May 18, 2016 – GH, Big Apple Little Women & Wives

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I had a late lunch with a friend and missed it. I tried watching it On Demand, but for some reason, the picture and sound kept breaking up. Thanks, Verizon! Finally, I caught it on Hulu, so here are the highlights I grasped while I was doing three other things.

Laura returns to the disco – she and Doc pretend like they’re going to buy it. As if the realtor would still have the disco ball hanging there. And the sparkly crepe paper, which hasn’t aged.

Tracy insists the baby is just some random child who was left there, but Michael asks her what would be the odds of anyone leaving a baby on their doorstep? He has a good point, and that baby looks very Spanish, which narrows the odds even more.

Felix wants Finn to participate in the Nurses Ball. I can’t say enough good things about Michael Easton in this role. He’s been far too serious for far too long on One Life to Live and then GH. He hasn’t had any fun since vamping it up in Port Charles.

Hayden tries to get Nicholas to help her take photos of the stuff she wants to sell online. She says New York is a community property state, so it’s their stuff. I like seeing these two back together again. They have a lot of chemistry, and Hayden brings out a side of Nicholas that Elizabeth certainly doesn’t.

Laura tells Doc about Luke raping her at the disco, and tries to justify it somewhat. Will we never get away from this? To his credit, Doc tells her not to blame herself. GH dug a hole for itself with this one years ago and they keep reopening it. Laura says she has no regrets and nothing Helena can do will change that. Doc says Helena is just playing mind games. Laura says Helena is probably looking up at her – hahahaha! – instead of looking down on her.

Jason visits Sonny and tells him he remembers everything now. We trip down Memory Lane. Jason apologizes for being a jerk, and Sonny says fuggedaboutit. Jason doesn’t exactly want to work for Sonny again, but tells him that he has Sonny’s back when it comes to Julian. Sonny says he’ll only ask if he has to and welcomes Jason home. Awww!

Finn gets into the drug cabinet via a clueless Felix, but we don’t see what, if anything, he takes. Tracy has him come to the Quartermaine mansion to check the baby and he suggests getting blood work done. Hayden pops in and asks for a job, since Nicholas shamed her into using her brain to make money. Tracy tells her to get lost. Tracy also has baby fever and names the baby Edward.

Diane brings the happy news to Nicholas that he owes back business taxes. I’m guessing he might not be responsible since he no longer owns the company, but I’m sure a lawsuit or prison is of concern if he doesn’t pony up. Nicholas acts like it’s a personal affront that Jason brought down on him. Diane suggests he sell some of his stuff on eBay if he can’t scratch up the cash.

The realtor says the disco is owned by Lloyd and Lucy Johnson, psudonyms of Luke and Laura at one time. Doc tells Laura that maybe they should be Lloyd and Lucy Johnson 2.0.

Michael takes the baby to the hospital when Tracy isn’t looking.

No preview.

The Real Housewives of NYC

I have the answer to Sonja’s question, if being Sonja is so wrong, why does it feel so right? Because you’re tipsy, girl. BA-DUM-CHH!

Sonja gets ready for The Countess’s arrival. She shows The Countess to the guest suite, which is pretty impressive. It’s a nice townhouse. The Countess says she thinks Sonja feels more stable with her around. She tells Sonja she wasn’t expecting the unveiling of the wine at Sonja’s birthday party. She asks if Sonja talked to Bethenny about the name of her product being thisclose to SkinnyGirl. Sonja claims that someone else came up with the name. Someone who must never have heard of Bethenny or the liquor line she manufactures.

Bethenny says she’s been dragged into the press with Sonja’s product. Ramona and Carole meet her for dinner. Apparently, Sonja has been saying Bethenny is her mentor and has set up a meeting with her. Bethenny says she saw the rip-off name on Page Six of the Post. She says her partners are seriously annoyed, especially after she brought Sonja into a business meeting to help her. They discuss Sonja’s narcissism, and Carole says this could cost Sonja a friendship.

Commercial break. I love The Real Housewives in Wonderland ads. I’m also wonder(land)ing what that’s about.

