Monthly Archives: October 2016

October 11, 2016 – Morgan is Missing on GH, Randal & the Baby are Still Missing on ILYIW, & Two Guests Almost Go Missing on Below Deck

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Franco is getting some take-out food from The Floating Rib, and tries to con Nell into giving it to him for free. He tells her to put it on his tab and that he’s Jason Morgan. Nell says she knows Jason Morgan. Carly walks in and interjects that Franco is no Jason Morgan.

Sam stops by Elizabeth’s with a text book that Jake forgot. Elizabeth invites her in and asks how she’s doing with the pregnancy. Sam says she’s glad the first trimester is over. She says she’s happy that Elizabeth survived Paul’s attack, and Elizabeth says she’s one of the lucky ones.

Julian asks if anyone has spoken to whoever stole the car, or if they were crispy fried in the crash. An officer tells Dante there are no signs of his brother.

Sam tells Elizabeth she knows they’ll never be friends, but maybe they can try to get along better. Elizabeth says that Sam and Jason have to accept that Franco is part of her life.

Carly suggests that Nell google Franco (why isn’t she telling her to use Spyder-Finder?), but only if she has a strong stomach. She asks Nell what the problem is, and Nell tells her that he’s out of cash. Carly takes the bag out of his hands, but he tells her it’s for Elizabeth. He says once upon a time, Elizabeth gave Carly’s kid a kidney from her kid, and even if it turned out that it didn’t happen, it’s the thought that counts. Carly gives him back the bag and tells him to get out.

Dante says he wants updates every five minutes and tells the officer to get with the Coast Guard. Julian says it must have been Morgan who stole the car, and Dante says it was. Julian says there are no skid marks and that it was no accident; it was meant to happen, just not to Morgan. Dante tells him to shut up.

Jason tells Sonny there was an accident. He tells Sonny about TJ trying to stop Morgan from stealing the car and that Morgan was drunk. He talks about getting Morgan to pull over and how when Morgan got out, the car exploded. What was that Griff said about the sins of the fathers? Although Sonny did call it off. Someone besides Pete is going to get fired.

Julian walks into Ava’s place and he asks if they’re alone. She says they are, and he wants her to double the guard. He says they’re in trouble.

Sam says Elizabeth can’t expect her and Jason to give their blessing after all Franco has done. Elizabeth says she just doesn’t want them interfering. Sam says fine, but Franco will turn on her like he does everyone else. She tells Elizabeth to keep Franco out of her face, and Elizabeth says don’t turn around. Franco is in the doorway.

Carly says Franco’s google is pretty disturbing. Carly says she’s made some bad choices, but he was one of the worst. Nell asks about Elizabeth. Carly tells Nell about how they thought Josslyn had gotten Jake’s kidney. Carly says she’s not exactly welcome in some circles. Nell says there are plenty of awful people in Port Charles, but Carly isn’t one of them.

Ava says she doesn’t need protection. Julian says he does. Someone just tried to kill him.

Sonny comes running to the accident scene. Dante tells him there’s no trace of Morgan. Sonny thinks he got away. Jason says that when the car went over, Morgan did too. Dante says they’re searching for him. Maybe he’s off with Nicholas, sipping umbrella drinks on an island somewhere.

Franco asks if everything is okay, and Elizabeth tells him that Sam was dropping off a book for Jake. He asks if she wants to join them for take-out. Sam tells Franco to stay away from her and her son. Jake comes downstairs and asks why they’re fighting.

Carly tells Nell that when she was Nell’s age, she was a wrecking ball. She says she interfered in her mother’s marriage and hurt people she cared about, and probably others who didn’t deserve to be hurt. Nell says people are probably just jealous of her. They want what she has – respect, a great job, and a strong marriage. Nell says she has it all, and if she could be like Carly, it would be awesome.

Dante explains that when Morgan got out of the car, it went over the cliff. He says that they’re looking for Morgan in the water. Sonny wants to help. He takes his jacket off and goes down the hill. Dante tells Jason it wasn’t a vehicle malfunction or accident, it was a bomb in Julian’s car and Sonny put it there.

Ava asks if Julian is talking about a hit. Julian tells her about the car and says they need protection. Ava says she and Sonny have an understanding, and Julian says then at least he needs protection. Ava doesn’t think Sonny is that stupid. Julian tells her someone they know was driving the car. She says they don’t know any car thieves, do they? He tells her it was Morgan.

Elizabeth asks why Jake isn’t in bed and he says he heard them fighting about Franco. He asks why Sam doesn’t like him.

Ava says it’s not possible and Julian must be mistaken. Julian says Dante was at the scene and had confirmation. Ava says it doesn’t make any sense. She asks if they found his body, but Julian doesn’t think so, and says there’s no body to be found. Ava says Morgan can’t be dead. Julian says the bomb was meant to leave no doubt and incinerate whoever was in the car. He says Sonny killed his own son.

Dante tells Jason that Carrrlos killed Duke, Julian killed Carrrlos and almost killed Alexis, yet he’s walking around free. Sonny can’t look weak, because if you’re weak, you can’t protect your family. Jason doesn’t know what to say. Dante tells him don’t say anything, but wants him to understand what happened. Sonny tried to end the war with Julian and Morgan ended up a casualty.

Carly says she might not have it all, but she’s fought for what she has. She tells Nell that she’s meant for great things. Nell says all she ever wanted was to be a teacher and Carly tells her teachers change the world. Nell tells Carly to go home and she’ll finish up. Oh, I get it, she’s in love with the whole family.

An officer handcuffs Sonny to the car. Sonny begs to be released and Dante says okay. Sonny gets crabby with the officer. Dante tells him that they found something. Sonny asks if Morgan is okay, but Dante says they found remains enough for forensics to run a DNA test. Sonny says Morgan is a good swimmer, and Dante says the test is going to confirm what they already know – Morgan died in the explosion. Sonny looks over the cliff and screams Morgan’s name.

Jordan arrives and asks Dante what they know. He says everything indicates a bomb. She asks if someone was targeting his brother, but Dante says it was Julian’s car and Morgan stole it. Jordan is like ah-ha! Julian was the intended victim. Dante says Julian has a lot of enemies. Jordan asks where Sonny was, and Dante says at home.

At the same home, Carly calls Sonny, asking where he went. He’s with Jason right outside. Sonny says he wants to be alone for a while, and tells Jason to tell his family how much he loves them, and to protect them, because he couldn’t protect his son.

Ava looks sick and Julian asks if she’s okay. She says definitely not. She says she saw Morgan tonight. She wonders why he would steal Julian’s car. Julian says maybe it was a prank, but he doesn’t know what would be going through Morgan’s head, especially being drunk. He says Morgan had a natural chemical imbalance, and you don’t need to be a doctor to know not to mix psych drugs with alcohol. He says Sonny will probably find a way to blame him, and Ava flashes back to switching Morgan’s drugs. She says it was her fault.

Franco tells Jake that he hurt Sam. Jake says Franco is his friend and wouldn’t hurt anyone. Franco explains that they might be friends, but he and Sam won’t be. He says a long time ago, he wasn’t very nice. Jake asks why. Franco says at the time, he had something growing in his head that made him sick. Jake asks if it’s contagious and Franco tells him not to worry. Franco says he did bad things and he hurt Sam bad, because he told her the worst lie ever. Jake asks if he’s sorry and Franco says every minute of every day. He should have told them that, but figured it was useless because they were never going to forgive him. He says he tries to be a good guy now, because he wants everyone to know that he never wants to hurt anyone again. He just wants everyone to get along, because they’re not going anywhere. Sam watches and listens.

Jordan tells Dante she’s sorry and that Sonny isn’t the only one grieving tonight.

Jason stops to see Jake and wonders what Sam is doing there. Jake tells him that he smells and Jake says he needs a shower, but he’s glad to be there.

An officer gives Jordan something in a bag. It’s Morgan’s phone.

Sonny comes in, and Carly asks what happened. He says he was in the river and she needs to sit down. He says this is going to hurt. Again, she asks what happened. He says Morgan.

Julian asks how Morgan’s death could be Ava’s fault. She says she knew what was going on, and Julian says everyone did. He says the way Sonny set things up, it was either going to be him or Morgan, and he’s glad it wasn’t him. He leaves and Ava cries alone.

Jason tells Jake that it’s time for bed. He leaves with Sam. Franco asks if Jason just didn’t notice he was there. Elizabeth says something bad happened. Outside, Jason tells Sam he’ll tell her about it in the car, but he wants to go home and be with their son.

Ava drinks a martini and flashes back to Morgan drinking at the bar and her messing with his meds. She flashes back even further to their affair when he was practically in diapers. She gets raccoon eyes and sobs on the floor, asking what she’s done.

Carly asks if Morgan is okay. Sonny says he’s sorry and Carly says no. She says if something happened to her baby, she would know. She insists he’s okay. She’s going to call and he’s going to answer. Sonny says he’s dead. We see Carly argue with him through the window and they embrace as the phone rings.

Tomorrow, Carly says it’s just a dream, Kiki wants to end things with Morgan (that should be easy), and Sonny asks Jason if he thinks Sonny is the reason Morgan is dead.

If Loving You is Wrong

Alex hits a tree, but her crash isn’t nearly as bad as the one on GH. Although she is out in the middle of nowhere. She can’t find her phone and flames start shooting out of the cars hood. She tells it, “No, no, no, no, no, no,” but it’s not listening.

The cops spend more time at Randal’s house than any crime scene ever. Kelly calls Steve over. Marcie tells him that Brad had mud on his shoes. She says it’s nothing, but Steve says the police will be the judge of that. They spend time discussing Brad’s shoes. Marcie tells Steve about where Brad said he was, but Steve says the place closes earlier than Brad said he was there.

Steve leaves and Esperanza takes his place. She asks Marcie if she’s okay. Marcie says fine and runs inside. Esperanza has something to talk to Kelly about. Steve sees Eddie sitting in a patrol car and says he told Eddie to get to wherever Brad was before forensics gets there. Eddie has a bunch of why questions, but Steve says he’s too close to the people there and tells him to secure the other scene. I honestly don’t think Eddie would be a welcome employee anywhere, much less a police force.

Eddie stops one of the officers who says they have a suspect. Eddie pumps him for information saying their on the same team but the officer laughs, saying he’s heard about Eddie’s team. He tells Eddie that they have an eye witness and Brad is the suspect. Eddie is still annoyed that he actually has to work. Esperanza asks what he’s doing there. He says he’s an officer and she says he’s a disgrace. She asks what he and Brad did. Eddie says he has no idea what she’s talking about. She says Brad didn’t work alone. She tells him that Louise said Brad kidnapped Randal and the baby. Eddie says Brad is his boy. Esperanza says he could go to jail and what about Brad’s kids? She says if something happens to the baby and he has something to do with it… She doesn’t finish, but tells him that she hates him. The only one who doesn’t hate Eddie is Eddie.

No surprise, Eddie calls Brad. Brad says it’s late. Eddie says not too late for Brad, and tells him to get out of there. He tells Brad to meet him at a certain corner. Brad doesn’t understand what’s going on, and Eddie says the cops are coming to arrest him. Eddie asks where Randal and the baby are, but Brad doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Eddie spells it out for him and tells him that he should have conferred with Eddie first. Brad asks if Eddie is high. He says Alex and Marcie have been blowing up his phone, and Marcie hit him in the head with a bottle. All of a sudden, the light bulb comes on and he tells Eddie he didn’t do anything. Eddie tells him that’s very believable and to keep it. He asks where the bodies are and Brad says he really doesn’t know anything and he’s not meeting him. Brad hangs up. Do we still say “hanging up” today? Or is it clicking off?

Brad calls Marcie. Kelly and Esperanza tell her not to answer. Marcie feels sick and runs to the bathroom. Don’t tell me she’s pregnant. Esperanza says this is a nightmare. She notices 39 missed phone calls from Travis on Kelly’s phone. Kelly says he got aggressive with her. He was mad because she slept with him and kicked him out. She says he won’t stop calling and leaving crazy messages, and he’s been circling the house. She plays some of the messages for Esperanza. Yep, they’re crazy. Esperanza says it’s scary, and she didn’t see this coming from Travis. Kelly says neither did she. They agree he sounds possessed. Kelly thinks he’ll calm down.

Esperanza brings up Travis being engaged to someone else. She suggests Kelly call the authorities. She says she’s had enough crazy ass men in her life to know, but Kelly insists it will blow over. Esperanza makes her promise to call the police if it doesn’t. Kelly reminds Esperanza that she wanted to talk to her about something, but Esperanza says they’ll talk about it later.

Joey’s probabtion officer, Hardy, asks Natalie how Joey is doing. Natalie says they don’t know yet and introduces him to Lushion. Lushion takes him aside and asks if it’s necessary that he be there. Hardy says witnesses said Joey had a gun and that’s a probation violation. Lushion says they don’t know if he’s going to make it through the night. Hardy is more like heartless and says he’ll just talk to Natalie, but Lushion says if he’s going to talk, he talks to Lushion. He gives Hardy his card. Hardy tells Natalie he hopes Joey gets better and leaves.

Natalie asks if Hardy wanted to take Joey to jail. Lushion tells her worry about Joey right now. Natalie says Hardy flirts with her all the time and questions if he was really there for Joey. She wonders about the gun, and Lushion says it was registered to Mr. Kim. Quan was going to rob Faun. Natalie is surprised her father let her make the deposits, and wonders how she’s doing. Natalie says she’d told Joey to always comply with cops and instead of protesting the cops, they should protest the ignorant asses who walk among them.

Ben tries to do some actual work and Julius calls. He wonders how Julius got the number and asks what Julius wants. Julius says Ben hasn’t called, and Ben says he’s been busy. Julius asks if he’s too busy for pure Colombian. Ben says he’s not sure if he should be talking to him. Julius says Ben already knows the answer. Ben says he’s intrigued, but Eddie is all over him. Julius says like a boyfriend? and Ben is like, hell no, but Eddie is out of control, freaking out when Ben isn’t at his beck and call. Julius says like a jealous boyfriend and what’s up with Ben? but Ben says he has a girlfriend. Julius asks if Ben wants to change his life and says he’s the man to do it. He says he doesn’t beg, he just moves on and can find someone else. Ben says he can do this. Julius says he wants Ben and Ben is like, what do you mean? and Julius says he wants him on his team. He doesn’t want to have to call Ben again.

Eddie looms over Ben who says it’s his girlfriend on the phone. He calls Julius “honey” and Julius says this is some weird stuff. You’re tellin’ me. Eddie tells him get off the phone and get him some coffee from the coffee shop – the low fat vanilla latte he likes. He says pick up his dry cleaning too, and no whipped cream. When he’s not pissing me off, Eddie cracks me up.

Kelly gets a call from her ex’s mother, Diane. She says if Kelly doesn’t want to talk to her son, she needs to tell him. She says it’s Kelly’s ass that should be in jail. Her son took the fall so Kelly could raise their nappy headed kid. Kelly is like, whoa there, and Diane tells Kelly she’d better talk to her son or she’s going to the police.

Alex tries to flag down more cars than should be on this road. A truck slows down. She asks for help. The driver, who looks like one of the Duck Dynasty guys, tells her to hop in. He’s not going as far as she is, but she asks him to take her as far as he can. He tells her she shouldn’t be out on the road like this. She tells him that she wrecked her car, and he asks if she’s all right. She says she will be, and he asks if she called the law. She says her phone is in the car and he asks if she wants to use his. She says the car is totaled. He introduces himself as Carl and says she’s pretty. Not surprisingly, this makes her nervous, but he tells her that he wouldn’t want his daughter out at night, and talks about how many lowlifes live around there. He wonders who she knows in town and she says she grew up there. He wishes he could take her all the way, but can’t be late with his delivery. He asks if she likes Christian music and puts on the radio.

Marcie cries in the bathroom. Esperanza asks her to come out and talk. Kelly tells Esperanza that Marcie isn’t all right. Esperanza says the worst part of the whole thing is that she’s still in love with Randal. Agreed. She says they can’t get away from it, no matter how hard they try, and I guess she’s referring to herself with Eddie as well. Kelly wants to know what Esperanza had to say. She says Joey got shot and they don’t know if he’s going to be okay. Kelly wonders what’s happening tonight. Esperanza says she doesn’t want to imagine being in Natalie’s position. Kelly wants to call her, but Esperanza says give her a moment. Esperanza asks Marcie to come out again, but she repeats that she’s fine.

Kelly says think about how Alex feels and that Brad has taken it too far this time. Esperanza asks if they’re sure. Kelly reminds her of Brad being stupid at the hospital, but Esperanza thinks something isn’t right. She doesn’t believe Brad would kidnap anyone.

Brad calls Marcie. She asks why he’s calling her. He says Eddie called asking if he’d kidnapped Randal and the baby. He says he’d never do that; it would be insane. He’s put two and two together about her hitting him and says he was trying to kiss her, not attack her. She says explain the mud on his shoes and why it was red. He says there was new construction and he walked across the pavilion. She doesn’t believe him. He says she knows he wouldn’t do anything like that, but she says not really. He can’t think of anything he can do to make he believe otherwise. She says the baby is innocent in all of this. Brad says he believes Marcie thinks he did it. The police knock on Brad’s door. He asks Marcie not to hang up, but she does.

The police ask to come in. Ha-ha! It’s Steve because no one else really works. He tells the officers to search the place and Brad asks if they have a warrant. Steve tells him they’ve been given permission by his roommate. He arrests Brad and suggests Brad tell them everything. Oh sure, go right ahead, without a lawyer.

Next time, Ben gets hospital duty, Eddie threatens Lushion and attacks Ben, and Julius wants Ben on his team. Are we ever going to see Randal again? Are they recasting him?? Did contract negotiations not go well???

Below Deck

New deckhand Kyle has dislocated his shoulder. Lauren resets it. The pool is set up and the guests get in the water. We suddenly see Barry, the first officer, who must be hiding all of the time. Somehow things get out of control, and a couple of guests get thrown off of a water toy, nearly colliding with the boat pulling them. They’re fine. And probably too drunk to care. The crew is a little shaky though.

Captain Lee tries to call just about everyone and no one is answering their radios. He asks if anyone is on service. He tells Sierra to make a batch of painkillers immediately. She thinks he means ibuprofen, but he means the drink. He ends up having to help her.

The captain wants to get into calmer waters and hunts for Kelley. He’s getting more annoyed about no one responding. He finds Kelley’s radio unattended. Kelley claims he was in the bathroom, but Captain Lee says he should bring it with him. Ben jokes to Kate that the captain is worried about his creme brulee, so he’s moving the yacht. Kate wonders what happened while she was on break, and Ben tells her nothing much, just a couple of the guests almost dying. Captain Lee isn’t thrilled with the deckhands not being at the top of their game and looking like Larry, Moe and Curly.

Kate says the guests are drinking at a rate that impresses and scares her. Ben thinks Kate is texting Ro too much, and should be dealing with the job at hand. I don’t know if he’s making a joke or not. The guests are having a white party this evening, and Kate is psyched. She’s turning it into a White Rabbit party. Kelley wonders how long it will take for Kyle to realize that Sierra is nuts.

