Monthly Archives: March 2016

March 30, 2016 — GH, Little Women & Little Penny


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

I had lunch with a friend today and missed General Hospital, so I was pleased to see they have it On Demand the same day now. While you can scare it up online pretty quickly, the videos aren’t always the best and the commercials are plentiful and inserted at weird times. This is good news indeed. It won’t forward through commercials, but it’s a small price to pay.

General Hospital

Scotty is snoring away on the couch. Ava wakes him by dumping water on him. She says she’s been trying to wake him for 10 minutes and that she doesn’t think their arrangement is going to work.

Franco brings Kiki athletic shoes and says since she’s up and around, she can go jogging; he’ll be a spectator. Kiki asks if Morgan has been there. She hasn’t heard from him. Franco says you can’t just make calls form the institution.

Michael tells Morgan that Carly is coming to visit with Josslyn and Avery. Morgan says he knows he should be happy, but wonders if he’ll ever feel anything again.

Julian shows Alexis the tabloid headline about Carrrlos.

Carly shows Sonny the same thing and asks if that’s why Anna came by. She asks how long he’s known and what he’s going to do about it.

Ava tells Scotty it was like a sawmill all night and that he would have slept through a visit from a SWAT team. He says he took a sleeping pill and Ava says he’s supposed to be guarding her. He says maybe he’d sleep better in a bed.

Franco tells Kiki that Morgan has been admitted to the Freeman Clinic — indefinitely. She wants to call him, but Franco says it would be a bad idea. Kiki says it’s his voice that woke her up and she wants to help. Franco says she can’t and that Morgan was admitted because he tried to kill himself.

Michael tells Morgan things will get better. Morgan says he wishes he could believe that.

Alexis freaks. Julian says it would be stupid for Carrrlos to come back to Port Charles. Alexis says if Carrrlos talks to Sonny, Julian is dead. Julian says he’ll look into it. They embrace. Kristina comes downstairs and tells them to get a room. Julian gets a call and has to leave. Kristina asks Alexis what’s up.

Sonny tells Carly he’s working with Anna and plans on bringing Carrrlos in alive. Carly asks what he’s going to do after he brings Carrrlos back.

Kristina asks if Julian is okay and Alexis says he’s fine. She has something to discuss with Kristina though. Her diary.

Franco tells Kiki that her getting shot isn’t exactly her first time at the rodeo with Morgan, and he has a list of infidelities as well. He says Kiki matters to him and Morgan isn’t worth the risk.

Morgan want to talk about Sonny’s business, but Michael nixes it. He asks Morgan why he thinks he’s there and Morgan says he’s broken and can’t be fixed.

Julian goes to Ava’s place. She asks Scotty to leave. She tells Julian it’s not what it looks like and explains about the threat she got, saying she wanted some protection. She asks if he came up with a solution to her problem. Julian says he has a meeting with Hammer and the meeting is going to be at Ava’s. Ava is like, thanks a lot, but Julian says by the end of the day everything will be fine. She says she’s getting out of there then. She notices something seems wrong and Julian says it’s nothing and he’ll talk to her later.

Sonny says Carrrlos isn’t the target, Julian is the one who had Duke killed. He tells Carly not to tell Morgan. Michael is worried about Sabrrrina and the baby, and they’re taking every precaution to make sure they’re safe. Carly asks what’s going to happen with Carrrlos once he testifies? Sonny says they should get going because of visiting hours. Josslyn asks what it’s like there and Sonny says quiet. She asks what she can to do help Morgan, and Sonny says love him.

Kristina goes ballistic about her journal, saying Alexis has no right to read it. Alexis says she didn’t; she found it on the living room floor. She says whenever clients leave evidence behind, they usually want to get caught. She asks is there’s something Kristina wants her to know. Kristina says she doesn’t want her to know, but it’s time she did. Alexis says fire away. Kristina tells her the professor she tried to seduce was a woman.

Hammer tells Julian that Ava was working undercover. Julian says Ava didn’t give anyone any information. Hammer says the organization still doesn’t like it, but Julian says they have his word she had nothing to do with the bust. Hammer says that’s good enough for the organization, but they want Julian to come back and head things up. This guy sounds like a character straight out of The Godfather.

Kiki calls the Freeman Clinic. She tells them she’s Morgan’s wife, but still doesn’t get anywhere. She starts getting out of bed and Ava walks in. Kiki says they need to have a serious talk and Ava says okay. Kiki asks where Morgan was calling from. Ava says she knows the answer. Kiki says she’s lifting the ban on talking about Morgan and wants to know everything.

Michael tells Morgan not to worry. Morgan says that’s the upside, all emotions are at a standstill. Carly comes in and Josslyn engages Morgan in a conversation about films and says she has a list of movies she wants to see with him. Michael tells Carly this might not be a good idea, but she thinks Morgan might want to see Avery. Michael says Carly seems upset, so what’s up. I have to interject that for a character who hasn’t been on this show pretty much since she was born, they sure are shoving Josslyn at us.

Sonny is on the phone with someone, saying he’s got a phone tap in place, and when whoever is ready, to call him.

Kristina says Alexis already knows the rest, the only difference is that Parker is a woman, not a man. Alexis asks if it went anywhere. Kristina says no, but Parker did stop by yesterday. Kristina says she made a pass at her, but Parker stopped it. Alexis asks if Parker is the only woman she’s gotten physical with. Kristina says at first she thought maybe it was just Parker specifically, but Parker thinks she should explore the possibility that she likes women. Alexis says it’s inappropriate for Parker to be advising her, and she’s had abusive men in her past. Kristina says would it be that bad if she was gay?

Franco asks if Scotty is moving into Ava’s building and then asks if he’s living with Ava. Scotty says you caught me and Franco says please don’t tell me you’re sleeping with her. Scotty says no way.

Ava says she thinks Morgan might be bad for Kiki and he needs more help than Kiki can give him. She’s concerned about Kiki’s progress being impeded. Kiki says since Ava loves her, she knows she’ll help her do something she can’t do on her own.

Morgan asks Carly how Kiki is and she passes Avery to him. He talks to Avery and asks Michael to take them home. He says he doesn’t want them in this place. Carly gives Michael her keys, saying take her car because she’s saying. She’s wearing an awesome blue ombre sweater jacket and I wonder where she bought it. Morgan says she doesn’t need to be there and what if he doesn’t get better. She says he has to give it time. He says he’s become okay with not getting the better parts of his life back and Carly should be too.

Kristina says she thought Alexis would be the easy parent to talk to. Alexis says give her a minute and she’s fine with it if Kristina’s gay. She says college is a confusing time for students though, and Kristina says let’s drop it and don’t tell dad. Alexis says she won’t. Kristina says it’s sad that Alexis is disappointed about who she is instead of what she’s done.

Julian tells Hammer to keep their decision under wraps. He says to tell the organization that he didn’t appreciate the black rose they sent to Ava. Hammer says they never sent anything like that.

Sonny is on the phone again when Michael brings Josslyn and Avery back. Josslyn explains Morgan didn’t want them there and asks when he’s coming home. Sonny says they don’t know yet and she goes upstairs. Sonny asks Michael what’s up and Michael says it’s the meds and Morgan feels a disconnect. He asks what’s happening with Carrrlos. Sonny says he has a meeting to go to and to do for Carly what he can’t, to be there for her.

Carly tells Morgan things will change. She went through it with Sonny and she promises he’ll feel things again. Morgan says he wants to be happy when he sees them or even be pissed off at something, but he feels empty. Carly says he’s not empty and she promises things will change. She says look who’s here. He says tell them go away and Carly says he’ll have to do that himself.

It’s Ava and Kiki with a walker. Kiki says Ava snuck her out of the hospital and she told the desk she was his half-sister’s half sister. He asks for time with Kiki alone and the others leave.

Morgan asks how she is. Kiki says glad she knows where he is because no one would tell her. She asks how Morgan is. He says he needs for her to hear him before she says anything else.

Alexis says apparently she’s saying all the wrong things. Kristina says it took a lot to tell her what she did and she’s not the only one who’s disappointed.

Scotty asks Franco how it’s going with Nina. Franco says happy and good and they both love their jobs. Scotty asks what’s really going on and Franco says Nina wants a kid and he doesn’t Scotty says they’re a lot of trouble. Franco asks if it’s a deal breaker and Scotty says yes.

Morgan says he wants KIKI to go and never come back.

Ava tells Carly she expects Kiki home soon. Carly says Ava is probably going to want Avery back.

Sonny says his business and family are starting to blur. Michael says Carly doesn’t blame him. Sonny says she’s trying not to and he needs Michael to hold things together. He says if Carly asks, tell her he had to go on something business related. He opens the door and there’s Julian.

Tomorrow, Emma asks Griff if he’s a friend of her grandmother’s , Kiki tells Morgan she needs him, Ava tells Carly she’s not a monster and Julian tells Sonny to knock it off.

Little Women: LA

Briana and Matt go out to lunch and Briana tells him about the Mexico trip. She says it was supposed to be her time to fix issues with everyone, but it just made things worse. She only wants to invite Jasmine and Elena to the wedding. Terra and Tonya are out, and Christy is in guest list limbo. Matt suggests she invites her parents because he doesn’t want her to look back and wish she had. Briana isn’t sure how she feels about that.

Tonya and Terra look at photos from the trip. Tonya says the pictures make it look like they had a good time. Terra feels badly about how it ended and wants to put the pictures together as a peace offering to Briana. Terra says that Christy is playing both sides and wonders how Briana can be friends with her, although that’s not exactly the case. Terra says she almost became friends with Christy again until Ali put in her two cents.

Briana brings Jasmine some flowers. Jasmine says the bachelorette party was a disaster and feels badly about it. She asks if Terra has reached out to Briana. Briana says she got a text asking for them to get together, but she hasn’t responded. She asks Jasmine to go with her to the dress designer and asks her to be the matron of honor. Why does Jasmine have a kiddie pool in her living room?

Christy is making dinner. Todd comes into the kitchen. He’s shaved his beard and left his mustache. Christy tells him he looks like an Italian porn star. She tells Todd about Elena being pregnant with twins. She says she’s happy for Elena, but I think she’s also sad for herself. She says everyone is getting pregnant except her. Well, that’s not exactly true. She says Todd must be upset too, deep down, but he says he’s not. Christy gets annoyed because she thinks Todd is holding back. Obviously, she knows him better than I do, but I’m not getting that feeling.

Elena takes Terra to check out her new makeup line. They look at the designs for the packaging. Elena is concerned about being ginormous if they need her for an event. Terra invites her to line dancing. She says she invited Briana, but hasn’t heard back and thinks Briana is blowing her off. She wants to get together with her before they get together as a group, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.

Matt and Briana do some pottery painting. Briana is doing a frame and tells Matt she has the picture she wants to put in it. It’s a photo of her positive pregnancy test. Hmm…maybe everyone is getting pregnant except for Christy.

Jasmine and Terra go Western hat shopping. Jasmine appreciates Terra’s effort to get everyone together. Terra tells her about reaching out to Briana and just getting crickets in response. She says she’s starting to feel like a stalker. Terra says Christy feels like she does about Matt, and doesn’t understand why Briana is okay with Christy. She asks Jasmine if Christy has been talking smack about her. Jasmine says Christy claimed she practically had to force Terra to come to Mexico. Jasmine says she’s getting conflicting information with what Christy is telling her and what she’s telling the rest of the girls.

Commercial break. What has happened to Vivica A. Fox that she keeps hosting these second-rate reunion shows, like Bring It! and Mob Wives (sorry, Big Ang)? She was in Kill Bill for God’s sake!

Briana and Matt take their kids to miniature golf, no pun intended. Briana is feeling nauseous, but she says they don’t get many family days, so she’s ignoring it. She says Terra keeps texting her and she keeps not texting back. Briana says one of her sisters has been badgering her about the pending baby and she’s concerned that someone will tell her daughter before she does, so she and Matt tell the kids.

Jasmine gets to the formal showroom before Briana, but she’s over an hour late which is unusual for her. She calls Briana and it turns out she’s in the ER. She’s hyperventilating and she doesn’t know what’s going on. Jasmine says don’t worry and she’ll talk to her later.

Christy and Todd, who has shaved his porn stache, go to couples counseling. Christy talks about Elena having twins. She says she’s happy and sad at the same time. Wait until she hears about Briana. Christy feels like Todd brushed her off. The counselor says they don’t have to feel the same way about things, but be present for each other.

Todd talks about the CPR class and how Christy went off on him about his weight. Christy says he’s killing himself with food the way she once did with alcohol. The counselor says sometimes when you don’t want to deal with an uncomfortable feeling it turns to anger, but she can see how much they love each other.

It’s line dancing time! Terra and Tonya get to the bar first. Tonya hopes the dancing is easier than getting up on the stools. I identify, being a shortie. Tonya asks if Terra has heard from Briana, but she hasn’t. Terra tells Tonya about her conversation with Jasmine and they discuss Christy being two-faced about Matt.

Jasmine and Elena arrive next. Elena is like, we don’t line dance in Russia, I have two left feet and neither one of them dance. Jasmine tells the girls about Briana being in the hospital. For whatever reason, Tonya thinks Briana is lying. She seems to think if it was the truth, Briana would have texted her friends, but she isn’t feeling friendly toward her or Terra, so… Oddly enough, Briana and Christy walk in at that moment.

Terra says Briana looks fine and of course thinks she must have lied about the hospital. Briana says she was driving and all of a sudden couldn’t breathe, but the hospital couldn’t find anything wrong. It’s probably stress. She decides to keep the pregnancy to herself for now. The dancing commences.

Christy says she loves line dancing, but this is like line dancing on crack. Terra asks Briana why she’s been ignoring her texts. She wonders why there was no response to her reaching out. Briana says she was keeping to herself for a while, and Tonya criticizes her for not saying anything. Terra says she feels like Briana isn’t even trying. Elena says Briana is having a wedding soon and she heard Briana isn’t inviting everyone. Briana says she’s not sure if there’s enough time to mend the friendships. In her individual interview, Terra says she doesn’t think Briana understands that she can support her, but not Matt. Christy says she’s not going to beg about going to the wedding. Briana says if they want to be her friend, just be her friend. She says she’s not going to argue any more because she found out she’s pregnant. Well she didn’t keep it to herself for long.

In her individual interview, Tonya says she thought Briana would get a divorce before she got pregnant. Everyone congratulates her. Terra asks if she’ll be allowed to see the baby since Matt controls Briana’s life. Briana asks if she just wants to fight with her and the texts are brought up again. WTF? Isn’t Briana allowed to talk to who she wants? It seems like Terra is trying to control her more than Matt is. Terra says she’s making an excuse for everything. Briana says if she can’t be happy for her, she doesn’t need her as a friend.

Terra tells Christy she doesn’t appreciate her lying about Terra and Tonya being forced to go to Mexico. She says she had to convince them, but she never said she forced anything. Jasmine says Christy seemed like she didn’t want to go, even though she’s not crazy about Matt. Terra calls Christy on throwing them under the bus.

Christy says she never said anything about forcing them, just convincing them. Terra says she doesn’t let anyone tell her what to do. Christy says it’s not the same thing. Terra says once a liar always a liar and Christy is a liar. Christy says Terra lied about Christy’s drinking and the next thing I know, Terra throws a drink in Christy’s face. It immediately escalates and all kinds of drinks are being thrown back and forth. I’m not so sure this scene isn’t contrived.

Next week, Christy gets hurt in the fray, the tabloids pick up on the story, and Joe tells Terra to keep her distance from the trash. Ooh, snap!

Little Women: Terra’s Little Family

Joe and Terra wait for Penny to get out of surgery. Finally, the doctor comes in and says everything went well. He says Penny is going to intensive care and they’ll be able to see her there.

Penny looks peaceful, sleeping and sucking on her binkie. She has to stay for a while, so she can be monitored. Terra is going to stay overnight. They count their blessings.

Joe goes back to the house to get some things for Penny. He tells Terra’s brother. Erik, these are the hardest days of his life. He remembers his own surgeries and hates that Penny has to go through this. He’s also worried about Terra being exhausted. Erik suggests a spa day. They go through some other things that he might do. Stripper maids gets a veto. They decide to clean the house.

Terra video chats with Joe. Penny is awake and she says Penny is recovering very well. She says there’s a good chance Penny can come home tomorrow. If she has a poop. Yep. Hospital rule. They never let you go without one.

Terra calls her mom to tell her that Penny is being released and doing better than expected. Terra says she’s on Tylenol around the clock, either in her milk or in a suppository. She claims Penny’s eyes got big when she said that.

Erik and Joe get the house ready for Terra. Joe says they have about 15 minutes to get it done. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. They also make an attempt at some festive decorating. Joe got Penny and Terra some presents as well.

Terra asks what took Joe so long to pick her up. He says he was cleaning and Erik stopped by. She’s like ah-ha! you were goofing around. Terra says they have to be on top of giving Penny her pain meds and changing her bandage. Joe calls bandage, but Terra puts the kibosh on that because of her long nails. She complains about how long he took to pick them up again.

She’s pretty surprised to walk in to a clean, decorated place, and feels badly about her complaints. He says he’s glad she likes it and glad she feels bad, but adds she’s an awesome supermom.

It’s time for the first suppository and Joe suggests they call someone more qualified.

Success! Terra congratulates Joe. Terra opens the first gift and it’s a high chair with a swing. Joe also got Penny a dollhouse that’s taller than he is. Terra is impressed and Joe asks if he can get some sex. He says he feels happy, lucky and in love with his daughter. Aww!

In the back of Terra’s mind, she’s wondering if Penny is going to be all right. She talks about another potential surgery for a build up of water on the brain. In a few months she’ll need another MRI. Terra says she doesn’t want to feel like it’s their fault, since they knew prior to having Penny what the complications might be. She wants to have another baby, but wonders if that’s the right decision. Joe says Penny is having all this done as a baby so she can live a normal life. He says she’s an amazing kid and Terra is an amazing mom. He suggests they be happy for five minutes and take everything else as it comes.

Terra says all they can do is be hopeful that Penny won’t need another surgery. “Grandma” Olivia is coming, but Terra says she’s a little animated to be around a baby who just had surgery. Terra says she’s nervous about anyone handling Penny right now. Olivia wants to talk about baby number two, which she’s encouraging.

Tonya comes over. She had the same surgery as Penny did and Terra feels like she’s trying to downplay the surgery to assuage her guilt. Terra tells her it hurt her feelings that Tonya never came to the hospital. Tonya says she feels badly and doesn’t have a good excuse, but says it won’t happen again and apologizes. Terra says she’ll get over it, but Tonya better make it up to Penny in the future.

Terra talks about having baby number two. Tonya thinks it might be difficult right now while they’re dealing with Penny and suggests she wait until Penny has gotten past some milestones first. She asks how Terra is going to get Joe to agree and Terra says there are ways.

Penny needs her bandage changed for the first time. Joe says the surgery was heartbreaking, but it’s great to see Penny acting so normal already. Penny starts to cry when the bandage is being changed, and Terra takes over. Afterwards, Terra gives Penny a bottle and she calms down pretty quickly.

Terra asks Joe about his take on baby number two. He thinks they should wait until Penny is a toddler. Terra says she wants a big family and Joe says they have four dogs. Terra says the older she gets, the harder it is on her body. Joe says him too, as he has spinal issues and might need another surgery himself. Terra suggests they get physicals and get in good condition first.

Terra and Joe go to see Terra’s OB/GYN about having another baby. Terra asks the doctor if he thinks it’s a good idea. He asks if she’s having her period again and if she’s regular. She says she only menstruates every other month, so the doctor says that means she ovulates fewer times a year, so they should start soon. They talk about the possibility of having another baby with health issues. The doctor says another option is doing it in vitro, where the embryos can be individually tested, but Terra feels a little weird about that.

Terra and Joe have a snack and discuss the consultation. Terra doesn’t really want to go the IVF route. Joe says it’s a way of preventing their child from going through long, painful surgeries. He says he had to go through that. Terra says if they’d done in vitro the first time, they wouldn’t have Penny. Joe says the thing that he loves about her and that also scares him is that Terra goes after what she wants, oblivious of every obstacle. Joe wants to have his back checked out before they move ahead.

Tracy is having and ultrasound and Terra comes along. It’s a boy and Tracy is huge. Terra says Tracy and her husband considered IVF, but decided against it and are having an average sized child.

The doctor comes in and says it’s possible Tracy will be scheduled for delivery today. Both Terra and Tracy are like, what?

No preview for this show.

March 29, 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & More Dubai


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy still talks to Jason like he’s her father. Dillon tells her she’s supposed to rest. Sam and Jason leave. Jason tells Sam that Tracy thinks he’s Edward. Sam explains that Rachel is really Hayden.

Elizabeth tells Hayden to go ahead and stay, humiliate herself even more. She says she can’t wait for Nicholas to throw her lying ass out.

Valerie tells Curtis she crawled through dirt and broke her favorite heels to help him put the Crimson issue together, and she wants her cut. He says not until she agrees to another date.

Jordan tells Andre that reports of Carrrlos being alive just surfaced on the Internet. Andre wonders how Anna feels about that.

Anna accuses Sonny of being the one to leak the story that Carrrlos is still alive. This makes no sense to me, since it wouldn’t benefit him in any way

Dillon comes out and asks Jason what Tracy was talking about. He also asks about Rachel Berlin. Sam tells him that she’s Richard Berlin’s daughter, may or may not have been involved in the greatest ponzi scheme of all time, and that’s who Hayden really is.

Hayden says something to Elizabeth about Lucky and Elizabeth tries to smack her again. Hayden says she’s calling the police and having Elizabeth arrested for assault. I tell her I’ll be a witness.

Andre says he has a group session soon and asks Jordan if she wants to grab a bite to eat. He sees Valerie and Curtis, and says maybe he should have a group session right there.

Sonny says it’s a lot easier to find Carrrlos if he thinks he’s in the clear. Anna says if Sonny didn’t do it, who did?

Ava tells Scotty that the organization is after her because she was working with Paul. Scotty asks what she was thinking and Ava asks if they have attorney-client privilege. She gives him some money as retainer and tells him about Paul having the flash drive and blackmailing her. Now her own people are threatening to kill her, and that’s why she needs Scotty. He asks what he can possibly do.

Anna asks who Sonny told about Carrrlos, but there’s no one who would talk. Ditto for Anna. Sonny says two people come to mind, Julian and Ava. Anna says as far as she knows, they don’t know Carrrlos is alive. She suggests it’s Paul

Ava asks Scotty to move in with her for protection.

Sam wonders how Hayden ended up involved with Tracy. Dillon says her health is his priority right now and goes back into her room. Dillon approaches with caution and Tracy asks why he’s talking to her like she’s a hamster. He asks if she knows who Jason is. She says yes, and she knows who’s President too. Dillon tells her she thought Jason was Edward.

Elizabeth tells her to go ahead, call the cops, and she’ll never see Nicholas again. Hayden says go to hell. Elizabeth says she’d rather hang out with Nicholas, who will no doubt need sympathy. Then she’s going to the cops with a Rachel sighting. Unless Hayden leaves and never sees Nicholas or Spencer again.

Valerie says Curtis has a few bucks, so why don’t they go somewhere better than the diner. He agrees. A masked gunman suddenly comes into Kelly’s. Jordan creates a distraction and Curtis subdues the gunman. They’re like a well-oiled machine and it’s obvious they’ve done this before.

Sonny wonders why Paul would make it public unless he wants Carrrlos dead. Anna said Carrrlos must have decided that he didn’t want to cooperate and was safer on the run. Paul in turn decided he’d be safer without Carrrlos on the loose, since Carrrlos knows too much. Sonny says there are ways to find out what Paul is up to and suggests tapping his phone and bugging his office. He says he wants to get justice for Duke and his son.

Ava says she trusts Scotty. She says he only asked for money in regard to the flash drive, so she knows what kind of man he is. He says he’s not a bodyguard, but she says even just the appearance of it will be good. He asks what’s in it for her and she says money, lots of it.

Tracy says the only real Quartermaines left are Dillon and Ned. Ned comes in asking if he just heard his name.

Hayden is packed and ready to go. She leaves Spencer a note and stops to sniff Nicholas’s sweater. She leaves Windimere and says good by, wonderful new life.

Elizabeth wastes no time in hunting down Nicholas and saying she wants to be there for him. They hug and I retch.

The police come and cart off the gunman. Curtis says it was like old times. Jordan says he loved the work and it’s too bad he blew it. Valerie asks Curtis what really happened when he and Jordan worked together. Curtis ignores the question, and says they can probably get a free meal out of Kelly’s, so maybe they can get it to-go and go back to his place. Hayden walks in, saying she has a flat tire.

Elizabeth tells Nicholas about her threat to Hayden and telling her to take a head start out. Nicholas says he wishes she hadn’t. He talked to Spencer and he’s crazy about her. He says he’s also not ready to let her go.

Tracy argues with Dillon about calling Ned. Ned asks if it would be better if he just wanted to see a medical oddity. She says a little, but the only reason he’s there must be that she’s dying. Ned says he just wants to be there for her. She says not acceptable. He changes it to being concerned about Dillon’s concern.

Jason says he needs to get back the company Nicholas stole. Sam asks why it’s important and he says he owes the Quartermaines that much.

Anna asks Sonny how he knows about Duke’s son and Sonny tells her how they met. She tells Sonny that she told Griff about Carrrlos and she started to get paranoid that he was digging for information. Sonny says Griff told him to forgive Duke’s killer and he seemed sincere. Anna asks if he’s going to follow Griff’s advice.

Sonny says he and Griff bonded over their faith, but the only reason he didn’t have Carrrlos eliminated was so he could testify against Julian. He says it could change if things don’t work out and Anna suggests they stay within the parameters of the law for now. She mentions that Sonny let Ava live, but he says that’s a long way from forgiveness.

Scotty gets his hotel bill and says if he doesn’t pay it, he’ll be evicted tomorrow. Ava asks what happened to the money from the custody case. He says he lost his entire life savings because he invested with Richard Berlin.

