March 29, 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & More Dubai

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy still talks to Jason like he’s her father. Dillon tells her she’s supposed to rest. Sam and Jason leave. Jason tells Sam that Tracy thinks he’s Edward. Sam explains that Rachel is really Hayden.

Elizabeth tells Hayden to go ahead and stay, humiliate herself even more. She says she can’t wait for Nicholas to throw her lying ass out.

Valerie tells Curtis she crawled through dirt and broke her favorite heels to help him put the Crimson issue together, and she wants her cut. He says not until she agrees to another date.

Jordan tells Andre that reports of Carrrlos being alive just surfaced on the Internet. Andre wonders how Anna feels about that.

Anna accuses Sonny of being the one to leak the story that Carrrlos is still alive. This makes no sense to me, since it wouldn’t benefit him in any way

Dillon comes out and asks Jason what Tracy was talking about. He also asks about Rachel Berlin. Sam tells him that she’s Richard Berlin’s daughter, may or may not have been involved in the greatest ponzi scheme of all time, and that’s who Hayden really is.

Hayden says something to Elizabeth about Lucky and Elizabeth tries to smack her again. Hayden says she’s calling the police and having Elizabeth arrested for assault. I tell her I’ll be a witness.

Andre says he has a group session soon and asks Jordan if she wants to grab a bite to eat. He sees Valerie and Curtis, and says maybe he should have a group session right there.

Sonny says it’s a lot easier to find Carrrlos if he thinks he’s in the clear. Anna says if Sonny didn’t do it, who did?

Ava tells Scotty that the organization is after her because she was working with Paul. Scotty asks what she was thinking and Ava asks if they have attorney-client privilege. She gives him some money as retainer and tells him about Paul having the flash drive and blackmailing her. Now her own people are threatening to kill her, and that’s why she needs Scotty. He asks what he can possibly do.

Anna asks who Sonny told about Carrrlos, but there’s no one who would talk. Ditto for Anna. Sonny says two people come to mind, Julian and Ava. Anna says as far as she knows, they don’t know Carrrlos is alive. She suggests it’s Paul

Ava asks Scotty to move in with her for protection.

Sam wonders how Hayden ended up involved with Tracy. Dillon says her health is his priority right now and goes back into her room. Dillon approaches with caution and Tracy asks why he’s talking to her like she’s a hamster. He asks if she knows who Jason is. She says yes, and she knows who’s President too. Dillon tells her she thought Jason was Edward.

Elizabeth tells her to go ahead, call the cops, and she’ll never see Nicholas again. Hayden says go to hell. Elizabeth says she’d rather hang out with Nicholas, who will no doubt need sympathy. Then she’s going to the cops with a Rachel sighting. Unless Hayden leaves and never sees Nicholas or Spencer again.

Valerie says Curtis has a few bucks, so why don’t they go somewhere better than the diner. He agrees. A masked gunman suddenly comes into Kelly’s. Jordan creates a distraction and Curtis subdues the gunman. They’re like a well-oiled machine and it’s obvious they’ve done this before.

Sonny wonders why Paul would make it public unless he wants Carrrlos dead. Anna said Carrrlos must have decided that he didn’t want to cooperate and was safer on the run. Paul in turn decided he’d be safer without Carrrlos on the loose, since Carrrlos knows too much. Sonny says there are ways to find out what Paul is up to and suggests tapping his phone and bugging his office. He says he wants to get justice for Duke and his son.

Ava says she trusts Scotty. She says he only asked for money in regard to the flash drive, so she knows what kind of man he is. He says he’s not a bodyguard, but she says even just the appearance of it will be good. He asks what’s in it for her and she says money, lots of it.

Tracy says the only real Quartermaines left are Dillon and Ned. Ned comes in asking if he just heard his name.

Hayden is packed and ready to go. She leaves Spencer a note and stops to sniff Nicholas’s sweater. She leaves Windimere and says good by, wonderful new life.

Elizabeth wastes no time in hunting down Nicholas and saying she wants to be there for him. They hug and I retch.

