Monthly Archives: July 2016

July 29, 2016 – I Raise You Two GHs & Three Quotes


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Lulu asks Daphne if she knew Helena, but she says she only knew of her and once spoke to her briefly. Daphne leaves and Laura tells Doc that as soon as the antibiotics come, he’ll be okay. He says he doesn’t think so because he has the fastest moving infection ever. Laura tells him he doesn’t want to quit until he can use this experience for his next book.

Sonny asks Alexis why she lied. He wants to know when she was going to tell him that Parker was a woman. Alexis confirms that Parker was the professor that Kristina propositioned, but thought it was Kristina’s place to tell him. She says Kristina is an adult who told her something in confidence. He asks if she told Julian. She says she doesn’t want to discuss him, and says Sonny is just angry that Kristina didn’t confide in him.

Kristina goes to the coffee shop. She wants to talk to Aaron, but first, he gives her a letter a woman dropped off. She says it’s from her mentor and goes off by herself to read it. She’s all happy, but we already know it’s Parker’s kiss off goodbye letter.

Nathan calls Maxie, leaving a message that they might have been wrong about Claudette. He says to call him before she does something they both regret.

Claudette claims her software can trace untraceable items (really now?) and the malware is traced back to Maxie’s computer. Gee, why don’t we all have this software? Nina asks why Maxie would do something like this, and Maxie says because of Claudette. She says Nina doesn’t trust her either since she hired Curtis to dig into her background. She claims that Claudette set them up because Maxie is going to marry the man Claudette drove away. She leaves and Nina tells Claudette that Maxie will be reprimanded. Claudette says she’s glad it happened because she realizes there’s no place for her there.

Lulu thinks the address is no coincidence and says Helena wanted her to come there. Ava says it’s not all about her. They hear noises in the bushes and Dante draws his gun. He tells everyone to get down, but it’s only Jason and Sam. Jason says he thinks they found a way off the island. Is it called a boat?

Sam says they saw someone they didn’t recognize and Lulu tells her about Daphne. Sam goes over to Doc, who’s not doing too well. Jason says they found a jet. Ava asks if anybdy can fly one and he says he thinks he can. Laura says Doc has to get to a hospital and they all agree to take the jet. Laura wants to wait for Daphne to get back with the drugs.

Sonny says he does the best he can to put his children first. Alexis apologizes for implying otherwise. She says she respects his role in Kristina’s life, but thought that any further information should come from her. He mentions how he found out and Alexis says if it makes him feel any better, Kristina is glad she finally told him. Sonny thinks Parker is taking advantage of Kristina and that she’s going to get hurt. Alexis suggests they talk to her calmly.

Kristina sits crying over the letter. Aaron asks her what’s wrong. She says it’s embarrassing. She says she’d asked her mentor if she should go back to school, but was told there’s no place for her anymore. Aaron says he’s sorry it didn’t work out, but he can’t say he’s disappointed that she’ll be staying in Port Charles.

Claudette tells Maxie that they have more in common than she thinks, and says Maxie liked her before she knew who she was. She says she got another job offer and she’s going to take it. She says she’s glad she finally met Nina while she’s conscious, mentioning how she came to visit with Nathan when Nina was in a coma. Nina pretty much hustles her to the elevator, saying their door is always open. When she’s gone, Nina tells Maxie she did the right thing.

Ava says she’s going to the plane. Sam says she’s going by herself because they’re waiting for Doc. Ava suggests Jason and Dante stay behind until Doc gets the antibiotics, saying it’s better not to be in a large group anyway. They hear someone coming and duck down again. It might have been a good idea to move Doc to a less conspicuous spot.

It’s Daphne with the supplies. They give Doc the pills.

Aaron asks what Kristina was going to tell him, but she says it’s unimportant now. She asks him to hold her. Sonny and Alexis show up. Alexis asks if they can speak with Kristina alone. Alexis asks what’s wrong and Kristina says Parker left her after they’d decided to give things a shot. She wonders why Parker would suddenly change her mind.

Maxie says she thought Nina was furious with her. Nina says she is and now is not the time to screw things up. She says if Maxie does it again, she’ll fire her. She adds that while she doesn’t like the method, she’s down with the motive. She says she could see in Claudette’s eyes that she’s still in love with Nathan.

Claudette knocks on Nathan’s door.

Doc has a drink and Ava says they should get going. Dante and Jason half carry Doc. Laura thanks Daphne, saying she won’t forget her. Daphne watches with a weird face as they leave. Did anyone actually check to see what the pills were? Honestly, for a bunch of spies and adventurers, everyone is very lax.

The group gets to the jet and Jason asks Dante to co-pilot. I hope they checked the gas tank. I don’t trust their judgment at this point. Doc tells Laura she’s his favorite doctor.

Sonny tells Kristina they have her back and always will. She says she gets that now. She says she had a great guy and blew it by going after someone who brushed her off in the first place. Sonny tells Kristina that she’s their daughter and they’re proud of her. She hugs Sonny and cries.

Nina says she would have done the same thing and starts talking about her own situation. Maxie says she and Nathan love each other and she trusts him.

Claudette tells Nathan that Maxie sabotaged her. She says it’s obvious she and Maxie can’t work together, and for his sister’s sake, she doesn’t want the magazine to suffer. She’s booked the next flight out of Port Charles. Have an airport, do they?

Jason starts the plane.

Claudette says she got a job offer in Manhattan. Someone please tell me why on earth she’d even want to bother getting revenge or whatever in Port Charles when she could be working and living in Manhattan? Nathan wants them to straighten things out, but Claudette says at least this time they can get closure and leave on better terms.

Maxie says she and Nathan can’t blame outside obstacles for any problems they have. She thanks Nina and says she’s going to try and make everything right.

Sonny says Aaron seems concerned about Kristina and she tells him that she gave him a story about school. Alexis asks if she has any feelings for Aaron and Kristina says if she can let Parker go, they might have something. Alexis says she can only find happiness within herself. Okay, Confucius. Kristina decides to talk to Aaron. Sonny and Alexis pat themselves on the back for being great parents. Sonny is glad Parker is gone. Alexis says she thinks she’s done something to make Kristina hate her again.

Kristina tells Aaron she hasn’t been honest and she has to be if they have any future. She says last night she slept with someone else. Aaron says that hurts, but they never had a conversation about being exclusive. He asks if she’s been seeing someone else, and she says no, it was her professor, the same one who got her kicked out. She says that’s what the letter was really about. He asks if the letter was from a woman and Kristina says yes. Did he assume that from the fancy handwriting?

Doc tells Laura she has beautiful eyes and she says the meds must be kicking in. He goes on about how she’s a mystery and she tells him to rest. He thanks her and she says he’d do the same for her. He says for the past few years, he’s been sleep-walking, trying to salvage a marriage that didn’t work, but she brought him back. He says he wants her to know in case he doesn’t make it. She tells him not to talk like that.

Lulu ponders the address, but Ava says sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Ha-ha! She says thank God they’re off the island since she thought they were going to die there.

Suddenly, the fuel light comes on. What did I say? They’re leaking fuel and Jason thinks Valentin must have tampered with the tank. He tells Dante and Sam that they have to land. Dante is like, we’re over the water, but Jason says he’ll find an island. Greece is full of them.

Alexis tells Sonny about her talk with Parker. He says he would have done the same thing. He says right now Kristina is heartbroken, but she’s accepted the relationship is over, so he wants to keep it that way.

Aaron asks if Kristina is gay. She says no, and he asks if he’s just a guy to show her parents. She says she likes him and she’s attracted to him, and she thought there was something there before she messed it up. She asks if they can at least be friends and see where it goes. He says he has to think about things.

Maxie gets the message from Nathan. Claudette’s tells Nathan that her car was canceled (no explanation) and Nathan offers to drive her to the airport. He says Maxie will understand. Claudette thanks him, saying he’s always the hero. Maxie calls back, but Nathan’s phone is sitting on the desk. Really? He’s a cop and left his phone at home? She leaves a message saying it really doesn’t matter what Claudette thinks and feels; they love each other and nothing will change that. I don’t suppose he’ll be getting that message.

Jason says when they land, Sam is to get everyone off the plane and he’ll check things out with the fuel. Lulu gives everyone instructions for landing because she’s a flight attendant. Ever the optimist, Ava says they’re going to die.

It’s a rough ride and Jason tells them to brace themselves.

Tomorrow, Nathan’s car breaks down, Curtis says he wants nothing from Jordan, and Valerie frisks Franco. Say that three times real fast.

General Hospital – Friday

Amy 2.0 tells Valerie that Franco was holding a vial of something when he came out of a patient’s room. Valerie tracks him down and searches him. No surprise, he’s ticklish. She wants to know what he was doing in Miss Prescott’s room.

Jordan sees Curtis at the coffee shop. She tells him she took TJ to see Shawn. She says it meant a lot to the three of them to be a family and she thanks him again. He says he doesn’t need her gratitude or anything else from her. She says she needs something from him.

Maxie is on her laptop working. She checks her phone. Nathan is late and she has no messages. She blows out the candles she had lit for a romantic evening. Nathan’s phone rings and she realizes he left it. She sees the photo in the trash and wonders if Claudette was there and if she’s with Nathan.

Yes, she is. The car has broken down. Nathan is puzzled as to what’s wrong. Claudette pretends to be concerned. Nathan is totally annoyed and Claudette says it’s all her fault.

Maxie calls Dante, but Nathan wasn’t scheduled. She tells him that Nathan left his phone and she’s trying to figure out what’s going on.

Claudette says she was afraid she’d miss her flight and wanted to avoid traffic by taking a back road. Nathan is starting to think nothing is a coincidence and says funny how her phone battery died too. (It didn’t.)

Griff asks Elizabeth how Jake is doing. She says he’s doing great and she thanks him for the help he gave her after her house blew up. He says people often come into our lives when we need them, that it’s a gift. She tells him about Franco and asks his opinion. He says he tries to give people the benefit of the doubt and asks if she holds Franco’s past against him.

Franco says he was giving the patient a ceramic she’d made in art therapy class. He says he found the vial on the floor and thought since it was medical waste, he should pick it up. He says maybe instead of tickling him, Valerie should nominate him for employee of the month. Valerie asks Amy how the patient is.

Elizabeth says she wants to see the best in Franco and they’re going on a date tonight. Griff tells her he gets why she’s asking now, and tells her that she looks lovely. She does. Nice wrap-around dress. He asks if she needs a sign or blessing, but she says she doesn’t think anything will make her feel confident.

Amy says the patient is sleeping and there was a ceramic piece where Franco said it would be. There’s some chit-chat and Franco leaves. Valerie tells Amy to keep an eye on him, and that she’s going to have the vial tested.

Curtis tells Jordan she must be desperate. She apologizes for how she shut him down and waved his drug problem in his face. Curtis says he knows he disappointed a lot of people, including himself. Jordan says she could say the same about herself. She reviews the whole Shawn-is-TJ’s-father thing to bring new viewers up to speed. She says she takes responsibility for the break-up of her family, and that the visit to Shawn was freeing. She also realized that TJ is missing out on a male figure in his life. She says it’s not possible for Shawn to be a strong, male presence in TJ’s life, but Curtis can be

Maxie checks at the hospital to see if Nathan is there. She tells Griff what’s going on. Griff asks if Nathan might be in danger and asks if someone is threatening him. She says someone is threatening them as a couple.

Claudette tells Nathan that she thought they could all peacefully coexist, but obviously she threatened Maxie, who in turn threatened her professional life. Half-sarcastically, she apologizes for all the inconvenience.

Curtis says he loves TJ and wouldn’t mind, but Jordan has always kept them from being close. He says just 24-hours ago, he came looking for forgiveness and she wasn’t having it.

Griff and Maxie go to the coffee shop. She tells him that she did something sneaky and underhanded, and it boomeranged. She says it worked out for the best though, since the threatening person is gone, but now Nathan is missing. She thinks she brought it on herself. She wonders why Griff told Nathan he deserved to be shot and how a priest would even be in that position.

Nathan says he’s worried about Maxie. Claudette is like, yeah don’t worry about me at all, and then “trips” twisting her ankle.

Franco gives Elizabeth a flower and babbles about Ralph Waldo Emerson. Elizabeth asks if he’s nervous and he says yes. He wants to surprise her with where they’re going. She says she doesn’t like surprises, and he says she’s just like everyone else; she doesn’t trust him.

Amy checks on Miss Prescott again and calls code blue.

Claudette makes up some nonsense about not being the same since she fell when they were camping. Seriously? You have ankle issues and wear 6-inch heels? Nathan says when she had the camping fall, he thought he’d lost her. She says she didn’t want to leave him, and that’s how she managed to stop the fall. They each say the break-up was their fault. Bleh. I see where this is going.

Griff says he doesn’t blame the shooter, but that’s all the information Maxie is getting. She says it sounds like he could use some forgiveness too.

Jordan says she’s made so many mistakes, she can’t count them anymore. She says even Andre called her on keeping her feelings to herself. She says TJ has a million questions, but she can’t even explain things to herself. She says TJ needs someone he can turn to, a man he can respect. Curtis says she doesn’t trust or respect him. Jordan says TJ does, and she trusts him with her son. Curtis agrees to mentor TJ. He says Jordan called needing something from him, but he got much more. He says he has his family back and it’s the best he’s felt in a long time.

Valerie wonders why they didn’t hear the monitors. Amy tells Valerie someone must have turned them off, adding the patient was due to be released. The doctor says they won’t know what the cause of death is until the autopsy, but it looks like the other deaths. Valerie wants to seal the room off as a crime scene.

Franco and Elizabeth go to The Floating Rib. He asks why she said she was ready to go on a date with him when she clearly isn’t?

Claudette asks how Nathan can blame himself for her cheating. He says it takes two to make a marriage work and it takes two to break one, and he owns the lack of attention he gave her. There’s a sound from the woods and Nathan calls out, saying he’s armed. I fully expect it to be the geek who fixed Claudette’s computer.

Griff says maybe he needs to hang on to the guilt to make sure he doesn’t make the same mistake. He says he was selfish and reckless and betrayed everything he believes.

Curtis asks what was up with Jordan and Andre at the bar. She says that he was right. If she wants them to be close, she needs to open up more. Curtis suggests maybe the problem is Andre. Jordan’s phone rings. It’s Valerie, and Jordan has to leave for the hospital, since the police commissioner is the only one available. Curtis says he’s coming along to see Valerie.

Franco asks again why Elizabeth agreed to go out with him. She says Ric was being annoying about how she puts her boys at risk, so she called Franco about the date in front of him to annoy him back. Franco is insulted and starts to leave, but she asks him to stay, She tells him she’s flawed and he always gives her the benefit of the doubt and she wanted to do the same. He says that’s not enough, and he wanted to take her somewhere special, but if she doesn’t trust him, there’s no point in continuing. She says she doesn’t want to hear him complain about how lousy their date was, so she’s game for whatever he planned.

Griff brings Maxie some decaf, since she’s jazzed already. She says she’s not supposed to have caffeine anyway because of the heart transplant, and she tells him that story. He tells her she has a good heart and she says not after what she did today. He says she should just move on and try to do better, and she asks why doesn’t he give himself the same advice. She tells him to stop blaming himself for what some violent, crazy person did with a gun.

Claudette is hiding in the car and Nathan joins her. She thinks it’s a bear (geek in a bear suit?) and Nathan says he can make some noise. Claudette says she can do better and puts on the radio. What a shock. It’s their wedding song. This is making me ill.

Amy brings back the test results from the vial and it’s the same drug that was involved with the recent patient deaths.

Franco brings Elizabeth to his art studio. He locks the door and smiles.

On Monday, Ava thinks Jason is dead, only Franco’s fingerprints are on the vial, and Roxie makes an appearance.

Quotes of the Week

If there’s a fire you’re trying to douse, you can’t put it out from inside the house. — Thomas Jefferson in Hamilton

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.Anne Hathaway as Princess Mia Thermopolis in The Princess Diaries

If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing. — Margaret Thatcher

July 27, 2016 – GH on Cassadine Island, Little Women in LA & Wives in NYC


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan and Maxie bask in the afterglow, although for a second I thought he was with another woman, since I’m not used to brunette nuMaxie.

Claudette hasn’t found out about the coffee shop yet, so she sits at the MetroCourt. She pulls the framed wedding photo of her and Nathan out of her purse. I guess she carries it with her instead of one of those pesky wallet photos. Why fool around?

Diane and Alexis meet at the coffee shop. Diane asks what the face is all about and tells her it’s no time to have cold feet. Alexis doesn’t think she can face the arraignment. Diane tells her to put her big girl pants on, because if she shows up with her divorce attorney, it will send a strong message to the bar. She asks if Alexis still has feelings for Julian and Alexis shows her the divorce papers, telling her that she already delivered a set to Julian.

Scotty tells Julian bail doesn’t look good. Julian was hoping Ava would be back by now and helping him out. Sonny shows up. He says payback is just getting started. For the first time since he joined the show, I’m on Team Sonny.

The group wanders around Cassadine Island. Doc has to stop and Ava says they should keep moving. Doc says to go on without him. Puh-leeze. Shouldn’t they have phone reception by now? I distinctly remember Valentin using a cell phone in the tunnels yesterday.

Laura says no one is going anywhere. She asks Dante if he had any medical training. Doc is like, excuse me, I’m an actual doctor, and asks for a mirror so he can see the wound. He says it’s not good and the bullet needs to come out now. I’ve never been a doctor, or played one on TV, but it doesn’t look that bad to me. And it’s pretty far away from any vital organs.

Alexis says she doesn’t think she can do it. Diane says she won’t be alone, but I’m questioning the outfit Diane is going to wear to court, a colorful hoodie and denim skirt. Is the dress code more lax at an arraignment?

Sonny says he’s a concerned citizen wanting to see justice served and laughs about Julian’s recovery. He says he’s been seeing a lot of Anna lately, emphasizing her connection to Duke, and the best thing would be for Julian to rot in prison. He says Julian will have to watch himself for the rest of his life since he has so many enemies. Paul comes out and says there won’t be any press, but private citizens are okay. Sonny wonders if Julian realizes how badly he screwed himself.

Dante finds a knife and Lulu produces some ancient first aid kit or sewing kit or something. Dante says he’ll take out the bullet, but the others need to hold Doc down. Doc starts yelling before Dante even does anything. Doc says Dante will have to hold him down and have Laura take out the bullet. He tells her to put the booze she’s holding on the wound. Um…maybe he should drink some? Doc gives Laura instructions. Oddly enough, Doc barely makes a peep as Laura cuts into him.

Nina calls Claudette. She tells Claudette she needs to come in because the next issue of Crimson has to be perfect due to Julian’s mess.

Maxie – who is wearing a black knit dress with white birds on it that I’m in love with – goes on to Nathan about Claudette. She says she should have listened to Nathan and Nina and gotten rid of her when she found out Claudette used a fake name when she applied for the job. Nathan brings up the shooting, but Maxie says she doesn’t think Claudette wants him to go to jail. She thinks Claudette wants to stop their wedding and says Claudette needs to go. She says they’ll have to fire her for performance problems and shows Nathan a flash drive Spinelli sent to her. She says they’ll talk about it later.

Laura gets the bullet out. So come on, Doc, let’s get going. Laura asks if he can take a little more pain and he says he doesn’t have a choice. Laura gets a needle and fishing line (?) from Lulu. Ava tells Dante they’re sitting ducks. He says Jason and Sam will be back soon. Ava is afraid that Valentin might have stopped them, and wishes they’d taken the guards phones. (You mean to tell me not one of them took a phone?) She says Julian could call in some favors. Dante tells her about Julian’s arrest.

The judge lists the charges and asks Julian if he understands. Julian keeps silent. Alexis walks in with Diane and he says he understands.

Nina is on the phone. She says if the charges against Julian turn out to be true, Crimson will have nothing to do with him anymore. Maxie sneaks into the office and does something with the flash drive and the computer.

Claudette shows up at Nathan’s. She says they need more closure. She says she wanted to speak with Maxie privately because she hasn’t been totally honest, but since he’s there, she’ll be honest with him first. She pulls that big honking picture out of her purse again.

Paul states his case about denying Julian bail. Scotty says nothing has been proven, yet the DA claims Julian is a flight risk. He wants Julian to be released on bail into the custody of his wife. I make a noise out loud. Sometimes I watch GH like some people watch football.

Ava refuses to believe Julian tried to kill Alexis. She says she should be back in Port Charles helping him and tending to Avery. Lulu approaches and Ava explains how she ended up with Nicholas. She says at first it was a fun game, but she got to know Nicholas. She tells Lulu how terrible he felt for lying to his family. Lulu says she never stopped loving him and Ava says he was special. Laura joins them, saying Doc is okay for now, but it wasn’t the most germ free scenario. She wonders where Jason and Sam are. Ava says she’s sorry about Nicholas and talks about how much she liked him. She says he was a complicated, but good man. Laura says if he hadn’t come back to the island, he’d still be alive, and the island is cursed. Lulu thinks about the earring she found.

They hear someone coming and hide. Yeah, just leave Doc out there in the open though. Geez, after all these people have been through in their lives, you’d think they’d be a little better at this.

