March 1, 2016 — GH, Candace’s Condo, & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis and Julian are using their gift certificate. Julian suggests using room service for dinner.

Griffin comes to Tracy’s aid and Hayden makes a call to the family.

Ava tells Franco she’s not confident that Paul can get her out of being arrested for arms trafficking.

Jordan tells Paul she still has quesitons for Ava.

Jason pays attention to Sam and plays with Danny in the Shriners waiting room, totally bumming Elizabeth out. She acts all nice when we all know what’s really going on in her head. Danny has brought a toy truck for Jake. Great choice for a kid who just got hit by a car. Elizabeth and Jason go with Danny to give it to him.

Tracy asks what happened. Hayden tells her she had a seizure and Griffin wants her to go to the hospital to get checked out. She says she thinks she’s dehydrated and asks for some water. Griffin helps her to a chair. Griffin says it might not be anything serious, but she should get checked. Dillon comes in and seconds that.

Franco says that if Ava can’t be there for some reason, he’ll look after Kiki as if she was his own, no matter what. He says he thought she was his daughter for a long time, and the feelings didn’t go away.

Paul asks why Jordan needs to discuss Ava’s immunity deal with her. Jordan says she is the police commissioner and wants to be up to speed. Paul tries calling Ava when Jordan leaves, but she doesn’t have her phone with her. Really? With Kiki in the hospital?

Ava says it surprises her to say it, but Franco has been a great surrogate father for Kiki and she’s happy to have him. Franco says that Paul is good at covering his tracks, and he’ll probably cover hers fine as well. Jordan shows up and asks to talk to Ava.

Jake thanks Danny for the toy truck and again seems like a normal kid. The boys go with Jake to the hospital playroom. Elizabeth tells Jason she finds it strange that Sam brought Danny for a visit. Because thinking about someone other than herself is a foreign concept.

Nicholas sees Sam in the waiting room. They talk about Shriners and how Spencer made the bow ties to drum up donations. Where is Spencer? They talk a little about the wedding. Nicholas asks if there’s an update on Hayden.

Tracy keeps denying she had a seizure, but Griffin and Dillon insist she go to the hospital.

Alexis and Julian peruse the room service menu, but toss it aside for more nookie.

In the hospital, Tracy says this is a waste of time. Griffin says he wants to check her PET and CT scans before she leaves. Tracy says she wants the best neurologist. Griffin says what about the best neurosurgeon? She says she wants someone who’s been working at GH for more than five minutes.

Elizabeth says she’s surprised Sam just showed up. Jason says she didn’t, he called her. Elizabeth asks if he wanted to see her. He says he wanted to see both her and Danny. Elizabeth says she didn’t realize how serious things were already, because she is a clueless self-centered idiot.

Sam’s phone rings and it’s Baxter. She says she’s come into some money and wants to invest it. She makes a date to meet with him in Manhattan. Nicholas says he can’t wait to see what she finds out as Jason looks on from a distance.

Franco sits next to Kiki’s hospital bed and talks to her. He pulls out his phone and tells Kiki a cat story he finds on the internet. Deciding the internet is nothing but crap, he wonders what he can say or do to inspire Kiki to come back.

Jordan tells Ava that Paul told her about their arrangement. Since she’s being vague, we know she’s trying to trick Ava into spilling the beans. Ava asks if Paul told her all of the details. At just the right moment, Paul comes in and says Jordan knows all about the immunity deal. Jordan says Ava was about to tell her the intimate details of their relationship. Ava says she realizes how that sounded, but now that Paul is here, he can do that. Jordan wants to talk to Ava alone, but Paul says Ava needs to tend to Kiki. Jordan leaves and Paul tells Ava she’s welcome.

Franco reads what sounds like an online privacy agreement to Kiki. He wants to bore and annoy her so much, she wakes up. He babbles as only Roger Howarth can do, talking about magic wands, Morgan and Griffin. He asks what he can do to bring her back.

