Monthly Archives: May 2016

May 30, 2016 – No GH, Charm from the South & Farther South

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

No General Hospital today (sniff!). They showed a rerun of the accident where Jason saved Dante and regained some memory. At least it was a good choice.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

While Stephanie is checking out a venue for Travis’s birthday, he’s taking care of the boys. Apparently, his birthday is a huge deal that Stephanie compares to the second coming. He asks if Stephanie needs his assistant, Courtney, but Stephanie wonders if he really wants Courtney to check out what she’s doing.

Cary and Mark discuss their daughter Zuri’s third birthday coming up. Since Mark loves to shop, Cary is hoping he didn’t get her too many things. I’d say it’s a pretty good bet that he did.

Stephanie thinks a Gatsby theme is the way to go for the party. She asks Courtney to deal with the invites. Brandi suggests she give him the gift of a grave. I guess that’s for the person who has everything.

Here comes Leeanne, so look out. She’s meeting Rich for lunch. She has a motivational speech coming up with The Grace Project, for women who have HIV/AIDS. There are going to be about 600 people and Rich says he could never talk in front of that many. She says the women live in shame about their disease (which is just sad in 2016) and since she had shame over being sexually abused as a child, she wants to alleviate that for them.

Stephanie says she’s getting along with Leeanne right now, but she’s worried that if she invites her to Travis’s party, there will be drama. Leeanne and Brandi still aren’t on great terms.

Tiffany meets with Leeanne before Leeanne’s speech. She’s pretty happy about the House of Blues event going so well, and thinks that Aaron might finally call Dallas home. Leeanne says two women in their community were murdered because they came out as HIV positive. What? Don’t elaborate on that or anything.

Leeanne talks about being molested by her best friend’s father and later, her fiance trying to kill her (not Mark). She says this gave her various underserving labels, but their label needs to be “I am worthy.” She wants all of them in the light, sharing their story. Tiffany is glad Stephanie is there to see this side of Leeanne. Too bad Leeanne isn’t like this 98% of the time.

Stephanie says it’s hard being the only girl in the house, and expects a nervous breakdown by the time she’s 40. The boys suggest getting daddy “poo-poo” for his birthday. Yep, typical boys. Stephanie calls Brandi and tells her about Cruz also suggesting a poop birthday cake. Since Stephanie is poop obsessed, I’m sure she appreciates that. Stephanie tells her about Leeanne’s speech and how she saw a different side of her. She wants to invite her to Travis’s party. Brandi says with tequila, it will all be good. Why anyone drinks that stuff is beyond me.

Travis wants to know about his birthday, but Stephanie wants it to be a surprise. Stephanie says Travis likes to micro-manage her and doesn’t know where business ends and their personal life begins. She says she feels like he treats her like a child and wants him to take a step back and let her do things on her own. He gets it, and tells her about how his mother gave them lists as a child and it’s spilled over into his adult life. She says she doesn’t need added pressure because she puts enough on herself already. He says they grew up differently, but opposites attract and they’re living proof.

Brandi calls Leeanne and asks if they can meet for lunch or coffee and clear the air. She says there’s been a lot of “miscommunication,” which is what people say when they’ve called each other names.

It’s Zuri’s birthday. She’s wearing a dress that Mark bought her in Italy that’s the same design as Cary’s wedding dress. I can’t imagine what it must have cost, and think he’s probably out of his mind, since she’ll only be able to wear it for about a month.

Brandi is anxious about meeting with Leeanne. After hearing about Brandi’s brother trying to commit suicide, Leeanne says it put life in perspective. Brandi says she admires Leeanne for sharing her story and apologizes for pushing her buttons. Leeanne says she knows she has a side that isn’t pretty, but that’s not who she is. Ugh!!! I hate when people say that. If it wasn’t you, who was it? She wants to be able to hang out with Brandi and have a good time. She thinks this might be their moment to move forward. They talk about Travis’s birthday party and hug it out.

It’s shopping time. Stephanie and Brandi look for Gatsby dresses. Brandi tells Stephanie about the meeting with Leeanne. Stephanie says Brandi had better not ditch her for Leeanne. Ha-ha! Not too likely. No surprise, the dresses are amazing. Lots of glitter and feathers.

Brandi asks one of her daughters if she likes boys. She says no because they have tails. That’s a new one on me, but okay, I can roll with that.

Cary is hoping they can have a mature evening at Travis’s birthday. Cary is wearing her dress from her wedding reception and Mark is stoked.

Stephanie says she hopes Travis appreciates all the planning, and if he doesn’t, he’s an a-hole. Ha-ha! Everyone shows up looking fabulous. Tiffany says she feels an arctic wind when Cary comes in. Cary says Stephanie is being all rainbows and unicorns about everyone getting along. Lots of drinking and laughing, which is quite a change. Brandi suggests they all take a girls’ trip to Austin.

The cake comes out, decorated with sparklers. Stephanie says Travis seems genuinely happy about how his birthday turned out. Some woman talking to Travis says she’s going to be 46 soon and I choke on my coffee. It reminds me of the time I did a panel on skin care. We went around the table saying our ages. I was actually 46 at the time, and the woman next to me said she was too. You could have heard a pin drop. Either she was dyslexic and had the numbers backward, or she’d lived a really, really tough life. Like outside in the desert.

After the party, Stephanie has a surprise for Travis. She jumps out of a giant cake, singing Happy Birthday. Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder to get out of the cake than it was to get in.

Next time, an Austin road trip, Leeanne threatens Marie’s life, and Cary tells Leeanne she’s crazy.

Southern Charm

In LA, Whitney manages to annoy me just by cracking eggs into a bowl. Larissa is there already, but Shep and Craig are coming tomorrow. He tells Larissa about Craig getting Naomie a promise ring, since they’re in middle school.

Cooper and Kathryn go to the spa. She says she’s never had a facial before and I frown on Thomas not springing for a spa day for her ever. She talks about having the new baby, and says this time she and Thomas won’t be going home together. She says sometimes they get along really well, but she doesn’t want to be too hopeful. Cooper realistically tells her that Thomas is a 50-year-old playboy and highly unlikely to change. He tells her to be strengthened rather than frustrated, although I don’t know how his assessment is supposed to help with that.

Thomas and JD play some polo. Afterward, they talk about watching their kids play polo one day. Thomas tells him the baby is coming on Monday. JD thinks it’s peculiar that Kathryn moved up the due date. Hello? The doctor moved up the due date. He alludes that maybe the baby isn’t Thomas’s. He doesn’t know if he “believes in two accidents.” Well, if Thomas didn’t want a second “accident,” he should have used a preventative measure.

Craig meets Naomie for dinner. She asks if he’s going to LA. He says he wants to. He says he still believes Kathryn about Whitney, but he’s going to let it go for the sake of their friendship. JD’s bourbon launch is on Saturday, but Craig says he’ll be back by then. He says he’s already done everything JD asked him to, and he thinks all should go well. Naomie says if it doesn’t, no doubt it will be all his fault.

Landon and Cameran go to a candle-making class. Cameran asks her about the travel magazine she wants to start. She says Landon is used to being taken care of, and seems to be floundering. She asks Landon about man prospects, but there’s nothing on the horizon. Cameran wonders if she thinks something could work out with Shep, and maybe that’s why she isn’t finding anyone else. Landon says kinda sorta, and in her interview, says that she has with Shep what she didn’t have in her marriage. Cameran says she should figure out a way to make it happen. Um…no, don’t do this.

Shep and Craig get to Whitney’s house in LA. Whitney acts like a bit of an asshat, ignoring Craig for the most part. Eww! They’re drinking Coors, the weewee of beers. Whitney says Craig has taken on a persona that’s “less amusing” than he was. Craig apologizes and Whitney is so dense, he can’t even figure out why Craig would care about Kathryn. Whitney accepts the apology, but in his interview says that he’s leery of trusting him now. Larissa arises from her jet lag nap and they all go out to a party. Whitney says Shep’s Southern goofiness works in Charleston, but not so much in LA.

That’s okay, Shep drank too much tequila to score anyway.

JD goes over the list for the whiskey event at the Charleston Cup. His assistant says that she and Craig went over some things, but she can’t seem to hunt him down. JD says Craig has wanted to be more involved with the bourbon, and it’s a perfect opportunity, but now he can’t be found. Craig’s voicemail is full, so JD leaves a message on Shep’s phone. Shep passes along the info and wonders how he got involved. Craig says he’s going back the next day and he just does grunt work for JD anyway. Craig wants to go for a massage and Shep wonders what happened to just getting drunk and laughing your balls off.

Thomas and Kathryn meet for lunch. Thomas tells her she’s getting to be an expert at the baby thing. He says he senses fear and she says a little, since she’s going to be alone this time. Thomas says he can see she’s nervous and overwhelmed, and he wants to be there for her.

Back in LA, the masseuse arrives. She talks about connecting with herself and Shep rolls his eyes. They talk about energy transference, but I think Shep is really flirting. He asks Craig how the trip went for him and says he appreciates him not bugging Whitney since he went out on a limb for him. He flirts some more with the masseuse.

It’s time for the Charleston Cup, but no Craig. That’s because he’s still in bed. Landon calls Shep to see if he’s coming, but his grandfather passed away and he has to go to Alabama. He says his grandfather lived a wonderful life to the age of 94 and it will be more of a celebration of his life than a funeral.

JD complains to Cameran that he had to do everything himself because Craig is late. Actually, Craig isn’t sounding too good. He has a sinus infection and he’s coughing and hacking like crazy. Danni gives us the information that a few years ago, there were only five whiskey distilleries in the US and now there are 700. There’s only one for me. It’s called Wild Turkey. When they arrive, JD whines some more.

Everyone complains about how cold it is, which is a first since I’ve been watching this show. It’s usually a million degrees there. JD makes a speech and thanks everyone except Craig. I don’t blame Craig for getting lackadaisical with JD. He’s not exactly the most encouraging guy on the planet. He talks to Craig during the match or race or whatever the blip it is. Craig says he’d thought he had everything in place. In his interview, he says he feels like JD has taken advantage of him and working with him wasn’t going to be his forever, just a way to get back in Charleston.

Thomas asks Kathryn if she wants him to spend the night, but she says just picking her up in the morning will be fine. Thomas says he’s always wanted a big, traditional family and a house filled with laughter. He says he still loves and cares for Kathryn, but doesn’t think it will ever work. She asks how he’s feeling about tomorrow, and he says a little scared and apprehensive. She says she thinks they’re doing a good job of being friends right now. He says he’ll be there for her, and it’s probably the first time I’ve actually liked him.

It’s time to go to the hospital. Fastest delivery ever. And quite a tiny baby. Thomas talks about Stephen Spielberg saying his greatest creation was his children. He tells the baby not to make the same dumb mistakes he did.

Next time, Cameran is worried about not wanting children, the new baby comes home, Craig gets called out on not taking the bar exam, Landon confesses that she might love Shep and Shep does not look thrilled.

Advertisements

May 30, 2016 – Game of Thrones, the Dead Don’t Rest

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Our regularly scheduled programming has been interrupted by Memorial Day weekend.

Game of Thrones

Meera drags Bran through the forest, while Bran has visions of his past visions. Finally, Bran comes to and says, “They found us.” Yes, they did. But someone is on their side (maybe) and a guy on a horse bumps off the White Walkers. He tells them the dead don’t rest and they need to come with him.

Gilly, Sam and Little Sam are taking a carriage to Sam’s hometown. He says he didn’t think he’d ever come back again and coaches her on what to tell his parents. She’s to say the baby is his, so they’ll be taken in. Sam also tells her that his father hates Wildings.

Sam’s mother and sister greet them, and he introduces Gilly and Little Sam. Sam asks about his father and brother. Lady Tarly says they’re on a hunt.

Tommen asks the High Sparrow if there isn’t another way for Margaery other than the walk of shame. He says she’ll be fine and that he’s pleased with how open she was to him. He lets Tommen in to see her. They hug and Tommen asks if she’s been mistreated. She says no and he says he’s missed her. She says they’ll be together soon and things will be better than before. She asks if he’s talked to the High Sparrow and says he’s not what they thought he was. At first we think she means the High Sparrow is an idiot, but it’s the opposite – she says he’s helped her tremendously. Tommen is shocked and says she’s the nicest person he knows. She says she was good at acting good. He asks about her brother. Margaery says she loves Loras, but he needs to atone as they all do.

Gilly cleans up well and Sam tells her she’s beautiful. They sit down to dinner and Gilly watches what everyone else does in order to know which piece of cutlery to use. Sam says the venison is good and they talk hunting. Gilly says her father taught her to hunt and Sam’s sister says that their father could learn a thing or two from him. Lord Tarly is not too pleased.

Lord Tarly complains that even after being in the Night’s Watch, Sam is still soft and fat. Lady Tarly says being maester is no small thing. Gilly tells them that Sam is tough and he even killed a White Walker. Lord Tarly puts two and two together and realizes that Gilly is a Wilding. He points out a sword over the mantle and says it’s been in the family for generations. It’s supposed to go to his eldest son when he dies, but he says Sam will never get it. He asks if this is Sam’s way of getting back at him, bringing that into his house. Lady Tarly gets up from the table, tells Lord Tarly off, and leaves the room with Gilly. Sam’s father tells Sam he’ll take them in, but Sam will never darken his door again. That went downhill fast.

Sam apologizes to Gilly, but she says she’s not mad at him. She kisses him and tells him he’s not what his father says he is. He has to leave in the morning and tells her good-by. She’s about to tuck Little Sam in, when Sam bursts back into the room and says they’re leaving now and they belong together. He takes the family sword.

Arya is back at the theatre watching the play about the Lannisters. When the actors are about to exit, Arya goes backstage and slips the poison into Lady Crane’s booze. When everyone gets back to the dressing room, Lady Crane asks Arya what she’s doing there and how many times she’s seen the play. She assumes Arya is interested in being an actress and tells her that when she was younger, she snuck into the theatre and eventually joined the troupe. Arya says she’s very good, but Lady Crane says her final speech stinks and asks Arya how she would change it. Arya tells her that after Joffrey’s death, Cersei would have been more angry and not so much crying. She says her father is waiting for her and she has to go.