A girl pops out and Dante asks who she is. She says her name is Daphne and she lives on the island. Dante asks if anyone sent her there. She says no, but Ava doesn’t trust her.

Nathan wonders why Claudette is walking around with the photo. She claims she suddenly found it in her bag (okay). She makes up a bunch of nonsense and says she realized she’s over him and wants to move on with her life. She says she wanted to send a clear message and drops he photo into a garbage can. The glass shatters. She says the only thing she wants from him is closure. He says he needs to talk to Maxie. Claudette says she’s got to get to work and will leave that to him.

Maxie continues to mess around on the computer, downloading malware to corrupt Claudette’s files.

Diane flies up to the bench and says Julian has terrorized her client and tried to murder her. She says he’s delusional. Julian gets up and starts whining about how he and Alexis love each other. Is he on the same show as everyone else? The judge tells Julian if he doesn’t knock it off, she’ll call him in contempt and have him restrained. She says there will be no bail.

Scotty tells Julian thanks for ticking off the judge. Julian says bail wasn’t going to happen anyway. Scotty asks what the floor show was for. Alexis asks Julian if he’s nuts. He doesn’t answer that, but tells her he still loves her and thinks she still loves him too. She says he destroyed all of it and she’s there to make sure he pays for what he’s done. He says it’s never going to be over for them.

Maxie says she hopes Claudette is ready to work because there’s a lot of pressure on this issue. Nina comes in with Claudette’s work and says it’s a disaster and can’t go to print. Claudette says someone must have messed with it. Maxie asks if she’s been hacked. Nina tells Claudette she picked a bad day to screw up and calls Maxie into the office. Nina wonders if Claudette gave them someone else’s work when she interviewed. She says she has no choice but to fire Claudette and hire a temp. They go back out and Claudette has a geek working on her computer.

Daphne says she doesn’t want any trouble and promises she won’t tell anyone she saw them. Doc groans and Laura says he has a fever. Daphne offers some antibiotics, but Ava is afraid it’s a trap. Daphne says hers is the only house on the street. When she mentions the street name, Lulu says, omg.

Nathan calls Maxie, leaving a message about her stopping by and saying that they might have been wrong about Claudette. The geek fixes Claudette’s computer. Claudette talks about some cryptic email that was sent when she was out of the office. They hit reply and it goes back to Maxie’s computer. I don’t really get this and I’m pretty computer savvy.

Scotty is like, that went well, and tells Julian that Alexis has nothing but contempt for him. Julian says Alexis is saying one thing, but her eyes say another. Yuk. Scotty says the police have a recording of his confession, but Julian says they’ll see about that. I hope they made copies.

Sonny asks Alexis why she lied to him.

Lulu asks what the exact address is. When Daphne tells her, Lulu says it’s the return address of an empty envelope she received in the mail.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Alexis about Parker, Claudette wants to say good-by, and Doc thinks he’s not long for this world.

Little Women: LA

I missed the first couple of this season’s episodes, but the main points are: No one knows where Briana is, Elena has preeclampsia, and Terra has decided not to find out the baby’s gender or if it has dwarfism until it comes.

Terra, Tonya and Christy also did a panel at Drag-con. where Christy and Terra buried the hatchet. Sort of.

The news is out. Briana is in the hospital with a bowel obstruction. Facetiming with her, Elena asks if she’d like anyone to visit and Matt says no from the background. When Elena hangs up, she tells Preston the whole thing is kind of sad and because of Matt, none of Briana’s friends or family know what’s going on.

Jasmine and Tonya are taking a workout class. Afterward, Jasmine asks about Kerwin. Tonya says he’s on his way to move in. Their daughter is returning from college as well. They discuss Matt and Briana. Briana has been ignoring Jasmine and Christy’s calls, and Christy thinks she’s in an abusive relationship. Tonya tells Jasmine that if she wants a relationship with Briana, she needs to step back. She adds not to let Christy’s opinion affect things.

The girls get together for dinner. Elena gives them an update on Briana. Jasmine is upset at being cut out of Briana’s life just because she doesn’t like Matt. Christy says Briana’s family has been contacting Christy in hopes of finding something out. Busybody Christy told them about the rumors that Matt has been seeing a transgender woman. There’s a discussion about Matt. Jasmine feels like he’s isolating Briana. Tonya tries to explain they need to back off because that’s who Briana wants with her. Jasmine gets upset and leaves.

Christy goes dog bed shopping with her mother and fills her in on the Briana discussion. She gets weepy over thinking that Briana might not even be getting her texts. She says Briana is losing her identity.

Jasmine and Chris are doing some gardening. It’s rare for Chris to get an afternoon off. Jasmine asks him about the railroad, but he hasn’t gotten scheduled yet. He says it feels wrong for Jasmine to be working so hard while he waits for his dream job. Jasmine says it works for them and she doesn’t care what anyone says.

Jasmine says with her type of dwarfism and hypothyroidism, her health is always of concern. Whenever she gets sick, she has to stay a step ahead so it doesn’t turn into something else. She wants to try and strengthen her immune system.

Briana is home. She says she was on her way out for a spa day with the girls and just fell over in pain. The pressure of the baby has caused her intestines to not work properly. She tells Matt it was the most terrifying experience of her life. She and Matt discuss how early on, the doctor said there might be a choice between saving her or the baby. Matt tells her they’ll make it through this.

Matt says when Briana first went into the hospital, he called Preston and Christy. He was trying to head things off, but then started getting texts and threats from Briana’s family. Briana is annoyed that Christy brought her family into it. She says she gave Christy another chance because she promised to stay away from Briana’s family. Now she doesn’t even want Christy having her new address.

Terra wants to make sure everything is clean before she has the baby, and that includes bathing the cat. Joe thinks it’s a little extreme and possibly insulting to the cat. Zelda the cat certainly takes it better than most of mine ever had. OMG – don’t put her near your face, Terra!

It’s move in day for Kerwin. Tonya has a few things to say about the clothing he’s brought. She can’t believe they’re actually doing this after all these years. She says she wants them both to put 100% into the relationship. Kerwin says she needs to cut all ties with old relationships. Tonya’s ex is also her business partner and Kerwin is not down with that. She says he still has some stuff of hers that slipped her mind, and Kerwin isn’t thrilled.

Jasmine visits Briana, bearing flowers and a gift. Briana reached out to her, but Jasmine is uncomfortable with Matt around and thinks Briana won’t be honest with her. She tells Briana she was hurt that she Facetimed with Elena, but not her. She says Briana is her number one girl. In her interview, Briana says Elena and Preston have always been supportive. Jasmine says she’s still having a hard time with what Matt did and she worries about Briana. Briana tells her that Matt was with her 24/7 while she was sick and is being the husband he’s supposed to be. In her interview, Jasmine says she’ll take Briana’s word for it, but Matt has a long way to go to prove it to her.They discuss Christy’s nose being in Briana’s family business. Briana says she’s done with Christy.

Jasmine brings Chris breakfast in bed, along with a note from their new baby. Her way of telling him that she’s pregnant. She’s concerned about the health complications, since she’s already having some issues. She tells Chris she has to talk to the doctor. He says if she has to be on bed-rest, he’ll do whatever is needed. She says she knows they’ll make it with him in her corner. In her interview, she says whatever comes their way, she knows they’ll get through it. I vote to put Chris in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum. A man who actually cares.

Tonya’s daughter, Angelique, calls a family meeting, saying she wants to establish some rules. It’s kind of silly, like she tells them no sex in the house if she’s there. She asks some questions like if they want to get married and why he’s suddenly moving in. When Tonya and Kerwin start to kiss, Angelique runs for the hills.

Terra and Jasmine go for a spray tan. Jasmine says Terra is pregnant and asks if that’s a risk. The clerk says during the first trimester, you should be cautious. Jasmine opts out of the tanning, and Terra realizes why. Jasmine is happy that she and Terra will be pregnant together this time. Terra asks if she’s worried about anything and Jasmine says the only thing on her mind is Chris. She’s hoping the railroad calls soon, just in case she ends up on bed-rest.

Briana has emailed Christy to meet her in the park. She says Christy has crossed way over the line and she doesn’t want Christy in her life anymore. Christy brings a housewarming gift and asks how the baby is. Briana says fine, and tells Christy that she’s moved and changed her phone number, but she doesn’t trust Christy with the information. Christy asks if she got her texts and Briana tells her she wasn’t in a position to answer them. Christy tells Briana that her family is worried. Christy asks to talk to Briana alone. Matt says fine, but tells her about the death threats he got from Briana’s family because Christy interfered. Briana tells Christy that Matt didn’t do anything to deserve this and Christy says, yes he has. My jury is still out about Matt, but I do think Christy needs to back off if she wants to salvage this friendship.

Christy claims the threats have nothing to do with her, and Matt says yes they do, since she’s the one who contacted Briana’s family. Matt leaves and Christy says Briana’s family wants to be with her. Briana says Christy broke her promise not to contact them. She says Christy also hired her publicist, and when Briana found out the publicist was being a mole for her family, she dumped her. Christy keeps saying she didn’t go behind Briana’s back, even though it’s obvious she did. Christy says if Briana wants to have an open marriage, that’s her business, and brings up Matt’s sexting. Briana says Christy can hate Matt all she wants, but she asked Christy to do one thing which she couldn’t do and now Christy is dead to her. In her interview, Christy says it’s like Briana has Stockholm Syndrome.

In her interview, Briana says she doesn’t know why Christy is so surprised. She leaves the gift on the park bench.

They don’t give a preview for this show and I’ve always wondered why.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda tells Sonja that Bethenny is sick again and won’t be going to Hawaii. She thinks Miami might be better since it’s not such a long flight. She says The Countess is in Palm Beach, so they can hook up with her too.

The Countess and Ramona join them and Dorinda fills them in on the plan change. In her interview, Ramona complains about not going to Hawaii. The Countess says an engagement party on a friend’s yacht has already been planned and now the girls can come too. The Countess calls Tom to let him know the change in plans. In her interview, Ramona complains about that too. Ramona leaves for a doctor’s appointment. Dorinda says she doesn’t dress like that for the doctor, and maybe Ramona is going to a “personal gynecologist.”

Jules goes shoe shopping. She’s excited about Miami, since her parents aren’t far from there. Ramona and Sonja join her. We look at tons of cute shoes that nobody in their right mind should spend that much money on. Jules has decided to go down a day early to visit with her father, who is out of the hospital and feeling better.

Ramona talks about how The Countess told the press about not caring that Sonja and Ramona went out with Tom before she did. Apparently, they got things mixed up and named Ramona as the friend with benefits. Why anyone should care, I’m not sure. Ramona thinks The Countess shouldn’t have mentioned her at all. Sonja and Jules discuss the three date rule and sloppy seconds.

Bethenny is having the girls over to discuss the Miami trip. Carole shows up with a huge scratch on her face from her boxer’s overzealous greeting. A boxer dog, not a human boxer. Bethenny tells them about the ski trip with Brinn and how it was a good bonding experience.

Dorinda brings up The Countess’s engagement party, and says they’ll be going to Palm Beach first on Friday. Ramona wonders why Tom asked The Countess out when he was still dating her. Why are we still belaboring this point? Bethenny says she’s not going on Friday and reads the text she sent to The Countess. Bethenny talks about having a Mexican party to thank them for their support.

Dorinda calls Carole, who is skeptical about the engagement party, but wants to meet Tom. She admits to being curious as to how it’s going to go with Tom, The Countess, Ramona and Sonja on the same boat.

Jules visits her parents. She’s happy to see her dad up and around again. Her drink is coming out at Whole Foods in a few weeks. She says she didn’t expect to be a business owner, but it’s empowering. Her father tells her how proud he is and jokes that she can take care of him now in his old age. She calls the kids and one of them whines that their father isn’t there yet. She says she’ll call him. She’s annoyed that he’s not filling in the way he was supposed to when she was away. Of course all of this is colored by the fact they’re getting a divorce now. It makes me wonder if any fast editing was done after that announcement was made. Jules tells her parents about the Miami trip and how much the girls fight.

Ramona wants Sonja to carry her bag because she’s a selfish twit. Sonja refuses. Good. The Ramona type, who wants you to wait on them, does not fly with me. I always tell them I’m not their boyfriend. The Countess is getting ready for her guests on the yacht. Jules arrives first. The Countess talks about how happy she is.

Ramona asks Dorinda if The Countess still has a problem with her. Sonja thinks Dorinda is stirring the pot. Ramona and Sonja flirt with the driver, embarrassing Dorinda since he’s their daughters’ age. Ramona is still ticked about what The Countess said to the press and won’t shut up about how she was dating Tom when he asked The Countess out. Dorinda thinks the whole thing isn’t right. Ramona thinks The Countess was deceitful in how she picked up Tom when he was out with someone else.

The girls arrive at the yacht. Sonja picks up a glass of champagne and Ramona takes it out of her hand. The Countess hands her another glass and in her interview, Ramona says she’s a bad influence. We tour the yacht. I actually like it better than the Ionian Princess on Below Deck Mediterranian. It’s nicely decorated, not busy and not garish. The Countess is shocked when Ramona says she doesn’t care what room she’s in.

The girls change into bathing suits while Dorinda talks to The Countess. She tells The Countess about Ramona’s remarks concerning the press. The Countess says she doesn’t want to talk to Ramona and nothing is going to ruin her party. Dorinda asks who’s talking to the press. The Countess says she can talk to whoever she wants, since it’s her story, but doesn’t answer the question.

Ramona asks Sonja to take a picture of her. Carole is the last to arrive. In her interview, she says she and The Countess have had their ups and downs, but she’s genuinely happy for her. The Countess tells everyone about the men who’ve been invited. Ramona asks for a list of the invitees because everything is all about her and she wants to know who she can swoop down on. The Countess says she’s not inviting Ramona to anything anymore.

Bethenny is already in Miami. She talks to a friend about The Countess and Tom, and how he was dating Sonja and Ramona. She says The Countess is the biggest barracuda of all of them. She talks about someone sending her a series of texts that would blow up the engagement, and she thinks there’s a possibility of the wedding being canceled if the news gets out. She says she’s going to have to tell The Countess about it. Oooh, tell us first.

The Countess says Tom’s mother is in town and they’ve been looking at wedding venues. Ramona brings up Tom having dated her and The Countess says he was definitely a player, but it’s all BL – before Lu. She says she was a player too, but they’re a perfect match.

The girls get ready for the party. Tom arrives and puts the moves on The Countess. The rest of them gather in one of the bedrooms and Ramona pumps Sonja for information on the last time she saw Tom and how she’s going to feel tonight. Ramona says it would be too weird for her, since the last time Sonja saw him, they were romping in the sheets. Sonja says it’s fine, but Carole wonders if it won’t be awkward. Sonja says she’s getting emotional. Well, yeah, because these insensitive morons won’t shut up. She says she didn’t know he was seeing The Countess. Ramona says that The Countess knew Tom was seeing her and Sonja is like, wha-a-a-at?

Next time, the party commences, Ramona acts like an idiot, Tom is uncomfortable, Sonja is sad, and The Countess tells Ramona to shut up.

July 26, 2016 – Lulu Gets a Gun, the Haves Get Some Nots & Below Deck Gets a Good-by


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina brings Carly printouts from Crimson’s website in response to Jocelyn’s story. Nina says she knows they’ll find the donor.

Kristina asks if Sonny can accept a gay daughter. He says it’s a lot of information to take in. Her phone rings and he asks her to shut it off. Thank you. It’s Alexis, wondering where she’s been.

Paul sees Alexis at the coffee shop and asks how she’s doing. She says she’ll be in the front seat at the arraignment.

Julian, who is out of his mind, talks to himself, saying he’s not going to the arraignment and he’s not giving up on Alexis, claiming the haters got to her.

Sam wakes up. The guard talks to her and Jason in Greek, like they understand. Sam gets up to get some water and keels over.

Valentin says he’d like to say he’ll let them go, but he can’t, so which one of them wants to die first. Lulu is suddenly there with a gun, saying she votes for him. Valentin says he wondered when she was going to show up. She says she’s here now, so drop the gun or she’ll blow a hole in him.

Julian’s crony shows up in scrubs, telling him it’s time for his sponge bath. Julian asks about Ava, but no one can find out where she is. Julian tells No Name that he needs more of the drug.

Paul tells Alexis that they really shouldn’t be talking. He says she’s going to be called out by the bar about not taking the deal for Carrrlos and not acting in the client’s best interest, and she needs to concentrate on that. He suggests she call Diane and work on a defense before she gets disbarred.

Sonny says he’s known gay guys, but they seemed to have always been aware that they were gay. When Kristina seems surprised, Sonny says he grew up in Brooklyn and went to clubs, making me laugh. He says there’s a lot she doesn’t know about him and vice versa. I love these dad moments of his.

Nina goes over some of the messages that Crimson received in regard to Jocelyn. Carly wants to contact some people who have nothing to do with Jocelyn to thank them for the organ donation. She says they can rule out certain factors, but will need to eventually do a DNA test. Carly asks why Nina is going out of her way to help. Nina says it’s driving traffic to the website and Crimson‘s social media platform is blowing up. She says her chance of being a mother came and went while she was asleep, but at least she can help with this. She tells Carly to call it what she wants. Carly calls it doing the right thing.

Lulu tells Valentin that he might think she won’t pull the trigger. He says he has n doubt she will, but he will too and wonders if Lulu can kill him before he kills Laura.

Jason screams at the guard to help Sam. When the guard does nothing, Jason turns into The Incredible Hulk and breaks the chains that are holding him to the chair. I’m serious. That’s exactly what he looked like just then.

Paul visits Julian and says he looks well. Julian says he doesn’t feel well and Paul suggests it’s guilt. He’s there to escort Julian to the courthouse. He says it will be a dazzling perp walk, since he’s arranged for the press to be there. Julian calls it a baseless witch hunt. Paul says if it makes him feel any better, he’s just the warm-up for the main event of taking down Sonny.

Kristina tells Sonny that before Parker, she’d never felt this way about a woman. She says she thought she was just into the class, but she was really into Parker. She says she was sure Parker returned the attraction. Sonny interjects until she turned Kristina in. Sonny asks if he hadn’t seen her kissing Parker if she’d have told him the truth.

Alexis talks to Diane on the phone. She sees Parker at the coffee shop. At least people have somewhere other than the MetroCourt to go now.

Sam regains consciousness. She asks what happened. Jason says it was an old chair and he was able to break it and knock out the guard. He wants Sam to stay there, but she says they’re in it together.

Dammit! Lulu surrenders the gun and I hate her at this moment. Valentin continues to make threats. It’s always the same. Like that scene in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. If you’re going to shoot, shoot, don’t talk.

Paul tells Julian his own words are going to send him to prison. Julian says the recording was illegally obtained. Paul says, doesn’t matter, Julian is sunk. No Name comes in and says he needs to check Julian’s vitals. Paul says he’ll see Julian later and No Name shows Julian the drug vial.

Alexis acts kind of nasty to Parker. Parker says she thought they’d left things on a good note. Alexis says she hasn’t heard from Kristina all night. Parker says Kristina fine and tells Alexis they spent the night together.

Kristina tells Sonny that Alexis already knows, but not to be mad because Alexis was encouraging her to tell Sonny too. She says she can’t manage a relationship and got suspended from school, and she was afraid to tell him. He asks if she was afraid he’d turn his back on her and she says yes.

Nina tells Carly she’s not going to miss Julian. Carly thanks her again. Jocelyn shows up. Nina tells her she’s been an inspiration to her and her readers, and jets. Jocelyn tells Carly she understands they mean well, but she wants them to stop the search.

Valentin days he doesn’t want to kill them, but it’s necessary for his survival. One of the guards comes toward Dante and Lulu protests. Everyone kind of stops what they’re doing and looks toward the window where I expect Jason to come busting in like whatever superhero he’s channeling now.

I swear, I looked away for a second and Jason and Sam have everything under control and I don’t know where the blip Valentin went.

No Name is about to administer the drug when Nina shows up. She wants Julian to sign a document giving her Crimson in exchange for her silence on certain matters. She says she needs to protect the magazine if he’s convicted. He says he’s not going to get convicted, but she says they can’t be sure about that. He signs. She says he missed a spot and bumps into No Name who drops everything everywhere, breaking the vial. Nina says good thing they’re in the hospital so he can get more meds. Julian, foiled again!

Kristina says Sonny is intimidating, and he says that’s what he’s heard, but they’ll figure this out together. He asks about Aaron. Kristina says she likes him, but what they have is on the surface and she connects with Parker on another level. Sonny says it worries him that Parker was her professor and mentor, which puts Kristina at a disadvantage emotionally. He says if she wants to date women, fine, but Parker isn’t for her.

Alexis says Parker took advantage of Kristina. Parker says Kristina sought her out for closure and it became something else. Alexis says Parker seduced Kristina, and Parker says they’re both adults. Alexis asks if she took time out from her marriage and Parker says she’s getting a divorce. Alexis is concerned Kristina is a rebound. She says Kristina sees a future with Parker and she wants an end to the fantasy.

