Monthly Archives: February 2016

February 17, 2016 — Big GH & Little LA & Atlanta

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Kiki walks into the warehouse and sees Morgan going at it with Darby. He says it’s not what it looks like. Puh-leeze.

Sonny is having a visit with Avery. Michael and Dante join him. Dante asks Michael about Valentine’s day. Michael says no magic was worked by St. Valentine. Dante says some magic was worked, but he doesn’t think St. Valentine had much to do with it.

Nathan and Maxie are at you-know-where, and she tells him what a great Valentine’s Day she had. She says it was nice staying at the MetroCourt and Nathan adds that it beats the crowd at their apartment. They see Lulu, who’s still wearing the same clothes she had on the day before.

Dante asks Sonny if he knows anything about the gun running.

Anna tells Mac about Susan, but Paul comes by so she starts making up something about a canceled lunch. She asks Paul if she can have the rain-check on the scotch, and if he’d like to go to lunch.

Paul suggests the skip the restaurant and go somewhere else. Raj calls and asks Paul if they’re still on for the 19th. The big boss, Dixon, also wants to meet with Paul and Ava. Raj says something about Morgan being at the wedding when they’re going to make the delivery.

Morgan says he can explain. Kiki says what’s to explain? He’s having sex with Darby in public when he couldn’t do it with her. She asks if Darby is hotter. Maybe, but she’s also pretty stupid because she pops into the conversation saying apparently so and she and Kiki almost fistfight. Kiki tells Morgan she thought she could trust him. He says that he wasn’t doing it to hurt her, but doing it for her.

Dante gives Sonny some information on Dixon and Sonny acts ignorant. He says he has nothing to do with weapons. Dante says that’s not giving him an answer and Sonny says it’s all he’s got. Sonny says he doesn’t want to discuss it in front of Avery and that he gets little enough visitation time. Dante says it wouldn’t surprise him if Ava was involved with the gun running and also wouldn’t surprise him if Sonny was planning on using that to get Avery back. He asks if he’s getting warm.

Lulu joins Nathan and Maxie. Maxie points out that Lulu must have slept in the hotel. Lulu says she did, but Dante went back to the loft. She tells Maxie they did manage to get to step number four in the magazine article and that they’re going to work on things. Maxie says the right amount of meddling helps. Lulu asks how their Valentine’s Day went. Maxie says it was wonderful and Nathan says the privacy was awesome. Lulu gets a clue that it’s crowded with her and Rocco at the apartment.

Lulu says she was so wrapped up in her own problems, it didn’t occur to her that they might want privacy. Maxie and Nathan try to back-peddle, but Lulu says she’s moving out and is going to stay at The Haunted Star in the meantime. Maxie says maybe she should go home to Dante.

Sonny says there’s no proof Ava is involved. Dante says he hopes the time doesn’t come when Sonny regrets not telling him something when he had the chance. Sonny asks about Lulu and Dante says things are better than they were. When he leave,s Sonny tells Avery he’s lying to everyone he loves except her. He says it’s called compromise and it will just be for a little while longer.

Darby says either Morgan is full of crap or using her, but either way, she’s out of there. Kiki says in what world is having sex with Darby for her. Morgan says he needed to prove to himself that he’s still a man. He says he doesn’t care if he disappointed Darby, but if he could do it with her, he could do it with Kiki.

Paul tells Raj to tell Dixon there’s no need to take action about Morgan and he’ll explain everything later. Paul suggests going to Anna’s place for lunch so they can speak freely.

Lulu says she and Dante aren’t ready to move in together again. Maxie says she thought things were better. Lulu says the article was helpful for them to realize the problems they had before Valerie. Maxie asks what’s next and Lulu says moving out. Lulu says Maxie and Nathan seem to be on their way to marriage. Maxie says when Nathan gave her a charm for her bracelet, she freaked when she saw the jewelry box, thinking it was an engagement ring. Lulu tells her instead of focusing on all that can go wrong, focus on what’s good between her and Nathan.

Nathan tells Dante he tried to talk Maxie out of meddling. Dante says he and Lulu were pissed at first, but they talked and things are better. Nathan tells Dante about Lulu wanting to move out.

Kiki tells Morgan she believes him that Darby was just practice. She says it might be practice for him, but to her it’s cheating and he never considers her feelings. He says he’ll put her first from now on and she says they’ve been there before. Kiki sys he can’t blame not being able to keep it in his pants on his bi-polar issues and she never wants to see him again.

Sonny and Michael discuss Avery. Michael says Ava shouldn’t have custody and Sonny says it won’t be much longer.

Anna and Paul are at her place. She offers to make lunch, but he says he just wants her company. He says they have a lot in common. Anna says they’ve both made mistakes with relationships. Paul says he’s way ahead there. Anna says she spoke with Dillon and tells Paul about the photo shoot. He asks what they talked about and Anna says mostly him and how he disappointed Tracy. Anna tells Paul that after Duke died, she fell into a relationship with Sloane.

Sonny tells Michael he always has a plan. He doesn’t want to jinx it by telling Michael the details, but Avery will be home soon. Michael says he’ll help him. Sonny gets all defensive. Morgan comes in and starts talking to Avery while Sonny looks at him like he’s a nut. Morgan goes upstairs to shower and Michael asks if Sonny thinks something is off.

Maxie is working at a table in the MetroCourt and chats with Kiki. They talk about Nina and Maxie says how she kicked Nina’s look up a notch to give her more confidence. Kiki asks if she can so that for her. Maxie asks why she’d want a make-over since she’s gorgeous, and Kiki says because her life is a disaster.

Lulu is at The Haunted Star and consults the couples counseling article. Dante comes by. Dante asks if she’s planning on living there, and says he doesn’t think it’s safe.

Paul says Anna is being too hard on herself. Anna says she realized she’d made a mistake and tried to be friendly, but Sloane disappeared. Paul said he and Tracy weren’t a couple, but he wanted them to be a family with Dillon and blew it. He says he has no one to blame but himself for his failures with his children. Their hands touch over the muffins. Anna’s phone rings. It’s a text from Mac.

Anna says she’ll deal with the call later and gets up to get sugar. Paul grabs her arm and asks what’s up with the text. It says “Call me. I’ve dug up something on Hornsby’s daughter.” Well, this isn’t good.

Maxie tells Kiki that Morgan fooling around with someone else has nothing to do with her. Maxie says people cheat for all kinds of reasons and maybe Morgan is scared of his love for her. Kiki says regardless, she isn’t having any. Maxie starts talking about hiding from love, but she’s really talking about herself.

Lulu tells Dante he’s lost the right to tell her where to live and that it’s perfectly safe. Dante says what about Windemere, and she says she loves her family, but doesn’t want to live with them. Dante says as a cop, he’s telling he it’s not safe there. She asks if he learned nothing from their talk, and he says fair enough. Dante tells her he’s proud of her having her own business. She says she’d never stay there if she thought here was the slightest bit of danger for Rocco. Dante leaves and she goes back to the article.

Raj is in the doorway.

Sonny needs to say good-by to Avery and Michael goes to keep the caseworker at bay while he does. Sonny is pretty cute with this kid, but she’s getting so big, I suspect she’ll be in high school next week. Michael comes back to take Avery to the caseworker. He tells Avery soon she’ll be home for good.

Morgan comes barreling down the stairs and Sonny says they have to talk. He asks Morgan what’s going on and if he’s off his meds.

Paul says that was fast. He says he heard Anna talking about his daughter at the station and that this must have been a set up to get information from him. He says he warned her to back off a long time ago and she should have listened. Anna asks what he’s going to do, kill her?

Morgan says he took his medication. Sonny says don’t lie. He got a call from the warehouse about Morgan and Darby. Morgan tries to blow it off, but Sonny says there are security cameras. Sonny fires him.

Kiki asks Maxie about her bracelet. Maxie says Nathan gave it to her and gave her another charm for Valentine’s Day. Kiki says please don’t tell her that there are still some good men out there, she wants to believe they’re all screw ups. She says Maxie is right that a make-over isn’t going to fix things. Maxie says if only it were that easy.

Dante tells Nathan he has to trust that Lulu knows what she’s doing.

Raj says he’s looking for the manager. Lulu says that’s her and he asks if he can rent the boat for a party tomorrow night. He tells her that he had a place set up for his boss’s birthday party, but it turned out his boss had a beef with the owner. Now he has everything except a location. He says he’ll even cover her people’s salaries even though he doesn’t need to use them, because if he doesn’t pull this off, he’ll get fired. Lulu says they have a deal and he introduces himself as Mr. Roy.

Paul acts offended that Anna would say such a thing. He says he might have bent the law in the past and he’s a bad husband and father, but not a killer. She says tell Sloane that, since he had him killed and substituted his body for Carrrlos’s. Well, there go those beans.

Tomorrow, Hayden says Nicholas’s future is in her hands, Sam tells Nicholas to go to hell and Paul says Anna is off the mark.

Little Women: LA

A few of the ladies are doing some kite flying. Terra tells Elena about how they talked to Briana at the apple picking about getting together with her family. She says Briana doesn’t want to hear the truth. Terra says Briana said she’d think about it, although she doesn’t know if that was just to shut them up.

Elena says she didn’t want to see Jasmine’s face, so she didn’t go. Terra thinks they should just sit down and talk it out. Elena wants everyone to butt out.

Tonya tells them that Kerwin is coming to town and they’re going to give their relationship another try. Elena and Terra point out that Tonya just got off another relationship and Kerwin lives with another woman. Tonya says they’re trying to work things out and she’ll keep everyone apprised.

Briana’s family has never met Matt, but Briana says she’s not ready for that anyway. Briana says Matt is a great father and he does look like he’s good with her daughter. Matt says he’d like to have their own baby. Briana thinks she’s pregnant, but she doesn’t tell him yet. She does tells him she wants to see a doctor though.

Kerwin arrives. Kerwin is Tonya’s baby daddy and they’ve been on again and off again for 15 years. Kerwin says he’s shocked that she finally wants to get back together, and hesitant because Tonya has broken up with him a few times. She says she’s seen the light and is willing to make a commitment.

Tonya’s previous boyfriend is also her business partner, so Kerwin is a little uncomfortable about Tonya still having to see him.

Christy says little person hell is a room full of bar stools. I kind of understand this. I’m not that tall myself and find bar stools intimidating. She’s out with her mom. They talk about Todd being addicted to video games. Christy is afraid it’s affecting his weight as well. Christy says she’s no lightweight, but he’s in the danger zone. Christy says he won’t listen to her. She wants him to consider gastric bypass surgery.

Elena wants a bigger booty. Terra comes with her and is checking out a brochure for some kind of sexual enhancement surgery. I have no idea what she’s talking about and Preston looks like he wants the earth to swallow him up. Elena talks about getting a boob job and Terra points out she’d look more like Jasmine that way. Elena says she’s tired of being compared to Jasmine.

The doctor comes in and goes through the procedure. He tells her he’s going to give her a better butt than a Kardashian. What is up with this big butt thing?

Tonya and Kerwin go on a double date with Elena and Preston. Elena gets all nosy about the sleeping arrangements with Kerwin. Tonya flashes back to another time Elena got in her business and it ended badly. Elena asks about the woman Kerwin lives with. Elena says they need to solve the previous relationships before starting their new one.

Jasmine has silver ombre hair going on and it looks fabulous against the copper and black dress she’s wearing in her individual interview. I can’t take my eyes off of her hair. She says now that Chris is working for her dad, they have more time together. They’re out shopping. She wants another baby, but he wants to wait since they’re not exactly flush right now. Jasmine says there’s never a “right time” for anything, but she’s not going to push it on him. He says he’s not opposed to the idea and their son does need a sibling. He’s not so into it that he feels like buying baby stuff right now though.

Matt asks Briana if she’s upset about something. She says she’s feeling “off.” Briana thought the doctor was going to tell her she was pregnant and was shocked when he didn’t. This also makes her wonder what is wrong. Matt asks if she’d thought she was pregnant. When she says yes, he is totally sympathetic. Briana wonders too, if she’s at the point where she can’t have anymore children.

Matt asks her if she’s afraid she can’t have kids. She says that she’s only 32 and only wants to have children the natural way. She feels if it doesn’t happen naturally, it isn’t meant to be. She thinks maybe she should see a specialist.

Kerwin has to go. Tonya doesn’t want him to leave; she wants him to relocate. He says they still have people in their lives and asks if Ja (her ex) knows what’s happening. She tells him yes, and it’s just a business relationship. Kerwin says he doesn’t want his heart broken again. She asks what their status is and he says they’re good friends. This confuses her and now she’s second guessing things.

Jasmine and Briana meet at this place that has neon green chairs for lunch. Jasmine feels badly about how they left things. Jasmine tells her about Chris being open to having another child and asks how Briana is doing on that front. Briana says not so good, but she’s very late and the doctor told her she’s not pregnant. In her individual interview, Jasmine wonders if it’s a blessing in disguise, considering the other issues Briana is having.

They talk about the girls butting in to Briana’s family problems. Jasmine says she never wants Briana to think she has anything other than her best interests at heart. She says it’s hard for her to understand Briana’s viewpoint because she’s so close to her own family. Briana says they have to agree to disagree.

Terra and Jasmine go rollerblading. Terra thinks she hasn’t given Jasmine a fair shake, so she wants to get to know her better. Jasmine says one of the benefits of being a little person is that when you fall, you don’t have as far to go. They’re doing better than I ever would.

They talk about plastic surgery. Terra isn’t against it for other people, but she’s comfortable with herself as is. Jasmine tells Terra about the lunch with Briana. She says Briana seems numb to any talk of family. Terra says Briana has left their lives and Jasmine doesn’t want that to happen to her. Jasmine says she’s just going to try to be supportive.

Christy is cooking dinner while Todd plays video games. That noise would make me insane, especially if he’s doing this all day. Christy says Todd has gained a lot of weight since they got married and it’s hindering their chances of having a baby. She asks if he’ll put the joystick down and talk to her.

Christy says she knows how badly Todd wants to raise a child. He says she only brings him up in relation to having a kid, and she says it’s because he’s the one who might hinder the adoption. She says it’s affecting everything in their relationship and Todd can barely walk to the car without getting out of breath. She’s afraid he’s going to drop dead on her. I really hadn’t noticed it that much, but in taking a good look at him, he has almost doubled in size.

Christy tells Todd she really thinks he should get gastric bypass surgery, but every time she mentions it, he blows her off. He says he’s afraid of the anesthesia and that surgery is extreme. Christy says the situation is extreme, and she hopes he listens and turns the listening into action. She wants him to commit to it. He says he’ll commit to thinking about it, but has to talk to the doctors first.

He reminds her of the Hawaii retreat and how they had a similar conversation with the Kahuna. Todd thinks they need a third party as a buffer. Christy is like, if that’s what you want to do, but doesn’t sound enthusiastic. She’s not exactly down with marriage counseling.

Next week, Tonya wants Kerwin to take the next step and Briana has a sonogram.

Little Women: Atlanta

I’m irritated before this even starts because these women lack substance and have weird names.

Minnie says she’s been stressed since the altercation with Juicy about Troy. She’s out planning her birthday party and Monie is helping her. Minnie says she wants to start dating. Good luck after any man sees this show. She says she doesn’t trust men because of past experiences. She thinks her father’s absence in her life has something to do with her choices.

Monie says even though the salon gig didn’t work out, Minnie has always been supportive of her and her dreams.

The twins are furniture shopping. Their boyfriends don’t have jobs (why?), and they say it’s tough having to pay for everything. They discuss the boyfriends lack of employment and what a drag it is. They decide to lay down the law.

Minnie meets the Cheeks for lunch. She wants to apologize for being a sh*t stirrer. To her credit, she says she’s sorry for promoting the twins. Emily says she wants to give Minnie another chance, even though she doesn’t fully trust her.

Bri tells them about a “Re-bootcamp” she’d like to go to, where you work on your issues. Minnie says she could use something like that and they could all use some help. I agree, but I don’t know if a weekend retreat is going to do it.

Andrea, the twin with the child, confronts her boyfriend about having to support him and their baby. She wants to know why he hasn’t been looking for a job. He makes fun of what she does and she says it’s money and at least she’s not stripping. She says if he has a problem with it, maybe he should get a job. She tells him to go back to Texas. Seriously, I’d kick this guy’s ass out.

