June 12, 2016 – No Shahs, Just a Throne Game

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Because I watched the Tonys – what a shame Hamilton was such a loser – hahaha! – just kidding – congratulations to them – I only saw the first half of Shahs of Sunset. No doubt I’ll catch up with them later, but the takeaway point I was left with was that Tommy is done with MJ. What? He took his clothes and everything. I thought they were making babies together, and now this? Quel disappointment. I also don’t want Vida to be right.

Game of Thrones

We’re back at that play about the Lannisters. Lady Crane has taken Arya’s advice and put more anger in her monologue. The crowd goes wild. And I keep thinking about that carrot cake in my refrigerator.

Lady Crane is about to have her usual apres-monologue booze, when she hears Arya backstage. Arya is practically bleeding to death. Lady Crane dresses her wounds and tells Arya how she came to learn nursing; she was always stitching up her bad boy boyfriends. Lady Crane asks Arya to come with the troupe, but Arya say she can’t. She says there’s someone with no name after her. They talk for a while and Lady Crane gives Arya something to help her sleep.

A bunch of guys sit by a fire in the forest, jackassing around. I guess they’re the guys who killed The Hound’s peeps because he strolls right up and slaughters them.

Cool! It’s the market in Meereen. I’d love to haggle there. A woman makes a speech to a small crowd about how they should support Dany and wait for her. Tyrion and Varys stroll through the market. Tyrion hopes that Varys is right about his mission. Varys says if he doesn’t come back Tyrion will know he was wrong. That’s the spirit! Tyrion says he’ll miss Varys, and they part company.

The High Sparrow sends messengers to ask for Cersei. She says he can come see her, but the head messenger insists. Cersei says the Sparrow promised she could stay in the Red Keep until her trial, but the messenger says, oh no he didn’t. The Mountain comes out in his armor. The messenger says if Cersei doesn’t come willingly, there will be violence. Cersei says she chooses violence and The Mountain makes quick work of one of the messengers. Cersei tells the pretty startled speaker of the group that the Sparrow can come visit her any time.

A bunch of soldiers approach Brienne and Pod. She says she’s there to talk to Jaime and says she has his sword. At the camp, Bron goofs on Pod and then wonders if Brienne and Jaime are doing the nasty in the tent. Bron offers to give Pod fighting lessons. He immediately smacks Pod and says lesson number one is to understand that everyone wants to hit you.

Jaime and Brienne talk in the tent. She tells him about Sansa and says she’s come for The Blackfish. She tells Jaime that Sansa intends to take back her seat at Winterfell. She says he’s a knight and she knows there’s honor in him. and that he should take Riverrun without bloodshed. She says she’ll help him if he helps her. Jaime tells her The Blackfish is more stubborn than she is, but all right. Brienne asks for his word that if she helps him take Riverrun, he’ll give them safe passage. He agrees.

Brienne gives Oathkeeper to Jaime, saying that he gave it to her for a purpose and she’s achieved the purpose. He says it’s hers and always will be. Brienne tells him that if The Blackfish doesn’t surrender, honor compels her to fight on his side. Jaime says he understands and hopes it doesn’t come to that.

The Blackfish tells Brienne that he hasn’t seen Sansa since she was a kid and he doesn’t care. She tells him that Jaime is the one who sent her to get Sansa and she’s sworn to protect Sansa until she dies. She shows him the letter. He says he doesn’t have enough men to help Sansa take Winterfell. Brienne says he still has more than Sansa does. The Blackfish says he has his own home to defend and if Jaime wants the castle, he’ll have to take it. Brienne tells Pod to send Sansa a message that she failed.

Cersei is told that there’s to be a royal announcement in the throne room, but her place is in the gallery. Ouch! Tommen speaks about the faith and the crown, and how the Father judges them all. He announces when Loras’s and Cersei’s trials will be, adding there will be no more trial by combat. Uh-oh, there goes Cersei’s plan. He says it isn’t fair and helps the defendant to escape judgment, which I have to agree is true.

A maester sidles up to Cersei. He says he’s investigated a rumor and it’s about to blow the lid off the place. I’m paraphrasing.

Tyrion tells Greyworm and Missandei that Meereen has been reborn. Neither one of them is a drinker, but he insists they have a drink with him. He toasts to Dany and says anyone not drinking is disrespectful to their queen. Greyworm isn’t impressed with fermentation. Tyrion says he’d like to have his own vineyard and call his wine The Imp’s Delight. He tells a three-guys-walk-into-a-bar joke, but neither one of them get it. Missandei is liking the wine and Tyrion asks her to tell a joke. After she does, Greyworm tells her it’s the worst joke he’s ever heard. They start to relax and laugh a little, and suddenly Greyworm jumps up and runs out.

