What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Kristina suggests that she and Parker let tomorrow be tomorrow. That song from Annie pops into my head. You’re welcome. Kristina kisses Parker and Sonny sees. He almost trips coming up the stairs, which makes me laugh.
Elizabeth fills in Finn about a patient who was recently in South Africa. He tells her he’s going out of town for a few days.
Naomi and Hayden have gotten subpoenas and have to go to NYC to testify. Hayden wonders what else they could possibly have to testify about. She also wonders why Naomi had a panic attack and asks what was happening prior to it at the MetroCourt. Elizabeth comes in and Hayden leaves. Naomi asks why they don’t get along. Franco enters the room and asks Elizabeth if he was dreaming or did she really agree to go on a date with him.
We repeat the Friday scene where Valentin (no “e” on the end) shoots Doc. In the melee that follows, Dante gets ahold of Valentin and puts him in a headlock. Lulu freaks over the skeleton in the tunnel. She sees a bracelet on its wrist and thinks it must be Luke.
Hayden asks Finn if he wants to go to lunch. He says he’s got somewhere to be and she asks if he’s found a new connection for his drug.
Parker tells Kristina she has to focus and get ready for her speech. Kristina asks if she can come along. Parker tells her that the attendance list was closed a while ago, but it’s the same thing she covered in class. Kristina apologizes again for how things started with them. Parker accepts the apology, but says it makes it hard for them to move forward.
Doc regains consciousness. Laura tells him to stay still. Dante says if everyone doesn’t drop their guns, he’ll break Valentin’s neck. Another thug has a gun drawn on Dante and Ava says it’s not worth it.
Lulu examines an earring and a bracelet just like her father’s. Hmm… Maybe Luke was hoping someone would find it and think he’s dead.
Ava tells Dante he can’t win the fight and to let Valentin go. She says she just watched Nicholas die and doesn’t want to see him die too. Dante releases Valentin, who acts like he was going to let everyone go and Dante just blew it. Yeah, right.
Hayden tells Finn she wants to help him and apologizes for implying he was a junkie. He thanks her for what she did for him and tells her he’ll return the favor some time, but for now, stop stalking him. She tells him not to flatter himself and that she’s there to see her mother.
Elizabeth tells Franco this isn’t the place for a dating conversation. He says they’ll always have toast. <snort> He starts talking about sending her kids to summer camp again, but Elizabeth says she’d never take anything from Heather. In the background, Naomi starts to have another attack. Elizabeth accepts the date and Franco tells Naomi that she’s his good luck charm. He leaves and Elizabeth sees that Naomi’s heart rate is climbing.
Kristina says Parker wasn’t hesitating last night, so what changed? She asks if they can just be in the moment and Parker says okay, but they need to be responsible. Kristina wants Parker to admit that she likes Kristina as much as Kristina likes her. Parker says she has to go. They kiss good-by. Kristina says she’ll stay there until Parker gets back. They make a cute couple, but it almost seems like their emotional roles are reversed all of a sudden.
Parker leaves. Sonny knocks on the door. Surprise!
Hayden tells Finn about Naomi’s panic attack and the subpoenas. He asks if she’ll be in the slammer by the time he gets back. She asks why he cares. He says he wanted to create some distance, but prison is a little extreme. He tells her he may have found a new source for his drugs and she asks if Sonny has something to do with it. Finn draws the line at that question and tells her to back off. Hayden calls him a colossal jerk.
Elizabeth apologizes to Naomi for Franco barging in and asks if he said something to upset her.
Franco visits Heather bearing a bouquet. She asks if he wants more money, but he says he wants to return what she gave him. He says he wanted to give it to Elizabeth and she refused, but she did say she’d go on a date with him.
Lulu wonders if it’s a set up, but thinks that would be too elaborate a plan. She hears a noise and hides.
Laura tells Doc to stay with her. Ava calls Valentin a bastard, but he says they’ve already established that. He says he was going to let them go, but now they’ve complicated everything with Doc jumping in front of his warning shot. Dante suggests Valentin keep him as a hostage and let everyone else go.
Kristina asks Sonny what he’s doing at the hotel. Sonny tells her he’s there to pick up Morgan’s meds. He asks if she’s staying there and she says no, it’s just a friend who’s in town for the conference and they had breakfast. She tries to blow Sonny off, but he says they need to talk. He tells her he saw her kiss a woman.
