Monthly Archives: September 2016

September 29, 2016 – A Dose of Pre-weekend GH


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan tells Griff he’s not surprised to see him. He opens the DNA test results.

Laura sits down on a flight and Doc sits next to her. He says he’s been trying to find a way to see her.

Jason wakes up Sam. She says she was just lying down for a minute and it’s been four hours. I know what that’s like. He asks if she’s hungry and says there’s leftover spaghetti from what he fed the kids.

Anna finds a pair of cufflinks the size of a small planet in Paul’s drawer. She calls Jordan and tells her to get over to Paul’s room. There’s something she needs to see.

Paul tells Tracy he can’t let her leave. She says if he’s changed his mind about dinner, he can go back to the hospital and she can go home. He says he knows she was outside Susan’s door and she knows that he’s been killing for Susan.

Sam says she’s never seen her mother hung over before, and now she’s seen it twice in as many days. She says Alexis’s problem isn’t the drinking though, it’s that Julian destroyed her life. Now he’s been acquitted and it’s like a slow-motion nightmare she can’t get out of. Jason asks how they can stop it.

Laura says she’s switching seats, but Doc tells her the flight is booked and she’s stuck with him until they land. She asks how he secured the seat next to her and he tells her that he’s a junior Jedi when it comes to talking people into things. He says it was the only way he could think of to spend one-on-one time with her. She says after everything they’ve been through together, after they make love, she finds out he’s written about things she told him in confidence. He gives her his manuscript and asks her to look at it.

According to the paternity test, Nathan is Claudette’s baby daddy. Claudette says of course, and Griff says an hour ago she wasn’t sure. Claudette says in her heart she knew, and Maxie asks what heart? She wants to know why the one time Claudette tells the truth, it’s this time.

Jordan gets to Paul’s room. Anna tells her Paul isn’t there, and explains how she got in. She tells Jordan how she found the cufflinks.

Tracy says yes, she heard Paul, but she’s too selfish to turn him in. He asks why he should believe her, and she says because they have a son. They can either be civilized co-conspirators or she can leave. He says he can’t take the risk. She says no one can know because of Dillon, and makes the mistake of telling him that no one knows she’s there. I say, “Oh sh*t, Tracy!” out loud. She asks why he did it. He says he’s been meting out justice since he returned to Port Charles.

Jason says the only way Julian is going to leave for good is if he wants to, and Sam is going to make him want to.

Doc’s book is about social media and adolescents. Laura asks what about the other book. She adds that she has Spencer on her mind. She was hoping for a peaceful ride home, and she’s grateful that her innermost thoughts won’t be shared with the world. She tells Doc that she was going to see him when she got back and gives him something from Spencer. It’s a note from the “noble patriarch of the family,” thanking him for what he did for Laura in Greece and taking a bullet for her. Doc says he looks forward to reading it. Laura says she does think about Greece a lot and how Doc protected her.

Maxie wonders if Claudette could have tampered with the test, but Nathan says, sorry, it’s real. He made sure of it. Maxie tells him to stay and do what he needs to do for himself and his daughter. She says with a mother like Claudette, Charlotte needs a father like him. She says they’ll figure it out together later and leaves.

Claudette tells Nathan she knows how hard this must be for the both of them. Nathan tells her to skip the apologies and wants to see Charlotte asap. He asks where she is.

Anna shows Jordan the clippings and Jordan says it’s circumstantial. Anna says she would agree, but they know Paul has killed before.

Paul says Susan is the light of his life. He tells Tracy about each person and how they were involved with Susan’s downfall. A pharmacist, someone who kicked her out of rehab after a slip, and Sloan the rapist. He says after the rape, she went to GH and saw Monica, who is the last person responsible who’s still alive, but she won’t be for long.

Doc asks how Spencer is doing and Laura says he’s unstoppable, but more important, he’s safe. She says she investigated the school thoroughly, and is convinced it’s secure. Doc says Spencer is lucky to have her in his life.

Maxie gets home and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Griff. He asks if she’s okay and she says no. She says she’s not his responsibility, but he says she was just blindsided by something that involves him. He says if there’s any way to make amends, he wants to do it. She tells him short of building a time machine, there isn’t anything he can do. She collapses in his arms crying.

Nathan tells Claudette to arrange for him to see Charlotte safely, but she’s resistant.

Anna brings up Paul’s murder of Sloan, but Jordan says it’s a far cry from him being a serial killer. Anna says he was cold-blooded and methodical about how he covered his tracks, and it lines up with the profile. She says there were no articles kept about Sabrrrina or Lucas, and they had figured them to be unplanned collateral damage. She tells Jordan that they have to figure out the common denominator.

Paul says Susan told the ER she had been raped. Dr. Mays screwed up her rape kit and the only witness (another murder victim) refused to testify. He says Monica told Susan that without a proper rape kit, they couldn’t do an investigation. Tracy says that’s not Monica’s fault and to leave her out of it. Paul says Monica remembered his cologne and it’s time for him to tie up every loose end.

Sam tells Jason that the last time she saw Julian, she slapped him in the face and said he disgusted her. She says she’s willing to talk to Julian if Jason talks to Sonny. She wants Jason to make him see all the ways it could go wrong if he goes after Julian.

Maxie says maybe down the road, she’ll see this as something that made her marriage stronger. She says she thinks Griff is a good person, and can’t figure out how he and Nathan got involved with someone like Claudette.

Nathan wants to know why Claudette is stalling and talking in circles. He says if she won’t tell him where Charlotte is, he’ll turn her into the authorities.

Anna thinks all the murder victims are connected to Susan’s past. Jordan suggests they contact her. Anna says Paul mentioned that Susan needed professional help and wonders if there’s a connection to the social worker who was murdered.

Tracy says what happened to Susan was horrible and the people involved should be held accountable. Paul thanks her for understanding, but says Sabrrrina and Elizabeth weren’t supposed to die. He’s glad Elizabeth will be okay, but he feels guilty about Sabrrrina, and will have to live with it. Tracy says not to make Dillon live with it. Paul promises Dillon will never know, because she won’t be able to tell him. He can’t let her walk out of there alive. As opposed to walking out of there dead.

Doc shows Laura the final draft of the book about her. He says it will never be published and it’s the only copy, for her eyes only. She says she’s not interested, but he tells her to just read the inscription. It talks about her being the bravest and most fascinating women he’s ever known and how she’s faced every challenge with fortitude and grace.

Griff says Claudette could be loving. Maxie stops him and says she appreciates him trying to answer, but he’s focused on finding the good in Claudette. That doesn’t make him a bad person, but delusional. She says look how Claudette just dropped a bomb on all of them.

Claudette says when Nathan shot Griff, she hadn’t realized he could be pushed that far. Griff walked out, and Charlotte was the one good thing she got to keep and she didn’t want to share her. Nathan asks what changed, and she says she got involved with a very bad man. She’s scared to tell him where Charlotte is, and she doesn’t scare easily. Nathan asks her to tell him everything about the man.

Jordan can’t track down Susan. Anna has contacted the WSB and found out there’s a connection with the rehab. Jordan says she’ll get a search warrant. Anna agrees, even though she has reason to search already. She’s going to stay and stall Paul if he gets back. Jordan leaves and Anna keeps looking around. She finds some mail. A statement from the psychiatric hospital is in the pile. It’s called Celestial something and I think of the tea.

Tracy tells Paul she’s willing to be an accomplice to a series of murders in order to not traumatize Dillon, so don’t traumatize him by killing his mother. Paul says she has a point. He says what he’s doing is important and when he’s finished, Susan will come back. He picks up one of his ties and starts twirling it around in his hands. Tracy says she thought he was seriously misguided, but never thought he was crazy. She tells him that Susan isn’t suddenly going to get better because he killed some people. He says the bottom line is that he’s going to kill Monica and if Tracy leaves, she’ll try to save her.

Sam and Jason talk about Jason’s friendship with Sonny. Sam says no one was as good as Jason, and now that he’s not working for Sonny anymore, mistakes could be made. If something goes wrong, it could be traced back to Sonny. She says Carly has changed too. She can’t take the violence any more, and wants Sonny to handle things in a different way. Sam says Carly is a mom and if her kids are in danger, she might leave. She wants Jason to get Sonny to understand that leaving Julian alone is his best option. She calls Kristina to babysit so they can do this tonight

Anna calls someone, saying she needs their help and it’s urgent

Paul thanks Tracy for listening. He says he’s sorry and tells her good-by.

Laura tells Doc the book was positive and not painful at all. He says he calls it as he sees it. She says she needs time until she knows how she feels, and he says okay.

Maxie says she’s done talking about Claudette and if Griff wants to hear Claudette’s epic tale of woe, to ask her. And then come back so they can compare notes to see where she’s lying. Griff asks what in particular bothers her about Claudette’s story and Maxie says, everything. Ever the optimist, she says as bad as today has gone, it’s going to get worse.

Claudette tells Nathan that once he hears the man’s name, he’ll know why she’s scared. It’s Valentin.

I knew it! All along I’ve wondered if it’s him. For one thing, they didn’t hire some big soap name for just a few episodes. I knew it.

Tomorrow, Anna needs to find Paul, Morgan needs help, Jason talks to Sonny, and Sam tells Julian to get out of town.

🗽 Million Dollar Listing: New York is back with Ryan’s wedding. Kevin Lee is the wedding planner, so it’s going to be a million dollar wedding as well. The destination is Greece, and Luis manages to cause trouble by being overly helpful. Tonight was only the second episode, and I think Ryan already wishes they could elope.

September 28, 2016 – GH’s Anna is Back Home, Little LA’s Terra Finally Gets in Her Home & AHS/RHPS Tidbits


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna is home! She wants to find out what the hell has been going on.

The scene with Paul, Susan, and the birthday cake is repeated. He tells her that except for Monica Quartermaine, he’s killed them all. He blows out the candles and Susan reacts. He asks her what is it, but it’s probably that she saw Tracy peeking around the door.

Curtis works out at the gym hitting a punching bag. Nothing important, but his hot body is duly noted

Nathan apologizes to Maxie for the crazy situation. She tells him the only crazy is Claudette and he has nothing to apologize for. She mentions how Claudette talked to his mother without a heads up, and Claudette comes out of nowhere and says she thought it was the right thing to do.

Griff welcomes Anna back. They sit down to eat at Kelly’s and talk about Julian. Anna says he’ll never be brought to justice now. Griff says he knew she’d be disappointed, but she says more like angry and confused. She tells him she’s sorry they couldn’t get justice for Duke. Griff says he’s sorry for the loss of Sabrrrina. Anna says the hardest thing was explaining it to Emma. She tells Griff that she’s spent the better part of her life upholding the law and now it’s failed her all over the place.

Paul asks Susan what’s going on. Tracy runs to the elevator and gets in. The door closes. Then it opens back up and Paul is standing there. I make a noise out loud. Tracy smiles.

Nathan tells Maxie to go do her conference call and he’ll talk to Claudette. Claudette tells Nathan that she hasn’t handled things in the best way. She realizes that she wants him to be a real father to their daughter and hopes that he does too.

Anna tells Griff she spoke to Dante about Sabrrrina’s murder. The consensus is that Sabrrrina figured out who attacked Monica and was killed for it. Griff tells her that Monica is going to be okay. He asks about the cufflink, but Anna says nothing yet, and all they have is a picture. She says when she left, they had an airtight case against Julian, so how did everything evaporate, including his confession? Jordan walks in and Anna asks what the hell happened with Julian.

Tracy tells Paul she came to see Susan. She explains how she found out where Susan was. She’s pretty good at this because I would never guess that she’s probably dying inside. She says she’s sad that Paul didn’t feel he could tell her or Dillon about Susan being at the hospital. She says she didn’t mean to invade his privacy. He says he knows how much family means to her and thanks her for caring. He says it’s not a good time to see Susan though. She doesn’t speak but uses sounds and gestures that he can understand, and she signaled she wants to be alone. He says she’s resting, but he’s staying in the area so he can come back later. Tracy apologizes again, saying she realizes it’s a private matter for him. He says now that she’s here, he’d like to talk to her about Susan.

Andre shows up at the gym for some boxing. Curtis says they must have double-booked, but if he wants to use the bag, he can. Andre suggests they spar.

Nathan says he gets the results of the paternity test in a few hours. Claudette has a mini freak-out, wondering how they could get an accurate result so quickly. Suddenly, she has to go. Maxie comes back in. She says Claudette must be desperate to do damage control and she’s been lying to them the entire time. This is a real shock since Claudette has been so truthful up until now.

Griff leaves so Anna can talk to Jordan. His phone rings. It’s Claudette. She says she spoke to Nathan and Maxie, and now she needs to speak to him immediately. She asks him to come to her room at the MetroCourt.

Jordan tells Anna that she didn’t screw up the warrant; she knows she gave the right address. She says she can’t find any sign that someone else got into the system, but that has to be what happened. Anna says Scotty’s ethics are flexible (ha-ha!), but he’s not going to do something that will land him in jail. Anna says whoever did this set Julian free. Well, yeah.

Paul says he needs someone to talk to and asks Tracy to have a quick bite with him at this great steakhouse he knows. He says he’s been feeling overwhelmed, like things are starting to get away from him. He says he didn’t see Sabrrrina’s death coming. He knows he and Tracy aren’t family anymore, but they’re friends. She says absolutely, but she doesn’t want to take away from his Susan time. He reminds her that Susan wants to be alone right now, and asks if there’s some reason she doesn’t want to dine with him. He uses the word “dine.” Who uses that word? Besides Paul.

Griff comes to Claudette’s room. He asks what her frantic call was about. She says there’s a slight possibility that what she told Nathan and Maxie could involve him.

Maxie says Claudette is obviously panicked. Nathan says it’s possible he might not he the father, but is Maxie prepared if he is?

Jordan and Anna go over what happened at the trial. Jordan says Alexis told her that she’d only had one glass of wine, and either she’s lying or everything got to her. She says the testimony was ridiculous and Alexis ended up collapsing into Julian’s arms. Anna says she’s not going to get angry after the fact, but what the blip was Alexis thinking? Jordan says Alexis is only human, and maybe she couldn’t cope with seeing Julian there. Anna says she needs better answers and wants to talk to Paul.

Tracy says she’ll be happy to dine with Paul. They get into the elevator.

Curtis asks Andre if there’s any progress with his killer profile. Andre says he can’t discuss it because Curtis isn’t technically a part of the team. Curtis says he’s been helpful and Jordan is comfortable talking to him. Andre says he’s not, so drop it.

Tracy goes back to Paul’s room. He looks for his wallet, but she says she’s willing to spring for the meal. He says he’s buying, end of story. He goes through his stuff. His phone rings, but he doesn’t answer, saying it’s nothing important. Tracy is clearly nervous.

Anna tells Jordan that Paul isn’t answering. She says maybe he’s laying low because he hates to lose. Jordan asks if she’s going to respect his privacy and Anna says no. Two minutes in the door and she’s on fire already.

Griff tells Claudette the past is the past, let it go. She sputters some nonsense and he tells her to spit it out. She says the night Nathan shot him, she discovered something – she was pregnant.

Maxie says Nathan has never had a problem with Georgie, so why would she have a problem with him having a child? He says if he’s Charlotte’s father, he needs her to be honest about where she stands. She says years ago, she was more like Claudette than she’d like to admit, and would have wanted him to stay away, but now that she’s a mom, she’d never sabotage any relationship with his child. She says if Charlotte is his daughter, she knows he’ll be a committed father and she’ll completely support him.

Claudette tells Griff about Charlotte. She says she’s almost positive Nathan is the father. She says they never used protection, but she and Griff were always careful. Except for the times they weren’t.

Maxie says all of her reservations are about Claudette being a lying liar, not about him being a dad. Nathan says he’s never loved her more. He says Claudette having a child explains a lot, and whether or not Charlotte is his daughter, he wants to make sure she’s safe. Maxie says his first instinct is to protect and it’s one of the reasons she loves him.

Claudette tells Griff that she feels Charlotte is Nathan’s. Griff says calling him is a preemptive strike just in case her daughter isn’t Nathan’s. He asks why she didn’t tell Nathan to begin with. She says she’d just seen him shoot Griff in a drunken rage and didn’t know how he’d react. Griff says that’s no excuse. He asks if there’s something else she’s not telling him. She says Nathan wanted a paternity test and the results are coming in today. Her phone rings. It’s Nathan and the results are in now. He’ll pick up the papers, and he and Maxie will meet her.

Curtis tells Andre that they have more important things to talk about than sparring. He says it’s Andre’s call about discussing the case, but this has nothing to do with the case; he doesn’t want Curtis involved with Jordan. Andre says Curtis has disrupted her life. Curtis says all that’s in the past and obviously Andre is out of the loop. They verbally spar and Curtis tell Andre to go ahead and take a punch.

Anna goes to Paul’s hotel room and sees Olivia, who’s spot checking the rooms. She tells Anna that Paul did the best he could, and Alexis messed things up. She says Julian will never see his son again though. Anna asks if she can leave a note for Paul. Olivia gets a call and has to go, leaving Anna alone in Paul’s room.

Anna opens a drawer – I assume looking for stationery – and takes out a folder. The papers fall out and they’re all articles about the hospital killer.

Paul continues to look for his wallet, and explains how Susan communicates with him. He tells her that Susan can let him know when he should come or go, or if a nurse is at the door. This makes Tracy a little nervous. He finds his wallet in the couch, but says why don’t they order in?

Nathan knocks on Claudette’s door. He and Maxie come in with the results. Nathan says he’s not surprised to see Griff. He opens the envelope.

Jordan asks Curtis why he’s telling Andre to hit him. Curtis replies that it’s a boxing gym. Curtis leaves and Andre calls Curtis Jordan’s boy. He says Curtis was prying into the case, and admits to just not liking him.

Anna thinks the folder is Paul’s research. And then she finds the biggest cufflink I’ve ever seen. Seriously. It’s stupid big. Who is Paul on his off-time? The Jolly Green Giant?

Tracy asks why she’d want room service when Paul has been bragging about the steakhouse. Paul locks the door and says he can’t let her leave.

Next time, Doc and Laura share the same flight, Paul tells Tracy he needs to tie up loose ends, and Anna investigates the giant cufflink further.

Little Women: LA

After having the babies, Elena is concerned about stretch marks and she’s having them burned off. At least that’s what it sounds like. Terra goes with her, and says she seems like she’s in a better mood since her birthday party. Elena is upset that the girls aren’t getting along. We flash back to the Plastic incident at Tonya’s photo shoot and then the fight Tonya had with Christy on the yacht. Elena wants to get to the bottom of why Christy’s personality has changed so much. We see some of the procedure and while they don’t use a torch, it’s some kind of zapper that looks painful. I guess vitamin E wasn’t an option.

Terra wants a drama free night of belly dancing. She’s invited all the girls with the exception of Christy. Can’t say as I blame her. In her interview, Terra says that she wants to be in the best shape possible, so that she’s raring to go for Dancing with the Stars after she has the baby.

Christy is still getting over Elena’s birthday, so she goes to a soap-making class with her mom. She says she’s had it with the girls, and talks about the fight with Tonya. She tells her mom that she exploded at everyone. In her interview, Christy plays the victim. She does regret some of the things she said though, like calling Tonya a Black whore. She says she misses her friendships. Well, quit acting like a d-bag then. Her mom tells her she can’t change the past, but only move forward. Zzzzz….

Matt’s son is visiting from Seattle. Briana loves the family vibe, and Eric is enjoying his baby brother, Maverick. The kids go to play upstairs and Matt says he loves having the kids, but he’s pretty tired. He talks to Briana about the party and “Crusty.” In her interview, Briana says she thinks Christy is pissed off because she and Matt worked things out. She tells Matt that Christy is spreading the story about him and Plastic like it’s new, even though it was six months ago. IMO, that’s still kind of new, but if they’ve decided to let it be in the past, that’s their business. Frankly, I was pretty appalled at Christy’s antics. Briana says Christy has no soul and no respect, and Matt says she’s crazy.

Two masseuses show up at Tonya’s house with flowers. Tonya thinks some wine, chocolate and a foot massage will help her bond with Angelique. She wants their relationship to get back to where it was before Kerwin moved in. Angelique tells Tonya she’s dating. When Tonya asks if she’s committed, Angelique wants a definition of that. Tonya asks how many massages it will cost her to get some real information.

Christy talks to her daughter about getting her driver’s license. She wants Autumn to be extra prepared, since being a dwarf makes it even tougher. She suggests they practice at home. I think she means taking a spin around the block, but Christy sets up a makeshift “car” in the kitchen using a paper plate for a steering wheel. Autumn wonders why they’re doing this. She’s unenthusiastic and tired. Christy thinks in addition to her cyst, Autumn has a thyroid problem and wants to make a doctor’s appointment. Autumn agrees.

Tonya says ever since she had a baby, she’s suffered from thinning hair. She’s approached Jasmine about her issue, since Jasmine is a hair stylist. Jasmine can totally relate because she has the same problem. She likes to make her clients empowered rather than embarrassed and help them take control of their hair.

Tonya tells Jasmine about the evening of belly dancing Terra is planning. Jasmine says she doesn’t have a pet and Terra told her that she usually doesn’t like people who don’t have animals. She says she’d love one, but doesn’t have the time. Tonya says she doesn’t think Terra meant anything bad and to just discuss it with her.

Kerwin and Tonya have been looking for fun things to do on date nights, so they go to a flight simulator place. This is really cool. They put on flight suits and goggles, and sit in a cockpit type thing with huge screens in front of them. It looks like they achieved their goal of having fun.

They talk about Angelique. Tonya tells Kerwin that Angelique is worried that she’ll pass along everything they talk about. She definitely wants him to back off about Angelique’s love life.

Terra and Joe are going back to the house they bought. The one the former owner won’t leave. We flash back to last week when they couldn’t get in. They’re meeting with the seller’s brother-in-law to hopefully get the keys. The guy meets them and says everything is cleared out. He warns them that there’s powder all over the place though, since she was afraid of people breaking in and wanted to get fingerprints. He gives them the keys. Joe says they can deal with a couple of kilos of powder and Terra says she hopes it’s not that kind of powder.

