Monthly Archives: April 2016

April 29, 2016 — Make It a Double GH Garnished with a Quote

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

Tracy argues loudly with Obrecht while a crowd gathers outside her room. Monica hears Finn making plans to leave and tells him she has the feeling there’s a change in the air. Obrecht comes out looking like she was in a prizefight. She tells everyone to get back to work and Tracy tells her that her reign at GH is over.

Maxie wakes Nathan up, asking him ruffled or naked? He’s like, wha…? and she shows him wedding cake photos. She wants to make sure there are no repeat performances and asks him to tell her about his first wedding.

Michael shows up late for Sonny’s birthday party. Sonny says at least he got a tan out of it and asks how Puerto Rico was. Carly and Sonny tell Michael that Sabrrrina made her own decision and he should move on.

Sam and Jason wake up to a rooster alarm. Jason wants to stay, but Sam says they told Danny they were only going to be away one night. They kiss and Sam decides one more night won’t kill them. I wonder if the person watching them will try.

Nathan tells Maxie it wasn’t much of a wedding and that they just went to the courthouse. He says it was a marriage of convenience. Maxie says he fell in love with Claudette later, so some of the memories might have changed to good ones. He says if she wants to avoid any comparison to Claudette not to cheat on him.

Obrecht goes on about how she changed things and made GH thrive. Tracy says HR might think otherwise, since the employee turnover rate is massive. Obrecht pulls her name tag off and throws it aside. Monica says there’s an offer on the table and Obrecht says a demotion is as good as dismissal. Tracy asks Monica if she wants Obrecht to stay on.

Michael asks Carly how many times someone had to save her from her own decisions. Sonny tells him Carrrlos is dangerous and he doesn’t want Michael anywhere near the situation.

Sam and Jason leave the barn. They see muddy footprints outside.

We segue into seeing Franco’s feet walking into his condo. (Nice editing!) Nina asks what happened to him and where has he been.

Maxie asks if Nathan is headed to the station and he says yes. She asks if he knows that she wouldn’t cheat on him and he says he’s sorry for mentioning it, since she’s the opposite of Claudette. Maxie says if Claudette had returned Nathan’s feelings, they would have stayed married. Nathan is unsure about that and Maxie wonders what if Claudette showed up today. Nathan says that’s highly unlikely, he loves Maxie, and doesn’t want this to keep coming between them. He tells her to get her questions out of the way, but she says she’s done and it’s behind them. If you believe that, I have some land in Florida that you might like to buy.

Obrecht is shocked that Monica is her replacement and says it’s nepotism at its worst. Tracy asks if Monica wants the position and she says yes. Monica says she wants to discuss a new position with Obrecht. Tracy suggests something janitorial. Obrecht says she won’t be made a fool of and leaves. Tracy says she’ll be back. As her first decision, Monica asks Finn to be a part of the staff. He declines.

Michael tells Sonnyy he’s not going to walk blindly into danger, but he’s not walking away from it either.

Jason says whoever was there was watching for a while. Sam wonders if it’s the barn owner. Jason says they got a good show. They both get phone calls and head out.

Nina asks what Franco was doing out all night in the rain. He says he had car trouble. She says all night? He says he’d been doing some painting, went out to a bar, and after a few drinks realized he shouldn’t drive home, so he ended up sleeping in the car. He says the car was stuck in mud and he had to push it out. She says he could have called her. Franco says they’re at a fork in the road and have to decide if they want to go down it together.

Finn says he likes it at GH fine, but when he came there, he was in the middle of doing some research. Monica says they’re known for their research. He asks for unfettered access to the lab and says he doesn’t play well with others. Monica tells him whatever he wants, he has it, and Finn says then they have him.

Sam meets Maxie at the bar. Maxie says her life is teetering on the edge of ruin and pulls some straw out of Sam’s hair. She tells Sam she needs a P.I. She says Nathan has been lying to her and she can’t marry him until she knows what he’s keeping from her and why.

Nathan meets Michael at the station. Michael wants to talk to Carrrlos, who has taken up residence in the interrogation room. Nathan advises against it, but Michael doesn’t listen.

Jason comes to Sonny’s office. Sonny tells him Michael is in trouble.

Nina says she didn’t sleep all night, worrying about him and thinking about them as a couple. He tells her she’s projecting and she says she’s trying to hold them together. She says it would help if he’d listen to her. Franco says she does whatever she wants anyway. He says he was’t trying to hurt her, but just cheer her up. Nina starts to cry and says she lost 20 years of her life, her baby and the ability to have another one, and she doesn’t know how to get over it. She says she needs understanding and compassion, and she doesn’t feel like he’s capable of giving that to her.

Franco just looks at her and she says all the time and effort in the relationship is down the drain. Franco says they can move forward, but she just needs to say good-by.

Nina says it’s not what she wanted for them. Franco says he can’t give her what she wants and it’s not going to change. Nina wonders if there’s no way around it. Franco says if there’s no way for her, then there’s no way for him, and he wishes he was enough. Nina walks out of the room. This is too sad. I love them together.

Maxie tells Sam about Nathan’s previous marriage and how he lied about it in the beginning. Sam says what else does she need to know? She says that’s what she needs Sam to find out. Sam says as her friend, she can’t take the case.

Obrecht comes to the station and Nathan asks what’s wrong. She wants to take him to breakfast, but he tells her he just got to work. He asks what’s wrong again. She tells him she’s no longer chief-of-staff at the hospital and starts to cry. Geez, this is a bummer of a show today.

Finn tells Carly that Tracy has been released back into the wild, and lets’ her know about the position he’s taking at GH. They sit down at a table in the MetroCourt, and he asks about Jocelyn. Carly says she’s doing fine. He says her concern was understandable, especially since Jocelyn had a kidney transplant. She says he doesn’t know the half of it, but then again, neither does she. When he asks what she means, she tells him GH is a great hospital, but it has a dark side.

Monica gets loaded down with a stack of files that Obrecht had been dealing with. The secretary tells Monica it’s all time sensitive and there’s a meeting in 20 minutes. Tracy looks over Monica’s shoulder and makes comments. Monica suggests scheduling a colonoscopy for her if she doesn’t leave.

Michael asks Carrrlos where Sabrrrina is. Carrrlos says she’s safe and last he checked, Michael was the furthest thing from her mind.

Nathan says GH will never have another chief-of-staff who works as hard as Obrecht. She says his support means everything to her and let this be a lesson to him. She says she said some things she regretted and confession isn’t always good for the soul. She tells him to say nothing about Claudette to Maxie.

Sam tells Maxie this isn’t a road she wants to go down if she loves Nathan. Maxie says she does, but she’d asked him what would happen if Claudette showed up and all he said was he can’t see that happening. She says she needs to know what he’s hiding and if Sam won’t help, she’ll find someone who will.

Carly tells Finn that Jocelyn’s kidney didn’t come from Jake. He says organs don’t just come out of nowhere, and Carly tells him Sonny is investigating it.

Jason says if Michael didn’t listen to Sonny, he’s not going to listen to him. Sonny says they have a different relationship, and if trouble comes along, Jason can also handle it.

Carrrlos says Sabrrrina is trying to forget about Michael. He says she sees him for who he is, a pig just like his father. I wouldn’t go that far, but the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Nina is carrying some bags, says she’ll be at the MetroCourt, and Franco can forward her mail. He says it’s her apartment, but she says no, it’s his and Kiki’s, and she’ll send for her things. She starts to cry and says she’s never broken up with someone before. Franco says you just put one foot in front of the other and keep on going. He says it’s never easy, but it’s something you have to do. She asks if he’s going to be okay and he says it doesn’t matter.

Nina leaves and Franco says he’ll be just fine. He knows exactly how to handle rejection.

Monica is approached by a board member who congratulates her. She says thanks for the vote, and he says he wasn’t on the team that wanted her, but they were voted down. Monica asks Tracy if she was behind Monica getting the job. Tracy asks if Monica will hassle her if she says yes, and Monica says she will, so Tracy says no.

Sam tells Maxie she’ll dig up the information, but says Maxie might be sorry they had this conversation.

Nathan tells Obrecht that if he tells Maxie, she’ll tell Dante and Lulu. Obrecht says if that happens, he’ll end up in Pentenville.

Finn tells Carly how the kidney became available might not be a happy story and is she sure she wants to know.

Jason tells Sonny that he doesn’t remember the work he did for him, but he must have retained muscle memory. Sonny says he does what he has to do when the family is threatened. Sonny tells Jason that Michael has it in his head that Carrrlos kidnapped Sabrrrina. Sonny says there’s no proof of that, but he’s worried it’s going to end badly.

Franco is sketching. It’s a crazy-looking pic of Nina. Although it could possibly be argued that Franco was going for a 60’s retro effect.

Sonny tells Jason he wouldn’t be asking him to do this if there was another way, but the more he tries to protect Michael, the more Michael pushes back. He says if Michael keeps going, he’ll end up in serious trouble.

Michael says Carrrlos must have Sabrrrina under lock & key. Carrrlos says even if Michael finds her, she doesn’t want him, because Sabrrrina is his wife now.

Tomorrow, Paul tells Anna she’s in even worse trouble (like that’s possible), Jordan asks Michael about Sabrrrina, and Finn thinks the kidney came from the black market.

General Hospital — Friday

Carly explains about Jake’s past to Finn and how everyone thought he was dead. She tells Finn they’d thought that Jocelyn’s kidney came from Jake, but then he was found alive. Finn says she might not want to know the truth.

Brad and Lucas discuss the upcoming nuptials. Lucas nixes The Floating Rib as a venue. Thank you. He thinks Brad is stalling because he keeps moving the date up.

Jordan tells Anna she has her full support. Scotty says he has a secret weapon and Anna says she was afraid of that. He tells Paul he’ll be sorry he ever messed with Anna, but Paul says she’s in more trouble than she knows.

Carrrlos tells Michael that he and Sabrrrina had a boy, and his wife and son are waiting for him. Michael says Carrrlos is looking at a life sentence, but Carrrlos says he’s getting out.

Sonny wants Jason to help Michael in any way he can. He asks if there’s a problem with that and Jason says it depends.

Brad says he’s not stalling. Lucas points out that the date has gone from May to October. Brad says he wants May, but Lucas doesn’t want city hall, which is the only place they can get. The MetroCourt is booked too, so Brad says they’ll find another place. They profess their love for one another. For Pete’s sake, do you mean to tell me that two guys who both make a decent salary can’t afford something outside of Port Charles? They’re supposed to be close to NYC too.

Carly asks Finn if he thinks Jocelyn’s kidney came from the black market and he says it’s a good possibility. Carly asks what his definition of black market is, and if some poor parent whose child died had to sell the organ. Finn says that’s one way, and she asks if he’s talking about murder.

Sonny tells Jason he was Sonny’s best friend. He says Michael’s life is potentially at risk. Jason knows good and well that Sonny wants Carrrlos dead, and he asks if he’s supposed to create the opportunity for that like he did when he worked for Sonny. Sonny says he has to respect that Jason is different now, but Carrrlos is going to use Sabrrrina as leverage and Michael could end up as a hostage or dead. He’s just asking Jason to stop him.

Michael asks if Carrrlos married Sabrrrina so she won’t have to testify against him, and Carrrlos says they love each other. Michael says if he loves Sabrrrina and the baby, he’ll tell Michael where they are so he can help them. Carrrlos says his lawyer took care of everything and he’s going to be getting out. Enter Alexis, who asks Michael to leave.

Paul wants to talk to Anna, but Scotty intervenes. Anna tells Scotty it’s okay, but he tells her it’s not smart. Paul tells Anna that she went out of her way to get arrested. She says she’s taking responsibility for her actions, unlike him, who jumps through hoops to avoid responsibility. He says Carrrlos will testify against Julian for a reduced sentence. Anna says the only way it’s going to end is with a jury deciding if all of their actions were justified.

Paul leaves and Anna asks Scotty about his secret weapon. She thinks they’ll need it. The hearing starts.

Anna pleads not guilty. Scotty petitions for Anna’s release and Paul says the people request she be held without bail. Judge Chua asks on what grounds. Paul talks about Anna’s training as an agent and how she could disappear. Scotty says she wants her day in court. Paul says her mental state has deteriorated since Duke’s death. He brings up a psyche evaluation by some doctor we don’t know.

Finn says Jocelyn seems healthy, but Carly says there could be problems down the line. Finn says that would be the case regardless. Carly says what if there are health complications from the kidney down the line?

Jason says he doesn’t want to stop Michael from doing what he feels is right. Sonny says Jason had one rule, he’d make his own choices right or wron, and face the consequences. It took Sonny a long time to get him to understand that sometimes you have to intervene if someone is vulnerable or comes up against more than they can handle. He asks again for help with Michael and Jason says why him?

Michael warns Alexis, saying he hopes she rethinks this for Molly and Kristina’s sake. He leaves and Carrrlos says Michael is just like his father, arrogant and full of himself. Alexis tells him the motion is dead because a witness came forward who saw him shoot Duke.

Anna tells Scotty she was perfectly composed during the sessions, but the judge says the report is cause for concern. Scotty says if Anna wanted to disappear, she could, but she believes in truth justice and the American way, unlike Paul. Paul says the evaluation speaks for itself and she’s deteriorated since Dukes death. The judge says her mental state makes her a likely flight risk. Andre comes in and says he has something to say about that.

Brad finds an open date on May 24th, but thats the Nurses Ball. Thanks for letting us know. Mark your calendars.

Carly tells Finn they’re friends now.

Sonny tells Jason that Michael will listen to him more than anyone else. Jason has doubts. Sonny says he feels badly for Sabrrrina, but she chose her own life and he doesn’t want Michael to risk his. He says he got a call that Michael was talking to Carrrlos and asks why Jason won’t help him.

Michael asks Jordan for an update on Sabrrrina. Why is this kid allowed the run of the station house?

Alexis tells Carrrlos about the eyewitness. Carrrlos thinks it sounds shady and Alexis says they’re looking into it. She tells him what Hale said and how he ID’d Carrrlos as the shooter.

Jordan says as far as they know Sabrrrina is hiding to keep from testifying. Michael asks if anybody thought she’s being held against her will. Jordan says there have been new developments as far as Carrrlos goes, but she’ll let him know if they hear about Sabrrrina.

Carrrlos thinks Sonny is behind it. Alexis says they have no evidence of that. Carrrlos says if she doesn’t figure something out, he’ll testify against Julian.

Carly tells Finn about her friendship with Jason and how it was never judgmental. She says she doesn’t see him often now, but she tries to pay it forward. He asks if that’s what she’s doing with him. She tells him he shouldn’t be eating a cookie if he’s diabetic. He tells her to butt out in a nice way. I’m thinking Finn isn’t diabetic and maybe he’s the reason for the drug dispensary audit. What say you?

Sonny says he’s just asking Jason to talk to Michael and tell him to stay away from Carrrlos. Jason says Carrrlos is locked up. Sonny says he owes Jason the truth and asks if he wants to hear it, but Jason says no. He says he has too much to lose to go back to being Sonny’s heavy.

Andre tells the court who he is and says he’s there to speak on Anna’s behalf. Paul objects because Anna and Andre are friends, and says that Andre recused himself from evaluating her. Andre says after thinking about it, he thought he might have input for the court. He’s sworn in.

Andre tells the court that Anna was referred to him by Doc because she was having insomnia. He talks about what happened with Anna nailing Carrrlos in South America and how she followed the letter of the law. He says she’s a person of honor and integrity, and upheld the law even when the system failed her. He tells the judge that Anna is brave and principled, and one of the sanest people he’s ever met.

Brad tells Lucas they’re officially at an impasse. Lucas says when two people are in love like they are, anything is possible. Brad needs to talk to Finn and leaves the search to Lucas. He welcomes Finn to the staff. He says he knows Finn requested lab time and asks what for.

Sonny tells Jason he’s always been free to walk away and he won’t ask him for anything again. Enter Carly. Jason tells Sonny sorry about the misunderstanding and leaves. Carly asks if Sonny is okay, and Sonny tells her what happened. He wishes he could reach Michael.

Alexis says the witness is a junkie and once she examines him, no one will believe a word he says. Carrrlos suggests Julian make the witness disappear, but Alexis says there are other ways of dealing with things.

Andre tells the court that whatever Anna says, they can believe. The judge sets bail at $500K. She tells Anna not to make her regret her decision. Anna thanks Andre. They hug and of course Jordan sees it.

Finn tells Brad he’s conducting some specialized research and prefers to work on his own. Brad says the lab is his responsibility and he doesn’t like anyone around when he’s not there. Finn says open access to the lab and confidentiality were part of the deal

Scotty tells Paul he’s a sore loser.Paul says Anna is mentally unsound. Scotty tells him not to go after Anna again, since he and Andre know the truth.

Andre apologizes for making things more difficult and says he had no right to doubt Anna. He says he meant every word he said to the judge and she’s a person of extraordinary integrity.

Michael goes back in the interrogation room, and Carrrlos says he and his father can go to hell. He says Sonny is trying to frame him. He says what’s bad for him could be good for Michael, and maybe they can make a deal.

Carly tells Sonny sometimes she sees flashes of the old Jason. She says she wants to hit Jason sometimes and Sonny says he’d pay to see that. She says she wants Jason to understand that he’s still the same, but Sonny says maybe he’s not.

Michael asks what Carrrlos could offer and says there’s not much he can do for him. Carrrlos says he’ll tell him where Sabrrrina is for a price — his freedom. He wants Michael to help him break out. Jason watches through the window.

On Monday, Sam asks Julian if he had anything to do with Duke’s murder, Jason interrupts Michael and Carrrlos, and Jordan slaps Andre. Girl, please.

Quote of the Week

No People’s Couch <sniff>, but I did pick up this little gem the other day:

You’ll worry less about what people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.
— David Foster Wallace

April 27, 2016 — GH, Little Reunion, Baby Number Two & NYC Wives

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden meets Curtis at The Floating Rib. She snaps her fingers for the waitstaff and Curtis suggests she not be rude, lest their be retaliation like spitting in her food.

Epiphany has to do inventory and is not too pleased. She tells Finn there’s a problem with the pill count in the dispensory. She’s being audited because someone else didn’t do their job.

Tracy is ready to leave the hospital in the morning. She tells Finn she’s not done with him yet. He asks if that’s a backgammon invitation, but she says it’s more serious than that.

Dillon and Kiki are in the garage. He asks how Kiki is holding up and she says so far, so good.

Kristina goes to visit Morgan and bumps into a young guy.

Julian tells someone (probably Hammer, since he’s the only guy who works for the organization) on the phone to find out who the eyewitness is and make sure he doesn’t talk.

Once again, Jason and Sam get caught in the rain. They run into a stable. Someone is watching them from outside.

Hayden tells Curtis things haven’t been going well. He asks what about her end game? She tells him Nicholas tricked her by selling the ELQ shares to Jason. She says it’s over, both her marriage and taking over ELQ. She says she thought about making restitution to her father’s clients, but she can’t do that with only $5 million. She checked the prenup and there’s no way out of Nicholas giving it to her. Curtis says clearly they’re from different circles, since where he comes from losers don’t get a consolation prize like that. He advises her to take the money and run.