Jocelyn asks if Carly’s search is more important than her privacy. She doesn’t see why everything needs to be public knowledge, and she’s sick of kids talking behind her back and pointing at her. Carly says they need the medical information. Jocelyn says the longer she doesn’t have a relapse, the less likely it is to happen. She tells Carly that her father understands, and if Carly doesn’t knock it off, the next time she visits her dad, she’ll stay there.

Valentin has himself locked in one of the rooms basically saying something about you meddling kids. I’m very disappointed in him. Dante asks Lulu where she got the gun. She says she’ll tell him later, but now they have to get out of there. Ava says they need to move, but the rest want to wait for Jason.

Jason gets into the room. No Valentin. He looks outside. Don’t put that gun down, you idiot.

Carly says she has to do everything in her power to make sure Jocelyn’s health is safeguarded. Jocelyn says her dad doesn’t agree, and asks if Carly thought about how it might affect her. Carly says she’s the adult and it’s part of her job as a parent. She says one day Jocelyn will understand.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! about No Name dropping the vial. Julian tells Nina to get lost and she says she won’t be visiting him in Pentenville. She leaves and No Name says he doesn’t know where he can get more. Paul comes in and says it’s time to leave.

Carly calls Nina and tells her to remove the article from the website…for now. She says she can’t get into it at this moment.

Alexis tells Parker to do the right thing and it will save her and Kristina heartache later. Parker says she doesn’t know the future. Alexis asks about what the college will think, as well as Parker’s wife. Parker says she doesn’t want to hurt Kristina and Alexis says she should have thought about that before.

Kristina and Sonny talk. He tells her he’d never give up on her and she’s his daughter no matter what. They hug and it’s a touching moment.

Carly apologizes to Jocelyn. Sonny shows up and so does Nina. Nina tells them she passed the DA taking Julian out. She wonders why Carly called off the search and Sonny is like, what? Carly explains that Jocelyn feels her privacy is being violated, so they’re going to discreetly continue the search.

Jocelyn calls her father, telling him he was wrong and that Carly called off the search.

Kristina sees Alexis at the coffee shop. Alexis says she was worried and she knows Kristina was with Parker. Kristina asks if Sonny told her and Alexis is surprised. She says she’s glad Kristina told her father the truth. Kristina wonders how Alexis knew she was with Parker. She says she appreciates her parents’ concern, but she and Parker will figure it out together.

Sonny tells Carly that Kristina came out to him.

Parker starts to write a good by letter to Kristina.

Jason tells everyone that Valentin has disappeared. They get ready to leave. Um…a boat is where? Lulu says she doesn’t want to leave Nicholas behind , but Laura says they’ll have to.

Valentin is in the tunnels, playing Pokemon GO talking on his cell phone. He says they’ll never leave the island alive.

Tomorrow, Maxie admits she hasn’t been honest, Doc says to go on without him, nd Julian asks Sonny what he wants.

** In between shows note. I’m watching Hotel Hell and I swear, in every episode of every show he does, Gordon Ramsey says, “I’ve never seen such a [insert negative adjective here] business/restaurant/cooking in all my life.”

The Haves and the Have Nots

Veronica falls back into the chair with the knife sticking out of her chest as Jeffrey calmly walks out the door. Hannah is frozen. Kathryn tells Veronica not to move and Hannah to call an ambulance.

Veronica calls Jeffrey a son of a bitch and Hannah points out that she’s cursing herself. Kathryn warns Veronica not to take the knife out. Hannah calls 911, saying someone had an accident. Veronica says it was no accident. Every time I think Tyler Perry can’t surprise me on this show, he does.

The 911 operator asks a million questions. In the background, Veronica says that her son stabbed her. She asks Hannah for the phone. Hannah says there’s no danger and just send an ambulance. Kathryn tells Hannah to give her the phone. Veronica starts yelling Jeffrey’s description. Hannah tells the operator that she just needs an ambulance. She tells Veronica they’re coming and to shut her mouth. Veronica is worried that Hannah didn’t really call.

David meets with Jim. He tells Jim he’s sorry about Wyatt. Jim says he needs to talk to Jennifer. He wants to tell her that she killed Wyatt. David says that Jennifer is still the DA prosecuting his case and he needs to be careful. He says he’ll talk to Jennifer. Jim says he can’t believe it’s real until David sees Wyatt. He wants to hear that a mistake has been made. He thanks David for coming. Jim starts to cry when the guard comes and then gets a grip.

Jeffrey goes back to his hotel room, haunted by scenes from the past. He flashes back to just about everything. It culminates with him stabbing Veronica. Jeffrey calls Candace. She’s driving and says she can’t talk right now, but Jeffrey says he stabbed his mother. Candace is worried that Veronica said something about turning them in, but Jeffrey says it was about Wyatt. Then he gets worried about Veronica turning them in. He tells Candace it happened at the Cryers’ house and that Wyatt OD’d. He begs her to meet him at her place.

Candace asks if Veronica is dead. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know. Candace tells him she has to be somewhere, but she’ll have someone leave a key to another room for him and she’ll be there in an hour.

David goes to Jennifer’s office and tells her Jim would like to see her. She says that’s not possible, since she’s preparing a case against him. He tells her to drop it. He says she gave Wyatt access to more money than he could handle and it killed him. She asks what happened to Maggie and remarks that it’s suspicious his mistress was shot at his wife’s house. He says Maggie was his campaign manager and asks if this is about Jennifer’s anger at him. Jennifer asks if he’s going to Maggie’s funeral. When he says no, she wonders why, since Maggie got further with him than she did.

Jennifer refuses to see Jim. David asks her about Wyatt’s body. She says it’s not there yet, and homicide hasn’t been ruled out. She says it’s not the first time, bringing up the Cryers’ daughter, Amanda. David is shocked. She shows him a picture of Amanda’s room and asks him how blood could splatter so far. He says it was ruled a suicide. She explains that an M. E. who’s a friend of the Cryers reclassified it as a suicide, overruling the first M.E. She says until they can rule out foul play, he can’t see the body. David says the least she can do is let him confirm it’s Wyatt for his grieving parents. She writes something down for him and says the detective will let him in.

Jeffrey calls Justin and says he needs to see him and that he’s done something very bad. Justin, who’s in bed with his wife, asks if he knows what time it is. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know who else to call and Justin says he’ll be there. He tells his wife that it’s police business.

Mitch and Benny wait outside of David’s place. Benny wonders how David could have tampered with their phones. He wants to get David back, but Mitch says he has to be clever and out-think and outplay them. He says Benny has to hit David where it hurts, the way David hit Benny in the wallet rather than physically fighting him. Mitch says he has to figure out where it would hurt for David. He asks what Benny knows about him.

Benny says David is a judge and has a son. Mitch asks how much David loves his son. He says if you find a man’s weakness, you take his power. If David’s son is his weakness, Benny has the power and should pay the son a visit. Since Jeffrey is friends with Candace, wouldn’t Benny be very familiar with him?

Justin comes to Jeffrey’s room. Is this the new room or the old room? Justin tells Jeffrey to never call his house again. Jeffrey says he thinks he killed his mother. He says he stabbed her in the heart. Justin almost seems normal here, and asks him what happened. Jeffrey asks if he’s talking to him as a cop or the guy he handcuffs to the bed. Justin says if he wanted to bust him, he’d be gone already.

Justin asks if Jeffrey was sleeping with his mother’s boyfriend and says Candace told him that he was. Jeffrey says his mother doesn’t have a boyfriend and Candace is crazy. He says that Veronica was saying stuff and before he knew it, the knife was in her chest. Justin calls for dispatch. Jeffrey freaks, but Justin is checking to see if there’s a warrant out for Jeffrey. There aren’t any and Jeffrey tells him to check about his mother. Justin tells him to wait since he doesn’t want the calls too close together. Jeffrey starts to cry and says he lost his best friend. Justin tells him it will be okay. This is freaking me out because Justin seems genuinely concerned. Jeffrey tells Justin that he wants to show him something at Candace’s house.

Blane tells David there was no crime committed, but the druggies cleaned up before they left. Geez, Wyatt’s body is still lying there in the same position as when he died. I find this extremely hard to believe. David says Wyatt is breathing and to call an ambulance. Wha-a-a-at?

Candace calls Benny and tells him about Jeffrey stabbing Veronica. She wants him to call Hannah to verify the story, but he says Hannah is pissed off at him. He asks if there’s another way and Candace says if there was, she would have done it. He says he’ll call, but not to expect anything.

Veronica keeps insisting that Hannah didn’t call. Hannah tells Kathryn that she doesn’t lie, but Veronica is so emphatic, Kathryn calls to make sure the ambulance is coming. It is. Hannah tells Veronica she doesn’t lie. Veronica calls her a perfect little Christian. Hannah says she’s not, and Veronica agrees, saying Hannah is enjoying this. Hannah says what she’s not enjoying is Veronica messing with her son. She tells Kathryn that she’s trying to find compassion for Veronica, but Veronica isn’t making it easy.

The medics come in. Veronica says her son stabbed her. The EMTs take a look. One of them says it looks like the knife got the implant. Veronica says she doesn’t have implants and they’re like, okay. When asked if she can walk, she says she has a knife in her chest. The EMT plucks it out and they walk her to the door, Veronica complaining the whole way. When they’re gone, Hannah starts laughing. Kathryn says her son is still dead and Hannah apologizes.

Benny calls Hannah. She says she’s been dealing with something and asks what he wants. He feigns innocence and he asks where she is. She tells him the Cryers’ and asks why Veronica was at his house. He said he needed to talk to her and asks why Hannah is at the Cryers’. She tells him their son died. He says he’s sorry and she says she doesn’t want hers dying over some old whore. Benny says he has a problem, but won’t tell her what it is. She sees a car pull in behind her and says she has to call him back. He asks if Jeffrey stabbed Veronica. Hannah asks how he knew that and says she has to go. He asks if Veronica is okay, but Hannah has already hung up. It’s Jennifer with a cop in the other car, and she wants to see Kathryn.

Jeffrey calls Candace, telling her that he’s standing in her backyard with Justin. That Tyler Perry! He’s a crazy man!

Next time, War sees Jim in jail, Kathryn attacks Jennifer, David tells Jeffrey to stay away from Veronica, and Oscar’s identity is revealed.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We get a fast forward version of what’s happened up until now.

After insulting Julia, Bobby gets all stupid, yelling that everyone stood up for Danny and f-word all of you. Jen finally gets in his face and Bryan takes him out of the boat they’ve been sitting in and talks nonsense to him on the sidewalk. Julia is upset and none of the girls are pleased. Hannah is pissed that Bobby wanted to bring a girl back on the boat, Bryan defended him, and then Bobby tried to make it sound like the problem was Julia being jealous. Julia is fuming and starts to cry.

The next morning, Bobby wakes up with a serious hangover, wondering what he said. Good. In the break room, Bryan says it was all unfortunate. Jen tells him he was pretty bad and even Bobby can’t believe he was so ridiculous. Bryan says he was, even though he defended Bobby. Jen is like, you’re both idiots. Tiffany suggests Bobby apologize to Julia.

In his interview, Ben says Tiffany is a cool girl, which according to Your Tango means she doesn’t bug out over no commitment.

Bobby approaches Hannah, apologizing for whatever he said and says he feels sick about it. Hannah says a lot of people would have gone to the captain, but that goes against crew code or whatever. The captain calls them to the bridge to go over the next charter. It’s a sales team being rewarded for their hard work. They have something to do with ginger beer.

Bobby asks to talk to Julia. He tells her that he’s disgusted with himself and he’s sorry from the bottom of his heart. She says it’s not true about her being jealous and it wouldn’t have been so bad if he’d just went after her, but he dragged her boyfriend into it. Bobby says she’s the last person he wanted to hurt and she says this has changed things between them. He hopes she can forgive him before the end of the charter.

Ben asks Hannah how Julia is doing. Hannah says Bobby was rude to all of them, but Ben says it was the worst with Julia. He waxes philosophical about hurting the ones we love most.

Hannah figures nothing could be worse than the last charter. Probably not, but never say something like that. It’s just asking for trouble. These guys seem pretty normal though. Ben wants to do a whole fish for lunch and Hannah thinks he’s lovable. In his interview, Ben talks about liking Tiffany from the jump.

Bryan talks about Danny and in her interview, Jen says it’s typical of his character to be talking about someone who’s not there to defend themselves. Bobby joins in on the gossip. The guests are scheduled for a beach picnic. Bryan acts like his usual d-bag self and Hannah says his ego trip is getting old. The spot they’ve picked is too windy and Captain Mark approaches the guests, who are happy with having lunch on the boat. The head guy talks about how lucky they all are and toasts to his sales team. It’s about time someone appreciated their time on the yacht.

Ben asks Julia how it’s going with Bobby. She says everyone was liquor fueled, but it was a side of Bobby she hadn’t seen. She was astounded at being singled out for attack and Ben says it’s because Bobby has the most feelings for her. And he’s in middle school.

Moving on to dinner. As always, Ben creates cuisine fabulousness. Bobby says it’s eating him up that he doesn’t think Julia will ever forgive him. Staying out of her way might be a good start.

Some of the guests sleep on deck for the last night. Hannah and Ben discuss Bryan. She says Bryan is disrespectful to women and a psycho. Ben says Bryan needs to work on things.

Fastest. Charter. Ever. Hannah says it was the best way to end the season. The envelope is given to Captain Mark. The primary guest tells Ben that if food was music, his would be Jimi Hendrix, which I’m sure Ben takes as the huge compliment it is. The crew meets in the lounge. Two thousand dollars a piece, the best they’ve done. Captain Mark says it’s a great note to end on and the owners have arranged for a beach party tonight.

Hannah talks to the other girls about Bryan’s aggression. Hannah says she’s lost all respect for him after the other night. Jen radios Bryan and asks if he’ll meet them in the lounge. Hannah talks about having her biggest argument with Ben, but it didn’t make her feel as bad as Bryan’s attack. Everyone puts in their two cents, but Bryan has an excuse for everything. Julia says it’s just advice for the future and that he should treat women as equals. In her interview, Jen says he didn’t absorb a thing and was just waiting for them to stop talking. She’s right, since he tells Bobby how stupid it was.

The crew gathers on the beach, along with Captain Mark. He thanks the crew for a wonderful season, talking about how the crew pulled together like he must have been on another boat. Ben thanks him back for being a great captain. Captain Mark doesn’t stay long, which is probably wise. Hannah says the girls were amazing. Lots of drinking happens. Hannah follows Ben to the bar. He says he’s going to miss everyone and he usually doesn’t feel that way. She tells him she loves him and he has a piece of her heart. In his interview, he says he did want to be closer to her, but he had to draw a line. In her interview, Hannah says she hasn’t felt this way about anyone else. They sort of kiss.

Oh Lord, Bobby says he can’t leave Greece without telling Julia how he feels. He tells her he feels really bad and can’t say he’s sorry enough. She says they’ve all been drunk and said things they didn’t mean. He says it’s really him who’s jealous and starts going on about how he loves her. She tells him he shouldn’t throw that word around. He says she’s been what he’s been looking for forever. She tells him he’s a “vibrant character” and he’ll find someone. They hug it out and everyone goes back to the boat.

Bryan and Bobby compare abs to see who’s more ripped. Tiffany pours a seriously stiff drink. She and Ben goof around on the couch. She suggests they go to bed. Later, Bryan says Ben woke him up for condoms and now he can’t find him. Why? Does he want them back when Ben is done? Hannah nearly walks in on Ben and Tiffany having sex in one of the lounges.

In the morning, Tiffany tells Jen about having sex with Ben. Ben wakes up on the couch still loaded and stumbles around. I laugh. Ben talks to Hannah in French while he brushes his teeth. She says she was up way late and saw and heard everything.

Julia tells Hannah about Bobby saying he loved her. Hannah tells Julia about walking in on Ben and Tiffany. In her interview, Hannah says Ben will no doubt get bored with Tiffany and maybe he’ll want a “proper woman” in five years or so. Now whose ego trip is getting old?

Tiffany says it was real, but she’s never doing this again. She’s going home to get her captain’s license. She and Ben decide to keep it weird. Julia is nice enough to hug Bobby good-by. She hopes he finds the right girl, since it’s not her. In his interview, he says he wants to be there when she breaks up with her boyfriend. Not a chance, Bobby. She would never, ever hook up with you after she saw how angry you can get. Julia hasn’t decided her next move; she’s just glad to be going home.

The bromancers, Hans and Franz Bryan and Bobby, decide to meet in Fort Lauderdale. Jen doesn’t want to hug Bryan good-by. She says she gave him multiple chances to be a decent human, but he couldn’t stop bashing her. He says maybe he spoke the truth and she tells him at least she doesn’t reek of alcohol, trying to use it to escape her problems and reality. Oh, snap! He says she has a lot to learn about being a deckhand. She tells him about Ben and Tiffany having sex, I guess because she knows he was interested in Tiffany. In his interview, Bryan says not everyone has his mentality. That’s for sure.

Bryan says good-by to the captain. He hopes to be in Captain Mark’s position one day. Ben is also going to join him and Bobby in Florida. Hannah says she’s learned a lot. She and Ben promise to SKYPE. Ben says they never really connected, but he’ll miss her.

Ben says good-by to the captain. He makes some joke about them being like Greece because they can’t…never mind.

Good night, sweet Mediterranian.

July 25, 2016 – Is GH’s Luke Dead? & the OC Wives Battle in 70s Armor


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Kristina suggests that she and Parker let tomorrow be tomorrow. That song from Annie pops into my head. You’re welcome. Kristina kisses Parker and Sonny sees. He almost trips coming up the stairs, which makes me laugh.

Elizabeth fills in Finn about a patient who was recently in South Africa. He tells her he’s going out of town for a few days.

Naomi and Hayden have gotten subpoenas and have to go to NYC to testify. Hayden wonders what else they could possibly have to testify about. She also wonders why Naomi had a panic attack and asks what was happening prior to it at the MetroCourt. Elizabeth comes in and Hayden leaves. Naomi asks why they don’t get along. Franco enters the room and asks Elizabeth if he was dreaming or did she really agree to go on a date with him.

We repeat the Friday scene where Valentin (no “e” on the end) shoots Doc. In the melee that follows, Dante gets ahold of Valentin and puts him in a headlock. Lulu freaks over the skeleton in the tunnel. She sees a bracelet on its wrist and thinks it must be Luke.

Hayden asks Finn if he wants to go to lunch. He says he’s got somewhere to be and she asks if he’s found a new connection for his drug.

Parker tells Kristina she has to focus and get ready for her speech. Kristina asks if she can come along. Parker tells her that the attendance list was closed a while ago, but it’s the same thing she covered in class. Kristina apologizes again for how things started with them. Parker accepts the apology, but says it makes it hard for them to move forward.

Doc regains consciousness. Laura tells him to stay still. Dante says if everyone doesn’t drop their guns, he’ll break Valentin’s neck. Another thug has a gun drawn on Dante and Ava says it’s not worth it.

Lulu examines an earring and a bracelet just like her father’s. Hmm… Maybe Luke was hoping someone would find it and think he’s dead.

Ava tells Dante he can’t win the fight and to let Valentin go. She says she just watched Nicholas die and doesn’t want to see him die too. Dante releases Valentin, who acts like he was going to let everyone go and Dante just blew it. Yeah, right.

Hayden tells Finn she wants to help him and apologizes for implying he was a junkie. He thanks her for what she did for him and tells her he’ll return the favor some time, but for now, stop stalking him. She tells him not to flatter himself and that she’s there to see her mother.

Elizabeth tells Franco this isn’t the place for a dating conversation. He says they’ll always have toast. <snort> He starts talking about sending her kids to summer camp again, but Elizabeth says she’d never take anything from Heather. In the background, Naomi starts to have another attack. Elizabeth accepts the date and Franco tells Naomi that she’s his good luck charm. He leaves and Elizabeth sees that Naomi’s heart rate is climbing.

Kristina says Parker wasn’t hesitating last night, so what changed? She asks if they can just be in the moment and Parker says okay, but they need to be responsible. Kristina wants Parker to admit that she likes Kristina as much as Kristina likes her. Parker says she has to go. They kiss good-by. Kristina says she’ll stay there until Parker gets back. They make a cute couple, but it almost seems like their emotional roles are reversed all of a sudden.

Parker leaves. Sonny knocks on the door. Surprise!

Hayden tells Finn about Naomi’s panic attack and the subpoenas. He asks if she’ll be in the slammer by the time he gets back. She asks why he cares. He says he wanted to create some distance, but prison is a little extreme. He tells her he may have found a new source for his drugs and she asks if Sonny has something to do with it. Finn draws the line at that question and tells her to back off. Hayden calls him a colossal jerk.

Elizabeth apologizes to Naomi for Franco barging in and asks if he said something to upset her.

Franco visits Heather bearing a bouquet. She asks if he wants more money, but he says he wants to return what she gave him. He says he wanted to give it to Elizabeth and she refused, but she did say she’d go on a date with him.

Lulu wonders if it’s a set up, but thinks that would be too elaborate a plan. She hears a noise and hides.