Jason joins Sam with Danny. Jason says he knows Nicholas is her family and she doesn’t talk about cases so he’s not going to talk about Nicholas. It turns out he and Sam are staying at the same hotel, so they leave to put Danny to bed. Elizabeth sees them leave together because she just can’t mind her own business.

Paul says thanks to his efforts, Ava won’t have to serve jail time for their arrangement. She says an arrangement he roped her into. She says he got there just before she told Jordan everything, and she would have protected herself at all costs. They talk about Kiki. Ava says she’d give anything for Kiki to wake up.

Jake is having FaceTime with Franco. Franco asks if he can show Jake’s latest picture to Kiki. Franco asks about Elizabeth and tells Jake she loves him and is the best mom ever. Franco talks to Kiki about Jake getting better and says Kiki is going to get better too.

Hayden waits while Dillon gets a soda. Griffin leaves Tracy’s room and Hayden goes in. Tracy says he went to get the rest results. Tracy says she bets Hayden can’t wait to hear that something is wrong with her. Hayden says it’s not like that and Tracy tells her to go away, calling her Rachel. Dillon overhears and is like, what? Griffin comes back and kicks them both out.

Nicholas talks to Elizabeth in the waiting room. Elizabeth says Sam is going to be part of her life forever because they both have sons with Jason.

At the hotel, Jason hugs Sam and says he’s glad she’s okay. He says he wishes he’d been there and she says she does too.

Griffin brings Dr. Mays (the nasty one who Sonny blew off) to Tracy’s room. Back again, Hayden and Dillon thank Griffin for his help. Tracy insists she didn’t have a seizure. The doctor asks if it’s happened before. She says no, but Dillon beings up her spacing out and Hayden chimes in with what she’s observed. Tracy says she was just having senior moments and she asks Dillon and Hayden to leave. Dillon is afraid she’ll lie to the doctor, but they go.

Julian and Alexis make sweet pillow talk. I don’t have a senior moment, but intentionally space out. Julian says getting a second chance with her was the most important thing that’s ever happened to him and he doesn’t want to blow it. Does that mean he’s going to? Blah-blah-blah Julian has changed and Alexis is sooo happy about that. Bluebirds with ribbons in their mouths fly around the happy couple. Bippity boppity boo.

Dillon tells Hayden that Tracy is just scared and taking it out on her. Hayden says she should probably go, but to keep her posted. Dillon says he thinks there’s something seriously wrong with Tracy and that she’s suffering from delusions. Hayden says she might be having seizures, but she’s sharp as a tack. He asks why she would call Hayden “Rachel.”

Paul says he was happy to get Ava off the hook since the thing with Kiki is enough. Ava says its her fault and Paul says she can help by getting out of the business. He says she has a clean slate now, but she brings up the flash-drive that he has. She asks if she can have it.

Franco calls Elizabeth and tells her about the conversation with Jake. He wants to apologize for thinking he understood what she was going through with her son. He says he’s got a better understanding now that Kiki is in the hospital. He says he doesn’t know what to do to get her to wake up. Elizabeth says the only way to get through it is to get through it. Thanks, Yoda.

Sam says she knew in her gut that Jason could stop the bad guys. Jason asks if it’s because of his past. Sam says yes. He asks if that’s why she trusts him, because of his past life. She says yes. Well, that was kind of a dull ending.

Tomorrow, Sonny says he would kill to protect his family (like we didn’t know that already), Tracy tells Dillon what’s wrong with her, and Jason wants to know if Sam trusts the new him.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace’s nosy neighbor calls her son the cop. She keeps seeing Quita circle the block.

Quita and her friend Taylor break into the back door of Candace’s place. How come nosy neighbor didn’t see them go back there? They use the GPS to find Quincy’s phone, which stupidly, no one has gotten rid of. Quita sees a way too clean floor. Quita wants to find her brother, but Taylor says they’d better book.

Jim tells Veronica that he’s going to miss her. She says she can’t say the same. He asks if she’s going home to freshen up, and she tells him to get comfortable in the cell since he’s going to be there for a while.