Tracy tells Finn that there’s going to be an emergency hospital board meeting. She says Obrecht isn’t acting in the best interest of the hospital. She’s staging a coup, and when the dust settles, Finn will be on staff.

Jason gives Sam his coat and they kiss.

Alexis brings Leo downstairs. He wasn’t sleeping and caught her looking at him. Julian says he’s having a problem at the office. Alexis asks who it is he wants to make sure doesn’t talk?

Dillon doesn’t want to wait for the auto service, so he decides to change the tire himself. Kiki asks if he wants to make movies, why did he leave LA? Dillon says his brother was worried about his mom, his dad moved back to town, and life happened. He says he was glad to be there when his mom got sick though. He talks about Maxie’s sister, Georgie, and how she was murdered and he gets why Kiki wants to hid from the world. He says things were better once he decided to go back out into the world.

New guy says he hasn’t met Morgan yet. Kristina tells him to look at the place like a clinic, not a loony bin, but he says he’s there to visit someone. While he’s talking to her, Morgan comes out and new guy leaves.

Kristina gives Morgan a playlist of upbeat music. Morgan tells her new guy was totally hitting on her.

Curtis gives Hayden sports analogies to tell her to focus on what she has, not what she lost. She says if she got the ELQ money, she could have paid some people back. Curtis says that was her father’s problem, and she shouldn’t feel obligated to clean up the mess. She says she has to meet someone who will prbably have more bad news.

Julian tells Alexis he was calling in a favor because his family’s safety is his first priority. He says he hired a legit security firm, but Alexis says she doesn’t want or need it. He says it’s a high profile case with a lot at stake for a lot of people. Alexis asks if he’s done anything to compromise himself or the case, but Julian says no. He takes Leo back to bed.

It’s still pouring. Jason saw a car pull up, but although he tried to get their attention, they left. Sam is stressing about Franco, but Jason tells her not to worry. Sam says she’s afraid for Jason and doesn’t want anything to take him away from her or Danny. Jason suggests they find a way to keep warm.

Kristina asks Morgan if he heard about her and Parker. Morgan asks who is he? Kristina explains what happened and how she got suspended, and by the way, Parker is a woman. Morgan is like, really? you got suspended? Kristina says it’s funny he’s more focused on that than her trying to have sex with a woman. Morgan says that’s how it goes in college and at least he’s not the only screw up now.

Hayden comes to Tracy’s hospital room. Tracy introduces her to Finn. Finn tells Tracy good luck and Tracy says she’ll see him soon. Hayden asks if Tracy called her in to gloat. Tracy tells her she’s fired.

Epiphany says she has to ask Finn something and she’s dreading it.

Alexis looks at the preliminary report from the eyewitness. Julian says he guesses he’s not allowed to look at it and she tells him he guessed right and puts it in her bag. She says it’s not great for the marriage to keep secrets, but it’s necessary. Julian says as long as his old life seeps into their new one, it has to be done. She says her head gets it, but her heart doesn’t like it. Julian says the eyewitness feels like a plant, like something Sonny would do. Alexis says the witness doesn’t seem that credible.

Kiki talks about depression and like it’s losing all hope even when it’s given back to you. Dillon asks if that’s how she feels and she says she shouldn’t because she survived and everything is fine now. Dillon says just because the body is healed doesn’t mean the spirit is healed on the same timetable. Kiki says Morgan seems to be getting better an she wishes she would to.

Kristina says Sonny doesn’t know about Parker being a woman. Morgan thinks he’d be accepting, but Kristina says she doesn’t want to test that right now. Morgan thanks her for acting normal and not making him feel like the biggest screw up in the world. She says it takes one to know one.

Finn asks if there have been more complaints about Roxie. Epiphany says no, but asks him if he can sing. He asks if she’s asking him out to karaoke and she says she has a boyfriend. She tells him about the Nurses Ball and says she’ll be expecting him to participate. he says he has no talents and she says he’ll fit right in.

Hayden tells Tracy she knows she lost everything, mostly because of her own bad decisions. Tracy says Hayden was successful before her father ruined things. Tracy says she hates wasted potential. Hayden says don’t worry, she won’t ask for a reference. Tracy says she sometimes almost feels sorry for Hayden, then she remembers what a self-serving bitch she is. Hayden says she doesn’t need Tracy’s sympathy and walks out the door, nearly running into Finn. He asks if she really feels badly about the lives that were ruined by her and her father.

Jason and Sam cuddle, and Jason talks about how happy she’s made him. He says he’s concerned though about getting into it with Nicholas and Franco, and doesn’t want any payback. Sam says she feels safest when she’s with him.

Hayden asks if Finn invested money with her father and she’s sorry. He says someone he cared about had been affected. She says she had no idea what her father was doing until it was too late and if she could make restitution, she would. Finn says yeah, right.

Alexis says she said too much already, so just forget it. Julian says he shouldn’t have pressed, but it seems fishy that someone should step forward right now. Alexis hears Leo on the monitor. She tells Julian she loves their life together and goes to check on the baby. No surprise, Julian heads straight for her bag and looks at the paper.

Dillon gets the tire changed and complements Kiki on being out in the world without a meltdown. He asks if she wants to go for ice cream and she says yes.

Kristina runs into new guy again on her way out. He asks if he can call her some time. Introducing himself would be a great start.

Julian calls Hammer. He tells him he has the witness’s name and address, and to shut him up no matter what it takes.

Tracy tells Finn she couldn’t help but overhear his conversation with Hayden. She asks who the person was who was hurt by Hayden’s father.

Hayden tells Curtis that Tracy wanted to see her to fire her in person, and then one of the doctors jumped her about her father. Curtis says she could leave town, but he’d miss her. She says hasn’t he heard she’s a con woman with a heart of stone? He says he knows her better than that. She says every time she turns around something worse happens. He says that’s the good news; it can’t get any worse since she’s hit rock bottom.

Curtis goes to get drinks and two FBI guys approach the table and say Hayden has to come with them.

Sam is concerned Franco will push Jason until he reacts. Jason says she should be more worried about him doing something dangerous. Someone is peeping through the window.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Carly he doesn’t want her anywhere near the situation, Tracy is released from the hospital, and Franco comes home to Nina.

Little Women: LA — The Reunion, Part One

Kevin Frazier is hosting. Was Vivica A. Fox busy? Or did she get some real work?

First, the flash backs. Weddings, tea throwing, whining, social media, more whining.

Kevin asks what it’s like to relive the moments. How does he think? It brings up all the past crap again. He asks about Briana’s wedding and if she’s glad Christy came without being invited. She says it was bittersweet. They’re both going through a lot, but communication is open.

Moving on to the babies. Kevin thinks they should have a mid-wife on set with all the pregnancies. (BTW, all of the ladies look fabulous. They’ve really come into their own styles.) Elena is miffed that she can’t wear heels, but says it’s all worth it. Briana says she’s feeling big and a lot is going on in her personal life. Kevin says Matt left two children in Seattle and wonders if Briana’s concerned he’ll leave her, but she says it’s more likely she’ll leave him. Terra is now pregnant with baby number two. Christy says she’s happy for Terra and Terra says she’s just as fake as always. Terra says even being pregnant, she’s thinner than Christy on her best day. Whoa.

Kevin asks Christy if she has adoption news and she starts crying. I assume the news isn’t good. Poor Todd gets brought into the fray. We flash back to all the Christy and Todd baby stuff and Christy harping on him to lose weight. Todd says that they’re baby got scooped out from under them by another family.

Kevin asks Terra for her input, but she says it’s none of her business, especially since they’ve affected her home life, which is none of their business. Kevin asks Todd about the weight issue and if gastric bypass is still on the table. He says he’s lost 30 pounds on his own, so the jury is still out. Exit Todd. That was fast.

On to the “challenges” of friendship, and a few volatile scenes between Terra and Tonya. Kevin asks Tonya if she was surprised at all the screaming and yelling on Terra’s part. Tonya says she dropped the ball as far as Penny’s surgery went, but she did call and text.

Commercial break with important information. Little Women: NYC is back on Wednesday, May 4.

Elena says Terra sometimes thinks she’s a super woman who can do everything. She says sometimes Terra says she doesn’t want help when she really does. Terra gets emotional and expects everyone to be a mind reader. Kevin asks if things are good or still strained between the three of them and Terra says a bunch of stuff that doesn’t really answer that question.

Kevin says one relationship that’s been consistently cold, but has started thawing, is Jasmine and Elena. We flash back to Elena being pretty stubborn about Jasmine’s inclusion into the group. Kevin asks Jasmine if she thinks jealousy was involved and she says only on Elena’s part. Elena balks at that and Kevin asks how it’s going now. They both say things are cool. I have to add that Jasmine’s magenta hair extensions or highlights look fantastic.

Kevin asks Briana if she has any friends left in the group and we flash back to all that mess, ending with the Matt sexting business. Briana says she and Terra will never be best friends, but things are copacetic now. Terra asks if she can understand how they felt shafted by Christy, who told them she wasn’t supportive of the marriage, but told Briana a different story.

Kevin asks why the ladies decided to confront Briana about the sexting. Jasmine is pretty pissed because she’d been supportive of Matt and then he proved to be a jerk. They’re all annoyed about Matt acting like a sex-crazed idiot when Briana is pregnant and Tonya says clearly he doesn’t love Briana. I’m with Jasmine on this, since I was also supportive of Matt throughout the season and he turned out to be such a huge disappointment.

Tonya says they saw the evidence from day one, but Briana refused to listen. Kevin asks Briana if Matt can do no wrong in her eyes. Briana says he’s been gone from the house for a week now and Terra says he’s just visiting his kids. Kevin asks for clarification and Briana says they’re on a break. No one is really letting her talk though. Kevin says hold on, she’s in a tough position. He doesn’t condone the behavior, but says Briana is pregnant, so cut her some slack. He asks if she still loves Matt and she says she has to figure it out. Elena says there’s a lot on Briana’s shoulders and the world isn’t black and white. She says that some people can forgive more than others and this is something Briana has to figure out for herself. Kevin says it’s a hard decision, what Matt’s done is very wrong, but not everything is cut and dried. He asks if she ever regrets getting pregnant, but Briana says she can’t say that.

Enter Matt. Better hide all throwable objects. And the chairs. Jasmine refuses to sit near him and moves to the other side. She asks him if he even knows how much pain he’s causing Briana and on top of it, he made her look like an idiot for defending him. She asks him why, and he says there’s no excuse, so he’s not even going to try. He says he’s sorry and he knows that seems meaningless coming from him, but it’s the best he can say. We flash back to all the awful Matt moments this season. And also the wedding.

Kevin asks Matt why. Matt starts to talk about his past and the women start laughing and putting in their two cents. Matt says he’s desperate for attention, especially sexual, and he’s trying to figure things out. Kevin asks how many women he’s been involved with and he says he’s not sure and barely remembers most of the conversations with them. Tonya talks about him not having a job and idle hands being the devil’s workshop.

Christy says she’s an addict and it’s something you have to work on daily. Tonya says he’ll always disrespect Briana and he doesn’t love her. Kevin asks why Matt stayed with Briana and got her pregnant when he was involved with these other women? Kevin takes Matt to task and tells him he should give everyone answers, since he had no problem giving out d*ck pics. Now, I’m not defending Matt in any way, but it would be nice if they’d let him answer. He’s barely been able to get a word in with the ladies barraging him.

Kevin says this should be the happiest time in Briana’s life and she has to deal with some hard stuff. Matt says he was sexually abused as a child. He says he never told anyone, so he can’t blame his family for not helping him. He says he goes for immediate gratification. Terra says he’s just trying to validate his actions. Tonya says she was molested and she didn’t react like that because there couldn’t possibly be a different reaction than hers. Kevin asks what Elena thinks. She says Matt needs to grow up and stop his behavior if he’s serious about Briana.

Kevin asks if Briana thinks Matt has stopped his behavior, but no one let’s her talk. She says she’s not sure because he’s said it was over before. His past aggressiveness is brought up. Kevin reads a tabloid article about Matt’s domestic violence and asks if the statement is true. Matt says no. Kevin says some of the ladies asked to be separated from him and he says he’s never touched a woman. He brings up Terra throwing the glass. Touche.

Everyone starts talking at once. There is some animosity between Terra and Christy. Kevin asks if when Matt heard his own texts, if he was embarrassed. Briana says she told him to leave for a week and he did. Haven’t we been here before? Along with the word “break?” Kevin says they’re going to read some of the texts when they come back from break. During the break, Briana and Matt say they’re not staying. Kevin says he can understand Briana not wanting to be there, but Matt should take his medicine.

This reunion is tough to watch because no one has any control and you can’t hear what anyone is saying.

Next week, The Reunion, part two — Briana is hurt, the men join the group, and the ice tea incident is discussed.

Terra’s Little Family

Tonya discourages Terra from having another baby. Elena agrees. Terra tells them both to shut up because she’s pregnant. She leaves the table.

Terra tells us she was late, but it wasn’t unusual. Then she took two pregnancy tests and it was confirmed.

Tonya feels awful about what she said. Terra comes back all sniffly. She says she didn’t want to say anything because she hasn’t told Joe yet. She says she’s crying because this is the second time she told friends before Joe. She says she’s scared because she knows it’s a lot to take on, but in her heart, she knows she can do it. She really is happy though. Tonya and Elena say they’re there for her.

It’s time for Terra to tell Joe she’s pregnant. She says it took a lot of convincing to just get him to try again, so she isn’t sure how he’s going to take the news of it happening so fast. She has a “Big Sis” onsie for Penny and that’s how she’s going to make the announcement.

Joe is having coffee and Terra brings Penny in. She says she has something she needs to tell him. Then she asks if he made his doctor’s appointment yet. He’s like, huh? She says she put Penny in a special outfit. She turns Penny around and says she’s pregnant.

Joe starts laughing and says it wasn’t supposed to happen yet. He says he couldn’t be happier and he loves her. Terra says how could he not want another one of these, showing him Penny. She is very adorable. Joe says she’s not even a year old and she’s a big sis. Joe figures it must have happened on the camping trip and hopes they don’t have a wookiee.

Terra tells him that she told Elena and Tonya. She tears up, but Joe doesn’t think it’s a big deal. He says all he cares about it them and the baby being healthy. She says she knows he still has to deal with his health issues and encourages him to make an appointment for his shot. She wants him to get in shape with her and he says round is a shape. Ha-ha!

Terra wants to do a family photo shoot before she gets huge. She’s gotten matching onsie pajamas for them to wear. Joe isn’t thrilled and says he’ll look like a big, fuzzy tomato. He says he booked his cortisone shot. Terra is happy about that and he asks if that will give him a reprieve from the onsie idea, but that’s a no.

Joe and Terra go to Joe’s consultation. Joe is scared to death of needles, but he’s in so much pain, he has to lean on something when he stands. The doctor says it’s a safe procedure, but there are risks, and it doesn’t help everybody. He says it’s the size of an acupuncture needle, which surprises me.

It’s picture time! Joe says the onsie theme is weird and embarrassing and he can’t believe Terra is making him do it. She says it will be cute. We all agree one size does not fit all and Terra adjusts Joe’s outfit. They do look cute, but this seems like a picture you’d use for a Christmas card.

Joe says he doesn’t remember what it’s like for his back not to hurt and is hoping that the shot works for him. He wants to be able to interact with Penny and the new baby without pain. Terra tells him regardless, he’s a great father.

Terra goes with Joe to get his shot. He’s pretty nervous and remembers the surgeries he had when he was a kid. They have a problem with the IV and have to do it again. Ugh. I know how stressful that is, since it’s happened to me. They give Joe oxygen to help him relax. He thinks he’s going to pass out. He’s petrified of needles, but wants to be the best he can be for his family.

Joe tells the doctor he felt something and asks if it’s normal. The doctor thinks it’s okay. Everything seems to go well and Joe is in recovery. Terra tells him she’s proud of him. Joe says he’ll drive, but Terra is like, no.

A few days later, there’s no change, but the doctor says to give it some time. I hope it works for him. I feel invested in this. Joe and Terra go to the pre-natal appointment. Because Terra has irregular periods, the doctor thought it would take a while, so he’s surprised too. The doctor determines that she’s five weeks and five days. They do a sonogram. The doctor says at this point, all they’ll see is a gestational sack. Yep, there it is. The doctor says he doesn’t see the heartbeat yet and has them make another appointment. Terra asks if it’s possible there’s nothing there and the doctor says there’s always that possibility, but they have to wait and see.

Terra is worried about a miscarriage, and meets with Tonya for lunch since she doesn’t want to burden Joe. She tells Tonya what happened with the sonogram. She says it would be devastating if it was a false alarm. Tonya tells her not to cry and gives her a hug. She says everything will be okay and tells Terra to focus on Penny. They’re about to get the MRI results which will determine if Penny needs a shunt.

Terra thinks the decompression surgery really helped and hopes this is the last doctor visit they have for a while. Dr. Danielpour specializes in little people neurosurgery. They look at the results and it looks good. The doctor does point out the damage to the spinal cord which might never go away. Penny’s head size is checked. The doctor says they’re not out of the woods yet in terms of whether or not she needs a shunt. He says you don’t want to do it if you don’t have to, and they should know by the time she’s a year old.

Terra is kind of bummed, but Joe says that there was no diagnosis yet. She says she thought they were free and clear, and he says they’re not, but they can handle it.

It’s time for the next ultrasound. Terra is afraid if they lose the baby, Joe will change his mind about having a second one.

It’s there! Along with the heartbeat. Penny is a big sister. Happiness abounds!

The doctor asks if there’s been spotting and Terra says no. He says they don’t need to make restrictions then. Joe says they needed the good news. Terra says having Penny changed their lives, and Joe says they weren’t prepared for the half of it. Penny is developing at her own pace. Although the physical development is a beat behind, she’s on target mentally. They don’t know whether the baby will be a little person or average sized yet.

They say they still have a long way to go, but they’ll get through it together.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Duly noted that in her tagline, Ramona says that like wine, she gets better with time, not age.

Bethenny is loving the Hamptons. I would too if I had this house. She’s having an anything goes, no airs party.

John and Dorinda are staying at Jules’s place. Dorinda says John is going to be a gentleman and apologize. John acts clueless, but we see a conversation where Dorinda tells him what an a-hole he was. She coaches him on what to say. Jules tells him not to add fuel to the fire. Dorinda asks if they have to review everything again. Jules says deep down John is a teddy bear, but that’s not what I’d call him.

Carole arrives at Bethenny’s with her dog. A playmate for Cookie! This time it’s a real barbecue, not a Kyle Richards barbecue. Bethenny tells Carole about what happened with John at the bra after party. She says she needs to back off because Dorinda and John obviously have something odd going on. She’s surprised he’s coming to the party. Bethenny warns Carole that the Countess will be there. Carole says her plan is to keep a friendly distance.

Ramona is next with some guy whose name I missed, but I don’t think he’s a date. It’s autumn and just gorgeous outside. A crowd gathers quickly. Okay, Ramona’s guest is talking about smokey eyes. He’s definitely not a date.

Carole tells her Jules is having a brunch, but Ramona will be busy recovering from her date. Here come Dorinda, John, Jules and Michael. John wants to just hang out by the cocktail bar, but Dorinda says that’s not happening. Jules says she would never want to be in John’s position.

