August 17, 2016 – GH’s Test Results, Little LA’s Friendships Tested & NYC Wives Test Miami’s Waters


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu presents various nursery lamps for Dylan’s approval – in the interrogation room. He suggests maybe she’s getting a little ahead of things.

Laura and Tracy wait for the DNA test result on the bracelet. Tracy says Monica put a rush on it, but obviously not as much of one as Nell’s kidney test.

Franco startles Elizabeth, popping up from the back seat of her car.

Kristina leaves a message for Parker, telling her she’s rude for ignoring her calls, wondering if her mother dictated Parker’s letter, and babbling in general. Actually, she seems drunk. Molly hears her, grabs her phone, and throws it over the railing.

It’s time for Alexis to face the bar. And I don’t mean in a good way. Diane thinks she has a shot at redemption.

Tracy tells Laura that she’s sorry about Nicholas. She says they worked together on a project once, and he was very good. Laura is worried about the DNA results. Tracy says Luke has almost met his end a million times and he wouldn’t allow it to happen on Cassadine Island.

Lulu tells Dante she doesn’t want to believe her father is dead. She hasn’t heard back from Lucky either. She says Dante and Rocco are getting her through, as well as the plans for the new baby.

Okay, Kristina is drunk dialing. She claims she was going to call an Uber and tries to go after her phone, but Molly stops her. Kristina tells Molly about Alexis driving Parker away. She says their mom has interfered in her life for the last time and she hopes they throw the book at her.

The moderator reviews what happened with Carrrlos and Alexis refusing to consider the DA’s offer. He asks if she disputes any of it. Diane says no, and the judge says all that’s left is the closing statement. Geez, everything moves so fast in Port Charles, you’d think it was some huge cosmopolitan city. Olivia bursts in asking if she’s too late.

Elizabeth jumps out of the car. Franco says he needs to talk to her and it seemed like the only place he could do it. He tells her he’s sorry.

Olivia says she’d like to make a statement. The moderator says they have it on paper, but she wants to make it in person. She says meaning no disrespect, they’re all being played for fools. The moderator says by who, and Olivia brings up Mayor Lomax, saying the mayor wants revenge and they can’t let her get away with it. The moderator says even though unorthodox, they thank her for her statement. Alexis asks to speak on her own behalf.

Kristina says she wants Alexis to lose something she cares about and to have consequences for her actions. Molly says she’s mad at Julian, but doesn’t want Alexis to lose her license. Molly says they need to have the kind of love where you let someone hate you so they don’t hurt themselves. I have no idea what she means.

Tracy says it would be just like Luke to be relaxing half a world away while they worry about him being dead. Laura apologizes for being against Luke and Tracy getting married. Tracy says it was all for the best in the long run, but Laura asks if she’s still in love with Luke.

Alexis starts from when she was born, and tells the bar how her mother’s murderer was never prosecuted. She says she became a lawyer because she grew up with no justice. She tells them that Carrrlos killed Duke under Julian’s orders, but chose not to give Julian up, and her desire to protect Julian had nothing to do with it. She says honoring the client’s wishes sometimes is at odds with what’s best for them, and legal counsel can only improve by learning from mistakes. She says she will do better, but can’t if they won’t let her try.

Molly says it never occurred to Kristina that Parker might be using her. Kristina accuses her of getting off on it because it makes Molly look better. She says she can’t wait for the day that Molly realizes that she’s never really lived. Molly calls her a mean drunk. She says every time Kristina has a choice, she picks the wrong one, always leaning toward chaos.

Franco says he didn’t know that Elizabeth was the one who got him off the hook and he’s sorry. He adds that she let him go on a tirade and could have clued him in. He says he thought she doubted his innocence and doubted getting involved with him. He asks if that’s no longer the case.

Lulu talks about furnishing the nursery with flea market finds and Dante says he knows nothing about refinishing furniture. She says she does because she looked it up on the internet. Lulu gets a call from Dr. Lee telling her that her malaria test is negative. She can start hormone treatments now.

Tracy says she’s tried not to be in love with Luke, but hasn’t been able to shake him. Laura talks about falling in love with Luke when she was just a girl and going on an adventure with him. She says they got married and had kids, but she never grew up because he was always there to save her. She says Scotty always treated her like a child too, and when people treat you like a child, you continue to be one. She says she finally started to grow up when there were no more kids to raise and no husband to please or define her. She’s finally started to define herself.