The cops show up at Candace’s place. They handcuff Quita and Taylor. Quita insists she knows Candace and she was invited there. The cops ask for Candace’s phone number, but Quita doesn’t have it.

Jeffrey, who can’t stay away from trouble, comes by and the neighbor points him out. The cops ask him if he knows Quita and Taylor and he says no. He asks Quita if she knows Jeffrey and says he was driving her car. Quita asks Jeffrey where Quincy is. Justin, nosy neighbor’s son and bad cop, wants to talk to Jeffrey in the house. Ugh! I can’t stand this guy and it makes me nervous when he’s around Jeffrey.

Justin asks what’s up and if there’s drug running out of the house. He says something is going on and he knows it. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know what Justin is talking about and he just came to get keys that he left there. Justin wants him to call Candace, but he says he doesn’t know the number by heart. Justin says they’ll wait then. He tells the other cops to take Quita and Taylor in, and says he and Jeffrey are going to wait for Candace.

Justin acts like he’s king of the castle. He asks if there’s some wine around and tells Jeffrey to find him some. Jeffrey asks if Justin is still on duty. He asks Justin to leave and says he’ll have Candace call him. Surprisingly, Justin says okay. Then he gets a little bananas. He tells Jeffrey that Quita said she’s looking for her brother, Jeffrey had her car, there was blood in the car and his mother told him three men came in and only two came out.

He says he knows something’s going on and if he leaves, he’ll be in investigation mode. He asks if that’s what Jeffrey wants and Jeffrey says no. Justin tells him, good choice, and says to pour a drink for himself too, making me nauseous.

Candace meets Landon at a restaurant. Landon says he wants to go back to Atlanta, but Maggie wants him to stick around. Candace asks him if he’s too exhausted to meet a nice, hot young man. He says never, and she says she has someone she wants him to meet and suggests they go to Landon’s room.

After the fastest downing of a bottle of wine ever, Justin asks if there’s more. He walks around, making Jeffrey and I anxious, and then tells Jeffrey to come upstairs with him. It’s hard to know which character to hate the most on this show, but he’s way up there.

Quita sees Veronica at the jail and tells her not to go to her house. Veronica doesn’t know who she is, but Quita says get her out, and she’ll tell Veronica everything.

David, who is driving like a maniac, keeps trying to call Veronica. Veronica is picking up her belongings at the jail and sees that he called. Veronica says her wig is missing. The guard says there’s no wig on the list. I’m not sure what the big deal is about Veronica’s hair, since it’s actually a good look. She could probably go bald and she’d look good.

David calls Jennifer. He tells her not to let Veronica go home. Jennifer tells him off, saying he’ll sleep with that whore and not her, and hangs up. Veronica asks Jennifer if she’s playing games with her belongings. Jennifer acts clueless and Veronica says it’s an $8000 wig and she’ll be suing. There are cameras out front, but Jennifer won’t let Veronica leave by the back way.Veronica says she’s going to the bathroom first and will show Jennifer the beauty of a natural Black girl.

Justin points out what a nice bed Candace has. He asks what she does for a living and Jeffrey says she’s in law school and other than that, Justin will have to asks her. He asks why Jeffrey thinks Quita was looking for her brother here. Justin says he ran them and Quita is bad news, but Jeffrey isn’t. He says the DUI is the only time he’s been in trouble. He shakes Jeffrey’s hand, but then pulls him into a headlock. Jeffrey wrestles with him and ends up the victor. Jeffrey asks if Justin is done playing games and lets him up. At first, Justin acts like it’s all fun, but then he draws his gun and says if Jeffrey ever does that again, he’ll blow his brains out.

Commercial break. If Loving You Is Wrong is back on March 15.

Jeffrey asks Justin why, since he enjoyed it. Justin says he’s crazy and Jeffrey says maybe they both are. Justin says don’t do it again, and Jeffrey says sorry, maybe it was he wine talking.

Holy! Veronica takes a strip off her slip (who still wears those?) and makes a fantastic hair-do out of it. She tells the driver to take her around to the back of the jail, that she’s not leaving yet.

