Monthly Archives: September 2016

September 21, 2016 – GH’s Hayden is Free & Little LA’s Elena is Trapped


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

A reporter tells us about the closing of the hospital. He says they claim it’s short term, but rumor has it they won’t be opening again. He adds that Mayor Lomax thinks they should have closed sooner and avoided more deaths. The reporter puts his mic in Epiphany’s face and she tells him to get out before she calls security. She talks to Dr Hardy’s picture, saying that she’s sorry and they tried.

Finn is taking a box of stuff out of his office. Tracy wonders if all he has is one box. He tells her that a lot of his research requires refrigeration and the mini-fridge at the MetroCourt isn’t going to cut it. She asks about his medication, and he says he has enough for a couple of weeks. She asks what he’s going to do after that.

Naomi visits Hayden in her cell. She asks when her mother was planning on telling her Jeff Webber was her father.

Elizabeth wonders if she has more siblings wandering around. Good question.

Franco tells Epiphany he’s sorry for her loss of Sabrrrina. She thanks him, but says she doesn’t have time to grieve right now. He suggests not telling Elizabeth about it yet.

Lulu and Dante arrive at the Quartermaine’s with a casserole. Lulu tells Michael how sorry she is. She asks about Teddy. Michael says he’s sleeping, but it’s hard to get him settled without his mom. Lulu says they can help with the funeral arrangements. Michael says he has to figure out what happens next, especially with Teddy. Lulu leaves to give him and Dante brother time.

Morgan comes in saying the cops aren’t doing anything about the murder and starts pinging off the walls.

Griff tells Maxie that closing GH is the only way the board could think of to keep people safe. She asks if he’s got a minute.

Nathan tells Claudette she’s nuts because there is no “us.” She tells him it’s about her and her daughter, and if he won’t help her, at least help her daughter. Nathan says she told him she didn’t want kids. She says she didn’t plan it, but when she got the results back she knew she’d love the baby more than anything, but she also wasn’t cut out to be a mom, so she sent her child to live with someone else. Nathan is angry because she lied. She says the only way she can keep her daughter safe is to keep her secret.

Griff says the last thing he can think about is Claudette, and tells Maxie about Julian being found not guilty. Maxie is like, whaaat? and asks what part of attempted throat-slitting is innocence. Griff explains about how the case fell apart and tells her about Sabrrrina’s murder. Nothing like throwing everything at her at once. Maxie asks what she can do, and Griff says, leave.

Tracy wants to make calls on Finn’s behalf. Finn says it’s time to face the fact that it’s a losing battle for him. She says she’s not going to lose another friend.

Morgan is all manic, saying Sonny needs to kick down doors and take names. Michael says this is no time for that, and Sabrrrina’s murderer must be found. Sabrrrina’s phone rings. It’s Elizabeth, who leaves a message wanting to know what happened with the diamonds.

Franco brings Elizabeth some water and he asks how it went with her father. She says she was leaving a message for Sabrrrina and she didn’t have it in her to call her dad. She says she’ll be losing the fairy tale of her parents’ marriage and part of her father too, and she can’t stand to lose anything else right now. Well, this is going to be some bad timing.

Hayden tells Naomi that if Elizabeth had known they were sisters, she might not be here. Naomi says she thought she was protecting her. She says Raymond Berlin is the father who loved her, and growing up with him afforded her every opportunity. Hayden says it afforded Naomi those opportunities too, and she didn’t keep the secret for Hayden, but for herself.

Nathan asks who Claudette is keeping her daughter safe from, the guy in prison? She says he takes care of things for important people and she got involved in one of his shadier operations. It was one compromise after another and she finally decided to walk away. When he found out she had a child, he threatened her, finding out where her daughter was by tracking the money sent to her. He said if he couldn’t have Claudette, he’d harm her daughter.

Hayden says if Richard found out about Naomi’s cheating, she would have been thrown out on the street. She says that must be why he didn’t want to see her in prison – he found out the truth and just stopped any contact with her. Hayden asks if he threatened divorce and if that’s why Naomi turned state’s evidence. Naomi says no, and leaves to check if the lawyers are there.

Epiphany comes in to prep Elizabeth for her trip to Mercy Hospital. Epiphany explains to her about the hospital shutting down. Elizabeth doesn’t want to go. Franco suggests they let her go home and have a private nurse. He leaves with Epiphany. In the hallway he thanks her for not saying anything, but Epiphany says they have to tell Elizabeth about Sabrrrina before she finds out from someone else. Yeah, like Nurse Amy.

Morgan tells Michael the killer better hope the cops get to him before Sonny does. Dante tells him to get his head straight and not be ranting and raving about revenge. Michael needs his support. Michael brings Teddy in, saying he misses his mother. We can tell by the way Teddy is transfixed by the light fixture.

Joe rings the bell at the Quartermaines’ and asks to come in. Michael asks why he’s there and he says he’s there for his nephew.

Franco tells Epiphany that Elizabeth has healing to do, and he doesn’t want to jeopardize her recovery. Epiphany asks if he really thinks he can keep it from her.

As he gets in the elevator, Tracy tells Finn she won’t allow him to give up on himself. She tells him she needs him to believe he can find a cure. He says there’s always hope. The elevator doors close.

Michael introduces Carrrlos’s brother to everyone. Morgan asks why he’s there. Joe says he’s Teddy’s closest living relative and he’s sure there were no legal arrangements. He asks if Michael was appointed Teddy’s legal guardian in the event of Sabrrrina’s death. Morgan gets in Joe’s face and Joe says Michael is nothing to Teddy. Morgan punches him.

Claudette says she knew the guy could make her disappear, so she disappeared on her own, hiring someone to erase her tracks. Nathan asks why she thinks he can help. She says she knows he’s a stand up guy and that he’d protect his family at all costs. Nathan asks if the daughter is his.

Finn tells Roxie that her daddy is unemployed again. He says she’ll be seeing more of him, but the way things are going, it might not be for much longer. He says he’ll find her a good home, maybe with Josslyn. He goes through his stuff and finds an old letter from his dead wife.

An agent tells Hayden that she’s free to go. He says her mother told them everything, and they have no more reason to detain her. Naomi tells her she told them the truth, that she took the diamonds and hid them in Hayden’s things.

Tracy walks in as Joe is telling Morgan he doesn’t want his nephew growing up around someone like him. Tracy says she has her lawyers working on keeping Teddy in the home he knows. Joe says he’ll fight her. Tracy says she’ll drag it out indefinitely and take away whatever legal visitation he’s given. Joe says he’ll fight her for as long as it takes. Michael says there won’t be a fight.

Claudette admits Nathan is the father. She says she found out she was pregnant after he filed for divorce and she didn’t want to be accused of doing it on purpose. He asks how she knows it’s not Griff’s baby.

Epiphany tells Griff about how she yelled at Sabrrrina once and now she’ll never get the chance to tell her what a fine nurse she was. Elizabeth overhears. She says it’s not true, but Franco says it is and holds her.

Claudette says she and Griff were careful, but she and Nathan weren’t. I guess that settles it then. Just as good as a DNA test. She shows him a picture of their daughter, Charlotte. Nathan says he has to think about this and talk to Maxie. Claudette says the fewer the people who know, the safer Charlotte will be, but Nathan says he can’t keep this secret from Maxie. She tells him to keep the picture so he remembers who he’s fighting for.

Michael says he could tie Joe up forever in court, but it wouldn’t be fair to Teddy. He grew up in the middle of a custody fight and doesn’t want to make Teddy a prize in a war that nobody wins. He asks everyone else to leave. Morgan asks if he’s sure about this, and Michael says he is. Everyone acts like they’ll never see Teddy again.

Joe thanks Michael for being reasonable. Michael says he’s doing it for Teddy and Sabrrrina.

Back in her hospital bed, Elizabeth tells Franco about how happy Sabrrrina was. She wants to go home and see her boys. Franco says people are getting her house ready as they speak. They kiss.

Naomi tells Hayden not to cry. She’ll be fine as long as she knows Hayden is free from the lies that have plagued their family. She tells Hayden to promise not to let her heart be held prisoner by lies. She says Hayden isn’t as alone as she thinks, and she needs to stay where she is.

Finn tells Roxie about the letter, and how his wife asked him to fight on, so she wouldn’t die in vain. He says he failed her and couldn’t even save himself. He starts to cry and then gets crazy, throwing everything around the room, including the furniture.

Franco wheels Elizabeth out of the hospital. It’s all quiet and dark, and he tells her she’s the last one out. She asks for a moment alone where the photographs are.

In the chapel, Griff tells Epiphany it’s clear Sabrrrina was loved and will never be forgotten. She asks him to pray with her. He starts The Lord’s Prayer, and we hear his words over the other scenes.

Maxie asks Nathan if everything is okay, and he says they need to talk.

Claudette tells Charlotte’s photo that everything is going to be all right, and that Nathan will make sure they’re safe.

Naomi is put in handcuffs. Hayden calls Finn and leaves a message that she’s a free woman. She says she could use a friend and asks him to call her back.

Michael tells Teddy he loves him. He says Teddy won’t remember him, but he’ll always be thinking about him and wishing him well. He says if Teddy ever needs him, he promises to be there. What is up with this? I thought Joe had…oh, GH is closed. Joe comes back in and says they’re ready. He tells Michael that he’s doing the right thing.

Griff finishes the prayer. He and Epiphany say amen.

Elizabeth asks Franco to take her home. GH is totally silent. They get into the elevator and the door closes.

Tomorrow, Sonny talks to Morgan, Kiki talks to Carly, Claudette wants to talk to Griff, and Nathan talks to Maxie about Charlotte.

Little Women: LA

Elena’s mother and sister have come from Russia to see the babies. It’s going to be Elena’s birthday soon, so they’re planning a quiet celebration as well. She asks her mother if she’d like more grandchildren, which she would. In her interview, Elena says right now it’s like a casino in the house, since she’s up all night and things are going on all the time. The slot machines only give you poopy diapers though.

Christy and her mother go down some weird giant slide on the side of a building. I’m not sure what the purpose is, since the slide isn’t all that long and only takes about three seconds. Christy tells her mother about the photo shoot and how she had Plastic meet her there. She says she doesn’t feel badly for ruining the photo shoot; Tonya did that. She exaggerates what Tonya said to Plastic. I can’t even believe I’m writing that name.

They discuss Christy’s father’s health issues. His kidneys are failing and might kill him before the cancer. Christy’s mother isn’t accepting it though. They’ve been married 52 years and she wants to believe he’ll get better.

Tonya and Terra go to a DIY car wash. Tonya has her hair down and it looks amazing – we rarely see it like that. In her interview, she says washing a car is difficult for little people and she should have left it to the professionals. Well, maybe if they’d quit chasing each other with the hoses it would be easier.

Terra tells Tonya that Preston wants to plan a surprise party for Elena’s birthday and rent a yacht. Tonya asks who he’s inviting and Terra says she hopes he’s going to be selective. Tonya says knowing Preston, he’ll probably invite everyone. She brings up Christy and Plastic at the photo shoot. She says she feels badly for some of the things she said to Plastic, but for Christy to drag her into Briana’s business isn’t right. She tells Terra that if Christy comes to the party, she’s going to have words with her.

Terra and Joe go to a signing class. OMG – Penny is so cute! A pudgy, curly red-headed cherub. Since Achons develop differently, they want another option for communication. Joe thinks she should learn how to sign things like “hang loose,” but Terra nixes that idea.

They’ve also found a new house, but the seller doesn’t want to move out. Joe wonders if Christy is the realtor. Terra is annoyed because they’re paying a mortgage and rent. If the seller hasn’t moved out by the weekend, they’ll have to start eviction proceedings. Ugh!

Briana and Tonya want to get Elena something unique for her birthday, so they’ve decided to make her a blown glass ornament. It’s really a cool process to watch. Afterward, they discuss Briana’s new baby. Briana says it was a rough delivery – she was as wide as she is tall – and she’s relieved that it’s over. Briana asks what’s going on with the girls, and Tonya tells her about the photo shoot. She says they gave Christy the benefit of the doubt and invited her, and then she brought Plastic into the picture. In her interview, Briana says that she and Plastic met when they were both at the publicist’s office, and Plastic tried to piggyback onto Briana’s fame. Briana says Christy probably thought she was going to be at the photo shoot and she’s sorry Tonya had to field that. Tonya tells her that Christy will most likely be at Elena’s party.

Christy goes to therapy. Sounds like a children’s book. She wants advice for dealing with the mean girls. She tells the therapist about how she horned in on Tonya’s photo shoot by bringing Plastic there. The therapist asks if she could have done something differently to rectify the situation, but Christy just gives more excuses as to why this was a brilliant move. In her interview, it’s obvious she’s not really listening to the therapist. The therapist says it’s easy to walk away, but she’s there to make changes, so try to do something different. Yeah, like keeping your nose to yourself.

Joe and Terra are meeting with the realtor and a locksmith to try and get into the house. If the previous owner is there though, they won’t be able to break in. I’m kind of not getting this. If they closed, it’s their house now, isn’t it? They discuss what they’re going to say if the seller is there. Joe says he’s nervous because she might be in there doing weird things. Terra starts to cry and says he’s acting like it’s a big joke. He says nothing about the process has been normal. In her interview, Terra says their American dream has turned into a nightmare. She says she can’t even make a nursery in the house and she just wants to move in. Joe says they will, and she cries some more about him treating it like a joke. In his interview, he says he’s just trying to lighten the mood.

The realtor brings flowers and says welcome home. I guess we’ll see. Joe says if the seller is in there, he’ll be happy to chuck a glass at her head, but Terra says she doesn’t need any more police reports. The realtor is nervous and everyone goes up the walk like they’re going to a guillotine.

Joe rings the bell. And then hides behind Terra. There’s no answer, so the locksmith is allowed to go to work. The screen door is locked, so they go around to the back. Terra says she won’t feel good about the situation until they’re moved in. The locksmith looks through the window and the seller’s stuff is still in there. There are two guest houses and Terra is worried she might end up with a tenant too.

They go to a guest house and someone answers the door. They explain the situation, and Joe says the seller has all their money and this is their house now. The tenants clearly have no idea what’s been going on. Joe says if the seller doesn’t leave, they’ll need to have a cop drag her out in 30 days. Terra is pretty upset, but glad they didn’t bring Penny. They put up notice to quit signs.

Briana and Matt go out to eat. Briana tells Matt about the photo shoot and Christy bringing Plastic there. Matt says there’s something seriously wrong with Christy. They agree his whatever with Plastic was over and done with long ago, and they were done discussing it back then. Matt says Christy plays the victim, but brings it on herself. Briana says Christy’s madness has only brought them closer together. Ride or die and all that. She tells Matt that Christy will probably be at Elena’s party.

Everyone gathers on the yacht. Briana talks about Baby Maverick. In her interview, she says she hopes Christy can swim, since she might be going overboard. Tonya talks about the photo shoot and how Christy claimed she was proving her point. Matt says he and Briana were over the Plastic thing, and now Christy is trying to divide and conquer. Joe calls her a piece of <bleep!>. Tonya is pissed about Christy trying to include her in the mess.

Christy and Todd are the last to arrive. Before anyone can insult anyone else, Joe gets a text from Preston saying they’re almost there. Jasmine is the only one who even says hello to Christy. Preston brings Elena to the dock blindfolded and everyone yells surprise. In her interview, Elena is annoyed because she didn’t want to spend her birthday trapped on a boat while the babies are at home.

Terra asks Elena what’s wrong and she says nothing. She says if Terra wants to talk about it, talk to someone else. In her interview, Terra says she knows Elena is weird about her birthday, but this is the most depressed she’s seen her in forever. Elena cries in the bathroom, and Tonya says this isn’t exactly what they had in mind. She tells Elena she’s a new mommy and her family is here, and she should be celebrating. Elena finally comes back out, but she eats dinner with her family on the lower deck.

The rest of the girls have drinks on the upper deck. Tonya asks to talk to Christy. She tells her she apologizes to Plastic, but didn’t appreciate Christy bringing her to the photo shoot and how they took over trying to prove their point. She says when she asked Plastic to leave, Plastic called her a bitch. Christy goes on about the things Tonya said. Tonya says she’s not interested in Briana and Matt’s situation, and Christy needs to keep her nose out of it. Christy continues to focus on what Tonya said to Plastic, and they start shouting and wagging their fingers in each other’s faces. In her interview, Christy once again acts like the wronged one. Christy tells Briana she has autism, but I’m not sure what that’s about. I think it’s supposed to be an insult, but, really? She keeps saying it too. Maybe she’s confusing it with something else. Matt gets up and tells Christy she’s sick and needs to go. Todd tries to interject, and Matt tells him to deal with his own business. In her interview, Tonya says this heifer is about to become a sea cow, and I laugh.

Todd and Christy leave. I don’t know if the boat was already at the dock or it went back because of them. Matt says they’re batsh*t crazy. I dunno about that, but they certainly have some serious problems.