The DNA samples don’t match the bracelet.

Elizabeth tells Franco she was uncomfortable on their date. She could have fooled me. She says for a while she could see him as an eccentric artist, but his past is violent and unstable. She says sometimes he triggers memories of who he used to be. She gives him the it’s me, not you speech, and says she doesn’t think she can make peace with his past and doesn’t think they should see one another any more.

Out in the hall, Alexis thanks Olivia. She says Olivia was right to worry about Julian and protect Leo, and apologizes for getting Leo’s DNA behind her back. Olivia says she was fooled too, and actually believed Julian could be a good father. She leaves and Alexis and Diane are called back in.

Kristina tells Molly to get lost, and that she doesn’t need her judgments. She screams in Molly’s face and Molly leaves. Kristina sits down and cries. Molly comes back and hugs her.

The moderator gives Alexis all kinds of props, but says she acted negligently in Carrrlos’s case. He says for that reason, they can’t allow her to continue practicing law in New York state. Diane says she’s going to appeal, but he says they didn’t rule to disbar, just suspend. Indefinitely. They’ll reconvene in a year and review Alexis’s conduct. If it sucks, she’ll be disbarred.

Lulu finds out about Luke and hugs Dante. Olivia comes in and wonders why Lulu is crying, but seems happy. Lulu tells her that her dad is still alive and also that she’s getting an embryo implant. Olivia is thrilled.

Tracy says they still don’t know where Luke is. Laura says that’s not unusual and that he frequently falls off the grid. Tracy thinks Laura is gearing up to track Luke down and says she can help, but Laura says she’s not going to do it this time.

Olivia’s intuition tells her that Lulu is going to have a girl. Dylan says he doesn’t doubt Olivia’s psychic powers, but he’s skeptical. Olivia says fine, but they’re having a girl. She leaves and Lulu and Dante say they don’t really care which it is.

Franco says he thinks there’s something special between him and Elizabeth. She thinks they should end it before it ends badly and they hurt each other. Franco says he lied a little about the painting of her. He says it’s true that he sees her as beautiful in an ugly world, but she’s an angel who gives him hope. He thought she might be his salvation, someone who looks past the evil in his life that he’s tried to distance himself from, and sees there’s still good in him. She says he has to find salvation in himself.

Diane orders martinis for her and Alexis at the MetroCourt. She tells Alexis to take some classes or something and the year will fly by. Alexis says it won’t and she’s made spectacular errors in judgment, but she was good at her job. She says she doesn’t know what she’ll tell her kids. Diane says the kids will be fine and she’ll find a reason to get up in the morning besides work.

Laura tells Tracy it’s not her place to go after Luke anymore and she has people who need her. Tracy asks if Doc is one of them. Laura says she was thinking about Lulu and Spencer, but she does want to see Doc. She tells Tracy if she loves Luke, she should go find him. Tracy leaves another message for Luke, saying it’s time for him to call. She doesn’t want to know where he is, but only that he’s okay.

Franco says Elizabeth is right and it’s not her job to save him, He says he’ll find salvation on his own. Elizabeth tells him he has a gift and should use it, and to keep painting salvation in art. He kisses her on the cheek and says he’ll see her around.

I count five martini glasses, but don’t know who drank what. Diane says she has to get up early and has to go. She tells Alexis she’s sorry this is happening. Alexis says it’s not that she wasn’t warned and next time stop her before she self destructs. Diane tells her she’ll get through this and she’ll call her tomorrow. Alexis orders another martini and says keep the tab open.

Kristina asks Molly why she’s still there. Molly says she’s still her sister and she doesn’t judge her, she looks up to her. Kristina says she doesn’t deserve Molly’s niceness. Molly says she does, and if Parker didn’t make her feel that way, it’s time to move on. She suggests getting a pizza and watching a movie. They leave for home.

Kristina’s forgotten phone rings. It’s parker

Tomorrow, Laura argues with Hayden, Finn is close to an answer, andClaudette isn’t going anywhere.

Little Woman: LA

Kerwin is highly pissed because Tonya still has to get some of her stuff from Jaa’s place. Kerwin says she’s wasting his time. Tonya says it’s not her fault and she thinks Kerwin is being unreasonable. Tonya is hurt that Kerwin doesn’t believe or trust her. In her interview, Tonya says she wants to make this work and will do whatever it takes. Kerwin says he’s out of there. Tonya says she’ll take care of it, but he says seeing is believing.