The actors make actor chit-chat. Lady Crane is about to sip her drink and Arya scares the crap out of me when she flies back in and knocks the glass out of Lady Crane’s hand. She tells Lady Crane to be careful of one of the other actresses and that the actress wants her dead. Afterward, Arya takes Needle from its hiding place.

The Waif tells Jaqen, who is in the process of removing a face, that Arya is done. He says it’s a shame since she had a lot of talents. The Waif says Jaqen promised her that she could deal with Arya. He says not to let her suffer. Geez, thug life in Braavos.

Jaime gathers Mace and the troops. They’re going to take back their city from the High Sparrow. The High Sparrow is giving a public speech about Margaery’s disgrace, when Jaime and company come marching in. Jaime says sorry to interrupt, but they’re here for Margaery and Loras. The Sparrow says he doesn’t have the authority to give them up and Jaime doesn’t have the authority to take them.

Jaime rides his horse up the steps, which is pretty cool. He says he’s there under King Tommen’s authority and he’ll kill every one of them before Margaery takes a walk of shame. The Sparrow says that’s not necessary and that Margaery has already atoned for her sins by bringing another into the fold. Tommen walks out. The Sparrow announces an alliance between the crown and the faith. Tommen says together they will restore the Seven Kingdoms to glory. I’m not sure if I buy this or not, but then Olenna says the Sparrow has beaten them, so I guess she buys it.

Tommen tells Jaime he’s not fit to be in charge of the King’s Guard. Jaime asks if he’s going to be imprisoned. Tommen says he’ll still serve his king, but not in this city.

Walder Frey chastises his men for Riverrun being taken over by the Blackfish. He says they’re being laughed at all the way to King’s Landing. He says he’s not leaving this world until they choke on that laughter. One of the men says the Blackfish will never yield, but Walder says to show him the knife that Robb’s wife was killed with. He brings out Lord Edmure and tells him that he’s going home.

Cersei tells Jaime being in charge of an army somewhere else is better than being in a dungeon. Jaime threatens to kill the High Sparrow, but Cersei says if he does, than everything they’ve worked for goes down the toilet. She tells him he needs to take Riverrun back. Talk of war gets them hot and they start making out.

Meera asks why the guy on the horse helped them. He says the Three-Eyed Raven sent for him. She says he’s dead and the guy says he lives again. He says the last time he saw Bran, he was a boy. Bran asks who he is, and the guy removes his hood. It’s Bran’s Uncle Benjen! (I think we all saw this coming.) Benjen says he was stabbed by a sword of ice, but the Forest Children brought him back with a dragonglass sword. He is going to help Bran be the next Three-Eyed-Raven.

Dany asks Daario how many ships she’s going to need. He says a lot and asks what they’re going to do when they get to Westeros. She says she’s taking back what’s hers. She tells him to wait and rides off on her horse. Her army gets bored quickly and Daario says he’s going after her.

No need. She’s back. Riding on Drogon. He lands and makes dragon noises. Dany gives a pep talk to her troops, telling them how she chose them and how they’re going to get the Seven Kingdoms back that Khal Drago promised her. Everyone gets very jazzed..

Drogon spreads his dragon wings and gets all fierce.

Next time, Olenna meets with Cersei, Tormund pledges his allegiance to Jon, and Davos says the dead are coming.

May 27, 2016 – Good-by to the Nurses Ball & the Couches

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Curtis reminds Nicholas that he tried to kill Hayden once before and says maybe he wants to finish the job. Hayden adds, especially since Nicholas saw her with the police commissioner.

Robin asks if there’s anything Griff can’t do and Anna says she thought he couldn’t dance. That’s right, she gave him a tango lesson. That is totally different from break dancing though.

Sam goes to look for Lucas. Jason asks Carly where Michael is, and tells her about the ELQ assets being frozen. She says he’s out of town with Sonny. Jason wants to try and fix it before it becomes a bigger problem, and asks her not to say anything to Michael. Sonny, Michael and Morgan show up at the ball.

Bobbie sees Lucas on the floor next to her hospital bed.

Lucy says they have time to kill and asks if anyone would like to do an impromptu performance. No. So she asks to play an audience participation game called has anyone seen Lucas? Amy remembers that she was supposed to tell them he was at the hospital with Bobbie.

Finn puts a syringe away. Quick change artist Griff is already back at the hospital and while he’s talking to Finn, they hear Bobbie yell for help.

Lucy wants Epiphany to do something and she says magnificence takes time and her act can’t be rushed. Lucy grabs Kiki and Dillon. Kiki says it was supposed to be later, but Lucy says an empty stage means people who contribute money aren’t being entertained.

Hayden says Jordan shut her down. Nicholas asks her to come home and he’ll give her the diamonds. Curtis tells her not to go. He says she won’t get the diamonds unless she pries them from Nicholas’s cold, dead hand. Nicholas says he’s giving her a one time offer. She says if he’s leaving now, she’s not going.

Lucy introduces Kiki and Dillon. They do Shawn Mendes’s Stitches. Not bad. It looks like they make a connection while they’re singing.

Brad wonders why Lucas didn’t text him. He thinks Lucas got cold feet, but Felix doesn’t think so.

Griff tries to get Lucas’s heart started. Bobbie says he’s diabetic and wonders if that has anything to do with it. Lucas’s phone rings. It’s Brad. Bobbie picks it up and tells him to get to the hospital, but don’t alarm anyone about Lucas. Brad tells Felix that Lucas had a hospital emergency. He says Lucas is on break and he’s going to see him. Nice lying without technically lying. Brad has had a lot of practice at that.

Lucy is wearing the most fabulous outfit ever – a white lace, backless dress with bell sleeves and mermaid hem (lots of those this year) and the earrings are wow. She’s changed about four times already.

Sonny tells Dante about Sabrrrina.

Nina tells Kiki and Dillon they make her believe she can fall in love again. Dillon wonders why everyone thinks they’re a couple. He says Morgan is a fool for letting Kiki go. They kiss. Saw that coming miles away. Morgan walks in. No surprise there either, but dude, you told her to move on.

Michael asks Morgan if everything is okay. Morgan says it’s just hard to adjust. Carly thanks Andre for everything he’s done for Morgan and Andre says Morgan is almost ready to be discharged.

Robin talks to Sonny. Jason joins them. Robin says the Nurses Ball has always been about remembrances, but also being thankful for what they have.

Lucy takes the stage and explains why the ball is named after the nurses, and talks about how they’re the backbone of everything and have to take doctors’ orders. Dante’s phone rings. It’s Lulu on stage. Milo gets a call from Epiphany on stage. The girls sing Doctor’s Orders, with Epiphany leading. Lulu does a bit of a solo dance. They do those Supremes hand moves that I love.

Nicholas photographs the diamonds and texts Hayden saying they can come to an agreement. A storm comes up outside. Thunder and lightening starts happening.

Brad gets to the hospital where Griff is working on Lucas. They use the defibrillator.

Morgan says he feels a little overwhelmed, so he’s going to take off. Sonny says he’ll take him back and Carly says she’d like to come too.

Finally, Lucas has a heartbeat. Bobbie says she has no idea what happened. All of a sudden his heart just stopped beating. Damn. Even I was nervous for a minute.

Nicholas waits for Hayden at Windemere. Curtis asks Hayden where she’s headed. She says if Nicholas hasn’t killed her by now, he’s not going to. Curtis says she hadn’t crossed the line before, but Nicholas knows she talked to Jordan. She says it worked, and Curtis says he’s tired of saving her from herself.

Sam tells Jason she doesn’t want Franco to ruin his night. He says it’s not that, it’s the lawsuit. Michael joins them and Sam excuses herself. Michael says he wants to make Jason proud with his work at ELQ. D’oh!

Carly and Sonny discuss Morgan. Sonny tells her how great she looks and Carly claims she looks younger because of the Aveeno stuff in her gift bag. Nice plug.

Lucy introduces Robin. She’s like the person who explains the Academy Award system every year during the Oscars. She talks about a new medication that can prevent HIV, but there has been a rise in infection among young, gay men of “low means,” meaning poor or homeless. She talks about Stone, who died 21 years ago. She says she expects to live to see the day we conquer HIV/AIDS and the whole thing makes me cry.

Amy wants to do a song with Felix, but Epiphany says Sabrrrina owned the song. She’s like, okay, I’ll go solo and grabs the mic from Lucy to sing. Sabrrrina comes out and sings You’re Not Alone with her. As they sing, Sabrrrina goes down to the audience and hugs her friends. Epiphany joins them on stage. Where’s Obrecht? I need some comic relief here. I also think they could fill the room better. It doesn’t look like a whole lot of people are at the ball. It’s a junior high dance level crowd.

As they sing, we see Lucas, wearing a breathing tube, surrounded by Bobbie, Griff and Brad. Brad tells him to wake up. Finn enters the room. Griff says Lucas is hanging on and it seems like there’s an injection site on his neck. He asks Finn if he injected him with anything.

Jason walks into Windemere looking for Nicholas. He wants to talk.

Lucy plugs Aveeno and thanks everyone. Felix comes out to give her roses. She says it’s a new beginning – no one saw her panties. What?! Do we still have a minute?

Carly and Sonny get romantic.

Anna tells Robin it’s the first time she actually saw her speech. Michael tells Sabrrrina she brought the house down, after which Jordan arrests her.

Finn is like, how dare you? but Griff says he had to ask. Brad brings up the unexplained deaths at GH. Bobbie wonders if there’s a connection and Griff says it’s worth investigating.

Curtis makes Hayden promise she won’t go to Windemere before talking to the police. Sam enters Windemere. She hears a crash. Nicholas lies on the rocks below the window.

Tomorrow, Tracy hears about Sabrrrina, Carly tells Sonny about the video, and Nicholas lies unconscious or dead.

General Hospital – Friday

Tracy tells Baby Edward that she didn’t miss not going to the Nurses Ball. She shows him the pictures of Edward and Lila, and I tell her not to get me crying in the first second of the show. Dillon walks in and tells her she looks happy.

Michael tells Jordan it would be a mistake to arrest Sabrrrina. Sabrrrina tells him not to fight for her; she deserves to be arrested. He says she was a victim of Carrrlos too. Jordan says sorry, she helped Carrrlos out. Michael begs Jordan to let Sabrrrina see her son first.

Anna introduces Robin to Andre. Paul pulls Anna aside. He gives her something in an envelope. The charges against her are officially dropped. Andre and Robin chat. He excuses himself to find Jordan. Anna thanks Paul, but tells him there will never be anything between them. Ava grabs Paul. Robin asks Anna if she heard right, that Anna tried to kill Carrrlos.

Carly tells Sonny about getting Ava to back off. She tells him about the subverted furniture delivery and goes on to explain about the flash drive. Except she lies like a rug, saying she tore the place apart. She did not. She found it on the first shot.

Hayden tells Curtis he was correct in telling her to stay away from Windemere. She’s going to stay at the hotel.

Sam walks into Windemere, and sees Jason by a broken window. She asks where Nicholas is, and he tells her “down there,” where Nicholas lies unconscious (or dead?) on the rocks. Jason says he doesn’t know what happened and to call 911.

Dillon tells Tracy he’s on her side and she deserves some happiness. He says he hopes she isn’t going to be disappointed when she has to give up the baby. Tracy says she has an army of lawyers and no one is taking this poor orphaned child away from her. Dillon tells her that Michael found Sabrrrina.

Curtis says as soon as he turns his back, Hayden is going to be looking for the diamonds. She swears she’s not going back tonight. Curtis says that’s not true and he’ll go with her. Hayden says he’ll ruin any chances of her striking a deal with Nicholas. He says tonight, he’s her shadow.

Jason gets into the water to get to Nicholas. Sam picks up a cuff-link among the rocks, no doubt belonging to Nicholas.

Anna tells Robin the Carrrlos story. She says all her training and principles went out the window, and she shot him, but it was a set-up. Robin asks why she didn’t say something sooner. Anna says it was her mess and she wanted to clean it up herself. Robin tells her there’s such a thing as being too independent and she’s punished herself enough. It’s time to start healing.

Carly and Sonny gloat. Carly talks about losing her iPhone, but this gets me thinking that if Ava kept it, she might be able to delete that video from the cloud.

Ava tells Paul she’s not giving in to Carly’s demands because of him. He says what good is getting Avery back if she goes to prison. He says if the video gets out, he’ll make sure her confession goes public. Apparently, Ava wasn’t smart enough to get that phone, but even so, if Paul outs her for Connie’s murder, isn’t he going to implicate himself in some way? I tell myself not to think too hard here.

Anna tells Robin that Julian got off and there’s never any punishment for him. She says one way or another, she’ll get him to trial, even if it’s for murdering Carrrlos. Robin says nothing will bring Duke back, but Anna says maybe the closure will give her peace. Robin says peace doesn’t come from revenge, but living the best life you can. I refrain from making any jokes about her living in Berkeley.

Andre asks Jordan for a minute, but she asks if it can wait. He says he wants to spend the end of the night with her and she says ditto. Jordan asks Sabrrrina about the baby. Sabrrrina says she was just hoping for one night with the baby and she was going to turn herself in.

Dillon gives Tracy a note that Sabrrrina left earlier that night. It says she’s coming back later.

Jason can’t get to Nicholas. Sam says the police are coming. Hayden and Curtis arrive and see the mess. Hayden looks out the broken window, but doesn’t see anything. Sam and Jason come back to the house. Sam explains what they found and that they think the current took Nicholas away. Sam gives Hayden the cuff-link.

Sam and Jason go to wait for the police. Hayden sniffles over the cuff-link and Curtis asks if the tears are real. She says she did love him, but she needs to look for those diamonds before the cops get there. Ha-ha!

Carly tells Sonny the Avery battle is over and she’s thrilled. She says Avery is always going to be safe and happy. In Port Charles? She’s got to be kidding.

Ava tells Paul there will be an investigation and no doubt he has more secrets that will cause a worse scandal that them in bed together. She says his best bet is to ride it out.

Tracy tells Dillon that Sabrrrina won’t be coming back tonight. She says that it’s a safe bet she’s already in custody since Jordan attended the Nurses Ball.

Jordan says Sabrrrina is a flight risk and she can’t allow it. Michael says he’ll take full responsibility, but Jordan doesn’t want to take the chance. Michael says he knows Jordan was away from TJ for a long time, and he plays the mom card.