Hayden tells Curtis she’s glad he’s there. Andre tells Jordan she was impressive and she says stick with her, it’s always an adventure. He says he’d like just the two of them in a room. She says she makes a mean Coq au Vin. He says he’ll bring the wine.

Curtis asks if someone found out Hayden is Rachel Berlin. She’s surprised he knew all the time. He says he checked her out early on and “If I were in your stilettos I’d want to bounce too.” She says Nicholas must hate her now, but Curtis says not necessarily

Nicholas tells Elizabeth he went into the relationship with his eyes wide open, but it didn’t stop him from falling for Hayden, and he can’t just turn his feelings off. Ah-ha! to Elizabeth in Nelson voice.

Tracy tells Ned about sharing the local delicacies in Mexico with Larry and how she got sick. She says if the treatment wasn’t started early enough, it could kill her. She says she has a deathbed wish. Ned and Dillon protest, and she says she’s not planning to die, but just in case, get back the family legacy.

Jason says he won’t allow Hayden to steal the company. Sam says it sounds like he’s fighting for his family. He says like it or not, he’s one of them. Sam says she knows he doesn’t remember them, but his father and grandfather would be proud.

Sonny says it’s not his first instinct to forgive, it’s to get revenge, but sometimes that can be messy and expensive. Anna says it’s a practical solution then and Sonny says sometimes. Anna wonders if Duke ever learned that lesson. They talk about Duke and Sonny says he feels responsible for his death. Anna says Griff suggested she forgive herself and maybe Sonny should consider it too. Sonny says he appreciates it more than she knows.

Ava tells Scotty it’s not the perfect solution, but it will work. They both agree they could do worse and shake on it.

Hayden says it’s only a matter of time until the world descends on her and without Nicholas she has nothing left in Port Charles. Curtis says she has him. They’re friends and she can get what she wants if she plays her cards right.

Andre leaves for work and Valerie sits down with Jordan. She tells Jordan she likes Curtis and it’s obvious there’s more between them that Jordan didn’t tell her.

Curtis says he doesn’t know Rachel, but he thinks he knows Hayden and she’s not a quitter. He tells her to go back to the castle and be a queen. She says maybe he’s right.

Elizabeth says she’s not going back to Windimere tonight. Nicholas asks her to stay because he doesn’t want to be alone right now. Bleh

Ned and Dillon say they’ll help get ELQ back. Tracy says she knows it’s just a company, but it’s her history. She asks them both to stay because she doesn’t want to die alone.

Jason says ELQ isn’t just about money, it’s about family. Sam says the Quartermaines are lucky to have him. He says he’s lucky to have her. Well, neither one of them is really Lucky. BA DUM CHHH!

Tomorrow, Kiki wants to know where Morgan is, Carly asks Sonny what he’s going to do about Carrrlos, and Alexis reads Kristina’s journal.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Rusty hears Randal saying something about his and Alex’s son and runs over to his house. Louise tells Randal to get inside. Rusty asks what Randal is talking about and what the sign is on his lawn. Randal says his son is Rusty’s grandson. He adds he’ll do everything in his power to keep the baby and Alex away from Rusty’s backwater ass.

Rusty tells him to take the sign down. Randal laughs and says Rusty doesn’t want the world to know he has a little Black grandson. He says according to the state Rusty is from, one drop of African American blood makes him a “negro.” Rusty runs back to the house.

Rusty asks Alex’s mother where the baby is and she says Alex left with him. He asks if Randal is lying, but she avoids the question, telling him to calm down. He asks where the gun is and she says she left it at the house. He asks if the baby is Black and she says yes. He asks where Alex went, but her mother says she and Brad can’t find her. Rusty insists Alex must have been raped by Randal.

Brad tells him to get out. Rusty says to call the law because someone is going to die. He asks what kind of man Brad is to let Alex be raped. Brad says he’s losing patience. Rusty says he brought him there because he couldn’t be a man and handle things himself. Brad says Alex and Randal had an affair. He says it was a mistake to invite them and now he wants them to leave. Rusty asks where Alex is and Brad tells him to get out like a thousand times. Brad says Rusty is the only rapist there.

Brad starts to punch Rusty out and Alex’s mother draws a gun. She tells Brad to lay off and grabs Rusty. They leave. Apparently without taking their belongings.

Kelly pulls up at her house where Ramses is mowing the lawn. He says he thinks he heard a gunshot, but Kelly says not in this neighborhood. He says he thinks it came from Brad’s house. Kelly asks him if he’s sure. He says yes, and she starts toward Brad’s, but Ramses says he’ll go over.

Ramses knocks on Brad’s door and asks if everything is okay. Brad asks Kelly if she’s seen Alex. She says not since the hospital. Kelly says Ramses thought he heard a gunshot. Brad explains what happened and says Alex’s mother shot at him. I guess I’m the only one who didn’t hear this. Kelly tells him he shouldn’t have brought them there. He says his plan backfired and he knows he did wrong. Kelly tells him it’s gone way too far. He asks Kelly to let him know if she calls or if she sees Alex.

Ramses asks what that was all about and Kelly tells him drama she wants no part of. They go into Kelly’s house.

Marcie calls Brad. She says he doesn’t sound too good. She tells him she’s in the new place and asks if he’s still in. He says yes. She says she saw Rusty and that it couldn’t have gone well. Brad says it was like an explosion, but they’re gone now. She asks if he’s still in “the rage,” and he’s vague. He says he just has to pack a bag and then he’ll be over.

Esperanza calls Eddie, who is obviously having sex, even though thankfully we don’t see it. She asks when he’s coming back to work and if he gave her back her house keys. He says he did. She asks if he’s enjoying himself and if she’s any good. He pretends not to know what she’s talking about and says he’s at work. He says even if he did have a girl over, what difference would it make? She says because he’s in her house.

He acts like she’s nuts, but then she walks in and tells him to get out. The girl jets, but Eddie says it’s his house; he paid for it. Esperanza says do it again and see what happens, and then tells him again to get out. Ben comes in and Esperanza tells him Eddie is going to drag him down with him and tells them both to get out. That was actually pretty funny when she walked in.

Natalie tells Joey to take the trash out. Joey tells her she knows she’s wrong about Lushion. He says if he was a dirty cop, he would know. Joey says he’s not still hanging out with a bad crowd, but he’d know because he asked around. He says Eddie is dirty, but Lu is clean. He says he took her home approval out of the trash and she shouldn’t let anything keep her from her dreams.

Natalie looks at the approval letter. She leaves for work, telling Joey to feed his siblings when they get home from school.

Julius is in Randal’s office and asks Randal if he has information. Randal says he spoke to Julius’s father. Julius asks what this is about and if his father thinks he’s crazy. Randal says no, but Julius says he must since he’s having him talk to a shrink. Randal is so crazy, I always forget that’s his job. Randal says he thinks Julius is angry because his father wasn’t around much during Julius’s childhood. In true shrink fashion, he asks how that made Julius feel. Julius says like he wasn’t there. Randal asks if he felt lonely. Julius says when he was four, he killed a bird every day when his father didn’t come home, and the longest was a year. When his mother found out, she sent him to boarding school.

Again, Randal asks how that made him feel. Julius says angry and it made him do things he never thought he’d do. He started raping girls, following them home and sneaking in the windows. He says he got addicted to that and then to cocaine and mutilating animals. A budding serial killer. He says he also started cutting himself and shows Randal his wienie saying he circumcised himself. Seriously, this guy needs to be locked up.

Julius says he’s not crazy. Randal and his father are crazy. Randal says no one thinks that. Julius asks if he’s turned on. Randal says sorry, but that would be a no. Randal wants to talk about the birds, but Julius wants to talk about the rapes. He starts to cry and Randal asks what he’s feeling. He’s faking and says Randal and his father are a couple of idiots. He was lying and his mother was wonderful and always there, so he never felt neglected.

Julius says this is his father’s way of trying to keep him out of his will. He says Randal won’t see another day if he causes a problem. He asks if they’re done. Randal asks if he’d like them to be done and Julius says yes. He tells Randal to tell his father he’s fine and Randal says he will. Julius leaves. A-hole.

Kelly asks Ramses how much she owes him for mowing her lawn. He says dinner. He asks if she wants to do it and she’s like, what? but he means the mowing and dinner deal. Kelly says he’s not going to be there that long and she doesn’t want to get attached to him. He says it’s just dinner and she’s a gravity chick — she falls hard. She asks if he’s a player, since he has no wife and kids. Then she asks if he’s gay. He says yes, and she says she knew it. He says not really and why doesn’t she just say what she wants to say? Kelly asks why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He says he had a girl, but she left him because of the military; the time away was too much, and he’s been cautious ever since. He adds that she shouldn’t judge people, but she says she’s just curious. He says the best way for them to get their questions answered is dinner.

He says he might be there longer than she thinks, since he hasn’t heard from Marcie. Kelly says she has other realtors for him. He says he doesn’t think Marcie is doing well. She says there’s drama going on. They flirt a little.

They go out the back door and Alex is there with the baby. Ramses brings her inside.

Alex is crying and Kelly asks if Brad tried to hurt her. She says to please go get her other children. She says she’s sorry and Kelly asks her what’s happening. Alex says she heard a gunshot and asks if Brad is okay. Kelly says yes, and Alex tells her about her father. Kelly says Brad told Alex’s parents to leave.

There’s a knock at the door and Alex hides. It’s Brad. He says he can’t find Alex anywhere and if she sees Alex to tell her that he’s left and he’s not coming back. He asks Kelly to please help find her. The baby starts crying and Brad tries to force his way into the house, but Ramses subdues him. He tells Brad to relax and lets him up. He says he wants to talk to Alex and Ramses says she doesn’t want to talk to him. Brad calls out that her parents have gone and he’s sorry. He asks that she please talk to him.

Alex comes out with the baby and Brad apologizes ten times. He says he shouldn’t have brought her parents there and it was a mistake. He says he’s leaving and promises he won’t bother her. He tosses his keys on the table and says he’ll call about seeing the kids. Alex says nothing and just cries quietly. Brad says he’s sorry again and leaves.

At the station, Claudia sees Lushion. She says he looks stressed and asks if it’s getting to him. He says yes, and she says her too. She talks about all the rookies that have been killed and asks how Pete is. He says it’s too soon to tell. She says let’s get some beers. Lushion says that’s not a good idea. She says he can talk to her any time, but he says she should keep her distance. She ignores the warning and gives him her number. He says it’s not a good idea and Natalie, who has come up behind him, says she doesn’t think so either.

Next week, Alex’s other kids ask why the baby is tan, Brad says he wants Marcie, and Randal says he’s going to ruin Marcie’s life.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I just have to start by saying shame on these women. What most of us wouldn’t give to have a vacation like this, and they’re going to spend it arguing — about nonsense.

Kyle and LisaV go to a place where you can swim with sea lions. The suits are like diving suits and very hard to get into. Eileen and Erika go to an aquarium, and Kathryn and LisaR go to the spa. It would be hard to choose. Like the kid in Scrooge said, I can’t have none of ‘em, so I might as well like all of ‘em.

The sea lions are flipping all around and one comes up and they all pet it. Lisa just about goes out of her mind. They get sea lion kisses and she wants to take one home.

Eileen and Erika discuss LisaR’s feeling of being enraged in seeing Yolanda’s photo with Kim and Brandy. Erika says the word enraged is strong and I agree, but I think Lisa doesn’t really know the meaning of a lot of words.

LisaR is also discussing it with Kathryn, who says Yolanda feels judged.

Eileen and LisaR get together for coffee in Lisa’s room. The view is amazing and Lisa tells her about the spa day. Eileen says Erika doesn’t understand the enraged business. Eileen says she thinks Lisa really meant she was just upset. That was a nice way of saying what I did, she doesn’t use words properly.

Eileen brings up LisaV and that people are having a problem saying how they feel. They both have fabulous earrings on and it’s really taking my attention away. Lisa says she’s more open with Eileen because she feels safe with her, and she doesn’t get why she has to share her deepest feelings with everyone. Eileen says she isn’t as brave with a group and she retreats.

The ladies go out to the desert, passing the world’s tallest building. I can’t believe their as dressed up a they are. They pull over and some dude gives them head scarves. They get into a jeep and drive into the desert. Yikes! It’s like a roller coaster ride and I don’t think these girls are wearing seat belts.

They get to this spot that has a bunch of pillows where they sit and have juice drinks. A falconer is there to give them a demonstration with his falcon, Gizmo. LisaV asks if she can pet it and the guy says after he’s done eating. (The falcon, not the guy.) Everyone gets their picture taken holding the falcon. It does look pretty cool.

Next is an Arabian Nights Dinner. They go to an outdoor spot. There are camels hanging out and a henna lady. Kyle goes to get a tattoo. It’s a dry night — they don’t explain why — so they can’t have any alcohol. They’re given some drink that they love until they find out it has camel milk in it. Please. That’s as bad as my husband who loved moo shu pork until he found out it had mushrooms in it. A woman does some dancing and they join her.

The head waiter, or whatever he is, lists the menu. Everyone passes on the camel meat except for Kathryn. Yeah, I’d pass too, especially when there’s three of them sitting there. She says it’s gamey, but good. LisaV jokes that there’s only two camels now. LisaR brings up the Yolanda thing. Erika says she thought that was over and asks why Lisa was “enraged” by the picture. She asks if Lisa likes Yolanda. She says they need some time.

LisaR asks what Erika thinks of her. Erika says she likes her more than when she first met her because she has trust issues. Lisa asks if Erika judges people and Erika says no. Lisa says when she saw Erika’s video, she judged a book by it’s cover. Saying what I’m thinking, Erika says Lisa posed for Playboy — twice. Eileen thinks she’s avoiding talking about Yolanda. Lisa says she wishes Erika would open up more, but Erika says she doesn’t think so.

The head waiter brings out a hookah. Erika tells LisaR that she wishes she and Yolanda would be friends. Lisa says she feels that Yolanda’s illness keeps her from being honest. Everyone smokes. What the blip is a hookah anyway? I understand a water pipe, but don’t get this hookah stuff.

LisaR takes LisaV aside. She asks her about her asking why she didn’t bring Kyle up in regard to the Munchhausen thing. LisaV says she didn’t say that; she said she wondered why she hadn’t dragged them all into it. LisaR says no one is owning up to anything, but LisaV says she never said anything about Munchhausen. In her individual interview, LisaR says she realized LisaV was lying to her. I dunno. It’s not important enough for me to have actually retained the exact conversation, but the first time I heard Munchhausen, it was from LisaR.

The next day they go to the market downtown. They find some shoes that they recognize from Sex in the City and get excited. They try to barter, but none of them are very good at it. It’s Kathryn’s birthday the next day, so they talk about that. Kathryn tries on a caftan and there’s a roach on it, and she goes crazy. Obviously not a New Yorker. LisaR asks Eileen if they can talk later, since no one can let anything go. They go over their bargains on the way home. Erika gives Karhryn a birthday present. She says it’s not her real present, it’s her bs present. It’s a souvenir replica of the tallest building.

LisaR, Kathryn and Kyle have dinner while the others take a nap. Lisa has to bring up talking to LisaV and Munchhausen and bringing Kyle into it. Kyle says she already knew all about that. Kyle says she already over it with LisaV and she thinks that Lisa does care about her regardless. She doesn’t want to continue to rehash it because she’s enjoying their friendship.

LisaR says no one calls LisaV on anything. Kyle says she’s not as strong as everyone thinks. LisaR says it’s no excuse to lie.

LisaR tells Eileen about LisaV changing what she said. Eileen says it’s frustrating because no one backs her up on LisaV’s lack of accountability. Maybe it’s me, but I think this point is being belabored. LisaR tells Eileen about what Kyle told her. Eileen says she can’t believe Kyle knew LisaV tried to throw her under the bus. LisaR says that LisaV doesn’t like Yolanda and that’s why she tried to get her to talk about Yolanda. Again, I dunno about that, but why is this necessary on such an amazing vacation?

Erika tells her glam squad about the bug on Kathryn’s dress. Dubai realness at its finest. Kathryn comes by and thank God they don’t talk about anything deep.

They go to a private outdoor spot for dinner. I want to cry because I know another argument is coming. I guess it’s no longer dry time because the ladies all get a cocktail. LisaV isn’t there yet, so LisaR has to say how horrified she was to notice LisaV lying. Erika says that LisaR is living in the past and she wants to get to know her today.

LisaV and Kyle join the group. LisaV says she’s obviously being ignored. Kyle says they’re going to the mall tomorrow and gives them the rules. No swearing, no talking about sex, and dressing appropriately. Good luck with this and get the bail money ready.

Eileen prods LisaR to sh*t stir. LisaR tells LisaV she rewrote the truth. LisaR asks her why she told her to bring Kyle into the Munchhausen convo. LisaV says she didn’t say that. She says she told her that she was glad she didn’t involve all of them. Kyle says that LisaV told her she was glad LisaR didn’t bring her into it. Erika is like wtf? can we have a drink, ride a camel, anything but fight? What a concept.

Eileen gets involved. LisaR says the truth is the truth and she’s not the only one going down for this. Whatta gangsta. LisaR says that she became the scapegoat when LisaV and Kyle were already talking about Yolanda’s illness. But neither one of them ever did use the Munchhausen word. That was LisaR. Eileen gets a squeaky voice and says that she can’t believe Kyle thinks this is all okay and it’s just the way LisaV is. Kyle says maybe it seems weird, but she knows LisaV loves her. She says she loves LisaV and takes the good with the bad. Kyle starts to cry and says maybe it’s because she has bigger problems, but she doesn’t care. I don’t care because it’s unimportant nonsense.

LisaR says LisaV changed the story. Kathryn doesn’t think either one of them is lying. Eileen brings up the Hamptons. Geez. LisaV asks what it was that was so offensive. Eileen tells her that asking when her affair with Vince started was hurtful. She says Lisa only apologized for asking too many questions, even though Eileen wasn’t exactly specific at the time. She’d only said Lisa was prying. Eileen tells her just learn to say you’re sorry.

Kathryn thinks it’s a cultural difference and LisaV’s apology didn’t come with the warm fuzzies that Eileen wants. I tend to agree. In her individual interview, LisaR says she lost respect for LisaV. They both say they have respect for one another at the table, so what up wit dat, LisaR? LisaV says she’s had enough, but Kyle makes her stay.

LisaR says they’re not coming from a bad place, just being honest. LisaV says she doesn’t feel like she can say anything. LisaR says she’s not the victim. Erika says obviously LisaV isn’t going to give LisaR the response she wants, so why don’t they move on?

Next week, the girls visit the mall of my dreams, we get to see the tallest building, Yolanda has a picnic with Brandi and Kim, and there’s more arguing.

March 28, 2016 — GH & the NeverEnding Reunion


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy wants to see Finn immediately. Obrecht says Dr.Mays is the best. Tracy says he misdiagnosed her and she wants Finn.

Finn’s phone is ringing but he’s busy doing meditation. Dillon leaves a message asking him to come to the hospital. Obrecht says until he’s fully vetted, he can’t practice there. She says her first priority is the patients. Tracy says then give her what she wants.

Ava is on the phone, saying things aren’t safe right now. She says not from Sonny, but someone else. Paul comes up behind her.

Laura tells Elizabeth about the textbook. Elizabeth says steer clear of the living room; all hell is breaking loose.

Not really, but Nicholas is pretty miffed. Hayden says it hasn’t taken away the love and happiness they’ve had. He says all he knows is that she’s not the woman he married, but a stranger.

Dammit! Breaking news about a lock-down in the capital. The shooter is in custody, so what else do we need to know? It sounds like a garden variety nutjob. Terrorists usually don’t send in a lone gunman. Please go away and don’t come back until 4.

Finn comes to the hospital. Tracy says she’ll be cured and released by the time Obrecht gets the paperwork together.

Paul tells Ava it’s been a long time (like 2 days) and Ava says not long enough. He asks if he can do anything for her and she says yeah, give her the recording. He’s not going to do that. She says because of him she has a target on her back..

Jason asks Sam out on a kidless date. She says it sounds good, but right now, she has to work. Jason says she must be getting paid a lot. She says not at all. Her client told her to let it go, but she can’t.

Nicholas says Hayden took advantage of him. Where? She says she’s the same person she was when she married him. He says no she’s not, and he wonders what else she’s lying about. She says he of all people should understand wanting to escape the past. He says that’s a fantasy and it’s impossible.

Elizabeth tells Laura about Hayden really being Rachel Berlin. She says Hayden was just looking for another payday. Laura says Nicholas has convinced himself he’s in love with her and she’s concerned he’ll overlook the whole thing. Elizabeth says it’s time Hayden was dealt with the only way she understands and she’s calling the police. Laura says that’s a bad idea,since Nicholas has done worse to Hayden than she did to him. Oh yeah, that pesky murder contract.

Ava says when Paul gave her immunity, she was marked as a rat. Paul says it wasn’t his intention to harm her, and that it was the quickest way to absolve her of the gun running. She tells Paul to leave her alone, that she has it under control. He says no, she doesn’t.

Jason guesses that Sam’s client was Nicholas. She says why would she do something for him, but Jason isn’t buying it, so she says it’s really for Spencer. She asks Jason if he wants to be a partner. He balks at that, and she says the offer is on the table if he changes his mind.

Tracy asks why she wasn’t told her condition was fatal. Finn says in less developed countries, it’s a death sentence. He says if it’s caught early enough, it can be treated, and they’re just making it. He says he’d be remiss not to apprise her of the worst case scenario.

Elizabeth says Hayden doesn’t remember, but Laura says the police might open up a can of worms and investigate her shooting. She says it’s Nicholas’s decision and they have to respect that. Like Elizabeth has every respected anyone’s decisions except her own.

Hayden says she should have trusted Nicholas, but she was afraid when he heard the truth, she’d lose him. He says she’s been working to take everything away from him and Spencer. She says he lied to Sam for months about Jason. He says he was trying to protect Elizabeth. Hayden says no, he was trying to protect his bank account, when she was just trying to make a fresh start. She says what he did was worse and suggests he’s lying to her right now.

Paul tells Ava to take his protection. She says they worked well when things were simpler, but he wasn’t who she thought he was. He says they should get to know one another again. He says she’ll land on her feet.

Finn tells Tracy to rest. He says the medication is working, but her immune system is still compromised until the treatment is finished. Monica walks Finn out. She apologizes for Tracy. Obrecht comes by and asks Finn to come to her office.

Sam and Jason come to the hospital with Danny. Monica says she’d like to visit and asks if they’d like to take a turn monitoring Tracy. She says she’s just kidding, but Jason says if she wants, he’ll do it.

Hayden says just because Nicholas hears something from Elizabeth, he believes it. Nicholas says he’s going to the MetroCourt to clear his head, he wants this wrapped up before Spencer comes back from spring break.

Sam and Jason go in to visit Tracy. Sam talks about the magazine and Tracy asks Dillon why he didn’t bring her a copy. Sam gets a call and has to leave.

Elizabeth asks where Nicholas is. Hayden says gone and she must be disappointed because she didn’t get a front row seat. Elizabeth says she guesses Hayden wants to be by herself, so she’ll catch up with Nicholas later. Hayden grabs her arm and tells her she’s not going anywhere.

Paul asks about Kiki. Ava says she’s getting better all the time. He says if she needs anything, don’t hesitate to call. Ava says she actually believes that he’s being sincere, but he should concentrate on his own family.

Obrecht says Finn should remove himself until they get the paperwork. Finn says no thanks, but he’ll be happy to let the board know the disregard for patient care.

Jason is left with Tracy and tries to make small talk. He suggests the pudding. Tracy says the pudding is his legacy. She says when he was in the hospital the last time, he complained about the lackluster pudding and Monica had Cook give them her recipe.

Hayden says Elizabeth can’t stand not controlling all the men in her life. She wants to destroy their hopes of happiness unless they involve her. Elizabeth says she’s forgotten more things about Nicholas than Hayden can even knows. She says he keeps searching for the same woman that he once loved and only comes up with substitutes to share his bed until the right woman comes along.

Nicholas asks Sam to go back on the case. He tells Sam who Hayden really is. He says she swears she wasn’t trying to con him. Sam asks if he thinks that’s the truth and he says he doesn’t know, that’s why he wants Sam to look into it. She suggests he call the police and he says he doesn’t want Hayden anywhere near the police.

Laura tells Scotty about the book she found. She asks if he would know why Helena had it. He says after he and Laura fell apart, he sold his textbooks, but he doesn’t know how Helena would have gotten ahold of it. Laura tells him about how Helena said she’d find what what she loved and lost. He says she’s cracked the riddle and he’s the solution.

Scotty suggests Laura loved and lost him, so case closed. She says they had one than more chance, so that’s a no. He can’t come up with anything else, so she shows him the letters circled in the book and asks if he did that. He says no way, and she says maybe it’s some kind of code.

Obrecht asks if Finn would have the hospital shut down because of one patient. He says that Tracy could have died and talks about Dr. Mays blowing Griff off when he tried to help. Obrecht says it’s an isolated incident and Finn says he’ll be back later to check on his patient.

Paul asks Dillon how Tracy is. He says she’s doing better. Paul says she really doesn’t want to see him and Dillon says he’ll get him a visit somehow.

Ava makes a call saying she has a proposition.

Nicholas says they know Hayden lied about who she is, but doesn’t know if she’s lying about their relationship. Sam says the longer they wait, the longer Nicholas can be exposed.

Hayden says she’s not a placeholder and Nicholas will be back. She says she’s not leaving

Tracy says she knows the pecking order, and she’s at the end of it. Suddenly, she calls Jason “daddy” and says they’ll get ELQ back and he’ll be proud of her. Jason says he’s already proud of her. She says if she can’t get it back, she’ll have to go to Jason, but she has a secret weapon named Rachel.

Ava meets Scotty.

Laura tries to crack the letter code.

Nicholas looks out the window and broods.

Obrecht tells Monica that Dr. Finn will be cleared by tomorrow.

