May 30, 2016 – No GH, Charm from the South & Farther South


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)


No General Hospital today (sniff!). They showed a rerun of the accident where Jason saved Dante and regained some memory. At least it was a good choice.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

While Stephanie is checking out a venue for Travis’s birthday, he’s taking care of the boys. Apparently, his birthday is a huge deal that Stephanie compares to the second coming. He asks if Stephanie needs his assistant, Courtney, but Stephanie wonders if he really wants Courtney to check out what she’s doing.

Cary and Mark discuss their daughter Zuri’s third birthday coming up. Since Mark loves to shop, Cary is hoping he didn’t get her too many things. I’d say it’s a pretty good bet that he did.

Stephanie thinks a Gatsby theme is the way to go for the party. She asks Courtney to deal with the invites. Brandi suggests she give him the gift of a grave. I guess that’s for the person who has everything.

Here comes Leeanne, so look out. She’s meeting Rich for lunch. She has a motivational speech coming up with The Grace Project, for women who have HIV/AIDS. There are going to be about 600 people and Rich says he could never talk in front of that many. She says the women live in shame about their disease (which is just sad in 2016) and since she had shame over being sexually abused as a child, she wants to alleviate that for them.

Stephanie says she’s getting along with Leeanne right now, but she’s worried that if she invites her to Travis’s party, there will be drama. Leeanne and Brandi still aren’t on great terms.

Tiffany meets with Leeanne before Leeanne’s speech. She’s pretty happy about the House of Blues event going so well, and thinks that Aaron might finally call Dallas home. Leeanne says two women in their community were murdered because they came out as HIV positive. What? Don’t elaborate on that or anything.

Leeanne talks about being molested by her best friend’s father and later, her fiance trying to kill her (not Mark). She says this gave her various underserving labels, but their label needs to be “I am worthy.” She wants all of them in the light, sharing their story. Tiffany is glad Stephanie is there to see this side of Leeanne. Too bad Leeanne isn’t like this 98% of the time.

Stephanie says it’s hard being the only girl in the house, and expects a nervous breakdown by the time she’s 40. The boys suggest getting daddy “poo-poo” for his birthday. Yep, typical boys. Stephanie calls Brandi and tells her about Cruz also suggesting a poop birthday cake. Since Stephanie is poop obsessed, I’m sure she appreciates that. Stephanie tells her about Leeanne’s speech and how she saw a different side of her. She wants to invite her to Travis’s party. Brandi says with tequila, it will all be good. Why anyone drinks that stuff is beyond me.

Travis wants to know about his birthday, but Stephanie wants it to be a surprise. Stephanie says Travis likes to micro-manage her and doesn’t know where business ends and their personal life begins. She says she feels like he treats her like a child and wants him to take a step back and let her do things on her own. He gets it, and tells her about how his mother gave them lists as a child and it’s spilled over into his adult life. She says she doesn’t need added pressure because she puts enough on herself already. He says they grew up differently, but opposites attract and they’re living proof.

Brandi calls Leeanne and asks if they can meet for lunch or coffee and clear the air. She says there’s been a lot of “miscommunication,” which is what people say when they’ve called each other names.

It’s Zuri’s birthday. She’s wearing a dress that Mark bought her in Italy that’s the same design as Cary’s wedding dress. I can’t imagine what it must have cost, and think he’s probably out of his mind, since she’ll only be able to wear it for about a month.

Brandi is anxious about meeting with Leeanne. After hearing about Brandi’s brother trying to commit suicide, Leeanne says it put life in perspective. Brandi says she admires Leeanne for sharing her story and apologizes for pushing her buttons. Leeanne says she knows she has a side that isn’t pretty, but that’s not who she is. Ugh!!! I hate when people say that. If it wasn’t you, who was it? She wants to be able to hang out with Brandi and have a good time. She thinks this might be their moment to move forward. They talk about Travis’s birthday party and hug it out.

It’s shopping time. Stephanie and Brandi look for Gatsby dresses. Brandi tells Stephanie about the meeting with Leeanne. Stephanie says Brandi had better not ditch her for Leeanne. Ha-ha! Not too likely. No surprise, the dresses are amazing. Lots of glitter and feathers.

Brandi asks one of her daughters if she likes boys. She says no because they have tails. That’s a new one on me, but okay, I can roll with that.

Cary is hoping they can have a mature evening at Travis’s birthday. Cary is wearing her dress from her wedding reception and Mark is stoked.

Stephanie says she hopes Travis appreciates all the planning, and if he doesn’t, he’s an a-hole. Ha-ha! Everyone shows up looking fabulous. Tiffany says she feels an arctic wind when Cary comes in. Cary says Stephanie is being all rainbows and unicorns about everyone getting along. Lots of drinking and laughing, which is quite a change. Brandi suggests they all take a girls’ trip to Austin.

The cake comes out, decorated with sparklers. Stephanie says Travis seems genuinely happy about how his birthday turned out. Some woman talking to Travis says she’s going to be 46 soon and I choke on my coffee. It reminds me of the time I did a panel on skin care. We went around the table saying our ages. I was actually 46 at the time, and the woman next to me said she was too. You could have heard a pin drop. Either she was dyslexic and had the numbers backward, or she’d lived a really, really tough life. Like outside in the desert.

After the party, Stephanie has a surprise for Travis. She jumps out of a giant cake, singing Happy Birthday. Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder to get out of the cake than it was to get in.

Next time, an Austin road trip, Leeanne threatens Marie’s life, and Cary tells Leeanne she’s crazy.