Next time, the girls learn belly dancing, Joe and Terra go into the new house, Christy complains to her mother, and Tonya and Jasmine argue.

September 20, 2016 – GH Gets a Verdict, Loving Wrong Gets a Bloodbath & Below Deck Gets a Poodle

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan goes to Claudette’s room. He doesn’t want small talk, espresso, or a walk down Memory Lane. He just wants to know what she wants. She tells him she’s in trouble and he’s the only one who can help.

Scotty is outside on the phone talking to a reporter about the prosecution’s case falling apart and how he didn’t even need to put Julian on the stand. Griff overhears him and tells Scotty that he’s Duke’s son. He wants to know what happened.

Olivia confronts Alexis while she’s trying to have coffee, and accuses her of being drunk on the stand. She tells Alexis that her actions might set Julian free.

Ava visits Julian in his cell, and tells him the jury will do the right thing and let him go.

Carly asks Sonny how Michael is. Sonny tells her he’s staying at the Quartermaines. Carly tells him how badly she feels about what told Michael about Sabrrrina. She said she didn’t think they belonged together, but certainly didn’t wish her any harm. Sonny wonders who would be heartless enough to murder her.

Paul is! Dillon sees him sitting in an empty courtroom and asks if everything is okay. Paul says no, it’s not, and he did a bad thing.

Alexis tells Olivia if she’s going to berate her, at least sit down. Olivia says it’s all over the news that Alexis was drunk, but Alexis says she only had one glass of wine. Something was wrong and she doesn’t know what or why. She asks if the news told Olivia how the confession she risked her life for was tossed out. Olivia asks Alexis to make her understand.

Ava tells Julian not to be a pessimist. His fate is in the hands of a jury who never heard his confession, only Alexis’s convoluted testimony. Julian wonders why she isn’t surprised. She says Alexis has always been a mess and finally cracked, and maybe the stars aligned just for him. Julian says maybe someone gave the stars a push. Ava says if everything works out, she’ll owe him big. Quid pro quo.

Dillon asks Paul to be more specific. Paul says if Julian goes free, it’s his fault. Dillon tells Paul about Sabrrrina being killed at GH and that the hospital is closing. Paul says it will have serious repercussions throughout the city, but Dillon says the board thinks it’s the best way to keep everyone safe. Dillon says he’d appreciate it if Paul would reassure Tracy that he’s doing everything in his power to catch the killer. Paul says he will.

Sonny says he thinks Sabrrrina found something out about the hospital killer and was silenced. Carly says it’s not his fault, and he promised her the killing stops now.

Nathan asks Claudette how her being in trouble makes it different from every other day. She says for the record, none of this was her fault. She says after they split up – he corrects her, saying she cheated on him and he left – she hooked up with the wrong, dangerous man. Nathan tells her about there being no online record of her. He asks for the guy’s name and she says he’s in prison. Nathan laughs about her getting involved with a cop, a priest and a crook. (A cop, a priest and a crook walk into Claudette…) She says the guy was following her from prison and she made herself untraceable, but it didn’t work. She saw Nathan’s engagement announcement and thought he could help her. She thought that it would be easier if they rekindled things, but she realized that playing games wasn’t going to get her anywhere. She goes on about him being a good guy and the memories coming back. He tells her to stop spinning the same line and asks if she’s forgotten about Griff, because he hasn’t.

Scotty tells Griff that nobody knows anything until the jury has its say. Griff says as far as he knew, there was a strong case against Julian. Scotty says he’s not the one Griff should be talking to. Griff wants to know how Scotty got around the taped confession. Scotty passes the buck to Alexis or Sonny.

Sonny says the killer has to be stopped before it happens again. Carly says let the professionals handle it and he says yeah, the same ones who just screwed up Julian’s trial. She wants him to promise not to take the law into his own hands.

Ava tells Julian that she performed a miracle. He hopes she didn’t perform one too many miracles today, and asks if she had anything to do with Sabrrrina getting killed. She says her hands are clean there, and she was going to ask him about that. She says it’s tragic and sad, but it helped his case. He says Sabrrrina’s death could be the reason he gets convicted.

Ava’s not following him. She says Sabrrrina not testifying is a good thing. He says juries aren’t ignorant and they know who he is. He thinks they’ll believe he had something to do with it. He wishes he’d started thinking differently a long time ago. If he had, none of this would be happening. He wishes he’d never told Alexis his secrets. A little late for that.

Alexis says it was like she was watching herself and she couldn’t comprehend what Paul was saying. Olivia says the nightmare is just beginning if the verdict is not guilty, because Julian can’t be tried again. He’ll be free to show up at her door and Alexis’s door and anybody else’s door he wants to show up at. She tells Alexis that he married her and tried to kill her; he has no morals or ethics and all he cares about is himself. He doesn’t even care about Leo.

Carly tells Sonny if he goes after Julian, Ava will return the fire, and what if another family gets involved? The best way to stop it is to not start it. Sonny tells her to drop it, but she says there’s too much at stake. She doesn’t want to wonder about retaliation. She wants him to promise that if Julian is found not guilty, he’ll let it go.

Paul says he’ll do whatever he can to resolve the hospital situation. He thanks Dillon for coming to him, saying he understands things have been strained between them. Dillon admits he said some harsh things about Paul’s ambition, but he’s proud of his work as DA. Paul apologizes for not being there when Dillon grew up. Dillon says they can’t change past, but they can make a better future.

The jury has reached a verdict. Everyone gets a text.

Scotty tells Paul he looks a little pasty and should have gone outside. Paul says some of us have work to do. Scotty probably is the laziest lawyer in the world. Any time he wins a case, it’s just pure luck. Everyone trickles back into the courtroom. Ava asks Alexis how she’s doing, and Olivia tells her to leave Alexis alone. Olivia asks if Ava can not be a bitch for like 30 seconds, and Ava says she just wants justice served. Alexis says her too. Everyone makes soap opera faces at each other in the courtroom

Claudette says she didn’t know Griff lived in Port Charles until she saw him, and then the feelings came back. Nathan says, oh, like the feelings for him. She says that’s not the issue – the bottom line is she’s in trouble and needs help. Nathan says she’s not going to get it from him.

The judge asks for the verdict. I hold my breath. Probably Julian is too. And everyone else. The judge shakes her head a little and takes an incredible amount of time, enough for everyone to make as many soap opera faces as they want.

The judge asks if all jury members agree with each count. They do. Solicitation: not guilty; theft of evidence: not guilty; obstruction of justice: not guilty; not going well; conspiracy to commit murder of Duke: not guilty. Carly yells, no! and the judge says no more outbursts. No surprise the verdicts for both Carrrlos’s murder and the attempted murder of Alexis are not guilty. Olivia gets up and yells that he’s guilty of everything and they all know it.

Claudette tells Nathan to listen to her. He tells her that’s all he’s done since they’ve known each other. He says it’s been endless lies since she got to Port Charles. He says she ruined his life before and wanted to do it again. He tells her to go to the authorities, but never contact him again. She says if he won’t do it for her, do it for us.

Again, the judge says no more outbursts. She releases the jury and tells Julian he’s free. Alexis leaves the courtroom in tears and sobs in the hallway. Olivia goes out to help her. Alexis says she needs to be alone and runs off.

Scotty pats himself on the back and Julian thanks him. Julian doesn’t look too happy though. Scotty tells Paul he put up a good fight and maybe next time. Dillon tells Paul he’s sorry and knows Paul did what he could. Paul wants to be alone too. Ava hugs Julian, saying how happy she is, and thanks Scotty. Scotty says they have some formalities to take care of and then Julian can go home. Ava hugs Julian, whispering in his ear that he owes her.

Sonny, Carly and Julian are left in the courtroom. Sonny looks at Julian ominously. I have the feeling he’s not going to keep his promise.

Claudette says she’s desperate. Nathan says she’s crazy and there is no “us.” She says she’s talking about her and her daughter. Thought it was going to be something like that.

Olivia tells Dillon this is a real mess, which is an understatement.

Alexis is at the bar talking to herself. She’s going over her testimony as it should have been, playing both parts. She says that’s all the jury needed to hear, but she couldn’t say what she needed to say. She asks for another drink.

Ava sees Paul outside. She thanks him for a job well done. She tells him there’s a letter in someone’s possession that will go to the authorities if she meets with any accident. He says how magnanimous of her. She says she doesn’t get why he’d kill complete strangers. He says she wouldn’t understand and she says try her. He says no, but he understands her better than he realized, and her need to protect her brother. He says family is supposed to take care of family, and she says she pegged him as a lone wolf. He tells her she’d be surprised. She tells him to stop while he’s ahead and get out of town before someone else figures out what he’s done.

Griff prays for his family, relatives and friends. He prays that his father has peace in God’s presence, and that his family has peace and is united to live a life that glorifies God. He prays for mercy for those who brought harm to his father and says in the end, only God can pass final judgment. He adds that in the end, he knows there will be justice.

Scotty and Julian wrap it up at court. Julian tells Sonny he wanted justice and it got served. Sonny tells him it will be when he sees Julian in hell.

Tomorrow, Finn goes nuts, Joe tells Morgan that Michael is nothing to Teddy (and it looks like Morgan punches him out) and Epiphany apologizes to Dr. Hardy’s photo.

If Loving You is Wrong

Travis continues to force himself on Kelly. She says he’s not going to take advantage of her. He wants her to beg like she made him beg. She keeps apologizing and saying anything to get him off of her. Justice comes out on the porch and asks if his mother is okay. Travis says she made a mistake and daddy is going to forgive her. Kelly herds the kids back into the house and shuts the door behind her.

Justice asks if Kelly is all right and if Travis hurt her. She says everything is fine. She sends the kids back to bed. After they’re out of the room, she sobs by the kitchen sink and creepy Travis knocks on the window. Ew! He’s tracing hearts on it or something. She calls the police and he slips away into the night. Wait, he’s slipping past the windows. Why is it taking so long for someone to pick up at 911? Finally, he drives away and Kelly puts the phone down. Maybe she was just pretending to call.

Esperanza asks Julius what he’s doing in jail. He says he got arrested and she says good. She asks Andrew what happened and Andrew says drinking and driving. He asks if she knows him and if he’s who he says he is. She says yes, and be careful.

Ben calls Andrew an idiot for arresting a cartel. A whole cartel? It’s just Julius. Ben tells Andrew that Julius is the leader now that his father is dead. Ben asks if Julius wants some coffee, but Julius says he just wants out. Ben says he’ll make that happen and apologizes for Andrew’s incompetence. Julius asks Ben about his hand. Julius says he knows Ben and asks if he was shot. They have some weird exchange and Julius tells Ben to get his coffee.
Andrew asks what the blip Ben is doing. He says Julius refused a breathalyzer. Ben doesn’t listen to him and gives Julius the coffee. Julius says Andrew needs to know who people are around here and Ben says he does. Esperanza tells Ben to get a move on. He and Julius say they’ll talk.

Julius tries to get Esperanza to engage. She says she doesn’t want to talk to him and he says she just did. BA-DUM-CHH! Then he tells her how great she looks and she says she knows. Everyone is very sassy today.

It’s Randal in a box! He asks if someone is there and says he can hear them. The voice of Alex’s father asks if he likes being in the box. Randal starts to freak and yell for help and Rusty says no help is coming.

Alex is still freaking out after her encounter with a bloody Louise. She calls Lushion and leaves a message. No wonder she got herself into this position in the first place. Apparently, she’s not very bright. She keeps saying she can’t. Can’t what? Call an ambulance? Finally, she calls 911 and tells Esperanza her baby has been kidnapped. Holy Christmas, is she not going to say anything about Louise??? Esperanza asks what happened and Alex says he’s gone. She asks if Alex is hurt and if she should send an ambulance. Alex says she’s not hurt, but to send an ambulance for Randal’s mother. Esperanza says a car and an ambulance are on the way, and asks how Louise got hurt. Alex says she doesn’t know. She says she heard a noise and went outside, but she’s hard to understand because she’s crying and keeps saying I don’t know. Esperanza asks if she thinks Randal took her son, but she doesn’t know that either. She says the baby was in his car seat on the table and when she came back, the door was open and he was gone.

Esperanza tells her the police are on their way, but Alex wants to leave. She explains where Louise is and says it’s all her fault. Esperanza says she’s on a recorded line and if she understands. She asks again where Louise is and for some other details. When Esperanza asks what Louise is wearing, I’m thinking Alex should say “blood,” but Alex really doesn’t know much of anything. I don’t know why Esperanza keeps asking where Louise is. The living room, okay? And how many bloody people does she think they’ll find that they need to weed Louise out? She asks if Alex can go next door, but she says she can’t, she needs to go. She hangs up.

There’s a knock at Kelly’s door. She thinks it’s Travis, but it’s Alex. This town doesn’t seem all that big, so I’m wondering what’s taking the police so long. Alex tells her something happened and she needs Kelly to go to her house and stay with the kids. Alex says he took the baby and babbles incoherently. She tells Kelly the police are coming and drives away. Kelly yells, “What’s happening!” like that kid in Poltergeist.

Meanwhile, back at the aftermath of the shootout, Lushion tells Natalie that he’ll take the kids to her mother’s house and hustles her away. Steven says there’s one dead and two wounded and he wants a statement from Lushion. Eddie pops out of nowhere and Lushion gets livid, asking what he’s doing there. Lushion leaves and Steven asks Eddoe if he knows the kid and tells him to wipe the smile off his face. He tells Eddie to keep pushing him and he’s going to find out what can happen. Eddie tells him to walk away and he does. Eddie tells the dead kid that he’s lucky because he was going to blast him, and thanks for saving him the trouble. Steven tells him to have some respect. I’m guessing the dead kid is the one who tried to rob Faun, since it sounds like she and Joey went to the hospital.

Brad gets home and Marcie asks where he’s been. He says he went for a drive and she asks if that’s why his boots are muddy. He says he got stuck in the mud. She asks about his drive and he says he went to some mountain to look at the stars. She asks if he was alone and he says she wouldn’t have gone with him. She asks how he would know and he says let’s go now. She has to work in the morning, but tells him not to assume she’d say no. He says one minute she’s throwing him out and the next she’s flirting with him. He says while he was driving, he wondered if this all happened so they could be together, and what if this is all about them? Marcie says their spouses had an affair and lied to them about their baby, and now the two exes are living together. She says it’s too much drama and she doesn’t want it to be her narrative. He suggests they rewrite it and move somewhere else. Marcie thinks they should just leave well enough alone. She tells him she found some places he might like.

He says he stayed out as late as he could, hoping she’d be asleep when he got back. He asks why she’s up anyway and she says she ate something funky. He asks if she needs anything, but she says no. They half-smile at each other and he wants her to sit next to him. He says he just wants to talk, but she says that’s not what his eyes are telling her and tells him goodnight. He tells her she’d better lock the door. We hear it lock after she closes it. Brad looks grim. Just wait.

Kelly gets a collect call from prison. In Ohio. Is that where they are? No name or anything. I guess it’s Justice’s father. He asks how Justice is and what she told him about his father. She says not much and he gets specific, asking if Justice knows he’s in jail. She says no, and he tells her he’s up for probation and he wants to come live with her. He wants to be a father to Justice. She’s like, we can’t pick up from nine years ago. They have 30 seconds and he asks her to think about it. He says he’ll see her soon. Not if she sees you first.

Esperanza calls Kelly and asks what’s going on. She tells Esperanza about Alex being all crazy. Esperanza tells her the baby and Randal are missing and something happened to Louise. Kelly assumes Randal took the baby and says she knew something crazy was going to happen. Esperanza asks if she heard anything like screaming or banging, but Kelly says she was asleep until Alex barged in. She says that Alex left in her car and Esperanza asks if Kelly can talk to the police when they get there. Kelly wants to go watch the kids, but Esperanza tells her Louise is hurt and to please go over to Randal’s place.

Kelly takes the phone with her and says she never knew so much drama would be going on in this neighborhood. Esperanza suggests Kelly get Ramsey to go with her, but she says he hasn’t spoken to her since their misunderstanding. I finally find out how to spell his name, but I like Ramses better. Esperanza says this isn’t about her and to get over there. Kelly sees a note on Ramsey’s door saying he’s gone back to Utah. She tells Esperanza he’s not there. Esperanza tells her to call him, but she says no. She leaves out the part about the note and says she’ll call Esperanza back.

Kelly calls Ramsey, but the number is no longer in service. Kelly tells Esperanza that Ramsey didn’t answer and he’s gone back to Utah. Esperanza says she needs for Kelly to check on Louise and the police will be there any second. In my world, it’s been nearly an hour since the they were called. Kelly sees a trail of blood going into (or out of) Randal’s house. A lot of blood. She follows it, telling Esperanza it’s all over the place. Esperanza tells her to keep going and asks where the blood leads. Kelly says she doesn’t want to know. Esperanza says she needs to know where the trail leads, saying the baby could be hurt. No emergency operator in their right mind would asks a civilian to do this. Kelly says the blood is coming out of Marcie and Randal’s house. She says the door is kicked in and she can’t go in there. Esperanza tells her to go in, but Kelly says she’s waiting for the police. Esperanza tells her to look in and tell her what she sees. A bloody hand sticks out from behind an ottoman.

