March 18, 2016 — Double the GH & Quotable Couches

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

Obrecht asks Franco if he’s doing some light reading. He tells her it’s a book made by Helena and she says she wouldn’t trust a grocery list from Helena. Ha-ha! Love her!

Maxie says what are the odds of two issues in a row being screwed up, adding that someone is out to get them.

Kristina pretends like she doesn’t know what Sonny is talking about, but he’s not buying it.

Sam says she doesn’t remember who originally got Jason the photos, but they were always on the mantel. She says Maxie redecorated when they broke up, and after that, the pictures were gone.

Franco tells Obrecht about not wanting kids and she says he has an affinity for them. She says few people aren’t worried about screwing their kids up and the ones who do, the kids bounce back. She says Nina must be on the baby track again.

Julian scoffs at the sabotage theory. Nina asks Julian if the whole thing doesn’t bother him. Tha’s a good question. Any other publisher would have been on the phone by now. Julian says no one is out to ruin Crimson. Maxie says the fashion world is cutthroat and Nina wonders who would benefit by Crimson’s demise.

Ava comes to get Avery so she can visit Kiki. Carly says Avery is asleep. Ava checks for herself.

Kristina says Sonny is attacking her. He says he barely sees her and wants to find out what’s going on while he has the chance. Molly says Kristina should have told them to begin with and Kristina tells her to shut up. Sonny asks if she’s going to tell Alexis what she’s hiding. When Kristina says nothing, Sonny says he will and tells them Kristina got kicked out of school.

Ava says she’ll be back and Carly and Sonny better not stop her. Carly asks why she wants to take Avery away. Ava says she just wants to take her home and asks if Carly and Sonny got it in their heads to keep Avery permanently.

Kristina says she was only suspended for one semester and how dare they dig into her private business? Sonny says as long as they’re paying for it, it’s their business. Sonny says there was an issue with a professor about harassment and if she’d come to them, they could have handled it. He’s sure that it was the professor that was out of line and turned the tables, and he’s going to fix it. Kristina says she’s not the victim and what the school said is all true. It was her fault. Alexis is astounded.

Maxie says when she spoke to the printer, it sounded like they had asked for the last issue to be printed in green. Julian says it sounds like a misunderstanding or a joke. He asks what’s more likely, a communication failure or a saboteur? Dillon suggests they find out who told the printer what.

Olivia comes to the hospital. She’s covered in hives and has to get to the hearing. Obrecht says she’ll do anything to stop Lomax’s anti-woman hysteria. She takes Leo and tells Olivia to go to the examining room. She gives Leo to Franco, saying she’s giving him an assignment — ten minutes with the baby and even he can’t screw that up.

Nina starts to call the printer. Julian says he’s had a relationship with them for years and he’ll call, and pretends to do it. He tells “the printer” that he wants to know what happened, and then pretends to listen. Julian tells them the printer said it was a mistake. Julian says there’s enough money for one more issue, the farewell to Crimson issue. They’ll send the magazine out on a high note.

Nina tells Dillon and Maxie they can leave, but she’s staying and has not yet begun to fight.

Franco talks to Leo about Leonardo da Vinci as only Roger Howarth can talk to a kid. He tells Leo he doesn’t think he would be a good father. He says he loved when he thought Kiki was his child, and enjoyed his time with Avery. He says he and Leo are getting along well. His phone rings and he sticks Leo in a laundry bin while he answers.

It’s Nina. She tells him it’s an emergency and she’s going to be late. He tells her to take her time, but save him some time too, because he wants to talk. He’s rethought the baby issue. Oops! Laundry bin gone.

Jason says it can’t be a coincidence that he picked the same photos that he’d owned before. Sam says maybe he recognized them. He says how can he remember pictures, but not the important stuff like their relationship?

Ava says Carly is deluded. Carly says not deluded, but hopeful that Ava will do the right thing. Ava says how should she react when someone tries to take her children and how would Carly react? Carly says she hopes she’d put the good of her child first. Ava says the judge decided Avery was better off with her and Carly says that will change when the court finds out how Ava’s business nearly killed Kiki.

Kristina tells them about flunking a class and how she offered sex in exchange for a passing grade. She says it didn’t get her anywhere and she kept pushing until the professor went to the ethics committee and she got suspended. She starts to cry, saying how stupid she was. She says she panicked because she was afraid of what they would think if she failed again. She did not fail with the earrings she picked out today though.

Sonny asks what she wants him to say. He says he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed.