John flounders, standing by himself. Bethenny points everyone toward the food. Dorinda says Bethenny is ignoring John and prompts him to talk to her. He claims to not be nervous and he probably isn’t because he’s too stupid to be. Bethenny thinks neither one of them probably remembers the incident. She thinks she should have been honest and told Dorinda not to bring him.

John wanders around with a drink in his hand like an alcoholic dinosaur. He finally parks himself near Dorinda who is sitting with Ramona and Jules.

The Countess arrives. Carole says she always seems to make an entrance. The Countess immediately picks up a hula hoop and fails at it miserably. Dorinda introduces her to Jules and Michael. Bethenny tells Carole the Countess is clearly uncomfortable. Since she can’t find a place to sit, the Countess sits with Dorinda and company.

Carole says she feels badly for John. Bethenny says it’s time to hit the bar. She has a whole separate bar on her property and it’s the coolest thing. She talks about John lurking in the shadows. She talks to the Countess, asking if she’s uncomforable with Carole. The Countess says she thinks Carole is the one who’s uncomfortable. Bethenny says the Countess doesn’t get it and doesn’t remember anything past five minutes ago. Bethenny says she has her own bs and feels like she’s hiding at her own party. The Countess asks why she just didn’t un-invite John and Bethenny says something about Dorinda being fragile.

Ramona jets, saying the party is weird. Bethenny tries to get the Countess to talk to Carole and she says she needs a drink.

Finally it happens. John asks for Bethenny’s attention. He sits next to her, and she and Carole leave to get a drink. Bethenny says don’t follow the tiger in the cage. Dorinda is a little annoyed, saying at least be nice to guests you invited.

The Countess tells Carole that she can’t avoid her forever, but Carole says yes she can. Bethenny comes back out with s’mores stuff. Carole says that John is like a little boy, pulling the ponytail of a girl he likes. Everyone has s’mores. The Countess tells Carole they need to talk at some point, but she’s glad to see her since she hasn’t in so long. Carole says of course not. The last time they talked, they ended up screaming at each other.

The Countess wants to go aside, but Carole says say whatever right here. The Countess says they’ve both said hurtful things, but Carole says no, the Countess said hurtful things. She says the Countess said a lot of crazy stuff on social media, like that Carole broke up her niece and Adam. She was even talking about Carole’s writing. The Countess, who can’t come up with one thing Carole has said about her, says they can agree to not be friends, but be nice to each other when they see each other. In her interview, Carole points out there was no apology. The Countess tells Bethenny that Carole didn’t give her a chance to apologize. Jules says the brunch is going to be a sh*tshow because she didn’t realize the Countess and Carole didn’t get along.

John corners Bethenny in the bar. She tells him to step outside if he wants to talk. Bethenny says she doesn’t know what he remembers and he just thinks he was rude. She says she doesn’t care about his personality, but he came in thinking he had a smoking gun and said some uneducated things. He says she does that too, but he’s not going into it because it’s her birthday party. What it really is, is like the Countess, he can’t come up with any actual examples. He says Bethenny said things to upset Dorinda, but doesn’t know exactly what Bethenny said. He says she called him an opportunist and that’s what Bethenny is. She says yes, but not on the backs of other people. He says he apologizes for going out of bounds for someone he loved. Bethenny says he doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for and the details are at the bottom of a tequila bottle somewhere.

Jules thinks Bethenny is selfish because she’s not ignoring John’s alcoholic idiocy. Dorinda is embarrassed by the whole thing and the Countess follows her outside. Dorinda says she’s trying to establish a relationship with Bethenny and keep her relationship with John going. Bethenny says she’ll have to put aside being repulsed by John because she really does like Dorinda and it’s not cool for party guests to be crying.

The Countess and Dorinda are leaving. Bethenny tells Dorinda that she and John can be cordial for her sake. She finds John and tells him that Dorinda is the most upset of the three of them, like a kid in a divorce, and that everything is fine between them. They leave happy. Bethenny says this is the best birthday she’s ever had since she’s not crying in a bathroom or divorced, and she hasn’t verbally assaulted anyone.

It’s time for brunch at Jules’s house. John brings out one of the biggest bottles of wine I’ve ever seen. He gets nosy about the Countess and Carole. Bethenny thought there was going to be a crowd, but Carole tells her there’s only going to be seven of them. Bethenny has brought cinnamon babka. I just had my first babka — a chocolate one — and it was amazing.

John answers the door, not exactly putting Bethenny at ease. Construction is going on and Jules tells them it’s a seven year project. We flash back to Alex and Simon’s three year project a million years ago. They start to eat and Bethenny talks construction with Michael. No surprise, Bethenny has a lot of unwelcome opinions.

Michael asks how Bethenny enjoyed her birthday. A bee comes in the house and John says he’s allergic. In her interview, Bethenny wonders if it’s bad to want to cover him in honey. Bethenny points out to Carole that Jules isn’t eating. She says it’s textbook to have a lot of food out and push it on other people.

The Countess makes her entrance, toting a guy named Paul. Jules is going to have a tour of the house and Carole wants to leave. Michael ropes Bethenny and Michael into a mini tour. They come across the great leveler — dog poop. No matter how rich you are, your dog will still poop on the floor. Bethenny and Carole slip out.

Jules gripes to Dorinda about Bethenny. Dorinda feels badly because Bethenny burst Jules’s bubble with her negativity.

Next week, Jules is having a hard time with Bethenny’s opinions, Ramona visits her daughter, Jules talks about eating disorders, and the Countess and Bethenny get into it.

April 26, 2016 — GH, Temptation Tuesday & BH Deuxième Reunion

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ric calls Sonny from the police station and says there’s been a development in the Carrrlos case.

Alexis says she shouldn’t have touched the dagger. She tells Julian they’re going to lose everything.

A guy named Hale talks to Jordan. She asks him what information he has about Duke’s murder.

Carly comes into Sonny’s office and asks if he’s almost done with work because it’s time for his birthday dinner. He says he’s waiting for a call from Ric.

Hale jumps up and wants to leave. Jordan says hold on a minute. She asks if he wants her to call a friend for support. Hale says he doesn’t want to involve anyone else and that he saw Duke get shot.

Alexis hands Julian the dagger, telling him to get rid of it, but then she takes it back, saying she’s not ready. She tells him that she and Molly got into a fight about her defending Carrrlos. She says Molly told her she’s compromising her ethics, and Julian asks what she thinks. She waffles.

Ava brings takeout to Franco’s place for her and Kiki. She says circumstances have changed and she’d like Kiki to come home now. Kiki says she doesn’t want to.

Nina literally runs into Dillon and her packages go flying everywhere. Dillon asks her to join him for a drink, but she says she remembers what happened last time and she wants to keep it professional.

At the hospital, Jason starts to choke Franco. Obrecht comes by and says she’ll call security. Franco threatens to tell Jason’s son the truth and Jason starts to choke him again. Sam runs in and says Franco is playing Jason and wants him to react like that. Jason lets Franco go and leaves with Sam. Obrecht asks if what Sam said was true.

Nina asks how much Dillon wants to keep her lapse in judgment from Julian. He says nothing and she thinks he’s going to sue her. He says he’s done way worse and would never hold it against her or judge her and just wants them to be cool. He asks if Franco got angry that they kissed. Nina says she hasn’t told him and he wouldn’t care anyway.

Obrecht says if Jason doesn’t want Franco’s services anymore, that’s the way it goes. Franco says Jake needs him and she says he should have thought about that before goading his father. Franco asks if he’s supposed to just bite the bullet and Obrecht says she does that every day. He says it’s time for him to be the Franco he was born to be. Whatever that means.

Ava asks Kiki if she doesn’t want to come home and Kiki says she is home. Ava says Avery will be home soon, she just has some details to iron out. Kiki says she thinks she needs to stay where she is for multiple reasons. Ava says she has to go and tells Kiki she loves her.

Carly wonders where Jocelyn’s kidney came from if it didn’t come from Jake. Ric interrupts the conversation between her and Sonny.

Alexis gets a call that her motion to dismiss is being ruled on.

Jordan asks Hale to tell her in his own words what he saw and asks why it took him so long to come forward. He says he was using and living on the streets, doing anything to get his next fix. He was breaking into cars at the MetroCourt and heard angry voices, and Julian’s name was mentioned. He says one guy was in a tux and the other guy in street clothes. They struggled over the gun and when it went off, the tuxedo guy had been shot. Jordan shows him Duke’s picture and he says that’s the guy who was shot. She shows him a sheet of pictures and asks if the guy in street clothes is there. He points to Carrrlos.

Sonny asks if he can talk to Ric tomorrow, but Carly says do it now and he has five minutes. Ric tells Sonny about the eyewitness coming forward, adding “happy birthday.”

Jordan calls the judge. Hale asks if she doesn’t believe him and she says she’s just going to verify his story. He says part of his program is making amends and he’s trying to do the right thing. She says she’s just doing her job and goes out into the office. Alexis comes in and Jordan says any charges against Carrrlos aren’t going away because they have an eyewitness. She says Carrrlos is going down and probably Julian with him.

Ava tells Julian what Kiki told her and says she wants to bring Avery home. Julian says the organization understands there’s no benefit in coming after her. She asks why they’d listen to him and he says because he’s in charge now.

Jason and Sam go for a drink. Jason says Franco is manipulating Jake. Sam suggests he talk to Elizabeth, but Jason says Franco nearly caused him to commit murder. He tells Sam about the flash of memory.

Nina tells Dillon that Kiki never leaves the apartment. He thinks she should talk to Franco.

Obrecht tells Franco not to let Jason destroy everything he has. She says he’s done well with his patients and he says not so well with Nina. Obrecht says to keep trying because it’s clear they were meant to be together. He says she’s sweet, but misguided. He gets a text from Nina saying she wants to talk and he projects, saying that means it’s over. Obrecht says if he wants to talk, she’ll be at The Floating Rib.

Ava says what about Julian’s promises to Alexis and his daughters? Julian says his sister was in trouble and he realized the importance of family, so he took the reigns. She asks what Alexis thinks. Julian says she doesn’t know and he’s not telling her.

Alexis says it’s a little odd that a stranger who claims to have seen Duke’s murder should suddenly show up on the day she’s getting the charges dropped.

Ric says they’re a long way from a trial and a guilty verdict isn’t assured. Sonny says an eyewitness is just what they needed, and Ric says hmm…what a coincidence.

Sam says she wants to move forward and hopes Jason can do the same. He asks what Franco had against them and Sam says he was obsessed with Jason.

At the bar, Obrecht tells Nina to make up with Franco. Nina asks if Franco talked to her, but she says it’s obvious they’re not communicating. She tells Nina to put on her big girl pants and make it work. Nina says he’s not answering her texts and Obrecht says leave that to her.

Franco tells Kiki he’s on his way home and he doesn’t want to talk to Nina. There’s a knock at the door. Franco gets a text from Obrecht to meet her and tells Kiki he’s not coming home after all. Kiki answers the door and it’s Dillon. He asks Kiki if she knows how to change a flat tire.

Dillon says it was a long day at work, all he wanted to do is get home and boom! flat tire. Kiki asks what he’s doing on that side of town and he says to get cheap gas. Kiki mentions Maxie’s engagement party and Dillon says it was great. In getting him to say he was there, Kiki knows he wasn’t at work and Dillon admits he came to check on her.

Sam says Franco was jealous of Jason. Jason says he saw the old Franco at the hospital and doesn’t want him near Jake. Franco walks in and then walks back out. Nina sees him and asks Obrecht what’s up with that?

Carly tells Sonny to watch what he delegates to Ric, who’s a snake in the grass. Sonny says with Ric’s help, he’s going to find out where Jocelyn’s kidney came from.

Ava is concerned that Sonny will find out. Julian says he won’t and she’s not to tell anyone. Alexis comes in and Julian says she’s back pretty quick. She says a witness showed up and ID’d Carrrlos. She says it’s not over though, since the whole thing is suspect. Julian tells her Leo is upstairs and Alexis goes to check on him. Ava tells Julian to use the organization’s resources to get rid of Carrrlos.

Kiki asks Dillon who sent him and he says no one. He says he was concerned about her and just stopped by to visit. Kiki says she’s fine. He says since she’s okay, can she help him with his car? He let air out of one of the tires so his story would seem plausible. Enter Nina. Kiki says they’re going out for a while and don’t wait up. Nina asks where Franco is and Kiki says he never came home.

Jason asks Sam if she wants to go on an adventure with his bike on the open road. She says sure, and they leave. Someone is watching.

Jordan gives Hale her card. She says they’ll schedule a formal deposition with the DA. She tells him they’ll make it quick and painless, but it’s good practice if they go to trial. Hale is nervous about that, but she says the odds of it gong to trial are slim and Alexis will probably convince Carrrlos to take the deal.

Julian balks at killing an associate to save himself and Ava says it’s a cruel world. Julian says he’ll figure out another way.

Sonny says he wants to find out the truth for Carly. She thanks him.

Julian makes a phone call telling someone to take care of “it”

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Hayden to take the money and run, someone is stalking Sam and Jason, and Finn isn’t done yet at the hospital.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Joey hears a key in the lock and takes off for the back door with Faun. The door is locked, so she hides in his bedroom. Lushion is at the door and Joey pretends it’s just stuck. Lushion heads for the breadbox, but it’s empty. He tells Joey he’s looking for a brown paper bag with a disk in it.

Lushion calls Natalie, but gets voicemail. He tells Joey he needs help to find it and Joey wonders what a disk looks like. Natalie calls back and tells him to look in the breadbox, but he tells her it’s not there. She says she’ll be right home.

Lushion rifles through the freezer. Natalie comes in and says it was in the breadbox, but maybe one of the kids moved it. She starts opening cupboards and drawers. She asks what’s on the disk and he says don’t worry about it. Natalie asks Joey to help look. She wants to look in his bedroom and he says he already looked. She says it was probably a half-assed look and tells him to go help Lushion while she double checks.

Natalie sees Faun’s shoe sticking out from under the bed and calls Lushion, who draws his gun. Faun pops out and apologizes. Natalie starts to say something to Joey, but Lushion says they really have to find the disk. She tells Faun to get out. Lushion asks Natalie if Pete told her what was on the disk, but she says no. He asks how she could forget about telling him and she says a lot has been going on and gives him a laundry list. He says he has to go back to the station and she says she’ll keep looking. He tells her it’s of the utmost importance. Natalie says she’ll go back to Alex’s and wake the kids and ask them if they know where it is.

Julius goes to Randal’s house. Randal asks how Julius’s dad is. Julius says he’s hanging in there. He asks Randal about Tilda. Julius says she told him he has a sister and asks if that’s true. Randal says he should talk to his father. Julius just wants to know if it’s the truth and Randal says yes, but he never met her. Julius asks who knows her and Randal says her mother.

Outside, Faun tells Joey she told him so. She says she has to go and Joey asks to come along because his mother is going to kill him. She says no. She asks about their relationship, but Joey is evasive. She says she thought they were dating exclusively. He hems and haws and she says she has to go.

Quan approaches Joey who tells him to get lost. Quan says he’s dead and Joey tells him to bring it and whatever. Quan says when Joey is dead, he’s going to “hit that,” meaning Faun. I can’t stand that phrase, but I’m supposed to hate Quan, so it’s working.

Natalie is still shaking everything down, looking for the disk. She asks Joey if he’s trying to get her fired again. He says he and Faun were just watching a movie. Natalie tells him not to bring Faun there again. She asks what it’s going to take for him to listen and says he has one more chance.

Julius visits his father in the hospital. Lawyer Sonny says they just gave him something to sleep and he’s out of it. Julius asks what the doctor said and Sonny says it’s probably a matter of weeks. Julius asks why he’s there and Sonny says the will. Julius wants to find out what’s in it, but that’s a no.

They talk in the hall and Sonny says Julius’s father wanted to change the will. Julius says he already knows about Tilda and asks what about him? Sonny says everything was left to them and nothing to him. Julius gets pretty mad and Sonny says he’s sorry. Julius asks if the papers are signed and Sonny tells him tomorrow. The elevator opens and Tilda pops out.

Julius tells her to leave. She tells him to move or she’ll move him. She says all Julius is doing is making his father sicker. She asks if he’s trying to kill his father and he leaves. Tilda tells Sonny they should get security and he’d better keep an eye on Julius.

Kelly and Esperanza check on Alex and the nameless baby. Alex says she can see his personality already. Kelly and Esperanza talk about how their kids are growing up too fast. Alex is worried that her son will start asking questions before she’s ready to answer them. Esperanza teases Kelly about Ramses. Kelly isn’t sure if he likes her like that, but Alex says she thinks he does. Kelly says she would be grateful for a good man in her life and it’s hard raising a boy as a single mom. Alex says she guesses she’ll find out. Kelly says she’s sorry, but Alex says don’t say that; she did this and she’ll work it out. Kelly says she’s proud of Alex, especially how she handled Randal and Brad. Kelly says they come around when they see you’ve stepped into your strength. Alex says she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her baby.

Esperanza asks what she’s going to do about Randal. Alex says he’s not going to take her child away from her and there’s no way she’ll let that happen. She says she has one option that she’d never consider unless he doesn’t stop. Kelly asks what, but she says she doesn’t want to think about it. Esperanza says it sounds like she’s thinking of something crazy. Alex says she’ll protect her child from anyone and she won’t let Randal take him away. She says the baby is her responsibility.

Kelly suggests she let Randal see the baby, but Alex says no way. Kelly thinks it might get Randal to drop the custody thing. Alex says Brad is the baby’s father, but Kelly says he has to want to be. Alex says she’s tired of being sorry and if these grown men can’t get past this and get in line, she’s going to have to show them what she’s made of. Kelly asks her to reconsider. She says she can’t stand Justice’s father, but she lets him see Justice because he’s his son. She tells her to just think about it, but Alex is firm in her no.

Brad has fallen asleep while he and Marcie were watching TV. He wakes up, wanting to cuddle and she says they shouldn’t, but they spoon. She says it feels good and he agrees. She asks him to let her go and he tells her to let herself be held. She says she’s not Alex and she knows he wishes it was Alex that he was holding. She suggests he go to her, but he says he can’t. She tells him it’s his ego. She says she’s telling him things he can’t tell himself, and they still have a chance once he gets past his anger. She says something happened before he came there and he seems different. Brad says Rusty did even worse things to Alex than he knew. He molested both of his daughters. He says it doesn’t excuse Alex, but it casts a new light on everything. He remembers her shutting down when he would touch her and how she cried the first time they made love.

He says sex became boring and short. Marcie says that explains a lot. He says sex with Marcie made him feel alive, and that he became angry about all he’d lost. Marcie says they can’t do that again and she regrets it. She tells him to go home to Alex and tell her what he just told Marcie. She tells him she’s going to bed and Brad says she’d better lock the door.

At the hospital, Tina tends to Pete. Eddie calls Ben who is sitting outside Pete’s room. Ben says Tina is still there and so is the camera. Eddie says he has it, because apparently he has nothing better to do than hang out at the hospital.

Eddie sees Andrew, who says he works there at night for extra money. Eddie says that’s not how to make extra money. Andrew says he wants in. Eddie says to come see him, but Andrew says he’s there now. Eddie says he doesn’t trust Andrew and that he’s not ready for Team Eddie. Bleh. Eddie leaves.