Finn gives himself a shot in the arm. We have no idea with what.

Dillon comes back to Tracy’s room and Jason asks him to get a nurse or doctor. He says they’re having a little confusion. Jason asks who Rachel is, and Sam says otherwise known as Hayden.

Elizabeth says Nicholas is only her friend and Hayden is just mad because she lost him all on her own, and Hayden is incapable of honesty. Hayden says the only man Elizabeth had a chance with was Nicholas, so she wouldn’t let something like marriage get in the way. She tells Elizabeth to find someone else to add to her illegitimate brood. Elizabeth slaps her across the face. Press charges!

Tomorrow, Scotty asks what he can do for Ava, Finn tends to Tracy, and a masked gunman comes into Kelly’s.

Vanderpump Rules — The Reunion, Part Two

Yay! It’s those crazy kids from SUR, back again for part two of a reunion of people who see each other every day.

Andy talks about Gay Pride Day and James showing up with the hell scratched out of him. And it wasn’t from a drag queen. Kristen looks like she’s going to laugh and throw up at the same time. Lala says he deliberately tried to embarrass and disrespect her, especially since it was Lauren who she’d been confiding in. Why Lala is still attracted to this d-bag is beyond me. Lisa is like, this is what I have to deal with.

Andy asks if James’s rivalry with Jax has anything to do with his pursuit of Lala. He says no, but really? Tom says Jax and James are a lot alike. Why does James look like he’s going to cry? Or maybe he’s stoned.

They talk about Katie and Schwartz getting engaged. Katie says it was everything. It was pretty cool how he set it up and fooled her. Andy asks how much longer he would have had if he hadn’t proposed and she says they were about at the end. Scheana says she told him to make sure Katie was looking good that night. They talk about Katie and Schwartz’s sex life and I go, la-la-la! with my fingers in my ears.

Andy asks when Tom and Ariana are getting married, but Ariana doesn’t want to. Tom says it’s like reverse psychology.

Brittany joins the group. She’d never seen Vanderpump Rules before dating Jax and only knew Lisa from the Wives. She didn’t Google him either. Andy asks how uncomfortable his horrible reputation is, but Brittany shrugs it off. She says they clicked in a way she hadn’t felt before. Andy asks Jax what was so special about Brittany that he dropped his harem and he gives her a bunch of compliments. Scheana says she’s glad Brittany didn’t listen to their warnings, since she’s an amazing friend.

They talk about Brittany’s boob job and we flash back to the discussions about that. They’ve also moved from the studio apartment. Andy asks if it bothers Brittany that Jax takes a dump with the door open and I go, la-la-la! again.

The non-internship as sangria ambassadors with Schwartz and Tom comes up. We see the meeting where they had no idea of what place they should even have in the company. Katie says she was miffed because of Schwartz’s lack of commitment to things.

They talk about Scheana drifting apart from Ariana and closer to Katie. Andy asks if Scheana is Ariana’s best friend and Ariana says she doesn’t really like that term. Neither do I. Katie says Ariana was kind of a downer this season. Ariana says it’s hard to come around when everyone is throwing shade every five minutes. Ariana says it’s a toxic environment and it blows her mind that the others don’t notice. Well, they’re minds are probably too crowded with thoughts of themselves. Duh.

Andy asks for a show of hands as to who thinks therapy has changed Kristen. Everyone is positive, except Ariana says it’s changed her knowledge of how to behave around other people. They talk about the Hawaii trip. Tom says the point is, when they were planning the trip, he was attacked about why he didn’t want his ex-girlfriend going. He says Jax had no problem with her not going until everyone else jumped on the Kristen bandwagon.

They talk about the texts that Scheana sent to Ariana’s mom about Tom. Ariana was pretty pissed about that. They go over the texts which Ariana has handy. Lisa has to remind everyone not to curse. Ariana says that her mother believed the texts for a while. Scheana insists that her mother was concerned, but even Ariana’s mother later said that wasn’t the case. Scheana said she already apologized. Lisa says with everything Scheana had going on with Shay, how would she have felt if Ariana texted her mother? Lala says she would be pissed for sure. Everyone starts talking at once.

Andy stirs the pot about the toplessness in Hawaii. He asks why Katie was so offended. She says she wasn’t offended by the boobs, but by Lala’s behavior. Lala says something juvenile. Schwartz steps in and says Katie is a free thinker, but she didn’t like it being flaunted. Andy asks Brittany if it bothered her. Brittany says she already didn’t have the best opinion of Lala and thought it was just an attention grabber. Yep. Lala says Katie should have approached her if she had a problem. Lisa is like, I didn’t see anyone with a top on for 20 years in Europe.

They go over Jax flirting with Lala and telling her Brittany wasn’t coming to some dinner they were at. Brittany says she wasn’t too happy about the whole thing. Brittany says she just wanted to know what was going on, since she was turning her whole life upside down for him. Lala says the worst thing was Jax lying right to her face. Brittany defends her defense of Jax at the time, saying she didn’t know Lala at all. Lala says if they’d wanted to sleep together, they would have, and Jax says it didn’t happen, so let’s drop it.

Andy says he’s sure Jax is tired of telling the story, but what was up with the sunglasses? Jax says it was the last day, they went on a booze cruise, he went through a store on his way back and grabbed the glasses. He says they hunted him down and he thought just giving the sunglasses back would make everything okay. Andy asks what Jax has been arrested for in the past. He says he’s been in jail about five times, but not for anything major, just stupid stuff. Andy asks Lisa why she didn’t fire Jax. She says she didn’t want to kick him when he was down. James brings up Jax stealing from the restaurant, like he doesn’t wolf down free liquor.

Jax says he’s far from perfect and needs guidance. Tom says he needs to remember the past guilt before he does the next idiotic thing. Jax says he has a wonderful girlfriend now and has changed his stance on marriage…somewhat. Tom says maybe he can steal Brittany a wedding ring. Ha-ha! Brittany says they bring out the best in each other, and even I have to admit, she makes Jax a better person. Brittany exits, and it’s time for Stassi to make an appearance.

They go over the work Stassi’s had done. Andy asks how it was coming back. She pretty quickly tells James she hopes he watched his own scenes because the way he talks to women is despicable. James says his temper just leads him to have a nasty mouth and that he aspires to be a gentleman. Stassi says if he doesn’t acknowledge what he’s doing is wrong, he’ll never change. He smack talks Kristen and she says being in the same room is making her skin crawl.

Andy brings up that when Stassi was last there, she never wanted to see any of them again, yet she humbled herself when she came back. She says she realized how much hatred and anger she had, and that she was only hurting herself. Jax says she went after Kristen first because Kristen is the weakest link.

Andy brings up Stassi crashing on Kristen’s couch and Tom says the timing was interesting. Stassi says no matter what she says, he finds fault. Tom says it doesn’t have to do with bashing her, but he’s protective of his friends. Lisa interjects that just because an apology happens, that doesn’t mean the hurt goes away. She says that she believes if the show wasn’t happening, none of them would have heard from Stassi again. Everyone agrees.

Andy says Lisa had concerns about Stassi coming back. She says at first she thought Stassi was being genuine, but in watching the show, she realized that it was disingenuous. She says as soon as the cameras were rolling, she trash talked Lisa. Andy asks if she feels like she owes Lisa anything and Stassi says respect. Lisa asks about the opportunities she was presented with. Lisa says she begged Stassi not to walk away from everyone the way she did.

Next week, The Reunion Part Three, Katie and Schwartz argue, Scheana talks about old feelings, James calls everyone a-holes and Andy wonders why was Stassi’s sex tape was only worth $900.

March 27, 2016 — A Mutiny, a Debate, a Reunion, the Dead & the Wives


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time
Henry takes off with Cruella in the coolest car ever. Her license plate says DeVIL and I feel really, really stupid because in all these years, I never realized her last name spells devil. Henry makes her stop near a forest. Cruella isn’t interested in tromping around in her heels, so she tells Henry to go ahead. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice stops Henry. He tells Henry it would be a mistake to resurrect Cruella. He says Henry should only record the stories, not create them. The sorcerer says the quill is protected by a powerful spell and the sheriff has the key. He tells Henry he trusts him to make the right choice.

Emma tends to Hook’s wounds. He says she went into the darkness for love, but he did it for revenge and doesn’t measure up to her. She asks if he wants to stay in the Underworld. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Hook’s older brother, Liam.

We flash back to Hook and his brother working as indentured servants on a ship. Liam suggests they join the Royal Navy when they’re finished. The captain comes by and kicks some crap onto the deck that they have to clean up. He tells them only Liam can go collect their money, which will be paid to him. Liam says he’ll be back and they’ll be free by sunrise.

Hook says the only way out of the Underworld is to defeat Hades. He asks Liam if he has any knowledge from being there so long. Liam says he’s heard about a book from people who have tried to overthrow Hades. He says he’s in on the mutiny.

Snow and David look for the book. Liam asks to talk to Emma. He tells her Hook blames himself for being there, but Liam thinks it’s Emma’s fault. He says Hook had the chance to die a hero and she took it from him. She asks if he was this self-righteous while he was alive. He says when it comes to his brother, yes, and if she really loves him, she’ll let him go.

Hook and Emma start looking for the book. Henry says he thinks he knows where it is, but they need the key from the sheriff, who is also David’s evil twin, James.

Back on the old ship, Liam returns and the captain says only he can leave. Hook took the captain up on his offer of a drink and ended up gambling his half of the money away. The captain says Liam should just leave the dead weight behind him. Hook says he can’t be the brother that Liam deserves. Liam says come hell or high water, he can’t leave his brother.

Hades is in the bar where Liam is bartender. Hades says he knows about the mutiny. Liam asks what he wants. Hades says he wants the book destroyed, or at least the pages he’s on. He says the sorcerer’s house doesn’t like him very much, so he needs Liam to get it.

Snow and David break into the sheriff’s office. They get the key, but hear Cruella coming in. Snow jets out and David pretends to be his brother. Cruella has brought champagne and says momma has had a long day.

Emma asks Regina what she thinks of Liam. Regina realizes Liam doesn’t like Emma. Emma says he doesn’t think she’s good enough for Hook. Regina says he the type who doesn’t forgive himself.

Henry, Hook. Liam and Emma take the key to the sorcerer’s house.

On the old ship, a storm is brewing and the ship is going right into it. Hook tries to tell the captain they should change course, or they’ll face a hurricane. The captain says there’s a reward for the ship that goes inside the hurricane, so too bad, they’re staying on course. Liam and Hook stage a mutiny. Hook asks if it’s going to be the easy way or the bloody way and the captain surrenders. Liam tells Hook to tie them up while he goes to get the captain’s maps and whatever.

The sorcerer isn’t a very good housekeeper. There are cobwebs everywhere. Emma tells Henry to be the lookout while they look for the book.

Liam finds the book. While alone, he turns to the pages with Hades in them, and rips them out, saying he’s sorry to his brother.

Cruella is sitting on David’s lap, trying to ply him with champagne. Finally he has enough and asks her if his brother really goes for this nonsense. Cruella says she’d hoped he’d pretended a while longer. She says she knew he wasn’t James because although he looks like James, he doesn’t have James’s “delicious damage,” the damage David is responsible for.

The Storybrooke gang realizes the pages with Hades are gone. Regina says she took her pages out when she didn’t want Henry to know she was the evil queen. Liam pretends like he didn’t know the pages were missing and says maybe they fell out somewhere. They go off to look.

Emma tells Hook something is up with Liam, but he blows her off, thinking it’s just because of Liam’s attitude toward Emma.

Hades shows up in the midst of the storm. Liam is in the captain’s quarters and Hades says he can help him. He says Liam’s dreams of the King’s Navy are over. Liam asks how he would know about that and Hades shows his blue, fiery hair. Liam says he’s a demon. Hades says technically he’s a god, but a lot of people make that mistake. Liam draws his sword. Hades promises if Liam allows the ship to be sunk, he’ll spare Liam and his brother. He says he’ll also give him a rare gem stone. Hades says it will fulfill all of Liam’s dreams.

Liam ditches the pages in a well. Emma comes by and he claims he’s getting some air. Emma tells him that he’s Hook’s hero and wonders why he lied to Hook. Hook comes by and Emma says Liam has the pages. She says he’s been hiding his hands since she got there and tells Liam to show Hook his hands. Hook says he doesn’t care. His fate isn’t in Storybrooke, it should be determined there. Emma says no matter how many times people tell him he’s good enough, he doesn’t listen. She leaves.

Liam shows Hook his hands and they have ink on them. Hook asks why Liam lied. The ship’s crew comes out of the woods and the captain says that Liam has to pay for what he did to them.

Back on the old ship, they’re in the middle of the storm. Liam gives Hook his lucky ring, saying that’s how sure he is, and takes the wheel. Hook makes a speech about trusting Liam with his life.

In the Underworld, Hook asks what this has to do with the missing pages. The captain says Liam isn’t the hero he pretends to be. He says he saw Hades visiting him at the bar and says he traded their souls for the eye of the storm. The guys take Hook and Liam to the edge of the precipice above the Lake of Fire, and the captain tells them to walk the plank. Liam asks them to spare Hook, but that’s a no. Liam tells Hook sorry he failed.

Hades shows up asking if someone decided to have a party without inviting him. Bye, captain! Hades says only one of them kept the bargain with him. Liam tells him to spare Hook and that he had nothing to do with it. Hades says too bad and over the edge Liam goes. Hook grabs his hand, but Liam says to forgive him and lets go. Hades says Liam will pay for this and disappears poof! in a cloud of blue smoke. I guess his sacrifice spared Hook.

Liam is in a little boat and drifts up to Hook. Liam says this is what he should have done in the first place. Hook tells all the men they’re free now and to get in the boat. He says his unfinished business isn’t done yet. Liam says to tell Emma he was wrong and that she does want what’s best for Hook. The brothers say good-by and Liam sails away.

In the old days, Liam and Hook wash up on shore. Some soldiers from the Royal Navy find them. The captain says if they went into the storm, they deserve what they got. Liam produces the stone and the captain sings a different tune, saying he’s a hero. His ship will take them to the king. Liam says he’s going to ask the king about a Navy position and the captain says they can do that right there.

Hook tells Emma what happened, and how she was right about Liam, but he sacrificed himself. Hook says he saw the truth that he is good enough for Emma. They kiss.

Henry pokes around the sorcerer’s place. He finds the quill and some ink. The others are still combing the book, but the pages with Hades are gone. David finds Henry upstairs and asks what’s up. Henry says he doesn’t want to talk about it. David says he learned that his twin brother resented him his whole life. He says he wanted what David had, a family and tells Henry that his family is pretty great. Henry asks him not to make it a lesson.

Henry shows the others the quill. He tells them about Cruella and how he almost helped her with it. He says he realized how much power he has and wanted to be the hero rather than the one rescued. He says he knows better now and is going to write the stories as they are. They wonder what Hades is trying to hide from them.

Hades finds the pages from the book and looks through them. He comes to a picture of him and Celena. He says their secret is safe.

Next week, Celena visits Hades and a reckless romance must be stopped.

The Walking Dead

Strange beginning. It’s either raining or dripping blood and there are voices in the background. Then we go right to the credits and an ad for Fear the Walking Dead which tricks us into thinking the show started.

Carol sews her jacket and packs her bag. Tobin comes upstairs. Carol hides her bag under the bed. He talks about Denise and Carol spaces out. Carol says she’s concerned about when Tara finds out. Tobin says everything will be okay and kisses her. When he’s asleep, Carol slips out while a Johnny Cash song, It’s All Over, plays.

The song continues as we see what everyone is doing. Glenn and Maggie are taking a shower together; Daryl sits on his bike, Denise’s key ring in his hand; Sasha gives Abe a cigar; Rosita guards the gate.

Rick and Michonne are in bed. She takes a bite of an apple and gives it to him. This is so they can get cozy and not have morning breath. It’s an old French trick. They talk about how ultimately, everything went pretty well. Michonne has to leave for her shift. She says Maggie is worried about an attack. Rick says it won’t be like before and everyone knows what to do. He says the world is theirs and they’re not losing anybody again. Don’t get cocky, Rick.

Michonne, Glen and Maggie see Daryl leaving Alexandria on his bike. Glenn says they have to stop him. Abe pops out of nowhere and Rosita tells him to cover her shift because she’s going with them. She gets in the car with Michonne and Glenn.

Rick asks Tobin when Carol left, but he doesn’t know. Abe comes up and tells them that Daryl just took off. Tobin notices there’s a car missing. Abe says he’s going to find them and Rick tells him to wait. He says not to let anyone else leave and to be ready for a fight. He leaves with Morgan.

Commercial break. Fear 462. The oxygen masks drop and it looks like the plane is dropping too.

Carol is driving a car with giant spikes sticking out of it. A car comes from the other direction and some guys shoot out the tires. They sit in the back of their pickup and wait. Carol tucks her rosary in her sleeve. A guy says hands up and she asks them not to hurt her. What the blip has happened to Carol? She gets out of the car.

The guy asks where she’s from and where she’s going. He says he’s Hugh. She says she’s Nancy and she’s bounced around a lot, that she’s not from anywhere or going anywehre. He says they agree on one thing, she’s not going anywhere, but she seems like she is from somewhere. He says Alexandria has cars out front like the one she’s driving. He says she shouldn’t be out there alone and they can give her a ride back, since it’s where they were headed. Carol hyperventilates.

She says they could turn around and no one needs to get hurt. They start to come for her and a gun from somewhere shoots them all. A gun from carol’s sleeve. Apparently, part of her sewing project. One of the guys who is still alive comes after her, but she stabs him with one of the car spikes.

She tells another survivor to come out. He says he’ll pass. Blood is dripping from everywhere (like in the opening scene) and he comes out in attack mode with a knife.

Enid tells Maggie to put her feet up and eat some pickles while she takes Maggie’s shift.

Morgan says he thinks Carol went east. Rick says he doesn’t even know her. Morgan says there is no right, just wrong that hasn’t pulled you down.

One of the guys Carol shot is wounded. He stumbles out of the truck, surveying the damage.

Rick and Morgan drive up. They see Carol’s car, but no Carol. Rick grabs a guy who’s still breathing and asks where she is. He just gurgles, so Rick puts him out of his misery. He and Morgan look around cautiously. Rick says the men were Saviors. Rick says Carol took four of them down and she’s a force of nature. Morgan sees a blood trail going into the woods. Rick notices the guns are gone.

They follow the trail through a field. The wounded guy comes out of the woods and picks up Carol’s rosary. He follows Rick and Morgan.

Rosita and Glen go to the train tracks where Denise died. Glen asks her which way Dwight ran.

Daryl is also going through the field and nearly hits Rosita with an arrow. Daryl says they shouldn’t have come and Glenn says he shouldn’t have left. Daryl says he’s going to do what he should have done. Glenn says they need to figure it out from home and that everyone there needs them right now. He says it’s going to go wrong out there. Michonne asks Daryl to come back, but he says he can’t . He walks into the woods. Rosita says she can’t either and follows him. Glenn and Michonne go back.

Glenn says they need to find out more and Michonne agrees. Glen says after everything they did, he thought they would figure it out together. They hear a whistle type signal. A bunch of guys with guns surround them. Dwight is one of them.

Rick and Morgan see more blood. Morgan asks Rick id he’s there because Carol is his friend. Rick says Carol is his family. Morgan asks Rick about when he kicked Carol out of the prison and what he would do if that happened today. He adds that she came back and saved them. They see someone stumbling along, but it’s not Carol, it’s a zombie.

They go to a farmhouse, where there are a couple of dead people outside. They see a guy attack a zombie. The guy runs into the barn. He says he’s looking for his horse and Rick says they’re looking for a friend. The guy runs out and away, but Rick and Morgan can’t go after him because a slew of zombies come out that they have to deal with. Rick says maybe he’s from Hilltop. Morgan says he could be from anywhere.

Morgan says he found a Wolf who had attacked him once before. He found him hiding in one of the brownstones in Alexandria. He says he could have killed him, but he kept him in a cell instead. He says when Carol found out, they fought about it. He says when the Wolf escaped, he ended up saving Denise’s life, who in turn saved Carl. He says it’s a circle. He tells Rick to take the car home and that he shouldn’t be taking any more chances because he’s needed there. He says somehow, he’ll find Carol.

Rick asks if he’s coming back. Morgan says yes, but if he doesn’t, don’t come looking. Rick makes him take a gun. Before he leaves, he tells Morgan that Michonne did steal the protein bar (something I don’t even remember, but it sounds like something from Survivor). Morgan says he knew that.

Rick gets back and asks if Michonne is there, but she’s still out with Glenn. Abe asks Rick if he’s afraid to get close to anyone and he says yes. Abe says him too, but he’s ready to rip the world a new one.

Maggie tells Enid she needs some more help. She wants Enid to cut her hair. She says she has to keep going and doesn’t want anything to get in her way. Like shoulder-length hair? Enid does a pretty good job, but then Maggie goes into labor.

Glenn and Michonne are bound and gagged. Daryl sees them from behind a tree. Dwight comes up behind him and I say “oh no!” out loud. We hear a shot, Daryl pitches forward, and Dwight says, “You’ll be all right.”

Next week, it’s the 90-minute finale, Rick wants to make a deal, and a humongous war happens.

I Am Cait

The girls go for mani-pedis. The next stop is Dubuque, then Des Moines for the debates and then Graceland University where Cait went to school. They will be giving a talk there. She says the school is religiously affiliated and she wants to allow the student body to ask questions. Ella is kind of nervous about that, since she knows a couple of guys who go to school there.

They go to a fund raiser for Chicago House and Cait gives a talk. Cait visited one of their homes that houses people from the trans community. There is a protest outside where the protesters say that Cait has no clue about the real trans community issues. One of the protesters says that Cait doesn’t speak for them, and Cait explains that she isn’t trying to speak for everyone, only herself. Like there isn’t enough pressure, I guess she’s supposed to be a role model for every person who’s ever had gender reassignment surgery. Non-conformists unite!

Back in the limo, Chandi is like, that person isn’t even showing their face, how are they helping the community. Jenny says it’s the first time Cait has seen some people’s reservations about her. Jenny says she’s a public figure, but also a problematic figure and she needs to pay attention.

I just want to interject my two cents here. Why is it that just because Cait transitioned, she is supposed to be a totally different person inside as well? I thought the whole point was to put your body in sync with your mind. Not the other way around.

They pick up Candis’s sister, Mimi, and head to Dubuque. The first stop is a lingerie store. Cait says she thinks there’s some wild things going on in Dubuque. They go out to eat and Cait suggests sampling “mountain oysters” (i.e. bull testicles), but that idea is vetoed.

A local trans representative sits down with them and they discuss the evening’s casino event. The girls are going to be dealers for the night. Kate says this is a good way for people to experience meeting their first transgender person and see that they’re sweet.

A 13-year-old girl tells Cait she’s having trouble coming out and Cait gives some wise advice that’s probably true for everyone. Surround yourself with positive people who want the best for you and if anyone gives you trouble, tell them to get the hell out.

Back on the bus, Kate says they’ll be going to the Democratic debates, and says she doesn’t want the firestorm they had before. She says there will be a lot of young people of both parties there and they want to set a good example. She says “God bless America” will be the “safe” word and if someone hears it, they should check themselves for being too aggressive. Candis is afraid that Cait won’t be able to meet in the middle about her political debates and is afraid she’ll go off on a rant’

The ladies go to Drake University where the debate is being held. It’s also where Cait ran her first decathlon as Bruce. It must be weird, going back to the old places. Zackary says Cait’s conservative politics are of concern to all of them, irritating me. Because everyone has to think the same. There are surprisingly few people at the debate. Cait tries to talk to Kate about Bernie Sander’s policies and Kate God bless Americas the crap out of her. Kate gives her a B+ for listening and communication.

Afterwards. the moderator asks for opinions and points out Cait in particular. She says that transitioning was a cakewalk until people found out she was a Republican. Aren’t we even getting to meet Hilary? Oh, here she is. Caitlyn comes up to Hilary to say hello and introduces the group. Zachary says all of them were star struck, but I dunno about that. Cait says she thought Hilary was “sweet.” That’s probably the only time we’ll ever hear that word in connection with her. Bill Clinton comes in behind, where Hilary makes him walk, and takes a picture with the girls.

The girls go out for dessert. Ella texted a football player she knows from the school, who she wants to get together with. Cait says that she treated Hilary with respect and wants the girls to treat the people at the school with the same respect.

Here’s something else I think. Obviously, Cait has a celebrity status the majority of the population, trans or otherwise, doesn’t, so maybe she’s not the greatest example for the trans community. However, if those same things make people more comfortable with the issues and more willing to be open-minded, why fight that? Erin Brochovich wasn’t afraid to use her femininity to get to the bottom of that drinking water case. Amirite?

Cait says she never wore heels at Graceland, and she’s kind of nervous. She meets her old coaches. She wondered what they’re reaction was going to be and it looks like it’s pretty normal and they’re still proud of her. Ella says she’s not going to be able to talk on stage. She meets her friend, Michael, from high school. The other guy who was supposed to come is AWOL. Candis is bummed, but gives full kudos for Michael. He joins Ella and the girls for lunch. The ladies ask Michael how he felt when he first saw Ella after her transition and he answers appropriately that he was in awe of her gorgeousity.

It’s time for the assembly and the ladies take their places on stage. The professor moderating says there are no wrong questions. The first one is about balancing religion with being a trans person. There is mic drop silence from the girls and Chandi says she’ll take it.

Chandi says that she was told her life was an abomination and lost touch with God. She says she realized that God knew who she was going to be before she was born and she reconnected and now will never let that connection go. Kate says look for the heart of the doctrine you’re following, and if it’s mean, think twice about following it. Sadly, her daughter is high up in the Church of Scientology and she hasn’t seen her daughter since she was nine, because she’s considered evil. They talk about things like pronouns and what it means to be a woman. Ella says she’s the same person she was before the transition, and I go, ahem, thinking about them not allowing Cait that same grace.