Andrea misses her little boy and wants to go home. Amanda suggests they just call home. They Skype or Facetime or whatever. Andrea tells her mother she’s thinking about going back to Texas. Her mother says she should give it some time. She says she’ll see if she can arrange to come and visit.

The Cheeks and Minnie go to the “Re-bootcamp.” The theme for the day is find your voice and keep your man. Sounds like a Cosmopolitan article. They each talk about the main problem in their relationships. They do one of those ridiculous exercises like on Marriage Bootcamp. Then they have to look in a mirror while Pastor Calvin verbalizes their issues. And then they talk about feelings. The ultimate goal is to raise them above their circumstances.

The twins’ parents arrive with baby Andre. The twins give Andre toys that are way above his toddler age range and I’m concerned that he’s going to choke on small parts. Their dad asks how things are going with the boyfriends. The twins say there’s a lot of arguing and there’s no talking. Their mother says if the guy doesn’t respect you, you need to move on. She says she can only give so much advice long distance. Their dad says the boyfriends should be put on a bus and I second that.

One of the main issues at the retreat is not being good enough. The girls talk about past relationships. The pastor says little might be their stature, but not their worth. They burn the papers with the issues on them. Nothing has been a huge surprise here.

The twins, their boyfriends and parents go out for dinner. Their mother isn’t happy about the guys not having jobs. She also asks the twins about their jobs twerking and asks if it’s all they do. I laugh because I’m typing something that stupid sounding. You can’t twerk forever.

When Andre takes a nap and the guys are gone, the twins’ dad asks what’s up with the jobless boyfriend thing. They tell him they feel somewhat taken advantage of. Ya think? What do these guys even do all day? One of them asks how their parents felt in finding out they were little people. Their dad tells them it was a relief to just find out they were healthy. All parties agree that their parents have been over-protective.

Monie has to tell her boyfriend she got fired. Morlen says now he’ll have to pay for household expenses and her personal stuff. She says he’s supposed to be supportive. He says she needs to get her act together. He says he’s lost his appetite and leaves the table.

The twins parents are leaving. Their mom tells them to be strong and everything will get better.

Minnie is going with Monie to her first voice-over class. Minnie tells her about the bootcamp. She feels that she’s changed and communicates better. The class reminds me of Standard American Speech in acting school.

The Cheeks are meeting Juicy for lunch. Emily thinks Juicy probably heard about Minnie’s birthday party and wants to stir things up. Emily tells her about her pregnancy and how the twins wanted her to prove she was with child.

Emily mentions Minnie’s birthday and Juicy wonders what it will take for Minnie to admit that Troy was never involved with her. Emily is under the impression that Juicy is going to crash Minnie’s party.

Minnie is the birthday queen in a tiara and sash. They’re at some bar that’s about as empty as an eighth grade dance. They do some drinking and dancing and a cake with sparklers happens, but in comes Juicy. Silence falls. She sits down like she was invited. Minnie says she was the last person she thought she’d see.

Juicy says she came to apologize since she knew Minnie couldn’t take the high road. Monie isn’t liking that and she and Juicy get into it. Monie gets up. Minnie isn’t happy about the drama on her birthday and asks Monie to stop. She doesn’t though and she and Juicy go at it again. Juicy says she’s the queen of Atlanta and Monie throws a drink in her face. Monie struts around and Minnie is twice as unhappy now.

Monie sgets in Minnie’s face and tells her she doesn’t need to always be nice. Minnie says it’s her birthday and she didn’t want drama and pettiness. Monie storms off. Minnie is beyond pissed.

Next week, the twins have a driving lesson, Minnie and Monie have a confrontation, and the Cheeks and twins have a piece of each other.

February 16, 2016 — GH, Having & Not, & a Carnival

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kiki asks Franco for advice, asking how unusual ED is.

Morgan is slinging coffee bags at the warehouse while listening to his iPod. Christina startles him. She asks why he smells like a distillery.

Anna sees Ava at the bar. For the love of all that’s holy, is this the only set they can afford? She wants to talk to Ava, but Dillon interrupts.

Alexis asks Sam who’s going to take care of her now that she’s out of the hospital and Sam tells her Jason is doing just fine in that department.

Monica says that because Jake is still young and growing, he should heal nicely, but she also thinks he’d be better served somewhere other than GH. Yeah, like that place in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

Sonny is meeting with Griffin, who says they have a problem. He asks if he should call Sonny “Godfather.” Nothing like getting to the point, but also nothing like being so far out of the loop that you’re in another stratosphere.

Tracy tells Paul to get out. She says unless he’s there on official business, he’s trespassing. She says they have nothing to discuss, but he says they have a son and he needs her help with Dillon.

Ava goes to sit down. Dillon tells Anna he’s doing a photo shoot for Crimson. He says the woman he was supposed to take photos of today bailed, and asks Anna if she would substitute.

Franco says that probably the meds are causing Morgan’s problem. Kiki says Morgan said the same thing. Franco says there are only two types of guys, guys that happens to and guys who say it never happens to them. Ha-ha! I love when Sonny makes a joke. He says that everything will work out eventually.

Christina asks Morgan if Sonny is around. She wants to know if he’s going to Alexis’s wedding. Morgan says that’s highly doubtful. Christina says she was going to get them pasta maker as a wedding gift, but she’d prefer a truce.

Monica thinks the Shriners hospital in Philadelphia would be their best bet. Elizabeth and Jason agree with her recommendation. I guess they’re promoting Shriners hospitals today, because Monica says the name like a thousand times.

Griffin says for all he knows, Sonny is running marathons at night. He says he’s not obligated to treat him for a condition he no longer has and he doesn’t want to lie for him.

Paul tells Tracy that Dillon has severed ties with him and that he needs a father. Tracy tells him that Dillon needed a father years ago, and not an attempt later to assuage his guilt. She says it’s not her job to plead his case with her son and the less Dillon has to do with him, the better.

Anna is flattered, but says she’s not a model. Dillon says that the issue is about real women. He says he’s been shooting the subjects in their own environment, and thinks the PCPD would be perfect.

Franco tells Kiki that Morgan must be feeling down, no pun intended…I think. He tells her that a temporary condition should have no bearing on a long term relationship. Kiki says what if it’s not the meds, and Morgan just isn’t interested in her anymore?

Morgan tells Christina if she understood the business, she’d know what she’s asking is next to impossible. He’s acting kind of manic and Christina asks if he’s taking his meds. The eternal question. He says he’s an important part of their father’s business now. Christina is like, if you say so, and tells him to watch the whiskey shots.

Christina leaves and Darby pops out of the woodwork.

Sam tells Alexis she doesn’t have to look backward any more, and that she and Jason have changed, but in a lot of ways they’re still the same. She says they can talk about everything and nothing and she can’t wait to see what happens next. She asks if she can bring him to the wedding.

Jason tells Carly about taking Jake to Shriners. Carly and Monica play up how great a place it is. Elizabeth says she’ll meet Jason later after she gets the boys set up with a sitter. Monica leaves to arrange transportation. Carly asks Jason how he’s doing and says whatever he needs to just ask. He asks her to keep an eye on Sam

Griffin tells Sonny that he doesn’t need a neurosurgeon, he needs a collaborator, and he doesn’t want to help Sonny promote his business. Sonny says he’ll find a new doctor then.

Paul says it’s not fair for Tracy to feed into Dillon’s problem with him. Tracy says it was all Dillon’s idea, whether Paul wanting to be his father is too little too late or not.

Dillon sets up his equipment in the interrogation room. Anna tries to get information about Paul from him while they work. Dillon tells Anna about how Paul led Tracy on. Anna tells him about how she talked to Paul after their confrontation. She says she thinks Paul feels badly about not being the father Dillon and his sister. She asks if Susan feels the same way. He says they emailed for a while when he was younger, but it stopped. He wishes he could be like Susan and walk away from the whole thing.

Franco leaves and Ava is standing there. Kiki asks how much Ava heard. Ava says it’s none of her business what Kiki and Franco talk about. Kiki asks why Ava is being so nice after what happened with Avery. Ava says it’s water under the bridge and she’s come in peace bearing clothing. She’s brought a dress for Kiki to wear at Julian’s wedding.

Darby says she got Morgan’s text and here she is. She asks him what he wants to do. Stop irritating me, for one.

Alexis says it would be better to let Jason and Julian acclimate on their own, but Julian is going to have to get used to things, so bring him anyway. Sam says maybe she’s right and it would distract Julian to see him on his big day.

Jason tells Carly about how he was with Sam when the call came about Jake. He says he knows she’s a tough chick, but wants Carly to look in on her while he’s gone.

Sonny accuses Griffin of being judgmental.

Commercial break. Yep. Shriners hospital is looking for donations. It is nice of GH to promote them, as they function like St. Jude’s, taking care of very ill children at no expense to the parents.

Dillon says Susan used to send him Christmas cards but not any more. Anna asks if she lives abroad like Dillon had. He says at one point she lived off the coast of Maine and opened a shop called Suki’s, but he hadn’t heard from her since then. Anna says maybe something happened like bad relationship. I’m not sure why she would think that. Dillon asks Anna if she’s interrogating him.

Tracy spaces out during her conversation with Paul.

Kiki asks what the catch is. Ava says she wants them to move on. Kiki says that would be the mature thing and Ava says they’ll have to wing it then. Ava says she wants to get past the Avery thing because she loves Kiki. I want to see the dress already, so I can be the judge of this. Ava asks Kiki to take care of Avery if anything happens to her.

Griffin says it’s not up to him to judge Sonny — only God can do that — but he’s not going to be used. Sonny says he thought Griffin was a good guy. Griffin says he is and he thinks deep down Sonny is too, but he’s going to refer him to another doctor. Sonny says he can give Griffin his word that he won’t have to lie and it will be over soon. Griffin says he hopes that doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. Carly peeks in the door and asks if she can come in.

Elizabeth fills Franco in on what’s happening with Jake. She says Franco has been surprisingly supportive.

Christina arrives at Sam’s place. She’s all excited about Sam and Jason, but Sam says don’t rush things. The bell rings and Christina says it’s probably Molly who’s supposed to meet her there, but it’s Jason.

Anna says it’s occupational hazard, and even normal curiosity turns into third degree for her. Dillon says he was just kidding, but it helped get fabulous pictures. He says he knows Nina will love them. Before he leaves, Anna says she hopes he finds a way to reconnect with his sister because family relationships are important. He says he hasn’t heard from Susan in 6 years. Anna asks if he knows why she chose the name Suki’s for her shop, which would totally make me wonder why she’s asking such a weird question. Dillon says he’s not sure, but he thinks it was a nickname Paul gave her as a child. He adds that Anna should consider interrogation for a living since she’s good at it.

Suddenly, Tracy asks where she and Paul were in the conversation. Paul says they were discussing Dillon. Tracy says she’s not going to help Paul and tells him to go. Paul says he’s not a bad man and still loves the child they created He leaves and Tracy wonders what’s happening to her.

Kiki asks if the cancer is back. Ava says no, and Kiki asks if it’s the business and if someone has threatened her. Ava says it’s nothing specific. Kiki says she knows they’ve had their differences, but Ava is still her mother. Ava says sometimes risky things cross her path and she’d feel better if she knew Kiki would take care of Avery. She asks if Kiki is bringing a date to the wedding and Kiki says she’s bringing Morgan.

Darby and Morgan are about to get busy, when Darby asks what about Kiki, so I have to give her half a point for that.

Griffin says he’s going to give Sonny some recommendations for treatment. Sonny and Carly leave.

Elizabeth tells Cameron and Aidan about Jake going to Philadelphia. She says they’ll be going to grandma’s until she gets back. She says when she does, she’ll need their help in finding a new house.

Alexis and Christina leave. Sam apologizes for their antics, since they were making amusing remarks about her and Jason. Jason tells Sam about taking Jake to the Shriners hospital.

Tracy is on the laptop, most likely looking up her symptoms on WebMD, when Dillon comes in. She says it’s been quiet and there’s no new news.

Anna is talking to Mac on her cell phone, and telling him to check an island off the coast of Maine for Susan. Suddenly, Paul is standing there.

Ava calls Paul and leaves a message that Morgan isn’t a threat any more because he’ll be at the wedding. I guess that’s when the arms shipment is coming in.

Kiki catches Morgan and Darby going at it.

Carly says that when she came in, Sonny looked like he was trying to get his way and wasn’t sure if he was going to get it. Sonny asks if she’ll be his date to the wedding. She says they weren’t invited, and he tells her about Christina wanting the truce and that he said he’d think about it. Carly says she’ll go if he wants her to, but adds that Alexis looked down on her relationship with Sonny for years and thinks that just because Julian turned his life around, it’s okay for her to forget he was also a mobster and responsible for Duke’s death. She says Alexis is a hypocrite. Sonny says maybe he shouldn’t take the chance that Carly will say something because he doesn’t want anything unpleasant to happen at the wedding. His face reminds me of Walder Frey planning The Red Wedding on Game of Thrones, and I go, hmm…

Franco tells Elizabeth how great she is with the boys. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know how she’s going to keep it together. Franco says she’ll be fine and he asks if he can text her once in a while about Jake. She says sure.

Jason doesn’t know how long he’ll be. Sam tells him to take whatever time it needs. She says she’s feeling pretty good and she’s gearing up for the wedding. They make out like crazy.

Tomorrow, Morgan (who is getting to be a walking cliche) tells Kiki it’s not what it looks like, Nathan tells Dante he thinks Lulu is at The Haunted Star, and Michael tells Sonny that he’s going to get Avery back.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Maggie tells David there’s something wrong with him hanging on to an insane woman. He says it’s not that simple, that he and Veronica built a lot during their good years together. Maggie tells David she can make him forget and asks him what he wants. He says he wants the woman he married. Maggie says she’s moved on. David tells Maggie she’s right and gathers his clothing up. She apologizes, but he says he’s leaving anyway.

David is mighty pissed about the newspaper article. He says the press is having a field day and wants Maggie to issue a statement saying his wife is standing by him. Maggie says his wife had sex with another man in his truck, and David wants to know how she knows that it was in the truck. She tries to cover her ass, but it’s too late. David realizes she was the one who had the picture taken.

David wants to know who the guy is, but Maggie says she doesn’t know. David says if she’s lying, he’s never going to forgive her. He storms out.

Kathryn, Veronica and Jim are still in their cells. Kathryn says she doesn’t even know what day or time it is. She says she can’t believe David isn’t helping Veronica and asks if it’s because of the newspaper article. Veronica says it’s more complicated than that and Jim laughs.

Veronica tells Kathryn to calm down and that they wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if it wasn’t for Wyatt. Jim and Veronica are starting to verbally spar, when the guard comes in to release Kathryn. Jim tells her to call a certain judge. She says that will be her first call and she’s getting them both out.

Jim asks Veronica if she thinks David is really going to help her with all she’s done to him. Veronica says she’s never met anyone as trifling as Jim and she’s glad they’re not in the same campaign anymore. She also tells him David is going to run for governor, and that he had plans to do that even before they were arrested.

Jim says he’s going to miss Veronica. She asks where he thinks she’s going and he says hell. She says if she is, he’ll be right there with her. He says her ticket is already bought and paid for, and she asks him what makes him think his isn’t too.

Kathryn leaves another message for yet another judge. Judge Carter picks up the phone and she says funny how they always call back when they want something. The judge tells her that the death of the little girl has everyone up in arms and no one wants to get involved. He also tells her that David doesn’t want Veronica out. He says he has to go, and Kathryn says when they get out of this — and they will — she’s not going to forget.

Kathryn calls a lawyer and asks for a meeting. She says there’s a bail hearing in the afternoon and she can’t find a judge to help.

Candace’s friend, Erica, brings her the $500 Benny gave her for the car. She says she didn’t want to take it, but he made her. Candace says she needs her help. She tells Erica she got marked. Erica says that doesn’t happen to them, they do the marking. Candace says she needs to get this guy back, but doesn’t have much information on him. Erica says he must have had help and that she probably already knows who helped him. Candace says it must be Jim.

Erica says it doesn’t sound like Jim’s style. He’s too high for that and to think lower. She says to start at the beginning and asks how Candace met Oscar. Candace realizes Landon was involved because he’s the one who showed her Oscar’s background online, but when she looked herself, she couldn’t find anything. Erica says the bigger the mark, the more players, so who else?