It was driving me crazy, so I looked up who’s playing Valentin. It’s James Patrick Stuart who used to be Will Cortlandt on All My Children. I thought I recognized the voice, but he looks very different with a mustache. I have to say he’s grown into a fine looking man.
Franco says Heather had a negative reaction to him dating both Carly and Nina, and he wants to make sure there’s no repeat performance. Heather says even if she objected to Elizabeth, what could she do from prison? He makes her promise she won’t do anything to interfere and she agrees. He wants to know what’s different about Elizabeth.
Naomi tells Elizabeth about the subpoenas. Elizabeth says Naomi’s anxiety increased when Franco was in the room. She says she recognized him from her art collecting friends. She says there were rumors that he was a serial killer, but Elizabeth says he’s not the same person anymore, and he’s been amazing to her and her son. Naomi asks if she’s sure he’s changed and Elizabeth says she is. She feels that if someone acknowledges their faults and sincerely tries to do better, they deserve a second chance. Naomi says too bad more people don’t feel that way. She adds that eyebrows might be raised if Elizabeth starts dating a relative.
Finn tells Hayden about all his research being confiscated and wonders if it’s been destroyed. He says the drugs are a temporary solution and what he needs is a cure. She tells him not to give up, but he says he’s just being realistic. He says he doesn’t want her to watch him die. He doesn’t want to be the reason for more sorrow in her life.
Dante says if Doc recovers, no one has to know about it. Valentin says you can’t hold someone hostage indefinitely, it’s a lot of overtime for his thugs and someone is bound to start asking where Dante is. He says if everyone is dead, there’s no more problem.
One of the thugs comes past Lulu in the tunnel and she whacks him in the head, knocking him out.
Sonny wants to know who Parker is. He says she seems a lot older than Kristina. He asks if she’s a student, and Kristina says no. Kristina tells him that the woman is Parker. He’s astounded that it’s the same Parker that reported her for her advances. Sonny has a look on his face that’s definitely a father in I-can’t-believe-my-kid-just-did-this mode.
He asks why Kristina didn’t tell him and she says she was afraid. He asks what she thinks would happen, and she says she doesn’t know. She says he always wants to fix things and some things can’t be fixed or explained. She says he seemed to like Aaron and he says she did too. She says she does, but she also likes Parker. O.M.G. Kristina tells Sonny she just had the best night of her life with Parker, but she still doesn’t know if she’s gay. Why is she giving her father TMI? Seriously, telling him she might be gay is fine, but would you really tell your dad about the best night of your life?
Heather says Elizabeth is Jeff Webber’s daughter and she loved Jeff. She says Jeff is the reason she’s a woman of means, which doesn’t get explained further. Franco tries to return the money again, but she says it’s useless to her in there. She suggests he buy art supplies and bring her a painting next time.
Elizabeth says she doesn’t understand. Naomi says she overheard her say Franco’s mother is Heather Webber, but Elizabeth says they’re not related, even though Heather was once married to her father. She tells Naomi that Heather is locked up now. She leaves to get Naomi’s release paperwork started.
Hayden says for the first time in her life she wants to help someone even though there’s nothing in it for her. She says if Finn doesn’t like her fine, but don’t tell her to leave just because he’s afraid she’ll fall apart if he dies.
Lulu wonders whether to stick with the plan and try to get help, or take the gun and shoot Valentin. She tells herself that Luke would have said, when in doubt, improvise.
Laura talks to Doc. She says she’s going to keep him alive, but he has to do his part and stay with her.
Dante tells Valentin if he wants to live, he needs to let them go and run. Ava says Valentin will be spending the rest of his life in a cell if he doesn’t disappear. Valentin says she makes a good point, but the last time he listened to her, he almost lost his eye, which makes it difficult for him to want to believe her.
Finn says he thought he was doing Hayden a favor. She tells him to go make his mysterious connection.
Heather has another visitor. It’s Naomi, who is apparently Heather’s money source. I’m trying to make some connection between her and Jeff, but it makes my head hurt. Naomi says that she knows Elizabeth is seeing Heather’s son and tells her not to breathe one word about Elizabeth to Franco, or her life will be more miserable than it already is. Again, I’m thinking that Elizabeth and Hayden are related somehow.
Franco asks Elizabeth if it’s good or bad that his mother approves of them dating. Hayden comes in and wonders where Naomi is. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know, but she escorted her out, and she was surprised to find they have a lot in common.
Kristina asks Sonny if he can accept having a gay daughter and if he can accept her.