The police come and cart off the gunman. Curtis says it was like old times. Jordan says he loved the work and it’s too bad he blew it. Valerie asks Curtis what really happened when he and Jordan worked together. Curtis ignores the question, and says they can probably get a free meal out of Kelly’s, so maybe they can get it to-go and go back to his place. Hayden walks in, saying she has a flat tire.

Elizabeth tells Nicholas about her threat to Hayden and telling her to take a head start out. Nicholas says he wishes she hadn’t. He talked to Spencer and he’s crazy about her. He says he’s also not ready to let her go.

Tracy argues with Dillon about calling Ned. Ned asks if it would be better if he just wanted to see a medical oddity. She says a little, but the only reason he’s there must be that she’s dying. Ned says he just wants to be there for her. She says not acceptable. He changes it to being concerned about Dillon’s concern.

Jason says he needs to get back the company Nicholas stole. Sam asks why it’s important and he says he owes the Quartermaines that much.

Anna asks Sonny how he knows about Duke’s son and Sonny tells her how they met. She tells Sonny that she told Griff about Carrrlos and she started to get paranoid that he was digging for information. Sonny says Griff told him to forgive Duke’s killer and he seemed sincere. Anna asks if he’s going to follow Griff’s advice.

Sonny says he and Griff bonded over their faith, but the only reason he didn’t have Carrrlos eliminated was so he could testify against Julian. He says it could change if things don’t work out and Anna suggests they stay within the parameters of the law for now. She mentions that Sonny let Ava live, but he says that’s a long way from forgiveness.

Scotty gets his hotel bill and says if he doesn’t pay it, he’ll be evicted tomorrow. Ava asks what happened to the money from the custody case. He says he lost his entire life savings because he invested with Richard Berlin.

Hayden tells Curtis she’s glad he’s there. Andre tells Jordan she was impressive and she says stick with her, it’s always an adventure. He says he’d like just the two of them in a room. She says she makes a mean Coq au Vin. He says he’ll bring the wine.

Curtis asks if someone found out Hayden is Rachel Berlin. She’s surprised he knew all the time. He says he checked her out early on and “If I were in your stilettos I’d want to bounce too.” She says Nicholas must hate her now, but Curtis says not necessarily

Nicholas tells Elizabeth he went into the relationship with his eyes wide open, but it didn’t stop him from falling for Hayden, and he can’t just turn his feelings off. Ah-ha! to Elizabeth in Nelson voice.

Tracy tells Ned about sharing the local delicacies in Mexico with Larry and how she got sick. She says if the treatment wasn’t started early enough, it could kill her. She says she has a deathbed wish. Ned and Dillon protest, and she says she’s not planning to die, but just in case, get back the family legacy.

Jason says he won’t allow Hayden to steal the company. Sam says it sounds like he’s fighting for his family. He says like it or not, he’s one of them. Sam says she knows he doesn’t remember them, but his father and grandfather would be proud.

Sonny says it’s not his first instinct to forgive, it’s to get revenge, but sometimes that can be messy and expensive. Anna says it’s a practical solution then and Sonny says sometimes. Anna wonders if Duke ever learned that lesson. They talk about Duke and Sonny says he feels responsible for his death. Anna says Griff suggested she forgive herself and maybe Sonny should consider it too. Sonny says he appreciates it more than she knows.

Ava tells Scotty it’s not the perfect solution, but it will work. They both agree they could do worse and shake on it.

Hayden says it’s only a matter of time until the world descends on her and without Nicholas she has nothing left in Port Charles. Curtis says she has him. They’re friends and she can get what she wants if she plays her cards right.

Andre leaves for work and Valerie sits down with Jordan. She tells Jordan she likes Curtis and it’s obvious there’s more between them that Jordan didn’t tell her.

Curtis says he doesn’t know Rachel, but he thinks he knows Hayden and she’s not a quitter. He tells her to go back to the castle and be a queen. She says maybe he’s right.

Elizabeth says she’s not going back to Windimere tonight. Nicholas asks her to stay because he doesn’t want to be alone right now. Bleh

Ned and Dillon say they’ll help get ELQ back. Tracy says she knows it’s just a company, but it’s her history. She asks them both to stay because she doesn’t want to die alone.