Laura tells Doc to stay with her. Ava calls Valentin a bastard, but he says they’ve already established that. He says he was going to let them go, but now they’ve complicated everything with Doc jumping in front of his warning shot. Dante suggests Valentin keep him as a hostage and let everyone else go.

Kristina asks Sonny what he’s doing at the hotel. Sonny tells her he’s there to pick up Morgan’s meds. He asks if she’s staying there and she says no, it’s just a friend who’s in town for the conference and they had breakfast. She tries to blow Sonny off, but he says they need to talk. He tells her he saw her kiss a woman.

It was driving me crazy, so I looked up who’s playing Valentin. It’s James Patrick Stuart who used to be Will Cortlandt on All My Children. I thought I recognized the voice, but he looks very different with a mustache. I have to say he’s grown into a fine looking man.

Franco says Heather had a negative reaction to him dating both Carly and Nina, and he wants to make sure there’s no repeat performance. Heather says even if she objected to Elizabeth, what could she do from prison? He makes her promise she won’t do anything to interfere and she agrees. He wants to know what’s different about Elizabeth.

Naomi tells Elizabeth about the subpoenas. Elizabeth says Naomi’s anxiety increased when Franco was in the room. She says she recognized him from her art collecting friends. She says there were rumors that he was a serial killer, but Elizabeth says he’s not the same person anymore, and he’s been amazing to her and her son. Naomi asks if she’s sure he’s changed and Elizabeth says she is. She feels that if someone acknowledges their faults and sincerely tries to do better, they deserve a second chance. Naomi says too bad more people don’t feel that way. She adds that eyebrows might be raised if Elizabeth starts dating a relative.

Finn tells Hayden about all his research being confiscated and wonders if it’s been destroyed. He says the drugs are a temporary solution and what he needs is a cure. She tells him not to give up, but he says he’s just being realistic. He says he doesn’t want her to watch him die. He doesn’t want to be the reason for more sorrow in her life.

Dante says if Doc recovers, no one has to know about it. Valentin says you can’t hold someone hostage indefinitely, it’s a lot of overtime for his thugs and someone is bound to start asking where Dante is. He says if everyone is dead, there’s no more problem.

One of the thugs comes past Lulu in the tunnel and she whacks him in the head, knocking him out.

Sonny wants to know who Parker is. He says she seems a lot older than Kristina. He asks if she’s a student, and Kristina says no. Kristina tells him that the woman is Parker. He’s astounded that it’s the same Parker that reported her for her advances. Sonny has a look on his face that’s definitely a father in I-can’t-believe-my-kid-just-did-this mode.

He asks why Kristina didn’t tell him and she says she was afraid. He asks what she thinks would happen, and she says she doesn’t know. She says he always wants to fix things and some things can’t be fixed or explained. She says he seemed to like Aaron and he says she did too. She says she does, but she also likes Parker. O.M.G. Kristina tells Sonny she just had the best night of her life with Parker, but she still doesn’t know if she’s gay. Why is she giving her father TMI? Seriously, telling him she might be gay is fine, but would you really tell your dad about the best night of your life?

Heather says Elizabeth is Jeff Webber’s daughter and she loved Jeff. She says Jeff is the reason she’s a woman of means, which doesn’t get explained further. Franco tries to return the money again, but she says it’s useless to her in there. She suggests he buy art supplies and bring her a painting next time.

Elizabeth says she doesn’t understand. Naomi says she overheard her say Franco’s mother is Heather Webber, but Elizabeth says they’re not related, even though Heather was once married to her father. She tells Naomi that Heather is locked up now. She leaves to get Naomi’s release paperwork started.

Hayden says for the first time in her life she wants to help someone even though there’s nothing in it for her. She says if Finn doesn’t like her fine, but don’t tell her to leave just because he’s afraid she’ll fall apart if he dies.

Lulu wonders whether to stick with the plan and try to get help, or take the gun and shoot Valentin. She tells herself that Luke would have said, when in doubt, improvise.

Laura talks to Doc. She says she’s going to keep him alive, but he has to do his part and stay with her.

Dante tells Valentin if he wants to live, he needs to let them go and run. Ava says Valentin will be spending the rest of his life in a cell if he doesn’t disappear. Valentin says she makes a good point, but the last time he listened to her, he almost lost his eye, which makes it difficult for him to want to believe her.

Finn says he thought he was doing Hayden a favor. She tells him to go make his mysterious connection.

Heather has another visitor. It’s Naomi, who is apparently Heather’s money source. I’m trying to make some connection between her and Jeff, but it makes my head hurt. Naomi says that she knows Elizabeth is seeing Heather’s son and tells her not to breathe one word about Elizabeth to Franco, or her life will be more miserable than it already is. Again, I’m thinking that Elizabeth and Hayden are related somehow.

Franco asks Elizabeth if it’s good or bad that his mother approves of them dating. Hayden comes in and wonders where Naomi is. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know, but she escorted her out, and she was surprised to find they have a lot in common.

Kristina asks Sonny if he can accept having a gay daughter and if he can accept her.

Valentin says all he wanted was the Cassadine estate. He says it belonged to him anyway, since he’s older and Nicholas has a questionable background. He says he wants to believe he can trust them, but it’s not likely they’ll keep their mouths shut. He asks who would like to die first. Lulu suddenly pops in with the gun and says she votes for him.

Tomorrow, Carly asks Nina why she wants to help, Parker talks to Alexis, Lulu threatens Valentin, and Sam keels over.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Shannon’s 70s party looks like one of my junior high school dances, both in wardrobe and attendance. We start off in the middle of a fight, but then go back to 48 hours earlier when everyone is getting their costumes together. Shannon and David are at a costume store and Shannon picks out a Farrah wig (Fawcett, not Abraham) and David gets some tight blonde curls. A bizarre conversation happens where the girls are asking David how many times he’s…never mind. My TV viewing today has been filled with things I would never talk to my father about.

Tamra goes shopping with Kelly at a vintage store. Tamra asks how Kelly is feeling about Shannon, since they didn’t exactly start off great. Kelly thinks Shannon is a Debbie Downer and says she’s not the only one who got that first impression. We flash back to Heather kicking Shannon out of her house a couple of seasons back. Tamra tells Kelly about the falling out she had with Shannon, and how it was really her fault and they mended fences. Kelly thinks if Shannon forgave Tamra, she should forgive Vicki as well. Tamra says she has, but doesn’t know if she wants to continue the friendship.

Heather’s nanny is cooking dinner. Heather tells us that she doesn’t cook, but loves to surround herself with food oriented things, like cooking shows and equipment. I totally understand this.

Meghan is going to speak about colon cancer in Washington DC and Heather is going with her. In her interview, Meghan talks about Jimmy’s ex-wife passing away from it. She got involved with a non-profit that raises funds and awareness. She has nothing written out yet, and Heather tells her she might want to move on that.

Terry arrives home. Heather is annoyed that he chose to work on Mother’s Day. He suggests she come with him to New York, but she doesn’t want to leave the kids, so he says he’ll see if the date can be changed.

Briana is home and feeling better. Her kids seem like a freakin’ handful and a half. No wonder she’s sick. Vicki hasn’t responded to Shannon’s invite, but now that Briana is on the mend, she thinks she might go to the party.

Kelly takes her daughter, Jolie, for a mani-pedi. Jolie is nine and Kelly’s mini-me. Kelly says she’s a strict, but fun mom. She asks Jolie about the upcoming Justin Bieber concert, saying she has Bieber fever, and her daughter informs Kelly that she’s too old to be a fan. As Jolie asks for the latest electronics, Kelly informs us that OC children are the most spoiled in the world.

Meghan’s ultrasound and blood work are coming up tomorrow. She asks Jimmy if he’ll be able to Facetime with her, since he’s off to do whatever he does wherever he does it. Meghan says he’s not used to a highly emotional woman going through IVF. She tells him that by the time he gets back, the embryo will have been transferred to her uterus. She’s disappointed that he’s not more enthusiastic, but I don’t think Jimmy is enthusiastic about much. Meghan says she feels isolated.

It’s party time! David is surprised that Shannon invited Vicki and is more angered than Shannon about the whole Brooks/cancer debacle. Vicki stops by Kelly’s place first, wearing the most amazing pink and gold paisley mini dress. We see a high school picture of Vicki in the 70s. She really hasn’t changed all that much. Well, the braces are gone. And she’s blonde. They have tequila shots. Why does everyone like tequila so much? I think it tastes foul and leads to the worst hangover of any liquor.

The venue looks really cool, with a lot of details like lava lamps and pet rocks. The guests are greeted with Jell-O shots. Ha-ha! Eddie has the biggest wig ever – a gigantic blonde Afro. Vicki is hoping they can all hug it out and move on. In her interview, Shannon says she didn’t want to be the one excluding Vicki. That’s probably wise, since Vicki rescued Shannon from her own exclusion once.

Kelly is introduced to a friend of Shannon’s named Jaci (pronounced like Jackie). Jaci says they’ve met before and brings up seeing Kelly with someone else when Kelly and her husband were separated. She does this in front of Kelly’s husband, which Kelly says is kind of a bitch move. Um, yeah. Heather says she’s chosen to move on with Vicki, and if Vicki did lie, karma and God will catch up with her. Meghan starts to feel uncomfortable and ill because of her preparation for tomorrow’s procedure.

Here’s where it starts looking like the school dance. Lots of people on the sidelines and a few straggling dancers out on the floor. Heather is on roller skates and takes a dive. Tamra is annoyed, since she’s preparing for a fitness competition and can’t really drink. Meghan asks where Tamra stands with Vicki now and Tamra says she’s forgiven her and they’re moving on. Meghan says she wasn’t really friends with Vicki to begin with, and doesn’t trust her. In her interview, Tamra wonders why Meghan is sticking her nose into her business with Vicki.

Kelly jokes that David looks like a pedophile. Shannon doesn’t find it funny, but Meghan is actually right. Terry and Heather have a private conversation. Terry promises to be home more after this season of Botched. Heather says she’s heard this before. She says at some point, he’s going to have to realize he can’t always say yes. She tells him that he says yes to everyone except his family. In his interview, Terry says he loves Heather and the kids, but she’s right.

Champagne and liquor flow. Tamra takes note of Vicki and Kelly being drinking buddies. I have the feeling this rubs Tamra the wrong way. Jaci sits with Tamra and Shannon and gossips about Kelly. Kelly comes by with Vicki looking for Vicki’s purse and some girl named Nina gets all involved. She gets nasty, telling them to look somewhere else. When they start to walk away, she says Kelly and Vicki are ghetto. Tamra thinks Jaci and Nina are trying to pick a fight with Kelly. I think wtf?

Vicki finds her purse near Heather, and Heather informs her that Nina put it there. Yep. She did. We see the video. Tamra stirs the pot by coming out and telling them that Nina has a problem with Kelly. Kelly returns to the gossip circle and says she heard Nina had something to say about her.

Tamra tries to extract herself from what she started, which is typical. Kelly says she doesn’t remember Jaci, who looks like every other Malibu Barbie chick. Nina keeps her nose in her phone. Kelly keeps calling Shannon Mrs. Roper and Shannon gets pissed, finally telling her to leave the party. Kelly says fine since the party sucks anyway. To be honest, it looks like a sparse crowd and not much fun. Shannon asks if Kelly is going to get hammered again tonight. She drags Heather into it, whining that she’s being accused of not having a 70s outfit. Huh? Tamra says she sees how Kelly feels set up. Well, yeah, you set her up.

Vicki somehow gets into it with David, who tells her to shut her f-ing mouth. Shannon comes running in, in tears, telling David they’re making fun of her or something. David and Vicki get nose to nose and David calls Vicki a scumbag. She tells him that’s the way he might talk to Shannon, but he’s not married to her. There’s a lot of yelling between David, Shannon, Kelly and Vicki, with everyone else just watching. Terry probably has the best observation face and Kelly’s husband continues to laugh through the whole thing. Kelly says no wonder David cheated. Everyone is like, whoa, and Shannon goes ballistic, accusing Kelly of cheating on her husband, and tells some story about her neighbor having an affair, alluding to it being with Kelly. Kelly keeps saying, who? and Shannon keeps replying, you, like it’s a Who’s On First routine. I think what Kelly is drunkenly trying to ask is, who is the neighbor?

Kelly gets loud, calling Shannon disgusting and ugly, and calling her Mrs. Roper again. Suddenly, Shannon claims she wanted to look like Mrs. Roper. This is so unbelievably juvenile and weird. Kelly curses them out all the way to the limo. Vicki is like, it’s all Brooks’s fault and calls his voicemail, complaining about having to still be dealing with his lies after nine months. Wow. How come I never get invited to parties like this?

Shannon wonders what happened to her party and if it can be salvaged. She and Tamra dress up in some weird costumes where they look nakey, but not really, and giant Afro wigs. They descend on Heather. I don’t know what to say. It’s been pointed out that whenever these girls have any kind of gathering while in costume, a battle is waged. Remember 80s night? Or the Bunco party?

Kelly goes on and on in the limo about being attacked. She says she felt that Shannon set her up with the two wannabes. Michael says she was hijacked, whatever that means. Kelly agrees.

Next time, Briana starts house renovations, Meghan gets her implantation, and Shannon and Kelly meet.


🎠 I don’t recap Odd Mom Out, but highly recommend it. Whether your a mom or not, it’s hysterically funny. Maybe you can tell from this snippet if the show is for you.

Tonight’s episode began with main character Jill in Kiss makeup, waking up on the kitchen floor amid bowling pins and other game pieces, being kissed by a miniature pig. She stumbles to the bathroom to find her husband in the bathtub with a tiger. Drew Barrymore guest starred.

July 24, 2016 – Shah MJ Celebrates Renewal & NJ Wives Celebrate Dolores


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Shahs of Sunset

I really wish they’d change their opening song. It’s the worst.

Shervin visits MJ. She’s having a yard sale at a friend’s house, and she’s going through racks of clothes. She hands him various dresses that have bad memories attached and talks about them. Shervin says when he looks at his clothes, he sees a black shirt. Ha-ha! I’ve always said that a woman has a story for every piece of clothing she owns. Asa joins them. They pile the car with stuff and MJ thinks she could possibly have OJ’s glove in all the mess.

GG claims she doesn’t have time for a job, since she’s busy all day with things like manicures and massages. Sigh. She’s having a meeting with her acupuncturist. She says it really helps. Better than that. She says it’s like heroin. Really now? In her interview, GG talks about Reza not believing that she’s really sick. I do believe she’s sick, and I know what it’s like to be sick and not look sick, but I also think there’s something else going on there.

The garage sale friend doesn’t have a name. The caption just says “MJ’s Friend.” Yeah, I don’t blame you, MJ’s friend. I might not want anyone to know who I was either. MJ starts pulling things out that she doesn’t want to sell. A surprising amount of people show up, even though this doesn’t look like a real active street. MJ keeps trying to intercept the sales, while Asa is pushing them, giving customers suggestions on what to wear with what. Suddenly, MJ gets with the program and helps move things along. I understand. I have an eBay store. It can be hard to let go of the emotional attachment, even though you know you’re never wearing that size 6 neon green micro-mini from the 80s again. As Don Aslett says, keep the memory, get rid of the object.

Adam wants to change his last name, since he and Reza are married now. When they get to the window with the paperwork, Adam suggests Reza change his too, but Reza isn’t receptive to the idea. The clerk tells them they need a marriage license for Adam’s status to change. They never got one because of the wedding being a surprise. Oops! Forgot about that. Now they’re going to have another ceremony to make it official, because technically, they’re not married.

Asa is working on her couples portrait project. Originally, she was going to shoot Mike and Jessica together, but now it’s Mike by himself. Asa is glad that he’s facing his truth. Even though he’s going through with it, Mike feels dejected, being photographed with his dogs rather than his woman. I actually like the dogs better than I did Jessica. In his interview, Mike asks how much you can fight for something that’s a lost cause. He says he feels like a failure. The photos are fantastic. Mike says they’re like a funeral for him – the death of his relationship.

GG and MJ video chat. MJ is having a renewal party. GG asks if MJ is having vaginal rejuvenation, but it’s more of a renewal in the spiritual sense. MJ wants to celebrate moving forward in her life. She tells GG to clear her afternoon and wear black. She’s going to commemorate a rite of passage.

Reza is happy about having another wedding ceremony. Asa comes by his and Adam’s place. She looks amazing in a figure-hugging white blouse and black skirt. She’s usually wearing a caftan, or something else loose-fitting, so it’s a surprising change. In a good way. MJ arrives as the witness. Adam reads some vows he wrote, since he didn’t get a chance the first time. In his interview, Reza says it’s the wedding he imagined, with just Asa and MJ there. The license is signed, making it official.

Shervin is going ring shopping with Tommy. The last time Shervin was at the jewelry store was to pick out a ring for an engagement that didn’t work out, so he tries not to have flashbacks. Tommy picks out a pretty standard-looking ring, but the band is patterned, giving it something extra. The clerk quotes a price of $8500, but Shervin bargains for Tommy, countering at $7000. They meet in the middle at $7500. Tommy hopes that MJ’s answer will be yes.

You know those places where you can get together with friends or a date and make pottery? MJ goes to a similar place where you bake stuff. She’s meeting her mother there. Why? Why doesn’t she cut this cancer out of her life? Another sigh. She asks Vida to come to her renewal party. Wet blanket Vida says what renewal, since MJ hasn’t changed. MJ asks the loaded question, is her mother proud of her and Vida is like, as far from it as you can get. They’re decorating a cake together, and Vida just takes what MJ puts on the cake right off, saying it looks horrible. Honestly, she just takes everything off with her hand and plops it on the table. It’s indicative of the way she wipes out any opinion MJ has and forces her own.

Somehow, Vida gets on the topic of MJ’s love life. Vida does not like Tommy and in her interview, MJ says Vida is headed to the bleachers. I’d have put her outside the stadium long ago. There is seriously something wrong with this woman.

MJ’s outfit for the party rocks! She looks like a fairy queen bride, in white with a crown of flowers and matching bouquet. She’s having the ceremony at a cemetery. There’s a casket so she can say a proper good-by to her past and symbolically bury her bullsh*t. A choral group is performing and white doves are going to be released. It must be fun to have money to throw away on nonsense! She gives the choir musical and apparel directions. The doves wait, possibly terrified, in their cages.

Tommy has a flask he keeps nipping from, as he’s picking this party – or whatever it is – to propose. There’s even a bar. I’m just amazed and wonder how much she gave the cemetery owner to let her do this. GG is a little freaked and surprisingly respectful of where she is. Everyone gets a drink and sits.

Wait for it…

Vida asks if Jessica is coming and Mike answers with another question, asking if MJ’s dad is coming. Vida is like, of course not, and then she asks Reza about Jessica, since Mike isn’t answering. Mike tries to make light of it, but Vida gets insistent. Several of the Shahs ask for another drink. Vida checks out the casket and Mike tells her to jump in. Obviously, I laugh. She says no wonder Jessica isn’t there and he says no wonder her husband left her. In his interview, Mike thinks Vida is there just to ruin MJ’s event and is pissed that no one ever stands up to her. I don’t blame him one bit, although I do understand when Shervin says that it’s their culture not to talk like that to an elder. I don’t like her either, but MJ wanted her there, so he should at least respect that.

Everyone is telling Mike to shut up. Even GG says they need to respect their friend’s mother. In his interview, Mike says culturally, he screwed up, but who would blame him? Tommy takes him aside and tells him to knock it off, because even though she’s a maniac, this is his future mother-in-law. Mike promises to behave.

MJ drives up in a cool, huge car. That’s about as much as I know about cars. She walks toward to casket, the choir preceding her, humming something that sounds like an old spiritual. MJ was specific in not wanting lyrics. MJ stands before the casket and makes a speech. She acknowledges all of them and their support. She talks about forgiveness and moving forward. She throws some costume jewelry into the casket to symbolize being fake, she throws in some blush in to symbolize Vida no longer making decisions for her, and something else that looks like bra pads, talking about how she found Tommy. Tommy walks up and says how happy she makes him and how he’s her best friend. He starts to cry and it’s actually very touching. He tells her that he wishes her father was there and gets down on one knee and proposes. I probably like Tommy the most of all the cast members. He can be juvenile at times, but he has a good heart and seems genuine. Actually, that’s one thing the whole cast has going for it – they all seem real, not like the Housewives, who often strike me as just vying for camera time.

Tommy pulls out the ring and tells MJ how much he loves her. He asks her to marry him and MJ says yes. All the friends start to cheer. Vida must be having a coronary. The doves are released.

Vida comes up to the front, calling, “Mercedes! Mercedes!” as MJ (Mercedes to Vida) and Tommy kiss. She starts to walk out, saying she shouldn’t have come.

Next time, the finale (sniff), Asa is in OK magazine, Adam and Reza conflict about having children, Vida acts like a lunatic, and Reza and GG tangle.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Melissa is going into the city (Manhattan for the unenlightened) to pick out merchandise for the boutique. She hassles husband Joe on the phone.

Teresa is pretty tired, saying that it’s great to be back, but it’s been a whirlwind, which she pronounces “worldwind,” and I type it that way before I go, wait a second… Since she can’t walk the kids to the bus due to her ankle bracelet, she hollers for husband Joe to help. Dog Frankie tries to escape while all this is going on.

