospital set her up in Jake’s room and they’re still evaluating the tests, after which, they’ll come up with a treatment plan.

Michael says Kiki is stabilized. Not so Morgan. He insists on seeing her and Michael says there’s nothing he can do. He asks if Michael knew Sonny could walk the whole time.

Griffin says they have to remove the bullet fragments. Ava asks if Kiki is going to be paralyzed, but it’s too early to tell.

Lulu asks about Rocco and Laura says he’s fine at Windemere. She leaves and Lulu tells Dante how scared she was. He says it’s going to be okay and she says, is it?

Hayden tells Curtis she was just getting air. Curtis says, at a crime scene? She says she just happened to come upon it while she was walking. Curtis says he likes her and she’s been one of his favorite clients. She says their business is concluded now, but they continue to talk.

Nicholas tells Laura things could have been a lot worse and Hayden is fine just in case she was wondering. He says he thinks the melee at the wedding triggered memories of what happened to her last spring. Laura asks if that’s a polite euphemism, and what happened to Hayden was that Nicholas tried to have her killed.

Dante asks Lulu why Raj threw her in the water. She says he said something about a shipment and had seen a problem on the pier. He didn’t want any witnesses, and pushed her in.

Ava tells Franco that Paul blackmailed her into using her gallery as a front for the arms shipment. She says he told her he had a taped confession and threatened to use it against her. Franco asks if she knew Paul was working undercover. She says it doesn’t matter. She let herself get roped into something that hurt Kiki.

Morgan talks about how he wanted to prove himself to Sonny. Michael says he should have called someone. Morgan says he had the thugs where he wanted them and Kiki came in the middle.

Nicholas says all he can do now is make it right with Hayden. Laura asks if that’s why he married her.

Curtis says it’s understandable that Hayden’s memories about being shot should be stirred up. He suggests she talk to her husband

Jason tells Monica that Elizabeth has taken responsibility for her actions and he wants to put it past them and would like her to do the same. Elizabeth apologizes to Monica. She accepts and says she wants to move on for Jake. Elizabeth tells Jason that Jake failed to grasp that they weren’t together anymore because she didn’t want to see it. The same way she didn’t want to see that Jake was really behind the break-ins at the house.

Dante asks Lulu if she can describe Raj. She says yes, and he says he’ll bring in a sketch artist.

Hayden asks how Curtis knew she was married, and he says he couldn’t help but notice the huge rock on her finger. She tells him she married Nicholas, but she doesn’t want to discuss the shooting with him because it makes her vulnerable. Curtis asks if he wanted her dead.

Laura asks what if Hayden finds out the truth? Nicholas says for all she knows, she just got caught in the crossfire of Sean’s gun. Laura wonders why she would marry him.

Jason says he knew Jake was having a hard time, but didn’t know what it was about. Elizabeth says Jake was picking up on her anger and disappointment. She says she was so busy rationalizing and justifying her actions, she missed what was going on with him. Jason says the best they can do now is stand by Jake while he heals. Elizabeth suggests they need some healing of their own. Jason says they should try to be the friends they were before anybody knew who he really was.

Morgan acts normal until Michael leaves. Then he tries to get out of the restraints. He presses the button for the nurse and tells her he needs to relieve himself. She says she’ll get a urinal bottle. He says the idea of her holding a bottle is traumatizing and it would make things worse for him. He asks if he can just use the restroom real quick. The nurse says he knows the protocol, but finally gives in because she’s a total pushover who doesn’t know her job.

Ava talks about seeing Kiki hooked up to the machines. She compares Kiki to Connie, and how Ava took her life like it was nothing. She says it isn’t Morgan’s fault Kiki was shot, it’s hers. She thinks Kiki is paying for what she’s done wrong, and her punishment is watching Kiki hover between life and death.

Morgan suddenly appears and Ava gets loud. Franco tells him being sorry doesn’t help and to go back to his room. He disappears as quickly as he came and a doctor comes out with a Kiki update.

Elizabeth says blah blah blah, and Jason says he meant it when he said let’s put things behind them. Probably because he wants her to stop talking.

Hayden asks why she would marry someone who tried to have her killed. Curtis says it beats him and wonders if being a princess is that important. Hayden says that’s not it. Curtis says if Nicholas finds out she knows, he could finish the job. She says she has proof the shot didn’t come from Shawn’s gun and she might need it as leverage in the future. Curtis asks her please not to say she’s in love with Nicholas.

Laura is concerned that Hayden is going to take advantage of Nicholas. Nicholas tells Laura that as much as he loves Hayden, he’ll protect himself and Spencer at the first sign of any trouble.

Nicholas visits Lulu. He says given everything that’s happened, does she think that she and Dante can tear up the divorce papers and start over.

The doctor says removing the bullet fragments is more complicated than anticipated and that Griffin will let them know the prognosis later.

Commercial break. Mostly for Shriners Hospitals. If you’d like to donate, here are the links: and

Elizabeth said owning up to things freed her. She asks Jason what’s next. He says doing his best to be a good father to Jake and Danny. He says he loves the other kids too and would like to be involved in their lives. He also says he has a lot of money so he won’t have to shovel snow anymore. He says he knows a lot more than he did last year at this time, so that’s a positive.

Curtis says great, Hayden’s giving her heart to the man who put her in a coma. She says it isn’t like that anymore. Curtis says to keep his number just in case she needs a bodyguard, and she should turn in her prince before he turns on her. He says he doesn’t want to read about her in the newspaper.

Lulu says just because Dante rescued her, doesn’t mean their troubles disappeared. Nicholas says she and Rocco are welcome to stay at Windemere for as long as they like, but asks if she’d try to welcome Hayden into the family.

No surprise, Morgan has disappeared. Dante asks Michael if he needs help, but Michael wants to look for Morgan himself, since Morgan is so easily jazzed. And why he’s not under sedation, I have no clue. Michael goes to look for him and the doctor tells Dante that Lulu is going to be released.

Ava goes down Memory Lane about Kiki as a toddler. She says Kiki has always been too fearless and wonders why she’d throw her life away for Morgan. I wonder that too.

Monica says Jake is still sleeping, but the doctor’s would like to discuss a treatment plan with Elizabeth and Jason. Elizabeth tells Monica that she and Jake talked, and they’ve decided their relationship is to be good parents to Jake. Monica says without her, Jason might not have survived the accident.

Hayden shows up at the hospital. She and Nicholas hug.

Dante tells Lulu she’s being released. She can’t wait to see Rocco and says she was afraid she’d never see him again. Dante says they have a lot to t alk about and work through, but asks if she and Rocco would like to come home with him. She says sorry, but she’d be more comfortable at Windemere for now.

Michael fills Ava and Franco in on what happened at the pier. Ava says she knew Kiki must have been protecting Morgan. Michael asks if they’ve seen Morgan. Franco says he showed up, but he thinks Morgan went back to his room. Michael says if they need any help, o let him know. Franco says keeping Morgan away from Kiki is the only help they need.

Ava says she prayed all night, begging for Kiki’s life and wonders why God would listen to her. Franco says because she was praying for something other than herself. They pray together and I alost start crying. Griffin approaches them.

Idiot Morgan goes to the roof of the hospital. How come no one is looking for him, since he’s a suicide risk? It’s been like a half hour. He teeters on the edge of the roof.

Tomorrow, Paul tells Jordan she can’t arrest Ava, Andre calls out the idiot nurse who let Morgan loose, and Morgan is found.

General Hospital — Friday

Obrecht is singing a lullaby in German to Nathan. Nina is like, that’s nice, but unnecessary, especially since Nathan doesn’t know German.

Paul holds a press conference, telling the people how the arms deal was foiled and Port Charles is safer now.

Andre tells Sonny that Morgan has been admitted under his care. He says Morgan is in restraints. Fat lot of good that did. Sonny balks at that and Andre says it beats the alternative — jail. Carly says Morgan isn’t understanding that he’s a danger to himself and others.

Morgan teeters at the edge of the roof, babbling about Kiki.

Griffin asks to speak to Ava in private. She says she just wants information as to whether Kiki is okay or not.

Morgan sees Kiki on the roof. I assume this is a delusion, since she’s still pretty bad off.

Nathan tries to get out of bed. Obrecht says they’ll put a security guy outside if necessary. Nina says she’ll pay for it and she and Obrecht leave.

Jordan says Paul fed the reporters a bunch of bull to make himself look good. She says he didn’t bother to notify any of the local authorities of his plans to bust the gun ring. He says he is a local authority and the PCPD wasn’t exactly shiny clean before he got there. Jordan brings up both Nathan and Kiki. She says he also needs to finish the job.

Paul is like, what? and Jordan says what about the local contact, since the crates were labeled Jerome Gallery.

Morgan tells “Kiki” how sorry he is. He realizes she’s bleeding and all of a sudden she removes a bullet from herself, asking if Morgan did this to her.

Griffin tells Ava that they were able to remove the bullet without damaging the spinal cord, but her future mobility is uncertain.

Carly says Morgan should have been committed and Kiki was shot because they left Morgan to his own devices. Andre says he’s in the hospital now and his medication will be adjusted. He also suggests frequent blood tests to make sure he’s taking it. And more therapy. Carly asks what if he won’t comply? Andre says if he doesn’t, Morgan will go to prison. Sonny doesn’t like that, but Andre says it’s all the leverage they’ve got.

Fantasy Kiki asks if this happened because of Morgan. He says she wasn’t supposed to be there and she brings up the phone message he left. He gets ready to jump again, saying no one can help him. Kiki says she can, the only way to stop the pain is to end it and they’ll do it together. She takes his hand.

Paul says he’ll deal with Ava in his own time, in his own way. He says obviously Jordan is feeling left out and Jordan says she has every right to be involved. She has a warrant for Ava’s arrest, but thinks there’s more to the story and she’s going to get it from Ava. Paul says the case is bigger than the local PCPD and she can’t arrest Ava. Jordan says watch.

Real Kiki is going to ICU. Griffin tells Ava that Kiki is young, strong and has people that love her, so have faith.

Obrecht points out Ava and Franco hugging, and tells Nina that Franco needs her attention. Wise move.

Carly tells Sonny she’s terrified for Morgan, and that because of the guns, Kiki is fighting for her life. Sonny again says they’re not his guns. Carly says it’s still not normal the way he runs his life. Sonny might as well go legit, since we don’t know what he really does anyway. For all I know, he hangs out in the park all day.

Andre calls out Nurse Ashley for her terrible nursing. Obrecht says someone is fooling around on the roof.

Fantasy Kiki tells Morgan if he ends it, there’s no more pain. One more step, and both of their suffering will be ended. They get ready to jump, Morgan says he’s ready. Michael pops out of the roof door and asks, ready for what? Are all of Sonny’s kids this stupid?

Maxie says she hopes Nathan isn’t soured on weddings because there’s still one more to go. He asks who’s getting married. Maxie gets in the bed with him, and asks him to marry her.

Franco tells Ava the doctor was probably lowering her expectations so he looks like a genius when Kiki recovers. Nina gives Ava Kiki’s jewelry for safe-keeping.

Paul comes in and says he’s sorry to Ava. Ava says it’s all his fault and she’s going to kill him. Not so loud, Ava.

Carly goes to the bathroom to wash the blood off of her hands. She spaces out, thinking about the events at the pier.

Michael tells Morgan he’s been looking for him and what is he doing on that ledge. Fantasy Kiki tells him to get rid of Michael. Michael asks who he was talking to. Morgan says Kiki, but Michael tells him he’s in ICU. Morgan says to go away, he wants to be alone. Andre pops out and Morgan starts talking about killing himself. It’s getting like Grand Central Station up on that roof.

Kiki is scrubbing her hands like a maniac. Griffin comes in and asks if she’s all right. She tells him no.

Morgan says every day is worse and he wants to stop hurting people. Andre says if he commits suicide that everyone will want to know why. Morgan says the pills were supposed to fix everything an they didn’t.Andre says give it more time.Morgan talks about his ED and says what kind of life is that, so he went off the pills to prove he’s a man with a purpose and then did stupid things. He talks about Darby, Kiki, and what happened at the pier. He says he screwed up and Kiki was shot because of him. Andre says it’s a lot to think about, but think about a time he was happy, before he felt like he was down a hole.

Morgan talks about seeing his baby sister. Andre says it wasn’t that long ago and he can get back to that. Sonny pops out and says he can fight his way out of the hole.

Maxie says she realizes that she was on an anti-marriage tear, but things are different now. She loves Nathan and wants a future with him. He says he loves her too, but no.

Ava goes crazy on Paul. Paul says she won’t do Kiki any good in jail and asks to speak with her privately.

Carly asks Griffin how Kiki is. He says she’s off to a good start, but that’s as much as he can say. Carly says yeah, doctor/patient confidentiality like he had with Sonny. She asks if he knew that Sonny was keeping his progress a secret to better fight his enemies. She asks how the Hippocratic Oath and “do no harm” is working for him.

Anna asks Jordan if she’s going to arrest Ava since Paul isn’t too keen on it. Jordan says Anna knows more since she was working with Paul behind her back. Anna says she learned about the shipment five minutes before it happened and there are a lot of loose ends. Jordan says she’s going after Paul for the Carrrlos cover-up. Anna says if she does that, she’ll have to arrest Anna too.

Paul tells Ava that Jordan is planning to arrest her. Ava says if she goes down, she’s taking him with her.

Morgan babbles about Kiki and Sonny tries to talk him down. Sonny says he knows how Morgan feels and that he wanted to do the same thing at one time, but now he’s living proof that you can find a way out. He asks if Morgan wants to hurt his family. Sonny gets on the ledge with him. He says if Morgan jumps, they’re jumping together. Then Michael pushes them both off he roof. Not really. Just seeing if you’re paying attention.

Nathan says maybe one day he’ll marry Maxie, when she really wants to get married. He reminds her of what she said on Valentine’s Day. She says things have changed. He says that’s only because he got shot. He wants her to want to get married on her own free will and he wants to get it right because she’s worth it.

Anna tells Jordan about how Paul caused the Carrrlos trail to go cold, and there’s been no arrest for Duke’s murder. She asks for more time and tells Jordan she’ll have more people to arrest than she knows what to do with. Anna begs her for a few weeks. She says she wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t vital to the case. Jordan says okay, but she’d better not regret it and Anna is pushing the limits of their friendship.

Griffin says he heard about the violence and wondered if he played a role. He wondered if it would have been different if he hadn’t kept Sonny’s secret. Carly says a lot of people were to blame, including herself, but not him. He gets a text that Kiki is going to ICU. He tells Carly that he doesn’t see a failure, but a woman struggling to do what’s right for her family, but it’s not easy considering Sonny’s line of work.

Morgan says Sonny has no reason to jump. Sonny says Morgan is the reason, because if he jumps, sonny has failed as a father and he’ll die of a broken heart anyway. He says we either jump or go back in and be with family and friends. Morgan steps down.

Paul tells Ava they’re on the same side. She says only because he forced her. Griffin comes to get Ava she tells Paul she doesn’t care what he does, just deal with it.Ava goes in to see Kiki.

Maxie says she supposes Nathan is right. He’s getting drowsy and she leaves.

Jordan tells Paul she has a warrant for Ava’s arrest. He asks to see it and then rips it up. He tells Jordan Ava was cooperating with the justice department the whole time and has immunity. Bye, Felicia…I mean, Jordan.

Ava speaks to Kiki even though she’s unconscious, telling her that her mother will be right there. Then she sings All Through the Night while we see what everyone is doing.

Sonny brings Morgan back to the hospital ward and Carly hugs him. Andre takes him back to his room. Lots of pondering from everyone.

Next week, the question of who is Claudette is posed, Jason asks about the Jake’s surgery, and Anna says go ahead and arrest her.

People’s Couch Quotes

We have a new couple this week, Budd and Mackenna, who are boyfried/girlfriend. They seem funny and cute and have a large dog which is always a plus with me.

Dogs played a part in this week’s episode, since the Couches watched the Westminster Dog Show. Joe, of the Resnick family, brought in a special guest for the occasion, a sweet, plump, older Pug, who seemed to react only when there were dogs who looked similar to him on the screen. A couple of the Couch’s dogs did tricks, with Mackenna’s dog throwing up and eating it slightly off camera (thank you), proving once again how pets are out to embarrass you; and Peewee, who watches TV with Julie and Brandy, giving a demonstration of humping his toy penguin. Although he was egged on by Julie.

Does no one else see that Kanye West is doing an entire fashion line from this look? Scott, referring to the zombies in The Walking Dead.

The only appropriate condiments are sweet relish, ketchup, ranch dressing and Miracle Whip, not mayonnaise. Emerson while watching Recipe for Deception.

February 24, 2016 — Big Sonny & Little Women


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante keeps leaving messages for Lulu, telling her he’s on The Haunted Star. Lulu keeps rising to the top of the water and trying to get his attention.

Morgan is handcuffed to a chair, basically going bananas. Michael keeps trying to explain what the problem is, and you’d think people would get it, especially in 2016. Jordan says she wants Michael restrained and in a holding cell, but Andre steps in, saying Morgan is his patient.

The paramedics finally arrive at the pier. Carly wipes her bloody hands on her really nice sweater and I say, why, Carly, why? Anna tells Paul the whole thing was a disaster and their main guy got away, like he doesn’t know this already. And like it’s his fault Morgan interfered.

Dixon says the cripple wants to be a hero. Does anyone really talk like that? He doesn’t trust Sonny and he says he should shoot Sonny, since it’s his son’s fault that this happened. He points the gun at Sonny, and Alexis says he doesn’t want to shoot a man in a wheelchair in front of his daughter. Yes, let’s reason with a man who sounds like he came from a 50s gangster movie.

Kiki is taken to the hospital. Paul asks Carly how Morgan ended up there. She says she doesn’t know and he says she should, because he just messed up a major operation. Anna asks Carly for any information and Carly tells her about the phone message. Paul says Dixon was gong to shoot Morgan and Kiki tried to push him out of the way.

Andre asks Jordan if Morgan seems rational. He says Morgan needs medication and sedation. and that Morgan needs to come with him now.

Dixon wants to know who Sonny’s other kid is. Sonny reminds him of the 2 million. Dixon says the bride broke the rules and aims his gun at Alexis. Julian offers him 5 million to go away. Dixon bidding wars! Dixon says he’ll make an exception for the bride since he’s sentimental that way. Maxie asks if she can have help and Lucas offers to take her place. Dixon says no. Nina tries to help and Dixon says Maxie better know what she’s doing because no one else is getting up.

Nicholas offers his resources, including a private helicopter. Dixon asks who he is. Nicholas tells him that he’s Prince Cassadine. Dixon wants to know how he knows the happy couple. Nicholas says Alexis is his aunt. Dixon wants information as to who the bridesmaids are and who is Sonny’s daughter. I’m not even sure, so good luck with that.

Dante finally gets a clue and jumps in the water. He eventually sees Lulu face down. He brings her to the surface.

Paul wants to know if Morgan found out about the gun shipment from Sonny. Carly says Sonny doesn’t want Morgan in the business. Carly wants to go to Kiki. Paul tries to stop her, but Anna says to let her go. Anna tells Paul that the mere fact that a bystander was shot is unacceptable. Paul tells her that Morgan showed up armed maybe wanted to hijack the shipment. He says this might help them to take Sonny down. Anna says they need to concentrate on Dixon and wonders where he might be. Paul says Ava was his only contact.

Andre says Morgan is a suicide risk and does Jordan want a lawsuit. This ruffles Jordan’s feathers and she starts barking orders at everyone. Andre says he’s just looking out for his patient who’s in a manic episode, and he’s not trying to trump her authority. Jordan allows him to take Morgan. Michael tells Morgan he can see Kiki if he cooperates with the doctors. Jordan says don’t make her regret her decision.

The desk sergeant tells Jordan that someone just heard shooting from the chapel.

Dixon says he only needs one hostage, so which one is Sonny’s daughter? Sam says she is and Dixon says he can see from Sonny’s face, she’s not. Sonny says if he hurts any of the girls, he’s dead. Dixon asks if Sonny is going to kill him with harsh language. He says Sonny is helpless and just stalling and is starting to annoy him. Why it doesn’t occur to him that Sonny might have a gun or light saber or something, I don’t know. It’s not exactly like he checked for that.

Dixon asks Ava if she has anything to contribute. She advises him to take Sonny and Julia’s offers. He says fine, he’ll tell them where to send the money as soon as he gets where he’s going with Sonny’s daughter. Ava offers herself as a hostage.

Dante gets Lulu to land and performs CPR. He tells her he loves her and he and Rocco need her.

Andre gets Morgan to the hospital. Morgan says he doesn’t need to be admitted. Andre says if he can’t manage that, he’s going to have to be restrained. Morgan sits with Michael on a bench. Amazingly, they’ve gotten there before Kiki did. She’s wheeled in and Morgan gets crazy again.

Dixon says taking Ava does nothing to hurt Sonny. She says the girls will just make him a bigger target. He shoots the gun in the air and tells her to take her seat. He takes Molly and the girls all go nuts. Kristina says it’s her and Dixon grabs her. He says he’ll tell them where to send the money. Everything gets a little confused, with people yelling and moving around, and I’m sure Dixon is going to shoot someone, when Sonny jumps up from his chair. He grabs Dixon from behind, throws him to the floor and takes his gun. Go, Sonny!