Elena’s twins have been released from the hospital after only two weeks. Both Kairo and Xavier are just over four pounds each and so precious, like little baby dolls. They still have to do a genetic test to see if either one is a little person, but for now, Elena just wants to enjoy them.

Briana and Terra have an appointment with a photographer to do pregnancy photos. In her interview, Terra says she’s glad to let the Matt issues go and is ready to have fun with Briana again. Briana’s photos are beautiful, but Terra’s are more “out there.” She wants her baby to think she was cray.

Terra discusses Tonya’s comment about it being good that Briana is having a little baby rather than average sized, because she just can’t understand the comment had nothing to do with her and wants to continue to take it personally. Briana says whatever stature her children are, she’s still large and in charge. She wonders who Tonya is to judge her. Terra says she hasn’t spoken to Tonya since she critiqued Tonya’s active-wear, except they all went to that henna thing together – did that not count or did she forget? In her interview, Terra says she wants to make amends with Tonya because they’ve been friends for 15 years, but she doesn’t want Tonya looking like a fool with her clothing line. She’s also afraid that at some point, Tonya is going to explode.

Jasmine has been doing some extra hours at the salon. She’s not ready to tell her boss she’s pregnant and wonders if there’s anything else she could do to get some extra income. Welcome to my world. She asks her boss about picking up even more work, and her boss suggests sending her to classes so she can expand her hairdressing horizons. Jasmine is excited to be furthering her career.

Matt and Briana go shopping. She tells him about the photo shoot and how well it went with Terra. Matt says he needs to learn how to accept people for who they are and move forward. Briana repeats Tonya’s comment that Terra repeated to her. It’s become a game of telephone and Briana says Tonya claimed she couldn’t handle an average sized child. Matt suggests they just focus on the coming baby.

Tonya is dealing with a thinning spot on her scalp and goes to the hair salon. She discusses it with Jasmine, who also has a thinning hair problem. Jasmine tells Tonya that her salon deals with that a lot. Jasmine says it’s a huge step for Tonya to confide in her, and lets Tonya know she’s pregnant in return. Tonya says Christy is going to be pissed.

Jasmine asks if she missed anything after she left henna day. Tonya tells her about Terra criticizing her clothing line, but says she didn’t receive it as constructive and didn’t think Terra was coming from a good place. Jasmine suggests she tell Terra that this is her dream and either support her or not.

Commercial break. It’s a preview of Little Women: Atlanta. I just can’t anymore. Monie, Money, Minnie, twins whose names I can never remember, whatever. I can’t deal with those girls who are basically going nowhere. At least nowhere there isn’t twerking.

Tonya meets Christy, who has a terrific new haircut and color, at the gym. They work on the Pilates machines. Christy talks about how difficult exercise classes can be for little people. Tonya says she could only invite Christy, since she’s the only one who isn’t pregnant. I’m sure Jasmine will really appreciate her scooping that news.

Once again, Tonya relays what Terra said about her active-wear. She tells Christy about the Habitat for Humanity – Power Women/Power Tool volunteer day she’s invited everyone to. Christy says she’s missed everyone and Tonya says they’ve missed her too. I think Tonya might be exaggerating just a little.

Terra comes to see Elena’s twins. I’m not much of a baby person, but even I want to squish them. She asks how it is caring for both of them. Elena says it’s a lot of work, but better than having them in the hospital. Terra shares a Penny poop story. She asks Elena if she knows if the babies are little or not. Elena says she doesn’t really care as long as they’re healthy. In her interview, Terra says she’s going to get the test right away, so she can be prepared, but she thinks Elena doesn’t want to know because she’s scared. Now who has opinions about someone else’s baby? They talk about Habitat LA, but Terra says she was invited before her fallout with Tonya, so she isn’t sure how that is going to go.

Christy was supposed to go to a jewelry making class with Autumn, but Autumn still isn’t well, so her mom comes instead. Her mom immediately tells the clerk she hates crafts and he’s like, alrighty then. They discuss Autumn and Habitat LA. Christy says she’s been so involved with her own family, she hasn’t had time to think about hanging out with the girls. She says she won’t be happy to see Terra, but she’s glad Tonya reached out to her with the invite. Christy makes a face at her mom’s bracelet making skills, but I think it looks cool.