Kelly tells Esperanza she sees a bloody body.

Next time, Andrew threatens to go to the captain, Justice’s father bugs Kelly some more, Esperanza tells Eddie his days are numbered, and Julius asks Ben if he wants someone killed.

Below Deck

The crew gets ready for a new charter. Nico video chats with a girlfriend and complains about his altercation with Trevor. Kelley does exercises. He wants to keep Trevor motivated, but he’s still going to have to deal with his attitude. Ben makes another amazing breakfast. Nico talks to Sierra about what happened with Trevor. Trevor stumbles out of bed. In his interview, he does that “we were all drunk” thing that I hate. No. You were drunk.

Trevor sits down to breakfast and there’s silence. In his interview, Kelley says that crossing personal boundaries, even in your off time, is uncool. Kate tells Emily about what happened. Frankly, I think Trevor is a few bricks short of a load.

Lauren asks Nico how sleeping in the guest quarters was, and he jokes champagne popping. He wonders how the argument even started in the first place, and why Trevor felt the need to be insulting when they were supposed to be relaxing.

Emily burns a sheet because she left the iron on. Kate isn’t mad, but doesn’t want it happening again and thinks they might need a needlepoint sampler with instructions on the back of the door.

The primary guests also own yachts. There are two couples, some friends, and a poodle named Scupper. Ben isn’t thrilled about cooking for a dog. The guests want to have a clam bake, which Ben isn’t thrilled about either.

Ben says he’s making a nine-course tasting menu for the dog and Kate suggests they focus on the dog and give the guests the leftovers. Captain Lee informs them that the clam bake will be at 4:30 because at dusk, the bugs come out. Ben wants to call it an early dinner so the guests won’t want dinner later.

Kelley calls Trevor to the deck. He says Trevor’s behavior was unacceptable and he’s no longer a senior deckhand. He’s not allowed to boss anyone around. From now on, he just does the deck chores he’s supposed to. Kelley says if Trevor makes another misstep, he’s going to push for him to be gone. Trevor says he’s down, but not out. I’d call him a few clowns short of a circus.

Sierra tells Emily about how her father died when she was younger. She says everyone grieved in their own way and the family kind of drifted apart. In her interview, she tells us that she found what she needed in yachting.

Kelley tells Captain Lee about how he demoted Trevor. In his interview, the captain thinks Kelley is doing a great job.

The captain calls everyone on deck for a delivery. Whatever it is, it’s heavy

Scupper arrives! Douglas is the main dude after Scupper. Kate does the tour and asks the guests about their own yachts. Is this like a bus-man’s holiday? In her interview, Kate says she’s pretty sure Scupper gets treated better than 90% of the children in the US. Douglas asks to have Scupper’s tuxedo steamed. Douglas tells Kate not to stress Ben. He must have seen the show before.

They have to dock in a small marina and the wind is blowing against the yacht, making it harder. The guests concur that the captain knows his way around a boat. The crew takes the supplies to shore and Scupper throws up some yellow stuff. To his credit, Douglas offers to clean it up.

It’s time for the clam bake and I can’t stand it because I’d love to be a guest on this boat. These people don’t seem like heavy drinkers either, which is probably easier on the crew. The guests ask for dinner at nine when they haven’t even started on the clam bake. Apparently, the flies are being a pain and Ben apologizes. Ben thinks Kate must have called the clam bake something other than dinner when he finds out he has to cook another meal. She says there are three certain things – death, taxes and Ben getting angry when he has to cook food. She tells him even if she’d called it their last meal ever, they’d still get hungry later.

Ben gets testy and Kate explains to Sierra that he’s having a diva moment. Ben complains to Kelley about the guests thinking there’s going to be a sit-down dinner later. One of the guests picks up on Ben being pissed because of the dinner move up. Not a good look.

Sierra asks Trevor to ask Kelley for more trash bags. When Kelley tells him to say the magic word, Trevor gets angry and insults Kelley to the girls. Lauren tells him to let it go, but he says he’s going to f-ing lose it.

They get back to the boat and Ben says he’ll talk to the guests. Kate says he’s being a total d*ck and trying to do her job. Ben suggests it would be more fun to have something informal like a tapas option, and the guests are afraid of him, so they agree. Ben and Kate argue in the galley. He says if she can’t communicate with the guests, he will. Kelley suggests closing the galley door if they’re going to argue. Why? The guests are finding this very entertaining.

Douglas or whoever, helps prepare Scupper’s meal since Scupper also takes 75,000 supplements. The crew brings the supplies back and Kelley wants to talk to Trevor again. Kelley tells Trevor he’s the only problem Kelley has and next time just go with the flow.

I love the table setting! It’s very zen with colored glass pebbles all over. A guest asks for a gin and tonic, and Sierra asks if they want alcohol in that. He says, um, that would be the gin part. First up is a crab cake that I desperately want to taste. Seared tuna! One of the guests says something to Kate about Ben, and suggests they ask for a full breakfast at 6 am. Kate says they’re only there for two days so they should be able to eat what and when they want. Hear! Hear!

Captain Lee tells the crew to get ready for departure. Trevor sits around looking at his feet. The water is incredibly blue and beautiful, as is the day. Scupper is having the time of his life. Eggs Benedict Florentine with turkey bacon! Ben asks Kate if they’re happy and she says the only one who isn’t happy is him.Captain Lee says he needs four shots dropped and I get out the Wild Turkey. Scupper has to make poopie, which Trevor calls using the restroom, because he’s a few beers short of a six-pack.

Ben asks Kate to make an agreement. She tells him see you next Tuesday, and he says she’s a Tuesday. She says she’s a Tuesday every day of the week. In his interview, Ben says he hates arguing with her because he can’t ruffle her and basically she’s better at it.

The crew is trying to set up some kind of pool thing – the thing that was delivered at the beginning of the episode. It’s got some kind of net so the guests can swim without coming in contact with sea creatures. Okay, but isn’t that part of the fun?

Scupper dresses in his tux for dinner – seafood on a heavenly cloud. Kelley calls his sister, Amy, who is on another boat with a captain she’s dating. We flash back to when she was on the show. He tells her about Trevor and his altercation with Nico. She says something about three dudes in a hot tub arguing over a tattoo and it sounds like the start of a joke. Or a porn movie.

Dessert is I don’t know what, some kind of fluffy, frothy thing in a tall coffee glass. Just keep ’em comin’. Some of the guests use the hot tub and Kate texts her girlfriend. The guests ask Trevor to have a shot. In his interview, he says what’s one shot to a guy like him who can drink a whole bottle? Because he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Emily says this is a huge no-no, but she’s not into tattling.

The last breakfast is so good, there isn’t even conversation because everyone is concentrating on eating. Time to go. The guests are pleased and glad they could just kick back without having to deal with their own boats. When the crew cleans up, Trevor examines his feet again. Because he’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Captain Lee gathers everyone for tip time. He suggests they work on communication. Ben says it’s diabolical. The haul is $12,000 or $1,085 a piece. They can go out tonight, but tomorrow’s a work day. The crew tries to get as much done as possible before relaxing. Emily does some yoga on the deck and Kelley reminds us that it’s been five months. I remind him that I don’t want to know.

The crew goes out for dinner on shore. Lauren makes a toast and says let’s get weird. Trevor chugs a martini and gives Kate hair advice because he was a Paul Mitchell model. The crew plays on a swingset while Trevor orders 10 different drinks. He falls off of a swing that’s totally still.

Kelley chats up Emily, who is newly single. They play a large-sized game of Jenga. In his interview, Ben says Trevor is past his inebriated threshold. Trevor calls Kate a bitch and Ben says he’s the only one allowed to do that. Trevor tells him to chill out. At this point, Trevor is so incoherent, there are subtitles. Ben tells him no more for you.

Next time, a charter of entrepreneurs, Ben stresses over a 12-course tasting menu, the hot tub overflows on Trevor’s watch, and Trevor argues with Kelley (and might possibly be going home).

September 19, 2016 – GH Wraps Up a Trial & the OC Wives Wrap Up Their Feuds…For Now


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis steps off the stand and keels over. Julian rushes to help her, since defendants can just jump up from their seats and go anywhere in the courtroom . Sam leads her away and Paul asks for a few minutes. They take a recess. Scotty tells Julian he’s doing a great concerned husband act. Julian says it’s not an act. Sonny tells Paul to get him on the stand. He wants to clean up this mess. He’s cleaned up every other mess this year so far; why not this one?

Griff meets Claudette at The Floating Rib.

Maxie is going crazy trying to find her seating chart. Nathan comes into the office. Nina says he’s there on official business.

Michael tells Carly what happened to Sabrrrina. She says she’s sorry and he says, don’t even.

Alexis says she doesn’t understand what’s going on. Sam wants to take her home, but she wants to go back in and fix it.

Julian wants to see how Alexis is doing. Scotty tells him her meltdown is a gift and not to screw it up.

Paul says he changed his mind about Sonny testifying, saying that Scotty will use Sonny’s mob ties to discredit him. Recess is over, so everyone gets off the slides and swings, and Paul calls Sonny to the stand. I guess he changed his mind about changing his mind.

Griff asks Claudette what the agenda was that she was going to tell him about. She asks him if he thinks in saving everyone, he’ll save himself in the process. He’s had enough already and is about to leave, but she stops him. He wants to know why she’s inserting herself into Nathan and Maxie’s lives. That’s a really good question. If I looked like her, had a great job and was living in NYC, it’s highly unlikely I’d be chasing a relationship that’s been dead for years and moving to a town with only one decent restaurant.

Maxie asks what Nina is doing with her wedding plan folder. Nina says she needs to know Maxie’s plans so she can prepare for the photo shoot. Maxie says they talked about a few pictures, but not handing over control of her wedding. Nina says she’ll be in charge of the shoot, but Maxie is in charge of her big day. She does have a few suggestions though. Spinelli knocks at Nina’s office door.

Paul asks Sonny about being present at some events. Events is his word, not mine. “Events” sounds like he’s talking about attending a dance or bake sale. Sonny says he saw Julian try to kill Alexis. Scotty objects to the conjecture. Sonny amends that to seeing Julian hold a knife to Alexis’s throat and then threaten her. He says he took out his gun and Julian told him that by the time Sonny could shoot, he’d slit Alexis’s throat. He talks about how they struggled and he finally stabbed Julian.

Carly apologizes and asks Michael not to push her away. Michael argues with her and Nell steps in. She says Carly feels terrible. Michael says now that Sabrrrina is dead, she must feel relieved. Carly says he’s grieving and angry and can’t handle this alone. Michael tells her to stay the hell away from him and leaves.

Nell tells Carly she can’t believe how Michael talked to her. Carly says he’s hurting. She says she wants to help him, but now he’d just push her away, so she’ll have to wait for him to come to her. Nell says it must be horrible to feel like there’s nothing she can do, but Carly says there is something she can do.

Claudette implies that Griff wants to help Maxie and Nathan to assuage his own guilt. He tells her to forget about them for a minute and asks what’s going on with her. He says he’s willing to help her, but she has to tell him the truth. Good luck with that.

Scotty asks for a minute with his client. He asks Julian if Sonny stabbed him and Julian says yes. How does Scotty not know all this already? Scotty asks Sonny if his gun is licensed and registered, and Sonny says it is. He asks what business Sonny is in and Sonny plugs Perks. Nice business move. Scotty asks if he needs a gun to whip up lattes or does he carry it for another reason? Sonny says it’s for personal protection. Scotty brings up Sonny killing AJ – like AJ was such a great guy – but Sonny says he was pardoned by the governor.

Maxie runs off to talk to Spinelli. Nina asks if Nathan is okay with that, and he says they’re all going to be a part of each other’s lives since Spinelli is Georgie’s father. Nina switches gears and asks Nathan if he has any opinions about the wedding, or is he letting Maxie make all the decisions? Well, that’s the way it usually goes. He sees a book of baby names on Nina’s desk and asks what’s up with that.

Spinelli tells Maxie that he dug into Claudette’s past. Maxie says things have changed. She found out Claudette cheated on Nathan with a priest. She appreciates Spinelli’s outrage on her behalf, but it’s all out in the open, so not of concern anymore. He says she still might want to know what he found out.

Claudette says she’ll let him in on her agenda, if Griff will admit he has a God complex. He says he just wants to help people. She says he wants to save people and there’s a difference. She asks if that’s what he was trying to do years ago with her. She says the only way he can help or save her is if he tells her there’s a chance for them.

Michael talks to Teddy on a park bench, telling him Sabrrrina would always be proud of him. He says he’s sorry, but Teddy’s mother is gone. He sees Nell watching them.

Scotty asks Sonny if Julian hurt him in any way, and Sonny says his sport jacket got messed up, but he fixed it. He asks if Alexis was hurt, and Sonny says not enough to go to the hospital .Scotty says the only one who was seriously injured was Julian. Paul says it’s leading and inflammatory, and the judge sustains his objection. Paul calls Sabrrrina to the stand because he’s pretending to be out of the loop. Carly appears and says Sabrrrina is dead, because anyone is allowed to just walk into the courtroom during a trial and make announcements.

Carly tells everyone that Sabrrrina was murdered at GH. Paul asks for a moment and they take a recess. I call dibs on the merry-go-round. Alexis tells Paul he needs to recall her. She says she’s feeling better now, but Paul says she’ll put the final nail in his case coffin. Paul calls Sabrrrina to the stand again. Huh?

Michael tells Nell that Sabrrrina loved bringing Teddy to the park. He goes down Memory Lane about things we’ve never heard about before, and says she was an awesome mother. He asks why Nell tracked him down. She says Carly really does feel terrible. She tells him before he showed up, she’d been talking about how she wished she could take back what she said, and now she just wants to take his pain away.

Nina tells Nathan the book is for a magazine story. He says please don’t tell him she’s going outside the law for a baby.

Spinelli tells Maxie that he followed Claudette’s moves after she left Nathan and could find nothing. I already know that’s bad. When someone has no internet footprint whatsoever, you have to wonder what they’re hiding. Unless they’re like 90. And even then I’d be suspicious.

Griff says he wants nothing more than to move on, because all they’ve done is cause others pain. He says they meant something to each other once, but if she still has feelings for him, leave Maxie alone.

Okay, Paul wants to bring out Sabrrrina’s deposition. Scotty says he can’t cross-examine it. The judge agrees and the people rest. Scotty says they won’t be calling witnesses and the defense rests. Well that was quick.

Paul makes his closing statement. He talks about Alexis wearing a wire, and how she and Julian ended up at the pier with Julian holding a knife to her throat. They have the dagger, the evidence bag with Julian’s prints on it, and Alexis and Sonny’s testimonies. Shortest. Closing. Statement. Ever.

Nina says she’s not trying to buy a baby and wonders if Nathan is believing Ava, who’s a known liar. She says it’s not going to happen, and he asks if she’s given up on being a mother.

Maxie tells Spinelli no news is good news, since Claudette hasn’t been up to anything insanely wrong or evil. Maybe she’s been crocheting cats on pillows. He says that’s not necessarily a good thing. Maxie says that depends on how you feel about cats on pillows. He says she’s not getting it – there’s no internet presence whatsoever. It’s been deliberately removed.

Griff says whatever Claudette is hiding will come out at the worst possible time, creating the worst possible consequences. Griff gets a call from the hospital and has to go in. He tells Claudette he doesn’t think she’s a bad person, but prove him right and go home. She says she’ll take it under advisement.

Nell says Teddy’s loss is unfathomable, but as someone who didn’t have the best parents, he was still lucky to have her as long as he did. Michael asks for alone time and she leaves. He talks to Teddy about Sabrrrina again. He says the memories will fade and Teddy will stop looking for her, but in his dreams she’ll come back to him. The feelings of love and safety will always be with him, because love doesn’t die. He says Sabrrrina loved him more than anything.

Scotty says the prosecution has nothing – circumstantial at best, and condemning at worst. He talks about Alexis basically saying nothing except that Julian would do anything for her, and all they have are fingerprints on a bag. Are they going to send a man to jail for touching a plastic bag? He plays the this-is-America card, and says you’re innocent until proven guilty. Everyone makes soap opera faces at each other.

Nina tells Nathan she’s given up on actively trying to have a baby, but if one ends up on her doorstep, she’s not giving it back. He says she’d better. She tells Nathan not to worry about her and just worry about getting married.

Spinelli says he can investigate Claudette further, but it could take time. Maxie says maybe Nathan can help, but Spinelli was hoping to keep him out of it. She says they’re not supposed to have secrets, but Spinelli wonders how Nathan will feel about him digging up dirt on his former spouse. Nathan comes in and Maxie tells him what’s going on. He says they’ll talk about it at home because he has to get back to work.

Claudette calls Nathan. She says there’s something she needs to tell him.