A load of ships are coming in and Missandei says the masters are back for their property.

Jaime apologizes to Edmure for the way the Freys treated him. Edmure says his uncle will never surrender the castle, so Jaime is wasting his time. Jaime says The Blackfish is an old guy and Edmure has a son now. Edmure says he’s never seen his son. Jaime says going against the crown has consequences. They go back and forth with Edmure finally calling Jaime an evil man. He asks how Jaime lives with himself.

Jaime says Edmure’s sister once hit him in the head with a rock and they sort of laugh. Jaime says he admired Catelyn. Edmure tells Jaime not to talk about her. Jaime says she was a lot like Cersei and would do anything to protect her children. Edmure asks what he really wants. Jaime says he loves Cersei and she needs him. He says he’ll do whatever he can to take Riverrun and get back to her. He says none of them mean anything to him except her. He’ll kill all the Tullys if he has to.

Edmure approaches the castle, saying he’s the rightful Lord of Riverrun and demands entry. The Blackfish tells the gatekeeper not to let him in, but the gatekeeper says he’s sworn to serve the Lord of Riverrun. The Blackfish says he’s not obeying the Lord of Riverrun; he’s obeying Jaime Lannister. The Blackfish says he’ll have his head first and the gatekeeper says The Blackfish is not the Lord of Riverrun. The Blackfish puts his sword away, since he can’t argue with that, and the drawbridge is lowered.

Edmure goes inside, saying nothing to The Blackfish. He goes upstairs and is welcomed home. He tells the gatekeeper that everyone is to lay down their arms and to open the gates. Jaime looks at the Freys like, ah-ha (in Nelson voice), I was right. The soldiers enter Riverrun. Edmure says to hand The Blackfish over to the Freys for poetic justice.

Brienne and Pod are leaving. Brienne tells The Blackfish to come with them, but he says it’s his family home and he hasn’t had a proper sword fight in years. I give him props for his chutzpah.

Jaime is told The Blackfish died fighting. He looks out over the castle wall and sees Brienne and Pod leaving in a boat. He and Brienne wave to each other. I guess they’ll always be friends, eh?

Meanwhile, Meereen is being bombarded with fire bombs from the ships. Greyworm is arguing with Tyrion. Greyworm says the army needs to wait for the masters to come to them and not go to the beach. Suddenly, a bunch of Ninja type guys come in and bow down. Dany has arrived.

The Hound hears people in the forest. He sees some guys about to be hung. The hangmen are Beric and Thoros from the Brotherhood Without Banners. The Hound realizes the hangees are part of the gang who killed Brother Ray and the others, and finds out they were also part of the Brotherhood. He wants to deal with them, but compromises with taking out two. He wants to use his ax, but Beric says they only do hanging. Again there’s a compromise where The Hound can cut off some fingers or something. He also takes a pair of boots from one of the dead guys.

The Hound shares supper with his old friends. Beric asks him to join them. The Hound says he tried that and it didn’t work. Beric tells him they need good men to help them. The Hound says last time they met, Beric wanted him dead. Beric says that the Lord of Light spared The Hound for a reason. He tells The Hound he can still help more than he’s harmed and it’s not too late.

Arya is recovering at Lady Crane’s place. A guy stops by while Arya is sleeping and Lady Crane gets a vial from the top of a cabinet.

Arya is startled awake and finds Lady Crane totally butchered. The Waif appears and says if Arya had done her job, Lady Crane would have died painlessly. Arya jumps from the balcony and runs, The Waif behind her. She’s pretty freakin’ fast too. They run through Braavos. Finally Arya looses The Waif, but gets herself lost.

Arya walks through a steam-room into the market and there’s The Waif. Arya jumps over a wall and takes an amazing tumble down a whole lot of stairs, upsetting quite a few merchants. She’s hurt, but manages to crawl away, The Waif trailing her. Why, I don’t know, but Arya goes through an alleyway where there’s no way out. The Waif follows with a knife.

Arya is crouched in a dark room. The Waif closes the door and tells Arya it will be over soon. Arya has Needle, but the Waif says that won’t help her.

Jaqen sees a trail of blood leading to the pool. He goes downstairs to where the faces are. He sees The Waif’s face among them. Behind him, Arya says he told The Waif not to kill her. He says yes and that finally a girl is no one. She says the girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell and she’s going home. Jaqen smiles. Kind of.

Next time, Jon is ready for war, and war it is. Looks like a doozie.

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