Kate tells Ben she doesn’t know if the guests will notice or care what time dinner is. Ben thinks it would be interesting if he took an Ambien before dinner. Lauren tells Sierra that Kyle is obsessed with her, and Sierra says she’s kind of into his ruggedness. Captain Lee thinks Kelley should know what he expects and be doing better and bigger things at this point.

The stews make up cute little Alice in Wonderland themed trays with “drink me” and “eat me” stuff on them to lead the guests to dinner. Kate and Ben get into an argument. He says he doesn’t have the luxuries she does and needs to know when dinner is early on. Kate says in Ben’s world he tells the guests when to eat, but she prefers the guests enjoy their very expensive vacation. The stews wear bunny ears and fluffy tails, but it’s White Rabbity, not Playboy.

As usual, dinner is amazing and the creme brulee comes out fine, the guests thinking it’s the best thing ever. Ben checks out Kate’s phone and tells Lauren that he doesn’t know about this Ro character.

Kate wonders when the guests are finally going to pass out, and tells Emily if they ask for more Irish coffee to give them decaf. Kate talks to Ro, telling her that the guests are wasted and in the Jacuzzi. Ro wanted to come visit, but says she won’t be able to make it. The guests barely get themselves to their rooms.

Captain Lee notices the yacht windows are filthy. He’s going to chew on somebody’s ass, and Kelley is the one. He says if Kelley doesn’t start performing the way he should, he’ll have to babysit him the whole season. He asks Kelley why no one is dealing with the windows. Kelley says it’s on the inside and that’s for interior to handle. The Captain isn’t having it and Kelley feels like he gets picked on for Kate’s responsibilities. The captain says Kelley has been wallowing in self-pity for two days. He shows Kelley that it’s not all on the inside and Kelley says okay, he’ll deal with it. In his interview, Kelley says the captain is terrified of Kate, but I find that doubtful. Kelley gets the deckhands together and the windows are cleaned.

Miraculously, the guests are up. OMG THE BREAKFAST! The Captain tells Kelley he has more responsibility now and he wants Kelley to see what he sees. Lauren is selected to bring the anchor up by herself. As with those before her, the captain doesn’t understand her hand signals. The captain says it’s just a learning experience, but Lauren calls it bullshit. She complains to Kelley that she has no experience. She complains that he didn’t have her back, but Kelley says he did everything he could and he’s in the hot seat. He tells her that he’ll always have her back.

It’s time to dock. The guests squeeze in a final cocktail and Captain Lee gets a fat envelope. The captain thanks the crew and says the radios are still a pet peeve and everyone better get it together with that. The tip is $15,000, or $1,350 each. Kate says it was like a really good one-night stand. Captain Lee says he has good news bad news. The bad news is that the hated slide has arrived, but the good news is that the crew has a resort to themselves the next day, thanks to a friend of the captain’s. He asks them to stay on the boat tonight, but they can crawl into a bottle of rum tomorrow if hey want.

The crew gets ready to go to ashore to Scrub Island, and here comes Ro. Nico is disappointed that she’s so good looking. Kate is super surprised. She says she’s happy, but also freaking out. Ben is fascinated watching them kiss. He says Ro knows that he and Kate have a history and it’s making him nervous. Kate gives Ro a tour of the boat and they make out. She introduces Ro to the others. Ben says it looks like Ro just crawled out of a fallout shelter in Moscow because she’s dark on dark on dark. Everyone takes a boat to the mainland.

Ben says it’s funny to finally place a face to the laugh he hears every night on Kate’s phone. The crew hangs around the pool and drinks. Ben blatantly stares at Kate and Ro kissing. Kelley flirts with Emily, but she finds him too touchy feely. In his interview, Kelley says it’s all small signals and he’s going to sweep Emily off he feet before she knows what hit her. Um…you might be the one in for a surprise, Kelley.

Kyle and Sierra argue over the loaves and the fishes. Sierra thinks that Jesus turned loaves into fishes, and Kyle has to correct her. Kyle tells Sierra she’s stunning and Sierra says he’s cool. In his interview, Kelley thinks Sierra is a lunatic. Kate says Ro is a retired professional athlete, but still has the same commitment to physical endurance and excellence.

Next time, it’s Valentine’s Day, Kelley makes Emily feel awkward (it’s not the first time he’s done that to a woman), and Captain Lee wants Kelley to be proactive.

October 10, 2016 – A Fiery Crash on GH & an Overly Heated Argument on the OC

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Morgan and Jason pull over. Jason sounds like somebody’s dad, asking if Morgan can get out of the car or does he have to come over there. Morgan gets out and KABOOM! Jason dashes into the flames.

Molly asks TJ if he got in a fight. He tells her it was Morgan.

Dillon looks at the pictures of the Nurses Ball and flashes back to kissing Kiki two minutes ago.

Kiki calls Morgan. She asks him to call and tell her where he is. She has to talk to him about something important.

Sonny tells Carly that for the first time in a long time, he thinks everything is going to be okay. Carly says she’s not used to him being an optimist and he asks if he’s that much of a downer. Frankly, yes. She says there will be challenging times ahead with Morgan, because we call everything that’s a real pita “challenging” now. He says he knows that’s not all she’s worried about, and Carly says she doesn’t want him seeking his own kind of justice. He says it’s all going to work out.

Julian reams out his crony, Pete, and asks if he saw who stole the car. Julian says the alarm would have gone off. Unless Pete left the keys in the car. D’oh! He tells Julian how he just stepped away to have a smoke. Speaking of which, where did he step away to? China?

Tracy meets with Hayden and Finn. Since Finn is still alive, she figures it’s not all bad news. He tells her that they overheard something about the hospital. Tracy says they hope to open in another month, but Finn says the hospital seems to be for sale.

TJ tells Molly what happened with Morgan. She thinks they should call the police, but TJ says Jason is handling it and Morgan will listen to him before he’ll listen to the cops. They go inside and see Julian. TJ suggests they leave, but Molly says she’s not being chased out by an abusive freak. Dante enters and Julian says it’s about time he showed up. Julian tells him that his car was stolen not 10 feet away from the place.

Sonny gets all esoteric. He says fate finds you unexpectedly sometimes. Carly asks if he’s saying he’s not going after Julian. He says he went to church and ran into Griff. Sonny gave as good as he got, but realized he had to find peace in his heart, in the world, and with Carly. Carly says she can hear what he’s not saying, and tells him not to say anything else. She’s grateful because she knows how hard it was for him, but he’s made her happy.

Jason grabs his phone and calls 911, telling them about the accident. He says he thinks the driver is trapped inside the flaming car.

Carly tells Sonny he’s right and he says he’s always right. Ha-ha! She says everything is going to be okay, with them and their family. He says he knows it because he has faith. They kiss and start to leave the bar. Nell sees them and says she has good news. She got four tickets for Shawn Mendes for Josslyn, and they’re VIP seating.

Tracy says she’d know if the hospital was for sale. Finn says the information came from a guy on the board named Fred Gray. Hayden tells Tracy how they heard him and Lucy discussing it. They tell her about the intention to move the hospital to another building and use the present property for condos. Tracy says her family has poured their heart and soul into the hospital. Finn says the guy was looking at it for an associate, but didn’t say who. I’m thinking Valentin, who has to step back into the picture eventually.

Dante asks Julian if he had an anti-theft device and Pete admits to leaving the keys in the car. Julian says start with Sonny, who’s been harassing him. Dante says he’ll keep it in mind, but he’ll start with asking if anyone at the bar saw anything. He approaches Molly and TJ. TJ says he thinks he knows who took the car – Morgan.

Dillon rehashes his and Kiki’s conversation in his mind, and thinks about how she said she never got over him. He says they’re finally getting their chance.

Kiki sees Carly and says she can’t find Morgan. Carly says she assumed Morgan was with her, but Kiki says she hasn’t seen him since the morning, but she knows he was upset about being expelled. Sonny tells Kiki how much Morgan appreciates her being in his corner, and that he and Carly appreciate her too. No surprise, Kiki looks sick, and Carly asks her if everything is okay

An emergency team comes, and Jason says he can’t get to the driver because the car is half in the water. Morgan is either in the car or in the river.

Tracy shows up at Crimson, figuring she’d find Dillon there trying to forget his father. He says it’s semi-working, but he’s fine. In the middle of the nightmare, something happened that he’s wanted to happen for a long time. He tells her that Kiki makes him happy and they’ve decided to be together.

Kiki tells Carly that she and Morgan had a misunderstanding and she wanted to talk it out. Sonny is concerned about him not calling either one of them, but they agree that Morgan always forgets to charge his phone.

Nell tells Kiki she saw Morgan at The Floating Rib and he was in bad shape.

Julian tells Pete that Molly is probably giving Dante an earful about how the thief should get a medal. He still believes Sonny is behind it. Pete says maybe they’re lucky that he just took the car and not Julian’s life.

Firefighters pull Jason away from the accident.

Dante calls in the information that TJ and Molly gave him. Molly says Morgan was drunk and she’s really worried. Dante says alcohol isn’t the best mix with Morgan’s medication. Molly frets and Dante’s phone rings. It’s Jason. Jason gives him the location of the accident and tells him to get there quickly – it’s about Morgan.

Hayden asks what Finn is going to do if he can’t go back to work. Finn says now that he has the equipment he needs, he can finish his research. He tells her that he’s made a breakthrough. She asks how much of one, and he says he likes his chances. She says they should celebrate, but he tells her to slow down. She tells him to admit he’s feeling happy.

Nell says Morgan seemed like he was in a bad mood. Kiki insists on her being more specific. Nell flashes back on their conversation. She tells Kiki that Morgan seemed to think that the two of them were breaking up. Kiki asks if Morgan mentioned Dillon. Nell says she’s not sure. Kiki tells Nell that Morgan overheard her leaving a message for Dillon and lost it, even though she told him it was nothing to worry about. Nell says she can listen if Kiki wants to talk, but Kiki says she needs to talk to Morgan. It will just make things worse if she talks to someone else first. When she leaves, Nell says it’s a lot harder on Morgan and calls Kiki a princess. I guess they haven’t decided quite what to do with Nell, since she was all up in Michael’s business like yesterday.

Sonny and Carly kick back with some wine. He apologizes for making her worry about what he was going to do regarding Julian. She says she was just scared. She kept thinking about their wedding day, and he asks which one. Sonny is a real comedian today. Carly says she’d been waiting for him, and Jason came in, telling her Sonny had been shot. Sonny says all he could think about was seeing her face one last time. He let his hatred blind him to what was important – his family and his beautiful wife. While they’re talking, this music is on in the background that sounds like 60s easy listening – like The Girl from Ipanema.

Dante gets to the accident scene. He asks where Morgan and the car are. Jason says he was here. and then he wasn’t, which sounds like a line from a Dr. Seuss book.

Sonny asks Carly what her favorite part of being married to him is. She asks what he thinks. He suggests his dimples or eyes, and she says that’s partly it. They get busy and it becomes a song part. I run out for a smoke and someone steals my car. Just kidding.

Julian consults his GPS, but there’s no signal from the car. Pete suggests the guy was a pro and disabled it, and Julian says he must have been a pro, since he stole a car with keys in it. Julian says he’ll have to deal with it himself, since the PCPD is no help. He fires Pete. Just when I’ve learned his name. Cronies – easy come, easy go. Kiki runs up and asks if Julian has seen Morgan. He tells her that he’d seen her over-medicated boyfriend drinking in the bar earlier, and to do herself a favor and dump him

Dillon tells Tracy that because Kiki has Ava for a mother, she gets what he’s going through. Tracy asks if Kiki isn’t taken, but he says she’s breaking up with Morgan. Tracy thinks it’s asking for trouble. Dillon says he hopes Tracy will appreciate Kiki as much as he does one day. She says if Kiki makes him happy, she’ll welcome her with open arms. She says clearly she’s not a good judge of character, and because of Paul the hospital might close permanently.

Hayden says she sees Tracy successfully getting GH back, and Finn being successful with his work and getting his life back. Finn says he can’t look that far ahead. His phone reminder sounds for his shot, and she asks what he’s going to do when his illness doesn’t give him an excuse to be distant. He says he’ll be right back and asks her to wait there.

Nell brings a glass of champagne to Hayden. There’s a card along with it from an Even Lloyd.

Carly tells Sonny she’s the happiest woman on the planet and she loves him. Her phone rings and he tells her to leave it, but she picks it up. She says a sprinkler went off in a room at the hotel while the guests were in bed. Sonny says they were hot, but not as hot as he and Carly just were. Sonny is on a roll. What’s next? Stand up?

Jason tells Dante about how Morgan was talking about Kiki and he got him to pull over. He says when Morgan opened the car door, the car exploded. When Jason got out, he saw the car had gone over a cliff. Dante wonders if Morgan went with it. Jason said he couldn’t get close enough to see for sure. Dante looks over the cliff and calls to Morgan, but not very loudly.

Finn returns to the table. He notices the champagne and Hayden says a man at the bar sent it along with this, and gives him the card. She says he’s the president of an investment firm. Finn asks if she’s going to respond, and she says she might give him a call. Not for a job, a date. That’s right, Finn. Hayden wants action, not just talk.

Dillon can’t believe someone wants to turn GH into condos, but Tracy says not if she has anything to say about it. Dillon says he feels like he’s drowning whenever he thinks about Paul too long or too hard. He says GH might be closing for good because of Paul’s actions, and wonders if it’s the final straw.

Kiki leaves another message for Morgan, saying she needs to talk to him in person. She says she knows she hurt him, but doesn’t know how to get him to reach out to her. She apologizes and says they need to talk.

TJ is upset that he didn’t prevent Morgan from taking the car. Molly says Morgan was acting on impulse. She asks why it had to be Julian’s car and says he’ll never let it go until he completely ruins Morgan’s life.

Julian sees Dante. He looks over the cliff and sees his car. He asks what happened. Dante says he doesn’t have all the details, but the witness says it exploded.

Carly calls home and asks if Sonny heard from Morgan. He says it will take time, but he’ll keep her posted. He’s going to wait up for her. Jason walks in looking like a mess, and Sonny asks what the hell happened. Jason says it’s Morgan.

Tomorrow, Sam tells Franco to stay away, Julian tells Ava they’re in trouble, and Jason tells Sonny about the accident.

The Real Housewives of the OC

It’s time to head to Dublin and the ladies are packing. Since becoming pregnant, Meghan wants to dive deeper into her heritage. Kelly is at a crossroads in her marriage, and says the trip is coming at a good time. She talks to Michael about controlling his alcohol intake. He got pretty hammered at Heather’s party.

Briana sees a pair of men’s shoes in Vicki’s bedroom. Vicki says Steve just came over for coffee and Briana wonders what kind of coffee dates Vicki is having.

Tamra has been instructed not to drink at all because of her upcoming competition. She says the more sober she is, the more crazy she realizes the rest of the women are.

Everyone meets at the airport. After a flight that takes absolutely no time, we’re in Ireland. The ladies are met by their driver, Sean. Boy, is he going to be sorry he signed up for this job. Everything is rainy and green. On the way to the hotel, Heather tries to teach everyone words and phrases they might need and it’s a lost cause. The hotel is impressive, and they’re greeted with a signature Black Velvet cocktail of champagne and Guinness. Vicki is also presented with some flowers from Steve. The card says, “I love you,” and the girls get all giggly. Tamra wants to know where the gym is and Shannon wants to know where the bar is. The rooms are beautiful, filled with antiques and lovely details. No surprise, the first stop is the bar. Meghan has plans to visit with a genealogist the next day. Shannon wants to see a leprechaun. Probably Dr. Moon told her they’re real. Maybe he told her to steal one’s hat for a treatment.

Meghan plans a pub crawl for the girls while she does her genealogy thing. Heather reminds Tamra that she promised one fun day. Tamra asks what a pub crawl is, saying she doesn’t like beer, and I’m wondering why such an expert at drinking doesn’t find it self-explanatory. Shannon tries an Irish accent and it comes out sounding like she’s either Spanish or from Brooklyn. Meghan joins them at the first bar (no alcohol of course). Shannon reveals a green glitter top that no one should ever wear. Meghan leaves and they couldn’t care less. I’m not sure they even notice. Vicki encourages Tamra to drink because a drunk Tamra is a fun Tamra. Sometimes. In her interview, Tamra says it’s hard not to be on the fun bus while Vicki is driving.

Shots happen. Vicki whoohoos. It’s on to the next pub.

Meghan has the genealogist over for tea. There are a bunch of dishes with little sandwiches and such, and I wish I could reach into the TV and take one. Dude tells Meghan she’s related to the majority of the town. Throw a rock, hit one of Meghan’s relatives. He goes over her family tree with him. Her great grandfather a million times removed was a rebel who was executed. Good times…

Shannon yells for alcohol and Vicki wants another shot of whatever. Shannon complains about Kelly doing some kind of juvenile “nose flick” joke, that thing The Three Stooges do. Tamra is glad everyone is in a good place. Vicki asks for instruction on pouring a pint and gets behind the bar, flirting with the bartender. Wow, from the mini preview before the commercial, this is going to take a downturn quickly.

Shannon is pretty loud and it sounds like she just made a pass at Kelly. Vicki complains to Tamra about Kelly doing that nose flick thing. Tamra tries to make it a bigger deal than it is, and Kelly tells her to keep walking. Tamra is like, are you talkin’ to me? and tells Kelly she takes things to another level. In her interview, Heather says Kelly has an amazing ability to take a good time and knock it on its ass. Kelly says it was only a joke. She was just kidding with Vicki, but Tamra says Vicki doesn’t like it. Kelly says she can’t believe a child’s joke is freaking everyone out. Tamra is frustrated with defending Kelly. Kelly says she’s sorry they’re sensitive and she won’t do it again. Obviously, a non-apology apology, and it doesn’t fly. Kelly tells Heather that usually people who are of Jewish descent get a joke, and they’re sarcastic and funny. Heather points out that she’s being racist, and Kelly says she’s Mexican. In her interview, Vicki says she’s trying to stay neutral, having just gotten back in good graces with everyone, and I can’t say as I blame her. Kelly says Tamra repeats what everyone says. Truth! but she should have known that by now. Tamra says she didn’t even tell Heather about how Kelly looked into how much Heather owes on her property. Kelly says Tamra is out of her mind and a liar. There goes Tamra’s finger. In her interview, Vicki says Tamra should just let it go. Tamra talks some more about Kelly looking into Heather’s financial situation and Kelly says, are you kidding me? over and over. Kelly says a realtor friend mentioned something to her about it, but it’s not like she personally dug around for the information. Other patrons are starting to look at them and they leave. Kelly calls Tamra an f-ing liar all he way down the street and tells Shannon no wonder Tamra’s daughter won’t talk to her. Uh-oh.

Heather steers everyone toward a store for retail therapy. Shannon can’t repeat what Kelly said fast enough and Tamra goes after Kelly. We only hear them since they’re in the store, but Tamra goes ballistic and Kelly accuses Tamra of hitting her. Shannon finds Tamra weeping in the car and says she’s sorry she said anything. Yeah, sure. Should have thought about that before. Tamra is hyperventilating, and Shannon tells her to breathe slower. I start to question whether any of these women could function in the real world.

