Monthly Archives: November 2016

November 29, 2016 – Bad Timing on GH, Some Good-Bys on ILYIW, a Good Final Charter for Below Deck & Hello to the London Ladies

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian has a visitor. He thinks it’s Alexis, but it’s Jordan. She tells him he had internal bleeding and some bone breakage, and just got out of surgery. Isn’t it the doctor’s job to update him on his condition? And why is she allowed to go in there alone when he just had surgery five minutes ago? She asks if he remembers what happened and he says he was hit by a car. She wants to know details, like who hit him.

Molly shows up at Alexis’s house early. She wonders what happened on Thanksgiving. She tells Alexis that she texted five times and there was no response. She wants to know what Alexis was doing out all night.

Finn is looking for Hayden and tells Tracy that it looks like she was out all night. Hayden comes in from the kitchen and wonders what the emergency is.

Obrecht and Franco are having breakfast. His face is in his phone and she tells him that he’s fallen into the mindless obsession of screens. Ha-ha! She wants to know what’s more important than her scintillating conversation. He says Tom Baker.

At the hospital, Bobbie gets flowers from Carly.

Sonny wakes up with Nell next to him. He’s like oh, geez. She says good morning, but it’s not like she’s smiling. Please, please, please don’t tell me she’s going to say he forced himself on her. I won’t be able to take it.

Finn chastises Tracy for telling him Hayden was upstairs. Tracy suggests installing a GPS chip in Hayden. Finn says Hayden’s bed looks like it hasn’t been slept in. Hayden tells him what a shock, since she made her bed after she got up. She says she’s feeling better and wants to go to work, but Finn says her test results came back.

Obrecht confuses Tom Baker with the actor from Dr. Who, and then realizes who Franco is talking about. Franco wonders if he should be judging Tom, but Obrecht says he doesn’t have an illness like Franco did. She says she’s glad he hasn’t risked his freedom by killing Tom, and asks why he’s watching him. The hospital tech has set it up so he can track Tom on his phone.

Alexis tells Molly that she underestimated how hard Thanksgiving would be. She wanted to clear her head and went for drive. She starts to clean things up and drops something. Molly asks if she’s okay, and she says no.

Julian tells Jordan that he remembers going to the bar, but after that, nothing. Jordan says the more details he can give her, the faster she can solve the case. She thinks there might be a connection to the bomb. She says it’s her duty to protect the citizens of Port Charles. even him.

Sonny asks Nell what happened, saying that he doesn’t remember anything. He says he’s been drinking since Morgan died and never blacked out before. He remembers Nell coming over and talking about Morgan. He says he remembers her getting the scotch, and wonders how they wound up sleeping together. Oh-ho! I guess she slipped him something. Maybe that’s why she was messing around with the photos; she was hiding it.

Carly congratulates Bobbie on returning to GH, and says the flowers are also a peace offering for their altercation about Nell. Bobbie says maybe she’s just being judgemental, but she has a bad feeling about Nell. Carly understands about something being too good to be true, but says just because they were lying schemers when they were young, doesn’t mean Nell is. Bobbie promises to wait until something actually happens before reacting.

Sonny is trying to figure it out. He says Nell is lovely and sweet, and no disrespect, but how did they wind up sleeping together? I guess that’s his way of saying she’s not his type. She says she helped him upstairs and put him to bed. She says they were both lonely, and one thing led to another. She starts to cry, and says she’s sorry, she never should have let it happen. He tells her no worries, but she wonders how she can look Carly in the face again.

Obrecht tells Franco to give up his fool’s errand. She says she isn’t Elizabeth’s greatest fan, but reminds him that Elizabeth is already upset about him going after Tom the first time. She takes his phone. She says Tom is a lump and not moving. He’s no threat, and Elizabeth doesn’t need to be rescued.

Elizabeth checks Julian’s vitals. She remembers being in the hospital herself, and he says he’s sorry about what happened with Paul. She says she had friends and family to help her, and he says he does’t have that luxury.

Finn tells Hayden that he’d hoped the antibiotics would help. She says maybe they did, since she’s feeling better. He says she tested positve for the same disease he has.

Nell says Carly is going to be angry and disappointed. She asks Sonny not to tell her. He says Carly will be angry with him, not her, but Nell says she doesn’t want Carly looking at her differently. She starts to cry again, and begs Sonny not to say anything. He tells her not to worry, he won’t. He might not have to. Carly calls to him from downstairs. Sonny says he’ll be right down. He tells Nell to stay put.

Hayden thanks Finn, but she still wants to go to work. He says they need to figure out what happens next. She says he does; she still has to earn a living. Tracy suggests that Hayden take the day off, but she says she’s not dying today, and she’ll see them when she gets back. Tracy asks Finn, now what?