Ramona and Dorinda meet for breakfast. Ramona says she can’t quite accept John for Dorinda, but if she wants a relationship with Dorinda, she’s going to have to. Um…that’s right and wtf business is it of yours to accept anyone for anyone? Dorinda asks Ramona what she thinks about Tipsy Girl. Ramona says she’s disenchanted with her friendship with Sonja and doesn’t think tipsy anything is a good idea for her. Dorinda tries some cryptic talk about Ramona’s relationship with Sonja when she’s really talking about the both of them.

Somehow she changes the topic to her and John, and tells Ramona she has to respect that John is a part of her life. She doesn’t want to feel awkward any more. Ramona says she’s trying, but her mouth gets in the way. Dorinda tells her that if she can’t act like a normal adult, to pretend.

Bethenny was out until 4 am on her date. She says it’s someone she’s known for a while and it was a surprise to see potential. She’s at her office and Sonja comes by for the meeting. Sonja is thinking how wonderful it’s going to be to see each other. How can any human being possibly be this clueless?

Sonja tells Bethenny that her personal website has the same colors as Bethenny’s office. Funny you should say that. Bethenny brings up Tipsy Girl. She thinks Sonja’s partner, Peter, is shady. Sonja says he owns the rights to the name Tipsy Girl. Bethenny asks about Sonja’s distributors and Sonja can’t name one of them. This should come as a surprise to absolutely no one.

Sonja claims she was just testing out the product at her party. Bethenny says a similar brand name is called a cheater brand because it rides on the coattails of another brand. Bethenny says she’s personally hurt since she brought Sonja into her brand summit, and she wants nothing to do with her. She says Sonja never even contacted her until the Page Six article. She says that Sonja is a fraud who only talks a lot. Sonja yaps about her chapter 11 bankruptcy again and starts crying. She should cry. She says wah-wah-wah, she wasn’t going to do anything big, she just wanted something fun she could serve at her parties. Bethenny says she feels badly for her, but she’s tired of Sonja playing stupid and she can’t have it both ways. Sonja says she just wants to get back to where she was. Bethenny says she has compassion, but Sonja says she’s not feeling it. Bethenny says she has to get back to work, wishes her well, and says she’s not going to have any more conversation on the subject. Sonja acts innocent, but makes a snide remark in the elevator, and the interns roll their eyes.

Jules’s nanny has quit. She took her Christmas bonus and never came back, even though she’s been with them for two years. What are we missing? Jules is going to do some interviews. Jules go over responsibilities with the first one. Jules shows her around and asks her to pick out an outfit for one of the girls. It’s a thumbs up for the outfit, but a thumbs down on her Spanish skills, because they want the kids to be fluent. What I didn’t like about this process was that the first thing they did was have Michael check out her Spanish, which sounded pretty good to me, but she said she wasn’t fluent. If this was a make or break issue, why did Jules continue with the interview? Again, I feel like I missed something, but maybe these people just don’t communicate well.

Carole is fostering a kitten named Vinny. Adam is back and putting on his chef’s apron. She says when he was away she “cheated,” eating all kinds of junk food. Carole’s dog, Baby, really loves the kitten, but Carole is refusing to get attached.

She and Adam are working on a cookbook called The Reluctant Vegan – with her being reluctant and Adam being the vegan. This sounds like something I would enjoy. I’d like to be a vegan, but I’m reluctant to give up burgers and sushi. I think if Adam was cooking for me, I’d be a lot less reluctant. Carole says she’s been warned not to mix business with pleasure, but they’re doing it anyway.

The Countess meets Sonja and Ramona at Sushi Roxx. They talk about the Countess’s many dates. She claims to have gone through a dry spell and Ramona says she’d hate to see what a not-so-dry spell is like. Then comes the TMI and I go ♫ la-la-la! ♫

John and Dorinda are at an event to honor one of the designers John does business with. Jules and Michael are also attending.

The Countess asks what happened at Sonja’s meeting with Bethenny. Sonja tells her that she was surprised Bethenny was so critical. The Countess suggests Bethenny needs a boyfriend. The girls move on to John’s event. Dorinda didn’t give Ramona an invite and wonders why she’s there. The Countess sees a former flame who didn’t end well. The guy comes over and acts like a total asshat. The Countess freaks and decides to leave. The dude keeps talking to Sonja and Ramona, and he’ obviously three sheets to the wind. He has no concept of personal space either and John asks him to leave.