Valentin says all he wanted was the Cassadine estate. He says it belonged to him anyway, since he’s older and Nicholas has a questionable background. He says he wants to believe he can trust them, but it’s not likely they’ll keep their mouths shut. He asks who would like to die first. Lulu suddenly pops in with the gun and says she votes for him.
Tomorrow, Carly asks Nina why she wants to help, Parker talks to Alexis, Lulu threatens Valentin, and Sam keels over.
The Real Housewives of the OC
Shannon’s 70s party looks like one of my junior high school dances, both in wardrobe and attendance. We start off in the middle of a fight, but then go back to 48 hours earlier when everyone is getting their costumes together. Shannon and David are at a costume store and Shannon picks out a Farrah wig (Fawcett, not Abraham) and David gets some tight blonde curls. A bizarre conversation happens where the girls are asking David how many times he’s…never mind. My TV viewing today has been filled with things I would never talk to my father about.
Tamra goes shopping with Kelly at a vintage store. Tamra asks how Kelly is feeling about Shannon, since they didn’t exactly start off great. Kelly thinks Shannon is a Debbie Downer and says she’s not the only one who got that first impression. We flash back to Heather kicking Shannon out of her house a couple of seasons back. Tamra tells Kelly about the falling out she had with Shannon, and how it was really her fault and they mended fences. Kelly thinks if Shannon forgave Tamra, she should forgive Vicki as well. Tamra says she has, but doesn’t know if she wants to continue the friendship.
Heather’s nanny is cooking dinner. Heather tells us that she doesn’t cook, but loves to surround herself with food oriented things, like cooking shows and equipment. I totally understand this.
Meghan is going to speak about colon cancer in Washington DC and Heather is going with her. In her interview, Meghan talks about Jimmy’s ex-wife passing away from it. She got involved with a non-profit that raises funds and awareness. She has nothing written out yet, and Heather tells her she might want to move on that.
Terry arrives home. Heather is annoyed that he chose to work on Mother’s Day. He suggests she come with him to New York, but she doesn’t want to leave the kids, so he says he’ll see if the date can be changed.
Briana is home and feeling better. Her kids seem like a freakin’ handful and a half. No wonder she’s sick. Vicki hasn’t responded to Shannon’s invite, but now that Briana is on the mend, she thinks she might go to the party.
Kelly takes her daughter, Jolie, for a mani-pedi. Jolie is nine and Kelly’s mini-me. Kelly says she’s a strict, but fun mom. She asks Jolie about the upcoming Justin Bieber concert, saying she has Bieber fever, and her daughter informs Kelly that she’s too old to be a fan. As Jolie asks for the latest electronics, Kelly informs us that OC children are the most spoiled in the world.
Meghan’s ultrasound and blood work are coming up tomorrow. She asks Jimmy if he’ll be able to Facetime with her, since he’s off to do whatever he does wherever he does it. Meghan says he’s not used to a highly emotional woman going through IVF. She tells him that by the time he gets back, the embryo will have been transferred to her uterus. She’s disappointed that he’s not more enthusiastic, but I don’t think Jimmy is enthusiastic about much. Meghan says she feels isolated.
It’s party time! David is surprised that Shannon invited Vicki and is more angered than Shannon about the whole Brooks/cancer debacle. Vicki stops by Kelly’s place first, wearing the most amazing pink and gold paisley mini dress. We see a high school picture of Vicki in the 70s. She really hasn’t changed all that much. Well, the braces are gone. And she’s blonde. They have tequila shots. Why does everyone like tequila so much? I think it tastes foul and leads to the worst hangover of any liquor.
The venue looks really cool, with a lot of details like lava lamps and pet rocks. The guests are greeted with Jell-O shots. Ha-ha! Eddie has the biggest wig ever – a gigantic blonde Afro. Vicki is hoping they can all hug it out and move on. In her interview, Shannon says she didn’t want to be the one excluding Vicki. That’s probably wise, since Vicki rescued Shannon from her own exclusion once.
Kelly is introduced to a friend of Shannon’s named Jaci (pronounced like Jackie). Jaci says they’ve met before and brings up seeing Kelly with someone else when Kelly and her husband were separated. She does this in front of Kelly’s husband, which Kelly says is kind of a bitch move. Um, yeah. Heather says she’s chosen to move on with Vicki, and if Vicki did lie, karma and God will catch up with her. Meghan starts to feel uncomfortable and ill because of her preparation for tomorrow’s procedure.