Candace remembers other people along the way. She remembers the child welfare worker pressuring her for proof of money in her bank account and believes she’s a part of it too. She says even the television in the hotel must have been rigged because Oscar showed her his stocks through it. Erica asks how this happened. Candace says Oscar got at her through her heart and promises she’ll tear his out. Erica suggests they start with the child welfare worker. Good, because I started not liking her when she hassled Hanna.

Quita is sitting in a car across the street from Candace’s place. She sees Candance come out to get something from the car and says something isn’t right. Her friend says maybe Warlock was hooking up with Candace. The nosy neighbor tells them they can’t park there and Quita curses her out. The neighbor tells them she’s calling the police, but by the time she does, they’ve pulled away. Again, Quita says something is right and this isn’t over.

David shows up at the tow yard looking for Benny. He asks Mitch some questions, saying he’s a judge. Mitch says Benny isn’t there and David asks when he’ll be back. Mitch asks if he needs a tow, and when David says yes, Mitch tells him he can call to set it up. David leaves and Mitch calls Benny.

He tells Benny that David was looking for him. Benny asks why, but Mitch doesn’t know. Benny says it’s all cool, and Mitch asks if it has anything to do with the burial supplies that were in Benny’s trunk. Benny says no and he’ll talk to Mitch later.

David calls Benny and says he needs to meet with him. Benny asks why and David says he knows why and he has some questions for Benny about his wife. He asks how long they’ve been having an affair. Benny says he doesn’t know what David is talking about and he should talk to his wife. David says he has proof, but Benny insists he doesn’t know anything. He tells David again to talk to his wife and don’t call him again.

DA Jennifer tells Veronica and Jim both their sons are going to testify against them. She says Jeffrey isn’t going to testify against David, but is more than willing to testify against Veronica. She tells Jim that Wyatt is also ready to testify against Jim and Kathryn now that he’s out of their house. Jim wants to know how that happened. Jennifer tells Veronica that David is sleeping with Maggie and struts out.

Hanna is getting ready for work and finds Wyatt asleep with some bimbo on the couch. The bimbo says he’s passed out and she can’t wake him up, and she wants to be paid before she goes. Hanna throws some water on Wyatt to wake him up. He tells the bimbo to leave, but she says again she wants to get paid and he doesn’t want her family coming there. He tells her to get out.

Wyatt acts stupid and insulting to Hanna. She tells him to get dressed. He asks what she’s being paid and she says not enough to deal with him. He tells her she’ll have to find another job. She asks where his parents are and after a bunch of nonsense, he tells her they’re in jail.

She asks why and he says she knows. She tells him the only thing she knows for sure that God will repay everyone according to their deeds, and gives him several Bible verses. She says she’s had a front row seat to the destruction that’s fallen on the Cryer household, and until Wyatt repents and asks the Lord into his heart, he’ll always be in hell. She asks again what she’s supposed to know.

He mentions the car accident. Hanna says deep in her heart, she knew he did it, but she was afraid she’d ruined his life when she told the DA she thought he did it. She thanks him for clearing her conscience and letting her know she’s not crazy. She says she’s sorry for what’s about to happen to him. Wyatt says nothing is going to happen because he has immunity. She says he has no idea how God works. She says we reap what we sow and no judge can give him immunity against what God has in store unless he repents. I love Hanna at this moment.

She goes into the kitchen, which is a total mess, and prays, asking God to help her get out of there.

There’s a knock at Candace’s door. She asks Erica to open it. It’s the case worker, Aliyah. Candace thanks her for coming and asks where her son is. Aliyah says she’s with Candace’s mother and that Hanna has custody. Candace asks why. Aliyah says when Candace didn’t come back to the hospital, the judge ruled Hanna would be better fit.

Candace asks if Aliyah knew Hanna’s house burnt down and asks where she is. Aliyah says a hotel. Candace says when she was staying in a hotel, it was deemed unfit. And it was a nice hotel. She says her mother is probably staying in a fleabag. Aliyah says she doesn’t know. Candace says yes she does and she knows Hanna doesn’t have money Aliyah says they have to do what’s best for the child. Candace says she’s going to ask Aliyah some questions, and her answers will determine how she walks out.

She tells Erica to lock the door and asks Aliyah how much Oscar paid her. When Aliyah says she doesn’t know what Candace is talking about, Candace slaps her one across the face. Then she jumps Aliyah and starts to strangle her. Aliyah admits Hanna knew the judge and that Kathryn Cryer helped Hanna get custody.

Candace lets Aliyah go and tells her not to move. Aliyah says she had nothing to do with it and Erica slaps her, saying it was a bonus. Candace asks about Oscar. She wants to know about the money and where Oscar is. Aliyah says she doesn’t know what Candace is talking about.

Candace comes up behind Aliyah, grabs her by the hair and yanks her out of her seat.

Next week, Kathryn tells Maggie to get out of the way, Jim pleads not guilty, and David and Benny fight.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kathryn is preparing to have the ladies over at her San Diego house. They take Erika’s tour bus to get there. Of course the house is massive and impressive. Is there any other kind of house on this show? LisaV says the house has “a good vibe.”

The ladies sit down to lunch and Eileen asks LisaV who told Yolanda that she’d said something about Yolanda’s kids not being sick. Erika cops to talking to Yolanda before LisaR went to her house. LisaV wonders if Erika is a sh*t stirrer.

There’s a lot of food and attention is brought to LisaR not eating as a general rule. Lisa says there are people who have made her eating an issue. We flash back to Kim telling Lisa to eat a piece of bread. Lisa says vicious stuff went on and it’s difficult to talk about in front of Kyle. Kyle says she knows her sister wasn’t handling herself well, but she doesn’t like the adjectives being used. Lisa says she didn’t know what was going on at the time and it was scary. In her individual interview, Lisa says Kim acted like a rabid dog and she’s right. Kyle says Lisa’s hands weren’t exactly clean in their altercations, but I would have had enough at that point too.

Erika and Kathryn get involved with the conversation, even though it’s none of their business. Kathryn talks about living with addiction. Kyle removes herself from the table because it’s too hard to face reality, even though this is a reality show.

Kyle tells LisaV about the text message LisaR sent Kim, while LisaR tells the rest of the women what her viewpoint was during the whole Kim mess. Eileen is of a mind that everyone deserves another chance. Eileen asks Kathryn what her story is. Kathryn’s father committed suicide when she was 13. She said he had addiction issues, but she had put him on a pedestal and she’s super sensitive to any talk about addiction. She says until you know what someone goes through you can’t just label them, and that inside, Kim doesn’t really want to live that life.

Eileen says it’s hard to explain the dynamics of what went on because it’s all so interwoven. Kyle returns and says that things are better with Kim, but it’s difficult for her to participate in talking about it. Erika explains what Kathryn told them. And since everyone is so superficial, they point out that Kathryn looks good when she cries.

David is going on a trip and acting like he cares about Yolanda and is going to miss her.

LisaV and Ken are having dinner with Erika and Tom. They have a cocktail and Erika shows them around the house. She tells Lisa she can repent of her sins in the chapel, but Lisa says they don’t have enough time for that.

The couples go out to a restaurant. LisaV asks Tom if he goes to Erika’s performances and he says he’s very supportive of Erika’s career. Lisa says he has a twinkle in his eye and maybe a twinkle in his twinkle. Erika talks about speaking with both LisaR and Yolanda. LisaV says Yolanda has put herself up to scrutiny by posting about her illness on social media, but Erika says since they’re her friends, they know the truth.

Tom tells Lisa she’s a formidable opponent because of all her wonderful qualities. He says she reminds him of an alligator, not in looks, but how she can be lying in the sun one minute and snap up a turtle the next. He means it as a compliment and she takes it as one, especially coming from a top lawyer.

Adrienne is having lunch with Kyle. Adrienne is working on a new project and Paul is in business with her. She says it’s taken three years, but they’re getting along now. She asks about Kim. Kyle says they’re talking now. She’s happy and relieved, but still nervous because she knows there’s a lot of work to do.

LisaR lost a sister to suicide and is reading her sister’s poems to her daughters. She says addiction runs in both sides of the family and wants them to be aware. She adds that the conflicts with Kim have affected her deeply. Even though she’s not on the show this season, Kim’s presence is certainly being felt. Brandy, not so much. Ha-ha!

Kyle and Adrienne talk about taking one step at a time. Kim has told Kyle that only 5% of addicts remain sober, which doesn’t sound right to me and makes Kyle feel hopeless. Sounds like Kim is lowballing the numbers to give herself some leeway. Kyle says she hates the holidays and how she and Kim do everything separately now. She wonders how everything went so wrong. She breaks down in her individual interview.

Erika is having a barbecue with a Beverly Hillbillies theme. Since the set-up is a carnival, I’m failing to see the connection. While Erika is getting ready, she says it takes a gay village for her to look this good, although I only see two guys helping.

Eileen and LisaR are taking a limo together. Apparently, Eileen had to explain what Munchhausen’s Syndrome is to Yolanda and Yolanda was not too happy when she found out what it was. Yolanda told her she could say things about LisaR, but she didn’t. Lisa is put off by Yolanda’s righteousness. Yolanda and Kyle are riding together, and she says what LisaR said struck a chord with her because she’s all about integrity. LisaR says she’s a nervous wreck having to see Yolanda again.

The dancers from Erika’s show are in attendance and LisaR says it’s a carnival of butts. Eileen says everybody is feeling a lot of stuff, but not talking about it.

Everyone sits down and LisaR says she wants to talk. She tells Yolanda whether she feels it or not, they all love and support her. She says she doesn’t understand why Yolanda didn’t call her if she had another issue. Yolanda gets defensive and says why should she with all the negativity Lisa put out in the universe. She says she laughed off the Munchhausen thing when Lisa told her because she didn’t know what it was, but when she found out, she got seriously pissed.

LisaR says she heard the remark from someone else. Yolanda says doesn’t matter, she put it out there. Lisa says she didn’t think Yolanda had it, she just repeated what someone else said. Yolanda insists on reading the definition out loud. LisaV tries to explain that LisaR was just repeating something someone else said that she didn’t understand. Yolanda jumps both Lisas asses. She gets loud, says they were labeling her, and keeps mispronouncing Munchhausen. LisaR says Yolanda didn’t listen and she’s right. LisaR brings up Yolanda’s social media posts and repeats that other peole are saying these things. Yolanda tells LisaR to tell her who said it. Lisa doesn’t want to because they’re not there to defend themselves. Erika gets all loud and says she should say who said it.

Ugh! I’ve felt badly for Yolanda up until now, but LisaR is right, she’s not listening. Neither is Erika. Can I leave this party early?

Kyle tries to explain that people are questioning things because of the inconsistency. Eileen says Yolanda wants unconditional support. LisaV tries to explain too, that one day Yolanda says she hasn’t walked in a year and the next she’s running around Beverly Hills on a scavenger hunt. Eileen says Yolanda isn’t around all the time, so people end up talking. Yolanda just wants to know that everyone has her back and will stand up for her if anyone talks smack. Yolanda hugs it out with everyone, but in her individual interview LisaR says it’s like putting a band-aid on a wound that’s still gushing blood.

Next week, the ladies get involved in a spin challenge, LisaR talks dirty with Jenny McCarthy, and Yolanda has mixed feelings.

February 15, 2016 — Half a GH & Stassi Weasles in Further

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

I went to the Westminster Dog Show today — not the televised portion, but the breed judging. I missed the first half of GH, but here’s what I picked up from the second half.

General Hospital

Curtis is telling Valerie about his past with cocaine use. He says he went to rehab, and while there have been a few slips, he doesn’t want it in his life anymore. Valerie asks why Jordan hates him.

Jordan tells Andre that if Curtis decides to stay in town, it won’t be a problem. Really?

Jason has cooked a spaghetti dinner for him and Sam, proving once again what a great guy he is. She says she’d like a glass of wine, but Jason says he doesn’t think that’s what Lucas meant by extra fluids and cancels out what I just said.

Elizabeth asks Hayden about her family and Hayden asks why Elizabeth is there. I’m assuming she made up some bs about wanting to put her ring in the safe when Elizabeth caught her messing around there. Throughout the scene, Elizabeth looks like she just smelled something bad and it’s incredibly unattractive. Nicholas explains that because Elizabeth’s house blew up, he invited her to stay at Wyndemere. He tells her she can have her old room or pick new ones. This prompts me to google how many rooms Wyndemere has. I can’t find the information, but I do get lost in reading about the early days of Faison when he pretended to be P.K. Sinclair and get a lot of links for Windermere hotels because I don’t spell it right the first time.

Commercial break. Once Upon a Time starts again on March 6.

The orthopedic specialist wants to speak to Elizabeth about Jake’s treatment. Nicholas says that he knows there’s no love lost between Elizabeth and Hayden, but he asks Hayden to keep the peace. He says that he and Hayden don’t know each other well, but understand one another.

Andre asks how Jordan’s husband was killed and what role Curtis played in their break-up. She says she did things she regretted, but doesn’t want to talk about it. She asks why he’s interested and he says he has his own past and regrets. Jordan says she’s not one of his patients and he doesn’t have to analyze her.

Dante and Lulu are still stuck in the hotel room. Lulu says one of the reasons she didn’t tell him when she ran off with Dillon to help her brother, was because she knew he would tell her not to go. She says their marriage wasn’t in a healthy place before Valerie came along because otherwise Dante wouldn’t have cheated. Um…I don’t know about that one. Dante says he’d give anything to take it back. She says they couldn’t fix what they didn’t know was broken.

Jason asks where he and Sam should go from here. His phone rings and he asks Sam if it’s “her.” Yep. It’s Elizabeth calling about Jake.

Valerie has a test in the morning and needs to cut her date short. Curtis tells Valerie there’s two sides to every story, and that he’d like to get together again to tell her his. The background music is Adele, who I can’t seem to get away from.

Andre says he doesn’t know how to turn it off sometimes. Jordan says she’s ruined their date and they should call it a night. She leaves him pondering the Indiana Jones hat and no doubt stuck him with the check.

Jason gets to the hospital and Elizabeth tells him she thinks the prognosis is worse that the doctors first thought.

Nicholas calls Sam. He says he hopes the animosity between them doesn’t interfere with their business relationship. She wonders what relationship that is, and he tells her she’s the best P.I. there is and he needs her to investigate his wife.

While basking in the afterglow, Maxie tells Nathan not only did he go along with her Dante and Lulu scheme, but he also gave her the most romantic Valentine’s Day ever.

Apparently Dante and Lulu are repairing their relationship by referring to an article from Cosmopolitan magazine. Dante looks at the magazine and wonders what the next step is after working out their differences. I don’t know if it’s really Cosmo, but it reminds me of those compatibility quizzes.

Tomorrow, Jake needs special individual care, Tracy never wants to see Paul again, and Sam can’t wait to see what happens.

Vanderpump Rules

Lala is having a housewarming party, but she says it’s really just an excuse to get drunk. She’s invited Stassi, which has probably limited her guest list. She’s living in Stassi’s old apartment? Does SUR own it? Oh I see. They knew each other because Stassi impressed Lala by liking her outfit and they became friends. That’s about the level of the friendships on this show. Stassi wants her friendship back with Katie and is hoping this will help. Lala makes a point of telling Katie she’s not invited.

Jax is back from suspension at SUR. He’s decided to sit the party out due to his last experience with Lala, which was her screaming at him. Lisa comes in and says it’s been two amazing weeks. Jax tells her blah-blah-blah how he’s learned from his mistakes. Lisa wants Jax to start thinking about other people and asks for help with a Covenant House clothing drive. I think it’s going to take more than that. Like probably a lightening bolt.

Lala just talked about herself in the third person which is seriously creepy. She claims she wears hoop earrings better than anyone else, except perhaps JLo or Beyonce. No, grasshopper, I am the Hoop Queen. Ariana and Tom arrive at Lala’s. Tom totally ignores Stassi and she says it’s awkward. Schaena and Shay arrive next. Stassi and Schaena were not exactly on good terms either. Schaena gives Stassi a bottle of Santa Margherita pinot, which is kind of a jab at her because of something in the past, and everyone has tequila shots. Please don’t tell me they’re all going to get drunk and make up. Or out.

Shay says seeing Stassi is like seeing a bitchy ghost. Tom tells Stassi that her staying with Kristen tells him that her issues with Katie are bs. He says if she can sleep on Kristen’s couch now, she’s a phony and it’s only because she’s desperate that she’s on the apology tour. You might be right there, Tom.