Robin says it would have been easy for her to lose hope when she was being held captive, but because of Anna, she didn’t. She tells Anna she’ll get past the anger, hurt and need to be vengeful. She needs to say good-by to all of that and to Duke. Anna tells Robin about the vision she had when she was stuck in the meat locker. She says he vanished before she could say good-by, and Robin says that’s probably because she wasn’t ready to.

Robin leaves, and tango music begins. Duke asks for the pleasure of this dance, but Anna says she has to say good-by. He says he’s glad to hear that and he loves her. He asks for one last dance and she says she’d love to.

Ava says she’ll take Paul down with her. He says he has an impeccable record of beating the odds. He tells her that he has the leverage he needs to keep her in line. He says if she lets the video go public, she’ll wish she had stayed dead.

Sam wonders if the police will think Jason had something to do with it, especially since they had that fistfight not that long ago. He wants to call Diane, but Sam says if he does that right now, he’ll look guilty. Can’t please her. Hayden walks in and Sam stupidly asks her if she and Nicholas had a fight. Hayden tells her not to be ridiculous and accuses Jason of pushing Nicholas out the window.

Sabrrrina and Michael arrive at the Quartermaines. Tracy tells her not to touch the baby.

Jordan tells Andre she’s officially done with work. Not quite. Her phone rings. It’s Curtis. She answers and says she’s on her way.

Anna starts to say what she wishes, but Duke stops her and says to save her wishes for someone else. He tells her to move on with her new life and bids her good-by. She tangos away from him and he’s gone. Anna stands alone on an empty stage. Robin asks if she’s ready to go and she says yes. Nice scene.

Paul texts Ava. She better hang on to that text, since it’s basically blackmail.

Carly tells Sonny she’s going to take a bath and will meet him in bed. The doorbell rings. It’s Ava. she says she’s there for Avery.

On Monday. Sonny tells Ava to get out, Hayden tells the police that Nicholas was pushed, and Tracy tells Sabrrrina that she’s the baby’s legal guardian.

The People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

I feel vindicated, since the Couches had the same reaction I did about the Whitney/Kathryn thing on Southern Charm. It’s obvious by the look on Whitney’s face alone that Craig hit a nerve and hit on the truth.

This is better than a Real Housewives reunion. Scott, referring to the argument between Craig and Whitney on Southern Charm.

God help her if she ever goes to your house. Brandy to Julie, referring to Patricia’s reaction to Whitney’s loft on Southern Charm.

You know she slept with that guy on The Bachelor. She didn’t get to the final holding his hand. Teddi, referring to The Bachelorette.

There’s always somebody who looks like Weird Al Yankovic. Blake, referring to the singing competition, Eurovision.

Everything he sees is the worst thing he’s ever seen. Emerson, referring to Gordon Ramsey on Motel Hell. Truth!

This was the season finale <sob!>. Hope they keep the same Couches next time around.

May 25, 2016 – Nurses Ball Two & Three Times the NYC

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

So cute! Emma and Ned..er…Eddie Maine start off with Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart. Did they practice over the phone? Lucy gives a speech about the Quartermaines and Scorpios, and how they give their time, talent, and treasure for good. She claims there will be no stage crashing tonight and that problem is solved.

Epiphany finds Obrecht tied up and gagged in a bathroom stall. “Untie me at once…please?” Obrecht says. Hahahaha! Epiphany asks what she’s wearing and Obrecht says it’s a costume. Epiphany tells her she’s not performing this year, but I think that’s up for debate now.

Carly says Ava’s ass is hers.

Laura runs into Doc.She doesn’t have a ticket, but Doc has two. Amazing! She wonders if they missed much and he says whatever’s happened already will most likely not be as crazy as what’s ahead. Undoubtedly.

Lucy plugs Aveeno, who is their sponsor this year, an tells everyone to mingle in between acts, which is totally weird.

Hayden wants to talk to Jordan who tells her to make an appointment. Nicholas whisks her away.

Lucas finds Bobbie passed out backstage. She comes to and he wants to take her to the hospital, but she refuses. He refuses to take her refusal and says, let’s go.

Carly catches Ava in the bathroom. She says Ava is going to give up sole custody of Avery. Ava tells her she’s drunk or delusional. She says she’s going back to the party, and Carly says the party is in her phone. It’s not the confession she wanted, but a video of Paul and Ava in a bondage scene. Although, I’m not sure how this could really be held against Ava, since they’re both single, consenting adults, and it’s not like Avery was in the room. Ava says Carly broke into her home. Carly says she’ll post the video online if Ava doesn’t give her what she wants. Ava tells her to loosen up and leaves. Well, that backfired.

Franco asks Jake how he feels about making his debut. Jake says he has butterflies and Franco tells him to imagine the audience is quacking ducks. Jason isn’t happy about Franco being around Jake. Sam says the more he remembers the more he’ll hate Franco, and Jason says he already does.

Lucy continues to try and talk Griff into being in the show. She asks Epiphany if she’s seen Lucas, but she hasn’t. Lucas grabs Amy and tells her to tell Brad not to worry; he has to take Bobbie to the hospital. Lucy asks Jake to go on early.

Finn sees Obrecht back at the hospital and says he thought she was attending the ball. She says she did too, and I’m surprised she gave up that easy.

Jake goes on and freezes. Elizabeth tells him he can do this. Franco gets on stage and tells him, “Quack,” and they quack back and forth. Franco plays percussion while Jake sings. Franco helps him with the chorus too, and Nina gets verklempt.

Lucas wheels Bobbie into the hospital. Finn tells her she has vertigo. (Me too.) Lucas wants to postpone the wedding, but Bobbie tells him to go.

Carly sends the video to Paul and tells him to make Ava get in line. He grabs Ava and tells her to make it go away. She says a little sex scandal never hurt anyone. He says he could lose his job and he still has the confession. He tells her to do what Carly wants.

It’s Magic Milo and His Magic Wands! Curtis, Griff, Dillon and Felix also participate. For Griff suddenly getting pulled in at the last minute, he knows all the steps. Was he a dancer before he was a priest? I think so, since he can break dance like a pro. I applaud when their butts spell out Nurses Ball.

Ava slaps the phone out of Carly’s hand, but she still has the flash drive. Ava takes her shoes off . She and Carly wrestle. They must have laughed like crazy practicing this scene.

Obrecht asks why Finn was drummed out of his last job. He says he quit. She asks what he’s hiding and he says wouldn’t she like to know.

Nicholas drags Hayden away from Jordan again. Curtis sees it and thinks maybe he should say something. Valerie tells him to go; he can make it up to her later. Curtis finds them out in the hall and tells Nicholas to let Hayden go.

Someone is injecting Bobbie with something in the dark, but Lucas comes back into the room and asks what’s going on.

Jason wants to stop Elizabeth from hanging around Franco. Diane comes in and tells him he’s being sued. She says the money he used to get the ELQ stock came from organized crime. The IRS has frozen ELQ’s assets.

Ava gets the flash drive and flushes it down the toilet. Carly tells her it’s in the cloud and she’s about to lose custody of Avery.

Uh-oh, it’s time for the wedding and Lucas isn’t back yet. And stupid Amy never gave Brad the message. This is going to look like Lucas stood Brad up.

Lucas is unconscious beside Bobbie’s bed.

…to be continued.

Little Women NY

It’s time to clean up the camp, but Jazmin has to get something off her chest. She whips out a video of Katie and Jess having a cigarette. Lila makes mention of Katie taking a long drag. Yeah, that’s because she probably doesn’t have one too often. She also says something about Katie’s belly being tiny and relating that to cigarettes and low birth weight. For the love of all that’s holy, I can’t believe this girl took a video and involved the entire group when she has no idea about anything. If you’re so concerned, how about just taking Katie to the side and asking her about it? I swear, I’d smoke just to spite them. this bunch is nosier than the Housewives.

PJ comes to the city. Jess isn’t thrilled to find him in the apartment when she just wants to unwind after the camping trip. Katie realizes Jess isn’t happy, but says she needs all the help she can get since it’s getting close to baby time. They’re also getting evicted because the landlord found out about Jess’s dog. Nice welcome home.

Dawn is still pissed about the fight she and Lila got into. They meet for tea and Lila apologizes, saying she needs to be mindful that Dawn is a person with feelings. Maybe if Dawn acted like a human more often, she wouldn’t forget. Dawn says she ended up talking with Jazmin at the campsite and thinks they’ve resolved things. She also wants to talk to David, since apparently they have unresolved issues.

The gang is inviting Katie and Jess to Dawn’s place for a barbecue that’s really an intervention. Since Lila has been the object of one herself, she tells everyone several scenarios can happen. They role play. Lila says, as Katie already feels judged, she might not believe it’s coming from a good place. While I realize they are coming from a good place, I’m not down with this for that exact reason. They have picked on this girl mercilessly since day one. They’re probably the reason she’s smoking.

Lila says if it doesn’t seem genuine, and just seems critical, it’s not going to go well. When Jazmin asks what’s the worst hat can happen, Lila says Katie could fire up a cigarette and say f-u, and I laugh. At least she knows what she might be in for. Katie and Jess arrive and Jess tells the gang about how she came home to PJ. I’d be a lot angrier about the dog than him.

Jazmin jumps right in and asks if she’s smoking. Katie says once in a while when she’s stressed, she takes a drag. Katie says her doctor told her not to cut it cold turkey, she weaned herself down, and she’s not a serious smoker anymore. Jazmin says she’s around Jess smoking too. Katie says her mother has lectured her, but it helps with her stress. Lila says she’s an addict and she’s bigger than cigarettes and to not let them control her. It all seems much more dramatic than it should be. Lila tells Katie about her father dying from lung disease. Katie says after the baby is born, she’s going to quit. Dawn chimes in that the baby is inhaling cigarettes now. Jazmin tells Jess she shouldn’t be an enabler. Jess says they shouldn’t attack Katie like that, and they’re not acting in a way that she would feel she could trust them. In her interview, Jess says Jazmin should have just taken them aside. At least she didn’t pull out the video.

Katie says she’s feeling crampy and uncomfortable and decides to leave. Lila asks for her cigarettes, but she doesn’t have any. So how much of a smoker can she be? She actually shows Lila her purse. Lila asks Jess for hers – seriously? – but that’s a no. These idiots just crashed and burned with their own good intentions.

When they get back to the apartment, Katie and Jess tell PJ about the intervention. Katie says the baby has been healthy throughout the pregnancy and she felt judged. Katie says not once did they ask what kind of stress she’s under or how they can help. Good point. In her interview, Jess says she bit her tongue this afternoon, but when she sees them all again, she can’t promise anything.

Jason’s father is a vet and Jess is bringing her dog for a free check-up. Because, free check-up. He asks how Katie is doing and Jess says she wasn’t happy with how things were done and she isn’t happy either. Jason says they were coming from a place of concern, but Jess says it didn’t look that way. Jason intimates that Jess has never said anything to Katie about smoking and Jess says he has no idea what she’s said to Katie and she’s not going to ride her ass.

Pup ChiChi has a cough, so of course Jason has to make a joke about smoking. Jess is like, don’t get too familiar. Jason’s father says ChiChi checks out, so just give it time. Jason says he’s trying to get out of the city a bit and asks if Jess and Katie would like to come pumpkin picking with the group. She’s not committing until she talks to Katie.

David arrives. He’s been working out of town. Jazmin tells him that she and Dawn mended fences, which makes him happy, although he wonders how long it will last. She tells him about the pumpkin picking event. She says she won’t bring up the smoking thing again, but feels like she should have been more aggressive. Geez, I guess it wasn’t enough that they basically drove Katie away.

Jess and Katie find a new apartment. Jess says good thing it’s bigger, since they have to fit three adults, a baby and a dog. She says the gang is feeling good about themselves and they left feeling like crap. She thinks Jason and Jazmin were coming from a good place, but not so much the others. She tells PJ and Katie about the pumpkin thing. She says they should go, so it doesn’t look like “they won.” PJ says just go and have a good time, and if they have something to say, they’ll hear what he has to say. Katie says that’s what she’s afraid of. Ha-ha!

It’s pumpkin festival time! Katie introduces PJ to the group. Jazmin is hoping he puts a ring on it, since he followed Katie all the way to NYC. The last time Dawn saw David, they had a huge fight, so she asks if they’re good. David says she puts him in an awkward position when she fights with Jazmin, but she feels she and Jazmin are in a good place now. She still has some issues with David, and invites him to have family time.

Katie picks up a small pumpkin, and several of the others immediately get on her case. They also think PJ should have stopped her. They do some kind of weird panning for gold thing and Lila asks if PJ might find an engagement ring. The others wonder why Katie looks stressed. Really? Lila wonders if PJ is causing her stress. No, it’s you. She and Dawn want answers. Who the blip do they think they are> Scotland Yard? OMG – Lila asks PJ what makes a eight month pregnant woman leave her baby’s father? How freaking nosy can you get?

Lila says PJ is all talk and no substance. I fail to see how she could deduce that after meeting him for five minutes. Jess asks the group if they feel that they handled the intervention correctly. She grills Jazmin as to whether she asked Katie personally about it first. Of course not. Jess thinks it wasn’t necessary to go to such an extreme. She and Jazmin argue. The whole thing makes Katie want a cigarette. Dawn says she’s sorry they put her on the spot, but they wanted to make sure Katie knew the score. Then they get on PJ’s case for letting Katie pick up the pumpkin. Jess asks why they think their opinion matters. Dawn says they’re arguing whether or not a pregnant woman should smoke, so I guess she’s in a different argument. PJ thinks if atie has half a cigarette, she’s doing well, and that pisses Dawn off more.

Katie goes to sit down and Jess talks to her. The group tries to get in on that, and Jess tells them to go away. Katie is cramping because she’s stressed out. Jason wanted to have a nice day out, but obviously, that’s not happening.

Two minutes from now, strip club time, Dawn and David argue, and Katie has a baby shower.

Little Women NY

I have no clue why they’re having back-to-back episodes tonight and destroying my TV viewing time frame.

PJ and Katie are doing a pregnancy photo shoot. During a break, Jess talks to Katie about a baby shower guest list. Katie is okay with everyone except Lila. Jess agrees that she’s a mean girl, but is also a little person with insecurity issues. Jess is adamant about not wanting her there.