One of the kids asks how happy they are. Cait talks about not knowing who she was. Now she’s excited about life, but there was a lot of struggle first. Jenny says it was Cait’s turn to be worried about what they would say, but everyone was respectful and eloquent. I agree. Everyone is proud of everyone.

Cait says that no matter what your situation is, you can live an authentic life. It’s about dealing with all of our stuff, not just trans issues. Candis apologizes for being too hard on Cait and says she’ll be more open to her conservative views. Cait says they’ll have plenty of time.

Next week, Candis flirts with her trainer, and Cait meets with Scott.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — The Reunion, Part Two

Because some new shows started tonight, I couldn’t watch my line-up without something overlapping. I chose to miss the first half of this one, since Once Upon A Time doesn’t repeat and I didn’t want to lose any of I Am Cait. I think those girls have more important things to say than these girls. So we join our program already in progress.

Dylan is there, but gets the bum’s rush before he gets a chance to say much. Andy asks Phaedra about getting her groove back after Apollo going to prison. We flash back to various Phaedra scenes, many with the kids, and of course the visit to the prison. Andy asks about the visit part we didn’t see. Phaedra says she thought it would be more emotional with the kids, but it really wasn’t. She talks about Apollo not wanting the divorce. Andy asks about them going back and Phaedra isn’t too keen on it and talks about some weirdness in the room during the visit and also that the kids got pretty bored after about an hour and it wasn’t like they could just leave.

Phaedra says she’s glad that’s over with, so people can mind their own business. Andy stirs the pot by asking is it anyone in particular. She throws some shade at Kandi, but Kandi says that she just finds it sad that Dylan doesn’t know his dad and one day Apollo will be out of prison, so they need a relationship. Kandi says she has to be honest about the pros and cons as a friend. Phaedra says none of the guys who were his friends have ever checked on the kids seeing if they need a male role model. Cynthia says that she’s told Phaedra she’ll be there if she needs her. It looks to me like Phaedra freezes people out and then gets pissed when they’re not asking if she needs help all the time.

They talk about Phaedra’s boys and it is a little sad. Phaedra talks about them always being her babies and when Aiden said he was afraid, it broke her heart.

Porsha is asked about her strange on-camera relationships. Porsha says she’s not in a relationship with Oliver (the latest), but they speak every day. They move on to the Miami trip. We go back to Kenya asking that weird guy to leave. They talk again about how Porsha and Phaedra acted like Kenya was labeling him as a Black man. It turns out even the president of Black Lives Matter tweeted Porsha and told her to knock it off. Kenya says that the dude had an aggressive and threatening manner toward women, so it wasn’t exactly an example to be setting. Kim said it was more awkward than aggressive and wonders why Kenya didn’t ask security to remove him. Kenya says she went to Tammy first. She says that it turns out the guy also had been involved in unsavory activities.

It’s brought up that it was Kenya who invited him back to the house. She says yes, but with Tammy. Phaedra says it was a case of Kenya wanting him, but him not being receptive. I disagree. The tape shows how aggressive he was and if he hadn’t been and Kenya was interested, she would have just not taken no for an answer, not asked him to leave.

Kandi comes to Kenya’s defense, saying the guy had no right to behave the way he did. She said Kenya did nothing wrong and she can’t believe they all think it was okay. Cynthia admits that had it been anyone else, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Kandi says at the end of the day, Kenya does some crazy stuff, but regardless of whether you like her or not or what she said was right or not, the guy shouldn’t have behaved the way he did.

Next week, The Reunion, Part Three, Nene shows up in a barely there outfit, Porsha’s violence is called out, and the men join the ladies.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

No reunion yet? How is this show is still on???

Robyn meets Gizelle for lunch. Gizelle toasts to new beginnings. She asks if Juan told Robyn about their conversation. She thinks they should figure out what the end result of their relationship is going to be. Robyn says the “ingredients” are there, but she’s not sure if she wants to be open again. She says if Juan takes an out-of-state job, it will force them to make a decision. Gizelle thinks it’s important for the children as well.

Katie meets with her friend Tia. They talk about Andrew a little and Katie moves on to Karen’s “gala.” Katie says it was more like a cocktail party. Agreed.

At Karen’s house, a family cookout is being planned. Karen says it’s the first time in 19 years that they’ll be alone. She and Ray talk about the gala that wasn’t. Ray asks her about the altercation at the end. Karen says Ashley tried to out-queen her and that wasn’t going to happen. Talk about exaggeration. Jealous much?

Katie and Tia talk about Gizelle. Katie says other than dressing like a prostitute and acting bitchy, Gizelle is a nice person. Better duck. That shade is being pulled down.

Ashley picks up her mother, Sheila, for lunch. Sheila bought a house and had to sue the previous owner. She won the suit, but the amount wasn’t enough to cover everything, so she had to declare bankruptcy. Ashley and Michael want to buy Sheila a new home, but Sheila thinks it’s too big of a gift. Ashley says she’s in the position to do it and she wants to. Sheila says she never wants to be her burden. Ashley says that’s not the case. I say, geez, they have a skabillion dollars, take the house. And pick out a nice house. In her individual interview, Ashley says it’s bizarre that Karen doesn’t want Ashley around her daughter, since she actually makes a pretty good role model.

Charrisse is turning 50 and she says it’s going to be a new Charrisse. She’s going to have a slide show of her pictures during her party. Not too egotistical. Katie comes over to give her modeling tips for her birthday photo shoot. Charrisse says she’s having the party at the Carnegie Library. Her husband can’t make the party, but I don’t think she cares a whole lot.

It’s Rayvin’s going away party and Karen is getting ready with last minute stuff. She’s about to put her feet up for a second, when the bartender shows up, who Karen had no idea was hired by her husband. Spousal communication is a universal problem. She tells Ray he made her look like an idiot and he tells her not to sweat the small stuff.

All the relatives and friends gather in Karen’s backyard for some barbecue. Karen cries on Ray’s shoulder in the kitchen because she’s having a hard time letting go.

Gizelle sits her girls down for a family meeting. She says she’s been dating a little and she wants to talk to them about it. She asks them how they feel about her dating. I suppose the chant of “get a boyfriend” answers that question. Charrisse drops by with her dogs. They chat in the kitchen. Gizelle asks if Eddie is coming to the birthday party. Charrisse says she’d love for him to be there, but it is what it is. She also says the party is totaling around 80 grand, so maybe it’s good he’s not around.

Robyn meets Juan for lunch. Juan wants to be a head coach, but has to work his way up. Robyn asks about the out-of-state job. He says nothing is going on with that yet, and Robyn is relieved.

Charrisse’s birthday is upon us. I’m speechless. I don’t even know what to say about the slide show, giant cake and a billion balloons. Katie says Karen should take note on event planning and I have to agree with that. She also says it’s kind of like a wedding and I have to agree there too. A sad wedding. With just a bride.

Ashley says hello to Karen, who can’t brush her off fast enough. She asks the girls how she became the bad guy all of a sudden. In a moment of the pot calling the kettle black, Gizelle says Ashley can be a bit of a dum-dum. Karen says she doesn’t have time for Ashley’s shenanigans tonight. Gizelle wants them to talk, but doesn’t get anywhere. Ashley catches Karen in the hall and asks if they can talk, but Karen says no, she’s there to enjoy the evening with her husband. In her individual interview, Karen says Ashley doesn’t belong in this world. Does anyone? Ashley is kind of like a persistent puppy and somewhat annoying, but on the other hand, I just don’t see what the big deal is here. I usually don’t when it comes to Karen, who makes it up as she goes along.

Charrisse makes a costume change. Her daughter makes a little speech and it’s very sweet. A reasonably sized cake comes out. Charrisse does some rapping and her father looks less than impressed.

Michael grabs Andrew’s behind. Why? Who knows. Ashley says he’s just being silly. What’s really weird is, Michael and Andrew are talking and having a drink, while the ladies are discussing it. Gizelle asks if butt-grabbing is a white thing. For whatever reason Ashley thought Robyn and Gizelle were bi-racial and they get all offended. Then they go back to more butt-grabbing talk. Zzzzz….

Katie tells Andrew about the discussion. Katie says Robyn and Gizelle seem fixated about how Black they are, and are the most obsessed with race.

Ashley says something to Michael about the butt-grabbing being a white thing and jokes that it is. Ashley says she’s grabbed everyone’s butt except Karen’s. I don’t think I’ve ever grabbed a friend’s butt. Charrisse is happy with her $80,000 party, so that’s all that really matters.

Perhaps Michael has had too much to drink because he gets teary-eyed over how lucky he is to be married to Ashley.

Next week, we still can’t get rid of them, the girls go horseback riding, Ashley wants a baby, and Andrew goes on a golf trip without Katie.

March 25, 2016 — Double the GH & Quadruple Couch Quotes


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

Maxie and Nathan are getting busy. Maxie suddenly says she knows the truth about Claudette and she hates him. It’s just a dream.

IRL, Maxie tells Griffin she has a proposition for him.

Parker shows up at Alexis’s house. Kristina tells her to leave and Parker says it’s not that simple.

Hayden goes to Diane’s office and sees Nicholas sitting there.

Laura finds Elizabeth on the laptop and asks why she’s so upset.

Griff asks how Maxie’s ankle is and she says she didn’t even have to swear off heels for 24 hours. She tells him about the success of the real woman Crimson issue. She says it looks like the real men issue will be a go. He says he already told her that’s not his thing. She asks what’s up with him and why he’s being chilly. He says it’s because of her boyfriend.

Michael goes to Anna’s house and asks if there are any leads on Carrrlos. She says she doesn’t have anything. Michael is concerned that Anna might be tempted to use deadly force where Carrrlos is concerned.

Nicholas says Diane was filling him in, but Hayden can do a better job. Diane says Hayden assured her she was acting on Nicholas’s behalf and she was surprised to find out he had no knowledge of the ELQ transfer to her name, or that he would be against the idea. Nicholas asks to speak with Hayden alone. Hayden tells Nicholas she can explain, and he says he bets she can’t.

Lulu and Laura talk to Elizabeth about Helena’s will. Laura says all of her bequests had a riddle attached. Elizabeth says she hopes Laura tossed the key away, but Laura says she’s done some investigating and hopes to find out what it means.

Kristina asks why Parker is the one who’s married, yet she keeps showing up at Kristina’s door? Parker tells her about Max sniffing around and that it’s making her nervous. Kristina says she put a stop to it, so Parker has nothing to worry about. Parker says Kristina apparently hasn’t told her parents about her feelings and asks if she’s still struggling. Kristina asks why Parker just doesn’t admit she hates her, but Parker says far from it.

Griff says something about avoiding beautiful women and that he stays away from what he can’t have. I totally don’t get any of what he’s telling Maxie.

Anna says Carrrlos was with a woman at the last sighting, and she supposes it was Sabrrrina. .Michael says he tried calling her, but hasn’t heard back, so he assumes she’s still with Carrrlos. He’s concerned that Sabrrrina is being coerced into staying with him.

Laura tells the girls about her research on the key. Lulu says whatever it opens, she doesn’t want what’s inside. Elizabeth agrees and is thinking maybe Jake never needs to see the book Helena left either. Laura says she’s aware the key might open something horrible.

Nicholas says if the documents are executed, Hayden gets ELQ and can do what she wants with it. She says everything she did was for him and she can prove it.

Anna says every time she feels like she’s getting her bearings again, new information comes in. She says she’ll give Michael all the non-confidential information she has. He says they all would have been better off if someone had killed Carrrlos while they had the chance.

Michael leaves and runs into Griffin on the porch. Anna says he’s right on time and she has tea. He says she seems upset.

Nathan comes to the hospital and Maxie tells him about her conversation with Griffin and how he seemed to be holding something back.

Hayden says she had the papers drawn up in case the Quartermaines win the lawsuit. She says she was picking them up, but only his signature would have made them valid. He says her strategy is brilliant, but wonders why she kept the documents a secret. She says they all have their secrets and the beginning of their marriage was chaotic. She thought she’d wait until it was necessary for him to sign them. He says you can never be too prepared and thanks her for her concern and ability to think ahead. She says if it wasn’t because of the documents, why was he at Diane’s? He says to change his will.

Laura says not every encounter with Helena is toxic and she needs this final closure. Lulu asks where she’d even start looking and Laura says she has a good idea.

Parker says she was angry because Kristina threatened her career and marriage, but she never hated her. She wanted to reach out to her after the wedding and make sure she was okay. Kristina says it sounds like Parker really cares and she says she does. Kristina says Parker is giving her mixed messages and asks why Parker won’t leave her alone.

Maxie says Griff intimated that he found her attractive and didn’t want to be near what he couldn’t have. Oooh, I’m getting this now. Nathan says it’s his last day of medical restrictions. Maxie says he should be in bed and he says that’s what he was thinking. They leave.

Griff says he read that Duke was running Sonny’s organization when he died. Anna says that’s true and shows him a photo album. They go through the photos. Griff says they both look very happy. He says Anna must have had some conflict, being in law enforcement. She says their love was stronger than their differences and at the end, thought they should be together no matter what. They were about to leave town and she was meeting him at the pier at midnight. She starts to cry and tells Griff how she found Duke.

Laura says she’s starting in the attic and Lulu freaks out. She says she shouldn’t face what Helena left her by herself, so Lulu is going with her. Laura asks why Elizabeth is so quiet. Elizabeth says sometimes it’s better to know the truth even if it’s painful, which isn’t an answer. Lulu says they’ll leave a trail of bread crumbs.

They go upstairs and Elizabeth gets back on the laptop.

Nicholas says because of the prenup, if anything happens to him, Hayden won’t get what he feels she should. She asks if finding out about the papers has changed anything. He says no and they hug. Diane comes in and says it’s a better outcome than she thought it was going to be. Hayden says she’s leaving to let them conclude their business, and she’s leaving the papers. I’m not sure if I’m buying what Nicholas is saying though.

Griff says he’s glad Duke was trying to get out of the mob when he died. Anna says it was a difficulty for him, wanting to do the right thing, yet wanting the excitement and not trusting the law. Anna says he was a good man and she loved him with all her heart. She wishes he was there to meet Griffin and that he’d be over the moon to know he had a son. She says she wants there to be closure as far as Carrrlos goes, but there is none. Griff says real peace comes from forgiveness, but Anna says she could never forgive Carrrlos because he had no remorse. Griff says forgiveness is a gift from God. She says it’s a lovely sentiment, but doesn’t apply to her.

Lulu asks if Nicholas feels a Cassadine obligation to keep the attic as creepy and ominous as possible. It’s cobwebby and crowded with stuff. Amazingly, Laura finds a trunk in like two seconds.

Diane asks if Nicholas needs anything else from her. He asks what Hayden told her when the documents were originally drawn up. She confirms what Hayden said, and that it’s an effective strategy providing you trust the person you’re dealing with. She tells him not to sign the documents if he’s having any doubts about Hayden.

Hayden comes back to Windemere. She tells Elizabeth she should be packing, because when Nicholas gets home, he’s going to show her the door. Elizabeth says the only one leaving is Hayden, and she’s not coming back.

Parker asks Kristina if she needs to talk and Kristina tells her to just leave. Kristina says she doesn’t know who she is or what she wants, and Parker showing up just makes things worse. They kiss. Well, that’s not going to help anything.

Michael talks to Felix, who says since Sabrrrina had the baby, she hasn’t been communicative. Michael says Carrrlos is alive and Sabrrrina is with him. Felix says he should have realized what was going on. Michael says there has to be a way to find them and he has some ideas.

Maxie and Nathan are basking in the afterglow. She asks Nathan if he was jealous of her talking about Griffin. He says maybe a little. She says a little jealousy can be attractive.

Anna says she doesn’t want to talk about the bad stuff, she just wanted to share memories of Duke with Griff. He asks if there’s anything she wants to unburden herself of and she says he asks too many questions, and who is he really?

Nicholas tells Diane they’ll leave the will as is for now.

Elizabeth asks Hayden who she really is and calls her Rachel Berlin.

Laura puts the key in the trunk lock.Voila! It’s a fit.

Tomorrow, Nicholas confronts Elizabeth and Hayden, Kristina questions Parker’s motives and Carrrlos makes an appearance.

General Hospital — Friday

Griff says he knows pain and grief when he sees it and he thought Anna could find some peace in talking about it.

Carrrlos calls Paul. All Paul wants to hear is that Carrrlos is coming back to Port Charles.

Sonny brings Epiphany some flowers. She says she’s mad as hell about him lying to his family.

Parker steps back and says this can’t happen.

Elizabeth says everyone knows who Rachel Berlin is. She and her father were all over the media, along with the financial scandal. Elizabeth says she knows Hayden is Rachel, and Nicholas is going to know too.

Lulu reminds Laura of Pandora’s Box and how it unleashed all the evils into the world. Laura says there was hope at the bottom though. She opens the trunk.

Kristina says talk about mixed signals and I agree. Parker says the kiss wasn’t why she came there. Kristina asks if Parker likes seeing her embarrass herself. Parker says she needs to figure out her feelings in her own time. Kristina says Parker didn’t land on her porch by accident and she must have wanted something to happen between them. Again I agree. She could have just called.

Epiphany says she bets Carly was mighty pissed about Sonny lying. Sonny confirms that. He thanks Epiphany for keeping his secret. She says she had no choice because of staff/patient confidentiality. Sonny says he thought it was because she liked him. Epiphany says Sonny flatters himself and she got into trouble with Dr. Monroe. He’d asked for a patient evaluation and could probably tell in 10 seconds that Sonny could walk.

Paul says the deal remains the same. Carrrlos comes back to Port Charles and testifies against Julian in exchange for immunity.

Anna tells Griff if he’s thrown in with Paul, he’s made a mistake. Griff says there’s no conspiracy going on. Anna throws out some theories, but Griff says he’s who he says he is and he wants her to run a DNA test. He wants Anna to trust him.

Lulu says all that’s in the trunk is a book. It’s a textbook. An introduction to law enforcement and criminal justice that belonged to Scotty.

Hayden says fine, but she’ll tell Nicholas. Elizabeth doesn’t trust her. She begs Elizabeth to let her handle it. Nicholas comes in and asks what’s going on.

Griff gives Anna the teacup he was drinking out of. Griff says he’s sorry she thought he was trying to get her to confess something. He says it’s clear that something is weighing heavy on her. He says she should try to find a way to forgive herself.

Paul says there’s nothing pretty about life on the run. Carrrlos says it’s his life. Paul says he can be free if he comes back. Carrrlos says the only way he and his family can be safe is if he stays away. He adds that Sonny would like to dance on his grave.

Griff is late for his appointment with Sonny. Epiphany says that he’s usually conscientious and must have a good reason. Sonny balks at her making an excuse for anyone and asks if she’s in love. She says the only one she loves is Milo.

Lulu asks what the connection is between Scotty and Helena. Laura says Scotty has no connection to Helena, other than handling her will. She says Scotty was in law school when they were first married. She bought him all kinds of law books and ended up getting them in the ditch financially. Lulu asks what she did to get them out, and Laura says she took a job at the disco…where she met Luke.

Hayden says Elizabeth is still in love with Nicholas and trying to spin lies. After some argument, Elizabeth says that Hayden’s name is really Rachel Berlin and her father is the infamous Raymond Berlin, who bilked his clients out of millions. Nicholas asks Hayden if it’s true.

Hayden says yes. Nicholas says her father isn’t dead then. Hayden says that he did have a heart attack, but recovered. He says she told him her mother was dead too. Hayden says she wanted nothing to do with them, so they were dead to her. She says she did everything she could to escape her reputation. Nicholas says she also escaped prosecution for her part in her father’s crimes. I’m re-hating Elizabeth right now.

Lulu says the treasure hunt is over. Laura says she wants to stop playing games with a dead woman and throws down the book. Lulu sees something fall out of it.

Parker says she is attracted to Kristina, but she loves her wife, and being attracted to someone doesn’t mean you have to act on it. She says she realizes how Kristina must have felt led on, and she should have called instead. She says Kristina has to figure out what it is she wants. Kristina says she wants Parker. (You go, Glen Coco!)

Carrrlos says Anna and Paul want him dead. Paul says Anna would rather see Julian in jail. Carrrlos says Paul has already proven he can kill, despite what Sloane had done, and he wants to stay far away from him. Paul asks why he called, and Carrrlos says his payment is late. He tells Paul he’d better get the money asap and to say hello to Anna for him.

Anna knocks at Paul’s door and asks if he’s any closer to finding Carrrlos.

Griff shows up at the hospital. He tells Sonny sorry he’s late, but he was talking about Duke to Anna. Sonny says Anna usually doesn’t open up about her personal life. Griff said she probably made an exception because he’s Duke’s son.

Kristina says up until she met Parker, she thought she knew who she was. When they clicked, she couldn’t stop thinking about her. She says the labels don’t matter. All she knows is that she wants to be with Parker. Parker says it’s all the more reason. She’s probably had feelings for women before, and Parker is safe because she’s unattainable. She says she’s sorry for all of it and Kristina should explore that side of herself without fear and shame. And without her.

Griff tells Sonny about the DNA test. Sonny brings up how they first met and how easy it was to talk to Griff. He tells Griff what a wonderful guy Duke was and that’s probably where he gets it from.

Anna tells Paul about how she thought Griff was trying to get her to confess something. She says nothing with Carrrlos has been resolved and she feels that it’s making her paranoid. She says she’s going to use her own resources to bring Carrrlos in.

Laura says she’s giving in. Lulu says she might want to rethink that and shows her the book. An old wrist corsage is sticking out of it. Laura says it’s from a formal she went to with Scotty. Lulu asks if anything unusual or special happened. Laura says no, except it was the last happy time in their marriage. Laura says they were young and in love, but it was before Helena, so why would she point Laura in hat direction?

Nicholas says Rachel’s clients want restitution. Elizabeth says Hayden reinvented herself so she could hang on to the money. Hayden says she lost everything and did what she could to survive. Elizabeth said she could have gone anywhere. Hayden says she was in Beecher’s Corners when Rick approached her about pretending to be Jake Doe’s wife. She says she couldn’t pass up the money. Nicholas says she must have been very happy to meet him, a prince who’s loaded.

Laura thinks there must be something else in the trunk. Lulu says what if there’s another key and another lock and another trunk and it keeps going. She says who knows what Helena meant by “you’ll find what you lost.” It could be like Rosebud from Citizen Kane. Laura finds nothing else and starts to thumb through the book.

Hayden tells Nicholas they should talk alone. Nicholas says no wonder she had the papers drawn up. He asks if she was going to use ELQ to pay back the clients or ingratiate herself back into the financial world. She says she had no clue what her father was doing. Nicholas says even if that’s true, why didn’t she just tell him instead of letting Elizabeth figure it out? Hayden says that she was afraid the marriage would be over before it began.

Paul asks if she’s willing to sacrifice everything to put Julian and Carrrlos behind bars. She says she wants justice for Duke and doesn’t care if she loses her own freedom in the process.

Sonny says Duke would have been hella proud that he had a son. Griff says it wasn’t in God’s plan. Sonny says God had nothing to do with it, that Carrrlos shot him. Griff says he’s going to tell Sonny the same thing he told Anna; he should forgive the man who killed Griff’s father.

Anna says there’s no guarantee anything Paul will do is going to help. She says he has his own best interests at heart and she can’t allow her own desire for freedom to get in the way of justice anymore. She tells Paul they’re done and leaves.

Paul calls someone and says he has a juicy tip, but they didn’t hear it from him. He says the PCPD made a mistake identifying Carrrlos’s body and he’s still alive.

Griff says he’s been angry and he let bitterness fester in his blood until he realized forgiveness would set him free. He says violence isn’t going to bring Sonny peace or honor Duke. He says to leave Carrrlos in God’s hands and rise above revenge.

Kristina asks what she’s supposed to do with her feelings. Parker says part of Kristina’s confusion is because of her, but because she’s not attainable, not because she’s a woman. She says sexuality is just part of the extraordinary woman Kristina is becoming. They hug and Parker says good-by.

Laura sees letters circled throughout the book. Lulu says what if it’s even more complicated and it’s encrypted. Laura says she’ll figure it out and now she has all the pieces of the puzzle.

Elizabeth puts in her two cents and Hayden asks her to gloat in another room. She tells Nicholas to be careful and leaves. Hayden says she was ashamed and humiliated and needed to be someone else. She says all she wanted, and still wants, from Nicholas is to love and be loved. She says the one big truth is that no matter who she is, she loves him. Oh come on, Nicholas.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth tells Laura all hell is breaking loose, Nicholas wonders what else Hayden is lying about, and Paul wants to renew his relationship with Ava.

The People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

Every time I see his head, I think it’s computer generated. — Budd, referring to Todd Chrisley on Chrisley Knows Best.

The blonde always wins. — Brandy, referring to The Bachelor.

Is this The Bachelorette or The Bachelor? — Sue, referring to The Bachelor. I think.

If he’s this torn, how is he gonna decide? Is he gonna have a talent show? — Mackenna, referring to The Bachelor.

March 23, 2016 — GH, Little Reunion, Little Women & Little Family


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Kristina writes in her journal. She writes about Molly — telling her if she’s reading it to stop — saying that she’s glad to have someone to tell about Parker. Sonny drops by with an apology.

Obrecht says she’s been proven correct because Finn disappeared. Tracy suggests they get Obrecht fired before the next set of rounds, and asks Monica to find Finn — stat.

Carly hears a scream and a maid comes running out of one of the rooms, saying she’s not going in there again. It’s Finn’s room. I’m guessing she saw the iguana.

Nicholas is at Kelly’s. Laura comes by. They talk about the will reading. Laura says she’s looking for answers and thinks Nicholas should too.

Hayden calls Diane. She wants to know if the ELQ papers are ready. She says Nicholas wants to sign them and to text her when they’re ready. She types Naomi Dreyfus in the search engine of her phone. Elizabeth suddenly appears asking who Naomi is.

