April 24, 2016 — Hades, Houston, Headed for Baha, Shahs & Thrones

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hades and Zelena drive to a secluded spot for a picnic. Hades shows her the glittering lights of Underworld Storybrooke from the top of a cliff and tells her she deserves more. He says once his heart is beating again, he can leave and take her back. He says he doesn’t care about his plans anymore as long as he can have her. He tells her all of the heroes will be trapped in the Underworld when he leaves. He says he knows things are dicey with Regina, but it’s her sister or the two of them. He gets down on one knee and asks her to make chaos with him.

Regina is waiting up when Zelena gets home. She asks where Zelena has been. Zelena says Regina already knows; that’s why she’s there. Zelena says she didn’t say yes, but Regina says she didn’t say no either. Zelena says she can help Hades, but Regina says what if she’s wrong. Zelena tells her to stop pretending to care.

Back in the old kingdom days, Regina tries to talk to her mother, Cora. Cora blows her off and tells her to play with her doll and she’ll see Regina at supper. Regina opens a secret box that contains a wand. She points the wand at the doll, wanting to change the doll into a sister, but she ends up getting slammed to the ground. Her mother and father come running in. Regina is unconscious, but her mother says she’ll be fine.

In the Underworld, Regina tells the others that taking action against Zelena could be messy. She says there’s only one person they can trust to destroy the love between Zelena and Hades — Cora.

Gold talks to a sleeping Belle. He says it’s time for him to fix things, but he can’t use his magic. He says there’s only one way to save their child.

Underworld Cora is toting bags of flour. A guy who looks like his clothes are from Anthropologie tells her to get back to work. She pulls out a hook and knocks the supervisor and the rest of the workers out. Hook pops in and tells her that he wants his hook back and they need to get out of there.

In the old days, a little girl is using her magic to do some chores and her father is about to beat her for it. Everything freezes. Cora comes out of the woods and tells the girl that her father is wrong to make her feel badly for being who she is and that she has a gift. She asks if the girl would like to help her and show her father her magic isn’t wicked.

David’s evil twin, James, shows up while David is coming home with Underworld groceries. David wants to talk. James says David stole his glory and that he got everything James was due, and now he’s going to pay. David tells him to fight fair, but James says he’s already dead, so there’s nothing David can do to him. David tries to grab a sharp piece of wood, but James knocks him out first. James says David had fun pretending to be James and now the tables are going to be turned.

James as David goes to see Emma. She tells him that Regina is already at the rendezvous point and asks if David got Snow something for their anniversary. “David” tells her not to let Snow know he forgot and they leave.

Regina tells Cora that she’s trapped in the Underworld. Cora says Hades is the one who can’t leave, but Regina says with true love’s kiss, he can. She says Zelena thinks she can change him. Cora says he’s been there to long to be changed by something as simple as love. They have to make Zelena forget he ever existed.

In the old kingdom, Cora brings Zelena, the girl doing the magic in the woods, to help Regina. Zelena works a spell over Regina and Regina wakes up.

In the Underworld, Cora takes Regina to the River of Forgetfulness. One drop and Zelena will forget all about Hades. Cora tells Regina they’ll have to find a way to get Zelena to drink it. She says it’s time for Zelena to meet her mother.

James reveals himself to Emma and Robin in the woods. Cruella drives up, gripes about ruining her shoes, and slaps Emma “for killing her.” She says there’s only one man who can help them — Hades — but she needs the right leverage. Robin tries to shoot James, but it does no good since he’s already dead.

Cora shows up at Zelena’s Underworld place. Zelena says she doesn’t need anything from her, but Cora says let’s not pretend.

In the old kingdom, Zelena and Regina are playing princesses. Regina shows Zelena her mother’s wand box and Zelena opens it with a touch. Regina wonders if they’re related and says they have to ask Cora.

In the Underworld, Cora tells Zelena she’s been in a kind of prison and she had to come when she heard Zelena was there. Zelena thinks Regina sent her. Cora says she’s sure Zelena’s feelings for Hades are real, but she’s trying to fill the hole in her heart Cora created when she abandoned her. Cora says she’s sorry she gave Zelena away. Zelena asks why she did it and Cora says she thought it would be best for both of them, but she was wrong. She says she can’t leave the Underworld because of both Zelena and Regina. They hug and I almost believe Cora.