Dawn visits Katie who wonders why she’s there. ChiChi makes a weewee, and Dawn acts like it’s unheard of. Dawn apologizes for the pumpkin patch debacle. Katie says she’s stressed about not being prepared for the baby and Dawn thinks that should be the father’s department. He just got there, for goodness’ sake. Katie invites her to the shower, although I don’t know why. I’d leave that one off the list too.

Jess meets Jazmin and Jason for lunch to plan the shower. Jess says she has no hard feelings, but isn’t feeling it with Dawn and Lila. Black and pink are the colors and butterflies are wanted. She tells them Lila is a no as a guest. Jazmin thinks that’s a bad idea. Too bad. Jess says it’s Katie’s day and that’s what she wants.

Dawn and Lila go shopping. Dawn talks to Lila about Katie. She says Katie’s house is filthy. What? They just moved in and it actually looked pretty together to me. Dawn talks about the shower and says she got an invite. Lila says she wants to be there for Katie, and says she wants to come along. Even though she’s not invited. Again, what is with these people? News flash, don’t ever show up to a party you’re not invited to. It’s that simple. And how dare she stress this poor pregnant woman even more?

Commercial break. Ha-ha! It’s for Nicorette. And then Haagan-Daas. Which you’ll want in place of that cigarette.

Katie has gone to her check-up. She’s been given the option to have the baby in five days or two weeks. She wants to hold out as long as possible and PJ says to let the doctor do his job. She wants to be able to bring the baby straight home, but they weren’t able to get an ultrasound and she doesn’t know the baby’s weight.

David goes to Dawn’s place. They have snacks and make small talk. She says she misses him. He says ditto, but it’s not like they spend so much time together that they’re close. Dawn says part of her holds resentment that their mother was battling cancer for two years and she was by herself dealing with it. She whines that she’s always alone and David asks if she’s ever considered why that is.

He asks where she was when he got thrown out and was living on the street. She says that was their mother’s decision and he says he’d lost a job and was homeless for five years. She acts like an asshat and he says he’s done, have a nice life, and leaves.

Dawn calls Lila to come over. She tells Lila what happened. I guess it was okay for her to criticize him, but he wasn’t allowed to do the same. Lila tries to explain that David was abandoned. She wants Dawn to understand where he’s coming from. Dawn sobs that this is what she gets for showing vulnerability. Lila says she often has trouble seeing someone else’s viewpoint. Ya think? Dawn says he should be understanding of her. She says she feels isolated and Lila says she has to move forward, and that family is everything. Dawn says if family is everything, why did David walk out? Lila has no answer.

Jazmin asks David what happened. David tells her about Dawn saying he wasn’t there when their mother was going through treatment. Jazmin says Dawn plays the pity card a lot, but won’t own up to her own stuff. He says he’s finally at peace with both his parents passing, but Dawn still has issues. IMO, she’s a walking issue. The poster child for issues.

Jess and Jazmin take Jason to a gay bar. Jazmin says he barely goes out since he started dating DJ. Jason asks why he’s there and Jazmin says to have fun. In his interview, he says he’s not married, but not single either, and isn’t sure how to deal with that. It’s not exactly a strip club, but there are guys in underwear running about and dancing with the patrons. They do more shots than my entire neighborhood bar on karaoke night. Someone sends a lemon drop over to Jason. He says he’s never had a stranger buy him a drink before. The guy slips Jason his number.

Jason wakes up with a puppy in his face and a hangover, hoping he didn’t embarrass himself. Jazmin shows him the number he garnered. He wonders if he should tell DJ, since their relationship is already strained with DJ living in another state. Jazmin thinks she should tell him. I’m on the fence. It’s not like he called the number and he didn’t ask for the number either. On the other hand, these girls have big mouths.

Katie’s mom, Kathie, comes to help. Katie starts to cry and says she just wants the baby to be healthy and doesn’t want her to come out too early. Without knowing the baby’s weight, they don’t know when is the best time to deliver. Kathie says Katie’s father would be proud and he’s looking down at her from heaven. She thinks everything will be fine. Yeah, I think Katie is just hormonal. And stressed from the twits she’s been hanging around with.

DJ comes to see Jason. Jason says they’ve always been honest with each other, but he feels guilty about something. He tells DJ about going dancing with the girls at the bar. He says he got a number, and to him it was innocent, but he doesn’t want DJ to find out some other way and be hurt. DJ asks why he went with the girls and not him. Jason says DJ doesn’t really like dancing and he doesn’t want to pressure him. DJ thanks him for being honest, but says he still wishes Jason had asked him to come.

It’s baby shower time! Katie’s doctor is finally back and wants her to come in for an ultrasound, so she’s going to be late to her own party. Jason and Jazmin get there early to help with the decorations. It’s like an explosion of pink. Even ChiChi is wearing a pink butterfly outfit. Jess tells them that it’s possible Katie might have to deliver today, but the shower is on unless she hears otherwise. Jazmin wants to know if PJ is stepping up to the plate, but Jess hasn’t seen him doing much to help. Jazmin asks if he wants the baby, and Jess says she thinks it’s just sinking in.

Guests start to arrive and Jess hopes she gets news soon, since she doesn’t know how long she can entertain everyone. Dawn and Lila arrive, with Lila announcing she’s there for the party and everyone loves a baby shower. I dunno about that. A shower is one of those things that’s great…if it’s yours.

You can hear a pin drop. Jess says who shows up for a party they’re not invited to. Jess asks Lila if she spoke to Katie unbeknownst to her. Lila says Dawn told her about it and she wanted to give the baby a gift. Dawn concurs that she invited her. Jess says it’s not Dawn’s party, it’s Katie’s, and Katie didn’t want Lila there. There’s a bit of an argument and Dawn acts high and mighty in her interview. Like it’s all about the baby. Even the baby wouldn’t want them there. Jason brings up when Lila kicked Terra out of their party, which is exactly what I was thinking about. In her interview, Jazmin says they shouldn’t be arguing in front of everyone, which I agree with. Jess finally takes Lila in another room. Lila says if Katie starts cramping, she’ll leave, and Jess says oh yeah, let it get to that point. I’m pretty stunned. Lila won’t even let Jess talk. Lila tells her to keep the Jameson to a minimum when the baby comes. Jess says not everyone is a drunk like Lila. Lila finally leaves with Jess shouting she doesn’t know how many times she has to tell Lila that Katie doesn’t want her there.

Next time, Jason brings up Terra again to Lila, Lila argues with Jason, Katie argues with Dawn, and Lila and might go into labor.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Dorinda and Jules are shopping. Dorinda has Bethenny in a gift exchange. Ramona is going to be there (Jules has her), and she and Dorinda didn’t exactly leave things on a good note. Jules hates confrontation and stayed out of the way. Dorinda says Ramona needs to grow up and be respectful. She says she’ll be cordial, but she’s done with the apologies. Her mother said have people who warm you, but don’t burn you. Actually I paraphrased, but I think mine is better.

Bethenny is having a holiday cavier party. I cry because I’d love to go to something like that. Carole and Jules are there, along with some other friends of Bethenny’s. Ramona comes waltzing in and wants a margarita, after which she has an unbelievable story.

The Countess is out with Sonja. Sonja says they rarely see each other because The Countess is always out. The talk about that weird guy from the party. OMG, TMI. The Countess says she went out with him a couple of times, but realized something was “off” with him and she’s too old to deal with hot messes. She says he was pissed and that’s why he was aggressive at the party.

Ramona tells the girls about the same weird guy. She acts like nothing was wrong and John just came over to kick him out. She also pretends that John just put his hand in her face for no reason out of the blue. Not that I think he should have done that, but she had a hand in it too, no pun intended. Well, maybe a little. She says Dorinda was freaking out, but suddenly, Jules says she has a different story. Jules says she’s leaving out the part about the guy causing The Countess to be uncomfortable and how weird and drunk he was.

The Countess tells Sonja that Dorinda told her she’s done with Ramona. She says there isn’t one cute guy at the bar, and Sonja says they’ll look better after another drink. Geez.

Dorinda comes to the party. Bethenny meets her at the door and tells her that Ramona is sorry. Dorinda says she’s feeling overwhelmed and trying to pretend everything is good. Bethenny tells her that she should spend some quiet time alone for herself.

Ramona shovels in the caviar. Dorinda enters the party, ignoring Ramona. Ramona tries to engage her. In her interview, Ramona says she’s going to pretend everything is fine. Everyone eats caviar on tiny pancakes. Dorinda invites the girls to the Berkshires where she wants to have a holiday party. She’s not inviting Sonja because she thinks her drinking will lead to drama.

Carole talks to Dorinda on the side. Carole thinks it’s sad that Dorinda and Ramona’s friendship has been disrupted by a guy. Dorinda talks to Ramona, who says she’s not going anywhere, but Dorinda says it’s a one-sided deal now. They open their gifts, a lot of which are funny.

Sonja wonders who The Countess’s mystery man is. The Countess says Dorinda introduced them and he’s special, so she’s keeping him under wraps. She says in her interview that his name is Tom and I guess this is the guy she’s engaged to now. The Countess sees that there’s an article about the weird guy and Ramona at the party in The Post. It says Ramona was thrown out of the party. The Countess thinks Ramona had some nerve talking about her being a bad influence. More TMI with these two. It’s a constant.

Dorinda meets with Sonja, who has a fanny pack that look like a pair of lips. I wish I would have had that in my Rocky Horror days. They hang out on a park bench. I assume Central Park. Sonja says she wanted to talk to Dorinda about Ramona, who she thinks is going psycho. She’s been telling Sonja that no one wants to invite her out because of her drinking when Ramona can kick it back.

First, Dorinda tells Sonja she’s coming from a good place, so you know it’s going to be bad news. She talks about doing the Berkshires thing and she says she doesn’t want to do it now. She says she doesn’t think Sonja needs to be around the ladies right now, so she’s having them up for dinner, but having Sonja separately. She says she’d rather do one-on-one with her. In her interview, Sonja seems to think it has something to do with Bethenny.

The Countess and Tom have dinner with Dorinda, John, Jules and Michael. She thought they would be supportive, while she wasn’t so sure about the others. They talk about Ramona and Tom looks scared. Oh, wait, he actually knows Ramona. The Countess says Ramona went out with him, but nothing romantic went on, which I guess means they didn’t sleep together. He says he’s known Dorinda for years, and when he was on the phone with her, she suddenly handed the phone to The Countess. John makes an inappropriate comment. Everyone ignores it since they’re used to this. He says they’ve been inseparable since their first date. The Countess says she’s protecting their relationship because the girls can be catty. They have a toast.

They show NYC at Christmastime, which is my favorite time of year there. It’s out to the Berkshires though. Ramona gets there first, along with her dog. Dorinda tells Ramona it’s her sanctuary, where she likes to go for the silence she doesn’t get in the city. They talk about Sonja and how The Countess is never at home. Dorinda alludes to who The Countess’s man is, and in her interview, Ramona says she dated him.

Ramona thinks it’s rude that The Countess hasn’t told her about Tom, since for all she knows, Ramona could still be involved. Hardly. It would probably be in The Post. Yikes. Ramona’s dog made poopy all over Dorinda’s carpet. Dorinda tells her own dog to crap all over Ramona’s place in the Hamptons. Ha-ha!

Everyone else arrives. The Countess thinks there will be drama. In her interview, she says she and Carole are “uncool.” Jules says she plays piano and The Countess threatens to sing. Jules’s father is in the hospital with pneumonia. Since the nanny quit last week, things haven’t been peachy. The Countess tells Dorinda that Sonja feels excluded. Dorinda doesn’t think it would be a good combo with Bethenny being there and Sonja drinking. Ramona thinks Sonja should work on herself.

Bethenny arrives. The Countess says Bethenny is copying her hairstyle. Maybe. The Countess says she’s staying with Sonja when she’s not staying with her new guy. Bethenny asks if it’s Ramona’s ex and The Countess is cagey. The Countess says she thinks Sonja needs her right now she’s trying to mentor Sonja, which Bethenny says it’s like the blind leading the deaf [sic] and she finds it hysterically funny. The Countess says Sonja and Bethenny have issues about the Tipsy Girl thing and it was in The Post. Bethenny says she doesn’t care so much about the name, but pick one and go with it – either you’re smart or you’re stupid. She says Sonja used her for free publicity. The Countess says the newspaper claimed Bethenny was suing Sonja, but Bethenny says that’s not true.

Bethenny says a lot of people have copied her and she was the first one to come up with the name. The Countess says that she actually thought it up. Bethenny says she must be right, since that’s what she goes around telling everyone.

Next time, Bethenny and The Countess argue, Ramona and The Countess argue, and Dorinda tells everyone to go home.

May 24, 2016 – The Nurses Ball, a Model Charter & a Wrong Finale

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

It’s time for the Nurses Ball!

Robin and Emma watch the Nurses Ball on TV because it’s such a huge event, it’s even broadcast on the West Coast. They do the red carpet thing with Nina being one of the hosts. She manages to plug Crimson while she’s at it. The dresses are fabulous and I’m guessing the actresses on the show are glad to be dressing up for a change.

Maxie talks to Griff. She says Amy thinks he’s a priest and he should shut that rumor down. He says it’s no rumor, but he’s not practicing right now. Maxie says she’s brought Nathan a tux, but Griff says he can’t be discharged yet. Maxie suggests Griff escort her then.

I love Ava’s red dress with a mermaid hem, but I think she needs more accessorizing. Ooh! I want Kiki’s earrings desperately. Obviously, today’s show is all about the fashion for me. Kiki tells Ava about her last meeting with Morgan. Ava says they’ll be the bells of the ball and Scotty says he’s proud to be escorting such lovely ladies.

Amy is in the back on her phone talking about how amazing it is that she’ll be on stage where she belongs. Elizabeth takes a tumble, but Franco catches her. Obrecht looks amazing and Carly tells her she’d better not be planning a repeat performance of hijacking the opening number, but Obrecht tells us she has something better in mind. I was really hoping she would sing, since she has a beautiful voice.

Speaking of Franco, I read that they’re holding out on Roger Howarth with his contract negotiations. Give him whatever he wants. He and Michael Easton are the best things on this show. Unpredictable, engaging, and not bad to look at.