Hayden says she doesn’t know what kind of barn she was raised in, but she needs to learn manners, considering she’s a freeloader.

Laura says there was nothing random about Helena and he knows she must have had a plan. Nicholas says she left him the painting because she wants to torture his thoughts for life. Laura asks why he thinks she didn’t leave any of her money to him. He says he’s not going to give Helena a victory lap by concentrating on it and he wins by ignoring it. Laura says she wants to know what the key is.

Obrecht says at best Finn can be considered unorthodox. Tracy says he’s the one who was able to diagnose her and it’s in Obrecht and the hospital’s best interest to get him back immediately. Obrecht apparently knows more about lizards than I do, because she mentions that Roxie is a bearded dragon.

Carly says she wanted to welcome Finn to the hotel herself. He’s obviously looking for Roxie. He tells Carly the maid must have seen her. Carly says he checked in alone. He tells her Roxie is a service animal. Carly says they welcome service dogs. He says she’s a service lizard and orders a plain salad to lure her out. Carly notices how much he looks like Silas. He says he can assure her he’s not him.

Sonny tells Kristina he was too hard on her and it’s been bothering him. He doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but it broke his heart to see her cry and no matter what happened, he couldn’t love her more. Kristina hugs him and thanks him. She says he shouldn’t feel guilty; it was her own bad decision. He says he knows it must have been difficult to tell them, and he made it worse by being angry. He says he wasn’t really disappointed in her, but in himself for his reaction.

Sonny says she made a bad decision, but it takes two to tango and wonders what the professor did to let her think sex would be an option. Kristina says she just wants it to be over. Sonny says it’s too late, since he kind of did something already by sending Max to find out who the professor is.

An orderly comes in and has medication for Tracy. According to the chart, Monica ordered it.

Finn asks if the owner always greets the guests personally. Carly says she was just trying to make up for things with the health department closing them down. Finn asks if he should be concerned and Carly tells him what happened with Olivia. Finn says, hmm, a woman can be arrested for breastfeeding in Port Charles, but a service lizard is considered strange. Carly asks what Roxie does for him. He says it’s illegal to ask that question (learned something new today), but since she brought champagne and has had her own legal troubles lately, he won’t press charges.

Nicholas says Helena would be happy to see them running around like fools, trying to figure things out. He says her machinations only work if you believe in them. Laura brings up the curse and says who’s to say that it didn’t work. She tells him she took the key to an antiques expert and it’s from 19th century Russia, probably to a steamer trunk or valise. Nicholas says there’s probably a dozen trunks in the attic at Windemere and who knows where else, and it’s possible she’s left Laura a key to nothing.

Hayden says Elizabeth is nothing to Nicholas. She calls him her friend, but he’s really a fall-back plan. She doesn’t want him to find someone else in case she needs him. Elizabeth says it’s only a matter of time before they figure out what Hayden is trying to hide.

Finn finds Roxie behind Carly. Carly asks if she bites. Finn says only if she’s frightened or threatened or maybe if you’re a woman, since she’s a guy’s lizard. He tells Carly not to move. Silas catches Roxie and puts her back in her tank. I like seeing Michael Easton in this role.

Kristina says she doesn’t need Sonny making things worse. He says he thinks there’s something she’s not telling him, but she says she’s just humiliated. She says just because she’s a girl, she doesn’t need him to rescue her. She says she’s an adult and it’s her problem to fix. Sonny says he’s always going to want to be her hero, but if she wants to fix things herself, go ahead. He says she’s going to call Max though. Whose number she knows by heart. She calls Max and tells him to back off. She says she appreciates it, but she and Sonny came to an agreement.

Laura says she’s going to check the steamer trunks at Windemere, but she’s not going all over the globe. He says Helena wants her to believe it’s going to change her life. Laura says Helena wasn’t petty or frivolous, and she’s going to find out what the key means. She thinks he shouldn’t discount the painting either.

Hayden tells Elizabeth to focus on her brats and leave her and Nicholas alone. Elizabeth says she knows the truth is going to hurt Nicholas. Hayden tells her if she doesn’t back off, she’s going to have her kicked out. Elizabeth says if she makes Nicholas choose between them, she won’t like the answer. I dunno about that.

Carly says she can cross being introduced to a lizard off her bucket list. Finn says she likes Carly and Carly admits Roxie is cute. Carly leaves and Finn opens the champagne. He asks Roxie if she thinks they’re going to like their life in Port Charles.

Tracy reminds Obrecht she’s a board member and the Quartermaines have donated more money than anyone else. Obrecht agrees to give Finn temporary privileges. Tracy says it’s obvious she’s threatened by Finn and Monica. Obrecht says the conversation is counterproductive and leaves.Tracy thanks Monica for bringing Finn in.

Hayden says there’s no chance Nicholas would choose Elizabeth over his wife. Elizabeth brings up Nicholas hiring Sam and Hayden says he called the investigation off because he loves her. Elizabeth brings up the pre-nup. Hayden says Elizabeth tricked Jason into marrying her when he was married to someone else. Elizabeth says she could always find another place to live, but who would Hayden call if she got the boot? Naomi? I’m sure Hayden isn’t totally on the up and up, but I still like her a million times better than Elizabeth.

Kristina writes some more in her journal, mostly about her sexual confusion. She says she misses school, but doesn’t miss crushing on Parker, and that she must have seemed ridiculous. Parker, who has ESP, rings the bell.

Sonny tells Carly about his apology. She says Kristina must have been thrilled and he says, yeah, until he told her about Max. She asks how soon he called Max back and told him to keep digging. He says he thought about it, but didn’t do it. He says Kristina is like him, feisty, but vulnerable underneath. He says they had an honest conversation, she told him what she needed and he listened, and he feels like a good dad.

Carly fills him in on the whole hotel thing and tells him about Finn and Roxie. Sonny laughs about having a lizard as a service pet.

Monica calls Finn. She says they were surprised he left quickly, and he says he had to get Roxie settled. She asks if he’s available for another counsel. He says he’s planning on staying indefinitely. Monica says there will probably be bureaucratic red tape, but she and Tracy are high up. He says call back when she needs him.

Laura says she never listened to her mother’s opinions about her partners, so she doesn’t expect her kids to listen to hers. She says one day Spencer won’t listen to Nicholas either. He says he values her opinion even if he doesn’t agree, but wants to know what she’s afraid of where Hayden is concerned. Laura says she’s glad he has a good prenup. When she leaves, Nicholas makes a call and says he’s on his way.

Hayden’s phone rings and Elizabeth says if it’s Naomi, give her my best. It’s Diane and Hayden says she has to go. She says she doesn’t care how Elizabeth spins what happened, she’s telling Nicholas to get her and her boys out of the house. When she leaves, Elizabeth goes straight to the laptop to see what Hayden was searching for. The name Naomi Dreyfus-Berlin comes up and Elizabeth says omg.

Tomorrow, Hayden meets with Diane, Parker meets with Kristina, and Griff asks Anna what she won’t forgive.

Little Women: Atlanta — The Reunion

We are all glad to see the reunion is here at last. Because that means the first season of this show is finally over.

Terra is the hostess. She always looks fabulous and I have to say the Atlanta crowd is looking the best I’ve seen them. Maybe that’s because no one has their weave pulled out or a drink spilled on them. We start off with some flashbacks. There probably isn’t enough to talk about that would fill a whole hour.

Terra asks how it was watching the season. The only appropriate answer here would be embarrassing.

Minnie reaching out to her father for the DNA test is discussed. It’s tough on Minnie. Terra asks if she’s spoken to him and Minnie says yes, but he’s still at a distance and pushing her away. She says she’s forgiven him though, and if he wants a relationship, she’s game. I had a great dad, and something like this always bums me out.

Moving on to the rivalry between the Cheeks and the Tiny Twins. Emily talks about how she encouraged the twins to get out on the dance floor and how it backfired. Emily says it’s tough when the twins follow her and Bri to whatever club they’re working at.

Terra asks who started the rivalry. Emily says they had their own brand to begin with, and they aren’t trying to follow anyone else. We flash back to the altercations between the four girls. This reunion isn’t even a fresh hell; it’s the same one we’ve been in for weeks. More talk about who did what first. Terra asks why they felt the need to get physical. One of the twins says if she gets touched, she’ll touch back. Bri says that’s a good way to get killed. Alrighty then.

They talk about Minnie’s pseudo-boyfriend, Pastor Troy, and I get ready for them to belabor the point that Minnie lied. Minnie says she felt like a third wheel since everyone else was in a relationship. She was hoping Troy would go along with it. Terra asks if they were ever more than friends. Terra says social media has said she might be pregnant with his baby.

Minnie says, yes, she’s pregnant. Monie says it’s the first time she’s hearing about it in person. Terra says it’s hard to trust someone who’s lied to you. Emily says she got no response when she tried to contact Minnie. Terra asks Minnie why she didn’t talk to anyone. Terra asks if it’s Troy’s baby and Minnie says TMZ never lies. What planet does she live on? After Terra asks several more times, Minnie says it’s Troy’s baby. Terra asks if she’s still single and Minnie says no comment. Terra says she didn’t come here for no comment and Minnie says there’s no ring on it, so she’s still single.

Miss Juicy joins the group. She’s wearing a tiara because she’s the queen of Atlanta. According to her. Miss Juicy wonders how you can get pregnant from a…never mind. Minnie tells Juicy she should stop thinking so much about her and stay in her own lane. I actually like that one. Juicy pulls out a pregnancy test. These women are whackjobs. She even unwrapped it. Gross.

Juicy and Minnie argue about who is the more original. Juicy talks about the lies Minnie has told and thinks she should pee on the stick. Much discussion happens and if someone says “pee on the stick” one more time, I’m going to scream. Monie looks tired.

We see Juicy’s “juiciest moments,” which is a matter of opinion. We revisit her crashing Minnie’s birthday party. Monie gets upset about having gone after Juicy and it sounds like she has an ongoing problem with going after the wrong person. Juicy actually blows it off saying she was only upset about her hair and probably would have done the same thing.

Juicy asks what’s going to happen in nine months when there’s no baby. Minnie says Juicy can hold her legs when she delivers. Monie asks again if she’s pregnant by Pastor Troy and Minnie says yes.

Pastor Troy is introduced.

Commercial break. Little Women: New York begins in May. They can’t even get through a commercial without bleeping some words.

Terra asks if Troy ever dated Minnie. He says they never formally dated and Terra asks if he was annoyed that she lied. He says a lot of his fans lie. Terra asks if he’s seen Minnie’s “goodies,” which he calls going to the mini market. When it comes to whether it’s his baby or not, he says he’s not the only rapper Minnie deals with, and they’ll have to wait and see, adding that he doesn’t kiss and tell. Monie thinks he should be tending to Minnie and asking if she wants some water. What is she? A camel? Emily asks flat out if he had sex with her without protection, but he just keeps dancing around the question.

Terra thanks Troy and Juicy. Bye!

We flash back over the various relationships the girls have with their useless boyfriends. I kind of like Morlin. He’s the only one who isn’t living off his girlfriend and actually seems to care.

Emily says it’s not really fair because only one side is being shown. Terra asks about Emily’s baby and she says the name is going to be Lontel Jenard Something Junior. Bri says she and Wooda (shooda cooda) are talking and working it out. Ugh!

Terra moves on toe Andrea. Last we saw, she and Chris had moved into their own place. Things don’t sound like they’re going well.

Maybe it’s the heat in the south, but it just seems like the LA and NYC little women can do things like form a sentence and have real jobs, whereas this group can barely spell their own names. That’s if they know their names. I have the sneaking suspicion they probably confuse each other the same way I confuse them.

Okay, I guess things are going better than it sounded because Andrea is pregnant and she says Chris is excited. She says if anyone wants her to pee on a test [sic], she will. Andrea says he’s being more involved with the pregnancy than he was the first time around. Sigh.

They show some “unseen footage.” The scenes are actually fun, with the girls getting along and laughing. Terra asks if they believe little women should stick together and Emily says that they’re all little and pregnant now.

Terra announces that the show is back for another season. I already know what’s going to happen. I’ll forget why I hated it and start watching it again.

Little Women: LA: Terra’s Little Family

I love Terra and Joe, and I like that this is a mostly happy show. I need something to balance these table flipping wackadoos.

Penny is seven moths old now, so Terra and Joe are having her checked out and getting her vaccinations. They want to make sure she’s cleared for spinal decompression surgery. The pediatrician thinks Penny is looking good. Joe is holding out hope that Penny won’t need to be operated on.

Terra has a hard time dealing with Penny’s pain while she’s getting her shots and wonders how bad it’s going to be when she has surgery. The surgery is scheduled in three days and Terra’s brother has come to help. Beforehand, they’re doing family stuff. They go to a pumpkin patch and through a corn maze. Joe says he feels like he’s in The Shining.

They go to a petting zoo where they barter with goats in the universal language of all animals — food. It’s fun to watch Penny experience new things. Joe’s back is killing him and Terra encourages him to think about getting surgery himself. He says nagging really helps and I laugh. Joe has a great delivery.

Terra and her brother get their faces painted and it startles Penny, making her cry. Terra insists she’s just hungry, but Joe says yeah, hungry and frightened.

Terra and Joe meet with the doctor, who is an expert in dwarfism. He has an excellent bedside manner as well. He doesn’t mince words either and answers all of their questions honestly. The surgery Penny will be having is rare. The doctor says there is a risk of complication, but the surgery is a preventative measure. It’s very hard on Terra and Joe.

Terra visits Tracy, who is pregnant with an average sized child. Terra asks if Tracy has any concerns. Tracy says he’s going to be heavy. Terra talks about Penny’s surgery and gets choked up. Terra wants to have another baby and wonders if that’s the right decision. Joe is worried about another child having health issues.Tracy says she and Tonya have both had this type of surgery, and tells her that her surgeon is the best.

Terra says she’s trying to hide her true emotions from Penny, and wants her to only feel comforted and loved. They have to be at the hospital at 5 am. Terra says she’s not ready and she’s scared for Penny. She asks Joe if this is why he doesn’t want to have another child. He suggests they try in six months, but she’s afraid he’ll keep putting it off. He says he just wants Penny to be a little older.Joe asks why she’s in such a hurry. Terra says she enjoyed growing up with a brother.

She says she really just wants to take her mind off of what’s happening, and talks about the all the papers they had to sign and Joe says you have to sign them for a root canal, which is basically true.

Even though the show is a half hour, they always have two back-to-back episodes.

It’s surgery day. Terra says nothing can prepare you for your child having surgery. Joe says it’s been overwhelming and during Penny’s short life, she’s already had quite a bit of medical procedures. He jokes about one of her visits to the hospital being two shots, a prick and oral like their first date. Terra says although sometimes she wishes Joe took things more seriously, his sense of humor comes in handy.

Joe says it’s reminding him of his own surgeries as a kid, but it’s more difficult when it’s your own child. Terra says she’s cried in front of Penny and Penny picked up on it and cried herself, so she’s doing her best to stay positive. The doctor asks if there are any last minute questions. Terra asks if they’ll be able to hold her afterwards and the doctor says yes, she’ll be on medication and the nurse will show her what to do.

Terra says leaving her is the hardest part, and then the not knowing. While they’re in the waiting area, I just know they feel like time is at a standstill. Joe says Penny is in a dangerous place right now and he just wants her to be okay. They talk about deciding to be parents regardless of the knowledge that their children might have health problems. They pray.

Terra says the minutes feel like hours. She calls her mom. Terra’s mom is really cool. She’s like an old hippie and has a cat rescue. Terra explains that if this surgery isn’t helpful, Penny will need a shunt put in later. Her mom suggests they get some rest. Terra says talking to her mom is always a comfort. Joe says they have a lot of family support.

Terra says as much as it’s the best hospital and they have the best doctors doesn’t mean something can’t go wrong. She and Joe go to the cafe across the street to get a change of scenery. Joe says it’s the worst, you feel totally helpless, but can’t fall apart.

The hospital calls. Terra makes a shocked face, but isn’t saying anything. Joe mildly freaks. He says seeing her reaction without knowing what’s going on is making him think the worst. It turns out Penny is just going into surgery. They were having a hard time finding a vein for the anesthetic. I understand this because they have a hard time with me too. Joe says it sucks.Yes, it does. All that waiting and the surgery hasn’t even started. They go back to the hospital.

Joe says he isn’t going to be happy until he gets the all clear. It’s 10:30 am and Penny is still in surgery. The doctor comes in smiling. Everything went well. Even I’m smiling. He says Penny is doing just fine and the decompression has taken affect. He tells them she’s going to the ICU and they’ll be able to see her there.

Happiness and gratitude all around.

This season, Terra explains suppositories to Joe; Penny has another MRI and another potential surgery; baby number two is discussed; Joe might also be facing back surgery.

Little Women: LA

We’re still in Mexico. Jasmine is enthusiastic to show everyone the country, but she says not everyone is in a festive mood. That’s an understatement.

They go to some kind of ruins. It’s also raining. Briana says Ali is a breath of fresh air after the relationship beat down from Tonya. Briana says the only reason she’s still there is Jasmine.

Jasmine’s cousin, Victor, meets them at the ruins. They’re the only two little people in their family and come from an area in Mexico that has a large population with their type of dwarfism. Victor has gotten some pedi-cabs for them to ride in. Christy feels like, with Matt not around, she’s seeing her old friend, Briana, again.

They do some exploring. Tonya says Lil Boss do not walk in da mud, Jasmine talks to Ali and Briana. She asks how Briana liked the party last night. She says she wasn’t crazy about the stripper, but she had fun. She tells Jasmine about what Tonya told her, that there are some fake friends there who don’t support her marriage.

Ali says she talked to Tonya and Terra, who told her about Matt. Jasmine wonders why they’d tell Ali about Briana’s business. Ali said she wondered the same thing, since she didn’t bring it up.Briana says if it’s Christy, she has a good poker face. She says she’s going to confront the girls and if that’s how they feel, she wants them to go home.

The ladies go to a pyramid, the tallest ancient Myan structure in the Yukitan. There are about a skabillion stairs with a climb at your own risk sign. 122 steps and 144 feet up. There isn’t a chance in hell I’d climb it and I can’t believe these girls are going to try. My hat’s off to them, along with every other accessory. This isn’t an easy climb for a fitness guru and I’m already wondering how they’re getting down. And yes, there have been accidents there. Terra makes it to the top.

Christy decides to make an announcement that she and Todd are going to adopt. Briana says Christy announces this every five minutes and needs to be the center of attention. Elena figures who cares at this point, so she tells everyone she’s having twins. Christy is pissed that Elena stole her moment. She doesn’t get why no one cares, but it’s probably because they’ve heard this before.

Elena is glad she can now eat and wear what she wants. She asks Briana if she’s okay and Briana says she has mixed emotions. She says some of the girls are being dishonest. Right away, Terra and Tonya say they haven’t been dishonest. Terra says they’re always trying to figure out if Briana is telling the truth. She says she’s there for Briana, but not Matt. She doesn’t like him and says he disrespects women, Briana in particular.

Terra talks about Jasmine wanting them all to reconnect with Briana and how she was on board with that, but building a friendship takes two people, and it seems like Briana isn’t trying. She asks if Briana would have invited her if Jasmine hadn’t and Briana says no. Tonya points her finger at Christy and says she didn’t want to be there either. Great place to be acting like five-year-olds, in front of a Myan ruin.

Terra says Christy feels the same way they do. Christy is like, thanks a lot. Briana says she and Matt are a package deal now. Jasmine asks who told her about it and Briana says Ali spoke to her. Terra is all offended, but she and Tonya could have kept their mouths shut and not told Ali anything. Terra tells Ali that she’s screwed up and should leave.

Jasmine tells everyone to shut up and have a good time so Briana can enjoy herself. Tonya says she’s out and leaves along with Terra. Briana says they turned her party into a shitshow and made her question Christy. She and Christy are left there and Christy says she came there for Briana. She says it took a lot for her to come there and she wants to rebuild the friendship. Christy says she did say she didn’t like Matt, but she also said she hoped to be at the wedding and hoped Briana’s parents would be there too.

Briana says at this point, she’s ready to go home. Christy asks if Briana wants her at the wedding. Briana says she did, but now she wants to think about it.

Terra and Tonya are trying to jet ahead so they don’t have to talk to the others. Terra says Ali was spreading lies and Christy is flip-flopping. Tonya says Christy is being all kumbaya when she’d agreed she couldn’t stand Matt. Terra says Christy is just saying what everyone wants to hear.

Tonya, Terra and Elena take the last day to go swimming with the dolphins. Elena isn’t going all the way out, but does get in the water a little and gives a dolphin a kiss. Terra is exhausted, so the only one who goes the full dolphin is Tonya. She rides on the back of one of the dolphins. Kind of impressive for someone usually so lazy.

They discuss the whole Briana thing again since no one can give it a rest. Elena says she thinks Briana is happy and Matt knows how to make her happy. I do not want to know any theories on that. Elena says when she and Preston got married, it wasn’t all unicorns and rainbows either. Terra says they need to make amends or go their separate ways. I can’t remember disliking any of my friends’ husbands or boyfriends this much, but I would hope if I’m ever in that position, I handle it better than this group.

Jasmine and Briana go into town and do some shopping. They try on hats at a souvenir store and I’m wondering why Jasmine isn’t taking her to somewhere more native. They discuss the fight at the ruins. Jasmine wants to go out for drinks on their last night. Briana says that Terra and Tonya can’t focus on being her friend and getting to know her. She says they don’t deserve her friendship. Jasmine says it’s not going to stop until Briana puts her foot down and tells them how she feels.

Ali visits Christy’s room. They’ve been friends for a number of years and Christy feels badly about what happened. Ali asks how she thinks Briana feels. Christy says she loves Briana, but she doesn’t have to love her husband. She says she had to tell Briana how she feels because of Tonya twisting her words. Ali wonders if Terra and Tonya even want to be friends with Briana and asks if Christy would call them out on that. Christy says she would.

They go to a gorgeous outdoor space for their last night. Everyone shows up, even the sourpusses. They talk about what they did after the ruins trip. Jasmine says she and Briana went dancing at the hotel. Elena says it’s been a nice weekend, except for that one part. Elena says Briana did start the conversation though. Terra says don’t ask a question that you don’t want the answer to. Ali, as a casual observer, says they all seem to throw each other under the bus on a regular basis. Suddenly, Terra and Christy are arguing and it starts to get loud. WTF just happened? That was fast.

Everyone is pointing at everyone else, confirming what Ali just said. Briana finally tells them to knock it off. Terra says she came there to rebuild their friendship, says Briana is talking to her like a two-year-old and calls her a bitch. She’s angry that Briana is friendly with Christy, who’s lying to her, and not accepting Terra’s friendship. She asks why Briana is okay with Christy hating Matt, but not her? Briana says she wasn’t aware Christy hated him. Briana says she’d like to turn things around and move forward instead of back. Briana says Terra didn’t seem to care until she started being friends with Christy again.

Terra says it’s like Briana is afraid of Matt. Briana says enough already, get out. Terra and Tonya leave. Briana says she’s done with them.

They both get teary. Briana says she’s happy, but this is causing a rift because she brings it home with her and Matt can’t fix it. Jasmine says she needs to tell them how she feels.


March 22, 2016 — GH, Dubai via Beverly Hills & Drama via Tyler Perry


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden is looking at the portrait of Helena when Nicholas comes in. She says there’s something about the portrait and he says the something is that it’s creepy.

Alexis has Jason and Sam sign the divorce papers.

Nina runs into Obrecht. Nina is quite exuberant, and Obrecht asks why she has blackbirds singing on her shoulder. Nina says she must mean bluebirds, but Obrecht says not in Germany, because bluebirds have weak songs and harsh calls. I laugh because Obrecht is the best. Nina has an appointment with Dr. Lee so she can get pregnant.

Tracy says the inmates are running the asylum and she’s leaving.

Silas who isn’t Silas arrives with his iguana. Elizabeth is startled to see him, but he introduces him as Dr. Hamilton Finn. He asks her to put his pet Roxie in a room that’s no less than 85 degrees, gives her crickets for feeding, and off he goes.

Griffin asks Monica how Tracy is doing. She says she called in a specialist, and there he is. Monica says she never noticed the striking resemblance between Dr. Finn and Silas. Really? Really?! She introduces him to Griffin and he tells Griffin to call him “Finn.” Finn asks to see Tracy, who is packing to leave.

Obrecht says that she thought Nina couldn’t have children and Nina says Britt might have been wrong. Obrecht tells her that Britt was an excellent doctor and Nina bring up Britt’s passing off Lulu’s baby as her own. Obrecht says it was only for three months and Nina says still, she’d like to double-check.

Franco calls Nina. He’s picking up take-out for Kiki, and he asks if Nina would like to have a picnic in her office afterward.

Sam and Jason make a coffee toast to Alexis’s success with Olivia’s case. Franco comes by and asks how Jake is and asks Jason what they’re going to do about the book.

Nicholas says the only reason he’s keeping the portrait is because Spencer loved his grandmother. Hayden says you can see into her soul, but Nicholas says she didn’t have one. He says he should be grateful all she left him was a meaningless painting. Hayden says maybe it’s not so meaningless.

Hayden says she sees a reflection in the teapot that she wants to take a closer look at. Nicholas gets a little weird and wants to move the painting elsewhere.

Jason asks what book and Franco tells him about the book Helena left to Elizabeth. Apparently, Jason knows nothing about it. Franco says not to worry; he’ll see Jake through it.

Nina explains her history to Dr. Lee and how Britt told her it would be nearly impossible to conceive a child. Dr. Lee says she agrees with the results, but Nina says she has reason to believe Britt might have made a mistake and wants a second opinion.

Tracy says Monica wins and she’ll listen to Finn. Finn starts to talk and Obrecht comes in. She says that half the staff thought they were seeing the ghost of Silas and Finn has no business being there. Monica says she called him in to treat Tracy, but Obrecht says she doesn’t run the hospital. She adds she’ll procure the necessary paperwork — maybe.