Nina looks at the baby name book.

Carly thanks Nell for texting her. Nell says she encouraged Michael to cut her some slack, but he’s stubborn. Carly wonders where he got that from, but says he’ll come around They’ve been through worse.

Sonny comes up behind Michael and puts his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

The judge says blah-blah-blah whatever they say to a jury before deliberation. Scotty says he doesn’t want to jinx anything, but Paul should be quaking in his wingtips. Julian tries to talk to Sam, but she won’t have anything to do with him. Alexis asks Paul how big a disaster it is, and Paul says it’s in the jury’s hands now. But doesn’t everyone love Sonny?

Julian gazes over at Alexis as he leaves the courtroom. She has possibly the saddest face I’ve ever seen.

Tomorrow, Claudette says she’s in trouble and only Nathan can help, Olivia lambastes Alexis, and Carly reminds Sonny he promised the killing would stop. Which I assume means he wants to kill Julian.


The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is still feeling the accident in her lower back. It’s going to take some time to heal, so she’s postponed competing. She tells her trainer/spiritual adviser about how she told Meghan to go to hell. She knows it wasn’t very Christian, but she wanted to say something worse. Her trainer tells her to be a peacemaker, but Tamra says sometimes she just wants to slap a bitch. I identify.

Shannon’s daughters meet with their music instructor. They’ve had a band going for three years and have a gig this weekend where they’re playing an original song. Shannon kibbutzes as they practice. She’s really annoying because she thinks she’s still some kind of rocker chick. If I was the instructor, I’d ask her to leave. She says she was in madrigal, which is a smaller group out of an acapella choir, but I’m guessing that was like a thousand years ago. OMG – she gets up and grabs a mic. Go away, Shannon. She says they’re not Def Leppard, but they’re cute.

Shannon leaves a message for Vicki, saying that she heard a different spin about the accident from the people who were actually in it, and wanted to talk to her. In her interview, Vicki says she doesn’t think Shannon really cares, and doesn’t call her back.

Tamra calls Kelly. She tells Kelly she’s going to Shannon’s to help her pack and asked to bring Kelly, especially since Shannon was including Meghan. In her interview, Kelly says after the accident, she realizes how stupid their feud is. Tamra says she’s like the Rodney King of the OC these days.

Vicki asks what Briana wants to do for Christmas, and Briana says it’s only April. Vicki wonders if she’ll have a boyfriend before Christmas, since she was alone for the holidays last year and it sucked. In her interview, Briana says Vicki likes attention and thinks she’s been playing up the accident. I dunno. It’s not often someone gets airlifted out of a situation. Ryan is able to be home for Briana’s real birthday, even though she and Vicki celebrated their birthdays together last week.

Shannon says she’s bloated, and thinks her adrenals are low, whatever that means. She’s stressed about moving. They have to be out in one week and she’s packed nothing so far. The ladies are coming over today and she hopes to make some headway. Kelly arrives first and we flash back to the last time they were together. She’s concerned that Shannon is a loose canon (ha-ha!) that can go off at any minute. Shannon is nervous that Kelly might attack her. Shannon gets stupid about other people packing her stuff. Last time I moved, I wish I’d had someone else to pack. I kept hoping I’d break stuff just so I didn’t have to pack it.

Tamra realizes that Shannon is going to be Kelly’s neighbor. Kelly apologizes and they hug. Tamra wants clarification as to what exactly the apology is for, but Heather tells her that details are unnecessary. Normally, I’d be with Tamra on this, but it’s not private and with this crowd, a fight can easily start back up again. They check out Shannon’s walk-in closet. Heather immediately starts saying what should be put in the giveaway box. Shannon wants to keep her vegan shoes and Tamra asks if she’s going to eat them. In her interview, Heather says, this is terrible, this is stained, this doesn’t fit you anymore, get rid of it. This, is making me want to clean my own closet.

Meghan arrives last and they decide to take a break. In her interview, Tamra says she doesn’t want to be around Meghan right now. She’s pissed off at how Meghan has been going around saying she was reckless. They have a snack and Shannon invites everyone to her kids’ gig. Heather won’t be able to make it since it’s the one-year anniversary of the skincare line she has with Terry. Shannon asks how Tamra is feeling, but she barely answers. There’s a huge awkward silence, and Tamra says clearly no one wants to talk – meaning Meghan – so she’s going to leave.

Tamra doesn’t want to sit there all fake. Shannon was hoping they could resolve things. Tamra says she heard Meghan has been telling people she caused the accident because she was reckless. Meghan says Tamra told her she got too confident, but Tamra says that shouldn’t give her the need to go around saying what she said. Tamra says Meghan makes everything about herself. Meghan talks about Tamra insinuating she didn’t care. Meghan asks if Tamra thinks that’s okay. If the shoe fits. She certainly didn’t seem like she cared. Tamra says sorry she told her go to hell, but sorrynotsorry she hung up on her. In her interview, Meghan wonders why Shannon gets free pass since they were both on the phone. Shannon says she called and texted Vicki, but got no response. Heather suggests they move on.

Briana and the family go out for lunch. Briana’s brother Michael brings flowers and they toast to Briana’s birthday. Vicki tells everyone about Shannon’s call and Briana says she should acknowledge it. Vicki asks Michael if he has a girlfriend. He says yes, and she wonders why she hasn’t met her. They discuss Tinder and Briana thinks her mother shouldn’t even know about it. Vicki claims to be low maintenance and says she never fights with anyone. We flash back to some doozies. And loud, screeching ones at that. Vicki says she wants a soulmate (gag). She brings up having sex and Briana tells her it’s the wrong audience for that topic.

Shannon’s daughters get ready for their gig. Their parents stress out for them. They say a prayer in the car on the way. Shannon won’t shut up about being nervous and annoys the kids with taking a million pictures. Kelly and Michael arrives first. Kelly apologizes to David for her drunken rant. I like it. Simple and to the point.

Tamra and Eddie come in next, followed by Meghan and the ghost of Jim, who is in St. Louis. David’s sister, another Vicki., shows up with his mother, Donna. Shannon tells the girls her MIL doesn’t like her because she took mommy’s baby boy away. The girls play and it’s okay for kids that age, but nothing special. I’m not sure if they are singing flat, as Shannon suggested in rehearsal, or it’s just a kind of grunge sound. I guess that’s it? One song?

David’s mom introduces herself to Kelly and starts complaining about how Shannon hates her guts and she doesn’t see her grandchildren often. Holy! I’d run away from some stranger who starts telling me their family problems right after the introduction. Kelly says Shannon doesn’t hate her guts and basically wants to be left out of it, and immediately tells Shannon what Donna said. Kelly suggests Shannon be the bigger person, but Shannon says she has been for 15 years. Shannon relays Donna’s gripe to David. Donna goes back to talking to the other girls, telling them that Shannon pushed David to have an affair. I’m not a huge fan of Shannon’s this season, but why is this woman whining to people she just met? That’s just no, no, and more no.

In her interview, Tamra says she went from feeling sorry for Donna to thinking she’s vindictive. Everyone is called upstairs for a buffet. An entire buffet revolving around some kids playing one song. Meghan tells Tamra she doesn’t like being in a bad place with her and apologizes. Tamra says she was freaked out enough, and didn’t need Meghan adding to it. Meghan says she loves and needs Tamra. Apparently, she’s hormonal again.

Tamra asks Shannon if her MIL is joining them for food. Shannon says David barely talks to his mother and they just showed up uninvited. She says the only time he has any relationship with his family, it’s because she’s asked him to. She says that her kids were told she was a bad mother and that was the end of it. Tamra wants to stick her nose in further and tells Shannon what Donna said about David’s affair. Shannon runs to David and gets loud and angry and shakes her finger in his face. Kelly says it’s not David’s fault and Shannon storms out and goes into the ladies room.

David says he’ll deal with it, and Tamra is sorry she said anything. She spends a lot of her time being sorry she said anything. Shannon asks David if he wants to defend his mom or her. She says his family has given her nothing but grief forever. Tamra says Shannon claims to be over the affair, but clearly isn’t. Kelly keeps telling Shannon that Donna wants to make amends, but Shannon not’s having it. Yeah, best stay out of this one. David sits with the ladies and Shannon complains again about what Donna said. She says tonight is about her kids and his mother ruined it. She says she thinks her MIL had wished David left them. David explains that he respects and loves Shannon, so he barely talks to his mother. I wish they’d drag the mother upstairs so she can get involved and there’s a screaming match.

The Beador clan gets into the limo. David explains that Grandma Donna was saying things that she believes, but that aren’t necessarily true. He amends that to inappropriate and not very nice when Shannon squawks. In her interview, Shannon says David needs to be on the side of the truth. David looks like he wants to disappear.

Next time, the Beadors have 30 minutes to get out of the house, the girls go to a mud bath, Kelly and Michael argue, and Tamra gives her take on their relationship.

September 18, 2016 – NJ’s Teresa Confronts Her Cousins & FTD’s Strand Confronts a Knife


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Rosie, Jacqueline and Siggy meet for drinks. Jacqueline talks about Kathy and Rosie surprising Teresa at her book signing. Rosie wants Teresa back in their lives (whether Teresa wants it or not) and was hoping to make a lunch date. Siggy thinks it’s sad that they’re estranged and has high hopes for a reconciliation. Higher hopes than I do, since I basically have none. In her interview, Jacqueline says Teresa is mad at Kathy for things she’s said herself. We flash back to Rosie’s interruption of the last Wives reunion that Teresa attended. Rosie says Teresa didn’t act like she hated her, but she wanted more than that. Siggy says family is worth fighting for. Um…that depends on the family.

Melissa takes Joe #2 go for a Botox treatment. She tells him it will help his migraines and he says he has migraines from stuff like what happened at the book signing. He says family is supposed to pick you up when you’re going down, not agree with the one who’s pushing you down. The doctor comes in and Joe expresses his fear of needles. Melissa takes a picture as he gets his treatment. He suggests a gin chaser.

Ashlee is going with Pete to check out apartments. Pete suggests checking out Hoboken first. I was going to wrinkle my nose until I saw the view. I’m moving tomorrow. They go to an observation area and Pete asks her to marry him. Geez, no fanfare, no warning, no nothing. In her interview, Ashlee recalls dreaming about this moment as a little girl. This is the kind of moment she dreamt of? They nix looking at apartments, and decide to go home to give the family the big announcement. The ring gets my stamp of approval.

Ashlee asks Jacqueline if this dress makes her look fat and then asks if this ring makes her look engaged. Okay, that was kind of cute. Brother CJ and Chris join them. In his interview, Chris says, “She’s all yours, Pete – good luck.” Ha-ha! Champagne is brought out and they all have a toast.

What is up with the windows on Siggy’s house? There’s a huge blank space on the second floor. Jacqueline calls Siggy to tell her about the engagement. She also sends out a group text.

Teresa and Melissa are out for a walk. They discuss Joe #1‘s upcoming trip to camp. The conclusion is that women are stronger than men. Teresa says Joe isn’t taking it all that well, although he keeps saying he’s good. Teresa thinks it will be a plus for Joe to detox. In her interview, Melissa talks about how the men in the family put up a strong front. She feels that Teresa got more in touch with her feelings when she was away and they’re the closest they’ve been.

Siggy comes by Melissa’s place to pick up some jeans and have champagne. There must have been a sale. Teresa is going to join them, and they talk about how exhausted she seems. Melissa says she doesn’t think everything has hit her yet, but every time they talk, more trust is established. Melissa wants to take a group trip to Vermont before Joe #1 leaves and Teresa won’t be able to get away.

Teresa arrives and Melissa presents her idea. She says it will be the girls and Joe #2, but only if Chris will come, because he doesn’t want to be the only guy. Joe #1 isn’t allowed out of the state. After some gentle persuasion, Teresa agrees. Glasses clink.

Dolores is working at the gym. Jacqueline shows up with a Quarter Pounder, with cheese no less. Dolores tells Jacqueline about her idea to empower women and have a ladies weekend at the gym. Jacqueline checks out the equipment. They talk about Ashlee’s engagement. Jacqueline is glad Ashlee and Pete are taking their time, since her own wedding was a backyard affair and she Ashlee will have time to plan.

Jacqueline, Siggy and Teresa meet for drinks. Siggy tells Teresa about how upset Rosie was and how she wants to have lunch with Teresa. Teresa says now her father is involved, since Kathy called him a coward at the reunion. I’m guessing she doesn’t mean a hands-on kind of involvement, just that Kathy dragged his name into it. Jacqueline says that Kathy feels that Teresa started it, since she said something first about Kathy’s parents. Teresa brings up how Kathy and her aunt discussed Teresa’s culpability in going to prison and we flash back to that. In her interview, Teresa says they haven’t treated her well and it’s really none of Siggy’s business. I have to agree here. Even I’m feeling the strain. Teresa tells the girls that she isn’t ready for a relationship with her cousins, and wants to concentrate on her immediate family. Siggy tries to pressure her about the lunch and Teresa says she’ll think about it. She leaves to pick the girls up from school. Siggy tells Jacqueline this is deep, so they need to have hope.

Jacqueline and Siggy go to Kathy’s for lunch. Siggy tells them about meeting with Teresa and brings up what Kathy said about Teresa’s father. Kathy immediately gets excited and talks about how Teresa said things about her family, but at the end of the reunion said she forgave Kathy. Melissa and Joe join the crowd. Siggy starts crying. She’s upset about the whole lunch thing, since she doesn’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Joe #2 says Teresa can’t forget right now and Melissa doesn’t want to get in the middle. Rich talks nonsense about what a happily married couple he and Kathy are, and that Teresa is jealous about that. Joe gets mighty pissed. He says they all know what Rich just did and it’s got to stop. Rich acts ignorant. Joe says something in Italian, which translates to, the tongue doesn’t have bones but can break bones. Rosie gets crazy, saying they all say whatever they want and it all falls on her sister and she won’t have it anymore. Rich says if Joe thinks he’s adding to the fire, he apologizes. To his credit, he says he’ll step back and stay out of it. In his interview, Joe says Teresa needs time to trust them. Finally everyone calms the hell down.

Joe #2 meets Teresa at the gym. He tells her about Kathy and Rich. Teresa says that she’s tired of hearing about it. She says she doens’t like Richie’s company and Joe blabs about what Richie said and how he intimated that Teresa and Joe don’t have love. She says this is exactly the kind of thing she doesn’t want in her life. Joe suggests she have lunch with the girls. She brings up their father being called a coward. He says until she tells them get lost, they’re not going away. Joe offers to come along and she says she’ll do it. That was really nice of him.

Rosie and Kathy show up early for the lunch. Kathy tells Rosie that she doesn’t want to dwell in the past. She says that their parents getting older puts things in perspective. In her interview, Rosie says despite what’s happened in the past few years, she loves the Giudices. She tells Kathy she wants to make her mother proud. Rosie gets all teary and lunch hasn’t even started yet.

In the car, Teresa explains to Joe #2 that she doesn’t enjoy Rosie and Kathy’s company and Joe says he wants them to hear it from her, so they let go. Teresa tells Joe that it breaks her heart that it trickled down to the parents.

Joe #2 and Teresa arrive. Teresa says she feels badly dragging Joe into the lunch. Kathy says she just wants to be a family again. Teresa says they’ll always be family, but she just wants to be left alone. She says Rich always has something negative to say and he’s a big part of the problem. Teresa asks if he has any feeling. A waiter brings menus and Teresa says they’re not eating. Oh, snap!

Teresa says she didn’t even get a card from them the whole time she was away. Kathy says Teresa also shut everyone out, but Teresa disagrees. She tells them she feels like now that she’s in the public eye again, they’re interested in her, and she wants to be around people who were there for her during the bad times. She says there’s been a lot of turmoil and she wants to cut the cancer out. Kathy says they’re not cancer, and Rosie asks if she’s saying she never wants to be a family again. No. She’s saying get off her back right now because you two are way past desperate and she just freakin’ got out of prison.

Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks if they can respect that. Rosie says she doesn’t want to beg. But you are, Blanche! You are! Teresa says she wishes them the best. Joe #2 wakes up and astutely observes that time mends all. Kathy says they’ve opened the door, so if they need anything, they’re here for each other. Teresa says her door is open if they ever need anything. Teresa and Joe leave. In her interview, Teresa says she’s glad there’s closure. She says she reached her breaking point, she’s had enough, and she’s done. She starts to cry on the way to the car, and does that fanning motion with her hand to dry the tears. She tells Joe its exhausting and he says it’s sad.

Next time, the Vermont trip happens. Melissa and Jacqueline argue, and some woman gets involved who I don’t recognize.

Fear the Walking Dead

Francisco, his wife Ana and little girl sneak around Colonia. They head toward the bus exit. The little girl is scared, and Francisco tells her to be calm and quiet. They go through the bus. Ana tells the girl not to look, and Francisco drags a zombie in and guts him. They put the blood on themselves and walk through the zombie horde. Nice crane shot.