Tonya meets them and they tell her about the powder. In her interview, Tonya calls the seller a crazy heifer and I laugh. Terra is afraid to go in. Joe suggests they paint the walkway yellow and the seller will think their small footprints are from Munchkins.

Terra is nervous, but puts the key in the lock. The door opens and she gasps. Man, I so relate to this, since we had the same problem. Not quite as bad, but when we got here with the moving truck a day after closing, the previous owner was sitting here in a folding chair along with a bunch of her stuff. This was after we’d acquiesced to several things just to get her out on time. And she’s still here twenty years later. Just kidding.

Everything is fine. And it looks pretty clean. Terra is excited because it’s where they’re going to raise their family and she knows she can make it a home. Okay, the tub is covered in powder. Tonya has a lot of connections and is going to hook them up with someone who can make the house little people friendly. Terra is ecstatic. Joe wants to christen the room and Tonya says she’s outta there. Contractor and landscaper to follow.

Elena and Briana go to the park, so the kids can have some fun in the sprinklers. Elena knows what sex her baby is going to be, but she’s not ready to tell us yet. She asks Briana how Matt is dealing with Maverick’s littleness. Briana says things are going well, but she’s still miffed about Tonya’s comment that a little baby would be easier for her. Jasmine says she’s surprised, since Tonya is a mother to an average sized daughter. Briana says her step-son doesn’t look down on her because she’s little, and I think, well, technically, he does. Jasmine talks about Terra saying she normally doesn’t like people who don’t have animals and wonders if she’s being sensitive. Ya think? Briana says she is pregnant. In her interview, Briana thinks Jasmine must be having a girl and has extra estrogen. Since we didn’t actually see the conversation, I’m assuming what Terra meant was that she doesn’t normally like people who don’t have pets, because those people don’t like animals, and it translated wrong.

It’s belly dancing time! In her interview, Terra says the belly dancing will help her crush it on DWTS. Elena says dancing isn’t her thing, even though she does it after a couple of cocktails. Terra asks the instructor if anyone has ever gone into labor during a lesson and she says not yet. This looks like it’s probably good exercise. In her interview, Briana says the dancing makes her feel confident and relaxed, but it might be because Christy isn’t there.

Afterward. Terra thanks everyone for coming and says she’s glad they’re able to enjoy this moment as friends. She asks Jasmine what the stank face is for, and Jasmine says she wonders if they are friends. She tells Terra about how she said she normally doesn’t like people who don’t have animals. Terra says she meant it as a compliment. In her interview, Terra admits she says offensive sh*t all the time, but that wasn’t one of those times. I’m thinking that Tonya didn’t mean for Jasmine to talk to Terra in front of everyone. Elena says this is the most stupid thing she’s ever heard. Jasmine says she felt judged after she thought they were on a good path. It’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard too.

Tonya gets involved and brings up Briana being upset about her saying she hoped Briana’s baby was little. This is how things get out of control. Too much input. Tonya explains her comment, but it’s not going over too well. Instead of clarifying things, it’s only adding fuel to the fire. It’s certainly not mending things with Briana. Briana says both of her children are taller than she is and there’s no problem. Somehow this all leads into Tonya saying that Matt is disrespectful. Elena jumps in and in her interview, Terra wonders how this got to the topic of Briana’s parenting skills. Jasmine says that it was taken the wrong way and Tonya says that’s why she’s explaining it and it’s just her opinion anyway. I can’t help but be distracted by Jasmine’s awesome earrings. She always wears crazy dangling things with feathers and sparkles.

Terra starts to talk and Tonya says she wan’t talking about her. In her interview, Tonya says this is Terra’s fault in the first place. Jasmine and Elena think Terra should apologize, but I’ve forgotten for what at this point.

Next time, Christy’s mom gets a make-over, Christy asks for help in making peace, Joe can’t make Terra’s pre-op appointment, and baby number two arrives.

👻 Re: American Horror Story: Roanoke (?). I guess the theme is a reenactment of The Children of the Blair Witch? I am enjoying it, and happen to like reenactment shows, but none of them is as professional as this looks.

💋 I’m looking forward to FOX’s interpretation of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on October 20. Check out my archives for my post on how I started the RHPS cult. Don’t believe me? Take a look at Sal Piro‘s book Creatures of the Night. I’m on page 5 (I think). A friend of mine and I were the first ones to throw confetti. The one thing all the retrospective RHPS tales leave out is how high everyone was. The idea was that if we threw confetti from the balcony at the same time they did in the movie, the people below us would think they were in the movie. Does that sound like straight thinking to you? While times have changed and there’s no going home to the spontaneity again, I look back on that time fondly. I do have to admit I thought it was a phase that wouldn’t last, but it’s a pleasant surprise to see that there are new Frankie fans even in 2016.


September 27, 2016 – GH’s Morgan is a Cheat, ILYIW’s Julius is Back on the Street & a Below Deck Guest Doesn’t Like to Eat


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy tells Dillon it might help Paul if he could see his daughter. Dillon can’t believe after all Paul has done, Tracy wants to help him. Paul strolls into the house, uninvited, saying he comes in peace. Does no one lock their doors in Port Charles? He thanks Tracy for being understanding, and she says she realizes it’s about Susan.

Morgan tries to work on his paper, but he can’t think. He reminds me of Jefferson in 1776, trying to write the Declaration while his mind is on his wife. Kiki comes by and asks if he’s almost done.

Franco has to meet with his accountant and tells Elizabeth he’ll see her later. He’s really visiting Heather.

Elizabeth’s doorbell rings. It’s her sister, aka Hayden. She asks if Elizabeth is disappointed that she’s not in prison.

Julian tells Alexis he’s surprised she didn’t change the locks. She says she didn’t think he’d have the audacity to just walk in. Why not? He tries to talk to her, but she tells him the law is on her side. She says he tried to kill her once before and she won’t think twice about killing him now. Okay, I just have to say this. The least he could have done after letting himself in, is not leave the door wide open.

Morgan says he got lucky. The professor had a personal issue and gave an extension.

Elizabeth invites Hayden in, saying she’s glad she’s free. She says she didn’t know all the facts and once she found out everything, it was too late. Does she even realize how bad that makes her sound? Hayden explains about her mother taking the rap for her. Elizabeth apologizes and says she didn’t mean to make all this trouble. She hopes they can move forward. She tells Hayden about her other sister, Sarah, and that she lives in CA, and how she hardly gets to see her. She says maybe she and Hayden could figure out a way to be sisters. Hayden says she’s not there for a reunion, but to give her something. She hands Elizabeth a paper.

Heather talks about Franco forcing her to tell him that Hayden and Elizabeth are sisters, and now her income stream is destroyed. She says the Bank of Heather is closed. Franco says he had to tell them because of the GH killer.

Tracy says it’s only natural after what happened that Paul would think of his own child and how easy it is to lose someone you love. Paul makes up stuff about why Sabrrrina’s death hit him hard and says the best way to handle it is to stay on top of the case. He wonders about Dante’s lead and wants to interview Monica himself.

Alexis tells Julian to get out. He says he understands why she feels the way she does, and says he never would have killed her because he loves her. He says no matter how much she betrayed him, he never wanted to scare her like that. But you are, Blanche! You are in that chair. Sorry. Alexis isn’t having any, so Julian says he’ll be going now. He wants to give her something before he leaves. It must be gifting day.

Elizabeth opens Hayden’s attorney bill. Hayden says she’s a widow with no spousal support and her only back-up was the diamonds. She says she needs to save her mother and the least Elizabeth can do is provide the funds.

Franco explains to Heather about the blood transfusion and how he was forced to tell the secret. He says he’s going through a financial crisis himself and he needs her to go back to her nest egg. For some reason, Heather thinks Franco pushed Elizabeth down the stairs.

Tracy says Monica’s doctors were specific and Monica needs rest. Tracy says the only thing Monica remembers is the killer’s cologne, and that she’s smelled it in the house. Paul says he’ll be going now, and Tracy asks him to consider talking to Susan. He says he’ll think about it. As soon as Paul is gone, Tracy tells Dillon they have to find Susan.

Kiki wants to read Morgan’s paper. He asks if she doesn’t trust him. She says she just wants to help, and he asks her if she thinks he’s going to fail.

Julian gives Alexis the signed divorce papers. She says to put them on the table. He asks what exactly happened at the trial and why she blew her testimony. He says she knew what the jury wanted to hear, but she couldn’t get a coherent word out. He asks if it was because of him, and she tells him it was because of having to look at his stupid face. He asks if she did it on purpose to save him.

Elizabeth tells Hayden that she lives paycheck to paycheck. Hayden suggests they call Jeff together, and maybe he can help her.

Franco tells Heather he’d never hurt Elizabeth and wonders how she could think that. She tells him to admit that removing the tumor didn’t change anything. He says he didn’t kill anyone.

Kiki says she’s concerned that Morgan is putting too much pressure on himself. He says everyone has stress and it’s how you manage it that counts. She apologizes for hovering and he says don’t apologize for caring. He wants her to be proud of him. She says she is.

Dillon thinks calling Susan is a bad idea, but Tracy tells him to just encourage her to call. He says maybe she’s right and that after the trial, Paul was pretty dejected. Tracy has the number for Susan’s store in the phone and tells him to push call. He gets voicemail.

Paul goes to a hospital bearing flowers and a gift. He gives the nurse some candy and she tells him that Susan is waiting. He goes into her room. Susan seems pretty out of it. He tells her hello.

Morgan tells Kiki he’s on the last paragraph. She says they’ll celebrate later by eating something fried and delicious. She leaves and Morgan checks the spyder-finder search engine for where to buy a paper. He takes out his credit card.

Heather says she understands everything about Franco and he tells her she’s way off base. She says you need conflict to create and he should let the darkness inside of him out. He says he was exonerated and he’s completely innocent. She says she was so sure he did it.

Hayden says it’s time to let Jeff know she’s his daughter. Elizabeth says he does humanitarian work and doesn’t have money. She says Hayden chose to chase money more than anything else, and it’s time for her to get a job. Hayden says she had a job at ELQ, but Tracy got rid of her, and since she was raised by Raymond Berlin, no one will ever hire her again.

Tracy answers Dillon’s phone thinking it might be Susan. She finds out Susan sold the shop and she asks if there’s a forwarding address. She writes something down. She says she knows that place and wonders how Susan ended up there.

Paul puts the flowers in water and takes a trip down Memory Lane. There’s no response from Susan who just hugs her pillow. He says he got her something else. He tells her that he didn’t succeed in getting her all the presents he wanted to, but managed to get most of them. Susan runs to her bed and hugs her knees.

Alexis tells Julian what a twit he is. He says her subconscious wouldn’t let her help convict him. She says she hates him with every fiber in her being, and there was nothing in her subconscious that was otherwise. Julian says she wants to believe she hates him, but he believes what happened in the courtroom was fate. He says the way they loved each other doesn’t just stop. He says in order for him to keep going, he needs to trust they’ll be together again. She tells him to do what he has to and she’ll do what she has to. She calls the police. She wants the paperwork for a restraining order and wants Julian to never be near her.

Kiki returns. Morgan says he’s done with his paper. She tells him that she got them tickets to see Hypothermia. He says the tickets are sold out and expensive, and that he doesn’t deserve her. She says it’s for both of them because she loves the band and they need a night of fun. He says she doesn’t understand, but then Dillon interrupts. Kiki tells Dillon about Morgan going back to school and just having done his first paper. Dillon asks if the college is still using a website called When Morgan says they are, he says it’s to find out if the students are cheating.

Hayden sees that Elizabeth has a private nurse and says she thought Elizabeth was destitute. Elizabeth tells her that Franco paid for it and if Hayden ever needs a blood transfusion, she’ll give blood and they’ll be even. She suggests that Hayden find a rich man like her mother did, and sister or not, she has nothing but contempt for people like her. Hayden walks out. That was pretty nasty. This is why I don’t like Elizabeth. She’s no saint from like, five minutes ago, yet she looks down her nose at her sister, who is obviously desperate.

Franco tells Heather it hurts his feeling that she’d think he was the killer. She asks if he blames her, considering his past. She says she loves him and wants the best for him and he needs to be his own man. She says he can paint full time now and take the setback as an opporunity to make her feel proud of everything she’s sacrificed.

Paul says he didn’t mean to scare Susan. It breaks his heart that he can’t hold her hand or touch her. He says he doesn’t know why shes like this, but when she sees what he’s given her, it might help her find her way back. He made a lsit of the people who hurt her, starting with Kyle Sloane, Dr. Mays who mishandled her rape kit, and the rest. (Here on Gilligan’s Isle!) He lists the people he’s killed and says they’re all gone. He got rid of them and the world is safe, so she can come back. It’s time.

Alexis finishes her call and asks Julian why he’s still there. He says no matter how much distance she puts between them, they’ll always have Paris be connected. He tells her good-by – for now. Moron. He leaves and Alexis can’t drink her wine fast enough.

Franco asks Elizabeth how her alone time was. She tells him Hayden came by, but all she wanted was a hand out. She says she doesn’t know what she’d do without him. She wants to take a nap, so he helps her up. She asks why he’s going so far out of his way for her. He says he’d do anything for her, even being a better person who deserves to be with her. Bleh.

Kiki tells Dillon she never heard of the website. He says once paper is turned it, it goes through databases to see if anything was copied or if the student bought the paper. Uh-oh, Morgan.

Hayden looks for jobs.

Franco tries to get his credit card limit raised.

Paul lights the candles on Susan’s cake. He says whatever she desires, blow out candles and he’ll make it happen. He asks her to come back, saying he got rid of them all for her, that justice has been served, and no one will come after her again. She sits and just stares ahead. He begs her to come back and starts to cry. He blows out the candles himself.

Tracy is outside the door and she’s overheard.

That was a really nice scene. That’s what soap opera is all about.

Tomorrow, Claudette needs to talk to Griff (what else is new?), Anna is back, and Maxie tells Nathan that Claudette has been lying the whole time (that’s not new either).

If Loving You is Wrong

No doubt Louise is dead, since everyone keeps wandering around instead of helping her, and the police are taking their sweet time getting there.

Kelly sees a body that’s not moving in Randal’s house. Esperanza tells her to check for a pulse. Kelly wonders if the person is still in the house, but Esperanza says Alex was already there and said they’d left. Kelly is like, how does she know that? and I’m with her. It’s not like she checked upstairs. I can’t believe a 911 operator would try to get a civilian involved like this.

Kelly checks on the kids. She tells Esperanza she feels sick and wonders what’s taking the police so long. She hears sirens, but only sees that idiot, Travis, outside. Don’t tell me he’s going to get arrested for this. I’d laugh my head off. The police finally pull up. They approach the house, which is dark all of a sudden. Um…the lights were on two minutes ago. Continuity, people! Yep, looks like Louise is dead. No, wait, there’s a pulse. The EMTs get her into the ambulance.

Steven goes next door to talk to Kelly. He asks what she saw. She says she didn’t see anything, and that Esperanza had called her to check on things. She asks if Louise is going to be okay and Steven says, hopefully. He asks if she went into the house or stepped in the blood. She says no, but he asks to take a photo of her shoe just in case. He acts all concerned about her welfare, but Kelly says she’s just shaken up. He asks if she heard anything, but she says no. He asks how she knew Louise, and Kelly says they just met once or twice and asks again if she’s going to be okay.

Steven asks if she knows Brad. She says yes and tells him which house is Brad’s. He says he has reason to believe Brad is involved and Kelly is like, no way. Steven says way; Louise whispered that he did this. She tells him that Brad moved, and he asks if she would call him. Right now. She dials the phone. Do we still call it dialing?

Joey is wheeled into the ER. Natalie is right behind him and a nurse steers her to paperwork. They ask if he has insurance and she says no. The clerk tells her she’ll be right back. Lushion comes in and tells Natalie it’s going to be okay. She says they won’t give Joey good care, and tells him about the insurance question. Lushion goes with her to talk to the nurse, who says they’ll know something shortly. Natalie asks why the clerk stopped taking her information. The nurse says Joey can’t leave until he’s stabilized. Lushion asks if he’s going to be taken to a county hospital and she says it’s been known to happen. Lushion tells her that they can pay. Natalie is beside herself, but he tells her again that it will be okay.

Julius asks Ben about his hand. He asks if it hurts. He wants more information, which puzzles me. Ben says he hates Andrew. Julius asks if he wants to kill him or at least shoot his fingers off. Julius says he thinks he should and he can. Ben asks how, and Julius says they should hang out; he could use a man in blue. Ben says if Eddie finds out… but Julius stops him. He says Eddie is a street dog, but Ben can be prime and work for him. He says they’ll talk later, but for now he needs to prove his loyalty. He tells Ben to give him his phone and he’ll put his number in for Ben to call later. He tells Ben to keep under the radar.

Eddie comes into the station and asks Esperanza what she’s doing there. She says working. He asks about his daughter and she says she’s the primary care giver, so don’t worry about it. He tells her to get her primary ass home. Esperanza says she’s at Kelly’s and Eddie makes a racist comment. She says he doesn’t get to talk to her about night shift or anything else anymore. She tells him his days are numbered and she needs to make sure she’s good when he goes down. He asks if that’s an invitation. Ew! She tells him he disgusts her. He says maybe, but she always comes back. She gets up and he grabs her arm. She tells him not to touch her and smacks him. She asks where his girlfriend, Claudia, is. She asks him to leave. He says he knows what she’s worried about and Joey will be fine. She says first Alex now this. He asks what happened and she tells him to look at the board.

Kelly’s ex calls. Um…he’s calling from prison. The call doesn’t just connect. Oh, his mother has set up a three-way call. He asks how Kelly is doing. His mother says Kelly doesn’t want to talk to him and he says she will if his mother lets her. Kelly says she’s there and his mother berates her for not visiting. The ex says she’s been raising his son and his mother gripes about not seeing him. His mother says Kelly is fine because he’s locked up for something she did. He tells Kelly he’ll call her back and his mother says he’s a damn fool because she’s not going to answer.

She answers. But then she hangs up.

Eddie asks Ben how things are going. Julius asks Eddie wazzup. Eddie asks what he’s doing there. Julius says one of his rookies arrested him for drunk driving and points out Andrew. Eddie lets him out of the cell because they’re as lax as they are on GH. Andrew says Julius needs to take a breathalyzer. Ben tells him to get lost and Andrew says he’s reporting this to the captain. Ben says he’s signing his death warrant. Julius asks what happened to Ben’s hand and says the job has many hazards. What the blip is with Julius’s obsession with Ben’s hand?

Julius asks Eddie about his plan. He says, one down, two to go. He tells Julius that Quan is down, but Julius says he wasn’t on the list. Eddie says he got caught in a drive-by. Julius asks about Claudia. Eddie says he’s working on it. Julius says he had some Cubans in the car when he was arrested. Feel free to make your own joke here. Eddie asks Andrew about it and Andrew says it’s contraband. Eddie says go get them. When he returns, Julius says he doesn’t like Andrew and gives Eddie a cigar. He tells Andrew to keep doing things by the book and leaves. Andrew stares at Eddie who asks Ben where his damn coffee is.

It’s Randal in a box! He says he can’t breath. Something gets poured on him and he starts yelling no, no, no, no, no. Is it gasoline?

Ben sees Julius outside. He’s waiting for his car to come out of impound. Julius offers Ben a cigar. Julius tells him to enjoy it and says he works too hard. Ben says he admires Julius and that his father is a legend. Ben offers his condolences. Julius says thanks, but it’s his turn now, and he’s doing things differently. Ben asks why here in Maxine? He says it’s such a small town; he’d be in Miami. Julius says maybe they should go. Ben says he’ll do anything for Julius. Julius says when his car gets there, they should go for a ride. Ben says he’s still on duty, but Julius offers him some pure Colombian. I wonder if they’re talking about weed or coke, but Ben is so excited, I assume the latter. Julius says he owes him one. Ben says he can’t leave though, because Eddie is watching. Julius says Ben has his number. Yeah, me too.

Alex drives around crying and trying to use her phone. She calls her mother. She asks where her baby is. She says she knows that her mother took him. She  saw her in the truck and her mother acts ignorant, saying she doesn’t know what Alex is talking about. Alex says she’ll call the police, and her mother asks if she’s drunk. Alex begs her mother not to do this. Her mother says if someone took her bastard maybe it’s for the best. Her mother acts like the phone is going out and hangs up.

Brad tells Marcie she’s playing hard-to-get. She asks if his phone was ringing, but he says it’s no one he wants to talk to. She asks if he’s been drinking, and he says not as much as he’d like. He tries to kiss her and she tells him to back up. He asks her to sit and talk. He asks if you can love someone too much, and she says it depends on the person. You can’t love someone too much who loves you the same way. He says every day he feels fine and then something reminds him of Alex and he feels the pain. He wants it to be done. It makes him feel stupid and sad. He says usually he can detach emotion from the relationship. Marcie asks what changed, and he says a girl named Alex. He says they have two kids together and he’ll have to see her. Marcie says to give it time. Her phone rings, but she doesn’t answer. She says a phone ringing late at night is never good news.

Marcie tells Brad that it’s Kelly and he says she’s been calling him too. Marcie answers and Kelly asks if she knows where Brad is. Marcie says no. Kelly tells her the police are there. She says that the baby is missing, Randal is gone, and Louise is hurt and told the police Brad did it. The police want to talk to him. Marcie says she doesn’t know where he is. Steven wants to talk to Marcie.

Steven asks Marcie if she knows where Brad is. He says he’s heard they share an apartment. She wants to get off the phone and he tells her her life could be in danger. She says she’ll call him back. He asks if Brad is there and that’s why she can’t talk. She says thank you and hangs up. Steven asks Kelly if she knows where they live. She doesn’t say anything, so he asks for a trace on the cell phone. He thanks Kelly and goes back to the car. Kelly has a headache.

Marcie says the mud on Brad’s boots is red and does he want to tell her what’s going on. He grabs her by the throat and I gasp out loud. I was not expecting that.

Next time, Lushion tells Esperanza about the shootout, Eddie threatens Ben, Travis screeches at Kelly, and Alex gets in an accident.