Obrecht says Tom is most likely contemplating the futility of his own existence. Franco says, or his next move. Obrecht insists he’s no threat, but Franco says this guy is practically vibrating that he thinks he’s invincible. She thinks he should wait until Tom makes the first move, but he doesn’t want to take that chance. If he can’t protect Elizabeth within the confines of the law, he’ll do it another way. He says he can’t let anything happen to her and won’t.

Julian asks if he’s going to live, and Elizabeth says it appears so. He asks when he can leave. She tells him that he just got done with surgery and has broken bones. He’s going to need significant care, plus someone to look after him when he gets home. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Molly asks Alexis if something else happened. Alexis says the holidays are getting to her and it’s going to be a long month. Molly says it’s the worst month of Alexis’s life, and Alexis is impressed that Molly’s response is both hyperbole and an understatement. Molly says after the new year, Alexis has a chance to get her law life back.

There’s a knock at the door and Alexis says it must be opportunity. Nope, it’s Jordan. She says they need to talk about Julian.

Sonny comes downstairs. Carly says she wanted to check on him and see how he’s doing, since he was stuck by himself on Thanksgiving. He says he’s fine, and she says she also has to ask him a question.

Alexis asks Jordan what Julian has done now. Jordan says he’s in the hospital. She asks if it’s serious, and Jordan says he was hit by a car. Molly hopes he’s dead, I laugh, and Alexis chastises her. Alexis asks if they know who it was, but Jordan says not yet. Molly says if they find out, she’ll help raise money for his defense. She’s a real card today. Jordan says he was having a drink in a bar outside of Port Charles, but has no recollection of the accident. She’s concerned it was another attempt on his life, and wonders if there’s a connection to the car bomb. Alexis says you can never be too careful.

Obrecht tells Franco that he’s actually an honorable man, but until Tom makes a move, he can’t do anything. As if he heard her, Tom makes a move.

Elizabeth sees Hayden banging on the vending machine. She asks if everything is all right.

Sonny asks Carly what’s on her mind, and she asks if Jason has come up with anything in his investigation. Sonny says no leads, but he’s working on it. Carly asks to be kept posted. Sonny repeats what Carly had told him, that whether it was him or not, their son is still dead. Carly says it doesn’t honor him for her to punish Sonny, so she’s going to stop. Great timing, Carly.

Carly apologizes and says Morgan would want them to do better and be kind to each other. She says she spent the day thinking about previous holidays, and they go down Morgan Memory Lane. Carly says she kept staring at the door on Thanksgiving, hoping he would come in. Sonny says he’s the same way. She says Christmas is around the corner. She knows they have to keep up appearances for the kids, but she’ll be going through the same thing he is, so maybe they can look out for each other and make each other feel better.

Tracy tells Finn that could have gone better, but at least Hayden is feeling positive. He says she needs to come back to reality, and that she’s in a state of denial. Tracy says there’s nothing she can do, and too bad he quit GH when he did. Finn says he had no choice. He says what Brad found is keeping him alive, and now it will have to keep Hayden alive too. Tracy asks if he has enough, and he says not even close.

Elizabeth approaches Hayden. She starts to cry, and Elizabeth hugs her.

Alexis thanks Jordan, but doesn’t know how she can help. Jordan says Sonny is a person of interest. She says Alexis and Julian are divorced, but Julian keeps declaring his love, which makes her a target. Jordan tells her to live her life, but be careful. Alexis says she’ll do her best. Jordan leaves, and Molly asks if Alexis is okay, suggesting she needs retail therapy. Alexis keen on crowded stores and bumping up against strangers, but tells Molly to have a good time. As soon as Molly is gone,  Alexis says she isn’t sure if she believes in God, but if He’s up there, thank you. Julian calls, and I wonder if she silently takes back her thanks.

Julian says she didn’t expect to hear from him, did she? She says she heard he’s in the hospital, and asks how he’s feeling. He says he’ll live, but he’s had better days. He wants her to visit him. She says she can’t, but he says she owes him that much.

Tracy wants to check her contacts. She tells Finn that she’ll find the drug he needs in a country where it’s legal, and have it sent. Finn doesn’t want her risking it. She says he’s not in this alone. Finn says he appreciates it, but it’s a problem he needs to solve. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else. Tracy says she doesn’t want to lose him, and he doesn’t want to lose Hayden. He says he’s not resting until he finds a cure.

Franco is agitated, and Obrecht tells him to calm down. He says a predator is on the loose, and wonders if this is how people felt about him. Obrecht says that she imagines some still might. He sees Tom is headed for the hospital.

Hayden says Elizabeth is the last person she wants to be with right now and walks away.

Carly tells Sonny that she can’t imagine how lonely he must be, and he says it’s better than being in a cell. She tells him to call her. She sees the two glasses on the table, and asks who was there with him.

Tomorrow, Carly wants to be honest, Valentin meets with Nina, and Griff asks Nathan about Claudette.