The family goes to the outside. Francisco says they should be at another settlement by dark. They hear a truck and hide. Too late. They’ve been seen. Gang leader Marco asks if he knows them. Francisco says he doesn’t think so. Marco continues to question him. He talks to the little girl and Francisco gives him his backpack and asks him to leave them alone. Marco takes out a canteen and pours water over Francisco’s face. He knows Francisco is from Colonia and asks where the Oxy is. Francisco says they left it in Colonia, but Marco doesn’t believe him.

Ofelia is driving around who knows where. She kicks in the door to a restaurant and gives a zombie a hammer to the head. She makes noise to see if there are any others. She looks at the ocean view. She flashes back to when she was there another time with her boyfriend who’s telling her he’s taking a job in Santa Fe. He wants her to come with him and gives her a drink with a ring in it. She says New Mexico is so far, but he says her parents will be fine. He says he’ll talk to her dad and ask for her hand. She says she’s going to talk to her mother. They kiss.

Back to the present. Ofelia peruses a map and fills a gas can.

At the hotel, Madison, Victor and company get things going, putting on the electricity and fishing for food. Hector teaches Alicia some surfing moves and she talks about her brother. Hector asks where he is now, but she says she doesn’t know. She says he’s out there somewhere. She misses who he was, but maybe not who he is now. Hector says his brother is gone. Madison brings them ice water and tells them the generator is working.

Luci and Nick are in bed. There’s a knock at Luci’s door. A guy says Francisco is gone and he took his family. Luci is surprised that he’d desert them. Nick says he’ll help with the search.

Victor, Alicia, Madison and Elena are having some coffee – which must taste really good – in one of the hotel rooms. There’s a knock at the door. Victor answers and gets knifed for his trouble. It’s the mother-of-the-bride, Ilene. I gasp and say wtf? She babbles something about her daughter and leaves. Worst. Room. Service. Ever.

The ladies tend to Victor. One of the guests, Andres, says he had a year of medical training and Elena has Alicia get the first aid kit. Andres makes excuses for Ilene, but Victor says her grief is a little extreme. No vital organs have been hit, but they still don’t have what they need. Elena, Madison and Oscar decide to make a trip to Marco’s gang supermarket.

Luci tells Alejandro about Francisco leaving. He asks if she knew, but she says no. Alejandro says he’s a coward. Luci thinks Alejandro should speak to the people, and he tells her to gather their inner circle.

Victor tells Madison to keep the drinks coming. He thinks Ilene should be exiled, but Madison says she should be locked up indefinitely. It’s either that or the street. She says they can’t have violence and if anyone raises a hand to another, they’re out. She says it’s the only way this can work.

Alejandro makes a speech about how what lies beyond the wall is worse than death, a wasteland, the end. He says death will not take them if they stick together and have faith. He asks them to stand with him, and says they’re more together than apart. Nick looks unconvinced and asks Luci if Alejandro is okay. After the meeting, Luci tells Alejandro that they’re going out. He asks if she spoke to the scouts and she says not yet. He asks if she wants to follow Francisco. She says this is her home and her people and she wants to serve. He says to speak to the scouts then. Nick says if they don’t deliver the Oxy, the gang will come looking for them. Alejandro says they stay until he says differently. Yes, boss.

Madison tells Alicia and Andres to keep an eye on Victor. She says they’ll be back in two hours. She, Elena and Oscar leave in a truck. Madison asks what Elena and Hector were arguing about. Elena was hoping she could get his brother to come home. She says Antonio chose to stay with the gang and Hector won’t forgive him for it.

Nick asks Luci if she’s okay. She’s upset about what Alejandro said, but Nick says he’s just scared because the natives are getting restless. He tells her they have to get the people their meds. She says Alejandro has always known what he’s doing. Nick says the gang could come looking for them, but she says they stay, because she’s really stupid.

Elena, Madison and Oscar go to the gang supermarket. Elena asks for Antonio. Madison and Oscar set down a cooler. The guard says they can come in, but not the guy who’s with them, only Madison and Elena.

Nick visits Alejandro, who asks if Luci is all right. Nick says she will be, and Alejandro says she’s never questioned him before. Nick says if they don’t make the trade, he thinks the gang will come looking for them. He says the danger is now and real and out there. Alejandro gets testy about them not having faith. He says he never asked to be the one to make the decisions. Nick is like, so I should just follow you blindly? Alejandro says to trust him and says he trusts Nick. Apparently, not that much.

Elena sees Antonio and he tells her she shouldn’t have brought the Americano with her. He looks in the cooler and asks if they can get more fish. Elena tells him his brother asked about him. In the meantime, Francisco is upstairs, getting shaken down in Spanish. Madison asks Elena if they’re the ones being discussed, but Elena says he’s talking about a place called Colonia. As the questioning goes on, Elena translates and Madison realizes they’re talking about Nick. She starts to move toward the stairs and Elena is like, don’t do this.

Madison gets involved and asks if they’re talking about Nick. Elena tells her they walk away now or be killed. Antonio tells Elena to get out and don’t come back. Elena tries to get him to ditch the gang, but he says they won’t be there much longer.

Nick asks one of the scouts, Renaldo, to make the trade with him. He says they need water and Alejandro isn’t a rainmaker. Renaldo says Americans always want to fix someone else’s problems, but Nick says he just gives a sh*t. Renaldo tells him they’ll meet later.

Luci tells Nick that the people need reassurance. Instead of giving into fear, the people need to bring their concerns to Alejandro’s inner circle. Nick asks her to join him inside for a drink, but I think he means something else.

Andres tells Victor that his heart doesn’t have enough blood to pump to all the organs. Victor asks if he should write his will, but Andres says Madison will be back soon. Alicia takes over putting pressure on the wound. Victor tells Alicia she has a better bedside manner than Andres. She says she’s not going to tell him it’s going to be all right because it might not be, and he laughs, which is probably a bad idea. He says he changed his mind; her bedside manner is abysmal. They agree on not liking sugarcoating. He asks what she meant when she said she’d raised herself. She says Madison was busy with Nick and his drug addiction, and her father. He says she has Madison all to herself now, but Alicia says she didn’t want it like this, and she isn’t sure Madison sees her. Victor says make her then.

Nick looks down at the zombie wall. Marco is looking back through binoculars. It’s hard to tell if Nick sees him or he just happens to be looking that way.

Ofelia consults the map. She looks at her rosary and flashes back to being with her mother. They talk about their weekend. Ofelia says her father seems unhappy whether business is good or bad. Griselda says God whispered to her about this man and that he’s a hard man. She’s says she’s a hard woman, and they survived together and came there for Ofelia. She tells Ofelia she couldn’t imagine what they saw, the violence and the blood. They didn’t want that life for her. Griselda says that Ofelia’s father still has nightmares. They didn’t want her to live in fear and would have done anything for her, like Griselda would do anything for Ofelia’s father, because that’s love. Ofelia takes her mother’s hand.

Ofelia kisses the crucifix of her rosary and says she understands now. She starts the car and heads for the US.

When Madison and company return, Elena tells Alicia about Madison’s tangle with the gang. The neon light with the name of the hotel goes on, and Alicia tells Madison she’s inviting in the same people that they want to stay away. She says Madison risked everything for a rumor about someone who may or may not be Nick. Madison says she knows it’s Nick. Alicia doesn’t get it; Nick chose what’s out there over them. Madison says maybe he changed his mind. Alicia says she never changed hers and she’s there. Why isn’t that enough?

The hotel light is extinguished, but not before Travis sees it.

Next time, Travis is digging graves, Madison apologizes, Travis wants to make a break for it – Chris not so much, and Madison insists Nick is out there.

September 16, 2016 – Good-by to GH’s Sabrrrina, Hello to Z Nation & a Few Quotes


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis is sworn in.

Carly is trying to get Michael on the phone. She thinks he’s not calling back because he’s angry with her. Nell shows up at the MetroCourt for her first day as Carly’s assistant. Nina walks in right behind her and says Nell doesn’t look pregnant.

Michael talks to dead Sabrrrina. He tells her how he wanted to give her everything. Tracy comes in and puts her hands on his shoulders. Geez, I would be careful about startling anyone under the circumstances.

Monica wakes up. Jason says he’ll tell her everything, but wants to know how she’s feeling first. She says tired, but she’s not in pain. She asks what happened and he tells her about being injected by the hospital killer.

Paul asks Alexis to tell the court about what happened. She talks about wearing a wire to record Julian. He asks if the recording has the whole confession, but Scotty objects and it’s sustained. Paul asks her if she can tell the court what Julian said. Not quite the same as a taped confession, but it’s still pretty good evidence having an eye witness, or ear witness as it were.

Nell tells Nina that she has the wrong person. Nina says she was meeting a woman who’s giving up her baby for adoption. Nell says she’s definitely not her. Carly introduces them and Nell is happy to meet Nina face to face and thanks her. She says without Nina, she never would have met Josslyn and her family.

Felix is beside himself, wondering who could have done this to Sabrrrina. Dante says probably the person you’d least suspect. Well, I dunno about that. I’d suspect Paul of pretty much anything and everything.

Jason tells Monica that she was found in her office. She says the last thing she remembers was talking to someone about keeping the hospital open. The next thing was a voice telling her about a grandchild. Well, that sure wasn’t Paul.

Paul asks Alexis about the dagger. Scotty objects to everything throughout the questioning, and Alexis stumbles over some of her words and seems confused. She talks about the dagger disappearing from the PCPD evidence locker, and says that it had her prints and Carrrlos’s DNA on it. She found out Julian had taken it and asked him if he’d set her up purposely. Alexis flashes back to their conversation and spaces out a bit. She says Julian swore that everything he was doing was to keep them together. Paul asks what Julian did to make sure Carrrlos wouldn’t testify against him.

Tracy tells Michael about how much she loved having Sabrrrina in the house and that’s why she wanted them to hurry up and get married. She says Sabrrrina loved Michael and there’s no doubt in her mind that she would have said yes to his proposal.

Both Nell and Carly thank Nina for what she did.

Jason tells Monica that he and Sam are having a baby. She says it gave her incentive to wake up.

Paul asks Alexis about what Julian told her about the crime. She asks Paul to tell Julian to stop staring at her. Paul asks about Carrrlos’s murder. Scotty says he’s leading, but Alexis says no, Julian wanted to shut Carrrlos up. She says her answer isn’t going to change, whether Paul leads or not. Paul asks if Julian murdered Carrrlos and she says yes. Scotty says Paul is leading her again, and the judge asks if Alexis needs a moment because she appears to be under the influence. Alexis says no, but the judge has the statement about Carrrlos being murdered stricken from the record. I go, whaaat? and remember that Paul gave Alexis something to drink before the trial. I wondered what it was at the time, but she didn’t look at it weird or anything when she took a sip, so I brushed the thought aside. Maybe he slipped a drug into it.

Jason asks Dante if he’s seen Tracy and tells him Monica just woke up. Don’t get a doctor or anything. Dante says Tracy is in with Michael and Sabrrrina was found strangled. Jason asks if he thinks whoever did it was after Monica.

Michael tells Tracy how excited Sabrrrina was to get back to work. Tracy says she saved Monica’s life and tells him about Monica being injected. He asks if she’s okay and Tracy says Sabrrrina is the reason she’s alive.

Carly tells Nina and Nell about the argument with Michael. She asks Nina if she’s still considering adoption. Nina says she wasn’t considering it anymore, but figured she’d meet with the girl anyway and it looks like she got stood up. Carly tells her that Nell is going to be her personal assistant. Nina tells Nell she needs a better outfit and she’s there to help. She wants to take her to Crimson’s office because she’d fit the sample size. What is that now? A size 00?

Paul asks Alexis what information would have led her husband to kill Carrrlos. Alexis asks Paul to stop calling Julian her husband. She starts to talk about Duke and gets confused. Paul asks about Julian trying to kill her. We get mini flashbacks throughout the scene. Alexis starts to cry and the judge allows a ten-minute recess. Scotty tells Julian that Alexis is a basket case, which is great for them. Julian goes over to Alexis and tells her that no matter what happens, he loves her, because he’s allowed to just wander around the courtroom. Sam tells him to stay away from her mother.

Jordan asks Sonny what the what? He says he knew Alexis was ragged (ha-ha! that word again), but he didn’t realize how bad off she was. Jordan asks Paul if Alexis is doing this on purpose to throw off the trial. She goes out to the hallway and asks Alexis if she had a drink, and Alexis says yes. I still think whatever Paul gave her is what’s affecting her. It’s highly doubtful one drink would make her so discombobulated.

Tracy visits Monica. She says she’s glad Monica is okay and she was worried they were going to lose her. Monica says Tracy just wants to take over the house. Tracy explains that Sabrrrina found her and did CPR. Monica says Sabrrrina had a helluva first day and wants to thank her. Tracy tells her Sabrrrina was murdered, probably by the same person.

Dante says they have to figure out the timing.He tells Michael that they’re gong to get this guy. They need an autopsy and to get DNA samples. The sooner they do it, the sooner they can get moving on the case. Michael asks for a little more time.

Jordan is livid. She asks Alexis if this was the plan all along. Sam promises that Alexis isn’t throwing the case. Alexis says she had one glass of wine. Jordan says it looks like she had a lot more than that. Alexis says Julian is staring at her and she can’t think straight. She promises to get it together and Sam wonders if she’s going to be okay.

Sonny asks Paul how he’s going to fix this. Paul says he was hoping Alexis would, since they lost the confession as evidence. Everyone returns to the courtroom.

Paul asks Alexis if she alleges that Julian tried to kill her, and she says yes. He has no further questions. Scotty asks if Alexis knew that Julian had been implicated in Duke’s murder. She says yes, and he asks why she didn’t call the police when Julian was burning evidence. He asks why she waited until she got dragged in. She says she didn’t kill Carrrlos and doesn’t believe in violence. Scotty brings up some old stuff, like her running over that guy and murdering Stavros. Paul keeps objecting, and the judge asks Scotty to remember who’s on trial. Julian jumps up and tells Scotty to leave his wife alone.

Dante asks Monica what she remembers. She says she was in her office, trying to come up with a plan to keep the hospital open and the next thing she knew, she was talking to Jason. She remembers a smell of cologne or aftershave and recalls that she’s smelled it before – at home. Tracy wonders if someone who lives in the house has the same cologne. Monica says it’s not a family member, but maybe a guest.

The judge says the witness isn’t on trial and the next time, Scotty is looking at contempt of court. Jordan tells Paul something is happening at the hospital and she has to leave. Scotty says Alexis told the court Julian had nothing to do with Duke’s murder. She says that’s not right, he ordered Duke’s murder. Scotty says the only thing she’s said so far is that Julian loves her and would do anything for her. Scotty questions Julian trying to kill her, and she gets confused again. Sam jumps up and says Julian did try to kill her.

Nell comes back in a fabulous black and white dress that only really thin people can wear comfortably. Nina tells her they’ll expand her wardrobe little by little and leaves. Nell calls her a force of nature.

Michael talks ore to Sabrrrina than he ever did when she was alive. Um…she’s breathing and I can see it. Pretty soon, she’s going to get up just to get away from his voice. He keeps grabbing her hand and I can’t help thinking that she’s also been dead a while, but her body isn’t stiff in any way. The makeup is really good though. Jason walks in.

Dante tells Jordan that Sabrrrina must have figured out who tried to kill Monica. Tracy doesn’t want to support keeping the hospital open anymore. Monica has to agree. Jordan says there’s something they need to discuss with her. Monica says there’s no other choice but to close GH before anyone else gets hurt.

Now Felix talks to dead Sabrrrina, telling her how wonderful she was. And how now he’ll have to find another roommate. Just kidding. He talks about what a rock she was for him, and how she was his best friend and will miss her for the rest of his life. He puts the sheet over her. Marc Anthony Samuel is so good, even though I’m making fun of this, he almost brings tears to my eyes. We get a flashback of early Sabrrrina and Felix stuff, and the almost marriage to Patrick. Felix looks at the empty hospital bed.

Michael goes to Carly. She apologizes, saying she’s sorry for what she said about him and Sabrrrina. He says it doesn’t matter because she’s dead. Way to drop a mic, Mike.

The judge tells Sam to sit down and the next person who interrupts is getting contempt charges. She chastises the lawyers, saying it’s there fault for grandstanding. She asks Scotty if he has any further questions. He asks if Alexis expects them to believe anything she has to say, and she tells him she’s telling the truth. She steps down, then starts to fall down. Julian catches her while Paul looks on with a smug soap opera face. Paul gives great face.

Tomorrow, Griff asks Claudette for the truth, Michael tells Carly to stay away from him, and Nell sympathizes with a friend.

Z Nation

Doc tells us we’re going to see a flashback movie and puts on his shades.

We hear Roberta say that sometimes our darkest moments hold the key to our future.

We’re at a pool with a bunch of gorgeous women. A phone is picked up by a creepy hand with black nails. On the other end, “The Man” answers and says, “Just one more” and “24-hours.” He says that mercy has a different meaning where he is. He goes into a boxcar where there are prisoners with hoods over their heads. He tells them it will all be over soon.