Shannon tells Tamra she’s an amazing mom and Kelly is a moron. Tamra says Kelly knows how painful the subject of her daughter is and how dare she? Um, she’s drunk and you kept prodding her? Shannon tells Tamra that she said it herself, Kelly wants to hurt people because she’s miserable. Tamra calls Kelly as evil as Satan. Oh for Pete’s sake.

Kelly asks Shannon what her intent was. She says if she’d wanted to hurt Tamra, she would have said it to her face. Shannon tells her to back off. In her interview, Vicki says she feels sorry for both of them. Heather says she’s never been asked to leave a store in her life, and because of the altercation, they were asked to leave. Ha-ha! on Fancy Pants, but I’d be pissed too. And no, I’ve never been asked to leave a store either. Kelly says Tamra hit her, but Heather says she doesn’t care; Kelly shouldn’t have said what she did. Wow. Fancy Pants endorsing corporal punishment. Heather says she was in the bathroom and they (I assume security) banged on the stall, asking for the American woman and requesting that they leave. Tamra says Kelly crossed the line. Kelly says she said something in private because she was angry that Tamra lied. In her interview, Kelly says she feels like she’s with the mean girls in grade school. I think Kelly has a drinking problem, but these women need to put things in perspective.

They go back to the hotel. Vicki wonders if they’re a bunch of hillbillies, no offense to the hillbillies. Ha-ha! She and Kelly go to their rooms. Tamra, Shannon and Heather sit down for tea. Shannon says she was given the menu already open to where the vodka is.

Kelly tells Meghan that Tamra lied about her looking into Heather’s business. She repeats to Meghan what she said to Shannon. In her interview, Meghan says some things you just leave alone, and she can’t believe Kelly went there. Kelly tells Meghan what happened at the store.

Tamra says she feels horrible because she’s been supportive of Kelly and made excuses for her. In her interview, Tamra says she saw Kelly as damaged, but realizes that no amount of compassion she has for her is going to change anything. Let me just put in my Christian 2¢ here. Tamra was all fine with her compassion as long as Kelly was focused on someone else. If she’s serious about her faith, she needs to back up what she’s been saying, and not have a double-standard. I’m not faulting her – I’m not perfect in this area, but I’m not on TV either, so I’m just sayin’.

Kelly tells Meghan that she said it out of anger. Meghan says if Tamra lied, that’s messed up, but that doesn’t make what Kelly said right. Meghan says there’s a lot of talking among the women and she should get that by now. What I said. Kelly adds that altough she’d been supportive of Vicki, Vicki didn’t speak up for her either. She says she’s tired of defending herself and doesn’t want to go to dinner with the rest of them. Meghan says she’s sorry that this happened. Kelly claims she’s never met girls like this. Meghan tries to get her to relent about dinner, but it ‘s a no. Well that pub crawl was a bust.

In the car, Tamra says Kelly did it to herself. Meghan tells the group about what Kelly said and how she responded. She hopes they can all work it out. Back at the hotel, Kelly calls Michael, telling him the women ganged up on her. Michael tells her to stay calm and get in a good place. Kelly finds it ironic that she wanted to get away from him, and now he’s the only one who has her back. Yeah, since he also has an alcohol problem, why shouldn’t he be encouraging of her drunken rants? She tells him she doesn’t want to be around them because they’re mean.

The girls go to a restaurant and Meghan tells them about what the genealogist told her and how she’s related to everyone in town. She’s excited to be learning about her heritage in the place her ancestors are from. Tamra and Heather refuse to eat potatoes. This is Ireland, people!

Some musicians start to play. Vicki dances with a short guy. Tamra says grandma’s a tramp. The other women find this hysterical and Vicki jokes that she just got pregnant. A dude does some Riverdancing on the bar. Vicki and Shannon both dance and Meghan says it’s an Irish miracle that the two of them are having fun together. I’m sure it won’t last long

Next time, Meghan tries to find her people, Vicki almost steps in a cow-pie, Shannon forces tequila on Kelly (!), and Kelly feels ambushed.

October 9, 2016 – A Wicked Stepmother in Storybrooke Ain’t Got Nuthin’ on Kim D in New Jersey

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Who’d have thought this show was going to be a hit? Certainly not me, especially since I like it. I figured it would last about 5 minutes.

Regina, Snow and David go to the hospital. David asks if Regina is sure. A nurse gives her something on a tray. It’s a lasagna. They enter a room that’s more like a cell. Hyde is there having just polished off a feast. Regina asks what the Evil Queen wanted and he says the same thing she does – information. Since he’s full now, his price has gone up. I guess the lasagna isn’t going to cut it. He tells Regina it’s hard to stay a step ahead of herself.

Henry goes to Granny’s and meets Emma and Hook. He’s had the Untold Story people write down who they were traveling with to help figure out their stories. Ashley wants to see Henry’s list to find out who has children and might need her day care services. Hook amuses Ashley’s daughter while she goes through the names. Emma watches him from across the restaurant. Ashley asks Hook if there’s a chance of a fairy tale ending and he says not yet. She says if she can get a happy ending, anyone can.

Back in the day, Ashley/Ella is sweeping a walkway. Her wicked stepmother complains about her father not having left enough money for good help, only her. The prince’s footman, Jacob, comes with an invitation to the royal ball. It’s obvious the stepmother and her daughters are snobs, as they make fun of Jacob being lower class.

Ella asks if she might go to the ball. The stepsisters wonder what she would wear. Ella says she does have a dress. She opens a trunk and brings out a ballgown of her mother’s. One of the stepsisters promptly throws it into the furnace. Ella pulls it out and the stepsisters talk about Ella wearing cinders and come up with the name Cinderella. Because they’re creative geniuses. The stepmother says they have a ball to attend and they leave. Ella cries.

A tiny mouse in a tiny sweater gives her a key. Ella says she remembers stories about magic keys that – omg, he’s wearing a tiny hat too! – her mother told her could unlock stories. She throws the key in a box and says there’s no such thing as magic.

Dwarf Grumpy wants to form a union. Actually, I’m making that up because there was a distraction, but he’s leaving Archie’s office grumbling about work. Emma comes in next. She says she’s not a jealous person, but seeing Ella all happy with her family makes her think of how her own happiness is going to disappear. She says her magic is failing. Archie asks if that’s a reason to stop striving for what she wants. He could get hit by a bus, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t walk out the door. She tells him that Hook wants to move in together and she’s on the fence. They’ve fought for everyone else’s happy endings and she won’t have hers. Archie says maybe it’s not about the ending, but how you live.

Ella’s husband tells Emma his rifle is missing. He thinks Ella is going to kill her wicked stepsister. Emma says they’ll have to find her the same way she’s been found before, and conjures up a Keds.

Jekyll tries to recreate the syrum that split Regina and the Evil Queen. He’s got a makeshift lab going on near the crash in the forest. Snow suggests Regina try thinking like her sister. Regina says when you want to tear families apart you look for the cracks that are already there. She needs to talk to Zelena.

Snow tells David she’d like to be normal some day. She asks why a princess can’t be a teacher and says she’d like to go back to teaching like she did as Mary Margaret. David thinks that’s noble and kisses her. She looks at Jekyll’s equipment and comes up with an idea.

Henry and Hook are sword fighting with sticks. Emma comes by with the shoe and says it will take them to Ella.

Ella tells her mouse turned escort that whatever Rumpelstiltskin wanted, it’s worth it. She enters the ball in a beautiful gown, saying she owes everything to him. She tells the footman to have fun and then literally runs into Snow White. Ella apologizes profusely, and Snow tells her she’s not an ordinary princess, so don’t worry about it. She doesn’t think Ella is an ordinary princess either, and Ella says she’s just a girl playing dress-up for a night. Snow points out that a prince is checking her out. Ella wonders if he’s charming, but Snow says that name’s taken.

Ella approaches the prince and they dance. He asks her name, but she wants to remain a mystery. He calls her the girl with the glass slippers. Because he’s also a creative genius. He tells her that she’s not from this world. He has something to attend to, but tells her don’t go anywhere. Very pretty scene with the dancing and the gowns.

Ella sees the prince give her stepsister, Clorinda, a rose. Ella’s stepmother suddenly appears behind her and says they’re laughing at her. Ella says the prince danced with her, but her stepmother says he made her into a joke and everyone knew it except her. Ella runs out leaving a you-know-what.

David walks into Gold’s shop and asks him where he got the coin. He wants to know if his father’s death was an accident, and he wants to cut right to a deal. Gold says he likes candor almost as much as a deal. He looks up the coin’s records and says the more desperate the man, the higher the price. He asks how badly David wants to deal.

The mouse bugs Ella, poking at the box where the key is. Ella opens a door with the key and magic stuff is happening on the other side of it. She’s about to go through, and Clorinda runs in and stops her. She tells Ella that the prince loves her and he’s looking for her. Ella thinks Clorinda is making fun of her because she saw the prince give Clorinda a rose. Clorinda says she’s getting married, but not to the prince, to his footman Jacob – the prince had been giving her a message. Ella points out that Clorinda was mean to Jacob, but she says she was putting on an act like she’s done most of her life. She apologizes for everything and says they’ve both been prisoners, but tonight, she’s out of there. She’s meeting Jacob, they’re headed to a little farm, and she’s never coming back. Ella says her mother will hunt her down, but she has an idea. She takes the key.

In Storybrooke, Emma, Hook and Henry find Ella. Ella says she has to find her stepsister. She says doesn’t want to kill her. She says Corinda wasn’t the wicked one, she was. She tells Emma she can’t do it for her this time and that her happiness was a lie. Emma says she understands and her hand shakes. Ella runs. Hook tells Emma to use magic, but she can’t.

Regina goes to Zelena and asks if the Evil Queen was there. She sees the rattle and has her answer. Regina says Zelena should give it. Zelena says it’s a family heirloom, but Regina says there are strings attached. She tells Zelena that she just wants to help, but Zelena says she’s the one who ripped herself in half and she’s the one who needs help.

The Evil Queen approaches Emma’s group. She tells Henry that she’s as much his mother as Regina is. Emma tells him not to listen, and that the Evil Queen is the worst part of Regina. The Evil Queen suggests it might be the most honest. She says Regina never got her happy ending because she won’t let her story play out. Emma says if the Evil Queen goes after Ashley, she’ll save her again. The Evil Queen says all of the happy endings are going to turn to dust and uses a lot of words to say that Emma is a big loser in the end. She says everything is going to fall apart, and the three of them disappear, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Henry, Hook and Emma are on a dirt road. Emma says the Evil Queen took them off the chessboard.

David visits Belle. He has something for her from her husband. He gives her a cassette tape. Belle asks what David needed from him. David says Rumpel has information about his father and Belle says he can tell Rumpel he’s held up his end of the bargain. They talk about David’s father. She says it’s hard for fathers and sons. No matter what the damage, they still need each other.

Emma makes a mini speech about Ashley being her first save and says they have to find her. Hook suggests she go back to her education as a bail bondsperson. Henry says they should check the book. Checking the ending is all they need.

The stepmother tells Ella that Clorinda ran off with the footman. Ella says the prince is looking for her, and if she marries him, Clorinda can do what she wants. The stepmother says Ella looks like garbage and has the education of her cat. She says maybe if Ella had proof, and looks in the trashcan, finding the shoe. She lifts it out of the can. Ella says it’s nothing. The stepmother asks where Clorinda is, and Ella spills the beans (not to be confused with the Jack and the Beanstalk beans), I guess in the hope that her shoe will be spared. The stepmother “drops” the shoe, and it smashes to smithereens.

Storybrooke Ella finds Clorinda in the barn. She sees Clorinda has been hurt and runs to her. Ella says it’s all her fault, but if she fixes their story, maybe Clorinda can forgive her. She realizes that Clorinda isn’t hurt at all, and Clorinda says it’s too late. She can’t forgive Ella and neither can her mother. The stepmother reveals herself. She has a rifle and cocks it.

In the old days, Snow takes the prince to where Ella is. Ella is locked in and they can’t hear her calling. The tiny mouse gets Snow’s attention and gives her the key. They enter the house. The prince asks Ella why she ran away. She says the shoe is broken and there’s no proof now, and if he wants someone else, she understands. He says why would he want to do that and asks her name. When she says Ella, he says he’d like to change that to Princess Ella. They kiss and she thanks Snow. The prince says he’ll get the royal glass blower to make her new shoes.

She says there’s something she has to do first.

Clorinda is about to take Jacob to the Land of Untold Stories through the magic door, when the stepmother kills him. Ella runs to them, announcing her engagement and showing off her ring. Clorinda can’t believe Ella is so ignorant, and the stepmother makes it all about her, saying that when it’s finally her turn to catch a break, Ella gets everything and she gets nothing. She says that’s not going to happen. She’s going to pause her life and maybe she’ll come back when people are more appreciative of her. She jumps through the magic door.

Ella tells Clorinda that Jacob is in Storybrooke. On the other side, the stepmother drags Jacob into the barn. She wants to shoot Jacob. Ella says she knows her stepmother is in pain, but she doesn’t get to take it out on Jacob. She stands between them. The stepmother says it’s a coward’s weapon anyway, and not personal enough. She produces a knife and stabs Ella.

Emma arrives. She goes to Ella, but her hand starts to shake. Henry tells her she can do it. She concentrates and zaps Ella, whose wound magically disappears. Ella apologizes to Clorinda, Hook and Emma embrace, everyone is happy, probably not for long.

Regina and Snow take Jekyll to a garage with a lab in it. A guy who looks like Sting tells them ti’s his. They can use it, but don’t touch anything in the fridge – it’s not food. He introduces himself as Dr. Frankenstein. Snow is hoping to get the town back to normal. I’m not quite sure what she means by that.

Everyone else gathers at a picnic area where Grumpy is giving the stepmother golf lessons. Emma asks Hook to move in with her. She says live is uncertain, but she could make space in her closet for some black leather. They kiss.

David ponders a piece of paper. He tells Snow that Gold gave it to him. It’s an article about a shepherd found in the wreckage of a cart. He’d been stabbed. David says it’s his father, and this means he wasn’t drunk and killed in an accident. Snow says his father kept his word, but David says the killer is still out there. Snow tells him that what he’s contemplating is vengeance, not justice, and to leave it along. She says raising a family is the most important thing they’ll ever do, and if he’s off on some crusade, they can’t do it. David says bring Neil up is epic enough for him. He tells her to go to bed and that he’s burning the paper.

She leaves and he hesitates. He blows out the candle instead.

Belle plays the tape. We hear Rumpel reading poetry. We see him walking along the dock.

The Evil Queen says it’s not fair; the Savior wins. Hyde says but for how long? She says his pathetic other half is working on something to destroy her. Hyde tells her that if she wants his help, it’s a tall order to fill from inside a cell. The Evil Queen frees him and says let’s take a walk. They leave arm in arm.

Next time, Hyde is free to wreak havoc, Jekyll and Hyde come together, and Aladdin takes the stage in two weeks.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Siggy comes to see Dolores’s kitchen. They talk about Vermont. Siggy says she saw a side of Jacqueline she never did before, but Dolores says she just thought, here we go again. Siggy says she thinks Jacqueline believes they didn’t have her back because she’s getting the silent treatment. We flash back to how Siggy stood up for her at the dinner. Siggy says she didn’t leave her family and kids to go to a sh*tshow, and then have one of her best friends get mad at her when she didn’t do anything wrong. She wants to confront Jacqueline. In her interview, Dolores says Siggy wasn’t trained for this and wandered into the “do not feed” part of the zoo. Dolores says somebody has to admit they’re wrong and it ain’t gonna happen. She wonders what’s going on between Melissa and Jacqueline, but wants to keep her distance.

Melissa is at the boutique with Jackie and Derek, dressing the mannequins. Jackie feels that sales are dragging. Melissa thought they were doing well, but Jackie says the internet sales have been disappointing. Melissa thinks they have to move forward on social media. She’s having a fashion show, but Jackie is going to be in the Bahamas. We see where Jackie’s priorities are.

Melissa asks Derek what Kim D has against him. He seems taken aback, and she says Jacqueline was down her throat about him spreading stories. She says she went back and found some of his old videos and if he’s been talking trash about Teresa, they’ll have a problem. She talks about Kim D being a sh*t stirrer. No argument from me there.

Jacqueline tells Chris she’s disappointed in the girls. Siggy and Dolores come by. They do squats on the porch before ringing the bell. Jacqueline does have a super cute dog. I think it’s a Cocker Spaniel. Right away, Siggy wants clarity. She wants to know why Jacqueline is mad at her and points out that she’d backed her up in Vermont. Dolores says Siggy wants to know if her loyalty is being questioned. Sometimes I laugh as I type this stuff; it’s so stupid sounding.

Jacqueline pretends like she didn’t even know what was going on around her. She needed to go into her “cocoon.” Siggy says she was angry and hurt, and Dolores interjects that Jacqueline talks about how hurt she was. Chris compares Jacqueline to an abused dog and I go, come on now. Isn’t this the woman with the semi-violent tagline? Jacqueline says Melissa tried to rewrite history and she was disappointed. Dolores asks if she’s done with the friendships and Jacqueline says yes, both Teresa an Melissa. Siggy doesn’t want to go to Melissa’s fashion show now. Because we’re seven years old. Chris – why is he here? – says they’re both amazing people and talks about seeing inside their souls, making me uncomfortable. Siggy just does not want to accept all of this. She cries and hugs Jacqueline.

Is it me, or is Siggy way over-involved emotionally with other people’s problems?

Joe #2 visits Teresa. The kids are in school and Joe #1 is off somewhere. They talk about him taking his turn in prison. Joe #2 asks if Teresa was bitter at Joe #1 when she first went to prison. She says at first she was mad at him for getting her involved and was mad at herself for not reading everything, but knew that nothing was intentional. We see a home movie of her and brother Joe as teenagers. She says it was easy for them to mesh back together. Joe #2 tells her if she needs anything while her husband is away, just ask. Her main concern is the garbage, which I find funny, since it’s the one thing I don’t like to do when my husband is away.

Siggy meets Melissa for coffee. She’s thankful that Vermont is over. She says she hates the rift. Melissa says it got ugly. They talk about Jacqueline saying everyone thought of Melissa as a stuck-up bitch. Siggy says maybe her first impressions of Melissa were phony and self-absorbed. She thought Melissa wasn’t very invested in relationships and wondered why she held back. Melissa says she didn’t know Siggy and Siggy says she gets that now. Yes, Siggy, that’s how normal people are. Melissa says they all got thrown under the bus in Vermont. I think we might be able to get the lyrics of a country song out of this.