Regina fixes up a glass of water in the next room and Cora gives it to Zelena. Zelena says she’s imagined this day a thousand times and it feels like a dream. But in her dreams, the apology was genuine and Cora didn’t try to poison her. She tells Regina to come out. Zelena says neither one of them ever cared about her.

Old days Zelena and Regina ask Cora if they’re really sisters and Cora says yes. Regina says they should be a family. Cora says she’s disappointed. She says Regina can only depend on herself. She says if people found out about Zelena, all the things she’s been trying to do for Regina will go out the window. Cora has Zelena taken away. Regina swears to find her, but Cora makes them forget about one another.

Zelena and Regina get some fireballs going, but Cora tells them enough. She says if they should hate anyone, it’s her. She tells them it’s time they remembered. They link hands and Cora gives them back their memories. Cora says she thought that love was weakness and she was a fool. She tells Regina she’s stronger than Cora ever was, and she got the strength from those she loved, not Cora. She apologizes to Zelena for not giving her the family and love she deserved. She tells her not to make the same mistakes she did, but Zelena says it’s not too late. Cora says being there has taught her it’s never too late, especially for family and that you never stop being connected.

James has a gun on Emma and David at he pier. James knocks it out of his hand and Hook shows up. Cruella hides. James says he didn’t think David had it in him. David says they’re family and it doesn’t have to end this way; he can help James find peace. James says killing him is his unfinished business.

David and James fight. James pulls out a knife and ends up tumbling into the water where he disappears, poof! in a green swirl. Emma tells David some people just can’t move on.

Cora, Regina and Zelena are at the bridge. Cora says whatever her fate is, she deserves it. She says bringing the two of them together will bring her all the peace she needs and makes them promise to hold on to one another. She says that in the real Storybrooke, she and Regina never got to say good-by. Zelena says they never even got to say hello. Cora says she loves them both.

Cora walks out and gets caught up in a pink swirl. It looks like she got lucky with her last move and is going to a better place. She walks into the light.

Zelena says she waited her whole life for a mother and now she’s gone. Regina says she has another love to find and tells her to go to Hades. She says maybe Zelena can change him too. They hug.

Hades has the table set for a romantic dinner. I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire is on the turntable. Zelena is about to join him when Gold pops out. He says it’s her fault that Belle is asleep now. Zelena says it was Belle’s decision, but Gold says Zelena saw an opportunity and took advantage, like he’s doing now. Zelena says they made a deal. He says he had another deal he didn’t consider taking until she messed with him and Belle.

Gold introduces Peter Pan. He says Zelena is wicked but Pan is worse. Gold puts a sack over Zelena’s head. If I was Mr. Hand, I would say the people who write this show are on dope.

Next time, Emma says they’re going home, and Hades tells Hook and Emma they’re on their own in a land of no escape.

I Am Cait

Kris gets together with Cait and friends in Malibu for girl’s night. Cait says you have to be voted in and the girls okay Kris, who gets a special girl’s night bracelet. They talk about going on a ski trip.

Ella’s dad, Peter, is visiting. They get together for lunch with Cait and Candis. Peter is very supportive. Ella says he wasn’t as accepting when she first transitioned.

Cait, Candis and Ella get in the tiniest plane ever to head to the ski trip. Ella tells Cait about her father not being so supportive early on and Cait suggests she talk to him about it. Candis seconds that.

It’s ski time! Jenny and Kate are supposed to meet them, but the flight was canceled. At dinner, there’s a request for Ella to sing. She says she’ll do it if Cait and Candis kiss. (Say that three times real fast.) The dare is taken. Excitement abounds. Hmm…no singing though.

Jenny and Kate arrive. Ella tells them about the dare. Jenny says many relationships have begun that way. Especially if they star Molly Ringwald.

At breakfast, Candis reads something on her phone about Ted Cruz being concerned his daughters might get molested in bathrooms by trans women. Yikes. They show a scare tactic from a television ad. Cait doesn’t want to get politically involved, but Jenny says she’s a leader whether she wants to be or not, and needs to understand how urgent this work is.