Nina tells Dillon and Maxie to put their thinking caps on and try to salvage what’s left of the real woman issue. Maxie says last time they had a product, this time they just have pages. What should they do? Pay someone to put it together? Nina says that’s exactly what they’re going to do.

Obrecht comes out and Franco asks if she’s seen Leo. Obrecht says Franco should know where he is. He tells her that Leo disappeared from the laundry bin he left him in. Obrecht says, you lost him and he can’t even walk yet. Franco says she handed him a baby, what did she think was going to happen.

Sam tells Jason she misses the life they built together and that she’s falling for him all over again and doesn’t know where she’s going to land. She wants to give it a shot and Jason says he does too. he says the only thing stopping her from moving forward is her marriage — she wants a divorce.

Ava says the shooting can be traced back to Sonny. She says should they pursue that avenue of attack, it will be brought up. She’s an upstanding citizen who was helping with the arrest. Carly says it’s time to find another way to move forward. Ava says like her and Sonny have? and mentions the armed guards outside.

Kristina says she didn’t mean for this to happen and things just got out of control. She wishes she could do it over again. Sonny says him too. Molly tells Sonny not to talk to Kristina like that, like he’s never made mistakes. He says he wants Kristina to have a better life than he did. He says he’ll talk to the administration and get Kristina back in school. Alexis says let’s take a breath. Kristina says she doesn’t want to go back, and that everyone else knows who they are and what they’re supposed to do, but she doesn’t have those answers. Sonny tells her they’ll talk later and leaves. Alexis hugs Kristina.

Franco desperately looks for Leo.

Maxie says Nina doesn’t realize how much time, effort t and money it will take. Nina says the first 20 readers who compile enough issues to sell will get $1000. They’ll call it The Real Woman Real Cash contest. They’ll use social media, people will go wild and the publicity will be priceless. Maxie asks how they’ll get the issues to the readers. Nina says they’re going to drop pages from a plane. They’ll hire people to pick them up wearing Crimson T-shirts. Maxie says it’s crazy and she thinks it will work.

Olivia is talking to Obrecht and Franco says he has bad news. Obrecht moves aside and Leo is with Olivia. Franco makes something up about running out of paint. Olivia heads out with her prescription. Obrecht tells Franco that a nurse found Leo and took him to daycare.

Alexis tells Christina that she knows Sonny was harsh, but she’s not really a disappointment to them. They’re disappointed in themselves as parents. Kristina says it’s her fault. Alexis asks if there was anyone at school she could talk to and asks why Parker came to their house. Molly starts to field the question, but Alexis stops her and asks if there’s something Kristina isn’t telling her.

Sonny tells Carly that he had a run in with Kristina. Carly says Ava was there to take Avery, but Avery was napping. Sonny says now that Kiki is awake, he thought they’d have more time. Carly says Ava wanted to take Avery to visit Kiki, but she knows Ava is going to take her back permanently.

Julian tells Ava she’d better get Avery back before Sonny and Carly get ideas. Ava says they already have and tells him what happened. He tells her to be careful. She opens a box that’ been left for Kiki and there’s a black rose inside. She says the card is for Kiki, but the message is really for her.

Obrecht gives Franco a flask and tells him to take a sip, doctor’s orders. He says he knows that if he and Nina have a family, he’ll find a way to screw things up. Obrecht says, admittedly, things didn’t go well today.

Nina gets off the phone. She tells Dillon and Maxie that the Crimson air force is littering campuses at this very minute. She works fast!

Julian is concerned that the rose is from Dixon’s gang. Ava says she hasn’t been in contact with the gun runners since the delivery. The card says that everyone at the gallery is glad Kiki is getting better and glad the police saved her life, adding that her mother can sure pick her friends.

Sonny tells Carly not to worry about Avery. He has everything taken care of. She asks about Kristina. Sonny says she’s been lying to him and he has the feeling she still is.

Alexis asks Kristina to let her help. Olivia calls and says get to the courthouse now. The press is swarming the place. Alexis says she has to go. Kristina says she’s going to lie down. Alexis tells Molly to keep an eye on her.

Sam tells Jason they already have the paperwork in place. All Jason has to do is sign it. Jason is confused, since they both just said they wanted to give things another try. Sam says she doesn’t want to live in the past and compare it to what they have now, and that it would be easier and more fun to start over. Jason says she’s got herself a divorce. Please ask Elizabeth to be a bridesmaid when you remarry. Please.

Tomorrow, Olivia’s case is presented, the Crimson crew wonders who benefits from shutting them down, and Curtis tells Valerie she’s over-dressed.