Jordan and Andre enter together. Backstage, it doesn’t look good for Elizabeth’s ankle. Lucy tells her to just walk the red carpet and promote the show. When Nicholas is introduced, Nina calls Hayden out as Rachel Berlin. Hayden says she had nothing to do with her father’s business and nothing stashed in her sock drawer. Nicholas suggests that might be otherwise, but says it keeps life interesting.

Lucas is pretty nervous. He and Brad are trying to stay apart until the wedding, but catch a glimpse of each other. Uh-oh, bad luck.

Lucy tells Carly what’s one tiny disaster, but won’t tell her what it was.

Anna and Andre meet at the bar. Jordan joins them and tells Anna they’ll meet tomorrow and talk about getting the charges dropped.

Hayden isn’t too thrilled about what Nicholas said on the red carpet.

Lucy walks the carpet and promotes GH and their fight against AIDS. Carly, with some amazing lowlights, says this year it’s going to be better than ever. Nina introduces “homewrecker” Ava along with her “sleazy lawyer.” Ava asks who gave her a microphone and Lucy rescues the moment. She leaves and Ava tells Carly she’ll be over tomorrow to get Avery. Carly says she’ll be ready.

Griff tells Maxie it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to escort her because she’s engaged, but she says what could be safer than a priest? He says he doesn’t have a tux, but she says she can fix that with a phone call. He relents.

Anna enters the ballroom, remembering Duke. Emma comes out on stage and introduces special visitors – her and Robin. So either they were watching on the East Coast or had one helluva quick plane ride.

Maxie, also sporting great lowlights, arrives with Griff. Nina calls him arm candy and Maxie says she bets he didn’t hear this a lot as a priest. Valerie and Curtis are next.

Hayden tells Nicholas she thought they’re supposed to play the happy couple tonight. He says what happy couple doesn’t tease each other about hidden assets, and she tells him not to push her too far. He won’t like how she pushes back.

Emma asks Griff if he’s really a priest. She doesn’t understand why he never wants to get married.

Elizabeth comes in escorted by Franco. Ha-ha! Elizabeth and Hayden are wearing the same thing and Nina points it out. Maxie grabs Elizabeth to get her a new dress. Jason and Sam arrive and the host asks if that’s his ex wife or his next wife.

Carly sneaks into Ava’s room, looking for the flash-drive Ava’s confession. She picks up a martini shaker and hears something clanking around. Oh come on. Nothing is ever that easy. Carly pulls the flash-drive out of the shaker and says she’s smarter than Ava, but almost not. Ava starts to put her key in the lock, thinking she forgot her checkbook, but finds it in her purse.

Robin makes the rounds. Bobbie makes a little speech to Brad and Lucas and they have a toast.

There’s friction between Franco and Jason, and Jason tells Elizabeth she’d better keep his son away from Franco. Jason apologizes to Sam, but she says he has nothing to apologize for. Robin sees them and Jason tells her he’s starting to remember. He says he’s glad she’s there and she says she’s glad they both are.

Carly takes the drive to a laptop. It would be really funny if it’s not the confession.

Nicholas tells Jason he knows about his stunt with the IRS and if he wants war, he has it. Jason doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Sam tells Nicholas Jason is starting to remember. Nicholas says that’s great, but he doesn’t want Jason destroying his life.

The show starts. Lucy tells herself to keep her clothes on. She makes the opening speech. We start with the staff number, led by Epiphany. It’s a semi-rap number that takes us down Memory Lane, and ends with an explosion of confetti.

Lucy makes a plea for donations and thanks Nicholas for his.

Obrecht says now that the crowd has warmed up, they can savor her medley from The Sound of Music. She has puppets and is dressed in a Heidi outfit, but a bunch of orderlies in masks come in and kidnap her. Boo!

Carly sess what’s on the flash drive and says OMG.

Bobbie faints backstage. Told you something was up with her.

Lucy says she promised a night of surprises and….

…to be continued tomorrow.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Jen asks Danny how the make-out was, and even though we all saw it, he pretends like nothing happened. Katie and the models head back to the yacht for dinner. It’s also Katie’s birthday. Ben is busy filleting a fish and no doubt will be baking, although he says that’s not his forte. Jen has decided to keep what she knows about Danny to herself.

Apparently the guests want sushi served by guys with bow ties and no shirts, and Bryan says you gotta give ‘em what they want. Hannah oils the guys down. She says it’s not necessary, but fun. I dunno about that.

Katie sees the birthday banner and tries not to cry. I don’t know if that’s because she’s overwhelmed with happiness or bummed because she’s getting older. The sushi looks fabulous. No surprise, since Ben is a master. Hannah thanks the guys for being good sports.

Next are some gigantic shrimp that are basically looking back at the guests. One of the models has to leave the table because “she’s very spiritual” and is thinking all the shrimp are a family. She says even flies matter to her. Okay. I’m actually thinking of going vegetarian, but not thinking of going insane. She asks if Ben has any vegetarian sushi. He doesn’t, but he says he’ll whip something else up for her. He says the drunker you get, the more vegetarian you become. Danny goes to cheer her up. Rolling my eyes.

Bryan tells the captain all went well. Danny starts writing a poem for the girl who was upset about the shrimp and Bobby tells him they have actual work to do. Danny gives him a hard time, so he calls Bryan to the break room. Danny explains what he’s doing and the captain has to tell him it’s inappropriate. The captain asks if this is something that’s been building, and Danny says they’ve made a connection, but nothing happened. Captain Mark tells him no more building, connections or anything else. He says they’re here to serve them and make them happy, but not to have relationships with them. Danny says he needs space and broods by his bunk.

Ben has made a crazy-looking cake. Hannah hopes the guests will like it, but thinks they’d probably be satisfied with a cupcake with a candle in it. I’ll bet it tastes fabulous. Cake looks can be deceiving.

Danny can’t seem to help himself and gives the model the poem anyway. He wants to make “a moment” for her and feels it’s the right thing to do. Idiot.

Model Morgan reads the poem out loud and it’s the worst. All the girls think it’s sweet though. Danny talks to a couple of the models on deck and Bryan asks to speak with him. He lies and said he wasn’t talking to them, but Bryan says he’s pretty pissed and that he’s acting like a twelve-year-old. Bobby can’t even believe what’s going on. Seriously. It’s like your waiter getting all up in your business or something.

Bryan says they explained it in every possible way, but Danny still did what he wanted to do and he’s going to face the consequences. Hannah says you work on a yacht, the captain gives you orders and you follow them; it’s that simple. Bryan tells Captain Mark what happened. The captain says he’s never had this situation before and Danny isn’t to go on deck tomorrow. Bryan tells Danny. Danny asks if he’s allowed to say good-by to the guests, but Bryan says no and he hopes it was all worth it. Bryan thinks he’s going to get the ax.

Hannah suggests they put Danny under a microscope and study him. Bryan is nervous that he’ll have to rely on Jen more once Danny is gone, but he tells her he’s confident they can handle it.

It’s docking time and the wind is blowing like crazy, which makes it more difficult. The crew chases the breakfast table settings around. Jen says growing up, she was always one of the boys and it’s annoying that they don’t seem to trust her with important tasks. The crew is having a hard time hearing the captain, so he decides to go back out and regroup. They have to anchor outside the dock and the guests have to leave on a tender. I have no idea what that is, but I assume it’s a boat of some kind.

Bobby broods in his bunk. He says he thought he made friendships for life with the models. Highly doubtful. The girls present everyone with towels. I hope this isn’t in lieu of a tip. No one asks where Danny is despite those lifelong friendships. Oops, I spoke too soon, since one of them put a note in his towel. The captain has Bryan bring Danny to the bridge. I wonder if he’s going to make him walk the plank. And yes, a tender is a boat, not a sweet deckhand.

Captain Mark asks Danny what he was thinking. Danny says he thought it was the right thing to do. The captain asks if he still thinks so. Danny says no, because the captain said so, but he likes lifting people up who are down. The captain suggests he be a Walmart greeter. He says the girls are professional flirts and he’s lost the respect of everyone and also his tip. He says he can’t have crew members he can’t trust, and he can’t trust Danny.

Captain Mark says the part that bothers him is that Danny still thinks he’s right and wonders what he can’t trust him with next. The captain says it’s not a question of his honesty, but his integrity. Danny begs and the captain says he can stay, but he has two strikes already; a third and he’s out. He says Danny will have to earn the respect back. He hopes Danny doesn’t prove him wrong.

At tip time, Captain Mark tells everyone Danny started feeling and stopped thinking, but he’s giving Danny another chance. Ben feels badly about Danny, but probably not about the extra tip. Twenty grand, USD. In her interview, Hannah says she would have fired him. Not for the poem per se, but for disobeying the captain’s orders. The wind dies down and Tiffany asks if she can help the deckhands dock. Hannah, who seems a little more chill with Tiffany, gives the okay. Bryan admits she’s pretty good with the lines.

Bobby thinks Danny should have been fired, but respects the captain’s decision. He says he doesn’t hate Danny, but he is pissed off at him. Bryan says it will take a miracle for Danny to regain his trust.

It’s night out time, but Bobby and Danny are doing a safety check, so they can’t go. The crew goes to dinner, which means more drinks than food. Bobby wants to give Danny another chance, since he’s his roommate and he doesn’t want tension. Apparently, whatever schematics they have are outdated by ten years, so they can’t find half the safety stuff listed. Danny wastes some time cutting out dog pictures for Jen who misses her dog. Well, at least we know that has nothing to do with romance.

Jen orders chicken, white rice and green beans and Ben says she likes boring food. She’s the same one who didn’t like the “old buildings” and the food in Greece. After dinner, it’s serious drinking time. They drink some shots in really weird glasses that look like tiny mason jars.

Ben says Bryan’s filter seems to dissolve with alcohol. He likes it and thinks it’s healthy. He also thinks the girls in the crew are hot. Hannah tells Bryan that Ben is a good flirt and says she’s yet to date a chef. I have news for her; he said he’s not interested.

Jen likes the surprise Danny left her. She says he’s redeemed himself and deep down he’s a nice guy. I have no doubt about that, but that doesn’t mean this is the job for him. Hannah tries flirting some more with Ben on the boat, but it’s a no. He actually seems to like Tiffany. Hannah gets offended that Ben doesn’t want to play footsie with her. Ben catches Bryan playing footsie with Tiffany in the bunk and is not too happy.

Next time, Oklahoma millionaires, Hannah is back on Tiffany’s case, and Danny acts like an asshat again.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Alex goes to Rusty and says Randal won’t leave her alone. He asks if Randal raped her and she says no, but Rusty insists he did. He asks if she called the law and she says no. Rusty says good and tells her to stop lying about the rape. She says that’s not what happened and Rusty asks what she’s saying then. Alex says she had an affair and Rusty slaps her. It’s unfathomable to him, and he says he should kill her. He asks if the baby is Randal’s and she says yes. Her mother comes out and asks what’s going on. Rusty says Alex is breaking his heart.

Rusty tells her that Randal won’t leave Alex alone. Her mother is like, oh, so you’re coming here for help now. Rusty tells Alex she disgusts him and he spits on her. As ever, the soul of decorum. Alex is shocked, although I don’t know why, since she grew up with him abusing her. Rusty goes inside and her mother tells her she’d better leave. She says when Rusty gets calm, it’s time to get away.

She must be right because he comes out with a shotgun. Alex says Randal is trying to take her baby and Rusty says good, because “they” should all stay together. Alex says she’s not leaving until they help her and her mother goes nuts, screaming and yelling and smacking her, until Alex finally gets in her car and goes.

Rusty says he needs to get Jessie and Oliver and gas up the truck. I’m sure this can’t be good.

Joey is in Faun’s room, which is decorated by Pottery Barn Teen. She has to make some pick-ups, but Joey isn’t comfortable with her carrying all that money. He says she should carry a gun. She gets one of her father’s guns and gives it to him. She says he can be her security.

Eddie bugs Claudia. He says he wants to apologize for Esperanza. She tells him to get lost, but he’s not having any. He asks where she’s from and she says a place called you’re never gonna get it. Ha-ha! She says she’s never going to go out with him. He asks who she is, since the only thing real about her is her first name. He manhandles her and says whatever she’s doing there had better be in his best interest. She threatens him with some hot coffee. He says he’s watching her and she says ditto. Eddie could probably score if he didn’t behave like such a peabrain.

Andrew says he’s been trying to call Lushion. He says the captain and Steve have been talking all day in the office. He also says Eddie left on Claudia’s heels and it’s not good. Lushion says he has to go sign papers for the house and tells Andrew to keep his eyes open and keep him posted. Andrew asks why he came back, and Lushion says for his pay stubs, but I have the feeling it’s something else and that Andrew thinks it’s something else. Lushion goes out to the hallway and leaves a message for Claudia to call him.

Marcie goes to Brad’s office. She says he hasn’t been answering his phone and wonders if he’s angry. He says no and that he understands. She says she’s sorry and he says that’s one thing he doesn’t need anymore. Marcie asks what he wants and Brad says his life back before Randal. She says he can’t have that, but when they both figure out what they want, they can create it for themselves. He says she put him out of the apartment and she says they need boundaries and barriers.

She asks if he’s seen the baby. Brad says a few times and Marcie asks what he looks like. Brad says like a lie. She says maybe some day they’ll only see a beautiful baby. He tells her it’s wishful thinking. She says if he gets back by nine, she’ll be in her room and they won’t have to see each other.

Commercial break with important information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on Tuesday, June 21 at 9 pm.

Kelly is watching the baby. Justice calls and he’s spending the night at a friend’s house. She keeps trying Alex’s phone, but there’s no answer and she’s starting to worry. She sees Ramses outside because he does lawn work 24/7. She tells him the leaf blower is going to wake up the baby. She asks if he wants to come inside and he says he’s fine. She says she owes him an apology. He says it’s all good, but he has work to do and blows her off. She apologizes again.

Lushion drives up and Kelly barely says hello. Lushion asks if Ramses has talked to her and Ramses says he’s done with all that. Lushion suggests he give it another try, but Ramses isn’t interested. Lushion gives him the check and the contract for the house. Ramses leaves and Lushion gets a call. It must be Claudia because he says be careful, he thinks Eddie is following her.

