July 27, 2016 – GH on Cassadine Island, Little Women in LA & Wives in NYC

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan and Maxie bask in the afterglow, although for a second I thought he was with another woman, since I’m not used to brunette nuMaxie.

Claudette hasn’t found out about the coffee shop yet, so she sits at the MetroCourt. She pulls the framed wedding photo of her and Nathan out of her purse. I guess she carries it with her instead of one of those pesky wallet photos. Why fool around?

Diane and Alexis meet at the coffee shop. Diane asks what the face is all about and tells her it’s no time to have cold feet. Alexis doesn’t think she can face the arraignment. Diane tells her to put her big girl pants on, because if she shows up with her divorce attorney, it will send a strong message to the bar. She asks if Alexis still has feelings for Julian and Alexis shows her the divorce papers, telling her that she already delivered a set to Julian.

Scotty tells Julian bail doesn’t look good. Julian was hoping Ava would be back by now and helping him out. Sonny shows up. He says payback is just getting started. For the first time since he joined the show, I’m on Team Sonny.

The group wanders around Cassadine Island. Doc has to stop and Ava says they should keep moving. Doc says to go on without him. Puh-leeze. Shouldn’t they have phone reception by now? I distinctly remember Valentin using a cell phone in the tunnels yesterday.

Laura says no one is going anywhere. She asks Dante if he had any medical training. Doc is like, excuse me, I’m an actual doctor, and asks for a mirror so he can see the wound. He says it’s not good and the bullet needs to come out now. I’ve never been a doctor, or played one on TV, but it doesn’t look that bad to me. And it’s pretty far away from any vital organs.

Alexis says she doesn’t think she can do it. Diane says she won’t be alone, but I’m questioning the outfit Diane is going to wear to court, a colorful hoodie and denim skirt. Is the dress code more lax at an arraignment?

Sonny says he’s a concerned citizen wanting to see justice served and laughs about Julian’s recovery. He says he’s been seeing a lot of Anna lately, emphasizing her connection to Duke, and the best thing would be for Julian to rot in prison. He says Julian will have to watch himself for the rest of his life since he has so many enemies. Paul comes out and says there won’t be any press, but private citizens are okay. Sonny wonders if Julian realizes how badly he screwed himself.

Dante finds a knife and Lulu produces some ancient first aid kit or sewing kit or something. Dante says he’ll take out the bullet, but the others need to hold Doc down. Doc starts yelling before Dante even does anything. Doc says Dante will have to hold him down and have Laura take out the bullet. He tells her to put the booze she’s holding on the wound. Um…maybe he should drink some? Doc gives Laura instructions. Oddly enough, Doc barely makes a peep as Laura cuts into him.

Nina calls Claudette. She tells Claudette she needs to come in because the next issue of Crimson has to be perfect due to Julian’s mess.

Maxie – who is wearing a black knit dress with white birds on it that I’m in love with – goes on to Nathan about Claudette. She says she should have listened to Nathan and Nina and gotten rid of her when she found out Claudette used a fake name when she applied for the job. Nathan brings up the shooting, but Maxie says she doesn’t think Claudette wants him to go to jail. She thinks Claudette wants to stop their wedding and says Claudette needs to go. She says they’ll have to fire her for performance problems and shows Nathan a flash drive Spinelli sent to her. She says they’ll talk about it later.

Laura gets the bullet out. So come on, Doc, let’s get going. Laura asks if he can take a little more pain and he says he doesn’t have a choice. Laura gets a needle and fishing line (?) from Lulu. Ava tells Dante they’re sitting ducks. He says Jason and Sam will be back soon. Ava is afraid that Valentin might have stopped them, and wishes they’d taken the guards phones. (You mean to tell me not one of them took a phone?) She says Julian could call in some favors. Dante tells her about Julian’s arrest.

The judge lists the charges and asks Julian if he understands. Julian keeps silent. Alexis walks in with Diane and he says he understands.

Nina is on the phone. She says if the charges against Julian turn out to be true, Crimson will have nothing to do with him anymore. Maxie sneaks into the office and does something with the flash drive and the computer.