Siggy tells Melissa she can’t go to Melissa’s fashion show, or Kim D’s, because she wants to stay home with her blankie doesn’t want to be in the middle of this. She feels that if she goes, it will hurt Jacqueline. Melissa says if she’s going to Jacqueline’s events, she is picking sides. In her interview, Melissa wonders if Siggy is being persuaded or she just thinks Melissa is wrong. nose job Siggy says Jacqueline felt that Melissa didn’t have her back. Melissa says obviously Jacqueline isn’t okay with the good place she and Teresa are in and wanted to cause trouble. Siggy says Jacqueline was hurt that Melissa didn’t answer her question and Melissa doesn’t know how she was supposed to. She says Jacqueline was in her face like a Screaming Mimi, all over the place, yelling about everything from Melissa’s nose job (her “worst kept secret”) to Strippergate. Melissa says it’s fine if Jacqueline doesn’t want to be friends, but her approach was all wrong. She explains Strippergate to Siggy and tells her it wasn’t like Jacqueline had warned her specifically. She’d said that something was going to come out about someone. Yep. That narrows it down. Siggy asks if Melissa thinks Jacqueline had anything to do with it and Melissa says she doesn’t care. Melissa says the news is so old, it might be true, and calls out for a dollar. In her interview, Siggy says Melissa makes some valid points. What is wrong with this woman that she can’t see that Jacqueline is basically pissed because Teresa and her sister-in-law aren’t giving her enough attention? Siggy thanks Melissa for being level-headed and classy.

Dolores is out shopping with her mother, looking for Easter stuff. She talks about how she had to forget about the Italian/American dream, and how men looked down on her because she didn’t have an education. Her mother says it took her fifty years to stand up for herself, It was always about Siggy’s father. Her mother didn’t even have a clue about their finances. She says he was reluctant to show her, but he showed her anyway. (Seriously, whoever you are with, you should both have knowledge of things like that. I have a friend whose father’s death left a real mess because nobody knew anything except him.) Dolores says its in the DNA, and her mom was so dependent, it mentally and physically crippled her. Her mom says that’s the way her mom was too. Dolores says they grew up at the same time.

Ewww! It’s Kim D. Dolores and Jacqueline arrive for dinner before the fashion show. They talk about cleavage, but Jacqueline wastes no time in telling Kim D that Melissa thought that Jacqueline was behind Strippergate. She did not! Dolores tells them about Siggy not going to Kim or Melissa’s fashion show. Kim’s eager facial expression for any and all dirt is disgusting.

Kim D talks about how Teresa should get a move on a divorce, since Joe #1 can get 50% of what she’s worth. Dolores says that isn’t going to happen, and Kim D asks if Teresa is delusional or doesn’t know. She alludes that Joe #1 was cheating on Teresa while she was in jail and we see some tabloid headlines. She thinks Teresa should dump him. Both Jacqueline and Dolores aren’t taking the bait with this one and do not want to discuss Teresa’s marital business. In her interview, Dolores says Kim D can’t help who she is and can’t fight the DNA. Again with the DNA.

Siggy, Dolores, Teresa and Melissa meet for lunch. Teresa orders everything on the menu and Melissa says when they go out, Teresa and Joe #2 order fifteen appetizers each. Siggy says although she believes Jacqueline is coming from a good place, her talk with Melissa has changed her mind about going to Melissa’s fashion show. Teresa asks about Kim D’s show and if there was any drama. We flash back to all the previous Kim D events where there was much hair pulling and loud cursing.

Teresa says they need to look at the big picture – Jacqueline is the one who brought Kim D in. Teresa makes the proclamation that Jacqueline is crazy and Dolores says no more taling about anyone anymore. Siggy talks about Joe #1 going away and they all agree that it will be positive for him in several ways. Like laying off the sauce.

It’s time for Jacqueline’s Little Kernal popcorn event. Siggy tells Jacqueline about the lunch. She acts like she’d beat the pants off of anyone who talks about Jacqueline, but fails to mention that she’s going to Melissa’s show. Dolores announces that she’s having a future ladies night. Jacqueline says that Joe is having a going away party. While the entire family was invited, Chris is going, but she isn’t.

Chris makes a speech. They give a portion of their profits to an organization that helped them with Nicholas after he was diagnosed with autism. Chris also announces Ashlee’s pregnancy. Lots of smiles and congrats. Dolores tells Chris that if Jacqueline doesn’t go to Joe’s party, he shouldn’t. Chris says he was going to make an early entrance and exit, but Dolores discourages him. She thinks he should make a statement in standing by his wife, since these are people she just had an argument with. Oh brother. Not only do I think she’s sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, I think she’s wrong. Jacqueline’s fight isn’t with Joe, nor is her frenemy-ship. On top of it, this isn’t a normal party on a Saturday night. Joe is going to be gone for quite a while. To deny his friend to be at his going away party is kind of cruel. And Chris has it right to make it early and brief. He’s saying good-by to his friend, but not dancing the night away with the friends of her enemy friend enemy.

Teresa and Dolores meet at church. It’s done up for Easter and absolutely beautiful. Teresa says she thought she had the perfect life. Dolores talks about how they thought it would be, the white picket fence deal, and how it’s never really like that. Teresa says this generation would have said good-by at the first sign of trouble,.but she’s old school. Dolores says yeah, kids today don’t take that sh*t, then realizes where she is and says, sorry, Jesus, which is pretty funny. Teresa say she would never stand for infidelity and Dolores makes a half soap opera face. The two women say a prayer.

Next time, Siggy admits to plastic surgery – a lot of plastic surgery, Joe #1 tells Gia to never date, Teresa isn’t ready for Joe to leave, and Jacqueline gets emo again.

 

October 7, 2016 – Two Days of GH, One Zombie Apocalypse & Three Quotes

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Morgan sees a harpoon (or maybe it’s a giant fishhook) next to the cabin and stabs the door with it, leaving it in the wood.

Anna and Griff are having dinner. They talk about Emma. Emma is upset about Sabrrrina, and it hasn’t been that long since she had to accept Duke’s death. Griff can’t understand how Julian got set free.

Set free and walking into Alexis’s house again. Alexis asks what he’s doing there. This poor woman can’t catch a break to drink alone.

Sonny goes to a church. He tells God that Julian is a free man and he has to take action. A priest asks if he’s there for confession. I guess it would be a pre-confession confession?

Morgan heads to the bar. He sees Nell at a table. She asks how he’s doing and he tells her his girlfriend is cheating on him.

Olivia and Ned just got done with making the earth move. Oh ho! She says they just had sex in the boathouse. That must be who Morgan saw. They talk about keeping their reconnection a secret from Julian.

Yep, it was them. Kiki just gave Dillon a ride to the office. He wants to catch up on some work. He thanks her for the ride and for fixing up his hand. Kiki doesn’t think he’s okay, and she doesn’t mean his hand. He says that’s why he wants to work, to keep him from thinking about Paul. I’m not sure that’s the best idea, since he’s going through the Nurses Ball pictures and the next thing he sees is a picture of Paul.

Anna tells Griff that Paul sabotaged his own case. She says killing Sabrrrina had the collateral benefit of keeping her from testifying. Griff says he tries to tell himself it’s all part of God’s plan. Anna asks if it helps with the anger, but he says no, and hatred is new for him. He can’t get rid of it and it’s not very Christian. Anna says, but it is human.

Alexis tells Julian to get the hell out. He says he didn’t know she was home. She explains a restraining order means he needs to stay away from her and her residence. She goes to the phone, but he says he’s just there to pick up a box and after that, he’ll never darken her door again.

Sonny tells the priest that he’s just there to talk to God. After he leaves, Sonny tells God that he stopped going to confession a long time ago and has no right to ask for forgiveness. He has his own code. He let the court deal with Julian and they failed. He says Julian is a threat and he has to get justice himself. He tells God that He knows everything and knows why Sonny has to do this. Griff enters the church.

Nell tells Morgan she’s sorry to hear it. He apologizes for interrupting and she says she was just looking through some real estate listings since she can afford a place now. She asks him to sit down and asks if he wants to talk.

Apparently, Ned and Olivia were in such a hurry, they forgot to lock the door. Olivia checks it and finds the harpoon. She says someone is trying to send them a message.

Alexis tells Julian she’d say good night, but that would imply she wanted him to have one. Ha-ha! I’ll have to remember that. Julian says he thinks she has a problem and she says she does – him. He opens the door and Anna is on the porch.

Sonny tells Griff he was talking things over with the boss. Griff says it sounds like they’re at church for the same reason. They both put their faith in the justice system and now they have to put their faith in God. Sonny says kinda, sorta. He asks Griff what being humble gets him. Griff says he may not know why things happen or get answers, but he knows grace is there.

Dillon tells Kiki not to worry about him. She replies that she’s said those words herself when her mother does something crazy. She says they’re not responsible for their parents’ misdeeds, but she has a hard time believing it sometimes. Dillon says he feels like a character in a disaster movie, walking around the aftermath in shock. His father never showed his true self. Kiki says Dillon wanted to see the best in Paul and matter to him. Paul claimed he loved Dillon and let him down. She hasn’t been exactly where he is, but pretty close. Dillon says it helps that she understands.

Morgan gets a club soda and tells Nell he’s not drinking any more. He shows her his pill container and says they haven’t been working too well lately. He says the crazy thing is, that everyone tells him if he takes them, everything will be fine, but he feels like hell. He can’t even be like a normal person and drink. She tells him she can’t drink either and asks if he thinks she’s not normal.

Olivia says this is just what she said would happen. Ned says they don’t know why the harpoon is there, but Olivia thinks it’s a threat from Julian. He’s not going to stand by and let Ned be the man in Leo’s life. He’s an abuser and murderer who tried to slit his own wife’s throat. Ned says let’s find him and settle it.

Anna says she wondered when she’d run into Julian, but she didn’t expect it to be at Alexis’s house. He says first and last time, but they’re bound to run into each other since they’re both free. She tells him not to be too smug and what goes around comes around. The damage he’s done is coming back to bite him. He says he has protection from the PCPD from Sonny. She says sometimes your friends are really your enemies. He leaves and Alexis tells her she’s not in the mood and hurry it up.

Sonny says God might not approve of what he’s doing, but God sees his heart and knows why he’s doing it. Griff says his wife doesn’t approve of what he’s doing either. Sonny says Carly wanted him to trust the system, but it failed. The justice he wants isn’t just for him. Julian hurt a lot of people, including Griff. Griff says he wants justice served even more than Sonny does, but what gives Sonny the right to serve it? These are really good questions. Griff has added a lot to the scope of this show.

Morgan says he’s sure Nell means well, but their situations are different. She’s sick because she gave up a kidney. Nell says she was a child who had no choice, and it played with her head; he’s not the only one with problems. Morgan asks if they’re one of a kind, and she says if he wants to see it that way. He says he does and kisses her. Let’s not waste time.

Olivia and Ned go to The Floating Rib and see Julian. Olivia says she got his warning and she has one of her own. She says he might not like that she’s bringing another man into Leo’s life, but that’s no reason to threaten her. Julian has no idea what she’s talking about. Ned gives him a list of his sucky qualities. Julian says if he’s being threatened, he’d like to know why. Olivia shows him a picture of the harpoon in the door.

Alexis tells Anna she’s well aware she screwed up. She says her testimony was an incoherent mess. Anna asks if her drinking has anything to do with it, but Alexis says no, and she has no answer. Maybe it was nerves or stress, or maybe because she was in front of Julian, wondering what the blip happened. She says only one charge mattered to Anna – Duke. Anna says she wanted justice for him, but also for Alexis, and even Carrrlos. She says it was their one chance to get Julian. Alexis says no one is more aware of it than her, no one is more sick about it than her, and no one is more disappointed in her than her. Julian should be in jail and she botched it. Anna says she protected him for the better part of a year and hid it well, but fell apart when they had the chance to get him. Alexis says she gets that she’s a miserable failure and Julian is running around because of her. Anna says she’s said it all.

Griff asks what gives Sonny the right to exact justice? Sonny says he has resources other people don’t, and Griff asks if might makes right. Griff tells him, vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Sonny says he’d love to leave the vengeance to God, but God talks a good game and does nothing.

Nell tells Morgan that she was showing empathy and it wasn’t an invitation to kiss her. She thinks he’s just trying to deal with the pain of Kiki and hopes everything works out for him. She leaves and the alarm on Morgan’s phone goes off.

Kiki finds the picture of her and Dillon at the Nurses Ball. Dillon says it was an incredible night. She says they got thrown together at the last minute and they killed it. He says he remembers being happy that night, and she says she does too.

Alexis explains that she didn’t let Julian in; he let himself in. Anna tells her to change the locks. Anna says she was a witness to Julian violating the restraining order, and Alexis should report it.

Olivia tells Julian that she and Ned were meeting in secret. Julian says until she just told him, he had no idea they were meeting. He says the harpoon was creative, but not his work, and congrats on getting back together. He says it doesn’t interest him, sorry. Julian starts talking about visitation, but Olivia isn’t keen on it. He says he can see Leo whenever he wants, and if she tries anything to stop him, then she’ll have to worry about hooks.

Sonny asks Griff where God was every time a tragedy happened. He has to do what he’s going to do because it’s the only way he knows, and until God is going to take care of business, he has to do the dirty work.

Olivia asks Ned if he believes Julian, and he says he does. She wonders who would put the harpoon in the door and why. Ned thinks it was Dillon venting about Paul. <sound of the X on Family Feud>

Kiki says that was the first night she and Dillon kissed, and Dillon says it was one of the best nights of his life. Kiki says her too, and they kiss again.

Morgan ignores the alarm and puts the pills back in the container. He orders a double vodka straight.

Anna says it might not be enough to get him arrested, but Alexis should get it on the books. Her best hope is that Julian doesn’t come back. Alexis wonders if Sonny will follow through. Anna says when Julian had Duke shot, he was hiding behind Alexis and Danny, but Danny doesn’t need him anymore. She says she wanted Julian to spend all the years rotting away that he stole from Duke. She tells Alexis that she made it clear to Sonny that if he had Julian killed, he’d be prosecuted. She used everything to make sure Sonny didn’t exact revenge, but not any more.

A guy watches Julian go to the elevator and follows. We’re not sure if it’s a crony, Sonny’s henchman, or a coincidence.

Griff says what Sonny is doing is dirty work, but not God’s work. God has his reasons and Sonny isn’t serving God no matter what he tells himself. Sonny asks if believing in God means believing in His infinite wisdom and Griff says maybe.

Tomorrow, Sam asks if Alexis has been drinking, Kiki still cares about Dillon, and Scotty tells Ava to stay away from…someone.

📢 Important information: The Real Housewives of Atlanta is back on Sunday, November 6, and Vanderpump Rules premieres, Monday, November 7. Gratuitous shots of Giggy!

General Hospital – Friday

Dillon thinks he took advantage of Kiki, but she says no. She says she kissed him back. Dillon says he was looking for sympathy and she’s just being gracious. Kiki says she never got over him. He asks what about Morgan?

Alexis is getting her drink on when the doorbell rings. It’s Sam and Molly. Sam asks if she’s been drinking.

Morgan orders a double vodka straight and tells the bartender to leave the bottle. Ava and Scotty walk in. Scotty tells Ava not to get involved with stray dogs. He wants to get paid. Ava is like, already? and says he just gave her a wad of cash. He says that’s why he’s broke. He mentions her giving the placebo to Morgan, and she reminds him of attorney/client privilege. He tells her now that Morgan is crazy, she should stay away from him. She says he might need her and Scotty tells her it’s her funeral.

Griff asks Sonny how he’ll be able to live with himself, or face Carly and his kids, with blood on his hands. Like that’s never happened before. Griff says Sonny doesn’t want the sins of the Father visited on his sons.

Ava sits next to Morgan and asks if he’s drinking. He orders another and she says he hasn’t finished the first one. He tells her she’s right, downs it, and tells her to go away. She says she’s concerned, and he tells her to leave him alone. She asks if he ever found Kiki. HHe says he found her all right.

Jason comes into The Floating Rib and Carly says she’s glad he stopped by. He asks if she needs help taking out the garbage, referring to Julian. Julian tells her she needs legal advice, but she says she’s just fine, thanks. She tells Jason she evicted Julian.

Griff says that Sonny knows in his heart that Griff is right. Sonny says no son or daughter of his will ever pay for what he’s done because he protects them. Griff says if he felt what he was going was okay, he wouldn’t be there, and asks if he can share one thing. Griff says he did terrible things when he was priest, things he’s had to live with, and says he wishes someone had reached out. He tells Sonny that he doesn’t have to do anything he’ll regret. Sonny tells him God helps those tho help themselves Griff says that’s not Scripture (thank you) and what he’s contemplating is a sin.

Alexis explains to Molly that she and Sam made a deal not to drink together, since Sam is pregnant. Molly points out the glass and Alexis says it was Anna’s. They girls had seen her pulling out and Sam apologizes. Alexis asks why they’re at her house on a Friday night when they should have dates. Molly brought pastries to celebrate Alexis’s new gig as a consultant.

Carly tells Jason that Julian’s lease is coming up and there’s a morals clause, and his presence is detrimental to her hotel. A guest saw him threaten Sonny, so he’s out. If he tries using her for a reference on another place, she’ll make his life so miserable, he’ll leave town. Meanwhile, Julian calls Scotty, who says he needs to see the document. Julian says his life would be easier if Anna was locked up, but his primary concern is Sonny.

Sonny says Griff’s demons are between him and his Maker, but he has to deal with his own life in the best way he knows how. He says let’s talk about Julian. He puts a hit on Duke, kills Carrrlos, and puts a knife to Alexis’s throat, and if Sonny hadn’t shown up, she’d be dead. Griff says that doesn’t excuse him. Sonny says Julian threatened him and would go after an innocent child just as easily. He wonders if he should be a sitting duck like Duke, and when should he stop turning the other cheek and defend himself? Griff says it sounds like he’s having doubts. They’re standing in front of a Sacred Heart statue, and Griff says the Sacred Heart is about love. Their purpose isn’t to do miracles like Jesus, but to love and forgive like Jesus, and offer it to the Father. Sonny says Jesus is divine; he’s human and past the point of redemption. Griff says what he’s planning is wrong and he has a chance to make things right for everyone who loves him.

The bartender cuts Morgan off. Ava tells him that whatever she’s done, she’s done because she loves Kiki. She still cares about Morgan, and seeing him like this scares her. He suggests she take her scared ass somewhere else.

Scotty wants to talk in person and Julian says he’ll come to the bar. He leaves and Jason and Carly make jokes about him. Jason asks her what’s really going on, and she tells him about Morgan getting expelled. She says he’s angry and humiliated, but now he seems out of control. Jason says sometimes it takes a while for meds to balance, but she says he’s her baby boy and she feels like she’s not doing enough for him. Jason says she’s supportive of all her kids and a great mom. She thanks him.

Morgan tells Ava that he saw kiki and dillon having sex and says isn’t that what she wanted? She doesn’t seem happy and leaves. Morgan asks for another drink, but the bartender says he’s done. Morgan puts a pile of money on the bar, but his keys are in it and the bartender takes them.

Sonny makes a call. He cancels the job. He says make sure it doesn’t happen, and tell the contractor to stand down.

Julian goes to The Floating Rib. His lackey stays with the car and has a smoke even though he’s wearing the patch. His phone rings and he steps away from the car.

Kiki tells Dillon that things were awkward at first, but she and Morgan reconnected and she thought things were going to be okay. Overnight he changed. She says she’ll always love him, but the love she feels isn’t strong enough. She feels like the relationship is a crutch for both of them – him leaning on her, and her trying to fix things and losing sight of who she is. She made Morgan think he’s the one for her and maybe he’s not.

Morgan leaves and Julian tells Scotty about the eviction. Ava wants to follow Morgan and Scotty says don’t do it.