Stupid Esperanza asks Natalie if she’s okay and says she’s sorry she had to be the one to tell her. Yeah, tell her something you thought you saw, but didn’t. Natalie goes back to work and Kelly calls Esperanza. Esperanza says Lushion asked Natalie to marry him, and Kelly says what if Esperanza made a mistake and then tells her about the mistake she made with Ramses and how he won’t talk to her now. She says it’s important to be sure and not jump to any conclusions.

Alex knocks on Kelly’s door. Kelly asks her about the phone and Alex says the reception is bad at the hospital. Kelly keeps asking her if she’s okay, but Alex says she’s fine. She thanks Kelly and takes the baby. The poor nameless baby. Is he Brad? Randal? Bozo? What?

Kelly sees Claudia walk into Ramses place. She immediately dials Esperanza. What is wrong with this girl? Didn’t she just say don’t jump to conclusions? Esperanza calls Natalie over and says they have to go.

Marcie walks into Alex’s place. Alex tells her to get out. Marcie says she’s there to help her and that Brad loves her. She says he’s a good guy and Alex is making him into something else, but if she shows some remorse, he might come back. She tells Alex to call him and not just say she’s sorry, but show it. Alex asks why she’s doing this and Marcie says she wants to give Alex a fair shot before she takes him.

Marcie leaves and here comes creepy Randal. Alex won’t answer the door. He says he’ll see her in court.

Alex calls Brad. She tells him about Marcie’s visit. He says loving her and missing her isn’t enough. She says if she has to live without him, she will, but she’ll never love another man because of what she did to him. She says she should have let him know how she was feeling and she loves him and she’s sorry. She tells him if he wants to come home, just do it, and they can try to work through it. He tells her yellow daffodils. We both say, what? and he says she was wearing them in her hair when they first met and describes everything about the moment. Oh come on, man, they’re breaking my heart now. Just get back together and band together against the crazy guy.

Aww, the baby has those little mittens on that they wear so they won’t scratch themselves. Brad says he’s telling her all this because he can’t forget. Can’t forget anything apparently. He says he’s done and not coming back. Brad hears the baby and asks if it’s “his” child. Alex asks if he still loves her and he says yes, but he can’t forget and he’s not coming back. She tells him if he ever feels like he wants to come home, she’ll be waiting. He doesn’t want her to do that, but she says she will. Hey, I think he’s wearing a Loki bracelet.

Uh-oh, here comes Rusty with Bubba and Bubba.

Esperanza takes Natalie to Ramses’s house. Natalie tells Esperanza to leave. Natalie busts into the house acting the fool. The bell rings and Lushion tells Natalie to go in the back with Claudia.

It’s Eddie. Lushion asks what Eddie’s doing there and Eddie says congratulations. Lushion tells him to get lost and he asks if it’s Claudia’s car outside. He asks if Lushion is sleeping with her because nothing is adding up with her. Lushion says he’s buying the house and trying to get some peace and quiet, so Eddie needs to take his ass home. Eddie says he passed the test. He says the captain said he didn’t give them up to internal affairs so he’s good with Eddie. Lushion says Eddie isn’t good with him.

Lushion goes back in and tells Natalie that Claudia is FBI and has been doing an investigation. Lushion tells Claudia she can’t go, but she says she called Larry. Lushion is afraid his cover will be blown, but Claudia says it’s all good and leaves. The whole time Natalie keeps rolling her eyes and acting stupid. She says Claudia isn’t FBI, look at how she’s dressed. Like they all go around in pinstriped suits from the 40s. Lushion says Claudia was supposed to flirt with all the rookies and get whatever info she could. He tells Natalie that he’s FBI too, and they’ve been investigating Eddie. Natalie makes some more faces. It’s annoying me that she’s being so stupid. Lushion says that’s why he left the station in Virginia. Natalie asks why he didn’t tell her and he says the less she knows, the better. He says she can’t let anyone know. She wonders what to tell Kelly and Esperanza.

Natalie asks Lushion if he wants to move in immediately and he says yes. She calls Joey. She says she needs him home by eight to watch the kids because she’s going out with everyone. Faun and Eddie leave the burger place.

Almost creepier than Randal, Travis hops over the back fence at Kelly’s place.

Lushion and Natalie wait for Joey. Natalie wants the kids to see the house and says Joey has five more minutes. Joey comes toward the building with Faun and Quan jumps out with a gun. Joey pulls out his gun and both he and Faun get hit. Lushion comes running downstairs and Natalie dissolves into tears.

Travis sneaks into Kelly’s house. What is up with this weirdo? He watches Kelly sleeping and is totally creeping me out. He touches her and I can’t believe she doesn’t wake up. This is making me totally uncomfortable. He leaves the bedroom. The door makes a sound and Kelly wakes up. He leaves the house like he’s all thug. Kelly hears a dog barking and comes out wondering what the blip? He’s left her front door wide open and she freaks.

She closes and locks it, but he’s still skulking around, now peeking in Ramses house. He breaks in there too, like a pro. I thought this dude was supposed to be a missionary. Did I miss something? He sneaks around Ramses place. He goes into the bathroom. The lights are on and he closes the door.

Alex is sitting with the baby. She hears a car and puts him in his little seat. Ugh! It’s Rusty and the boys. Man, someone better call the cops about something. There’s a bunch of yelling and I’m assuming they’re at Randal’s house. Alex checks on the other kids, telling Paisley it’s nothing when she asks about the noise. Alex goes downstairs.

She goes out the back and it sounds like Rusty and friends are busting up the place. We hear gunshots. For a small town, it’s pretty lively here. Alex goes back inside. The door is open and the baby is gone.

It’s silent during the credits, but they’re changing in exact time with my wall clock ticking.

This was the season finale. Hopefully, the baby will have a name next season.

May 23, 2016 – GH & the Not So Charming South

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Like a good stage manager should, Felix yells at everyone to focus and get everything ready. Brad and Lucas talk about how everything is always a mess before the Nurses Ball, but somehow it comes together at the last minute. Just as Lucas says nothing bad is going to happen, something falls with a loud crash.

Hayden tells Curtis that being broke is no picnic. It isn’t for Nicholas either, who’s calling the bank to make his deposit liquid immediately and staring at the shiny big diamond he’s going to sell. He trips over something of Spencer’s and the diamonds go everywhere. Elizabeth comes in and he asks her not to tell anyone.

Obrecht tells Finn she’s been doing research on him. She says his former employer has some strange privacy protocols. He asks what she’s looking for. She says she wants to make sure the trail of corpses didn’t start at a previous job. He says she’s crazy and she says her only concern is the patients.

Julian gives Alexis a gorgeous necklace, like that’s going to make her forget he’s a murderer. She says he’s trying to buy her silence. He asks if every gesture he makes is going to be picked apart now. Yeah, probably.

Sonny and Michael are on the plane and Michael says he’s going to follow Sonny’s lead. Sonny says the line between business and family has been blurred, but this is the first and last time.

Sabrrrina begs for her life. Marcos says he was crazy to let Carrrlos talk him into hiding her. He says practically the whole world is looking for her, including Sonny. She suggests he turn her over to Sonny. She says she used to date Michael and Marcos says Michael has already been looking for her. She tells him he’ll just make it worse if he kills her. Marcos says he has to cover his tracks so there’s nothing to connect them. Just as he’s about to shoot, Michael comes storming in with Sonny right behind. Michael knocks Marcos down and gets the gun away. Well, Marcos just made a mess for himself.

Elizabeth asks where the diamonds came from. Nicholas tells her it’s a recent acquisition, and even though she’s usually a dimbulb, Elizabeth figures it out right away. She says if he turns them over to the Feds, Hayden will be gone forever. He says too late, he’s already sold one.

Hayden says she hates being poor more than she hates being wronged. She tells Curtis she has something going on the side that might change things. She says she’ll catch up to him later and maybe he’ll change his mind about stealing the diamonds back.

Valerie tries to talk Bobbie into being in her act, but Bobbie says she’s already doing something and she’s not feeling that great. Lucas asks if she’s sick and she says she wouldn’t miss the Nurses Ball; it’s her favorite night of the year. Since they made a point of her not feeling well, I assume this is going to factor in later. Brad and Lucas look like cats who ate canaries and Lucas says this might be her favorite one ever.

Hayden asks to talk to Finn. He says no. She gives him a check for ten grand and says it doesn’t begin to cover his loss, but it’s a start. He says money can’t bring the people back who died because of her father’s greed. I’m kind of surprised he’s being so unreasonable.

Sonny tells Michael to take Sabrrrina back to the plane. Marcos starts to babble and Sonny tells him to shut up. He says if Marcos wants to save his own life, he’ll tell him about Julian Jerome. Ha-ha! Big baby Marcos isn’t so tough anymore.

Julian asks if Alexis is going to second guess everything now, but she says she loves him and she just needs to process things. He says blah-blah-blah their future is entirely in their own hands. He gets a call from Lucas who wants to ask him something in person and asks Julian to meet him at the hospital. Julian asks Alexis if she wants to come, but she says she has a lot of work and a manicure appointment. And she’s washing her hair. I made that last one up. Julian leaves and Alexis breaks out the bloody shirt. She makes a call, asking someone to come over immediately.

Curtis tells Valerie her rehearsal looked good. She says what about his act, and he says it’s top secret.

Bobbie tells Brad she’s happy he’s joining the family. Felix overhears her talking about them getting married at the Nurses Ball. There goes that secret.

Nathan asks Julian to be his best man. Julian says he’ll have to find someone else. He says nothing would make him happier, but he doesn’t want to steal the spotlight since he’s been in the news recently. Lucas says they don’t care, but Julian says he wants something better for them.

Nicholas tells Elizabeth the diamonds are leverage against Hayden and also collateral. He says they can help him maintain his lifestyle until he gets it together. He says because of the diamonds, he was able to contribute to the Nurses Ball. Elizabeth says Lucy would have understood, but she’ll keep his secret.

Sonny grills big baby Marcos about Julian. He says Carrrlos kept him in the dark for the most part. Sonny is like, oh, so you got involved by accident? Marcos says he did and he doesn’t want any trouble with Sonny. Sonny says that’s too bad because now he has no use for Marcos. Marcos swears he didn’t know anything; he was just doing a favor for Carrrlos. Sonny tells him it’s going to be a costly favor.

Diane comes to Alexis’s house. Alexis wants Diane to be her attorney. I love Diane and can’t wait to see how this plays out. Diane asks if something has made her question Julian and Alexis says possibly. Diane asks if it has to do with Carrrlos, and tells her that she doesn’t have to worry about testifying against her husband. Alexis says it’s not Julian she’s worried about; it’s herself.

Sabrrrina thanks Michael and asks why he came after she lied to him and ditched him. She explains how Carrrlos talked her into going with him, but she realized immediately that it was a bad choice. Michael says she should have come to him. She says she picked up the phone a bunch of times, but she was with the man who shot his father and she was afraid. Michael tells her Carrrlos is dead and she says she knew already, and God help her, she was relieved. Michael says he’s the one who found him, but Carrrlos wouldn’t tell her where she was and then died at the hospital.

Nicholas tells Lucy he’ll be at the Nurses Ball with his wife. Hayden comes in and asks where he got money for the donation. He says he re-positioned some of his assets. She says he doesn’t have any and realizes he sold some of her diamonds.

Hayden wrestles Nicholas for the diamonds. They end up in a compromising position and almost kiss. He tells her that she has to play the doting wife at the Nurses Ball. She asks what she’s supposed to wear and he gives her a diamond, saying hock this. She says they both have leverage on the other, but he has more to lose than she does.

Sonny tells Marcos he’s not going to shoot him…today. A cop enters and Sonny says he makes a point of cooperating with law enforcement. He says Marcos’s associates are going to testify against him. Marcos calls him a bastard, but Sonny says don’t blame him, blame Carrrlos.

Curtis suggests he and Valerie do a number together. He says he can just stand there and she can make him look good.

Brad asks Felix to be his best man. Felix says yes, and Lucas says Brad is doing better than him. Lucas calls Sam and she agrees to be his best person.

Diane tells Alexis that if she has evidence, she should come out with it now before the police find it independently. She asks if Julian has been threatening her. She shows Diane the necklace and says she loves Julian, but can barely look at him. Diane says he should know better than to buy her silence. Alexis says she’s not necessarily afraid of him, just afraid. Diane promises to be at her side every step of the way and asks if she thinks she can turn him in. Alexis says she has to be able to sleep at night. Julian walks in. He has the best timing of any character on the show.

Elizabeth tries to talk to Finn and he blows her off, then goes back to apologize. He says Roxie is almost as misunderstood as he is, but she would even be embarrassed at his behavior. He leaves and Obrecht tells Elizabeth to stay away from him and that he’s not who he seems to be. She doesn’t know in what way, but she’s going to find out.

Sonny gets back to the plane and tells Michael about Marcos. He says Marcos was too scared to lie and he has to find another way to get Julian.

Diane tells Julian she’s there to steal Alexis away. Alexis says they’re going for a manicure together for the Nurses Ball. Julian says Lucas wanted him to be his best man, but he said no because of the publicity. Diane tells Alexis they have to move or they’ll be late. Outside, Alexis says that she doesn’t want Julian arrested before the wedding, so they’re really going for a manicure. Julian peeks out in between the blinds.

Tomorrow, the Nurses Ball! Carly tells us that this year it’s going to be better than ever. I always wonder how Lucy will lose her clothes. I love tradition on this show. Like the Quartermaines having pizza every Thanksgiving.

Southern Charm

Who knew Craig was going to be the one to get a clue? He tells Whitney he’s just mad that Kathryn hooked up with his best friend after being with him. He says it’s the only logical explanation for the hate. Cameran isn’t believing it, but he says give him a better explanation then. He says they can’t come up with a reason for hating Kathryn so much. Whitney is aghast that Craig is believing Kathryn over him. Craig says Whitney keeps saying Kathryn offended him, so how? Whitney just keeps calling her a lying psychopath.

Craig reminds Whitney about him calling Craig out at his parents’ for being a lazy bum. Craig doesn’t believe you can be so passionate about hating someone unless it was personal. In his interview, Shep says if he was a shrink, he’d be wondering about Whitney’s passionate protests and brings up the Shakespeare quote about protesting too much. Whitney claims it was a one-night stand and starts getting stupid. Shep finally tells everyone to shut up. Whitney calls Craig names and leaves the deck. In his interview, Craig says Whitney’s being a bully has come back to haunt him.