Jaa brings the rest of Tonya’s stuff to her house. Jaa tries to make peace with Kerwin and Tonya says she just wants to disappear. He says he wishes Kerwin would reconsider his and Tonya’s working relationship. Tonya says she just wants Kerwin to be happy. Kerwin says it’s nothing personal, but he’s not comfortable with Jaa being Tonya’s ex. Jaa accepts that and it’s peace out.

Tonya and Jasmine meet for lunch. Because no one can leave it alone, Jasmine brings up what Tonya said about Briana having a little baby. Tonya says Terra didn’t understand her point. She says Briana doesn’t have a strong personality and even her daughter runs over her. Jasmine says it’s upsetting to other little people moms and Tonya says she’s not talking about them, she’s talking about Briana specifically. In her interview, Tonya is seriously annoyed. She tells Jasmine that Matt is also who he is, and with Briana’s situation, that’s how she feels. Jasmine says she’ll drop it then and Tonya steals some of her cake.

It’s Habitat LA day. While the director is getting Tonya set up with a ladder, Christy arrives. She plans on steering clear of Terra and hopes they keep Terra away from the chainsaws. She tells Tonya that when Terra is pregnant, she turns into an alien. And by that she means from another planet, not another country.

Terra shows up. In her interview, Tonya says she hopes “that heifer” stays focused and keeps her mouth shut. Terra isn’t thrilled to see Christy, but is glad Christy is wearing a hard hat, so she doesn’t get any more “contusions.” Christy tries to be nice, but Terra isn’t having any. Terra tells Tonya she’s been ignoring her calls and says that her inviting Christy would be like if she invited Jaa, which makes no sense. Tonya suggests she just concentrate on volunteerism.

Christy, Tonya and Terra do some spackling. Terra want to talk it out with Tonya, who doesn’t want to discuss it there, but Terra presses the issue. Tonya tells Terra that she hurt her feelings. She says the workout line is her vision and when she’s ready to talk about it, she will. Terra wants to know why they can’t have an adult conversation and Tonya says they will, but not here. Christy tries to interject that it’s not the place because this is for charity and Terra tells her to STFU. Tonya says maybe Terra shouldn’t be there then, and she stomps out.

Next time, vegetable picking, Kerwin is having a party and doesn’t want to invite Terra, Terra comes anyway and starts a fight.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Oh, that’s right. Bethenny is going to tell The Countess what a jerk Tom is. This should be good. Especially since I’m sure The Countess will try to justify it.

Bethenny tells Carole and Ramona that Tom has been unfaithful to The Countess. Ramona tells her not to say that and Carole thinks maybe it’s not him, but Bethenny has a photo. Ramona totally freaks out because everything is all about her. Apparently Tom was drunkenly making out with an ex-Playboy centerfold at a bar for quite a while – after his engagement to The Countess. Ramona wants to see the picture so they can “take a vote” if it’s really him. Yeah, right. Bethenny says it’s him.

Ramona is getting a manicure and can barely keep her sh*t together when The Countess comes in to talk to her. Ramona just gives her bug eyes and a smile while she prattles on. Bethenny shows Carole the picture and she confirms. In her interview, Bethenny says it’s not a question of if, but of when and how. She thinks that The Countess is really in love with the whole atmosphere of getting married though, rather than her upcoming groom.

Bethenny, Sonja and Ramona are waiting for Dorinda and the rest to arrive for dinner. Ramona has told Sonja about Tom, and Bethenny gets pissed. Ramona acts like she didn’t know any better. Sonja talks about having slept with Tom and almost meeting his mother not too long before he became engaged to The Countess. Bethenny wonders if The Countess knows the timeline. Wow. This restaurant is right on the water and I want to be there. At another table. The girls order appetizers.

Dorinda finally arrives with the rest of the women. Sonja and Ramona tun to the table, taking seats to block Bethenny from The Countess. Bethenny bitches at them for being late. Carole is the perpetrator and says she told them to leave without her. A gigantic bowl of iced shrimp comes out and it makes everything better.

The Countess talks about not knowing where Tom is tonight, but not being the jealous type. Dorinda has planned some kind of sandbar trip and Ramona is worried about not getting food if she goes. Dorinda explains that there’s food there. Geez, if you’re that worried, pack a snack. Ramona doesn’t want to come and Dorinda thinks she’s rude.