TJ sees Morgan outside. Morgan says he has to get out of there and Tj offers to drive. Morgan sees Julian’s car with the keys in it and says it’s an easy ride, but TJ says he’s not going to let him go anywhere.

Alexis tells the girls she’s had no luck finding work. She says she made her choices and she has to live with the consequences. Molly says whoever turned her down is an idiot, but Alexis says she’ll broaden her horizons, write a novel , play piano. Molly takes the pastries to the kitchen, and Sam asks Alexis to level with her. She says she has a solution.

Dillon asks if Kiki is talking about him being the right one. She says yes, but she’s been giving him mixed signals. He says he’s a big boy and can take it. She says she can’t seem to stick to a decision, when all she wants to do is the right thing. He tells her he did what he thought was the right thing, giving her and Morgan their space, but he never got her out of his system. They kiss.

TJ suggests a walk. Morgan says he’s a good guy and thanks him. Then he punches him out and takes the car. Alrighty then.

Griff and Sonny make a soap opera face at each other. Sonny nods and leaves. Griff looks at Jesus.

Ava doesn’t think Morgan should be running around drunk. Julian asks why he should care, and she says he’s dating Julian’s niece. Julian says maybe Kiki will dump him, so she should be happy. She says she wants him out of Kiki’s life, but doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him.

Jason finds TJ, who tells him what happened. He says he’ll handle it.

Morgan drives like a maniac. Who is he going to crash into? Nell? Michael? Kiki and Dillon? Sonny???

Sam wants Alexis to consult with her investigation. Molly comes back, saying social media has devolved to anarchy and mob rule. They’re saying Alexis threw the trial. Alexis says it’s just words. They can take it to heart or it can make them stronger. Molly suggests canceling her date, but Alexis says she’s fine.

Ava says she doesn’t think Morgan is good for Kiki , but she doesn’t want him wandering around drunk. Scotty says she still has a soft spot for her boy toy. She says she’s concerned about Kiki. Julian says she can’t control what anyone ends up doing.

Kiki pulls away from Dillon, wondering what she’s doing. Dillon says it feels right being with her and she agrees.

Carly calls Morgan, but no answer. Jason calls and he picks up. Jason says he’s right behind him. He says Morgan almost hit him peeling out and TJ told him he stole a car. Morgan says he’s an embarrassment to his family and his parents hate him. Jason says they love him and to pull the car over and let him help. Morgan sees Carly calling. She leaves a message apologizing for how they left things. She knows he’s upset, but it’s just a set back, and she knows from experience he’ll rise above it. She says no one wants him to be perfect; they just want him to him. She asks him to call, and says she loves and needs him.

Jason asks Morgan to pull over again Morgan says everything in his life is over and a big pile of crap. He says everything is done. Jason asks him to trust him and pull over. He tells Morgan to pull into the turn ahead.

Molly leaves and Sam asks if Alexis wants her to stay and talk about work, but Alexis says she’s tired, so Sam leaves. Alexis can’t get back to her wine fast enough. She looks pretty good for being a major alcoholic. She says “cheers” to herself.

Griff thanks God for helping Sonny find the goodness within him, and asks Him to help Sonny find peace.

Sonny goes to see Carly. She asks what’s up. She says he seems like something is different; he’s more relaxed. He says he feels like everything is going to be okay for the first time in a long time. This is because he doesn’t know he lives on a soap, or he would know just thinking that is going to cause tragedy.

Kiki says her head is spinning. She can’t move forward with Dillon until she’s honest with Morgan. She doesn’t want to hurt him any further and she has to tell him that Dillon is the one for her. She leaves, and they make soap opera faces at each other as the elevator closes.

Scotty says if Ava wants to waste time, fine, but he wants to get paid. She wants to know if Morgan is okay. Julian is like, hey, what about me> His crony tells him the car is gone.

Morgan and Jason pull over. Morgan says he messed up really bad, but Jason says they can fix it and get out of the car. Morgan gets out and the car blows up.

On Monday, Julian thinks Sonny blew up the car, Nell tells Kiki that Morgan thinks they’re breaking up and Jason rescues Morgan…maybe.

Z Nation

We see a disembowelment. We see a town destroyed. We see spray paint. We see a red hand.

The latest version of Operation Bite Mark comes across several disemboweled zombie guys hanging from a bridge. Hector says it looks like something he would do and someone is trying to send a message. Shots are fired and the zombies fall to the ground, immediately attacking the group. OBM dispatches them all, with Roberta slicing one’s head nicely into several pieces like a ham. Doc says he knew it was a sketchy neighborhood by the graffiti.

They start to walk away, but a trio of armed men on the bridge stops them. One says the zombies were their friends and they shot them down to bury them. They tell OBM that the Red Hand killed everyone, and after they bury their friends, they’re going after them and their leader Escorpion. D’oh! They ask to see OBM’s hands and ask why OBM is there. Roberta says they’re just passing through.

Older guy says the Red Hand came through like a storm and tortured and killed all of them. He says he thought they were an apocalypse legend like The Murphy, but they’re real. They’re crazy vigilantes taking orders from Escorpion. They’ll know Escorpion by his tattoo.

Suddenly, one of the men is shot, and the group is being pelted with Molotov cocktails.

Murphy looks out to a crowd that’s gathering and says he sees seeking squatters in the cheap seats. Murphy checks out the zombie “moat” that surrounds his abode. Kind of like Colonia’s wall in Fear the Walking Dead. He says it’s good, but needs more zombies. A guy comes running up to him saying he needs Murphy’s help. He brings Murphy to a tent where a woman is dying and he asks Murphy to save her. Murphy says he’s too weak because his blood is being taken to facilitate a vaccine. He says he can’t bite everyone, but a cure is coming.

Dr. Merch checks Murphy out. He says he has no pep. She says he needs to up his calorie intake and needs a lot of blood. He says sometimes he feels like he’s slipping away and becoming one of them. The doctor has a booster with a micro-dose of the original vaccine that should make him feel less dead. He asks if she can cure him and she says she’s working on it.

Now that Merch has Murphy’s blood, she can work on a cure. She says he needs the boosters in the meantime so he doesn’t end up like patient zero. 10K tells Murphy the natives outside are getting restless. Merch says she should have something soon, but they’ll need to test it. Murphy says his people need the vaccine now. 10K has some kind of seizure.

Roberta and the others hide inside a building. It’s a novelty company and Hector steps on some squeaky plastic poop. They hear screams and sounds from somewhere. It’s pretty creepy with all the weird toys their flashlights reveal, and they find a trail of blood leading to a woman. She’s still alive. Roberta asks if she’s with the Red Hand. She is, and she says they’re surrounded by a hundred of them, and their hearts will be fed to Escorpion. This is news to Hector.

Doc inadvertently sits on a whoopee cushion. He and Dr. Sun have taken Addie to a table in a different part of the building. Addie has a toothache and Sun says it’s an infection that will kill her. Doc tells Addie they’ll have to pull it. Addie says it’s not going to happen; when you start losing teeth, it’s over.

10K wakes up, asking what happened. Dr. Merch says she gave him a booster shot and she’s been taking them too. It counters Murphy’s bite and stops his control. Merch needs his help. She says they’re immune to Murphy’s control, but not the zombies and the zombies know it. Murphy is turning people into hybrids and she wants to destroy the vaccine and get away from him.

A group of people get into the building looking for Murphy to bite them He says he can’t bite everyone. It would kill him and they’ll all die. The man he encountered earlier asks him to just bite the woman, but she dies and becomes a zombie. Murphy says sorry for his loss but she can become part of the moat guard. He yells to Merch that they need the vaccine now.

The Red Hand goes through the town, setting everything on fire. Roberta asks Hector whats going on, and he says he thinks someone is impersonating him. She says or co-opting his brand. It will only make things worse if they find out who Hector is.

Roberta asks the woman what happened, and she says justice. The guys from the town want to interrogate her. Younger guy tries to hurt her and Hector steps in. Roberta asks why they were targeted and younger guy says they’re crazy. She asks why crazy for them and why did they spray paint “thieves” on the bridge? Roberta draws her gun and says they’re being put in danger and asks what really happened. Older guy says they were starving and it was their food. The woman says they killed innocent people for the food and Escorpion is the protector of the innocent. Older guy says he has to make his way, the same as them; it’s the way it’s always been; it’s nature.

Doc gives Addie some crushed Oxy for her tooth, saying it’s not exactly the party he wanted. They hear sounds. Doc goes to the door and Sun looks outside. They both say, oh sh*t. They grab Addie and run as Molotiv cocktails bombard the room. They get Addie to another room, but Sun thinks she might be going into septic shock.

Hector asks the woman what Escorpion looks like. She says, you and younger guy hears. The woman talks to Hector in Spanish, but zombies are breaking into the room. Hector and Roberta beat the crap out of them, and Hector blocks the door. The woman turns and Roberta has to mercy her.

Doc and Sun hold Addie down and try to pull her tooth, but she’s not having it and fights them. Doc tells her they’re just trying to help and Sun knocks her out long enough to pull the tooth.

Outside, war is being raged by the so-called Red Hand. Older and younger guy want to know what the woman said. They think it’s convenient she’s dead, but Hector says she probably doesn’t think so. They all go to the door. It’s a zombie with a body bomb. Hector says whoever they are, they’ve got style.

Roberta opens the door and tosses a monkey-playing-cymbals out. The zombie bomb follows it and blows up elsewhere, while the monkey plays on. There’s a back-up zombie bomb though. Roberta says get back, but she gets thrown in the blast. Hector stumbles to her. He tells her to wake up. Nooo! Roberta can’t die.

Hector tells Roberta he needs her and to get up. She’s still alive. A zombie grabs Hector and the other two guys jet. Hector struggles with the zombie. Another zombie joins in. Roberta gets up and starts to shoot, but she’s foggy and her aim isn’t too good. A third zombie joins the fray, and she manages to shoot two of them and Hector gets the last one. I think Hector likes Roberta. Uh-oh, older and younger guy see his tattoo.

Older guy draws his gun, but Roberta has also drawn hers.

10K goes through the zombie moat and puts some stuff into a truck bed. He tells Merch to get her stuff and let’s go. She turns around and Murphy is there. He says 10K needs a Murphy booster. He doesn’t have to bite him again, but he wants him to try the new vaccine. He pulls out a something that looks like an ear piercing gun. 10K backs away and jumps out the window. Amazingly, he’s unhurt and runs. Murphy calls everyone to go after him.

10K runs through the woods with Murphy’s guys chasing him. One dressed as a soldier pops out from the side and knocks 10K down. They punch each other for a while and the soldier knocks 10K’s head into a tree. 10K tries to fight some more, but ends up down. He gets the better of the soldier though and jumps over a fence. He continues to run.

Dammit. Murphy’s second in command finds 10K. He says he doesn’t blame 10K, but Murphy cares about him and only wants to help. 10K launches himself off a cement pillar and onto another one.

Hector tells them they have it wrong. He says he has nothing to do with the Red Hand and he’s not that man anymore. For being Escorpion he deserves to die, but not for this and not by them. He grabs the younger guy who ends up falling on his own knife, getting impaled through the throat. I make a noise like oooew out loud. Older guy asks for help, but it’s too late. Younger guy is dead and turns immediately. Hector shoots him. Older guy tries to shoot Hector, but Hector gets him first.

Merch is giving vaccines to a long line of people. With each vaccine, Murphy shakes the person’s hand and says, “Welcome to the future.” Murphy says it’s good to see the doctor recommitted. He says she’s part of the cure and it’s the future. She looks depressed and he asks if it’s about 10K, and if it is, that’s on her. He says it will be a life without fear and desperation. They’ll start over and do it right this time; they’ll do it his way. He says he can feel she’s still fighting it, but she’ll come around.

10K continues to run along a bridge – the same one he walked across with Murphy in the last episode. Zombies are on one side and Murphy’s people are on the other. He looks down into the rapids, the same way he did before. He hoists himself up and over and into the water. He’s gone but maybe not a goner.

Addie apologizes to Sun and thanks her, but adds never to touch her again. Doc looks outside and says he doesn’t see anything moving. He suggests they get out. We see blood all over the novelty items. Roberta and Hector walk out to the street. Hector says he’ll never get away from who he is. Roberta says none of them will; it’s the apocalypse. He says if he stays with her, they’re in danger; everyone close to him dies. Roberta says everyone close to everyone dies, and all they can do is survive another day. She says she doesn’t need a saint or lover, but a killer. He can’t change who he is, but can change what he does. She asks him to use who he is to give them all another chance.

The group merges back together. Doc says it looks like they missed a helluva party. Roberta says she doesn’t believe the Red Hand moved on, and thinks they haven’t seen the last of them. Doc calls to Hector. Hector hesitates, but comes along. We see the word “fear” spray painted above the door they came out of.

Murphy calls to Merch who’s walking away from the building. She walks out into the zombie moat and lets herself be nosed by the zombies. She starts to freak and finally screams. Murphy yells for them to stop, but it’s too late. She’s officially a zombie snack.

Next time, Murphy doesn’t get why they want to stop him, Murphy tries to revive Merch, and 10K might still be alive. Or half-alive. Or whatever he is now.

👓 I also recommend Aftermath, which I’ve been watching on SyFy at 11 pm on Fridays. I have no freaking idea what this show is about – some other kind of apocalypse – but it’s definitely intriguing and has a dragon.

Quotes of the Week:

A life like this develops the comedy sense. You can’t play tragedy while you’re living it. – Edna Ferber, Gigolo, 1922

If you’re drunk and lost, you don’t need to find New Jersey. It’s been inside you all the time. – Michael Che doing a story on SNL’s Weekend Update

I believe most people are essentially good. I know that I am. It’s you I’m not entirely sure of. –Stephen KingFull Dark, No Stars, 2010

 

October 5, 2016 – Paul Departs Port Charles & Baby Number Two Arrives in Little LA

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante is looking for Sonny. Carly tells him that Sonny got a call and had to leave. Dante tries to pry into what kind of call it was.

Andre sees Morgan at the bar. This causes Morgan to order a water. Andre sees a load of empties next to him, and asks if there’s a good reason Morgan is risking his life. At one of the tables, Tracy orders a martini.

Dillon is tossing things around at the cabin and Ned comes to the door. He asks if Dillon needs help with anything, and suggests they take a ride in the Maserati, but Dillon says he’s already stared death in the face once this week.

Jordan tells Paul he’s being transferred soon. Paul tells Jordan that he has something to say that will impact a lot of people. Jordan tells him not to waste his breath and wonders what he could possibly have to bargain with.

Michael comes to the station looking for Dante. While the desk sergeant is looking at the roster, Michael reaches for his gun, but Sonny grabs his arm. Seriously, Michael, do you really think that’s a good idea? Is Morgan rubbing off on you?

Kiki tells Tracy she’s sorry about Paul. She says it might help to talk about it and tells Tracy about how it helped her to talk after she was shot. She says she tried to reach out to Dillon, but he’s not returning her calls. Tracy says if anyone is going to help him, it’s not going to be the girl who threw him aside, and the only help she wants is for Kiki to get her martini.

Dillon is looking for his fishing rod. It was a present from Paul and he wants to burn it.

Paul says the information he has will impact Jordan and many other people. Ava encourages him to wait for a lawyer before he says another word. Paul tells Jordan that he plans on pleading guilty, and Jordan says she’ll let the DA’s office know. When she’s gone, Ava says Paul could turn her in for leniency. He says he could, but he didn’t, and she’s welcome. Her way of saying thank you is asking him what he’s really up to.

Morgan asks Andre what about confidentiality? Andre says when he sees his patient acting in an unhealthy way, he’s going to say something no matter where they are. Morgan says the beer bottles on the bar are from someone else. He’s waiting for his food and just drinking water. Andre asks if he went for the blood test. Morgan tells him yes and that he’ll be there tomorrow for his session. Andre tells Morgan that his parents are worried, and Morgan says they’ll talk about that too, when it’s not in public. Andre leaves and Morgan orders another beer.

Sonny tells Michael that Nell called and she’s worried about him. He asks if Michael thinks he’s just going to go in and shoot Paul. Michael says he doesn’t have a gun, but he’s not fooling Sonny. Sonny says Paul will be taken care of, and Michael says yeah, like Julian was.

Dante tells Carly he’s not there as a cop, but he knows Sonny is going after Julian, which concerns him. She wonders why he thinks that, and he says call it instinct, but Sonny has definitely been keeping his distance. Dante says Julian has it coming, but the violence will escalate like it always does. The next time they get together, it won’t be for a family dinner, but to bury Sonny or someone else in the family.

Darby sees Morgan and orders a scotch. She says she’s on a study break. He says he’s on a permanent break and it’s her fault, since she recommended the site he got his paper from. She asks if he ran it through the plagiarism filter. He says she never mentioned that, but Darby says she didn’t think she had to. I’m almost never on Morgan’s side, but if he didn’t know about the site, how was he supposed to know about that? Morgan says he doesn’t care about school anyway; all he cares about is losing Kiki.

Kiki asks Olivia if she can leave early. She wants to find Dillon.

Dillon tells Ned he doesn’t want to be ambushed by a bunch of old memories. Ned tells him this reminds him of his 8th birthday. He cared less about the presents than seeing his father, and Larry paraded him around the house on his shoulders. He was king for a day, and Larry gave him diamond cufflinks. He says it was all fun and games until his father was caught fondling someone other than his mother behind the pool house. His mother had the cufflinks appraised and they were worthless. Ned says while the cufflinks are long gone, the memory isn’t. He says Larry will always be a part of him and Paul will always be a part of Dillon. It’s how they handle it that matters.

Ava asks for the flash drive, saying Paul has no need for it now. He says circumstances might change in the future. She says if the time comes and he needs her, she’ll be there; they’re kindred spirits. He says that’s exactly why he’s keeping it. He tells her that she claims her daughters are the most important thing to her, so be there for them. After the damage is done, it’s too late. Ava tells him to take care of himself and leaves.

Dante asks Carly how many close calls is it going to take before the law of averages catches up with her? He says it isn’t God protecting them, it’s blind luck. Carly says she begged Sonny to let the law do its job with Julian. He agreed and the system failed. Now Julian is free and it sends the wrong message to Sonny’s enemies. She says she’s done everything she can to avoid what’s coming, but maybe Dante can do something, and God help them if he doesn’t succeed.

Sonny says he wanted his kids to be better than him, and they are. He says Michael knows the difference between right and wrong, and acts accordingly. If he kills Julian, people won’t see him as he is, but as a criminal who’s the son of a criminal. Sonny tells Michael that if he can’t appeal to his goodness, he’ll appeal to his intelligence. He says vengeance is expensive. It will cost Michael the rest of his life, and don’t throw it away on Paul.

Morgan says he’s screwing up the best thing he ever had – again. Darby says Kiki has the patience of a saint – anyone else would have run screaming for the exit – and he needs to get it together.

Kiki shows up at the cabin. She says she wanted to check on Dillon, but feel free to tell her to leave. He does, but she doesn’t. He says he wants to go through all of the junk there and find the fishing rod Paul gave him. Kiki finds it immediately. That’s usually how it works at my house too.. My husband will look for something for an hour, and then I go, it’s right here.