Julius gets in the elevator with Eddie and calls him “copper.” Really? In 2016? Julius tells him he heard he got shot and he needs to lay off the cocaine since he thinks he can take on the world. Eddie says Julius is just a punk ass wannabe when his father has all the reach. Eddie makes a yo momma comment. Again, in 2016? Julius says when his father is gone, he’s going to be the man, and when he comes for Eddie, it’s not going to be a drive-by. Julius tells him to look out for Quan.

Eddie asks who Quan is and Julius says Eddie took his money, really Eddie’s money. Julius says he’ll see him soon and gets off the elevator. Eddie ponders whatever is in his pea brain.

Julius goes to his father’s room. The guard says he’s resting and Julius says he brought his favorite candle. He asks if Tilda was there and asks what the guard knows about her. The guard blows him off. Julius says he’s next after his father dies and goes into the room

Julius picks up a pillow to smother his father. He puts the pillow over the old man’s face and the alarms go off.

Next time, Marcie asks Brad if he’s turned on, Kelly calls out Randal to his mother, Eddie smacks Ben and Randal’s mother talks to Alex.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Two

OMG — I don’t know if I can hear Munchhausen again without screaming and never stopping.

We backtrack a little, with LisaR accusing LVP of manipulating the Munchhausen situation. (Can you hear me, wracked with sobs?) Yolanda leaves. LisaR wants LVP to own it. Another phrase I’m growing weary of.

Erika goes into the dressing room with Yolanda, while LisaR keeps saying she did it, meaning she began the whole Munchhausen debacle. Erika comes back and says it was just a mild meltdown and Yolanda will BRB. LisaR says she woudn’t have brought up the word without LVP encouraging her to say it. She keeps saying LVP needs to own that phone call.

Yolanda returns. Andy asks who Yolanda believes. She says she wants to believe LVP, but she lost her compass. LVP says she was wrong to doubt Yolanda. Yolanda says LVP is very powerful and amazing, but she manipulates things sometimes to make a great show, and compassion for other people should come first. Andy stirs it by asking who she believes again.

LisaR says LVP talks around and around and it’s making her crazy. She gets up and leaves, but never stops talking and then walks back. Eileen chimes in with something about being true to yourself. Andy brings up LVP saying that Mohammad said nothing was wrong with the kids. Yolanda does say that Mohammad had told LVP the kids were fine, and says that LVP and Mohammad’s friendship was wrecked because of it. God help me. It’s not like she said she didn’t believe anything was wrong with the kids; she just repeated what Mohammad said.

Andy brings up Erika squealing to Yolanda. LisaR was somehow involved and Yolanda gives her a mini-lecture about people with Lyme disease. Yolanda starts to cry and the ladies rally around her. She says there was a lack of compassion, but if she only opened one heart, the sharing was worth it. During the break, LisaR tells Yolanda she hopes they can start over and she didn’t mean any harm. This girl has some kind of problem that I can’t exactly put my finger on. She doesn’t have a filter for sure, but she also seems to go whichever way the wind is blowing.

Kim Richards joins the group. Andy asks about Monte’s passing away. Kim says she lost the best friend she ever had. They go right into the estrangement with Kyle and we see flashbacks of the ladies talking about her throughout the season. Some of it is the unfiltered one’s opinion, which I’ve felt is over-the-top since she’s not related or even close friends with Kim.

Everyone gets all teary-eyed and Andy asks where Kim is in her recovery. Kim tells him it’s none of his business in a nice way and that it’s anonymous for a reason. Kim says she’s hard to love and Kyle says that’s not true, even when she didn’t like what Kim was doing, she loved her. Eileen wakes up and says she’s always wanted the best for Kim. Not to be left out, LisaR says her too.

Kim says her feelings were hurt and she felt like LisaR was attacking her. Andy stirs the pot some more by reminding LisaR of some of the things she said. LisaR says she was angry and she’s sorry about some of the words she used. Yolanda tells her she should be held accountable. LisaR says for what? She lost her sister to addiction and she understands it well. Yolanda asks why she wasn’t more sensitive then and LisaR says she’s just human.

Eileen brings up the party at her house a million years ago when Kim acted like a jerk. She says it’s not like they were looking for a problem. Kim says Eileen is always jumping in whenever there’s an issue with LisaR. Kim says this is reality, not a soap, and Eileen tells her not to be rude.

Andy says moving on, but stays on the topic, reminding Kyle of her being uncomfortable with what LisaR had to say about Kim. They talk about how Kathryn tried to defend Kim and shared her own tragedy. Kim thanks her and thanks Erika as well.

Andy brings up the shoplifting, but Kim says she can’t discuss a pending court case. He asks if that was her low point and she says when she took the first drink was her low point. The “enraged” word comes back to haunt LisaR, but she’s like, let’s move on. Andy tells her she’d said a lot of strong things throughout the season that she wants to sweep under the rug.

Andy asks if Kyle and Kim are still sweeping. Kyle says they’re starting fresh. LVP says sometimes it’s best not to rehash things. Yolanda says Kim does deserve to be loved and they all cheer her along on her journey. (Ugh! Another one of those buzzwords.) Applause from everyone. Exit Kim.

Andy asks if Kathryn ever gets mistaken for Aviva from the NYC Wives. None of us ever noticed it before, but she does look like Aviva. He asks how her hearing device is going and she’s thrilled with it.

I guess she’s not that exciting because Andy moves along to all the parties during the season. We flash back to all the fabulousness. Various details about the parties are discussed. Andy asks Kyle to define barbecue, which she says is basically having a dinner party outside. All of a sudden they’re discussing having a real barbecue. They talk about who looked most like a hooker at the Moulin Rouge party and Erika says she’s out since she looks like a hooker all the time. Ha-ha! I do like how self-depreciating she is.

Here we go. The time when LVP asked Eileen too many questions and didn’t know how to apologize. After seeing the flashbacks, Eileen says she feels vindicated. She says she tried to get resolution in a nice way and LVP was dismissive. She says LVP was condescending, she felt manipulated and doesn’t trust her. LVP doesn’t understand why Eileen didn’t bring it up at the time instead of waiting. Eileen says LVP wasn’t sincere in her apology. LVP says she honestly didn’t realize that Eileen was so hurt. Eileen says it’s like they’re on two different planets and she finds LVP manipulative.

Eileen had shared about being in an abusive relationship and she says she found LVP’s blog offensive, as LVP talked about having had an abusive boyfriend and seeing no purpose in reliving it. Andy asks LVP about the past relationship which happened pre-Ken when she was 19. Lisa tears up and says he hurt her once, but then doesn’t want to continue.

Next time, Kathryn and Erika call each other desperate, more name calling happens, apologies are made, and they use that word again.

April 25, 2016 — GH, a Flamingo Party & Dallas Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At the hospital, Monica catches Franco walking by with a box and asks him what’s in it. He suggests organs, explosives, or some other contraband.

Nina finds Julian “loitering” in her office.

Alexis tells Carrrlos the prosecution’s case is dubious, providing Sabrrrina doesn’t suddenly show up in Port Charles.

Michael asks Sabrrrina’s tia who the baby toy belongs to.

Nina tells Julian he can’t just barge into her office any time he wants. He says he wouldn’t if she kept him in the loop and wasn’t ignoring his emails, texts and calls. She tells him she’s not sacrificing what she wants for someone else’s self-centered needs. Julian is like, yeah, okay, I just wanted the financial reports. Nina tells him she’ll get them and starts to cry.

Franco says he doesn’t answer to Monica and she’s an unfeeling harpy. He goes on and on telling her to check with the real chief-of-staff who thinks he’s delightful. They trade insults about past mistakes. Franco tells her that her patients are probably glad they’re anesthetized because she has a lousy bedside manner. Monica has to take a call and Franco takes Daisy out of the box he’s carrying.

NuJake tells Jason he wants to do art with Franco. Jason steps away and Franco comes by with Daisy. Franco tells Jake that Daisy needs a home and he gives the dog to him. Jason is not thrilled.

Sabrrrina’s tia says she doesn’t know where Sabrrrina is. She says the toy belongs to a friend’s baby. Michael suggest she call her friend now.

Alexis asks if there’s any chance Sabrrrina will return to Port Charles. Carrrlos says no and Alexis asks if she’s dead. Carrrlos says of course not. Alexis says there’s a tape with Sabrrrina talking about Carrrlos killing Duke, but she can get it thrown out if there’s no chance of her coming back. Alexis says she cited a pre-trial motion to dismiss due to lack of evidence. Carrrlos says there’s still one major problem — Sonny.

Sonny asks Ric if Alexis’s motion will be granted. Ric says the chances are pretty good. He says if the case is dismissed without prejudice, if Sabrrrina eventually shows up, they can retry Carrrlos. Sonny says that Carrrlos is unlikely to sit around and wait for that, and Ric asks if Sonny is going to kill Carrrlos.

Julian gives Nina a hanky. She blows her nose and hands it back, but he says she can keep it. She tells him her tears have nothing to do with Crimson and she’ll get him the financials. He says just give them to him by the end of the day. He tells her it’s obvious that something is upsetting her and asks if she wants to talk. She says no, then changes her mind.

Jason asks what’s this and Jake says a puppy. Franco says he’s surprised Jason missed that with the wagging tail and floppy ears. Jake begs to keep Daisy, but Jason says Sam doesn’t have time to take care of her. Jake asks if Jason would help, but he says he can’t and they’ll talk about getting a dog when he’s older. Jake says but he wants this one. They have the same I-want-a-dog-and-I-promise-to-take-care-of-it conversation that a million parents have with their kids every day and Jake tells Jason he hates him.

Carrrlos says Sonny wants him dead. Alexis says that must be stressful. Carrrlos says he and Sabrrrina were living a peaceful life until Sonny and Anna came along. He’s concerned it will happen again unless he can disappear permanently. He wants a big payoff from Julian or he’ll take the deal from the DA. He says plus, if he turns in Julian, Sonny might back off. Alexis says the judge still has to rule and Carrrlos says to tell Julian to open up his checkbook.

Ric says that Sonny needs to think about using Ric’s skills as an ally. He’s annoyed that Sonny uses Diane a lot of the time. Sonny says there’s no question about Ric’s loyalty, but as far as Carrrlos is concerned, he’s considering his options.

Sabrrrina’s tia’s friend comes by and she returns the toy. Michael asks again if she’s sure she hasn’t heard from Sabrrrina, like she might not remember.

Ric says Sonny reasonably hoped that Carrrlos would flip on Julian, but it didn’t work out that way. He can’t believe Sonny is okay with that. Sonny repeats that he’s considering his options and can’t tell Ric about a plan he doesn’t have yet. He says he doesn’t like freezing Ric out, but he’s not making the same mistake he did with Anna and if he has to take action, he’ll do it on his own. Ric changes his mind and decides the less he knows, the better.

Molly asks Alexis why she’s defending Carrrlos. Alexis says shell be happy to have an adult conversation about it. Molly says Alexis has compromised her ethics, and Alexis tells her she deserves respect and her clients are her business. She says every defendant has the right to counsel, but Molly says she took the case on her own, it wasn’t like she was given the case by the court. She asks how Alexis lives with herself.

Monica comes by and Jake tells her about the puppy. Monica asks Franco in what universe it’s acceptable to give another man’s child a dog? She tells Jake that the groundskeeper is looking for a dog and Jake can come visit her when he wants. She tells Franco they’re not finished. Franco tells Jason he must be glad he doesn’t remember much about Monica.

Michael asks Sabrrrina’s tia to call if she hears from Sabrrrina. She says she and Sabrrrina are very close, and if she hasn’t contacted her yet, maybe she’s not in Puerto Rico.

Sonny is on the phone saying they need to act fast on a contract.

Alexis says things aren’t black and white, and the world doesn’t always work that way. Molly says there’s no grey area when it comes to Carrrlos and that he’s pure evil. Alexis says Molly is throwing that term around like she knows what she’s talking about. She brings out the dagger and tells her that what Helena did was pure evil. She says Carrrlos did a lot of bad things, but there’s no comparison. Molly says isn’t that all the more reason she shouldn’t be helping another murderer, and that what Helena is to her, Carrrlos might be to someone else. Molly says she knows it has something to do with Julian.

Julian says it could have been worse, Franco could have brought Nina a lizard or something else weird. He says he loves his kids, and knows how lucky he is to have them, and he’s sorry Nina isn’t going to get that chance. Nina says it’s hard on her, but Franco is just relieved. Julian says he doesn’t like Franco, but in being objective, Franco clearly cares about her. Nina says she knows that, but she’s not sure they know one another.

Jason says he’s going to find another therapist for Jake. He says Franco didn’t help by giving him a dog. Franco says Jason pays lip service to love and loyalty, but he’s all about Sam and doesn’t see that Jake is lonely.

Michael is discouraged. Felix says they came there because Carrrlos led them that way, but he’s a known liar. He says Sabrrrina could be a block away or a million miles away, there’s no way to be sure.

Franco tells Jason he doesn’t even know him. Jason says Franco is a stalker and kidnapper. Franco asks who Jason is to judge him and asks if because he got paid to kill people, that made it okay. He says all Jason has ever been is a killer and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Nina says maybe nobody knows the real anyone. Everyone has secrets and tells lies. Julian says he just remembered he has a meeting to prepare for and good luck. Nina asks if she hit a nerve. Julian says he has other things to deal with and Nina asks if it’s Carrrlos. He says their business concluded a long time ago. Nina says he’s just like her, he worked and changed, but people have long memories. Julian says everything that’s going on with Carrrlos, including Duke’s murder, has nothing to do with him. She wonders what’s wrong if that’s not it. Julian says he can handle his own problems and leaves.

Alexis tells Molly to leave Julian out of it. Molly says that’s impossible if she’s going to be honest. She says the only way Alexis would be defending Carrrlos is if Julian pressured her. Molly says Alexis will be the reason Carrrlos gets away with murder. Alexis asks if Molly hates her. Molly says she could never do that, but she has the feeling that right now, Alexis hates herself.

Michael says they’re going back to Port Charles. He needs to see Carrrlos. Meanwhile, Sabrrrina’s tia gets the toy back and puts it into a crib in another room. A crib containing the world’s quietest baby.

Alexis ponders the dagger along with what Molly said to her. Julian comes in.

A guy comes into the station and says he has new evidence in the Carrrlos case. Sonny tells Max good work as always.

Franco tells Jason he throws everyone away because he doesn’t care about love. He only cares about killing people and it’s the only thing that makes him feel alive. Jason says something about how he should have finished the job with Franco, and Franco says interesting how he remembers that.

Tomorrow, Nina literally runs into Dillon, Alexis tells Julian they’re going to lose everything, and Franco says it’s time to be the Franco he was meant to be.

Just a note: WTF the Jake recast? It’s not like they aged him and James Nigbor was a fine little actor. At first, I thought it was a Danny recast until he said something about doing art with Franco. My first impression: Old Jake stood out from the crowd; NuJake will just blend in.

Southern Charm

Or as I like to call it, a bunch of five-year-olds in grown up bodies.

So what good is Thomas anyway, if he can’t score you an invite to Patricia’s Flamingo Party?

Thomas drops by JD’s place. Thomas is stressing because Kathryn didn’t let him see Kensie. In retaliation, he decided not to co-sign her lease and now Kathryn is in the hospital. Nice going, T-Rav. It dawns on him that maybe he shouldn’t be upsetting her.

JD wonders if Thomas is being manipulated because all women are alike and his wife never got that upset when she was pregnant. Thomas puts all the blame on Jennifer because it couldn’t possibly be him. Thomas says Jennifer has been stirring the pot, sending all his social media stuff to Kathryn and causing her grief.

Shep calls Cameran who announces she has the runs. Thanks for sharing. Shep tells her that Craig is yet again going to apply to take the bar exam, but he’ll believe it when he sees it.

Shep visits Craig’s office. Craig is thinking of getting into the bourbon business since he’s had a lot of experience drinking it. Craig shows him the paperwork for the bar exam. He wonders if he should use Velcro to attach his picture. I stare blankly at the TV. Craig calls the post office “the mailing center” and Shep asks if he’s from Canada.

Cameran meets wannabe Danni and some other hanger on for lunch. They talk about biological clocks and Cameran says she tries every month — not to get pregnant. She says from the outside she seems equipped to handle a child, but she doesn’t feel ready. She’s thinking of going to therapy to make sure her decision to wait isn’t based on fear or anxiety. Let’s analyze everything to death since it couldn’t possibly be that she just doesn’t want kids.

It’s Flamingo Party time! I love pink flamingos! Patricia is writing a party book, so she’s having the event photographed. She says one of her signature things is a cocktail tower and explains that it’s all about the math. She says they’re going to have 144 baby flamingo floaties in the pool (see last week’s ordering mistake) and perhaps people will think Thomas was there. Not unless he’s doing it with flamingos now. He’s not, is he?

Landon and Craig are discussing their outfits for the party. Jennifer calls Craig while they’re in the car. She tells Craig about Kathryn’s trip to the hospital and says the baby might come early. Craig feels badly because Kathryn already has it hard enough. Landon thinks Kathryn just wants attention. Maybe so, but what Jennifer is describing is no joke. I’ve started to not like Landon this season. She seems like an easily distracted dim bulb who only cares about herself. Craig says Thomas should have gone to the hospital. Landon says he should have, but Kathryn treats everyone like sh*t unless she needs something, so she has no friends. She says she’s not going to be manipulated by a psychopath. Exaggerate much?

Kathryn is mighty pissed about Thomas backing out on signing the lease and is feeling defeated. She says all she and Kensie need is a stable place to live and a peaceful environment. Thomas calls while she’s in the car. He tells her he got the lease in place for her and asks if she’ll need help with the move. In her interview, she says she’s excited, but disturbed at what it took for Thomas to help out.

Flamingos for everyone! Everything that can be pink, is pink. Patricia feels you should always be as glamorous as possible. Cameran must think so too, since she’s going all out and is even sporting a flamingo hat.

Thomas introduces Landon to his friend, Josh. He thinks he’s making a love match, but I predict rejection from Landon. Josh has a peach-fuzz mustache and I’m guessing that will clinch the no.

The party is revving up with everything pinkly decorated, and everyone dressed in pink, having pink cocktails and pink food. Lisa Vanderpump would appreciate the pinkness. Whitney introduces a Miss USA to Thomas, who immediately puts his foot in his mouth by asking if that isn’t the contest where you don’t need any talent. Whitney says he’s like the horny drunk uncle who’s trying to impress someone and I’d say that’s an accurate description. He’s the relative you blow a kiss to from a distance.

Cameran arrives fashionably late. She says she doesn’t know how Patricia does it, and then corrects herself, saying that actually she does, because Patricia has other people do it. Shep decides to get in the pool and swim amongst the flamingos.

Craig asks Thomas about Kathryn’s health. He says she’s on bed-rest and that he went immediately to the hospital to see her. Craig says funny, since Jennifer said he never showed up there. Thomas says Jennifer is evil and tries to create problems with him and Kathryn. Craig says that Thomas thought Jennifer was going to be his girl on the side and it didn’t work out the way he’d planned.

Commercial break with important information. Below Deck: Mediterranean begins Tuesday, May 3.