Candace tells Landon how great the guy is that she’s setting him up with. The’re barely in the room when there’s a knock at the door. It’s a humongous guy with dreadlocks. Landon says that’s not his type. Next, Erica and another thug come in. Candace tells Landon to pay attention and slaps him. She wants to know where Landon got the phony information he showed her about Oscar.

Landon tries to act like he’s Candace’s friend, but she’s not having any. Thug #1 starts moving around. Candace tells Landon he’s so pretty, but they can mess him up so his own mother doesn’t recognize him. He says Oscar gave him the link and wanted him to show it to her. Candace is like, and you didn’t think anything was weird about that? Landon says he thought Oscar was into her. Candace asks if he knows where Oscar is and Landon says no. Candace tells Erica she knows Landon is telling the truth because he just peed himself. Although how that’s any indication of truthfulness, I have no idea. Before she leaves, Candace asks Landon if he’d like Thug #1 to stay, since she did promise him a date. Landon doesn’t answer, but I assume it’s a no.

Justin, who is getting tedious, asks Jeffrey if he has any questions. Jeffrey says no, but then asks what Justin’s story is and where he gets off abusing his authority. Justin says that’s not what he’s doing. Jeffrey says yes it is and there’s no telling what he would have done if Jeffrey hadn’t stopped him. Justin says that’s not the case and Jeffrey asks why he’s there then. Justin says he thinks something isn’t right and he’s going to find out what it is. Jeffery says what’s not right is him, touching him sexually, keeping him here, and hiding behind his badge. Justin says he hates queers and Jeffery suggests he wants to be punished because he’s closeted.

Justin asks if Jeffrey’s a therapist and Jeffrey suggests that Justin is a control freak. He says Justin doesn’t hate him, he wants him. Justin says Jeffrey is sick. Jeffrey says Justin is sick because he won’t admit he’s gay. Jeffrey asks who told him it was wrong and asks if he was punished for it. Jeffrey asks Justin to leave, and when he won’t, Jeffrey touches him a place we don’t see and says, the body doesn’t lie. He suggests Justin get some therapy.

Hanna checks on Quincy Jr. in the hospital and says she’ll be there soon. Kathryn comes home. She asks what the hell happened to the house and Hanna says her son. Kathryn asks where he is and Hanna says the last time she saw him, he was driving away in a new car.

Hanna asks where she’s been. Kathryn asks if it can wait. Hanna says it’s waited too long already and to have enough respect for her to tell her the truth. She asks if there’s something she wants to tell Hanna about Wyatt. Kathryn says, so you saw the news, like Hanna is some kind of dimwit, since I’m sure the headlines are all over the place. Hanna says Wyatt told her. Kathryn says she’s sorry. Hanna says she told Kathryn that protecting Wyatt wasn’t going to be good and that he’ll have to pay for what he’s done. She asks if it was all worth it. Kathryn says Hanna is her only friend and she doesn’t want to lose her too. Hanna says she doesn’t lie to her friends and when she asked Kathryn about the girl who was killed, she didn’t say anything, Kathryn says that’s because Hanna knew and saw right through all of them. She says if Hanna hadn’t been there when Amanda died, she doesn’t know what she would have done.

Hanna says she once saw her uncle steal a TV and tells a story about lying that has a tragic ending. She says her uncle died for a TV he didn’t steal and now she makes sure she has the facts straight. Hanna says Kathryn covered for Wyatt who killed the girl and hit her son. She thought the reason Kathryn paid the hospital bills was because she cared. Kathryn asks why she was there for her cancer, and Hanna says it’s because she’s a child of God. Kathryn says Hanna has her there. Hanna says Kathryn still won’t tell her the truth. Kathryn says it’s still under investigation. She says if Hanna quits, what will she do without her? She says she doesn’t care about a clean house, but Hanna is her friend. Hanna says she lied and Kathryn says she chose her son. Hanna says right now, she’s choosing hers. Kathryn says Wyatt is in trouble and needs Hanna. Hanna says she can’t put this out there and not reap it back. She asks for her check. Kathryn won’t give it to her. Hanna says she needs the money. Kathryn says she gets paid on the first and if she’s not there, Kathryn will mail the check. Hanna says don’t do this to her and Kathryn says she has work to do. I’ve always liked Kathryn, but not right now.