Claudette shows up at Nathan’s. She says they need more closure. She says she wanted to speak with Maxie privately because she hasn’t been totally honest, but since he’s there, she’ll be honest with him first. She pulls that big honking picture out of her purse again.

Paul states his case about denying Julian bail. Scotty says nothing has been proven, yet the DA claims Julian is a flight risk. He wants Julian to be released on bail into the custody of his wife. I make a noise out loud. Sometimes I watch GH like some people watch football.

Ava refuses to believe Julian tried to kill Alexis. She says she should be back in Port Charles helping him and tending to Avery. Lulu approaches and Ava explains how she ended up with Nicholas. She says at first it was a fun game, but she got to know Nicholas. She tells Lulu how terrible he felt for lying to his family. Lulu says she never stopped loving him and Ava says he was special. Laura joins them, saying Doc is okay for now, but it wasn’t the most germ free scenario. She wonders where Jason and Sam are. Ava says she’s sorry about Nicholas and talks about how much she liked him. She says he was a complicated, but good man. Laura says if he hadn’t come back to the island, he’d still be alive, and the island is cursed. Lulu thinks about the earring she found.

They hear someone coming and hide. Yeah, just leave Doc out there in the open though. Geez, after all these people have been through in their lives, you’d think they’d be a little better at this.

A girl pops out and Dante asks who she is. She says her name is Daphne and she lives on the island. Dante asks if anyone sent her there. She says no, but Ava doesn’t trust her.

Nathan wonders why Claudette is walking around with the photo. She claims she suddenly found it in her bag (okay). She makes up a bunch of nonsense and says she realized she’s over him and wants to move on with her life. She says she wanted to send a clear message and drops he photo into a garbage can. The glass shatters. She says the only thing she wants from him is closure. He says he needs to talk to Maxie. Claudette says she’s got to get to work and will leave that to him.

Maxie continues to mess around on the computer, downloading malware to corrupt Claudette’s files.

Diane flies up to the bench and says Julian has terrorized her client and tried to murder her. She says he’s delusional. Julian gets up and starts whining about how he and Alexis love each other. Is he on the same show as everyone else? The judge tells Julian if he doesn’t knock it off, she’ll call him in contempt and have him restrained. She says there will be no bail.

Scotty tells Julian thanks for ticking off the judge. Julian says bail wasn’t going to happen anyway. Scotty asks what the floor show was for. Alexis asks Julian if he’s nuts. He doesn’t answer that, but tells her he still loves her and thinks she still loves him too. She says he destroyed all of it and she’s there to make sure he pays for what he’s done. He says it’s never going to be over for them.

Maxie says she hopes Claudette is ready to work because there’s a lot of pressure on this issue. Nina comes in with Claudette’s work and says it’s a disaster and can’t go to print. Claudette says someone must have messed with it. Maxie asks if she’s been hacked. Nina tells Claudette she picked a bad day to screw up and calls Maxie into the office. Nina wonders if Claudette gave them someone else’s work when she interviewed. She says she has no choice but to fire Claudette and hire a temp. They go back out and Claudette has a geek working on her computer.

Daphne says she doesn’t want any trouble and promises she won’t tell anyone she saw them. Doc groans and Laura says he has a fever. Daphne offers some antibiotics, but Ava is afraid it’s a trap. Daphne says hers is the only house on the street. When she mentions the street name, Lulu says, omg.

Nathan calls Maxie, leaving a message about her stopping by and saying that they might have been wrong about Claudette. The geek fixes Claudette’s computer. Claudette talks about some cryptic email that was sent when she was out of the office. They hit reply and it goes back to Maxie’s computer. I don’t really get this and I’m pretty computer savvy.

Scotty is like, that went well, and tells Julian that Alexis has nothing but contempt for him. Julian says Alexis is saying one thing, but her eyes say another. Yuk. Scotty says the police have a recording of his confession, but Julian says they’ll see about that. I hope they made copies.

Sonny asks Alexis why she lied to him.

Lulu asks what the exact address is. When Daphne tells her, Lulu says it’s the return address of an empty envelope she received in the mail.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Alexis about Parker, Claudette wants to say good-by, and Doc thinks he’s not long for this world.