Jenny tells Cait that there’s a movement to demonize trans women. Candis tells Cait she needs to be careful not to say things like referring to a trans woman as a “man in a dress.” Candis says the world grabs on to what she says and they have to show it’s okay to be non-conforming. Jenny says she has to fight for everyone, not just the pretty ones. Cait thinks of some rephrasing. She says the last thing she wants to do is create more stereotypes. Jenny says they need to send out the message that no matter how you look is okay. They joke that maybe they can get a TV show to send out the message.

More skiing! At lunch, Candis asks Ella if she’s going to talk to her dad when she gets home. Ella says they have a good relationship now and wonders if it will mess things up. She says the wounds that are there have led her not to want to pursue anything better. Interesting perspective.

Another fabulous breakfast! I’m gaining weight just watching this program. Jenny says she’s concerned about the hatred against the LGBT community who were involved with changing Houston bathroom law. Jenny thinks Cait tends to hide her head in the sand. Jenny tells Cait the Republicans are “her people,” and she needs to speak up.

Jenny says Republican candidates are stirring up fear-mongering to get votes. Cait says it’s time to go to Houston. Kate congratulates all of them for having come so far and being able to discuss things without a blow up.

Ella meets with Peter. She says she’s not trying to attack him, but it was difficult to look at him as the accepting father. He says it was hard in the beginning. Ella says she was almost going to get emancipated. Peter seems shocked, but she says that’s how hard it was then. Peter says it would have been her loss and he would have fought for her. Ella begs to differ.

Ella feels like he never acknowledged her pain and he says he acknowledges it now. He says both of them have blossomed, her as a daughter and him as a father. Tears, I love yous and hugs. Peter says he’s proud of her. She admits to labeling his love as conditional and feels she’s seen him for the first time. He says they’ll continue to grow.

Houston! These ladies must be so tired of traveling. They’re meeting with some ministers to talk. A lady named Mara, who is a huge advocate for the LBGT community, meets with the girls. Cait asks about her bathroom experience and says they need to visit some bathrooms. Kate tells her she’s becoming a leftist activist and this could mean arrest. They pass water around in the limo. Ha-ha!

They leave signs in the bathrooms saying a trans woman was here and nothing bad happened. I’ve always been all for unisex bathrooms, as I’ve put in my time in lines where there was no one waiting for the men’s room. And in emergencies, I’ve gone in the men’s room.

OMG – Kate is wearing a pair of round sunglasses with pink and yellow lenses straight out of the 60s. Jenny makes a call to one of the pastors on the list. He’s not there, but she asks if, as a trans woman, she would be welcome at the service. She tries putting Cait on the phone, but when Cait says who she is, the receptionist hangs up. Being fair, if someone called up out of the blue, saying they were Caitlyn Jenner, I might think it was a prank.

Cait says that as a Christian, she’s not happy with all the hate. Chandi says that the haters don’t look at it that way. Cait says her experience has been more positive and she realizes that there are big issues that other trans people have that she doesn’t.

As they near the church, Jenny gets nervous. She thinks they may be provoking trouble, but says they should go in with love in their hearts. We don’t see the services the girls go to, but apparently there was quite a positive response to Cait. Cait also had a discussion with a certain pastor about his public comments being offensive, something that Kate says no one has said to his face. Kate says that it planted a seed of respect.

The girls go to a Tex-Mex place for a meal. Kate tells Cait she’s seen a wonderful integration with Cait and Cait has earned her respect. Candis says she’s living proof that it’s never too late to make a change in the world. Chandi says it’s a shame that they can’t always pat themselves on the back and say “good job,” but she wants Cait to know that she’s done a good job. She says Cait doesn’t have to be the savior for their community, but being happy in herself is what’s important.

Everyone has kind things to say and Cait says how much she’s going to miss them. We flash back to different scenes from the past season. We see that despite our diversity, we’re not all that different. Cait gets teary-eyed and tells them all how much she loves them. Candis says they love her in return.

This was the finale, so there’s no preview. Since this isn’t a bunch of Wives at each other’s throats, I guess we don’t need a reunion. I hope Cait wants to do another season and the program gets renewed. This is one reality show that’s both entertaining and educational, and the more I get to know Cait, the more I love her too.