There are a bunch of whiny Jacqueline flashbacks where she wonders what Teresa wants from her. Several. Stemming from one, one paragraph text. A short paragraph.

Teresa talks about how her marriage has always been “old school,” where Joe took care of the finances and she stayed out of it. She says she got into a little trouble for that – ha-ha-ha – so now she’s paying attention. Jacqueline knocks at the door unannounced.

Teresa wonders why Jacqueline is just showing up. She asks how Jacqueline’s New Year’s Eve was and Jacqueline stammers. Joe makes an appearance and says hello. Jacqueline says she’s getting mixed messages from Teresa, who wonders how that happened, since she’s only been home a week. Jacqueline says it goes back to when they last talked in Arizona, and hadn’t really defined where they stood. Teresa says when they got back was when her problems with the law started and she was told not to discuss it with anyone. She says it isn’t that she didn’t want to be friends anymore.

Jacqueline brings up two reunions ago when Teresa says she didn’t miss her. I have to stop here to mention that Jacqueline sounds kind of selfish. It’s no secret that Teresa stood trial and then went to prison, so how does Jacqueline make this even one iota about her? Teresa probably wasn’t thinking about missing anyone except her own self in New Jersey. Teresa says she’s done a lot of reflection and praying and has learned forgiveness since then. Jacqueline asks where they go from here and Teresa suggests rebuilding the friendship. They hug and talk about their kids. Teresa tells Jacqueline about her new love of yoga. In her interview, Teresa says it’s like the old days. We get TMI about jail sex and they discuss Teresa’s homecoming. More TMI.

Teresa suddenly remembers that she has an orthodontist appointment that the doctor came in early for. That’s what happens when people just show up out of nowhere at your door. Self-centered Jacqueline doesn’t even apologize.

Melissa meets with her business partner. Jacquie has a store in Florida and Melissa admires her business acumen. Not so much her style though, as they disagree on what Melissa should be carrying in her store. Melissa wants it to seem like you’re walking into her closet and has the final vote, since it is her store.

Siggy visits Dolores. Dolores wants to redecorate, as the house is frozen in time from when she raised her kids there. They discuss Dolores’s birthday party and how they’d like to see Teresa and Jacqueline get their friendship back on track. As if on cue, Jacqueline shows up. I wonder if she called first. They open some champagne. I liked champagne for about 10 minutes when I was in my 30s.

Jacqueline tells them about her meeting with Teresa. Siggy and Dolores act like two cheerleaders, jumping up and down when Jacqueline says she and Teresa are going to rebuild their friendship. They toast to the new year and new beginnings.

Melissa visits Teresa. Teresa tells her about Jacqueline dropping by. In her interview, Melissa says Jacqueline is the type who wants answers, while Teresa just wants to move along. She hopes the kumbaya lasts.

Dolores and family gather for pizza and Italian take-out. Her ex lives down the block and everyone is friendly with everyone, including the ex’s girlfriend. They tell their kids the story of how the broke up and remained friends.

Siggy is meeting Teresa to plan Dolores’s party. She talks about herself in the third person in her interview and I’m like, please don’t do that. She wrote a book on relationships called Write Your Own Fairy Tale, which I vaguely remember seeing in the bookstore. She says she’s a true blue friend and likes old school people.

Theresa and Siggy meet at the restaurant where they’re having Dolores’s party and introduce themselves. Siggy likes Teresa right away. She shows Teresa the leopard patterned invitations. Dolores is going to wear red, with everyone else wearing accents of leopard. Siggy is concerned that guests might have to buy a leopard accessory, but Teresa tells her everyone in New Jersey has something leopard. I have to admit, she might be right.

Dolores’s paternal grandmother is 102 and reminds me of Big Edie from Grey Gardens. How come my grandmother wasn’t like that? Dolores is having her family over and they talk about how well she and her ex get along. She wonders if it has anything to do with her being single. Dolores also looks an awful lot like a brunette Dina and I keep doing double-takes, thinking Dina is back on the show.

It’s party time! Let the leopard wearing commence! Everything looks amazing. Teresa isn’t thrilled to see Kathy, but moves past it. She makes a toast to true and new friendships. In her interview, Dolores says she’s not keen on celebrating her birthday, but feels blessed that her friends have gathered in her honor and are showing the love.

Rosie shows up and feels like Teresa doesn’t hate her, but just doesn’t want to be bothered. Melissa invites everyone to her boutique opening. Siggy asks for funny stories about Dolores, with one guest telling them while another two act it out. Melissa volunteers first, talking about how Joe #2 had the hots for Dolores when they were kids. Teresa goes next and tells another prison sex story, which confuses me since it’s not about Delores, but maybe I missed something.

Afterwards, Melissa asks about Jacqueline and Teresa’s new friendship. In her interview, Melissa tells us that things are changin’ in Jersey. Dolores thanks everyone for being there for her. A leopard icing-ed cake with a sparkler in it is presented.

There’s a discussion of calories. Teresa asks Siggy about her husband and more TMI happens. Finally, it’s time to go home and Teresa is the designated driver for a drunk Melissa. I’m kind of surprised that the court allowed Teresa to go to a birthday party. Although it might classify as work. They call Joe #2 from the car, and tell him how drunk Melissa is. She’s actually pretty funny. They get to the house and Teresa helps her inside.

Next time, a champagne toast to Melissa’s boutique, Chris tells Jacqueline it’s becoming tough to pay the bills (tell me about it), and it’s getting close to Joe #1‘s jail time.

July 22, 2016 – GH a Deux & Quotes a Trois


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Scotty and Lucy meet at the MetroCourt. Lucy asks him what he wants and he says just dinner with his beautiful ex-wife. She knows he’s just trying to butter her up. She tells him to just let her know what it is she’s probably going to regret giving him.

Elizabeth tells Franco to quit lurking around. She says a lot of employees have called in sick because of the killer on the loose and it’s spooky enough. He says he’s not lurking; he has a gift for her.

Hayden asks Finn if he’s a drug addict.

Carly tells Sonny about Wendy, the kidney donor who got in contact with her. Sonny tells her to be careful and that there are a lot of frauds out there.

Yep. Carrrlos has a Brother. Sabrrrina calls him Jose, but he says now that he’s in the states, he goes by Joe. He’s very Rico Suave.

Franco gives Elizabeth a check for $6000. She says she can’t accept it. He says it’s for all her kids to go to summer camp.

Lucy says she was hoping that Scotty changed his ways, but he’s not going to twinkle his way into her pocketbook again. He says he’s just looking for work, but she says it always ends in disaster when they work together. She says he must have clients and Ava must keep him busy in and out of court. He says it’s not like that. He begs her not to leave him flapping in the wind. She says she’s broke.

Finn is appalled and asks what right Hayden has to ask that. Hayden says since she was recruited to get his meds. She tells him what she learned about the drug and how it’s akin to heroine. He tells her to back off. She says she was just trying to help. He says he appreciates that, but he thinks he’s found another solution.

Sonny tells Carly that until Julian is in prison, he’s a threat. He tells her about the arraignment being postponed. He has to leave and she promises not to do anything stupid. She gets a text from Wendy about meeting right away.

Joe says he found out where she was from the hospital, since he’s Teddy’s uncle. Michael comes in and tells Joe to get away from Sabrrrina, thinking that somehow Carrrlos survived. Sabrrrina tells him he’s not Carrrlos, but his brother.

Sabrrrina introduces Joe to Carrrlos, who produces ID. She says he left Puerto Rico when she was still a teenager. Joe tells Michael he’s a pediatric doctor now.

Franco says he was gifted with the money and he’s choosing to give some to Elizabeth for her children. When Elizabeth finally gets it out of him that the money came from Heather, she says she already signed up the boys for Lila’s Kids. Franco wonders what to do with the money and suggests they could use it for their first date. Elizabeth tells him to slow his roll and that she needs to think about it. Ric is lurking around the corner.

Lucy says her money was stolen by her broker, Raymond Berlin. Scotty sees Rachel’s mother at the bar.

Hayden says she’s sorry for doubting Finn. He says if she’s counting on him to restore her faith in humanity, God help them. She says she’ll start with only him then, and asks if he’s who she thinks he is or has he been lying the whole time?

Scotty and Lucy approach Naomi. She asks if she can help them. Lucy says she can start by coughing up the money her husband stole. Naomi says she’s no longer married to him, she doesn’t have the money and she doesn’t know where it is, so shoo. Lucy says she can’t dismiss them like that. Naomi asks who they are, and Lucy introduces herself and Scotty. Lucy asks again where the money is. Naomi says she knew she’d be slumming in going there.

Finn tells Hayden she expects too much, that people are flawed and struggle and fail. He says they’ll always disappoint you, but if he disappoints her in any way, it won’t be because he lied. Sonny comes to the door. Finn says Hayden was just leaving.

Ric says hello to Elizabeth. He tells her he’s working on a project for Sonny and asks if she’d like to get a cup of coffee. She’s like, with you? He says she won’t give him the time of day, but she’s mooning over Franco.

Sonny says the FBI might be interested in where Naomi is. Um…don’t they know already? I distinctly remember them questioning her after Nicholas’s “death.” Speaking of which, are we getting the old Nicholas back or are we stuck with this Chandlerish version? Naomi asks if she has to call security. Franco shows up and tells Lucy and Scotty about the money from Heather. Naomi overhears and gets weird about hearing Heather’s name. She faints.

Joe says he was estranged from his brother. He thought when he heard Carrrlos was dead, they’d never have a resolution. Then when he found out Carrrlos was still alive, while he was busy making up his mind about contacting him, Carrrlos was killed. He says Sabrrrina and Teddy are his only links to his brother and he doesn’t want to waste any more time.

Carly asks what the three of them did to Naomi. She says she doesn’t know what she would have done if the paramedics hadn’t been close by. She tells them they’d better order big for dinner.

Wendy shows up and introduces herself to Carly.

Sonny says he ran a background check on Finn, but none of his colleagues had anything to say, which implies there’s something to hide. He says he’ll help Finn, providing Finn returns the favor.

Michael asks why Joe and Carrrlos were estranged. Joe says they were very different people and wanted different things…sometimes. Sabrrrina says she actually dated Joe first. Joe says Carrrlos felt  abandoned when Joe left to go to medical school, and he feels like he failed his brother.

Franco picks up the tab for an elaborate dinner with Lucy and Scotty. Lucy asks what he’s going to do with the rest of the money. Scotty says it might be a good idea to retain a lawyer in case he becomes a murder suspect. Lucy seconds that, but Franco says no thanks.

Elizabeth tells Ric that Franco has worked hard to get his life on track. Ric says he’s playing her and Elizabeth says no, that’s him. She brings up how he lied to get her to marry him, and he counters with her lying to Jason. She says Franco was sick, but got better after treatment. She asks what Ric’s excuse is.

Hayden comes to the hospital. Naomi tells her she had a panic attack. Hayden wonders what precipitated it. Elizabeth walks in.

Carly asks Wendy what she does. Wendy says she works in a restaurant, but she wanted to be a nurse. Wendy asks how Jocelyn is and Carly says she’s doing well. Wendy explains that the kidney was more of a sale than a donation because she needed to pay for school. She says a friend of a friend hooked her up, and when she saw the story in Crimson, thought the donor must be her. Carly asks about her hospital records. Wendy says she had some serious post op complications and she could use help paying down the bills. Carly accuses her of looking for a payday.

Sonny asks Finn to take over Julian’s case. Finn says what then, and Sonny says Finn will “take care of him.” I guess we’re supposed to think Sonny means “kill him,” but I’ll bet that isn’t it. Finn says he’s not a hit man. Sonny says he’s not asking him to be. (Told ya.) He just wants Finn to make sure Julian can get to his arraignment. He says in return, he’ll get Finn a private plane and take him to where the drug is legal. He wants Julian’s progress sped along.

Wendy says if it wasn’t for her, Jocelyn wouldn’t be alive. Carly says she doesn’t even know if Wendy is really Jocelyn’s donor. Wendy shows her a scar and Carly writes a check. I thought she said she wasn’t going to do anything stupid? Carly tells her she’ll get more when Carly gets the medical information. Carly asks what Wendy’s blood type is. When Wendy says A/B, Carly says Jocelyn is B, so they’re not compatible.

Joe says he wants to help Sabrrrina and Teddy any way he can. Sabrrrina hesitates and he gives her his contact information. Sabrrrina tells him thanks and that she and Teddy are in a good place.

Scotty is aghast that Franco wanted to pay for Elizabeth’s kids’ summer camp. Lucy says she thinks it’s generous. Scotty asks what Franco thinks Jason is going to do when he finds out he’s been harassing Elizabeth. Franco says it’s not harassment when the feeling is mutual.

Hayden asks for another nurse. Elizabeth says they’re understaffed. Naomi tells Hayden to get her discharge papers because she’s feeling better. Hayden doesn’t want to leave her mother, since the killer is still free, but Elizabeth says don’t worry, nothing will happen on her watch. Hayden says except death by snark and Naomi suggests she was raised by wolves. Naomi asks Elizabeth about herself and as Elizabeth is talking, Naomi has another attack.

Finn asks what if Julian is really sick? Sonny says he’s heard Finn is a miracle worker and all he wants is Julian healthy for court. Finn says okay.

Wendy asks Carly not to call the cops. Carly asks where she got the scar. Wendy asks what difference does it make? Carly tells her to take the check and go.

Michael says he knows what it’s like to seek redemption from family and that Joe could have walked away and never looked back. He says Sabrrrina will eventually come around.

Carly and Sonny confer. Carly tells him that Wendy wasn’t the person they’re looking for, but she’s in it for the long haul. Sonny says they’ll do it together.

Naomi recovers. Hayden asks what happened. Naomi says she felt flushed, but it passed. Elizabeth leaves to get medication. Hayden says something nasty about Elizabeth and Naomi tells her to knock it off and that they should learn to get along with each other. What does Naomi care? Please don’t tell me we’ll find out these two are related.

Scotty says he doesn’t want to see Jason kill Franco. Lucy tells him not to overreact. Franco gets a call. It’s Elizabeth. She suggests a date tomorrow night. Franco says he’ll pick her up at seven. He hangs up and tells Scotty and Lucy that he and Elizabeth are officially more than friends. Ric bugs Elizabeth because he’s nosy.

Hayden wants to call her father’s attorney about Naomi’s condition. She thinks her father should know what’s going on. When she leaves, Naomi says her father won’t care – not the one she knows or the one she doesn’t know.

Tomorrow, Morgan forgets his meds, Julian wants more of the drug that gave him the heart episode, and Kristina says it was the best night of her life with Parker. Gee, sorry, Aaron.

General Hospital – Friday

Kristina surprises Parker with a room service breakfast. Parker says last night was a big step and asks if Kristina is okay. Kristina tells her it was the best night of her life. Parker says it was amazing for her too, but it must have been different for Kristina. Kristina says she now knows the difference between having sex and making love.

Morgan wakes Kiki. He tells her that he feels that things are falling into place. Kiki asks Morgan not to post anything about them on social media yet because she wants to talk to her mother first. She has to leave for work and Morgan tells her he loves her. She says, “me too,” and we all know what that means.

Dillon sits down with Tracy at the MetroCourt. He says they haven’t had breakfast together in a while and she tells him that’s hard when he spends nights in someone else’s bed. Tracy asks if she’s going to meet a young woman soon. She sees Sonny and Finn talking, and tells Dillon he just got a reprieve from her questions.

Griff tells Julian whatever caused his heart issues seems to have passed. He says the sooner Julian is out of there, the sooner his father will have justice, and so will Julian’s wife. He tosses Julian the divorce papers.

Laura says it’s been eight hours since Valentine went upstairs and all they’ve heard is a gunshot. She wonders if something has happened to Nicholas.

Ava tells Valentine she had trouble sleeping after Valentine killed Nicholas. He says it was regrettable and she asks why he let her live.

Finn tells Sonny he’ll do everything in his power to make sure Julian stands trial, but he won’t do anything unethical. Sonny says he respects Finn’s code, since he has one of his own. When he leaves, Tracy asks Finn what’s going on.

Griff tells Julian that Alexis dropped off the papers while he was sleeping and apparently doesn’t want to talk to him.

Valentine says he let Nicholas go out fighting like a Cassadine. He tells Ava she didn’t ask for any of this, so he wants her to be comfortable. He’s surprised that she doesn’t seem alarmed. She says she understands vendettas and to Google her. He says she’s trying to find common ground so he spares her. She tells him that he went to a lot of trouble to be king of the castle, and what’s a king without a queen?

Kiki waits on Dillon at the MetroCourt. He says he can go somewhere else if he’s making her uncomfortable, but she says she doesn’t want him running when he sees her. She asks if they can’t go back to being just friends.

Tracy says Finn hasn’t answered any of her calls and she’s worried about him. He says he appreciates the kindness, but his problem is being handled. She says good, because she hasn’t forgotten about the backgammon rematch.

Sonny asks Aaron how business is going and he says great. Sonny want to talks about Kristina – man to man. Aaron says he’ll be happy to. Sonny says Aaron gives a good first impression and seems sincere. Aaron says the business thing was Kristina’s idea and he doesn’t want Sonny to think that’s the reason he got together with Kristina. He says he respects Kristina and wants to assure Sonny that he’s all about supporting her. He says they’ve been honest with each other about their pasts.

Parker says she was in Kristina’s shoes once too. Kristina says her mother told her she was just confused, but last night was far from confusing. She says she felt something she never felt before. Parker says it was a beautiful moment, but it was just a moment, and when the convention is over, she has to get back to what’s left of her life.

Doc tells Laura that Valentine is using psychological tactics and explains what he thinks Valentine is doing. He says not to worry about Nicholas, but figure out a way that Lulu can slip out. Lulu and Dante discuss who’s going to leave. She thinks that Dante just wants her out of harm’s way. That might be true, but she is the smallest and probably the most agile. Dante makes Lulu repeat the tunnel directions again. He asks if she’s ready to go and says they have to create a distraction.

Ava says she can offer Valentine a lot of advice, and in exchange, she sits at his right hand and in his bed. He asks if it isn’t a ruse and she tells him to frisk her. Woo-woo!

Kristina says she and Parker have a connection. Parker agrees, but says their relationship is all kinds of inappropriate and she has things to figure out, as does Kristina.

Kiki tells Dillon that she and Morgan “made things official” last night, and she didn’t want him to hear about it elsewhere, which I guess means Facebook. He congratulates her. A table full of guys calls her over. They act rude. One of them says it’s his birthday, and he wants Kiki to help blow out the candles. Dillon overhears.

Finn gets to the hospital and starts looking over some folders. Griff startles him and asks why he’s looking at Julian’s chart. He adds that Finn doesn’t seem okay.

Mystery cronie goes to Julian’s room. Julian tells him he needs more of whatever it was that gave him the heart episode, so he can postpone the arraignment again. He says when Ava gets back and he makes bail, he can make some moves. Julian’s guy is concerned this might not be a good idea.

Ava says of course she’s using Valentine’s attraction to her to her advantage. She says she always picks the winning side and suggests he strip search her. They start making out. While he’s distracted, she whacks him with the huge family history book. Valentine starts yelling.

Downstairs, Dante uses this to his advantage and starts an argument with Doc. Lulu runs out while a guard is busy with them. One of the guards brings Ava back downstairs. I don’t know why she didn’t play this out longer. There are a whole lot of better ways this could have gone.

Kristina says they all have things to figure out – it’s called life – and if she waited until she was sure about everything, she wouldn’t do anything. Parker says as long as she can tell herself Parker is the only woman she’s attracted to, she’ll never have to explore if she’s really gay.

Aaron tells Sonny that he knows about the guys who have treated Kristina badly and he’d never disrespect her. Morgan comes by and Aaron goes back to work. Morgan tells Sonny everything is great, and he and Kiki are giving their relationship another shot. He says nothing is going to come between them this time.

Dillon goes over to the table that was hassling Kiki, telling him he’s the manager there while he’s waiting to get his MBA. He says someone heard them mentioning PCU and thinks they might be underage, so he has to go through the formality of looking at their IDs. I’m so glad I moved to NYC when the drinking age was 18. Not that anyone ever checked my ID anyway. Dillon asks whose birthday it is, and they admit that it isn’t any of them. Kiki, who’s carrying a cupcake with a candle, says she guesses no one is getting the cake then, and she and Dillon eat it instead.

Griff tells Finn that he’s worried about him. Finn says thanks, but he has work to do. Griff says as a peer, he has to report anything amiss. He says they can figure out a way to approach the board and save Finn’s reputation, but Finn says he has nothing to confess.

Ava tells Laura that Nicholas is dead. Oh come on. The last time he fell off a balcony, he ended up in England, so who knows? Maybe he bounced back to Port Charles.

Kiki tells Dillon those jerks have been bothering her all summer. They come close to flirting. Dillon says he needs to get back to breakfast and she thanks him for the assist.

Sonny tells Morgan that hardships will be thrown at him in life, but he knows to reach out now. Suddenly, Morgan realizes he left his meds at the hotel. Sonny offers to go get them and reminds Morgan of how important they are.