Little Women: LA

I missed the first couple of this season’s episodes, but the main points are: No one knows where Briana is, Elena has preeclampsia, and Terra has decided not to find out the baby’s gender or if it has dwarfism until it comes.

Terra, Tonya and Christy also did a panel at Drag-con. where Christy and Terra buried the hatchet. Sort of.

The news is out. Briana is in the hospital with a bowel obstruction. Facetiming with her, Elena asks if she’d like anyone to visit and Matt says no from the background. When Elena hangs up, she tells Preston the whole thing is kind of sad and because of Matt, none of Briana’s friends or family know what’s going on.

Jasmine and Tonya are taking a workout class. Afterward, Jasmine asks about Kerwin. Tonya says he’s on his way to move in. Their daughter is returning from college as well. They discuss Matt and Briana. Briana has been ignoring Jasmine and Christy’s calls, and Christy thinks she’s in an abusive relationship. Tonya tells Jasmine that if she wants a relationship with Briana, she needs to step back. She adds not to let Christy’s opinion affect things.

The girls get together for dinner. Elena gives them an update on Briana. Jasmine is upset at being cut out of Briana’s life just because she doesn’t like Matt. Christy says Briana’s family has been contacting Christy in hopes of finding something out. Busybody Christy told them about the rumors that Matt has been seeing a transgender woman. There’s a discussion about Matt. Jasmine feels like he’s isolating Briana. Tonya tries to explain they need to back off because that’s who Briana wants with her. Jasmine gets upset and leaves.

Christy goes dog bed shopping with her mother and fills her in on the Briana discussion. She gets weepy over thinking that Briana might not even be getting her texts. She says Briana is losing her identity.

Jasmine and Chris are doing some gardening. It’s rare for Chris to get an afternoon off. Jasmine asks him about the railroad, but he hasn’t gotten scheduled yet. He says it feels wrong for Jasmine to be working so hard while he waits for his dream job. Jasmine says it works for them and she doesn’t care what anyone says.

Jasmine says with her type of dwarfism and hypothyroidism, her health is always of concern. Whenever she gets sick, she has to stay a step ahead so it doesn’t turn into something else. She wants to try and strengthen her immune system.

Briana is home. She says she was on her way out for a spa day with the girls and just fell over in pain. The pressure of the baby has caused her intestines to not work properly. She tells Matt it was the most terrifying experience of her life. She and Matt discuss how early on, the doctor said there might be a choice between saving her or the baby. Matt tells her they’ll make it through this.

Matt says when Briana first went into the hospital, he called Preston and Christy. He was trying to head things off, but then started getting texts and threats from Briana’s family. Briana is annoyed that Christy brought her family into it. She says she gave Christy another chance because she promised to stay away from Briana’s family. Now she doesn’t even want Christy having her new address.

Terra wants to make sure everything is clean before she has the baby, and that includes bathing the cat. Joe thinks it’s a little extreme and possibly insulting to the cat. Zelda the cat certainly takes it better than most of mine ever had. OMG – don’t put her near your face, Terra!

It’s move in day for Kerwin. Tonya has a few things to say about the clothing he’s brought. She can’t believe they’re actually doing this after all these years. She says she wants them both to put 100% into the relationship. Kerwin says she needs to cut all ties with old relationships. Tonya’s ex is also her business partner and Kerwin is not down with that. She says he still has some stuff of hers that slipped her mind, and Kerwin isn’t thrilled.

Jasmine visits Briana, bearing flowers and a gift. Briana reached out to her, but Jasmine is uncomfortable with Matt around and thinks Briana won’t be honest with her. She tells Briana she was hurt that she Facetimed with Elena, but not her. She says Briana is her number one girl. In her interview, Briana says Elena and Preston have always been supportive. Jasmine says she’s still having a hard time with what Matt did and she worries about Briana. Briana tells her that Matt was with her 24/7 while she was sick and is being the husband he’s supposed to be. In her interview, Jasmine says she’ll take Briana’s word for it, but Matt has a long way to go to prove it to her.They discuss Christy’s nose being in Briana’s family business. Briana says she’s done with Christy.