Below Deck

Ben tells Trevor he’s sh*tfaced. Trevor calls him a jackass and insults everyone. The crew heads back to the bus or trolley car or whatever it is, and Trevor continues to act idiotic. Kelley tells him to settle down and Trevor says he has a PTSD Marine for a bosun. Trevor jumps out of the car, wanting to fight Nico, and everyone tries to get him to calm down. Kelley says he can stay at a hotel room tonight, but Trevor says he doesn’t give a flying and continues to insult the Marine Corps. Ben tells Kelley that Trevor is a wanker and it has nothing to do with him.

The next morning, everyone either has a headache or is still half-drunk. Captain Lee is looking for his radio and Kate suggests he use Trevor’s since he’s not on the boat. Kate invites the captain to have cereal and talk. She fills him in a little, but says it’s best if Kelley tells him how things ended. He radios Kelley to come to the wheelhouse.

The captain asks for a synopsis. Kelley says Trevor got wasted, hassled Ben, and on the way back, spoiled for a fight. The captain wants to get everyone’s take on it. Lauren is next. He asks about her eventful evening. We see everyone talking to the captain and they all say the same thing. Trevor was a drunken idiot. The captain says he’ll deal with it in one way or another.

Ben asks Kate if Trevor should be fired. She says yes, because he doesn’t learn, but Ben thinks he should have another chance.

Trevor gets back and Kelley tells him to talk to the captain. He tells Captain Lee that everything was fine until the bus, and then the crew made fun of him for being a hair model. The look on the captain’s face is priceless. Trevor says he’s still in the learning process and he needs guidance in how to talk to people without coming off brash. Um… stop talking altogether? The captain calls Kelley in. In his interview, the captain says once is an accident, twice is a pattern, and he believes there will be a third time. He can’t afford to babysit, and thinks this isn’t the place for Trevor. He says says Trevor can leave nice and make apologies if he needs to. In his interview, Trevor asks where his apology is. Ben says it’s tough to be forgiven twice in the yachting profession. Nico thanks God. Trevor says it will be tough to replace him. Kate says we all have to hit rock bottom before we can make good life changes. Well, some of us apparently.

Trevor apologizes to Kelley and Ben, but not to Nico. Nico says he doesn’t know whether Trevor was embarrassed or just being a d*ck. I vote for the latter. Kelley tells the captain he feels like he failed a little, but it will be smoother without Trevor. Nico is happy to get the top bunk back. Sierra says Trevor never did anything to her, but there was definitely a negative vibe on the boat.

It’s time to go over the new charter guests. A group of entrepreneurs and something about an internet company. They want to explore and have a beach bar. The captain points out that one of the guests likes to eat nothing but air. No meat, dairy, gluten, fat, wheat, seafood (except for fish – I don’t know what that means) and no food whatsoever. The guests want a formal dinner on the first night with a 12-course tasting menu. Ben is thrilled. Nico says he’s already looking forward to them leaving.

Kate video chats with her girlfriend, Ro. The wifi is so inferior, she’s thinking of wrapping a coat hanger in tin foil. Google it if you’re too young to understand the reference.

Sierra tells Kate that she used to have a juicing business, but she ran out of money and turned to yachting. She wants to go back to it eventually though. She offers to help Ben with the menu. He says she and the guest are a match made in gluten-free heaven. She does a tricep workout with some cans.

Trevor gives instructions to the deckhands and tells Nico the hot tub has to be drained.

Sierra has a problem with the juicer. Kelley points out that it’s not plugged in. I think there was a reason she couldn’t make money with her juicing business.

The guests arrive. Kate gives the boat tour. She says she’s getting a strange vibe, and they’re like something from a D-list Tarantino picture. The captain says the boat is under-powered, the wind is going in one direction, and the tide in another. Not the best conditions. Somehow, they still manage to get away from the dock.

Uh-oh. The hot tub is awfully full. Bald guy guest says they’re making more money just sitting around than most people make in a year, and I hope it overflows onto his bald head. Ben gets lunch ready so he can prepare for dinner. Bald guy suggests he’ll hook up with Emily if his wife dies. Kate thinks she’ll probably commit suicide being married to him. There goes the hot tub.

Nico sees water coming from everywhere. Sierra makes lemonade that Ben thinks is awful. He hopes her culinary skills are better than her juicing skills. Only if she turns the appliances on. Nico calls Kelley to help with the hot tub. He says if it had to happen, it’s the best time since the guests are eating.

The captain tells Kelley to break out every toy they have. The deckhands pull out the inflatable stuff and the pool. I don’t get the pool thing. It’s basically a huge fish net that you swim in. The idea is that no sea life touches you. I would think part of it would be swimming with the fishes. Captain Lee jokes about how much hair bald guy has on his back. Sierra asks what to expect from a 12-course meal and Ben says, chaos. Kate says it might cause her to cry. Ben suggests a salad for the gluten free Carolina. Kate is concerned that Sierra helping Ben is like sending a bunny into a lion’s den.

Dinner time. They do the table setting with those glass stones again and I love it. Ben says he needs someone who can distinguish clear thoughts in a short amount of time. I predict Sierra is going to have a problem with that. These people seem a like a bunch of weirdos. Ben looks like the Karate Kid in his black outfit and headband.

Nico and Kelley talk about the girls. They think Sierra is pretty, but perhaps has a screw loose. Back in the kitchen Sierra still needs to get the salad together. OMG – the caviar whatever-it-is looks fabulous. Sierra says she’s thick-skinned, but needs positivity. The primary’s daughter is with them and he talks inappropriately in front of her. Gluten Free is still waiting for her salad and Ben wonders wtf? He says Sierra has two courses and all she’s doing is making the world’s biggest salad. Gluten Free doesn’t like that since she doesn’t eat anything, she’s missing out on the courses. Sierra goes back to the kitchen and tells Ben to make a conch course for Gluten Free. Oh Lord, they’re only on the third course.

Sierra sears (ha-ha!) the tuna. Ben says it has to be as aesthetically pleasing as the raw tuna and he’s about to give up. Ben tells Sierra the tuna is f*cked and he doesn’t want to serve it. She gets all bummed. Gluten Free doesn’t like raw fish. There is nothing not to like about this tuna. Fat dude is sleepy. Sierra starts to get clumsy in the kitchen. Ben tells Kate she’s making Sierra nervous. Gluten Free claims to not be picky and tries the calamari. Isn’t that seafood??? No one knows what course they’re on at this point. Bald guy picks his nose. I don’t like lamb, but I would eat the dish Ben made anyway.

Trevor says he’s thrown off some hints to Emily that he’s interested, but is getting weird signals back.

The final course is some kind of dessert that I’m sure tastes wonderful. Mmmm…I love spun sugar. By midnight, it’s over. Sierra is all weepy and wants to go home. Kate takes a picture of whatever guests are left with Ben. She thinks it’s genius to have such a long meal, since the guests are ready to go to bed afterward. Kate and Ben tell Sierra that nothing was her fault and not to stress. In his interview, Ben says in the old days you got dishes thrown at you or saucepan to the back of the head, but now he can’t even yell at someone. He says if you’re sensitive, you should stay out of the kitchen. Has Gordon Ramsey taught us nothing?

Next time, Sierra breaks down, a new deckhand arrives, and Nico comes on to Emily.

September 26, 2016 – GH’s Paul Confesses & the OC’s Kelly Stresses


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sam startles Alexis. They were supposed to meet for lunch, but Alexis didn’t show. She also didn’t go to Sabrrrina’s funeral. Sam says she looks like hell and wonders what’s going on.

Morgan tells Kiki he decided not to go to the funeral. He didn’t trust himself not to lose it again if Joe showed up.

Sonny and Jason talk over coffee. Sonny says whoever took Sabrrrina’s life needs to pay. Jason tells him it’s not his world. This is a serial killer and a different realm. Sonny says Julian will never pay for ordering the hit on Duke and tells Jason that Julian is coming after him.

Paul tells Tracy he killed her. He’s the reason Sabrrrina is dead. Well, I guess I might as well turn this off now. Tracy thinks he’s acting selfishly. She says he feels responsible so he’s making it all about him. No! I should have known this wasn’t going to get wrapped up in a neat little bow so quickly.

Michael comes home to Nell holding a box of family photos. She’s set up a memorial page online for Sabrrrina. She shows Michael that people have already started to post. She knows it doesn’t do anything to assuage the actual grief though, because she’s been there.

Julian acts like a complete a-hole, sitting in Nina’s chair when she comes in. He wants permission to take back what’s his, including the magazine. Nina says she was running things long before he tried to kill his wife – allegedly. She says their agreement hasn’t changed and he says he’s not there to break it. He wants her to clear his name.

Sam says Alexis is in the same clothes as yesterday and she obviously just woke up. She says it’s not the first time she’s seen Alexis like that. She’s hungover and it’s becoming a pattern. Alexis says she’s fine, but Sam counts the wine bottles and says no she isn’t.

Morgan says he doesn’t want to add to Michael’s stress. Kiki says he made a good decision, especially because of Teddy bringing back the old custody issues. Morgan says he has a paper due. Kiki suggests an extension, but he says he’s got this. He leaves and Kiki literally runs into Dillon again.

Paul says Sabrrrina wasn’t’ supposed to be hurt this way. Tracy says she blames the police department and everyone blamed themselves, but the only person to blame is the killer.

Sam is concerned about Alexis’s pattern. Alexis says she’s right, this isn’t her, it’s the new her. She needs Sam to back off so she can figure out how to cope. She tells Sam that it’s temporary. She’s about to start work again.

Nina says Julian was exonerated. He says not guilty does’t change the court of public opinion. He wants to be on the cover of the magazine and give an exclusive with his side of the story. He says she’ll boost circulation and he can defend himself. She says she passes.

Jason says Julian just got acquitted yesterday. Sonny says he was celebrating with Ava already. He tells Jason about meeting Julian, and that Julian told him to watch Morgan because he’s getting into trouble he can’t handle. When Sonny asked if Julian was threatening Morgan, Julian said he’s coming after him. He’s going down, but his death won’t be tied to Julian. Jason asks if Carly knows and Sonny says she was there, but she wants him to leave it alone.

Kiki tells Dillon at least she wasn’t carrying coffee this time. Dillon asks about Morgan and Kiki explains why he didn’t go to the funeral. Dillon says there was a little altercation at the house.

Nell tells Michael that she lost her best friend in high school. She was killed because she got in a car with a drunk driver. One minute they were hanging out, and the next she was gone. Nell says she knows how much the page helped her friend’s parents, but they eventually took the page down. With it went all the memories they’d shared, and she felt the loss all over again. She knew the last thing on Michael’s mind would be old photos. Nell tells him that one day he’ll want to look at the memories and she wanted him to have what she didn’t get.

Tracy says Paul isn’t helping anyone. He says she’s right, and Sabrrrina was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Tracy says she’s never seen him like this. He’s usually emotionless, focused and unflappable. He says it’s hitting close to home and asks to be alone.

Alexis shows Sam a list of law firms. She says she can do consults until she gets her license back. She swears she won’t get drunk again. She says since Sam can’t drink because she’s pregnant, she won’t drink with her.

Nina says Julian isn’t going to be the next Crimson cover girl. She says he wants to use her magazine as a PR outreach and to get back his wife and children. In the meantime, her magazine loses credibility and advertisers. Julian says he was asking out of politeness and now he’s demanding. He owns the magazine and he’s telling her to run the piece. She tells him to have his lawyers give him the definition of autonomy. Nina refuses to run a puff piece on a man who crossed the line with domestic abuse. He urges her to play ball or regret it. She asks if he’s threatening her, and he says he sure is. Julian is the worst.

Jason says he can’t get involved and Sonny should just wait and see what happens. Jason says Julian talks a lot, but doesn’t carry out anything. He had Carrrlos carry out his dirty work and then killed him. He says Julian is a coward and too afraid to make a move against Sonny. Sonny asks if Jason would bet his life, and Jason says he thinks Julian will make a mistake that backfires.

Sonny says he can’t promise how he’ll handle things, and Jason says sorry he can’t help. Sonny sees Morgan working on his laptop. He asks why Morgan didn’t go to the funeral. Morgan says he ran it past Michael and he was fine with it. He says he’s working on a paper right now. Sonny says he has a lot going on, and he doesn’t want Morgan to burn himself out. Morgan says he appreciates Sonny worrying about him, but there are others who need his worrying more.

Kiki tells Dillon that she and Michael have some old stuff, so she thought it best to stay away. She tells Dillon about how she and Morgan tried to make Michael seem incompetent to he’d lose custody of Avery, and Sabrrrina saved the day. She says the perfect Kiki doesn’t exist. Dillon says perfect is boring and he thinks Michael might appreciate her reaching out to him.

Michael thanks Nell for telling him about her friend. She says as someone who’s experienced loss, it helps to share it. He asks if she went into the nursery when she was collecting photos. She says no, and Michael tells her there are pictures that Teddy might want to see one day. She leaves to get them. The doorbell rings. It’s Sonny.

Alexis tells Sam not to worry and just take care of the baby. She asks to reschedule lunch, because she wants to clean herself up and look for a job. Sam leaves and Alexis immediately chugs a bottle of wine. Not really, but she thinks about it.

Alexis stares at the wine glass and then looks at a picture of her and Sam. She makes a bunch of phone calls, but none of them pan out. When she’s done she says the hell with the shower, she feels like a bath, and brings the wine with her.

Julian says Nina has skeletons in her closet too. He says she wants to move on with her life and certain people are preventing that. He threatens her with budget cuts. She says she has proof he tried to sabotage the magazine. If he wants to reach out to Alexis or the other people he’s destroyed, he’ll do it without her and the magazine’s help. He says working with her again will be interesting.

Sam meets Jason. She says she can tell he’s worried. Jason says her father threatened Sonny and threatening him usually doesn’t end well. Sam doesn’t care what happens to Julian, but asks if Jason is getting involved.

Sonny tells Michael that they always take for granted that he doesn’t need any help, but he knows Michael is hurting and wants him to know he’s not alone. He says sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you care about is to just show up. They hug.

Paul talks to Sabrrrina’s picture. He apologizes and says he hopes it brings her spirit peace that she didn’t die in vain. This is after a couple of people talked to Steve Hardy’s picture last week. Pretty soon, in an effort to save money, they can cut the cast in half and use pictures f0r the other half.

Tracy tells Dillon that as much as funerals are a celebration of life, they’re really a downer for everyone. She tells him that Paul is devastated by Sabrrrina’s death. She says she’s never seen Paul like that and he’s in a bad place. Dillon tells her about how shaken up Paul was when he told him about her murder, like it was personal even though they didn’t know each other that well. Tracy says, OMG, she knows what it is. I’ll bet not. I’ll bet this is just another carrot on a stick.

Morgan peruses his phone. Morgan stares at his laptop. Morgan takes a break.

Kiki sends a message to Michael, thanking him for taking care of her sister.

Tracy thinks Paul feels guilty about the distance between him and Susan, and that Sabrrrina’s death exacerbated that guilt. She suggests that Dillon reach out to her. Dillon says he’ll try. Tracy tells him to ask her to come to Port Charles. She says maybe Paul seeing his daughter is just what he needs.

Paul calls Susan. He leaves a message that her father called, that it will be okay and he’s handling everything. Not too well though.

Nell walks in on Sonny and Michael’s hug. Michael says he’ll be right back and Nell apologizes to Sonny for her bad timing. She compliments him on what good dad he is, and says his kids are lucky to ahve him in their lives. I’d agree with that.

Sam asks Jason if Sonny is going to take action. She says she sees what Julian has done, but doesn’t want his blood on either of their hands. Jason says if Julian keeps pushing, Sonny will have to defend himself.

Drunk Alexis comes downstairs. Her front door is open. Julian is in the living room.

Tomorrow, Alexis complains to Julian, Hayden thinks she and Elizabeth should call Jff together, and Tracy wants to find Susan.

The Real Housewives of the OC

The Beadors find a rental property. Shannon complains about the stove, the floors, and the horrible feng shui. Kelly also lives within walking distance. Shannon says she knows where to go for a cup of tequila. In her interview, Shannon says that David’s mother and sister wanted him to leave her for the woman he had the affair with. Shannon definitely has some issues, but considering the mother complained to total strangers about the whole thing, I’m guessing she must be a real pita.

Eddie and Tamra go out to lunch at a sushi place. It’s five weeks until her competition and Tamra is concerned about the carbs in the sake. Tamra says Eddie and Simon are like night and day. Eddie is supportive no matter what, while Simon was a controlling twit. They talk about how Shannon can go off like a rocket.

Kelly’s husband opens a beer bottle with his teeth. He’s doing some renovation work on the house, but in her interview, she says he does it half-assed. She asks him if their relationship is any better now that he’s retired. She says they’re both control freaks, but Michael insists he isn’t. In her interview, she explains that she’d filed for divorce because she felt like she was being suffocated. Michael says they’re dealing with trying to repair things while dealing with the baggage of the divorce where they were separated for 2½ years. Kelly says she can’t talk to him because he gets upset with everything. She tells him if he just says yes to everything, it will all go a lot more smoothly.

Vicki and son Michael are building an insurance policy behind a charity called Kill All Cancer. It’s a policy so that if someone should get cancer, they can get back on their feet again. It sounds kind of like Aflac. Vicki is going to do some TV ads. We see one she’s done for her insurance company and it makes me think of a funeral home ad. In her interview, Vicki talks about how she got dragged through the mud last year, with Brooks lying about having cancer, and explains the whole Brooks thing to the guys in charge of the charity. The publicity guy says she can have haters, but if she continuously does the next right thing, she should come out on top. I’m not sure if this is actually a charitable act or Vicki is trying to save her reputation.

Meghan checks out the space she and Jim got for their candle making business. Since it’s relatively big, they’re also including other products. She says opening the store is a perfect distraction for her until her next pre-natal appointment where she’ll find out if she’s having twins. I always like to buy a store when I need a distraction.

Kelly and her mother, Bobbi, talk. Her mother talks about how she stuck her marriage out for the kids. Kelly says the two years she and Michael were separated, it was hard for her daughter to bounce back and forth. She tells her mother about what happened with Tamra and how she’s estranged from her daughter now. She wonders what’s better, to stay married and see your kids every day, or end up like Tamra. I’m assuming by the conversation, things aren’t going well with the marriage.

Shannon whines about packing and unpacking. They have to be out in 30 minutes and she’s still getting it together. She says she can’t open another cupboard and find something else. In her interview, she says there have been amazing memories in the house, and we flash back to some of them. And some bad ones. She says there’s a huge piece of her in the house and it’s sad. She’s giving her fourth baby up for adoption. Everyone says good-by to the house.

Tamra has set up a spa day for some of the girls. Vicki arrives first. She just wants to whoop it up and forget about last year. Heather is next. She’s happy for no helmets and safety equipment, only champagne. Kelly rounds out the quartet. They all get in a mud bath and Tamra talks about how David’s mom acted at the kids’ gig. Vicki tells them about how his mother wanted him to stay with his mistress and would invite her to family dinners. Heather adds that the mistress was friends with his sister. No wonder Shannon is a mess. Tamra brings up the mother saying that Shannon pushed him to have an affair. In her interview, Vicki says you don’t have an affair if you’re happily married and it reminds her of what happened with her and Don.

Jim and Meghan go to her doctor’s appointment. The doctor asks if she’s been having any problems, but she says it’s all good except for being a little emotional. A little? They do a sonogram and listen to the baby’s heart. It looks like just one baby. Meghan starts to cry because you can’t please her. Jim tells her it’s okay like ten thousand times. In her interview she says it’s a happy moment, but she feels a huge sense of loss. What is she wearing on her index finger? It looks like a spring. Jim actually acts like a human being and comforts her.

The Beadors arrive at their rental house. There are about ten million boxes in there. I’ve never had to move a 13,000+ square foot house, but I did move into a new apartment when my office was moving at the same time. I dreamed about boxes. David wants a drink immediately. Shannon looks like she’s going to be sick. She takes a selfie out by the water. She’s both stressed and excited to move on.

Meanwhile, back at the spa, the girls get massages. Kelly and Vicki are in the same room and Vicki asks about Kelly’s marriage. Kelly says Michael ignored their anniversary, so she bought a purse and he thought some dude bought it for her. Vicki says she and Don were married almost twenty years and had everything. She says Kelly has to fix it and has to talk to Michael. In her interview, Vicki says she did the wrong thing by bailing. Kelly tells Vicki about Michael telling her to shut up. In the next room, Tamra and Heather can hear her and Tamra says she doesn’t think Kelly is happy in her marriage.

Vicki says it’s never just one person who causes a relationship to fall apart, it’s always two. Tamra talks about Michael being evaluated as a narcissist and how he tried to take her daughter away from her while they were separated. Vicki tells Kelly she’s going down a slippery slope.

The spa girls have lunch and cocktails. Tamra and Heather get to the table first and talk about Meghan’s store opening. Tamra jokes about getting her a candle as a gift. Ha-ha! Vicki and Kelly join them. Tamra asks who was yelling, and Kelly says she was crying and Vicki was giving her advice. I’d cry if I was getting advice from Vicki too. Kelly reveals her marriage isn’t going too well, and talks about Michael ignoring their anniversary. I can totally understand the guy leaving it up to the wife to plan – some guys just aren’t good with that kind of stuff – but to not even get a card is inexcusable. In her interview, Tamra says Kelly’s lashing out makes sense now. Tamra says it will get really bad before it gets better. She says you can’t win with a narcissist. Kelly says her mother thinks they should get a divorce, but she’s not sure what to do.

Shannon and David go out for dinner. David says he understands how difficult it is right now, but ultimately it will be a good move for them. He brings up his mother’s outburst and says Shannon didn’t deserve it. He thinks his mother blames herself for his father’s affairs and tells her she had nothing to do with his mistake. I hate when they use that word “mistake.” It sounds like, oops! I just ended up in bed with someone else for eight months. Shannon says it was the most hurtful thing his mother could have said. She wonders why his mother hasn’t liked her from the jump.