Next week. Quita tells Veronica about Quincy, Jeffrey tells Candace that Justin knows something and Kathryn tries to get Hanna to stay.

Takeaway point: The problem with the rich is that they can buy anything they want, but have to beg for what they need.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

What would Kim’s tagline be if she were part of the cast this season? I’m going to stop with that thought, since even I can’t be that mean.

LisaR’s daughter, Amelia, needs her tonsils out. They’re discussing the things she can eat when she gets out of the hospital. The doctor calls and they go over the procedure. He says he can show them the tonsils when they’re done. The girls go eww! but Lisa says she might want to take a look.

Yolanda is hosting a dinner at Wally’s. And by that, I’m assuming she doesn’t mean Walmart. David is still acting like he’s a supportive husband, and they’re going to have a surprise guest entertainer. Yolanda says that even if you’re chronically ill, it’s important to participate in life. She’s having the party at a restaurant rather than her home to lighten the load.

The ponies are running about at LisaV’s house. She says pretty soon they’re going to be in her bedroom and she already has one stallion in the bedroom. Ha-ha! Kyle drops by. She doesn’t really feel like going to Yolanda’s party after their last encounter and Yolanda’s email, but she feels like if she doesn’t show up, she’ll make it worse. Kyle decides she’s just going to apologize and tell Yolanda she was having a bad day. Lisa asks if she can include her with that one.

Yolanda tells David she feels out of touch. He pretends to be concerned. In the limo, Kyle tells LisaV that she and Kim are inching their way toward fixing things.

Even though Erika worked until 2 am, she’s there with bells on. Kathryn tells Erica that Kyle is fired up over Yolanda’s email. Just as she starts to talk about LisaV, Lisa, Kyle and Ken come in. Yolanda and David follow. Kyle takes Yolanda aside and asks if they can talk about the email later. Yolanda asks if she and LisaV can have tea. Lisa says sure, but she wants Yolanda to know she’d never talk smack about her kids.

I love, love, love LisaV’s magenta highlights or extensions or whatever.

Eileen arrives and feels trepidation at seeing LisaV again. LisaR comes in with husband Harry Hamlin, who the girls are excited to meet. Kathryn tells LisaR about her boxing session with Erika and how they talked about LisaV. Kathryn says LisaV can be persuasive, but LisaR disagrees.

LisaV asks Erika about the web comment. Erika says she meant that Lisa can be influential and uses it sometimes. Erika wonders why Kathryn and LisaV would both ask how long she’s known Yolanda back to back. This actually seems like a normal question you would asks someone you just met, so I’m not getting this. LisaV, reading my mind, says almost the same thing, but Erika says it is a normal question, but she thinks Lisa has other motives in asking. She says she feels like LisaV is trying to discredit her friendship with Yolanda and in her individual interview, says that for some reason Lisa doesn’t like her and Yolanda together. She says her gut tells her Lisa is not her friend.

Eileen sent Kim a birthday text and LisaR asks if it would be weird if she did. The general consensus is yes. Lisa wonders how Harry puts up with her.

Erika confronts Kathryn about repeating what she said to LisaV. Erika says she thought they’d spoken in confidence, so thanks a lot. Kathryn says she wasn’t specific in saying it was just between them. Hmm…. I don’t expect my friends to repeat things that I obviously wouldn’t want repeated. I like Kathryn and I think Erika is wrong about LisaV, but Kathryn is also a big mouth. Once again under the Wives guise of honesty.

LisaR says she thinks Eileen is mad at her. Eileen says she’s not mad, but she doesn’t think it’s nice to question Erika when she knows LisaV can be manipulative. LisaR says she really likes LisaV, but feels loyal to Eileen, so she’s torn.

