March 16, 2016 — GH & Little Women a Deux

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dillon is breaking out the champagne, but Maxie thinks it’s too early to celebrate. Dillon says what else could go wrong, but Maxie says that’s what they said about the green issue. Maxie adds that it’s March 15 and the Bible tells them to beware the Ides of March. (Um…no, it doesn’t.)

Epiphany is excited about being in the magazine. Elizabeth just dropped off Jake back at school and tells her about Franco coming to Philly to visit at the hospital. Epiphany asks what’s up with her and Franco.

In the hospital locker room, Franco is looking over the book Helena willed to Elizabeth. Nina comes in. She says she’s been giving him the silent treatment for two days and he hasn’t even noticed.

Sonny tells Max he wants an inquiry into a fugitive — Carrrlos Rivera. He says Carrrlos is alive and on the run. As much as Sonny wants him dead, he says Carrrlos has to be brought in alive so they can nail Julian.

Julian makes breakfast for Alexis. The case is on the front page of the Port Charles Press, and Alexis tells him he’s the best husband in the world. He suggests breakfast in bed.

Jason is in his new place, working on his bike, and Sam shows up with his plaque.

Sonny tells Max his priority is Julian. Kristina comes in and Max says he’ll go deal with it. Sonny asks how Kristina is doing. She says thanks to him, she wasn’t held hostage for long and everyone was pretty surprised when he got out of the wheelchair. She says it meant a lot to have Sonny at the wedding, even before he saved her life. Sonny wants to have a real conversation about school and Parker.

Molly comes over to Alexis’s. She’s brought flowers that are a symbol of good luck. She says a lot of her classmates have been talking about the case, and how it’s all over social media. She’s impressed with her mother’s coolness.

Dillon tells her that the Ides thing is from Julius Caesar. He says he didn’t realize she was so superstitious. She says she isn’t, but she wants Crimson to succeed and knows Julian isn’t keen on it. Dillon says they’re waiting for Tracy’s biopsy results and Tracy isn’t the most patient patient. He’s not crazy about Dr. Mays either. Maxie tells him it will be okay.

Sam is like, nice decorating choice with the bike, and Jason says he’s still waiting on his furniture. She tells him about the will reading and how Helena left her and her sisters a penny. Jason asks how they’re going to divvy it up.

Elizabeth says there’s nothing going on between her and Franco. Epiphany says she’s seen the pictures from the Gala and seen them with their heads together around the hospital. Elizabeth says they were conferring about Jake and she isn’t close to being over Jason.

Franco says Nina is always silent since she’s always at work. He says he’s been working a lot and visiting Kiki, who’s made an improvement. He asks what he did. Nina says he went to Philly to visit Elizabeth and Jake, and didn’t even tell her.

Kristina says an independent study might be weird, but it’s pretty straightforward. She deflects the topic, asking about Morgan. She says it must be hard for Sonny to watch Morgan go through changes. Sonny says he got past it and wants to show Morgan that he can too. He brings the topic back to the independent study and says he’s not swallowing the story.

Alexis says that she’s glad so many women can see it’s important to enforce the allowance of breastfeeding law. Julian is like, hey, it’s not just women that are supportive.

Dillon tells Maxie to relax and that the magazine will be fine. They talk about her being a model. She says she’s worried because the printer asked her if they wanted the issue printed in green again. Dillon says he’s probably just double checking. He says the green issue put them on the map and this one will take them to the next level. The new issue arrives. This ought to be good.

Nina asks if Franco makes house calls to another state. She says Franco told her he would make a terrible father, yet he went to visit Jake without even telling her. She says when two people are living together and in a relationship, they let each other know if they’re going out of town. He says Jake is having a hard time dealing with the Jason thing and she asks if it’s job to fix it. He tells her that he likes Elizabeth, but Nina has nothing to be jealous about. They’re just friends.