Jason says ELQ isn’t just about money, it’s about family. Sam says the Quartermaines are lucky to have him. He says he’s lucky to have her. Well, neither one of them is really Lucky. BA DUM CHHH!

Tomorrow, Kiki wants to know where Morgan is, Carly asks Sonny what he’s going to do about Carrrlos, and Alexis reads Kristina’s journal.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Rusty hears Randal saying something about his and Alex’s son and runs over to his house. Louise tells Randal to get inside. Rusty asks what Randal is talking about and what the sign is on his lawn. Randal says his son is Rusty’s grandson. He adds he’ll do everything in his power to keep the baby and Alex away from Rusty’s backwater ass.

Rusty tells him to take the sign down. Randal laughs and says Rusty doesn’t want the world to know he has a little Black grandson. He says according to the state Rusty is from, one drop of African American blood makes him a “negro.” Rusty runs back to the house.

Rusty asks Alex’s mother where the baby is and she says Alex left with him. He asks if Randal is lying, but she avoids the question, telling him to calm down. He asks where the gun is and she says she left it at the house. He asks if the baby is Black and she says yes. He asks where Alex went, but her mother says she and Brad can’t find her. Rusty insists Alex must have been raped by Randal.

Brad tells him to get out. Rusty says to call the law because someone is going to die. He asks what kind of man Brad is to let Alex be raped. Brad says he’s losing patience. Rusty says he brought him there because he couldn’t be a man and handle things himself. Brad says Alex and Randal had an affair. He says it was a mistake to invite them and now he wants them to leave. Rusty asks where Alex is and Brad tells him to get out like a thousand times. Brad says Rusty is the only rapist there.

Brad starts to punch Rusty out and Alex’s mother draws a gun. She tells Brad to lay off and grabs Rusty. They leave. Apparently without taking their belongings.

Kelly pulls up at her house where Ramses is mowing the lawn. He says he thinks he heard a gunshot, but Kelly says not in this neighborhood. He says he thinks it came from Brad’s house. Kelly asks him if he’s sure. He says yes, and she starts toward Brad’s, but Ramses says he’ll go over.

Ramses knocks on Brad’s door and asks if everything is okay. Brad asks Kelly if she’s seen Alex. She says not since the hospital. Kelly says Ramses thought he heard a gunshot. Brad explains what happened and says Alex’s mother shot at him. I guess I’m the only one who didn’t hear this. Kelly tells him he shouldn’t have brought them there. He says his plan backfired and he knows he did wrong. Kelly tells him it’s gone way too far. He asks Kelly to let him know if she calls or if she sees Alex.

Ramses asks what that was all about and Kelly tells him drama she wants no part of. They go into Kelly’s house.

Marcie calls Brad. She says he doesn’t sound too good. She tells him she’s in the new place and asks if he’s still in. He says yes. She says she saw Rusty and that it couldn’t have gone well. Brad says it was like an explosion, but they’re gone now. She asks if he’s still in “the rage,” and he’s vague. He says he just has to pack a bag and then he’ll be over.

Esperanza calls Eddie, who is obviously having sex, even though thankfully we don’t see it. She asks when he’s coming back to work and if he gave her back her house keys. He says he did. She asks if he’s enjoying himself and if she’s any good. He pretends not to know what she’s talking about and says he’s at work. He says even if he did have a girl over, what difference would it make? She says because he’s in her house.

He acts like she’s nuts, but then she walks in and tells him to get out. The girl jets, but Eddie says it’s his house; he paid for it. Esperanza says do it again and see what happens, and then tells him again to get out. Ben comes in and Esperanza tells him Eddie is going to drag him down with him and tells them both to get out. That was actually pretty funny when she walked in.

Natalie tells Joey to take the trash out. Joey tells her she knows she’s wrong about Lushion. He says if he was a dirty cop, he would know. Joey says he’s not still hanging out with a bad crowd, but he’d know because he asked around. He says Eddie is dirty, but Lu is clean. He says he took her home approval out of the trash and she shouldn’t let anything keep her from her dreams.

Natalie looks at the approval letter. She leaves for work, telling Joey to feed his siblings when they get home from school.