Everyone scrambles to Nathan. Sonny tells Dixon to get on his knees. He says he’s going to make him pay for threatening his daughter. Carly walks in startled that Sonny is up. Paul and Anna enter. Sonny tells them they’re a little late.

Lulu comes to, choking up water.

Brad tells Lucas that one thing he can say about Lucas’s family is they’re never boring. Anna goes to talk to Sonny and Paul says he has some things to wrap up. Olivia tells Ava she did a brave thing. Paul tells everyone to stay put until they can get statements.

Morgan says he wants to fix things. Andre tells him he needs to fix himself first and Morgan needs to trust him.

Anna tells Sonny not to go anywhere. Carly asks Sonny how long he’s been lying to her about being able to walk. She doesn’t wait for an answer and walks away from him. Carly tells Ava about what happened with Kiki. Ava asks if she’s alive and she sees the blood on Carly’s really nice sweater. Ava starts to leave and Paul tries to stop her. She slaps him one, but for some reason the sound is out of sync with the action, so it comes off looking pretty funny. Ava tells Paul it’s his fault Kiki got shot and storms out.

Carly asks Anna if she can go. Anna says yes, and thanks her for her help with Kiki. Alexis says this shouldn’t have happened and she doesn’t even want to know how Ava is involved. Olivia tells Julian that she’s glad she didn’t bring Leo and this is obviously what her premonition was about. Alexis thanks Sonny for saving Kristina’s life. This is one of those times I actually like Sonny. Alexis asks him what he knows. He says he had nothing to do with it, but I don’t think she believes him.

Nathan arrives at the hospital next. He wakes up babbling about Dixon and Maxie tells him Dixon is in custody. Nathan is wheeled into surgery. Nina tells Franco he’s her hero. He says he’s selfish and a coward and to never think any different. Ava comes in hysterical, looking for Kiki.

Lulu gets brought in next. Dante tells the doctor what happened and they check Lulu for hypothermia.

Morgan wants Michael to check on Kiki. Ava comes in and starts screaming at Morgan. about how it’s his fault. Franco tells her she’s not doing anybody any good and she won’t be able to see Kiki if she doesn’t calm down. Morgan says he’d never hurt Kiki.

Anna thanks Sonny for his help. He says to thank him by bringing the culprits to justice. Everyone is allowed to go home. Jordan says Paul has a habit of not telling her things. Paul admits to Anna that things went awry, but Dixon is in custody and he and Anna make a great team. She calls him an arrogant s.o.b.

Carly goes back to the pier wondering what happened. I’m surprised she’s allowed to wander around there since its a crime scene for a crime that happened five minutes ago. She takes down the police tape and starts throwing the guns in the water. Sonny comes up and asks what she’s doing. She asks why he lied to her.

Anna says is was ill planned and that one person like Morgan should not have been able to cause such chaos. Paul says it was still a success. Anna tells him take all the credit, because she doesn’t want to associate with him anymore.

Alexis tells Julian she knows it wasn’t his fault and that the wedding might have been a disaster, but their kids are all safe and they made it through the vows.

Dante is holding the unconscious Lulu’s hand when she wakes up. She asks how he knew where she was and he says he just knew. This almost brings a tear to my eye.

Ava is in with Kiki. She says nothing was supposed to happen to her. Morgan and Michael stand in the doorway. Michael says Morgan has to go now. Morgan says if she dies it’s his fault.

Carly tells Sonny thanks a lot for letting her grieve while watching him pretend to struggle. Sonny says Morgan has to hit rock bottom before he’d get help. Carly says, well he sure did, and tells him about Morgan stealing his gun and Kiki getting shot. Hmm…Carly seems to be going into a riff on gun control. Sonny tells her that the crates don’t have his name on them, but Jerome Gallery. He says it was necessary and he’d do it again. He says Morgan wasn’t supposed to be a part of it. Carly says the violence was always waiting for him and they made it happen.

Tomorrow, Dante loves Lulu more than ever, Elizabeth apologizes for the millionth time, and Kiki might be paralyzed. In Port Charles, probably not for long.

Side note: When I tuned into Judge Judy early, Dr Phil was still on and had this to say: “My daddy always told me not to miss a damn good chance to shut up.”

Little Women: Atlanta

Disregarding Dr. Phil’s daddy’s wise advice and giving my two cents. If you don’t want to be stereotyped and labeled by things like “midget wrestling,” ladies, please stop getting into fist-fights with one another.

Minnie is still getting over what went down at her birthday party. She’s meeting the Cheeks and Wooda at his studio to go over it again. Minnie says she has to talk to Monie about her getting out of control. They think just because Minnie mended fences with Juicy, Monie thinks she’s being replaced as a friend.

The twins are learning to drive. The instructor has to set up pedal extensions first. Whatever twin isn’t driving, is in the backseat laughing with her boyfriend. When it’s her turn though, she doesn’t do much better. The instructor suggests using two feet. I’m not laughing because I’m not so sure how I’d do in their place.

Minnie comes by Juicy’s house to see if her apology was genuine. Minnie doesn’t want what Monie did to come between them either. She outright asks if Juicy’s apology was sincere. Juicy says she wants to move on and it was from the heart. She says she didn’t come to the party to cause drama. Minnie says she’s missed them hanging out.

Minnie brings up Monie throwing the drink on Juicy. Juicy says Monie is a character and wonders how she and Minnie can be friends. Juicy thinks Monie probably doesn’t have many friends and she’s jealous.

Monie has started her voice-over training. She tells boyfriend Morlen about what happened at the party. He says she needs to watch her temper. Monie says she has an allergy to bs. Why that means she has to get physical, I don’t know. Morlen says the girls should talk things out and come together. Monie wants things the way they used to be.

The twins go bike shopping, since it will be a while before they get their licenses. I’m just short and have a hard time finding a comfortable bike, I can’t imagine what they go through. They have to ride a kid’s bike. I feel their pain.

Andrea is real unhappy with her leech boyfriend. Amanda says if he was going to change, he’d have done it by now. Andrea doesn’t want to let the boyfriend go and thinks they can work things out. Her sister says this is no example for her son.

The Cheeks are having a photo shoot. They talk about the twins getting a job at the club they promote. Emily is worried that she’s starting to show and it might be obvious in the pictures. Yeah, a little bit.

Andrea and boyfriend Chris go out for dinner. No doubt she’s paying. Andrea tries to talk to Chris. She wants him to get a job, and he takes offense to this. She says he wasn’t around when their son had a hospital emergency. He has chronic lung disease and is also a little person. Andrea says the arguing isn’t healthy and Chris says he’ll try his best.

The girls go apple picking. The Cheeks wonder if Minnie forgave Juicy so Juicy wouldn’t continue to gossip about her. Minnie hopes there won’t be any alcohol involved. I don’t think that goes real well with apple picking either.

Minnie talks about how average sized people often disrespect little people, doing things like taking pictures without asking and patting them on the head. Minnie says she’s been torn, a part of her want’s to just move on, but a part of her wants to know what made Monie so angry.

There’s silence between Minnie and Monie, making the start a little awkward. Monie thanks them for coming and yada yada yada. They take a hay wagon to the orchard. I’m not sure why this is suddenly a thing with the Little Women, since it looks like a struggle for a little person to apple pick.

Monie asks Minnie why she got angry when she had Minnie’s back? Minnie says she was being chill and Monie got out of control and had no business throwing a drink on Juicy. Right away, Monie gets angry again, saying that Juicy had it coming. They start getting loud. Monie throws shade at Juicy and Minnie says she’s talking about Monie right now. Monie asks what’s really up with Minnie and Troy, and is there any truth in what Juicy had been saying.

Minnie says she was there to have fun, not for a confrontation. Monie thinks Minnie forgave Juicy too fast. Minnie says she lied and Troy really wasn’t her boyfriend. Monie is all shocked and says Minnie has been making Juicy out to be the bad guy. Does this mean she’ll apologize for that drink throwing?

Minnie says she felt badly being the only single one of the group. She was afraid that they would look at her funny. Monie says they would never do that and Minnie should be honest. Minnie tells the rest of the girls. She asks for no judgment and for them to put themselves in her shoes. Everyone is supportive, but Monie still feels betrayed and wonders what else Minnie might be lying about.

Commercial break. The Mother/Daughter Experiment: Celebrity Edition looks like pure has-been hell. I’ll probably watch it. It also sounds like a board game.

Minnie tells her mother that she lied about Troy. She says the reason her mom hasn’t met Troy is because they’re not in a relationship. She says her friends all have boyfriends. Her mother says that’s no excuse for lying. She brings up what happened with Monie. She says what if it had been worse just because Minnie lied? Minnie apologizes and her mother accepts that, but she tells Minnie to put her big girl panties on.

The twins are out on a bike ride. They talk about what a drag it is riding a kid’s bike, but at least they’re getting around. Then they throw shade at the Cheeks, since they’re first night at the club is tonight.

The Cheeks have a booking at Boogalou, the same club the twins are signed up for. Emily says she has to get some bookings in before she really starts to show.

The twins arrive at the club. Emily and Bri are already there, and Emily is like, not too awkward. She didn’t think they’d be working the same night. This looks like a pretty boring club. Not too many people. Fewer than an eighth grade dance. The twins wait tables while the Cheeks hang out on the swings near the bar. Emily says she didn’t know the club had the twins doing dirty work and generally insults them.

Down on the dance floor, Bri says she doesn’t serve people, she’s an entertainer. One of the twins gets in Emily’s face. Another get’s in Bri’s and they start to hair pull and fight. The people in the club look amused and probably think this is part of the act. Security pulls them apart.

A lone hair extension is left on the dance floor.

Next week, The fight is discussed, Bri wantts to go to counseling with Wooda who thinks she should go on her own, and a music video is filmed.

Important information: The new season of Southern Charm starts April 4.

Little Women: LA

We start with a rip-roaring fight between Terra and Tonya. Then it says five days earlier.

Jasmine knows her husband isn’t happy working at her father’s restaurant. Chris tells her his lack of experience in the restaurant business is frustrating because he doesn’t always get what’s being asked of him. He says he doesn’t want to go out of state for work though, so he’s going to stick with it.

Jasmine wants to host a party for the girls and their dates at the restaurant. If he’s working that night, she wants Chris to join them after his shift. He says it will be awkward, but he’ll roll with it. He seems like a pretty easy-going guy.

Terra and Tonya get together for drinks. They toast to Tonya’s love life. Tonya tells Terra about Kerwin’s visit. In her individual interview, Terra says Penny had decompression surgery recently, and two of her best friends weren’t around, one of them being Tonya. Being a good friend though, Terra listens patiently and asks the appropriate questions. She thinks Tonya will have to stop working with Ja.

Terra asks about Kerwin’s housemate. Terra says in all honesty, she doesn’t see Kerwin and Tonya living together. Tonya insists he’s changed, but Terra says he’s still living with another woman.

Briana and Matt are checking with a fertility specialist. Briana would like a baby with Matt, but it’s not happening and she wants to see if it can happen.

They meet with the doctor. Briana tells her about the pregnancy symptoms she thought she was having, only to find out she wasn’t even ovulating. The doctor wants to do an ultrasound. Briana says those are often painful for little people because a probe has to be used. The doctor points out something on the screen.

Briana has poly-cystic ovaries. Not good news, but Briana is glad it’s not something connected to her being a little person. The doctor says things look good for a future pregnancy.

Elena says the double date with Tonya didn’t go that well. She wants to talk to Tonya about Kerwin. She asks how they left things. Tonya says Kerwin is still mulling things over and Elena says she just doesn’t want to see Tonya get her heart broken.

Elena asks about the couples party. Tonya thinks Jasmine is being rude since she knows Tonya doesn’t have a date right now. Elena thinks she wants to cover up her mistake in not inviting Elena to her mom’s party. Elena says she wants to avoid Jasmine, but not her friends, so she’s going.

Christy and Todd are going to couples counseling. Christy says it hasn’t helped in past relationships, but she’s willing to give it a try with Todd. They tell the therapist about their background, including the frustration about trying to have a child. I’m loving Christy’s beachy wave hairstyle. Christy tells the therapist that she’s okay with Todd being overweight, but she’s afraid of being a window. She’s scared that they’ll adopt a child and he’s going to keel over dead.

She asks Todd not to be angry, and brings up the lap band surgery. He says he’s not a fan, but Christy says that he’s not doing anything else about it either. He makes a promise to do better. In her individual interview, Christy says she’s heard it all before (I know what that’s like), but now that they have a therapist, she feels like she has back up and there’s someone to hold Todd accountable. She says maybe Todd will surprise her and lose the weight this time. Todd says he knows he can do it.

Todd and Christy are looking at another house. It’s really cute, with a huge kitchen. The laundry room appliances are low, and they both love that. Todd says there’s no bigger challenge in life than retrieving that last sock. Christy tells Todd they have to get the house. Christy is feeling very positive and Todd thinks the therapy helped.

Tonya thinks the ladies had some valid points. She SKYPES with Kerwin and asks if he’s making any changes. He hasn’t said anything to the woman he lives with yet, and asks her if she understands the gravity of what she’s asking. Tonya is surprised because he’s always been the one pressuring her to be together. He’d afraid she’s going to change her mind again. She says she wants to work things out and he says he needs to make a decision. Their conversation wears me out.

Jasmine has the restaurant decorated with pinatas for the couples party. Penny is out of the hospital, and Terra says she and Joe need a date night. Chris has to work during the party. Jasmine thought it would be weird, but no one gives a flying. Tonya comes solo. Briana hopes the ladies don’t gang up on her again.

Elena says noting about this is romantic, so why is Jasmine calling it a date night? Tonya is sitting with her and Preston, and she’s miffed too. Tonya says Elena understands her better than Terra. She says she needs support right now, not discouragement.

There’s a taco truck included, and Briana and Christy go outside to check it out. They talk about the last time they clashed and how much both of them were hurt. Christy apologizes and says if Briana wants to apologize for the lies, that’s on her. Somehow this inches toward an argument, but Christy says she won’t feed into it. She apologizes again and says Briana never says “sorry” back. Weren’t we just here? Briana says she’s sorry for not telling Christy she was married and they get tacos. Thank goodness. I felt like I was headed for Groundhog Day.

They’re ready for the pinatas, which have candy and adult goodies in them. Jasmine encourages Elena to play, but she’s being standoffish. Christy takes out her frustrations on the pinata and Jasmine finishes the job. Jasmine asks why Elena doesn’t want to have fun. She asks if something is bothering Elena. Elena says she thought it was going to be a real couples party with candles and stuff, when they’re just hanging out. Jasmine says it was a way of inviting the guys. Jasmine says no matter what she does, she can’t please them. Tonya whines about being single.

Christy chimes in that Jasmine recognized her mistake in not inviting Elena to the last party. Everyone starts yelling at one another. Jasmine says they can either stay and enjoy themselves or they can leave.

Terra thinks Tonya is being ridiculous and that Jasmine doesn’t know every detail of everyone’s lives. Elena says something stupid and Jasmine says Elena hasn’t always been nice to her. Elena brings up the party she wasn’t invited to and Jasmine says she’s apologized a thousand times. Briana says she’d rather be at the bar doing shots with the guys, but at least this isn’t about her for once.

Terra and Tonya really get into it and I have the feeling this isn’t just about Elena and Jasmine anymore. Terra says when Penny was having spinal surgery, she really needed Tonya and she was too busy with Kerwin to bother. Terra asks where Tonya and Elena were when Penny was in the hospital, and tells Tonya not to say she’s always there for her. The three of them start yelling so loud, I can’t understand them. Elena storms out and Tonya says she’s out too.

Next week, either they didn’t give a preview or the world is going to end.

February 23, 2016 — GH, Haves & Nots & Haves


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu is handcuffed with duct tape over her mouth. Raj says she shouldn’t have been there.

Kiki tells Michael about the message Morgan left, including the change in time for the arms shipment. Michael says he’ll handle it. Anna says Morgan is going to walk right into the gun deal.

Morgan says Dixon is disrespecting Sonny in running arms through his territory and if he doesn’t throw his gun into the water, Morgan is going to shoot.

Since Kiki is really, really stupid, she leaves for the pier.

The minister reads 1 Corinthians 13 because it’s a requirement.

Carly wants to get Morgan out of there

Jordan asks Dante where things stand between him and Lulu. He says they’re talking, so he’s wondering why she’s ignoring his texts. Jordan tells him to give Lulu some room.

Raj tells Lulu about the text. He throws her phone into the water. He says he has work to do and looks through the binoculars to the pier.

Paul tells Morgan to cool his jets. All the guns go into the water. Paul says he doesn’t have a gun and Morgan says he doesn’t believe it. He tells one of the thugs to open a crate. Yep, it’s weapons. Dixon tells Morgan he should call his father because he’s 3 seconds away from starting a war. Someone moves and Morgan shoots.

The minister reads the whatever it is that makes you man and wife. Weren’t they writing — oh, okay, usually they do that before the I do’s — Alexis and Julian read their own vows. Alexis says that Julian has made her think all things are possible and that she found the life partner she never knew she needed. Julian says that when he found Alexis, he realized what he truly wanted and he’ll spend the rest of his life doing whatever he can to make her happy. Obviously, I’m paraphrasing.

Anna is calling her lead agent, while Carly and Michael try to explain Morgan’s illness and that they need to go to the pier. They rush out the door, leaving Anna still on the phone.

Jordan tells Dante someone walking their dog heard shots fired at the pier and everyone tears out of the station.

Raj complains about something always going wrong and I identify. He says the cops will be there any minute. He says he has to go and so does Lulu. I’m not sure why he doesn’t just leave her there. It’s not like she even knows who he really is.

Morgan tells everyone not to move. Paul says someone heard the shot and how is he going to make the cops believe Sonny isn’t culpable? Paul tells him to leave before something happens he can’t take back. Morgan says he’s the king of the world and can do anything.

Commercial break. I try to calm down from a plumbing problem I just had a half hour before the show where I couldn’t get the water in the upstairs sink to shut off.

Dixon and one of the thugs rush Morgan and Dixon gets his gun. Dixon says give him a good reason not to put a bullet in Morgan’s head and I can’t come up with one.

The happy couple are about to exchange rings, but Lucas can’t find them.Franco suggests to Nina that Sonny paid someone off to hide them. Molly tells Lucas to check his inside breast pocket and voila! Rings. Brad says it’s bad luck for a wedding to go off without a hitch. Maybe this explains my life. My wedding was relatively trouble-free, except for a friend’s date who tried to keep up with my husband’s friends in the drinking department, and ended up sick in the bathroom for half the night. Ava wonders where Kiki is. The rings are finally exchanged. Applause.

Lulu struggles with Raj who throws her over the side of the boat. Um, her hands are free. Won’t she be able to swim?

Dixon says Morgan is going to pay for messing things up. Morgan says go ahead and shoot him.Dixon say Morgan is trouble he didn’t need. Paul tells him it will just make things worse and there will be huge problems with Sonny if Dixon shoots Morgan. Paul says this is not what he signed up for and that Morgan is crazy. That makes Morgan go crazy.

No surprise, Kiki comes running into the mix. Dixon shoots. Who, we won’t know until after the commercial. I’m guessing Kiki, who should never have gotten involved with Morgan again.

Yep, I’m right. I ain’t been watching this 50 years for nothing. Anna and the Feds show up and tell everyone to get on the ground. An agent tells Morgan to get away from Kiki so he can see his hands. Carly and Michael show up.

Lulu gets to the surface and gets the tape off of her mouth.

The minister says no applause until he actually makes the pronouncement. He does, they kiss, and more applause. Lots of comments among the guests.

Dixon comes running into the church with a gun. He says nobody move. He puts the gun on Sonny and Sonny tells him he has one chance to live. He tells Dixon to put the gun down and get out. Man, he’s got some confidence.

Commercial break. I ponder what a freaking jerk Morgan is.

Dixon tells Sonny it was his kid who caused the trouble. Sonny says the last place Dixon should have come to was the church. Dixon is like, Morgan is a nut and what’s Sonny going to do in a wheelchair. Dixon tells Ava since the shipment was going to her gallery and she’s going to help him now. He tells her that Paul was working for the Feds and asks if she was in on it, or was Paul screwing her too. Well…..

Carly tends to Kiki an they call for an ambulance. Anna asks Paul what went wrong. He says everything starting with lunatic Morgan. Paul tells Anna the details of what happened. He says they had Morgan subdued, but something Morgan said set Dixon off and he ended up shooting Kiki instead of Morgan.

Jordan arrives with more cops. Anna gets on the phone. Carly says Kiki needs medical attention now.

Dante goes to The Haunted Star. Lulu is gasping for air in the water, as he calls her name. I guess she must be weighted down somehow. She tries getting his attention, but he can’t hear her. Instead of trying to form a sentence, maybe she should just yell.