Shannon tells David she wasn’t mad at him, just his mother. David says he texted her that if she’s going to be disrespectful to Shannon, he can’t have her around. Wow. He must love Shannon. In her interview, Shannon says it shows his commitment. Holy! The plate of ribs Shannon ordered is humongous.

This season, Tamra farts on Eddie and loses her nipple cover (not at the same time), Michael gets drunk, Tamra’s competition happens, the ladies take a trip to Dublin (hide the liquor!) and go all Riverdance, there’s a trip to a dairy farm, Kelly calls Tamra a liar, Shannon and Tamra argue with Vicki, and Tamra gets hysterical.

Looks like a great season. 😨

September 25, 2016 – Storybrooke is Back, Travis & Chris Part Ways, & New Jersey Goes to Vermont


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Like Willy Wonka, I am striking that and reversing it on Sunday nights, and it’s zombies before Wives. Now that Once Upon a Time is back, I had to switch my TV viewing sequence around.

Once Upon a Time

We are in an Arabian kingdom, flying carpets and all. A man says the kingdom is in great danger and they need a savior, but the savior is not seeing anyone today. The man is persistent and Jafar pops out and turns him into dust, along with the woman who was fielding the savior’s visitors. Jafar tells the savior that when they met, he was a common thief, and the fate of saviors is to give, breaking off their branches until all that’s left is a shaky stump. He says you never hear the words “happily ever after” about a savior. It’s Aladdin he’s talking to and he tells him to take care.

Hook and Emma are making out on the couch. The earth moves, but not in a good way. They go outside and see a ship floating through the air – awesome! It’s a dirigible from The Land of Untold Stories. Hyde appears, tells everyone that it’s his and that The Dark One gave him the town.

Regina and Emma zap Hyde, but he just laughs. He says nothing is more dangerous than an untold story and the people who don’t want them told. The dirigible crashes in the forest.

Emma and the others check it out. Snow says it looks like the people inside ran. Jekyll says he may be able to salvage a weapon to take down the stranger. Emma has a vision about fighting someone. Hook asks her what’s up, but she says nothing.

Rumple looks for Hyde. He’s exchanged the keys to Storybrooke for the answer to waking Belle. Hyde has told him in the Temple of Morpheus there are sands that will allow him to walk in Belle’s dreams and he can wake her from there. Rumple uses the sand and meets Morpheus in the forest. He tells Rumple welcome to Belle’s dream world and asks if he’d like to wake her up.

Regina visits Zelena and tells her what happened with Hyde. Zelena suggests barbecuing Hyde and puts her daughter down for a nap. Regina says nothing is working and they need to plan. Zelena has an arrow feather from Robin for her, but can’t find it. Regina puts a protection spell over the house and the vault.

Snow tells Regina that Jekyll finished his weapon, so they might not have to worry about protection. Regina tells Snow about Zelena forgetting where she put the feather, which she thinks is odd behavior. She decides to forget about it for now, since heroism comes first.

Hyde is holed up at the town hall. Regina pretends to have Jekyll prisoner to lure him outside. She tells Hyde to leave town and Jekyll is his. He suggests she keep both Jekyll and Storybrooke, and not embarrass herself. She distracts him while Emma aims Jekyll’s weapon, which looks like a small mortar, but she has another vision. She starts to shake and Regina almost gets strangled by Hyde. Emma finally shoots and Hyde becomes their prisoner. He tells Emma that he knows more than she does, and if she wants to know what’s happening to her, she knows where to find him.

Emma is all weird and shaky, while she’s messing around the dirigible. Archie (otherwise known as Jiminy Cricket) and Pongo come by with coffee. Emma says her parents must have sent him and she’s not in the mood for therapy right now. He says she’s been fighting forever and now that the walls are down, it’s let in collateral damage. He says there are no short cuts to fixing the big problems.

Emma goes to see Hyde. He calls her a smart girl, and she says keep calling her girl and he’ll find out how smart she is. He wants her to take off the cuffs. He says prisoners respond to carrots and sticks and she has neither. She starts to leave and he says he knows about the battle in her mind’s eye. She tells him that she’s been in prison and the worst part was being alone. She says she knows how he feels, and he can spill the beans or stay lonely. He can sit there in silence and rot. Hyde says she did come with a stick after all and it’s impressive except for one small thing – she’s afraid of him. He tells her he brought someone to help her with her problem, and to follow the red bird. He wonders if she’s ready for her story though.

I swear Rumple just said Belle is dreaming about White Castle, but I guess he said the white castle. He and Morpheus go into the castle and Belle acts like a servant. Morpheus tells Rumple that’s how she sees herself in her dream and he’s a beast. Morpheus sets up a giant hourglass timer. He says if Rumple doesn’t wake Belle in an hour, she’ll end up with a fiery fate. Rumple says he’ll make her fall in love with him again.

Morpheus says the castle terrifies Belle, but Rumple says it’s also where they fell in love. He says his love for her and their child will never be a lie. Belle brings tea and Rumple comes out in full Rumple regalia. Belle is all nervous and drops a cup, but he says everything is cool and maybe she should take a break. She asks him what’s going on. He says he has a ball to attend later and he asks her to dance. They dance to the music from Beauty and the Beast. He says there’s one more thing they need and he zaps the yellow ballgown onto her. She asks what’s come over him, and he says maybe he’s tired of being a beast. Very nice scene.

Zelena comes to Regina’s house and asks her if she got Hyde. Regina says yes, but it’s the first time she’s been back since Robin died. She asks Zelena to go. Zelena says they should be helping each other, but Regina says not this time because she blames Zelena. Zelena says what about Emma, who dragged her to hell? Regina says she chose to go, but she trusted Zelena, and Robin’s soul was destroyed. Zelena says Regina ripped out the part of her that made them most alike. Zelena says she and the baby will be gone by tonight, and she disappears poof! in a puff of green smoke.

Snow and the gang look for the people from the dirigible. Snow can tell that they’re afraid. She calls to them, saying Hyde is locked up and they want to help. They see shadows of people with torches come out of the forest. Snow tells them they’ll be at Granny’s where there’s food and shelter for them.

Emma walks through the forest with Hook and sees the red bird. She asks him to go and he knows something is up, but leaves. Emma follows the red bird. She sees a girl who says the bird is her pet. She says she knows many things, including why Emma is there. She says the visions tell a story of her future.

Regina is doing a locator spell when Henry walks in. She’s trying to find the feather and Henry says it’s not working because it’s looking for Robin and he’s gone. Regina says Hades told her that Robin’s soul was destroyed, but Henry believes that he’s in a special place.

Belle and Rumple dance. She says it’s a shame he’s been alone for so long and he says he wasn’t always alone; there was a son who left because he saw the darkness. Rumple says he had a chance to change but was too frightened. Belle asks if he could change now, would he? He says for her, he would be the best man he could be. They kiss.

All of the memories come flooding back. Belle says they’ve done this before and she can’t do this again. He explains they fell in love and got married and now their child is in danger. She put herself to sleep, but he needs her to wake up now. She says she loves him and believes he loves her, but together they cause heartbreak. Morpheus pops in and says he had to be sure Belle wouldn’t fall for Rumple’s lies again. Now he can wake her up with true loves kiss. She says she doesn’t know him and he says she’s known him since the day he was conceived. He’s their son and it’s his dream too. He says don’t let Rumple destroy them like he did his lost family.

Morpheus gives Belle a kiss on the forehead and she wakes up. Belle tells Rumple that their son was testing her, pretending to be Morpheus. Rumple says they can discuss it at home and makes sparkly, blue swirly things in the mirror. Belle says her son gave her a warning and she’s going to listen, and walks into the mirror.

The girl says she’s called an oracle, but knowing the future is a heavy burden. Emma sees herself battling a hooded figure. The Storybrooke crew are running toward them as Emma’s sword gets knocked from her hand. She tells the hooded figure she’s not going to let them get hurt. Her hand starts to shake and he runs his sword through her. The oracle says this is just a small piece of her end story. She can change the destination, but the result will be the same. She’ll die in the battle she saw. Since no one really dies on this show, I wouldn’t be too worried.

Emma goes back to Hyde. She asks him what’s coming and how to stop it. She says no matter what, she’ll defeat it. He says that’s what saviors always say, but there’s always a villain to bring them down. She has to ask herself if helping others is what causes her story to end.

Emma joins Hook at the bar. He says she’s in a better mood, and she tells him it was just stress, and Archie helped her. He asks if she’s sure and she says she is, and joins him in having a drink.

Snow tells Regina it will work out. Snow takes Regina’s hand and Regina says she was an awful stepmother. Snow says that’s in the past. Regina asks how she held up during those terrible times. She says the only way she could stay alive was to never give up and Regina is the one who taught her that hope is a choice. Regina says Hades was wrong; Robin is at peace. She’s been thinking about how the people with untold stories were hiding, and she says that’s exactly what she used to do. Her life had stopped. The only story she heard was the one she told herself, that she was the evil queen. She forgot the most important thing, that life isn’t just one story, there’s many. To some, she’s a villain, but to others, she’s a hero. They see her strength and ability to do right, even when she thought she couldn’t. She’s going to start a new story and chooses to believe this story will have a better ending.than the last one.

They walk off together, and we see a feather drop to the ground.

The untold story people are at Granny’s getting clothing and food. Belle looks out from inside Mr. Gold’s shop. Emma is looking mighty shaky.

Zelena comes home and sees Regina. No, it’s the Evil Queen. She tells Zelena that all she ever wanted was a sister, and when she got her wish, it was the wrong one. Zelena is shocked the Evil Queen is alive and she says she can’t be gotten rid of that easily. The Evil Queen suggest they have a drink and that it’s time for some sisterly bonding.

This season, the secret of the savior is revealed, Cinderella joins the team, and the Evil Queen and Zelena join forces.

Fear the Walking Dead

A crowd of people beg to come into the hotel. Alicia says it’s a mistake, they don’t have anything. Madison says sorry. The people grab at the gate. There is shouting and crying. Madison sees Travis among them.

Poor Mr Spanish Guy lies dead with Chris standing over him. Baby James is still alive. Travis takes charge and says he’s going to try and stitch up the wound. He runs to the house to look for whatever he can find, rifling through drawers. Surprisingly, he’s quite good at stitching, even though Baby James is twitching and whining the whole time. Now he has to do the exit wound. He says after he does that, they won’t move him until he’s better and Baby James finally shuts up. He ain’t called Baby for nothin’. I’m very impressed at both Travis’s cool and his skills.

Travis buries Mr. Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is with his family. Suarez! It’s Suarez. Now that he’s in the ground, I have his name. Travis is working on some kind of adrenaline because he’s just flying through all this.

The guys cook a chicken for dinner. Travis asks Baby James how he’s doing. His pain is only level 3 or 4, so he’s doing pretty well. Travis says he can’t help him if he doesn’t know what’s going on, so if anything gets worse, let him know. Travis asks Chris to talk. He tells Chris he killed a man today, and the least he could do is let it affect his appetite. Travis wants to know what he’s thinking. Chris says the guy shot his friend, what was he supposed to do? Travis says they’re savages. Chris says this is how it works now – no more good or bad, no right or wrong, it’s kill or be killed, sorrynotsorry. He tells Travis how he would hide every recess in middle-school and Travis told him to play along and fit in. Travis says the operative phrase was play along. Chris says Travis has proved his worth, and be careful how he plays it because they need theses guys .Travis says he doesn’t need them, but Chris says he does.

Madison tells them to open the gate for Travis. They manage to get Travis through a small opening while keeping the others out. He and Madison cling to each other.

Travis looks out from a balcony. Madison asks if he wants a shower, but he says no. You sure about that? She asks if he wants food and he says he doesn’t need anything. He asks where Victor is, and she says he ran off, possibly to Tijuana. She asks about Chris. Travis gets a weird look on his face and goes inside. He tells her he had no choice and she asks where Chris is.

We go back to earlier. The chickens have run out, so it’s moving day. Baby James claims his pain is at zero, but Travis is skeptical. The guys want to go to San Diego. Travis repeats that it’s burned and Chris says they never actually saw that. The guys all insist on leaving, but frankly, I think James looks scared.

Travis looks at Mr. Suarez’s grave and then goes inside the house .He looks at all the family pictures on the walls. Damn. And I thought I had a lot of photos. He finds Mr Suarez’s license and makes a grave marker using the info. Like this means anything. Chris says they’re leaving, and Travis says too bad, he’s finishing this.

Travis joins the rest and they slide Baby James into the bed of the truck. He doesn’t sound like his pain is a zero. Travis rides in the back with Baby James and Chris. They start off and already James isn’t looking too good. Travis checks his pulse and tells them if they don’t stop, Baby James is going to die. He barely has a pulse. They go back.

Travis hears Chris talking with the others. Travis tells them they need to give Baby James more time. He says they can survive there for enough time for James to heal. He tells them Baby James is scared of them, and he’s starting to get why. Travis grabs Chris’s gun. One of the guys says he doesn’t have the balls to use it and Travis shoots close. The guy jumps up, brandishing his own gun. Chris asks why Travis is doing this and he says he’s doing it for him.

Travis tends to Baby James. He tells him his buddies want to put him down. Baby James asks why Travis thinks he agreed to get in the truck? He tells Travis about another friend, Troy. He was sick and they knew he was going to turn, and kept their promise to kill him if he did. He says when the time came, he begged them not to do it. Baby James ended up doing the dirty work. Travis says it’s all the same no matter where they go, just different people. He tells Baby James he’s not sick or dying, he just needs time. Baby James says it doesn’t matter, what matters is they think he is and he’s considered dead weight. Travis fingers the gun.

James sleeps while Travis guards him. Chris knocks at the barn door, saying he wants to talk and brought food. Travis tells him to set it down and frisks him. He says the others are down the road. Travis tells him to sit down. Chris says he gets it and Travis asks what he gets. Chris says he understands why Travis is trying to save people, because life matters. Chris says they’ve known Baby James since he was six and still want to kill him, so imagine what they might do to him. I wouldn’t trust this kid as far as I could throw him.

Yep. Travis is caught off-guard and Chris gets the better of him and lets the others in. Baby James begs for his life and Travis says don’t do it. Too late. Baby James is dead. I knew Chris was faking it – playing along. Travis is seriously bummed. Chris has his gun back and they guys pack the truck up again. Travis wants to talk to Chris. He tells Chris the name of the farmer and says he was born on Chris’s birthday. He tells Chris that this is forever and he’s barely 16. If he drives away, Travis will never find him. Chris tells him that his way doesn’t work. Travis promises to take care of him. Chris says by letting him go, he is. He says he’s adapting and better off without Travis. He says Travis found it in him to kill Chris’s zombified mother. Travis says there’s a difference and Chris says, no, there’s not, so that settles it. As they drive away, Travis begs Chris not to go. Then curses him out. I’ll bet we see Chris and the bros somewhere down the line again. Travis starts to walk.

Travis tells Madison he walked for two days and saw the hotel light, and what are the chances? He’s bummed about leaving Chris, but Madison tells him they’ll get through this. He says he failed his son and his wife. He goes back out on the balcony. Madison says he said it himself, there was no choice. Travis says he could have gone along with it. It would have been wrong, but he would have done right by Chris. Madison says he’s still out there. Travis says he was wrong when Chris threatened Alicia, and they should be parents first. Madison did what she was supposed to, but his priority should have been Chris. He says the whole time he was walking, he thought about how he should have told Chris he loved him. Instead, the last thing he said was “God damn you.” He says when Chris was a boy, he had a big heart, but by the time Madison met him, he was angry. Travis says he allowed Chris to become that way. He says they’re living minute by minute, and at any time, it could be over. He wishes he had ended things differently. Madison says she has to find Alicia and leaves.

Alicia and Andres are tending to the patients in a makeshift infirmary. Madison asks Alicia to come with her. They go out on the dock. Madison says there’s something Alicia needs to understand and to hear her out. She says it’s about Alicia’s father and his accident, and that it wasn’t an accident. She thought she was doing the right thing by not telling her. Alicia says Madison said he fell asleep at the wheel, and Madison says he didn’t. Alicia asks how she can be certain,  and Madison says he left a note in his glove box. Alicia starts to cry and asks what it said. Madison says it’s not important. He was a man of few words who could be quite precise. Alicia insists. It said, I love you all and enough’s enough.

Alicia asks if Nick knows. Madison says Nick is why she kept it a secret. She says there’s a lot of Alicia’s father in Nick. She lists his positive qualities and says he just couldn’t see it. She asks to hold Alicia’s hand. She says she was afraid of Nick ending up like her father, but she never loved Alicia any less. She just thought Alicia was all right. Alicia says she had to be and Madison apologizes. She hugs Alicia. Alicia says she loves Madison too.

Travis takes a shower. He stands with his forehead on the wall.

Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. A small group comes to the gate . It’s those guys, but I don’t see Chris.

Next time, the 2-hour finale, Travis finds Chris, Victor returns, and there are lots and lots of zombies to make up for this episode.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Love Melissa’s dress in the opening. I’ll bet I’d like the stuff in her store. If I could fit in it.

The end of the last episode repeats. At lunch, Rosie wonders if Teresa never wants to be a family again. Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks her to respect that. She says she wishes them the best. Kathy asks if they can at least come away with a possibility. Teresa says they’re cousins and will always be there for each other as family. She and Joe #2 leave.

Teresa starts to cry and does that fanning thing. She says it’s exhausting. Joe #2 talks about how they were taught to never cry. He tells Teresa if that’s how she feels, that’s how she feels, and she says she feels like she doesn’t want to be around Kathy and Rosie.

Siggy and Dolores visit Jacqueline. They want the skinny on what happened. Jacqueline calls Kathy and Rosie. Kathy says Teresa said she has a lot on her plate and wants to keep her distance right now, but her door is open. Kathy makes like everything went more okay than it was.

Teresa packs for Vermont while Milania does some break dancing. Teresa wants the girls to spend time with their father, since he’ll be going to the pokey away soon.

Joe #2 tells Melissa it’s good of her to plan the trip. He says Teresa was really stressed out by the lunch with Kathy and Rosie, and thinks she could use the break. Melissa wants everyone to just have fun and not worry about anything. Good luck with that. Mutual friends Robyn and Christina are also coming. She tells Joe about how Jacqueline and Teresa seem to be doing better, but thinks Jacqueline still doubts Teresa and is paranoid of Melissa’s friendship with her.

Kim D (who the name Plastic would actually fit) is at her store, Posche. We flash back to the stupid fashion show she had where she tried to “expose” Melissa as a stripper. Or as Melissa says it, “shtripper.” Jacqueline and Siggy come in. Kim gossips about Melissa’s store and says that one of her assistants is selling stories. Jacqueline brings up Teresa selling books for cash at a time when it looked badly for her, and how it was leaked to the press. Siggy talks about how Melissa and Teresa are getting along better, but Kim D will have none of that, saying it’s all an act.

Joe #1 looks at a brochure on vaginal rejuvenation. I don’t want to know. Robyn and Christina arrive with their suitcases, as well a Melissa and Joe #2. The party bus comes with Jacqueline and Chris, and everyone gets on it. Since Joe #1 has been a bad boy, he can’t come. He’s not allowed to leave the state.

They discuss skiing, and who is good at it or not, swapping war stories. Joe #2 has already had enough of all the ladies talking at once. Siggy offers Teresa any help she might need when she’s a “single mother.” Chris says he’s the only one she can count on, and Joe brings up him trying to date Teresa. Chris says she was only interested in Joe #1.

Somehow the lunch comes up. Teresa compares it to breaking up with a guy – you still love him, but there’s nothing there. Robyn talks about actions speaking louder than words, but Dolores says they’re good people. We flash back to an issue Robyn had with Rosie. She says Rosie won’t even acknowledge her. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Robyn one of “Teresa’s soldiers,” and she questions Teresa having changed. Melissa says there seems to be no meeting of the minds, and Jacqueline starts getting loud about the message not having been clear. Melissa thinks she’s trying to push the relationship. Jacqueline says that if Teresa doesn’t want it, she totally gets it, but she needs to make it understood. Joe interjects that they might have gotten the wrong message when she said her door was open. Melissa opens some champagne. In her interview, Dolores says Robyn doesn’t really mesh well with the others.

After eight hours, they finally arrive and go immediately to the bar. They’ve rented a villa, and the suites or whatever are divvied up. Siggy tries on the many hats she’s brought with her.

Dinner time! All the women have their bathrobes on over their clothes. I have no clue why. It’s a family style meal and looks pretty damn good. Melissa announces her fashion show. Teresa thanks everyone for hanging out with her before Joe #1 leaves. Everyone says something positive and they toast. Joe #2 and Chris play shuffleboard (except it’s like a foosball table) and the girls go outside by the fire-pit.

Jacqueline tells Melissa what Kim D said about her assistant Derek and how he’s selling stories. In her interview, Melissa says Kim D is scraping the bottom of the barrel for gossip. She reminds the others about Kim D stirring the pot, trying to out her as the shtripper she never was. We flash back to that, and also a problem that Kim started between Jacqueline and Teresa. Teresa suggests Melissa just check Derek out.

Joe #2 talks to Chris about being glad he was born a man when he hears the girls bitching. Robyn tells Jacqueline she’s confusing and not very direct. She feels that Jacqueline tried to attack her and Jacqueline talks about her being a “loyal soldier” to Teresa. Robyn suggests they bring Teresa into the conversation, and in her interview, Jacqueline wonders why Robyn wants to drag Teresa into it. Um, maybe because you’re talking about her? Robyn asks Jacqueline what her problem is, and she says she wants to rage on Jacqueline’s ass. Jacqueline says bring it on and they tell each other to STFU and do that “no, you” stuff that I find funny coming from adults.

Jacqueline gets up and gets in Robyn’s face. Teresa comes out and asks what’s happening and they continue their argument. In her interview, Teresa says she’s never seen Robyn like this and wouldn’t be surprised if Jacqueline crossed the line. They go inside and Jacqueline keeps it up. Robyn calls her an instigator and Jacqueline tells Teresa she thought she’d cleaned house, but she forgot to take out the garbage. She’s so nasty. Or vicious, as Michael Rapaport would say.

Meanwhile back at Teresa’s house, Milania tries to cook while Joe #1 gives instructions like, don’t burn that. I can tell he’s at the end of his rope already and it’s only early morning.