Jason is miffed that Elizabeth didn’t tell him about the book. Sam says she probably didn’t think of it in all the mess that Helena’s will created. Sam gets a call from Spinelli.

Hayden keeps looking at the portrait, but Nicholas tries to take her attention away from it. She asks if she should be concerned about how bothered he is over it. She asks if he wound’t feel better if he knew what Helena was trying to tell him. He says who knows what insanity she had planned and Hayden says that’s it. What’s it?

Finn says most American doctors don’t know how to look for the infestation. He says it’s a larvae infestation — worms. Ewww! Tracy laughs at first and then asks how they got there. Finn says unsanitary conditions and asks if she ate anything from a suspicious source. She says she should have known running into Ashton was a bad omen and asks how they treat it.

Franco brings the take-out for Kiki to the hospital and Obrecht asks if they should allow chaos to reign. Apparently take-out is not allowed. She says obviously he’s overcome his doubts about becoming a father because Nina was there for an appointment with Dr. Lee. Franco asks Obrecht to hold the take-out bag and goes to the elevator.

Nina tells Dr. Lee about losing her baby when she was in a coma. Dr. Lee says she can’t promise to give Nina the news she wants to hear, but they’ll do an exam. Franco walks in and asks Nina what the hell she’s doing.

Jason approaches Elizabeth about the book. He asks to see it.

Sam doesn’t recognize the person connected with the number she had Spinelli look up. Sam asks Alexis if a client has stopped using her services, if it’s all right for her to continue on her own. Alexis says that’s up to her. Alexis says she knows what it’s like to not be able to let something go. She says she’s still wondering about the dagger. She says sometimes you know you should throw something far away, but you can’t until you get the answers.

Hayden sees the reflection of a man in the teapot. She wonders what Helena wants Nicholas to know. Nicholas says Helena would disappear when he was a kid, but he couldn’t relax because he knew she’d be back. He says this is one last mind game and he refuses to play. He says Hayden should too, and he leaves for the office.

Jason looks at the book and says it’s definitely disturbing and should be kept from Jake. Elizabeth says it’s their only clue to what happened on the island. Jason tells her not to fall into Helena’s trap. Elizabeth says if Jake does well in therapy, they should consult the therapist and see if and when Jake should see it. Jason asks if the therapist is Franco.

Dr. Lee tells Franco to get out, but he asks for a minute with Nina. Nina says it’s okay. The doctor leaves and Franco tells Nina he doesn’t want a child. She asks what changed.

Finn says they have medication and if it doesn’t work, they have other options, but they should start Tracy on it right away. He says if it wasn’t for Griffin, her condition might have gone undiagnosed. Dillon asks if he can unpack her bags. She says yes, but get her food because Obrecht feeds her prisoners slop. Obrecht comes in and says until Finn gets privileges at the hospital, he can’t treat any patients, even Tracy. I get that we’re being set up for some kind of friction here, but um…Tracy could just leave if she wanted to and he could treat her elsewhere.

Elizabeth says she was talking about Jake’s doctor. Jason says he doesn’t like Franco working with Jake and it bothers him that he’s the one who told him about the book. Elizabeth says Franco found the book, but he’s right, she should have told him. She just wanted to pretend it didn’t exist for a while. Jason says it’s dangerous, and Elizabeth says that’s why they have to find out what it means. She says they need all the help they can get and Jake opens up to Franco.

Franco tells Nina that he literally lost a child and tells her about Leo. Nina says no harm, no foul. Franco says he doesn’t think he could handle being a parent. He wants to give her everything she wants, but he’d be a nervous wreck all the time with a child. He asks why the two of them can’t be enough for one another.

Nicholas sees Alexis and she asks if he’s recovered from the will reading. She asks what happened after she left and what Helena left for him.

Hayden studies the painting. The doorbell rings. It’s Sam. Hayden tells her Nicholas is out on business. Sam says she might be interested too, in a woman named Naomi Dreyfuss.

Elizabeth says it’s about Jake, not her or Jason. He likes Franco and she cares about doing what’s best for Jake. She says they’ll work on it togethere. Jason reluctantly agrees for Jake to continue art therapy with Franco.

Franco says he loves Nina and has a life he never thought possible. He says because of her, he’s a better person. He says the magazine is a runaway success and they’re flourishing. For the first time in his life, he can say that he’s happy. Nina says she is too. He says why trade it in for constant worry and potential heartache? She says okay, they’ll leave it as is. Franco says the’ll celebrate the Crimson triumph later. He leaves, but Nina looks pretty sad. The doctor comes back in and Nina tells her to go ahead with the examination.

Obrecht says she’s chief of staff and hers is the only opinion that matters. Tracy says without the Quartermaines there would be no hospital. Obrecht says it will take a week to go through what they need to do to give Finn privileges there. Monica says she should know rules at GH are made to be broken or bypassed. Obrecht says they’re leaving themselves open for a lawsuit. Tracy says she wants Dr. Finn and they all realize he’s gone.

Finn checks into the hotel with Roxie. He says they’re going to be happy there.

Nicholas tells Alexis about the portrait. She says burn it. He says it’s evidence of Helena’s narcissism. Alexis says there’s always more to the story when it comes to Helena.

Hayden says she doens’t know who Sam is talking about. Sam says she knows the name well, and does she want to talk about it. Hayden says she doesn’t and get the hell out. After Sam leaves, she studies the painting again.

Tomorrow, Kristina asks Sonny what he did, Laura looks for answers, and Tracy tells Obrecht to find Dr. Finn stat.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Yolanda is getting ready for her speech. She says she hasn’t done any Botox in several years and it’s interesting to see how your face changes. Yeah, it’s called getting older.

The event is pretty crowded. Kathryn says a gala in NYC is a big deal. Kyle is shocked that the event is so huge. David pretends to be a supportive husband to Yolanda on the red carpet. I sneeze and it sounds like “D-bag!”

Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter, who is a Lyme disease survivor, starts the speeches. Kyle feels badly about the whole Munchausen’s conversation when one of the speakers talks about people not believing she was sick because she doesn’t look sick. Gigi, who seems like a lovely young woman, introduces Yolanda.Yolanda says she doesn’t know if it’s heartbreaking or heartwarming. Probably a combination of both.

As Yolanda speaks, we flash back to various times she was sick and also conversations about it. Yolanda says they’re going to search the globe until an affordable cure is found. Erika says this closes the chapter on misunderstandings and it’s a shame LisaR couldn’t be there. Kyle is all upset and says she can’t deal. Kathryn says ignorance isn’t an excuse. Maybe so, but it’s a reason, so shut up and educate people instead of blowing them off.

Kyle talks to Yolanda about Bella and Anwar having the disease. Yolanda says Kyle gets it on a deeper level now. Okay, okay, we get it. Everyone has the feels.

LisaV had to go to London to renew her passport, and is hoping to relax a little before the trip to Dubai. Her son Max has been working hard, and she gives him a new car. Would she like to adopt an older child? Lisa says she tells her kids she loves them every day, but her parents weren’t like that. She chalks it up to being British. Giggy!

LisaR is packing for Dubai. Harry thinks she should just bring a pair of jeans, but she says she needs at least 10 outfits. Lisa says the rules are no cursing, no dressing inappropriately, and no using your middle finger. She’s worried about leaving the kids with Harry. Harry says women think guys are always irresponsible. Well…yeah.

Eileen is excited and terrified to go to Dubai. Eileen tells Vince about how you have to cover up. The girls all talk about who they’d want for cell-mates if they got arrested. Erika says maybe LisaV could spin a web they could capture the guards with. Ha-ha!

Erika says she needs to be both glamorous and appropriate. Her gay slam squad helps her pack. My Lord, I thought I packed a lot of unnecessary things when I go on a trip. Erika actually has a look-book to help figure out her outfits.

The trip is 14 hours from Atlanta. Kyle says she wants to go, she just doesn’t want to get there and I understand completely. Love traveling, hate the process. Everyone meets at LAX. They switch planes in Atlanta.

After the fastest 14 hour flight ever, we’re in Dubai. LisaV says she feels like she’s been around the world and back already. They divvy up the rooms in the limo. Erika is going to room with Kathryn and says she’s put their past squabbles behind them.

Yolanda’s house has sold. She’s nostalgic over times with the family there, but excited to be moving on. David starts to border on being an a-hole.

Atlantis, The Palm Dubai is the hotel. Eileen says it’s like an Arabian Las Vegas experience. It’s huge and glittery with a humongous blown glass sculpture in the lobby. Holy! Lisa and Kyle’s suite is nearly 10,000 square feet.

Brandy comes to visit Yolanda. Yolanda says she’s been consistent with her support and that she’s not fake. No, Yolanda, it’s called having no filter. Brandy talks about her date the previous night and says the guy had short arms. Please. She asks how Yolanda and David are doing? Yolanda is vague.

Yolanda talks to Brandy about LisaR’s offense at her going out to lunch with Brandy and Kim, and missing Erika’s party. Brandy makes snarky comments about LisaR, which Yolanda snickers at. Kind of hypocritical. Yolanda tells her that LisaR said she has Munchhausen’s syndrome. She did not. WTF? Yolanda has been hanging out with Brandy too long and is now making it up as she goes along.

I could totally move into Kyle and LisaV’s suite. The other rooms are nothing to sneeze at either. If I went there, I might never leave my room. Although I’m sure a night there costs about as much as my husband’s yearly salary. Just look away while I drool.

LisaV has her hair piled on top of her head and even though she’s wearing a caftan, she out Hepburns Audrey Hepburn.

Everyone is wearing clothing befitting the country except for Kathryn, who stands out like a sore thumb in a short leopard print dress. Kyle gives caftans to everyone, and Kathryn wisely changes into hers, looking a million times better. They sit down to a private dinner.

LisaV asks about New York. Kyle talks about Yolanda’s speech and how two of Yolanda’s kids have Lyme disease. Erika says it’s too bad LisaR couldn’t be there. It might have answered some questions for her. Lisa says she never doubted Yolanda was sick, but she’s used it as a shield. Erika says she thinks she’s doing all she can and why would she want to miss the Dubai trip? She doesn’t think Lisa is being fair. Lisa says it’s just her opinion, but Erika says she believes Yolanda is operating at the best level she can.

Eileen says that she doesn’t get what Lisa isn’t understanding. Lisa says she feels like she’s being held to a different standard by Yolanda. She also doesn’t get Yolanda’s friendship with Brandy, and how she seems to give Brandy allowances the rest of them aren’t given. I do get what she’s saying, basically that Yolanda is surrounding herself with yes men and using her illness to her advantage, but it is her business and what I don’t get is why it’s such a big deal. I’m not so sure I wouldn’t do the same thing in her shoes, although I certainly wouldn’t be friends with Brandy. Bleh.

LisaR says the picture of Yolanda out to lunch with Brandy and Kim enraged her, which is really the wrong word to use. She says she thinks that Yolanda should have saved her energy for Erika’s dinner. She says she wants to go to bed after having lunch with Brandy and Kim. Frankly, I would too. I think they would wear out Mother Teresa and she has the patience of a saint. BA DUM CHHH! Lisa asks how Erika felt about the dinner and we have to revisit that nonsense. I’m with Erika in that they should just have fun and not rehash old crap.

Kyle suggests looking at the view which is absolutely breathtaking.

Next time, the ladies go to the beach, on a safari, and smoke hookahs; a sea lion kisses LisaV; there’s a lot of arguing; and LisaV says she’s had enough.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Randal wants to go visit Alex and Louise tells him he’s not going over there. He says he’s not a child and she says quit acting like one. She asks if he used Marcie’s credit card and why would he do that. He says why would Marcie have sex with Brad, because those two things are exactly the same. Louise says he’s just like his father. Randal asks when she started taking Marcie’s side and Louise says when she realized Marcie was right.

He asks if Louise supports Marcie sleeping with Brad, and Louise is like, no, stupid, she was right to stand by your side while you were out acting the fool. Louis says Marcie stood by Randal the way she stood by Randal’s father.

She says she was at work in her flower store and a woman in a suit came in. She told Louise she was from child services and her earnings were going to be garnished to pay for her husband’s child. (Can they do that?) When she looked at the papers, she saw her friend’s name, who had told her the child was her ex’s. She tells Randal you reap what you sow.

Randal says he didn’t fall in love with Alex on purpose. Louise says that doesn’t make it right. He says it makes him human and she says no more human than Marcie. He says she did it on purpose to hurt him. Louise asks if it did and when he says yes, Louise says she succeeded and they’re even then. Randal says he’ll have the last word. Louise says he is just like his father. Randal says he’s nothing like his father, and Louise says this version is really close. She says he left her to raise Randal and his brother alone and ran off with her friend until he got cancer.

Randal says but then she took care of him. Louise says Randal and his brother hated her for it, but what was she supposed to do, let him die? Maybe Marcie should leave him die if the same thing happens to him. He says he loves Alex and says Louise is full on Marcie’s side now. Louise says yes, she is. Randal says Louise couldn’t stand her and Louise says she’s woman enough to admit when she’s wrong. She says Randal could never admit when he was wrong. She tells him to just admit it. He says he’s not wrong and I want to smack him. Louise says fine, but he’s still not going over there.

Esperanza gives Claudia an herbal drink to calm her nerves. Claudia asks if Pete is gong to be all right. Esperanza says she doesn’t know. Claudia asks how she deals with it and Esperanza says she tries not to fill herself with anxiety and just process the information as it comes. She suggests Claudia take the day off, but Claudia says she needs the money.

Claudia says when Pete saw Eddie talking to the captain, he freaked out. She says they also don’t put rookies on the south side. Esperanza says she should stop asking questions.

Faun tells her father that he should hire Natalie back, since the restaurant is out of control. She adds that Joey is a good guy. She says she plans on seeing him again. Her father says he’s telling her mother. She says her mother knows and she heard some stories about them when they were dating. Her father starts to walk away and Faun tells him Natalie has the right to sue him because he fired her for something that her son did. She tells him to let Natalie have her job back and this can be water under the bridge. He says okay, and tries to get her to stop seeing Joey, but that’s not going to happen.

Joey is waiting for her in the car. She tells him Natalie has her job back. Quan and his lackey are in a car watching them. Quan wants his dude to follow Faun and see what she does with the receipts from the restaurant.

Kelly drops by the station to see Lushion. Esperanza tells her he’s out on a call. Kelly says it’s really deserted and Esperanza tells her that’s how it is when a cop gets shot. Kelly says she wanted to find out what’s going on between Lushion and Natalie and tells her about the house situation. Esperanza says she’ll tell Lushion that Kelly stopped by.

Brad hunts throughout the neighborhood for Alex. He goes back to the house. Rusty goes outside for a smoke. Alex is behind one of the houses with the baby. Who seems like he’s light as a feather and it’s obvious she’s holding an empty blanket. Do these people learn nothing in acting class.?

At the scene of the shooting, Lushion asks Steven why Pete wasn’t wearing a vest. He says 16 rookies have died in five years. Stephen asks why he’s researching it. Lushion says it’s right there on the apartment wall. Stephen says let’s hope they don’t add to the wall. Lushion tries to get information out of him, and Stephen says he just does what he’s told. He adds that Lushion is’t his boss.

Ben makes up something for his statement. Stephen says they’ll finish it at the station. Ben babbles something at Lushion. Lushion grills him, but Lushion notices that what he’s saying isn’t consistent with him not having any injuries. Eddie, who acts like he’s the boss, tells Lushion to get in the car. Eddie tells Ben that if Pete sings, it will be his funeral.

Faun wants to talk to Natalie, but Joey thinks it’s a bad idea. Natalie asks him what he wants and Faun asks to talk to her. Natalie says she has nothing to say to Faun. Faun tells Joey to say he’s sorry and Joey tells Natalie he’s sorry for the second time. Natalie says she doesn’t believe Joey and he’s not moving back in with her. Faun tells Natalie she has her job back. She says she and Joey are just friends now and asks when Natalie is coming back to work. Natalie says she’ll be there the day after tomorrow because she’s not going to just come running when he calls. Faun leaves. Joey tells Natalie he has nowhere else to go. Natalie relents.

Randal goes to the hospital to visit Julius’s father, who says his son has lost his mind. He’s angry and he needs Randal’s help to get to the bottom of the angry. He says he wasn’t much of a father and he needs Randal to see him through. Randal says if he’ll listen and Julius’s father says he’ll talk to him. he says he’s going to make changes to his will and his son is going to be angry. He says if Randal helps his son, he’ll — but then he starts coughing and has to put the oxygen mask back on.

Julius sees Esperanza at the station. She tells him to leave her and her family at home. He says he has to tell her something and that he’s sorry. She says there’s nothing to say. He says she got him shot, so the least she can do is listen. She asks if he had Eddie shot, but Julius says it’s called karma. She tells him to stop coming there. Julius says he misses her, but Esperanza says she’s done with him and the likes of him. He tells her she’s sleeping with a dirty cop and that he’s stealing from Julius’s guys. He says Eddie is bringing women to her house. Esperanza tells him to leave. Julius says his father is in stage four and when he’s gone, oh man.

Louise asks Marcie if everything is okay. Marcie says she’s just packing to go. She tells Louise about Alex’s father being there and says she won’t have to kill her because Rusty will, and tells her about Rusty’s racism.

Louise comes downstairs and says Randal isn’t hearing her. Marcie is right behind her and says he can’t. She says he’s blinded by anger. She knows because she was too, up until now. She only talks to Louise, not to Randal, and says Louise is wasting her breath. Randal tries to be insulting. Louise says Randal just wants a fight, but Marcie says she has none left. Randal tries to get a rise out of Marcie. She says he’s like most men, he can dish it out, but he can’t take it. She says he can’t stand the thought of his woman with another man because he doesn’t think it’s possible. He thinks he can do whatever he want, and nothing will come back to haunt him.

Randal keeps trying to get Marcie to fight. She says she begged him to sign the divorce papers, and she signed them, so as far as she’s concerned, she’s divorced. She says she’s going somewhere where she can live her life. She doesn’t want to stay there any longer and miss the best years. Randal says she can’t afford to leave. Marcie says he tried to make sure of that with the credit card. He says, guilty and she tosses her cards on the floor and says have them all. He talks about the baby and Alex and Brad and keeps trying to anger her. Lousie tells him if he keeps it up, she’s going to increase his life insurance.

Randal continues to act like an asshat, but Marcie ignores it. He asks her to come meet his son and babbles stupidly while Louise tries to get him to go back inside. Marcie puts her stuff in the car and leaves. He says, “What’s the matter? You don’t want to meet me and Alex’s son?” Rusty hears him and asks what he said.

Next time, Eddie is going to drag Ben down with him, Randal tells Rusty about his affair with Alex because he has a death wish, Julius says his father thinks he’s crazy, and Alex’s mother draws a gun.

Important information — The Real Housewives of New York City begins April 6.

March 21, 2016 — GH & Vanderpump Reunion Part One


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Curtis gives Valerie a kiss goodnight.

Jordan tells Dante the hearing is a spectacle and he should stay away. He says he’s going to support his mother.

Carly tells Olivia about the mayor’s extortion using the health department against the hotel. She says Olivia either drops the lawsuit or the MetroCourt stays closed. Since that’s the only place anyone ever goes to eat, drink or be merry, maybe they can stage a protest using all breathing citizens of Port Charles. A BLT from Kelly’s will only go so far.

Griffin says he’d love to have dinner with Brad and Lucas. In the meantime, he’d like a look at Tracy’s test results.

Dillon calls Ned to come home.

Tracy had a dream that Alan was waiting for her. Monica says it’s just the medication, but Tracy says it’s a message from her subconscious that she’s dying.

Dillon tells Ned they’re getting the results today. One doctor thinks it’s cancer and the other thinks it’s something else, but either way, she’s bad.

Tracy says she has spots on her brain and seizures, but there’s pudding, so it’s not all bad. She tells Monica she needs to prepare for the worst and so does Monica. Monica says she’s not going to let Tracy die. Tracy says she doesn’t want to end up a vegetable.

Griffin says Dr. Mays is a good doctor, but over time even a good doctor can become less curious and more rigid. Uh-oh, Dr. Mays caught Brad giving Griffin the test results. Why did they do that in the hallway?

Dante sees Curtis and Valerie. They tell him about the grand they just won.

Julian shows up at the hearing. Molly and Kristina start talking about Crimson, but Julian has no clue what’s going on with the magazine.

Nina is getting a call from Barbara Walters’s people for an interview. No surprise, the whole Crimson thing is going through the roof and trending on social media. Dante shows up and Maxie tells him the thousand dollars has already been claimed, but there are other prizes to be won. He says he’s there for her and shows her a pair of handcuffs.

Carly says she can get Sonny’s help, but she wanted to check with how serious Olivia is before calling a garbage and sanitation strike. Oh, is Sonny in that business too? Wink-wink.

Dr. Mays tells Brad it was a bad move throwing in with the new guy. Griffin says they all have the patient’s best interest at heart. Dr. Mays says they’re both going to be fired.

Monica says don’t give her that responsibility when Tracy has two sons. Tracy says she knows Monica will do the right thing and not get all sentimental. Monica leaves and sees Dillon in the hall. She says Tracy is just being Tracy. Dillon says Tracy might not say it, but she loves Monica. Monica says she doesn’t know how it happened, but she came to love Tracy too. They hug and the now out of bed Tracy tells Monica to get her hands off Ned.

Dante tells them they were littering. Nina says it’s journalism and free enterprise and Maxie tells him that they have their own clean-up crew on it. Nina says she called because they’re a victim of corporate espionage. Dante says that’s not in the PCPD jurisdiction; it’s Federal. He leaves and Curtis says it’s in his jurisdiction though.

Carly tells Alexis a garbage strike will be effective. Alexis says what she wants to do will be legal. Lomax approaches Carly and says she’d hate to see the MetroCourt lose its five-star rating. Carly says she doesn’t think it will come to that.

Alexis says she has another solution, but she needs Carly’s help to make it happen.

Tracy keeps talking like Dillon is Ned. She snaps out of it and apologizes.

Nina says she remembers Curtis from New Year’s Eve. Valerie says he used to be in law enforcement. Curtis says he can go places and do things the regular police force can’t and the Feds won’t take a case unless it’s tied with a bow first. Valerie says she’ll vouch for him and Nina says he’s hired.

Alexis makes her opening statement. She wants injunctive relief and wants the court to enforce a law that’s already on the books. She also wants punitive damages for Olivia. Diane says the defense will prove that the case is frivolous and should be thrown out of court with prejudice. That means it can’t be tried elsewhere. I know that from watching The People’s Court. The first witness is Olivia.

Monica tells Dillon to find Dr. Mays and get the test results while she settles Tracy back in. Tracy asks if Monica understands and Monica says she’ll honor Tracy’s health care directive.

Griffin says he should take the rap for the entire thing, since it was his idea. Brad says the new and improved Brad doesn’t throw his friends under the bus. He adds that he looked at the biopsy results before Dr. Mays took them and made a copy.

Dr. Mays comes in with the results. He says the good news is, Tracy doesn’t have cancer. The bad news is he has no idea what it is. Don’t confer with Griffin or anything, you old coot.

Dillon says he thought the biopsy would tell them what’s wrong. Dr. Mays says it only narrows the possibilities. Tracy wants to go home, but Monica says that’s a no. Dillon asks what they do now. find someone who knows

Brad says whatever is going on with Tracy, he’s never seen it before. Griffin says he has. Dr. Mays comes out and asks for Griffin.

Nina fills Curtis in on what’s happened with the past two Crimson issues. Nina says she’s going to pay Curtis herself and Julian isn’t going to know anything until Curtis finds out what’s going on. She and Maxie leave for the courthouse. Curtis makes Valerie his assistant. He talks about their next date and Valerie says he promised to tell her why Jordan hates him first.

Olivia takes the stand. Her testimony is interspersed with Lomax’s testimony. Lomax feels that breast feeding isn’t appropriate in a public place. Olivia says Lomax threatened to have her arrested and Diane asks if it was for public indecency. Olivia says it was for assaulting the mayor. Lomax says she was “bumped into,” and Alexis asks how many stitches it required. Ha-ha! Alexis asks if charges were brought and Lomax says no.

Carly takes the stand. Diane asks what her staff told her, and Carly and I both ask if that isn’t hearsay. Something I learned from Judge Judy. Diane says something about it being a relaying of a conversation, and although that would never fly with Judy, the judge says it’s admissible. One of the employees said that Olivia went off on the mayor and almost flipped a table on her.

Jordan takes the stand and explains the legalities of breast feeding in public. Diane asks if there have ever been any complaints and Jordan says not to her knowledge. The defense and prosecution rest. Fastest. Hearing. Ever.

Griffin says he can understand why the lesions were mistaken for cancer. He asks what Tracy consumed while she was in Mexico. Tracy remembers Larry offering her some local delicacies he picked up in town the night they smoked weed together. She leaves the weed part out though. Griffin says she needs an infectious disease doctor.

Curtis says after Jordan’s husband was killed, she and Curtis were partners for a while with the DEA, but it didn’t work out. Valerie asks why he didn’t just tell her that, and he says he was using it as bait for another date, even though I’m sure there’s more to the story.

Diane says Olivia wasn’t prevented from breast feeding and Lomax was only giving an opinion, which is her right. Alexis counters that it might be the literal truth, but the word of a high elected official carries a lot of weight and it’s imposing a belief of what is good and proper. She wants the court to close the gap between the legislature’s intent and the law. Lots of legal stuff today!

The judge says he sympathizes but there are flaws in the case. Carly walks in with a woman and a baby. The woman starts to breastfeed. The judge says a courtroom is hardly the appropriate place. More women and babies come in. Lomax says what’s natural to them is offensive to others. Nina talks about being topless and asks why it’s okay for men and not women. Alexis says by law in New York, it is. Lomax says most people don’t want to see it. I dunno about that. There seem to be plenty of people — okay, mostly men — who want their picture taken with the naked painted ladies in Times Square. The judge bangs his gavel and says the court is out of order. Nina takes off her top and says what’s out of order about these?