Dixon says if anyone leaves their seat, they’ll be shot. He asks whose idea it was to have a wedding the night of the shipment, and starts talking like he’s crazier than Morgan, having everyone introduce themselves. He says no one will have a better name that Bradley Cooper and they can skip the others. Franco says how disappointed he is and how he’s so unpopular. He says he’s taken hostages in his day and Dixon is going about it all wrong. He suggests Dixon only keep one hostage. First, he suggests Sonny because he’s a lowlife, but he’s in a wheelchair which is problematic, so maybe Julian, since it’s his fault they’re all there. Alexis says why doesn’t he volunteer, but Franco says he’s the worst hostage ever. Dixon tells him nice effort.

Dixon has Brad collect the cell phones and it reminds me of the time Todd held everyone hostage with a fake bomb on One Life to Live. Dixon asks the minister how he gets out of there. The minister explains the layout of the church, for so long that I’m wondering if it’s the Vatican. Everyone whispers among themselves.

Jordan says no one told her about anything. Anna runs to Kiki. Paul tells Jordan to get Morgan out of there and take him to the station for questioning. Morgan doesn’t want to go and Jordan tells Michael to deal with him. Michael tells Morgan he can’t help Kiki by arguing with the police and they’ll do this together. Anna calls for paramedics again.

Brad collects the phones. Dixon wants a show of hands to make sure no one is armed. Sonny tells him to relax and think of a plan. Dixon says who needs it with all the hostages. Sonny says maybe Franco was right, he is wealthy with resources. He says one phone call he’ll have a car with clean plates and two million dollars. Sonny tells him they don’t have much time and if the cops get there, time’s up. Nathan — for whatever reason, since Sonny was doing really well there — decides to jump up. Dixon shoots him.

Lulu manages to call for Dante, but he’s wandering around the boat. He keeps calling for her. She starts to sink, and their relationship flashbacks through her mind.

Morgan is going apesh*t at the station, rambling on about taking his dad’s gun. Jordan says if he doesn’t calm down, she’s going to arrest him. Michael says Morgan isn’t talking without a lawyer. Morgan gets crazier and Jordan reads him his rights.

At the pier, the Feds take stock of the shipment, but they realize Dixon is gone.

Lucas says he can help, but Dixon says the rules haven’t changed and to sit down. Maxie says he’ll have to shoot her too and please let her help. Dixon says he’s a sucker for a pretty face, and she asked nice, so okay. He says anyone who moves gets shot. Then he says maybe he should just shoot Sonny right now.

Tomorrow, Anna tells Paul the sting was a disaster (like he doesn’t know), Ava volunteers to be a hostage, and Maxie says she can’t stop Nathan’s bleeding.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace is beating the crap out of the social worker, Aliyah. Candace asks if she’s going to talk now. Aliyah says okay, but she doesn’t know where Oscar is. Candace asks how she was paid. Aliyah says in cash. $25,000. Whoa. Aliyah says Oscar said he’d pay her if a judge needed to see that Candace had money in the bank. Candace asks where the cash is and Aliyah says she spent all of it. Another whoa. Aliyah asks Candace not to say anything because she could lose her job, adding she won’t go to the police. Candace says she could lose her life if she doesn’t come up with the 25K. Aliyah says she’ll go to her credit union. Candace tells her she wants 100K then, and her son. She wants a recommendation that she get custody and gives Aliyah six hours.

Candace tells her to find out where Oscar is too, or she’ll be sorry. Man, this chick has some cojones. After Aliyah leaves, Wendy says they might not find Oscar, so she hopes Candace is thinking about plan B.

Oscar goes to David’s office. The only thing he’s come up with on Veronica so far is the name of the photographer Maggie hired to take the picture of Veronica and Benny. He says the affair started when Veronica got Benny out of jail. He asks that David not give up the photographer’s name because he wants to continue their business relationship. David thanks him and Oscar says he’ll keep David posted.

Kathryn arrives next. She tells David that the DA let her out, but Jennifer refuses to release Jim and Veronica. Kathryn’s cell phone rings. It’s Lloyd from the bank. She says she’ll call back when she has time. David says he’s working on something to get Jim and Veronica out. Kathryn doesn’t believe him because she spoke to Judge Carter who told her David isn’t getting Veronica out. He says she’s safer in jail. Kathryn says he needs to put on his big boy pants and deal. He says it’s not about the affair, and Kathryn doesn’t have the whole picture.

He asks where Veronica lives. Kathryn says she doesn’t know, but what does that have to do with getting her out of jail? Then she asks how David got out. He says Maggie called in favors. Kathryn asks why she didn’t call in favors for the others, and Maggie, standing behind her, says she didn’t want to. She tells Kathryn she needs to put some distance between herself and Jim. Kathryn says if no one will help Jim, she will. Maggie says that’s not wise. Kathryn says it’s not wise for anyone to underestimate her power.

When Kathryn is gone, David tells Maggie she shouldn’t have lied to him about the photos and leaves her standing in his office by herself.

DA Jennifer calls bank guy Lloyd. He says he got her emails, faxes and court order this morning. She asks why he hasn’t responded. She says she knows he does a lot of business with the Cryers and doesn’t want to upset that, but the court order was signed by a judge. He says he knows the family and something isn’t right here. Jennifer mentions the court order again and tells him that when Wyatt comes in he’d better hand over the funds. If he calls Kathryn or tries to interfere in any way, she’ll consider it attempting to tamper with the safety of a witness.

Candace tells Wendy that she had it all, she had money and was going to take the bar, and Jim took everything. She says maybe her mother is right. She says she’s been in deep with people who had everything to lose, now she’s in deep with someone who has nothing to lose — Warlock.

Wendy says she hopes Candace didn’t cross him. Candace says she just didn’t tell him everything. Wendy tells her to remember a couple of other girls who crossed him and please say she has a plan. Candace says the only plan is to find Oscar. Wendy says she has to tell Benny. Candace says she can’t, and hopefully the money from Aliyah will be enough to buy her time. Wendy says that girl isn’t going to come up with the money.

Candace says maybe she can mortgage her place. Wendy says Benny will help if she tells truth. Candace says if Benny finds out Warlock is shaking her down, he’ll go crazy. She wonders why she puts herself in these situations. She says again maybe her mother was right. Wendy says stop saying that because that would mean her preacher father is right. Candace says let’s do what we do. Wendy tells her she’d better tell Benny about mortgaging the house.

Kathryn is at he jail with a lawyer. Veronica comes in and makes me laugh, saying she thought Kathryn would have changed clothes by now. Jim comes in too, and Kathryn says no one will help them. The lawyer says they should see the press. Veronica says they have Maggie to thank for that. Jim asks how bad it is and the lawyer says pretty bad.

Veronica asks if David is trying to get her out. Kathryn says no and Veronica asks why not. Jim asks her if she saw the paper and that he’d leave her rot. I note that Jim realistically looks like he hasn’t shaved in a while. Jim tells Kathryn to tell Veronica the truth. At first Kathryn says David is working on it, but then she admits David isn’t going to help her.

Veronica tells Jim to keep enjoying this. He says he will, but she has no idea how much he’d like her to get out. The lawyer says he’s sure he can get both of them bail. Veronica says she’s going to represent herself. The lawyer tells her that’s a bad idea, but she brings up how many times she’s beat him in court and says she’ll get herself out.

Wyatt comes to the DA’s office. Jennifer tells him his mother is out of jail and his father is having a bail hearing, but he won’t be released . Jennifer gives him paperwork and says she called the bank. She says if Lloyd won’t give Wyatt his inheritance, he’ll go to jail. Wyatt asks what happens if his mother shows up. Jennifer says that’s why she called the bail hearing for today. Man, this is about the most corrupt town ever. She tells Wyatt she’s counting on him. He says he’ll be there. She asks him to please get out of the Cryer house. I hate this woman.

Hanna is sitting in the Cryer’s kitchen when David walks in. He asks what happened and Hanna says Wyatt happened. He asks if she’s going to clean it up and she says no. He says he just came from her house and he’s sorry. She says she bets he is.

He asks if she’s aware of what happened. She says Wyatt hit her son and the little girl and they covered it up. He says she doens’t know the whole story. He says the Cryers might not be home for a while. She says she needs her check and asks why he’s there. He says he was hoping to speak with her about her son.

David asks if Veronica was with Benny the night Benny borrowed his truck. Hanna says she’s had it with all their bs. He says Veronica is a conniver. He doesn’t want Benny caught up in her games and he’s trying to protect him. She asks how, and he says the only way he can answer is for her to tell him all she knows . She says she knows he thinks she’s just an ignorant maid and that he wants her to tell him things he can use against Benny. She says she doesn’t trust him, doesn’t like him and he’s a liar. She says she has nothing else to say. She’s going to sit and wait for her check, and if he wants to know anything, he should ask her son directly. He says he already did and Benny told him to ask his wife. Hanna says she raised him better than that, and Benny should have said ask his triflin’ ass wife. Bye, David. Nice scene.

David calls Oscar (or whatever his name really is). He asks for contacts to reroute phone calls.

While staying at a hotel, Wyatt is picking out a place to live. He’s looking on the realtor’s laptop and chooses a 3 million dollar property. He tells the realtor he wants to close as quickly as possible. The realtor says he’ll get the owner to lease the place to him until the closing. Wyatt says get some chicks over too. The dude says how about some blow too and pulls out a humongous bag of cocaine. One stop shopping!

Jennifer says the people ask for no bail. Jim’s lawyer says that’s ridiculous, he’s been a model citizen. Jennifer says he covered up a murder and has access to private jets. The judge says no bail. Jim basically curses him out and the judge says he’ll hold him in contempt. Jim says who cares since he’s in jail anyway. The judge gives him an extra 30 days. Bail fail.

The DA requests no bail for Veronica too. Veronica says it was a matter of client attorney privilege because she was Jeffrey’s counsel. Jennifer says Jeffrey will testify that she’s not his lawyer The judge says that’s for the trial and releases Veronica.

Benny comes to the tow yard office. Suddenly, they have no tows. Mitch says the phones aren’t working and what’s going on? Benny says he doesn’t know .Mitch says ever since David came in, they haven’t had any business. Benny says that’s got nothing to do with it and Mitch says if he says so. Benny tries calling the office from his cell phone, but the phone doesn’t ring.

Candace calls Landon. She asks to meet him later. He hears idiot Maggie crying in her office and gives her a box of tissues. Maggie says he was right and she shouldn’t have done this. David says no she shouldn’t have from where he suddenly appears in the doorway.

Benny comes in behind David and David says oh, Benny decided to see him after all. Benny says says David decided to do something to his phones. David says he needs to know what Benny had going with his wife. Benny says he wants his phones back and it was nothing with Veronica. David says to tell him everything or he’ll never get his phones back. They start to tussle and Landon comes in saying Veronica is out of jail and David Dashes out the door.

Next week, Quita is still looking for Quincy, Candace sets up Landon, and Veronica is on the loose.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Mauricio and his agency are partnering with Soulcycle for a Habitat for Humanity charity event. Kyle, LisaV, Kathryn and Erika attend. Lisa asks if she heard they’re supposed to bike for 4 to 5 minutes or 45 minutes. She says she hasn’t spent 45 minutes straddling anything since 1984. She isn’t thrilled with spinning.

The instructor is all zen and tells everyone to go at their own pace, no pressure. This looks like fun, but I’d probably poop out after 5 minutes myself. He turns into an evangelist when he asks if everyone is a believer. Lisa is wearing pink patent pumps. Say that three times real fast. The event is a success.

The girls go to lunch afterward. They wonder what’s up with Yolands, and Kyle says they she and Eileen didn’t leave things on a positive note. Eileen joins them and they talk about Eileen’s soap job. Lisa asks about the love scenes and if they’re fun. Eileen says it’s more technical than anything else.

Yolanda joins them. She brought pink flowers for Lisa’s birthday. Yolanda asks how the spin thing went and Lisa tells her be glad she wasn’t there. The girls compare muscles.

Yolanda is hosting a dinner party at a restaurant. They talk about LisaR’s husband being in Mad Men and it getting nominated for an Emmy. Kyle asks Yolanda how things are between her and Lisa and she says fine. Kyle thinks everyone always sweeps everything under the rug. She and LisaV start talking about some conversation after Yolanda left.

Eileen asks what they’re talking about. Erika says something about LisaR saying that Yolanda said she was bi-polar. Yolanda says she only said she could say that and Kyle says that’s no different than what Lisa said about Munchausens. Yolanda gets annoyed for Kyle bringing it up, when she’s the one who horned in on a private conversation. Yolanda says they were being rude and whispering. Yolanda says she and LisaR worked things out. Kyle says fine, it’s none of her business and Yolanda says then mind your own business. Kyle tells Yolanda to give her an f-ing break and I second that. This is really stupid.

LisaR is on Jenny McCarthy’s Sirius Radio show, Dirty, Sexy, Funny. Lisa says Jenny is a girl’s girl and I agree. Lisa says it’s part of her job to stay relevant. They talk about Lisa and Harry’s sex life. Lisa says her mother told her that one day her mouth would get into trouble, but she makes a lot of money from it. I love how honest Lisa is about her hustle.

Yolanda is going on about Kyle talking about LisaR without her being there. Shut up already. Kyle says she’s friends with Lisa. In her individual interview, Yolanda says yeah, when it’s convenient. Yolanda tells Kyle to drop it. She adds that she keeps a lot in the vault, whatever that means. Kyle asks if that’s some kind of threat. LisaV says Yolanda shouldn’t have put it out there that she could call LisaR bi-polar. Yolanda says same with LisaR talking about Munchausens. I’m so startled she pronounced it right, I miss what’s next. Yolanda is suddenly all over LisaV, saying she talked smack about Yolanda’s kids. Lisa says that’s not what happened. Lisa finally has enough of this nonsense. She says she has to do something and leaves.

Kathryn and Erika are having lunch at Erika’s. Kathryn says she wants to be friends, but she needs to know what Erika is about. She says Erika is closed off. Erika says she’s never been liked by girls and was hurt at an early age by girlfriends, so she’s never had a crew. She doesn’t really trust anyone. She says Yolanda is her go-to guy, but she’s a girl.

Erika says her grandmother was the closest female to her, but she passed away. Kathryn volunteers to be her friend and says she’ll have her back. Erika asks what Kathryn thinks of LisaV.

LisaR comes by Kyle’s house. I’m tired of seeing everyone in black. Kyle got an email from Yolanda, scolding her, and it was cc’d to the rest of the ladies. Kyle says she doesn’t know what’s up since she thought they were cool.

Yolanda says she wasn’t able to say what she needed to at the lunch, so she got up in the middle of the night and composed this email. In the email, Yolanda goes blah-blah-blah about how she wanted to have fun at the lunch and Kyle ruined things. LisaR says it’s passive aggression at it’s finest. It’s kind of cool how it’s read, with each of them reading a part of it in succession. Kyle tells LisaR about the vault thing, and LisaR says it’s about keeping secrets to use as ammunition.

This is interspersed with LisaV telling Ken about the lunch and the email. She says she’s got a lot of sympathy for Yolanda, but she has to run because she’s having the ladies over to the house. LisaR can’t make it because she’s going to the Emmys or something.

Erika and Kathryn discuss LisaV. Kathryn thinks she’s sweet. Erika says she’s sweet, but she thinks Lisa “engages from the side, is a sniper from the side and doesn’t want to leave fingerprints.” I like Lisa and wish she would adopt me, so this irritates me a little. Erika says she thinks Lisa is selectively honest and likes to move things to her advantage.

Lisa is in her pool. floating around on a pink flamingo floatie while having a cup of tea. Eileen shows up first and says it’s like Noah’s Ark with all the animals. Lisa has things set up in a private area on the property. Her place is so amazing. Honestly, Lisa, I wouldn’t be any trouble at all. You’d never even know I was there.

Lisa brings out her new puppy and everyone squees. They sit down to lunch. She tells Ken to call the ponies and everyone chimes in with calling various animals and it’s pretty funny. Kyle says the email from Yolanda was awkward. Kathryn says Yolanda was just collecting her thoughts, but Kyle says she was basically reprimanded in front of everyone. Kathryn says it pulls everyone in whether they want to be in or not.

Kyle says she understands Yolanda is sick. They talk about how LisaV didn’t say anything bad about the kids and Kyle backs that up, prompting Lisa to both be startled and thank her. They move on to Kathryn having a boxing class with Erika’s trainers. She says afterwards, they discussed LisaV.

Kathryn says the started off talking about her grandmother and it’s obviously Erika’s soft spot, but she sucked it back in. She says then they talked about LisaV and Erika said not to get caught in her web. Lisa is a little taken aback. She says she doesn’t have time to go to the bathroom much less spin a web. Eileen can’t believe that Kathryn repeated what Erika said. Eileen seems to think it has something to do with Lisa’s apology to Eileen in the Hamptons and how Lisa didn’t really seem to understand where she was coming from. How did this turn into something about her?

Eileen says Lisa has a habit of minimizing and it felt like she dismissed Eileen without a resolution and maybe Yolanda feels that way. Lisa says she needs to work on that, and Eileen thinks she’s being dismissive again. She says she thinks Lisa feels like she’s being attacked. Kyle says everyone is different in the way they need to hear an apology. This is actually pretty astute of Kyle. Eileen doesn’t seem to want to let it go and Lisa says she’s truly sorry. Eileen says they’re good and Lisa says how good because she needs to be really good to move on.

Eileen says they’re fine, but she thinks they’ll never understand the situation the same way. In her individual interview, Lisa says Eileen is emotional and maybe they’re built differently. I totally agree with this. I think Lisa is just British and they do have a different way of expressing their emotions, mostly not at all. Lisa says she doesn’t like to be petty and Eileen says but it’s people’s feelings and therefore important. Lisa says okay, she’s wrong again. Eileen tells her she doesn’t have to play the victim and Lisa asks if anybody wants more wine. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad idea.

Next time, Harry Hamlin meets the girls, a trip to Dubai is in the works, and Kim and Brandi make appearances.

February 22, 2016 — GH’s Julian Gets Married & PUMP’s James Gets Fired


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden and Nicholas are basking in the afterglow. Hayden doesn’t want to get out of bed, but Nicholas says they have to get ready for the wedding.

Maxie wonders why Nathan is still working, and he says there is a lot of crime afoot and felons don’t look at social calendars.

Julian orders more champagne. How drunk are these people planning on getting before the wedding? He goes to open the bottle and cuts his hand.

Josslyn and Carly are having a bite to eat. Carly dances around Sonny’s employment, but Josslyn says she knows he’s a crime lord.

Sonny is alone in the church asking forgiveness for all the lies he’s telling his family. I guess killing people is okay though. Alexis and her bridesmaid daughters arrive at the church and find Sonny there. Alexis asks him what he’s doing there and he says to attend the wedding, but he’s wearing a tux, so isn’t that obvious?

Anna says they need to put out an APB on Sonny.

We revisit the scene with Paul, Dixon and the briefcase. Paul wants to inspect the goods before he hands the money over.

Nathan is changing at the station. He’s puts on his holster. Maxie asks if he thinks something bad is going to happen and he asks if she’s noticed who the groom is. She talks him out of taking it while I yell, “No!” at the TV. Maxie finds a woman’s white glove in the pocket of his tux and asks what’s up with that.

Hayden and Nicholas got busy again, so now they’re really running late. Hayden says it’s her first time out as a princess. This makes me feel a little sad, since I’m doubting she’s going to be one for long. While she’s dressing, Nicholas texts Sam and asks if there’s any news about Baxter.

Kristina (whose name I’ve been spelling wrong since I started this blog) is all happy about Sonny. She says the best wedding present she could give her mother was a truce between Sonny and Julian. The girls go to get ready and Alexis asks Sonny why he’s doing this.

Lucas comes to the rescue, getting supplies to bandage Julian’s hand. Julian says it’s a good thing he cut himself because it shows Olivia’s vision was noting major. Olivia wants to leave Leo with the sitter. She says something about it being past his bedtime, but I think she believes something bad is still going to happen.

Michael comes in and Anna tells him she has to talk to Sonny regarding a criminal investigation. He asks if his father is the subject of the investigation. Anna says no, but she doesn’t want the Corinthos people screwing it up. Too late. Morgan is on the loose.

Paul wonders why things are taking so long and Dixon says it’s the biggest shipment they’ve ever had. Dixon asks where he’s going to send the goods. Paul says he has the Jerome organization at his disposal and will easily be able to move them. The winch on the boat gets stuck and they’re going to have to bring the crates in by hand.

Paul calls Anna. He says that as soon as the money changes hands, that’s the signal for the agents to move in. Morgan is watching from a distance, but Dixon also sees Paul on the phone and asks who he was talking to.

Maxie asks why the glove is in Nathan’s tux jacket. He says it’s been a long time since he wore the tux. Maxie says it was the Nurses Ball, but he says Maxie had brought the wrong tux. He reminds her that he grew up privileged and has more than one.

Josslyn tells Carly that she thinks Sonny’s job is cool. She’s hoping he could come to her school for career day. Ha-ha-ha! He’d certainly be more interesting than the weatherman I saw at mine. Carly says it’s not cool and he’d only go if it’s for his coffee business. Josslyn’s friend, Kylie, calls about a sleepover and Carly tells her not to talk about their conversation to her friends.