Julius is in Randal’s office and asks Randal if he has information. Randal says he spoke to Julius’s father. Julius asks what this is about and if his father thinks he’s crazy. Randal says no, but Julius says he must since he’s having him talk to a shrink. Randal is so crazy, I always forget that’s his job. Randal says he thinks Julius is angry because his father wasn’t around much during Julius’s childhood. In true shrink fashion, he asks how that made Julius feel. Julius says like he wasn’t there. Randal asks if he felt lonely. Julius says when he was four, he killed a bird every day when his father didn’t come home, and the longest was a year. When his mother found out, she sent him to boarding school.

Again, Randal asks how that made him feel. Julius says angry and it made him do things he never thought he’d do. He started raping girls, following them home and sneaking in the windows. He says he got addicted to that and then to cocaine and mutilating animals. A budding serial killer. He says he also started cutting himself and shows Randal his wienie saying he circumcised himself. Seriously, this guy needs to be locked up.

Julius says he’s not crazy. Randal and his father are crazy. Randal says no one thinks that. Julius asks if he’s turned on. Randal says sorry, but that would be a no. Randal wants to talk about the birds, but Julius wants to talk about the rapes. He starts to cry and Randal asks what he’s feeling. He’s faking and says Randal and his father are a couple of idiots. He was lying and his mother was wonderful and always there, so he never felt neglected.

Julius says this is his father’s way of trying to keep him out of his will. He says Randal won’t see another day if he causes a problem. He asks if they’re done. Randal asks if he’d like them to be done and Julius says yes. He tells Randal to tell his father he’s fine and Randal says he will. Julius leaves. A-hole.

Kelly asks Ramses how much she owes him for mowing her lawn. He says dinner. He asks if she wants to do it and she’s like, what? but he means the mowing and dinner deal. Kelly says he’s not going to be there that long and she doesn’t want to get attached to him. He says it’s just dinner and she’s a gravity chick — she falls hard. She asks if he’s a player, since he has no wife and kids. Then she asks if he’s gay. He says yes, and she says she knew it. He says not really and why doesn’t she just say what she wants to say? Kelly asks why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He says he had a girl, but she left him because of the military; the time away was too much, and he’s been cautious ever since. He adds that she shouldn’t judge people, but she says she’s just curious. He says the best way for them to get their questions answered is dinner.

He says he might be there longer than she thinks, since he hasn’t heard from Marcie. Kelly says she has other realtors for him. He says he doesn’t think Marcie is doing well. She says there’s drama going on. They flirt a little.

They go out the back door and Alex is there with the baby. Ramses brings her inside.

Alex is crying and Kelly asks if Brad tried to hurt her. She says to please go get her other children. She says she’s sorry and Kelly asks her what’s happening. Alex says she heard a gunshot and asks if Brad is okay. Kelly says yes, and Alex tells her about her father. Kelly says Brad told Alex’s parents to leave.

There’s a knock at the door and Alex hides. It’s Brad. He says he can’t find Alex anywhere and if she sees Alex to tell her that he’s left and he’s not coming back. He asks Kelly to please help find her. The baby starts crying and Brad tries to force his way into the house, but Ramses subdues him. He tells Brad to relax and lets him up. He says he wants to talk to Alex and Ramses says she doesn’t want to talk to him. Brad calls out that her parents have gone and he’s sorry. He asks that she please talk to him.

Alex comes out with the baby and Brad apologizes ten times. He says he shouldn’t have brought her parents there and it was a mistake. He says he’s leaving and promises he won’t bother her. He tosses his keys on the table and says he’ll call about seeing the kids. Alex says nothing and just cries quietly. Brad says he’s sorry again and leaves.

At the station, Claudia sees Lushion. She says he looks stressed and asks if it’s getting to him. He says yes, and she says her too. She talks about all the rookies that have been killed and asks how Pete is. He says it’s too soon to tell. She says let’s get some beers. Lushion says that’s not a good idea. She says he can talk to her any time, but he says she should keep her distance. She ignores the warning and gives him her number. He says it’s not a good idea and Natalie, who has come up behind him, says she doesn’t think so either.

Next week, Alex’s other kids ask why the baby is tan, Brad says he wants Marcie, and Randal says he’s going to ruin Marcie’s life.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I just have to start by saying shame on these women. What most of us wouldn’t give to have a vacation like this, and they’re going to spend it arguing — about nonsense.