The Shahs of Sunset

Mike is meeting Reza at a cigar shop. Reza says cigars aren’t exactly his thing, but it’s time to get together with Mike. Reza says it was great to see him and Jessica at the party. Mike says he’s sorry about how he behaved, but he’s also tired of being on the defensive.

Reza says since the time they decided to work together, things went downhill. They agree that working together was a huge mistake. Mike takes full responsibility. Thank you. He says he’s gotten away with charming people, and doing the least to get the most. He takes the entire blame and my mouth is hanging open at his maturity. Reza says he’s finally a man; he just had a Bar Mitzvah and didn’t even know it.

Mike says he should come over for Shabbat. Reza tells him about the flash wedding plan. They do a ton of catching up.

GG had surgery to remove tissue from her tendons and needs the stitches removed. Shervin went with her to the surgery and is there with her now. She’s freaking a little while the guy removes the stitches (it’s not a regular doctor’s office) and I’m getting squeamish watching her reaction. I really feel badly for her, having so much arthritic pain at such a young age.

A few months ago, MJ had her eggs frozen. She thinks Tommy is the one who will end up fertilizing them. She says when she’s pregnant, whatever restrictions she has, like drinking and smoking, will be restrictions for him too.

Commercial break. They show what’s coming up, and I’m already rolling my eyes about Jessica giving orders in her too loud voice.

Reza comes by MJ’s. She tells him she’s going to get a semen analysis done with Tommy, and she’s all dolled up to take pictures for him to…you know. Reza poses her and puts whipped cream in strategic places. Maraschino cherries are added. He takes pictures with his phone.

They discuss her relationship with Tommy. MJ assures Reza that it’s not baby-making time yet. They’re just seeing if it’s a future possibility.

Asa says the only thing worse than her mom driving is her mom being a passenger. I hazard a guess that she’s right while watching her mom yelling at everyone on the road. They go shopping for some accents for Asa’s turban.

GG and MJ meet at a cafe. MJ says they haven’t been around one another much lately. GG has been getting her drink on a little too much and MJ says she’s been unrecognizable. I don’t know if I’d recognize her not drinking. The cafe is a dry restaurant, much to GG’s dismay, but MJ didn’t want anything interfering with the honesty of the conversation.

They talk about MJ’s relationship. GG thanks she always goes for the underdog. GG asks her if she’d believe it if someone told her Tommy was cheating on her. MJ says she has no reason to and why is GG asking? GG says she wonders if MJ will turn a blind eye like she did with some other guy. MJ wants to know what’s really bothering her. No surprise, GG totally overreacts and wants to run, although it’s MJ who ends up leaving.

Mike and Jessica are cooking dinner. This is another show that’s semi-food pornish. They’re getting ready to have the gang over for Shabbat dinner. Jessica wants to use their Tiffany crystal that they got for the wedding, but Mike is afraid something will get broken and he’ll get pissed. They argue over where to put the table. Who cares?

Reza wants to show Adam a house, so he gets an idea of what Reza would like to build. Adam suggests maybe he has some ideas of his own. In his individual interview, Adam says MJ is right and he wants his opinion to matter as much as Reza’s.

Ewww! this house! It’s like a concrete block. No, no and no. Reza’s outfit in his individual interview however, is a whole other story. He is totally rocking it. A gorgeous matching tie and pocket square, and an exquisite lapel pin.

MJ and Tommy go to the doctor’s appointment. Tommy jokes that MJ put an ad on Craigslist and he answered it. Seriously, he might be crude, but he’s funny and really seems to love her. He says he’s been practicing for this his entire life. Tommy goes to the room and MJ sends him the pictures. He comes out and everything went just swimmingly. Pun intended.

Reza and Adam are getting ready for the Shabbat dinner. Reza is going with the vintage Gucci. No, not old, he tells Adam. Adam tells him about MJ throwing shade at their relationship. Wait, back up a second. In the last interview, he was saying he agreed with her, now he’s saying she’s being shady? Reza says it’s one thing to disagree about the flash wedding, but another to undermine the plans.

Mike says the Shabbat dinner is like his and Jessica’s coming out party to the group. They have their outdoor space done up beautifully with chandeliers and strings of white lights, and of course the food is fabulous and there’s lots of liquor. GG is the only one not coming, but drama queen Asifa is there.