Jax goes out with Katie and Tom. Brittany wants a boob job so she’s working overtime. Katie says that Lala was snotty in telling her that she wasn’t invited to Lala’s party. There’s a real loss…said no one ever.

Especially since this looks like a party in my first apartment. Schaena asks Stassi how she’s doing and she says she’s heard things, like that Stassi is sleeping on Kristen’s couch. Stassi brings up how Schaena promoted Stassi’s ex-boyfriend’s revenge porn. Schaena says Stassi heard wrong and she actually tried to prevent it from being passed around. She says that encouraging something like that it’s so low, it’s not something she could even do to Stassi. Oh, this is good, Stassi tries to blame Schaena for her losing friendships with other people. Schaena is happy just to hear Stassi say she’s wrong about anything.

Tom tells Jax and Katie about his meeting with Stassi. Katie says she had unwavering loyalty to Stassi and Stassi took advantage of it. Tom tells them he invited Stassi to the engagement party. He says he had a weak moment because he was mean to her. Schwartz is more wrong here than any other time in his life. Take heed, never, ever put another woman before your significant other. Katie is pretty annoyed and I don’t blame her. If I was Katie, I’d disinvite Stassi myself, right here, right now. Tom claims Stassi has changed. Katie says Stassi is tainting a good time in her life and she’s very upset. She says she wants Stassi to realize what a good friend she was to her, but since Stassi doesn’t know how to be a friend, she doesn’t think that’s ever going to happen.

Stassi tells Kristen that she’s the most fun person to live with because she’s laid back, relaxed and likes to drink all the time and at any hour. Yep, that’s great criteria for a roommate. So much more important than things like paying bills on time and not being a slob. They’re having Red Bull and vodka at noon, and my stomach turns a little. Stassi tells her about Lala’s party, since Kristen wasn’t invited either. She tells Kristen that she and Schaena came to a place of understanding. Kristen tells Stassi she’s working through the stepping stones to Katie and that she’s going up the totem pole. This is all a little creepy to me. It’s a little single, white female-ish.

Charles McMansion is Tom’s band. He’s making a demo tape that he’s already spent thousands on. Schwartz says doing the sangria promoting is too tough for him and he’s happy with his modeling career right now. Tom says Katie isn’t going to like it and why not do the sangria stuff part time. Tom says months from now, when he’s getting paid to party, Schwartz is going to sorry.

Schaena tells Lisa about talking to Stassi. Lisa says that she still wonders how self-serving Stassi is being. Lisa says because of her unicorns and rainbows attitude, Schaena is too forgiving. Schaena also thinks Katie should talk it out with Stassi. No wonder these people seem to get nowhere in their lives. It’s like they’re constantly stuck in the same groove with each other. Is this another L.A. thing? In NYC, when you’re done with a relationship, you never have to see the person again. Move on, people!

Jax says he’s tired of hearing about Tom’s band and doesn’t think he’s going to get anywhere with it. Because Jax has gotten so far in his illustrious career, he can make remarks like that.

Commercial break. On April 11, Bravo will begin gracing us with The Real Housewives of Dallas.

Jax is at Lisa’s with Tom and Schwartz, helping Ken pick out clothes for donation. Lisa is hoping the clothes don’t end up in their own closets. They see nakey photos of Lisa and get weird. Schwartz says he’s seizing the moment. Well, Lisa is gorgeous.

Schwartz has to talk to Lisa about the sangria thing. She says that Pandora told her he’s not ready to commit to the project. He says that he’s gotten a lot of modeling jobs and felt that should be the priority. Lisa says now that he’s marrying Katie, he has to start following through with a commitment to his future. She let’s him off the hook with some advice that he’ll probably never take.

Jewelry designer, Kyle Chen, is having a party at PUMP celebrating marriage equality. Kristen brings her latest boyfriend, even though she’s not on the guest list. I don’t get this either. Why do both this girl and James consistently show up at places they’re not wanted? Things are over with Alex and they’re just friends. No doubt he wisely ended it when he finally saw the crazy in her eyes. She says Carter is her first right swipe and I gag. Lisa tells DJ James he’s only allowed one drink. He promises to be on his best behavior.This is a sure sign of tragedy to come.

Schaena invites everyone over for an after-party. Katie tells Schwartz that he needs to get serious about future security, referring to his sangria debacle. Schwartz says he’s never not paid a bill on time and she just got her dream engagement ring, so get off his back. Ok, he has a point there. Katie says Schwartz is capable of doing so much more and he doesn’t want to be a 40-year-old out of work actor.

The gang talks about Brittany’s boob job. Jax made a deal with his nose job doctor and he’s paying for the surgery and becomes a mini-dictator about it, saying he wants them how he wants them. He doesn’t want to pay for something he doesn’t want. Ariana suggests he should date a lump of clay so he can mold it the way he wants. Schwartz says Jax has been acting strange lately. How this is different from any other time, I’m not sure.

A big cake with sparklers in it is brought out.

More drinking at Schaena’s place! Katie tells Schaena about her agitation with Schwartz. She says it’s been compounded by him inviting Stassi to their engagement party. Katie says she feels like Stassi is a sniper picking her friends off.

Tom asks Schwartz how he’s doing. Schwartz says he knows he flaked on the sangria thing, but everyone is blowing it out of proportion. Jax says Stassi went to the weakest links first, one of whom is Schwartz. Even Jax gets the impact of Schwartz inviting Stassi to the engagement party over Katie’s wishes. Jax says Stassi clearly knew who to manipulate first. Tom brings his band into this as an example and Jax tells him to stop acting like he’s the number one guy in the group, and that he’s the number one guy. This is so juvenile, I can’t believe a 36-year-old man has said this. Even if it is Jax. Tom tells him there’s people other than him in the world. He tells Tom to let Schwartz fight his own battles.

Takeaway point to consider. Liquor helps everything.

Next week, Brittany’s boob job, Toms un-tattoo-ing, Lisa calls James onto the carpet and Jax wonders if he can change.

The After Show also returns next week at 10:30. I love Julie and Brandy!

February 14, 2016 — Potomac, Atlanta & Alexandria

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of Potomac

I started this and I’m going to see the season through if it kills me.

Karen has an appointment to look at planes for flight lessons and Gizelle is along for the meeting. Karen and Gizelle talk about Ashley. Karen thinks she needs guidance and Karen is just the one to give it to her.

Ashley meets Katie at the park. She wants to spend time with Katie’s kids to get used to having her own. Ashley tells Katie how the whiskey tasting party went.

Karen picks out a plane and prays over it.

Ashley and Katie push the kids on the swings. Ashley tells Katie about a birthday party she’s having for herself. She’s going to be 27 and says she wants a baby yesterday. Katie wants to have a baby with boyfriend Andrew, but says not being married first isn’t a good look.

Ashley tells Katie about how she googled everyone and tells her that Robyn and her ex-husband only have 25 bucks in their bank account and are declaring bankruptcy. in her individual interview, Ashley says she googles everyone because today you don’t know what people are up to. Just ask Teresa Giudice about that one. I’m actually kind of surprised that she needs to google other members of a reality show she’s on.

Charrisse is entertaining a friend and talks about how difficult life is because her husband is married to his job and she seems like the mistress. She longs for the good old days when they were poor. I’m sure it sounds good, but I’ll bet she’d be crying if she lost all that money. She’s actually crying now, but she’d be crying a lot harder if she couldn’t pay for that Louis Vuitton.

Her friend asks if she wants to keep fighting for her marriage. Charrisse says that she wants to keep her family together, but she’ll see.

Gizelle and her daughters are meeting her ex-husband, Jamal. Gizelle says they’re still family despite his cheating ways and the divorce. He’s been on TV, being a well-known pastor in the Baltimore area who’s active in civil disobedience. Gizelle isn’t interested in getting back together, but they seem to have worked things out pretty well as far as the kids are concerned.

Karen shows up for her first flight lesson and is a little freaked that they’re changing planes on her. That prayer doesn’t count now. Her husband and daughter are there for moral support. Karen gets the plane off the ground, although I’m sure the real pilot does most of the driving the first time out. Karen says the next thing on her bucket list is the mile high club. I don’t suggest she join it while piloting the plane though.

Katie says that during her divorce, she was overwhelmed and Andrew helped make peace with all the parties involved. Katie’s nanny, Mae, is a lesbian and she says she loves that because she loves her energy. What? What does that mean? They’ve all recently moved into Andrew’s house. Some design changes were needed, so Katie took charge. Boy, is he going to be surprised when he gets home and finds out his old bedroom is a walk-in closet.

Robyn is giving her kids dinner. She has to get to work and they’re all, eww! and I hate this food, like typical kids. The sitter comes and she dashes to some PR event.

Karen calls Charrisse whose kids are in New Jersey with their dad. Karen offers to come over to keep her company since she hates being alone. While they’re having champagne, Gizelle and Katie decide to surprise them. Charrisse says Gizelle is welcome as long as she doesn’t act like she did at her crab boil. If I hear the words “crab boil” one more time, I’m going to scream. Especially since they don’t evoke anything close to what Charrisse had.

The girls compare shoes and talk about Ashley’s upcoming birthday party. Gizelle tells them about how one of the first things Ashley talked about to her was how big her man’s doodad was. Then they get into a conversation about doodads. Katie tells them about Ashley googling everybody. For once I agree with Karen when she wonders what anyone needs to do that for.

Katie tells them about how Ashley brought up people’s finances. Karen says maybe Ashley doesn’t know any better, that she’s a diamond in the rough that needs buffing. This leeds Charrisse to start talking about how she’s having a difficult time in her marriage. Gizelle asks how she’s feeling about it, but Charrisse is on the fence. Charrisse starts to cry. Gizelle says not to be afraid to share because they’re all in her corner. She’s pretty nice for someone who was on the wrong side of this hard-on just five minutes ago.

Ashley is having her birthday party in the same place where she used to bartend, and her husband is part owner. The party’s them is “Big Kitty Bash.” I guess everyone is dressing up as a cat?

Andrew comes home to his newly designed place, including a new room added for the nanny. Katie says if he’s going on trips where he doesn’t invite her, he’s going to have to get used to this kind of thing. My husband used to say every time he went away, he came back to a different furniture arrangement, so I can identify with this. Andrew is pretty startled. He says he’s not a fan, and maybe they could have discussed it first, but he’ll accept it.

Everyone is getting ready for Ashley’s party. Gizelle has Robyn on the phone and tells her about Ashley’s googling. She tells Robyn how Ashley gossiped about Robyn’s financial situation. Robyn wonders if she should go to the party. Gizelle says of course, since she wants Robyn to stir the pot.

Karen thinks Ashley needs to be schooled in he etiquette of googling. Charrisse is under the mistaken impression that someone might hit on her at the party. I don’t see cat outfits, but there’s a lot of animal prints, and there are some kind of nakey servers wearing only cat body paint.

Robyn says happy birthday or not, she’s going to deal with this googling business. Katie and Andrew are making out. How old are these two? OMG — it’s a cash bar! Gizelle tells Robyn to question Ashley on her googleability and I laugh, even though I’m still stuck on the fact there is a cash bar at a rich person’s birthday party. the worst wedding I ever went to had a cash bar.

Hey here’s a first. I think Katie is wearing a Betsey Johnson leopard print dress that I have. If it’s not that same dress, it’s awfully close. One time, a General Hospital character wore the same sweater I own. Unfortunately, I hadn’t worn it yet and then I was afraid that I would be seen as copying them when it was really the other way around.

Robyn approaches Ashley. Ashley says Robyn seemed standoffish, so she thought something might be going on in Robyn’s life. When she googled Robyn, stuff about Juan’s bankruptcy came up. Ashley says maybe it has something to do with that, maybe Robyn just does’t like her. Robyn says it’s neither — which Ashley would know if she’d actually asked Robyn rather than going to the internet for answers. Robyn says that because of past experiences, she proceeds with caution when it comes to new people. I’m sure this didn’t help her trust issues any. Ashley has the nerve to say Robyn should have gotten to know her before making any decisions because Ashley isn’t out to hurt her.

Gizelle is like how can she say that when she’s out there googling stuff and talking about it to other people? Ashley says again that she didn’t mean anything by it. Everything is suddenly cool, which seems to be how it works with this group, but Robyn is still miffed. I would be too. Not that Ashley checked Robyn out, but hat she said something to Katie. She had no business gossiping about Robyn’s financial situation.

Katie and Andrew won’t stop making out and Gizelle says it’s like he just came back from war. Ashley says 27 is a big year for some stupid reason and gets a Porshe as a gift. It has one of those big bows on it. Ho-hum.

Next time. Gizelle’s date feeds her oysters, Ashley’ mother has a problem and Ashley’s husband is lookin’ like a fool with his pants on the ground.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Honestly, these are some of the worst Housewives taglines ever. I cringe every time I hear them.

Peter is taking everyone on a bus tour to Kingston. Jamaica is his homeland and he wants everyone to see everything. Malorie shows up on the bus, but Kenya has decided to go to a spa with Matt instead, so it’s like an in and out item.

Cynthia tells everyone that someone told Kenya that Cynthia denied their friendship. Sheree says it was her and that’s not what she said. Cynthia says that it got heated before she could explain how she felt. Cynthia starts weeping about friendship and Nene and I don’t know what. Sheree suggests she and Kenya have a talk when things have calmed down. Kim starts yelling about how she got left off of the friend list and to stop the bus immediately. It’s pretty funny and breaks the tension.

While they’re in the bubble bath (!), Kenya tells Matt her side of the Cynthia friendship. Like I’m sure he cares.

Nene says when they get back, she’ll invite Kenya for a cocktail and try to straighten things out. Peter is taking the group to some barbecue place and Phaedra gets overly excited about eating barbecued goat, which gives me a picture of her on a spit with an apple in her mouth. She’s really gotten obnoxious in the past couple of seasons.

Peter’s relatives meet them at the restaurant. This is the first time Cynthia is meeting the ones who live in Jamaica. The food looks fantastic and it’s all farm/sea to table. Peter tells a pointless story. Kim announces the call time for the commercial as 10 am. She seems pretty organized. It’s time to say good-by to the relatives.

The girls are back at the hotel and there’s a buffet by the swimming pool. I’m gaining weight just watching this trip. The guys go to a nearby martini bar.

Nene knocks on Kenya’s door. Kenya says she ordered a chicken sandwich, but Nene doesn’t look like one. Ha-ha, Kenya! Nene asks Kenya to come down for a nightcap. Kenya says Cynthia hurt her feelings. Nene says Cynthia never bashed her and that Cynthia was crying about it. Kenya relents and joins the group.

Cynthia say she cherishes Kenya’s friendship and loves her, and she’s sorry if it didn’t come off that way. Nene asks if Kenya is going to come to the commercial shoot and she says she’ll be supportive.

Peter asks Matt what he does. He’s a personal trainer and also a veteran. The guys make fun of Matt’s age — which is 28, so he’s not a baby and he certainly doesn’t act as immature as these idiots — and then Peter wonders why he’s not super sociable. Peter continues to act like a jerk and Matt finally gets up and walks away. Peter says something about him walking a girl walk and makes fun of him. I hate Peter.

Kim isn’t with the ladies and they start talking about her husband. They all agree he has a lot of personality. Kenya brings up that there are rumors that he’s gay and he’s called Chrissie behind the scenes, and they’re also called Tootie and Fruitie. Cynthia wants no part of this and I don’t blame her. Nene says, well he does tap dance. So I guess that must mean he’s gay. Another what? I’m in agreement with Sheree (another first) when she says they shouldn’t be talking about Kim and her husband when neither one of them is there to defend themselves. Geez. I don’t know which group is more childish, the men or the women.

Chris has left Jamaica because he has to get back to work, so Kim leaves the kids with their nanny. All of the pre-production has been done, so all they have to do is shoot. Kim gets to the location first. Everyone marvels at what a beautiful day it is and they’re right. The water and the sky are incredibly blue. Cynthia is wearing a blue flowing caftan and looks amazing in the shots.

On the bus to the shoot, Phaedra asks about Matt and Kenya’s spa date. It was some kind of couples thing, so of course Phaedra has to talk nasty. She tries to put Matt on the spot. Why?

Cynthia and Malorie are doing some shots of putting on and taking off the glasses. The premise is that life is better with the glasses on. Totally unoriginal and I’d rather watch John Carpenter’s They Live. Rain clouds start to come up. They get the shot before it starts to get dark.