Landon wonders if she and Shep could ever make a relationship work, but doesn’t think he’s at that place yet. Patricia has also hired a fortune teller. Shep, Landon, Craig and Cameran go to check it out. Patricia’s friend, Cooper,takes her aside and asks if he’s being given the cold shoulder because he’s friends with Kathryn. Patricia lies through her teeth, saying she just had guests who needed her attention. In his interview, Cooper says Kathryn reminds Patricia of herself when she was young and vivacious. Patricia says Cooper is the poor man’s Truman Capote and calls his friendship with Kathryn “low rent.”

Cameran falls over a hedge and loses her flamingo hat. Patricia finds this amusing. So do I.

Jennifer shows up. Thomas is annoyed since Kathryn was excluded from the party. Jennifer is wearing a headband with springy flamingos on it. Thomas wants to push her into the pool, but JD says that would be another assault charge. Another assault charge.

Jennifer talks to JD and his wife while Thomas looks on disapprovingly. They discuss the polo match. Jennifer asks what happened after they left and Elizabeth feels that it was a “scene.” Thomas gripes to Landon about Jennifer interfering in his business. Landon thinks he should talk to her and he takes Jennifer aside.

Thomas tells her about how Craig told him she said he didn’t come to the hospital. He says he was there for two hours and Jennifer says a neighbor visits for that long. He says Kathryn seemed argumentative, and he didn’t want to stress her. He tells Jennifer that she’s causing some of Kathryn’s stress, but in her interview, Jennifer says Thomas needs to look in the mirror. She tells him that Craig misunderstood what she said, and he takes that as she’s calling them both liars. Thomas gets aggressive and Jennifer says she’s the only friend Kathryn trusts and it’s too bad Thomas isn’t another one. Thomas says there’s a common denominator and Jennifer says yeah, it’s him. Ha-ha!

Jennifer says Thomas hurt Kathryn and he’s making a scene at a nice party. He starts getting louder and finally walks away. Jennifer goes to where she thinks is a private spot and calls Kathryn, while Thomas whines to the others about Jennifer. Jennifer relays what Thomas said to Kathryn. Thomas says something to Patricia who announces there’s a spy in their midst when she goes past Jennifer. Jennifer has enough and decides to leave. Thomas is all, don’t mess with my family, like he really cares.

Next time, Landon throws Shep a birthday party, Craig thinks there’s more to Whitney and Kathryn’s relationship, and Danni suggests Kathryn extend an olive branch.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to live in a mansion, but then I think about how far it would be to the bathroom.

Brandi’s husband is headed off on a business trip. She misses the old days when they had date night. He’s trying to be a multi-millionaire. Leave him alone. Keep working, Bryan!

Leeanne tells her dogs she loves them, then she eats them. Not really, but could happen. Her boyfriend has a daughter from his second marriage and they’re wrapping some birthday gifts for her.

Brandi and Stephanie go out for drinks. It’s a pseudo date night. They decide to call Cary to come out and play. She’s having cocktails elsewhere, but says she’ll swing by.

Leeanne and Rich are out to dinner with his daughter, Elise, and they bug her about her boyfriend. Leeanne says kids were never on her radar, but being a family with Rich and his daughter is nirvana. I don’t know what it is about this woman, but she strikes me as desperate and over-eager.

By the time Cary arrives, Brandi and Stephanie are already wasted. Cary tells them that Mark is her third husband. The first one was when she was quite young and the second one disappeared after a couple of months. If she was Leeanne, I’d be suspicious. Brandi and Stephanie want to go to a strip club. Cary thinks nothing good will come of this, but she’s in.

Leeanne was raised by her grandparents because her mother was young when she had her. She says they were her stability until she met Rich. She says she loves where she is, but wants to get married in the future. Good luck with that. I don’t think Rich is very marriage minded. And why should he be? He’s been there and done that and already knows Leeanne.

The girls arrive at the strip club. No surprise, it’s cowboy strippers. The DJ asks for a volunteer and Brandi can’t get on stage fast enough. She starts dancing for the stripper. Wait a second. Isn’t that backward? The DJ suggest they give her a job.

Tiffany visits Leeanne. Tiffany says Leeanne takes day drinking to an art form, which might explain a lot. They discuss Brandi’s dog poopy hat. Tiffany thinks it was funny, but Leeanne was offended. She says she asked Stephanie and Cary to brunch to try and explain that they need to associate with better friends. Tiffany is like, in LA and NYC, no one would give a flying. Leeanne gets way out of line, talking about feeling sorry for Brandi’s daughters. I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with Leeanne in any way.

Stephanie asks Brandi if she had fun over the weekend. Brandi tears up. She says she doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong, but Bryan is upset about the strip club. Just keep working and shut up, Bryan! Brandi says they’re not in a good place right now, but it will be okay. Stephanie says guys don’t understand because their strip club experience is a different scene.

Aaron is playing guitar and singing. Tiffany makes cocktails. Tiffany says at one time, Aaron had a huge record deal and now he’s in the garage. I might be off the mark here, but I think you can record just about anywhere. Tiffany talks about putting on a charity event combined with him putting on a concert. She says he can get into the music scene and she can get some respect. Aaron suggests she find new friends. She agrees she needs to expand her circle of friends outside of Leeanne. Aaron asks if Leeanne gets along with anyone except her. I can’t wait for Leeanne to get her inevitable comeuppance, but it’s a shame how I thought she would be so much more down-to-earth having grown up in the carny circuit.

Tiffany has asked Cary to be in an episode of her fashion blog. We collectively lust after Cary’s closet. She says Mark helped pick out a lot of her clothes and he swears he’s not gay. Aaron does the filming while Tiffany, Cary and Mark discuss various pieces of clothing. Mark is a natural in front of the camera.

Brandi’s mother is visiting. Her mother asks if Brandi got a package from her grandfather. Brandi has never had a relationship with him, but her mother says he wants to be a part of everyone’s lives. Her mother says the estrangement had nothing to do with her getting pregnant, it was about people taking sides in her parents’ divorce. Brandi had thought her grandfather disowned the family because of her mother’s pregnancy, but really her mother disowned him by taking her mother’s side in the divorce. She says he wants to meet the family.

Cary talks to Mark about doing some plastic surgery on her. The couples chat about how they met and got married. Aaron says it wasn’t something he had planned on. Tiffany says she’s glad she met them. Mark says they should come back and raid his closet because it’s actually better than Cary’s.

Leeanne and Tiffany get together to donate some clothes to charity. Tiffany tells her about the filming with Cary and says she thinks Cary has a great dry sense of humor. Tiffany wants to foster a friendship with her and Stephanie. Leeanne gets all dramatic and says she’ll have to be in the presence of Brandi then. And where does it end? Pretty soon they’ll be burping the alphabet. Leeanne claims to hate drama, but Tiffany echos my sentiments and says that’s like Charlie Sheen saying he hates hookers.

Bryan is back in town. Brandi says they’re barely speaking. He thinks she might hurt his business reputation by going to a strip club. I don’t think it was the going so much as the getting up on stage. Brandi tells him about her grandfather and says she wants to invite him over. She doesn’t think Bryan understands the importance of it. She says she feels like she hardly knows Bryan these days.

It’s time for the brunch with Leeanne, Cary and Stephanie. Stephanie feels like Leeanne dominates the conversation with her loudness, but Cary says she can be louder and she intends to be heard. Leeanne wants to explain the process of earning your “wings” in the charity circuit like she’s the charity Yoda. She brings up Mad Hatter’s and shows them an online blog (written by one of her friends) featuring Brandi’s hat. She then brings out Exhibit A, a plastic turd. Cary says she’s not concerned with what people think, just the charity. Leeanne says it wasn’t appropriate and if you bow at her, she bows back. Then she dares them to bow at her. Bow is pronounced like the bow in bow and arrow. Is this some kind of Texan term? Neither one of these girls is asking her what on earth she’s talking about, so I assume so. I’d like to whack Leeanne in the head with a bow. (Note: Later, during Watch What Happens Live, Cary said she wasn’t really familiar with the term, but it meant something like when guys bump chests.)

Cary says maybe a dildo on a hat would be inappropriate, but she doesn’t think the poopy was any big deal. Leeanne says the meeting isn’t about the hat, but about how their reputations are based on who they’re seen with. Leeanne acts like people have been asking questions about Stephanie hanging around with Brandi, when clearly she was the one who was doing the talking about her at the event. Cary says no one has told Leeanne that carny etiquette and Dallas etiquette aren’t the same thing. Leeanne says she cares about her ability to raise future funds. And since it’s not about the hat, she goes back to the hat topic. She says respect is a huge thing for her and Cary tells her she might as well slow her roll because you need to be born into Dallas society and that won’t be happening for Leeanne. Leeanne is annoyed that they’re not lapping at her font of wisdom and after getting borderline hysterical, tells them to discuss amongst themselves and leaves. Both Cary and Stephanie say they’re done. I might add that Cary has a real job as a nurse and had just gotten off of five hours of surgery, after which she had to deal with this nonsense.

Next time, Stephanie and Brandi take a road trip, Brandi’s grandfather visits, Leeanne and Brandi go at it with Leeanne wagging her finger all over the place.

April 24, 2016 — Hades, Houston, Headed for Baha, Shahs & Thrones

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hades and Zelena drive to a secluded spot for a picnic. Hades shows her the glittering lights of Underworld Storybrooke from the top of a cliff and tells her she deserves more. He says once his heart is beating again, he can leave and take her back. He says he doesn’t care about his plans anymore as long as he can have her. He tells her all of the heroes will be trapped in the Underworld when he leaves. He says he knows things are dicey with Regina, but it’s her sister or the two of them. He gets down on one knee and asks her to make chaos with him.

Regina is waiting up when Zelena gets home. She asks where Zelena has been. Zelena says Regina already knows; that’s why she’s there. Zelena says she didn’t say yes, but Regina says she didn’t say no either. Zelena says she can help Hades, but Regina says what if she’s wrong. Zelena tells her to stop pretending to care.

Back in the old kingdom days, Regina tries to talk to her mother, Cora. Cora blows her off and tells her to play with her doll and she’ll see Regina at supper. Regina opens a secret box that contains a wand. She points the wand at the doll, wanting to change the doll into a sister, but she ends up getting slammed to the ground. Her mother and father come running in. Regina is unconscious, but her mother says she’ll be fine.

In the Underworld, Regina tells the others that taking action against Zelena could be messy. She says there’s only one person they can trust to destroy the love between Zelena and Hades — Cora.

Gold talks to a sleeping Belle. He says it’s time for him to fix things, but he can’t use his magic. He says there’s only one way to save their child.

Underworld Cora is toting bags of flour. A guy who looks like his clothes are from Anthropologie tells her to get back to work. She pulls out a hook and knocks the supervisor and the rest of the workers out. Hook pops in and tells her that he wants his hook back and they need to get out of there.

In the old days, a little girl is using her magic to do some chores and her father is about to beat her for it. Everything freezes. Cora comes out of the woods and tells the girl that her father is wrong to make her feel badly for being who she is and that she has a gift. She asks if the girl would like to help her and show her father her magic isn’t wicked.

David’s evil twin, James, shows up while David is coming home with Underworld groceries. David wants to talk. James says David stole his glory and that he got everything James was due, and now he’s going to pay. David tells him to fight fair, but James says he’s already dead, so there’s nothing David can do to him. David tries to grab a sharp piece of wood, but James knocks him out first. James says David had fun pretending to be James and now the tables are going to be turned.

James as David goes to see Emma. She tells him that Regina is already at the rendezvous point and asks if David got Snow something for their anniversary. “David” tells her not to let Snow know he forgot and they leave.

Regina tells Cora that she’s trapped in the Underworld. Cora says Hades is the one who can’t leave, but Regina says with true love’s kiss, he can. She says Zelena thinks she can change him. Cora says he’s been there to long to be changed by something as simple as love. They have to make Zelena forget he ever existed.

In the old kingdom, Cora brings Zelena, the girl doing the magic in the woods, to help Regina. Zelena works a spell over Regina and Regina wakes up.

In the Underworld, Cora takes Regina to the River of Forgetfulness. One drop and Zelena will forget all about Hades. Cora tells Regina they’ll have to find a way to get Zelena to drink it. She says it’s time for Zelena to meet her mother.

James reveals himself to Emma and Robin in the woods. Cruella drives up, gripes about ruining her shoes, and slaps Emma “for killing her.” She says there’s only one man who can help them — Hades — but she needs the right leverage. Robin tries to shoot James, but it does no good since he’s already dead.

Cora shows up at Zelena’s Underworld place. Zelena says she doesn’t need anything from her, but Cora says let’s not pretend.

In the old kingdom, Zelena and Regina are playing princesses. Regina shows Zelena her mother’s wand box and Zelena opens it with a touch. Regina wonders if they’re related and says they have to ask Cora.

In the Underworld, Cora tells Zelena she’s been in a kind of prison and she had to come when she heard Zelena was there. Zelena thinks Regina sent her. Cora says she’s sure Zelena’s feelings for Hades are real, but she’s trying to fill the hole in her heart Cora created when she abandoned her. Cora says she’s sorry she gave Zelena away. Zelena asks why she did it and Cora says she thought it would be best for both of them, but she was wrong. She says she can’t leave the Underworld because of both Zelena and Regina. They hug and I almost believe Cora.

Regina fixes up a glass of water in the next room and Cora gives it to Zelena. Zelena says she’s imagined this day a thousand times and it feels like a dream. But in her dreams, the apology was genuine and Cora didn’t try to poison her. She tells Regina to come out. Zelena says neither one of them ever cared about her.

Old days Zelena and Regina ask Cora if they’re really sisters and Cora says yes. Regina says they should be a family. Cora says she’s disappointed. She says Regina can only depend on herself. She says if people found out about Zelena, all the things she’s been trying to do for Regina will go out the window. Cora has Zelena taken away. Regina swears to find her, but Cora makes them forget about one another.

Zelena and Regina get some fireballs going, but Cora tells them enough. She says if they should hate anyone, it’s her. She tells them it’s time they remembered. They link hands and Cora gives them back their memories. Cora says she thought that love was weakness and she was a fool. She tells Regina she’s stronger than Cora ever was, and she got the strength from those she loved, not Cora. She apologizes to Zelena for not giving her the family and love she deserved. She tells her not to make the same mistakes she did, but Zelena says it’s not too late. Cora says being there has taught her it’s never too late, especially for family and that you never stop being connected.

James has a gun on Emma and David at he pier. James knocks it out of his hand and Hook shows up. Cruella hides. James says he didn’t think David had it in him. David says they’re family and it doesn’t have to end this way; he can help James find peace. James says killing him is his unfinished business.

David and James fight. James pulls out a knife and ends up tumbling into the water where he disappears, poof! in a green swirl. Emma tells David some people just can’t move on.

Cora, Regina and Zelena are at the bridge. Cora says whatever her fate is, she deserves it. She says bringing the two of them together will bring her all the peace she needs and makes them promise to hold on to one another. She says that in the real Storybrooke, she and Regina never got to say good-by. Zelena says they never even got to say hello. Cora says she loves them both.

Cora walks out and gets caught up in a pink swirl. It looks like she got lucky with her last move and is going to a better place. She walks into the light.

Zelena says she waited her whole life for a mother and now she’s gone. Regina says she has another love to find and tells her to go to Hades. She says maybe Zelena can change him too. They hug.

Hades has the table set for a romantic dinner. I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire is on the turntable. Zelena is about to join him when Gold pops out. He says it’s her fault that Belle is asleep now. Zelena says it was Belle’s decision, but Gold says Zelena saw an opportunity and took advantage, like he’s doing now. Zelena says they made a deal. He says he had another deal he didn’t consider taking until she messed with him and Belle.

Gold introduces Peter Pan. He says Zelena is wicked but Pan is worse. Gold puts a sack over Zelena’s head. If I was Mr. Hand, I would say the people who write this show are on dope.

Next time, Emma says they’re going home, and Hades tells Hook and Emma they’re on their own in a land of no escape.

I Am Cait

Kris gets together with Cait and friends in Malibu for girl’s night. Cait says you have to be voted in and the girls okay Kris, who gets a special girl’s night bracelet. They talk about going on a ski trip.

Ella’s dad, Peter, is visiting. They get together for lunch with Cait and Candis. Peter is very supportive. Ella says he wasn’t as accepting when she first transitioned.

Cait, Candis and Ella get in the tiniest plane ever to head to the ski trip. Ella tells Cait about her father not being so supportive early on and Cait suggests she talk to him about it. Candis seconds that.

It’s ski time! Jenny and Kate are supposed to meet them, but the flight was canceled. At dinner, there’s a request for Ella to sing. She says she’ll do it if Cait and Candis kiss. (Say that three times real fast.) The dare is taken. Excitement abounds. Hmm…no singing though.

Jenny and Kate arrive. Ella tells them about the dare. Jenny says many relationships have begun that way. Especially if they star Molly Ringwald.

At breakfast, Candis reads something on her phone about Ted Cruz being concerned his daughters might get molested in bathrooms by trans women. Yikes. They show a scare tactic from a television ad. Cait doesn’t want to get politically involved, but Jenny says she’s a leader whether she wants to be or not, and needs to understand how urgent this work is.

Jenny tells Cait that there’s a movement to demonize trans women. Candis tells Cait she needs to be careful not to say things like referring to a trans woman as a “man in a dress.” Candis says the world grabs on to what she says and they have to show it’s okay to be non-conforming. Jenny says she has to fight for everyone, not just the pretty ones. Cait thinks of some rephrasing. She says the last thing she wants to do is create more stereotypes. Jenny says they need to send out the message that no matter how you look is okay. They joke that maybe they can get a TV show to send out the message.

More skiing! At lunch, Candis asks Ella if she’s going to talk to her dad when she gets home. Ella says they have a good relationship now and wonders if it will mess things up. She says the wounds that are there have led her not to want to pursue anything better. Interesting perspective.

Another fabulous breakfast! I’m gaining weight just watching this program. Jenny says she’s concerned about the hatred against the LGBT community who were involved with changing Houston bathroom law. Jenny thinks Cait tends to hide her head in the sand. Jenny tells Cait the Republicans are “her people,” and she needs to speak up.

Jenny says Republican candidates are stirring up fear-mongering to get votes. Cait says it’s time to go to Houston. Kate congratulates all of them for having come so far and being able to discuss things without a blow up.

Ella meets with Peter. She says she’s not trying to attack him, but it was difficult to look at him as the accepting father. He says it was hard in the beginning. Ella says she was almost going to get emancipated. Peter seems shocked, but she says that’s how hard it was then. Peter says it would have been her loss and he would have fought for her. Ella begs to differ.

Ella feels like he never acknowledged her pain and he says he acknowledges it now. He says both of them have blossomed, her as a daughter and him as a father. Tears, I love yous and hugs. Peter says he’s proud of her. She admits to labeling his love as conditional and feels she’s seen him for the first time. He says they’ll continue to grow.

Houston! These ladies must be so tired of traveling. They’re meeting with some ministers to talk. A lady named Mara, who is a huge advocate for the LBGT community, meets with the girls. Cait asks about her bathroom experience and says they need to visit some bathrooms. Kate tells her she’s becoming a leftist activist and this could mean arrest. They pass water around in the limo. Ha-ha!