Maxie is next and everyone starts taking off their tops. Nina is filming it all with her phone. The judge says it all really wasn’t necessary because he was finding for the plaintiff anyway.

Nina tells Julian that Crimson is trending nationally and she’s going to make the magazine a success. BTW, we are seeing the Crimson cover with Olivia everywhere and of course it’s beautiful.

Carly tells Diane to tell the mayor that if she doesn’t drop the bogus health order, she’ll sue her and the city. Lomax says she has no case, but Diane says record will show that she does. Lomax reminds Diane that she’s her lawyer and Diane says her long-standing relationship with the Corrinthos family trumps that. It’s a win for everyone, except Lomax.

Diana tells Alexis just so she knows, she let her win. The mayor tells Alexis she’s made an enemy.

Dr. Mays says he’s still going to fire Brad and Griffin. He says they’re done at GH and done with medicine. He says he would have figured it out sooner or later.

Tracy tells Monica her wishes still stand. Monica says it’s unnecessary, but if anything changes Tracy can count on her.

Monica calls a doctor she met at a conference and tells him that she has a case that’s confounding everybody and she thinks he can help. It’s Silas petting an iguana. Alrighty then!

Tomorrow, a divorce happens, Nina goes to a fertility doctor and Franco meets with Jason.

Vanderpump Rules — The Reunion, Part One

First, as much as she annoys me, I have to say Stassi looks good with a few more pounds on her and whatever she’s doing makeup/filler wise. She mentioned that she was so thin during the first season because she couldn’t afford food. I understand. The thinnest I ever was, was during some unemployed years when I was malnourished.

Ok, let’s roll.

Shouldn’t Giggy be at this reunion? Andy calls Lisa the headmistress of SUR and that pretty much fits. Lala claims she’s sober. Maybe.

James is suspended from PUMP again. Andy asks Lisa how it is to employ two people who hate each other as much as James and Jax do. James says he doesn’t hate Jax, but Jax says James is lucky he’s on probation or he’d punch his face in. We’re off to a great start! Lisa says Jax is an a-hole, but he’s her a-hole. Only we can make fun of our pledges. (Animal House reference.)

James’s drinking is brought up and we begin with the Decades party. Lisa says he’s one of those people whose personality changes with the crack of a bottle opening. We go down Memory Lane with James lying his face off to Kristen. It’s funny how these kids use old words like banging and boning. I hear they just discovered vinyl records too. Eeew! James is giving us TMI about Kristen’s cheating. I really don’t want to know what anything smelled like, kay?

Andy asks Lisa about how she hired James, and if his main goal was to get on the show. Kristen tries to answer and Lisa tells her to shut up. Aa-ha! in Nelson voice. Lisa talks about James’s mom asking her to give him a job and somehow it moves to Kristen hooking up with James to annoy Tom. Kristen talks about how James lived off of her. James calls her a sugar momma and a cougar. I think she’s a little young to be one of those.

Lala says this was her first real job. Oh Lord, I’d had like five jobs and two apartments by the time I was her age. And I was going to school. And partying. They talk about how Lala lied about being a model when she started on the show, when really it was rich guys taking her to exotic places. She claims she’s lost count of how many trips she’s scored, but she never slept with any of them. I choke on my coffee.

They talk about Jax’s pursuit of Lala. Lala says they’re similar, when they see someone new, it’s a challenge and it’s fun to flirt. Andy says Jax forgot that Brittany existed. Jax says it’s more like he just set the girlfriend thing aside for a minute, whatever that means. Lala says she thought he was single because that’s the impression he was giving. Lala says it’s intimidating coming into a group like this. I have to agree with her there. Scheana says she resents having been called a bully.

Commercial break. the new season of Southern Charm begins April 4. The guys on that show are even bigger losers than the Vanderpump crowd. At least they have their youth as an excuse. Okay, except for Jax. The Real Housewives of Dallas also begins April 11.

Michael Shay (for our purposes, Shay) joins the group. No surprise, they talk about his substance abuse that was a large part of the past season. He says it started before he and Scheana were dating. He started taking Vicodin when he got a sports injury. Andy asks why Scheana waited so long to say something and she says she kept thinking it would pass. Lisa was disappointed in how he handled things in blaming Scheana. They talk about how they had the rest of the group there when everything came out in the open.

Scheana says she’d told Jax about it, but he says he doesn’t remember. Scheana says Jax doesn’t listen. Andy calls him a colander and he doesn’t know what that means. To his credit, Jax apologizes for being an idiot when he went on and on about how it was Scheana’s fault. Andy brings up Scheana thinking that Shay could party somewhat even though he’s an addict. We flash back to some of her enabling. Scheana tears up and says she did the best she could with the knowledge that she had.

Tom says that sometimes Scheana used Shay’s illness to talk down to him. Lisa defends Scheana, saying she’s seen her being uplifting to Shay. Scheana says that she’s changed her way of looking at things and her behavior. Lala apologizes. She says being an outsider looking in, you don’t know what’s really going on behind the scenes. Probably one of the few mature remarks we’ll hear during the reunion.

They talk about Shay quitting the pills cold turkey without meetings. Lisa says she doesn’t get that and Shay says one of the things he feared was her judgment. Lisa says she was angry at him for lying to Scheana. Shay says it’s been tough because it’s been their first year of marriage along with him kicking his addictions, but he says if he hadn’t been married, he probably wouldn’t have cleaned up his act. The conversation ends on an up note, with Lisa saying Scheana is Shay’s greatest asset and him agreeing.

Next on the agenda is Ariana’s 30th birthday party. It was a kiddie theme because she wanted to do something out of the ordinary. They talk about Lala not being invited and Tom going to Vegas when Ariana needed him. We flash back to her telling Tom about her birthday issues and missing her father. Lisa says they’re all ridiculous and should take their relationships more seriously, instead of going to Vegas, which was “built for trouble.” I’ve never been there and have no desire to go.

They talk about the girls dipping into the lady pond, which Lala claims never to have done, and Andy says he’s never been with a woman either. Then everyone confesses everything or not. Zzzzz…. The Toms getting Vegas tattoos is discussed. Katie says she actually likes Schwartz’s “Bubba” tattoo, but Tom says he basically Googled “cool” and came up with the letter “A.” How drunk was he? While he had one laser treatment done, which we saw on the show, he hasn’t had another yet. No doubt Bravo was footing the bill for the first one.

Kristen’s apology tour is revisited. James says it was bs and Ariana agrees. They think she was only apologizing because she wanted to be invited to Hawaii. They go back and forth about Ariana having kissed Tom while he was living with Kristen and Kristen sleeping with several other people, including Jax, while she was living with Tom . Lisa thinks her apologies were self-serving. Probably.

Tom says she got advice from her therapist and has been regurgitating it the whole season. Andy asks if there’s anything Kristen can do to make Tom at peace with her. Tom says he already is and then he and Kristen argue about who was whose friend first. Tom says he’s cool, but he has things to say if asked and a lot of damage has been done. That doesn’t sound at peace to me.

Lala says she thought she and Kristen were good, but then Kristen talked smack behind her back. Kristen says Lala was hooking up with her ex-boyfriend. She says she doesn’t like the things Lala has said on social media. Lala says Kristen is fake. Kristen says she’s the least fake person in the world and Lala says, no, me. Ariana says Kristen can say she owns this or that, but she has no idea of the ripple effect her actions have caused.

Everyone starts talking at once. And using the f-word.

Next time, The Reunion — Part Two, James says Jax is jealous, Stassi joins the group, and so does Brittany.

March 20, 2016 — An Exhausting Night of TV


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

When we last left him, Hook had to decide which of his friends would be staying in the Underworld. He refuses. Hades says he’s disappointed…and angry. He sends Hook to solitary. He tells Hook if he touches the River of Lost Souls, he’ll be lost, so he’d better keep his hands inside the boat.

Gold finds a note from Peter saying that the shop is his to do what he wants. He cooks up some eye of newt stuff in a cauldron. He looks into a crystal ball and sees Belle. He drops the ball, smashing it.

The others are planning on springing Hook. Gold comes in to discourage them from their plan. He has an aura of a dead person that he can give himself and Emma to get through. He knows someone who will give them their aura.

Back in the old days, a snake has bitten Gold’s son.

Gold sees his wife as a crossing guard in the Underworld. He tells her he’s not dead, just visiting. He says her job is ironic, keeping children safe. He asks her if she wants to go on a romantic adventure and says they need to get Hook. She says she’s responsible for the children, and he says, um… they’re dead already. He asks if she’ll help him if it means saving Hook. Hmm….

Hook is being held by Hades above the River of Lost Souls. Hades tells Hook that they brought contraband into his world, which is forbidden, and he still sees hope in Hook’s eyes. He wants it to be gone before Hook reaches the water. He tells Hook to feel free to go mad.

Gold introduces Mila, his ex-wife (and Hook’s ex), to Emma. Mila is like, you’ve been with my ex-lover and son (Neil). Gold says they’ll laugh about it one day.

Regina approaches Cruella. She wants to know how to find someone in the graveyard. Cruella says let’s sit down and be civilized.

Gold, Mila and Emma join hands to get through a barrier to the low place of the Underworld. The Under Underworld, if you will. The door slams shut behind them.

Olden days Gold and his wife approach a witch doctor for a snake bite cure. He says the potion is very rare and will cost 100 gold pieces. They don’t have it and leave, but Mila says they’ll come back and take it.

Emma thanks Mila and tells her that she’s had a vision of Neil and he’s moved on and is happy. Whatever he had to resolve, is done. They’re at the River of Lost Souls where there’s a boat. Mila says they can take it to Hook. She has her reasons to want to come with them.

Regina asks if she finds a headstone if that means the person is in “Underbrooke.” Cruella says no, it might mean they’re just passing through. Cruella happens to have a cemetery plot map on her, which is pretty convenient. One color means they’re there, another they’re just passing through and another means they’ve moved on.

Emma, Gold and Mila take the boat to where Hook is. Gold tells Emma he’s staying in the boat and she’ll be fine on her own. Mila stays with him.

Olden days Mila buys a dagger with their last gold coin for Gold/Rumpel to kill the witch doctor. She tells him to do something brave for once. He leaves and some brute tries to pick Mila up. Hook intervenes. He introduces himself. Mila asks him if it’s wonderful to travel the ocean. He says it’s pretty amazing and asks her if she’d like to see it. She says she has responsibilities of a husband and child. I’m guessing they “hooked” up later? Hahahahaha!

Hook dangles over the water and drops further down when Emma comes in. She walks out onto a platform above the water toward him. I love the sets in this show! She manages to grab Hook and get him onto something stable. He tells her she should leave. Of course she won’t. Like she traveled all that way just to leave him there.

Mila talks to Gold while they’re waiting. She tells him her unfinished business wasn’t Hook, it was their son. She should have been there for him instead of punishing him because she hated Rumpel. She wants to move on so she can see him and apologize. Gold says he betrayed him as well and was forgiven, and he’ll forgive Mila.

Rumpel sneaks into the witch doctor’s tent. The doctor wakes up and says he cold kill Rumpel with a single spell, but does nothing because he knows Rumpel doesn’t have the guts to kill him. He asks how much Rumpel’s son means to him. Rumpel says everything. He says Rumpel can leave with the cure and they can make a deal. He says he would trade anything to save his son.

Hades shows up, but tells Gold he’s not there to fight. He wants to make a deal.

Snow meets Regina in the graveyard. They find Daniel Colter’s grave. Regina knows he’s not there and happy. She says he was her first love and will always live in her heart.

Gold has a drink with Hades who says he’s a fan. He says he’s been a good supplier of souls. He wants Gold to sink the boat so that his friends don’t have a way out. Gold says he can do it himself. Hades says he could, but he wants Gold to do it. Gold says Mila already saw Hades, but Hades says Gold can figure that one out.

Rumpel brings the cure back and says he didn’t even have to steal it. He says he didn’t want his son to grow up with a monster as a father, so he signed a paper saying he’d give the witch doctor his second child. Mila says he sold their future. He says the son they already have is all the future they need. Mila says thanks for deciding her future for her. Typical man. She says she’s going to the tavern.

Gold destroys the boat and tells Mila, congratulations, he’s finally become the man she wanted him to be — the one who takes what he needs. He dumps her into the river.

Emma and Hook appear, and Gold tells them Hades blew his magic back at him and that’s how Mila disappeared.

Regina and Snow come upon a hurt horse. Regina cures it and it gives her a thank you look. Snow is surprised that Regina’s magic worked.

Hook, Emma and Gold join the others. Hook says they lost the boat and a friend though. He tells Gold he should kill him, but he did help him get out, so they’re even for now. Gold says he just wants to get home and you’re welcome. Regina tells them her magic is working and as soon as they find an exit, they can get out. All of a sudden her magic won’t work though.

Regina, Snow and Emma are stuck in the Underworld.

Gold pops back to where the witch doctor lives, in full Rumpel regalia. He says the doctor took advantage of him and he admires that, but he wants to dissolve the contract. He says he can’t owe a debt to a dead man and takes his heart, saying he loves a loophole.

Gold comes to see Hades. He says he destroyed the boat, now send him home. Hades says things have changed. He’ll send him home, but not today. He says Gold tried to hide something from him and looks into the crystal ball to see Belle. He says he did a little digging and thinking, and knows Gold was trying to figure out where his son went. He says Belle is an image of his next child because Belle is pregnant. He produces the witch doctor. He says death doesn’t nullify a contract in the Underworld and the doctor signed it over to him. He says at any time he can cash the debt in and take Gold’s baby.

All magic comes with a price. The price is that Gold works for Hades. And there’s something he needs Gold to do that only he can do.

Next week, Hook begins a mutiny, Hook’s brother shows up, and Hook wants to move on from Emma.

The Walking Dead

All seems calm in Alexandria. Carol is back and on the porch having a smoke. Morgan is practicing free masonry. Rick comes by to see Morgan. Morgan is building a jail cell to give him some choices next time.

Why are we seeing the same scene we just saw? Different perspectives? Yes. Carol examines her rosary and Rosita gets dressed.

Daryl takes a toy soldier out of a pouch and tosses it aside. Carol comes by and he asks for a smoke. They’d better start growing tobacco if they want to keep this up. She asks about the people who stole his bike after he saved them. He says he should have killed them.

Daryl asks what the Saviors did to Carol and Maggie. She says they didn’t do anything.

Spencer asks Rosita what they’re doing. She says dinner, but I think he means about their relationship.

Denise shows Daryl where an apothecary is and asks to go on the next run. He asks how much time she’s spent on the outside. She says none, but she can identify the drugs there. She says she’ll go alone if she has to.

Daryl, Denise and Rosita go on a run. Daryl is having a hard time driving a stick (something I find more unbelievable than zombies existing) and Denise tells him she can drive one. He stops the car and he and Rosita get out. Rosita dispatches a zombie and goes through his pockets.

They get Denise and decide to walk. Rosita wants to take the railroad tracks and separates from Daryl and Denise.

Eugene and Abe discuss being a man. Eugene says, the key to survival is allowing oneself to be shaped by the environment. He says he’s changed and adapted and he’s a survivor. Abe says keep telling yourself that.

Denise and Daryl meet Rosita at the crossroad. Denise asks Rosita who taught her to fight. She says a lot of people taught her a lot of things. Everyone is a font of information tonight. They approach the apothecary and Daryl opens the door with a crowbar.

Abe and Eugene enter a building. Abe asks what they’re doing. Eugene says they’re going to manufacture bullets, using spent casings. I’m not sure why someone hasn’t suggested this before, even though Abe acts like it’s “outside the box” thinking. A zombie comes in and Eugene wants to be the one to kill it, but it has metal over it’s head and Abe steps in. Eugene says he had dibs and Abe says he’d have better luck picking up a turd by the clean end. Eugene says killing zombies is in his skill set and Abe says manufacturing bullets is in his skill set. Eugene says he doesn’t need Abe or his protection anymore. Abe tells Eugene to find his own way back. Why did Eugene act like such a d-bag there?

Commercial break. Fear 462. Potential zombie dispatched. Obrecht freaking out. Plane window cracked.

Rosita, Daryl and Denise enter the apothecary. They find the pharmacy area. Rosita breaks open the gate. Daryl says they’re going to take everything. They probably should. They’ll need it sooner or later. They hear some noises and Denise decides she’s going to kill whatever it is. What is up with the minor characters proving their bravery tonight?

Denise opens a door to an empty crib and a bunch of garbage. There’s a zombie wearing a cast on the floor and a sink full of blood with a little sneaker floating in it. WTF? Denise runs out of the room and goes outside. She sits on the sidewalk and is bummed by everything.

Daryl and Rosita come out. Daryl tells her she did good finding the place. Rosia says she tried to tell Denise she wasn’t ready. They walk back to the car.

Denise tells Daryl about her brother Denis. She says he was brave and angry, a dangerous combination. Daryl says it sounds like they had the same brother. Denise approaches a car and a zombie pops up making us both jump. She thinks there’s a cooler in the car they can use. Daryl tells her forget it, but she decides to try anyway. The zombie grabs her and they tumble to the ground. Denise makes her first zombie kill. Guess she was a little ready. She throws up. Okay, maybe not so much ready. She lost her glasses in the frey and finds soda in the cooler. Daryl says she could have died. She says if you want to live, you take chances. He says, for a couple of sodas? She says, no, just his one

Rosita asks if she’s that’s stupid. Denise asks her if she is. Denise says she’s training for this, and not making it up to go along. She says she asked them to be with her because Daryl is brave and Rosita is stronger than she thinks she is, giving Denise hope. She says she cold have gone with Tara and told her she loved her, but she was afraid. She says she needed to do this and can’t believe they’re not being supportive. She says they’re strong and they’re smart and —

Hole m-f-ing-f! Denise gets an arrow though the eye while she’s talking and a huge group of guys come out of the woods. They have Eugene. I think I’ve stopped breathing forever.

Dwight, on of the people who stole Daryl’s bike, asks Daryl if he has something to say. Nope. A couple of the men pat Rosita and Daryl down on the ground. Daryl says he should have killed him. Dwight says yeah, he probably should have, and asks who brought this on who? He says she wasn’t who he was aiming for. He says it’s not how they like to start new business arrangements, but he didn’t start this. By the way, he used Daryl’s crossbow to kill Denise.

Rosita asks what they want. He says they’re going to let them into Alexandria and take whatever or whoever they want, or they’re going to blow all three of their brains out. Eugene tells them to start with whoever is hiding behind the barrels and that he deserves it more than they do.

One of the guys goes to check it out and Eugene bites Dwight in the man parts. Chaos ensues with everybody shooting and then zombies joining the mix. I still haven’t started breathing again. Dwight manages to escape getting shot and those who are left flee into the woods. Daryl starts to follow, but Rosita stops him.

Wow. This sux. Eugene is wounded too. Rosita says the f-word, even though we don’t hear it. Denise lies dead on the railroad tracks.

The rest make it back to Alexandria. Eugene tells Abe he wasn’t trying to kill him and asks for an apology for trashing his skills. Abe apologizes and says welcome to stage two. Abe goes to see Sasha. She asks if he’s okay. He says she told him he has choices and that she does too. He says it could be 30 years for them there. She asks him to come inside.

Daryl and Carol bury Denise. Carol tells Daryl he was right.

Carol leaves a note for Tobin. She says she didn’t want it to end this way. They have everything they need and other people want it. She says she loves them all and would have to kill for them and she can’t. She says she wound up staying, but can’t anymore. She can’t love anyone because she can’t kill for anyone and asks that they not come after her. It’s thar same beginning scene again and Morgan sees Carol’s empty swing.

Next week, Rick gets a message, Daryl goes off on his motorcycle (presumably not to find himself), and Rick tells everyone to get ready for a fight.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — The Reunion — Part One

Kandi is looking awesome and says baby Ace is doing well. Kim looks the best I’ve seen her like she’s channeling Marilyn Monroe. We take a trip down Memory Lane with some flashbacks from the season.

Andy asks why gave the best shade, and called Phaedra “Shadera.” Ha-ha! We go over some insults from the past season. Kenya gets into it with Phaedra pretty quickly. Go for it, Kenya, because I’ve started to dislike Phaedra intensely.

Andy asks Porsha about trashing Kenya’s new product and she says it was fun. Either she didn’t understand the question or she’s even more stupid than I thought. Next up is Kandi’s baby and family drama. After the flashbacks, Todd joins the group. Baby Ace has over 100K Instagram followers. And they haven’t even shown a picture of him yet. I’m speechless.

They talk about the restaurant venture. They’re hoping to open on Kandi’s birthday. They follow with TMI about Kandi’s breast milk.

Andy asks Sheree how it’s been being back on the show. Sheree says it was all good. They talk about Kim’s first season. Are there more flashbacks than usual? Andy asks Kim if she thinks the show is a good fit for her. She says it was entertaining. Andy asks the other women what they think. It’s a no for Kenya. She says Kim is pretty condescending. Kandi says Kim doesn’t want to deal with confrontation and a that’s what a lot of the show is about. Phaedra and Porsha kind of say the same thing, that she doesn’t engage and is judgmental. Porsha says she expected her to be “the aunt” of the group. Kim says she’s more opinionated than judgmental. Cynthia says she didn’t really hang out with the group and Kim says most people don’t know she’s shy.

They talk about the trip to Washington. Kim says it was presented as an educational tool. Sheree asks why she thought it wasn’t appropriate for the kids then. Sheree says it was a good experience for her son, however, he is nineteen and Kim’s kids are still pretty small. Personally, I think Kim is a compelling choice for the show, but she did seem like she didn’t want to be a part of it a lot of the time. I understand wanting some free travel and a weekly paycheck, but still.

The topic of Phaedra not paying Todd for the exercise video comes up. Well, Andy brings it up as Chief Pot Stirrer. Phaedra says she’s made every step to move toward a better place. Kandi says they both want things to be better. Kandi brings up several idiotic remarks Phaedra made. Phaedra says again that she’s done what she can and she was annoyed about Apollo’s stuff being at their house without her knowledge.

Phaedra says that Kandi claimed she was trying to get sympathy, but that wasn’t the case, and she’s not fake, she’s just trying to be polite. They talk about Apollo’s stuff again. Kandi says she didn’t think it was any kind of secret. The Todd thing comes up again and we are caught in a loop. Phaedra says she’s paid up now, as of last week. Convenient timing.

Andy asks if Kandi’s “team” overstepped their boundaries. Kandi doesn’t think so, and neither do I. Phaedra says it’s unprofessional for employees to act like friends. They are friends, so how should they behave? Porsha puts in her two cents. If she had half a brain, she’d be dangerous.

The topic of physical violence comes up. Porsha talks about Kenya’s big mouth, but Kenya says she’s never actually put her hands on anyone, unlike Porsha. Andy catches Kenya texting Matt about the dog. Flashbacks about Kim and Kenya’s continuous altercation.

Kim does give Kenya compliments on Kenya’s flair for comedy, and that she’s not afraid to be a pretty girl who’s not playing “pretty.” That’s a nice compliment, although Kenya says that Kim threw shade when she watched Kenya’s pilot with her husband. Kim says her problem isn’t with Kenya’s acting, but with her personally. Sheree wonders where this Kim has been all year.

They talk about the commercial for Cynthia’s eye wear. More talk about Kenya and Kim, and Kenya apologizing to Kim. Porsha, who can’t stand that it’s not about her, talks about her own apology to Kenya for going crazy on her at the last reunion, and says it’s wasn’t accepted. Kenya says that’s because she never apologized. Cynthia tells Porsha she needs to cool down and we see Porsha’s attack on Cynthia. I heard we’re going to see some footage regarding Porsha’s attack on one of her assistants. A budding Naomi Campbell. If she was better looking and had a brain.

Kim is talking about something when Kenya interrupts, then Porsha interrupts Kenya, so I have no idea what anyone just said. Andy asks if Kenya is jealous of Kim. Kenya says Kim was a child star and she can’t compare that, but Kim is in her playing field now and is low man on the totem pole. She talks about Kim acting more high and mighty than she should. She says she’s not personally offended, but thinks Kim is arrogant.

Kandi says she enjoys seeing Kim “boss up,” since she’s usually quiet. Kim gets excited over the support. Kenya talks about Kim and her husband belittling her. Kim interrupts about Kenya interrupting. I’m lost. Kim says interruption is a form of bullying. Kenya says she’s the one who’s been bullied on the show.

Next week, part two, Apollo won’t let go, a revisit to Sheree’s wig pull, Peter joins the group, and Porsha accuses Kenta of dating a married one-eyed African. Is he rich?

I Am Cait

It’s snowing in New Mexico. The ladies meet for breakfast. Candis has a date. Candis says she’s not that excited, since her online dating experience so far as been dismal.

Cait’s new driver’s license arrives. The photo is great, but both Kim and Kourtney helped her get ready, so that’s cheatinh. Cait says it’s kind of like throwing old Bruce out the door. Cait says he was a good person who did a lot of good things, and in some ways didn’t deserve to disappear, but she had to move forward. It’s not that she wanted to throw him away; he just wasn’t her. It’s a huge moment and she gives a mini eulogy.

Cait is gong to NY to receive Glamour’s Woman of the Year award and says it’s for all of them.

Candis is about to meet her date. Cait says she sees what the other women go through and thinks the rejection is difficult. While the ladies have drinks at one of the bar’s tables, Candis waits at another table for her date. Who doesn’t show. Zackary and Cait join her. Candis goes back to the table with everyone. Geez.

The ladies go to a farm that has animal therapy to pet Silkie chickens. They’re pretty cute. The producer asks Candis if she can relate the chicken experience to her dating situation and she makes a cock joke. The therapist says that it’s hard to tell whether Silkies are male or female. The irony isn’t lost.

Next is a Salsa class. The dancing, not the dip. Cait says she’s not comfortable dancing with guys. She’s afraid that the tabloids will get pictures as well. Candis says Cait hasn’t embraced that part of her feminine side yet and says she’ll be her dancing partner. I can totally understand why Cait would be uncomfortable here.