Kim says it’s going to pass. The bus arrives with the rest of the girls. There are some kind of little paddle boats and Kenya goes out on one with Matt. Nene passes out a bunch of accessories to the girls that are going to be in the commercial. I guess Kenya took a pass. Kim directs everyone in a scene where they pretend to be fans of Cynthia. Lightening starts to happen way out on the water.

Kenya and Matt come back. Cynthia is annoyed because Kenya isn’t acting like much of a friend for all her whining. Matt tells Kenya about Peter and the others causing him grief.

Peter says let’s have a wrap party. A rainbow happens and everyone takes it as a sign.

Porsha’s whatever, Oliver, shows up. They’d met on the Miami trip, but she hasn’t seen him since. He pretends to be interested in what she has to say. He asks what the plans are and she tells him about the wrap party. She shows him his room and they flirt.

Porsha introduces Oliver at the party, which is in some bar. They have champagne and appetizers. Kenya shows up, and she and Matt order drinks at the bar. Peter talks smack about Matt’s age. Phaedra acts like being by herself is tough. Kenya joins the ladies.

Phaedra asks why Matt is sitting alone and Kenya says the guys kind of hazed him the night before and it got old quickly. Suddenly, Matt is playing pool with the guys and all is good. It’s like Potomac deja vu.

Cynthia thanks everyone and says she wishes Chris could have been there. Everyone talks about how cool, talented and hilarious Chris is until Sheree puts the kibosh on that and tells Kim the girls were talking gay talk about Chris.

Next time, gay rumors continue, Aunt Bertha is back and the girls climb a waterfall.

The Walking Dead

When we last left, the church tower had fallen, the zombies had busted in and Alexandria was a mess.

Daryl is driving back to Alexandria with Abe and Sasha in the back seat. They’re waylayed by a motorcycle gang. The leader tells them to drop their weapons because their weapons are Negan’s weapons. They’re outnumbered and turn over the guns.

Sasha asks who they are. The leader (is he Negan?) says they have questions too and they’ll be asking them when they drive Daryl and crew back where they belong. First, he wants to know about what else they have, since there’s always more. Abe asks who Negan is. The leader gets defensive and weird, and says they’ll drive them back to where they came from, but don’t ask questions in the meantime.

The leader cocks his gun and Sasha tells him he doesn’t have to shoot them. He says he’s not going to kill them, then says he is, then everything blows up. It’s Daryl with a serious weapon and he’s just blown the whole lot of the motorcycle guys away. Daryl gets back in the truck with Abe and Sasha. It looks like those motorcycle guys are dead, but I have the feeling we haven’t seen the last of them.

Alexandria is total chaos.. The core group led by Rick has put entrails and blood on themselves so they can wander among the zombies.

Rick gathers the group and gives them instructions on splitting up and reconvening. Jessie doesn’t think they can make it with Judith, but Father Gabriel promises to keep her safe. Oh yeah, that’s just the guy I’d leave my baby with. Jessie tries to palm Sam off on Gabriel too, but Sam swears he can deal. Gabriel goes off to the church with Judith and Jessie reassures Rick that it will be okay.

Carol, Morgan, Eugene and Rosita are holed up in a brownstone. The Wolf and Denise watch the zombies from behind a wrought iron fence in a stairwell. Glenn is looking for guns and ammo at the church. Enid tells him that he’d said if you run, that’s how you lose people, even the ones who are already gone and asks him what it means. He says the people you love are always inside of you, and if you lose yourself, you lose them. They tell each other who the important people in their lives were and waste valuable time.

The Wolf tells Denise he needs her. She says she’ll just slow him down.

Enid says she wants to help Glenn get Maggie over the wall to safety. She finds the gun that Glenn has been looking for.

The Wolf says Denise was right, he wasn’t born this way, he changed. Lady Gaga’s song plays in my head. He says he wants to help her change. He says she’ll see one day that they’ve been given a gift.

It’s nighttime. Rick and company are still wandering about with the zombies. The worst thing about all of it is how I have to try and remember the minor characters names again. Sam isn’t being as cool as he thought he was going to be and starts to freak. Jessie tells him to come on. Great. He’s frozen and starting to cry and he’s going to get everyone killed. Nope, he just got himself killed. Good riddance. You were just a hindrance anyway. Carl pulls Jessie away, but it doesn’t work and she gets eaten too. Good. That will teach you to slow everyone down. She’s still hanging onto Carl and Rick hacks her arm off. Okay. That was a good one.

He and Carl get the blip out of there. That other crummy kid (Ron?) holds a gun on them but Michonne machetes him from behind. Are all the losers gone now. Carl keels over. Geez. Michonne hacks their way to safety.

Eugene ponders a very large knife. He says sooner or later, they’re fighting their way out. Rosita basically calls him a chicken and says they will, but he won’t.

The Wolf gives hindsight suggestions about fighting the zombies. He tells Denise they’re going to find a gap and go over the wall. He says it’s safer out there than where they are and to start moving and not stop. The go. The Wolf does some excellent head stabbing. Denise tells him if they can get to the infirmary, she can save his life. They change direction.

Morgan asks Carol about her child and husband. He says he had to stop her and she says she should have killed him. He says she can’t, but I dunno, I’ve seen her do it.

Denise and the Wolf book it to the infirmary. They don’t make it though, since Carol shoots the Wolf from a rooftop. Great timing, Carol. Denise goes running into the brownstone. Rick comes in next with Carl in his arms and Michonne following. I think Carl has lost an eye. Denise yells for supplies.

Rick parts the curtain and sees the place is surrounded by zombies. Since he’s out of his mind, he takes an ax and goes outside.

Commercial break. 10 Cloverfield Lane looks well worth seeing. It looks like John Goodman does some good work in it.

Rick is going crazy on the zombies. This is really going to help Carl tremendously if Rick gets himself killed. Good thing these zombies only come after you one at a time. Michonne goes out and starts machete-ing zombies. Others who are holed up in various places come out and start killing zombies too.

Father Gabriel, who is with a small band of people at the church, says God will save Alexandria because God has given them the courage to save it themselves.

Carol and company head out. Rosita tells Eugene he doesn’t have to go, and he makes a mini-speech about how no one gets to clock out today and this is the story people are going to tell.

Everyone gets to zombie killing, even Morgan.

Maggie is still stuck up in that cage, but the base is getting shaky from the zombies screwing with it. Glenn fights off the zombies while Enid goes up to get Maggie. Oops! Glenn is overpowered and both girls are stuck. Abe and Sasha come to the rescue with machine guns. Miraculously, all the bullets miss Glenn.

Glenn gets into the gasoline truck with Daryl. Daryl gets out of the truck and starts pouring the gas out. I hope he gives the live people a heads up before he sets that on fire. He sets a pond ablaze and the zombies seems drawn to it, although why is a good question, since as far as I know, this has never happened before.

Everyone is beating the crap out of the zombies, including Eugene, while other zombies walk into the flaming water.

The streets of Alexandria are full of the dead walking dead. The live survivors survey the damage, while Denise tends to their wounds. Rick says, “that was rough,” and I literally lol.

Rick is all proud of what they can do if they work together. He says they’ll rebuild the walls and expand them. He gives unconscious Carl a big speech about having a feeling of being able to make a new world. He begs Carl to come back.

Carl’s fingers close over Rick’s hand.

Next time, more zombie trouble with some Negan on the side.

February 12, 2016 — GH VD & the Couches Speak Greak

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & receps from today’s TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Dillon says the photos have captured Maxie’s soul. Nathan comes in and wonders why they’re at the bar and not at work. Doesn’t he know that all of the characters’ waking hours are spent there now? He checks out the photos and asks Maxie when she became a model. Dillon says the next issue of Crimson is about real women, and who’s more real than Maxie?

Nicholas googles Baxter. He’s an investment advisor, but that’s all I can see from the article.

Elizabeth is still with Jake. The nurse meets her out in the hallway, and tells her a lot of donations have come in for them.

Sam wakes up and Jason is there. She asks about Jake and Danny. Sam wants to get sprung, but Jason tells her she needs to stay at the hospital for a while. After all she only fell down the steps, got a concussion and smoke inhalation, and escaped from an exploding house. Alexis pops in and says she has a surprise. She’s brought Molly & Christina with a bunch of balloons.

Griffin asks Sonny why he’s hiding his progress from Carly and himself. Sonny says he needed to know he could trust Griffin, and he doesn’t want Carly to have to keep a secret. Griffin asks why it should be a secret, and Sonny tells him sometimes it’s better to be perceived as weak when you’re really strong.

Griffin says he didn’t realize business was so cutthroat. He gets the message that Sonny doesn’t want to answer any questions.

Nicholas starts to Google the name Rachel together with Baxter, and a news item about Elizabeth’s house pops up.

I had an interruption, so I missed about 20 minutes here.

Sam tells Jake he didn’t do anything wrong. He says he’s sorry and he just wants to go home.

Nicholas tells Elizabeth it’s not their fault about what happened to Jake and the best thing is to just move forward. He offers her and Jake his place. He says it can offer Jake stability. Elizabeth asks if he thinks Hayden wants roommates. It’s a freaking castle for goodness’ sake. Why is this even a factor? Only three people seem to be in residence right now and I assume there are some servants hiding somewhere.

Hayden tells Tracy not to talk about her father again. Tracy says she idolized hers. Me too– I loved Edward and miss him and Lila. Dillon comes by and asks what’s up. He says they both look tense. Tracy tells him that Hayden and Nicholas were just married. Hayden tells Dillon to tell his mother to see a doctor and leaves.

Nathan admits he hated when Maxie was making the movie with Dillon, especially the love scenes. He says looking at the pictures, it seems like she’s looking at Dillon in a special way and it makes him want to punch Dillon in the face. He wonders about all the other guys who will see the pictures. He says he can’t beat up a million guys. I don’t know how many guys will be reading the “real woman” issue of Crimson.

Molly tells Sonny that Alexis loves Julian and he should make a truce. It will make him seem gracious and magnormous (sic). He asks where she learned her strategy moves and she tells him from Shakespeare. She says he should read Henry IV 1 and 2, and that he might recognize himself. I suggest Richard III.

Alexis says she thinks Christina is using other people’s troubles to cover up her own and wonders about school, since Christina was on her way back and now she’s in Port Charles again. Christina says she’s not going back to school. She says she had an “experience” with one of her professors. Alexis asks if it’s Parker.

Dillon asks Tracy what she’s hiding. She says she’s not sick and she’s never felt so good. Dillon asks why Hayden would tell him she needs to see a doctor. He wonders if Hayden meant a shrink. Tracy says she has no daddy issues and maybe Hayden needs a shrink. Dillon says, face it, they all have daddy issues. He asks who Hayden’s father is and why she would be so upset at Tracy mentioning him.

Hayden says when she found the house empty, she thought maybe Nicholas took his mother’s advice and got an annulment. Nicholas says his mother is over-protective. He starts talking about Hayden’s family and says he doesn’t know any of them. She says she barely knows anybody in his. He says those she doesn’t know are a matter of public record. Hayden says her parents are dead.

Jason tells Jake that the doctors want him to stay for a while. He suggests bringing the boys in to visit. Jake says he’s getting tired. Jake is going to take Sam back to her room, but she tells Jason to stay with Jake.

Elizabeth is on the phone with Cameron. She tells him a lot of donations have come in for them, and he needs to stay strong for Aidan who follows his example. Griffin has overheard the conversation and asks if he can help.

Sonny is like, who’s Parker? Alexis fills him in, telling him that Parker is Christina’s professor turned friend that she’s doing independent study with. I’m letting a joke pass here. Sonny asks what about the professor is causing her not to go back to school.

Maxie says she can feel jealous sometimes too. She says anyone with eyes can see Nathan’s hot, but she also knows that he’s a good person and he’s hers, the same way that she’s his. He says there’s more to her than just a pretty face, and goes on about her good qualities. She says thanks, but never say something like that to a fashion editor again.

Tracy says she’s going to get ELQ back if it’s the last thing she does.

Hayden says she doesn’t like speaking about her parents, and Nicholas and Spencer are her family now.

Griffin tells Elizabeth he read about her predicament and he’s sorry. He introduces himself and says if there’s anything he can do, to let him know. She thanks him and says that hearing that Jake will make a full recovery is the only thing she needs. He says that they both understand how fragile life is and know what goes on behind the scenes, but she’s also a mother. He says love contributes to healing. Elizabeth says she needs to check on Jake and welcomes him to GH. I always think it’s funny when they call it GH on GH.

Christina lies her ass off and says Parker told her that her independent study would be better done at home, that there will be fewer distractions. She said back at school, everyone is partying and not studying. She goes off with Molly, and Sonny asks Alexis if she thinks Christina is telling the truth. Alexis says not for a second. It did sound pretty lame.

In the hallway, Molly is shocked that the “P” in Christina’s diary is a woman.

Jake tells Elizabeth he’s glad Sam isn’t dead. Back in Sam’s room, Jason thanks Sam for telling Jake what she did and says Jake seems calmer now. He asks what he can do to return the favor. Some normal food? Magazines? What? She says there is one thing he can help with — getting her out of there.

Tomorrow, Molly asks Christina if she’s gay, Jordan asks Curtis what the hell he’s doing, and Nicholas and Hayden get busy. Is there maybe another little prince in the works?

General Hospital — Friday, the Valentine’s Day Episode, Part 1

It’s Valentine’s Day in Port Charles! Where do you think everyone is? That’s right, The Floating Rib!

Nathan and Maxie are having a drink and making googly eyes at each other. Nathan suggests they celebrate Valentine’s Day at home.

Jordan goes up to Curtis at the bar and tells him he has to leave. He’s like or what, and she says a whole bunch of nonsense, and tells him to stop following her. He says he’s not there to see her. Here comes his date. It’s Valerie.

Lulu is working at The Haunted Star. Laura calls and wants to meet her at the boat since she’s going buggy at Windermere. Hayden shows off her new bracelet from Nicholas. Laura says it belonged to Helena, but it might not be his to give. She shows him the invitation to the reading of Helena’s will.

Christina tells Molly it’s not what she thinks. Molly tells Christina it’s okay to tell her that she’s gay.

Sam wants Jason to spring her from the hospital, but he says fat chance. She’s recovering from major trauma and he can’t. She says can’t has never been in his vocabulary.

Valerie asks Maxie about the new magazine issue and then meets with Curtis. Maxie asks Nathan who he is and Nathan says they should mind their own business. Maxie says she will after she minds Dante’s.

Andre asks Lulu if an engagement ring in a glass is a good idea. She flashes back to when Dante gave her a diamond necklace in a glass of champagne and she almost choked on it. She tells Andre to go with his gut, but know the Heimlich maneuver. Isn’t Andre moving a little fast?

Laura asks Nicholas what Helena would have wanted to leave her. Nicholas thinks it’s just another one of Helena’s games and he wants no part of it. Laura says Helena’s games choose their own players whether they want to participate or not. She leaves to meet Lulu.

Jason asks if Sam has always been this stubborn. She says she’s read her charts and doesn’t need to be there and that Danny is the best medicine for her. He asks if she has something to wear.

Christina says the “P”in her diary is for Peter, but Molly isn’t buying it. She sees Brad and says maybe he can explain things. Since he’s gay he must know everything there is to know about gay people everywhere.

Jason is sneaking Sam out when they run into Lucas. Lucas asks if she didn’t like the hospital gown and she says it wasn’t her color. He suggests they can find something more suitable, but finally gives in. He tells Jason to make sure she gets fluids and rest.

Molly says the idea of telling people she’s gay must be intimidating to Christina. Christina asks if Molly is pushing her own issues of her dysfunctional sex life on her and says maybe TJ and/or Molly is gay.

Andre gives Jordan some roses and she gives him an Indiana Jones hat. He says he can tell Jordan has something on her mind. She tells him Curtis is her former brother-in-law and they’re not on good terms. Curtis says they should relocate, but she says Curtis isn’t leaving and neither is she.

Maxie asks Nathan to wait for her. She’s going to make something of this Valentine’s Day for Dante and Lulu.

Laura tells Lulu about the letter from Scotty about the will reading. Lulu says she got something from Scotty’s office too, but had been to busy to read it.

Nicholas tells Hayden he has a copy of the will in his safe. He says the estate is passed on to the oldest male heir, which means Spencer will eventually get it. He says Helena didn’t have much to leave since she went to the well once too often. He tells Hayden not to worry, she’ll always have everything she wants, then carries her off like Tarzan.