Epiphany continues to prod Elizabeth about Franco. Elizabeth says she’s told Franco that they’re not even friends. Epiphany says Franco never got the memo, and neither did Nina. She tells Elizabeth not to get caught between those two wackos.

Maxie opens the box of magazines and all that’s in it are covers. The next box is filled with one other page, and so on.

Julian says he’ll meet Alexis at the courthouse. Alexis says the more press, the better. He goes to work. Molly tells Alexis she seems ridiculously happy. She says she’s happy with TJ too. Alexis says Sam is also happy and that just leaves Kristina. She asks Molly what’s up with her sister anyway.

Kristina says there’s nothing weird about it and she has to get to the courthouse. Sonny says his offer stands that if it gets crowded at Julian’s she’s welcome there. He says maybe if she visits more often and gets more comfortable, she’ll tell him her secret. Yep. Parents always know, even when you think they don’t.

Sam tells Jason she’s better at fixing engines than he is and she can teach him a thing or two. They start to kiss. I guess they have a different definition of fixing an engine than I do.

Each box of the magazine is filled with separate pages and there isn’t one copy of the full issue put together. Get out the binding glue.

Nina says every time she talks about having kids, Franco says he’d be a bad father, but obviously he’s bonded with Jake. Franco says he loves kids and wants to see Nina happy, but he’s trying to be realistic. He thinks no adoption agency will give them a child. Nina tells him about getting a second opinion about having their own child. He says cool, go for it. She asks if she needs to worry about Elizabeth. Franco says no and that he loves her. She says she loves him too, and leaves for work.

Sam and Jason are getting busy, and his phone rings. His delivery is coming in ten minutes.

Elizabeth comes in the locker room and says she heard Nina talking about her. She says they’re not even friends and brings up when Franco kidnaped her child. She says she still doesn’t trust him and not to talk to her unless he has to. She says he’s not going to work with Jake anymore either.

Nina comes into the office. Maxie and Dillon show her the pages. Nina is like, huh? Dillon says the issue wasn’t bound and there are just individual pages in the boxes. It also went to the newsstand that way. Maxie says the printer claims she ordered it that way. Nina says the printer is an idiot. Maxie says if they want to fix it, they have to pay for a new run. Nina says Julian is going to have to shell out the money. Julian is standing behind her and says no he’s not. What a jerk this guy is. Just pay the freaking taxes and stop torturing these girls. I’m also wondering why no one is making noises about wanting to see the printer’s work order and a possible lawsuit if he doesn’t fix things.

Alexis says Kristina admitted she had something to tell her after the wedding and now Kristina is avoiding her. Alexis’s phone rings. It’s Olivia. She tells Molly they’re not done. Kristina arrives and Molly tells her that Alexis knows something is up and she needs to talk to her.

Sonny tells Max about the tuition check for Kristina and the story she told about it not being cashed. He asks Max to find out what’s going on. Because Max has nothing better to do. Yeah, just drop that Carrrlos thing and go hang out at Kristina’s school all day.

Kristina says everyone has their hands full with other things and they don’t need to be worrying about her. Molly says the least she can do is tell her parents about getting kicked out of school. Kristina says then she’ll have to explain everything else. Molly says Alexis loves her and Sonny does too, plus he’s not in a position to be judging other people. Kristina says she wants to figure things out for herself before telling anyone else. Alexis has come back downstairs and says, figure out what?

Julian makes up a bunch of nonsense about why he can’t put any money into the magazine. He says that if anyone can solve it though, it’s Nina, and he has faith that she can. Maxie reminds her about the green issue and how she said they have to embrace the suck. I’m considering putting that on a bumper sticker..

Franco shows Elizabeth the book that she apparently left on top of the lockers. He says it’s disturbing. She says it’s just Helena’s way of bugging her. He asks if she doesn’t want to know what’s meant by never forget and never tell. If she doesn’t, I do.

Jason’s stuff comes and he wants Sam to help decorate. She opens two packages containing framed photos and asks where he got them.