Carly sees Kiki and asks if she’s seen Morgan. She says she knows what happened and that Morgan is still dealing with issues. She asks if Kiki can still be his friend. Ava pops in and says Kiki doesn’t need to do anything for Morgan.

Alexis questions Sonny, since he hates Julian. He says he’s doing it for Kristina. Alexis says is was disingenuous for him to let Kristina think she accomplished a truce. He changes the topic a little, saying that he knows something is on Kristina’s mind and he wants to be supportive. He gives his word that he’s not there for trouble. Alexis accepts that.

Michael says Dante has been asking questions about an arms syndicate. He says his father is a coffee importer and we all laugh hysterically. Anna is like, oh come on, and he says that Sonny wants nothing to do with arms smuggling, and that there won’t be any trouble from him. And actually, I’m not sure Sonny might have cared so much if Ava wasn’t involved and he didn’t want custody of Avery.

Paul tells Dixon he was talking to the authorities, giving me apoplexy.

Alexis finds roses, champagne and a card from Julian. She wants a moment alone, but first has a toast with her daughters. She says even though she’s marrying Julian she’ll always love them more and they’ll always be her true life partners. As it should be. Alexis needs to finish writing her vows, so the girls leave.

Olivia tells Sonny he’s the last person she expected to see. She’s wearing a dress with the coolest neckline ever. It’s hard to describe, but it has ridges kind of like the ones around a Reeses Cup.

Franco and Nina arrive. Franco says that churches freak him out, all the saints staring at him. Nina says he needs to get past that to get married in St. Patrick’s Cathedral. He says who said anything about marriage? What?! Don’t disappoint me, Franco.

Julian tells Kristina that he left Alexis a preview of his vows. She’s reading it, getting choked up while we trip down Memory Lane with Julian and Alexis flashbacks. This gives me time to eat some leftover Chinese food while watching. Stop ctying, Alexis, you’ll ruin your makeup.

Julian says he doesn’t remember seeing Sonny on the guest list. Sonny says you do things for your children you don’t do for anyone else. Yeah, like kill people.

Relief. Paul tells Dixon that he was giving misdirection to the cops.

Sam congratulates Hayden on her wedding (shouldn’t that be marriage?). Hayden goes off to do whatever and Nicholas asks if Sam’s found anything out.

Kiki picks up the message from Morgan. Since he told her where he is, why doesn’t she just tell someone? She grabs her coat and rushes out.

Franco says he wants to spend the rest of his life with Nina, but they just started getting it together and it’s moving fast. He says he never considered himself marriage material. She says they’re living together, so why doesn’t he want to get married? He says marriage ruins everything and says it way too loud. Everyone in the church turns to look at him.

Carly gets back to the house. Anna says Michael will fill her in and starts to leave, but Michael finds that Sonny’s gun box is empty.

Kiki texts Morgan to call her immediately. That’s right. Don’t get help. I bang my head against the wall.

Paul tells Dixon he’s made sure no one is going to ruin the deal. They hear Morgan being way too loud for a spy.

Carly says she spoke to the guards and anyone who took the gun must live there. That would be Morgan.

Dixon’s thugs root out Morgan. He’s hidden the gun and comes with them willingly.

Nina says she didn’t realize Franco felt so strongly and she wouldn’t want to ruin his life. He tries to backtrack, but she tells him not to dig himself in deeper.

Sam tells Nicholas she left Baxter a message.

Kristina asks if Hayden is going to change her name and Hayden says she never liked her name much in the first place. I’m not sure which name she’s talking about, her real name or Barnes.

Sam and Sonny talk about Shriners hospital. I hope they get some donations out of this. Lucas and Brad arrive. Lucas says he’s leaning on Brad for moral support Brad says he can do better than that, and shows him his divorce papers.. Lucas asks how he swung it, but Julian interrupts and it’s time to start the wedding.

I probably don’t need to tells you that you really could wear these bridesmaids dresses again. They’re absolutely gorgeous, strapless with a beautiful neckline in a hip violet blush color, simply designed with no giant flowers or bows hanging off of them. Oh wait, that was just Kristina’s dress. The others have different dresses, but no less stunning.

Wow, wow, wow! Alexis has a simple V-neck dress with a mermaid hem, but what I really love are the rhinestone straps and how they extend along the edges of the dress.

Anna asks why Morgan would take Sonny’s gun. Carly says he was recently diagnosed as bi-polar and she doesn’t think he’s taking his meds. Anna asks if he’s been violent, and Carly says no, but he’s been acting erratically and his decision making has been bad.

Sh*tshow on the way.

Morgan starts telling Paul how he shouldn’t be there because it’s Sonny’s territory and he heard them saying Sonny was weak, but they’re wrong. He says they’re making a big mistake and he’s there to protect Sonny’s interests. Paul says that’s highly doubtful and that Sonny probably doesn’t even know what’s going on. Dixon tells the thugs to get rid of Morgan, but Paul says that would be a mistake.

Back at the wedding, Sam reads one of Shakespeare’s sonnets.

Paul says Dixon doesn’t want trouble with Sonny and they should let Morgan go. He says he’s responsible for handling Sonny.

Carly asks Anna not to make it an official issue. Kiki calls Michael. She says Morgan hasn’t answered her texts or calls. Finally, finally, she tells him about Pier 54. The way such a crowd hangs out there all the time, you’d think it was Studio 54. Pretty soon there’s going to be a velvet rope at the entrance.

Dixon says it’s Morgan’s lucky night and to get lost. Morgan says screw you. Dixon pushes him and tells him to go while he has the chance. Morgan pulls out the gun and says nobody move.

Tomorrow, the wedding continues, Morgan threatens to shoot Dixon, and Raj threatens to get rid of Lulu. And I can’t wait to find out what happens at Pier 54.

Vanderpump Rules

Scheana, Ariana and Katie go lingerie shopping, and millions of guys suddenly pay attention to this show. Ariana says she and Scheana are sweeping their issues under the rug, but she’s rolling with it. Katie says she and Schwartz haven’t consummated the engagement yet, so she’s hoping to get that going with some new undies.

Kristen’s friend, Rachel, invites Scheana and Katie to her house in Palm Springs, but Stassi is also invited, putting a damper on things. Katie isn’t too happy about Schwartz inviting Stassi to the engagement party either.

They discuss Jax’s narcissism and how he told Tom he’s the number one guy in the group, proving that he’s really a 12-year-old boy in a 36-year-old man’s body.

James insists he’s the white Kanye West — which might be true if we’re talking about personality defects and an inflated sense of self-importance — and is making a Pump CD. Lisa asks if the song he made with Lala is going to be on it, but James says it’s complicated. He says part of him misses Kristen. Lisa says if there’s something destructive in your life, you have to get rid of it, and that includes Kristen and his drinking. He’s grateful to Lisa, and she says show it by being a grown-up.

Ariana calls Tom and tells him that Jax told Scheana the two of them are upset because no one wanted to talk about Tom’s band. Um…that’s so not what happened.

Tom is getting his tattoo removed and Schwartz says the only thing stopping him from getting rid of his is the scary tattoo removal machine. The removal instrument looks something like a stun gun. Tom says it’s literally a pain in the ass, and like a machine gun rubber band smacking you.

Stassi says all she does is sit on Kristen’s couch and drink, and that squatting is a talent she should have tapped into years ago. She’s looking for advice about approaching Katie. Kristen says Katie needs a little push and she’s hoping to manipulate things. Stassi has those grey hair highlights that I hate.

Jax says he keeps repeating things he swore he wouldn’t do anymore — petty fights, rushing into relationships, and being an a-hole in general. He says Shay must be unhappy too, considering his drinking habits. Jax is at the doctor’s office with Brittany and says boobs put him in a great mood. He plays with the implants in the examining room because he’s matured so much. She picks out a size. I sometimes wonder about Brittany. She’s constantly laughing and it makes me think she’s got something missing upstairs. Well, her just being with Jax makes me think that.

Scheana discusses Shay’s drinking with him. She says when he drinks, he drinks too much, and she doesn’t want to be his mom. He says she’s the only one who seems to notice and she says she’s the only one who counts since they’re married. Shay says it’s coming off like she’s calling him a loser and it’s bringing him down. They talk about having kids and moving back home. Wherever that is..

Jax visits Tom and Ariana. They’re getting rid of their couch and he’s there to help move it. He says the couch has a lot of history. I don’t want to know. They get it to the curb after a lot of struggling.

Ariana tells Jax about what Scheana said regarding his altercation with Tom. Tom says that’s not the way it went, but Jax is insistent that’s how he remembers it. Tom tells him to stop making everyone else look like crap to cover his own inadequacies. Jax seems to think Ariana’s influence is making Tom change. Tom says he’s been a good friend to all his friends and Jax is being ridiculous. Jax, who is not too happy, leaves.

Jax wonders who’s more excited about Brittany’s new boobs, him or her. He says that Brittany moving in with him is like getting pants altered, you can’t go back. He keeps talking about her like she’s not a human and it’s really irritating. The D’s are a success.

Peter asks Lala how she’s doing. She says she’s taken up reading books. I’m thinking Dick and Jane, but she claims to have read The Fountainhead. No doubt with a dictionary close by. She says it’s about architecture and I roll my eyes and rest my case. Peter tells her James got into an altercation with Richardson, the head server at PUMP, and it had something to do with him professing his love for Kristen. Lala says James’s drinking is off the chain.

Lisa comes in. Peter asks if she heard about the James thing and how he was insulting Richardson. Lala adds that’s how he gets when he drinks. Lisa says this isn’t acceptable. She says she doesn’t care if Kristen was the catalyst, James needs to get some control. She says she’s not going to let Richardson be disrespected by a little pipsqueak. Leave it to Lisa to find the perfect description for James.

Brittany is recovering from surgery and Jax has to help her do everything, including going to the bathroom. Katie and Schwartz come over. There’s some boob discussion and Katie asks if Jax is coming to their beach party. The engagement pictures are also going to happen there. Katie has decided to invite Lala, ending the not inviting each other competition.

The beach party begins. Katie has very specific vision for the pictures. She has a scenario from some movie where she’s going to “rescue” Schwartz from drowning. At least it’s not the typical deal.

Tom and Ariana start to talk about Jax to Scheana and Shay, but Jax shows up at that moment. He tells them about James. Scheana says all she knows is that Lisa is meeting with both James and Richardson..

Lisa tells Richardson that James will be remorseful and begging, so be ready. Lisa says James has been texting her non-stop apologies. James comes in and says he’s embarrassed. He says Kristen threw her new boyfriend in his face, they started arguing, Richardson intervened and it escalated. Richardson and Lisa talk in French about James’s drinking. Richardson tells James the ratchet things he said. Lisa says this is a pattern and maybe he isn’t ready for the PUMP job. James claims he had an epiphany. Lisa starts to talk and James unwisely interrupts her begging for just a suspension. She tells him to go away and grow up. He asks about the PUMP CD and she says that’s not important right now. She understands he’s remorseful (and crying like a big baby), but maybe this is a lesson for him. She tells him she wants him back to busing tables at SUR a few days a week. He apologizes to Richardson again and leaves. Richardson says Lisa has given James a lot of chances, and she says more than he deserves.

At the beach, Jax wonders where James is. Lala says she’s confused by the men at SUR who need to be glued to a woman while constantly cheating on her. Ariana brings up Kristen wanting to get into sketch comedy. In her individual interview, Ariana says Kristen is a joke, but she doesn’t make jokes. She also says she takes comedy very seriously which makes me laugh. Ariana doesn’t think Rachel’s jokes are funny, even though she’s never seen her show. She thinks that if Kristen is so interested in sketch comedy, she should take a class. Katie calls Ariana on her attitude. Ariana says she’s been faking having a good time with them. Scheana is annoyed with that. I like Ariana, but I’m kind of annoyed too. She kept harping about this taking a class business, and while that’s always a plus, I don’t think it’s necessary. Either you have a flair for entertainment or you don’t, and the audience seemed to be reacting positively to Kristen’s act.

Here comes James with new addition Laurel. Max is also with him. Peter asks what happened with James. He says he got fired from PUMP and the CD is on hold. He says he doesn’t blame anyone, even Kristen. Speaking of which, guess who’s here?

Jax, who can never wait to gossip, tells Kristen what Ariana said about her being in sketch comedy. Since Kristen can’t keep a lid on it, she tells Rachel immediately, and they confront Ariana. Ariana says sorry, she doesn’t think Rachel’s jokes are original. Kristen says Ariana isn’t a stamd-up comic and they argue. Tom adds his two cents. Kristen says Ariana is negative. Tom says Kristen only got back in the group because she’s been ass-kissing. Kristen says she doesn’t need this and screw you.

Everyone watches the sunset. Jax talks to Peter, saying he hasn’t seen one like that since Hawaii. Then he talks about not knowing what the consequences of his Hawaiin shopliftng adventure will be. He knows that his behavior is stupid, and wonders why he acts the way he does, and if he can change. He says even when it doesn’t concern him, he needs to be the center of attention and he doesn’t feel validated unless he’s being talked about. He ponders the possibility of losing his friends and how he doesn’t have anything else. This is actually a little sad.

Next week, Katie rage texts Schwartz, James tells his mother about being fired and Stassi has a surprise visitor.

Yay! The Vanderpump Rules After Show is back! Brandy and Julie are the best!

February 21, 2016 — The Dead Walk & the Wives Throw Shade


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The Walking Dead

Carl certainly seems to have recovered well from his eyeball mishap. All seems to be copacetic in Alexandria as well.

Denise gives Daryl a list of things needed as he’s going on a supply run with Rick. She also wants some soda and candy for a couple of the others. Ha-ha-ha! She calls soda “pop” and has to explain that to Daryl, saying she’s from Ohio. Me too, and it took me forever to start calling it “soda.”

Eugene gives Daryl a list of agricultural needs. Daryl and Rick drive off. Rick thinks today is the day they’ll find food and people. They haven’t seen anyone for weeks. Rick puts in a CD, while Daryl begs him not to. I assume they have different musical tastes.

Michonne is on guard duty. She sees Spencer going into the woods with a shovel.

Maggie asks Enid where she’s been. She says nowhere and Maggie thinks there are better places for her to be. Maggie tells her if she needs to talk to come to her.

Daryl and Rick find a feed store out in the middle of nowhere. (Is that where Enid has been?) No zombies inside, so they’re good. They find a truck and Rick suggests using it for the rest of their trip. They take the truck to a filling station, which I would doubt has any gas. They use the truck to flip over a vending machine, but instead of soda, a guy with a bandana over his nose and mouth pops out.

Dude says he was just running from the dead. Daryl asks how many and where. He says more than 10 and they probably have about 10 minutes to get out of there. He says his name is Paul, but his friends used to call him Jesus. Rick starts to ask him the three questions, but Paul-Jesus says he’s in a hurry and runs off.

Rick tells Daryl he noticed that Paul was clean with a trimmed beard, which means he’s been doing okay, and is contemplating picking him up later. They hear some gun shots and run around the other side of the station. It’s only firecrackers. Firecrackers put there by Paul who steals the truck. What would Jesus do? I’m not sure, but what he wouldn’t do is steal your truck.

Michonne follows Spencer. He’s about to whack a zombie and she does it for him. She asks why he’s there and he says he walks in between his shifts, but she’s the first one who’s noticed. She wants to walk with him, but he wants to go it alone. She says his mom told her to figure out what she wants for her life, but right now she’s trying to figure out why he’s walking around in the woods with a shovel.

Carl and Enid are also on a walk in the woods. They find a note in a plastic bag, but it’s wet, so they can’t read it. She says it doesn’t look very old and that means they’re not alone. Enid asks why they’re walking and Carl says that’s what kids do. Enid says she’s not a kid.

Rick and Daryl try chasing after the truck on foot, and come across the vending machine in the road, totally perplexing me. Daryl takes out a couple of cans for Denise. They have a drink and keep running.

Commercial break. Hey, it’s GH’s Obrecht back with Fear 462. And it looks like she’s been bitten. Or scratched. Or something.

Enid and Carl are sitting under a tree, having a snack and reading, when they see Michonne and Spencer. They don’t notice Carl and Enid. Enid says she doesn’t want to come out there anymore. Carl says okay and starts walking away, leaving her to carry everything. Nice.

They see a zombie and while Enid wants to ignore it, Carl is concerned about Michonne. He makes a sound so the zombie changes course. For whatever reason, he isn’t killing it and Enid wants to either kill it or leave. Carl knocks the zombie down and tells her if she doesn’t want to be there, to go home. So she leaves. I would too. He’s getting a little kooky.

Daryl and Rick continue to follow the truck’s trail until they finally see Paul. The truck is stopped and he’s messing around in the back. Rick grabs him from behind, but apparently Paul knows martial arts. Paul slips though and they draw their guns. Rick tells him he wants the keys. Paul says he’s not a bad guy and Rick says Paul doesn’t know what they are.

Rick gets the keys and they tie Paul up. Daryl says the knots aren’t that tight and he should be able to get loose when they’re gone. He throws Paul a can of soda and they take off, Daryl saying good-by with his middle finger.

Rick tells Daryl today is still the day. Well, they did see one person. They realize something is on the roof and stop short. Paul drops to the ground. Daryl jumps out of the moving truck and chases him. Rick stupidly stops the truck to help, which allows Paul to get back in the cab while Rick is dealing with the surrounding zombies. Paul grabs Daryl’s gun and tells Daryl to duck. He shoots a zombie coming up behind Daryl and Daryl knocks Paul out with a punch. All that has resulted from this is the truck sliding backwards and sinking into the nearby lake.

Daryl tells Rick they should go look at cars. Rick says what about unconscious Paul, since he did help Daryl. Daryl says fine, they’ll put him in a tree.

Michonne continues to follow Spencer. He tells her he’s fine, but he needs to take care of something. Or at least try. Michonne asks him to let her help, but he says she can’t. They see Carl in the distance being followed by a zombie.

Spencer says he thought he “saw her that night.” It’s Deanna. I thought they shot her that night. Spencer and Michonne put a hold on her and Spencer puts her out of her misery. So that’s why he was trolling the woods. The scene is brief, but sad.

Spencer and Michonne bury Deanna. He says she left him a note saying he knows his way, but he doesn’t think he does. Michonne says he loved his family and he still has a home in Alexandria. They head back.

Rick and Daryl have still unconscious Paul in the new truck. Rick says Paul must have a hard head, but Denise needs to take a look at him when they get back.

Carl is rocking Baby Judith on the porch. Michonne tells him she saw him with Deanna and that he should have left her or killed her. He says that’s stupid. She says what’s stupid is him being out there and Carl says he couldn’t leave her out there like that and he couldn’t kill her. She asks him if he was playing some kind of game. He says he thought someone who loved her should be the one to end her existence and Michonne would have done the same thing.

Daryl and Carl get back to Alexandria. Paul is still out and they carry him to Denise’s house. Or office. Whatever. They leave Paul on a mattress with a glass of water and a note. We don’t see what the note says.

Rick tries to get some shut-eye on the couch and Michonne tells him to move over. They watch Judith on a monitor. Michonne asks where Daryl is and Rick says he’s watching over a guy. Michonne is like, a guy? and asks him if he wants to talk about it. He says no, but what about her day? She says same thing and Rick asks if she found a guy too. He gives her some mints and says he had toothpaste per her request, but it’s at the bottom of the lake now.

All of a sudden, they realize they’re holding hands. They kiss. Dammit! I want her with Daryl. They move on to more than kissing.

We don’t see what happens next (nor do I want to), but in the next scene they’re nakey and in bed sleeping. Someone tells Rick to wake up. Paul is there. Now I’m wondering where Daryl is.

Next week, I have no idea what happens. Either they didn’t show it or I missed it somehow.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

The ladies are talking about Sheree having Googled Kim’s husband and tell Kim what had been discussed about him, throwing Kenya under the bus. Kenya says when Kim isn’t around, they all have something to say about Chris, but now it’s a different story. I agree. Kenya was not the only one talking about him in a negative way, but now he’s the most wonderful guy ever.

When Kim leaves, Kenya says what’s up with them not saying to her face what they said behind her back. Kenya says the rumors about Chris being gay have been around for years, so it’s not like she’s talking out of turn.

Kim and Nene meet for brunch. Nene feels badly about what happened in regard to Chris. Kim says she’s felt like a target and Nene says she should address it and not be passive.

Phaedra joins them and Nene fills her in. Both Nene and Phaedra say they’ve been Kenya’s targets in the past. Kim says she’s not going to lower herself. Nene says she has to do something, and Phaedra says it’s not necessary to lower herself. They role play to give Kim a reading lesson. They totally make fun of Kenya, which I guess is okay with Kim who finds it hysterically funny. Oddly enough, I think she just did lower herself.

Kandi and Todd go to meet with a potential chef for their restaurant. Todd says everyone is on board with it except Aunt Bertha. The aunts and Mama Joyce have been invited to check out the tasting menu. The chef comes out with the food and says if they don’t like it, he didn’t make it. Ha-ha!

The food looks phenomenal and everyone loves it except Aunt Bertha. She’s only okay with the ribs, which she says are off the chain. Everyone is also good with the restaurant idea except Aunt Bertha. Apparently, Aunt Bertha is a real pita.