Elizabeth looks for Sam and Lucas tells her that Sam went home. Elizabeth asks if they discharged her and Lucas tells her it’s more like she was done with the place. Elizabeth wonders how Sam was able to manage with all she’s been through. Lucas tells her she had Jason’s help, which stabs Elizabeth in the heart. Or would if she had one.

Jason tells Sam she’s going to stay on the couch while he takes care of her. I like him so much more than the old Jason.

Molly tells Christina not to bottle things up and that it doesn’t have to be this hard. TJ calls and Molly says she’s on her way. He says The Floating Rib is packed so maybe they should meet somewhere else. Of course it’s packed. No one goes home.

Jordan tells Andre she’s sorry Curtis is intruding on their date. Andre says the best thing to do is confront him. He asks what the story really is. Jordan says Curtis was in the DEA and her husband was in the military. After her husband’s death, Curtis recruited her to the DEA.

Dante lingers around Curtis and Valerie like the fool he is. Valerie says she wants to know Curtis better. Nathan asks Dante if he wants to play a game of pool while he waits for Maxie.

Laura says Helena probably left them another curse. Lulu says she thinks she’ll wash her hair instead of going to the reading. She says that whatever is in the will is meant to cause them suffering. Laura says she’s still going and Lulu tells her to be careful. I’m betting that Helena left a video will. Or a hologram.

Nicholas and Hayden get busy while I admire his tattoos and once again wonder if they’re real.

Maxie goes to The Haunted Star and tells Lulu she shouldn’t be working and needs a night of massage and pampering at the MetroCourt. She gives her a key to one of the rooms and tells her the masseuse is waiting. Lulu tries to make excuses, but Maxie won’t have it, so Lulu finally takes the key to room 501. Good thing it’s not the key to room 237. (Stephen King fans will understand that reference.)

Maxie calls Nathan and tells him the fox is in the henhouse. He asks her to speak English and she says she means Lulu is going up to the room. She gives him instructions. He says it’s not going to work, but tells Dante it was the desk sergeant on the phone and something needs to be checked out in room 501. Dante volunteers to do it so that Nathan’s date isn’t ruined.

Jordan tells Curtis that things might have gone a different way if Curtis had just left them alone, and she wants to protect TJ and Valerie.

Elizabeth is talking to the insurance company who suggests she put her husband on the phone. This is probably the only time I’ve ever been annoyed along with her and she has my sympathy. She says if they don’t want to talk to her, they can talk to her attorney.

It’s Danny’s bedtime. Jason is going to help him get ready and read him a story.

Lucas has tickets for him and Brad to go to a show. Brad suggests he talk to Christina first. Lucas tells Christina that Sam is home now and if she has plans, she can go. When he finds out she doesn’t, he invites her out with them. She declines, but asks what it was like to come out and says she’s asking for a friend. Why does anyone think that ever fools anybody?

Molly meets TJ at the bar. She says maybe they should go to her room and have sex.

Nathan tells Christina that he instinctively knew he was different from the other boys when he was growing up, that he seemed to relate to the world in a different way. He says it took a while, but after lot of soul searching, he figured it out. Brad says he came out of the womb singing and dancing, but that his parents are from the middle ages, so he never came out to them. Lucas tells Christina that friends can always be relied on.

Jason comes back downstairs after Danny falls asleep. Sam says she’s happy they’re all there right now and Jason says he is too.

Laura stops by the hospital and tells Elizabeth to take a break and go to Windermere. Elizabeth says the last time she left Jake at the hospital, Helena kidnapped him. Laura says she won’t let anything happen to him. Although I don’t know how she’s going to do that from The Haunted Star.

Nicholas is asleep and Hayden slips out of the room.

Andre says TJ and Valerie are adults. Jordan says she guesses that means she should trust them to make their own decisions. Andre says she said it, not him, and they order another round.

Curtis tells Valerie that he used to be a cop. She says he doesn’t look like the type. Whatever that means. She tells him she’s a cadet. He kind of puts cops down, but then apologizes. Valerie goes to the bathroom and runs into Jordan. Jordan tells Valerie that Curtis is trouble and if she knows what’s good for her, she’ll walk out and forget about him.

Lulu and Dante meet in room 501.

Valerie says she thought Jordan would be thrilled that she’s no longer pursuing Dante. Jordan says that Curtis’s fondness for drugs is going to wreak havoc on Valerie’s career. She tells Valerie to ask Curtis about his cocaine use.

TJ is shocked that Molly wants to have sex. He says he doesn’t want to pressure her, but she says it’s the choice she wants to make and it’s time.

Christina makes a phone call. She leaves a message saying happy Valentine’s Day and I love you.

Lulu says she must have been sent to the wrong room. She tries to leave, but the door is locked and she can’t get out.

Maxie tells Nathan nothing like being trapped in a room to force a conversation. She says that Dante and Lulu might not be together by the end of the night, but they’ll be on the way.

Laura calls Scotty and asks to be apprised of the will reading and that she intends to be there.

Nicholas wakes up, wondering where Hayden is. Where she is, is messing around with the safe. Sneaky snake Elizabeth comes up behind her and asks what the hell she’s doing.

Sam says she doesn’t want to pressure Jason. He says he feels like he‘s the one pressuring her because he‘s taken over her house. He asks if she wants him to leave. She tells him no, and that she knows he‘s just here as a friend. He says more than that. He tells her that he doesn’t remember their lives together, but he remembers what it‘s like to be close to her. When she asks what that means, he finally, finally, finally kisses her.

I do several cartwheels and blow off some fireworks. In my head. Anyone who reads my posts knows I’m not in this for the romance, but these two are one of several couples I root for.

Tomorrow, Nathan gives Maxie a special gift and Hayden gloats to Elizabeth that she snared Nicholas.

Quotes of the Week from The People’s Couch

One of the reasons I love this show is the way the people relate to one another. You can tell they genuinely enjoy hanging out together and it makes me want to hang out with them.

This week, the live TV performance of Grease was included. There was some talk among the couches about Vanessa Hudgens’s professionalism, as her father had passed away the day before the show. From the clips they showed, she was amazing, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been. I loved her in Sucker Punch and think she can probably accomplish anything she puts her mind to.

Here’s our quotes:

Why does Danny Zuko look like he’s ready to start a 401K and plan for retirement? Brandy referring to Aaron Tveit in Grease Live!

God, I wanna throw pompoms at somebody. Blake referring to Sandy in Grease Live!

Where are the two old queens in the balcony?
We’re them now.
Scott and Emerson respectively, referring to Statler and Waldorf from The Muppets.

Reenactresses, my favorite. Blake, referring to Untold Stories of the ER.

February 10, 2016 — GH & Twice the Little Women

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts and recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nicholas and Hayden return from Vegas. Spencer has left a welcome home card saying, told you so.

Nina is looking for Maxie, but she’s at the photo shoot. Olivia, Dillon and Maxie are looking over the proofs when Julian walks in.

Tracy is checking financials to see if there’s anything to add to ELQ’s portfolio. Michael says he thought the lawsuit will be further along by now.

Carly and Sonny talk about being a team. Max interrupts them to talk to Sonny. He says another arms shipment is coming in soon. Sonny says if they do this right, they’ll shut down the gun runners and Ava.

BTW, everyone, with the exception of Nicholas and Hayden, is at the MetroCourt. Was there ever any doubt of that?

Hayden, Nicholas and Laura have a celebration toast. Laura wishes them many happy years together. Hayden thanks her and gives her a hug.

Nina, who is rocking an amazing suit, gets off the phone with Maxie and tells Nathan the shoot went well. He tells her he’s moved in with Maxie.

Maxie tells Julian that Olivia and Leo nailed their pictures. Maxie says Dillon captured the bond between mother and child. Julian is checking out the pictures and offers to bring the flash-drive to Nina. Olivia wants to go with him. I would too, but for — oh, she’s of the same mind as I am. She wants to make sure he doesn’t destroy the photos.

Alexis joins Tracy and Michael. She says Sam is doing well and Jason is with her. She says Nicholas has filed a motion to dismiss and she anticipates the judge wanting them to settle. Michael says he’s 100% sure he wants to pursue it.

Max asks Sonny if he’s ready for action. Sonny says he’s getting stronger every day and reminds Max not to tell anybody about his progress. Carly interrupts and tells Sonny he has an appointment with his new doctor.

Dillon tells Maxie that even if Julian interferes, he always keeps a back-up. She says that Nina has a solid concept, unlike the fluke of the green issue. She says they’re covering real women in all shapes and sizes, but something’s missing. Dillon says they’re great but they’re all mature.

Nina asks what happened to Nathan’s place at Kelly’s and he says he has no heat and crashed with Maxie and they decided to make it permanent. He says they started out as roommates and it’s come full circle. He says it’s a little crowded, but it seems right. Nina says she feels the same way about Franco and they even talked about having a child.

Alexis says it could be three years before they go to trial. Whoever said the wheels of justice turn slowly wasn’t just whistlin’ Dixie. Michael thinks maybe he should go to Diane because she’s not related to Julian. Alexis says he should do what he wants, but she didn’t approve of Nicholas’s actions and her loyalty is with her grandson. Tracy says that’s good enough for her. Alexis says her goal is to return ELQ to its proper owner.

When she leaves, Michael tells Tracy he still has doubts about Alexis. Tracy says she has more irons in the fire and not to worry.

Hayden gets a text from Tracy. She tells Nicholas she’s needed at the office. He tells her she’s married to the company owner, so she can blow it off. She says if she doesn’t go, she won’t be able to show off her ring. When she leaves, Nicholas thanks Laura for being nice to Hayden, but also says he thinks Laura is holding something back.

Epiphany says she has a good feeling about Sonny’s new doctor, and says they’ve certainly gone through a few of them. Griffin comes in and says he’s ready for his new patient, Michael. Epiphany says no one calls him Michael, and introduces him to Sonny, who she says is usually preceded by his reputation. Griffin is clueless about Sonny’s mob business, so Epiphany says he’s just a difficult patient. Carly asks what brought Griffin there. He says GH has a great reputation and he went to med school with Lucas who told him about the job. Carly says Lucas is her brother. Sonny asks what Griffin is going to do for him.

Laura says Hayden is a virtual stranger and Nicholas doesn’t know what secrets she’s keeping. He says Spencer adores her and Laura says he adored Brit too. So did I. Nicholas says for a wedding gift, Laura can be accepting.

Nina tells Nathan how Franco feels about having their own child and passing on his DNA. She says they discussed other options, but decided to table it for now.

Dillon suggests Maxie pose for the magazine. She objects, but he says her experience put the magazine on the stands and she has exactly what the issue needs to make it pop.

Olivia looks over the pictures with Julian. No surprise he has a criticism about nearly every photo. Olivia asks when he became her boss and asks what’s going on. She says he’s married to someone else, yet he doesn’t want anyone looking at her. At that moment, Alexis enters.

Tracy says she won’t rest until ELQ is back in the family. Michael asks what the plan is, but Tracy says only she needs to know. She sees Hayden come in and tells Michael he can go because they’re just irritating each other. He tells her to be careful and not ruin things.

After he’s gone, Hayden sits down. Tracy asks where Hayden has been and Hayden says Vegas. Tracy says Laura was right and asks if Hayden is married. Yep, she is.

Nathan says if Nina and Franco decide to have kids, the kids will be lucky. He says he knows she would be a wonderful mother, and with her influence, Franco will be a great father. Nina wonders if growing up with Madilyn has scarred her for life. Nathan says he turned out fine, although until Maxie, he didn’t think he’d ever trust anyone again.

Dillon tells Maxie to trust him and do a test shoot. He suggests they give Nina a bonus when they bring the photos back. He takes pictures of Maxie, one of which is her pointing to The Floating Rib sign. Does that place really need more advertising? He takes a lot of photos with Maxie all over the pool table. Why am I not surprised that they eat, live and work here?

Alexis seconds it that Julian is acting like a jealous boyfriend. He says nothing is going on, but he doesn’t want Leo’s mother exposing herself. Alexis says his attitude is not only sexist, but he’s making it sound like he wants to control the women in his life, of which Olivia isn’t one. He tells Alexis she’s the only woman for him.

Tracy admires the ring. She asks when Nicholas is going to fork over ELQ to Hayden. Hayden tells Tracy she had to sign a prenup.

Griffin goes over Sonny’s medical history. He asks about Sonny’s pain level and Sonny says it depends on the PT. Sonny gets cagey when Griffin asks about his progress. He says he has some sensation in his legs, but nothing major. Griffin says that’s still good news.

Carly asks Griffin when Sonny will be able to walk again. He says it’s impossible to predict recovery, but if Sonny continues with his PT, in time he’ll regain the use of his legs. He leaves to double-check something. Griffin sees Epiphany in the hallway and asks about Sonny’s progress.

Sonny wonders what Griffin went to double-check. Sonny tells Carly that just because he seems like a good guy doesn’t mean he’s a good doctor. Griffin returns.

Nina comes to the office where Olivia is still looking at the proofs. She says Julian doesn’t look too happy, but Olivia says that’s because he’s a jerk. Nina says Olivia made her job difficult because she’s so gorgeous.

Alexis says she overreacted because Julian did. They talk about the impending wedding.

Tracy asks if Hayden looked over the prenup and Hayden says she didn’t have time. Tracy says Hayden has thwarted their plan. She says working with her has been a collasal waste of time. Hayden asks Tracy to give her a little more time. Tracy says the only thing she’s accomplished so far is a quickie wedding that she’ll get nothing from when Nicholas divorces her. Hayden says she has something on Nicholas.

Laura says worrying is part of being a parent. She asks how Nicholas would feel if Spencer were in his shoes. She says he wants to make things up to Spencer and give him a mother, and that Hayden is also the only one supporting his ELQ takeover. He tells her about the prenup, but Laura doesn’t think it’s enough to protect him.

Laura says love develops over time, shared experiences and getting to know each other. She tells Nicholas not to assume anything. She says she hopes she’s wrong about Hayden and they have a long, happy life and Nicholas is loved the way he deserves to be. She leaves and Nicholas gets on the laptop and Googles Baxter.

Hayden says the same way Tracy has leverage over her, she has leverage over Nicholas. Tracy says as long as she has the nerve to use it and Hayden says it won’t be a problem. Tracy calls her “Rachel” and says she can make Hayden’s life miserable. She starts to says something about Nicholas and spaces out mid-sentence.

Dillon and Maxie look over the shots. Dillon tells Maxie how gorgeous and fabulous she is. He says she pretends to be shallow, and it diverts people from who she really is. He says the camera has captured her real woman self, just as Nathan walks in.

Nina tells Olivia that the pictures are peaceful and beautiful, and thanks her for being able to portray real women to her readers. She says the have a few real women candidates coming in today. In walks Epiphany.

Griffin wants another round of scans. Carly and Sonny says that’s fine with them. Carly gets a call about a booking conflict at the hotel and has to leave. I’ll bet there’s a lot of booking conflicts, since it’s the only place anyone ever goes. When she’s gone, Griffin tells Sonny he’s a lucky man. Sonny says Carly is his rock. Griffin says the right partner can make all the difference. Then he asks Sonny why he’s lying to Carly.

Tomorrow, Nicholas finds out more about Baxter and Hayden tells Tracy not to mention her father again.

Little Women: Atlanta

Emily and Bri decide to go horseback riding. Emily has been riding horses since she was a tot. She says everyone always tried to put her on a pony, but she’s comfortable with the big guys. Actually, jockeys aren’t that tall. I guess the main problem is the leg proportion. Emily is hoping the good vibes from the housewarming party, where she made her pregnancy announcement, carry over. She’s invited the twins to go riding with them.

Minnie and her mom are getting pedicures. Minnie’s mom suggests the foot bath is like a wading pool to her and I laugh with them. The twins join them. Minnie talks about her altercation with Juicy. The twins ask how she’s going to handle it when they see each other at the club. Minnie says as long as Juicy is cool, she’ll be cool.

They talk about Emily’s announcement. The twins have decided she must be lying and just wants attention. They want to get to the bottom of it. There are many jokes I could make here, but it’s too easy.