General Hospital — Friday

Carly says the day Kiki fully recovers is the day they lose Avery. Sonny tells her don’t worry, he has a plan. He says he thinks Ava is going to realize Avery is better off with them.

Ava says her own people threatened her. Julian reminds her that she worked with law enforcement. Ava says she didn’t know that’s what she was going at the time. Julian says she’s a dead woman walking.

Operation Snowing Crimson is under way. Dillon texts Maxie and tells her pages are happening everywhere. Nina is worried that the readers won’t figure it out, or worse, won’t care.

Curtis tells Valerie she looks stunning, but over-dressed for what he has in mind. She says she thought they were going out for drinks, but he says they’re going on an adventure instead.

Kristina tells Molly she wishes her parents weren’t so hyped up about her life right now. Molly asks her why she just doesn’t tell them she’s gay, but Kristina says the jury is still out. Molly says what about her crush on Parker and Kristina says it’s more than a crush.

Alexis and Olivia are getting ready for the hearing. Alexis says she doesn’t want any woman going through what Olivia did. Diane and the mayor come in and Diane says the lawsuit is frivolous and a waste of the taxpayer’s money. Shame on Diane. I thought she’d be on our side.

Maxie wonders what happened to her fierce and focused boss. Nina says she’s worried.

Valerie says they made a deal, Curits is supposed to tell her his side of the story with Jordan if they go on another date. He says he’ll discuss his past with her, but something more fun and lucrative came up first. She asks how lucrative and tells him she can’t participate in a bank robbery. Curtis tells her about the Crimson contest. He says his mother always told him, if you can’t change your plans, you can’t change your life, and he wants to change his life for the better.

Nina says the issue was supposed to coincide with Olivia’s hearing. Nina asks Maxie if she breastfed, and Maxie says she wanted to and tried. Nina says she can’t wait to try. Maxie asks if Nina took her advice about a second opinion. Nina says yes, and that Franco changed his mind about them having a baby. Maxie tells her Crimson is trending on social media — all over the country.

Olivia tells Diane she’s not a puritan prude like Lomax. Lomax is like, I can hear you. Diane says she’s all in favor of anyone whipping anything out at any time, but that’s not the point. Lomax says that Olivia and Alexis already made their point at the police station. Lomax says it’s just a shameless publicity grab.

Sonny tells Carly not to worry again. She says Sonny has demonstrated a lack of ability to control his temper where Ava is concerned. He says Ava has dug her own grave and all he has to do is gently push her into it.

Ava says she had no choice but to do what Paul said. Julian says Paul put her in danger and he should be the one to keep her safe. He should at least assign a detail to her. Ava says Paul should do a lot of things, but she’s on her own. Julian asks her what she’s going to do.

Curtis tells Valerie about his mother passing away before she could see him clean up his life, and when she died, he was a disappointment to her. Valerie says her experience is the opposite and if her mother had been alive, maybe she wouldn’t have messed up. Curtis says they should put the past where it belongs for a few hours and get that thousand dollars.

Maxie says they’re going to show whoever is sabotaging Crimson that they they can pick themselves up. Nina talks about Julian speaking with the printer and says, doesn’t he make money from the magazine? Maxie says being in a coma for so long has spared Nina from evil people, but apparently Maxie doesn’t know Nina’s story, which Nina gives her a capsulized version of. Maxie asks who benefits from Crimson shutting down. Nina says, Julian.

Ava says she made a bargain with God to spare Kiki. Julian says he didn’t and he’s going to make sure she’s safe. Ava says she’s going to tell Dixon’s people the truth.

Carly tells Sonny that he and Kristina are a lot alike, and when something is bothering her, she projects it onto him. Sonny tells her about Max finding out Kristina was suspended from school. He tells her the explanation Kristina gave him. Carly agrees with Sonny that somehow it’s the professor’s fault. (This is one of the reasons they’re bad parents. They tend to immediately think their kids are never wrong.) Sonny says he’s going to have someone straighten out the professor. I thought Carly wanted things to change?

Kristina thanks Molly for standing up for her. Kristina says Molly has no idea how confusing it is for her. She says she has a history of dating the wrong guys, but never thought she’d be attracted to a woman before Parker. Molly suggests she might be bi-sexual. Kristina says she’s always been supportive of other people, but when it’s you, it’s strange.

Diana says Lomax did nothing to break the law. She didn’t prohibit Olivia from breastfeeding, she just complained, which she has a right to do. Lomax says Olivia was the one who got aggressive. Diane says Alexis wants to keep people from free speech and she needs to brush up on Constitutional law. Alexis says it’s a harassment case, not a free speech case. Lomax says if they don’t drop the case, they’ll regret the day they went up against her.