Asifa says she thinks GG needs serious help. Everyone else pretty much agrees. MJ says she needs to want to help herself and it’s not happening. Reza says Asifa needs to make it right, but her boyfriend, Bobby, doesn’t agree. Reza adds that GG has medical issues as well. Jessica wants them to stop talking old stuff and move on. Asa says they need to be more sensitive to one another.

Reza asks to speak with MJ on the side. He tells her about how she dumped on his plans. He doesn’t want her creating problems where there aren’t any. She tells him he needs to change his mind about the marriage. When Reza gets back to the table, Adam tells him he’s not deaf and he heard his name. Reza makes something up about how MJ doesn’t think they should buy a new house. Adam says it’s none of her business. Reza goes over to MJ and tells her in Persian what he said to Adam.

Once again when Reza gets back to the table, Adam says he knows they were talking about him, but Reza says he was just checking MJ. MJ tells Mike about the secret flash wedding plans. Adam tells Asa he can’t trust MJ, so she says, don’t.

Shervin lets the table know what MJ said about a surprise wedding and Reza acts like he doesn’t even know what she’s talking about. I don’t blame him. Mike says enough already.

The guys put on their yarmulkes. Mike makes a speech about how much everyone means to him and Jessica. They break bread. Mike says this is part of having a grown up life with family. Reza says it’s beautiful because some are Muslim and some are Jewish. As silly as this group is, there are many who should take a page from their book. Everything ends on a happy note.

Next time, Reza asks about Mike’s sex life, Jessica complains, a camping trip and a GGvention happens.

Fear the Walking Dead

A boat has capsized. The survivors band together in a lifeboat. One of them is not too well off. When it’s nighttime, one of the passengers is going to kill him, but gets stopped. Another says they’ll starve soon and have to find shelter on land. He says they have to consider what’s best for the sick guy who should be put out of his misery. Sick guy tells the girl, Alex, that it’s okay. I wish everyone would wear name tags.

Victor is trying to make a call. He gives his coordinates and says he’s on his way.

Madison and Travis can’t sleep. She asks him if he’s “here,” and he looks pretty worried. They start to have sex when a noise interrupts them. Travis jumps out of bed.

Travis suggests something is blocking the water tank and causing a problem with the engine. Madison wants to wait until daybreak to investigate, but Travis says the boat has to move. He dives below.

Yep, I knew it. Zombie caught in the whatchamacallit. As Doc from Z Nation would say, that explains the pull to the left.

Back inside, Travis fixes the problem, getting the zombie parts out of the system. Victor asks how long, and Travis says boats aren’t his forte, so it could take all day. Victor says get it done.

Daniel looks at Ofelia’s wound. He tells her it looks infected, but she’s says they’re out of antibiotics. She says she’ll ask Madison for help and Daniel says they help their own. Ofelia says they can’t just go to Walgreens.

Up on deck, the crew sees a bunch of suitcases that have washed up on shore. Madison doesn’t want anyone being put in danger, but Nick and Alicia say they’re going on a run for supplies. They get in a smaller boat along with Chris and Daniel.

Daniel makes noises about how it would be warmer in Mexico. He takes Madison aside and tells her how he saw the maps Victor was hiding. He suggests she’d have more luck than him asking Victor what his plans are.

On shore, they find tons of stuff, along with bodies and airplane parts. Daniel tells everyone to be quick. He’ll keep watch and they’re to fill their bags and come back.

Travis has to dive again. Madison looks to shore with her binoculars. She watches for Travis over the side of the boat.

Chris breaks away from the others because he’s a real genius who wants to get eaten.

Madison sees red bubbling up from the ocean and then the body of the zombie clogging the works pops up. Travis comes to the surface.

Chris finds the body of the plane. He looks for something to use as a weapon and goes inside because he’s a super genius. He sees a zombie wearing an oxygen mask and decides to take a brilliant chance in taunting it. There are other zombie passengers as well. All of a sudden what we thought was a dead body near Chris wakes up and asks for help.

Madison approaches Victor about where they’re going. She asks if they’re going to Mexico. Victor tells her about a safe place in Baha that he’s headed to. He has a self-sustaining property there. She asks if he’s going to abandon them. He says the real danger on the ocean is people. She says they have to go back to back to get this done. She tells him if he even looks wrong at anyone in her family, she’ll throw him overboard, but he says she’s not a killer.