They leave signs in the bathrooms saying a trans woman was here and nothing bad happened. I’ve always been all for unisex bathrooms, as I’ve put in my time in lines where there was no one waiting for the men’s room. And in emergencies, I’ve gone in the men’s room.

OMG – Kate is wearing a pair of round sunglasses with pink and yellow lenses straight out of the 60s. Jenny makes a call to one of the pastors on the list. He’s not there, but she asks if, as a trans woman, she would be welcome at the service. She tries putting Cait on the phone, but when Cait says who she is, the receptionist hangs up. Being fair, if someone called up out of the blue, saying they were Caitlyn Jenner, I might think it was a prank.

Cait says that as a Christian, she’s not happy with all the hate. Chandi says that the haters don’t look at it that way. Cait says her experience has been more positive and she realizes that there are big issues that other trans people have that she doesn’t.

As they near the church, Jenny gets nervous. She thinks they may be provoking trouble, but says they should go in with love in their hearts. We don’t see the services the girls go to, but apparently there was quite a positive response to Cait. Cait also had a discussion with a certain pastor about his public comments being offensive, something that Kate says no one has said to his face. Kate says that it planted a seed of respect.

The girls go to a Tex-Mex place for a meal. Kate tells Cait she’s seen a wonderful integration with Cait and Cait has earned her respect. Candis says she’s living proof that it’s never too late to make a change in the world. Chandi says it’s a shame that they can’t always pat themselves on the back and say “good job,” but she wants Cait to know that she’s done a good job. She says Cait doesn’t have to be the savior for their community, but being happy in herself is what’s important.

Everyone has kind things to say and Cait says how much she’s going to miss them. We flash back to different scenes from the past season. We see that despite our diversity, we’re not all that different. Cait gets teary-eyed and tells them all how much she loves them. Candis says they love her in return.

This was the finale, so there’s no preview. Since this isn’t a bunch of Wives at each other’s throats, I guess we don’t need a reunion. I hope Cait wants to do another season and the program gets renewed. This is one reality show that’s both entertaining and educational, and the more I get to know Cait, the more I love her too.

The Shahs of Sunset

Mike is meeting Reza at a cigar shop. Reza says cigars aren’t exactly his thing, but it’s time to get together with Mike. Reza says it was great to see him and Jessica at the party. Mike says he’s sorry about how he behaved, but he’s also tired of being on the defensive.

Reza says since the time they decided to work together, things went downhill. They agree that working together was a huge mistake. Mike takes full responsibility. Thank you. He says he’s gotten away with charming people, and doing the least to get the most. He takes the entire blame and my mouth is hanging open at his maturity. Reza says he’s finally a man; he just had a Bar Mitzvah and didn’t even know it.

Mike says he should come over for Shabbat. Reza tells him about the flash wedding plan. They do a ton of catching up.

GG had surgery to remove tissue from her tendons and needs the stitches removed. Shervin went with her to the surgery and is there with her now. She’s freaking a little while the guy removes the stitches (it’s not a regular doctor’s office) and I’m getting squeamish watching her reaction. I really feel badly for her, having so much arthritic pain at such a young age.

A few months ago, MJ had her eggs frozen. She thinks Tommy is the one who will end up fertilizing them. She says when she’s pregnant, whatever restrictions she has, like drinking and smoking, will be restrictions for him too.

Commercial break. They show what’s coming up, and I’m already rolling my eyes about Jessica giving orders in her too loud voice.

Reza comes by MJ’s. She tells him she’s going to get a semen analysis done with Tommy, and she’s all dolled up to take pictures for him to…you know. Reza poses her and puts whipped cream in strategic places. Maraschino cherries are added. He takes pictures with his phone.

They discuss her relationship with Tommy. MJ assures Reza that it’s not baby-making time yet. They’re just seeing if it’s a future possibility.

Asa says the only thing worse than her mom driving is her mom being a passenger. I hazard a guess that she’s right while watching her mom yelling at everyone on the road. They go shopping for some accents for Asa’s turban.

GG and MJ meet at a cafe. MJ says they haven’t been around one another much lately. GG has been getting her drink on a little too much and MJ says she’s been unrecognizable. I don’t know if I’d recognize her not drinking. The cafe is a dry restaurant, much to GG’s dismay, but MJ didn’t want anything interfering with the honesty of the conversation.

They talk about MJ’s relationship. GG thanks she always goes for the underdog. GG asks her if she’d believe it if someone told her Tommy was cheating on her. MJ says she has no reason to and why is GG asking? GG says she wonders if MJ will turn a blind eye like she did with some other guy. MJ wants to know what’s really bothering her. No surprise, GG totally overreacts and wants to run, although it’s MJ who ends up leaving.

Mike and Jessica are cooking dinner. This is another show that’s semi-food pornish. They’re getting ready to have the gang over for Shabbat dinner. Jessica wants to use their Tiffany crystal that they got for the wedding, but Mike is afraid something will get broken and he’ll get pissed. They argue over where to put the table. Who cares?

Reza wants to show Adam a house, so he gets an idea of what Reza would like to build. Adam suggests maybe he has some ideas of his own. In his individual interview, Adam says MJ is right and he wants his opinion to matter as much as Reza’s.

Ewww! this house! It’s like a concrete block. No, no and no. Reza’s outfit in his individual interview however, is a whole other story. He is totally rocking it. A gorgeous matching tie and pocket square, and an exquisite lapel pin.

MJ and Tommy go to the doctor’s appointment. Tommy jokes that MJ put an ad on Craigslist and he answered it. Seriously, he might be crude, but he’s funny and really seems to love her. He says he’s been practicing for this his entire life. Tommy goes to the room and MJ sends him the pictures. He comes out and everything went just swimmingly. Pun intended.

Reza and Adam are getting ready for the Shabbat dinner. Reza is going with the vintage Gucci. No, not old, he tells Adam. Adam tells him about MJ throwing shade at their relationship. Wait, back up a second. In the last interview, he was saying he agreed with her, now he’s saying she’s being shady? Reza says it’s one thing to disagree about the flash wedding, but another to undermine the plans.

Mike says the Shabbat dinner is like his and Jessica’s coming out party to the group. They have their outdoor space done up beautifully with chandeliers and strings of white lights, and of course the food is fabulous and there’s lots of liquor. GG is the only one not coming, but drama queen Asifa is there.

Asifa says she thinks GG needs serious help. Everyone else pretty much agrees. MJ says she needs to want to help herself and it’s not happening. Reza says Asifa needs to make it right, but her boyfriend, Bobby, doesn’t agree. Reza adds that GG has medical issues as well. Jessica wants them to stop talking old stuff and move on. Asa says they need to be more sensitive to one another.

Reza asks to speak with MJ on the side. He tells her about how she dumped on his plans. He doesn’t want her creating problems where there aren’t any. She tells him he needs to change his mind about the marriage. When Reza gets back to the table, Adam tells him he’s not deaf and he heard his name. Reza makes something up about how MJ doesn’t think they should buy a new house. Adam says it’s none of her business. Reza goes over to MJ and tells her in Persian what he said to Adam.

Once again when Reza gets back to the table, Adam says he knows they were talking about him, but Reza says he was just checking MJ. MJ tells Mike about the secret flash wedding plans. Adam tells Asa he can’t trust MJ, so she says, don’t.

Shervin lets the table know what MJ said about a surprise wedding and Reza acts like he doesn’t even know what she’s talking about. I don’t blame him. Mike says enough already.

The guys put on their yarmulkes. Mike makes a speech about how much everyone means to him and Jessica. They break bread. Mike says this is part of having a grown up life with family. Reza says it’s beautiful because some are Muslim and some are Jewish. As silly as this group is, there are many who should take a page from their book. Everything ends on a happy note.

Next time, Reza asks about Mike’s sex life, Jessica complains, a camping trip and a GGvention happens.

Fear the Walking Dead

A boat has capsized. The survivors band together in a lifeboat. One of them is not too well off. When it’s nighttime, one of the passengers is going to kill him, but gets stopped. Another says they’ll starve soon and have to find shelter on land. He says they have to consider what’s best for the sick guy who should be put out of his misery. Sick guy tells the girl, Alex, that it’s okay. I wish everyone would wear name tags.

Victor is trying to make a call. He gives his coordinates and says he’s on his way.

Madison and Travis can’t sleep. She asks him if he’s “here,” and he looks pretty worried. They start to have sex when a noise interrupts them. Travis jumps out of bed.

Travis suggests something is blocking the water tank and causing a problem with the engine. Madison wants to wait until daybreak to investigate, but Travis says the boat has to move. He dives below.

Yep, I knew it. Zombie caught in the whatchamacallit. As Doc from Z Nation would say, that explains the pull to the left.

Back inside, Travis fixes the problem, getting the zombie parts out of the system. Victor asks how long, and Travis says boats aren’t his forte, so it could take all day. Victor says get it done.

Daniel looks at Ofelia’s wound. He tells her it looks infected, but she’s says they’re out of antibiotics. She says she’ll ask Madison for help and Daniel says they help their own. Ofelia says they can’t just go to Walgreens.

Up on deck, the crew sees a bunch of suitcases that have washed up on shore. Madison doesn’t want anyone being put in danger, but Nick and Alicia say they’re going on a run for supplies. They get in a smaller boat along with Chris and Daniel.

Daniel makes noises about how it would be warmer in Mexico. He takes Madison aside and tells her how he saw the maps Victor was hiding. He suggests she’d have more luck than him asking Victor what his plans are.

On shore, they find tons of stuff, along with bodies and airplane parts. Daniel tells everyone to be quick. He’ll keep watch and they’re to fill their bags and come back.

Travis has to dive again. Madison looks to shore with her binoculars. She watches for Travis over the side of the boat.

Chris breaks away from the others because he’s a real genius who wants to get eaten.

Madison sees red bubbling up from the ocean and then the body of the zombie clogging the works pops up. Travis comes to the surface.

Chris finds the body of the plane. He looks for something to use as a weapon and goes inside because he’s a super genius. He sees a zombie wearing an oxygen mask and decides to take a brilliant chance in taunting it. There are other zombie passengers as well. All of a sudden what we thought was a dead body near Chris wakes up and asks for help.

Madison approaches Victor about where they’re going. She asks if they’re going to Mexico. Victor tells her about a safe place in Baha that he’s headed to. He has a self-sustaining property there. She asks if he’s going to abandon them. He says the real danger on the ocean is people. She says they have to go back to back to get this done. She tells him if he even looks wrong at anyone in her family, she’ll throw him overboard, but he says she’s not a killer.

Daniel finds some rosary beads and gets lost in thought. Nick brings him a shirt, but he says it’s bad luck to steal from the dead. I guess that only goes for stuff that he doesn’t want. Daniel has been looking at pharmaceuticals, and Nick tells him about different ones. Daniel notices Chris is gone and leaves to look for him.

Chris gets the passenger out of his seat, but he’s badly hurt. He asks for help again, but Chris doesn’t know what to do, so he just sits there. Finally, he gets up. He brings something over and bashes the guy’s head in. That wasn’t the kind of help I was expecting, but I guess he thought the guy was too far gone.

Daniel wanders around calling for Chris. Nick and Alicia are on the beach. They decide it’s taking too long and are going to follow. Nick finds a bag with drugs in it because he has antennae.

Back on the boat, Madison tells Travis about Victor’s place in Baha. She says it’s their best chance and they should trust him. Travis asks if they have a choice. When Madison says no, he says it’s not trust then.

Daniel continues to search for Chris. He sees Alicia running down a sand dune. She says they’re coming and to run. Yep, they’re coming. Zombies. Lots of them.

Nick sees a zombie in a sandpit. It’s unclear if the zombie is eating the crabs or they’re eating him. While Nick is transfixed, another zombie comes from behind. After a short tussle, he stabs it in the head. Oh crap! Tons of zombies are above him.

Alicia finds Chris. She sees blood on him and he says he killed a zombie.

On the boat, Madison hears gun shots. She sees what’s happening on the beach and says they have to move.

The search group gathers at the shoreline, but now Nick is missing. It’s a zombie free-for-all, with Daniel shooting, the others stabbing, and zombies attacking. On the boat, Travis is desperately trying to get the yacht moving.

The zombies back the shore group against a cliff. Nick comes out of nowhere covered in blood and swinging a weapon. Nickhas realized the Walking Dead secret of covering yourself in entrails to walk among them.

The group runs like crazy back to the small boat. They drag it to the water. From the yacht, they see the others bringing in a lifeboat behind them with Alex and the sick guy in it.

Victor is like, no. Madison tells them all about the plan to go to Baha. Travis says they can’t stay on the water forever. Alicia says they have to at least help the lifeboat people for the night. Travis says they can tow them, that way they won’t be on the yacht. Travis tells Alex they can give them food and water. Alicia is pissed, but Madison says it’s the best she can do.

Victor is stressed. Ofelia tells Nick that he smells like death. Nick gives her the rosary beads.

Alex tells sick guy this is the worst it’s going to be and that every day will get better. Nice try.

Victor suddenly runs past Madison and cuts the lifeboat loose. D-bag.

Next time, Victor has a gun, Travis doesn’t trust Victor, new people come along, Daniel also has a gun and says they don’t need Victor.

Game of Thrones

If Jon Snow isn’t dead, he’s doing a pretty good imitation of it. Ghost howls and Davos tells them to bring Jon inside. Everyone just stands around.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s the Red Woman. She takes a look at Jon. She says she saw him in the flames fighting at Winterfell. Davos says he’s gone now. I can feel the audience collectively willing her to bring him back.

The announcement is made to the group at Castle Black that Jon was killed by the Night’s Watch. Jon was considered a traitor for letting the Wildings in. The knight says a terrible choice was given to them by Jon.

Bron says they all die today and they should take Thorne with them. Davos says they’re not the only ones who owe their lives to Jon. Bron tells them to lock the door and don’t let anyone in until he comes back.

Creepy Ramsay gives a speech over Myranda’s dead body, saying her pain will be paid for a thousand times over. Roose asks if Ramsay feels like a victor. Roose chides him for losing Sansa. He says he can’t produce an heir without Sansa.

Sansa and Theon run through the woods. They have to cross a river, but Sansa can’t do it. It’s probably pretty freaking cold because winter is not just coming, it’s here. They manage to get to the other side and hide under a fallen tree. Theon hugs Sansa to keep her warm.

Hounds are heard in the distance. Theon tells Sansa the commander of Castle Black will help her and comes out to meet the soldiers. He tells them that Sansa is dead. The dogs don’t think so though and lead the soldiers to Sansa under the tree. A soldier drags Sansa out, but here comes Brienne!

She and Podrick have a swordfight with the soldiers. They must be good because they’re outnumbered and still winning. Podrick is almost killed, but Theon picks up a sword and saves him. All is quiet.

Brienne puts her sword beneath Sansa’s feet and swears by the old gods and the new to always protect her. Sansa swears that Brienne will always have a place at her hearth, etc. all the stuff they say to accept.

Cersei, who has a little more hair, comes out to meet Jaime. There’s a sad, longing look on her face. They talk in private. Cersei says when their mother died, she wondered every day and night what her body looked like now. She says she thinks about Myrcella’s body and Jaime tells her not to think about it, she’s gone now. Cersei talks about how good Myrcella was and Jaime says he failed their daughter. Cersei talks about how the Red Woman predicted the death of her children.

Jaime says screw everybody and that they’re taking back everything that was taken from them and more.

A sister tries to get Margaery to confess. Margaery wants to see her brother, but the sister says she isn’t to make commands. Jonathan Pryce comes in and Margaery asks how her brother is. He says he’s not here about her brother, but her husband misses her, and that sin leads us away from the sacred and only confession can bring it back. She says she has nothing to confess and he asks if she thinks she’s without sin. She says no one is and he tells her she has a long way to go.

Doran walks with Ellaria in Dorne. They talk about Oberyn. He says Oberyn was born to be an adventurer and he was born to rule. He gets a note about Myrcella and suddenly his guard gets a knife to the back.Ellaria gives Doran a knife to the heart. (Good-by, dude from Deep Space Nine!) She tells him his son is weak like him and weak men will never rule Dorne again. Alrighty then.

Doran’s son is faced by two women who say one of them is going to kill him. And one of them does. So much for that family.

Tyrion walks with Varis, who tells him he walks like a rich person. They’re pretending to be commoners. Tyrion tries to give a beggar woman money for food, but he’s not so good at the language and she thinks he wants to eat her baby. Varis translates better.

Tyrion talks about Dany and how the people of Meereen think she abandoned them. Varis says she did fly off on a dragon and not come back. Varis says the Sons of the Harpy take orders from someone and he’s sent his little birds to find out who.

There’s a commotion and people are running. Varis and Tyrion see a load of smoke coming from somewhere. Dany’s fleet of ships have been set on fire.

Ser Jorah is looking for Dany. Daario suggests that maybe Dany no longer wants to be queen. He asks if it’s frustrating, wanting someone who doesn’t want you back, and Jorah says yes. He checks under his sleeve and looks at where the stone disease is creeping along his arm.

Jorah finds a piece of jewelry in the grass. He says they have her.

Dany is bound and being led along by some Dothraki. Two of them talk about Dany and what they’d like to do to her. They get to the campsite and take her to their Khal.

The Khal’s wives are immediately jealous. The Khal says seeing a beautiful woman naked for the first time is one of the best things in life. He’s about to touch Dany and she talks to him in Dothraki about who she is. He starts to laugh. He tells her she is nobody and tonight he’s going to lie with her. She says she lies with no one. The Khal says he likes her and she has spirit. She says she was the wife of Khal Drogo and he asks forgiveness and says no one will touch her. He cuts off her bonds and she asks for an escort back to Meereen. He says she’s going to the place where the crones once married to Dothraki leaders live.

Arya is blind and begging for alms. The Waif throws a stick to her and tells her to stand and fight. She says she can’t see and the Waif says that’s her problem. Arya gets knocked around pretty good. The Waif says she’ll see her tomorrow. I guess Arya won’t be seeing her though. BA DUM CHH!

At Castle Black, Davos has a visit by Ser Alliser, who says he’ll grant amnesty to all of them. Davos says he’ll need food if he’s going to make it south. Alliser says surrender by nightfall, and they can take or leave the Red Woman.

The Red Woman is doing some meditating or spell casting or something. She gets nakey in front of a mirror and takes off her necklace. Argghh! She’s a shriveled up old lady! She gets into bed.

Next time, Cersei fights back, Arya fights, and Tyrion meets a dragon. Maybe.

April 22, 2016 — Happy Earth Day, GH & a Quote

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

Carly comes into Sonny’s office. She says he left so early, she didn’t get a chance to wish him a happy birthday. She pulls out a muffin with a candle in it.

Julian takes Alexis’s last bite of toast at the MetroCourt, but he’s really being nosey. He doesn’t get a chance though, because Olivia interrupts with Leo news.

Finn and Tracy are playing backgammon for real money and Finn is losing miserably. He gets Tracy’s test results which are excellent.

Jordan is on the phone asking for files, saying that Lomax is breathing down her neck. Andre comes into the station.

Paul visits Anna. She tells him as soon as she posts bail, she’s going after him again. He tells her she’s not getting out on bail.