Jasmine brings Chris breakfast in bed, along with a note from their new baby. Her way of telling him that she’s pregnant. She’s concerned about the health complications, since she’s already having some issues. She tells Chris she has to talk to the doctor. He says if she has to be on bed-rest, he’ll do whatever is needed. She says she knows they’ll make it with him in her corner. In her interview, she says whatever comes their way, she knows they’ll get through it. I vote to put Chris in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum. A man who actually cares.

Tonya’s daughter, Angelique, calls a family meeting, saying she wants to establish some rules. It’s kind of silly, like she tells them no sex in the house if she’s there. She asks some questions like if they want to get married and why he’s suddenly moving in. When Tonya and Kerwin start to kiss, Angelique runs for the hills.

Terra and Jasmine go for a spray tan. Jasmine says Terra is pregnant and asks if that’s a risk. The clerk says during the first trimester, you should be cautious. Jasmine opts out of the tanning, and Terra realizes why. Jasmine is happy that she and Terra will be pregnant together this time. Terra asks if she’s worried about anything and Jasmine says the only thing on her mind is Chris. She’s hoping the railroad calls soon, just in case she ends up on bed-rest.

Briana has emailed Christy to meet her in the park. She says Christy has crossed way over the line and she doesn’t want Christy in her life anymore. Christy brings a housewarming gift and asks how the baby is. Briana says fine, and tells Christy that she’s moved and changed her phone number, but she doesn’t trust Christy with the information. Christy asks if she got her texts and Briana tells her she wasn’t in a position to answer them. Christy tells Briana that her family is worried. Christy asks to talk to Briana alone. Matt says fine, but tells her about the death threats he got from Briana’s family because Christy interfered. Briana tells Christy that Matt didn’t do anything to deserve this and Christy says, yes he has. My jury is still out about Matt, but I do think Christy needs to back off if she wants to salvage this friendship.

Christy claims the threats have nothing to do with her, and Matt says yes they do, since she’s the one who contacted Briana’s family. Matt leaves and Christy says Briana’s family wants to be with her. Briana says Christy broke her promise not to contact them. She says Christy also hired her publicist, and when Briana found out the publicist was being a mole for her family, she dumped her. Christy keeps saying she didn’t go behind Briana’s back, even though it’s obvious she did. Christy says if Briana wants to have an open marriage, that’s her business, and brings up Matt’s sexting. Briana says Christy can hate Matt all she wants, but she asked Christy to do one thing which she couldn’t do and now Christy is dead to her. In her interview, Christy says it’s like Briana has Stockholm Syndrome.

In her interview, Briana says she doesn’t know why Christy is so surprised. She leaves the gift on the park bench.

They don’t give a preview for this show and I’ve always wondered why.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda tells Sonja that Bethenny is sick again and won’t be going to Hawaii. She thinks Miami might be better since it’s not such a long flight. She says The Countess is in Palm Beach, so they can hook up with her too.

The Countess and Ramona join them and Dorinda fills them in on the plan change. In her interview, Ramona complains about not going to Hawaii. The Countess says an engagement party on a friend’s yacht has already been planned and now the girls can come too. The Countess calls Tom to let him know the change in plans. In her interview, Ramona complains about that too. Ramona leaves for a doctor’s appointment. Dorinda says she doesn’t dress like that for the doctor, and maybe Ramona is going to a “personal gynecologist.”

Jules goes shoe shopping. She’s excited about Miami, since her parents aren’t far from there. Ramona and Sonja join her. We look at tons of cute shoes that nobody in their right mind should spend that much money on. Jules has decided to go down a day early to visit with her father, who is out of the hospital and feeling better.

Ramona talks about how The Countess told the press about not caring that Sonja and Ramona went out with Tom before she did. Apparently, they got things mixed up and named Ramona as the friend with benefits. Why anyone should care, I’m not sure. Ramona thinks The Countess shouldn’t have mentioned her at all. Sonja and Jules discuss the three date rule and sloppy seconds.

Bethenny is having the girls over to discuss the Miami trip. Carole shows up with a huge scratch on her face from her boxer’s overzealous greeting. A boxer dog, not a human boxer. Bethenny tells them about the ski trip with Brinn and how it was a good bonding experience.