It’s time for Cait to leave for NYC. The rest of the group is going on to Tulsa. Candis talks about a friend of hers who works a drag show in Chicago. She wants to do a number with her and Chandi. Chandi says she misses the old days when she used to perform.

They stop at a restaurant and aren’t allowed to eat there. The restaurant owner didn’t want them there when he found out what show was being filmed. Kind of sad. Next is a rock climbing gym. These girls have more energy than I could ever hope to have. I would have been totally bummed after the restaurant scene too. Chandi breaks a nail and she’s done. They’ve also joined up with two male trans models who they invite to dinner.

They reconvene at a place called Legends that has a mechanical bull. What vitamins do they take? Candis considers dating a trans guy.

Cait is getting her makeup done. She talks about how her greatest fear was once being thought of as a freak, and how everyone has been so accepting. She gets to the red carpet. Kylie is supposed to be her date, but she’s late, so Cait has to go on by herself.

Kylie meets Cait at the hotel later. She says her dressed totally ripped, but Cait says they could have worked around it. Cait says she’s disappointed, but at least Kylie made it for the actual award show, which I guess we don’t get to see.

The rest of the gang heads for Chicago. I’m exhausted just watching this episode. Cait meets them there. Candis tells Cait about the drag show. Debbie Downer Jenny says that some come from a showbiz universe and some don’t, but she looks at things from a different perspective. Instead of seeing life as a performance, she wants to see it in reality. (Can’t it be both?) Chandi talks about how those were the roots and the saving grace of many a trans person, and while she gets where Jenny is coming from, she’s surprised she doesn’t understand the other side of it as well.

Chandi talks to Candis about how Jenny feels about drag. Candis says that Jenny and Cait come from a different place, and they hid things differently. Chandi says drag helped save her from being a gay boy in a closet. She talks about her parents, who sound like good people. She starts to cry and Candis hugs her. She works with young people and takes a lot of their problems to heart, even though she comes off as happy-go-lucky most of the time.

Out to the bar at the hotel. Cait is wearing a really cool graphic sweater that has a tape measure across it. The girls are mingling. Candis says Cait doesn’t know how to flirt with men and wants to leave. Cait goes back to her room.

She and Candis get together for some girl talk before bed. Candis says she’s hoping Cait will be open to new dating situations. Cait says she sees the struggle of going out with someone and then them not wanting to be seen together and says she couldn’t handle it. Candis asks what her main fear is, and Cait says she hasn’t even been able to approach the subject with a man yet.

Cait says she thought about bringing up the possibility of her dating to Kylie, and she couldn’t even think about it. Cait says her dating a man might be confusing for the kids. Candis says she’s allowed to go out and have fun and experiment. Cait says maybe it will help thinking of it as an experiment. Candis says they both need to broaden their horizons.

Jenny and Zackary talk about the show. Jenny says she wants to celebrate everyone’s way of being, but also celebrate her own. Zackary says the trans community is split on the issue, but friends should support each other. She says embracing differences is Jenny’s challenge. Jenny says she understands that the drag world saved Chandi’s life.

It’s been a long time since Chandi performed and she’s nervous. Candis does a performance with another performer and they introduce Chandi — now Chandelier. Of course she’s fabulous.

Cait says everyone is taking risks on the trip, and even Jenny is shoving dollar bills in Chandi’s bra. Chandi says it was a reconnecting moment with yourself. She says no matter who you are you can enjoy drag.

Next week, a protest, public speaking and the democratic debate.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Is it over yet? Where did these women come from anyway? I actually like the Australian guy the best.

Gizelle is meeting with a skin chemist. She’s starting a makeup an skincare line. The chemist says they need a focus group and Gizelle knows just the women.

It’s Katie’s twins’ birthday. She and Andrew have the same couch pillow I do. It’s in a Southwestern design with a buffalo on it. Katie tells Andrew she needs a vacation from her vacation. I’ll bet. She tells him about the sister circle and how it was a downer. She leaves out the part about Gizelle being an idiot. She’s also decided to put casino night on the back burner for a few months because she has other things that need her attention. And one of them isn’t going to be Gizelle’s focus group either.

Karen is planning an event in memory of her mother-in-law to fight against Altzheimers. She wants it to be a magical evening, as well as an informative one. Karen’s husband joins them and Karen asks for entertainment suggestions. Karen’s assistant gives him some options, but he wants to scale it down. He asks for time alone with Karen and they discuss it. He feels his mother’s death is still too raw for such a huge event.

Gizelle has rented a bar to do the focus groups. I’ve done focus groups and this is pretty swanky. Usually, you just sit around a table and discuss. Ashley approaches Gizelle about the incident at the beach. Gizelle says it wasn’t so much that her husband showed up, but that some of the girls (i.e. Karen) felt disrespected. Charrisse has decided she wants to let go of petty things.

Gizelle, who is light-skinned with green eyes, says when she was growing up, people pegged her as mean or stuck up because of the way she looked. She says she didn’t come into her own beautywise until she was in her 40s.

Karen says it’s similar to Bare Minerals, but she’s supportive. Katie is a no-show, which Karen finds rude.

Katie is busy with the Rost Foundation, or as she says, real work. I have news for her, at my age, makeup is real work.

After the focus group, there’s food and drink for the ladies. Ashley decides to approach Karen. Karen feels it was rude of Michael to just show up the way he did. She says immaturity wrecked the weekend. Gizelle suggests they agree to disagree and let the men settle any beef. Ashley wonders what the men might do. Duel?

Robyn and Juan are still in limbo over whether or not he got an out-of-state coaching job. Robyn tells him about the beach trip. She tells him about how she had to room with Gizelle, but it made her feel nostalgic. They talk about when they met. Juan remembers that they talked about The Young and the Restless. They’re putting together some kind of storage cabinet. Robyn says the reason she doesn’t want to get back together with him totally is because of his cheating in the past.

Karen and Ashley meet for golf with their husbands. Karen is hoping the men can iron (no pun intended) things out about the beach incident. Why anything needs to be ironed out is beyond me and I think Ashley feels the same way.

Karen tells Ray that she and Ashley have come to an impasse. Michael feels he did nothing wrong, but is open to hearing what the problem was. Ray says he doesn’t need Michael seeing his wife in skimpy outfits as girls are wont to wear at these things. The guys make jokes and they move to the next hole. Karen feels like she was finally heard, and Ashley is glad to be back in Karen’s good graces, but this all seems ridiculous to me. While I understand what Karen’s gripe is, to go on about it at this level is insane.

Charrisse is about to turn 50. She says water is a sign of new beginnings, so she’s going to learn to swim. She had a bad experience with snorkeling when she was younger, and didn’t get back in the water again. I can’t imagine not taking every opportunity possible to get in the water.

Karen is flower shopping for her event. She’s looking for cherry blossoms, but they’re only available in the spring. Karen won’t believe it, but you’d think that’s something she would know living in the DC area. They get some kind of roses instead.

Everyone is getting ready for Karen’s event. Katie is actually going to two different events and is going to change in the car. Karen has turned this into a launching party for a bigger gala later.

I hate to say this, but this looks like anybody else’s party. Katie is a little startled too, so at least I know it’s not me. Don’t get me wrong, she’s got an amazing house, but the decor is basically little tables with rose centerpieces scattered throughout the dining room. Gizelle says something to Katie about not showing up for the focus group, and Katie pretends to be sorry.

Karen tells the girls all about how Ray gave Michael “the business” at the golf course. Really? Ray gives the floor to Karen. Ashley and Michael are at the door and the bell repeatedly rings as she’s speaking. The jazz musicians hired for the event finally answer the door. Of course Karen is appalled by this behavior.

Ashley tells Gizelle there was no business to give and wonders what Karen has been telling people. At this point, she says Karen isn’t approaching her efforts or respecting her. Ashley tells the other girls that Karen doesn’t want her daughter around them. Karen comes by and says she never said that; she said she didn’t want her daughter hanging out with Ashley specifically.

Karen says she’s done with Ashley. She says the last straw for her was Ashley saying something about her daughter. Charrisse says she has to apologize to Karen. Ashley tells Michael that Karen is upset with her. Michael says apparently they’re not wanted there. Karen makes sure to let the others know that she only meant her daughter is not to be around Ashley, who is closer to her age. For some reason it’s this huge deal that Ashley spoke her daughter’s name and it seems to have turned Karen into Maleficent.

Next week, we continue to be tortured, Gizelle’s kids want her to get a boyfriend, Karen and Ray are empty nesters, Juan has to make a job decision, and Charrisse has a birthday.

March 18, 2016 — Double the GH & Quotable Couches


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

Obrecht asks Franco if he’s doing some light reading. He tells her it’s a book made by Helena and she says she wouldn’t trust a grocery list from Helena. Ha-ha! Love her!

Maxie says what are the odds of two issues in a row being screwed up, adding that someone is out to get them.

Kristina pretends like she doesn’t know what Sonny is talking about, but he’s not buying it.

Sam says she doesn’t remember who originally got Jason the photos, but they were always on the mantel. She says Maxie redecorated when they broke up, and after that, the pictures were gone.

Franco tells Obrecht about not wanting kids and she says he has an affinity for them. She says few people aren’t worried about screwing their kids up and the ones who do, the kids bounce back. She says Nina must be on the baby track again.

Julian scoffs at the sabotage theory. Nina asks Julian if the whole thing doesn’t bother him. Tha’s a good question. Any other publisher would have been on the phone by now. Julian says no one is out to ruin Crimson. Maxie says the fashion world is cutthroat and Nina wonders who would benefit by Crimson’s demise.

Ava comes to get Avery so she can visit Kiki. Carly says Avery is asleep. Ava checks for herself.

Kristina says Sonny is attacking her. He says he barely sees her and wants to find out what’s going on while he has the chance. Molly says Kristina should have told them to begin with and Kristina tells her to shut up. Sonny asks if she’s going to tell Alexis what she’s hiding. When Kristina says nothing, Sonny says he will and tells them Kristina got kicked out of school.

Ava says she’ll be back and Carly and Sonny better not stop her. Carly asks why she wants to take Avery away. Ava says she just wants to take her home and asks if Carly and Sonny got it in their heads to keep Avery permanently.

Kristina says she was only suspended for one semester and how dare they dig into her private business? Sonny says as long as they’re paying for it, it’s their business. Sonny says there was an issue with a professor about harassment and if she’d come to them, they could have handled it. He’s sure that it was the professor that was out of line and turned the tables, and he’s going to fix it. Kristina says she’s not the victim and what the school said is all true. It was her fault. Alexis is astounded.

Maxie says when she spoke to the printer, it sounded like they had asked for the last issue to be printed in green. Julian says it sounds like a misunderstanding or a joke. He asks what’s more likely, a communication failure or a saboteur? Dillon suggests they find out who told the printer what.

Olivia comes to the hospital. She’s covered in hives and has to get to the hearing. Obrecht says she’ll do anything to stop Lomax’s anti-woman hysteria. She takes Leo and tells Olivia to go to the examining room. She gives Leo to Franco, saying she’s giving him an assignment — ten minutes with the baby and even he can’t screw that up.

Nina starts to call the printer. Julian says he’s had a relationship with them for years and he’ll call, and pretends to do it. He tells “the printer” that he wants to know what happened, and then pretends to listen. Julian tells them the printer said it was a mistake. Julian says there’s enough money for one more issue, the farewell to Crimson issue. They’ll send the magazine out on a high note.

Nina tells Dillon and Maxie they can leave, but she’s staying and has not yet begun to fight.

Franco talks to Leo about Leonardo da Vinci as only Roger Howarth can talk to a kid. He tells Leo he doesn’t think he would be a good father. He says he loved when he thought Kiki was his child, and enjoyed his time with Avery. He says he and Leo are getting along well. His phone rings and he sticks Leo in a laundry bin while he answers.

It’s Nina. She tells him it’s an emergency and she’s going to be late. He tells her to take her time, but save him some time too, because he wants to talk. He’s rethought the baby issue. Oops! Laundry bin gone.

Jason says it can’t be a coincidence that he picked the same photos that he’d owned before. Sam says maybe he recognized them. He says how can he remember pictures, but not the important stuff like their relationship?

Ava says Carly is deluded. Carly says not deluded, but hopeful that Ava will do the right thing. Ava says how should she react when someone tries to take her children and how would Carly react? Carly says she hopes she’d put the good of her child first. Ava says the judge decided Avery was better off with her and Carly says that will change when the court finds out how Ava’s business nearly killed Kiki.

Kristina tells them about flunking a class and how she offered sex in exchange for a passing grade. She says it didn’t get her anywhere and she kept pushing until the professor went to the ethics committee and she got suspended. She starts to cry, saying how stupid she was. She says she panicked because she was afraid of what they would think if she failed again. She did not fail with the earrings she picked out today though.

Sonny asks what she wants him to say. He says he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed.

Nina tells Dillon and Maxie to put their thinking caps on and try to salvage what’s left of the real woman issue. Maxie says last time they had a product, this time they just have pages. What should they do? Pay someone to put it together? Nina says that’s exactly what they’re going to do.

Obrecht comes out and Franco asks if she’s seen Leo. Obrecht says Franco should know where he is. He tells her that Leo disappeared from the laundry bin he left him in. Obrecht says, you lost him and he can’t even walk yet. Franco says she handed him a baby, what did she think was going to happen.

Sam tells Jason she misses the life they built together and that she’s falling for him all over again and doesn’t know where she’s going to land. She wants to give it a shot and Jason says he does too. he says the only thing stopping her from moving forward is her marriage — she wants a divorce.

Ava says the shooting can be traced back to Sonny. She says should they pursue that avenue of attack, it will be brought up. She’s an upstanding citizen who was helping with the arrest. Carly says it’s time to find another way to move forward. Ava says like her and Sonny have? and mentions the armed guards outside.

Kristina says she didn’t mean for this to happen and things just got out of control. She wishes she could do it over again. Sonny says him too. Molly tells Sonny not to talk to Kristina like that, like he’s never made mistakes. He says he wants Kristina to have a better life than he did. He says he’ll talk to the administration and get Kristina back in school. Alexis says let’s take a breath. Kristina says she doesn’t want to go back, and that everyone else knows who they are and what they’re supposed to do, but she doesn’t have those answers. Sonny tells her they’ll talk later and leaves. Alexis hugs Kristina.

Franco desperately looks for Leo.

Maxie says Nina doesn’t realize how much time, effort t and money it will take. Nina says the first 20 readers who compile enough issues to sell will get $1000. They’ll call it The Real Woman Real Cash contest. They’ll use social media, people will go wild and the publicity will be priceless. Maxie asks how they’ll get the issues to the readers. Nina says they’re going to drop pages from a plane. They’ll hire people to pick them up wearing Crimson T-shirts. Maxie says it’s crazy and she thinks it will work.

Olivia is talking to Obrecht and Franco says he has bad news. Obrecht moves aside and Leo is with Olivia. Franco makes something up about running out of paint. Olivia heads out with her prescription. Obrecht tells Franco that a nurse found Leo and took him to daycare.

Alexis tells Christina that she knows Sonny was harsh, but she’s not really a disappointment to them. They’re disappointed in themselves as parents. Kristina says it’s her fault. Alexis asks if there was anyone at school she could talk to and asks why Parker came to their house. Molly starts to field the question, but Alexis stops her and asks if there’s something Kristina isn’t telling her.

Sonny tells Carly that he had a run in with Kristina. Carly says Ava was there to take Avery, but Avery was napping. Sonny says now that Kiki is awake, he thought they’d have more time. Carly says Ava wanted to take Avery to visit Kiki, but she knows Ava is going to take her back permanently.

Julian tells Ava she’d better get Avery back before Sonny and Carly get ideas. Ava says they already have and tells him what happened. He tells her to be careful. She opens a box that’ been left for Kiki and there’s a black rose inside. She says the card is for Kiki, but the message is really for her.

Obrecht gives Franco a flask and tells him to take a sip, doctor’s orders. He says he knows that if he and Nina have a family, he’ll find a way to screw things up. Obrecht says, admittedly, things didn’t go well today.

Nina gets off the phone. She tells Dillon and Maxie that the Crimson air force is littering campuses at this very minute. She works fast!

Julian is concerned that the rose is from Dixon’s gang. Ava says she hasn’t been in contact with the gun runners since the delivery. The card says that everyone at the gallery is glad Kiki is getting better and glad the police saved her life, adding that her mother can sure pick her friends.

Sonny tells Carly not to worry about Avery. He has everything taken care of. She asks about Kristina. Sonny says she’s been lying to him and he has the feeling she still is.

Alexis asks Kristina to let her help. Olivia calls and says get to the courthouse now. The press is swarming the place. Alexis says she has to go. Kristina says she’s going to lie down. Alexis tells Molly to keep an eye on her.

Sam tells Jason they already have the paperwork in place. All Jason has to do is sign it. Jason is confused, since they both just said they wanted to give things another try. Sam says she doesn’t want to live in the past and compare it to what they have now, and that it would be easier and more fun to start over. Jason says she’s got herself a divorce. Please ask Elizabeth to be a bridesmaid when you remarry. Please.

Tomorrow, Olivia’s case is presented, the Crimson crew wonders who benefits from shutting them down, and Curtis tells Valerie she’s over-dressed.

General Hospital — Friday

Carly says the day Kiki fully recovers is the day they lose Avery. Sonny tells her don’t worry, he has a plan. He says he thinks Ava is going to realize Avery is better off with them.

Ava says her own people threatened her. Julian reminds her that she worked with law enforcement. Ava says she didn’t know that’s what she was going at the time. Julian says she’s a dead woman walking.

Operation Snowing Crimson is under way. Dillon texts Maxie and tells her pages are happening everywhere. Nina is worried that the readers won’t figure it out, or worse, won’t care.

Curtis tells Valerie she looks stunning, but over-dressed for what he has in mind. She says she thought they were going out for drinks, but he says they’re going on an adventure instead.

Kristina tells Molly she wishes her parents weren’t so hyped up about her life right now. Molly asks her why she just doesn’t tell them she’s gay, but Kristina says the jury is still out. Molly says what about her crush on Parker and Kristina says it’s more than a crush.

Alexis and Olivia are getting ready for the hearing. Alexis says she doesn’t want any woman going through what Olivia did. Diane and the mayor come in and Diane says the lawsuit is frivolous and a waste of the taxpayer’s money. Shame on Diane. I thought she’d be on our side.

Maxie wonders what happened to her fierce and focused boss. Nina says she’s worried.

Valerie says they made a deal, Curits is supposed to tell her his side of the story with Jordan if they go on another date. He says he’ll discuss his past with her, but something more fun and lucrative came up first. She asks how lucrative and tells him she can’t participate in a bank robbery. Curtis tells her about the Crimson contest. He says his mother always told him, if you can’t change your plans, you can’t change your life, and he wants to change his life for the better.

Nina says the issue was supposed to coincide with Olivia’s hearing. Nina asks Maxie if she breastfed, and Maxie says she wanted to and tried. Nina says she can’t wait to try. Maxie asks if Nina took her advice about a second opinion. Nina says yes, and that Franco changed his mind about them having a baby. Maxie tells her Crimson is trending on social media — all over the country.

Olivia tells Diane she’s not a puritan prude like Lomax. Lomax is like, I can hear you. Diane says she’s all in favor of anyone whipping anything out at any time, but that’s not the point. Lomax says that Olivia and Alexis already made their point at the police station. Lomax says it’s just a shameless publicity grab.

Sonny tells Carly not to worry again. She says Sonny has demonstrated a lack of ability to control his temper where Ava is concerned. He says Ava has dug her own grave and all he has to do is gently push her into it.

Ava says she had no choice but to do what Paul said. Julian says Paul put her in danger and he should be the one to keep her safe. He should at least assign a detail to her. Ava says Paul should do a lot of things, but she’s on her own. Julian asks her what she’s going to do.

Curtis tells Valerie about his mother passing away before she could see him clean up his life, and when she died, he was a disappointment to her. Valerie says her experience is the opposite and if her mother had been alive, maybe she wouldn’t have messed up. Curtis says they should put the past where it belongs for a few hours and get that thousand dollars.

Maxie says they’re going to show whoever is sabotaging Crimson that they they can pick themselves up. Nina talks about Julian speaking with the printer and says, doesn’t he make money from the magazine? Maxie says being in a coma for so long has spared Nina from evil people, but apparently Maxie doesn’t know Nina’s story, which Nina gives her a capsulized version of. Maxie asks who benefits from Crimson shutting down. Nina says, Julian.

Ava says she made a bargain with God to spare Kiki. Julian says he didn’t and he’s going to make sure she’s safe. Ava says she’s going to tell Dixon’s people the truth.

Carly tells Sonny that he and Kristina are a lot alike, and when something is bothering her, she projects it onto him. Sonny tells her about Max finding out Kristina was suspended from school. He tells her the explanation Kristina gave him. Carly agrees with Sonny that somehow it’s the professor’s fault. (This is one of the reasons they’re bad parents. They tend to immediately think their kids are never wrong.) Sonny says he’s going to have someone straighten out the professor. I thought Carly wanted things to change?

Kristina thanks Molly for standing up for her. Kristina says Molly has no idea how confusing it is for her. She says she has a history of dating the wrong guys, but never thought she’d be attracted to a woman before Parker. Molly suggests she might be bi-sexual. Kristina says she’s always been supportive of other people, but when it’s you, it’s strange.

Diana says Lomax did nothing to break the law. She didn’t prohibit Olivia from breastfeeding, she just complained, which she has a right to do. Lomax says Olivia was the one who got aggressive. Diane says Alexis wants to keep people from free speech and she needs to brush up on Constitutional law. Alexis says it’s a harassment case, not a free speech case. Lomax says if they don’t drop the case, they’ll regret the day they went up against her.

Molly says she thinks Alexis and Sonny will be fine no matter what Kristina’s sexuality is. Kristina says she doesn’t think Sonny can take having a bi-polar son and a bi-sexual daughter in the same month. Molly says no matter what, Kristina will always be who she is and she should be proud of that.

Carly objects to Sonny’s tactics (thank you). She says he might make things worse for Kristina. Sonny says he’ll just have someone dig around. Carly gets a call. There’s a health inspection at the hotel and she has to go.

Olivia asks if Lomax is threatening her. Lomax tells her to cool her jets. Lomax brings up Julian being a known criminal, and Alexis having two children by known mobsters. She tells Olivia that she’s already canceled events at the hotel and Olivia says she only opened it up to better clientele. Lomax says that’s not all she can do. Diane tells her to shut up because Olivia has been taping the conversation.

Julian tells Ava to let her big brother handle things.

Molly says Kristina is underestimating Alexis and Sonny, and that they’ll love her no matter what. They’re just worried about her and they know there’s more to the story. Kristina says let’s drop it for now and concentrate on Alexis’s case. Molly says she’ll drive to the courthouse if Kristina tells her about Parker.

Sonny tells Max to get to the bottom of what happened between Kristina and Parker. Poor Max. One day, he’s assistant to The Godfather, and the next, he’s Mr. French.

Nina says Julian hired her because he wanted Crimson to fail and expected it to be a loss, but it doesn’t make sense. I’m not sure why she thinks that because it makes total sense. She asks Maxie if she has any enemies and Maxie says not lately. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the health inspector telling them to evacuate.

The inspector tells Carly that they’re shutting the place down.

Olivia says she was only checking social media, not recording anything. Diane says it’s against the law to tape a conversation without both parties’ consent. (Really? In New York?) Alexis says not a public official. Diane counters with not in a court, but Alexis says court isn’t in session, so it doesn’t count. Lomax tries to get Olivia’s phone from her and they tussle. Girl fight!

Julian says he’ll go to the meeting for Ava, but tells her to be careful in the meantime.

Carly tells the inspector that everything on the report is a lie. Maxie and Nina come in saying they were kicked out. The inspector says that it was a mistake to close the offices and they can stay. Nina puts two and two together about Olivia’s hearing and Olivia being part owner of the hotel. She says they have a common enemy. Lomax

During the fight, Olivia drops her phone and Diane picks it up. Diane gives it back to her, but she’s erased the recording.

Back at the office, Maxie says the mayor didn’t have anything to do with the green issue, so they’re back to square one. She gets online and sees a few people have put the magazine together and tells Nina to get out her checkbook. Curtis and Valerie come in with a completed issue. It looks pretty beat up though. Valerie is missing a shoe and Curtis says it’s a madhouse out there.

Ava comes to see Sonny. He says she’s not taking Avery and she says that’s not why she’s there.

All the pages are there and Curtis says show them the money. Curtis tells Valerie that watching her crawl through the mud for the pages was a thing of beauty. They flirt. Valerie says it’s been a while since she had fun.

Alexis tells Molly and Kristina she’s sorry they saw that, since it wasn’t too mature. They say they’re proud of her. Alexis asks about the magazine, but before Julian can answer, Lomax comes in. She says Julian is now under surveillance and that Alexis will lose her license if he makes a misstep. Carly comes hurtling in and tells Olivia she has to drop the lawsuit.

Ava says Kiki is going to need a lot of time recovering, and Avery needs at least one parent with her, so Sonny should keep her for now. She leaves and Sonny gets on the phone. He’s the one who sent the rose.

Tomorrow, Dante finds Maxie’s handcuffs? (did I see that right?) Monica isn’t going to let Tracy die and Alexis needs Carly’s help.

The People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

If they make out, I swear I’ll drop this mug on your carpet.
They won’t, and if you do, you’ll buy me a new carpet.

— Nicole and Rachel respectively, referring to Jax and Stassi on Vanderpump Rules.

Bitch, I’m watching Ru Paul. Can you not call me? — Destiny, while watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

Who came up with that say uncle stuff?
Somebody’s uncle.

— Rashawn and Princella respetively, while watching Gotham.

Would you ever be on Naked and Afraid?
Hell no. We came into this world naked and afraid. We already did that show.

— Rashawn and Lamont respectively, while watching Naked and Afraid.