Kim says while she appreciates Nene and Phaedra’s advice, reading isn’t her style. She calls Chris and tells him about the ladies Googling his sexual preferences. Chris isn’t bothered, but he mentions that there’s plenty on Google about all of them, like mug shots. Kim says she’d rather play grown than play dirty. Um, Kim, you weren’t playing grown in that restaurant.

Peter takes the group on the river walk that he calls the Jamaican Six Flags. The place is beautiful, but right away Nene is all I can’t do it. She waits while the others go. Kenya and Matt are at the top before anyone else. Cynthia says everything isn’t a competition and it could have been a bonding experience. Nene says she doesn’t like how Kenya is isolating herself. At least she did the activity and didn’t sit it out on the side.

Afterward, the group goes to a jerk place. I don’t mean the people are jerks, appropriate though it may be for this group; I mean the way the meat is smoked. Phaedra makes a face like she smelled something bad while she’s eating. The guys start bugging Matt about the age difference between him and Kenya, which I guess is also okay.

Nene talks about the brunch with Phaedra and Kim, and says they talked about Kenya. She says Kim doesn’t understand what the problem between them is, and suggests they discuss it. Kim says she feels Kenya crossed a line and disrespected her. She wants either no conversation or cordial conversation, but no more talk about her family. Kenya congratulates her on speaking for herself. Cynthia interrupts and says that Kim wasn’t throwing shade and Kenya was disrespectful. Kenya asks not to be interrupted, since she didn’t interrupt Kim. She says she doesn’t hate Kim but she’s indifferent.

Cynthia brings up how Kenya pulled Kim’s chair during an altercation. She says things like that can make an argument turn physical and she owes Kim an apology. Kenya thanks her for her honesty. Kim says it should hae been handled a different way. Kenya apologizes for the chair thing. Kim says if there’s mutual respect, they can get along and agree to disagree.

Cynthia thinks there’s a deeper issue than Kim and Kenya, and that she and Kenya need to address some things. Nene leaves and Peter suggests they have a shot. Frankly, I think that often leads to problems with these people too.

Sheree, Nene and Cynthia go to some ice cream place where I want one of everything. Cynthia seems to think the conversation with Kenya was productive. She also says Nene has come a long way. Really? Cynthia brought a list of things she wants to go over with Kenya and goes over it with the other two. Because it’s okay to throw shade when it’s you.

It’s the last night and Cynthia says despite the problems, she thinks everyone had a good time. They gather for cocktails at a gazebo near the water. Phaedra says Peter looks good enough to bury and Porsha asks if he’s “casket sharp.” Phaedra says when you look good enough to meet Jesus, you’re looking pretty good. She means the real Jesus, not the new Walking Dead guy. Cynthia says that this is the Peter she fell in love with.

It’s dinner time and Kenya still hasn’t shown up. Peter starts talking about how great the trip was, going over everything they’ve done so we can see flashbacks. Kenya and Matt arrive. Sheree’s ex, Bob, who came on the trip is hoping to get back together with her. They all make funny comments about Kenya and Matt. Matt used the word “love” in his conversation with the guys, so that gets some attention.

They talk about the commercial and Cynthia says the only thing missing for her was Kenya. Kenya says she wasn’t given the opportunity to present her concepts and it was hurtful. We flash back to all that mess. Cynthia says even though she chose Kim to direct, she’d wanted Kenya to play opposite her as the best friend. Kenya jokes that was before Nene came back. Nene says she’s always going to be around. Interesting, since the last season we heard from her, she couldn’t stand working with any of them. I guess the big world of acting wasn’t as easy as she thought.

Peter says Kenya was her first choice. Kenya says that when she felt everyone was against her, Cynthia was the one who stood up for her. She says she was in her feelings and behaved like a jerk (this time meaning as in a person). She says she’s sorry she let Cynthia down. Cynthia says it was important to her and sometimes friends have to do what they don’t feel like doing. She accepts the apology, but I think that was an unnecessary comment.

Phaedra, being the cretin she is, says that she thinks it’s just more bad acting form Kenya. I like this woman less and less every episode.

They have a final toast.

Next week, the ladies have a lingerie photo shoot, Matt wants a wife, and Phaedra’s kids visit their dad in prison.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Is the season over yet?

I notice Ashley’s voice goes up a notch when she gets excited. This isn’t a good look when doing business.

Karen and her daughter, Raven, are taking a self-defense class. Karen wants her daughter to learn to defend herself since she’s going off to college. About a year prior, Karen was mugged and had her diamond necklace stolen. She says she kept her ring though, since she took it off and slid it into “Never Never Land.” I don’t even want to think about what that means, but I am wondering how she accomplished that during the mugging.

Karen says the job of a parent is never done, so she also bought Raven a hot pink stun gun.

Ashley and Michael are opening a restaurant geared toward Australian fare. She’s looking for an assistant and conducting interviews. When they get to asking the candidates about their knowledge of Australia, it’s pretty much a blank slate across the board. After the interviews, Ashley and Michael discuss the interviewees and they both are leaning toward Jasmine.

Robyn comes to visit Charrisse. Since Charrisse gets “NBA life” (whatever that means), Robyn says she shares a bond with her that she doesn’t with the others. They have some food and wine. Robyn tells Charrisse that her ex-husband might have to take out-of-state work. Charrisse asks if she’s still in love with him. Even though she lives with him, they share a bed and have sex, Robyn says they’re not in a relationship. Okay. Robyn says she thinks she’s going to stay in Potomac if he goes, but if she misses him, that might change.

Charrisse says she’s on the fence about her marriage. She says her husband is a great father, but a lousy husband. She’s feeling she’s at the point where something drastic has to happen. She basically blew him off in a text to which he never responded. She says wants a divorce, and Robyn tells her if he won’t do it, she’ll have to.

Gizelle is having a girls’ night with Karen, who’s hoping to gossip with her instead of about her. Is this the level of etiquette she’s so proud of? They talk about how Ashley had a cash bar at her birthday party, which I have to admit is a bit crass. Gizelle said she walked out without paying because she didn’t know. I’ll have to remember that one for next time. Karen says she wants to school Ashley in how to entertain.

Karen is having a couples dinner. She says it’s BYOM — Bring Your Own Man. Gizelle wonders about the ladies whose husbands work away from home. They discuss Katie making out like crazy with her boyfriend at the birthday party and seem to think she’s “on something.” They sound like my grandmother or Archie Bunker. A storm starts outside and thunder happens every time they try to talk shade. I think God is trying to tell them something.

Ashley’s mom and brother come over. They play a game of pool and she tells them about the other Potomac ladies. Ashley’s mom was a single mother and they’re very close. She recently had to file bankruptcy and I wonder why Ashley didn’t help her out. Oh, okay, it seems like her mother doesn’t want her helping out.

Katie is waiting for Karen at a restaurant and talking to her boyfriend on the phone. She’s nervous because she wants to get her on the host committee for her foundation.

Karen arrives. Karen says something about the PDA at Ashley’s event and Katie apologizes. She asks what Karen thought about the cat theme and Karen says she’s a little old for all that nonsense, and calls it a teeny-bopper party. Karen approaches her about the Rost Foundation. She says she has a month to get a casino night together and needs Karen’s help. She’s looking for donations in the amount of 100K, and asks Karen if she’ll be on the committee, but Karen says she’s booked. And she won’t give up her Rolodex either. Do people still use those? Probably only people who use phrases like teeny-bopper.

Gizelle meets her date, Herman. She’s getting back into the dating pool, and I’m thinking she can do better than this. It’s her second date and I guess his credentials are impressive. They make a toast with water and he gets a little forward. The raw oysters come and Herman made the mistake of thinking they were fried. Although I like them now, I made this same mistake in a restaurant when I was 12. I was totally grossed out once I put the oyster in my mouth. I didn’t want to swallow it, but I didn’t want to spit it out in a restaurant full of people, so I just sat there with it in my mouth until I couldn’t deal anymore and chugged it down.

Gizelle thinks Herman needs a little more pizzazz. I could have told her that. She invites him to the couple’s dinner. He starts talking about it being a third date, but she says it doesn’t count. On top of it he makes the horrible mistake of calling the oysters “clams.” I’m not saying it’s horrible — I do it all the time — but Gizelle seems put off by it.

Katie and Andrew meet Ashley and her husband for a round of golf. Katie says she doesn’t really like the game, but she likes the outfits and driving the cart. Ashley hits the dirt the first time out, but manages to hit the ball on the second try.

The girls have a drink while the guys continue on with the game. Katie tells Ashley about Karen not being able to be on the committee. She tells Ashley that Karen thought the birthday party was for a younger crowd and Ashley says that was kind of ageist. Katie says she likes hanging out with Ashley rather than the old biddies, who aren’t really that old, but act like it.

Karen had matriarchs of the community to help her when she first was getting the hang of big society, and she feels responsible to help Ashley the same way.

Robyn is playing a game of basketball with her ex, Juan, and their kids. She says they’re technically not a couple (seriously, I’d like to know just what they are), so she doesn’t think she wants to bring him to the dinner because they have enough pressure.

Ashley and Michael arrive first for the dinner, then Gizelle with Herman. The rest trickle in. They’re on a docked yacht. Say that three times real fast.

Karen’s husband Ray makes a toast. Michael suggests they go swimming and Ray is all for it, but Karen puts the kibosh on that idea. There’s a lot of cocktail chatter, none of it interesting. Katie tells Gizelle about Karen calling her out about the PDA. Gizelle says it really wasn’t cool, and Katie says she’s sorry and that she’d had too much to drink. I’d be drinking a lot too, if I was around these people. Gizelle says she’ll help with the casino night.

Michael wants to go swimming, and begins to take his shoes and pants off, and Gizelle discourages it. Karen is all like, “we” don’t do this. Is that the royal “we” or is she pregnant? She says she loves what he’s trying to do, but not here. Ashley invites all the ladies to their beach house for a girls’ weekend.

Next week, Gizelle doesn’t have a bed at the beach house, Katie is called out again because no one can drop it, the ladies turn it out at a gay club, and Karen is done with Ashley.

February 19, 2016 — GH, Sitcoms & the Couches


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)


General Hospital — Thursday

Alexis and Julian are getting pre-wedding romantic when there’s a knock at the door. It’s Olivia. She’s had a premonition.

Nicholas goes to Sam’s place. She asks why he wants her to investigate Hayden.

Hayden shows Diane her ring. I love Diane! Diane gives her a folder and Hayden is happy with the contents.

Morgan tells Sonny it won’t happen again and Sonny fires him. Carly comes in and Sonny asks if he should tell her or will Morgan.

Paul says he’s not a killer and Anna says tell that to Sloane, whose body Paul pretended was Carrrlos’s. Paul says she’s right, he killed Sloane, and he’d do it again.

Julian asks if Olivia’s premonition can wait. She says she saw the two of them having a wonderful life together. Ha-ha-ha! She says her intuition told her everything is going to go well. Alexis points out the candles and wine. Olivia gets the hint. The phone rings and Julian goes to answer it.

Diane asks Hayden why she’s not using one of the many attorneys at her disposal. Hayden says Diane is perfect for the job because she and Nicholas need the utmost discretion. Diane asks if Nicholas will be joining them and if he’s aware of her plan.

Nicholas tries to make nice and Sam tells him to go to hell.

Sonny tells Carly that Morgan and Darby were having sex in the warehouse. Carly freaks and Morgan tells her to chill. Morgan says Kiki walked in, so he doesn’t need another headache. He says Sonny is overreacting and Carly asks if he took his pills. He asks why everyone is asking him, and Sonny says because he’s being manic and out of control.

Anna says she needs Carrrlos to get justice for Duke and asks Paul why he’s doing this. She wants to know how he factors into it. She suddenly says it’s Sonny and wonders if Carrrlos was working for Julian or Paul. Anna thinks Sonny’s shooting is involved. Paul says Carrrlos was working for him, but she’s way off the mark. He killed Sloane because he had to.

Olivia wants to talk to Alexis. She says she thanks God for Alexis’s determination to get to the truth and she’s happy that Leo has a father. She gives Alexis credit for getting Julian to change his ways. They hug. Aww!

Hayden says Nicholas won’t be coming and she needs all communication to be just between the two of them. Diane says the documents that transfer Nicholas’s fortune to Hayden aren’t binding without his signature.

Sam tells Nicholas how selfish he was, helping Elizabeth lie about Jason and keeping him from his family and now he has the gall to ask for help. He tells her to do it for Spencer because she’d want to protect Danny the same way. This gets her where she lives and she agrees to help.

Paul shows Anna a picture of Susan. He says she was the light of his life. At one time, the cartel made Susan sick to procure his help. He says she made a full recovery but his guilt caused him to overcompensate and he gave her everything she wanted. By the time he realized this was a bad idea, she was off to college and getting into trouble. He cut her off financially and she severed contact with him, but he never stopped loving her. Anna asks what this has to do with Sloane and he says Sloane knew Susan and destroyed her life.

Morgan says he’s taking his meds and he knows how important it is. Carly doesn’t believe him and he says count the pills or have him tested, adding they’re never going to trust him. Sonny says look what happened when they did. He says if Morgan understood how big a deal it is, they wouldn’t be having this argument.

Paul says after he cut off Susan’s finances, she moved in with Sloane. Sloane became controlling and demeaning. He undermined her self-confidence, and was verbally and physically abusive. After a year, she left him and he became enraged. He hunted her down and beat and raped her.

Julian comes back in and Olivia gets ready to leave. First, she shows them a choice of outfits for Leo. Olivia sees blood on Julian’s hands. Perhaps this vision is merely symbolic. Pretty astute of me, eh?

Paul says he’ll never forget the look on Susan’s face when she showed up at his door. He said he was familiar with rape victims, but it was different because it was his daughter. He went looking for Sloane that night, but couldn’t find him. Susan refused to press charges and Sloane moved away so Paul never confronted him. When he came back to Port Charles, Mayor Lomax said she was having trouble with none other than Sloane.

Morgan suggests they think he’s crazy. Sonny says he has to learn that his actions have consequences. Morgan says he wanted to work with Sonny’s organization, not slugging coffee beans. He says they see him as a problem they need to fix and walks out.

Hayden says of course she knows, but they don’t want the documents to be valid yet, because there are still things up in the air. She is so vague, I can’t imagine Diane isn’t on to her.

Nicholas tells Sam about the guy who called Hayden “Rachel,” and gives him the information he has. He says Hayden claims it was mistaken identiry. He says he did a search of Baxter’s firms and no Rachel who ever worked there looked like Hayden, so if she knows him, it’s from somewhere else.

Olivia suddenly says she’s late to feed Leo and has to go. Julian says she’s clearly upset. Olivia says she saw blood on his hands. DUN-DUN-DUNN!

At first Paul thought it must be a mistake until he saw Sloane’s picture. Sloane had been fired from the police department he’d worked for at the time, making tracking him difficult. Paul says after there was an APB out for Carrrlos, he’d gotten a call from Sloane, saying he had information, but he didn’t realize it was Paul he was talking to. He met Sloane at the docks. Sloane said he and Carrrlos were going to set Anna up. Paul says when their business was concluded, he figured he could kill two birds with one stone and shot Sloane. However, someone saw him. My only criticism of this is why didn’t he tell Sloane why he was going to shoot him before he did? Didn’t him not knowing take away some of the satisfaction? Although I do always say, if you’re gonna shoot, shoot, don’t talk.

Olivia says it was just a flash and she’s sure it has nothing to do with the wedding. She leaves and Alexis says that was disturbing. Julian suggests they continue to enjoy their last night as singles.

Diane says if she has any questions to call her and the first question is free. Hayden says she wants her free question now and asks if they need an attorney present when the papers are signed. Diane says no.

Sam asks why Nicholas didn’t get the answers first before rushing into marriage. He says there’s something about Hayden he can’t shake and he’s fascinated by her. He loves her, but he doesn’t trust her, no more than she trusts him. Sam asks if Hayden holds a grudge, since he did try to have her shot. Nicholas says he’ll feel like a fool if Sam finds something, but needs to minimize the damage for Spencer’s sake.

Carly wants to call Kiki in case Morgan goes to her. Sonny tells her not to freak out and that like it or not, Morgan isn’t a minor. All they can do is love and support him. Carly says she doesn’t understand and that she thought Morgan got it . She wonders what happened to make him not take his meds. Hmm… I’ll bet I know.

Raj tells Dixon about renting The Haunted Star. They discuss the meeting and shipment. Morgan is eavesdropping. Dixon says they’re taking a risk going through Sonny’s territory. Raj says there’s nothing to worry about this time.

Paul says Sloane had contacted Carrrlos and Carrrlos was at the docks. Paul realized using Sloane’s body was the perfect solution; it would benefit Carrrlos as well, and Carrrlos would have nothing on him. He said he had to intervene when he found out Anna knew that Carrrlos was still alive. Anna says Paul must still be helping Carrrlos.

Anna is pretty pissed that Paul was manipulating her. He says hold on there, Anna did the same thing, taking justice into her own hands by killing Carrrlos (or she thought she did anyway). She wants to tell Jordan. Paul says it’s her choice, but he’d hoped when she knew the whole story, she’d feel differently. Anna tells him to leave. When he’s gone, Anna sees the picture of Susan on the floor and looks at it

Nicholas and Hayden are getting busy.

Sam leaves a message for Baxter saying he was recommended as a financial adviser and she’d like to set up a meeting.

Alexis and Julian are done getting busy. They talk about their younger years and how they started their romance in the back of a Camaro. Alexis says it’s all come full circle and she couldn’t be happier. They get re-busy.

Olivia ponders the blood on Julian’s hands and what it means.

Sonny tells Carly that no matter how badly they want to step in, they can’t enable Morgan. He says look at the mess Morgan just made and that he’ll learn what happens when you don’t take your meds. Carly says she hopes so.

Carly leaves and Max calls Sonny about the shipment time — midnight. Sonny says after his social obligation, they’re shutting these guys down.

Raj tells Dixon that Sonny is a weakling in a wheelchair. Dixon says he hopes he’s right and changes the shipment time to six. Morgan takes note of this.

Tomorrow, it’s Julian and Alexis’s wedding, Dante asks Anna what she knows and Sonny tells Morgan the obvious.


While sitcoms aren’t exactly my thing, I’m loving the CBS Thursday night line-up. The Big Bang Theory, Life in Pieces, Mom and Two Broke Girls.

The Big Bang Theory is so clever, I’m shocked it’s still on the air. I can also vouch for its accuracy, having kept company with several engineers and physicists. While exaggerated, it hits the nail on the head with their personalities, and that makes it even funnier to me.

Life in Pieces is still new, but captured me pretty quickly, again being cleverly written. The casting is also terrific. I’ve always loved James Brolin — I met him at a car show when I was a teenager — and I’d be surprised if this role wasn’t written for him. He hasn’t often had the chance to be funny, and he’s playing this character for all it’s worth.

Some people might not exactly find the life of recovering alcoholics amusing, but Mom (also wonderfully cast) is surprisingly touching at times. It also rings with exaggerated accuracy. While not an alcoholic myself, I’ve had a few of them in my life over the years, and also worked for Al-Anon’s corporate office in the 80s. Even though it can be a tragic situation, most good comedy has elements of tragedy. And better to laugh than cry.

I have no excuse for liking Two Broke Girls. It’s sexist, politically incorrect and has virtually no social merit. It still makes me laugh though. I swear, Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs could just stand there and I’d start laughing. It’s also great to see Garrett Morris. Maybe part of the reason I like the show is that I feel guilty about mistaking him for a homeless person when I worked at a bank in Rockefeller Center. Most of the NBC employees banked there and Dan Aykrod (then on SNL) even dated one of the tellers. It was a busy place and I took Garrett’s slip without even looking up. It was one of those slips you get from the desk and I saw his account number wasn’t completely filled in, which meant he didn’t know it. Hmm… Here was this scruffy guy in a wrinkled coat who didn’t know his account number. And then I noticed the name and felt completely stupid.

General Hospital — Friday

Morgan texts Kiki and she pretends not to know who he is. Lucas comes along and Kiki tells him Morgan isn’t coming to the wedding because she doesn’t date scum. Now tell us how you really feel.

Sonny asks Morgan what’s up since he was out all night. He says to stop worrying since he’ll be out of Sonny’s life and house by tonight.

Olivia comes to The Haunted Star in a happy mood. Lulu asks if she was expecting her to be with Dante, since she was in on the plot to lock them in the hotel room.

Dante tells Anna he believes someone is running arms through Port Charles.

Ava meets Paul at the docks. He says Dixon is handling the transaction personally and he wants to meet her. She says she’d really rather not, but Dixon comes out and says that’s not an option.

Alexis is going insane as only brides-to-be can go insane. Molly and Christina are there, and Christina wonders what’s up with Molly, who is pretty cheery. Julian enters and talks about how he’s changed. Why is he bothering the bride before the wedding?

Lulu tells Olivia that what the three of them did (meaning Maxie, Olivia and Nathan) was totally uncalled for. Olivia asks if it worked. Lulu says they’re talking and Olivia gets super excited.