Bri and Emily are out shopping. Bri asks Emily what she’s going to do about boyfriend Lontel’s lack of enthusiasm for the pregnancy. Emily says eventually he’ll come around. Bri thinks Lontel should step up or Emily should ditch him. Emily doesn’t want to take advice from someone whose baby daddy is just stringing her along. Maybe I’ll actually catch his name this episode.

I’ve already come to the conclusion that these Atlanta little women are the Lifetime version of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Potomac. Both channels are slumming here. I’d like to know where the NYC little women went.

Monie’s boyfriend, Morlen, is moving in with her. She’s wondering if she can deal with him 24/7 even though she loves him. They talk about her job at the salon and Morlen asks how they’re divying up the bills. She wants him to pay everything. He says they’ll work on it until she gets her voice over career going.

The twins go to Emily’s house with a baby gift. They also want her to prove she’s pregnant. They think she’s lying, but if she is really pregnant, it means more jobs for them. Emily says she thinks she’s around 8 weeks. They ask if she’s still going to be working the clubs. Emily figures they’re trying to steal her turf. She asks if they want to go horseback riding and they’re cool with that, but when they get outside, start talking smack.

Wooda is the name of Bri’s baby daddy. More jokes abound in my head. Bri asks Wooda where the relationship is going. He thinks it’s cool as is, but knows she wants more. She says he basically can see other people, but she can’t. He claims not to like the dudes she hangs out with. Bri says she wants the family thing, and asks if he wants her to start looking around. He says he doesn’t want that, but she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. She wants to keep them together, but he doesn’t think it really matters to son Malik whether they’re actually together or not.

Bri says if Wooda won’t commit, she’s moving on. This means going to the club. How this is different from what she normally does, I’m not sure. Minnie says she’s done with her pseudo boyfriend and is also looking for love.

Some dudes join their table. One of them has six kids. Emily says the club is filled with baby mama drama and you have to weed them out. Dude says he’s kidding. Bri says none of them is her type, but she’s trying to be open. When they leave, Andre, the guy she was dancing with, follows her out and asks for her number. He does seem kind of cute, and would probably treat her better than Shooda Cooda Wooda.

Minnie’s boss, Miss Paula, is ticked because Monie is late and the stations aren’t set up. Minnie tells Monie that Miss Paula is going to evaluate her and she needs to step it up. Monie is shocked that she has to work at work. Miss Paula asks her how she thinks she’s done as well as productivity goes. She says today is the only day she wasn’t on point. Miss Paula asks what she’s passionate about. When Monie tells her, “voice overs,” Miss Paula says she’s in the wrong profession, and if she doesn’t want to be a stylist, she shouldn’t be there. Monie grumbles and Miss Paula says she can leave the salon now. Minnie is pretty embarrassed, although I’m wondering what she told Miss Paula to get Monie the job, since she knew this wasn’t Monie’s career choice.

Minnie tells Monie she needs to take her job seriously. Monie says nobody is going to tell her what to do. That would cancel out most jobs then. Minnie asks why she bothered doing her this favor and Monie says she was trying to prove to Morlen that she could hold down a job. Congrats on making it for a whole week.

Minnie drives the twins to an interview at a club. They talk smack about the Cheeks. Minnie says they work there sometimes, and the twins say that once they horn in, the Cheeks won’t be working as much. I might have to take a shower after this episode.

Club Bugaloo is apparently the hottest club in Atlanta. I’ll take their word for it. The manager tells them the Cheeks work there already, so why should she hire the twins? They say because they’re better. Very eloquent. They climb on to the bar via some swings (I hope this club has insurance) and do some twerking. The manager says she’ll talk to the owner and get back to them.

Bri is getting ready for a date with Andre. She says Wooda acts like he doesn’t care if she goes out, but he does, and since he claims he’s just there for their son, he can stay home and take care of him. Word!

Bri meets Andre. Bri says this is the first date in a while for her and she’s hoping Andre doesn’t just have a fetish. She explains her deal with Wooda. She says she lost her father when she was young and she’s searching for guys to give her what she lost. Pretty astute, although she does seem like the smartest of the bunch.

She and Andre go to a carnival or small amusement park or something. They talk relationships and he’s no dummy for a young guy. Bri says she needs to work on herself before opening up to anyone else. Andre says they should just play it by ear. I think she should go on another date with him.

At the stables, Bri tells Emily about Andre. Emily says no baby mama drama is a plus, but she doesn’t think Bri seems ready yet. Emily tells Bri about the twins selling themselves at Bugaloo and how they were trash talking the Cheeks.

Minnie and the twins show up and the twins are somewhat intimidated by the size of the horses. The way they agreed so readily to riding, I figured they’d gone before. It’s sort of like a pony ride for them and Minnie; a guy leads the horses around a ring with them in the saddles.

Emily is riding like a boss. Of course this leads the twins to thinking she’s not pregnant again. Because you can’t do anything normal when you’re pregnant. I don’t think these two have a lot going on in the smarts department.

After the riding lesson, the girls have a picnic. The twins announce their hiring at Bugaloo. Emily says the promoter called and told her about the twins’ remarks. The twins say the Cheeks do the same thing and Emily says ain’t nobody got time for that. She asks how they found the club and they tell her through Minnie. Emily asks why, out of the billions of clubs, do they have to work at the same place?

This leads the twins to thinking Emily isn’t pregnant again because they can only retain one thought between them. One of them pulls a pregnancy test out of her purse and one of them goes to the porta-potty with Emily. Yep, she’s pregnant, you two idiots. Emily says her doctor cleared her for riding and asks if there are any other questions.

Next week, the twins grow tired of their living arrangements with their boyfriends, the girls go on some kind of retreat, and Monie throws a drink in Juicy’s face.

Little Women: LA

Tonya and Terra are bathing their dogs. Terra tells Tonya about the effort to get Briana back with her family. Terra thinks Briana is being controlled by Matt and has lost her family because of him. Tonya is concerned, but says you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.

Briana has been married to Matt for 7 months now, and says they’re a tight family along with her daughter, Leiana. Briana says she was blindsided by Terra and Christy confronting her at Elena’s launch party. Matt tells her that he could care less about her family after the things they’ve said about him. Matt says they’ll never get an apology from him, but he wants to know what she wants to do. Briana says she doesn’t feel the need to deal with them after what’s been said.

Jasmine approaches her dad about giving Chris a job. Her dad came from Mexico when he was a teenager and built his own business. He tells Jasmine he loves her and not to worry; Chris can work there on the weekends. He seems like a straight-up guy.

Aww, Terra’s cat, Zeus, disappeared. She’s making lost cat flyers with Christy. She also wants to go over the Briana thing. She thought Matt was being over-dramatic and is concerned about Matt not wanting his future child to see her grandparents. Neither one of them trust Matt. Christy says Briana is a different person and looks unhappy. Terra wants to ask Jasmine for advice, since she’s closer to Briana. Christy suggests doing something fun like apple picking.

Tonya is Facetiming with her daughter’s father, Kerwin. They’ve been in an on and off again relationship for years, but she’s been the one who didn’t want commitment. She’s ready to settle down now and asks if there’s a future for them. He says he has a girlfriend and asks about her boyfriend. She says they’re just friends now. She doesn’t want to break up the friendship between her and her ex, but she wants Kerwin to drop his girlfriend completely. Kerwin says they have to talk in person and he’s willing to come out to see her.

Jasmine is making dinner and asks Chris if he’s had any calls from the railroad. He has, but they’re all out of state. She tells him about her dad’s offer of a job. Chris says he doesn’t know how he feels about it. Jasmine says right now he should at least give the restaurant a shot, since she doesn’t really want to move. Chris says he’s willing to check it out.

Tonya is doing target practice with a rifle. Terra is with her and the gun is as big as she is. Bigger actually. The guy brings her something smaller, but it still looks pretty big to me. Terra says she could see it going south as a group event and it’s good they’re going apple picking instead tomorrow.

Tonya tells Terra about Kerwin coming. Terra is concerned it’s just a rebound. Tonya says Kerwin loves her for her and that’s what she wants.

Preston brings red roses home to Elena. She says he’s always been supportive of her ideas. Elena tells him about not being invited to Jasmine’s party and the following confrontation. Elena says she doesn’t trust Jasmine anymore and didn’t invite her to the makeup launch party.

Elena brings up starting a family. Preston asks if she’s ready. She says she’s ready for a baby with her baby, and Preston kisses her. Lots of romantic stuff.

Jasmine needs to organize her closet, so she invites Briana over to see if she wants anything. She also wants the skinny on Elena’s party. Briana says no one talked about Jasmine, but tells her about how Christy and Terra approached her about mending fences with her family. Jasmine says she can’t imagine life without her family and hopes Briana can get back together with hers. Briana says they have two different families. She says hers tossed her out of the house because she was with Matt and have said awful things.

Jasmine says Briana needs a friend to support her right now. Briana says the other girls are judging her and they don’t know her family.

Christy’s parents have just moved in with them and they’re looking for a house with more space. She says it has to be a house that’s little people friendly, but it also has to please her mom. She doesn’t want to hear complaints for the rest of her life. The first house has a lot of stairs and Todd points out that it will be hard to carry a baby up and down. Christy thinks his real concern is his weight though, as she noticed he had a tough time navigating the steps.

On to apple picking! Tonya said her people picked cotton way back when, so she’s switching roles this time around. Ha-ha! Jasmine asks about Elena’s event. Christy talks about approaching Briana and how Matt seemed to be controlling the situation. Tonya says a man shouldn’t put a wedge between her and the family. Jasmine says Briana has been telling her that Matt did want to get them together. Jasmine is concerned about Matt not wanting Briana’s parents to see their future grandchild.

Terra arrives and says Elena can’t make it. Jasmine asks if it has to do with her and Terra says no, but Jasmine isn’t too sure. Briana arrives and Jasmine says it’s from one awkward situation to the next.

The apple lady says the trees are over 100 years old and gives them poles to pick the apples with. Briana says it looks easier than she thought, but it’s not. The poles are really long and probably difficult for an average sized person to maneuver.

There are some donkeys and miniature horses in a pen, and Terra and Jasmine check them out. Terra takes the opportunity to tell Jasmine how she should approach Briana with caution in regard to Matt. Jasmine says she probably has a softer way of dealing with things, but she wants to find out if Matt really said what Terra told her.

After the picking comes the drinking. Terra tells Briana she doesn’t want to pressure her or get in her business, but wants her to consider meeting with her parents. Christy says Matt is the one who doesn’t want to meet with them. Briana says it’s the way her family is going about it that he doesn’t like.

Jasmine tells Briana she’s sorry about what she’s gone through, but maybe Briana should meet with her parents without Matt. Tonya is tired of the pussyfooting around and tells Briana this wasn’t a problem before Matt and she shouldn’t allow a man to put a wedge between her and her family. Briana says that her parents think nothing is ever good enough and the girls say that’s just the way parents are.

Tonya says Matt was dead wrong to say her parents can’t see their future grandchild. She says no man should be allowed that option. She tells Briana Matt has total control over her. Briana says she’s never seen Tonya so upset. Tonya says Briana’s family was there for her before Matt was ever in the picture.

Terra says she knows Briana has a new family now, but she also has her roots. Tonya asks if Briana is going to see her family and Briana says she’ll think about it. Tonya says everyone has said their piece so, moving on.

They don’t want us to know what’s going to happen next week. I wonder if it’s that bad.

February 9, 2016 — Doings in Port Charles, Savannah & Beverly Hills

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan pays a surprise visit to Maxie. There’s no power or heat at his place, so he’s crashing with her. Oops, so is Lulu.

Alexis and Julian are getting busy when the doorbell rings. It’s Ava.

Anna tells Paul she didn’t want to be alone. He says it poses a lot of questions that she came to see him. She says maybe she’ll have some answers.

Sam asks how Jason found her. He says he doesn’t know, maybe luck. Third wheel Elizabeth slithers in and says she thinks she knows what happened.

Lulu asks Nathan how Dante is doing. Nathan says it’s been a while since they haven’t talked about anything personal in a while. Rocco starts crying. Lulu says he’s been fussy lately and goes to tend to him. Nathan tells Maxie they should move in together, because he’s always wanted to be on Three’s Company. I made up the Three’s Company part.

Anna apologizes for the hour and asks if Paul was on his way home. He says since home is now a hotel room, there’s no rush. He says he’s still processing the visit from Dillon. He asks about her trip, but Anna says she didn’t visit Robin and she lied to him. Hmm…what is up her sleeve?

Ava gifts Julian with a sculpture. It’s actually pretty cool. She says it’s a model and the real sculpture that’s coming later is huge. She thought it would look perfect on their terrace. Gee…thanks. Alexis is stunned and not in a good way. Her phone rings. It’s Monica. Alexis asks how badly Sam is hurt.

Sam tells Elizabeth she has a concussion, but her prognosis is good. She wonders how Jason knew to even look for her. He says that she never picked Danny up. He tells her about Jake’s surgery. He tells her what Jake said when he woke up and Elizabeth begs Sam not to say anything and says they’ll get Jake help. Sam says she fell by accident and Jake didn’t do anything to her.

Julian starts talking smack about Jason, like if something happened to Sam it must be his fault, and Alexis says he was the one to rescue Sam. Alexis runs out and Ava says fearing for your child is the worst. She says other than that, things seem to be going well for Julian. She says she’d give up a lot to live his life. Julian asks if she’s admitting she’s in over her head.

Anna says she wasn’t visiting Robin in Berkeley, she was in a jail in Halifax. After some clever banter, Paul asks how she wound up there, and she says she was investigating Carrrlos.

Sam tells Elizabeth and Jason what happened, how she spoke to Franco and went to Elizabeth’s house. She found Jake with a wounded hand and the window broken, and realized Jake had thrown a rock through the window. She says she told him it would be okay, but he ran to the basement and she followed him and fell. Jason says Jake thought he’d done something wrong and that’s why he ran away. Sam says it could have been worse for all of them. Jason says she told him to trust his instincts and he’s glad he did. Sam says sorry about Elizabeth’s house. Elizabeth thanks her for not blaming Jake.

Jason tells Sam she should get rest, but she’s afraid to close her eyes. Whenever she closed them when she was in the basement, Jason disappeared. He says he’s not going anywhere. Elizabeth is all weepy when she gets out into the hallway. Too bad. You created this situation for yourself.

Maxie agrees that she and Nathan should move in together. She says they should find a place of their own though. She almost gets online to start looking, and then remembers Lulu. She says Lulu isn’t ready to find her own place and she used to live in Maxie’s apartment, so it’s like coming home for her. Maxie says they should wait until Lulu is ready. Being perfect, Nathan agrees with her — in French.

Lulu comes out wearing the coolest coral top ever. They’re all about to toast when Maxie toast to her and Nathan moving in together. Lulu drops her glass.

Julian asks Ava if she’s having second thoughts about running the organization. She says she’s worried about Avery. Julian asks how much trouble she’s in.

Anna says she knows Carrrlos is dead, but she didn’t want to believe it. She’d rather believe there was a cover-up and says she convinced Robert to go along with her fantasies. Paul asks why Halifax, and she tells him her logic, saying it was the perfect jumping off point for a clean getaway. She says Carrrlos’s death is a fact and wonders why she couldn’t convince herself that Duke was alive instead and concentrate on looking for him.

Paul is like whoa, and tells her she’s still in mourning. She says she always will be. Paul says Duke was the love of her life, but she can’t stop living. He strokes her hair.

Sam tells Jason she would have died if it wasn’t for him and thanks him. He says he’s spent too much time not remembering their life together and now he wants to begin knowing her and repaying her for what she’s done for him.

Alexis arrives at the hospital. Sam says Jason saved her, and Alexis thanks him. Alexis says he probably doesn’t remember, but she’s never been very supportive of his and Sam’s relationship. She says she is now. He says thanks and he leaves.

Sam tells Alexis while she was lying in the basement, she knew the whole time that Jason would find her. She explains a little of what happened.

Monica tells Jason that Jake should sleep through the night, but she’s going to check on him periodically.

Ava says sometimes she just wants a normal life. Julian says define normal. She says like what he’s got, home, family, marrying the person he loves. He says she can have that, but she has to make a clean break from the business. He says the choice is hers. She says it’s not.

Anna babbles on about her inadequacies and how she’s looking for a purpose in her life. Paul says he understands and tells her about his meeting with Dillon. He says he had no part in Dillon’s childhood, because he put his ambitions first. He says Tracy put Dillon first, which he’s never done with any of his children. He mentions Susan and Anna says he never talks about her.