Daniel finds some rosary beads and gets lost in thought. Nick brings him a shirt, but he says it’s bad luck to steal from the dead. I guess that only goes for stuff that he doesn’t want. Daniel has been looking at pharmaceuticals, and Nick tells him about different ones. Daniel notices Chris is gone and leaves to look for him.

Chris gets the passenger out of his seat, but he’s badly hurt. He asks for help again, but Chris doesn’t know what to do, so he just sits there. Finally, he gets up. He brings something over and bashes the guy’s head in. That wasn’t the kind of help I was expecting, but I guess he thought the guy was too far gone.

Daniel wanders around calling for Chris. Nick and Alicia are on the beach. They decide it’s taking too long and are going to follow. Nick finds a bag with drugs in it because he has antennae.

Back on the boat, Madison tells Travis about Victor’s place in Baha. She says it’s their best chance and they should trust him. Travis asks if they have a choice. When Madison says no, he says it’s not trust then.

Daniel continues to search for Chris. He sees Alicia running down a sand dune. She says they’re coming and to run. Yep, they’re coming. Zombies. Lots of them.

Nick sees a zombie in a sandpit. It’s unclear if the zombie is eating the crabs or they’re eating him. While Nick is transfixed, another zombie comes from behind. After a short tussle, he stabs it in the head. Oh crap! Tons of zombies are above him.

Alicia finds Chris. She sees blood on him and he says he killed a zombie.

On the boat, Madison hears gun shots. She sees what’s happening on the beach and says they have to move.

The search group gathers at the shoreline, but now Nick is missing. It’s a zombie free-for-all, with Daniel shooting, the others stabbing, and zombies attacking. On the boat, Travis is desperately trying to get the yacht moving.

The zombies back the shore group against a cliff. Nick comes out of nowhere covered in blood and swinging a weapon. Nickhas realized the Walking Dead secret of covering yourself in entrails to walk among them.

The group runs like crazy back to the small boat. They drag it to the water. From the yacht, they see the others bringing in a lifeboat behind them with Alex and the sick guy in it.

Victor is like, no. Madison tells them all about the plan to go to Baha. Travis says they can’t stay on the water forever. Alicia says they have to at least help the lifeboat people for the night. Travis says they can tow them, that way they won’t be on the yacht. Travis tells Alex they can give them food and water. Alicia is pissed, but Madison says it’s the best she can do.

Victor is stressed. Ofelia tells Nick that he smells like death. Nick gives her the rosary beads.

Alex tells sick guy this is the worst it’s going to be and that every day will get better. Nice try.

Victor suddenly runs past Madison and cuts the lifeboat loose. D-bag.

Next time, Victor has a gun, Travis doesn’t trust Victor, new people come along, Daniel also has a gun and says they don’t need Victor.

Game of Thrones

If Jon Snow isn’t dead, he’s doing a pretty good imitation of it. Ghost howls and Davos tells them to bring Jon inside. Everyone just stands around.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s the Red Woman. She takes a look at Jon. She says she saw him in the flames fighting at Winterfell. Davos says he’s gone now. I can feel the audience collectively willing her to bring him back.

The announcement is made to the group at Castle Black that Jon was killed by the Night’s Watch. Jon was considered a traitor for letting the Wildings in. The knight says a terrible choice was given to them by Jon.

Bron says they all die today and they should take Thorne with them. Davos says they’re not the only ones who owe their lives to Jon. Bron tells them to lock the door and don’t let anyone in until he comes back.

Creepy Ramsay gives a speech over Myranda’s dead body, saying her pain will be paid for a thousand times over. Roose asks if Ramsay feels like a victor. Roose chides him for losing Sansa. He says he can’t produce an heir without Sansa.

Sansa and Theon run through the woods. They have to cross a river, but Sansa can’t do it. It’s probably pretty freaking cold because winter is not just coming, it’s here. They manage to get to the other side and hide under a fallen tree. Theon hugs Sansa to keep her warm.