Dante talks about Raj and Anna says he must have an associate in Port Charles. Anna suggests Ava, but Dante says it must be someone higher up. Anna says she’d investigate, but Paul has her running around, focusing on other things. A light bulb comes on over Anna’s head.

Dixon tells Paul and Ava the shipment is coming at six. Ava says Julian is getting married at six and she can’t be there for the shipment. Dixon says that her making a point of not being there concerns him. I’m concerned about Dixon’s mental capacity, since this is probably a pretty high profile wedding and it would be difficult to make up something like that. Reading my mind, Ava pulls out the invitation. She says if she’s not there, people might start asking questions. Dixon says if there are any problems, he knows where to find her.

Sam joins the crew at Alexis’s and kicks Julian out because it’s bad luck. A little too late for that I think.

Kiki tells Lucas about what happened at the warehouse. She says she thinks Morgan is off his medication. Lucas says it’s a reason for his behavior, but not an excuse. Thank you.

Morgan asks why Sonny is going to the wedding. Sonny tells him it’s important to Christina and he does things for his kids. Morgan says yeah, some of them, others, he fires. Sonny says Morgan was doing some girl instead of his job, and he wouldn’t be a good father if there were no consequences. Morgan says he’s out of there and it’s what Sonny wants. Sonny says that he wants Morgan healthy and happy, and if moving out will help him with that, so be it.

Morgan asks if Sonny is going to argue with him and Sonny says he’s not a prisoner. Sonny says he’ll be able to find his own way and show the world what he’s capable of. Sonny asks if he has a place or a job. Morgan says he’s working on a place and he has a prospect with Julian for a job. I’m pretty sure he’s making that up, since we haven’t seen him talking to Julian about that.

Since no one can stay away from the bar, Ava, Kiki, Nathan and Julian get together there for a pre-wedding toast.

Sam brings news about Jake along with the bouquet and they talk about Shriners hospitals again. Molly doles out the responsibilities and says all Alexis has to do is cooperate. Diane bursts in and says she’s there to stop Alexis from knuckling under to an archaic, patriarchal system, and then says she’s kidding. She’s actually happy for Alexis, but says she’s jealous that Alexis beat her to the altar. (Yeah, like how many times now?)

Olivia asks if the plan worked. Lulu tells Olivia they got to step four. Lulu’s phone rings and she says they have to leave because the boat has been rented out for the evening. Olivia asks what’s next for her and Dante, and Lulu says to keep talking.

Paul comes by the station. Anna tells Dante she’ll get back to him, and Dante leaves. Anna gives Paul the picture of Susan that he’d dropped. Paul says she holds his fate in her hands and asks what she’s going to do with it.

Lulu comes by the station and tells Dante she just had a visit from his mother. Lulu says she told her that they’re talking, but not to get her hopes up. Dante says too late, her hopes are already up.

Morgan says Julian has a publishing empire and there’s bound to be room for him in it. Sonny says maybe not after he cheated on Julian’s daughter. Morgan suggests he can find a job with Jax then. I assume he means Jasper Jacks and not Jax from Vanderpump Rules. Sonny says when you’re bi-polar, you find people’s buttons and push them. He says he knows Morgan is trying to get to him, but sooner or later he’s going to have to get it together. He says the way he’s acting right now, he’s obviously sick.

Anna says she’s been mulling over if Paul’s actions in killing Sloane were justified. He asks if they can let it go, because he needs her help with another matter. She says she’s not going to let the Carrrlos thing go. He says Carrrlos has something on both of them. Anna says she doesn’t care if she goes to prison, as long as Carrrlos pays for killing Duke.

Back at the bar, there’s a lot of positive family talk.

Molly gives Alexis something blue, ribbons from Molly’s hair when she was little. Christina has something new, a framed photo of Alexis and her daughters, Sam gives her something old, a toy Camaro; and Diane provides something borrowed, handcuffs and a leash. And we’ll leave it at that. Molly makes a comment, and all of a sudden, Christina looks at Molly and says Molly finally did it. She had sex. I hate to be a party pooper, but I thought all that something borrowed stuff is supposed to be worn at the wedding ceremony. Is Alexis going to bring a huge pocketbook to carry it all around?

Dante says he’ll talk to his mom and Lulu says don’t be too hard on her. She says Dante was right about The Haunted Star being no place for her and Rocco to live. She’s going to move in with Nicholas until she finds something. She says she has to go back to the boat to clear some things out before the private party happens. He asks if they’ll talk soon and she says they still have more steps to go through.

Ava tells Kiki she looks amazing in the dress (she does!) and Morgan will love it. Kiki says he’s not coming and that she found him having sex with another girl and it’s over for good this time. Ava says she’s sorry and hugs her.

Morgan says he knew it, Sonny and Carly think he’s nuts. Frankly, so do I. Sonny says he knows he’s not taking his meds. Morgan starts to argue and then says Sonny is right, but he can do what he wants with his own body. Sonny says not in his house and not with his baby sister around. Morgan is surprised Sonny would think he’d hurt his sister, but Sonny says he’s already hurt people like Kiki and his own mother. Sonny says he won’t stand by and watch, and Morgan has to help himself.

Molly tells Christina not to be crass. Christina tells her welcome to the other side and Alexis starts to cry. Diana says someone remind her not to have children. Diane is the best!

Lucas tells Julian it was easy to come out to someone he didn’t really know, but that Julian was a father to him even then. Lucas gives him a letter to read after the wedding.

Paul tells Anna he wants to bring in Julian, but not like this. Dixon calls him, telling him he wants to see him in 30 minutes or the deal is off. Paul says he needs Anna’s help and that there’s some gun running afoot. Anna says she knew he was involved and tells him he’s done. Paul says she’s looking at it wrong, He’s working against Raj and planning a sting. I see they’re trying to make Paul a semi-good guy now. I’m guessing the fans must like him. Me too.

Alexis says she knew it was coming, simultaneously wondering why it wasn’t happening while hoping it never would. She says she can’t call Molly her baby anymore. She asks Molly if they used protection and did TJ treat her right. Molly says of course. Alexis says she wants them to be able to tell her anything any time, even on her wedding day. She asks if Christina has anything to tell her.

Morgan tells Sonny he knows Sonny doesn’t have faith in him. Sonny says that isn’t the point. Morgan says he’s not Sonny and has to do this. He walks out.

Olivia joins the others at the bar and apologizes to Julian for her weirdness. She says it was really nothing and Julian asks why she brought it up in the first place then.

Morgan leaves a message for Kiki that he’s not the screw up she thinks he is. He says that something is happening at pier 54 tonight and he’s going to prove to everyone that he’s a stand-up guy.

Paul says he’s been working undercover. He gives Anna his contact name and says to check with them if she doesn’t believe him, because he needs her help. She can’t believe he has no backup and now he’s saddling her with it. He asks if she wants to make Port Charles a safer place or not.

Sonny says they’re going to shut things down tonight. Except he’s going to be six hours late.

Anna tells Paul he’s overlooked a major complication — Sonny. Paul says Sonny doesn’t know anything and Anna says he’s delusional. She tells him if he wants this to work, he has to make sure Sonny is out of it. Paul says he trusts Anna and she’s left holding the Sonny bag.

Lulu goes to The Haunted Star. Raj is already there. He says he rented the place and expected privacy. She says that she just came to pick something up, but sees he’s wearing a gun and suddenly she has to get something from the car.Too late. Raj grabs her.

Alexis repeats that Christina can tell her anything and for some reason thinks that Christina is pregnant. Christina says no, it’s something else, but it can wait until after the wedding.

Olivia tells Julian that her psychic vibrations are telling her that the wedding will be dull as dirt. Methinks Olivia is either lying or she needs to go back to psychic school.

Dante leaves a message for Lulu saying if she needs help to let him know, but Lulu is literally all tied up right now.

Anna comes bursting into Sonny’s house looking for him. Paul is already at the pier. He tells Dixon that the truck is waiting to take the shipment to the gallery. Dixon asks if he has the money. Doesn’t he notice Paul is carrying a steel briefcase? That’s not his lunch in there. Paul says he’ll get it as soon as the shipment is complete.

Morgan waits in the shadows with a gun.

On Monday, Olivia gets more vibes, Anna wants to talk to Sonny, and Franco is unsure about marriage.

People’s Couch Quotes

These flashbacks. I need a map and a time line. — Scott referring to How to Get Away with Murder.

I don’t wanna talk about it no more. My brain hairs are already singed. — Princella, after watching How to Get Away with Murder.

There are some things Cher should not sing.
That’s not true. — Blake and Scott respectively, talking about Cher covering Coldplay’s If I Ruled the World, during the Super Bowl halftime show.

February 17, 2016 — Big GH & Little LA & Atlanta


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Kiki walks into the warehouse and sees Morgan going at it with Darby. He says it’s not what it looks like. Puh-leeze.

Sonny is having a visit with Avery. Michael and Dante join him. Dante asks Michael about Valentine’s day. Michael says no magic was worked by St. Valentine. Dante says some magic was worked, but he doesn’t think St. Valentine had much to do with it.

Nathan and Maxie are at you-know-where, and she tells him what a great Valentine’s Day she had. She says it was nice staying at the MetroCourt and Nathan adds that it beats the crowd at their apartment. They see Lulu, who’s still wearing the same clothes she had on the day before.

Dante asks Sonny if he knows anything about the gun running.

Anna tells Mac about Susan, but Paul comes by so she starts making up something about a canceled lunch. She asks Paul if she can have the rain-check on the scotch, and if he’d like to go to lunch.

Paul suggests the skip the restaurant and go somewhere else. Raj calls and asks Paul if they’re still on for the 19th. The big boss, Dixon, also wants to meet with Paul and Ava. Raj says something about Morgan being at the wedding when they’re going to make the delivery.

Morgan says he can explain. Kiki says what’s to explain? He’s having sex with Darby in public when he couldn’t do it with her. She asks if Darby is hotter. Maybe, but she’s also pretty stupid because she pops into the conversation saying apparently so and she and Kiki almost fistfight. Kiki tells Morgan she thought she could trust him. He says that he wasn’t doing it to hurt her, but doing it for her.

Dante gives Sonny some information on Dixon and Sonny acts ignorant. He says he has nothing to do with weapons. Dante says that’s not giving him an answer and Sonny says it’s all he’s got. Sonny says he doesn’t want to discuss it in front of Avery and that he gets little enough visitation time. Dante says it wouldn’t surprise him if Ava was involved with the gun running and also wouldn’t surprise him if Sonny was planning on using that to get Avery back. He asks if he’s getting warm.

Lulu joins Nathan and Maxie. Maxie points out that Lulu must have slept in the hotel. Lulu says she did, but Dante went back to the loft. She tells Maxie they did manage to get to step number four in the magazine article and that they’re going to work on things. Maxie says the right amount of meddling helps. Lulu asks how their Valentine’s Day went. Maxie says it was wonderful and Nathan says the privacy was awesome. Lulu gets a clue that it’s crowded with her and Rocco at the apartment.

Lulu says she was so wrapped up in her own problems, it didn’t occur to her that they might want privacy. Maxie and Nathan try to back-peddle, but Lulu says she’s moving out and is going to stay at The Haunted Star in the meantime. Maxie says maybe she should go home to Dante.

Sonny says there’s no proof Ava is involved. Dante says he hopes the time doesn’t come when Sonny regrets not telling him something when he had the chance. Sonny asks about Lulu and Dante says things are better than they were. When he leave,s Sonny tells Avery he’s lying to everyone he loves except her. He says it’s called compromise and it will just be for a little while longer.

Darby says either Morgan is full of crap or using her, but either way, she’s out of there. Kiki says in what world is having sex with Darby for her. Morgan says he needed to prove to himself that he’s still a man. He says he doesn’t care if he disappointed Darby, but if he could do it with her, he could do it with Kiki.

Paul tells Raj to tell Dixon there’s no need to take action about Morgan and he’ll explain everything later. Paul suggests going to Anna’s place for lunch so they can speak freely.

Lulu says she and Dante aren’t ready to move in together again. Maxie says she thought things were better. Lulu says the article was helpful for them to realize the problems they had before Valerie. Maxie asks what’s next and Lulu says moving out. Lulu says Maxie and Nathan seem to be on their way to marriage. Maxie says when Nathan gave her a charm for her bracelet, she freaked when she saw the jewelry box, thinking it was an engagement ring. Lulu tells her instead of focusing on all that can go wrong, focus on what’s good between her and Nathan.

Nathan tells Dante he tried to talk Maxie out of meddling. Dante says he and Lulu were pissed at first, but they talked and things are better. Nathan tells Dante about Lulu wanting to move out.

Kiki tells Morgan she believes him that Darby was just practice. She says it might be practice for him, but to her it’s cheating and he never considers her feelings. He says he’ll put her first from now on and she says they’ve been there before. Kiki sys he can’t blame not being able to keep it in his pants on his bi-polar issues and she never wants to see him again.

Sonny and Michael discuss Avery. Michael says Ava shouldn’t have custody and Sonny says it won’t be much longer.

Anna and Paul are at her place. She offers to make lunch, but he says he just wants her company. He says they have a lot in common. Anna says they’ve both made mistakes with relationships. Paul says he’s way ahead there. Anna says she spoke with Dillon and tells Paul about the photo shoot. He asks what they talked about and Anna says mostly him and how he disappointed Tracy. Anna tells Paul that after Duke died, she fell into a relationship with Sloane.

Sonny tells Michael he always has a plan. He doesn’t want to jinx it by telling Michael the details, but Avery will be home soon. Michael says he’ll help him. Sonny gets all defensive. Morgan comes in and starts talking to Avery while Sonny looks at him like he’s a nut. Morgan goes upstairs to shower and Michael asks if Sonny thinks something is off.

Maxie is working at a table in the MetroCourt and chats with Kiki. They talk about Nina and Maxie says how she kicked Nina’s look up a notch to give her more confidence. Kiki asks if she can so that for her. Maxie asks why she’d want a make-over since she’s gorgeous, and Kiki says because her life is a disaster.

Lulu is at The Haunted Star and consults the couples counseling article. Dante comes by. Dante asks if she’s planning on living there, and says he doesn’t think it’s safe.

Paul says Anna is being too hard on herself. Anna says she realized she’d made a mistake and tried to be friendly, but Sloane disappeared. Paul said he and Tracy weren’t a couple, but he wanted them to be a family with Dillon and blew it. He says he has no one to blame but himself for his failures with his children. Their hands touch over the muffins. Anna’s phone rings. It’s a text from Mac.

Anna says she’ll deal with the call later and gets up to get sugar. Paul grabs her arm and asks what’s up with the text. It says “Call me. I’ve dug up something on Hornsby’s daughter.” Well, this isn’t good.

Maxie tells Kiki that Morgan fooling around with someone else has nothing to do with her. Maxie says people cheat for all kinds of reasons and maybe Morgan is scared of his love for her. Kiki says regardless, she isn’t having any. Maxie starts talking about hiding from love, but she’s really talking about herself.

Lulu tells Dante he’s lost the right to tell her where to live and that it’s perfectly safe. Dante says what about Windemere, and she says she loves her family, but doesn’t want to live with them. Dante says as a cop, he’s telling he it’s not safe there. She asks if he learned nothing from their talk, and he says fair enough. Dante tells her he’s proud of her having her own business. She says she’d never stay there if she thought here was the slightest bit of danger for Rocco. Dante leaves and she goes back to the article.

Raj is in the doorway.

Sonny needs to say good-by to Avery and Michael goes to keep the caseworker at bay while he does. Sonny is pretty cute with this kid, but she’s getting so big, I suspect she’ll be in high school next week. Michael comes back to take Avery to the caseworker. He tells Avery soon she’ll be home for good.

Morgan comes barreling down the stairs and Sonny says they have to talk. He asks Morgan what’s going on and if he’s off his meds.

Paul says that was fast. He says he heard Anna talking about his daughter at the station and that this must have been a set up to get information from him. He says he warned her to back off a long time ago and she should have listened. Anna asks what he’s going to do, kill her?

Morgan says he took his medication. Sonny says don’t lie. He got a call from the warehouse about Morgan and Darby. Morgan tries to blow it off, but Sonny says there are security cameras. Sonny fires him.

Kiki asks Maxie about her bracelet. Maxie says Nathan gave it to her and gave her another charm for Valentine’s Day. Kiki says please don’t tell her that there are still some good men out there, she wants to believe they’re all screw ups. She says Maxie is right that a make-over isn’t going to fix things. Maxie says if only it were that easy.

Dante tells Nathan he has to trust that Lulu knows what she’s doing.

Raj says he’s looking for the manager. Lulu says that’s her and he asks if he can rent the boat for a party tomorrow night. He tells her that he had a place set up for his boss’s birthday party, but it turned out his boss had a beef with the owner. Now he has everything except a location. He says he’ll even cover her people’s salaries even though he doesn’t need to use them, because if he doesn’t pull this off, he’ll get fired. Lulu says they have a deal and he introduces himself as Mr. Roy.

Paul acts offended that Anna would say such a thing. He says he might have bent the law in the past and he’s a bad husband and father, but not a killer. She says tell Sloane that, since he had him killed and substituted his body for Carrrlos’s. Well, there go those beans.

Tomorrow, Hayden says Nicholas’s future is in her hands, Sam tells Nicholas to go to hell and Paul says Anna is off the mark.

Little Women: LA

A few of the ladies are doing some kite flying. Terra tells Elena about how they talked to Briana at the apple picking about getting together with her family. She says Briana doesn’t want to hear the truth. Terra says Briana said she’d think about it, although she doesn’t know if that was just to shut them up.

Elena says she didn’t want to see Jasmine’s face, so she didn’t go. Terra thinks they should just sit down and talk it out. Elena wants everyone to butt out.

Tonya tells them that Kerwin is coming to town and they’re going to give their relationship another try. Elena and Terra point out that Tonya just got off another relationship and Kerwin lives with another woman. Tonya says they’re trying to work things out and she’ll keep everyone apprised.

Briana’s family has never met Matt, but Briana says she’s not ready for that anyway. Briana says Matt is a great father and he does look like he’s good with her daughter. Matt says he’d like to have their own baby. Briana thinks she’s pregnant, but she doesn’t tell him yet. She does tells him she wants to see a doctor though.

Kerwin arrives. Kerwin is Tonya’s baby daddy and they’ve been on again and off again for 15 years. Kerwin says he’s shocked that she finally wants to get back together, and hesitant because Tonya has broken up with him a few times. She says she’s seen the light and is willing to make a commitment.

Tonya’s previous boyfriend is also her business partner, so Kerwin is a little uncomfortable about Tonya still having to see him.

Christy says little person hell is a room full of bar stools. I kind of understand this. I’m not that tall myself and find bar stools intimidating. She’s out with her mom. They talk about Todd being addicted to video games. Christy is afraid it’s affecting his weight as well. Christy says she’s no lightweight, but he’s in the danger zone. Christy says he won’t listen to her. She wants him to consider gastric bypass surgery.

Elena wants a bigger booty. Terra comes with her and is checking out a brochure for some kind of sexual enhancement surgery. I have no idea what she’s talking about and Preston looks like he wants the earth to swallow him up. Elena talks about getting a boob job and Terra points out she’d look more like Jasmine that way. Elena says she’s tired of being compared to Jasmine.

The doctor comes in and goes through the procedure. He tells her he’s going to give her a better butt than a Kardashian. What is up with this big butt thing?

Tonya and Kerwin go on a double date with Elena and Preston. Elena gets all nosy about the sleeping arrangements with Kerwin. Tonya flashes back to another time Elena got in her business and it ended badly. Elena asks about the woman Kerwin lives with. Elena says they need to solve the previous relationships before starting their new one.

Jasmine has silver ombre hair going on and it looks fabulous against the copper and black dress she’s wearing in her individual interview. I can’t take my eyes off of her hair. She says now that Chris is working for her dad, they have more time together. They’re out shopping. She wants another baby, but he wants to wait since they’re not exactly flush right now. Jasmine says there’s never a “right time” for anything, but she’s not going to push it on him. He says he’s not opposed to the idea and their son does need a sibling. He’s not so into it that he feels like buying baby stuff right now though.

Matt asks Briana if she’s upset about something. She says she’s feeling “off.” Briana thought the doctor was going to tell her she was pregnant and was shocked when he didn’t. This also makes her wonder what is wrong. Matt asks if she’d thought she was pregnant. When she says yes, he is totally sympathetic. Briana wonders too, if she’s at the point where she can’t have anymore children.

Matt asks her if she’s afraid she can’t have kids. She says that she’s only 32 and only wants to have children the natural way. She feels if it doesn’t happen naturally, it isn’t meant to be. She thinks maybe she should see a specialist.

Kerwin has to go. Tonya doesn’t want him to leave; she wants him to relocate. He says they still have people in their lives and asks if Ja (her ex) knows what’s happening. She tells him yes, and it’s just a business relationship. Kerwin says he doesn’t want his heart broken again. She asks what their status is and he says they’re good friends. This confuses her and now she’s second guessing things.