The Man drives to a compound. He’s wearing flip-flops with a suit, wears one earring and looks like a bald Chris Reeve. He tells them he’s looking for a Dr. Harold Teller. He shows them a paper and says his is the last name on the list, the others are accounted for. The guard says they don’t know the doctor, but The Man says he’s founder of Mercy Sciences where they all worked. The guard accuses The Man of kidnapping people and says he’s nothing but an executioner. The Man says he’s just misunderstood. The guard asks for a badge. The Man says it’s the apocalypse and he doesn’t need a badge, making me laugh. He says he’s authorized to do whatever it takes to talk to the doctor. A zombie ambles by and he has it incapacitated and a mouth guard put on it, saying he’s “recycling.” The guard says the doctor died, but The Man has a drone photo taken yesterday. He’s better than The Real Housewives at having an answer for everything. A little boy throws something at him and gets knocked out for his trouble. The Man says if the doctor doesn’t show up in 24-hours, the child dies and it’s on them. The little boy gets thrown in the trunk. The boy’s sister asks Dr. Teller if he’s going to let her brother die. The Man also reminds me of a character out of a Dean Koontz novel. Like one of those government killing machines.

The boy regains consciousness next to an angry zombie. He pops the trunk and jumps out, running through the woods. He runs into 10K who brings him to the Operation Bitemark group.

Operation Bitemark is facing its own group of zombies. Cassandra is there, so this must be in the past. I get chills, I’m so happy to see the opening credits. which are similar to Ash vs. the Evil Dead. Zombie killing is interspersed with the credits.

Roberta wipes her blade. Murphy has his baby, Lucy, with him. The little boy says you gotta kill man. Roberta tells Doc to give the kid some water and says they’re not killing anybody. He can’t seem to drink out of a cup and caws at Murphy. Roberta says the apocalypse must be all he knows and asks if he has a family. He says a sister and she asks if she’s with the others who are in trouble. They discuss helping, but tell him they’re on a mission. The boy steals 10K‘s gun and runs. 10K runs after him and the boy’s sister pops him in the head from behind. She and 10K struggle and the rest of the group shows up.

Doc grabs the kid and the sister is gotten under control. Roberta says they’re going to talk. She asks what the child is so afraid of. The sister tells her about The Man and his list. She says he’s coming back in the morning and he’s going to kill them one by one until he finds the doctor. Doc asks what’s up with that, and she says some people say he’s some kind of avenging angel. It turns out the little boy was raised by crows and does a lot of cawing. He looks like a perfect Toby for Sweeney Todd.

Addie looks at the compound and says they could use vehicles. Murphy asks if now is the time he shows them the tattoo on his ass that says “never get off the boat.” They decide to check things out and Murphy says it’s time to really get that tattoo and maybe one for Cassandra.

They all head to the compound and go through an opening in the fence. The woman brings them through and tells the guard that they’re here to help. He wants them to go and Murphy says they’re not planning on staying. The woman tells Dr. Teller that they saved her brother. Roberta says he must be the man on the list.

Roberta talks to Dr. Teller. She asks why they don’t leave and he says it’s all they have left and asks if they can help. She says lives are at stake for them too. He says he knows they have other priorities, but his people have vehicles and food and can help in return.

The boy plays with a crow he calls “the old one.” 10K asks if the boy was really raised by a murder of crows. The woman says for two years the crows took care of him. She’s not really his sister, but found him a year ago. 10K introduces himself and explains his name, saying that he’s at 3225½ zombies, since one was only a torso. The woman’s name is Red. 10K says Doc says red is an unlucky color, but she says she’s still alive. She’s going for food with her not really brother and asks if he wants to come along.

Murphy rocks Lucy. He asks Cassandra if she said something, but it’s not her he’s hearing. He hears the sounds of zombies, but sees nothing except people. He puts the baby down and decides to look around. He tells Cassandra to keep an eye on her and feed her if she gets hungry. Hope she doesn’t take that eye thing literally.

Murphy walks quietly through the makeshift town

The Man comes back. He tells the boy he’s glad to see he’s okay. They were afraid the zombie had eaten him. He drops a body and says they had to show one of their guards mercy. He wants the doctor. A guard says The Man told them 24 hours and he says he lied. Each person there says they’re Dr. Teller, while the real one hides inside.

The Man says apparently Dr. Teller has made some friends and Spartacus is one of his favorite movies, but he and his clones are crucified upside down in the end. Roberta asks why he doesn’t leave everyone alone. He asks who she is and she says Dr. Teller. He says he’ll give them more time to think through the consequences of cooperating. He says have the real doctor waiting or he’ll find him through the process of elimination. He says don’t be a hero and Roberta says don’t come back.

Commercial break and I get excited all over again because I have no life.

10K and Red are about to leave and Crow Boy shows up looking like a 10K mini-me and follows. Doc asks if he’s supposed to be 5K, which is what we’ll call him now.

Dr. Teller discusses defense with Roberta and the others. She wants to stay and fight. He thanks them, saying they would’t have a chance without them. Addie doesn’t understand why The Man didn’t just overtake the place. Roberta asks what they want with the doctor and he says he doesn’t know. He says he was developing new pain meds from mold, but the lab is contaminated now. Roberta wants to see what they have in man power.

It’s not much. Roberta tells them if they do exactly what she says, they might live. She teaches them how to shoot and how to not waste ammunition.

Roberta talks about the silo full of zombies in Kansas. She says The Man likes messing with people’s heads, and maybe someone should mess with his. She asks if there are any Clint Eastwood fans in the group.

Murphy noses around the compound. He goes into a building where sounds are drawing him. There are creatures trapped inside that look like the zombies from Planet Terror. Voices in his head tell him to please kill them. He asks what happened to them and his head starts to hurt. He cries out and backs away. Dr. Teller comes in and asks what he’s doing there. He says the doctor has a zombie torture chamber going on and he could hear them crying out for mercy. Dr. Teller says they can’t speak. Murphy wants to know why they haven’t been mercied. The doctor says they’re not zombies but humans. At least he thinks they are

Murphy says he can hear what one of them is thinking. The doctor says it’s his wife, Sarah. Murphy tells him she wants to know where their son, Andrew, is.

Dr. Teller sys she hasn’t been able to speak for years. Murphy says he’s a zombie whisperer. The doctor says they’ve been exposed, but they’re not zombies. Sarah was his partner in Mercy Labs. They were genetically modifying fungus to find a cure. They were able to stop the virus from spreading, but it had horrible side effects. Zombies overran the lab, and the fungus went everywhere. It stopped the virus from killing them, but the fungus also overran their bodies. No one could bring themselves to mercy them, so he tried to keep them comfortable. No one thought hey’d live long, but it’s been four years.

Crows circle overhead. 10K teaches 5K how to work a slingshot. Obviously, no one eats crow around here. Except maybe metaphorically.

Lucy starts to cry and Cassandra doesn’t know what to do. Doc says maybe they should get out while they still can. Murphy says they should move on and let the people sort it out. He says it’s the definition of a lost cause. Roberta says if they leave now, the people will die tomorrow morning. She says they have a good plan of defense and maybe they can reason with The Man. Murphy is like, yeah right, and she says they have to be ready unless he comes back early. She says he wants Dr. Teller alive. Doc asks what if he won’t leave well enough alone, and she says sh*t will fly then.

Cassandra is breast feeding Lucy. Doc and Addie are mystified and Murphy asks if they don’t have someplace to be or something to blow up.

Roberta goes outside and finds 10K, Red and 5K. 5K slingshots a snake and offers some to her, who declines. Roberta tells them she’s checking the perimeter and they should get back inside. A crow finishes the snake.

Roberta sees The Man in the distance and follows him. Who is this dude? And why is he wearing flip-flops? She comes up behind him with a gun and shoots but it’s not him and the real man comes up behind her and knocks her out. Dammit, Roberta! You should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.

Addie looks for Roberta and finds her sword. The Man makes a phone call to the pool. He says to make sure there’s a transport standing by. We’re back where we started.

In the boxcar, The Man says it will all be over soon. Except for one prisoner – Roberta. He says she’s not going anywhere. She says they’ll kill him. He says maybe. She says the doctor would go but doesn’t want to leave his wife; she’s dying. He says everyone is dying and he has a schedule to keep, adding, let’s see how much her friends love her.

He says judgement is upon us but ultimately it is’t going to make a difference. He tells one of his men to keep an eye on Roberta.

Addie tells Doc that The Man has Roberta. He says stick with Plan A. They’ll want to trade her for the doctor. Murphy translates Sarah’s thoughts for Dr. Teller. He says either way he’s screwed, whether he stays or goes. Doc tells them about Roberta, but says they stick with Plan A, full tilt boogie. Murphy is a little distressed that Roberta is gone, but Doc is adamant that they follow through.

Plan A goes into effect. Operation Bitemark locks down the town. Red and 10K are outside with 5K on watch. All kinds of crazy stuff is happening. Sandbags are put into cannons, as much corrugated steel as possible is made into blockades, weapons are handed out. Everyone dons red suits and Doc wearing his red shades; there’s red everywhere. Murphy takes Lucy from Cassandra and stores her in a cooler. The doctor brings Murphy and Cassandra suits to shield them from contamination.

The Man’s guard plays solitaire. The Man looks at the compound behind his aviators. He says the good and the bad is about to get ugly.

Doc tells Dr. Teller to stay out of site until he’s called for, and let him do the talking. The Man’s caravan comes down the road. Everyone is ready. The Man says despite their best efforts, the people are going to put up a fight, and to remember why they’re doing this.

10K and Red see the caravan go by. 10K runs with the old crow flying ahead. The Man gets out of his car. Doc tells everyone to move out. He points his gun at The Man, who has worn normal shoes for this occasion, but has paired them with pants and a suit vest with nothing underneath it, which is kind of awesome looking. The Man unfurls a red handkerchief. A truck horn blows and he tells them to open up.

Doc tells him that he’d better not hurt Roberta. The Man says she’s not on his list, but Dr. Teller is, and he wants a trade. Doc says he wants to know that Roberta is alive. The Man tells the guard to put Spartacus on the radio. Well he can’t, he’s dead. Roberta says she’s still alive, but his men not so much, and she’s coming for him now. Doc calls The Man “Kojack” and says he ’d better be gone by the time she gets there. The Man says to send in the clowns.

A truckload of zombies is set free. Doc goes behind the barricade. I’m thinking this should be nothing for them, but these zombies are particularly enthusiastic and energetic. They claw and pull at the fence. Everyone inside shoots and some people have individual barricades that they’re inside.

From a distance Roberta and company see what’s going on, while The Man has a snack. The zombies get in, but are thwarted by the barricades. Roberta and the group get inside, but 5K is freaked for a moment and he and 10K get separated from the girls. There are zombies all over the place at this point.

The Man shrugs it off when he sees them coming. Roberta and Red join the others. The man pulls the truck horn and says, “release the kraken.” A bunch of zombies on chains come out. They’re wearing homemade metal helmets and their hair is sticking out in some places, so it’s pretty bizarre looking. A guy wearing a hood and brandishing a whip urges them on. This is seriously wild. They’re like a team of insane horses. They bust into the compound and everyone is like, uh-oh, what now? I say shoot them in the kneecaps. If they can’t walk, they can’t get to you.

Roberta says the zombies have been mercy proofed and Doc says that’s not fair. OMG – they’re just knocking down all the barricades and getting through everywhere. Roberta calls to Addie and says get ready to open up. Doc says, oh sh*t, and everyone moves out of the way. Roberta lights the cannons.

When the smoke clears, the zombies and whipping guy are down. Whew! That was gooood!

Doc says he’d pay money to see that again. Suddenly, The Man is there, cracking the whip with the dead whipmaster in his other arm. The mercy proofed zombies come back to life, Take them down at the knees, I say, or better yet shoot The Man. The Man shoots the chains, breaking them so the zombies go free. Roberta yells for everyone to fall back and get into the lab. They all go inside.

The Man calls for his live men, who come into the lab with guns. Sarah leads Dr. Teller, Murphy and Cassandra to the back. She leaves to help the others. They hear gunfire.

10K and his mini me get separated in an area where there are tanks of some kind, either for water or gas. 5K crawls into a pipe to get away from a zombie, but the bastard crawls in after him. 10K shows up, pulling the zombie out and giving it mercy.

The helmet zombies are going nuts bouncing off the walls. The live guys with the guns are behind them, using stun guns to control them forward. They go through the lab, kicking doors open. The Man stands outside, calling for Dr. Teller. He says it doesn’t have to end like this. He calls for Spartacus to send out the doctor and all will be forgiven.

5K shoots a gear into The Man’s chest with the slingshot. This doesn’t phase him one bit and he says he takes that as a no. 10K drags the boy out of harm’s way.

Sarah lurks in the dark of the lab. A few glow-in-the-dark zombies are on the loose. Roberta opens the door a crack and sees a lab zombie stomp the crap out of a gunman. 10k and 5k take aim, but are distracted with another attack. The Man gets into the building and sees the dead dude they left behind, picks up some duct tape and plastic, and continues on. I’m confused

Dr Teller brings Sarah in. She’s dying. I think. He cries and says he’s sorry. Murphy tells him she says he can end it now. He tells her he loves her and kisses her. Yuk! Zombie spittle! Murphy says he needs to mercy her and gives him a gun. Dr. Teller shoots her in the head. She’s still glowing though.

God only knows what they’ve all been exposed to The wall blows open and The Man walks in wearing a a plastic and duct tape suit. Very MacGyver of him. Murphy asks what his problem is. He says he has no problem with Murphy, Murphy isn’t on his list. He wants Dr. Teller. Dr Teller says he’s not going anywhere. He tries to shoot himself, but the gun is out of ammunition. He mumbles, “Goddam apocalypse,” and I laugh.

The Man says it’s time to go, knocks the doctor out, slings him over his shoulder, and walks out.through the hole in the wall. Murphy says that’s why they call him “The Man.”

No. It’s almost over.

Operation Bitemark sneaks through the lab. One of the helmet zombies takes Doc down, but he manages to shoot it under the helmet. More zombies pop out, and finally one of the gunmen gets eaten when he tries to attack Doc.

Back by the tanks, 10K runs from a zombie horde. He give 5K a knife. Oh sh*t! They’re trapped between the tanks and some cement barriers. They’re blocked in. So far, the zombies are too stupid to realize they could climb over the barriers (kind of like muskrats trying to get into your garden). They’re separated from the zombies, but there’s no escape. All of a sudden, 5K is gone.

Addie sees one the people she helped train lying there dead. Before she can grieve for two seconds, a helmet zombie comes in and she makes mincemeat out of it with her battleaxe, smashing through its helmet. It’s a little Monty Python-ish for a moment.

Roberta tells Murphy they’re going to make them GTFO. Operation Bitemark goes through the lab, killing what or whoever isn’t with them. They come out into the light. Roberta looks around and asks where everybody is, but there are no survivors. Murphy says he told her, never get off the boat. A helicopter flies overheard, carrying a boxcar underneath it.

The Man sits in a car watching the helicopter. He takes a paper out of an envelope and looks at it. A new list? He starts the car. 10K returns. Red asks where 5K is. He says he tried to find him, but he was gone. Red doesn’t want to believe it and runs for the gate. 10K runs after her. Cassandra tackles him and I wonder if this a foreshadowing of her death.

We hear Roberta’s voice say that the worst thing about the apocalypse isn’t dying or turning zombie. The worst thing is surviving. Red charges the zombie horde.

The helicopter goes over the pool and lands nearby. We see the creepy hand again. The people in the hoods get out of the boxcar. They’re led to the pool by one of the bathing beauties. Another one removes their hoods. They blink at the sun. Are they food? Does the creepy hand drink the blood of engineers?? Does The Man have a new list and will we see him again???

The old crow gathers with his murder. They pay respect to 5K’s body. A bizarrely poignant ending.

Next time looks more fun than a barrel of zombies. The zombies have weapons and the crew gets a real boat.

And where are Citizen Z and Pup?

I have to take a nap now. Not really. I’m going to watch this again.

Quotes of the Week

One of the worst days in America’s history saw some of the bravest acts in Americans’ history. We’ll always honor the heroes of 9/11. And here at this hallowed place, we pledge that we will never forget their sacrifice. — President George W. Bush at the Pentagon in 2008

If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate.Sandy Dahl, wife of Flight 93 pilot Jason Dahl, in Shanksville, Pa., in 2002

Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens. — Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

September 15, 2016 – GH’s Killer Strikes Again & Z Nation is Coming!


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Normally, I recap both Thursday’s and Friday’s GH on Friday, but since Z Nation is having a two-hour season premiere tomorrow, I figured I’d drop off Thursday’s GH now. I couldn’t be more excited about Z Nation coming back, although this means I’ll have to catch the MasterChef finale On Demand. I think the blond chick is going to win.