Franco tells Elizabeth she can’t run away from the book. She says doesn’t Franco think she wants to know what Jake’s secret is? Franco asks her to let him still work with Jake and it won’t have anything to do with them, just him and Jake. Elizabeth asks for his help.

Nina hasn’t come up with anything. She asks Maxie if she has any thoughts. Maxie says she thinks someone is sabotaging Crimson.

Kristina says it’s not the time and place to talk, but she’ll talk later. Alexis says she’s going to hold her to that. She says she wanted to take the case so that her daughters will have an easier time of it than her generation did, and not be judged for doing what’s natural.

Sonny shows up. He tells Kristina that whatever she’s keeping from them, she needs to spill it now.

Jason says he got the photos in an antique store. Sam says they were originally his and he had them on the mantel for years. Well, I guess his taste hasn’t changed any.

Tomorrow, Maxie confronts Julian about her sabotage theory, Kristina claims to know nothing about anything, and Sam says she wants a divorce.

Little Women: Atlanta

Finally. The season finale. I don’t know which has been more painful. This, or The Real Housewives of Potomac.

Amanda is trying to focus on her relationship with her boyfriend, Jordan, who actually got a job. They want to move out because it’s gotten to be close quarters with Andrea and her boyfriend, Chris. Even little people can get cramped.

The twins discuss the tension between Minnie and Monie (who sound like a 60’s folk rock duo).

Bri needs to make a decision about her boyfriend, Wooda (cooda shooda). She’s been living with Emily, but it’s a temporary situation. Bri says she has to decide or she and Wooda will just keep going back and forth forever.

Monie is making chicken tacos, surprising Morlin, her boyfriend. She’s not exactly a domestic engineer. Monie talks about her altercation with Minnie. She feels Minnie owes her a big apology. She asks Morlin if she can be a housewife if her voice-over career doesn’t take off.

Morlin says with housewife comes responsibility and he’s been thinking about an addition to their family. Monie asks what kind of dog they’re getting. BA DUM BUM! She says he’d better put a ring on it first.

Minnie wants her friend back because she has good news. She’s written to her father and he responded. He’d denied being her father while she was growing up and she’s always felt not good enough. Although she’s asked him before, he’s now willing to take a DNA test. Her mother is shocked, but says she feels relieved.

Emily is finding out what sex the baby is, and possibly if it’s average or little. She’s gained a pound. The doctor discusses diet with her and she says she’s doing her best to eat healthfully. She’s having a boy, which is what she’d wanted. The doctor does a sonogram. The doctor says she can’t be certain, but she thinks the baby is average sized. Everything is also on schedule.

Amanda is using a lint roller on herself. Do they have pets? They’ve invited Minnie and Monie over for a friendship intervention. Minnie gets there first, but neither one knows the other is coming. Minnie says they both say the other has changed. She says she can’t stand the distance and is ready to put things behind her. Monie arrives.

Commercial break. Terra’s Little Family begins again next Wednesday at 10 pm.

The twins tell Minnie and Monie that they’ve brought them together to be friends again. Minnie says she apologizes and says let’s let the past be the past. Monie says they haven’t exactly set a good example for the twins and wants to move forward.

Minnie tells them she’s having a party called Minnie Turns Over a New Leaf. I didn’t know parties had names. She tells them about reaching out to her father and how she’s ready to stop looking back.

Bri goes back home. She’s decided to end things for good. She tells Wooda he has to find a new place to live. He’s like, aight. Geez, what a catch. Bri says the non-relationship relationship isn’t working for her. They discuss sharing time with Malik. He’s going to sleep on the couch in the meantime and she tells him no sneaking into her room. She gives him a week.

Minnie talks to her mom. She wants her mom to know why a relationship with her father is important. She says that she’d want her future children to have two grandparents. Her mother says her own father was special to her and she’d always wanted Minnie to have a relationship with her father. Minnie wonders if the DNA test says he’s her father, will he step up to the plate? Her mom says if he doesn’t, then it’s his loss.