Jasmine and Briana meet at this place that has neon green chairs for lunch. Jasmine feels badly about how they left things. Jasmine tells her about Chris being open to having another child and asks how Briana is doing on that front. Briana says not so good, but she’s very late and the doctor told her she’s not pregnant. In her individual interview, Jasmine wonders if it’s a blessing in disguise, considering the other issues Briana is having.

They talk about the girls butting in to Briana’s family problems. Jasmine says she never wants Briana to think she has anything other than her best interests at heart. She says it’s hard for her to understand Briana’s viewpoint because she’s so close to her own family. Briana says they have to agree to disagree.

Terra and Jasmine go rollerblading. Terra thinks she hasn’t given Jasmine a fair shake, so she wants to get to know her better. Jasmine says one of the benefits of being a little person is that when you fall, you don’t have as far to go. They’re doing better than I ever would.

They talk about plastic surgery. Terra isn’t against it for other people, but she’s comfortable with herself as is. Jasmine tells Terra about the lunch with Briana. She says Briana seems numb to any talk of family. Terra says Briana has left their lives and Jasmine doesn’t want that to happen to her. Jasmine says she’s just going to try to be supportive.

Christy is cooking dinner while Todd plays video games. That noise would make me insane, especially if he’s doing this all day. Christy says Todd has gained a lot of weight since they got married and it’s hindering their chances of having a baby. She asks if he’ll put the joystick down and talk to her.

Christy says she knows how badly Todd wants to raise a child. He says she only brings him up in relation to having a kid, and she says it’s because he’s the one who might hinder the adoption. She says it’s affecting everything in their relationship and Todd can barely walk to the car without getting out of breath. She’s afraid he’s going to drop dead on her. I really hadn’t noticed it that much, but in taking a good look at him, he has almost doubled in size.

Christy tells Todd she really thinks he should get gastric bypass surgery, but every time she mentions it, he blows her off. He says he’s afraid of the anesthesia and that surgery is extreme. Christy says the situation is extreme, and she hopes he listens and turns the listening into action. She wants him to commit to it. He says he’ll commit to thinking about it, but has to talk to the doctors first.

He reminds her of the Hawaii retreat and how they had a similar conversation with the Kahuna. Todd thinks they need a third party as a buffer. Christy is like, if that’s what you want to do, but doesn’t sound enthusiastic. She’s not exactly down with marriage counseling.

Next week, Tonya wants Kerwin to take the next step and Briana has a sonogram.

Little Women: Atlanta

I’m irritated before this even starts because these women lack substance and have weird names.

Minnie says she’s been stressed since the altercation with Juicy about Troy. She’s out planning her birthday party and Monie is helping her. Minnie says she wants to start dating. Good luck after any man sees this show. She says she doesn’t trust men because of past experiences. She thinks her father’s absence in her life has something to do with her choices.

Monie says even though the salon gig didn’t work out, Minnie has always been supportive of her and her dreams.

The twins are furniture shopping. Their boyfriends don’t have jobs (why?), and they say it’s tough having to pay for everything. They discuss the boyfriends lack of employment and what a drag it is. They decide to lay down the law.

Minnie meets the Cheeks for lunch. She wants to apologize for being a sh*t stirrer. To her credit, she says she’s sorry for promoting the twins. Emily says she wants to give Minnie another chance, even though she doesn’t fully trust her.

Bri tells them about a “Re-bootcamp” she’d like to go to, where you work on your issues. Minnie says she could use something like that and they could all use some help. I agree, but I don’t know if a weekend retreat is going to do it.

Andrea, the twin with the child, confronts her boyfriend about having to support him and their baby. She wants to know why he hasn’t been looking for a job. He makes fun of what she does and she says it’s money and at least she’s not stripping. She says if he has a problem with it, maybe he should get a job. She tells him to go back to Texas. Seriously, I’d kick this guy’s ass out.

Andrea misses her little boy and wants to go home. Amanda suggests they just call home. They Skype or Facetime or whatever. Andrea tells her mother she’s thinking about going back to Texas. Her mother says she should give it some time. She says she’ll see if she can arrange to come and visit.

The Cheeks and Minnie go to the “Re-bootcamp.” The theme for the day is find your voice and keep your man. Sounds like a Cosmopolitan article. They each talk about the main problem in their relationships. They do one of those ridiculous exercises like on Marriage Bootcamp. Then they have to look in a mirror while Pastor Calvin verbalizes their issues. And then they talk about feelings. The ultimate goal is to raise them above their circumstances.

The twins’ parents arrive with baby Andre. The twins give Andre toys that are way above his toddler age range and I’m concerned that he’s going to choke on small parts. Their dad asks how things are going with the boyfriends. The twins say there’s a lot of arguing and there’s no talking. Their mother says if the guy doesn’t respect you, you need to move on. She says she can only give so much advice long distance. Their dad says the boyfriends should be put on a bus and I second that.

One of the main issues at the retreat is not being good enough. The girls talk about past relationships. The pastor says little might be their stature, but not their worth. They burn the papers with the issues on them. Nothing has been a huge surprise here.

The twins, their boyfriends and parents go out for dinner. Their mother isn’t happy about the guys not having jobs. She also asks the twins about their jobs twerking and asks if it’s all they do. I laugh because I’m typing something that stupid sounding. You can’t twerk forever.

When Andre takes a nap and the guys are gone, the twins’ dad asks what’s up with the jobless boyfriend thing. They tell him they feel somewhat taken advantage of. Ya think? What do these guys even do all day? One of them asks how their parents felt in finding out they were little people. Their dad tells them it was a relief to just find out they were healthy. All parties agree that their parents have been over-protective.

Monie has to tell her boyfriend she got fired. Morlen says now he’ll have to pay for household expenses and her personal stuff. She says he’s supposed to be supportive. He says she needs to get her act together. He says he’s lost his appetite and leaves the table.

The twins parents are leaving. Their mom tells them to be strong and everything will get better.

Minnie is going with Monie to her first voice-over class. Minnie tells her about the bootcamp. She feels that she’s changed and communicates better. The class reminds me of Standard American Speech in acting school.

The Cheeks are meeting Juicy for lunch. Emily thinks Juicy probably heard about Minnie’s birthday party and wants to stir things up. Emily tells her about her pregnancy and how the twins wanted her to prove she was with child.

Emily mentions Minnie’s birthday and Juicy wonders what it will take for Minnie to admit that Troy was never involved with her. Emily is under the impression that Juicy is going to crash Minnie’s party.

Minnie is the birthday queen in a tiara and sash. They’re at some bar that’s about as empty as an eighth grade dance. They do some drinking and dancing and a cake with sparklers happens, but in comes Juicy. Silence falls. She sits down like she was invited. Minnie says she was the last person she thought she’d see.

Juicy says she came to apologize since she knew Minnie couldn’t take the high road. Monie isn’t liking that and she and Juicy get into it. Monie gets up. Minnie isn’t happy about the drama on her birthday and asks Monie to stop. She doesn’t though and she and Juicy go at it again. Juicy says she’s the queen of Atlanta and Monie throws a drink in her face. Monie struts around and Minnie is twice as unhappy now.

Monie sgets in Minnie’s face and tells her she doesn’t need to always be nice. Minnie says it’s her birthday and she didn’t want drama and pettiness. Monie storms off. Minnie is beyond pissed.

Next week, the twins have a driving lesson, Minnie and Monie have a confrontation, and the Cheeks and twins have a piece of each other.

February 16, 2016 — GH, Having & Not, & a Carnival


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Kiki asks Franco for advice, asking how unusual ED is.

Morgan is slinging coffee bags at the warehouse while listening to his iPod. Christina startles him. She asks why he smells like a distillery.

Anna sees Ava at the bar. For the love of all that’s holy, is this the only set they can afford? She wants to talk to Ava, but Dillon interrupts.

Alexis asks Sam who’s going to take care of her now that she’s out of the hospital and Sam tells her Jason is doing just fine in that department.

Monica says that because Jake is still young and growing, he should heal nicely, but she also thinks he’d be better served somewhere other than GH. Yeah, like that place in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

Sonny is meeting with Griffin, who says they have a problem. He asks if he should call Sonny “Godfather.” Nothing like getting to the point, but also nothing like being so far out of the loop that you’re in another stratosphere.

Tracy tells Paul to get out. She says unless he’s there on official business, he’s trespassing. She says they have nothing to discuss, but he says they have a son and he needs her help with Dillon.

Ava goes to sit down. Dillon tells Anna he’s doing a photo shoot for Crimson. He says the woman he was supposed to take photos of today bailed, and asks Anna if she would substitute.

Franco says that probably the meds are causing Morgan’s problem. Kiki says Morgan said the same thing. Franco says there are only two types of guys, guys that happens to and guys who say it never happens to them. Ha-ha! I love when Sonny makes a joke. He says that everything will work out eventually.

Christina asks Morgan if Sonny is around. She wants to know if he’s going to Alexis’s wedding. Morgan says that’s highly doubtful. Christina says she was going to get them pasta maker as a wedding gift, but she’d prefer a truce.

Monica thinks the Shriners hospital in Philadelphia would be their best bet. Elizabeth and Jason agree with her recommendation. I guess they’re promoting Shriners hospitals today, because Monica says the name like a thousand times.

Griffin says for all he knows, Sonny is running marathons at night. He says he’s not obligated to treat him for a condition he no longer has and he doesn’t want to lie for him.

Paul tells Tracy that Dillon has severed ties with him and that he needs a father. Tracy tells him that Dillon needed a father years ago, and not an attempt later to assuage his guilt. She says it’s not her job to plead his case with her son and the less Dillon has to do with him, the better.

Anna is flattered, but says she’s not a model. Dillon says that the issue is about real women. He says he’s been shooting the subjects in their own environment, and thinks the PCPD would be perfect.

Franco tells Kiki that Morgan must be feeling down, no pun intended…I think. He tells her that a temporary condition should have no bearing on a long term relationship. Kiki says what if it’s not the meds, and Morgan just isn’t interested in her anymore?

Morgan tells Christina if she understood the business, she’d know what she’s asking is next to impossible. He’s acting kind of manic and Christina asks if he’s taking his meds. The eternal question. He says he’s an important part of their father’s business now. Christina is like, if you say so, and tells him to watch the whiskey shots.

Christina leaves and Darby pops out of the woodwork.

Sam tells Alexis she doesn’t have to look backward any more, and that she and Jason have changed, but in a lot of ways they’re still the same. She says they can talk about everything and nothing and she can’t wait to see what happens next. She asks if she can bring him to the wedding.

Jason tells Carly about taking Jake to Shriners. Carly and Monica play up how great a place it is. Elizabeth says she’ll meet Jason later after she gets the boys set up with a sitter. Monica leaves to arrange transportation. Carly asks Jason how he’s doing and says whatever he needs to just ask. He asks her to keep an eye on Sam

Griffin tells Sonny that he doesn’t need a neurosurgeon, he needs a collaborator, and he doesn’t want to help Sonny promote his business. Sonny says he’ll find a new doctor then.

Paul says it’s not fair for Tracy to feed into Dillon’s problem with him. Tracy says it was all Dillon’s idea, whether Paul wanting to be his father is too little too late or not.

Dillon sets up his equipment in the interrogation room. Anna tries to get information about Paul from him while they work. Dillon tells Anna about how Paul led Tracy on. Anna tells him about how she talked to Paul after their confrontation. She says she thinks Paul feels badly about not being the father Dillon and his sister. She asks if Susan feels the same way. He says they emailed for a while when he was younger, but it stopped. He wishes he could be like Susan and walk away from the whole thing.

Franco leaves and Ava is standing there. Kiki asks how much Ava heard. Ava says it’s none of her business what Kiki and Franco talk about. Kiki asks why Ava is being so nice after what happened with Avery. Ava says it’s water under the bridge and she’s come in peace bearing clothing. She’s brought a dress for Kiki to wear at Julian’s wedding.

Darby says she got Morgan’s text and here she is. She asks him what he wants to do. Stop irritating me, for one.

Alexis says it would be better to let Jason and Julian acclimate on their own, but Julian is going to have to get used to things, so bring him anyway. Sam says maybe she’s right and it would distract Julian to see him on his big day.

Jason tells Carly about how he was with Sam when the call came about Jake. He says he knows she’s a tough chick, but wants Carly to look in on her while he’s gone.

Sonny accuses Griffin of being judgmental.

Commercial break. Yep. Shriners hospital is looking for donations. It is nice of GH to promote them, as they function like St. Jude’s, taking care of very ill children at no expense to the parents.

Dillon says Susan used to send him Christmas cards but not any more. Anna asks if she lives abroad like Dillon had. He says at one point she lived off the coast of Maine and opened a shop called Suki’s, but he hadn’t heard from her since then. Anna says maybe something happened like bad relationship. I’m not sure why she would think that. Dillon asks Anna if she’s interrogating him.

Tracy spaces out during her conversation with Paul.

Kiki asks what the catch is. Ava says she wants them to move on. Kiki says that would be the mature thing and Ava says they’ll have to wing it then. Ava says she wants to get past the Avery thing because she loves Kiki. I want to see the dress already, so I can be the judge of this. Ava asks Kiki to take care of Avery if anything happens to her.

Griffin says it’s not up to him to judge Sonny — only God can do that — but he’s not going to be used. Sonny says he thought Griffin was a good guy. Griffin says he is and he thinks deep down Sonny is too, but he’s going to refer him to another doctor. Sonny says he can give Griffin his word that he won’t have to lie and it will be over soon. Griffin says he hopes that doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. Carly peeks in the door and asks if she can come in.

Elizabeth fills Franco in on what’s happening with Jake. She says Franco has been surprisingly supportive.

Christina arrives at Sam’s place. She’s all excited about Sam and Jason, but Sam says don’t rush things. The bell rings and Christina says it’s probably Molly who’s supposed to meet her there, but it’s Jason.

Anna says it’s occupational hazard, and even normal curiosity turns into third degree for her. Dillon says he was just kidding, but it helped get fabulous pictures. He says he knows Nina will love them. Before he leaves, Anna says she hopes he finds a way to reconnect with his sister because family relationships are important. He says he hasn’t heard from Susan in 6 years. Anna asks if he knows why she chose the name Suki’s for her shop, which would totally make me wonder why she’s asking such a weird question. Dillon says he’s not sure, but he thinks it was a nickname Paul gave her as a child. He adds that Anna should consider interrogation for a living since she’s good at it.

Suddenly, Tracy asks where she and Paul were in the conversation. Paul says they were discussing Dillon. Tracy says she’s not going to help Paul and tells him to go. Paul says he’s not a bad man and still loves the child they created He leaves and Tracy wonders what’s happening to her.

Kiki asks if the cancer is back. Ava says no, and Kiki asks if it’s the business and if someone has threatened her. Ava says it’s nothing specific. Kiki says she knows they’ve had their differences, but Ava is still her mother. Ava says sometimes risky things cross her path and she’d feel better if she knew Kiki would take care of Avery. She asks if Kiki is bringing a date to the wedding and Kiki says she’s bringing Morgan.

Darby and Morgan are about to get busy, when Darby asks what about Kiki, so I have to give her half a point for that.

Griffin says he’s going to give Sonny some recommendations for treatment. Sonny and Carly leave.

Elizabeth tells Cameron and Aidan about Jake going to Philadelphia. She says they’ll be going to grandma’s until she gets back. She says when she does, she’ll need their help in finding a new house.

Alexis and Christina leave. Sam apologizes for their antics, since they were making amusing remarks about her and Jason. Jason tells Sam about taking Jake to the Shriners hospital.

Tracy is on the laptop, most likely looking up her symptoms on WebMD, when Dillon comes in. She says it’s been quiet and there’s no new news.

Anna is talking to Mac on her cell phone, and telling him to check an island off the coast of Maine for Susan. Suddenly, Paul is standing there.

Ava calls Paul and leaves a message that Morgan isn’t a threat any more because he’ll be at the wedding. I guess that’s when the arms shipment is coming in.

Kiki catches Morgan and Darby going at it.

Carly says that when she came in, Sonny looked like he was trying to get his way and wasn’t sure if he was going to get it. Sonny asks if she’ll be his date to the wedding. She says they weren’t invited, and he tells her about Christina wanting the truce and that he said he’d think about it. Carly says she’ll go if he wants her to, but adds that Alexis looked down on her relationship with Sonny for years and thinks that just because Julian turned his life around, it’s okay for her to forget he was also a mobster and responsible for Duke’s death. She says Alexis is a hypocrite. Sonny says maybe he shouldn’t take the chance that Carly will say something because he doesn’t want anything unpleasant to happen at the wedding. His face reminds me of Walder Frey planning The Red Wedding on Game of Thrones, and I go, hmm…

Franco tells Elizabeth how great she is with the boys. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know how she’s going to keep it together. Franco says she’ll be fine and he asks if he can text her once in a while about Jake. She says sure.

Jason doesn’t know how long he’ll be. Sam tells him to take whatever time it needs. She says she’s feeling pretty good and she’s gearing up for the wedding. They make out like crazy.

Tomorrow, Morgan (who is getting to be a walking cliche) tells Kiki it’s not what it looks like, Nathan tells Dante he thinks Lulu is at The Haunted Star, and Michael tells Sonny that he’s going to get Avery back.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Maggie tells David there’s something wrong with him hanging on to an insane woman. He says it’s not that simple, that he and Veronica built a lot during their good years together. Maggie tells David she can make him forget and asks him what he wants. He says he wants the woman he married. Maggie says she’s moved on. David tells Maggie she’s right and gathers his clothing up. She apologizes, but he says he’s leaving anyway.

David is mighty pissed about the newspaper article. He says the press is having a field day and wants Maggie to issue a statement saying his wife is standing by him. Maggie says his wife had sex with another man in his truck, and David wants to know how she knows that it was in the truck. She tries to cover her ass, but it’s too late. David realizes she was the one who had the picture taken.

David wants to know who the guy is, but Maggie says she doesn’t know. David says if she’s lying, he’s never going to forgive her. He storms out.

Kathryn, Veronica and Jim are still in their cells. Kathryn says she doesn’t even know what day or time it is. She says she can’t believe David isn’t helping Veronica and asks if it’s because of the newspaper article. Veronica says it’s more complicated than that and Jim laughs.

Veronica tells Kathryn to calm down and that they wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if it wasn’t for Wyatt. Jim and Veronica are starting to verbally spar, when the guard comes in to release Kathryn. Jim tells her to call a certain judge. She says that will be her first call and she’s getting them both out.

Jim asks Veronica if she thinks David is really going to help her with all she’s done to him. Veronica says she’s never met anyone as trifling as Jim and she’s glad they’re not in the same campaign anymore. She also tells him David is going to run for governor, and that he had plans to do that even before they were arrested.

Jim says he’s going to miss Veronica. She asks where he thinks she’s going and he says hell. She says if she is, he’ll be right there with her. He says her ticket is already bought and paid for, and she asks him what makes him think his isn’t too.

Kathryn leaves another message for yet another judge. Judge Carter picks up the phone and she says funny how they always call back when they want something. The judge tells her that the death of the little girl has everyone up in arms and no one wants to get involved. He also tells her that David doesn’t want Veronica out. He says he has to go, and Kathryn says when they get out of this — and they will — she’s not going to forget.

Kathryn calls a lawyer and asks for a meeting. She says there’s a bail hearing in the afternoon and she can’t find a judge to help.

Candace’s friend, Erica, brings her the $500 Benny gave her for the car. She says she didn’t want to take it, but he made her. Candace says she needs her help. She tells Erica she got marked. Erica says that doesn’t happen to them, they do the marking. Candace says she needs to get this guy back, but doesn’t have much information on him. Erica says he must have had help and that she probably already knows who helped him. Candace says it must be Jim.

Erica says it doesn’t sound like Jim’s style. He’s too high for that and to think lower. She says to start at the beginning and asks how Candace met Oscar. Candace realizes Landon was involved because he’s the one who showed her Oscar’s background online, but when she looked herself, she couldn’t find anything. Erica says the bigger the mark, the more players, so who else?

Candace remembers other people along the way. She remembers the child welfare worker pressuring her for proof of money in her bank account and believes she’s a part of it too. She says even the television in the hotel must have been rigged because Oscar showed her his stocks through it. Erica asks how this happened. Candace says Oscar got at her through her heart and promises she’ll tear his out. Erica suggests they start with the child welfare worker. Good, because I started not liking her when she hassled Hanna.

Quita is sitting in a car across the street from Candace’s place. She sees Candance come out to get something from the car and says something isn’t right. Her friend says maybe Warlock was hooking up with Candace. The nosy neighbor tells them they can’t park there and Quita curses her out. The neighbor tells them she’s calling the police, but by the time she does, they’ve pulled away. Again, Quita says something is right and this isn’t over.

David shows up at the tow yard looking for Benny. He asks Mitch some questions, saying he’s a judge. Mitch says Benny isn’t there and David asks when he’ll be back. Mitch asks if he needs a tow, and when David says yes, Mitch tells him he can call to set it up. David leaves and Mitch calls Benny.

He tells Benny that David was looking for him. Benny asks why, but Mitch doesn’t know. Benny says it’s all cool, and Mitch asks if it has anything to do with the burial supplies that were in Benny’s trunk. Benny says no and he’ll talk to Mitch later.