Dorinda brings up The Countess’s engagement party, and says they’ll be going to Palm Beach first on Friday. Ramona wonders why Tom asked The Countess out when he was still dating her. Why are we still belaboring this point? Bethenny says she’s not going on Friday and reads the text she sent to The Countess. Bethenny talks about having a Mexican party to thank them for their support.

Dorinda calls Carole, who is skeptical about the engagement party, but wants to meet Tom. She admits to being curious as to how it’s going to go with Tom, The Countess, Ramona and Sonja on the same boat.

Jules visits her parents. She’s happy to see her dad up and around again. Her drink is coming out at Whole Foods in a few weeks. She says she didn’t expect to be a business owner, but it’s empowering. Her father tells her how proud he is and jokes that she can take care of him now in his old age. She calls the kids and one of them whines that their father isn’t there yet. She says she’ll call him. She’s annoyed that he’s not filling in the way he was supposed to when she was away. Of course all of this is colored by the fact they’re getting a divorce now. It makes me wonder if any fast editing was done after that announcement was made. Jules tells her parents about the Miami trip and how much the girls fight.

Ramona wants Sonja to carry her bag because she’s a selfish twit. Sonja refuses. Good. The Ramona type, who wants you to wait on them, does not fly with me. I always tell them I’m not their boyfriend. The Countess is getting ready for her guests on the yacht. Jules arrives first. The Countess talks about how happy she is.

Ramona asks Dorinda if The Countess still has a problem with her. Sonja thinks Dorinda is stirring the pot. Ramona and Sonja flirt with the driver, embarrassing Dorinda since he’s their daughters’ age. Ramona is still ticked about what The Countess said to the press and won’t shut up about how she was dating Tom when he asked The Countess out. Dorinda thinks the whole thing isn’t right. Ramona thinks The Countess was deceitful in how she picked up Tom when he was out with someone else.

The girls arrive at the yacht. Sonja picks up a glass of champagne and Ramona takes it out of her hand. The Countess hands her another glass and in her interview, Ramona says she’s a bad influence. We tour the yacht. I actually like it better than the Ionian Princess on Below Deck Mediterranian. It’s nicely decorated, not busy and not garish. The Countess is shocked when Ramona says she doesn’t care what room she’s in.

The girls change into bathing suits while Dorinda talks to The Countess. She tells The Countess about Ramona’s remarks concerning the press. The Countess says she doesn’t want to talk to Ramona and nothing is going to ruin her party. Dorinda asks who’s talking to the press. The Countess says she can talk to whoever she wants, since it’s her story, but doesn’t answer the question.

Ramona asks Sonja to take a picture of her. Carole is the last to arrive. In her interview, she says she and The Countess have had their ups and downs, but she’s genuinely happy for her. The Countess tells everyone about the men who’ve been invited. Ramona asks for a list of the invitees because everything is all about her and she wants to know who she can swoop down on. The Countess says she’s not inviting Ramona to anything anymore.

Bethenny is already in Miami. She talks to a friend about The Countess and Tom, and how he was dating Sonja and Ramona. She says The Countess is the biggest barracuda of all of them. She talks about someone sending her a series of texts that would blow up the engagement, and she thinks there’s a possibility of the wedding being canceled if the news gets out. She says she’s going to have to tell The Countess about it. Oooh, tell us first.

The Countess says Tom’s mother is in town and they’ve been looking at wedding venues. Ramona brings up Tom having dated her and The Countess says he was definitely a player, but it’s all BL – before Lu. She says she was a player too, but they’re a perfect match.

The girls get ready for the party. Tom arrives and puts the moves on The Countess. The rest of them gather in one of the bedrooms and Ramona pumps Sonja for information on the last time she saw Tom and how she’s going to feel tonight. Ramona says it would be too weird for her, since the last time Sonja saw him, they were romping in the sheets. Sonja says it’s fine, but Carole wonders if it won’t be awkward. Sonja says she’s getting emotional. Well, yeah, because these insensitive morons won’t shut up. She says she didn’t know he was seeing The Countess. Ramona says that The Countess knew Tom was seeing her and Sonja is like, wha-a-a-at?

Next time, the party commences, Ramona acts like an idiot, Tom is uncomfortable, Sonja is sad, and The Countess tells Ramona to shut up.

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