Cameran tells Craig he should be ashamed and he says he had to get it off his chest. Cameran says Whitney has never been hurt over a girl, and wonders if Craig is just creating drama. Shep says he’s sick of blubbering idiots and goes to get champagne. Dani says it’s not okay to sit around and say how crazy Kathryn is and if they’re going to say something about Kathryn, Thomas should be discussed too, because it takes two. JD says their relationship has affected everyone. Cameran says it’s sick and pathetic to watch.

Craig tells Shep this has been a huge source of animosity among the friends, but Shep says he’s annoyed this all came about at his house. He says it isn’t the time or place for Craig’s theories. Cameran tells Craig he should apologize to Whitney. For what? Cameran calls baby Whitney back in and Craig says he’s sorry he upset Whitney, but he thinks there was more going on between him and Kathryn. Why is this such an outlandish idea? Cameran tells him to care about things that matter , you know, because another human being doesn’t. I don’t get this irrational hate either and figure Craig is right.

Naomie tells Craig he was rude and he ruined everyone’s night. Craig says he’s sorry, but in his interview, he says if you don’t stand up for people, you’re a coward and he believes this is the truth.Whitney gets absolutely insane about someone he claims to care nothing about? Really? And we saw that she was keeping her clothing at his house, so wtf? I liked Whitney at the beginning, but he’s turned out to be one big d-bag. I liked his mother too, but ditto. You’re not all that anymore, honey. If you ever were.

Whitney says he woke up angry. Oh man, he is totally lying about that one-night stand. Otherwise, he would just laugh it off. He says Craig is just harboring resentment about how Whitney behaved at Craig’s parents’, which at least he admits wasn’t quite the right approach. Cameran and Whitney leave. Bye, Felicias!

Thomas calls Kathryn. She tells him her induction date has been moved up. Her blood pressure has been like a roller coaster, so the doctor wants to get the baby born.

At breakfast, Landon tells Shep she had fun except for the Craig thing. Shep says he doesn’t get hangovers from drinking, but he does from stupid stuff. Dani has left too, but because of work. Craig says Whitney can dish it out, but he can’t take it, and ran away like the guilty party he is.

Patricia goes to visit Whitney, who is playing guitar badly. It’s Whitney’s third loft in three years and Patricia says they’ve all looked like Isis prison camps. She asks about the trip. Wait for it….

He doesn’t want to talk about it. Patricia lets it go, since Southern WASPs don’t talk about their feelings. She asks him to bring his girlfriend, Larissa, around some time. Whitney talks about a guy’s trip to LA, but says he only has two bedrooms, so he’s only inviting Thomas and Shep. Patricia says she saw JD at the bank and asked what Craig actually does for him, and JD said Craig is his bitch. These people might be Southern, but not so charming. As a matter-of-fact, they’re pretty rude. Is this what old money does to you?

Thomas can’t get ahold of Kathryn. Nanny Dawn says Kathryn is angry because he’s going to LA with Whitney and if anything happens, he’ll never get back in time. Dawn tells him Kathryn left, but she doesn’t know where she went. She says Kathryn is overwhelmed and this could have been avoided. Cool that the nanny is on Kathryn’s side.

Craig has invited Cameran to lunch to clear the air. Naomie says she’s never seen Whitney so upset. Craig says they seem to be on a mission to ostracize Kathryn and he’s surprised at Cameran. Naomie was shocked at how crazy everyone got and says she’d rather not hear about it anymore. Craig still believes what he believes, but doesn’t think it’s worth losing friendships over.

Whitney gets to his place in LA to clean up a little before the guys’ weekend. Thomas calls and says he’s not coming because of Kathryn. Whitney doesn’t get it, but says he has to do his fatherly duties and maybe another time. Thomas feels it’s better to keep things peaceful.

Cameran meets Craig for lunch. She’s another one I liked at first, but I think has become unreasonable. She tells him Whitney was really hurt about him taking Kathryn’s side. Craig says in his head it was a question, but it came off as an accusation. Cameran says Whitney doesn’t have the hots for Kathryn, he just doesn’t like her. Even if that’s the case, why can’t he at least be polite? Craig asks if they’re good and Cameran says she’s fine, but he has to make it right with Whitney. I also don’t get why this group is so supportive of Thomas, who is like the biggest idiot on earth and should be hanging out with people his own age. For a moment, I wonder why I’m watching this, since apparently, I can’t stand any of these people.

Thomas has flowers sent to Kathryn, who has a beautiful white dog. Wow. The lady delivers them in a vase with water already in it. No muss, no fuss. The note just says, “I’m very sorry – love, Thomas.” To the point.

Whitney calls Shep and tells him Thomas can’t make it. Shep asks about bringing Craig and tells Whitney he should be the better person and in his interview, says that grudges are for losers. Whitney makes some lowbrow comments, but says he’ll think about it. Anyone who dates this jerk has to be in it for the money. He has zero personality and even less of a sense of humor. He also uses words that make him sound educated, but seem inappropriate.

Craig visits Kathryn, who says she thinks Kensie has a crush on him. Aww! I’ll bet he’s cute with kids. Craig tells her about the fight at Shep’s house and how panicked Whitney got when he brought up that Whitney might have feelings for Kathryn. Craig says he was just trying to mend the friend circle, but thinks there’s no going back. He tells Kathryn she shouldn’t care though. Kathryn says ultimately the truth will come out and she only wants positivity for the new baby.

Larissa comes to LA. Whitney gives her a heart-shaped mylar balloon that says “I love you.” Bleh. He couldn’t do better than that? He’s written her a song. I put in earplugs. Yep, it’s bad.

Shep meets Craig at his bar. Craig asks if he’s talked to Whitney. Shep says it wasn’t a lose friends situation, but it was a dent. He says he’s been working behind the scenes for an invite to LA for Craig. Craig swears he won’t bug Whitney anymore about the Kathryn thing. Shep tells him he put his rep on the line because he cares about him.

Commercial break. Nine Lives looks really funny, and you can’t beat a Kevin Spacey/ Christopher Walken combo. Seriously, what could be any better?

Thomas visits Kathryn. Dawn takes Kelsie to the park. Thomas is putting together a piece of baby furniture. Kathryn tells Thomas her feelings are hurt because Whitney is always trying to put a wedge between them. She thinks that Thomas has made progress in co-parenting and she’s annoyed that Whitney wanted Thomas to go away so close to when she’ll need him. She tells him he should be around people who want him to be a better person and the best father he can be.

Next time, The LA trip, Craig apologizes to Whitney, Landon thinks she has a chance with Shep (please, no), JD can’t find Craig, JD suggests a paternity test to Thomas.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Leeanne and Tiffany meet for lunch, along with Leeanne’s friend, Heidi Dillon. Apparently, I’m supposed to know who she is, but she looks like someone who shouldn’t be wearing what she’s wearing – some kind of outfit Kanye West might show up in. Leeanne says Heidi is her mentor. Tiffany’s husband is doing a charity event at the House of Blues and she invites Heidi.

Heidi is having a dinner party so she can meet the other girls. She’s going to be making a Frito chili pie, whatever that is. It doesn’t look like something that goes with this woman’s lifestyle. Tiffany suggests inviting Stephanie and Brandi. Leeanne says she probably won’t like Brandi, but Heidi says she’ll keep an open mind. I already don’t like Heidi, since she alludes that Cary got her rich husband by doing something nasty under his desk. I don’t know what was up with how they got together, but Cary doesn’t seem like someone who would sleep her way to the top.

Mark and Cary’s practice is going crazy busy after they updated the website. It’s their six-year anniversary. Mark tells Cary she knows what he wants for his present. They kiss through their surgical masks. Bluebirds fly around with ribbons in their mouths. Well, they would if this was a Disney cartoon.

Brandi talks to her mom, Jana. Her brother, Michael, has PTSD from serving in Afghanistan and she says he’s not sleeping or eating. He tried to take his own life and they’re both worried for him. Brandi visits Stephanie, who took the kids to school before realizing one of them wasn’t wearing shoes. Brandi tells her about Michael. She says she was angry with him for saying things like there’s no God, but she didn’t realize how bad it was. Brandi says she doesn’t know what she’d do without Stephanie. Yeah, especially with that cold fish of a husband she has. Go back to work, Bryan, and stay there. Just send the check.

Leeanne and Tiffany go shopping for House of Blues dresses. Tiffany is a little concerned because it’s the first time all the girls are getting together since Marie’s cocktail party. Leeanne says she wants to apologize to Stephanie, but doesn’t think she owes Brandi an apology. Really? She said some very nasty things about her. Tiffany tells her about Brandi’s brother and Leeanne feels marginally like an ass. Tiffany just wants to put the whole mess behind them.

Cary and Mark have a drink at home after work. She says there are a lot of haters who think Mark just wanted to sleep with her for a while, but they’re best friends. Mark’s personal shopper brings something from Roberto Cavalli for her. No surprise it’s amazing and he says it should be since it cost more than his first car. She gives him a lovey-dovey card and will be giving him a private present. In her interview, Cary says haters gonna hate, but they love each other, the end. Good on ya!

Brandi meets Bryan for lunch. She feels anxious and nervous because she doesn’t know what to expect. She thinks their lack of communication needs to be addressed. They talk about Michael. She says she feels alone and surprise! Bryan apologizes for being a jerk. Brandi says it hurt her feelings when he barely showed up to meet her grandfather. I’m totally shocked and amazed when he apologizes again and says they need to find couple time. She says he rarely apologizes and she’s thrilled. Okay, he’s back on my good side.

Commercial break. Is it wrong for me to be thinking about tomorrow’s breakfast already?

Stephanie meets Leeanne for lunch. It’s so hard to look at Leeanne because all I see is blush. Leeanne apologizes and Stephanie says Leeanne really hurt her feelings. Leeanne says she was coming from a place of pain, but that’s not really her. I hate when people say that. Who was it then? She says she was really hurt as a child and when anyone tries to hurt her, she gets loud. I think Brandi is absolutely right; she needs therapy. She’s too old to be using this as an excuse to be mean. Stephanie thinks the apology is more for Leeanne than her, but she just wants to get past it. Leeanne moves on to talking more about herself and how she’s a motivational speaker. In her interview, Stephanie says Leeanne is the most self-absorbed, narcissistic person she’s ever met and it’s beyond exhausting. Leeanne invites her to whatever conference she’s speaking at.

It’s time for the House of Blues event. The girls arrive and Leeanne introduces Heidi, who is wielding a fan. Cary thinks she should tone it down and I agree. Heidi says she’s having a dinner party and the theme is goth state fair. Okay. Keith Urban Aaron takes the stage. He’s not bad. He dedicates a song to Brandi’s brother and says his life means a great deal and to keep the faith. What a nice guy. Leeanne feels guilty and wants to move beyond the drama. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Leeanne is getting ready for Heidi’s party. She says the only person she’s hesitant to see is Cary, but boyfriend Rich says she’s great and Leeanne is just passing along gossip. She says she’ll work on being a better Christian and a better human. I see we have a long road to travel.

Cary is also getting ready for Heidi’s party. She’s bringing her friend Courtney. They talk about Leeanne and Cary’s makeup artist says something about her blush. Thank you. See? I wasn’t just picking on her.

The guests arrive and some of the outfits are pretty interesting. I think Brandi might have gotten her dress at Spirit Halloween. Cary arrives and says she feels negative energy. She focuses on Ralph the dog, which is exactly what I would do. Heidi complains to Leeanne that Cary didn’t say hello right away, but um, she’s the hostess. Shouldn’t she be making the guest feel welcome? Especially one that doesn’t know her?

Apparently a Frito pie isn’t really a pie. It’s basically a pile of Fritos with chili on it. Tiffany thinks Cary is being a snob because it’s her defense mechanism. Heidi says Cary is going to do a demonstration with a corn dog. What?! She’s a disgusting old crone.

Heidi wonders why people aren’t mingling and Cary says she thinks there’s some tension. For a goth state fair party, this is pretty freakin’ dull. Leeanne says Heidi’s parties are like powwows, but it’s obviously not working. Ooh, Heidi is friends with Mark’s ex-wife. That explains a lot. Yep, I was just going to say I’d leave if I was her and she heard me.

Stephanie says she feels like she’s the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on. Leeanne just stares at Cary as she makes her exit. More Southerners who are not so charming tonight.

Next time, Travis has a birthday, Leeanne makes a speech, and Brandi and Leeanne talk.

May 22, 2016 – Sunset Shahs, Fearing the Dead & the Throne Game

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Shahs of Sunset

Aww! Mike has a bulldog and he’s giving it kisses. Reza comes by Mike’s place and Mike asks him if he’s excited about his upcoming nuptials. Mike tells him that Jessica left. He came home from work and she was gone, calling him later and telling him she feels neglected. Reza tells him he sucks at being a husband and he needs to stop going out to clubs with his friends instead of paying attention to his wife.

GG is out with her cousin, Nima. She says she’s feeling much better about things since the camping trip and is getting back to her silly roots. They go to a bouncy house and jump around wearing monkey suits. And I don’t mean tuxedos, I mean onsies that are monkey costumes.

Asa and Reza go to the tailor, whose name is also Reza. He says it’s like John in Persian world. He’s getting fitted for wedding attire. MJ joins them. Reza is going for a pink and grey color combo, which is one of my favorites. MJ gets teary-eyed over the wedding plans. She’s not in favor of Reza springing a wedding on Adam, and in her interview wonders what happens if he doesn’t say yes.

Asa, who is wearing an absolutely gorgeous turban in her interview, says she and Reza are running on Persian time and late as usual getting to Palm Springs. They talk about Mike while they’re in the car. Reza says as he was writing his vows, he felt guilty for thinking better them than him. I guess everyone is running on Persian time because they get there first.

Mike meets Jessica at a restaurant. He says they’ve been going to therapy since she moved out. They’ve been taking things a day at a time, and he hopes everything eventually falls back into place. They order drinks and Jessica says she’s disappointed in life. Please. We flash back to when she and Mike were first dating. She tells him all he cares about is money. Well, maybe if she’d stop spending so much, he wouldn’t have to. Mike drinks a shot of Patron and I gag. I do not like tequila.