Monica tells Tracy that Griff says she can go home in a few days. She says Tracy shouldn’t go full steam back to ELQ though, and had better come back for follow-ups. Tracy says maybe Finn can win his money back, but he says he’s leaving Port Charles.

Sonny and Carly share the birthday muffin. They talk about how it’s been a rough year, but Sonny is glad that Carrrlos is behind bars and says they’re closer to getting Julian.

Olivia tells Julian that Leo can stand now. She goes to get the video. Alexis tells Julian not to ask her any more questions about the case, if he wants marital harmony to continue, since she has to stick to attorney-client privilege.

Olivia turns around to see Ned, who is looking good. She says she didn’t know he was back in town and asks if Tracy is okay. He says she’s on the mend and asks how Olivia is doing. He asks to see pictures of Leo. She hands him her phone and says just keep swiping, since it’s all Leo. He says he heard she told Julian the truth and it must have been a relief. Olvia says she and Julian are co-parenting.

Alexis says she’s already pushing ethical boundaries, and tells Julian to quit pestering her. He says he has complete faith in her, so he’ll back off. Alexis leaves for work.

Tracy tells Monica she can’t let a doctor of Finn’s caliber slip away. Tracy says they need an infectious disease specialist on staff. Monica suggests making his position permanent. Finn hesitates and Tracy asks if his board game reputation means nothing to him. He says she’s right and steps outside with Monica.

Finn tells Monica that Obrecht is adamant about wanting him gone. Monica says the Quartermaine name pulls a lot of weight and she’ll change Obrecht’s mind. Obrecht overhears and asks just how she’s going to do that.

Carly says there are more birthday surprises coming. Sonny says he enjoys celebrating now because of the kids. He asks if there’s going to be cake, and Carly says she’s going to spoil him rotten. She talks about a surprise again and leaves.

Sonny gets back on the phone. He wants to know if there are any developments on Carrrlos.

Andre tells Jordan he’s there to evaluate a prisoner and doesn’t want to pick up their argument again. Jordan apologizes, saying she was just worried about Anna. She tells him that Anna is in custody now. Andre is shocked. Alexis comes into the station and wants to talk to Jordan about Carrrlos.

Paul says she can’t post bail without a hearing and he’s not sure if she’s of sound mind. He says if she was granted bail, she might be considered a flight risk, and she might also be considered irrational. She says she’s perfectly sane, but Paul says he’s having an evaluation done. Enter Andre.

Ned says Olivia seems happy and is glad that the co-parenting thing is working out. He says the reason they couldn’t be together was because of the lie. Olivia asks how long he’s in town. Ned says a few days, but maybe they could get together for a movie. They plug the new Captain America film. He says he won’t be there by the time it opens, so maybe they can get coffee.

Monica tells Obrecht they want to put Finn on permanent staff. Obrecht says Monica is a heart surgeon, not in charge of hiring. She says Monica’s opinion is irrelevant. Carly comes by and asks what Obrecht’s problem is.

Anna asks if Andre is working for Paul now. He says of course not, and he had no idea she was the prisoner they were asking him to evaluate. He tells Anna he can’t objectively evaluate her anyway, and asks what the blip happened.

Alexis asks if the file is all the evidence they have. Jordan says they have some statements, one of which is from Sabrrrina. Alexis says Sabrrrina might be biased and there’s little physical evidence. Jordan says by the time Carrrlos goes to trial, they’ll have more. Alexis is going to make a motion to dismiss.

Sonny hears Alexis on the phone and asks if she’s working hard to get the man who almost killed him off. Like Sonny is some kind of angel.

Olivia shows Julian the video. He asks her if something happened because she was gone a while. She says it was just hotel business. They’re both delighted about Leo standing as only parents of the standing baby can be, like Leo is the first baby to have done this. Olivia says Julian seems distracted. She asks if Carrrlos is on his mind.

Anna tells Andre she’s done with subterfuge, so she confessed, and she also told Jordan about Paul killing Sloane. She says Lomax got Paul out, and she thought once she was out on bail, she could continue her investigation. Andre says the more she escalates, the more desperate Paul will become and he’s capable of murder. She says he won’t hurt her, but she needs to get out and collect more evidence against both Paul and Carrrlos.

Ned pops into Tracy’s room. She says he’s a welcome sight in such a dreary place, but she’d rather see him around the breakfast table every morning. She says now that she’s not dying, he has even more of a reason to stay — ELQ is back in the family’s hands.

Carly asks Obrecht what she has against Finn. Jocelyn says he’s smart and cool and has a bearded dragon as a service animal. Obrecht thanks Carly and offspring for their input, but as chief-of-staff, she’s going to make sure Finn doesn’t get hired. Monica says maybe it’s time for that to change.

Andre says for someone who was just arrested for attempted murder, Anna has a big to-do list. She says the only person who can confirm that Carrrlos killed Duke is Sabrrrina. Andre asks what she plans on doing when she gets out. He says he last time he turned his back, she put Paul in handcuffs and took off for South America. He says it sounds like that’s what she wants to do again.

Paul is from the ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away school of dealing with things, and acts like nothing happened with Jordan. Jordan tells Paul that Carrrlos is acting like he’s not going to take the deal. Paul says Alexis would be negligent not to tell him to take it.

Alexis tells Sonny if he has evidence, to take it to the DA. Sonny says after a decade of Alexis lecturing him, she’s fallen off her high horse. He says her ethics went out the window when she hooked up with Julian.

Julian says he’s out of the business, so Olivia doesn’t have to worry about Leo. She says she’s worried about him and his past catching up with him.

Carly says she wanted to do a follow- up to make sure Jocelyn is okay. Finn says that’s a good idea and Jocelyn leaves to use her phone. Finn thanks Carly for having his back.

Tracy says Ned has shown interest in the company, but he says it was just to keep it out of someone else’s hands. He says she keeps saying “we” when she always wanted to keep ELQ to herself. She says the reason they got the company back was because of Jason and everyone rallied around her when she was sick, so maybe it’s time to be a family again.

Ned is shocked that Tracy is speaking so fondly of the family. She says she’s capable of change. He wonders if she can keep from bickering with Monica and Tracy says Monica always starts it. She tells Ned that Port Charles is his home. Ned asks if once she’s on her feet, she won’t scheme to get ELQ back again. She says there are things more important than power.

Carly says Jocelyn’s class needs to study an animal, but she has no pets. Jocelyn says Roxie is cooler than a cat or a dog and she’d like to observe her in her native environment. She asks if she can study Roxie and Finn says they’ll set something up.

Alexis tells Sonny what she does is none of his business. Sonny says the DA is going to get Carrrlos to flip on Julian, but Julian sent her to stop him from taking the deal. He asks where her ethics are now and she says the same place they were when she defending his guilty ass. She says Julian is out of the business now, unlike Sonny. Sonny says she’s defending a madman to protect him and it’s going to come back to bite her. He says be careful because there are too many people who have too much to lose. He doesn’t want his daughter to lose her mother because she was in the line of fire.

Anna asks Andre if he’s kidding her. He says her behavior is bordering obsessive. Paul comes in and asks Andre if Anna is fit for bail.

Tomorrow, Paul underestimates Anna, Jordan wants Andre to choose between her and Anna, and Nina gets a surprise.

General Hospital — Friday

Felix and Michael meet with Sabrrrina’s father. Michael says he’s hoping Senor Santiago can help them find her. He asks if she’s in trouble.

Nina is too young for this kind of hangover, but she has one. Franco says he’s happy she was home when he got there, even if she was passed out. He assumes she wants to work things out, so he brought her a present.

Nathan sets up a surprise party for Maxie at the MetroCourt.

Griff says he’s not cleared to see Anna. Jordan says that’s correct.

Andre says he can’t make the bail call for Paul. (Say that 3 times real fast.) He tells Paul he has a prior relationship with Anna.

Maxie tells Lulu she and Dante look almost as happy as they were when they were together. Lulu says there’s a reason for that and Maxie says it’s the best day ever.

Paul asks how he knows Anna, is he her lover? Andre says it’s none of his business how they know one another and he has to find another psychiatrist for assessment. Paul tells Anna even her friends are refusing to help her, but she says Andre is refusing to help him.

Jordan asks Griff if he’s family. He says no. She says she’s restricted visitation to family and counsel. Andre comes in and asks Jordan if she knew that the psyche evaluation was for Anna and tells her that he recused himself. Jordan acts stupid because bottom line, she’s jealous.

Michael says they’re worried because they haven’t heard from Sabrrrina, and anything Senor Santiago can tell them would be helpful. He says if she needed help, she’d call her tia.

Franco has presented Nina with a puppy. He says her name is Daisy, but they can name her whatever Nina wants. Franco pretends the puppy is saying “momma,” and Nina realizes it’s his substitute for a baby. She tells him he’s out of his mind. Pets never last long on this show, although I have high hopes for Roxie.

Hi Felicia! Felicia asks Dillon if he’s seeing anyone and Mac tells her to back off. She says spring is in the air and it’s time for Dillon to find love.

Lulu and Dante are obviously back together. Dante says he needs to talk to Nathan, but Nathan says he needs his help with another surprise. Maxie tells Lulu there is still the small matter of Claudette, and Lulu tells her to let it go. Maxie says that’s what she’s doing and she told Nathan she didn’t want him proposing to get over her.

Jordan brings Andre into the interrogation room because that’s where all meetings take place. She says how is she supposed to know where they’re headed when he keeps straddling the line with Anna. She asks if he wants to be in a relationship with her or Anna.

Anna tells Paul that he probably enjoys nothing more than having a strong woman look at him with affection, but it’s not her. She says he wants her to look at him all teary eyed and beg for help. She says Paul tells women whatever they want to hear and most of them are so stupid and needy they go along with it. She tells him he’s only motivated by self-interest and extortion isn’t a foundation for trust. She says this is the third time she wound up in custody because of him and he’s done everything to find her weakness. She says at some point he’ll have to admit defeat. He tells her to wait for her victory lap until she’s out. She says the situation is too far-reaching for him to manage. She says he doesn’t really know what Carrrlos is going to do. She says if he tries to manipulate the situation any further, he’s going to lose. Scotty comes in and tells her to shut up.

Michael thanks Felix for coming along. They visit Sabrrrina’s aunt. Michael tells her they’re friends of Sabrrrina’s and asks if she’s there.

Franco says he knows it’s not the same, but the puppy will give her unconditional love. He says he thought it was something they could do together and that she needed something to love. She says the thing she was willing to love was him. She’s shocked that he knows so little about her that he thinks a dog could replace a baby.

Lulu says Nathan’s heart belongs to Maxie and Claudette is in the past. Griff comes in and Maxie tells him it’s her surprise engagement party. She asks him to stay and hang out. Nathan has the lights lowered and gets down on one knee. Griff has a weird look on his face.

Anna asks Scotty why he’s there. He says Christmas has come early for her, or is it Boxing Day in her world? He tells Paul he can slap a restraining order on him for harassing his client before she’s been formally charged. Paul leaves. Scotty talks to Anna with an Australian accent, intimating that Robert hired him.

Andre says there’s nothing romantic going on between him and Anna and Jordan has no reason to be jealous. She says Anna is her friend, but she’s always in the room with them even if she’s not physically there. She starts babbling on and Andre silences her with a kiss.

Scotty tells her from now on, don’t engage with someone who wants to put her behind bars. She says she and Paul have a complicated relationship and he asks if she’s sleeping with him. When she says no, he says too bad, he could have used it. He says being an ex-spy, he’d consider her a flight risk. Anna says Paul is manipulating the situation and tells him about Andre.

Nathan tells Maxie that she’s his world. He says she signs a positive light on everyone and everything, and she’s everything he’s ever wanted. He asks her to marry him again and gives her a real ring. She says yes and tells him the first one didn’t count. Griff drops a bottle on the floor.

Paul walks into the party and asks Dillon what’s up. Dillon explains it’s Maxie and Nathan’s engagement party. Paul says he clearly chose the wrong restaurant for lunch and Dillon asks why he’s so upset.

Mac tells Nathan he’s proven his love to Maxie even when she didn’t want it. He says they’ve had their share of hurdles, but they’ve overcome all of them. He says he raised Maxie and he’s happy for both of them. Nathan promises he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make her happy.

Maxie shows off the ring to Lulu. Lulu asks about Claudette and Maxie says it’s not over.

Sabrrrina’s aunt asks how Michael and Felix know her. Michael explains they’re friends of hers from Port Charles and talks about how highly Sabrrrina always spoke of her. She says she hasn’t spoken to Sabrrrina in months and wonders if she and her baby are all right. She says the last time they spoke, Sabrrrina said she’d let her know when the baby came and she hasn’t spoken to her since last fall.

Nina has to go to the engagement party and then she’s going to work. Franco says he understands the puppy is not going to replace a child. Nina says she was willing to let go of her pain and longing to be a mother for him, but now she doesn’t know who he is. She says he knows so little about her that he thinks a dog can replace motherhood for her. She says the dog is very sweet, but if he doesn’t get rid of her, they can both find another place to live.

Maxie tells her that she knows Nathan is committed to her. Lulu says it’s time to move on. Maxie says she agrees and that’s why she has to find out everything possible about Claudette. Griff wants to leave, but Maxie wants to introduce him around.

Dante wonders who Griff is. Nathan tells him that Maxie is convinced Griff has a secret. Dante asks if he thinks Griff is cool, but Nathan says that depends on the secret.

Griff meets Felicia and Mac and they talk about Anna. Felicia says Scotty is a shark and will figure out a way to get her released.

Anna tells Scotty about her relationship with Andre. She says Paul is trying to deem her incompetent and a flight risk. Scotty says he’ll be back and leave everything to him.
Franco says he’s sorry to Daisy. He says it’s you and me kid, and puts her back in the box.

Nina shows up at the party and congratulates Nathan and Maxie. Nathan asks if she’s okay. She says wonderful and starts to tear up. She says she hopes they have a slew of children in all possible genders.

Dante asks Lulu if she’ll come home for good. She says she thought he’d never ask.

Paul tells Griff he’s sorry about everything happening with Anna. Nathan talks to Griff, who can’t get out fast enough. Dillon says he didn’t know Griff and Nathan were friends. Nathan says they’re not, but he thinks Griff has a thing for Maxie.

Andre tells Jordan he hopes the kiss answers her confusion about who he wants in his life. She says it does. He leaves and she looks at her reflection. Outside, he confirms he’s not on call and says he has plans he can’t break. Scotty introduces himself and asks for a word or two.

Jordan tells Anna she understands why she did what she did, but in not telling her, she disrespected the office and their friendship. Anna apologizes. She says she’ll always regret shooting Carrrlos, but if she had it to do over again, she doesn’t think it would be any different. Jordan says she hopes Anna would include her. She says they need Sabrrrina.

Tia tells Michale and Felix she’s sorry she can’t be of more help. Michael sees a baby toy on the floor.

On Monday, Danny inherits a puppy, Julian pages Carrrlos, and Ric asks Sonny if he’s going to kill Carrrlos.

********************************************************************

Since The People’s Couch didn’t air tonight, I leave you with this:

“Movies are real! Music is real! It affects people, it’s real. … The other night I went to a club and I watched a DJ control an entire room. Even politicians can’t do that.” — Prince

 

April 20, 2016 — GH, Lotsa Little & NYC Wives Plus John

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carrrlos picks on Anna saying she’s just another perp. She says she’s sure he’s happy, but he says he didn’t turn her in; he never said a word about her. Anna calls him soulless and he says his soul belongs to Sabrrrina and his baby.

Felix and Michael talk. Michael is hoping Sabrrrina comes out of hiding and Felix says if he hears anything he’ll call Michael. Griff says sorry to eavesdrop, but he heard Felix talking about Carrrlos. Felix asks why he would be interested and Griff says he’s Duke’s son.

Michael drops by Dante’s place. Dante is obviously getting ready for a date night with Lulu, lighting candles and opening wine. He tells Michael it’s part of their couples therapy. At the MetroCourt, Lulu tells Laura she’s got a sitter for Rocco because she and Dante are doing a couples’ exercise. Laura says she’s looking pretty good for just doing therapy.

Lulu tells Laura it’s been a while since she and Dante consciously coupled. Laura thinks tonight is a good opportunity, but Lulu says the therapist said that’s a no for now, and she doesn’t want to jinx things. Laura tells Lulu she’s meeting with the cryptographer again and tells her that it’s Doc, and his hobby is breaking codes.

Michael tells Dante about his conversation with Felix and wonders if there’s any news about Sabrrrina on Dante’s end. Dante tells him they’re building a case against Carrrlos, but the rest is up to the Feds. He tells Michael not to be stupid looking for Sabrrrina.

Felix explains to Griff who Sabrrrina is to him and to Carrrlos. Griff is surprised to find that Carrrlos is a father.

Anna says that Carrrlos understands what it’s like to be a parent. She says part of it is being responsible for your actions, which is why they’re both there. She tells him how he didn’t just shatter her life, but Emma’s and Robin’s, and she has no sympathy for him whatsoever. She says now that he’s known the joy of being a parent, she hopes he suffers more being separated from his child.

Jason comes in to tell Sam good-night. She says he doesn’t have to leave. Looks like he’s staying.

Griff says he thought being on staff would be a good opportunity to meet people who knew his father, but he didn’t anticipate meeting people who knew Carrrlos. Michael comes by and tells them about Anna being arrested.

Carrrlos says he has family too, and did she think of that before she shot him? Anna says it was a set-up. He says she could have trusted the system but didn’t. She says Duke was unarmed. Carrrlos tells her to stop kidding herself and that Duke was no angel. Anna says he was getting out of the business and Carrrlos stole their second chance at happiness. She says he stole it from Duke’s son too, and he’ll never know his father because of Carrrlos.

Laura asks what happened to the envelope that Helena left to Lulu. Lulu says she shoved it somewhere and hopes she forgets about it. Funny. I could have sworn she left it at Windemere. Lulu says Helena said she’d need it when her life is empty and it’s hardly that. She leaves and Laura has a Helena memory. Doc comes in and asks her if she’s all right.

Michael wonders why Anna confessed since Carrrlos isn’t dead. Felix says maybe her conscious bothered her. Michael says Carrrlos says Sabrrrina and the baby are safe, but his word is meaningless.

Griff comes running into the jail, since everyone can just come and go with no security, and asks what he can do for Anna. He doesn’t believe she shot anyone, but she says yep, she did.

Lulu arrives at Dante’s and asks if Maxie helped him with the atmosphere. He says no, he wanted things perfect for her. She makes it clear she wants to stick to the plan and not risk progress by moving too fast. Dante wants her to see something first. He takes her hand.

Laura says she’s fine, and she and Doc sit down. She says she was just remembering how horrible Helena was and how relentless. She says she half-expects Helena to come and sit down at the table. Doc says, isn’t she already? How psychiatrist of him.

Jason and Sam are making out and Jason has a memory flash. He says they were on the bed kissing. Sam says it was the last night they were there together before he got shot. She says she’s memorized every detail of their time together and never thought they’d be there together again. She says it’s a miracle and he asks why she isn’t smiling then. She says she knows how fragile life is and she couldn’t stand to lose him again.