Olivia sees Ned at the bar. They make small talk, and Ned sits down with Tracy. Ned asks if she wants to talk about Paul. He suggests Tracy look up her former in-laws. She asks what he’s talking about and he says Paul’s death. They have to kill him.

Sonny gets home and asks what’s going on. Dante says he wants to talk about Sonny and his plans for Julian. Sonny says it’s none of his business, but he should worry about his brothers. Michael and Morgan need all the help they can get.

Andre sees Jordan at the station. She says she needs a vacation. He’s brought her food. She says the killer was in plain sight, right under her nose. Andre says he was under all their noses. Jordan responds that she’s the commissioner and it’s over; she’s resigning.

Tracy says Ned isn’t a killer. He says he’s a son whose mother was at the hands of a killer. She tells him to let the law take care of Paul; she’s dealing with trying to get the hospital back open. He says until she faces Paul and what he did, she’ll never have peace.

Michael sees Paul. Paul wondered when he was going to get there. Michael says he’d like to kill Paul, but he’s not worth him throwing his life away. He wants answers though. He asks why Paul killed Sabrrrina. Paul says it’s difficult to explain; everything spiraled. Michael says Joe brought Teddy back to Puerto Rico, but one day he’ll want answers, and Paul owes Teddy that much. Paul says when that day comes, to tell Teddy that his mother died a hero.

Dillon says growing up, Tracy said he was better off without Paul, but he didn’t believe her. When Paul showed up wanting to know Dillon, he fell for it. Dillon was standoffish at first, but little by little Paul got to him, to the point where he cared about what Paul thought. He says it’s pathetic, but not any more. He cuts himself on the rod and says another gift from his dad.

Sonny tells Dante about Morgan getting expelled and says Morgan needs Dante’s support. Dante says if Sonny starts a war over Julian, he won’t be around for his children. He tells him to let it go.

Ava approaches Olivia wanting to know where Kiki is. Olivia says she left early to help a friend – Dillon. Ava asks if she went to the Quatermaine estate. Olivia says she doesn’t know and walks away. Morgan walks in.

Andre says Jordan can’t resign. She has a responsibility as a role model, the first black female police commissioner, and their trust in her wasn’t misplaced.

Paul tells Michael that he was worried Sabrrrina would put it together when she found Monica. We flash back to Sabrrrina telling him about the injection mark and how she’d thought he was going to get help. He says things changed, and he knew that she knew. Michael says she must have fought him, and he had to choke her with his bare hands. Michael asks how long it took and how long she was afraid. Tracy comes in and says this is done.

Kiki tends to Dillon’s wound. She says he might have a scar. He says he’ll use it as a reminder not to end up like his dad. She asks if she’s like her mother. She tells him not to let his father define him. He’s nice, kind, and funny, and has a lot of people he can lean on. His mom, his brother, and her.

Ava sees Morgan and he asks if she’s seen Kiki. She says she wants to stay out of it; his relationship with Kiki is none of her business. He’s insistent and she tells him Olivia told her that Kiki was upset about Dillon. She says Kiki is probably just comforting him and nothing romantic is going on.

Sonny says he trusted the system, Julian the psycho walked, and now Dante wants him to let it go. Dante says if he goes after Julian, people will be killed. Sonny says people are killed around Dante all the time. Dante says Sonny knows how it works and innocents get caught in the crossfire. He says it’s not happening to his son, and if the choice is between saving his son and taking Sonny down, he won’t hesitate.

Tracy tells Michael to go home. He says he wanted closure, but all he sees is waste. There’s no satisfaction. She tells him Paul will never have what they do, and take comfort in that. He leaves. Paul asks how Dillon is, and Tracy says Dillon is lost to Paul now and Paul is all alone.

Michael asks Jordan how long before Paul is tried. She says he’s pleading guilty and if he ever gets out, he’ll be too old to be a danger to anyone.

Paul tells Tracy that when he looks at what he did, it’s like looking at a stranger. He says he would never hurt his son. She says no he won’t. She tells him she talked Ned out of killing him, but if he contacts Dillon, he’ll wake up in hell.

Carly tells Dante that Sonny doesn’t want anyone in danger, but Julian is making threats. She tells Sonny violence isn’t the answer and he’s smart enough to fight Julian in other ways, like robbing him blind. Dante says to pick a form of justice where he’s not going to have to pick up the pieces. Sonny says he’s not pulling the trigger on Julian and Dante says he knows a hedge when he hears one. Sonny says he’ll always keep danger away from his family. Dante says so will he. Carly and Sonny make soap opera faces at each other.

Paul is being led away. Jordan asks him how the case again Julian fell apart and asks why he threw it. He tells her to ask Ava.

Andre makes a call asking for Morgan’s blood work to be sent over. He tells them to check again. He realizes that Morgan was never there. Ava overhears.

Morgan goes to the cabin, and sees Kiki and Dillon’s silhouettes kissing behind the window curtain. Or does he just think that he does?

Tomorrow, Morgan tells Nell about seeing Dillon with Kiki, Alexis kicks Julian out of her house yet again, and Sonny explains to God that he has to take action.

Little Women: LA

We beat the dead horse that is Tonya having said that it would be easier on Briana to have a little baby. Terra believes it made her seem like she thought that about all of them, even though Tonya has insisted she was being specific. Tonya says if everyone is having a problem with her thoughts, she’ll leave and they can get their zen back.

Briana says you don’t think like that about your friends. Terra follows Tonya outside. Tonya says she gets Briana, but not everyone else, and doesn’t understand why Terra had to tell everyone. Her comment has become a telephone game and sounds different each time it’s repeated by someone else. Tonya says Briana doesn’t have the best environment or support, but the way Terra delivered it was wrong. She never questioned that a little person couldn’t raise an average sized child. Terra thinks Tonya should talk to Briana. She says she will, but not now.

Autumn is giving her grandmother a make-over. Christy pitches in. Sharyn isn’t thrilled with the results, but tells Autumn she loves her. They talk about Autumn’s medical issues. The doctor thinks she might have a thyroid and hormone issue. Autumn goes upstairs for a nap.

Sharyn asks Christy if the girls know what she’s going through. She says some of them know, but she did blow up at them. We flash back to the debacle on the yacht where Christy insulted everyone. In her interview, Christy thinks some of the girls need to apologize to her. I think she should get therapy and/or find a new set of friends.

Joe and Terra are in the process of packing. In five days, they’re going to find out what kind of baby they’re going to have. They won’t know if the baby will be average or have dwarfism until it’s born and Terra has Dancing with the Stars coming up three weeks after her c-section. Since the seller moved out late, everything is in a time crunch.

Terra says she overheard Joe talking about a show in Tijuana. She asks him when he’s leaving and when he’s coming back. He says he’ll be leaving three days before the baby is born and back two days before. Terra feels like she did before their wedding. He says he’s talking to the person who agreed to doing DWTS five minutes after she has the baby. She says she knows the timing isn’t the best, but being the first little person to do the show, she felt she couldn’t turn it down. She says babies don’t always happen on the scheduled date and it’s not the same thing.

Joe and his band are leaving for Mexico, so Terra is making contingency plans. She’s rehired Grandma Olevia to watch Penny when she goes to go to the hospital. Olevia understands Joe taking the gig, since he’s going to have more Pampers to buy. She asks about how Penny’s development is going and Terra says she’s a bit behind in the walking department. I’m not much of a baby person, but Penny is the one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.

Olevia leaves and Penny is down for a nap, so Terra and Joe talk. She isn’t thrilled with Joe leaving and he tells her to trust that everything will be fine. She says if he’s not there, she gets to pick whatever name she wants, but he says she is anyway. He tells her he’ll have his phone with him at all times and leaves for the airport. Or car. Or however he’s going.

Elena’s relatives have to go back to Russia. Elena talks to her mother about how difficult it is to have twins, but how much fun it is too. The babies are growing at different rates and since they haven’t done any genetic testing yet, they’re not sure if either has dwarfism. She hates to see her mother go.

Terra tells us that she and Tonya weren’t in a good place after belly-dancing, but since Joe has to leave, Tonya has stepped up as her BFF and is going to her pre-op appointment. Tonya says she’ll apologize to Briana, but she shouldn’t have to apologize to anyone else. She needs for Briana to understand where she’s coming from, and not Terra’s version, but she’s not going to be fake. Tonya is wearing some wild blue lipstick that matches her top. Normally, I’m not keen on that color, but I like what she’s got going on.

The doctor measures Terra’s belly and thinks the kid is going to be huge. Terra wants ot keep her placenta. She discusses the options for ingesting it. They decide raw is best, and Tonya looks like she wants to die. In her interview, Tonya says you can tell she’s an old bitch because this totally grosses her out. Terra also tells the doctor that one of her breasts is leaking blood. He asks how much, and she tells him it leaked through a band-aid. She says it happened when she was breastfeeding, but this is prior to the baby being born, and breast cancer runs in her family.

The doctor checks it out. He thinks it’s a benign condition. Not normal or common, but probably nothing to worry about. He suggests it be dealt with later.

Tonya invites Jasmine and Briana over to make a casserole for Terra. Jasmine asks how Terra is doing without Joe. Tonya tells them about the doctor’s appointment. Jasmine says Terra is pretty strong, so if she’s worried about something, you know it’s something to be worried about. Tonya tells Briana she wasn’t trying to attack her character as a mom. She felt that at the time, the way Matt was treating her, it wasn’t the best environment. She says Briana is an excellent mother and says she’s sorry. In her interview, Jasmine says Briana wasn’t the only one who was offended. Jasmine tells Tonya it’s good of her to apologize, but wonders if Tonya understands why she and Terra were upset. Tonya says she wasn’t talking about a little person, but the dynamic of Briana’s household. I don’t get why Jasmine and Terra don’t understand that.

Jasmine, who feels like she’s getting bigger by the second, meets Christy for lunch. Christy wants help in making peace with the girls. Christy tells Jasmine about Autumn’s thyroid being out of whack. Jasmine says she was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when she was younger and it’s hard for a doctor to determine a medication dosage for a little person. She asks how Christy’s dad is, and Christy tells her the cancer hasn’t spread. She asks how Christy is coping, and says she doesn’t seem like herself. Christy says she lost her sh*t at Elena’s party because she’s tired of the girls bullying her. Jasmine says it was bad to see how evil Christy is getting and she can’t deal with the name calling. Christy asks for help in fixing it, and says she needs a friend. Jasmine says she can only help so much.

Joe returns. Terra thought he wouldn’t make it back from Tijuana. She says she couldn’t imagine having the baby without him. She packs for the hospital and he asks how the pre-op appointment went. She says they’ll talk later, but wants to discuss the delivery plan. She’s having a one-touch spinal, which she feels is the safest option for little people. She wants Joe to be in full when-is-Terra-gonna-hold-the-baby mode, since it was a while before she held Penny. She wants everything she didn’t have the first time around. Joe says sometimes things don’t go to plan, even though he likes the positivity. There’s that word that doesn’t exist again.

Next stop, baby. Terra is looking forward to being a family of four. She’s curious as to what Penny will think and Joe says, look, another baby. Ha-ha! Terra says they’ve agreed on names, but Joe says it’s just penciled in, not set in stone.

Terra makes a video for the baby to watch one day. She asks what Joe thinks it’s going to be. He says he’s used to girls and he’ll freak if he sees a penis. Joe is a little worried, but says Terra will be fine. The doctor has warned them that she might need a blood transfusion during the c-section. Joe says he doesn’t remember being this nervous last time. They exchange I love yous. He talks about feeling better since he lost weight. He says he wants to be a better guy for her and the babies. They kiss.

Terra starts being affected by the anethesia and says she’s having a hard time breathing. The doctor says once the baby is out she’ll feel better. Joe says it seems like she’s in more pain and the delivery seems more dangerous than the first time. Here it comes! Terra says she’s in pain and asks for Joe’s hand.

The baby is out and it’s a boy! Everyone applauds. Joe is worried about Terra because she’s in so much more pain than she was with Penny. The nurse instructs her how to breathe. Terra says she feels weak, but the nurse tells her it’s just the medicine. She says her stomach hurts and the doctor says it’s probably because the uterus is out. Joe says this isn’t for the faint of heart. I agree and I’m just watching it on TV. He cuts the umbilical cord.

Joe says it’s unreal. He says baby boy has an average sized head, so they don’t know whether he’s a dwarf or average, but either way he’s putting shoulder pads on and playing football. The baby is 7 pounds, 10 ounces. Terra says it’s like they have a fresh start. She says it’s a blessing that the baby isn’t starting off life in an incubator. Terra is thrilled it’s a boy. A boy with a big set of lungs. Wow, that kid can holler.

Next time, Briana goes to a shooting range because she doesn’t feel safe, Terra cries about the baby’s name, and Elena doesn’t want to invite Christy somewhere because she’s afraid of another conflict.

October 4, 2016 – GH’s Paul has a Plan, ILYIW’s Lushion is the Man & Below Deck Gets a New Deckhand

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly asks Sonny if he’s sure the call he took is from the warehouse. He says she’s been giving him the cold shoulder, so what’s up? She wants to know if he’s lying to her. He says he already told her that if anything happens to Julian, it won’t have anything to do with him.

Ava finds Scotty in a dive bar. She says he was supposed to pick her up on the way to court. She wonders if he’s going back on his promise to represent Paul. Scotty says it’s not like Paul is going anywhere.

Jordan visits Paul in his cell. She wanted to see him in custody with her own eyes. She says when she’s done with him, he’s going to wish he’d spent the morning alone.

Claudette sees Griff at the diner. He wants to know about the man she’s been trying to get away from.

Nathan confirms that Valentin is still in prison. He tells Maxie that he can see his daughter now.

Curtis tells Nina he’s not having much luck finding a baby for her. She says she has another great idea. She’s not just thinking outside the box, but outside the country, and wants to make a child’s life better. Curtis says she can’t just swoop in like Angelina Jolie. Nina says she’s not trying to, but their motives are the same. She tells Curtis that kids are dying in camps and she wants him to broker a deal.

Nell works her cell phone at the bar, trying to score Shawn Mendes tickets for Carly to surprise Josslyn with on her birthday. She finally has success and Kiki says no wonder Carly hired her. Kiki sees Michael and calls him over to tell him the good news, but he’s bummed about Paul being the one who murdered Sabrrrina.

Carly tells Sonny there’s a difference between telling the literal truth and being honest. Are we talking about a sin of omission here? Morgan comes downstairs and Sonny asks what happened to him.

Jordan says Paul was so annoyed at his own incompetence and inability to protect someone he loved, he took it out on innocent people. She tells him that he’s the worst kind of bully. Jordan leaves, and Scotty and Ava come in through the revolving guest door at the jail.

Griff says there have already been too many secrets and Claudette tells him the man is Valentin Cassadine. He asks how she got mixed up with him.

Maxie says Nathan might be jumping the gun. She says they only have Claudette’s word that the hair was from her daughter. Nathan says he can double-check once Charlotte gets there.

Morgan says he was cramming with some guys. Carly asks why he smells like smoke and he says one of the other guys smokes. Yeah, that’s what I used to tell my father too. He goes to take a shower and Carly asks Sonny how much studying he thinks they did. Sonny says none. Sonny gets a call and it’s the dean telling him that Morgan was expelled. Sonny tells the dean that if Morgan did something to break the rules, he has to face the consequences, but thanks him for his help. Sonny tells Carly about Morgan getting caught cheating. Morgan comes back downstairs and Sonny yells at him, asking when he was going to tell them he was expelled.

Curtis says Nina can’t buy a foreign baby. Nina says he knows the baby will be the most precious thing to her. He says he has a sliding scale when it comes to right and wrong, but this is wrong. Nina says she turned Crimson around with her ideas and she’ll handle this too.

Michael says he can’t wrap his head around this right now, using an incredibly dated expression for one so young. Kiki goes into the hallway to call Dillon. Nell asks Michael what he’s going to do.

Ava tells Paul that Scotty is his representation, and Scotty says he’ll represent anyone for a price. He’ll do everything in his power to get Paul a not guilty verdict. He says he did get Julian off. Paul doesn’t question his legal prowess, but doesn’t need his skills. He already has a a lawyer.

Nathan tells Maxie that he’s definitely going to double-check the paternity, but he doesn’t want Charlotte to get hurt. He remembers all the changes he went through when he found out that Madelyn wasn’t his mother. He says if Charlotte is his daughter, he wants her to know she’s loved and wanted. Maxie says he’s so good with Georgie, he’s going to make a great dad. Nathan tells her he loves and appreciates her. They kiss. She suggests they take it to the bedroom, but Nina comes in saying they need to talk.

Claudette tells Griff that when Charlotte was born, she was completely overwhelmed. She got a neighbor to babysit and put on her high heels and slinkiest dress and went out to a nightclub. She felt like her old self again, walking past the velvet rope and right into the club. She tripped going in and suddenly a handsome man was carrying her. He didn’t leave her side all night, and the champagne kept flowing. The next day, there were photos of them in the paper, calling him her knight in shining armor. She says they weren’t wrong, but Valentin changed. Okay, let me stop here. No one even knew Valentin existed until five minutes ago, yet he was on the society pages of a New York City paper? Okay.

Maxie tells Nathan to remind her to get her spare key back. Nina wants Maxie’s wedding planner so they can get a move on. Nina suggest they get a helicopter to fly overhead, so it’s like a celebrity wedding with paparazzi. Maxie says they haven’t done too much planning, since they have other things on their minds. Nina wants to know what.

Charlotte says Valentin went from attentive to suffocating to controlling. He wasn’t physically abusive, but could intimidate her with a look or a gesture. When she tried to leave he told her he’d kill her and her daughter. And her little dog too.

Curtis sees Jordan at the station. He gives her a lottery ticket. He reminds her of when they were partners, and when one of them had a victory or win, the other bought them a lottery ticket. Jordan says he was the one who made the original observation that it was probably someone right under their noses, and it was good police work. He asks if that will get him back on the force.

Paul wants the best lawyer he knows – himself. We know what they say about that. Ava tells Scotty he can leave. Scotty tells Paul he’ll be having his stuff moved into Paul’s old office today, and to enjoy the prison cuisine. He leaves and Paul says he knows a bribe when he sees one. He asks Ava what she really wants.

Morgan asks how Sonny found out. Sonny says the dean called, apologizing that he couldn’t do anything. Morgan says he had a paper due and couldn’t concentrate. He knew how much trouble they went through to get him into school, and didn’t want them to know he screwed up. He says the meds and sessions aren’t working. Sonny says it takes time, but Morgan explodes, saying he’s never going to get better and they might as well accept the fact that he’s always going to be like this. He storms out and Sonny tells Carly to let him go.

Claudette tells Griff that she had to find Nathan because their daughter was in danger. She says Valentin said if she told anyone, he’d kill them. She says she knew deep down that Nathan was Charlotte’s father, but she wishes Charlotte was their daughter.

Nathan tells Nina about Charlotte. Nina says she can’t believe it, and he’d be the best father ever. Nathan says Claudette got involved with a criminal and had reason to hide her. He says he found out the guy is in prison, so he can see Charlotte now. Nina says, then what?