Southern Charm

In LA, Whitney manages to annoy me just by cracking eggs into a bowl. Larissa is there already, but Shep and Craig are coming tomorrow. He tells Larissa about Craig getting Naomie a promise ring, since they’re in middle school.

Cooper and Kathryn go to the spa. She says she’s never had a facial before and I frown on Thomas not springing for a spa day for her ever. She talks about having the new baby, and says this time she and Thomas won’t be going home together. She says sometimes they get along really well, but she doesn’t want to be too hopeful. Cooper realistically tells her that Thomas is a 50-year-old playboy and highly unlikely to change. He tells her to be strengthened rather than frustrated, although I don’t know how his assessment is supposed to help with that.

Thomas and JD play some polo. Afterward, they talk about watching their kids play polo one day. Thomas tells him the baby is coming on Monday. JD thinks it’s peculiar that Kathryn moved up the due date. Hello? The doctor moved up the due date. He alludes that maybe the baby isn’t Thomas’s. He doesn’t know if he “believes in two accidents.” Well, if Thomas didn’t want a second “accident,” he should have used a preventative measure.

Craig meets Naomie for dinner. She asks if he’s going to LA. He says he wants to. He says he still believes Kathryn about Whitney, but he’s going to let it go for the sake of their friendship. JD’s bourbon launch is on Saturday, but Craig says he’ll be back by then. He says he’s already done everything JD asked him to, and he thinks all should go well. Naomie says if it doesn’t, no doubt it will be all his fault.

Landon and Cameran go to a candle-making class. Cameran asks her about the travel magazine she wants to start. She says Landon is used to being taken care of, and seems to be floundering. She asks Landon about man prospects, but there’s nothing on the horizon. Cameran wonders if she thinks something could work out with Shep, and maybe that’s why she isn’t finding anyone else. Landon says kinda sorta, and in her interview, says that she has with Shep what she didn’t have in her marriage. Cameran says she should figure out a way to make it happen. Um…no, don’t do this.

Shep and Craig get to Whitney’s house in LA. Whitney acts like a bit of an asshat, ignoring Craig for the most part. Eww! They’re drinking Coors, the weewee of beers. Whitney says Craig has taken on a persona that’s “less amusing” than he was. Craig apologizes and Whitney is so dense, he can’t even figure out why Craig would care about Kathryn. Whitney accepts the apology, but in his interview says that he’s leery of trusting him now. Larissa arises from her jet lag nap and they all go out to a party. Whitney says Shep’s Southern goofiness works in Charleston, but not so much in LA.

That’s okay, Shep drank too much tequila to score anyway.

JD goes over the list for the whiskey event at the Charleston Cup. His assistant says that she and Craig went over some things, but she can’t seem to hunt him down. JD says Craig has wanted to be more involved with the bourbon, and it’s a perfect opportunity, but now he can’t be found. Craig’s voicemail is full, so JD leaves a message on Shep’s phone. Shep passes along the info and wonders how he got involved. Craig says he’s going back the next day and he just does grunt work for JD anyway. Craig wants to go for a massage and Shep wonders what happened to just getting drunk and laughing your balls off.

Thomas and Kathryn meet for lunch. Thomas tells her she’s getting to be an expert at the baby thing. He says he senses fear and she says a little, since she’s going to be alone this time. Thomas says he can see she’s nervous and overwhelmed, and he wants to be there for her.

Back in LA, the masseuse arrives. She talks about connecting with herself and Shep rolls his eyes. They talk about energy transference, but I think Shep is really flirting. He asks Craig how the trip went for him and says he appreciates him not bugging Whitney since he went out on a limb for him. He flirts some more with the masseuse.

It’s time for the Charleston Cup, but no Craig. That’s because he’s still in bed. Landon calls Shep to see if he’s coming, but his grandfather passed away and he has to go to Alabama. He says his grandfather lived a wonderful life to the age of 94 and it will be more of a celebration of his life than a funeral.

JD complains to Cameran that he had to do everything himself because Craig is late. Actually, Craig isn’t sounding too good. He has a sinus infection and he’s coughing and hacking like crazy. Danni gives us the information that a few years ago, there were only five whiskey distilleries in the US and now there are 700. There’s only one for me. It’s called Wild Turkey. When they arrive, JD whines some more.

Everyone complains about how cold it is, which is a first since I’ve been watching this show. It’s usually a million degrees there. JD makes a speech and thanks everyone except Craig. I don’t blame Craig for getting lackadaisical with JD. He’s not exactly the most encouraging guy on the planet. He talks to Craig during the match or race or whatever the blip it is. Craig says he’d thought he had everything in place. In his interview, he says he feels like JD has taken advantage of him and working with him wasn’t going to be his forever, just a way to get back in Charleston.

Thomas asks Kathryn if she wants him to spend the night, but she says just picking her up in the morning will be fine. Thomas says he’s always wanted a big, traditional family and a house filled with laughter. He says he still loves and cares for Kathryn, but doesn’t think it will ever work. She asks how he’s feeling about tomorrow, and he says a little scared and apprehensive. She says she thinks they’re doing a good job of being friends right now. He says he’ll be there for her, and it’s probably the first time I’ve actually liked him.

It’s time to go to the hospital. Fastest delivery ever. And quite a tiny baby. Thomas talks about Stephen Spielberg saying his greatest creation was his children. He tells the baby not to make the same dumb mistakes he did.

Next time, Cameran is worried about not wanting children, the new baby comes home, Craig gets called out on not taking the bar exam, Landon confesses that she might love Shep and Shep does not look thrilled.

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