Jacqueline refuses to come out of her room because she’s five years old. Teresa says she antagonizes the situation (ha-ha – I think she means aggravates) and then plays the victim. Truth! Melissa comes to breakfast in a bizarre ski outfit. Teresa asks Dolores why Jacqueline isn’t coming out and Dolores says she’s bummed. Poor baby.

Jacqueline tells Chris about how Robyn said she wanted her ass, so she sat one her. Chris says they’re out of control.

The rest of the group goes to a dog sledding place. Dolores totally loves on one of the dogs. Teresa keeps saying she’s scared, but don’t they have three dogs, one of which is a German Shepherd? Everyone gets in the sleds and the dogs are super excited. We see everything all shaky-cam on the ride. Melissa says it’s too bad Jacqueline didn’t come and that she tends to create her own issues. Dolores has gotten a text telling them there’s nothing wrong and some TMI about Jacqueline and Chris.

Time to ski. Robyn immediately falls on her ass and continues to do so. Joe is next. I refuse to laugh because I’ve never been skiing and can just imagine. Teresa tells Melissa she’s glad they’re in a good place. She asks for help in understanding Jacqueline, because it doesn’t seem to be going as well. Melissa says her relationship with Jacqueline has changed, since she seems to be paranoid about trusting Teresa.

Siggy and Dolores go back to the villa and Jacqueline says since Chris has to leave, she wants to go too. She says the weekend is about Teresa and Robyn is her friend, so she thinks it’s for the best. Siggy gets ridiculous about how they won’t have a good time without her. In her interview, Dolores is upset because this new person is causing a problem. Frankly, I think Jacqueline is acting like a big baby. She claims to be fearful of Robyn, since she said she wanted to kick Jacqueline’s ass, but Jacqueline started it and she’s the one with the tough girl tagline. She always seems to be spoiling for a fight, but I guess the real truth is, she’s all mouth. Then again, didn’t she punch Caroline Manzo? And her daughter, Ashlee, is the one who pulled out Danielle Staub’s weave way back when. Yeah, now I need help understanding Jacqueline too.

In her interview, Teresa says that Jacqueline is calculated (um…calculating?) and hits you where it hurts.

Big baby Jacqueline packs. Dolores tells her that Teresa is on probation can’t be around any arguments. Jacqueline says if she stays there will be an argument, and they both whine about the new person. Siggy says they have to protect Teresa. Dolores says Robyn is a threat and they should tell her. Honestly, these women think everyone has short term memory loss. Robyn did not start this argument.

Next time, Teresa doesn’t want to ask Robyn to leave, Joe #2 says this is like a soap opera, Jacqueline wags her finger in Teresa and Melissa’s faces while pulling out her phone, and Dolores goes nuts.

September 23, 2016 – We Lose GH’s Sabrrrina, But Gain Back Citizen Z & the Usual Quotes


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Franco gives Elizabeth some tea. The doorbell rings and he thinks it’s the home nurse, but it’s Jason.

There’s a knock at Finn’s door. It’s Hayden bearing empty to-go coffee cups. Please, at least pretend. How many times do I have to tell these people? She wants to celebrate her freedom. She says she knows he’s bummed about the hospital, but he could at least return her texts. His room looks like a tornado hit it and she asks what the blip happened.

Curtis wakes Valerie, telling her she’s late for work, but she’s not pulling the early shift. She set the alarm for something else. Woo-woo.

Jordan peruses her laptop at the station. Andre chastises her for eating pizza for breakfast, but she says its not breakfast if she hasn’t been to bed yet. He tells her about how Mayor Lomax is patting herself on the back for closing the hospital. Jordan says the only way to make the hospital safe is to catch the killer. Andre says, let’s get to work then.

Griff presides over Sabrrrina’s funeral. He talks about how resilient Sabrrrina was in the face of adversity and her determination to find the best in people. He says they’re there to celebrate her life. He invites the attendees to talk about her. Lucy gets up and thanks Sabrrrina for everything she gave to all of them.

Hayden tells Finn about Naomi covering for her. He says he knows how much she’s suffered for her father’s crimes. She says he doesn’t know the half of it, and tells him about Jeff Webber being her real father and how that insufferable twit Elizabeth is her sister.

Jason brings Elizabeth a homemade card and she asks how Jake is. She wonders why Jason is wearing a suit and he says it’s for Sabrrrina’s funeral. You’re going to be late, dude.

Jordan says Andre still has his patients to look after, but he says the quicker the case is solved, the quicker GH will reopen. He says they need to figure out how Sabrrrina’s murder factors in.

Curtis and Valerie finish what she set the alarm for. He suggests she play hooky, but she says she can’t with the killer on the loose. She feels that she should have been more alert when she got the bop in the head at the hospital. Curtis says she got off easy, and if she’d turned around, she would have been killed. Curtis says the veterans haven’t caught the killer either and she doesn’t have to solve every murder. She says just the last one – Sabrrrina’s.

Lucy goes up to the podium. She talks about how Sabrrrina was determined to revive the Nurses Ball. She believed in what it stood for – compassion, community, and coming together to do something good. She says Sabrrrina is the reason she came back to Port Charles. She thanks Sabrrrina, saying she’ll be eternally grateful, and also to Felix. She asks him to come up next. He probably should have been first since he’s the only one I’ve seen cry real tears.

Elizabeth wants to go to the funeral. Franco says she’d still be in the hospital if it hadn’t closed. Jason says she’s not strong enough yet, and Sabrrrina would have told her the same thing. He leaves and Franco asks if he can get Elizabeth anything, She says she needs her friends to stop dying. She goes down Memory Lane, mentioning Emily and Nicholas. It doesn’t look like we’ll be seeing Nicholas again either, at least not in the form of Tyler Christopher.

Hayden says when she was little, she was desperate for a sister, someone to play with, confide in and trust. She says her so-called sister is the reason she went to jail and Finn says something about it being a miscommunication. Hmm…not the word I’d use. She asks why he destroyed his room and says Carly won’t be too happy. He tries to get her to leave, but no.

Jordan goes through the victims. Andre says the killer is being sloppy. Jordan thinks Sabrrrina was a mistake and that maybe she could have ID’d him. Andre says the hospital is the common denominator. They talk about the shoes and cufflink being from a well dressed man. Jordan says she works best with a partner. Valerie and Curtis walk in. Curtis sees the pizza and asks if they pulled an all-nighter and if they’re close to a breakthrough.

Felix says it still seems impossible that Sabrrrina is gone. He says they’re not here for bitterness, but to talk about how amazing Sabrrrina was. Jason arrives, apologizing to Michael for being late, and saying he’s there for him. Felix wants to pay tribute but doesn’t know where to start. He amends that, saying that he doesn’t want to, because if he starts, that means there has to be an end. Preach it.

Commercial break. An ad for ABC Soaps in Depth, and the headline is GH: Shocker: Paul Confesses to Tracy. 😯

Felix talks about how close he and Sabrrrina were, and how, no matter what was going on, she always made time for him. He says she could brighten the darkest day, and he wishes with all his heart he didn’t have to get through this day without her. I’ll let it slide that if she was there, he wouldn’t need to get through this day.

Hayden refuses to leave. She tells Finn it’s time to change up their dance and she’s tired of him pushing her away to protect her feelings. She says she’s tough now, after spending a night in jail. She tells him a fatal illness is a lot, emotionally and physically, and he can talk to her, she won’t break. Finn says he might. He says his tantrum had nothing to do with him being sick. Hayden asks why he’s upset, and he shows her a tie with Einstein and E-MC2 on it, a gift from his dead wife. It’s their anniversary.

Jordan asks Curtis what he’s doing there, and he says dropping off Valerie. He asks if they think the killer is a doctor. He says doctors do have a God complex – no offense to Andre, who says he and his complex forgive Curtis. He says a lot of people go through the hospital and this is someone who wouldn’t be questioned. Jordan says someone like a cop?

Dante thinks he has a lead. He tells Tracy that the killer didn’t plan this out and there might be DNA evidence. Griff asks if there’s anyone else who wants to share. Elizabeth comes in supported by Franco and says she will.

Elizabeth takes the podium. She talks about how she and Sabrrrina clicked right away and that taking care of patients was in her blood. She says Sabrrrina was one of the kindest people she’s ever known. She might have made mistakes, but never for the wrong reasons. She says starting today, for Sabrrrina, she’ll try to be more like her, and it’s the best way to honor her memory.

Finn tells Hayden that his wife was the best doctor he’s ever known. He says she had a way of making everyone happy and having fun with whatever she did. He says when he got too serious, she’d buy him a crazy novelty tie. He never wore them because he doesn’t like to call attention to himself. Hayden is like, says the guy with the bearded dragon. Finn tells her that Roxie is a showboater and not to blame him because she’s a star.

He tells Hayden that one day they weren’t as careful with samples as they should have been and his wife got exposed. She got sick because of him. She’d wanted to go home, but he’d wanted to stay and find a cure. She never blamed him, and gave him the tie on their last anniversary. She wanted him to wear it to show the world.

Jordan asks Curtis if he’s accusing one of the PCPD of being a murderer. He says it’s someone who can move undetected through the hospital, and Jordan tells Valerie to make a list of non-medical personnel, especially those who would have an ID.

Michael gets up next. He wonders how to sum Sabrrrina up. He talks about her kindness and her big heart and how fun she was to be around. He says how good she was with Avery. When he saw her tenderness, patience and love, he realized that he loved her. He starts to break up and Carly goes to him. She asks if she can say something.

Carly talks about Michael being estranged from his family and Sabrrrina encouraging forgiveness. She’s grateful for the bridge and for the happiness Sabrrrina brought Michael. Michael says that Sabrrrina left the place a better world than she found it, and he’s grateful he got to know and love her. I call Paul an a-hole.

Griff gets up and asks Epiphany to take the floor. Where does he want her to take it? She says that Sabrrrina was a wonderful gift and it’s not going to be easy without her, but they’ll do their damnedest to measure up. She sings You’re Not Alone. Love, love, love Epiphany. As she sings, instead of getting flashbacks like we should, the camera pans over the crowd. We see Hayden put the tie on Finn, and Valerie looking at Sabrrrina’s picture at the station. I call Paul a d-bag. Even though I wasn’t a huge Sabrrrina fan, this all makes me want to cry.

Commercial break. Don’t forget, Once Upon a Time has its season premiere this Sunday.

Afterward Jason tells Michael that if he needs anything, let him know. Michael says thanks, but maybe he can do some good for someone, which is what Sabrrrina would have wanted.

Hayden says she knows the best way to celebrate and Finn tells her no selfies. Finn says Hayden and his wife would have liked one another, and they toast to her with the empty to-go cups.

Elizabeth thanks Franco for taking her to the memorial. He tells her to rest or he’ll end up in trouble. She asks if hell be there when she wakes up and he says if she wants him to. She does.

Griff tells Tracy that he hopes Sabrrrina has peace now. Paul looks at Sabrrrina’s pic.

Valerie has downloaded some files and asks Andre to help weed through them. Curtis tells Jordan about how they tried to bust a cartel once, and how the guy they were looking for was right under their noses the whole time.

Paul flashes back to killing Sabrrrina. He apologizes to her picture, and Tracy asks what he’s sorry for. He says, “I killed her.” DUN-DUN-DUNN! I guess Soaps in Depth wasn’t kidding

On Monday, Paul confesses to Tracy, Sam confronts Alexis, and Sonny tells Jason someone needs to pay.

Z Nation

Pup and Citizen Z have set off for parts unknown. They nearly freeze to death, but a native girl finds them.

Meanwhile, Operation Bitemark and Escorpion get trounced and are being held captive by some kind of Asian soldier group. The female leader sees Murphy in a speedboat. She scans Roberta with something that looks like an iPad and Roberta’s information comes up. She does the same thing to the others, and the soldiers take blood samples from them. When she gets to Escorpion, the screen comes up with a list of his crimes. He tells her that career opportunities were somewhat limited in his neighborhood. While she’s busy with that, Roberta gets a soldier’s gun, but her plan doesn’t work, and they become captives once again. The soldiers dispatch a few zombies.

On the water, Murphy has his own little gang. He orders Dr. Merch and a bunch of military guys out of the boat. Murphy swipes the captain’s hat and 10K emerges from the boat, asking what happened. He says they have to find the others, but Murphy says they’re going their own way now, to start a new world. They all get into military vehicles. Dr. Merch and 10K ride with Murphy.

The woman asks Roberta where Murphy is and says his blood is their mission. One of the soldiers is radioed by a plane. The soldiers push OBM forward.

None of the people with Murphy seem to drive very well. They have to stop when one of the vehicles has a tire issue. Zombies come out of the woods. Never mind. These must be people. They have weapons and look like Vikings. They don’t respond to Murphy and the captain gets a machete to the head. It’s not going well for the other soldiers and Murphy tells 10K to kill the Vikings. WTF?

Murphy says starvation and killing is all that’s left; last stop for humanity, everybody off. Dr. Merch has an asthma attack, but Murphy calms it by looking at her. The plane drops some cargo. A group of Duck Dynasty guys run out of the woods toward where the parachutes are landing. Maybe they’re part of the Viking group.

Citizen Z has crazy dreams. He wakes and is being given some water. He doesn’t look good at all. He wakes again and is a little more cognizant. He’s naked and a naked girl sleeps next to him. Pup drinks from a water dish next to their floor mat. As soon as he sees Pup is fine, Citizen Z goes back to sleep.

The soldiers continue to march OBM through the woods and shoot zombies as they go. Doc is glad to see someone else doing the work for once. The zombies keep coming. One of the soldiers throws a grenade. Wait. It’s not a grenade. It’s a laser light show coming out of a ball. Doc says it’s a zombie rave and to pass the z-weed. The zombies stare at the green laser beams, something shoots out and they keel over. Roberta and Escorpian kill a couple of zombies with their hands tied behind their backs, and Escorpion suggests they work better when their hands are free.

An unfettered OBM walk through the woods. The female leader introduces herself as Dr. Sun from Laos. (She says Laos didn’t survive. They only have 200,000 people left.) She says they stayed behind the wall of the Forbidden City, a group of the best scientists from Asia, but failed to develop a vaccine. They need Murphy’s platelets.

10K asks Murphy what’s happening. Murphy says they have to keep moving. OMG – it’s a ball of zombies rumbling through the woods, taking down trees as they go! Murphy says it’s zombies eating zombies because there aren’t enough humans. He says without him, this is how the world ends – no humans just starving z’s. Dr. Merch asks what he’s going to do with her. He says she’ll bring him to the masses and she’ll go down in history. He tells 10K to put the zombies out of their misery. Murphy points out that 10K has stopped counting.

Roberta explains mercy to Dr. Sun . They stop for water and a couple of characters out of The Warriors watch them. Dr. Sun gives OBM their weapons back. Even better, gives them some modified weapons from her group.

Citizen Z wakes again, this time alone. He sits up, gets out of bed and stretches. He sees a girl sitting nearby. She says you’re up and he says it happens in the morning sometimes. Ha-ha! He covers himself with the blanket. She knows who he is and is a huge fan, although not in a Kathy Bates with a sledgehammer kind of way. She says she’s excited, but I’d hate to see not excited, since everything she says is very deadpan. Her name is Kia and she explains that he’s been out for two days and had hypothermia, which was why she was in bed with him. She introduces her Uncle Koskay and Nana who are sitting at the table having tea. Pulling the blanket tighter, he thanks them for their hospitality and gets his clothes back.

Kia, her uncle and Citizen Z stand outside. She tells him he’s been their connection to the world. She loves his vibe, but thinks he could stand to play more hip-hop. There aren’t any zombies around because of the ice and snow. There were also fewer humans.

Dr. Sun says her people sacrificed greatly for the mission and it’s their last hope. Oooh, I like Roberta’s vest, it’s OD green with little pockets and laces up the front. They see some characters from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Escorpion calls them Enders. He says they’re humans whose brains are fried. The group sees where the parachutes landed. It looks like an old airplane hangar. Roberta says they’re not the only ones who saw the parachutes. Doc tells her to put her dancin’ shoes on because there’s going to be a party.

They enter the hangar and Roberta asks Escorpion if he missed all the fun. Dr. Sun wonders where the people ahead of them want. She uses her iPad-looking thing to play Pokemon GO hone in on where the supplies are. They toss one of the laser grenades at the people from The Devil’s Rejects. It gets tossed back and the soldiers get nailed. Dr. Sun freaks out and runs to tend one of them. All hell breaks loose.

While OBM are fighting the Hills Have Eyes bunch, the doctor whines about failing her people. Escorpion pulls a giant nail out of the soldier, who says it’s just a flesh wound. Dr. Sun cries some more about failure and doesn’t want to go back without a cure. Geez, all of a sudden, a zombie pops out of nowhere and poor nail guy gets slammed and eaten. When life hands you zombies, get out of the way. This causes Dr. Sun to wail even louder.

Addie comes out with her modified battle ax, but this zombie is tough and big. Escorpian shoots him from behind. The lieutenant is zobified and the doctor kills him and sobs over his body. Roberta drags her away and says they need to look for the supplies. Doc says the supplies better be damn awesome because he needs a pick-me-up right about now.

The supply drop is gone, even the vehicle. No surprise, the doctor brings failure into the picture one more time, adding the ancestors will never know peace. There are storm clouds in the sky and it begins to thunder. The doctor says there’s a reckoning coming. Roberta tells her to call in more supplies, but that was it and the radio is destroyed. Roberta asks what Dr. Sun wanted with their blood. The doctor says they’ve been with Murphy from the beginning and they’ve survived for so long, maybe it was biological. Roberta says they’re the ones who kept Murphy going; he didn’t rub off on them. The doctor wants to have a pity party, but Roberta says Dr. Sun is part of her mission now. Doc asks if the mission has changed. Dr. Sun asks about Murphy, and Roberta says they’ve all survived for some cosmic reason, and it’s up to them.

Murphy drives up in a mini-tank with Dr. Merch. Roberta asks about 10K and Murphy just shakes his head. He says hi to Escorpion, who says he’s just Hector now. Murphy applauds his Road to Damascus moment and says he had his own epiphany. He tells them the submarine sank, but there was no lab on it, only Zona and now he has their nectar. He says there was no mission and asks Roberta to come with him to a new world. He says she can even bring everyone else.

Roberta says no thanks, and tells him about Dr. Sun and that she has a fully equipped lab on a ship not far away. Murphy says no one is poking holes in him again. He wants to forget about humanity and invites them to join his mission.

Roberta draws a gun on Murphy and tells him get out of the car. A bullet whizzes by and Doc wonders if it’s 10K. Either a bunch of zombies or the guys from Slipknot are coming over the hill. Murphy says time to choose him or what’s left of humanity. He says it’s blend time; the humans lost the race – just ask them. He tells them TTYL and drives away.

Murphy picks up 10K on his way out, and we see that he has a bite on the back of his neck. Oh wow. He was adamant about not wanting that last season, so I’m wondering if he was willing.

Dr. Sun says she’s not a survivor. Roberta says, yet she survived. The doctor asks if she’s a prisoner and Roberta says she’ll try trusting her. Doc says he thinks it was 10K who shot at them. Roberta tells him they’ll have to forget about that. They’re going to stop Murphy from creating a race of blends.

Citizen Z, Kia and her family watch the Northern Lights. Kia says she’s glad he’s there, and Citizen Z says he is too.

Murphy rides on.

The Man sees the damage that’s been done at the supply drop. I recognized those flip-flops right away. He looks at his list. The only name on it is Murphy’s. The Man walks out into the whatever.

Next time, Roberta is determined to stop Murphy, a mailman attracts zombies, and Murphy manages to get stuck in traffic.

Quotes of the Week

I was trying to remember the name of that singer Rihanna used to date … and then it hit me.Lady Bunny referring to Chris Brown

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.Mohammed Ali

Don’t screw with my disco, Nadine. — Corin Nemic as Harold, The Stand

September 22, 2016 – GH’s Morgan Creates Scenes & Claudette Creates an Ally


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Sonny finds Morgan balancing on a park bench and says they have to talk. Carly is upset about the fight Morgan started with Joe.

Carly tells Kiki to take off early and meet Morgan. Kiki is surprised Carly is so chill about her relationship with him. She says she supposes if Ava can accept it, Carly can too.

Ava tells Julian she can smell his freedom in the air. Nah. That’s Calvin Klein’s CK One.

Paul is having dinner and the waitress tells him it’s on the house, since he stinks at his job. The waitress says he’ll get another crack at Julian because guys like him can’t stop killing once they start.

Claudette tries to get Griff to come over, but no luck. She makes another call, telling whoever it is that she might not be their favorite person, but this could change after a meeting.

Obrecht shows up at Claudette’s room. She’s not happy. Claudette tells her to change her attitude because it’s the only way she’s going to see her granddaughter.

Nathan tells Maxie about Charlotte. He shows her the picture and Maxie is like, yep, that’s a picture of a kid. Maxie can’t believe Nathan bought Claudette’s story, but he says he knows she’s been hiding something. Maxie says they’re getting a DNA test.

Michael picks out a photo for Sabrrrina’s casket. Is it going to be closed? Why? Griff is there, helping with the arrangements. Michael tells him that Joe took Teddy back to Puerto Rico, and Sabrrrina would want to be buried with Gabriel. He explains that Gabriel was Sabrrrina’s son who passed away.

Carly says she wasn’t aware that Ava gave her blessing to Kiki and Morgan’s relationship. Kiki says she hasn’t, but she’s gotten off their backs. She thinks that Ava realizes if she has to choose between them, she’ll choose Morgan.

Morgan tells Sonny that Joe looks like Carrrlos and he didn’t like the way he was talking to Michael. Sonny says that didn’t give him the right to throw punches. He says bi-polar people have to watch themselves. Morgan thinks Sonny is accusing him of not taking his meds, but Sonny says that’s only half the battle. When they start reacting without thinking, it’s a sign that’s something is wrong.

Paul and Julian see each other at the restaurant, and Paul acts like he’s disappointed about losing the case. He leaves, and Ava runs after him. Ava tells him if he comes at her, she’ll come at him, and it will be mutual destruction. He says his destruction will be prison, while hers will be hell.