Michael tells Nell that Teddy’s life was flipped upside down because of Paul. Nell says she can’t imagine why he did it, but tells Michael to take comfort in that Paul was caught and he’ll pay for what he did

Ava wants the flash drive. She says she’s offering Paul his freedom in exchange for hers. Paul says what if he didn’t get acquitted; how fair would that be? Ava says he did things to protect his daughter and she’s done questionable things to protect hers. If she goes to jail, who’s going to protect them? What I’m wondering is why does he even need the flash drive at this point?

Jordan tells Curtis that it’s the details that are important. During a sting, he took off to score. A case was blown because he was using. He says it was only surveillance and nothing was supposed to go down, and he screwed up. They were supposed to be partners, but she turned him in.

Carly says Andre told her Morgan has been showing up for all his sessions and he’s been scheduled for blood work. Sonny thinks a piece is missing. He says maybe Morgan wasn’t ready for school. Carly says what if he’s never ready? Sonny tells her that just because Morgan’s bipolar is taking longer to deal with than his, doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed; he just needs more time. Carly says she thought things were going better, but he’s not even out of the woods yet.

Kiki leaves a message for Dillon. Morgan hears her and says she has time for Dillon, but didn’t for him last night. Kiki asks what his problem is. He says his girlfriend is calling another guy, but couldn’t be bothered with him. She asks if he knows that Dillon’s father is the hospital killer. She says she called Morgan back after her shift but he didn’t call her. He tells her he was kicked out of school.

Sonny tells Carly there’s nothing worse than watching your kid be in pain, but he knows from experience that Morgan has to do the work himself. He says Morgan will get through it, because they’ll be beside him every step of the way. It will just take time. Carly knows he’s right, but it’s killing her to watch him struggle. He promises that Morgan will have a healthy happy life.

Nathan says now that he knows Charlotte is his daughter, he’s never taking his eyes off of her. Nina asks if Charlotte is going to live with them, and Nathan says yes. Maxie says Claudette might have something to say about that, and Nathan says joint custody then Nina tells him a child can put a strain on the relationship, and he should think about it, but she has a perfect solution. Yep. Smelled this coming.

Claudette says the love she had for Griff wasn’t a sin and she isn’t a terrible person. He doesn’t think she’s a terrible person, but he makes terrible decisions.

Jordan doesn’t regret turning Curtis in. He says for one mistake, and asks if her career couldn’t absorb one mess up. She says she tried everything to get him to quit and nothing worked  She wasn’t worried about her career, but his life, and the lives of those around him. She says all they were gong to do was put him on suspension while he went to rehab, but he wouldn’t play ball. He says she did it for his own good then?

Paul says he lost himself in trying to make things right for Susan. Ava doesn’t condone his actions, but she understands his motives. He says he was a bully, nothing more, and deserves to be punished. He says it’s almost a relief, and he thinks the same might be true for her.

Michael talks to Nell about Julian getting acquitted. She says but he was prosecuted by Paul, another criminal. Michael says what’s to stop the next DA from letting Paul go? He says everyone was pursuing their own interests, and now it’s his turn.

Jordan says all she wanted was for Curtis to get straight and get back on the job. He says he’s been clean for years, but she says she doesn’t trust him. He tells her that he’s not the same man. She asks how he knows that. He tells her apparently she can’t see it, so play the lottery ticket before her luck runs out.

Claudette tells Griff that it’s time for Nathan to meet Charlotte.

Nina says she’ll take Charlotte.

Kiki asks Morgan what happened. He says he was going to tell her last night, but she didn’t have time. He adds that she’s looking at him like his mom does. He tells her to save her sympathy for someone who needs it.

Michael tells Nell that he’s going to get justice for Sabrrrina and leaves. Nell calls Sonny. She tells him that Michael was upset about Paul, and she’s afraid of what he might do.

Ava says Paul’s mission is accomplished; his daughter is safe, but hers are vulnerable. He says they’re convenient for her. She plays the mommy card to justify murder. She says if he ever cared about her, don’t do this; don’t send her to prison. Jordan comes in and says his arraignment is scheduled. Paul says he has to tell her something.

At the end, there’s a tribute to Agnes Nixon, the creator of One Life to Live, All My Children and Loving, who recently passed away. When I was a little girl and learning soap life at my Aunt Mary’s knee, I wrote to Ms. Nixon. One Life to Live had a plotline about drug addiction where they were using actual recovering addicts. I was impressed by it, and thought it would also help others, and I told her so. This kind lady wrote me back, thanking me and saying a little something. Alas, I no longer have the letter, but the fact that she took the time to write back to me has always stayed with me, and gives you a glimpse into her character.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Michael not to throw everything away for Paul, Ned comes back, and Andre asks Morgan if there’s a good reason he’s risking his life.

If Loving You is Wrong

Marcie cracks a bottle over Brad’s head. His ear is bleeding and he asks why she did this. She grabs a big kitchen knife and he asks what he did. She asks him what he did. She tells him to back up, grabs her bag, and leaves. Brad keeps yelling, what’s happening? and holds a paper towel to his head.

Lushion is still at the hospital with Natalie. Esperanza dashes in and Lushion tells her Joey was in a shootout with some thug. He’s going to get something to calm Natalie down. Natalie tells Esperanza the hospital isn’t telling her anything. She says they’re trying to stabilize Joey so they can ship him somewhere else. She says she told him to stay away from the corner. She says Joey had a gun and violated his probation, so if he recovers, he’s going to jail. Esperanza tells her it’s going to be okay. Natalie says it’s not, and Joey’s father should be helping her. Joey is a man-child whose been raised in the ghetto. She says she tried, but she couldn’t do it. She starts to freak out and Lushion comes running over. He gives her something from the nurse, but she says she doesn’t want to be numb, she wants to be angry. Pulling herself together, she says she was so young when she got pregnant and made so many mistakes. Things she would never do with the other kids, and she wishes she knew then what she knows now. You and me both, sista.

She goes on about the things she tried to teach Joey. She says she was worried about him being shot by a policeman like Eddie, but he was shot by a thug on the block. She tells Lushion she’s tired. He says he’s there and gives her the medication. He says he knows she’s tired and angry, but he’s there, so lean on him. Natalie tells him to promise Joey will pull through. Lushion says he promises they love him and that they’ll pray for him. He promises that Joey has a fight in him that he got from her, and he loves the both of them. He promises no matter what happens, he’ll be there for them. Lushion is the best. Natalie takes the medication. He wipes the tears from her face. Esperanza thanks him for being the man that he is. She has to leave, but says she’ll be back. She tells Lushion she’ll text him about some other stuff later. Damn. They almost had me crying.

Scumbag Eddie goes to Ben’s desk and asks him if he went through the database. Ben says if Eddie doesn’t think he did a good job, go look for himself. Eddie says Ben f-ed up and I go, wait a second, can you say that on this station? Or did someone just f-up? Eddie grabs Ben’s injured hand and tells him to look again. Ben says Andrew is watching everything. Eddie says he’s got this and tells Andrew to get over here. He says Andrew has a call. Andrew says no he doesn’t. Eddie tells him to look at his monitor. He points out some bogus thing on Ben’s monitor. He asks if Andrew is cut out for this job, since he didn’t notice it.

Andrew leaves and Eddie tells Ben to get back in there. Eddie tells him to watch his mouth and Ben gets snarky, saluting him and calling him the boss. I laugh.

Kelly lingers on the sidewalk outside her house. Marcie runs up and asks what’s happening. Kelly says Louise was hurt, the baby is missing, and Louise said it was Brad. Marcie can’t believe it and Kelly tells her to talk to the police. Kelly calls Steven over and introduces them. Marcie asks where Randal is, but Steven says they don’t know. He shows her a picture of Alex and Randal and he asks if it’s a recent photo. Marcie says yes, and he talks about the “it’s a boy” sign and the light bulb comes on over his head. He starts asking Marcie where she was, and she says she wants to know what’s going on. Kelly asks what he’s trying to pull and he says he was just asking questions. He tells Marcie that according to her mother-in-law, Brad beat Louise up and kidnapped the baby. He asks Marcie if this is something Brad could do and she says she doesn’t know. He asks if she knows where Brad is and she hesitates, but tells Steven he’s at the apartment that they share together and gives him the address. He asks for permission to search and she gives it. She says Brad came in about an hour ago and she hasn’t seen him all day. She asks if Randal is going to be all right and Steven says he doesn’t know.

Kelly asks Marcie if she thinks Brad could have done this, but she doesn’t know what to think. Kelly needs to go back to Alex’s house because the kids are there. Marcie doesn’t want to because she blames Alex for all this

The nurse wheels Pete past Lushion and he asks where they’re taking him. She says they’re going to a more secure part of the hospital. Lushion asks if Pete remembers anything and tells him he got shot. Pete asks by who, but Lushion was hoping Pete could tell him. Pete says he can’t remember. Lushion asks if he remembers anything, but the nurse tells him to back off a little. Pete starts to cry and Lushion says he’s looking good and he’ll see him later. Hmm…moving him. That could be good or bad. Natalie remembers Pete giving her the bag and asks if he’s going to be okay, but Lushion says Joey is their main focus.

Brad throws away the bloody paper towels. His phone is ringing. He doesn’t answer and puts it in his pocket.

Eddie arrives at Brad’s house. The officer says it’s pretty bad and Eddie asks if there are any bodies. The officer says they took an old lady to the hospital. Steven asks what he’s doing there and Eddie says checking out the crime scene and enjoying it, which Steven finds really weird. Eddie says the guy who once tried to sue the department lives here, and Steven tells him all the more reason to get out. He tells Eddie not to touch anything and Eddie touches stuff deliberately because he’s five. Steven says outranks Eddie and Eddie says think about how he got his rank. They go back and forth for a while. Steven makes a crack about ladies underwear and tells Eddie not to test his patience. He finally gives Eddie the bum’s rush out the door. How this guy doesn’t get a smack across the face every five minutes is beyond me.

Esperanza asks Eddie what he’s doing there. He says the primary care giver of his child isn’t home and his daughter is in a house next to a crime scene. Esperanza is like, oh, now Eddie wants to be a father. She tells Steven he’s Eddie’s boss and tell him to get out. Steven asks if she can identify some photos for him. She tells Eddie to wipe the stupid smile off his face and he asks if she’s leaving him for Steven because he has the IQ of a rock.

Marcie acts like a two-year-old, getting loud and flinging herself around in Alex’s house. Kelly tells her to knock it off. Marcie says she needs someone to blame. Kelly says give it time and Marcie says she has, but it’s still there and blah-blah-blah Alex slept with her husband. Yeah? Well, your husband is a raging lunatic who deserves to be in the box he’s in right now, so you should thank her. Kelly tells her the kids are there and Marcie says she doesn’t care about Alex’s kids. Kelly tells her that her son is there too, and to calm down or leave.

Travis calls Kelly. He leaves a voicemail saying she’s ignoring him and he doesn’t like being made a fool of. He doesn’t like the position she’s put him in. Being a stalker?

Kelly ignores the call. Marcie asks who it is and Kelly says nothing important. Travis calls again and says she thinks he’s some kind of kid that she can ignore. He says he’s going to keep calling and calling and calling until she picks up. He calls her a selfish and inconsiderate bitch. He immediately calls back, saying he doesn’t know why he did that, he’s sorry, and please call him back. Then he calls again and says he hates her. He keeps calling like he’s two different people. He asks if he can come by and see Justice. He asks if she’s with the guy next door. He crys, he yells, he has fantasies about being with her, he apologizes.

Marcie says someone is really trying to get in touch with Kelly. She says she doesn’t want to talk to them. Marcie asks if it’s Alex and she says no. Marcie says Alex had everything and had to come looking in her backyard. Kelly says it takes two and Marcie says it takes four, because she and Brad didn’t know. Kelly says now you know, and Marcie gets pissed, asking how she can be so nonchalant. Kelly says she’s not going to be in the middle anymore and she just wants to make sure the baby is safe.

Marcie asks what about Randal, and Kelly says him too. Marcie says Kelly doesn’t care. Kelly says she does, but what’s obvious is that Marcie cares more than she’s letting on. Marcie says she still loves Randal and starts to cry. Kelly says he’s her husband and of course she loves him. Marcie says she hopes he’s somewhere getting his ass kicked for what he did, but part of her hopes he’s okay. Seriously, he’s full-blown batsh*t crazy. Just move on. And not with Brad either.

Kelly says she noticed the look on Marcie’s face when Steven was asking her questions, and asks if she thinks Brad did this. Marcie says she doesn’t see it. Kelly says he was in the military and almost ripped Randal to shreds. Marcie wonders how she can be sure about any man. Randal made her doubt everything. Kelly asks her again and she says she doesn’t know. Kelly asks why she has that look then. Marcie says she saw mud on Brad’s shoes and what he told her didn’t sound true. She says the mud was red and there isn’t any red dirt where he said he was. Kelly says they have to tell the police. Marcie says what if she’s wrong, or worse, what if she’s right? Kelly insists, taking Marcie by the hand and bringing her outside.

Alex is driving while trying to use her phone and crying. She gets through to Brad. She says she needs him. He asks if the kids are okay. She says yes. He says don’t call him for anything else and hangs up. She calls again, but gets voicemail. She’s crying hysterically and continues to call. Suddenly, a deer is in front of the car. She swerves and crashes into a tree. To add insult to injury, a tree branch falls on the car.

Next time, Joey is in surgery, Brad talks to Eddie, Julius tempts Ben, and Kelly tells Esperanza about Travis.

Below Deck

Everyone has recovered from the 12-course tasting menu. Nico says Sierra broke down last night and is thinking of leaving. Kelley says she has to realize that Ben in the kitchen is brutal. Ben admits he was intense. Kate suggests he take Sierra aside and tell her she did a great job.

Sierra calls her mother, telling her how she flipped out because she was overwhelmed. In her interview, she claims to be thick-skinned, but needs positivity, which really isn’t even a word. And I think she folded pretty easily, besides not being totally on top of things.

Ben catches Sierra in the laundry room and asks if they’re cool. She says they are, but doesn’t really look at him and concentrates on ironing. Lauren says she has a crush on Nico and thinks they’re flirting, but we know he’s in competition with Kelley for Emily’s attention. Kate is thrilled to have two stews that actually work, and gives them swimming time while the guests are ashore.

Two of the guests, the bald guy and the less bald guy, want to have a push up contest and they ask for bikini wax. I guess the loser gets waxed? The less bald guy wins and agrees to get some of his back waxed too. Kate gives instructions on how to do it and one of their companions does the honors. It looks pretty painful. Holy! Less bald guy is like a gorilla, he has so much hair. Drunk old guy asks to see Emily’s “V” and he doesn’t mean the 1980’s show. That’s so disgusting, I can’t even, but she takes it in stride.

Another amazing meal is produced by Chef Ben. When Kate serves the wine, she tells the guests they can try other options and even more drunk old guy says he’ll try her too. WTF? She can’t wait for them to leave. Ben thinks it’s an easy evening. No 12-course dinner and no tears in the galley.

The girls laugh about the wax strips of hair. Kate irons it (?) and they’re going to present it to the guests (??). Ben tells her to do it after the tip. It’s time to dock and Nico says the guy on the dock is moving like a turtle. Captain Lee swears the docks are getting smaller.

Kate presents bald guy with the wax art. It’s been made into a poster on dowel rods. Asian guy gives Captain Lee the tip. It looks like a brown bag lunch and I hope there’s money in it and not back hair.

Captain Lee asks if the interior is doing better. He says everyone must have done well, because it’s $20,000, split ten ways, thanks to Trevor. Captain Lee says everyone can go out tonight. In her interview, Kate says she doesn’t know what’s going on between Lauren and Nico, but she believes Nico is thinking friend zone and Lauren didn’t get the memo.

The next primaries are Mark and Heidi, with two daughters each from previous marriages. Nothing to see here, no weirdos. There’s also a new deckhand coming. The captain says he’s kind of green.

Kate and Ben discuss the difference between “love you” and “I love you.” Everyone gets ready to go out. Lauren seems miffed that Nico is flirting with Emily on the boat to the mainland. The crew goes to a really nice cafe and piano bar. The drinking commences. Nico notices that something is up with Lauren, but he’s too stupid to know what, so she ignores him. After dinner Kate suggests they go make bad decisions.

Nico asks Ben about Lauren and Ben says obviously she likes him, but it will blow over. Lauren talks to Kelley on the way to the club or whatever it is. Emily thinks Nico is an interesting character and attractive. Lauren is stumbling around the beach and Kelley sends Nico out to look after her. She blows him off. Kelley claims sake gives you a clean hangover, whatever that means. Lauren tells Nico she can’t talk to him right now. Kelley takes the opportunity to tell Emily that Nico has a girlfriend, whether he does or not.

Back at the Valor, everyone heads to bed. Nico tries to hit on Sierra, but it’s a no, and I think she has hiccups. She tells Kate he tried to kiss her, which she finds hysterically funny. Nico moves on to Emily and tells her he thinks she’s attractive. Emily says he has a girlfriend and she’s not like that. He says it was months ago and she says not according to Kelley, and she’s going to bed, but not with him.

Nico wakes up alone and with his clothes still on. Emily and Sierra compare notes on Nico. Sierra says she thought he was getting on with Lauren. Nico tells Kelley he cares about Lauren, but not that way. In his interview, Kelley says no matter how much you think a girl is “a bro,” she’s not. Girls catch feelings. Very astute of him.

New deckhand Kyle arrives. We need subtitles because his British accent is so thick. Captain Lee has Kelley get him settled in. In his interview, Kyle says yachting is a better choice than the fishing trawlers he was on – there’s women on the boat and it’s not deadly. Ben says he can barely understand Kyle and he’s from England. Kyle meets everyone. Nico apologizes to Emily, saying he was a little drunk. She tells him it wasn’t cool to try to get with the easiest girl, but asks how his head is.

Nico thinks things are weird between him and Lauren and they need to fix it. Kate thinks no matter what, these guests will be better than the last group. Kelley wants Lauren to make a list of all the water toys with Nico, and the girls tell her how he tried to kiss both of them. Lauren says he’s not the guy she thought he was.

Nico asks if everything is all right between him and Lauren. He says he was super drunk and says the “we were all drunk” thing that I hate. No, it was you that was insensitive in the first place. He says she was ignoring him, but she says they’re cool and she’ll get over it. Everyone gets ready for the next guests.

Kate does the tour. I love this boat. Kyle is working out well and Kelley is happy. The guests are easy-going and not very demanding. Kyle says Sierra has the Alaskan face and he’s a Viking. What?

Ben is going to truffle-ize the hell out of the potato salad, which sounds scary. Lunch is served and it’s time to set up the water toys. Kate is surprised the parents are letting their daughters drink so much. She’d like them to remember their vacation, and decides to lighten the drinks.

Kyle has been helping with the water toys and suddenly dislocates his shoulder. That was quick.

Next time, Kate’s girlfriend Ro arrives, Kyle hits on Emily, Kate’s concerned about the guests’ alcohol consumption (and rightly so), and Captain Lee has it out with Kelley over some dirty windows.