General Hospital

Julian asks Scotty if he changed the plea. Scotty says no, and he has a better deal for Julian in the envelope he’s holding. It’s Julian’s ticket to freedom.

Alexis thanks Sonny for trying to convince Julian to do the honorable thing, but tells him that he was wasting his time. Paul comes running in, making up an excuse for being late.

Tracy threatens Monica that she’s going to put compromising photos of her online if she doesn’t wake up. She adds that she’s going to correct all the hideous decorating mistakes Monica has made over the years too. She waits for Monica to tell her to put a sock in it.

Lulu tells Dante it’s confirmed that there’s no record of Daphne living at the address she gave them, but obviously Daphne is a real person. Dante says they have no proof of anything and can only assume she worked for Valentin. Lulu asks if he’s giving up.

Sam and Alexis talk before the trial. Ava walks in, all dolled up in a chic, black, body-hugging number. Alexis says once Julian is behind bars, they’re rid of the Jerome family once and for all. Sonny tells Jordan funny how they’re on the same side this time. Ava calls Paul a bastard and says he’s railroading Julian. She’s putting on a show, but tells him quietly if Julian doesn’t go free, he goes to prison.

Michael runs into Jason at the hospital. He tells Jason that he has a surprise for Sabrrrina. I think maybe he’s the one who’s getting the surprise, since she’s unconscious in Monica’s office.

Lulu says no one said it would be easy to find the embryo. Dante says the logical explanation is that it was destroyed in the explosion. Lulu says if Helena got out, she took it with her. She says if she has a shot at finding out what happened to it, she’s going to take it.

Michael says he was inspired by Jason’s wedding. He tells Jason about Carly’s protests. Jason says no woman is going to be right for him in his mother’s eyes, but everything will go well if he sticks to plan. A doctor comes out and asks Jason if he’s there to visit his mother, confusing him. The doctor tells him Monica has been admitted as a patient.

Tracy tells Monica she didn’t get better just to have her check out. and she can’t do this alone.

Michael talks to Felix. When he sees the ring, Felix jokes around like it’s for him, saying he could get used to being a Quartermaine. Michael tells him that he’s going to ask Sabrrrina to marry him.

Ava and Paul continue to pretend argue. Paul tells her to take a seat. Alexis tells Jordan not to worry, that she’s got it under control. Julian is led in. Sam tells Alexis that he’s just another criminal. Judge Lasser takes the bench. She asks if Paul is ready to proceed, and tells him to give the opening statement.

Felix tells Michael that he didn’t know they were thinking about marriage and wonders why now? Michael says he didn’t want to wait another minute for them to become a family, but Sabrrrina can have as long an engagement as she wants. Felix tells him to go for it and make an honest woman of her.

Dante says if there’s an embryo out there and she gives birth to it, it will be Stavros’s child. She says that’s not the baby’s fault. Dante wonders why she would want to raise a child with Stavros’s DNA. She says it’s the last embryo that has her DNA. She asks Dante if he can love the child. He says he would, but there is no child, and they don’t even know if there’s an embryo.

Doc interrupts Dante and Lulu. He asks if he can talk to Lulu about her mother.

The doctor tells Jason about how Monica was attacked and says she’s in the ICU. Jason runs off to see her.

Paul makes his opening remarks. He’s going to prove Julian is guilty of murder, attempted murder, and conspiracy, because he values money above life. He says Julian has already convicted himself with his confession, and he’s confident the jury will see that justice is served by finding him guilty. The judge asks Scotty if he’s ready, but he says he wants a meeting first, since some evidence has come to light.

Michael has a plan where he’ll propose as a violinist plays. Probably the same invisible musician that played at Jason’s wedding. He wants Felix to take pictures, but Felix is still on duty. Felix goes into Monica’s office and finds Sabrrrina on the floor. Note: If you’re going to have someone take pictures of a surprise event, make sure the surprisee knows enough to dress well and put on makeup. This tip doesn’t apply to Sabrrina however, since no amount of makeup is going to fix this.

Dante says he has to make a call anyway, so he’ll let Lulu and Doc catch up. Doc asks if she’s heard from Laura. She says just an email here and there, while she gets Spencer settled in school. She says after that, Laura will probably be in touch with him. He says he hopes so. He tells her right when things were going well, he did something stupid and hurt her. He says he wants to make it up to her, but it’s difficult when she’s thousands of miles away.

The medics try to revive Sabrrrina, but she’s dead. I gotta say, they surprised me with this one.

Jason asks Tracy how Monica is doing, and Tracy says holding her own. She tells him the doctors say it could go either way, and the only thing they can do is wait.

Lulu tells Doc that she’s sure they’ll work it out. He says please tell Laura I love her…I mean, that he’s thinking of her. Dante comes back and tells Lulu he has to get to work. Lulu asks Doc if he wants to stay and have dinner with her, since Dante bailed. He tells her he’s a shrink and can’t help but have observed they were talking about something serious and asks if there’s anything she needs to talk about.

Scotty wants a meeting in chambers, but the judge says since he waited until the last minute, she’ll do it right there. She tells everyone they’re in recess, but don’t wander too far. Scotty gives her a request for the wire tap that got the confession. It was requested for Alexis’s home, but the address number was typed wrong, so the evidence was illegally obtained. He requests the evidence be thrown out. Puh-leeze.

Lulu tells Doc about how she believes someone lives at the address on Cassadine Island. He jokes with her and says she reminds him of Laura. He reminds Lulu about how she discouraged Laura from doing the same thing, and she says okay, she’s a hypocrite. She says now that she’s in Laura’s shoes, she understands, and won’t rest until she finds out what happened to the embryo.

Tracy says she could have let the board close the hospital, but Jason says none of this is her fault. She says she knew there was a risk. He says she kept a hospital open so that people could get the medical treatment they need.

Hey, does no more Sabrrrina mean no more Joe? I wonder if there will be a custody battle with Michael for Teddy. Dante asks Felix for a list of who has access to the area. Felix says it’s not restricted, so pretty much anyone could be there. Dante asks where Felix was, and Michael steps in and tells Dante what they’d been doing. He says he was texting Sabrrrina and ran into Felix, they talked for a while in front of the office, but no one came in or out. He says when Felix went in, he found Sabrrrina on the floor. A detective tells Dante that Sabrrrina was strangled. Dante says that the theory is Elizabeth was pushed by the killer and they have a picture from her phone.

Paul says the request is a copy that could easily have been doctored. Judge Lasser says she’ll send for the original, and when she gets it, she’ll make a ruling as to whether it’s admissible. Sonny asks Jordan if there was any problem, but she says Scotty is grasping at straws. Scotty taunts Paul, but Paul says it will be thrown out.

Ava tells Julian to have patience and she’ll tell him everything when he’s out and treats her to a martini.

Alexis tells Paul to please tell her this isn’t going to fall apart.

Dante asks Michael if Sabrrrina had any conflicts with anyone. Michael says it was her first day back and she was excited about it. He tells Dante to find out who did this and asks to see her. Dante leaves him alone with Sabrrrina’s body.

Doc says best case scenario, Lulu finds the embryo and has a child, but what happens when the day to day comes in. He says it wasn’t conceived in love. The child will be a product of her and her attacker, and would be a constant reminder. He asks what happens if she looks down at the child and sees Stavros looking back at her. Lulu says she and Dante already discussed it. Doc says reality might be different and asks if she’s ready to face that.

Michael sits next to Sabrrrina’s body, saying he doesn’t know how to say good-by. He says he just got her back and their time together meant everything to him. He thought they’d have forever, but he’s glad they didn’t waste what they did have.

Jason talks to unconscious Monica. He talks about how she dealt with him after his accident. All he wanted to do is be left alone, and she let him, and then he realized how alone he was. At the time he didn’t understand because he didn’t have kids of his own, but now he gets it. He tells her there’s another one on the way and he’d do anything for his kids, just like she would do for him. He thanks her for that and for how much she loves him. He calls her mom.

The judge tells the court about the typo. She reviewed the original and says Alexis’s address was incorrect. They can’t use the taped confession. Jordan says she filed the warrant herself and knows it was correct. The judge says no more speaking out and let’s proceed. Scotty says he moves that the case be tossed out because of insufficient evidence.

Lulu says Doc is right; they have no idea how this will affect them, but Nicholas was Stavros’s son and she loved him, and has no doubt Dante will love the baby. She also wants to give Rocco a sibling. She says the bottom line is that part of her is out there and she needs to find it. Then she’ll decide what to do.

Jason says family means everything to his kids and he expects Monica will continue to spoil them and spoil the new one. He needs her to stick around. His kids need her and he needs her. He keeps calling her mom while he’s talking. Monica opens her eyes.

Paul says despite the loss of the wire tap, the prosecution wants to proceed. The judge says if the people think they can make their case, she won’t stand in the way. She tells Scotty to make his opening statement.

Scotty says Julian isn’t guilty. He’s innocent. That’s it? That’s Scotty’s opening statement? The judge says the people can call their first witness. Paul calls Alexis.

At the hospital, Tracy sees Dante and asks who it is this time? She sees Felix and knows. She sees Michael through the window. He puts the ring on Sabrrrina’s finger. Ok, I won’t make a joke about this, but it’s killing me not to, no pun intended. He says he’ll always love her.

Tomorrow, Jason wonders if Sabrrrina’s death is connected to Monica’s attack, Carly introduces Nell to Nina, and the trial continues.

😱 And Tomorrow is Z Nation!

September 14, 2016 – GH’s Hayden Gets Caught, LA’s Christy Gets Evidence, NYC Wives Get to the End & AHS Begins


What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis and Diane show up early for court. Alexis says Molly helped grill her, but she’s used to asking the questions, not answering them. She can’t believe the day is finally here and it’s going to be the beginning of the end for Julian, She says it’s divine justice that her testimony will be the one to put him away.

Julian is shaving, although I’m questioning why anyone would be giving a prisoner a razor blade. He says it’s his last day there and asks if the guard will miss him.

Carly tells Sonny once Julian is put away, they’ll get their lives back. Fat chance of that, since you’re characters on a soap opera.

Elizabeth says Hayden had no right to the diamonds. Hayden says Elizabeth had no right to her blood either, but she gave it to her. Franco tells them again that they’re sisters and he can prove it. Elizabeth asks if he’s just being his usual wildly inappropriate self, but he says he didn’t want them to find out this way. He tells them that they have the same father and explains that Jeff Webber had an affair with Hayden’s mother while he was married, and their gift to the world is Hayden.

Finn tells Tracy he was a suspect and ended up in jail, so the board is unlikely to listen to him.

Monica is on the phone in the half-dark of her office. She tells Epiphany she’s busy and doesn’t want any interruptions. Paul grabs Monica from behind and injects her. He tells her she got what she deserved. As he’s leaving, he runs into Sabrrrina, and I die laughing at the look on his face. Sabrrrina wants to talk to Monica and like an idiot Paul just lurks around while she goes into the office. Sabrrrina finds Monica on the floor.

Carly asks Sonny how the jury could do anything but send Julian to prison for the rest of his life. Sonny says a lot can still go wrong. He says Ava should have gone to prison for killing Connie and the confession disappeared. Carly insists Julian is going away for good and maybe they can go on their long-delayed honeymoon. She says she needs to help at the hotel since Leo is sick, and Sonny says that another good thing about Julian being locked up for life is that Leo will never know what a creep his father is.

Tracy tells Finn the suspension was lifted and the board will listen. He says maybe they’re tired of hearing him defended and maybe tired of him altogether. She says she personally needs his support. He tells her she should have presented it that way to begin with, and he’ll support her in anything. On the way out, they run into Michael, who asks about the hospital closing. Tracy says not if she and Finn have anything to say about it. She tells him the silly look of love on his face is annoying and she wants to know what his intentions are with Sabrrrina.

Diane has Alexis do deep breathing exercises in the witness box. She says once Alexis is done with her testimony, she’ll never have to see Julian again. Alexis says the thought of being married to him sickens her. Diane asks if she can handle condemning him in front of a jury.

Julian looks for his tie. Sonny comes in – using his own key – and asks if this is the tie he’s looking for, twisting it in his hands.

Hayden tells Franco that’s a lie. Her father is Raymond Berlin and he might not be perfect, but she loves him and he loves her. She says her mother even told her she looks like him. Franco says maybe she was compensating. Elizabeth says her father could do no wrong, and her parents marriage was perfect in every way, and she wants to know where he got this information. He says from Heather, and while she is a lunatic who shouldn’t be taken at face value, Naomi confirmed it.

Finn asks if Tracy shouldn’t be clutching some pearls while she questions Michael. Tracy says if Michael isn’t making a commitment, she needs to know. She doesn’t want Sabrrrina wasting her time. Michael says he’s meeting Sabrrrina later and having a serious conversation with her. He shows them a ring and says he’s asking her to be his wife. Carly overhears and says, hell no.

Paul appears Monica’s office doorway. Sabrrrina asks what happened and Paul acts like he was on his way to get help. Just not very quickly.

Diane tells Alexis she needs to bring her A-game. She asks what if Julian stands up and declares his love again. Alexis says she’ll vomit and Diane says, no she won’t. She’ll act indifferent. Diane says if he’d had his way, Alexis would be cold in the ground, and her daughters would have no mother. She says Alexis can’t get emotional or she’ll come off as the wronged woman. Diane tells her that Paul will be very dramatic and showboat. She goes over what Paul might say.

Julian calls for the guard, but Sonny says he’s on break, giving them private time. He says a while back, he offered Julian a deal and he needs an answer. Is he pleading guilty or going to have a fatal accident his first week in prison? Julian says nothing has changed and he’s taking his chances with the trial. He says Sonny is only worried about him getting acquitted. Sonny says he’s worried about Kristina’s mother and doesn’t want her put through reliving everything.

Alexis says she knows Julian’s moves and she’s ready. She tells Diane about how she even asked Julian to speak to the bar and he refused. He wouldn’t lift a finger to help her. She says Julian is a narcissist and she’s sending him to prison. Diane tells her to hang onto that thought.

Hayden asks in what world Franco knows her mother. Franco tells her about Naomi visiting Heather the same day he did, and finding out that Heather was blackmailing her. Hayden wonders if her father knows. She puts two and two together about how Naomi has been acting about Elizabeth, wanting Hayden to be nice to her. Hayden says she saved her sister’s life, and her sister repaid her by destroying hers.

Sabrrrina does CPR on Monica. Monica starts to breathe and Sabrrrina calls for help.

Tracy says if Carly doesn’t think Sabrrrina is good enough for her son, they should take a trip down Memory Lane, because Carly hasn’t always been perfect. Finn tells Tracy that they should get back to the hospital. They leave. Carly tells Michael they need the kind of love that transforms you and sustains you, and she doesn’t think they feel that way about each other. Nice of her to define love for someone else.

The doctor finds an injection site on Monica’s neck and tells Sabrrrina to get the police. In the hallway, Paul gives instructions about the trial to someone on the phone. Sabrrrina interrupts him and tells him about the injection mark. He says he’ll call the police, and she realizes he never got help. Paul goes humana-humana and makes me laugh. He says he’ll call the commissioner. He reaches into his pocket and Sabrrrina makes a soap opera face looking at his hand. I actually like Paul a lot and hope that somehow they keep him on as a character. Or we could always find out he has a brother, like Carrrlos suddenly did.

Franco says maybe Elizabeth doesn’t seem super grateful, but she didn’t ruin Hayden’s life. Hayden is like, oh yeah? and tells him what happened with the diamonds. Elizabeth says she wasn’t going to let Hayden get away with pushing her down the stairs. Franco tells her about the picture and how it was a man who did it. Elizabeth says if she’d known, she’d have done it differently. She asks for a phone. The phone rings its Nathan. Nathan tells her something we don’t hear. She tells Franco that Nathan has the diamonds, Sabrrrina told them everything, and she’s sorry. Hayden says she is too; she’s sorry she ever wasted her time or a drop of her blood saving Elizabeth’s miserable life.

Diane says the cooler Alexis stays, the more rattled the defense becomes. Alexis says she’s ready for anything Paul does, and she’s not going to let Julian or Scotty get to her. Diane has to leave and tells her good luck.

Sonny tells Julian about Alexis getting her license suspended. Julian pretends to be concerned. Sonny says if he wants to do something for her, plead guilty, and goes over all the despicable things Julian has done. He says do the right thing for once, own up to what he did and take the consequences. Sonny leaves, locking the cell behind him. He passes Scotty.

Scotty asks why sonny was there. Julian says he wants to plead guilty. Oh wow.

Michael asks what gives Carly the right to decide Sabrrrina doesn’t love him? Carly says she passed the baby off as his and has proved it over and over. Michael is like, and you’ve never done anything like that? She says what has Sabrrrina ever done for him.

Sabrrrina starts babbling and backing away from Paul. He grabs her and covers her mouth.