Kristina says maybe she’s not into labels. Parker says she can’t embrace “no labels” if she’s avoiding the questions herself. Kristina says if Parker wants to pull back, she can’t pin that on her. She says no one questions high school sweethearts who are couples throughout their lives, and Parker says but they’re not in high school and they’re not a couple. Kristina asks her if it would be so bad if they were a couple?

Ava tells Laura and Doc what happened upstairs. Laura is pretty freaked out. She asks if Ava actually saw him fall and Ava says yes. Laura starts to cry and Doc holds her, telling her they’ll get through it. Valentine comes downstairs. He says he was willing to take Ava up on her offer, but now he’s going to end her life.

Dillon sits back down. He tells Tracy that he and Kiki are just friends and she laughs, saying from the look of it, that will never be enough for them. Kiki calls Morgan to tell him she loves him. She realized she left him hanging with that “me too.”

Finn tells Julian whatever it was, he seems fine now, and turns him over to Griff. Griff says it might have been a panic attack, but Julian says he thinks something is really wrong. Finn tells Sonny that Julian has the all clear and Sonny says he’ll get the plane ready for tonight.

Kristina accuses Parker of getting her out of her system and then wanting nothing to do with her. Parker says they both know it isn’t going to work. Kristina wants to know why they just can’t let tomorrow be tomorrow and kisses Parker. Sonny sees this from the stairway on his way to Morgan’s room. I’m surprised his eyes don’t pop out of his head like a cartoon.

Lulu gets lost in the tunnels. She trips over a skeleton. Great. I guess someone else got lost a while ago.

Laura, verging on hysteria, starts lecturing Valentine. She says he claims to hate the Cassadines, but acts just like one of them. She says Nicholas wasn’t like that and would have welcomed him into the family. She tells him she’s never going to cooperate and he might as well kill her too. Valentine says this is what happens when you don’t cooperate and raises the gun. Doc intervenes and gets shot.

On Monday, Kristina sees Sonny, Hayden asks Finn about where he’s getting the drugs, and Laura asks Doc if he can open his eyes.

Quotes of the Week

Offense is always an opportunity to identify what is lacking in our own heart. — Unknown

If it works broke, don’t fix it. — Jill from Odd Mom Out

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.Marilyn Monroe

July 20, 2016 – GH & NYC Wives vs the Mohegan Sun


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Darby and Dillon bask in the afterglow. Bleh. Kiki sees Darby’s hashtags about their date.

Carly asks Morgan how it’s going. He says the new job is more his speed rather than lugging coffee bags around. He says he has plans with Kiki, but she might not be in the best mood after a run in with Dillon.

Sabrrrina tells Michael that Teddy’s getting better every day. He’s obviously distressed and she asks what’s wrong. He says he thought they were building a relationship, but he found out she applied for a lease on an apartment.

Alexis calls the hospital to see what’s up with Julian. Kristina asks what she’s doing.

Sonny wants to see Julian, but Felix says it’s after hours. He gives Sonny the skinny on Julian’s condition. Sonny thinks the timing is pretty convenient.

Julian talks to himself since he has no one else to talk to. Oh, wait, Carrrlos is there! He says Julian should have killed Alexis while he had the chance and now he has no future. He only has prison to look forward to.

Darby brings up Kiki, but Dillon says they agreed to stay away from that subject. She asks about his job and he says he looks at it like he’s a storyteller. Love her earrings, but it’s highly doubtful she’d be wearing gigantic ones to hit the sheets in.

Carly asks what happened with Kiki and Morgan tells her that Darby was with Dillon. He says Darby isn’t Kiki’s favorite person after she caught Morgan with her, so she was obviously annoyed. He asks about the kidney donor project and Carly says she has a couple of leads. Morgan tells her not to give up because he didn’t and now he’s president of the United States.

Carly sees Kiki outside. She asks about Kiki’s argument with Dillon. She says Kiki told her in the park that she was done with Dillon. Kiki says she is and Carly says she hopes so, because she doesn’t want Morgan’s progress hindered.

Alexis suggests that she and Kristina talk about Parker. She asks Kristina if she’s going to see Parker while she’s in town.

Sonny tells Felix that Julian is staging the whole thing. Meanwhile, Julian chats with Carrrlos, who tells him he took too much of the drug that gave him a heart episode and he’ll be joining Carrrlos soon, but at least that’s one way to get out of jail.

Sabrrrina says this isn’t the way she wanted Michael to find out. Michael says he thought they were finally in a good place and he was thinking about Teddy and their future, but now she wants to run away again.

Dillon has to leave for work. Darby keeps thinking up reasons he should stay, but it’s a no. He says he’s picking up food at the MetroCourt to eat in his office.

Carly says she’s not trying to attack Kiki and she understands if she has problems with Morgan, but she doesn’t want Kiki to lead him on. Kiki says she’s not and she knows how important the first few months out are. Carly leaves and Kiki meets Morgan, who got them a room at the MetroCourt. He says he doesn’t want to wait any longer, but Kiki says she doesn’t know if she’s ready.

Kristina says there’s no point in seeing Parker, since she’s dedicated to her wife. She just wants to put it behind her. Kristina leaves and Alexis looks at her wedding photo, which is creepily in the same place where the dagger was in the cabinet. She flashes back to the wedding.

Felix checks Julian’s vitals. Sonny watches from the doorway.

Carly sees Dillon at the MetroCourt and approaches him. She asks about Kiki, saying it seems like they’re pretty close. She says Morgan is completely invested in Kiki and things might go bad if Dillon continues to pursue her. Not too much meddling.

Kiki says she doesn’t know what the big rush is. Morgan says he never stopped loving her. Kiki talks about the last time they were together and how his medication interfered. She wonders how he’ll react if it happens again. Morgan says he has his emotions under control now. Kiki says things were good until they went bad, and she doesn’t know if she can do it again. He asks if she still loves him.

Kristina goes to Parker’s hotel room. Parker tells her she shouldn’t be there, but Kristina says she’ll just be a minute. OMG – I love her shirt! It’s blue with thin white stripes, and has a crossover neckline. The huge sleeves are the best part though. Parker says it’s Kristina’s closure, so she should say what’s important. Kristina tells her she’s moving on and has met a great guy.

Felix tells Sonny his presence is agitating the patient. Sonny says the patient is a coward who’s afraid of his own shadow, and leaves. Julian says something about “him” being there. I’m guessing Felix thinks he means Sonny, but he’s talking about Carrrlos. Felix tells Julian there’s plenty of security and he’ll be fine. When Felix leaves, Carrrlos returns, popping out from under the bed. That Carrrlos, he’s such a card.

Alexis runs into Sonny at the hospital and says she wasn’t expecting to see him there. He asks if she’s there to visit Julian.

Sabrrrina says the last thing she wants to do is run away. Michael asks why she’s leaving then. She says she doesn’t want to take advantage of him. She wants to give him his space, and if they’re going to date, they shouldn’t be living together. He says he doesn’t want space and everything he needs is right in front of him.

Parker asks if Aaron knows about her. Kristina says yes and no. Parker asks if she left out the part where she’s a woman, which Kristina admits. Parker tells Kristina that her journey is her own and she’ll know who the right one is, whether it’s a man or woman. She tells Kristina she wishes her all good things. Kristina notices Parker isn’t wearing her wedding ring and Parker tells her the marriage is over.

Carly asks Dillon what’s going on between him and Kiki. Darby is suddenly at the table with something Dillon left at her apartment.

Kiki tells Morgan she just wants to take her time. He starts to get agitated, saying he’s always going to be stupid and a screw up. She kisses him and tells him he’s wrong about that. They start making out.

Julian says Carrrlos isn’t real. Carrrlos says what’s real is that he’s going to prison. He says thanks to Julian’s wife, the cops have all the evidence they need. He laughs about how Alexis got Julian to admit he killed both Carrrlos and Duke. He says the world knows who he is now and there’s no going back. Unless…

Sonny tells Alexis that Julian took something to stall the arraignment. He asks why she’s there and she pulls out divorce papers, asking him if he can think of a better time to serve Julian. Sonny says good for her.

Michael tells Sabrrrina he’s not asking for a commitment and the priority is Teddy’s health. He asks if they’re dating and she says yes. They kiss. His phone rings with an ELQ crisis. He says he’ll be back as soon as he can. He asks if he can rip up the application and Sabrrrina tells him she and Teddy aren’t going anywhere.

Kristina tells Parker she feels horrible, but Parker says it has nothing to do with her. She says it was a long time coming. Parker starts to cry and Kristina puts her arm around her.

Morgan and Kiki get to the hotel room and he tells her all systems are go. I guess so, since the next stop is the bed.

Darby and Dillon make out for a second and Carly is like, don’t let me interrupt. Carly leaves, and Darby asks what Carly was questioning him about. Dillon says it was a misunderstanding.

Carly goes behind the bar. Sonny is there and she says she wants to buy him a drink. She says they just dodged a bullet and tells him about her meddling. Sonny tells her she should mind her own business and that Morgan would be mortified if he found out. She says he’s not going to because Darby is with Dillon now.

Morgan focuses on Kiki’s scar and says he did that. Kiki says no, he didn’t, and she remembers almost nothing except his voice and his arms around her. She tells him she loves him and she came back for him. She says the scar is ugly, but a beautiful reminder that they didn’t die. There’s a song part while they do-dee-do-dee-do. I crop some pictures.

Julian tells Carrrlos that he’s not real and to go away. Carrrlos says there’s only one way out, to kill Alexis. Although that doesn’t make much sense, since the police already have the evidence. Julian says he wishes he could go back and re-do it all because he loves Alexis so much.

Sonny says Carly dodged a bullet, but not the one she thinks. He says Morgan would be highly pissed off if he found out, and makes her promise to stay out of it. Carly gets a text from the donor she’s supposed to meet. Sonny says he wanted to run interference, so she didn’t have to be disappointed if things didn’t pan out. She promises not to get her hopes up.

Darby asks about later, but Dillon says he doesn’t know how long he’ll be working and he’ll call later. She leaves and he sees a picture of Kiki on his laptop. Meanwhile, instead of basking in the afterglow, Kiki doesn’t look very happy.

Kristina says she knows what Parker means by being confused. She is too. She says Aaron is a great guy, but she can’t help thinking about Parker. They kiss. A lot. And start taking off their clothes.

Alexis approaches Julian’s bed. He’s sleeping and she tosses the divorce papers onto the bed. Onto him really.

Sabrrrina says she and Teddy are finally getting their happy ending. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Carrrlos. But he’s all cleaned up with his hair back in nice clothes. Ha-ha! Told you he’d never die. I wonder if it’s a twin or something.

Tomorrow, Franco has something for Elizabeth, Lucy asks Scotty what he wants, and Sonny says he’ll help Finn if Finn helps him out.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Mohegan Sun trip! The hotel is kitschy, but cool. I like stuff like that. Niagara Falls, Canada, is one of my favorite places in the world. It’s like something out of the 50s. Surprisingly wisely, Ramona has everyone draw for the rooms. Like pick-a-card. Since she’s the hostess though, she already has her room set up. Dorinda says on a trip, two things are certain, Ramona gets the best room and Carole and Bethenny bunk together.

Jules tells Sonja it’s odd that the creator of the Skinnygirl brand is picking on a real skinny girl. She says she’s never sharing anything personal with Bethenny again, and that for someone who claims to know so much about eating disorders, Bethenny doesn’t know how to treat someone who has one. Good point. I like Bethenny, but sometimes she goes too far.

At dinner, Ramona’s holiday party is rehashed. Bethenny doesn’t want to hold a grudge against Sonja, who she thinks doesn’t mean any harm. We travel down Memory Lane about Sonja’s nonsense. Bethenny claims Sonja has more clarity now that she’s stopped drinking. They discuss the bus trip over. Dorinda was once a step instructor and apparently displayed her talents on the way there. She and Bethenny discuss step and yoga. Bethenny shows off a pose where she’s basically on her head doing the splits in the air. Ramona talks about how no one answers their phone anymore. None of them can get in touch with The Countess.

Next, the girls do a little gambling. Not my thing. I think they’re playing Blackjack, but I think everything looks like Blackjack. The extent of my gambling career is an evening in Atlantic City at the slot machines while waiting for a Barry Manilow concert. Neither one of us wanted to be there. In her interview, Bethenny says when she was broke, she loved to gamble because what’s more money on your credit card? (Well, your credit rating, for one.) But when you’re successful, losing fifty bucks makes you cry. Dorinda says she’s a Catholic gambler – when she gets the money, she’s all excited, but when she loses, she wants to crucify herself.

Ramona and Sonja dance with glow sticks on the patio.

Carole got an email from an agent saying the proposal for the cook book is adorable and marketable. She reads it to Adam. She tells him that it will be about a year before it comes out, if they sell it. She talks about her friends and how no one has “figured it out” yet as far as relationships go, and that they seem to be the most “normal” of the bunch. She points out how everyone razzed them in the beginning. Carole says no matter what, they’ll always have Paris the book. They talk about what might happen if they break up. On a scale of one to ten, Carole says her happiness is an eight. Adam says his is a ten, but Carole doesn’t believe him because he waited for her to go first.

Ramona goes shopping with Sonja. They discuss the trip to Mohegan Sun and Sonja points out that they all got along, which is probably why we saw so little of the trip. She says it means a lot to her that she and Bethenny reconnected. Ramona wants to organize an engagement party for The Countess. Sonja thinks she’s out of her mind. Ramona can’t get ahold of The Countess and wants to text Tom, but Sonja tells her not to. Too late, she already did it. Sonja thinks it was a bad idea and that The Countess might not like it since Ramona and Tom had dated. Ramona suggests Sonja not bring up that they both had relationships with Tom anymore. Throughout this entire scene, Ramona has been wearing a faux fur maxi vest that she was trying on and I can’t help but notice the clerk keeping an eye on her. And rightly so, since she’s been known to walk off with clothes she doesn’t own before. On top of it, she joked about how she could walk out with it. On second thought, I’d be making her take it off unless she pays for it.

Bethenny puts an Elsa-from-Frozen hat on her dog and takes a picture. She and her assistant are packing up some stuff for Brinn, who Bethenny is taking on a ski trip. Bethenny is disappointed that she’s going to have to take it easy because of her medical issues. She’s also concerned about the altitude. Her assistant doesn’t think it’s a good idea for her to go at all, but Bethenny says she doesn’t want to disappoint Brinn. She thinks Bethenny is a little bit in denial about being sick.

Ramona and Dorinda meet for lunch. Or dinner. Ramona tells Dorinda she finally got ahold of The Countess and told her they want to do something for her. Dorinda can’t figure out why Ramona would want to be the one to host the party. She mentions that The Countess isn’t too thrilled about her having dated Tom. She says when you’re dating someone, you want to forget anyone else existed in their life. Ramona says The Countess told her everything is cool now. We flash back to their talk when The Countess reamed her out. Dorinda thinks it’s a better idea for her to host, especially since she introduced them.

Jules, who’s wearing a fabulous high-end sweatshirt, is meeting with a potty training specialist. It’s only two grand for a guarantee the kid will learn to use the toilet in a few days. I am not making any of this up and think I might change careers. One of the first things the trainer tells her is to say, “it’s time to go,” rather than asking if they “want to go,” which makes it sound like it’s optional. That makes perfect sense, but not $2000 worth.

The girls are meeting at a restaurant to celebrate The Countess’s engagement. Dorinda conferred with The Countess, who wasn’t comfortable with Ramona throwing a party and preferred that Dorinda organize it. The Countess is late, and Dorinda tells everyone that she thinks now that they can get along, they should take a real trip. She passes out leis to let them know it’s going to be Hawaii. In all my years on this earth, not one of my friends has surprised me with a trip to Hawaii.

Carole shows up, saying she didn’t know she was going to get leid. Ha-ha, groan. They discuss whether The Countess is mad about Tom having dated Sonja and Ramona. It seems to be a split decision. Carole says if anyone deserves to be married, it’s The Countess, as she’s a better woman with a man than without one.

The Countess arrives. In her interview, she says the night is all about her, so she’s going to put the last gathering behind her. Carole tells The Countess that she’s genuinely happy for her and gives her a gift of a heart crystal. The Countess shows off her huge yellow diamond ring that Tom picked out. It’s okay. He proposed during their trip to Vail and The Countess tells them all about it. A toast is made. In her interview, Sonja says she hopes The Countess is sure, since she never thought of Tom as the marrying type.

The Countess says they’re probably going to wait until the new year to get married. In her interview, Sonja says a year from now, The Countess could be engaged to someone else. The Countess passes around a picture of Tom proposing. Who took that? The Countess holds up her glass to make a toast when Ramona interrupts with her own. The Countess tells her to back off and makes her toast.

Next time, a yachting cruise, Bethenny gets a text and wonders if the wedding is off, Ramona wonders how Sonja is going to feel seeing Tom again.

** Interesting information: I was watching The Bravos, and Patricia Altschul from Southern Charm won the Susan Lucci Award. She thanked her son, Whitney Sudler-Smith, for being the creator and producer of the show. I hadn’t known that!


July 19, 2016 – GH, Having & Not, & a Deck Plane Ticket Home


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Why? Why when there’s “breaking news,” it’s always between 3 and 4 pm? This time it’s a crane collapse on the Tappan Zee bridge. There were no life threatening injuries. So why do we need to be hearing about this now?

Alexis answers the door to Diane who tells her it’s time for Julian’s arraignment. Diane sees the pregnancy test and asks Alexis if she’s pregnant.

Griff tells Julian there’s no reason he can’t be released into police custody, answering the question in my head. One of Julian’s cronies comes in and Julian tells him he’s not going anywhere.

Curtis and Jordan run into each other at the MetroCourt. She thanks Curtis for intervening with her and TJ. He says it seemed best for everyone to bury the hatchet and move forward. He says forgiveness feels better than carrying a grudge and maybe she should try it some time.

Dante asks Valentine why they’re being held hostage. Nicholas rephrases and repeats the question. Valentine points out his brief mention in the family record book. He says he’s disappointed and insulted and Nicholas tells him to get over it. Valentine complains that Nicholas was raised in luxury while he was raised in squalor. Nicholas says sorry, but there’s nothing he can do about that now. Valentine says he wants it all.

Jordan tells Curtis that she’s grateful and that she and TJ are going to visit Shawn. Andre arrives and Curtis excuses himself. Andre asks Jordan what’s up with TJ.

Alexis says she’s not pregnant and Diane thanks God, saying they have one less thing to worry about than they did two seconds ago. She asks if Alexis is okay. Alexis says, hardly.

Griff asks Valerie if there’s been any progress in catching the murderer. She says when it happens, she’ll probably find out on social media. Griff tells her about Julian being discharged from the hospital.

Julian’s cronie says that what he’s talking about is dangerous. Julian tells his guy to get out of the hospital, since he doesn’t want him around when whatever goes down. Griff comes in with the test results.

Diane thinks that Alexis’s pregnancy scare might have brought out some feelings. She says Julian being a vile human being doesn’t change that he’s Alexis’s husband and she once loved him.

Jordan explains to Andre that TJ learned Shawn was his father. She tells him about how Curtis stepped in to encourage TJ to make peace, and now she and TJ are going to visit Shawn. Andre says he can imagine how difficult it’s been keeping the secret, especially since she didn’t tell him about it.

Curtis and Nina sit down for lunch. He says he encountered a slight hiccup in Claudette’s room. Nina says Nathan told her about Maxie and she needs to call off the investigation.

Valentine wants Nicholas to sign over all of his assets to him. Nicholas tells him the request is absurd. He says he owes Valentine nothing. It sucks that he grew up poor, but Nicholas didn’t know about it. He says he’ll be glad to help Valentine out, but he’s not just handing over everything. Valentine replies that he can shoot the hostages one by one and grabs Ava. This is kind of a stupid plan. I seriously think his sudden good fortune would be questioned.

Valentine thinks Nicholas might be more cooperative if he picks Laura. Nicholas says he’s offering Valentine an absurd amount of money, but Valentine says he wants the whole shebang.

Nina says she wants to know everything about Claudette, but Nathan has talked her out of having her investigated. She says it’s the right thing to do and Curtis says there’s a lot of that going around.

Jordan says she doesn’t make a habit of broadcasting her business. Andre says he’d like to think they’re involved with each others lives, but instead of coming to him for support, she handled it on her own. He says if she’s not going to include him in her life, it doesn’t give them much to build on.

Nina tells Curtis to concentrate on the unethical surgeon project. He says a doctor has already put him on the trail of illegal fillers.

Oh yay, an update from Mayor Cuomo which we need like…I can’t even think of anything.

Diane says she’s thrilled that Alexis no longer has feelings for Julian because he’s going under. She says the less nostalgic Alexis feels about him, the better. Alexis gets a call from the commissioner, who wants to see her before the arraignment. Diane says she’ll come along. Alexis says she doesn’t need a lawyer for that, but Diane says she’s going as a best friend. They hug.

Griff checks Julian’s vitals. He tells Julian he suffered some kind of cardio episode. Griff says Julian is stable now, but it might be symptomatic of something else, so they’ll have to watch him. He’s ordering tests to find out what happened. What happened is, Julian fooled him.