October 3, 2016 – GH is For Sale & in the OC, Candles & a Book Set Sail

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn tells Hayden that he’s in luck. His friend, Travis, is working security at GH. Travis’s mother had needed medical care they couldn’t afford, and Finn helped them. Now Travis is going to turn a blind eye to him sneaking in to use some research equipment. Hayden is concerned about the killer, but Finn doesn’t think a serial killer is going to be hanging out where there are no people. He says he’ll be fine. Hayden agrees because she’s going with him

Ava tells Kiki to remember what happened when Sonny stopped taking his meds. She says Morgan will have to take medication for the rest of his life, and Kiki is going to have to make sure he’s disciplined, which doesn’t come naturally to him. She doesn’t understand why Kiki wants to settle for a man with a mental illness. Franco interrupts and tells her to knock it off. Ava says she just wants to spare Kiki pain. She says Morgan will hurt her again, but she’ll always be there to help her pick up the pieces.

Morgan goes to see Andre in his temporary office. Morgan says he’s losing it big time. All he keeps thinking is about going back to Freedman, where he says he was anything but free. He tells Andre he’ll run away before he goes back. Andre tells him to slow his roll.

Paul tells Dillon to go away. Dillon says he’s not going anywhere until Paul lets Tracy go.

Morgan tells Andre some “stuff went down.” (How thug life of him.) His parents and Kiki know about some things, and some they don’t. Andre asks what they know about. Morgan tells Andre that he got in a couple of fights. He says he punched Joe Rivera when he wanted to take Teddy, and he’d also attacked Julian after the trial. Andre says he’s not going to minimize things – Morgan could go to jail for assault – but the upside is that he came to see his doctor. He asks what Morgan was thinking. Morgan says he thought he could make the world right if he beat them to a pulp. Andre asks if he stopped himself or someone else stopped him.

Franco asks Kiki what Morgan did this time. Kiki says Ava still blames Morgan for her getting shot . Franco says the whole thing was pretty awful. He doesn’t want to give her a lecture, but says she’s possibly not safe. He’s fine with the relationship though. If he tells her to run from Morgan, he should tell Elizabeth to run away from him.

Dillon asks what Tracy has to do with Susan. Paul says she caught him talking to Susan about the killings. He tells Dillon the system failed Susan, so he had to fix things. Dillon gets loud and asks what kind of man does that, and says that Susan wouldn’t agree with his methods. He says when she finds out that he did all this in her name, she’s not going to want him as a father – no more than Dillon does.

Ava consults Spyder-Finder about the dangers of not taking bipolar meds. Scotty knocks at the door, saying he’s there to pay his debt, since she let him crash there, and she calls him a freeloader. He says he doesn’t want that title associated with the Baldwin name, and she might take him more seriously with some cash. He gives her an envelope and she asks if he robbed a bank. He says his success with Julian’s trial has brought in business, and plays his new rap commercial for her on his phone. She says he’s truly unforgettable, and he says he takes it as a compliment whether she means it that way or not. He tells her that he knows who the suspect is in the hospital killings. He says it’s someone she knows well and no one would figure out – it’s Paul.

Hayden thinks the hospital is creepy all empty and in the dark. She and Finn hear voices and hide. It’s Lucy and a board member. Lucy says until he called, she didn’t know GH was for sale.

Morgan tells Andre that he’s taking his meds and he had a heart to heart with his dad. Andre asks if there have been any changes to his routine. Morgan tells him about going back to school and how he stupidly cheated. He’s afraid that he’s been caught, since he got a call to come to the office and there’s a zero tolerance policy. He doesn’t know how he’s going to tell his parents. He shows Andre the necklace Carly gave him and he knows she’ll be disappointed. He’s afraid when Kiki finds out he lied, she’s going to break up with him.

Kiki says Morgan isn’t nearly as bad as Franco was. Franco says since his tumor was removed he’s only partially imbalanced, but Morgan is bipolar forever. Kiki says as long as he takes his meds, he can lead a normal life. Franco asks if she believes that, and she says right now she’s walking on egg shells trying not to set him off. Franco says it doesn’t sound like a great relationship. She asks him not to tell anyone, but sometimes she thinks, what about me? and wonders if this is the best Morgan is going to get.

Paul says he needed to get justice for Susan, and he can’t have Anna arrest him. Against Anna’s advice, Dillon moves toward Paul. I guess Paul is really out of his mind at this point, because whether he kills Tracy or not, it’s not like he can get away.

Scotty tells Ava they’re making quite a case against Paul. Ava says Scotty has to represent Paul and he has to win. He asks why she cares so much.

Lucy tells the board guy that if he can specify his needs, she can show him several other properties. She says GH isn’t for sale. He suggests the property can be repurposed as luxury condos.

Andre says Morgan’s parents and Kiki will probably be disappointed, but people make mistakes and it’s how you deal with them that matters. Morgan says every time he tried to write the paper, he got distracted. Andre says it happens, but Morgan says that’s not what he told everyone. He said everything was going great. Andre says maybe he jumped into school too soon. He thought they had a handle on Morgan’s meds, but it’s possible they need to be adjusted. Andre says he’s going to have to be responsible and admit his mistake.

Kiki says Morgan had been pushy and kind of needy, but overall he was loving, caring and kind. She says now everything is about Morgan, and she doesn’t know what happened to make him change. Franco says he thought Morgan made her happy. She says he does, most of the time. Franco says if it’s difficult to be with Morgan and it’s not the relationship she wants, she doesn’t have to stay in it. She says she loves Morgan, but hopes his mood swings even out. She wonders what people would think if she left him for being sick. Ask David Foster.

Ava says she’s hiring Scotty. She tells him that Paul being the killer wasn’t news to her. She discovered it and used the information to throw the trial. She says sorry it wasn’t Scotty’s skills that set Julian free, but he has a chance to be brilliant now by representing Paul.

Paul says Susan needs Dillon and they need to be a family. Dillon says Paul has a needle pointed at Tracy and she’s his family too. Dillon unties Tracy and gets her free. She asks Dillon how he found her. Dillon says Anna traced the phone call and told him. Anna tells Paul drop the syringe. Really. What is he going to do? Throw it at them? Dillon asks if Paul thinks killing someone else is going to help Susan, and if so, kill him.

Franco says he’s worried about Kiki. She says she just needed to vent, so don’t be. She asks how Elizabeth is doing and he says better. He’s hired professional, around-the-clock care for her. Kiki says he’s pulling out all the stops and asks if it’s working. He laughs and tells her it’s all good. He talks about Heather thinking he was the GH killer.

Andre tells Morgan it’s not the end of the world, but it’s clear that something is seriously wrong. Morgan is worried that he’ll have to go back to Freedman, but Andre says he thinks it’s the meds. He says Morgan needs to tell his parents and Kiki that he’s still experiencing the highs and lows of being bipolar. He wants Morgan to get some blood work done so they can get a handle on things. He asks for Morgan’s word that he’ll own up to his mistakes.

Scotty asks if Paul changed the numbers on the wire tap. Ava says yes. Scotty asks what about Alexis and if Paul slipped her a Mickey, and Ava says she doesn’t know what happened there. Scotty can’t believe she allowed Paul to continue killing to get both her and Julian off.

Dillon warns Paul to stay away from Tracy. Tracy tells him to let Anna handle it. Dillon says if Paul is going to kill anyone, it’s going to be him, and Paul tells him to stop saying that. Paul asks why Anna brought Dillon there. Anna says if anyone could talk sense into him, it’s his son. He acts like he and Anna were a team with her trying to kill Carrrlos and him killing Sloane. Anna says she’s not a serial killer, and if he doesn’t put the syringe down, she’s going to shoot him.

Tracy tells Paul to do what Anna’s telling him and Dillon agrees. Anna says she doesn’t want to be judge and jury, and wants Paul to have his day in court. She tells him to prove to his son he’s not a coward and do it for his kids. He tries to inject himself and Dillon grabs him.

Scotty is shocked that Ava would allow a serial killer to walk around town killing people. She says Julian is her brother and she believed Paul would stop once she knew. Scotty is like, you trusted a serial killer to do the right thing? He asks if Paul still has the flash drive and Ava says yes. She says she has her daughters to think of and Kiki is in trouble. She says Morgan is bipolar like his crazy father, and she thinks she made things more dangerous. Scotty asks what she did. He wonders what could be worse than letting a serial killer run loose. She says she might have replaced some of Morgan’s meds with a placebo. Ha-ha! Might have.

Morgan says he’s scared to face his parents and Kiki, but he’s glad he came. Andre asks if he’s going to tell the truth. Morgan says it won’t be easy, but he’s supposed to meet Kiki and he’s going to start with her. Andre says he’s there if Morgan needs him.

Kiki can’t believe that Heather would think Franco is the killer. He tells her she doesn’t have the market on creepy mothers. He says Heather turned him down for a loan, and Kiki wonders how Heather would have money. Franco explains abut Elizabeth and Hayden being sisters, and how Heather blackmailed Hayden’s mother. He says he’s completely broke, and now Hayden thinks he owes her money and wants him to pay up.

Lucy says GH is more than just a building – it’s a sanctuary, home, and family. She talks about the Nurses Ball and how they raise money and awareness for AIDS/HIV. She says Port Charles needs the hospital, and the board guy can’t tell her it’s going to be gone. Board guy says his associate plans to relocate GH to a different building. Lucy says if he can give his assurance that it’s not going to be gone, they’ll continue the tour.

Hayden asks Finn if he believes it. He says sure, a real estate mogul that cares about people. She says it’s going to happen before anyone has a chance to stop it.

Morgan calls Kiki, who says she texted him that she has to work. She asks if everything is okay. He says he’s fine, but just wanted to talk to her. She calls him “Captain,” and he says he likes that. I get distracted by her silver cascading earrings that look almost liquid. Franco jokes that he’ll fill in for her because he could use the tips.

Morgan calls up someone about a boat.

Scotty is like what? Ava says she thought if Kiki saw Morgan behaving erratically again, she’d get rid of him, but instead she got more protective. Ava says when Morgan was in the clinic, Kiki dated Dillon until Morgan pressured her. She says that Kiki still cares about Dillon, and if Morgan sees them, it will push him over the edge. Scotty says Morgan is unpredictable and what if he hurts someone?

Anna handcuffs Paul and reads him his rights. He wonders what’s going to happen to Susan and wants to see her. He begs Anna to let him talk to her. Dillon asks to have a word with Paul. Anna and Tracy step outside. Paul says he never meant to hurt Dillon. Dillon tells him to save his apologies for the families of the people he’s killed and Teddy, who will never know his mother. He says he‘ll going to take care of Susan. He hasn’t been the greatest brother, but now he’s going to step up to the plate. Not that Paul deserves anything, but his sister does. Paul thanks him. The cops come and Paul is taken away. Tracy hugs Dillon

Tomorrow, Griff asks Claudette about the man she’s hiding Charlotte from, Jordan tells Paul he’s going down, and Sonny asks Morgan when he was going to tell them he was expelled. Well, really he yells at Morgan.

The Real Housewives of the OC

It’s Meghan and Jim’s store opening cocktail party. Yawn. Their focus is candles, but the store sells clothing and jewelry and God only knows what else. It’s pretty, but nothing special. Shannon complains about moving. She sees that Vicki is there and tells Meghan that she called Vicki after the accident (yeah, after she realized Vicki wasn’t exaggerating), but there was no response. Seriously, what did she expect?

Meghan shows off her sonogram. She’s depressed because she’s only having one baby and was hoping for twins, but says the store has been a great distraction. She thanks everyone for coming and makes a little speech about Jimmy being an awesome candle maker.

Tamra asks Vicki if she’s talked to Shannon. She says no, and it’s not the appropriate place right now. Heather has to leave because all the scents are giving her a headache. Ha-ha! Great advertisement for the store. Shannon tells Meghan about calling Vicki and says she never heard back. Tamra eavesdrops and says she told Vicki to say thanks. Shannon says she’s pissed and wants to talk to Vicki. Apparently, she doesn’t care if the place is appropriate or not. She tells Vicki she wishes she’d responded to her voicemail and she’s glad Vicki is better. Vicki says this is messed up and let’s do this another time. In her interview, Vicki says Shannon just wants to save face. Shannon says she’s not going to get into what Vicki has been saying about David. She says his choice of words was inappropriate, but Vicki provoked him. We flash back to the 70s party. Vicki says she has nothing else to say and Shannon wasn’t there.

They get into who lied when and where and how. Jim tells them to take it outside, but they ignore him. In her interview, Vicki says she has some secrets of Shannon’s and Shannon had better stop pushing her. Shannon acts like an idiot. She’s just so annoying and so loud and so inappropriate. In her interview, she says Vicki is threatening her with empty threats. She tells Meghan and Tamra she’s never lied about anything, but Vicki lied about Brooks having cancer. Yeah, let’s give that d-bag more air time when he’s not even on the show anymore.

While out shopping with Tamra, Vicki gets her heel stuck in a crack and then loses her nipple cover. Don’t ask. We flash back to her and Tamra doing crazy stuff. They’re happy to be friends again. They talk about the launch party for Heather’s book and look for dresses. Vicki went to lunch with a new guy. She’s hesitant to bring a new man around because she thinks the girls might research his background. She says she has some great men in her life right now, and Tamra asks if she wants her to check them out. They try on outfits. Tamra notices that Vicki has a hickey. (Sorry, I couldn’t stop that from rhyming.) Are we in middle school? I always thought that was so stupid, even back then. Like, what’s the point?

Shannon and her daughters are looking for an organic mattress. For someone who is so concerned about toxins and feng shui and whatnot, she’s the tightest wound person I’ve ever seen. Shannon complains to David about Vicki calling her a liar. She says she had no issues with Vicki until now. What? She wonders if Vicki thinks she lies, why hasn’t she told anyone about the lie? Um…maybe she doesn’t want to embarrass you? Perhaps all those crazy treatments from Dr. Moon have affected her brain.

Tamra tells Vicki that Shannon said she’s never lied. Vicki says everyone lies. Tamra says Kelly also told her that Vicki has something on Shannon, but she doesn’t want to know. Sure she doesn’t. Vicki says if Shannon pushes the wrong button, it’s not going to go well. Oooh, inquiring minds do want to know.

Kelly and Michael go to the beach. He says he’s dehydrated from last night. She says lately they’ve been arguing a lot and suggests they not do it in front of their daughter. She thinks when they drink, they fight more, and they need to work out their problems. We flash back to Vicki telling her she needs to fix it, and in her interview, Kelly says Michael is 58 and he’s not going to change, so she needs to accept it or not. She tells him they both say mean things to each other and she doesn’t want their daughter growing up thinking it’s okay. Michael says it doesn’t have to be like this, and when they were separated, they missed each other. She says she doesn’t understand why he wants to fight. He says that’s not a solution, but they could use “us” time, and he needs to take more initiative. He says he’ll try to do better with that. She says they’re both control freaks and difficult. Michael says “D squared,” because he’s so clever.

Jim and Meghan cook dinner. Meghan says on a scale of one to Bobby Flay, she’s a two. She tells Jim the baby is messing with her big time and has made her really sad. She claims to know it’s a girl. In her interview, she says she’s been seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication for depression for a while. She says the doctor said most people are happy during their early pregnancy. Last year she was a newlywed, now she’s pregnant, and since she doesn’t see Jim all that much, she wants it to be positive. She seems to have a problem cooking frozen peas and pasta, which I actually make all the time. It’s not that hard. Jim says the last step is, when you’re done, call In & Out Burger.

Vicki is taping a commercial for Kill All Cancer. They have her walk into her kitchen as though she’s just coming home, then she reads from the teleprompter. This takes several tries because of Vicki messing up or the phone ringing or some other interruption. She thinks working with a cancer charity will prove she has nothing to hide and she doesn’t care if the girls believe it or not.

Heather visits Shannon. She brings a salt block for cooking. A question mark is over my head, since I thought that was something deer ate from. Heather asks Shannon what happened after she left. Shannon says that she and Vicki don’t have a friendship, which is how she wants it. Then she proceeds to be the liar she says she isn’t. She says she just walked up to Vicki to say hello, and Vicki called her a liar. I think there was a little more to it than that. As usual, one of the Housewives thinks we have short term memory loss. Heather says she got the same story from Kelly. She says she hates the “don’t make me go there” stuff where someone threatens to tell a secret. Shannon says she’s okay with being in the same room, but she’s not going to be Vicki’s buddy. She seems to think Vicki cares. Heather disagrees that Shannon doesn’t have unresolved issues with Vicki, because she’s obviously bothered. In her interview, Heather says Shannon is bugged because Vicki didn’t return the call. Shannon says whenever she’s with Vicki, there’s an altercation, but fails to mention that she’s usually the one who starts it.

Commercial break. Million Dollar Listing: LA starts this Thursday.

The launch party for Heather and Terry’s book, Mr. & Mrs. Guinea Pig, commences. Heather gave it over to a party planner and it looks fabulous with ice sculptures and a drink fountain, the decorations sleek and modern. Vicki brings her new guy, Steve. You know everyone is going to be checking him out closely. Tamra says she already investigated and he’s clean. Steve says that’s refreshing to know. Tamra embarrasses Vicki by saying she went from a crook to a cop.

Heather thanks everyone for coming and blah, blah, blah. Jim shows up, surprising Meghan, who says he’s a closet sweetheart. I’ll just leave that alone because any joke is way too easy. Shannon and David show up, and I wonder why David always looks startled or frightened. Maybe I would be too, with this crowd.

Stupid Shannon makes a point of ignoring Vicki. She says she’s sick of people saying she hasn’t moved on with Vicki, so then she makes a point of talking to Vicki. This woman cannot make up her mind. Tamra makes Vicki show off her nipple covers. Don’t ask. Tamra talks about Vicki’s new boyfriend and Shannon asks for an introduction. Shannon and Tamra pat Steve down to see if he has a gun. Heather is confused by Shannon and Vicki getting along. Terry discusses Meghan’s pregnancy with Jim. Terry says his son is treating him like some dude he works with and it’s not good.

Tamra calls bullsh*t on Shannon, but hopes they can get along. Meghan tells Heather she wants to eat everything in sight. Heather says babies suck the life out of you. Meghan says she and Jim have been looking into their heritage and talking about going to Ireland, but he’s too busy.

All of a sudden, Meghan suggests they all go to Ireland. In her interview, Shannon claims that Vicki acts like two different people when she’s the one acting like that. The girls make ice cream in a humongous bowl. Tamra says it looks like a yeast infection. Nice.

Kelly tells Vicki about Michael disappearing when they were on the beach, and how she had to take an Uber home. She says she keeps hoping for something better and it’s not getting better. Vicki says there’s a lot of anger between them. Michael is drunk and hitting on Heather’s stylist. Holy! Kelly apologizes to the stylist and tells Michael that he’s being harassing. He says, buggly hiaortrh thhhp. That’s not a typo. Kelly tells Vicki she can’t bring him anywhere without him embarrassing her. In her interview, Vicki says she can relate to Kelly. We flash back to d*ckhead Don she was married to. Kelly says Michael is a drunk and on cue, he breaks a glass. Vicki says they should talk it out. Kelly says they’ve been talking it out for twelve years.

Next time, Ireland here we come, Shannon wears a horrific green glitter shirt, Tamra drunkenly blabs some secrets, and then gets hysterical when there are repercussions.