The twins and their boyfriends go to an indoor trampoline park. I can’t say I’ve ever heard of that before. Amanda tells Andrea that it’s time for her and Jordan to move out. Andrea says she’d better call her every day.

Emily’s daughter, Ava, is coming to visit and they go to Emily’s house. Emily gives her daughter the baby news by giving her a big sister T-shirt, but they still have to explain it since she’s pretty young.

Monie goes with Minnie to fill out the paperwork for the DNA test. The technician takes a DNA sample from Minnie. Monie asks what if he’s not her father. Minnie says she’d have to shake down her mom for answers then.

It’s moving day. Monie and Morlin are there to help, although it doesn’t look like it’s that much stuff. When Amanda leaves, Andrea starts to cry.

It’s time for Minnie’s party. All the girls are finally getting along. Minnie gets the test results and she’s afraid to open them. She’s going to do it at the party, and I wonder if that’s the best idea. The pastor from the bootcamp is also there, along with Juicy.

Monie hasn’t seen Juicy since she threw a drink at her, but Juicy apologizes for what she had said that caused it. Minnie opens the envelope. She starts to cry. The results are 99.999999% in favor of him being her father. It remains to be seen if he’ll be the father she wants.

She calls and tells him the results. He wants to see the hard copy and asks how soon he can get it. She says tomorrow and he says good night. Nice guy. I don’t blame him for wanting to see it, but he sounds like a cold fish. Minnie starts sobbing hysterically.

She recovers though and they make jokes about eyelash glue. She says at least she knows the truth. She says the girls aren’t just her friends, but they’re her family. The dancing commences.

Next week, The Reunion, with Terra as hostess and an appearance by the mysterious Troy.

Little Women: LA

Jasmine is throwing Briana a bachelorette party in Mexico. Christy is buying new luggage. She can fit into most of the bags. Her mom is with her and Christy tells her that Terra and Tonya don’t want to go because they don’t support the marriage. Christy says she doesn’t either, but she wants her friendship with Briana back.

Jasmine and Briana meet Ali at a bar. Briana feels a bond because Ali also eloped in Vegas. Ali says the housewarming party was cool, but she didn’t get good vibes from Terra and Tonya. Jasmine says it’s time to strengthen their bond of friendship or cut the cord. She invites Ali on the trip. Briana says it’s her party and they can cry if they want to.

Terra invites Elena over to update her and Tonya’s makeup look. The first thing Elena tells them is to throw out their 20-year-old makeup. They discuss the bachelorette party. Tonya says she was okay with the marriage until Matt said he wanted to keep the kids from their grandparents.

Terra and Tonya don’t want to go. Jasmine says she thinks Briana would care, but they say she won’t. Elena is still pissed about Briana’s marriage announcement at her wedding vow renewal. She says she isn’t going to tell anyone about her pregnancy until after the party, but she wants everyone to act like grown-ups.

Destination Cancun. Wish I could fit in a suitcase. Terra and Tonya have decided to come along. Jasmine says no one could get mad sitting on a beach in Mexico. She asks that if anyone has a beef, to bring it to her and not Briana. Christy doesn’t think that’s a good way to start off, but I think it is for this group. Tonya is afraid of what will happen after her first Margarita. Here’s a thought, don’t drink.

The hotel is pretty fabulous. The first night they’re keeping it low key, but the next two are for partying. Briana says she doesn’t want strippers, but other than that, she’s open to anything.

Terra visits Elena’s room. She doesn’t think Briana cares if she’s there or not, but she wants to show her support. Elena says she won’t be drinking because she’s pregnant. Elena thought it was fair to tell her first, since Terra told her first with Penny. Terra is excited that they can be pregnant together. She says it’s going to be hard to keep quiet about it, but she wants to give Elena the time she needs.