Nicholas says he’ll sign everything over. He tells Ava he doesn’t see any other way out at the moment. She suggests that once Nicholas gives him everything, Valentine won’t need him anymore and might kill all of them anyway. Lulu tells Laura it’s okay and Nicholas knows what he’s doing. Laura jokes to Doc that he must be glad he came along. He says so far they make a great team and he thinks there’s a way out that doesn’t involve someone dying.

Alexis and Diane go to Jordan’s office. Jordan thanks Alexis for being cooperative. Diane says they’ll expect a statement from the PCPD about Alexis being pivital in Julian’s arrest. Jordan gets a call saying that there’s been a problem.

Valerie approaches Curtis and they start kissing. Nina tells them lunch is over and to go have fun.

Laura says one of the tunnels goes to the harbor. She says you can get there through the wine cellar, but if you make a wrong turn, you’ll end up in the lab compound. She explains how to get to the wine cellar. Doc says there are more hostages than guards and they can create a distraction. Geez, with everyone just milling around and the guards snoozing, they could have been out of there an hour ago.

Nicholas tells Valentine to let everyone go. Valentine says get signing. Surprisingly, there aren’t that many papers and only one place needed for a signature. After Nicholas signs the document, Valentine says he has to tie up some loose ends, starting with Ava. He aims his gun at her, but Nicholas grabs his arm. For all the years this guy had to plan this, you’d think he’d have thought it out better. Seriously, wouldn’t anyone think it’s odd that Nicholas did this? When he’s supposed to be dead? And if Valentine kills everyone, won’t that be even more suspicious?

Jordan says the arraignment will have to be postponed because Julian has taken a turn for the worse.

Dante makes Lulu repeat the directions to him. Laura is worried about Nicholas, who is upstairs, struggling with Valentine. Valentine shoots Nicholas who falls backward over the balcony. He’s getting good at that.

Tomorrow, Carly wonders whats going on between Dillon and Kiki, Sabrrrina wants to move out, Parker and Kristina meet, and Ghost Carrrlos makes an appearance.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hannah tells Jim that Wyatt OD’d. He asks what happened, but she doesn’t have the details. She tells him Wyatt was found at a hotel, but she doesn’t know if he was alone or who found him. Jim calls for the guard. He says he needs to see DA Jennifer right now. He gets aggressive and a guard takes him down. He begs Hannah to tell Jennifer something and she says she’s not his messenger. He offers to pay her, but she says she doesn’t want his money. Hannah walks out as Jim is dragged back to his cell. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Benny tells War that David did something to his phones. War asks if Benny wants him to deal with it, but Benny says he’ll talk to him personally. War tells him to chill out. Mitch is out in the parking lot. After blocking the entrance to the office with a truck, he puts a spare tire in War’s trunk. He goes inside and asks if there’s been any calls. Benny says no, and adds that War told him to calm down. Mitch says that doesn’t sound like War.

Benny and Mitch are about to leave and War blocks the door. When Mitch wonders what the hell, War says he was just playing and leaves. Benny and Mitch decide to visit David. War comes back and wants Mitch to move his car.

Jeffrey takes Melissa to “their” room. She thinks it’s nice, but he tells her not to get too comfortable. He asks her what it feels like to be a two bit whore and she tells him that he ought to know. She says she doesn’t want this either, but she has to take care of her parents. She tells him if he has an alternative, she’d be glad to hear it. He says he’s getting out of it. Melissa says if he can find a way out where she can still give money to her parents, she’ll take his mother down, but if not, he’d better act like she’s the hottest thing on the planet.

Veronica sees David. He tells her he’s there for his son and she tells him not to ruin the festivities. Melissa and Jeffrey come downstairs. David tells Jeffrey they’re leaving. He says he’s filed for divorce and Jeffrey isn’t safe there. Veronica says Jeffrey isn’t leaving, and Jeffrey tells David he’s staying there. David says Veronica has nothing on him now, but Jeffrey says she does. David says whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. Veronica says it is. She says Jeffrey and Melissa are moving in until after the baby comes. David tells her she’s crazy and Veronica says they’ve already established that. She tells Melissa to leave them. David tries to get Jeffrey to tell him what Veronica is holding over him. and Veronica tells him to go ahead. Jeffrey says nothing.

There’s a phone call for Veronica. It’s Kathryn. Veronica tells her she’ll be right there and tells David and Jeffrey that Wyatt is dead. David keeps telling Jeffrey to come with him. David finally leaves and Veronica tells Jeffrey first David’s bitch dies, and now his does, but he still has Melissa and the baby.

Candace meets War with the money. He asks what took her so long and she says Lloyd had to call three branches to make it happen. He asks if he has to count it and she says it’s all there. He congratulates her for coming through. She asks if they’re good, and he says he keeps his word. He says he’s sorry about all this and she says she’s sorry too. She says she should have told him about the money in the beginning and thanks him for having her back. He says she has his respect back. She asks him to call if he’s coming by. They part company. Alone in her car, Candace begins to cry.

Jeffrey asks why Veronica is just sitting there and accuses her of lying about Wyatt. He tells her he’s going to the Cryers. She says she needs him to drive her since she’s been drinking and tells him to sit down. She says he’s grieving his man, but Jeffrey says Wyatt was his friend. She says if looks could kill, she’d be dead and asks if that’s what he wants. She says it’s just as well about Wyatt, since Wyatt was ruining him. She prattles on about Melissa, obviously getting drunk, and starts talking about how poor Black girls always want to eat fried chicken and Melissa wouldn’t know a vegetable if she saw one.

Veronica gets another drink. She tells Jeffrey that when he stops his pansy-ass sniveling, they can go to the Cryers. She doesn’t want him going in all sappy. She says she’s glad Melissa is having a boy so she can have a do-over and raise a man. She says whenever she sees him, she wants to give him an ass-whoopin’ again. She moves on to how he sure got Quincy back and tells him to dry his eyes so they can go.

She calls Alice in and tells her they have to postpone the party. She also tells her to burn all of the clothing Jeffrey brought with him. She has a new wardrobe for him upstairs. She lets Melissa know they have to leave for a while. She says Alice will help her unpack and suggests Melissa take a bubble bath. She makes Jeffrey kiss Melissa, telling him that’s what feminine lips taste like.

War gets stopped by the police. An officer tells him to step out of the car. The cops have their guns drawn and he’s told to get on his knees. He gets cuffed and the car is searched, one of the officers saying they’ve heard he’s dealing again. They find the money in the trunk, along with cocaine in the tire Mitch put there. Good one, Mitch! As they take War away, he swears revenge on Candace, who he thinks set him up.

Hannah brings Kathryn something to eat, but Kathryn says she can’t. Veronica and Jeffrey come to the door. Veronica throws her coat on the floor and tells Hannah to pick it up. Hannah tells her to pick it up her damn self. I guess Veronica didn’t get the memo about Hannah quitting her job. Jeffrey joins Kathryn on the couch and starts to cry. Hannah comforts him. Veronica sits and tells Jeffrey that they’re there to show strength to Kathryn. Kathryn says it’s fine and that they knew how much Jeffrey loved Wyatt. Veronica tells Hannah that her son doesn’t need to be comforted and Hannah says neither does hers, but Veronica does it anyway. Veronica says on this side of the tracks, they’re civilized, and Jeffrey’s acting like he comes from her neighborhood. Hannah tells Jeffrey it’s okay. Veronica tells her to quit touching her son and Hannah says as soon as Veronica quits touching hers, because Veronica didn’t learn from her first remark.

Kathryn tells Veronica that she didn’t need to come; she just didn’t want her to hear it on the news. Veronica wants to leave, but Jeffrey wants to see Wyatt because it doesn’t seem real. Veronica tells Jeffrey to stop embarrassing her and get in the car. Kathryn offers to have her driver take Veronica home, and Veronica argues with her. Hannah asks what kind of mother Veronica is to treat Jeffrey this way when he’s hurting. Veronica says this is why she wanted to wait. She wants him to stop being a drama queen and get up. She harangues him, asking why he keeps looking at the bottle on the lunch tray. He tells her it’s because he wants to hit her with it. She laughs and asks what’s stopping him. He says because she’s his mother. She says real men have the heart for battle, but he’s not a real man, sitting there crying over another man. He says Wyatt was his friend. She says they all loved Wyatt, but not one of the women in the room is acting like he is, not even Wyatt’s mother.

Kathryn offers her driver again, but Veronica says she wants Jeffrey to get it. She says she’s sorry and she shouldn’t have brought him. Whoa. As she’s babbling at him, Jeffrey takes the knife from the tray and stabs her. Alrighty then.

Next time, Jeffrey thinks he killed Veronica, David asks who would want to kill Wyatt, Jim and David talk.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Ben sniffles over Julia’s criticism. Hannah hugs him and he says he doesn’t want anyone to see. In his interview, Ben says he cares about people, not where they were educated. Hannah tells Julia she struck a nerve.

In his interview, Bobby says Danny’s cell phone is like his pacifier – as we see him in the break room staring at his own cell phone.

The yacht gets to Santorini. The captain says it’s a collapsed volcano that’s difficult to dock at. He orders donkeys for the guests to get to the town. That actually fits in really well with these guests. They also have to leave in the middle of the night to get their flight back. I pray one of these people falls off their donkey, but it doesn’t happen. In town, the guests meet up with one of their friends, Marcos.

Danny shows a video of him and his sister to Tiffany. Bobby and Julia take pictures of the sunset. Bobby wishes he and Julia could be closer and share the moment. Bryan is annoyed because he can’t find his black pants. Instead of asking Tiffany nicely to help, he acts like his normal a-hole self and wonders what’s wrong with her.

Julia approaches Ben. He says they’ll talk later, but claims his mood has nothing to do with her.

The guests go back to the boat and I’m disappointed we didn’t see more of the town, which is beautiful. They bring Marcos back. It’s also his birthday. Think Ben will make another cake? Hannah asks Ben if he can turn the cheesecake into a birthday cake and he says sure. In her interview, Hannah says it seems like when you see a man cry, you have something on them, because Ben is acting so nice.

Ben tells Julia that it bothered him to be grouped in with the very people he doesn’t like and are the reason he left England. They hug it out and have some laughs. In her interview, Julia says Ben is a softie inside.

Hannah says the guests are the epitomy of money can’t buy you class, but she’s been killing them with kindness. They start the dinner with a shot. One of the guests falls out of his chair before he even drinks it, but manages not to spill a drop. After the fastest dinner ever, the birthday cheesecake is brought out.

Bryan sees Ben and Tiffany talking on the deck and acts like this doesn’t bother him. I silently cheer.

Bryan takes a picture of Danny talking with the guests while he has his phone. Danny jets to the captain before Bryan does, saying he made a mistake and needs to tell him about it. I swear, if Bryan put half the energy he uses complaining and making everyone’s life miserable into making money, he would be a millionaire. Danny claims he’d forgotten he had his phone in his pocket and one of the guests asked him to take his number.

Ben tells Bryan they’re not there to teach Danny lessons. They’re supposed to be working together and getting him though the season. He says you can’t change someone in six weeks.

The captain talks to the guys about Danny. He tells them there’s only one more charter. Ben thinks they should give it a rest. The captain asks if Danny would show his phone and Bryan and Bobby follow him to his cabin. Danny has taken the sim card out and they accuse him of the Kennedy assassination.

The primary guest is thrilled with everything and hands the envelope to Captain Mark. Hannah wishes they’d just get off the boat already.

Tip time! Captain Mark says sometimes the most difficult charters don’t give the best tips, preparing the crew for it not being stellar. It’s 22,000 euros or 1,850 euros each.

Danny says something to Bobby and Bryan about being in love with each other. Captain Mark comes in and Danny explains that he took the sim card out so the captain would know he didn’t delete anything. Bobby gets crazy, saying he’ll beat Danny’s ass. In his interview, Danny says if you don’t stand up to a bully, you’ll be bullied your whole life. Bobby acts totally insane and when Tiffany asks him to keep it down, he gets even worse.

Bryan tells Danny he’s a liability. Danny does an imitation of Bryan trying to catch him doing something and tells him he’s a child. Bryan says he tried to look after Danny, but Danny is dead to him now. Danny says the only one Bryan ever looked out for was himself. Like the big baby he is, Bryan runs to the captain and exaggerates everything. Methinks Dany will be getting a plane ticket home.

Danny says instead of helping him grow, Bryan has hindered him from being the best he can be. He tells Captain Mark that Bryan and Bobby don’t trust him and he doesn’t trust them either. The captain says he doesn’t trust Danny either and (bingo!) gives him a ticket home. He says Danny’s work has been sub-par and he’s been a liability. Bryan escorts him to his cabin to pack up.

In his interview, Danny says the bullies came out on top and it doesn’t sit well with him. Ben tells Danny he’s sorry, but he doesn’t think yachting is for him. Jen thinks he’s lucky to have stayed this long. Danny says he doesn’t want sympathy and wants to leave on good terms with everyone, but it’s not possible with everyone. He says the beautiful thing about sub-par is that there’s room for improvement.

Idiot Bryan tells Danny that the trolleys are broken, so he’ll have to ride a donkey to town. In his interview, Bryan says the trolleys weren’t really broken and Bobby watches from the boat with binoculars. I totally get why Captain Mark fired Danny, but both Bobby and Bryan have something seriously wrong with them, while Danny is just immature.

Bobby claims Danny being gone will help Bryan’s attitude. Jen agrees that Danny might have been bringing people down, but thinks Bryan has a problem all his own. Julia can’t wait to get off the boat and go home.

The crew hangs out on deck. Bobby plays guitar and gifts Julia with a harmonica. Surprise talent! They play for a while, and then she leaves to call her boyfriend. In his interview, Bobby says it sucks being rejected over and over, and apparently he’s even more clueless than I thought, since she’s told him she;s not interested.

The captain – who must be legally blind – tells Bryan he handled things well. He says Bryan is officially the first mate going forward. Bryan tells the others that his probation is over. In her interview, Jen tells him congratualtaions; he’s officially a d-bag. I literally lol.

The crew takes a trolley up to town. Tiffany is excited to hang out with Ben. Let the drinking commence! Bobby toasts to Bryan. Ben and Tiffany make out. In his interview, Ben says it’s nice to have female company and not be obligated to anything.

Bobby chats up some girl. Julia is glad his attention is elsewhere. Bobby wants to bring the girl back to the boat, and Hannah tells him to quit being an idiot. He says they can do what they want because Danny got away with murder. Hannah says she outranks him, but obviously Bryan is giving his approval. Bobby leaves his lady behind. On the tender, Bobby gets nasty with Julia, calling her boyfriend names.

Next time, it’s the last charter, Tiffany asks for advice, Jen tells Bryan it hasn’t been a pleasure to work with him, and Ben and Hannah kiss.

July 18, 2016 – GH Welcomes a New Cassadine & the OG of the OC Continues Her Apology Tour


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Someone startles Julian awake. It’s Lucas. Julian tells him he’s not who everyone says he is. (Oh no, not the “that’s not me” excuse.) Lucas asks if he tried to kill Alexis, and Julian blames Carrrlos. That’s right, blame the dead guy. Julian claims he never would have gone through with it no matter how betrayed he felt. Lucas says that’s a laugh and Alexis wouldn’t be alive if Sonny hadn’t shown up. Lucas says Tony Jones is his father and Julian is nothing to him. I get nostalgic for the Tony days.

Alexis gets another pregnancy test because you can never have too many. Gotta catch ‘em all! Her daughters want to have a girls night in with her. She tries to beg off, but they won’t let her.

Finn is at the bar when Sonny comes in. He introduces himself and asks if he can buy Sonny a drink. Sonny astutely asks if he wants something. Finn asks why Sonny would ask that and Sonny says he thought Finn might want a favor back for the one he did Carly. I always forget that Finn’s name is actually Hamilton. It’s surprising that they haven’t used that as some kind of joke like they’ve done with Brad Cooper.

It’s nighttime and Tracy and Hayden are waiting in the park. Tracy thinks they’re waiting for Hayden’s drug dealer when Hayden’s mother comes strolling along. Hayden introduces Naomi to Tracy. Naomi asks what Hayden needs. Hayden says a mutual friend needs drugs.

Theo apparently isn’t too Greek, since he lost his accent. He calls in his cronies, grabs Sam and says if everyone will cooperate, they’ll get through this. It would be really great if we knew what it was we’re supposed to be getting through.

Alexis goes down Memory Lane about how she thought Julian loved her. She says the only thing she feels in the house now, is betrayal, and wonders how she could love a man like him.

Theo asks for everyone’s cell phones. I note how good looking he and his crew are. Nicholas asks who he is and Theo says the usual “all in good time.” It’s a standard response from Being a Villain for Dummies. He has someone take Jason upstairs and follows with Sam, telling the guards to shoot anyone who moves except Nicholas. Upstairs, Theo tells Jason he wants full cooperation or Sam gets shot. Jason asks what’s up, but Theo says he and Sam were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He leaves one of his men there to guard them.

Julian tries to smooth things over with Lucas. Lucas says he never asked Julian to be in his life and everything he’s ever done isn’t out of love, but to protect himself. He says he didn’t think Julian was a mobster, a liar and a killer, but he was wrong. He says Julian used his and Brad’s wedding as a distraction while the cops searched the house. He asks if Julian would have tried to kill him too, if he’d known the truth and tried to turn him in. He says Julian is going to rot in prison alone and he’s not going to cry about it. Olivia walks in behind him, saying she won’t either.

Alexis warns her daughters that if anything seems wrong in a relationship, don’t try to fix it because it’s going to stay wrong. She tells them to run if they get even a whiff of deception. Molly goes to the kitchen and Alexis asks Kristina about Parker. Kristina says she hasn’t talked to her, but she’s on the summer speaking circuit.

Hayden asks Naomi to put them in touch with her source. She says she can’t do that.

Finn asks Sonny if he has connections in the realm of pharmaceuticals, especially the ones not distributed in the US. Sonny says he doesn’t, but Finn says it’s been rumored he occasionally does business outside the law. Sonny says a drug conviction is a federal case, and he’d rather not risk it. Finn explains his situation and asks if Sonny can do anything to help.

Dante encourages Lulu to try and sneak out while he creates a distraction. She says not to risk it. Theo comes back down. Nicholas asks what the blip is going on.

Naomi says she doesn’t know any garden variety drug dealers. Tracy says it’s not a garden variety drug. She and Hayden explain about Finn and how Hayden’s father was involved with stealing the funds from his research organization. Naomi asks to talk to Hayden alone. Tracy steps away and Naomi asks what it’s worth to Hayden.

Laura thinks Theo is the one who sent her the picture of the Ice Princess. Nicholas says he has no idea who Theo is, but nobody believes him. Laura wonders if he’s finding a way to stay there and not be prosecuted. Theo asks if he should answer for Nicholas.

Jason tells Sam he thinks he’s been at Cassadine Island before. Sam says of course he has, but he tells her about Helena saying he’d never remember about what happened Jake there. He says he recalls the day Helena died and how easy it was to break in, like he’d done it before. He says he has no conscious memory of being there with Helena, but thinks he was. Sam wonders if Theo had been working for her, and that’s why he wanted Jason out of the way. Jason says Theo is clearly going after Nicholas.

Olivia tells Julian that he’ll never see Leo again. She says he tried to kill a pregnant Alexis and Julian says Alexis was lying about the pregnancy. Like that makes it okay to try and kill her.

Molly comes in with a glass of red wine for Alexis. Kristina goes to get mac and cheese to go with it. Really? Molly tries to ask about Julian, but Alexis doesn’t want to talk about it. Kristina comes back out with the pregnancy test and asks whose it is.

Nicholas says he has no idea what’s going on. Theo says only he can explain who he is and what he’s after.

Kristina asks if the test is Molly’s, since she and TJ recently decided to move in together, but Molly says no. Molly suggests it’s Kristina’s, but Kristina says she was just with Aaron five minutes ago, so it’s not hers. Alexis admits it belongs to her.

Olivia says Julian would sacrifice anything or anyone to save himself. She says Leo isn’t even going to know Julian’s name.

Hayden is appalled that Naomi wants money to save a man’s life. Naomi thinks there’s more to it than that and says Hayden must feel guilty about her father. Hayden says she’s spent her whole life only caring about herself until she met Finn. Naomi agrees to help.

Finn explains about his disease to Sonny and how the money to find a cure was invested with Hayden’s father and they went bankrupt after he embezzled all of it. He says he knows enough about the disease to manage it now. He talks to Sonny about the FDA, and explains the drug has a narrow scope and is addictive.

Tracy is shocked that Hayden’s drug dealer is her mother. Naomi says her dealer seems confident that he can get what Finn needs, but tells them that her contact said the drug isn’t a known treatment for anything and is highly addictive. She asks if they’re sure Finn is sick, and thinks he must be a junkie just because the drug has a street name.

Finn tells Sonny he’s addicted to being alive. He says he’s functional on it and when he’s functional, he can do his research. When he finds a cure, he’ll stop using it. He asks if Sonny can help him. Sonny says it’s possible he might know someone who knows someone.