Molly says she thinks Alexis and Sonny will be fine no matter what Kristina’s sexuality is. Kristina says she doesn’t think Sonny can take having a bi-polar son and a bi-sexual daughter in the same month. Molly says no matter what, Kristina will always be who she is and she should be proud of that.

Carly objects to Sonny’s tactics (thank you). She says he might make things worse for Kristina. Sonny says he’ll just have someone dig around. Carly gets a call. There’s a health inspection at the hotel and she has to go.

Olivia asks if Lomax is threatening her. Lomax tells her to cool her jets. Lomax brings up Julian being a known criminal, and Alexis having two children by known mobsters. She tells Olivia that she’s already canceled events at the hotel and Olivia says she only opened it up to better clientele. Lomax says that’s not all she can do. Diane tells her to shut up because Olivia has been taping the conversation.

Julian tells Ava to let her big brother handle things.

Molly says Kristina is underestimating Alexis and Sonny, and that they’ll love her no matter what. They’re just worried about her and they know there’s more to the story. Kristina says let’s drop it for now and concentrate on Alexis’s case. Molly says she’ll drive to the courthouse if Kristina tells her about Parker.

Sonny tells Max to get to the bottom of what happened between Kristina and Parker. Poor Max. One day, he’s assistant to The Godfather, and the next, he’s Mr. French.

Nina says Julian hired her because he wanted Crimson to fail and expected it to be a loss, but it doesn’t make sense. I’m not sure why she thinks that because it makes total sense. She asks Maxie if she has any enemies and Maxie says not lately. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the health inspector telling them to evacuate.

The inspector tells Carly that they’re shutting the place down.

Olivia says she was only checking social media, not recording anything. Diane says it’s against the law to tape a conversation without both parties’ consent. (Really? In New York?) Alexis says not a public official. Diane counters with not in a court, but Alexis says court isn’t in session, so it doesn’t count. Lomax tries to get Olivia’s phone from her and they tussle. Girl fight!

Julian says he’ll go to the meeting for Ava, but tells her to be careful in the meantime.

Carly tells the inspector that everything on the report is a lie. Maxie and Nina come in saying they were kicked out. The inspector says that it was a mistake to close the offices and they can stay. Nina puts two and two together about Olivia’s hearing and Olivia being part owner of the hotel. She says they have a common enemy. Lomax

During the fight, Olivia drops her phone and Diane picks it up. Diane gives it back to her, but she’s erased the recording.

Back at the office, Maxie says the mayor didn’t have anything to do with the green issue, so they’re back to square one. She gets online and sees a few people have put the magazine together and tells Nina to get out her checkbook. Curtis and Valerie come in with a completed issue. It looks pretty beat up though. Valerie is missing a shoe and Curtis says it’s a madhouse out there.

Ava comes to see Sonny. He says she’s not taking Avery and she says that’s not why she’s there.

All the pages are there and Curtis says show them the money. Curtis tells Valerie that watching her crawl through the mud for the pages was a thing of beauty. They flirt. Valerie says it’s been a while since she had fun.

Alexis tells Molly and Kristina she’s sorry they saw that, since it wasn’t too mature. They say they’re proud of her. Alexis asks about the magazine, but before Julian can answer, Lomax comes in. She says Julian is now under surveillance and that Alexis will lose her license if he makes a misstep. Carly comes hurtling in and tells Olivia she has to drop the lawsuit.

Ava says Kiki is going to need a lot of time recovering, and Avery needs at least one parent with her, so Sonny should keep her for now. She leaves and Sonny gets on the phone. He’s the one who sent the rose.

Tomorrow, Dante finds Maxie’s handcuffs? (did I see that right?) Monica isn’t going to let Tracy die and Alexis needs Carly’s help.

The People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

If they make out, I swear I’ll drop this mug on your carpet.
They won’t, and if you do, you’ll buy me a new carpet.

— Nicole and Rachel respectively, referring to Jax and Stassi on Vanderpump Rules.

Bitch, I’m watching Ru Paul. Can you not call me? — Destiny, while watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

Who came up with that say uncle stuff?
Somebody’s uncle.

— Rashawn and Princella respetively, while watching Gotham.

Would you ever be on Naked and Afraid?
Hell no. We came into this world naked and afraid. We already did that show.

— Rashawn and Lamont respectively, while watching Naked and Afraid.

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