February 15, 2016 — Half a GH & Stassi Weasles in Further

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

I went to the Westminster Dog Show today — not the televised portion, but the breed judging. I missed the first half of GH, but here’s what I picked up from the second half.

General Hospital

Curtis is telling Valerie about his past with cocaine use. He says he went to rehab, and while there have been a few slips, he doesn’t want it in his life anymore. Valerie asks why Jordan hates him.

Jordan tells Andre that if Curtis decides to stay in town, it won’t be a problem. Really?

Jason has cooked a spaghetti dinner for him and Sam, proving once again what a great guy he is. She says she’d like a glass of wine, but Jason says he doesn’t think that’s what Lucas meant by extra fluids and cancels out what I just said.

Elizabeth asks Hayden about her family and Hayden asks why Elizabeth is there. I’m assuming she made up some bs about wanting to put her ring in the safe when Elizabeth caught her messing around there. Throughout the scene, Elizabeth looks like she just smelled something bad and it’s incredibly unattractive. Nicholas explains that because Elizabeth’s house blew up, he invited her to stay at Wyndemere. He tells her she can have her old room or pick new ones. This prompts me to google how many rooms Wyndemere has. I can’t find the information, but I do get lost in reading about the early days of Faison when he pretended to be P.K. Sinclair and get a lot of links for Windermere hotels because I don’t spell it right the first time.

Commercial break. Once Upon a Time starts again on March 6.

The orthopedic specialist wants to speak to Elizabeth about Jake’s treatment. Nicholas says that he knows there’s no love lost between Elizabeth and Hayden, but he asks Hayden to keep the peace. He says that he and Hayden don’t know each other well, but understand one another.

Andre asks how Jordan’s husband was killed and what role Curtis played in their break-up. She says she did things she regretted, but doesn’t want to talk about it. She asks why he’s interested and he says he has his own past and regrets. Jordan says she’s not one of his patients and he doesn’t have to analyze her.

Dante and Lulu are still stuck in the hotel room. Lulu says one of the reasons she didn’t tell him when she ran off with Dillon to help her brother, was because she knew he would tell her not to go. She says their marriage wasn’t in a healthy place before Valerie came along because otherwise Dante wouldn’t have cheated. Um…I don’t know about that one. Dante says he’d give anything to take it back. She says they couldn’t fix what they didn’t know was broken.

Jason asks where he and Sam should go from here. His phone rings and he asks Sam if it’s “her.” Yep. It’s Elizabeth calling about Jake.

Valerie has a test in the morning and needs to cut her date short. Curtis tells Valerie there’s two sides to every story, and that he’d like to get together again to tell her his. The background music is Adele, who I can’t seem to get away from.

Andre says he doesn’t know how to turn it off sometimes. Jordan says she’s ruined their date and they should call it a night. She leaves him pondering the Indiana Jones hat and no doubt stuck him with the check.

Jason gets to the hospital and Elizabeth tells him she thinks the prognosis is worse that the doctors first thought.

Nicholas calls Sam. He says he hopes the animosity between them doesn’t interfere with their business relationship. She wonders what relationship that is, and he tells her she’s the best P.I. there is and he needs her to investigate his wife.

While basking in the afterglow, Maxie tells Nathan not only did he go along with her Dante and Lulu scheme, but he also gave her the most romantic Valentine’s Day ever.

Apparently Dante and Lulu are repairing their relationship by referring to an article from Cosmopolitan magazine. Dante looks at the magazine and wonders what the next step is after working out their differences. I don’t know if it’s really Cosmo, but it reminds me of those compatibility quizzes.

Tomorrow, Jake needs special individual care, Tracy never wants to see Paul again, and Sam can’t wait to see what happens.

Vanderpump Rules

Lala is having a housewarming party, but she says it’s really just an excuse to get drunk. She’s invited Stassi, which has probably limited her guest list. She’s living in Stassi’s old apartment? Does SUR own it? Oh I see. They knew each other because Stassi impressed Lala by liking her outfit and they became friends. That’s about the level of the friendships on this show. Stassi wants her friendship back with Katie and is hoping this will help. Lala makes a point of telling Katie she’s not invited.

Jax is back from suspension at SUR. He’s decided to sit the party out due to his last experience with Lala, which was her screaming at him. Lisa comes in and says it’s been two amazing weeks. Jax tells her blah-blah-blah how he’s learned from his mistakes. Lisa wants Jax to start thinking about other people and asks for help with a Covenant House clothing drive. I think it’s going to take more than that. Like probably a lightening bolt.

Lala just talked about herself in the third person which is seriously creepy. She claims she wears hoop earrings better than anyone else, except perhaps JLo or Beyonce. No, grasshopper, I am the Hoop Queen. Ariana and Tom arrive at Lala’s. Tom totally ignores Stassi and she says it’s awkward. Schaena and Shay arrive next. Stassi and Schaena were not exactly on good terms either. Schaena gives Stassi a bottle of Santa Margherita pinot, which is kind of a jab at her because of something in the past, and everyone has tequila shots. Please don’t tell me they’re all going to get drunk and make up. Or out.

Shay says seeing Stassi is like seeing a bitchy ghost. Tom tells Stassi that her staying with Kristen tells him that her issues with Katie are bs. He says if she can sleep on Kristen’s couch now, she’s a phony and it’s only because she’s desperate that she’s on the apology tour. You might be right there, Tom.

Jax goes out with Katie and Tom. Brittany wants a boob job so she’s working overtime. Katie says that Lala was snotty in telling her that she wasn’t invited to Lala’s party. There’s a real loss…said no one ever.