Here’s where it starts looking like the school dance. Lots of people on the sidelines and a few straggling dancers out on the floor. Heather is on roller skates and takes a dive. Tamra is annoyed, since she’s preparing for a fitness competition and can’t really drink. Meghan asks where Tamra stands with Vicki now and Tamra says she’s forgiven her and they’re moving on. Meghan says she wasn’t really friends with Vicki to begin with, and doesn’t trust her. In her interview, Tamra wonders why Meghan is sticking her nose into her business with Vicki.
Kelly jokes that David looks like a pedophile. Shannon doesn’t find it funny, but Meghan is actually right. Terry and Heather have a private conversation. Terry promises to be home more after this season of Botched. Heather says she’s heard this before. She says at some point, he’s going to have to realize he can’t always say yes. She tells him that he says yes to everyone except his family. In his interview, Terry says he loves Heather and the kids, but she’s right.
Champagne and liquor flow. Tamra takes note of Vicki and Kelly being drinking buddies. I have the feeling this rubs Tamra the wrong way. Jaci sits with Tamra and Shannon and gossips about Kelly. Kelly comes by with Vicki looking for Vicki’s purse and some girl named Nina gets all involved. She gets nasty, telling them to look somewhere else. When they start to walk away, she says Kelly and Vicki are ghetto. Tamra thinks Jaci and Nina are trying to pick a fight with Kelly. I think wtf?
Vicki finds her purse near Heather, and Heather informs her that Nina put it there. Yep. She did. We see the video. Tamra stirs the pot by coming out and telling them that Nina has a problem with Kelly. Kelly returns to the gossip circle and says she heard Nina had something to say about her.
Tamra tries to extract herself from what she started, which is typical. Kelly says she doesn’t remember Jaci, who looks like every other Malibu Barbie chick. Nina keeps her nose in her phone. Kelly keeps calling Shannon Mrs. Roper and Shannon gets pissed, finally telling her to leave the party. Kelly says fine since the party sucks anyway. To be honest, it looks like a sparse crowd and not much fun. Shannon asks if Kelly is going to get hammered again tonight. She drags Heather into it, whining that she’s being accused of not having a 70s outfit. Huh? Tamra says she sees how Kelly feels set up. Well, yeah, you set her up.
Vicki somehow gets into it with David, who tells her to shut her f-ing mouth. Shannon comes running in, in tears, telling David they’re making fun of her or something. David and Vicki get nose to nose and David calls Vicki a scumbag. She tells him that’s the way he might talk to Shannon, but he’s not married to her. There’s a lot of yelling between David, Shannon, Kelly and Vicki, with everyone else just watching. Terry probably has the best observation face and Kelly’s husband continues to laugh through the whole thing. Kelly says no wonder David cheated. Everyone is like, whoa, and Shannon goes ballistic, accusing Kelly of cheating on her husband, and tells some story about her neighbor having an affair, alluding to it being with Kelly. Kelly keeps saying, who? and Shannon keeps replying, you, like it’s a Who’s On First routine. I think what Kelly is drunkenly trying to ask is, who is the neighbor?
Kelly gets loud, calling Shannon disgusting and ugly, and calling her Mrs. Roper again. Suddenly, Shannon claims she wanted to look like Mrs. Roper. This is so unbelievably juvenile and weird. Kelly curses them out all the way to the limo. Vicki is like, it’s all Brooks’s fault and calls his voicemail, complaining about having to still be dealing with his lies after nine months. Wow. How come I never get invited to parties like this?
Shannon wonders what happened to her party and if it can be salvaged. She and Tamra dress up in some weird costumes where they look nakey, but not really, and giant Afro wigs. They descend on Heather. I don’t know what to say. It’s been pointed out that whenever these girls have any kind of gathering while in costume, a battle is waged. Remember 80s night? Or the Bunco party?
Kelly goes on and on in the limo about being attacked. She says she felt that Shannon set her up with the two wannabes. Michael says she was hijacked, whatever that means. Kelly agrees.
Next time, Briana starts house renovations, Meghan gets her implantation, and Shannon and Kelly meet.
🎠 I don’t recap Odd Mom Out, but highly recommend it. Whether your a mom or not, it’s hysterically funny. Maybe you can tell from this snippet if the show is for you.
Tonight’s episode began with main character Jill in Kiss makeup, waking up on the kitchen floor amid bowling pins and other game pieces, being kissed by a miniature pig. She stumbles to the bathroom to find her husband in the bathtub with a tiger. Drew Barrymore guest starred.