Jessica says Mike thinks being a good husband is only being a good provider. She says she doesn’t need all that, which is a surprise to me, since she just bought a three thousand dollar tea set. She starts whining that he had nothing in the beginning, yet she stuck by him. Mike agrees that he’s been neglectful and disrespectful of her feelings. He says he wants her to come home. She makes a stupid analogy about water torture and says she’s over it. Mike says pain tells you how much in love you are and that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. What a poet.

Back at the “housewarming party,” Reza is wondering if Mike is going to get there. GG doesn’t want to get involved with Mike’s problems without being asked, and Adam is tired of hearing about it. Mike arrives. He wants to decompress and not think about his home life, and MJ keeps trying to bring it up. Reza has rented a party house for them to actually party in, since he doesn’t want to mess up his own place.

The group parties by the pool. MJ tells everyone about Tommy moving in and going to the fertility clinic. Mike tells her he thinks Tommy is moving too fast, as he’s the perfect person to be giving relationship advice. MJ basically tells him to mind his own business.

Asa says that this could be the best day of Reza’s life, or the worst, depending on what Adam’s answer is. She and MJ go jewelry shopping. MJ can’t believe he’s waited until the last minute to get a ring. Back at the house, Mike finds the tickle spot on MJ’s dog and makes her leg start going crazy. Reza picks out a platinum ring. Mike is having a hard time not saying anything to Adam, and is concerned that one of the others will get drunk and spill the beans.

Tommy makes it to Palm Springs and MJ is elated. Asa is practicing her part the wedding, and Reza is doing a facial mask. It’s two hours to wedding time and everyone starts getting ready. Mike is tired of MJ getting on his case. Reza starts to freak because his new suit fits tight even though it fit the day before.

Everyone gets to the venue and GG is having a hard time not saying anything to Adam. Reza is feeling sick and Mike says he felt the same way before his wedding. The group sits down for dinner. Reza says he wrote a tribute to Adam that he wants to read. He talks about Adam being the love of his life and Asa dons a special turban. She asks Adam to stand up and starts the ceremony. Even I’m nervous when they get to the I do’s. Adam thinks for a long minute and we go to commercial break.

It’s a yes! Asa pronounces them partners in life and everyone applauds. Reza gives Adam the ring and Tommy tells MJ they’re next. Mike is bummed because he screwed his marriage up so badly.

Next time, Mike and MJ argue, Reza does stand up comedy, and Jessica goes out with Mike.

Fear the Walking Dead

A gunshot is heard. Daniel wakes from a nightmare.

Celia tells Victor that Thomas died believing his lies. Madison tells her to knock it off. Celia says Madison isn’t Victor’s friend, she’s his fool. Victor wants to bury Thomas. Celia says he doesn’t deserve to bury her son and Victor says he wasn’t her son. She tells them all to be out by nightfall tomorrow.

Daniel finds Ofelia walking around outside. Travis is looking for Chris and Alicia says she woke up to him holding a knife over her. Delusional Travis refuses to believe it. He continues to look for Chris and finds a zombie with a knife in his head. He takes the knife. Meanwhile, Chris is wandering around with a gun tucked into his waistband.

Madison tells Alicia and Nick that Celia is dangerous and they need to get out of there. Nick says he can talk to Celia, but that’s a no.

Travis comes across another dead zombie. He hears noises inside an abandoned building and goes inside. A living guy pops out and Travis says he’s just looking for his son. He’s having a problem with his feet, so the guy gives him a glass of water, which makes total sense only if you know the guy doesn’t speak English. Holy! No wonder Travis is having foot trouble. He takes off his sock and his foot is a bloody mess.

Nick brings a zombified Luis back to the house. Celia says he’s changed, but he’s no less her son and tells two guys to put him with the others. She tells Nick that he understands and belongs here with them. He says what about his family and she says they’re not like him. He says they’re not bad people. She says they look at the zombies like monsters, but who’s the real monster? She says they can stay if Nick will be responsible for their actions. They can all stay except Victor.

Commerical break. Did I just hear them say this is the mid-season finale? Who came up with that concept?

Daniel tells Victor not to bury Thomas there. He says the place is infected, even the dirt, and Thomas won’t rest. He says Thomas will return and hate him for it. Victor asks what’s wrong with Daniel. Daniel leaves and gets Ofelia. He says her mother is at the gate waiting for them. A group of guys grab Ofelia and Daniel fights with them.

Madison says Nick has been different since they left Los Angeles. She says he’s obsessed with the dead and Nick replies that they’re not dead. She asks if he’s been talking to Celia. Nick says that she wanted her son back and that’s what he gave her. He says he can move among them like he’s invisible.

Victor continues to dig the hole. Madison tells him she knows what he’s going through and he gives her a speech about how Nick is an addict who needs something to be addicted to, and now Celia has influenced him. Madison asks where he’s going to go, and he says the boat, if there still is one. He asks if she wants to come with him, but she says not without Travis.

Travis is getting some better shoes from the stranger. He’s able to communicate enough for the man to tell him that Chris went thataway. When he gets close, it turns out that he does speak English and he tells Travis that Chris is in the bedroom, but will hurt his son if he doesn’t get Travis to leave. Travis opens the door and Chris has the little boy hostage and tells Travis to leave him alone.

Celia makes a speech at Thomas’s gravesite about how the world is being reborn. She’s a serious whackjob. She tells Victor it’s time for him to leave and he says he’s not done. She tells him it’s a long way back in the dark and he should hurry. Ofelia tells Celia she wants to see her father. Celia says he’s resting and he’s a danger to everyone.

Chris tells Travis everyone looks at him like a monster. Travis says he’s not, but he’s scaring the kid. Chris gets distracted enough for Travis to get the gun. Chris runs outside and Travis runs after him. They tussle and Chris almost cuts Travis with his own knife. Chris tells Travis he’s no good. Where is Carol when you need her?

Daniel is resting all right; he’s tied to a chair. Celia tries to feed him, but he won’t eat. He tells her the creatures she’s keeping are an abomination. She tells him to confess his sins and ask their forgiveness. He’s also hearing another voice and I’m finding that confusing. He tells Celia he has nothing to say. Celia says not to worry. She’ll take care of him and there’s a place for him there. She leaves and he sees his dead wife standing in front of him. I assume it’s a vision since she doesn’t look zombified. I also assume that’s whose voice he was hearing.

Nick finds Travis and tells him Madison needs him. Travis says so does Chris and tells Nick that he never saw them. He says Chris can’t come back now and neither can he.

Madison tells Celia she’s making a mistake and that she and her children are alive because of Victor. Celia says he killed her son and she’s surprised Madison doesn’t understand. Madison asks what about her son. Celia says he’s open-hearted and fearless, and the only reason Madison is there is because of that. She says the zombies are their responsibility to take care of. She says it’s a new world and wants Madison to see it with open eyes. Madison says she wants to understand.

Daniel has a conversation with Griselda. She says he told her his stories and unburdened his sins on her. She asks if he told her everything and he says there are so many, he doesn’t remember. She asks about the first one and Daniel flashes back to when he was a boy and shot someone. He says that was his first victim and she says the first victim was him.

Celia takes Madison to visit the zombies. She talks about them like they’re children. Ha-ha-ha! Madison locks her in with them. Good luck with that, Celia.

A guy comes in and unties one of Daniel’s arms so he can eat and he manages to knock the guy out and untie himself. Griselda says she’s waiting for him.

Victor gets walked to the gate and says don’t worry, he’ll hail a cab.

Daniel goes to the zombie den with a can of gasoline and spreads it around. The zombies just kind of stand there and he sees Griselda. He lights the gas. It’s so cool – you can see the flames reflected in his eyes. Madison sees the fire and calls to Daniel, but it’s too late. Victor comes by with a car and tells Madison, Alicia and Ofelia to get in. Madison sees Nick and walks toward him, even though the others are urging her to hurry it up. Nick says he couldn’t find Travis and asks where Celia is. Nick says she was right; they destroy everything.

Victor grabs Madison and Nick goes to join his new people. I guess this is one way to give Madison a new love interest.

FWD is returning in August.

Game of Thrones

Sansa gets a message. It’s from Littlefinger. Brienne takes her to meet him. He says he’s glad to see her unharmed. She says that’s hardly what she’d call it and tells him what an inhumane bastard Ramsay is. Littlefinger says he made a horrible mistake. Sansa says that ladies don’t talk about most of the things he did, except maybe in a brothel. Littlefinger says he’s sorry. She tells him that he was no protector. He saved her from monsters only to give her to other monsters. She says she doesn’t need him anymore; she and Jon are taking back Winterfell. Littlefinger tells her that her uncle, the Blackfish, is still alive and how she might need him to help her.

Arya does battle with the Waif. The Waif knocks her down and tells her she’s not ready and she should go home before it’s too late. Arya gets up and the Waif drops her fighting stick, but Arya still can’t beat her. The Waif tells her she’ll never be one of them and calls her Lady Stark. Jaqen enters and says she has a point.

Jaqen walks with Arya and gives her some history about the Faceless Man. He shows her the first faces of men and says the girl is one of them if she decides. He gives her a vial, says she’s been given a second chance, and tells her about an actress she is to poison, Lady Crane.

Arya goes to see a satyric performance about the Lannisters. She’s not too thrilled when they get to the part where the Lannisters behead her father, followed by an unfair portrayal of Tyrion and Sansa. Arya goes backstage and watches Lady Crane, deciding to poison her run. She reports back to Jaqen. She says Lady Crane seemed like a decent person, but Jaqen tells her death comes for both the decent and not-so-decent.

Bran and the Three-Eyed-Raven are having a vision where the Children of the Forest turn a man into a Whitewalker. When Bran awakes, he sees one of the Forest Children and says they’re the ones who made the Whitewalkers. She says that they were at war with the humans and made them in self-defense.

Yara comes forth to claim the Salt Throne. She makes a speech, but old dude stops her, saying that the male heir has returned, so she’s wasting her breath. Theon steps forward and says that Yara is the rightful ruler and revs up the crowd. Euron gets into the act and also claims the throne, making nasty comments about Theon’s manhood or lack thereof. Yara says her first act as queen will be to execute the man who killed her father. Euron says, yep, that was him, but Balon led them into two wars they couldn’t win and apologizes for not killing him years ago. Theon says Eulon wasn’t there because he was out gallivanting, but Yara was. Yara says she’s going to build the largest fleet ever and Euron says no, he will. He says he wasn’t born to be king, but he paid the Iron price.

The old dude puts Eulon in the water so he can drown and emerge anew. His body is brought to the shore and it looks like he’s done for good when suddenly he coughs up a bunch of water, and the group chants, “what is dead will never die.” He gets a driftwood crown for his trouble and says let’s go murder Yara and Theon. Too late though, they took the best ships and are headed out to sea. Eulon tells the crowd to build a thousand ships.

Dany meets with Jorah and Daario. She tells Jorah she banished him twice, he came back twice, and now he saved her life. She says she can’t live with him and can’t live without him. He shows her the greyscale on his hand and says he has to go away, but he’s going to end it before it gets really bad. She says she’s sorry, but he says he’s not because he loves her and always will. He starts to exit like Elvis in Flaming Star, but Dany stops him, saying that she’s still his queen and she commands him to find a cure and then return to her. She says she’ll need him by her side when she takes the Seven Kingdoms. Dany rides off with her troops and Jorah rides in the other direction.

Varys says it appears that a fragile peace has taken place in Meereen. Tyrion says they have to play up that Dany is responsible for that. Tyrion asks a Red Priestess for help. She says she supports Dany, and goes on about the Lord of Light and how Dany will defeat the darkness. Varys brings up how the Red Woman thought Stannis was the chosen one and look what happened. She says even honest servants of the Lord make mistakes. She says that everything happens for a reason and talks about Varys’s castration and how he heard a voice that night. She says if he is a true friend of Dany’s, he has nothing to fear.

Bran sneaks in a vision when the Raven is asleep. He’s on the other side of the Wall and sees an ancient graveyard. There’s an army of zombie-looking men that are frozen. He sees Whitewalkers on their horses and one of them sees him. The army starts to move and the Whitewalker grabs his arm. Bran wakes and the Raven says the Whitewalker touched him and now he can get in because his mark is on Bran. He says they all have to leave and it’s time for Bran to become him.

Jon says they need more men to take Winterfell. Davos says it doesn’t look good and Sansa suggests the Karstarks. She says that her father always said the North was more loyal. Davos says they still don’t want to get skinned alive. Sansa thinks that people will remember the Stark name and rally. She tells them about the Blackfish and Davos is encouraged.

Brienne wants to send a raven to the Blackfish, but Sansa is afraid it will be intercepted and wants to go personally. Brienne says Jon seems trustworthy, even if a little brooding (ha-ha!), but she’s not sure about Davos. Sansa says that he’s cool, and Brienne asks why she lied to him about how she knew about the Blackfish.

The group, including Jon, leaves on their quest with Tormund making eyes at Brienne. Edd realizes he’s now the Lord Commander.

Meera is talking to Hodor, when she gets a bad feeling. Rightly so. There’s an army of Whitewalkers outside the cave. The leader touches the ground and it makes a beeline into the cave. Meera tries to wake Bran, but he’s busy visioning with the Raven. The Forest Children throw their version of Molotov cocktails at the Whitewalkers, but all it does is start a fire that the Whitewalkers walk right through.

Yikes! The Whitewalkers are in. Meera tells Bran he has to wake up because they need Hodor. He hears her voice in his vision. The Whitewalkers are right there and bumping off the Forest Children like they’re swatting gnats. Meera manages to kill the head walker. NOOOO! The Whitewalkers get Bran’s direwolf. Bran enters Hodor’s mind and they all manage to get out. The Night’s King goes up to the Raven. In his vision, the Raven tells Bran it’s time and he must leave.

Oh man, these Whitewalkers are some kind of creepy. The Forest Child throws a fireball at the Whitewalkers and buys time for Hodor to get the door open and get Bran and Meera out. In Bran’s vision, young Hodor is having a seizure. He starts saying “hold the door” until the words merge into “Hodor.”

This absolutely sucks. While Hodor keeps the door closed so Bran and Meera can get away, the Whitewalkers attack him.

Next time, Bran on the run, Margaery stands accused, and Daario and Dany team up.