Scotty has a mini freak out. Julian says it’s not like he’s going to be acquitted anyway. Scotty says he’d be lying if he said the odds were in Julian’s favor because of the recording, but the only way to fight is to discredit Alexis. He tells Scotty to go make a deal, shocking all of us.

Sonny asks Alexis if she’s okay. He says he’s not judging, just the opposite. He tells her he did her a favor, but not to get her hopes up.

Scotty is given an envelope that was just delivered. He takes something out and says, wait till they get a load of this.

The doctor works on Monica. Tracy asks what happened and the doctor tells her about the injection mark.

Finn runs into Hayden, who tells him about the diamonds. He says he’s sorry and it’s bad news, but not the end of the world. She says she committed a federal crime. She has to get out of there and isn’t even stopping to pack.

Franco takes the phone away from Elizabeth, who says this could all be a lie since no one is credible. She says Hayden is a stranger and a liar and a thief, but she saved her life. She’s pretty upset about thinking Hayden tried to kill her. She wonders who the man in the picture is, and why he’d want to kill her.

Paul drags Sabrrrina into Monica’s office. She’s screaming and crying and struggling and he’s freaking out, saying sorry he can’t spare her.

Carly tells Michael that he’s too compassionate for his own good. Sabrrrina has been hurt and he’s trying to make up for it. He tells Carly it’s more than that, but if she can’t accept it, too bad. She asks him to just give it some time and think about it. She says she wants to support him, but give the family time to trust Sabrrrina again.

Sabrrrina tries to get to her phone, but Paul tosses it aside. These two are really good in this scene, very realistic reactions.

Carly tells Michael that he and Sabrrrina have the rest of their lives together. Michael says they love each other and he doesn’t give a damn if she doesn’t believe it. He’s going to ask Sabrrrina to marry him.

Sabrrina lies unconscious. Her phone rings. It’s Michael texting that he has a surprise for her.

Tracy talks to an unconscious Monica, telling her that she can’t do it without her.

Hayden says she has to go as soon as possible. Finn tells her she can’t run that far and that there’s always another way out. If she stays, he’ll be with her every step of the way. He tells her to come with him and they’ll make a plan. Roxie likes her, so she can stay with him as long as she likes.

Oh crap. Too late. The Feds come out of the elevator and arrest her.

Franco tells Elizabeth to focus on recovery. She says she has to figure out how to fix it with Hayden, and the only reason she gave over the diamonds was because she thought Hayden tried to kill her. Franco says deep down Hayden knows that too, and he’d never forgive himself if what he told Elizabeth interfered with her recovery. Elizabeth says he’s been there for her and they hold hands.

Alexis gets ready to testify, while Scotty tells Julian that he has his ticket to freedom. He has a has a better deal for Julian in the envelope.

Tomorrow, Alexis thinks Sonny tried to get Julian to make a noble gesture and it was a futile effort, Paul comes to court late saying he had an emergency, and the doctor continues to work on Monica.

Little Women: LA

Christy and family are bowling. Todd and Christy’s mother have been on a league, but Christy bowls about as well as I do. Which isn’t very good. I think my high score is 90. They talk about the Murder Mystery Party. Todd and Christy whine about how the girls blamed her for Briana being served a summons at Kerwin’s party, and flash back to that. Christy insists she had nothing to do with it. Todd makes some excuse about Julie figuring it out herself because she knew Christy’s schedule. Todd brings up the girls suggesting that Christy is popping pills. Christy says something about Matt hitting on a transgender woman, and thinks she should bring her to meet the girls. Her mom thinks that’s a fine idea, but Todd isn’t so sure.

Jason meets Terra for a dance class. In her interview, she talks about trying to get in dancing shape before her gig on Dancing with the Stars. Joe isn’t thrilled with it happening only three weeks after her c-section. After class, Terra talks to Jason. She tells him what’s been happening with the girls and about her DWTS gig. She says she hasn’t told the girls yet. Jason is thrilled for her.

Christy thinks Jasmine is fake because one minute she’s nice and the next she’s a bitch like Terra. She wants to find out if Jasmine is on her side, so they meet for lunch. Jasmine asks how Christy’s father is, but he’s not doing well. Jasmine apologizes for being harsh. She says she’s been frustrated with Christy, because Briana has been through so much. She says Christy spilled the beans about the transgender thing and then had a hand in Briana being served. Jasmine asks how she knew it was going to happen, and Christy says Julie told her that Briana was in trouble. In her interview, Jasmine wonders how they can forgive Christy for something she won’t admit to. Jasmine tells Christy that she doesn’t understand her actions, and Christy says she’s not the bad guy, Matt is.

It’s 102 degrees, and Terra wants to live in the pool. Joe joins her, saying it was fitting that Christy was the murderer at the party. Terra says she’s the only link to Julie and wonders if a one on one with Julie would help. She says she has a good relationship with her, even though she didn’t want to have the same publicist as Briana. She wants to get to the bottom of this and Joe wants to get to the bottom of her bikini. Ha-ha! Joe cracks me up.

Baby Maverick comes home after spending two weeks in the ICU. Briana explains that because of her type of dwarfism, she has no sense of smell, so it’s both a hindrance and a blessing when it comes to dirty diapers. Matt says he never wants to go backwards again and tells Briana how beautiful she looks.

Terra meets with Julie, and Julie asks what she wants to talk about. Terra says Briana was served papers at a party. Julie explains how Briana stranded her in Las Vegas not showing up for an appearance, and how later Matt called and said they were unhappy with the contract. Terra says this version is very different from Briana’s and Julie thinks Matt is the problem. Julie says that she had no address for Briana after she moved and she hired an investigator to hunt her down. She says Christy called after the party wondering why Briana was served, but Julie said she doesn’t discuss other clients. In her interview, Terra says that Christy claimed she hadn’t known the papers were served at the party, yet obviously she did. Julie says that Christy wasn’t involved, but Terra feels like a piece of the story is still missing. Yes, I’m aware of how stupid this all sounds.

The girls, minus Christy and Briana, take an archery class. Terra says they need to take their frustration out on something. Jasmine looks really cool. She has feathers in her hair that match her orange tank top. These girls always have some interesting fashion choices going on. They have a little tournament after the learn some skills.

Afterwards, they sit and chat. Tonya says her activewear line is coming out this week. She’s having a photo shoot and would like them to model. Terra balks at modeling while she so pregnant. We flash back to the whole altercation between Tonya and Terra about the line. Terra says she wants to invite Christy. Jasmine talks about meeting with her and how her dad has cancer. Tonya says she thought he’d just had a cancer scare. Jasmine says that Christy told her that her father is dying. Terra thinks she’s deflecting. In her interview, Terra says her own father died from cancer and hopes Christy’s father recovers, but she doesn’t think that’s the reason Christy is acting this way. Jasmine thinks they should be supportive. Terra tells them about the meeting with Julie and how she caught a slip up. Elena thinks Christy isn’t a bad person and is just trying to fix her friendship with Briana, but continues to shoot herself in the foot. Tonya says Christy is crazy, but harmless, and the girls need to accept her for who she is. She tells the girls that until Christy fixes whatever her problem is, it’s going to continue to cycle back around, and them jumping into it isn’t helping.

Preston takes Elena for a gondola ride. They’re having a date night. Elena talks about how she worries about the babies constantly. She says she feels like she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she must be doing something right. She tells Preston about the archery tournament and how they had fun with no fighting. She talks about how she has a different perspective about what’s going on with Christy. Preston asks if she could talk to Christy, but Elena thinks it might be pointless. She says Christy not seeing there’s a problem is part of the problem.

Plastic (yes, that’s her name), a transgender friend of Briana’s and Christy’s, confided in Christy that Matt was sexting her. Plastic and Christy go for a manicure. Plastic says it’s been uncomfortable. She got a private message from Matt after she and Briana posted a picture on Instagram. At first she thought he was legit friendly, but then he started talking about how Briana isn’t adventurous and he wanted to meet with Plastic before her surgery because it would turn him on more. He claimed to have a tranny fetish and a dwarf fetish. He sent her a d*ck pic and that was the end of it. Plastic thinks he’s objectifying the both of them.

The girls meet for Tonya’s photo shoot. She hopes it goes better than the fitness video. She wanted two average sized people, but one couldn’t make it, so her daughter will be the only one. She says she wanted all kinds of people, little and average, pregnant, fit, and Christy. She asks Elena if she’ll work as director. Elena tells her she should have had someone there to do makeup. Terra asks where the logo is and gloats when she finds out Tonya changed it. In her interview, Terra says she thought the logo was the problem, but then Christy showed up.

The girls actually look pretty cute. Everyone is enjoying the shoot, and then Plastic shows up. Tonya is annoyed. She didn’t want any extra people because she needs the models to focus. Christy introduces Plastic and then reminds everyone about when she told them Matt chatted up a transgender. Tonya says love you, but whatever Matt does is his business and it’s irrelevant. Plastic says she’s there because the ladies have been getting on Christy’s case. She says Matt wrote to her that he has a transgender fetish and Tonya says he has a fetish for everyone. Tonya says they don’t need to prove this, and Plastic needs to go.

I know I’m the one who decided to invest in this show, but sometimes I just shake my head. If someone showed up at my photo shoot uninvited when I was on the clock, we wouldn’t even have been discussing it this far. They would have been an in and out item. No pun intended.

Plastic is offended and Tonya says she wasn’t invited. She tells Christy that Plastic has to go and they don’t give a flying about Marr. In her interview, Elena says she gets what Christy is trying to prove, but why here? Plastic calls Tonya transophobic. I guess Plastic doesn’t understand about paying for studio time. Terra can’t believe she said that. Tonya says she has no problem with transgenders, but she has a problem with someone taking up her shoot time. She and Plastic trade insults. Christy is clueless as to why Tonya would be angry about this. Lots of F-Us exchanged. Angelique tries to keep Tonya from popping Plastic in the nose…er, knee. They finally leave and Tonya is livid. She says she tried to be nice and include Christy, and this is what she gets. Outside, Plastic continues to call Tonya transphobic. Jasmine says she’d actually felt sorry for Christy.

No preview.

The Real Housewives of NYC – The Reunion – Part Three

We open with Sonja’s sobriety, flashing back to the various women discussing her drinking, among each other and with her. Surprise! her life and relationships improve when she calls it quits. Andy gives her props. Sonja says she always quits around the holidays and just decided to extend her abstinence. She says she has the occasional sip of something now, but never finishes a glass. The Countess compliments her and the others also give her kudos. Andy asks Bethenny about being too harsh, and she agrees that she was. Sonja says she understood and knows how Bethenny operates. Dorinda tells Sonja she’s delusional and makes it about the trip to the Berkshires.

Sonja tarnishes things a little by pointing fingers, mostly at Ramona, because she was supposed to go in on Tipsy Girl. We move on to the Berkshires trip like Dorinda wanted us to. She stands by her decision. I guess to ask them to leave. Or maybe that she made it nice. The Countess says she worked through it, and Bethenny says she did call Dorinda afterward. Andy says Dorinda must have had respect for Sonja when she was so much fun sober. Sonja says friends don’t exclude friends, and she was alone around the holidays. Dorinda tells her that she needs to sort her sh*t out. Sonja talks about being excluded again and Bethenny tells her to put it in perspective since it was only one night.

Sonja says Dorinda doesn’t care about her feelings and she walks off. She says she doesn’t want to be a part of the show unless Dorinda admits to not caring. Andy says everyone just said how incredible she is, and the women encourage her to sit back down. Sonja talks in a whiny voice and cozies up to Jules.

We revisit Miami. We got the yacht! The ring! Sonja’s lover! We’re getting married! I love the little squares where we see the Wives reactions to the videos. Andy asks if The Countess had been worried about inviting other women he dated to the engagement party. Jules says that two of her bridesmaids were ex-girlfriends of her husband, but we know how that ended up, so…

Sonja regrets her remarks about The Countess’s ring, although I didn’t like the ring either. The Countess says she didn’t take it personally, and Sonja says sorry again, adding that she was really mad at Tom. Andy brings up Bethenny calling Dorinda the village idiot. Bethenny says Dorinda plays ignorance is bliss. She says Dorinda is always the last to know. Dorinda says she’s just a hopeful person, but thanks for the analysis. Bethenny asks Dorinda to define village idiot and Dorinda does a Quasimodo impression. Bethenny says she didn’t get the metaphor, but I don’t either.Although I more think of Otis on The Andy Griffith Show.

Andy brings up Bethenny chastising Carole for being late to dinner and everyone talks at once. Jules talks about Carole being nicer and more relaxed when she’s not around Bethenny. A couple of the ladies say Bethenny’s personality out-shadows Carole’s. Andy bugs Ramona about lying when she went to Bagatelle, but Ramona says she avoids conflict. Dorinda says Bethenny browbeats people, calling them names and being nasty, and she often walks away feeling bad after talking to her. Bethenny says that’s how she feels right now. I like Bethenny, but I have to agree that this season she’s been pretty aggressive. I chalked it up to the horror that is suckerfish Jason Hoppy.

On to the moment we’ve all been waiting for – the Tom bomb. Roll the tape! Dorinda and The Countess whisper to each other throughout. Andy wonders how Bethenny got the pictures. She says someone who is in that circle sent her the pictures one night in the wee hours. Andy brings up The Countess saying she had an open marriage with Alex. She denies saying it, but everyone agrees that she did. She makes up a bunch of stuff. Andy asks Bethenny why she didn’t tell The Countess first and The Countess interjects that they wanted to talk about her behind her back and say she’s the village idiot. The Countess says she should have gone to Dorinda, if anyone, since she’d introduced them, instead of Ramona and Carole.

The Countess asks why Bethenny asked her about monogamy. Bethenny says she’s not doing this anymore and gets up. This must be around the eleventh hour, when everyone is sweaty, starving, and out of their minds. She twirls around a little and sits back down. Bethenny tries to explain that she didn’t know what to do, so she asked questions and almost called Tom. She says she didn’t want to see The Countess hurt and wants her to be happy, and that’s why she was so emotional. For some reason, Dorinda looks smug. Maybe she’s thinking about her laundry man, John.

Andy asks if The Countess thinks Bethenny is sincere. The Countess says all the investigation Bethenny did seemed odd. Bethenny says she wanted to be sure and most people want to know what, when and where. The Countess says she was devestated and shocked. Andy asks what Tom said on the phone, since we didn’t hear it. The Countess says they’d had a fight and he went to The Regency, got drunk, and saw an old girlfriend. She says in the morning, he was in bed where he was supposed to be. She says it was embarrassing and heartbreaking.

Andy asks if they’d all want to know if their partner was cheating, and everyone says yes. The Countess says the problem was how it was done and she wishes Dorinda had told her. Bethenny says next time her fiance of one week is making out with someone else, she’ll know what to do.

Dorinda says when they got back, The Countess was in shock. She invited The Countess to stay with her and told her not to see Tom, but The Countess went to a hotel. Dorinda says The Countess was in a state of panic and Tom wanted her to lie about it. She wasn’t about to get in the middle and be the fall guy. Not to mention there was that pesky picture. Dorinda says Tom did give her an apology later. The Countess makes up stuff to make Tom sound better.

The Countess says Tom was sad and sorry, and she decided she wasn’t going to let it ruin her life. Ramona asks what she’d do if he did it again and would she want to know. The Countess says not from Bethenny. She says they love each other and decided to work things out. Since then it’s been unicorns and rainbows. Andy asks how the kids reacted and she says Noel was furious. She had to tell them since she didn’t know if it would come out in some big way. Yeah, like on the show. She says if it happens again, they’d better tell her and Ramona asks if she’s sure.

Andy says he feels crass asking, but Ramona keeps questioning whether The Countess would want to know. He wonders if she knows something. Ramona says she doesn’t. Dammit! I thought we’d get more evidence whipped out. Andy asks The Countess if it hadn’t been so public, would she have been as upset. She says because it was in public, she was less upset because it was obvious he wasn’t thinking clearly.

A viewer asks if The Countess is in love with Tom or in love with being in love with a man like Tom? She says he’s the male version of her. Ramona feels her reasoning is too shallow, but The Countess says he even likes her kids.

The Countess says it’s one of the roughest things she’s ever gone through, and she’s not going to let a kiss ruin their life together. They’re getting married! She thanks the girls for being there for her.

Wrapping it up, Andy asks if Bethenny and The Countess can get past it. Bethenny says it’s been like opening a new wound and The Countess hit a new low saying she was sleeping with a married man. The Countess says she was given misinformation and apologizes.

They go through the things they would have handled differently, and none of them are very interesting or surprising. Dorinda compliments Sonja on being a survivor, saying she admires that in a woman. Ramona says she’s glad The Countess is happy and The Countess wishes them all happiness. She’s getting married!

Andy can’t wait to see what happens next and says they’re the reason why he loves New York women so much. There’s a group hug with everyone except Bethenny, who remains seated.

👻 While I’m not recapping American Horror Story, I’ll be watching. All I have to say about the first episode tonight is that when an amazing old house is cheap, you know there’s going to be a scary problem. A hail storm of teeth was a great start.