Kyle and LisaV go to a place where you can swim with sea lions. The suits are like diving suits and very hard to get into. Eileen and Erika go to an aquarium, and Kathryn and LisaR go to the spa. It would be hard to choose. Like the kid in Scrooge said, I can’t have none of ‘em, so I might as well like all of ‘em.

The sea lions are flipping all around and one comes up and they all pet it. Lisa just about goes out of her mind. They get sea lion kisses and she wants to take one home.

Eileen and Erika discuss LisaR’s feeling of being enraged in seeing Yolanda’s photo with Kim and Brandy. Erika says the word enraged is strong and I agree, but I think Lisa doesn’t really know the meaning of a lot of words.

LisaR is also discussing it with Kathryn, who says Yolanda feels judged.

Eileen and LisaR get together for coffee in Lisa’s room. The view is amazing and Lisa tells her about the spa day. Eileen says Erika doesn’t understand the enraged business. Eileen says she thinks Lisa really meant she was just upset. That was a nice way of saying what I did, she doesn’t use words properly.

Eileen brings up LisaV and that people are having a problem saying how they feel. They both have fabulous earrings on and it’s really taking my attention away. Lisa says she’s more open with Eileen because she feels safe with her, and she doesn’t get why she has to share her deepest feelings with everyone. Eileen says she isn’t as brave with a group and she retreats.

The ladies go out to the desert, passing the world’s tallest building. I can’t believe their as dressed up a they are. They pull over and some dude gives them head scarves. They get into a jeep and drive into the desert. Yikes! It’s like a roller coaster ride and I don’t think these girls are wearing seat belts.

They get to this spot that has a bunch of pillows where they sit and have juice drinks. A falconer is there to give them a demonstration with his falcon, Gizmo. LisaV asks if she can pet it and the guy says after he’s done eating. (The falcon, not the guy.) Everyone gets their picture taken holding the falcon. It does look pretty cool.

Next is an Arabian Nights Dinner. They go to an outdoor spot. There are camels hanging out and a henna lady. Kyle goes to get a tattoo. It’s a dry night — they don’t explain why — so they can’t have any alcohol. They’re given some drink that they love until they find out it has camel milk in it. Please. That’s as bad as my husband who loved moo shu pork until he found out it had mushrooms in it. A woman does some dancing and they join her.

The head waiter, or whatever he is, lists the menu. Everyone passes on the camel meat except for Kathryn. Yeah, I’d pass too, especially when there’s three of them sitting there. She says it’s gamey, but good. LisaV jokes that there’s only two camels now. LisaR brings up the Yolanda thing. Erika says she thought that was over and asks why Lisa was “enraged” by the picture. She asks if Lisa likes Yolanda. She says they need some time.

LisaR asks what Erika thinks of her. Erika says she likes her more than when she first met her because she has trust issues. Lisa asks if Erika judges people and Erika says no. Lisa says when she saw Erika’s video, she judged a book by it’s cover. Saying what I’m thinking, Erika says Lisa posed for Playboy — twice. Eileen thinks she’s avoiding talking about Yolanda. Lisa says she wishes Erika would open up more, but Erika says she doesn’t think so.

The head waiter brings out a hookah. Erika tells LisaR that she wishes she and Yolanda would be friends. Lisa says she feels that Yolanda’s illness keeps her from being honest. Everyone smokes. What the blip is a hookah anyway? I understand a water pipe, but don’t get this hookah stuff.

LisaR takes LisaV aside. She asks her about her asking why she didn’t bring Kyle up in regard to the Munchhausen thing. LisaV says she didn’t say that; she said she wondered why she hadn’t dragged them all into it. LisaR says no one is owning up to anything, but LisaV says she never said anything about Munchhausen. In her individual interview, LisaR says she realized LisaV was lying to her. I dunno. It’s not important enough for me to have actually retained the exact conversation, but the first time I heard Munchhausen, it was from LisaR.