Ramona makes a stink and says everything is cool, so John says she can leave too. Asshat is catching and Ramona acts ridiculous. John actually keeps his cool pretty well, but then has enough and puts his hand in Ramona’s face. Ramona leaves with Mr. Personality.

Dorinda says Ramona isn’t even supposed to be there and wonders how she dare make a scene. She goes outside and tells Ramona she needs to respect her when she’s at John’s event. No surprise, Ramona acts like an idiot and Dorinda tells her to get lost. Ramona continues to act stupid and says she doesn’t know what happened and tries to blame John, who for once had very little to do with it. Ramona leaves and Dorinda hails a taxi. John tries to get her to stay. She says his actions are correct, but his reactions negate them, and he didn’t act like a gentleman.

Next time, Ramona’s idiocy makes the Post, another trip to the Bershires is planned, and Dorinda excludes Sonja.

Little Women: NYC

Oh no. I’m seeing the tale end of Briana and Matt: Part Two, and apparently they’re staying together. Good luck with that. For those who don’t know me, when I say that, the translation is, all the luck in the world isn’t going to help you.

Jazmin meets up with Jason at the park. They’re going on a walk so Jazmin can vent about Dawn. She says Dawn is making it impossible to have a relationship and wonders if it’s time to be done with her. Jason says there isn’t enough love behind Dawn’s tough love. He tells Jazmin that she’s not Dawn the second, she’s Jazmin the first. Jasmin says she’s damned if she does, and damned if she doesn’t; Dawn nags at her no matter what. Jason thinks there might be some resentment because Jazmin is married to Dawn’s only brother. He wants to invite Dawn to his family home for dinner, so she can see a different family dynamic.

Lila wants to play Switzerland and visits Dawn. Dawn thinks there’s too much pressure for her and Jazmin to be friends just because they’re outlaws inlaws. Since Dawn has the tact of a rock being thrown at someone’s head, she tells Lila how she couldn’t understand why Jazmin was upset when Dawn publicly criticized her lipstick color. Lila says she lacks charm and manners, and she should be nice for it’s own sake.

Dawn says that she and David were adopted. Their parents were little people and they had to fend for themselves often, so she thinks everyone should do the same.

Jason has Jazmin and Dawn over to his parents’ house for dinner. When Jazmin comes in, Dawn makes a face like she smelled something bad. She’s annoyed that Jason didn’t tell her that Jazmin was coming. Dawn talks blah-blah-blah about independence. Jason says it’s good to know friends are there if you need them, but Dawn says you don’t have to live with people to know that they’re there. She feels there’s a high expectation when it comes to family and talks more nonsense. Jazmin says family is family no matter what and Jason says relationships take work. Dawn says she feels like she’s being talked at. Since she’s constantly talking at people, it’s about time the tables turned. She can’t deal, so she leaves before dessert, claiming she has to work. Jason is concerned he made things worse.

Dawn keeps babbling how she and Jazmin don’t have to be best friends just because they’re related, but fails to understand that no one is asking them to. They would just like Dawn to act halfway friendly. She seems to have no concept that there’s a huge spectrum between strangers and BFFs.

Commercial break with important information. The UnReal season premiere is June 6.

Jason asks to stop by Dawn’s place. She says okay, but isn’t sure he has her best interest at heart. He asks why she left so abruptly and she makes up excuses. She says she felt ambushed and Jason says he doesn’t get it. She says she’s sick of everyone jumping into her and Jazmin’s relationship and asks why he didn’t tell her Jazmin was going to be there. He says because he knows Dawn and didn’t think she would come. Dawn says everyone should mind their own business.

Jason invites everyone to go camping. He seems to think a peaceful weekend outside of the city will refresh them. I’ve decided Dawn always looks like she smelled something bad.

Lila and Katie get together. Lila feels that Katie wasn’t given the warmest reception to the group, so she’s treating her to a pedicure. Tiny, cute toes! Katie asks if Lila remembers her from a convention years ago and that Lila wasn’t too nice. Lila tells her if it happens in the future, just let her know. Lila was probably drinking back then. She says they’re both going through stressful, emotional changes.