The ladies change venues, sans Bethenny and Sonja. It’s a really cool Spanish bar where Jules gets up on stage and tries to play the trombone. Now she’s wearing what looks like a vase on her head. That Jules, what a card! Ramona touches up her makeup, telling them she’s going out. Aren’t they out already?

Bethenny tells Sonja that once she gets moody, it’s hard to shake. She says there’s a part of her that feels bad for The Countess, but another that feels like The Countess should have known better. Sonja thinks she should talk to Tom. No. Bethenny asks for his phone number. No. Bethenny dials and says she feels like throwing up. There’s no answer and she says he’s out banging somebody else. She gets voicemail and hangs up. She tells Sonja she’s going to sleep on it.

The next day, Bethenny doesn’t think she can be around The Countess and doesn’t want to ruin her weekend. Carole says that Tom is now saying that Sonja was only a one night stand. He sounds like a real d-bag.

The rest of the girls join them. Ramona tells everyone she’s tired and she’s not going to the sandbar. I don’t know if it’s a place named Sandbar or a sandbar. Ramona isn’t fooling anyone as they know she’s really going shopping. When she changes, Dorinda says she doesn’t look like someone who’s going back to sleep.

Bethenny decides to go shopping with Ramona. She tells Dorinda that Sonja seems to be processing the Tom stuff. Dorinda didn’t realize that Sonja was that involved, but Bethenny says Sonja was going to meet his mom around Thanksgiving. Carole joins them and they discuss whether or not there will be a wedding. Dorinda seems surprised they would even wonder about that, and Bethenny says Dorinda has no understanding about The Countess. In her interview, Dorinda thinks there’s too much focus on the negative.

Dorinda resigns herself to the fact that the girls are going to do what they want. Minus Bethenny, Sonja and Ramona, they get in a small, but very comfortable boat. Drinks and appetizers are served. It looks like the sandbar is really a sandbar. Some guy in a passing boat yells C’est le vie to The Countess and she goes out of her mind with joy because they’ve recognized her and know her “music.”

The other three go to a restaurant. Bethenny has decided to talk to The Countess before they leave Miami. In her interview, Ramona wonders if Tom thinks he’s invisible.

Carole gets into a canoe to go on a food run. She comes back with ice cream and everyone wonders why she didn’t bring hot dogs. She says she ate one on the way, but didn’t think they’d want any. Carole. The Countess talks about Bethenny questioning her and asking if she and Tom are monogamous. Carole tries to defend Bethenny, saying that Bethenny is just concerned because of her own experiences.

Bethenny tells Ramona about trying to call Tom. She says the right thing to do is to tell her friend.

The Countess wants to correct Bethenny’s misconceptions. She says she had an open marriage with The Count, but it wasn’t what she wanted; she just put up with it.

Dorinda tells Jules that Ramona is a dog that bites and the girls who wouldn’t come along to the sandbar were rude. Bethenny has heard that The Countess isn’t happy with her, so she’s invited her friend, Romero, a famous artist, to dinner. The better to deflect things. The Countess doesn’t know who he is and thinks it’s bizarre that she would bring him.

The Countess asks why Ramona and friends didn’t want to go to the sandbar. Dorinda says Ramona was ill-mannered by pretending she wanted to relax, but Ramona says she relaxed at Bagatelle. She and Ramona hug it out. Honestly, it’s not like Dorinda had to go by herself.

The Countess says blah-blah-blah about Tom and Sonja claims to have been a one night stand for ten years. I have to add that Sonja is wearing a tiara.

It’s the end of the trip. They’re getting ready to leave and The Countess goes to Bethenny’s room. She says something has been bothering her. She says she was hurt by the way Bethenny talked about her and The Count cheating on one another, and felt she cheapened the beauty of their marriage. She asks why Bethenny would ask if she was monogamous with Tom.

Bethenny says she apologizes for what she said about The Countess’s marriage. The Countess again asks why Bethenny asked about she and Tom being monogamous. Bethenny says she has something that was dumped in her lap, and she doesn’t want it to be happening, but she has to show and tell The Countess something. The Countess says please don’t let it be about Tom, and Bethenny says it’s about Tom. She says it’s something true, and she has pictures, and she doesn’t want to be doing this.

The countess says she can’t and leaves. Then she can’t get into her room and tells the cameraman to stop filming. She talks to herself about Tom, saying please don’t let him be stupid.

Next time, The Countess calls Tom, Jules wears a watermelon on her head, Dorinda argues with Bethenny, and Ramona makes it about her.


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