Maxie tells Nathan that Claudette has been there for months with no mention of a child. She wonders if the daughter is Griff’s, and Nathan gives her Claudette’s ridiculous explanation that she was careful with Griff. Maxie says Claudette is trying to lure him back into her web, and they’re not going to let her They’re going to call her bluff.

Claudette shows Obrecht a picture of Charlotte. Obrecht wonders if Claudette is conning Nathan. She says Claudette has done nothing but lie. She asks if the child shows an aptitude for science. Ha-ha! I guess that’s the criteria for her gene pool.

Sonny tells Morgan that when he heard the first not guilty verdict, he wanted to go off on Julian. He says for bi-polar people, the instinct to restrain themselves doesn’t kick in right away, and they have to think things through. Morgan turns this around, saying that Sonny means that he’d need to plan carefully to go after Julian so he’s not a suspect. Sonny asks what would happen if he went after Julian. Morgan says there would be retaliation and people could get hurt or killed. Sonny asks if he gets it and understands how it applies to him. Morgan gets it. He says he’ll also discuss it with Dr. Andre in their next session. Sonny tells him to concentrate on Kiki and school. Kiki is suddenly there, and asks if she heard her name. She says Carly gave her the night off and ordered her to go out with Morgan. Sonny is like, whatever Carly wants, and leaves.

Michael thinks they should have the memorial service at the house. Tracy says done and she’s also written an obituary. She goes to check on Monica, who I guess is home. Michael tells Griff there’s nothing left to do, and Griff says, except grieve

Julian asks Ava why Paul would risk his career and if Paul owes her a favor. She asks why he would care. Julian is concerned that she owes Paul, and he’s going to come to collect.

Paul skulks around the Quartermaine’s with a syringe. Tracy sees him on the staircase headed upstairs. She says she knows what he’s doing and it stops now.

Michael tells Griff he appreciates the support. Michael gets depressed over the baby monitor. Griff thinks Joe taking Teddy is sudden, but Michael says it was better to get it over with. He tells Griff about the custody battle he went through as a kid. Griff says it was quite a sacrifice, and Michael says it’s what Sabrrrina would have wanted.

Sonny shows up at the MetroCourt and Carly talks about Morgan getting into the fight with Joe. Sonny says he spoke to Morgan and thinks he understands. Carly says nothing is going right; Sabrrrina is dead and Julian is free. Sonny says free for now, and Carly tells him the violence must end.

Paul says he came to interview Monica. Tracy says they have a guard by Monica’s room and no one gets in who isn’t on the list. And he’s not. He asks if a guard isn’t a little extreme, and she says she’s not taking any chances after Sabrrrina’s murder.

Ava tells Julian to let it be and focus on his own life. He talks about getting Alexis back and Ava tells him he’s out of his mind. She says he’d better get his survival instincts in overdrive, because everyone wants him dead. She tells him to neutralize Sonny before he neutralizes Julian. She has some ideas.

Morgan and Kiki come into the restaurant. Ava asks if Kiki wants to congratulate her uncle. Kiki says congrats on two successful murders. Ha-ha! That was perfect! Morgan and Julian make snide comments to each other. Ava tells them that a jury said Julian was innocent. Julian brings Sonny into it, and Morgan attacks him.

Nathan and Maxie go to Claudette’s room. Maxie says she doesn’t believe any child Claudette has is Nathan’s. Claudette says not everyone in his family has hardened their heart. Obrecht comes out, sniffling over some videos of Charlotte, and thanks Nathan for making her a grandmother. Maxie says Claudette only brought Nathan’s mother into it so she could use her, and she can’t believe Obrecht is falling for this. Obrecht says she was skeptical, but the spark of intelligence speaks to her, and Claudette knows better than to con her. Maxie says apparently not and they’re getting a DNA test.

Tracy asks if Paul doesn’t have a staff to do this, and he says he thought Monica might be more comfortable with him. Tracy goes to answer the door and Paul tucks the syringe away. Foiled again!

Griff asks if he can do anything. Michael says he already talked to his dad, and his mother didn’t approve of Sabrrrina. She thought Sabrrrina was using him and if anyone knows about using, its Carly. Speak of the devil, Carly and Sonny walk in. Sonny tells Michael it couldn’t have been easy to give Teddy up. He gives Michael a donation to fund a prenatal wing in Sabrrrina’s name. Sonny wants Michael to thank Carly too, since they thought of it together. Michael says it wasn’t given honestly; it’s about making Carly feel better. Sonny says he knows Michael is hurting, but he’s wrong about Carly.

Morgan finally gets off of Julian. The waitress threatens to call the police, and Kiki tells Morgan to get it together. Julian baits Morgan some more, but Kiki drags him away.

Claudette acts all shocked and offended about the DNA test. She says she’s not going to risk bringing Charlotte out in the open just so they can swab her cheek. Maxie says if Griff isn’t the father, it’s probably another clergy member Claudette defrocked and I laugh. Good dialogue today.

Griff leaves. Paul and Tracy have a drink. She tells him to put the verdict behind him and concentrate on what’s going on at the hospital. He sees all the pictures of Sabrrrina on the table. Tracy tells him that he has to catch the maniac who killed her and not let him escape like Julian did. Paul is totally spacing out and Tracy asks what’s wrong.

Julian tells Ava she was brilliant in manipulating Morgan. She says it was just a gentle nudge and might get Sonny off their backs. Julian says Morgan is definitely his father’s son, minus the self-control. Ava says the day will come when he’s no longer of consequence to any of them.

Carly and Sonny talk about Michael. Carly says she knows he’s just lashing out. They see Julian, who tells them Morgan is going to get into more trouble than he can handle. Sonny asks if Julian is threatening his son

Claudette gives Obrecht a lock of Charlotte’s hair that she keeps in a necklace. She tells Obrecht to run the test quickly, because Charlotte needs her father’s protection, and without it, they’re both as good as dead.

Girff says we conceal sadness and grief because they’re not desirable in our society, but if you hang onto them for too long, it turns against you. He says Sabrrrina is dead, but Michael’s mother is still alive, and there’s no reason to lose both of them.

Tracy asks Paul what’s up, and he says he can’t help her. She says he’s the DA and good at his job. He says twelve people just decided he isn’t, and he can’t do anything about it. He storms out.

Morgan acts all stupid and Kiki tries to calm him down. She tells him stop it or she’s out of there. She says it’s the same slimy stuff Julian has been saying for years, and he’s still falling for it. Morgan argues that Julian is a horrible excuse for a human being, but Kiki says him assaulting him isn’t going to help. Morgan says something has to be done.

Julian tells Sonny his son is out of control. Sonny says maybe he should stay out of his way and leave town. Julian says when Sonny dies, there will be nothing to tie it to him. Way to get Alexis back. Carly tells Ava to get Julian out of there. Julian won’t shut up and Ava pushes him out the door. He’s more like Morgan than he thinks.

Sonny tells Carly that she was right. This has to stop.

Tomorrow, Jason visits Franco, Sabrrrina’s funeral happens, and Dante has a lead.

September 21, 2016 – GH’s Hayden is Free & Little LA’s Elena is Trapped


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

A reporter tells us about the closing of the hospital. He says they claim it’s short term, but rumor has it they won’t be opening again. He adds that Mayor Lomax thinks they should have closed sooner and avoided more deaths. The reporter puts his mic in Epiphany’s face and she tells him to get out before she calls security. She talks to Dr Hardy’s picture, saying that she’s sorry and they tried.

Finn is taking a box of stuff out of his office. Tracy wonders if all he has is one box. He tells her that a lot of his research requires refrigeration and the mini-fridge at the MetroCourt isn’t going to cut it. She asks about his medication, and he says he has enough for a couple of weeks. She asks what he’s going to do after that.

Naomi visits Hayden in her cell. She asks when her mother was planning on telling her Jeff Webber was her father.

Elizabeth wonders if she has more siblings wandering around. Good question.

Franco tells Epiphany he’s sorry for her loss of Sabrrrina. She thanks him, but says she doesn’t have time to grieve right now. He suggests not telling Elizabeth about it yet.

Lulu and Dante arrive at the Quartermaine’s with a casserole. Lulu tells Michael how sorry she is. She asks about Teddy. Michael says he’s sleeping, but it’s hard to get him settled without his mom. Lulu says they can help with the funeral arrangements. Michael says he has to figure out what happens next, especially with Teddy. Lulu leaves to give him and Dante brother time.

Morgan comes in saying the cops aren’t doing anything about the murder and starts pinging off the walls.

Griff tells Maxie that closing GH is the only way the board could think of to keep people safe. She asks if he’s got a minute.

Nathan tells Claudette she’s nuts because there is no “us.” She tells him it’s about her and her daughter, and if he won’t help her, at least help her daughter. Nathan says she told him she didn’t want kids. She says she didn’t plan it, but when she got the results back she knew she’d love the baby more than anything, but she also wasn’t cut out to be a mom, so she sent her child to live with someone else. Nathan is angry because she lied. She says the only way she can keep her daughter safe is to keep her secret.

Griff says the last thing he can think about is Claudette, and tells Maxie about Julian being found not guilty. Maxie is like, whaaat? and asks what part of attempted throat-slitting is innocence. Griff explains about how the case fell apart and tells her about Sabrrrina’s murder. Nothing like throwing everything at her at once. Maxie asks what she can do, and Griff says, leave.

Tracy wants to make calls on Finn’s behalf. Finn says it’s time to face the fact that it’s a losing battle for him. She says she’s not going to lose another friend.

Morgan is all manic, saying Sonny needs to kick down doors and take names. Michael says this is no time for that, and Sabrrrina’s murderer must be found. Sabrrrina’s phone rings. It’s Elizabeth, who leaves a message wanting to know what happened with the diamonds.

Franco brings Elizabeth some water and he asks how it went with her father. She says she was leaving a message for Sabrrrina and she didn’t have it in her to call her dad. She says she’ll be losing the fairy tale of her parents’ marriage and part of her father too, and she can’t stand to lose anything else right now. Well, this is going to be some bad timing.

Hayden tells Naomi that if Elizabeth had known they were sisters, she might not be here. Naomi says she thought she was protecting her. She says Raymond Berlin is the father who loved her, and growing up with him afforded her every opportunity. Hayden says it afforded Naomi those opportunities too, and she didn’t keep the secret for Hayden, but for herself.

Nathan asks who Claudette is keeping her daughter safe from, the guy in prison? She says he takes care of things for important people and she got involved in one of his shadier operations. It was one compromise after another and she finally decided to walk away. When he found out she had a child, he threatened her, finding out where her daughter was by tracking the money sent to her. He said if he couldn’t have Claudette, he’d harm her daughter.

Hayden says if Richard found out about Naomi’s cheating, she would have been thrown out on the street. She says that must be why he didn’t want to see her in prison – he found out the truth and just stopped any contact with her. Hayden asks if he threatened divorce and if that’s why Naomi turned state’s evidence. Naomi says no, and leaves to check if the lawyers are there.

Epiphany comes in to prep Elizabeth for her trip to Mercy Hospital. Epiphany explains to her about the hospital shutting down. Elizabeth doesn’t want to go. Franco suggests they let her go home and have a private nurse. He leaves with Epiphany. In the hallway he thanks her for not saying anything, but Epiphany says they have to tell Elizabeth about Sabrrrina before she finds out from someone else. Yeah, like Nurse Amy.

Morgan tells Michael the killer better hope the cops get to him before Sonny does. Dante tells him to get his head straight and not be ranting and raving about revenge. Michael needs his support. Michael brings Teddy in, saying he misses his mother. We can tell by the way Teddy is transfixed by the light fixture.

Joe rings the bell at the Quartermaines’ and asks to come in. Michael asks why he’s there and he says he’s there for his nephew.

Franco tells Epiphany that Elizabeth has healing to do, and he doesn’t want to jeopardize her recovery. Epiphany asks if he really thinks he can keep it from her.

As he gets in the elevator, Tracy tells Finn she won’t allow him to give up on himself. She tells him she needs him to believe he can find a cure. He says there’s always hope. The elevator doors close.

Michael introduces Carrrlos’s brother to everyone. Morgan asks why he’s there. Joe says he’s Teddy’s closest living relative and he’s sure there were no legal arrangements. He asks if Michael was appointed Teddy’s legal guardian in the event of Sabrrrina’s death. Morgan gets in Joe’s face and Joe says Michael is nothing to Teddy. Morgan punches him.

Claudette says she knew the guy could make her disappear, so she disappeared on her own, hiring someone to erase her tracks. Nathan asks why she thinks he can help. She says she knows he’s a stand up guy and that he’d protect his family at all costs. Nathan asks if the daughter is his.

Finn tells Roxie that her daddy is unemployed again. He says she’ll be seeing more of him, but the way things are going, it might not be for much longer. He says he’ll find her a good home, maybe with Josslyn. He goes through his stuff and finds an old letter from his dead wife.

An agent tells Hayden that she’s free to go. He says her mother told them everything, and they have no more reason to detain her. Naomi tells her she told them the truth, that she took the diamonds and hid them in Hayden’s things.

Tracy walks in as Joe is telling Morgan he doesn’t want his nephew growing up around someone like him. Tracy says she has her lawyers working on keeping Teddy in the home he knows. Joe says he’ll fight her. Tracy says she’ll drag it out indefinitely and take away whatever legal visitation he’s given. Joe says he’ll fight her for as long as it takes. Michael says there won’t be a fight.

Claudette admits Nathan is the father. She says she found out she was pregnant after he filed for divorce and she didn’t want to be accused of doing it on purpose. He asks how she knows it’s not Griff’s baby.

Epiphany tells Griff about how she yelled at Sabrrrina once and now she’ll never get the chance to tell her what a fine nurse she was. Elizabeth overhears. She says it’s not true, but Franco says it is and holds her.

Claudette says she and Griff were careful, but she and Nathan weren’t. I guess that settles it then. Just as good as a DNA test. She shows him a picture of their daughter, Charlotte. Nathan says he has to think about this and talk to Maxie. Claudette says the fewer the people who know, the safer Charlotte will be, but Nathan says he can’t keep this secret from Maxie. She tells him to keep the picture so he remembers who he’s fighting for.

Michael says he could tie Joe up forever in court, but it wouldn’t be fair to Teddy. He grew up in the middle of a custody fight and doesn’t want to make Teddy a prize in a war that nobody wins. He asks everyone else to leave. Morgan asks if he’s sure about this, and Michael says he is. Everyone acts like they’ll never see Teddy again.

Joe thanks Michael for being reasonable. Michael says he’s doing it for Teddy and Sabrrrina.

Back in her hospital bed, Elizabeth tells Franco about how happy Sabrrrina was. She wants to go home and see her boys. Franco says people are getting her house ready as they speak. They kiss.

Naomi tells Hayden not to cry. She’ll be fine as long as she knows Hayden is free from the lies that have plagued their family. She tells Hayden to promise not to let her heart be held prisoner by lies. She says Hayden isn’t as alone as she thinks, and she needs to stay where she is.

Finn tells Roxie about the letter, and how his wife asked him to fight on, so she wouldn’t die in vain. He says he failed her and couldn’t even save himself. He starts to cry and then gets crazy, throwing everything around the room, including the furniture.

Franco wheels Elizabeth out of the hospital. It’s all quiet and dark, and he tells her she’s the last one out. She asks for a moment alone where the photographs are.

In the chapel, Griff tells Epiphany it’s clear Sabrrrina was loved and will never be forgotten. She asks him to pray with her. He starts The Lord’s Prayer, and we hear his words over the other scenes.

Maxie asks Nathan if everything is okay, and he says they need to talk.

Claudette tells Charlotte’s photo that everything is going to be all right, and that Nathan will make sure they’re safe.

Naomi is put in handcuffs. Hayden calls Finn and leaves a message that she’s a free woman. She says she could use a friend and asks him to call her back.

Michael tells Teddy he loves him. He says Teddy won’t remember him, but he’ll always be thinking about him and wishing him well. He says if Teddy ever needs him, he promises to be there. What is up with this? I thought Joe had…oh, GH is closed. Joe comes back in and says they’re ready. He tells Michael that he’s doing the right thing.

Griff finishes the prayer. He and Epiphany say amen.

Elizabeth asks Franco to take her home. GH is totally silent. They get into the elevator and the door closes.

Tomorrow, Sonny talks to Morgan, Kiki talks to Carly, Claudette wants to talk to Griff, and Nathan talks to Maxie about Charlotte.

Little Women: LA

Elena’s mother and sister have come from Russia to see the babies. It’s going to be Elena’s birthday soon, so they’re planning a quiet celebration as well. She asks her mother if she’d like more grandchildren, which she would. In her interview, Elena says right now it’s like a casino in the house, since she’s up all night and things are going on all the time. The slot machines only give you poopy diapers though.

Christy and her mother go down some weird giant slide on the side of a building. I’m not sure what the purpose is, since the slide isn’t all that long and only takes about three seconds. Christy tells her mother about the photo shoot and how she had Plastic meet her there. She says she doesn’t feel badly for ruining the photo shoot; Tonya did that. She exaggerates what Tonya said to Plastic. I can’t even believe I’m writing that name.

They discuss Christy’s father’s health issues. His kidneys are failing and might kill him before the cancer. Christy’s mother isn’t accepting it though. They’ve been married 52 years and she wants to believe he’ll get better.

Tonya and Terra go to a DIY car wash. Tonya has her hair down and it looks amazing – we rarely see it like that. In her interview, she says washing a car is difficult for little people and she should have left it to the professionals. Well, maybe if they’d quit chasing each other with the hoses it would be easier.

Terra tells Tonya that Preston wants to plan a surprise party for Elena’s birthday and rent a yacht. Tonya asks who he’s inviting and Terra says she hopes he’s going to be selective. Tonya says knowing Preston, he’ll probably invite everyone. She brings up Christy and Plastic at the photo shoot. She says she feels badly for some of the things she said to Plastic, but for Christy to drag her into Briana’s business isn’t right. She tells Terra that if Christy comes to the party, she’s going to have words with her.

Terra and Joe go to a signing class. OMG – Penny is so cute! A pudgy, curly red-headed cherub. Since Achons develop differently, they want another option for communication. Joe thinks she should learn how to sign things like “hang loose,” but Terra nixes that idea.

They’ve also found a new house, but the seller doesn’t want to move out. Joe wonders if Christy is the realtor. Terra is annoyed because they’re paying a mortgage and rent. If the seller hasn’t moved out by the weekend, they’ll have to start eviction proceedings. Ugh!

Briana and Tonya want to get Elena something unique for her birthday, so they’ve decided to make her a blown glass ornament. It’s really a cool process to watch. Afterward, they discuss Briana’s new baby. Briana says it was a rough delivery – she was as wide as she is tall – and she’s relieved that it’s over. Briana asks what’s going on with the girls, and Tonya tells her about the photo shoot. She says they gave Christy the benefit of the doubt and invited her, and then she brought Plastic into the picture. In her interview, Briana says that she and Plastic met when they were both at the publicist’s office, and Plastic tried to piggyback onto Briana’s fame. Briana says Christy probably thought she was going to be at the photo shoot and she’s sorry Tonya had to field that. Tonya tells her that Christy will most likely be at Elena’s party.

Christy goes to therapy. Sounds like a children’s book. She wants advice for dealing with the mean girls. She tells the therapist about how she horned in on Tonya’s photo shoot by bringing Plastic there. The therapist asks if she could have done something differently to rectify the situation, but Christy just gives more excuses as to why this was a brilliant move. In her interview, it’s obvious she’s not really listening to the therapist. The therapist says it’s easy to walk away, but she’s there to make changes, so try to do something different. Yeah, like keeping your nose to yourself.

Joe and Terra are meeting with the realtor and a locksmith to try and get into the house. If the previous owner is there though, they won’t be able to break in. I’m kind of not getting this. If they closed, it’s their house now, isn’t it? They discuss what they’re going to say if the seller is there. Joe says he’s nervous because she might be in there doing weird things. Terra starts to cry and says he’s acting like it’s a big joke. He says nothing about the process has been normal. In her interview, Terra says their American dream has turned into a nightmare. She says she can’t even make a nursery in the house and she just wants to move in. Joe says they will, and she cries some more about him treating it like a joke. In his interview, he says he’s just trying to lighten the mood.

The realtor brings flowers and says welcome home. I guess we’ll see. Joe says if the seller is in there, he’ll be happy to chuck a glass at her head, but Terra says she doesn’t need any more police reports. The realtor is nervous and everyone goes up the walk like they’re going to a guillotine.

Joe rings the bell. And then hides behind Terra. There’s no answer, so the locksmith is allowed to go to work. The screen door is locked, so they go around to the back. Terra says she won’t feel good about the situation until they’re moved in. The locksmith looks through the window and the seller’s stuff is still in there. There are two guest houses and Terra is worried she might end up with a tenant too.

They go to a guest house and someone answers the door. They explain the situation, and Joe says the seller has all their money and this is their house now. The tenants clearly have no idea what’s been going on. Joe says if the seller doesn’t leave, they’ll need to have a cop drag her out in 30 days. Terra is pretty upset, but glad they didn’t bring Penny. They put up notice to quit signs.

Briana and Matt go out to eat. Briana tells Matt about the photo shoot and Christy bringing Plastic there. Matt says there’s something seriously wrong with Christy. They agree his whatever with Plastic was over and done with long ago, and they were done discussing it back then. Matt says Christy plays the victim, but brings it on herself. Briana says Christy’s madness has only brought them closer together. Ride or die and all that. She tells Matt that Christy will probably be at Elena’s party.

Everyone gathers on the yacht. Briana talks about Baby Maverick. In her interview, she says she hopes Christy can swim, since she might be going overboard. Tonya talks about the photo shoot and how Christy claimed she was proving her point. Matt says he and Briana were over the Plastic thing, and now Christy is trying to divide and conquer. Joe calls her a piece of <bleep!>. Tonya is pissed about Christy trying to include her in the mess.