David invites them into another room. Kyle says David’s surprises are always amazing and for all she knows, he brought Elvis back from the dead. Nope. It’s Andrea Bocelli. I think I have a CD of his somewhere that someone gave to me. He sings Ave Maria, it’s fabulous and everyone is enthralled. Kyle takes this as a sign from her mother that she should check on her sister.

LisaR drives her daughter to the hospital. Amelia is concerned about having IVs in her arm and Lisa says she’s probably more worried than Amelia. She calls Harry from the hospital. Lisa says she’s a worrywart by heart and will create a problem if there isn’t one. My father always said that when there was nothing to worry about, my grandfather would worry about that, so I get this. She says the wait is excruciating. Amelia’s doctor comes out to tell her everything went fine. In today’s hospital here’s-your-hat-what’s-your-hurry fashion, Amelia will be sprung shortly.

Kyle is cooking with her daughter Portia. Even though she’s only 7, Kyle tells Portia that some children live at home until they’re married. Wise at a young age, Portia responds with, “Lovely.” Mauricio comes home and one of the dogs steals a baked potato from the table. Kyle says she can’t count the times Bambi has stolen food.

Kyle has been dabbling in ancestry and she would love to go to Ireland. She also says that she met with Kim and Kim seemed like her old self. I’m not sure how these two things connect. Either because they’re family oriented or she’s thinking of going to Ireland with Kim.We see Bambi swiping something else from the kitchen.

Yolanda, Kathryn and Erika meet in the park for a take-out picnic. They talk about Bocelli. Eileen says the evening was a little weird, and tells them how Kathryn had told everyone what Erika said. Yolanda says that wasn’t cool and Kathryn possibly burned some bridges.

Mohammed comes by LisaV’s massive property. Giggy! He has a little house for the ponies and jokes that it‘s for Ken. Lisa thinks maybe her friendship with Mohammed colors her relationship with Yolanda, and between them, her loyalties would lie with Mohammed.

Eileen says she’s had issues with LisaV lately and feels everyone acts like the issues are resolved, but they just sit there. Yolanda says on a personal level, she and Lisa have never gotten intimate, but that’s okay. Eileen says she likes Lisa, but they’re not the friends she thought they would be. She also thinks LisaR’s reaction to the LisaV smack talk was over the top. What I think is that everyone always says they want to move on, but then they have a hard time letting go.

Kathryn is meeting her sisters for lunch. She has three sisters and says all of them were unplanned. Their mother is in the early stages of dementia and they discuss that.

Kim visits Kyle. Kyle says it’s easy for Kim to pretend things didn’t happen, but not so much for her. They talk about Kim’s birthday. In her individual interview, Kim says she doesn’t want to discard what happened, but wants to have a fresh conversation. Kyle asks why Brandi has to send out a picture to social media every time she and Kim are together. Because she’s a self-centered, thoughtless drunk, that’s why.

Kim says bringing up past things can be detrimental. We see a flashback of the infamous limo scene where Kyle first calls Kim an alcoholic, which Bravo will never, ever let us forget. Kim says if it’s going to affect heir lives, they need to talk about it, but not in public and not at the top of their lungs. Kim says not talking to Kyle was hard.

Erika tells everyone all about how LisaV feels about herself, even though she doesn’t really know her. To be honest, and even though she can do no wrong, I do think Lisa has a hard time apologizing. But I also think this stuff is extremely petty and considering what a good friend she is otherwise, I’d let it slide.

Kyle says she feels like Kim hates her. Kim says she loves her with all her heart, but she does have feelings of resentment. Kyle says every time there’s an altercation, the silence between them gets longer. In her individual interview, Kyle says as much as she hates to say it, a lot depends on Kim’s sobriety.

Next week, the ladies take on Habitat for Humanity, LisaV confronts Erika again about the web comments, and Erika’s husband orders Kathryn to leave (or at least that’s the impression we get from the preview).

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