Hounds are heard in the distance. Theon tells Sansa the commander of Castle Black will help her and comes out to meet the soldiers. He tells them that Sansa is dead. The dogs don’t think so though and lead the soldiers to Sansa under the tree. A soldier drags Sansa out, but here comes Brienne!

She and Podrick have a swordfight with the soldiers. They must be good because they’re outnumbered and still winning. Podrick is almost killed, but Theon picks up a sword and saves him. All is quiet.

Brienne puts her sword beneath Sansa’s feet and swears by the old gods and the new to always protect her. Sansa swears that Brienne will always have a place at her hearth, etc. all the stuff they say to accept.

Cersei, who has a little more hair, comes out to meet Jaime. There’s a sad, longing look on her face. They talk in private. Cersei says when their mother died, she wondered every day and night what her body looked like now. She says she thinks about Myrcella’s body and Jaime tells her not to think about it, she’s gone now. Cersei talks about how good Myrcella was and Jaime says he failed their daughter. Cersei talks about how the Red Woman predicted the death of her children.

Jaime says screw everybody and that they’re taking back everything that was taken from them and more.

A sister tries to get Margaery to confess. Margaery wants to see her brother, but the sister says she isn’t to make commands. Jonathan Pryce comes in and Margaery asks how her brother is. He says he’s not here about her brother, but her husband misses her, and that sin leads us away from the sacred and only confession can bring it back. She says she has nothing to confess and he asks if she thinks she’s without sin. She says no one is and he tells her she has a long way to go.

Doran walks with Ellaria in Dorne. They talk about Oberyn. He says Oberyn was born to be an adventurer and he was born to rule. He gets a note about Myrcella and suddenly his guard gets a knife to the back.Ellaria gives Doran a knife to the heart. (Good-by, dude from Deep Space Nine!) She tells him his son is weak like him and weak men will never rule Dorne again. Alrighty then.

Doran’s son is faced by two women who say one of them is going to kill him. And one of them does. So much for that family.

Tyrion walks with Varis, who tells him he walks like a rich person. They’re pretending to be commoners. Tyrion tries to give a beggar woman money for food, but he’s not so good at the language and she thinks he wants to eat her baby. Varis translates better.

Tyrion talks about Dany and how the people of Meereen think she abandoned them. Varis says she did fly off on a dragon and not come back. Varis says the Sons of the Harpy take orders from someone and he’s sent his little birds to find out who.

There’s a commotion and people are running. Varis and Tyrion see a load of smoke coming from somewhere. Dany’s fleet of ships have been set on fire.

Ser Jorah is looking for Dany. Daario suggests that maybe Dany no longer wants to be queen. He asks if it’s frustrating, wanting someone who doesn’t want you back, and Jorah says yes. He checks under his sleeve and looks at where the stone disease is creeping along his arm.

Jorah finds a piece of jewelry in the grass. He says they have her.

Dany is bound and being led along by some Dothraki. Two of them talk about Dany and what they’d like to do to her. They get to the campsite and take her to their Khal.

The Khal’s wives are immediately jealous. The Khal says seeing a beautiful woman naked for the first time is one of the best things in life. He’s about to touch Dany and she talks to him in Dothraki about who she is. He starts to laugh. He tells her she is nobody and tonight he’s going to lie with her. She says she lies with no one. The Khal says he likes her and she has spirit. She says she was the wife of Khal Drogo and he asks forgiveness and says no one will touch her. He cuts off her bonds and she asks for an escort back to Meereen. He says she’s going to the place where the crones once married to Dothraki leaders live.

Arya is blind and begging for alms. The Waif throws a stick to her and tells her to stand and fight. She says she can’t see and the Waif says that’s her problem. Arya gets knocked around pretty good. The Waif says she’ll see her tomorrow. I guess Arya won’t be seeing her though. BA DUM CHH!

At Castle Black, Davos has a visit by Ser Alliser, who says he’ll grant amnesty to all of them. Davos says he’ll need food if he’s going to make it south. Alliser says surrender by nightfall, and they can take or leave the Red Woman.

The Red Woman is doing some meditating or spell casting or something. She gets nakey in front of a mirror and takes off her necklace. Argghh! She’s a shriveled up old lady! She gets into bed.

Next time, Cersei fights back, Arya fights, and Tyrion meets a dragon. Maybe.

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