Christy and Todd are the last to arrive. Before anyone can insult anyone else, Joe gets a text from Preston saying they’re almost there. Jasmine is the only one who even says hello to Christy. Preston brings Elena to the dock blindfolded and everyone yells surprise. In her interview, Elena is annoyed because she didn’t want to spend her birthday trapped on a boat while the babies are at home.

Terra asks Elena what’s wrong and she says nothing. She says if Terra wants to talk about it, talk to someone else. In her interview, Terra says she knows Elena is weird about her birthday, but this is the most depressed she’s seen her in forever. Elena cries in the bathroom, and Tonya says this isn’t exactly what they had in mind. She tells Elena she’s a new mommy and her family is here, and she should be celebrating. Elena finally comes back out, but she eats dinner with her family on the lower deck.

The rest of the girls have drinks on the upper deck. Tonya asks to talk to Christy. She tells her she apologizes to Plastic, but didn’t appreciate Christy bringing her to the photo shoot and how they took over trying to prove their point. She says when she asked Plastic to leave, Plastic called her a bitch. Christy goes on about the things Tonya said. Tonya says she’s not interested in Briana and Matt’s situation, and Christy needs to keep her nose out of it. Christy continues to focus on what Tonya said to Plastic, and they start shouting and wagging their fingers in each other’s faces. In her interview, Christy once again acts like the wronged one. Christy tells Briana she has autism, but I’m not sure what that’s about. I think it’s supposed to be an insult, but, really? She keeps saying it too. Maybe she’s confusing it with something else. Matt gets up and tells Christy she’s sick and needs to go. Todd tries to interject, and Matt tells him to deal with his own business. In her interview, Tonya says this heifer is about to become a sea cow, and I laugh.

Todd and Christy leave. I don’t know if the boat was already at the dock or it went back because of them. Matt says they’re batsh*t crazy. I dunno about that, but they certainly have some serious problems.

Next time, the girls learn belly dancing, Joe and Terra go into the new house, Christy complains to her mother, and Tonya and Jasmine argue.

September 20, 2016 – GH Gets a Verdict, Loving Wrong Gets a Bloodbath & Below Deck Gets a Poodle

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan goes to Claudette’s room. He doesn’t want small talk, espresso, or a walk down Memory Lane. He just wants to know what she wants. She tells him she’s in trouble and he’s the only one who can help.

Scotty is outside on the phone talking to a reporter about the prosecution’s case falling apart and how he didn’t even need to put Julian on the stand. Griff overhears him and tells Scotty that he’s Duke’s son. He wants to know what happened.

Olivia confronts Alexis while she’s trying to have coffee, and accuses her of being drunk on the stand. She tells Alexis that her actions might set Julian free.

Ava visits Julian in his cell, and tells him the jury will do the right thing and let him go.

Carly asks Sonny how Michael is. Sonny tells her he’s staying at the Quartermaines. Carly tells him how badly she feels about what told Michael about Sabrrrina. She said she didn’t think they belonged together, but certainly didn’t wish her any harm. Sonny wonders who would be heartless enough to murder her.

Paul is! Dillon sees him sitting in an empty courtroom and asks if everything is okay. Paul says no, it’s not, and he did a bad thing.

Alexis tells Olivia if she’s going to berate her, at least sit down. Olivia says it’s all over the news that Alexis was drunk, but Alexis says she only had one glass of wine. Something was wrong and she doesn’t know what or why. She asks if the news told Olivia how the confession she risked her life for was tossed out. Olivia asks Alexis to make her understand.

Ava tells Julian not to be a pessimist. His fate is in the hands of a jury who never heard his confession, only Alexis’s convoluted testimony. Julian wonders why she isn’t surprised. She says Alexis has always been a mess and finally cracked, and maybe the stars aligned just for him. Julian says maybe someone gave the stars a push. Ava says if everything works out, she’ll owe him big. Quid pro quo.

Dillon asks Paul to be more specific. Paul says if Julian goes free, it’s his fault. Dillon tells Paul about Sabrrrina being killed at GH and that the hospital is closing. Paul says it will have serious repercussions throughout the city, but Dillon says the board thinks it’s the best way to keep everyone safe. Dillon says he’d appreciate it if Paul would reassure Tracy that he’s doing everything in his power to catch the killer. Paul says he will.

Sonny says he thinks Sabrrrina found something out about the hospital killer and was silenced. Carly says it’s not his fault, and he promised her the killing stops now.

Nathan asks Claudette how her being in trouble makes it different from every other day. She says for the record, none of this was her fault. She says after they split up – he corrects her, saying she cheated on him and he left – she hooked up with the wrong, dangerous man. Nathan tells her about there being no online record of her. He asks for the guy’s name and she says he’s in prison. Nathan laughs about her getting involved with a cop, a priest and a crook. (A cop, a priest and a crook walk into Claudette…) She says the guy was following her from prison and she made herself untraceable, but it didn’t work. She saw Nathan’s engagement announcement and thought he could help her. She thought that it would be easier if they rekindled things, but she realized that playing games wasn’t going to get her anywhere. She goes on about him being a good guy and the memories coming back. He tells her to stop spinning the same line and asks if she’s forgotten about Griff, because he hasn’t.

Scotty tells Griff that nobody knows anything until the jury has its say. Griff says as far as he knew, there was a strong case against Julian. Scotty says he’s not the one Griff should be talking to. Griff wants to know how Scotty got around the taped confession. Scotty passes the buck to Alexis or Sonny.

Sonny says the killer has to be stopped before it happens again. Carly says let the professionals handle it and he says yeah, the same ones who just screwed up Julian’s trial. She wants him to promise not to take the law into his own hands.

Ava tells Julian that she performed a miracle. He hopes she didn’t perform one too many miracles today, and asks if she had anything to do with Sabrrrina getting killed. She says her hands are clean there, and she was going to ask him about that. She says it’s tragic and sad, but it helped his case. He says Sabrrrina’s death could be the reason he gets convicted.

Ava’s not following him. She says Sabrrrina not testifying is a good thing. He says juries aren’t ignorant and they know who he is. He thinks they’ll believe he had something to do with it. He wishes he’d started thinking differently a long time ago. If he had, none of this would be happening. He wishes he’d never told Alexis his secrets. A little late for that.

Alexis says it was like she was watching herself and she couldn’t comprehend what Paul was saying. Olivia says the nightmare is just beginning if the verdict is not guilty, because Julian can’t be tried again. He’ll be free to show up at her door and Alexis’s door and anybody else’s door he wants to show up at. She tells Alexis that he married her and tried to kill her; he has no morals or ethics and all he cares about is himself. He doesn’t even care about Leo.

Carly tells Sonny if he goes after Julian, Ava will return the fire, and what if another family gets involved? The best way to stop it is to not start it. Sonny tells her to drop it, but she says there’s too much at stake. She doesn’t want to wonder about retaliation. She wants him to promise that if Julian is found not guilty, he’ll let it go.

Paul says he’ll do whatever he can to resolve the hospital situation. He thanks Dillon for coming to him, saying he understands things have been strained between them. Dillon admits he said some harsh things about Paul’s ambition, but he’s proud of his work as DA. Paul apologizes for not being there when Dillon grew up. Dillon says they can’t change past, but they can make a better future.

The jury has reached a verdict. Everyone gets a text.

Scotty tells Paul he looks a little pasty and should have gone outside. Paul says some of us have work to do. Scotty probably is the laziest lawyer in the world. Any time he wins a case, it’s just pure luck. Everyone trickles back into the courtroom. Ava asks Alexis how she’s doing, and Olivia tells her to leave Alexis alone. Olivia asks if Ava can not be a bitch for like 30 seconds, and Ava says she just wants justice served. Alexis says her too. Everyone makes soap opera faces at each other in the courtroom

Claudette says she didn’t know Griff lived in Port Charles until she saw him, and then the feelings came back. Nathan says, oh, like the feelings for him. She says that’s not the issue – the bottom line is she’s in trouble and needs help. Nathan says she’s not going to get it from him.

The judge asks for the verdict. I hold my breath. Probably Julian is too. And everyone else. The judge shakes her head a little and takes an incredible amount of time, enough for everyone to make as many soap opera faces as they want.

The judge asks if all jury members agree with each count. They do. Solicitation: not guilty; theft of evidence: not guilty; obstruction of justice: not guilty; not going well; conspiracy to commit murder of Duke: not guilty. Carly yells, no! and the judge says no more outbursts. No surprise the verdicts for both Carrrlos’s murder and the attempted murder of Alexis are not guilty. Olivia gets up and yells that he’s guilty of everything and they all know it.

Claudette tells Nathan to listen to her. He tells her that’s all he’s done since they’ve known each other. He says it’s been endless lies since she got to Port Charles. He says she ruined his life before and wanted to do it again. He tells her to go to the authorities, but never contact him again. She says if he won’t do it for her, do it for us.

Again, the judge says no more outbursts. She releases the jury and tells Julian he’s free. Alexis leaves the courtroom in tears and sobs in the hallway. Olivia goes out to help her. Alexis says she needs to be alone and runs off.

Scotty pats himself on the back and Julian thanks him. Julian doesn’t look too happy though. Scotty tells Paul he put up a good fight and maybe next time. Dillon tells Paul he’s sorry and knows Paul did what he could. Paul wants to be alone too. Ava hugs Julian, saying how happy she is, and thanks Scotty. Scotty says they have some formalities to take care of and then Julian can go home. Ava hugs Julian, whispering in his ear that he owes her.

Sonny, Carly and Julian are left in the courtroom. Sonny looks at Julian ominously. I have the feeling he’s not going to keep his promise.

Claudette says she’s desperate. Nathan says she’s crazy and there is no “us.” She says she’s talking about her and her daughter. Thought it was going to be something like that.

Olivia tells Dillon this is a real mess, which is an understatement.

Alexis is at the bar talking to herself. She’s going over her testimony as it should have been, playing both parts. She says that’s all the jury needed to hear, but she couldn’t say what she needed to say. She asks for another drink.

Ava sees Paul outside. She thanks him for a job well done. She tells him there’s a letter in someone’s possession that will go to the authorities if she meets with any accident. He says how magnanimous of her. She says she doesn’t get why he’d kill complete strangers. He says she wouldn’t understand and she says try her. He says no, but he understands her better than he realized, and her need to protect her brother. He says family is supposed to take care of family, and she says she pegged him as a lone wolf. He tells her she’d be surprised. She tells him to stop while he’s ahead and get out of town before someone else figures out what he’s done.

Griff prays for his family, relatives and friends. He prays that his father has peace in God’s presence, and that his family has peace and is united to live a life that glorifies God. He prays for mercy for those who brought harm to his father and says in the end, only God can pass final judgment. He adds that in the end, he knows there will be justice.

Scotty and Julian wrap it up at court. Julian tells Sonny he wanted justice and it got served. Sonny tells him it will be when he sees Julian in hell.

Tomorrow, Finn goes nuts, Joe tells Morgan that Michael is nothing to Teddy (and it looks like Morgan punches him out) and Epiphany apologizes to Dr. Hardy’s photo.

If Loving You is Wrong

Travis continues to force himself on Kelly. She says he’s not going to take advantage of her. He wants her to beg like she made him beg. She keeps apologizing and saying anything to get him off of her. Justice comes out on the porch and asks if his mother is okay. Travis says she made a mistake and daddy is going to forgive her. Kelly herds the kids back into the house and shuts the door behind her.

Justice asks if Kelly is all right and if Travis hurt her. She says everything is fine. She sends the kids back to bed. After they’re out of the room, she sobs by the kitchen sink and creepy Travis knocks on the window. Ew! He’s tracing hearts on it or something. She calls the police and he slips away into the night. Wait, he’s slipping past the windows. Why is it taking so long for someone to pick up at 911? Finally, he drives away and Kelly puts the phone down. Maybe she was just pretending to call.

Esperanza asks Julius what he’s doing in jail. He says he got arrested and she says good. She asks Andrew what happened and Andrew says drinking and driving. He asks if she knows him and if he’s who he says he is. She says yes, and be careful.

Ben calls Andrew an idiot for arresting a cartel. A whole cartel? It’s just Julius. Ben tells Andrew that Julius is the leader now that his father is dead. Ben asks if Julius wants some coffee, but Julius says he just wants out. Ben says he’ll make that happen and apologizes for Andrew’s incompetence. Julius asks Ben about his hand. Julius says he knows Ben and asks if he was shot. They have some weird exchange and Julius tells Ben to get his coffee.
Andrew asks what the blip Ben is doing. He says Julius refused a breathalyzer. Ben doesn’t listen to him and gives Julius the coffee. Julius says Andrew needs to know who people are around here and Ben says he does. Esperanza tells Ben to get a move on. He and Julius say they’ll talk.

Julius tries to get Esperanza to engage. She says she doesn’t want to talk to him and he says she just did. BA-DUM-CHH! Then he tells her how great she looks and she says she knows. Everyone is very sassy today.

It’s Randal in a box! He asks if someone is there and says he can hear them. The voice of Alex’s father asks if he likes being in the box. Randal starts to freak and yell for help and Rusty says no help is coming.

Alex is still freaking out after her encounter with a bloody Louise. She calls Lushion and leaves a message. No wonder she got herself into this position in the first place. Apparently, she’s not very bright. She keeps saying she can’t. Can’t what? Call an ambulance? Finally, she calls 911 and tells Esperanza her baby has been kidnapped. Holy Christmas, is she not going to say anything about Louise??? Esperanza asks what happened and Alex says he’s gone. She asks if Alex is hurt and if she should send an ambulance. Alex says she’s not hurt, but to send an ambulance for Randal’s mother. Esperanza says a car and an ambulance are on the way, and asks how Louise got hurt. Alex says she doesn’t know. She says she heard a noise and went outside, but she’s hard to understand because she’s crying and keeps saying I don’t know. Esperanza asks if she thinks Randal took her son, but she doesn’t know that either. She says the baby was in his car seat on the table and when she came back, the door was open and he was gone.

Esperanza tells her the police are on their way, but Alex wants to leave. She explains where Louise is and says it’s all her fault. Esperanza says she’s on a recorded line and if she understands. She asks again where Louise is and for some other details. When Esperanza asks what Louise is wearing, I’m thinking Alex should say “blood,” but Alex really doesn’t know much of anything. I don’t know why Esperanza keeps asking where Louise is. The living room, okay? And how many bloody people does she think they’ll find that they need to weed Louise out? She asks if Alex can go next door, but she says she can’t, she needs to go. She hangs up.

There’s a knock at Kelly’s door. She thinks it’s Travis, but it’s Alex. This town doesn’t seem all that big, so I’m wondering what’s taking the police so long. Alex tells her something happened and she needs Kelly to go to her house and stay with the kids. Alex says he took the baby and babbles incoherently. She tells Kelly the police are coming and drives away. Kelly yells, “What’s happening!” like that kid in Poltergeist.

Meanwhile, back at the aftermath of the shootout, Lushion tells Natalie that he’ll take the kids to her mother’s house and hustles her away. Steven says there’s one dead and two wounded and he wants a statement from Lushion. Eddie pops out of nowhere and Lushion gets livid, asking what he’s doing there. Lushion leaves and Steven asks Eddoe if he knows the kid and tells him to wipe the smile off his face. He tells Eddie to keep pushing him and he’s going to find out what can happen. Eddie tells him to walk away and he does. Eddie tells the dead kid that he’s lucky because he was going to blast him, and thanks for saving him the trouble. Steven tells him to have some respect. I’m guessing the dead kid is the one who tried to rob Faun, since it sounds like she and Joey went to the hospital.

Brad gets home and Marcie asks where he’s been. He says he went for a drive and she asks if that’s why his boots are muddy. He says he got stuck in the mud. She asks about his drive and he says he went to some mountain to look at the stars. She asks if he was alone and he says she wouldn’t have gone with him. She asks how he would know and he says let’s go now. She has to work in the morning, but tells him not to assume she’d say no. He says one minute she’s throwing him out and the next she’s flirting with him. He says while he was driving, he wondered if this all happened so they could be together, and what if this is all about them? Marcie says their spouses had an affair and lied to them about their baby, and now the two exes are living together. She says it’s too much drama and she doesn’t want it to be her narrative. He suggests they rewrite it and move somewhere else. Marcie thinks they should just leave well enough alone. She tells him she found some places he might like.

He says he stayed out as late as he could, hoping she’d be asleep when he got back. He asks why she’s up anyway and she says she ate something funky. He asks if she needs anything, but she says no. They half-smile at each other and he wants her to sit next to him. He says he just wants to talk, but she says that’s not what his eyes are telling her and tells him goodnight. He tells her she’d better lock the door. We hear it lock after she closes it. Brad looks grim. Just wait.

Kelly gets a collect call from prison. In Ohio. Is that where they are? No name or anything. I guess it’s Justice’s father. He asks how Justice is and what she told him about his father. She says not much and he gets specific, asking if Justice knows he’s in jail. She says no, and he tells her he’s up for probation and he wants to come live with her. He wants to be a father to Justice. She’s like, we can’t pick up from nine years ago. They have 30 seconds and he asks her to think about it. He says he’ll see her soon. Not if she sees you first.

Esperanza calls Kelly and asks what’s going on. She tells Esperanza about Alex being all crazy. Esperanza tells her the baby and Randal are missing and something happened to Louise. Kelly assumes Randal took the baby and says she knew something crazy was going to happen. Esperanza asks if she heard anything like screaming or banging, but Kelly says she was asleep until Alex barged in. She says that Alex left in her car and Esperanza asks if Kelly can talk to the police when they get there. Kelly wants to go watch the kids, but Esperanza tells her Louise is hurt and to please go over to Randal’s place.

Kelly takes the phone with her and says she never knew so much drama would be going on in this neighborhood. Esperanza suggests Kelly get Ramsey to go with her, but she says he hasn’t spoken to her since their misunderstanding. I finally find out how to spell his name, but I like Ramses better. Esperanza says this isn’t about her and to get over there. Kelly sees a note on Ramsey’s door saying he’s gone back to Utah. She tells Esperanza he’s not there. Esperanza tells her to call him, but she says no. She leaves out the part about the note and says she’ll call Esperanza back.

Kelly calls Ramsey, but the number is no longer in service. Kelly tells Esperanza that Ramsey didn’t answer and he’s gone back to Utah. Esperanza says she needs for Kelly to check on Louise and the police will be there any second. In my world, it’s been nearly an hour since the they were called. Kelly sees a trail of blood going into (or out of) Randal’s house. A lot of blood. She follows it, telling Esperanza it’s all over the place. Esperanza tells her to keep going and asks where the blood leads. Kelly says she doesn’t want to know. Esperanza says she needs to know where the trail leads, saying the baby could be hurt. No emergency operator in their right mind would asks a civilian to do this. Kelly says the blood is coming out of Marcie and Randal’s house. She says the door is kicked in and she can’t go in there. Esperanza tells her to go in, but Kelly says she’s waiting for the police. Esperanza tells her to look in and tell her what she sees. A bloody hand sticks out from behind an ottoman.

Kelly tells Esperanza she sees a bloody body.

Next time, Andrew threatens to go to the captain, Justice’s father bugs Kelly some more, Esperanza tells Eddie his days are numbered, and Julius asks Ben if he wants someone killed.

Below Deck

The crew gets ready for a new charter. Nico video chats with a girlfriend and complains about his altercation with Trevor. Kelley does exercises. He wants to keep Trevor motivated, but he’s still going to have to deal with his attitude. Ben makes another amazing breakfast. Nico talks to Sierra about what happened with Trevor. Trevor stumbles out of bed. In his interview, he does that “we were all drunk” thing that I hate. No. You were drunk.

Trevor sits down to breakfast and there’s silence. In his interview, Kelley says that crossing personal boundaries, even in your off time, is uncool. Kate tells Emily about what happened. Frankly, I think Trevor is a few bricks short of a load.

Lauren asks Nico how sleeping in the guest quarters was, and he jokes champagne popping. He wonders how the argument even started in the first place, and why Trevor felt the need to be insulting when they were supposed to be relaxing.

Emily burns a sheet because she left the iron on. Kate isn’t mad, but doesn’t want it happening again and thinks they might need a needlepoint sampler with instructions on the back of the door.

The primary guests also own yachts. There are two couples, some friends, and a poodle named Scupper. Ben isn’t thrilled about cooking for a dog. The guests want to have a clam bake, which Ben isn’t thrilled about either.

Ben says he’s making a nine-course tasting menu for the dog and Kate suggests they focus on the dog and give the guests the leftovers. Captain Lee informs them that the clam bake will be at 4:30 because at dusk, the bugs come out. Ben wants to call it an early dinner so the guests won’t want dinner later.

Kelley calls Trevor to the deck. He says Trevor’s behavior was unacceptable and he’s no longer a senior deckhand. He’s not allowed to boss anyone around. From now on, he just does the deck chores he’s supposed to. Kelley says if Trevor makes another misstep, he’s going to push for him to be gone. Trevor says he’s down, but not out. I’d call him a few clowns short of a circus.

Sierra tells Emily about how her father died when she was younger. She says everyone grieved in their own way and the family kind of drifted apart. In her interview, she tells us that she found what she needed in yachting.

Kelley tells Captain Lee about how he demoted Trevor. In his interview, the captain thinks Kelley is doing a great job.

The captain calls everyone on deck for a delivery. Whatever it is, it’s heavy

Scupper arrives! Douglas is the main dude after Scupper. Kate does the tour and asks the guests about their own yachts. Is this like a bus-man’s holiday? In her interview, Kate says she’s pretty sure Scupper gets treated better than 90% of the children in the US. Douglas asks to have Scupper’s tuxedo steamed. Douglas tells Kate not to stress Ben. He must have seen the show before.

They have to dock in a small marina and the wind is blowing against the yacht, making it harder. The guests concur that the captain knows his way around a boat. The crew takes the supplies to shore and Scupper throws up some yellow stuff. To his credit, Douglas offers to clean it up.

It’s time for the clam bake and I can’t stand it because I’d love to be a guest on this boat. These people don’t seem like heavy drinkers either, which is probably easier on the crew. The guests ask for dinner at nine when they haven’t even started on the clam bake. Apparently, the flies are being a pain and Ben apologizes. Ben thinks Kate must have called the clam bake something other than dinner when he finds out he has to cook another meal. She says there are three certain things – death, taxes and Ben getting angry when he has to cook food. She tells him even if she’d called it their last meal ever, they’d still get hungry later.