The next day they go to the market downtown. They find some shoes that they recognize from Sex in the City and get excited. They try to barter, but none of them are very good at it. It’s Kathryn’s birthday the next day, so they talk about that. Kathryn tries on a caftan and there’s a roach on it, and she goes crazy. Obviously not a New Yorker. LisaR asks Eileen if they can talk later, since no one can let anything go. They go over their bargains on the way home. Erika gives Karhryn a birthday present. She says it’s not her real present, it’s her bs present. It’s a souvenir replica of the tallest building.

LisaR, Kathryn and Kyle have dinner while the others take a nap. Lisa has to bring up talking to LisaV and Munchhausen and bringing Kyle into it. Kyle says she already knew all about that. Kyle says she already over it with LisaV and she thinks that Lisa does care about her regardless. She doesn’t want to continue to rehash it because she’s enjoying their friendship.

LisaR says no one calls LisaV on anything. Kyle says she’s not as strong as everyone thinks. LisaR says it’s no excuse to lie.

LisaR tells Eileen about LisaV changing what she said. Eileen says it’s frustrating because no one backs her up on LisaV’s lack of accountability. Maybe it’s me, but I think this point is being belabored. LisaR tells Eileen about what Kyle told her. Eileen says she can’t believe Kyle knew LisaV tried to throw her under the bus. LisaR says that LisaV doesn’t like Yolanda and that’s why she tried to get her to talk about Yolanda. Again, I dunno about that, but why is this necessary on such an amazing vacation?

Erika tells her glam squad about the bug on Kathryn’s dress. Dubai realness at its finest. Kathryn comes by and thank God they don’t talk about anything deep.

They go to a private outdoor spot for dinner. I want to cry because I know another argument is coming. I guess it’s no longer dry time because the ladies all get a cocktail. LisaV isn’t there yet, so LisaR has to say how horrified she was to notice LisaV lying. Erika says that LisaR is living in the past and she wants to get to know her today.

LisaV and Kyle join the group. LisaV says she’s obviously being ignored. Kyle says they’re going to the mall tomorrow and gives them the rules. No swearing, no talking about sex, and dressing appropriately. Good luck with this and get the bail money ready.

Eileen prods LisaR to sh*t stir. LisaR tells LisaV she rewrote the truth. LisaR asks her why she told her to bring Kyle into the Munchhausen convo. LisaV says she didn’t say that. She says she told her that she was glad she didn’t involve all of them. Kyle says that LisaV told her she was glad LisaR didn’t bring her into it. Erika is like wtf? can we have a drink, ride a camel, anything but fight? What a concept.

Eileen gets involved. LisaR says the truth is the truth and she’s not the only one going down for this. Whatta gangsta. LisaR says that she became the scapegoat when LisaV and Kyle were already talking about Yolanda’s illness. But neither one of them ever did use the Munchhausen word. That was LisaR. Eileen gets a squeaky voice and says that she can’t believe Kyle thinks this is all okay and it’s just the way LisaV is. Kyle says maybe it seems weird, but she knows LisaV loves her. She says she loves LisaV and takes the good with the bad. Kyle starts to cry and says maybe it’s because she has bigger problems, but she doesn’t care. I don’t care because it’s unimportant nonsense.

LisaR says LisaV changed the story. Kathryn doesn’t think either one of them is lying. Eileen brings up the Hamptons. Geez. LisaV asks what it was that was so offensive. Eileen tells her that asking when her affair with Vince started was hurtful. She says Lisa only apologized for asking too many questions, even though Eileen wasn’t exactly specific at the time. She’d only said Lisa was prying. Eileen tells her just learn to say you’re sorry.

Kathryn thinks it’s a cultural difference and LisaV’s apology didn’t come with the warm fuzzies that Eileen wants. I tend to agree. In her individual interview, LisaR says she lost respect for LisaV. They both say they have respect for one another at the table, so what up wit dat, LisaR? LisaV says she’s had enough, but Kyle makes her stay.

LisaR says they’re not coming from a bad place, just being honest. LisaV says she doesn’t feel like she can say anything. LisaR says she’s not the victim. Erika says obviously LisaV isn’t going to give LisaR the response she wants, so why don’t they move on?

Next week, the girls visit the mall of my dreams, we get to see the tallest building, Yolanda has a picnic with Brandi and Kim, and there’s more arguing.

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