Lila talks about losing her dad and how he was her hero. Katie says she loved her dad too, and it’s hard knowing he won’t see his grandchild. Lila says she’s dreading the big life moments to come without her dad. I identify, since my father passed away shortly before I got married. Katie says she’s surprised by Lila’s support and understanding.

Katie is struggling to put together a crib. Jess comes in with a dog she adopted (GiGi), and Katie wonders if Jess is expecting her to take care of it when she isn’t there. Jess says funny you should say that, and tells her about the camping trip.

Let the camping commence! The gang loads up the car and Dawn pretends to be excited. She immediately tries to start an argument with Jazmin. Jason says it’s going to be a long trip. Jazmin says something has been weighing on her that involves Jess and she’s hoping to get a chance to discuss it with the others. Because God forbid she should actually discuss it with the person involved.

Dawn is a backseat driver, which is no surprise. Jason sees a possible bear food sacrifice in the future.

They get to a farmstead where they’ll be camping. It’s mega-cool and Jess says she can’t imagine anyone complaining about this place, even Dawn. They fight over who gets what bunk. It looks to me like whoever owns the farm built a bunkhouse to make some extra bucks. The owner explains they won’t be attacked by wild animals, which everyone seems concerned about. On a farm. Lookout for that chicken stampede!

Katie video chats with her baby daddy, PJ. She says she needs support and help, and that she loves him and wants them to be a family. PJ says it’s time for him to stop being a kid and understand that his own kid is coming. He says he’s here for her and the baby and is getting plane tickets immediately. Gee, that was easy.

Jess says that she knows Katie is going to be a great mom. She feels guilty for leaving Katie behind, but figures it will be crazy when the baby comes, so she’s getting in some relaxation. Jason has one last plan to make the bickering go away. He calls everyone outside. They’re going to light and release some lanterns and let go of the bad stuff and bring in the good times. Dawn asks if the lanterns are biodegradable.

Glad you asked, Dawn. Let me tell you about those lanterns. One of these landed in my backyard once. Still on fire. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated it. And how thankful I was that I happened to be there when it landed. So sorry to rain on Jason’s lantern parade, but I hate these things and think they’re a fire hazard. I’ll bet they’re bad for the dolphins too.

Lila wants to prank Jason, who is easily scared. She asks Jess to be her partner in crime. Lila dons a wolf mask; Jess is going to distract Jason. Lila sneaks up on his chair and he dumps hot tea on himself, but takes it like a champ. Everyone laughs except wet blanket Dawn. Lila says you can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the stick out of the girl’s ass. Ha-ha! She tells Dawn she has zero sense of humor which is probably true.

It’s time for s’mores and Debbie Downer Dawn says she can’t imagine putting a marshmallow on a stick and eating it. Jess makes fun of her and Dawn gets pissed at Lila for not defending her. She pulls Lila aside, which Jason says is never good, and proceeds to get totally out of control. Lila says she’s not always going to back Dawn, especially when she acts stupid. Whattsamatta, Dawn? Can’t be as independent as you would like your family members to be? I dub this poetic justice. Dawn says a friend to all is a friend to none (did she get that from Brownies or Blue’s Clues or something?). Then she adds that there’s no “i” in team, but there’s a “u” in see-you-next-Tuesday, which is what Lila is. Lila reacts mildly IMO, and says Dawn ostracizes herself all the time and calls her an a-hole. I’d say Lila showed some restraint there.

The next day, the Slip ‘N Slide is brought out. Everyone except Dawn plays around on it. Afterward, Jazmin thinks it might be a good time to talk to Dawn about their relationship, since Dawn is feeling alone. She apologizes for yelling at Dawn. She says that they don’t have to be best friends, but she’d like some support. Dawn says she loves Jazmin and David, and she doesn’t want to fight. They hug. In her interview, Jazmin says Dawn makes it hard to love her, but she’s family, and time will tell if she makes good on keeping the peace.

Jess goes to make a call and Jazmin wants to talk to everyone. She tells them she saw Jess and Katie smoking after belly dancing. She took a video and shows it to them. Oh. Horrors. Now, I’m not advocating smoking while pregnant, but it’s not like she was chain-smoking and taking a video? And then showing it to other people without even discussing it with her?? Really???

Next time, Lila plans and intervention, PJ comes to NYC, and Katie and Jess feel attacked.

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