David calls Benny and says he needs to meet with him. Benny asks why and David says he knows why and he has some questions for Benny about his wife. He asks how long they’ve been having an affair. Benny says he doesn’t know what David is talking about and he should talk to his wife. David says he has proof, but Benny insists he doesn’t know anything. He tells David again to talk to his wife and don’t call him again.

DA Jennifer tells Veronica and Jim both their sons are going to testify against them. She says Jeffrey isn’t going to testify against David, but is more than willing to testify against Veronica. She tells Jim that Wyatt is also ready to testify against Jim and Kathryn now that he’s out of their house. Jim wants to know how that happened. Jennifer tells Veronica that David is sleeping with Maggie and struts out.

Hanna is getting ready for work and finds Wyatt asleep with some bimbo on the couch. The bimbo says he’s passed out and she can’t wake him up, and she wants to be paid before she goes. Hanna throws some water on Wyatt to wake him up. He tells the bimbo to leave, but she says again she wants to get paid and he doesn’t want her family coming there. He tells her to get out.

Wyatt acts stupid and insulting to Hanna. She tells him to get dressed. He asks what she’s being paid and she says not enough to deal with him. He tells her she’ll have to find another job. She asks where his parents are and after a bunch of nonsense, he tells her they’re in jail.

She asks why and he says she knows. She tells him the only thing she knows for sure that God will repay everyone according to their deeds, and gives him several Bible verses. She says she’s had a front row seat to the destruction that’s fallen on the Cryer household, and until Wyatt repents and asks the Lord into his heart, he’ll always be in hell. She asks again what she’s supposed to know.

He mentions the car accident. Hanna says deep in her heart, she knew he did it, but she was afraid she’d ruined his life when she told the DA she thought he did it. She thanks him for clearing her conscience and letting her know she’s not crazy. She says she’s sorry for what’s about to happen to him. Wyatt says nothing is going to happen because he has immunity. She says he has no idea how God works. She says we reap what we sow and no judge can give him immunity against what God has in store unless he repents. I love Hanna at this moment.

She goes into the kitchen, which is a total mess, and prays, asking God to help her get out of there.

There’s a knock at Candace’s door. She asks Erica to open it. It’s the case worker, Aliyah. Candace thanks her for coming and asks where her son is. Aliyah says she’s with Candace’s mother and that Hanna has custody. Candace asks why. Aliyah says when Candace didn’t come back to the hospital, the judge ruled Hanna would be better fit.

Candace asks if Aliyah knew Hanna’s house burnt down and asks where she is. Aliyah says a hotel. Candace says when she was staying in a hotel, it was deemed unfit. And it was a nice hotel. She says her mother is probably staying in a fleabag. Aliyah says she doesn’t know. Candace says yes she does and she knows Hanna doesn’t have money Aliyah says they have to do what’s best for the child. Candace says she’s going to ask Aliyah some questions, and her answers will determine how she walks out.

She tells Erica to lock the door and asks Aliyah how much Oscar paid her. When Aliyah says she doesn’t know what Candace is talking about, Candace slaps her one across the face. Then she jumps Aliyah and starts to strangle her. Aliyah admits Hanna knew the judge and that Kathryn Cryer helped Hanna get custody.

Candace lets Aliyah go and tells her not to move. Aliyah says she had nothing to do with it and Erica slaps her, saying it was a bonus. Candace asks about Oscar. She wants to know about the money and where Oscar is. Aliyah says she doesn’t know what Candace is talking about.

Candace comes up behind Aliyah, grabs her by the hair and yanks her out of her seat.

Next week, Kathryn tells Maggie to get out of the way, Jim pleads not guilty, and David and Benny fight.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kathryn is preparing to have the ladies over at her San Diego house. They take Erika’s tour bus to get there. Of course the house is massive and impressive. Is there any other kind of house on this show? LisaV says the house has “a good vibe.”

The ladies sit down to lunch and Eileen asks LisaV who told Yolanda that she’d said something about Yolanda’s kids not being sick. Erika cops to talking to Yolanda before LisaR went to her house. LisaV wonders if Erika is a sh*t stirrer.

There’s a lot of food and attention is brought to LisaR not eating as a general rule. Lisa says there are people who have made her eating an issue. We flash back to Kim telling Lisa to eat a piece of bread. Lisa says vicious stuff went on and it’s difficult to talk about in front of Kyle. Kyle says she knows her sister wasn’t handling herself well, but she doesn’t like the adjectives being used. Lisa says she didn’t know what was going on at the time and it was scary. In her individual interview, Lisa says Kim acted like a rabid dog and she’s right. Kyle says Lisa’s hands weren’t exactly clean in their altercations, but I would have had enough at that point too.

Erika and Kathryn get involved with the conversation, even though it’s none of their business. Kathryn talks about living with addiction. Kyle removes herself from the table because it’s too hard to face reality, even though this is a reality show.

Kyle tells LisaV about the text message LisaR sent Kim, while LisaR tells the rest of the women what her viewpoint was during the whole Kim mess. Eileen is of a mind that everyone deserves another chance. Eileen asks Kathryn what her story is. Kathryn’s father committed suicide when she was 13. She said he had addiction issues, but she had put him on a pedestal and she’s super sensitive to any talk about addiction. She says until you know what someone goes through you can’t just label them, and that inside, Kim doesn’t really want to live that life.

Eileen says it’s hard to explain the dynamics of what went on because it’s all so interwoven. Kyle returns and says that things are better with Kim, but it’s difficult for her to participate in talking about it. Erika explains what Kathryn told them. And since everyone is so superficial, they point out that Kathryn looks good when she cries.

David is going on a trip and acting like he cares about Yolanda and is going to miss her.

LisaV and Ken are having dinner with Erika and Tom. They have a cocktail and Erika shows them around the house. She tells Lisa she can repent of her sins in the chapel, but Lisa says they don’t have enough time for that.

The couples go out to a restaurant. LisaV asks Tom if he goes to Erika’s performances and he says he’s very supportive of Erika’s career. Lisa says he has a twinkle in his eye and maybe a twinkle in his twinkle. Erika talks about speaking with both LisaR and Yolanda. LisaV says Yolanda has put herself up to scrutiny by posting about her illness on social media, but Erika says since they’re her friends, they know the truth.

Tom tells Lisa she’s a formidable opponent because of all her wonderful qualities. He says she reminds him of an alligator, not in looks, but how she can be lying in the sun one minute and snap up a turtle the next. He means it as a compliment and she takes it as one, especially coming from a top lawyer.

Adrienne is having lunch with Kyle. Adrienne is working on a new project and Paul is in business with her. She says it’s taken three years, but they’re getting along now. She asks about Kim. Kyle says they’re talking now. She’s happy and relieved, but still nervous because she knows there’s a lot of work to do.

LisaR lost a sister to suicide and is reading her sister’s poems to her daughters. She says addiction runs in both sides of the family and wants them to be aware. She adds that the conflicts with Kim have affected her deeply. Even though she’s not on the show this season, Kim’s presence is certainly being felt. Brandy, not so much. Ha-ha!

Kyle and Adrienne talk about taking one step at a time. Kim has told Kyle that only 5% of addicts remain sober, which doesn’t sound right to me and makes Kyle feel hopeless. Sounds like Kim is lowballing the numbers to give herself some leeway. Kyle says she hates the holidays and how she and Kim do everything separately now. She wonders how everything went so wrong. She breaks down in her individual interview.

Erika is having a barbecue with a Beverly Hillbillies theme. Since the set-up is a carnival, I’m failing to see the connection. While Erika is getting ready, she says it takes a gay village for her to look this good, although I only see two guys helping.

Eileen and LisaR are taking a limo together. Apparently, Eileen had to explain what Munchhausen’s Syndrome is to Yolanda and Yolanda was not too happy when she found out what it was. Yolanda told her she could say things about LisaR, but she didn’t. Lisa is put off by Yolanda’s righteousness. Yolanda and Kyle are riding together, and she says what LisaR said struck a chord with her because she’s all about integrity. LisaR says she’s a nervous wreck having to see Yolanda again.

The dancers from Erika’s show are in attendance and LisaR says it’s a carnival of butts. Eileen says everybody is feeling a lot of stuff, but not talking about it.

Everyone sits down and LisaR says she wants to talk. She tells Yolanda whether she feels it or not, they all love and support her. She says she doesn’t understand why Yolanda didn’t call her if she had another issue. Yolanda gets defensive and says why should she with all the negativity Lisa put out in the universe. She says she laughed off the Munchhausen thing when Lisa told her because she didn’t know what it was, but when she found out, she got seriously pissed.

LisaR says she heard the remark from someone else. Yolanda says doesn’t matter, she put it out there. Lisa says she didn’t think Yolanda had it, she just repeated what someone else said. Yolanda insists on reading the definition out loud. LisaV tries to explain that LisaR was just repeating something someone else said that she didn’t understand. Yolanda jumps both Lisas asses. She gets loud, says they were labeling her, and keeps mispronouncing Munchhausen. LisaR says Yolanda didn’t listen and she’s right. LisaR brings up Yolanda’s social media posts and repeats that other peole are saying these things. Yolanda tells LisaR to tell her who said it. Lisa doesn’t want to because they’re not there to defend themselves. Erika gets all loud and says she should say who said it.

Ugh! I’ve felt badly for Yolanda up until now, but LisaR is right, she’s not listening. Neither is Erika. Can I leave this party early?

Kyle tries to explain that people are questioning things because of the inconsistency. Eileen says Yolanda wants unconditional support. LisaV tries to explain too, that one day Yolanda says she hasn’t walked in a year and the next she’s running around Beverly Hills on a scavenger hunt. Eileen says Yolanda isn’t around all the time, so people end up talking. Yolanda just wants to know that everyone has her back and will stand up for her if anyone talks smack. Yolanda hugs it out with everyone, but in her individual interview LisaR says it’s like putting a band-aid on a wound that’s still gushing blood.

Next week, the ladies get involved in a spin challenge, LisaR talks dirty with Jenny McCarthy, and Yolanda has mixed feelings.

February 15, 2016 — Half a GH & Stassi Weasles in Further


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)


I went to the Westminster Dog Show today — not the televised portion, but the breed judging. I missed the first half of GH, but here’s what I picked up from the second half.

General Hospital

Curtis is telling Valerie about his past with cocaine use. He says he went to rehab, and while there have been a few slips, he doesn’t want it in his life anymore. Valerie asks why Jordan hates him.

Jordan tells Andre that if Curtis decides to stay in town, it won’t be a problem. Really?

Jason has cooked a spaghetti dinner for him and Sam, proving once again what a great guy he is. She says she’d like a glass of wine, but Jason says he doesn’t think that’s what Lucas meant by extra fluids and cancels out what I just said.

Elizabeth asks Hayden about her family and Hayden asks why Elizabeth is there. I’m assuming she made up some bs about wanting to put her ring in the safe when Elizabeth caught her messing around there. Throughout the scene, Elizabeth looks like she just smelled something bad and it’s incredibly unattractive. Nicholas explains that because Elizabeth’s house blew up, he invited her to stay at Wyndemere. He tells her she can have her old room or pick new ones. This prompts me to google how many rooms Wyndemere has. I can’t find the information, but I do get lost in reading about the early days of Faison when he pretended to be P.K. Sinclair and get a lot of links for Windermere hotels because I don’t spell it right the first time.

Commercial break. Once Upon a Time starts again on March 6.

The orthopedic specialist wants to speak to Elizabeth about Jake’s treatment. Nicholas says that he knows there’s no love lost between Elizabeth and Hayden, but he asks Hayden to keep the peace. He says that he and Hayden don’t know each other well, but understand one another.

Andre asks how Jordan’s husband was killed and what role Curtis played in their break-up. She says she did things she regretted, but doesn’t want to talk about it. She asks why he’s interested and he says he has his own past and regrets. Jordan says she’s not one of his patients and he doesn’t have to analyze her.

Dante and Lulu are still stuck in the hotel room. Lulu says one of the reasons she didn’t tell him when she ran off with Dillon to help her brother, was because she knew he would tell her not to go. She says their marriage wasn’t in a healthy place before Valerie came along because otherwise Dante wouldn’t have cheated. Um…I don’t know about that one. Dante says he’d give anything to take it back. She says they couldn’t fix what they didn’t know was broken.

Jason asks where he and Sam should go from here. His phone rings and he asks Sam if it’s “her.” Yep. It’s Elizabeth calling about Jake.

Valerie has a test in the morning and needs to cut her date short. Curtis tells Valerie there’s two sides to every story, and that he’d like to get together again to tell her his. The background music is Adele, who I can’t seem to get away from.

Andre says he doesn’t know how to turn it off sometimes. Jordan says she’s ruined their date and they should call it a night. She leaves him pondering the Indiana Jones hat and no doubt stuck him with the check.

Jason gets to the hospital and Elizabeth tells him she thinks the prognosis is worse that the doctors first thought.

Nicholas calls Sam. He says he hopes the animosity between them doesn’t interfere with their business relationship. She wonders what relationship that is, and he tells her she’s the best P.I. there is and he needs her to investigate his wife.

While basking in the afterglow, Maxie tells Nathan not only did he go along with her Dante and Lulu scheme, but he also gave her the most romantic Valentine’s Day ever.

Apparently Dante and Lulu are repairing their relationship by referring to an article from Cosmopolitan magazine. Dante looks at the magazine and wonders what the next step is after working out their differences. I don’t know if it’s really Cosmo, but it reminds me of those compatibility quizzes.

Tomorrow, Jake needs special individual care, Tracy never wants to see Paul again, and Sam can’t wait to see what happens.

Vanderpump Rules

Lala is having a housewarming party, but she says it’s really just an excuse to get drunk. She’s invited Stassi, which has probably limited her guest list. She’s living in Stassi’s old apartment? Does SUR own it? Oh I see. They knew each other because Stassi impressed Lala by liking her outfit and they became friends. That’s about the level of the friendships on this show. Stassi wants her friendship back with Katie and is hoping this will help. Lala makes a point of telling Katie she’s not invited.

Jax is back from suspension at SUR. He’s decided to sit the party out due to his last experience with Lala, which was her screaming at him. Lisa comes in and says it’s been two amazing weeks. Jax tells her blah-blah-blah how he’s learned from his mistakes. Lisa wants Jax to start thinking about other people and asks for help with a Covenant House clothing drive. I think it’s going to take more than that. Like probably a lightening bolt.

Lala just talked about herself in the third person which is seriously creepy. She claims she wears hoop earrings better than anyone else, except perhaps JLo or Beyonce. No, grasshopper, I am the Hoop Queen. Ariana and Tom arrive at Lala’s. Tom totally ignores Stassi and she says it’s awkward. Schaena and Shay arrive next. Stassi and Schaena were not exactly on good terms either. Schaena gives Stassi a bottle of Santa Margherita pinot, which is kind of a jab at her because of something in the past, and everyone has tequila shots. Please don’t tell me they’re all going to get drunk and make up. Or out.

Shay says seeing Stassi is like seeing a bitchy ghost. Tom tells Stassi that her staying with Kristen tells him that her issues with Katie are bs. He says if she can sleep on Kristen’s couch now, she’s a phony and it’s only because she’s desperate that she’s on the apology tour. You might be right there, Tom.

Jax goes out with Katie and Tom. Brittany wants a boob job so she’s working overtime. Katie says that Lala was snotty in telling her that she wasn’t invited to Lala’s party. There’s a real loss…said no one ever.

Especially since this looks like a party in my first apartment. Schaena asks Stassi how she’s doing and she says she’s heard things, like that Stassi is sleeping on Kristen’s couch. Stassi brings up how Schaena promoted Stassi’s ex-boyfriend’s revenge porn. Schaena says Stassi heard wrong and she actually tried to prevent it from being passed around. She says that encouraging something like that it’s so low, it’s not something she could even do to Stassi. Oh, this is good, Stassi tries to blame Schaena for her losing friendships with other people. Schaena is happy just to hear Stassi say she’s wrong about anything.

Tom tells Jax and Katie about his meeting with Stassi. Katie says she had unwavering loyalty to Stassi and Stassi took advantage of it. Tom tells them he invited Stassi to the engagement party. He says he had a weak moment because he was mean to her. Schwartz is more wrong here than any other time in his life. Take heed, never, ever put another woman before your significant other. Katie is pretty annoyed and I don’t blame her. If I was Katie, I’d disinvite Stassi myself, right here, right now. Tom claims Stassi has changed. Katie says Stassi is tainting a good time in her life and she’s very upset. She says she wants Stassi to realize what a good friend she was to her, but since Stassi doesn’t know how to be a friend, she doesn’t think that’s ever going to happen.

Stassi tells Kristen that she’s the most fun person to live with because she’s laid back, relaxed and likes to drink all the time and at any hour. Yep, that’s great criteria for a roommate. So much more important than things like paying bills on time and not being a slob. They’re having Red Bull and vodka at noon, and my stomach turns a little. Stassi tells her about Lala’s party, since Kristen wasn’t invited either. She tells Kristen that she and Schaena came to a place of understanding. Kristen tells Stassi she’s working through the stepping stones to Katie and that she’s going up the totem pole. This is all a little creepy to me. It’s a little single, white female-ish.

Charles McMansion is Tom’s band. He’s making a demo tape that he’s already spent thousands on. Schwartz says doing the sangria promoting is too tough for him and he’s happy with his modeling career right now. Tom says Katie isn’t going to like it and why not do the sangria stuff part time. Tom says months from now, when he’s getting paid to party, Schwartz is going to sorry.

Schaena tells Lisa about talking to Stassi. Lisa says that she still wonders how self-serving Stassi is being. Lisa says because of her unicorns and rainbows attitude, Schaena is too forgiving. Schaena also thinks Katie should talk it out with Stassi. No wonder these people seem to get nowhere in their lives. It’s like they’re constantly stuck in the same groove with each other. Is this another L.A. thing? In NYC, when you’re done with a relationship, you never have to see the person again. Move on, people!

Jax says he’s tired of hearing about Tom’s band and doesn’t think he’s going to get anywhere with it. Because Jax has gotten so far in his illustrious career, he can make remarks like that.

Commercial break. On April 11, Bravo will begin gracing us with The Real Housewives of Dallas.

Jax is at Lisa’s with Tom and Schwartz, helping Ken pick out clothes for donation. Lisa is hoping the clothes don’t end up in their own closets. They see nakey photos of Lisa and get weird. Schwartz says he’s seizing the moment. Well, Lisa is gorgeous.

Schwartz has to talk to Lisa about the sangria thing. She says that Pandora told her he’s not ready to commit to the project. He says that he’s gotten a lot of modeling jobs and felt that should be the priority. Lisa says now that he’s marrying Katie, he has to start following through with a commitment to his future. She let’s him off the hook with some advice that he’ll probably never take.

Jewelry designer, Kyle Chen, is having a party at PUMP celebrating marriage equality. Kristen brings her latest boyfriend, even though she’s not on the guest list. I don’t get this either. Why do both this girl and James consistently show up at places they’re not wanted? Things are over with Alex and they’re just friends. No doubt he wisely ended it when he finally saw the crazy in her eyes. She says Carter is her first right swipe and I gag. Lisa tells DJ James he’s only allowed one drink. He promises to be on his best behavior.This is a sure sign of tragedy to come.

Schaena invites everyone over for an after-party. Katie tells Schwartz that he needs to get serious about future security, referring to his sangria debacle. Schwartz says he’s never not paid a bill on time and she just got her dream engagement ring, so get off his back. Ok, he has a point there. Katie says Schwartz is capable of doing so much more and he doesn’t want to be a 40-year-old out of work actor.

The gang talks about Brittany’s boob job. Jax made a deal with his nose job doctor and he’s paying for the surgery and becomes a mini-dictator about it, saying he wants them how he wants them. He doesn’t want to pay for something he doesn’t want. Ariana suggests he should date a lump of clay so he can mold it the way he wants. Schwartz says Jax has been acting strange lately. How this is different from any other time, I’m not sure.

A big cake with sparklers in it is brought out.

More drinking at Schaena’s place! Katie tells Schaena about her agitation with Schwartz. She says it’s been compounded by him inviting Stassi to their engagement party. Katie says she feels like Stassi is a sniper picking her friends off.

Tom asks Schwartz how he’s doing. Schwartz says he knows he flaked on the sangria thing, but everyone is blowing it out of proportion. Jax says Stassi went to the weakest links first, one of whom is Schwartz. Even Jax gets the impact of Schwartz inviting Stassi to the engagement party over Katie’s wishes. Jax says Stassi clearly knew who to manipulate first. Tom brings his band into this as an example and Jax tells him to stop acting like he’s the number one guy in the group, and that he’s the number one guy. This is so juvenile, I can’t believe a 36-year-old man has said this. Even if it is Jax. Tom tells him there’s people other than him in the world. He tells Tom to let Schwartz fight his own battles.

Takeaway point to consider. Liquor helps everything.

Next week, Brittany’s boob job, Toms un-tattoo-ing, Lisa calls James onto the carpet and Jax wonders if he can change.

The After Show also returns next week at 10:30. I love Julie and Brandy!