Julian says Leo will hate Olivia for it, and what is she going to do when Leo wants to look for him? Julian brings up Sonny. Olivia says she didn’t like what Sonny chose to do for a living, but he’s a good man who would lay down his life for his family. She tells Julian that he’ll rot in prison and he’s dead to her. Lucas says to him too, and he’ll also be dead to Sam when she finds out. Olivia tells Julian no one cares if he lives or dies.

Molly asks what Alexis is going to do if she’s pregnant with Julian’s baby, and encourages her to take the test.

Sam and Jason decide Theo and Nicholas aren’t working together. Ava asks Theo if he’s on Helena’s payroll, but he says Helena means nothing to him. They see the Cassadine crest that Theo has tattooed on his arm and Nicholas says he knows who Theo is.

Alexis says she’d rather be alone to take the test as she’ll need to process things. Kristina suggests she and Molly go to the movies. Alexis says she’ll be fine, but she and Molly are going to discuss her moving in with TJ at a later time. The girls leave.

Julian says that man isn’t him. Puh-leez. Olivia says he has no character, or ability to love and sacrifice. She and Lucas leave Julian alone. Julian says he’ll find a way out of this.

Alexis looks at the test. Not sure if she’s relieved or freaked.

Sonny says he’ll help Finn because Finn helped Carly. Finn says he doesn’t have time to weigh options and Sonny says he has no choice.

Hayden talks about Finn nearly dying in jail. Naomi insists that Finn needed a fix and says he must be lying. She says that Hayden’s been had. (Say that 3 times real fast.)

Jason tells Sam they’ll wait for the guard to get tired and the guys downstairs to forget about them. Sam suggests she take the guard out. Jason says they should rest and conserve their energy, and he’ll keep watch while she sleeps. He tells her they’ve been in worse spots. She says no matter how it turns out, she’s glad they’re together.

Nicholas says Theo is his grandfather’s bastard son. Theo says he’s Valentine (pronounced val-en-teen) Cassadine, Nicholas’s bastard uncle.

Tomorrow, Nicholas threatens Theo/Valentine, Nina calls off the investigation, and Alexis tells Diane she wants to take Julian down.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Meanwhile, back at Kelly’s beach party…

The sun is starting to set and it’s getting cold, so everyone goes inside the house. Kelly’s place is bright and modern in design, not usually my taste, but I like this one. It’s got a fresh look. Vicki hesitantly gives Shannon a hug and says they have to talk. In her interview, Shannon says she didn’t want to hug and Vicki says it was like hugging a corpse. She and Shannon sit down and Vicki says she has no excuses for Brooks, but she’s sorry and wants to put it behind them. Shannon says Vicki is too astute not to have known that Brooks was lying. Vicki insists that she was lied to as well, but Shannon isn’t having it. Vicki asks what the benefit would have been in her lying. Um…more screen time? Shannon gets snippy with Vicki. I’ll never know for sure whether Vicki was in on the lie, but IMO, she was blinded by her love for Brooks and didn’t want to know. I also think she feared being alone. I don’t get what was so great about Brooks, but we’re all different, and maybe that fear outweighed the bad stuff about him. Her mother also died last season, which was a tremendous blow which I understand completely.

It’s obvious to the others what’s going on. At the bar, Kelly says she doesn’t want to get in the middle, but she feels badly for Vicki. Vicki accuses Shannon of not being able to move past it. Shannon says Vicki called her disgusting and vile, and Vicki says that’s how Shannon was being at the time. Shannon wonders if it’s an apology or an attack. She tells Vicki that while she forgives her, she doesn’t know if they can have their friendship back. With nothing left to say, Vicki thanks her and moves along.

Meghan says she has to give herself a fertility shot and in her interview, Heather says she’d rather watch Meghan shoot herself with a needle than watch the needling going on between Shannon and Vicki. Me too, but only if Meghan shoots herself in the eye.

Kelly shows the ladies her closet. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that it’s huge and amazing, like every Housewife closet. Except maybe Kim Richards. Meghan injects herself and everyone applauds. Vicki tells Kelly she’s leaving because trying to be friends with everyone again is too much. Meghan says they were never friends, which is so lovely of her. Vicki tells Kelly she can’t do the girls thing anymore. Kelly feels protective of her, knowing what it’s like to be ganged up on. Tamra asks Shannon if Vicki apologized, and Shannon says yes and no.

Meghan and Jimmy have to pick up his frozen sperm. TMI already. Jimmy is going to Florida, but Meghan’s mom is coming up for the presentation…I mean, implantation. The doctor pulls a couple of frozen tubes out of some contraption and they pack them up in a cooler. Okay, it’s really called a cryo tank, but same thing.

Heather confers with her assistant. Terry is working on Mother’s Day and she wonders if he’s ever going to say no to work and yes to family time. Heather’s builder drops by and he’s figuring May for a move date. They discuss the logistics of an onyx bar and theatre room.

Jimmy and Meghan go over the procedure for implantation. Really Meghan goes over it and Jimmy doesn’t even act interested. She wants to cry and he tells her everything will be all right and to let him know when the kid is in college. I made up that last part.

Briana is having difficulty breathing and Vicki takes her to the hospital. She’s telling Vicki she’s not going to make it and passing out. I guess calling 911 isn’t an option? Finally, Vicki pulls into a gas station and calls. Oddly enough, Tamra’s son Ryan’s ex-fiance, Sarah (did you get all that?), is at the gas station at the same time and is able to help. She’s going to watch the boys until the sitter gets there, so Vicki can go to the hospital. Tamra goes to Vicki’s and tells Sarah about getting the call from Vicki with Briana gasping for air in the background. When Tamra called Sarah, she just happened to be at the same gas station. Tamra thanks Jesus, Who I wish would get involved in some other areas of Tamra’s life.

Sarah and Tamra discuss Ryan, agreeing that Sarah should vent to someone else about him, even though she and Tamra are friends. In her interview, Tamra says she wishes Sarah and Ryan could figure it out, but sometimes two people aren’t meant to be together. Sarah says their daughter loves both of them, but the ball is in Ryan’s court. I have no clue what happened between them or what that means.

Kelly is getting ready to go to Meghan’s for some girl time. Her brother jokingly asks her which one of her friends she’s going to hook him up with, and she tells him Vicki. Meghan shows Kelly the progress on the kitchen, which is pretty much none. Kelly brings up Shannon, and Meghan suggests she stay away from the whole thing. Kelly says if no one wants her to interject, she doesn’t need to be hearing the sniping from all of them. Meghan says Shannon is very hurt and that Kelly has only known Vicki for two weeks. In her interview, Kelly says that Meghan thinks the world revolves around her and I totally agree. She adds that she’s not a child and can make her own decisions.

Vicki is juggling watching the boys and trying to get ready for work. Owen and Troy are quite a handful. Vicki grows nostalgic for the days of sticking a kid in a playpen. Tamra calls and Vicki tells her that Briana is getting a CT scan on her stomach. She gets a text from Briana saying she has a 104 temperature and they’re trying to find the source of the infection. To put the cherry on Vicki’s cake, the hot water tank is leaking. It doesn’t rain, it pours.

Shannon is going to have a 70s party and confers with the planners. We flash back on her previous party disasters. They’re going with a peace-love-far-out theme followed by disco.

Heather asks which of her kids are going to miss the house and there are no takers. She tries to get them interested in some pictures of the new place. In her interview, Heather says the job she loves most is being a mom, like every other famous person says.

Vicki calls Briana’s husband (another Ryan), who can’t get out of Oklahoma due to his military service. Briana has been discharged from the hospital and Vicki gives him an update on her condition.

Shannon meets Tamra for lunch. Tamra tells her about what happened with Briana. Tamra had asked Vicki if not having Ryan around is affecting Briana’s emotional state, and Vicki said no doubt. Shannon wonders why Briana moved away and suggests Vicki is being manipulative by buying Briana a house and luring her there. She and Tamra discuss the strings that must be attached, and I wish Jesus would come down on a cloud and thump the both of them on the head, since they’re just making it up as they go along, never once thinking Vicki might be concerned about Briana’s health or that Briana and Ryan might have wanted to move.

Briana’s lymph nodes were so enlarged, they were affecting her breathing process. She says they’re still trying to find where this is coming from, but for now, she’s okay. Vicki feels like a failure because Briana’s health hasn’t improved and starts questioning her decision to bring Briana back to the OC.

Tamra and Shannon go down Memory Lane about another time they visited the same restaurant with the girls. Shannon remembers that Vicki hadn’t gone to Meghan’s party (to which Shannon hadn’t been invited), so she could be there with her. She struggles with whether or not she should invite Vicki to her 70s party. She reads a text to Tamra that she’s written to Vicki. She begins by pointing out that she’s not interested in a friendship anymore. Tamra thinks she’s being passive aggressive, going in with a jab, turning the knife and pulling it out slowly. She tells Shannon if she’s going to forgive, she doesn’t have to be Vicki’s best friend, but needs to soften it up a little. Shannon’s second text is marginally better, but you can tell that she’s in a fighting mood.

Next time, Jimmy seems uninterested in the baby-making process, the 70s party happens, and Kelly says no wonder David cheated on Shannon. Whoa.

July 17, 2016 – West Coast Shahs & East Coast Wives


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Shahs of Sunset

Reza and his mother go out to lunch. She’s very happy that Reza has Adam to share his life with. Reza points out that most traditional Persian parents wouldn’t feel that way. He tells her that Adam loves their culture, which pleases the both of them. Reza asks if she’s going to Oklahoma to meet Adam’s family, but she says no. She has bad memories about going their with his father. In his interview, Reza says that his father would have gotten a “D” in parenting, while she got an “A.” They laugh about something, but I don’t hear it because the dogs started barking.

Mike meets with his business partner, Edd. Edd who stutters when he spells his name. In his interview, Mike says he’s been spending a lot of money on his shoe line and ignored the old adage of not putting all your eggs in one basket. The shoes are being manufactured in Mexico and a big launch event has been planned at Kitson. Mike is concerned about the shoes being ready on time.

MJ and Tommy go to some batting cages. MJ says they’ve been nesting, so it was time to get out and do something. MJ will not have to worry about the MLB knocking on her door any time soon. Tommy talks about bringing their future child there. MJ is less than enthusiastic, but in her interview tells us she isn’t sure if she’s ready, even though the doctor says now is the time. She definitely wants marriage first. What a concept.

Adam and Reza are in Palm Springs with Asa along for the ride. Reza says their dog’s anal glands need to be expressed and I have all kinds of sympathy for him, as well as thinking better him than me, being the owner of tiny dogs myself.

Reza and Adam are looking for a property to rent out. Asa goes with them to look at a house. We’re in agreement that it’s all kinds of hideous, with random patterns of tile absolutely everywhere. Reza assumes whoever remodeled was legally blind.

GG, who is wearing a vest that I totally covet, meets Shervin for lunch. Shervin asks GG what the blip happened in Belize at the ruins. GG feels that Reza has no business in her medical business, considering that he’s never even been to a doctor’s appointment with her. Sherwin wonders how GG and Reza got to the place they’re at. GG says she couldn’t just sit back while Reza was making fun of her, and asks Shervin why he’s justifying what Reza did. He suggests that rather than jumping the gun, she hear others out. In her interview, GG says she tried to be the bigger person a few times, but it backfired.

Asa is hauling some chairs up a mountain for a photo session with Reza and Adam for her couples project. They’re the same chairs that Adam and Reza got married in. We also learn that Asa is still dating Jermaine Jackson and will be including a picture of the two of them. She tells Reza and Adam to just be in the moment.

For whatever insane reason, Analise wants to see Shervin for a second date. Since she lives in Australia, they’ve mostly video chatted and texted. I have no clue why this gorgeous woman, who seems like she actually has a brain, wants to get involved with this dweeb, who lives halfway across the globe, no less. Asa has taken pictures of them as well, and Shervin says Analise has to come and see them because he doesn’t know how to use the internet.

Asa visits Mike. Mike shows her the shoe samples. They’re okay – well, maybe not that shocking pink pair – but don’t look like anything new. Mike says he went to temple for the first time in a long time, and assessed his life. Asa says he’s experiencing amazing growth and needs to present that to Jessica and woo her back. She’s been rebuffing all of his attempts at communication, so Mike and Asa decide to work on an email together. Asa gives him a simple paragraph, asking to meet with Jessica. We flash back to better days. Mike says he wishes Jessica would give him the chance to show her who he’s become.

Reza and MJ go for ice cream. They discuss Reza and Adam’s relationship. Reza says he has a hard time with the word “husband.” MJ tells him he’s still hung up on traditional roles. Reza tells MJ about his cousin seeing Jessica out on the town dressed in hoochie-mama clothes. They try calling her and the number is no longer working. Reza says she’s gone for real and his heart is breaking for Mike. He tells MJ that Mike needs to start figuring out life post Jessica.

There’s a problem with the shoes at customs and are they’re stuck in Mexico. Mike has to actually drive down to handle things himself. He says whatever could go wrong, is, and he’s just found out that Jessica disconnected her phone. Their guy calls and says he has all the paperwork, but customs is closed on Saturday.

Mike calls the Kitson rep and explains about the customs problem, saying that he and Edd are going to San Diego and will get the shoes there in time for the event. Dude isn’t pleased, but says keep him updated.

Finally, the shoes make it across the border. Now they just have to get them back in time for the launch party.

It’s two hours to the launch and they’re still 80 miles away from LA. Mike’s people had taken the shoes out of the boxes, flattened the boxes, and put everything in their luggage. Smart. Now comes the part where everything got mixed up and they have to put it all back together.

The launch party starts. Asa looks amazing in a silky, off-white jumpsuit that drapes her beautifully. It’s 6:10; the party is 6 to 8, but Mike and the shoes are still in traffic. Mike does some woolgathering, thinking about how Jessica would have been his support in this situation if they were still together. Asa talks to Mike’s parents, telling them how great the samples were. MJ shows up, making a big deal out of Asa’s jumpsuit, so it’s not just me.

Asa texts Mike, asking where he is. Edd says to tell her they’ll be there soon. Mike hasn’t been texting anyone back because he can only think of rude responses. The party is pretty crowded at this point, but as long as there’s liquor, I see no reason why it still can’t be a success. Reza avoids GG.

Still 25 miles away. Even I feel agitated. Mike is afraid that by the time they get there, the venue is going to be closed. Um…it might be a good idea to text someone back.

At last, Mike arrives. He’s touched at how his family and friends are there to be supportive. He gives a little speech about getting the shoes there and thanks everybody. Lots of sales happen, but Asa’s father passes on the pink pair. Reza asks how Mike is feeling with Jessica out of the picture and Mike says he’s just going to have to go on, as Celine Dion plays softly in the background (not really). Asa says something philosophical about ends and beginnings. Mike gets all zen.

A few months later, Kitson went out of business.

Next time, Reza finds out he and Adam aren’t technically married, Tommy goes ring shopping, and Mike gets into it with Vida. I can’t wait to see that.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

We go back to Teresa’s release date and her lawyer giving a press conference. Jacqueline gets all choked up and says she never stopped caring. Bleh. I don’t like Jacqueline. We flash back to her making fun of Teresa’s message and I like her even less. Jacqueline wonders if Teresa is sincere. She and Dolores make fun of Teresa having a new car even though they don’t know any details about it.

Melissa is excited about Teresa coming for Christmas Eve. As they left things, they were at peace, but not really settled. She’s trying not to judge Teresa for not putting her on the visitor list

Teresa and her daughters are having their eyebrows waxed at home as the paparazzi camp outside. Teresa calls brother Joe regarding the logistics in getting her to his house. We flash back to the Giudice family Christmas cards. This year, a magazine is footing the bill. Teresa has decided to take advantage of the amount the tabloids are willing to pay for her photo and I don’t blame her. She looks fabulous and is wearing a red, distressed cardigan that would be perfect for me. Joe picks her up for the party.

We flash back to the sprinkle cookie incident. In her interview, Melissa makes fun of the whole thing. She says Teresa walked in like she’d only taken a trip to the mall, but she could see how much she’d been through in her eyes. Teresa is thrilled to see her parents, and happy that her father is still with them, as he’s had some health issues. Husband Joe says the prayer before dinner. Joe gets Christmas mixed up with Easter and Melissa nearly chokes on her wine. Teresa suggests he go to church more. I’d add, and pay attention.

Melissa asks Teresa about how the bracelet thing works. They go into the kitchen and Teresa tells Melissa she’d like to get back to the way they used to be early on. Melissa says she would too. Teresa says her brother would be happy about it, but Melissa says she doesn’t want to be friends just for him. She says sometimes she’s felt like it was just on the surface. Teresa says sometimes she doesn’t feel like it’s genuine either. Melissa says she feels like Teresa is a sister to her and Teresa tells her to show it then. It’s a tense moment and in his interview, Joe says the two of them talking makes him nervouc.

Teresa brings up the christening. Melissa doesn’t want to go back to the past, but Teresa says that’s where snowballed and Melissa should have stuck with her no matter what. We flash back to the first reunion with Melissa, where Teresa was ganged up on. Teresa says Melissa should have shut down what the others were saying. We flash back to more arguments. They both admit to wrongs and say from here on out, they’ll have each other’s backs. They shake hands and hug it out.

Dolores is having a therapy session. She talks about her husband cheating on her when she was pregnant and their subsequent divorce because he wouldn’t give up his mistress. Nice. She got engaged again, but got another winner, and moved back to her old house. The therapist says she has to figure out what’s important to her and stop people pleasing. (Two hundred bucks, please!) Dolores says because of the way she grew up, she’s not used to talking about her feelings.

Gia wants to go out New Year’s Eve. Teresa asks her brother if he can imagine what their father would have said to that. She says they spent their New Year’s Eves with their parents until they were married. She thinks Gia deserves the night out though. Husband Joe comes in and gets snippy with Gia.

Jacqueline, buzzed on espresso, talks nonsense with her daughter. Ashlee wants to move away, but Jacqueline wants her to stay. Ashlee points out that she’s twenty-five and her boyfriend is over thirty. Ashlee says she and her mother have been getting along great, but she and Pete want their own hangout. Yeah, it’s called not living with your parents any more.

Dolores picks Teresa up and they go for a pedicure. Dolores asks Teresa about how she was treated in prison, and if she felt picked on, but Teresa says she was only watched a little more closely. Dolores’s brother texts her a happy birthday and Teresa says they need to do something to celebrate. Dolores isn’t into a big birthday deal, but says a reunion dinner would be fun. She makes up a guest list and Teresa is hesitant about Jacqueline, but says it’s up to Dolores.

Melissa wants to be a successful businesswoman as well as a wife and mother, and she’s overseeing the construction of her upcoming boutique. Husband Joe and the kids stop by. Joe claims he’ll be finished in two weeks, but Melissa wants to open in two weeks. Joe squawks about her working and him having a part-time wife. She says as soon as everything is up and running, she’ll be able to pitch in more. He whines about being a single parent and Melissa’s employees give the stink eye.

Everyone is getting ready for Teresa’s New Year’s Eve party. Teresa says she’s been tired since she got home and she only wants family and close friends there. Contrary to her usual way of doing things, she’s also having it catered.

Jacqueline asks Chris if her leggings are giving her camel toe. Do you not have a mirror? Because she wants it both ways, Jacqueline is hurt that she wasn’t invited to Teresa’s party. Chris says somebody has to make a move. Kathy and her husband come over, along with Rosie, since they weren’t invited to Teresa’s either. Rosie is a little surprised, since she’s pretty good friends with Joe. She says since Teresa came home, Joe hasn’t been communicating with her.

It’s time for Gia to leave. She’s running late and Teresa wants to take pictures, but Gia doesn’t want to take any more time. Joe #1 is now insisting she be home before midnight. He says if she’s not home by twelve, there’s going to be a problem. In her interview, Dolores says every Italian has to go through her father’s stress and that she had to be home by eleven on her wedding night. Ha-ha!

Dolores is headed to Jacqueline’s and Teresa decides to call to wish Jacqueline a happy new year. Jacqueline tells her welcome home. Teresa says she looks forward to new beginnings. The Wakhilis yell “happy new year” in the background, catching Teresa off-guard. After they hang up, Jacqueline says it was weird. She says that she didn’t get a sense of a connection and doesn’t know how to respond. Rosie says it’s great that Teresa is reaching out, but she doesn’t get what Teresa has against her. Rosie says her new year’s resolution is to be a bigger bitch since every time she’s nice, it doesn’t pay.

Teresa tells Melissa about calling Jacqueline. She says Jacqueline seemed a little cold, but Melissa says she was probably startled.

When Dolores arrives, Jacqueline grills her about the phone call. In her interview, Dolores says the two of them are from totally different worlds and don’t understand one another. Teresa grew up not talking about feelings and Jacqueline puts her heart on her sleeve. IMO, Jacqueline talks a good game about being tough, but she certainly doesn’t act that way whenever there’s a problem.

Time to count down to the new year! Happy 2016! I love how those cheesy hats and noisemakers never change. Gia comes home at 12:15 and all is well. She tells daddy Joe that she loves him. Teresa says it’s going to be another tough year, but they’ll get through it.

Next time, a birthday, Melissa wears red shoes, and Jacqueline and Teresa meet.