Elizabeth hones in on Jason. She says she sees the connection between him and Sam. She says she’s watched it grow over the years and doesn’t think it’s going away. Well, if she’d thought about that months ago, we all wouldn’t be here.

Alexis is pretty freaked about the exploding house. Sam says Jason was there like always.

Elizabeth thanks Jason. He says she doesn’t have to thank him, that Jake is his son. Monica comes out and tells them both to get some rest. Jason says he’s going to stay and Monica offers a place to Elizabeth, who has to go deal with the fire department. She has a place to go, but Monica tells her the invitation is open if she changes her mind. Alexis comes out and tells Elizabeth wants to speak with her privately.

Lulu says sorry about the glass. She’s thrilled for them, but it just surprised her. She says she forgot the feeling of when she was first in love with Dante and wonders how they got so far away from it. She says she didn’t mean to turn the celebration into a pity party. She gets excited about Nathan moving in and makes Netflix plans for the evening.

Ava says she’s in a complicated situation that’s increasingly out of her control. Julian asks if she needs his help, but Alexis comes in before she can answer. Julian asks what happened and Alexis says they should have wine first. He asks if it’s that bad and she says it’s that good, Sam is alive and well because of Jason. Ava leaves.

Anna asks how Susan is and Paul says they’re not in contact. Anna says she’s taken up enough of his time. He says he has an 18-year-old bottle of scotch if she’d like to join him in a drink. She asks for a rain-check. He says his door is always open. When she gets into the hallway, Anna wonders aloud what she’s doing.

When Ava gets outside, her phone rings. She sees that it’s Paul and knows because of the hour that it must be a booty call. She tells him sorry, move on to your next blackmail victim. Paul downs the shot and throws the glass against the wall.

Sam reassures Elizabeth that Jake didn’t push her. She says she knows Jake has problems, but it was an accident. Elizabeth thanks her and she says all she did was tell the truth and that the truth matters. Since Elizabeth doesn’t know what that word means, she has to run an find a dictionary. Jason, not knowing what the word private means, comes in. Elizabeth leaves and Sam tells Jason what they talked about.

Sam asks Jason for a favor. She says her father will no doubt try to blame him, so not to listen to anything he says. He says only if she’ll return the favor by getting some rest. She says he doesn’t have to stay and he says he wants to.

Maxie tells Nathan the four of them living together will be an adjustment, but it’s what Lulu needs right now. He’s so agreeable, we know his character isn’t based on any living human being. Lulu comes down and she and Maxie chatter away on the couch while they watch a movie, with Nathan in the middle.

Paul looks at a childhood picture of his daughter.

Anna calls Mac and tells him to investigate further into Paul’s relationships with his children, especially Susan. She tells Mac that Paul was almost vulnerable when he spoke about her. As Anna leaves the bar, someone is following. While I do wonder who it is, my main question is why did Anna go from Paul’s office to the bar to make a call on her cell phone?

Elizabeth goes to her house. The fire department is there because it’s a serious mess and she can’t go inside. She finds a picture of her and Jason, and cleans it off. She wanders around looking at the chaos, equating it to the mess she’s made of her life. I don’t know if she’s really that deep, but it sounded good.

Jason asks if Sam was ever hurt because of him. She says his love has kept her alive.

Tomorrow, Nicholas and Hayden are back from Vegas and Maxie might become a star yet.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Hanna runs like crazy to the hospital with Quincy Jr. in her arms. The OR doctors ask what happened, but Hanna can’t tell them. She says he told her his stomach was hurting and then he passed out. Hanna calls on Jesus in the waiting room. I was almost going to say, for a Christian woman, she has been pretty bent out of shape for a while, but I guess that’s the point. We ain’t perfect.

Benny tells Mitch he has to go somewhere and he’ll be back in a couple of hours. Mitch says he’s tired of handling everything himself and Warlock hasn’t shown up. Benny says he has to handle something, but won’t tell Mitch what it is. Mitch notices he has a shovel in his car.

Wyatt is still prancing around in his underwear. He tells Jeffrey he’s a happy man. Jeffrey says their parents are in jail and Wyatt says it’s reason to celebrate. DA Jennifer calls and tells Wyatt he passed the drug test. She tells him Kathryn might be getting out soon, so maybe he wants to look for another place. He says he’ll be out by the morning. Wyatt shows Jeffrey the car he’s going to buy. Jeffrey isn’t impressed and Wyatt tells him to quit acting like an old guy.

Wyatt suggests they take a trip to Brazil. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to go and he doesn’t think Wyatt should either. Jeffrey says Wyatt can’t handle a lot of money and this isn’t good for him. He asks who gave him the money because no judge would have done it. Jeffrey says he cares about Wyatt. Wyatt says if Jeffrey would stop wishing Wyatt would love him, it would be better. Jeffrey says Wyatt needs to start loving himself.

Jeffrey says he’s going back to the hotel. Wyatt tells him to have them book the presidential suite for him. He puts on some loud music and jumps around on the couch like an immature maniac. Jeffrey leaves and Wyatt plays air guitar.

Benny is cleaning like a mad man when Candace comes in with more bleach. She asks what Benny did with the body. Benny says he couldn’t move the body because her neighbor was watching, so he buried Quincy in the yard. Benny tells Candace that the neighbor has cameras focused on her front door, so until the old lady croaks, she’d better be aware of that.

Benny asks if Candace found Jeffrey. She says yes and things are cool. She tells Benny he’s with Wyatt and Benny asks if Jeffrey told Wyatt about what happened. Candace says no.

Dr. Jackson tells Hanna Quincy Jr. will be fine. He tells her that Quincy Jr. has lupus and needs to take medicine for it. She says she just got custody and didn’t know. He says Quincy is in ICU. He tells her that the medicine is very expensive. He can give her some generic samples, but she’ll have to pay for them. Um…that doesn’t sound right. I’ve gotten plenty of samples in my day and also worked for a clinic for a couple of years. There should be no charge for samples. Let’s not make Hanna more broke than she is. The doctor adds that Quincy needs to be kept in a clean environment because of his asthma. Another surprise to Hanna. The doctor tells her that she can’t see him until he’s out of ICU. He tells her to go home and rest, but she says she’s going to sit there all night. Dr. Jackson says she can’t see Quincy Jr. until tomorrow, so she should at least go to work and take her mind off of things. She says she’ll be back in the morning.

Veronica is in the interrogation room. David comes in and hands the guard a wad of cash. David wants to know where Veronica is living He says they need to have trust. She refuses to tell him and he says she won’t get out until she tells him. She says he and Maggie are playing games with her. She mentions the paper. He says for that to have been printed there must be something to it. He asks again where she lives and she says with her man. She asks if it upsets him and starts telling him what she does with her man. David leaves.

Candace’s neighbor is outside when Jeffrey pulls up in a cab. She doesn’t even pretend not to be eyeballing him. There’s no answer at Candace’s and he wants the keys to his car. The neighbor asks him what his name is. She says it was a quiet neighborhood until Candace moved in. She tells him Candace is home, but she’s in there with two men. She asks if Candace is a prostitute. Jeffrey walks off and she says her son is on the police force. Yeah, we’ve met him already and he’s a real charmer just like mom.

Oscar comes to David’s office. David says he has a problem. He says he believes there’s a hit out on his wife and he needs Oscar to find out who set it up. Oscar says David has to give him something to go on. David says Mama Rose told him that Veronica shouldn’t go home. Oscar says neither should David. David says he doesn’t know where Veronica lives. David says he’s sure that Veronica wouldn’t have made it easy, and that she’s good at protecting herself. Oscar says he’ll get right on it, but to make sure Veronica doesn’t go home. David says she can’t; she’s in jail.

David gives Oscar the photo and says he also wants to know who the man is in it. Oscar says he’ll find out and leaves.

Candace, who has an amazing shoe closet, tells Benny she’s really planning on taking the bar, but she hasn’t been able to make it happen yet. She thanks him and says he always comes through for her. She says there’s one more thing she needs. She says it’s easy and he can make a lot of money. He says it’s the same old with her and that he just buried someone in the backyard. He says he’s done. Candace says she promises it’s legit.

She tells him they found out who hit him and he’s rich. She gives him the paper. He asks if it’s the same people Hanna works for. She says yes, and Hanna knew. She says if he sues them, he can get millions. Benny can’t believe that Hanna knew and didn’t tell him. Candace says Wyatt told her. Benny’s head is spinning from all he’s had to take in lately.

The police are running a check on the car Jeffrey was driving. There’s blood on it and he told them he hit a deer. The cop on the case calls Quincy’s sister, Quita (sorry, I’ve been calling her Queen), and tells her the car has been impounded. He tells her that Jeffrey got arrested driving the car. He starts asking her questions that she has no answers for, since she doesn’t even know Jeffrey. He tells her she can pick it up any time. She calls a dude named Delon and tells him to come and get her.

Candace is getting dressed. Her freaking door is wide open and she comes out of the bathroom to see Warlock sitting there. He tells her time is running out. She says she’s working on something and tells him about the lawsuit. He says she just has a week. She asks for more time and he says no. He tells her if she runs, her brother is dead. He says she lied to him and lost everything. She says they all go back to when they were kids. War says he’s never lied to her, but he’s covered for her and protected her, and he’s hurt that she lied to him. She’s no longer blood to him. He says she knows he doesn’t make threats without following through. Then he says he wants to watch her take a shower. Okay. He actually seemed like a normal thug up until then.

David comes back to the hotel. He sees a door open, and it’s Maggie in the next room. She starts to apologize and David tells her to take her clothes off. Alrighty then.

David and Maggie are having pillow talk. For whatever reason, I don’t like these two together. Maybe I’m pissed that she was so pushy and David gave in. Oh, this is nice. He just said they were foolish not to use protection and she’s not on the pill. He says he doesn’t want any more kids and she says she’ll get the morning after pill. He asks if she wants him to get it and she says what? he doesn’t trust her? He says he wouldn’t be there if he didn’t. She asks why he is there and he says he’s getting a divorce, which of course makes Maggie ecstatic.

David says he doesn’t know if this was a mistake or not. She says they enjoyed it and he says that’s not the point. He was angry and used her. She tells him to use her again. Oh brother.

Next week, David confronts Benny and Hanna confronts Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle and LisaV meet Yolanda at a place where they have cryochambers. These things are minus 140 degrees Celsius and I have no idea how this works, even though the guy is explaining it. He says they’ll come out different people. Yeah, popcicles. Lisa goes first and isn’t thrilled, but makes a bunch of jokes. Kyle is next. She says she’s freezing her ass off and the guy says that’s why Hollywood does this. Does it promote weight loss too? Sign me up!

Erika’s closet looks like a store. Her stylist is helping her get ready for her gig in San Diego. She picks up a necklace with the c-word on it that she’s bringing it special for Kathryn. Bleh. Why did she have to ruin my like of her? It’s just mean to deliberately make someone uncomfortable.

LisaR is also getting ready. She’s not sure what to expect, so she packs about three suitcases for one night.

LisaV, Kyle and Yolanda go out for lunch after getting frozen. Kyle says her knee was hurting and now it’s not, and Lisa says she does think the chambers were beneficial. Yolanda isn’t coming to San Diego because her bedtime is at 8.

Yolanda tells them about LisaR’s visit. She says she would never question someone’s illness. LisaV says that LisaR wasn’t questioning it, just repeating what someone else said. Yolanda wants to know how Kyle and LisaV contributed to the conversation and if they stood up for her. She says LisaR told her that LisaV questioned her kids having immune deficiency. LisaV repeats what she’d said, that Mohammad said the kids were fine, and Yolanda says Mohammad pays the medical bills.

Commercial break. I see we’re back to pronouncing Teresa Guidice’s name “ju-dice” again, rather than “ju-dee-chee.” Duly noted.

LisaV says from what she’s gotten from Mohammad, the kids are healthy. Yolanda pulls out the kids medical records and wants Lisa to read them, and apologize. She says what Lisa said was discrediting. I think she’s kind of going overboard with this. Lisa says all she said was that she never knew they were ill. Yolanda says she doesn’t like people talking behind her back. It wasn’t behind Yolanda’s back; it was part of a conversation that happened after she left. Kyle says she doesn’t get why they would be dragged into it. Yolanda still trues to foist the papers on Lisa, who refuses them.

Kyle and LisaV part company with Yolanda outside and continue down the street. Kyle says LisaR told her she wanted to apologize and doesn’t get why she stirred up trouble. Lisa says yeah, apologize for your own stuff.

Eileen and Kathryn are out for lunch. They make small talk. Eileen once dated Kathryn’s ex-husband, so Kathryn asks when it was. Eileen says it was before they were married in 1988. Kathryn says hmm…they were dating then too. They laugh about it though. They talk about Erika’s upcoming show.

Kathryn’s husband calls. They’re having renovations done and he’s giving her an update. Even though it’s not finished, Kathryn is having the ladies over. Kathryn is startled to find out that Eileen doesn’t buy expensive purses. Eileen said her bags are janky and she brought one that’s not even in good shape. Eileen says she feels bag pressure. I have to admit, most of my bags look better.

Erika rents a tour bus. She and her crew drink Dom Perignon from plastic cups. Her husband, Tom, is pretty busy, so he doesn’t get to all of her shows, but he checks in.

LisaV is shocked at the amount of luggage LisaR is bringing. The girls all take a limo together. LisaR says she looked up the club they’re going to and Friday night is “pervert night.” This should be good. They drink and compare shoes. Kathryn brings up Eileen’s lack of a decent purse and they talk bags.

Kyle tells them about the cryotherapy. LisaR asks about Yolanda’s health and LisaV says she’d like to know what LisaR said to make Yolanda bring her kids’ medical records to lunch. LisaR says she went to Yolanda’s to be honest about what she said, and didn’t bring up anyone else. LisaR says someone else must be talking to Yolanda. LisaV says she never mentioned Munchhausen and she wants to drop the conversation about Yolanda’s illness entirely and forever.

Erika gets body makeup eveywhere. She moves on to face makeup and Yolanda calls. She apologizes for not being able to make it, but says she’s just not ready for all that yet.

The ladies get to the hotel. Eileen goes to LisaR’s room after they’ve both gotten ready. Lisa says that she’s put things together and thinks that someone else is talking to Yolanda about LisaV, and that someone might be Erika. She says she’s going to get to the bottom of it tonight. Yeah, because this entire group loves to bring things up in the most inappropriate places possible.

Kyle’s closest friend, Lorene, meets them at the hotel. They take a limo to the club. LisaR thinks she’s being a scapegoat and she tells LisaV she’s going to find out who’s talking about her. LisaV suggests they leave it alone.

The club is hopping with a lot of leather and S&M outfits. It’s also wall to wall people, mostly gay men. Erika Jayne is introduced. It’s not my kind of music, but she’s good at what she does. The ladies enjoy it. LisaR says she could be Britney. Maybe Britney a long time from now. After the show, the ladies get on the bus. LisaR says it’s a rock star moment and she’s a rock star in her mind. Me too.

Everyone complements her one the show. Kathryn says she doesn’t like the necklace, although at first she thought it said “candy.” I don’t think LisaV is too crazy about the necklace either, but she keeps it to herself. Erika has a different definition of the word than I do, and probably every other woman I know. Erika says she’s on her turf now, not PUMP or Beverly Hills. They get to Erika’s hotel room.

LisaR tells Erika what happened with Yolanda. I can’t believe these people waste time with this stuff. She wonders who must have said something. Eileen says somebody said something, and Erika says it’s ot her. In her individual interview, she says it was her, but she doesn’t want to talk about it right now, since she’s having her shining moment. Dislike meter going up. Erika starts getting loud, causing several of the women to wonder what she’s upset about. Erika kind of points the finger back to LisaR, and in her individual interview, Lisa says perhaps Erika should start doing some owning. LisaV wonders why Erika doesn’t want to talk about it. LisaR says it’s not her job to make it okay and Erika suggests they drop it. The girls all call it a night.

In the hallway, LisaR says she doesn’t understand it and she’s not happy. The girls decide to go to bed. LisaR is having a hard time finding hers and it’s practically right in front of her. LisaV and Kyle are goofing around with the room service carts and break some dishes. How much have they had to drink? You can dress them up, but you can’t take them out.

Next week,, Adrienne Maloof meets with Kyle, Yolanda has a carnival, and as usual, there’s a big confrontation.