Especially since this looks like a party in my first apartment. Schaena asks Stassi how she’s doing and she says she’s heard things, like that Stassi is sleeping on Kristen’s couch. Stassi brings up how Schaena promoted Stassi’s ex-boyfriend’s revenge porn. Schaena says Stassi heard wrong and she actually tried to prevent it from being passed around. She says that encouraging something like that it’s so low, it’s not something she could even do to Stassi. Oh, this is good, Stassi tries to blame Schaena for her losing friendships with other people. Schaena is happy just to hear Stassi say she’s wrong about anything.

Tom tells Jax and Katie about his meeting with Stassi. Katie says she had unwavering loyalty to Stassi and Stassi took advantage of it. Tom tells them he invited Stassi to the engagement party. He says he had a weak moment because he was mean to her. Schwartz is more wrong here than any other time in his life. Take heed, never, ever put another woman before your significant other. Katie is pretty annoyed and I don’t blame her. If I was Katie, I’d disinvite Stassi myself, right here, right now. Tom claims Stassi has changed. Katie says Stassi is tainting a good time in her life and she’s very upset. She says she wants Stassi to realize what a good friend she was to her, but since Stassi doesn’t know how to be a friend, she doesn’t think that’s ever going to happen.

Stassi tells Kristen that she’s the most fun person to live with because she’s laid back, relaxed and likes to drink all the time and at any hour. Yep, that’s great criteria for a roommate. So much more important than things like paying bills on time and not being a slob. They’re having Red Bull and vodka at noon, and my stomach turns a little. Stassi tells her about Lala’s party, since Kristen wasn’t invited either. She tells Kristen that she and Schaena came to a place of understanding. Kristen tells Stassi she’s working through the stepping stones to Katie and that she’s going up the totem pole. This is all a little creepy to me. It’s a little single, white female-ish.

Charles McMansion is Tom’s band. He’s making a demo tape that he’s already spent thousands on. Schwartz says doing the sangria promoting is too tough for him and he’s happy with his modeling career right now. Tom says Katie isn’t going to like it and why not do the sangria stuff part time. Tom says months from now, when he’s getting paid to party, Schwartz is going to sorry.

Schaena tells Lisa about talking to Stassi. Lisa says that she still wonders how self-serving Stassi is being. Lisa says because of her unicorns and rainbows attitude, Schaena is too forgiving. Schaena also thinks Katie should talk it out with Stassi. No wonder these people seem to get nowhere in their lives. It’s like they’re constantly stuck in the same groove with each other. Is this another L.A. thing? In NYC, when you’re done with a relationship, you never have to see the person again. Move on, people!

Jax says he’s tired of hearing about Tom’s band and doesn’t think he’s going to get anywhere with it. Because Jax has gotten so far in his illustrious career, he can make remarks like that.

Commercial break. On April 11, Bravo will begin gracing us with The Real Housewives of Dallas.

Jax is at Lisa’s with Tom and Schwartz, helping Ken pick out clothes for donation. Lisa is hoping the clothes don’t end up in their own closets. They see nakey photos of Lisa and get weird. Schwartz says he’s seizing the moment. Well, Lisa is gorgeous.

Schwartz has to talk to Lisa about the sangria thing. She says that Pandora told her he’s not ready to commit to the project. He says that he’s gotten a lot of modeling jobs and felt that should be the priority. Lisa says now that he’s marrying Katie, he has to start following through with a commitment to his future. She let’s him off the hook with some advice that he’ll probably never take.

Jewelry designer, Kyle Chen, is having a party at PUMP celebrating marriage equality. Kristen brings her latest boyfriend, even though she’s not on the guest list. I don’t get this either. Why do both this girl and James consistently show up at places they’re not wanted? Things are over with Alex and they’re just friends. No doubt he wisely ended it when he finally saw the crazy in her eyes. She says Carter is her first right swipe and I gag. Lisa tells DJ James he’s only allowed one drink. He promises to be on his best behavior.This is a sure sign of tragedy to come.

Schaena invites everyone over for an after-party. Katie tells Schwartz that he needs to get serious about future security, referring to his sangria debacle. Schwartz says he’s never not paid a bill on time and she just got her dream engagement ring, so get off his back. Ok, he has a point there. Katie says Schwartz is capable of doing so much more and he doesn’t want to be a 40-year-old out of work actor.

The gang talks about Brittany’s boob job. Jax made a deal with his nose job doctor and he’s paying for the surgery and becomes a mini-dictator about it, saying he wants them how he wants them. He doesn’t want to pay for something he doesn’t want. Ariana suggests he should date a lump of clay so he can mold it the way he wants. Schwartz says Jax has been acting strange lately. How this is different from any other time, I’m not sure.

A big cake with sparklers in it is brought out.

More drinking at Schaena’s place! Katie tells Schaena about her agitation with Schwartz. She says it’s been compounded by him inviting Stassi to their engagement party. Katie says she feels like Stassi is a sniper picking her friends off.

Tom asks Schwartz how he’s doing. Schwartz says he knows he flaked on the sangria thing, but everyone is blowing it out of proportion. Jax says Stassi went to the weakest links first, one of whom is Schwartz. Even Jax gets the impact of Schwartz inviting Stassi to the engagement party over Katie’s wishes. Jax says Stassi clearly knew who to manipulate first. Tom brings his band into this as an example and Jax tells him to stop acting like he’s the number one guy in the group, and that he’s the number one guy. This is so juvenile, I can’t believe a 36-year-old man has said this. Even if it is Jax. Tom tells him there’s people other than him in the world. He tells Tom to let Schwartz fight his own battles.

Takeaway point to consider. Liquor helps everything.

Next week, Brittany’s boob job, Toms un-tattoo-ing, Lisa calls James onto the carpet and Jax wonders if he can change.

The After Show also returns next week at 10:30. I love Julie and Brandy!

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