Dante shows Lulu a new bed, since the old one didn’t make Lulu too happy the last time she was there. They work on the exercise — rebuilding intimacy. They both sit on the bed. They’re supposed to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes with no talking or touching.

Michael says Sabrrrina is in a lose-lose situation and he has to find a way to fix it. He’s going to have to go to Puerto Rico.

Anna explains what happened the night she shot Carrrlos. I guess Griff doesn’t notice Carrrlos in the next cell. Griff is finding Anna’s story hard to take because he doesn’t want to believe she would shoot someone in cold blood. She says she violated her principles and ran from it. She says she wanted to face the consequences of what she did. Griff says he’s having a hard time wrapping his head around it and Carrrlos says believe it, he was there. Anna tells Griff that’s Carrrlos.

Doc tells Laura he decoded two words — heartbreak hotel. He asks if that means anything.

Sam apologizes for being afraid and says she never used to be that way. She says everything changed when Jason got shot. She had lost the man she planned on spending the rest of her life with. Jason says he’s not planning on going anywhere, so they’re good. They kiss.

Griff says in the name of some meaningless mob war, Carrrlos killed his father in cold blood. Anna tells Griff he didn’t stop there, and this is the man he wants them to forgive. Carrrlos says he was trying to feed his child and it’s more complicated than Anna spins it. Griff asks if Carrrlos is sorry.

Dante keeps touching Lulu’s leg and talking. They start to kiss. So much for the exercise. The timer goes off unnoticed.

Jason and Sam have pillow talk. She says she used to dread the mornings because for a second when she woke up, she would forget she was a widow. Jason says now they can wake up next to each other every morning.

Laura wonders if Helena was an Elvis fan. Doc asks if there’s any significance at all. Laura says everyone has been lonely in a hotel. Doc says he has, and tells her about when Lucy was revealed kissing Scotty at the Nurses Ball. He says it’s ironic the book belonged to him. Laura talks about when her marriage to Scotty ended. She wonders what anything has to do with Helena.

Sam wakes up hearing noises. She envisions Helena, who asks if she can’t sleep.

Michael says he can at least talk to Sabrrrina’s father. Felix says he’s coming along.

Carrrlos says to be sorry, he’d have to admit guilt, and even if he was, what difference would it make? Griff says he could start to forgive him. Carrrlos says he doesn’t need Griff’s forgiveness. Griff tells Anna that if they don’t find a way to forgive, they’ll never be free and Carrrlos will have taken their souls the same way he took Duke. Anna tells Carrrlos that Griff is sweet but doesn’t speak for her. she’ll never make peace with him.

Lulu and Dante bask in the afterglow. She wonders what to tell the therapist since they failed the exercise. Dante says it seemed pretty intimate to him. He says he didn’t remember it being so good. Lulu says she was so angry for so long, she can’t believe she was so willing to let everything go. She says she’s happy. Dante thinks they should do more exercises.

Doc asks what Helena said on the video. Laura tells him she said that Laura had taken from her what she loved the most. Laura isn’t sure if she meant Mikos or Stavros. She said she was being the better person and giving Laura the key to what she loved and lost. Doc said if Helena is telling the truth, something Laura loved and lost in a place that’s like a heartbreak hotel. What a genius! Laura thinks they’re wasting time. Doc says he just needs to spend more time with it and wonders if the hotel is literal or symbolic. They toast.

Helena tells Sam she didn’t pay attention to her words and she should have. Helena tells her to remember the curse, and that Sam and her loved ones will never know happiness in this life or any other. Sam calls out to Jason who was checking on Danny. She says she had a nightmare, but he tells her everything is fine.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Sonny to make a wish, Olivia sees Ned, and Paul tells Anna she’s not getting out on bail.

Little Women: LA

Matt creates atmosphere in the honeymoon hotel room with rose petals. I honestly don’t understand that rose petal thing. They stick to you and die quickly. On second thought, maybe it is appropriate here. Briana talks about Christy showing up at the wedding. She says she was nervous at first, but was glad Matt called her. That ought to be good for extra honeymoon nookie. Briana is hoping with time, the others come around and accept their relationship.

I’m starving and my soup is too hot. This has nothing to do with the show. I’m having dinner.

Christy says she has big news for Todd. She brings out a cupcake and tells Todd it’s like a fortune cookie. There’s a plastic baby inside. They’ve been matched at an adoption agency. They have to hurry with the paperwork as there are other couples in line, but they’re the best fit. The baby is from Bulgaria.

Tonya and Terra go baby shopping with Elena. She’s five months along and has nothing. They want to throw her a baby shower. Elena wants all the girls to be there. She tells them about Briana’s wedding, saying there weren’t that many people, but it was beautiful. She tells them about Christy showing up and Tonya asks if she was in a wheelchair. Ha-ha! Terra doesn’t really want to see her after she made such a big public deal about getting “injured” when Terra threw ice tea at her. Elena claims Christy wants to apologize.

Briana and Christy go out for ice cream. Now I want ice cream because my soup is still too hot. They talk about the baby shower and Christy wonders why there isn’t one for Briana. Now, why would anyone expect Terra and/or Tonya to do that when they weren’t even invited to the wedding? And shouldn’t Christy be the one to throw it? Christy talks about her injury. She says she’s willing to drop the charges, but wants a public apology from Terra. Good luck getting that.

Commercial break. Who thinks the La-Z-Boy commercial where Brook Shields is married to “Stavros” is a nod to General Hospital? Raise your hands. Yep. Thought so.

Elena is at the doctor with Preston and Terra tagging along. They’re going to find out what the sex of the baby is and whether Elena will be able to deliver naturally. The doctor says women with twins are higher risk whether a little person or not. The doctor isn’t opposed to Elena trying natural birth, but she suggests a C-section. Elena says she’s pretty sure little people deliver naturally in Russia all the time.

We find out that Elena is having two boys or “double trouble,” as the doctor calls them.

It’s baby shower time! Only Christy hasn’t RSVP’d. Terra says she’s going to be cool with Briana because she’s pregnant. Briana tells Terra that Christy wants a public apology and adds that on the way there she got a call from a detective. Terra says all the more reason for her not to say anything. As if on cue, here comes Christy.

Terra, whose lipstick matches her purple scarf, says she lost her appetite. Terra and Tonya toast to the babies. Elena and Preston reveal the gender with silly string. Terra says Penny will have two boyfriends to pick from.

Terra talks to Briana and Jasmine and says she knows how Matt feels a little bit now, with all the lies going on. She says whenever anyone does a background check on her, for a job or anything else, it’s going to come up in the search.

Jasmine and Tonya approach Christy. Jasmine says they were both in the wrong. Tonya tells her that even if Christy drops the charges, it’s a matter of public record now. Terra says she has nothing to say and walks away. Tonya tells her to just let Christy talk, but Terra says that the police report will always be on her record.

Christy tells Elena that what Terra did was aggravated assault. Terra leaves, and everyone else starts to trickle out. Christy feels responsible for putting a damper on the party.

Matt insists he and Briana are having a boy. Like Elena, Briana isn’t getting an amnio test because it’s risky. Yep, it’s a boy. Briana already has a girl, so she’s pretty excited.

Three weeks later. Terra talks with Tonya and Jasmine. Matt is sending d*ck pics again. A few women have sent cell phone conversations to Terra. She says he was doing it the whole time they were in Mexico. Jasmine feels sick, since she’s been supporting him. Apparently, Matt also had a conversation with Joe where he said he’d never kill or hurt Briana, but he sexts with other women. That’s somewhat distressing.

Tonya says now Jasmine sees what they’ve seen all along. Jasmine asks if they can put the issues with Christy aside and get together to discuss it. They agree. This is sad.

Terra discusses the intervention with Joe. He wonders why they’re wasting their time. Terra also found out Matt has a Tinder account and wonders if he’s physically cheating on Briana too. She tells Joe about Matt’s previous relationship where there were abuse charges. She discovered he made a plea bargain when he’s been saying the charges were dropped. Terra says she wouldn’t be a good friend if she didn’t make a try. Terra wants to let Briana stay at their house, but Joe says no because of Penny. He says they have their own problems and he doesn’t want a dangerous situation around Penny. Terra walks out.

The girls gather at Jasmine’s place. Briana has been staying away from the group since she found out that Matt has been sending inappropriate texts again. She found out on Valentine’s Day, no less. She wanted to kick him out, but she says they’re married and she felt that she couldn’t do that. Jasmine asks if Briana considers it cheating and she says yes. Terra says he talks poorly about Briana in the texts as well. She says she’s gotten messages from five different women.

Briana says she’s torn because she knows people have issues and make mistakes. She says her mind can’t grasp what’s happening and she can’t turn to her family. She says it’s for better or worse and you work it out. Elena says it’s beyond a second chance now. Tonya says Briana is making excuses and the relationship is toxic for both her and the children. She tells Briana she got married under false pretenses since Matt’s actions don’t show he loves her.

Briana feels confused. Elena says he’s just a man in her life, not her life. Elena thinks she’s scared that she won’t find someone else, and she needs to learn how to love herself. Christy thinks Matt has an addiction problem. Elena thinks that’s just an excuse, but Christy says he needs to go to rehab. Briana makes more excuses and Tonya brings up that he’s been doing it for a while and he was doing it in Mexico. Briana feels violated and embarrassed. She wants to hate Matt and feels sorry for him at the same time. She tells the girls she’s literally lost. They just had their wedding and were celebrating her pregnancy. She says no one sees what she sees.

Jasmine says she’s been supportive of Matt, but she doesn’t think he cares about Briana. if Briana stays with him, she’ll hurt forever, but if she leaves, it will just hurt for a while. Jasmine is very astute tonight. She tells Briana that her home is open to her, her daughter and the baby. In her individual interview, Jasmine says she’s scared for Briana and wants nothing to do with Matt. Terra says despite the past, Briana has family in all of them and she should never feel trapped.

Briana thanks them, but says she wants to take time to make a decision. She has to talk to Matt, so she’s going to leave and deal with that. Terra gives her copies of some of the texts.

Briana says whatever she decides, it will be in the best interest of her children.

This is the finale. Briana is still with Matt and still can’t decide.

Terra’s Little Family

Terra agrees to talk to Olivia. She tells Olivia she doesn’t want her to leave, but they need to communicate better. She says Penny is her first child and can they agree to twice a day phone calls. Olivia says that’s fine.

Traci has had her baby boy. Terra visits with Joe and Penny. Traci’s baby, Jacob, is average sized. Joe watches football with Traci’s husband while the ladies talk.

Terra tells Joe she’s signed them up for yoga class. Joe is like, no way, and makes a million excuses. He says he’d rather they get a Brazilian wax together. I’ll bet not though.

Penny shoots some hoops with her brother. She tells him about wanting another baby and how Joe isn’t keen on it. She says a lot of things are a challenge for Joe because of his back. She wants Joe to see a doctor. Her brother tells her not to bite off more han she can chew.

Terra forces Joe to go to yoga class. He says parts of his body are being bent that haven’t moved in years. No surprise, he makes jokes throughout the class. Terra notices that Joe has to modify all of the positions. She suggests again that he see the doctor and says he should do it for Penny. Joe had four surgeries when he was younger and doesn’t want another one. Terra says sooner or later, he’s going to have to do something. Joe has to admit his life would be better and agrees to making an appointment.

One week later. Joe tells the doctor he’s felt a degeneration in his back. The doctor asks about holding Penny and Joe admits it’s difficult. They look at Joe’s back X-rays and it’s obvious there’s a serious situation going on. The doctor says it will be a progressive problem. They’d be doing a fushion with rods implanted. The doctor says it’s fixable, but it will be an eight hour surgery. In the meantime, Joe can get steroid shots, but it’s only a temporary solution.

Joe wants to take a year to prepare, but Terra thinks he should just get it over with. She asks the doctor about his recovery time. The doctor says he’ll need help with most things.

On the way home, Terra says she was surprised at how extensive the problem was. Joe says they need to wait on baby number two. Terra says he should have the surgery soon then, but Joe says he thinks it should happen when it’s absolutely necessary. They both think the other one is being selfish. Joe thinks they should have as few children as possible. Terra doesn’t want to abandon her dream of a bigger family. Joe adds that all kinds of things could go wrong. He says at the end of the day it’s his back and he needs support in his decisions. Joe says right now he’s not ready for back surgery and he’s not ready for another baby.

Joe’s band is playing a gig. They’re a cover band called Nirvanish. Terra also has a show coming up, doing some songs from Penny’s Playlist. She asks Joe to play for her and he wants to make a wager. He says more people will show up for his band than for her performance. If he wins, she has to dress up like a French maid, if she wins, he has to bathe the dogs. Joe’s band gets a pretty good crowd.

Terra thinks they should start water safety measures since they have a pool and a baby. Joe thinks it’s crazy and that Penny is too young, but both Terra and I disagree.

Joe and Terra take Penny to swim class. It looks like a lot of fun. First they just pour water on the baby’s head and make whee! sounds, then the babies get dipped underwater. The instructor helps Terra with that part. Joe claims he had a couple of mini strokes while watching.

Terra is trying to expand her brand with the Penny’s Playlist album. Joe’s band will play when she and Tonya are making costume changes. The crowd isn’t exactly huge, but the kids seem like they’re having fun. Terra feels that it was a success and Joe tells her to get out the French maid outfit. Terra actually looks more like a Swiss maid.

Elena and Tonya meet Terra for lunch. She asks Elena how the pregnancy is going. Elena asks her if she’s convinced Joe to have another baby yet. Tonya thinks another baby will be hard along with Joe’s surgery. Elena agrees. She tells them to shut up because she’s pregnant. Elena asks if she’s kidding and Terra runs from the table.

Next week, Terra is scared, Terra tells Joe about the pregnancy, and Joe gets an injection.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Back at the bra party, Dorinda is having a smoke outside. Jules tries to smooth things over and they both go back inside. Jules tells Ramona that Dorinda is upset. The bra ladies just ignore all of it and keep working on fittings. Bethenny suggests Ramona apologize to Dorinda.

Ramona practices her apology and apologizes the same way she walked the runway — like an awkward robot. Dorinda calls it a drive-by shooting. Ramona leaves and Jules says Ramona has no filter. Dorinda no longer wants to go to Ramona’s for the weekend. She calls John.

At first he’s on speaker and obviously knows he’s been talked about. Bethenny wants to know who the rat is. John comes upstairs. I like him less every time I see him. Bethenny and Jules are still there, and Bethenny says he’s a little “lit up.”

John asks if Bethenny knows his friend who owns SkinnyCow and says something about her stealing his name. Bethenny explains that a girl and a cow are different. Dorinda tells him not to start problems with Bethenny and to get out. Bethenny says something about the issue they’ve been hiding and I’m not sure what she’s talking about, except she did say something about doing lines. Dorinda keeps telling John to leave and says they’ve both hurt her.

Dorinda calls John an embarrassment and finally gets him out the door. Bethenny tells Jules she feels vindicated. Dorinda comes back and says it’s unheard of. Bethenny says no it’s not, and tells her she’s in a relationship where she obviously doesn’t know what to do. John pops back in and Jules gets him back out again.

In the hallway, John tells Jules that Bethenny is jealous. She tells him not to give everyone ammo. He says he’ll wait downstairs for Dorinda and to send her up. What’s wrong with this sentence? Bethenny tells Dorinda nothing is a big deal. Dorinda says she doesn’t want to move forward with the other women or John, she just wants to go home and cry. After they’re gone, Bethenny tells Jules that John doesn’t make Dorinda happy like she says.

Carole calls Bethenny and asks what happened when she left, since she passed John on the way out. She says when she left, she thought it couldn’t get any worse, but she was wrong. Bethenny says they’ll talk later and asks if Carole is coming to her party. Carole says she’d rather not be around the Countess, but she’ll ignore it. She asks if it’s a bad time to call Dorinda, since she forgot the bras she bought, but Bethenny says she should wait on that.

The Countess is meeting with a realtor who she was once roommates with. Sonja comes along to look at apartments. Do I really need to say how fabulous the apartment is? And how great the view is? The realtor wants to show her something downtown as well, but Sonja is like, why?

Why? Because it’s even more amazing than the other place.

Bethenny is going over a new Skinny Girl promotion with her assistants. She also has to sign off on one of the many divorce bills. Ramona comes by the office. She reads a bunch of messages from Dorinda who basically blew her off. Ramona thinks she’s taking what she said too hard and thinks she hit a nerve. Bethenny says the reason she’s so defensive is that she knows what they’re saying is true. She tells Ramona about John showing up at the bra party. She says what they’ve been saying showed up. She thinks Dorinda is hooked on the action, but knows that John isn’t good for her.

Ramona asks what Jules said, but Bethenny doesn’t remember. They call her. Bethenny tells her that Ramona is there and asks about her view of the situation with John. In her individual interview, Jules says she felt like she was under seige. Jules somewhat defends them since they’re the ones who introduced her to the group.

Bethenny suggests she, Ramona and Dorinda have dinner. Bethenny wonders if John will honor her dry cleaning gift certificate now and says she’ll go in under the name of SkinnyCow.

John and Dorinda are staying with Jules and Michael in the Hamptons. John says he’d rather sleep in his car than at Ramona’s house. Jules fills Michael in that they’ll be staying with them, even though their house is under construction.

Commercial break. In the new line picture of the NYC Wives, they’re all dressed in black and look like vampires.

Bethenny is getting ready for the dinner with Dorinda and Ramona. She wants Dorinda to admit she needs to reevaluate her relationship, but realistically knows it could go several different ways.

Jules and Michael’s house is massive. She says it’s a never-ending project. They do a quick Shabbat using Hawaiian Punch and breadsticks. I like it.

Dorinda and John (bleh) arrive. Dorinda excuses herself for the dinner. She says she just wants to say her peace, but she and Ramona’s friendship is liked a cracked mirror now. She says Bethenny thinks she’s being helpful, but Ramona has been her friend since the earth cooled. She says if you’re not nice to John, you’re out. Michael asks what she wants and she says not anything really. She says she feels betrayed and humiliated and gets teary-eyed.

Michael and Dorinda have to explain “Et tu, Brute?” to Jules, while John pretends to know what they’re talking about.

Ramona meets Bethenny at the restaurant first. Ramona tells Bethenny that Dorinda isn’t staying at her house. Bethenny thinks Dorinda shouldn’t be mad at her. Ramona says being a true friend means no restrictions of topics. While I usually don’t agree with her, I do this time.

Dorinda has every intention of letting Ramona know she’s a piece of doo-doo. She arrives at the restaurant and calls it round two. Bethenny asks if she and Ramona are okay. Dorinda says she doesn’t understand how Ramona could have said what she did in front of everyone and it was despicable. Bethenny says she should check herself and that when John came in, he proved her right. She says Dorinda is in denial. Dorinda says she can do what she wants. Bethenny says John attacked her and Dorinda says she is sorry for that. She says she chooses John though, and maybe she should see them apart from him.

Dorinda says she’s has enough negativity. Bethenny says she’s sorry Dorinda is so torn and Ramona says she didn’t mean to hurt Dorinda. Dorinda says she loves John and Bethenny tells her not to settle for less then she deserves. Dorinda belives Ramona is truly sorry for crossing the line, but she’d be lying if she said all was well.

Next week, the Hamptons, John apologize…sort of, and the Countess and Carole tangle.