Ben gets testy and Kate explains to Sierra that he’s having a diva moment. Ben complains to Kelley about the guests thinking there’s going to be a sit-down dinner later. One of the guests picks up on Ben being pissed because of the dinner move up. Not a good look.

Sierra asks Trevor to ask Kelley for more trash bags. When Kelley tells him to say the magic word, Trevor gets angry and insults Kelley to the girls. Lauren tells him to let it go, but he says he’s going to f-ing lose it.

They get back to the boat and Ben says he’ll talk to the guests. Kate says he’s being a total d*ck and trying to do her job. Ben suggests it would be more fun to have something informal like a tapas option, and the guests are afraid of him, so they agree. Ben and Kate argue in the galley. He says if she can’t communicate with the guests, he will. Kelley suggests closing the galley door if they’re going to argue. Why? The guests are finding this very entertaining.

Douglas or whoever, helps prepare Scupper’s meal since Scupper also takes 75,000 supplements. The crew brings the supplies back and Kelley wants to talk to Trevor again. Kelley tells Trevor he’s the only problem Kelley has and next time just go with the flow.

I love the table setting! It’s very zen with colored glass pebbles all over. A guest asks for a gin and tonic, and Sierra asks if they want alcohol in that. He says, um, that would be the gin part. First up is a crab cake that I desperately want to taste. Seared tuna! One of the guests says something to Kate about Ben, and suggests they ask for a full breakfast at 6 am. Kate says they’re only there for two days so they should be able to eat what and when they want. Hear! Hear!

Captain Lee tells the crew to get ready for departure. Trevor sits around looking at his feet. The water is incredibly blue and beautiful, as is the day. Scupper is having the time of his life. Eggs Benedict Florentine with turkey bacon! Ben asks Kate if they’re happy and she says the only one who isn’t happy is him.Captain Lee says he needs four shots dropped and I get out the Wild Turkey. Scupper has to make poopie, which Trevor calls using the restroom, because he’s a few beers short of a six-pack.

Ben asks Kate to make an agreement. She tells him see you next Tuesday, and he says she’s a Tuesday. She says she’s a Tuesday every day of the week. In his interview, Ben says he hates arguing with her because he can’t ruffle her and basically she’s better at it.

The crew is trying to set up some kind of pool thing – the thing that was delivered at the beginning of the episode. It’s got some kind of net so the guests can swim without coming in contact with sea creatures. Okay, but isn’t that part of the fun?

Scupper dresses in his tux for dinner – seafood on a heavenly cloud. Kelley calls his sister, Amy, who is on another boat with a captain she’s dating. We flash back to when she was on the show. He tells her about Trevor and his altercation with Nico. She says something about three dudes in a hot tub arguing over a tattoo and it sounds like the start of a joke. Or a porn movie.

Dessert is I don’t know what, some kind of fluffy, frothy thing in a tall coffee glass. Just keep ’em comin’. Some of the guests use the hot tub and Kate texts her girlfriend. The guests ask Trevor to have a shot. In his interview, he says what’s one shot to a guy like him who can drink a whole bottle? Because he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Emily says this is a huge no-no, but she’s not into tattling.

The last breakfast is so good, there isn’t even conversation because everyone is concentrating on eating. Time to go. The guests are pleased and glad they could just kick back without having to deal with their own boats. When the crew cleans up, Trevor examines his feet again. Because he’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Captain Lee gathers everyone for tip time. He suggests they work on communication. Ben says it’s diabolical. The haul is $12,000 or $1,085 a piece. They can go out tonight, but tomorrow’s a work day. The crew tries to get as much done as possible before relaxing. Emily does some yoga on the deck and Kelley reminds us that it’s been five months. I remind him that I don’t want to know.

The crew goes out for dinner on shore. Lauren makes a toast and says let’s get weird. Trevor chugs a martini and gives Kate hair advice because he was a Paul Mitchell model. The crew plays on a swingset while Trevor orders 10 different drinks. He falls off of a swing that’s totally still.

Kelley chats up Emily, who is newly single. They play a large-sized game of Jenga. In his interview, Ben says Trevor is past his inebriated threshold. Trevor calls Kate a bitch and Ben says he’s the only one allowed to do that. Trevor tells him to chill out. At this point, Trevor is so incoherent, there are subtitles. Ben tells him no more for you.

Next time, a charter of entrepreneurs, Ben stresses over a 12-course tasting menu, the hot tub overflows on Trevor’s watch, and Trevor argues with Kelley (and might possibly be going home).

September 19, 2016 – GH Wraps Up a Trial & the OC Wives Wrap Up Their Feuds…For Now


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis steps off the stand and keels over. Julian rushes to help her, since defendants can just jump up from their seats and go anywhere in the courtroom . Sam leads her away and Paul asks for a few minutes. They take a recess. Scotty tells Julian he’s doing a great concerned husband act. Julian says it’s not an act. Sonny tells Paul to get him on the stand. He wants to clean up this mess. He’s cleaned up every other mess this year so far; why not this one?

Griff meets Claudette at The Floating Rib.

Maxie is going crazy trying to find her seating chart. Nathan comes into the office. Nina says he’s there on official business.

Michael tells Carly what happened to Sabrrrina. She says she’s sorry and he says, don’t even.

Alexis says she doesn’t understand what’s going on. Sam wants to take her home, but she wants to go back in and fix it.

Julian wants to see how Alexis is doing. Scotty tells him her meltdown is a gift and not to screw it up.

Paul says he changed his mind about Sonny testifying, saying that Scotty will use Sonny’s mob ties to discredit him. Recess is over, so everyone gets off the slides and swings, and Paul calls Sonny to the stand. I guess he changed his mind about changing his mind.

Griff asks Claudette what the agenda was that she was going to tell him about. She asks him if he thinks in saving everyone, he’ll save himself in the process. He’s had enough already and is about to leave, but she stops him. He wants to know why she’s inserting herself into Nathan and Maxie’s lives. That’s a really good question. If I looked like her, had a great job and was living in NYC, it’s highly unlikely I’d be chasing a relationship that’s been dead for years and moving to a town with only one decent restaurant.

Maxie asks what Nina is doing with her wedding plan folder. Nina says she needs to know Maxie’s plans so she can prepare for the photo shoot. Maxie says they talked about a few pictures, but not handing over control of her wedding. Nina says she’ll be in charge of the shoot, but Maxie is in charge of her big day. She does have a few suggestions though. Spinelli knocks at Nina’s office door.

Paul asks Sonny about being present at some events. Events is his word, not mine. “Events” sounds like he’s talking about attending a dance or bake sale. Sonny says he saw Julian try to kill Alexis. Scotty objects to the conjecture. Sonny amends that to seeing Julian hold a knife to Alexis’s throat and then threaten her. He says he took out his gun and Julian told him that by the time Sonny could shoot, he’d slit Alexis’s throat. He talks about how they struggled and he finally stabbed Julian.

Carly apologizes and asks Michael not to push her away. Michael argues with her and Nell steps in. She says Carly feels terrible. Michael says now that Sabrrrina is dead, she must feel relieved. Carly says he’s grieving and angry and can’t handle this alone. Michael tells her to stay the hell away from him and leaves.

Nell tells Carly she can’t believe how Michael talked to her. Carly says he’s hurting. She says she wants to help him, but now he’d just push her away, so she’ll have to wait for him to come to her. Nell says it must be horrible to feel like there’s nothing she can do, but Carly says there is something she can do.

Claudette implies that Griff wants to help Maxie and Nathan to assuage his own guilt. He tells her to forget about them for a minute and asks what’s going on with her. He says he’s willing to help her, but she has to tell him the truth. Good luck with that.

Scotty asks for a minute with his client. He asks Julian if Sonny stabbed him and Julian says yes. How does Scotty not know all this already? Scotty asks Sonny if his gun is licensed and registered, and Sonny says it is. He asks what business Sonny is in and Sonny plugs Perks. Nice business move. Scotty asks if he needs a gun to whip up lattes or does he carry it for another reason? Sonny says it’s for personal protection. Scotty brings up Sonny killing AJ – like AJ was such a great guy – but Sonny says he was pardoned by the governor.

Maxie runs off to talk to Spinelli. Nina asks if Nathan is okay with that, and he says they’re all going to be a part of each other’s lives since Spinelli is Georgie’s father. Nina switches gears and asks Nathan if he has any opinions about the wedding, or is he letting Maxie make all the decisions? Well, that’s the way it usually goes. He sees a book of baby names on Nina’s desk and asks what’s up with that.

Spinelli tells Maxie that he dug into Claudette’s past. Maxie says things have changed. She found out Claudette cheated on Nathan with a priest. She appreciates Spinelli’s outrage on her behalf, but it’s all out in the open, so not of concern anymore. He says she still might want to know what he found out.

Claudette says she’ll let him in on her agenda, if Griff will admit he has a God complex. He says he just wants to help people. She says he wants to save people and there’s a difference. She asks if that’s what he was trying to do years ago with her. She says the only way he can help or save her is if he tells her there’s a chance for them.

Michael talks to Teddy on a park bench, telling him Sabrrrina would always be proud of him. He says he’s sorry, but Teddy’s mother is gone. He sees Nell watching them.

Scotty asks Sonny if Julian hurt him in any way, and Sonny says his sport jacket got messed up, but he fixed it. He asks if Alexis was hurt, and Sonny says not enough to go to the hospital .Scotty says the only one who was seriously injured was Julian. Paul says it’s leading and inflammatory, and the judge sustains his objection. Paul calls Sabrrrina to the stand because he’s pretending to be out of the loop. Carly appears and says Sabrrrina is dead, because anyone is allowed to just walk into the courtroom during a trial and make announcements.

Carly tells everyone that Sabrrrina was murdered at GH. Paul asks for a moment and they take a recess. I call dibs on the merry-go-round. Alexis tells Paul he needs to recall her. She says she’s feeling better now, but Paul says she’ll put the final nail in his case coffin. Paul calls Sabrrrina to the stand again. Huh?

Michael tells Nell that Sabrrrina loved bringing Teddy to the park. He goes down Memory Lane about things we’ve never heard about before, and says she was an awesome mother. He asks why Nell tracked him down. She says Carly really does feel terrible. She tells him before he showed up, she’d been talking about how she wished she could take back what she said, and now she just wants to take his pain away.

Nina tells Nathan the book is for a magazine story. He says please don’t tell him she’s going outside the law for a baby.

Spinelli tells Maxie that he followed Claudette’s moves after she left Nathan and could find nothing. I already know that’s bad. When someone has no internet footprint whatsoever, you have to wonder what they’re hiding. Unless they’re like 90. And even then I’d be suspicious.

Griff says he wants nothing more than to move on, because all they’ve done is cause others pain. He says they meant something to each other once, but if she still has feelings for him, leave Maxie alone.

Okay, Paul wants to bring out Sabrrrina’s deposition. Scotty says he can’t cross-examine it. The judge agrees and the people rest. Scotty says they won’t be calling witnesses and the defense rests. Well that was quick.

Paul makes his closing statement. He talks about Alexis wearing a wire, and how she and Julian ended up at the pier with Julian holding a knife to her throat. They have the dagger, the evidence bag with Julian’s prints on it, and Alexis and Sonny’s testimonies. Shortest. Closing. Statement. Ever.

Nina says she’s not trying to buy a baby and wonders if Nathan is believing Ava, who’s a known liar. She says it’s not going to happen, and he asks if she’s given up on being a mother.

Maxie tells Spinelli no news is good news, since Claudette hasn’t been up to anything insanely wrong or evil. Maybe she’s been crocheting cats on pillows. He says that’s not necessarily a good thing. Maxie says that depends on how you feel about cats on pillows. He says she’s not getting it – there’s no internet presence whatsoever. It’s been deliberately removed.

Griff says whatever Claudette is hiding will come out at the worst possible time, creating the worst possible consequences. Griff gets a call from the hospital and has to go in. He tells Claudette he doesn’t think she’s a bad person, but prove him right and go home. She says she’ll take it under advisement.

Nell says Teddy’s loss is unfathomable, but as someone who didn’t have the best parents, he was still lucky to have her as long as he did. Michael asks for alone time and she leaves. He talks to Teddy about Sabrrrina again. He says the memories will fade and Teddy will stop looking for her, but in his dreams she’ll come back to him. The feelings of love and safety will always be with him, because love doesn’t die. He says Sabrrrina loved him more than anything.

Scotty says the prosecution has nothing – circumstantial at best, and condemning at worst. He talks about Alexis basically saying nothing except that Julian would do anything for her, and all they have are fingerprints on a bag. Are they going to send a man to jail for touching a plastic bag? He plays the this-is-America card, and says you’re innocent until proven guilty. Everyone makes soap opera faces at each other.

Nina tells Nathan she’s given up on actively trying to have a baby, but if one ends up on her doorstep, she’s not giving it back. He says she’d better. She tells Nathan not to worry about her and just worry about getting married.

Spinelli says he can investigate Claudette further, but it could take time. Maxie says maybe Nathan can help, but Spinelli was hoping to keep him out of it. She says they’re not supposed to have secrets, but Spinelli wonders how Nathan will feel about him digging up dirt on his former spouse. Nathan comes in and Maxie tells him what’s going on. He says they’ll talk about it at home because he has to get back to work.

Claudette calls Nathan. She says there’s something she needs to tell him.

Nina looks at the baby name book.

Carly thanks Nell for texting her. Nell says she encouraged Michael to cut her some slack, but he’s stubborn. Carly wonders where he got that from, but says he’ll come around They’ve been through worse.

Sonny comes up behind Michael and puts his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

The judge says blah-blah-blah whatever they say to a jury before deliberation. Scotty says he doesn’t want to jinx anything, but Paul should be quaking in his wingtips. Julian tries to talk to Sam, but she won’t have anything to do with him. Alexis asks Paul how big a disaster it is, and Paul says it’s in the jury’s hands now. But doesn’t everyone love Sonny?

Julian gazes over at Alexis as he leaves the courtroom. She has possibly the saddest face I’ve ever seen.

Tomorrow, Claudette says she’s in trouble and only Nathan can help, Olivia lambastes Alexis, and Carly reminds Sonny he promised the killing would stop. Which I assume means he wants to kill Julian.


The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is still feeling the accident in her lower back. It’s going to take some time to heal, so she’s postponed competing. She tells her trainer/spiritual adviser about how she told Meghan to go to hell. She knows it wasn’t very Christian, but she wanted to say something worse. Her trainer tells her to be a peacemaker, but Tamra says sometimes she just wants to slap a bitch. I identify.

Shannon’s daughters meet with their music instructor. They’ve had a band going for three years and have a gig this weekend where they’re playing an original song. Shannon kibbutzes as they practice. She’s really annoying because she thinks she’s still some kind of rocker chick. If I was the instructor, I’d ask her to leave. She says she was in madrigal, which is a smaller group out of an acapella choir, but I’m guessing that was like a thousand years ago. OMG – she gets up and grabs a mic. Go away, Shannon. She says they’re not Def Leppard, but they’re cute.

Shannon leaves a message for Vicki, saying that she heard a different spin about the accident from the people who were actually in it, and wanted to talk to her. In her interview, Vicki says she doesn’t think Shannon really cares, and doesn’t call her back.

Tamra calls Kelly. She tells Kelly she’s going to Shannon’s to help her pack and asked to bring Kelly, especially since Shannon was including Meghan. In her interview, Kelly says after the accident, she realizes how stupid their feud is. Tamra says she’s like the Rodney King of the OC these days.

Vicki asks what Briana wants to do for Christmas, and Briana says it’s only April. Vicki wonders if she’ll have a boyfriend before Christmas, since she was alone for the holidays last year and it sucked. In her interview, Briana says Vicki likes attention and thinks she’s been playing up the accident. I dunno. It’s not often someone gets airlifted out of a situation. Ryan is able to be home for Briana’s real birthday, even though she and Vicki celebrated their birthdays together last week.

Shannon says she’s bloated, and thinks her adrenals are low, whatever that means. She’s stressed about moving. They have to be out in one week and she’s packed nothing so far. The ladies are coming over today and she hopes to make some headway. Kelly arrives first and we flash back to the last time they were together. She’s concerned that Shannon is a loose canon (ha-ha!) that can go off at any minute. Shannon is nervous that Kelly might attack her. Shannon gets stupid about other people packing her stuff. Last time I moved, I wish I’d had someone else to pack. I kept hoping I’d break stuff just so I didn’t have to pack it.

Tamra realizes that Shannon is going to be Kelly’s neighbor. Kelly apologizes and they hug. Tamra wants clarification as to what exactly the apology is for, but Heather tells her that details are unnecessary. Normally, I’d be with Tamra on this, but it’s not private and with this crowd, a fight can easily start back up again. They check out Shannon’s walk-in closet. Heather immediately starts saying what should be put in the giveaway box. Shannon wants to keep her vegan shoes and Tamra asks if she’s going to eat them. In her interview, Heather says, this is terrible, this is stained, this doesn’t fit you anymore, get rid of it. This, is making me want to clean my own closet.

Meghan arrives last and they decide to take a break. In her interview, Tamra says she doesn’t want to be around Meghan right now. She’s pissed off at how Meghan has been going around saying she was reckless. They have a snack and Shannon invites everyone to her kids’ gig. Heather won’t be able to make it since it’s the one-year anniversary of the skincare line she has with Terry. Shannon asks how Tamra is feeling, but she barely answers. There’s a huge awkward silence, and Tamra says clearly no one wants to talk – meaning Meghan – so she’s going to leave.

Tamra doesn’t want to sit there all fake. Shannon was hoping they could resolve things. Tamra says she heard Meghan has been telling people she caused the accident because she was reckless. Meghan says Tamra told her she got too confident, but Tamra says that shouldn’t give her the need to go around saying what she said. Tamra says Meghan makes everything about herself. Meghan talks about Tamra insinuating she didn’t care. Meghan asks if Tamra thinks that’s okay. If the shoe fits. She certainly didn’t seem like she cared. Tamra says sorry she told her go to hell, but sorrynotsorry she hung up on her. In her interview, Meghan wonders why Shannon gets free pass since they were both on the phone. Shannon says she called and texted Vicki, but got no response. Heather suggests they move on.

Briana and the family go out for lunch. Briana’s brother Michael brings flowers and they toast to Briana’s birthday. Vicki tells everyone about Shannon’s call and Briana says she should acknowledge it. Vicki asks Michael if he has a girlfriend. He says yes, and she wonders why she hasn’t met her. They discuss Tinder and Briana thinks her mother shouldn’t even know about it. Vicki claims to be low maintenance and says she never fights with anyone. We flash back to some doozies. And loud, screeching ones at that. Vicki says she wants a soulmate (gag). She brings up having sex and Briana tells her it’s the wrong audience for that topic.

Shannon’s daughters get ready for their gig. Their parents stress out for them. They say a prayer in the car on the way. Shannon won’t shut up about being nervous and annoys the kids with taking a million pictures. Kelly and Michael arrives first. Kelly apologizes to David for her drunken rant. I like it. Simple and to the point.

Tamra and Eddie come in next, followed by Meghan and the ghost of Jim, who is in St. Louis. David’s sister, another Vicki., shows up with his mother, Donna. Shannon tells the girls her MIL doesn’t like her because she took mommy’s baby boy away. The girls play and it’s okay for kids that age, but nothing special. I’m not sure if they are singing flat, as Shannon suggested in rehearsal, or it’s just a kind of grunge sound. I guess that’s it? One song?

David’s mom introduces herself to Kelly and starts complaining about how Shannon hates her guts and she doesn’t see her grandchildren often. Holy! I’d run away from some stranger who starts telling me their family problems right after the introduction. Kelly says Shannon doesn’t hate her guts and basically wants to be left out of it, and immediately tells Shannon what Donna said. Kelly suggests Shannon be the bigger person, but Shannon says she has been for 15 years. Shannon relays Donna’s gripe to David. Donna goes back to talking to the other girls, telling them that Shannon pushed David to have an affair. I’m not a huge fan of Shannon’s this season, but why is this woman whining to people she just met? That’s just no, no, and more no.

In her interview, Tamra says she went from feeling sorry for Donna to thinking she’s vindictive. Everyone is called upstairs for a buffet. An entire buffet revolving around some kids playing one song. Meghan tells Tamra she doesn’t like being in a bad place with her and apologizes. Tamra says she was freaked out enough, and didn’t need Meghan adding to it. Meghan says she loves and needs Tamra. Apparently, she’s hormonal again.

Tamra asks Shannon if her MIL is joining them for food. Shannon says David barely talks to his mother and they just showed up uninvited. She says the only time he has any relationship with his family, it’s because she’s asked him to. She says that her kids were told she was a bad mother and that was the end of it. Tamra wants to stick her nose in further and tells Shannon what Donna said about David’s affair. Shannon runs to David and gets loud and angry and shakes her finger in his face. Kelly says it’s not David’s fault and Shannon storms out and goes into the ladies room.

David says he’ll deal with it, and Tamra is sorry she said anything. She spends a lot of her time being sorry she said anything. Shannon asks David if he wants to defend his mom or her. She says his family has given her nothing but grief forever. Tamra says Shannon claims to be over the affair, but clearly isn’t. Kelly keeps telling Shannon that Donna wants to make amends, but Shannon not’s having it. Yeah, best stay out of this one. David sits with the ladies and Shannon complains again about what Donna said. She says tonight is about her kids and his mother ruined it. She says she thinks her MIL had wished David left them. David explains that he respects and loves Shannon, so he barely talks to his mother. I wish they’d drag the mother upstairs so she can get involved and there’s a screaming match.

The Beador clan gets into the limo. David explains that Grandma Donna was saying things that she believes, but that aren’t necessarily true. He amends that to inappropriate and not very nice when Shannon squawks. In her interview, Shannon says David needs to be on the side of the truth. David looks like he wants to disappear.

Next time, the Beadors have 30 minutes to get out of the house, the girls go to a mud bath, Kelly and Michael argue, and Tamra gives her take on their relationship.