Tonya and Terra are having drinks when Ali comes by. Ali says she’s glad to see them, but startled, since she heard they weren’t supportive of Briana. Tonya explains that Briana had lied to them about being married. Ali wonders if they had been supportive in the first place, if Briana would have lied. Ali seems confused how they can be supportive of Briana, but not her relationship with Matt. Well you can, but you need to keep your mouth shut.

They have dinner. Briana is wearing a sash and mini bridal veil. Jasmine is fluent in Spanish, which is a plus, especially at a restaurant. Jasmine makes a toast and then Briana makes one. She starts thanking Jasmine and Tonya pretends to choke. She asks Briana if she’s happy they all came. Briana says yes, and Terra says she hopes this can be a new beginning.

Tonya asks again if Briana is happy about them being there. Briana says she is, but she’s hesitant because of the past. Terra says technically, Jasmine invited them, so they wondered. Tonya says she’s not happy with the situation, but she’s there to be supportive of Briana. Is this really necessary? And is being supportive rubbing her nose in it? Tonya says they’ll talk later. Can’t anyone ever just have a weekend?

It’s raining, so Christy, Elena and Ali play ping pong. Christy says Briana is acting more like herself because Matt isn’t around. Elena isn’t sure if Christy is supportive or not because she rides both sides of the fence. Christy says if Briana loves this man and she’s happy, she surrenders. I become super aware of how many times I’m typing “supportive” and “relationship.”

It’s still raining, and Jasmine procures Christy’s help to set up some games. Jasmine brought a bunch of wigs for them to wear. Andy Cohen would like this. Jasmine wants everyone to chill and asks Christy if she thinks Tonya and Terra are here for the right reasons. She says the first person who gives a dirty look is out.

The party begins. Christy says she’s planned a surprise for later. Jasmine says since it’s raining, she thought the wigs would protect their hair. Tonya says she’s allergic to synthetic hair, but she really just doesn’t want to wear it and gets all kinds of insulting in her individual interview. She is one mean lil boss. Jasmine gives the girls popsicles and wants to see what they do with them. Don’t ask. Then they play a question game.

The question Tonya gets to read is what does Briana like about Matt’s character. Crickets chirp. Finally a few struggling answers come out.

Tonya tells Terra afterward that this was the most boring party ever. Christy tells her to just make an attempt at having fun. Tonya says Briana didn’t seem happy. Christy says they weren’t going to bring up Matt. Yeah, for Matt not being here, he sure is present.

Christy says it’s about to get unboring. She says Briana said no strippers, but not no little people strippers.

They have champagne and tequila back in one of the rooms. Jasmine thinks Elena is bringing things down because she won’t drink. Elena makes up something about not feeling well. They turn up the music and start to dance. Ali tells Briana she’s supposed to get black out drunk at her bachelorette party. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the stripper. Briana isn’t happy, she says she’s a married woman, and goes into another room, saying she’s done.

The rest of the girls are into it, but Briana says she’s not coming in. Jasmine says he promises not to touch her. Briana doesn’t want to make the guy feel badly, so she comes back, but says she’s not going to participate. She doesn’t. Kind of. Christy says this is the way to throw a bachelorette party and they all dance.

Tonya wants one on one time with Briana. They have a drink by the pool. Tonya says she’s concerned for Briana’s happiness. She says no one’s marriage is perfect and she wants to make sure Matt is treating her right. She thinks he has control issues. Briana says she’s happy and has nothing to hide. Tonya says she feels in her heart that Briana’s hiding something. She says Briana doesn’t seem like a happy newlywed and she’s different, but not in a good way.

Briana says she’s moving forward in her life and doesn’t have to prove it to anyone. Tonya says it’s hard for the girls to believe because of the lies in the past.

And we’re out.

If you can catch Vanderpump Rules: Uncensored, it’s worth it. A lot of behind-the-scenes stuff and information about how the show came to be.

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