If Loving You is Wrong

We go back to last week’s ending – Randal pleading with Rusty, and Rusty telling him shut up, boy. One of Rusty’s boys smacks Randal with a shovel. Rusty tells them to hurry up and they tell him to keep his pants on. Randal isn’t down for long, and says he can give Rusty money. Rusty asks where he’d get money, and Randal says he’s a doctor. Rusty says there are no Black doctors and no one watching even knows what to say. He insists Randal must be a drug dealer. Randal begs again for Rusty not to hurt his son.

Rusty tells his boys they’re good for nothing, and tells Randal to shut up again. Okay, can we move on? For whatever reason, Rusty’s boys can’t deal with some chain. We hear the baby cry. He’s lying on the front lawn, and Randal moves toward him. Virginia comes onto the porch and tells him that he’d better not. She says he’s going to die. She lights up a cigarette to emphasize how bad she is.

She says she knows he didn’t rape Alex, but he’d better not tell Rusty she said it, and no way is she going to help him. She tells him he should have stuck to his own kind. Randal says they’re in love, and Virginia says Alex doesn’t love him. He says in her heart she does, and Virginia asks why Alex would have come to them for help then. Alex told them he was trying to take the baby from her. She asks him why they would have gone through all this trouble except for her. Randal can’t believe Alex would do something like that.

The baby is crying, and Randal asks if she can at least pick him up. Virginia says she wouldn’t dare; Rusty would knock her sideways. He says he knows she’s not this person, and she asks how he would know who she is. He asks if Rusty was her first love, and then asks if she had to settle for him. Oh, that’s right, he’s a shrink. He says she had big dreams and ended up there. He starts talking about her parents which is always the root of the problem. She asks if Alex told him or is he a witch. He says he just knows people. She calls him a witch in black and says good thing Rusty is going to hang him. She says they’re going to hang him and take him to Alligator Alley and drop his body in, and the boy too. Randal starts to beg agina, but she goes inside.

Rusty tells Randal to back away from the baby like he’s a baby alarm. You are too close to the baby! Step away from the baby!

Meanwhile, back at the station, Steven gets a message from Andrew. He’s out of area, so Steven tells the operator to call Andrew’s cell. She says he’s in good hands; Eddie is with him. She says Eddie went to back him up, but said not to tell Steven. Steven asks if Andrew has Alex with him, and she says she thinks so. She makes calls to both Eddie and Andrew, but they go to voicemail.

At Alex’s house, Kelly paces, and Marcie asks what’s wrong. Kelly returns the question and Marcie says she’s just tired. Kelly says she’s worried about Alex, and wishes someone would get back. Marcie asks who’s on her porch. It’s Travis. Marcie is about to invite him in, but Kelly says no. Kelly makes sure the door is locked, and tells Marcie that Travis is acting strange. She says he broke into her house and he’s been stalking her. Marcie wants her to call the police, but she says she’ll be okay. She wonders if she led him on, and Marcie tells her not to be one of those women who blame themselves, and to call the police. Now. Kelly takes out her phone.

Lushion’s phone rings, and Natalie tells him to answer it. She says Joey has been stable and his phone has been blowing up. He goes into the hallway. It’s Kelly. She asks about Joey, and then says she might need a restraining order. She asks him to keep it between them, and tells him what Travis has been up to and that he’s been acting crazy. He asks if she’s safe, and she says she thinks so. He says he can’t come right now, but he’ll send someone he trusts. She asks if Ramses said anything about leaving, and Lushion says no. She tells him that Travis told her that Ramses was gone for good, like he knew something. Kelly says there was a sign on Ramses’s door saying he went back to Utah, but it seemed weird to her. She asks him to check. Lushion says he has the key and he’ll send it with Officer Rick. Kelly says she’ll pray for Joey, and they hang up. Marcie tells her she did the right thing, and what Travis is doing isn’t okay. Kelly knows Marcie is holding something back and says she’ll spill it eventually.

Lushion calls Steven. He asks Steven to send Rick to Kelly’s, and do a sweep of both of their houses. He can pick up the keys at the hospital. Steven tells Lushion about Andrew, and how he thinks Eddie got involved. Now he can’t get either one on the phone. Lushion says they need to take him down now. They have more than enough to take the whole department down. Steven says he almost has the cartel and they can’t risk it. Lushion says Eddie is running amok, and they don’t even know where Pete is. He says to make sure Michael finds him. Steven asks about Joey, and says they’re going out to Alex’s parents’. Lushion tells him to call it in to FBI headquarters; it’s a kidnapping. Steven says Eddie is already on to him, but Lushion insists. He can’t believe the way his night is going.

Natalie asks what’s going on, and Lushion says nothing. Ha-ha! She says she knows him, and he needs to go take care of whatever. He refuses to leave, and she wants to know what’s up. He tells her about Alex’s parents kidnapping Randal and the baby. He says he’s sending some guys from the FBI. She asks if Eddie is there, and when Lushion says yes, she insists he go. He tells her to call him if there’s any change.

The police arrive. Kelly sees that they’re going to her house, and she peeks out the door. No Travis. Rick introduces himself and asks what the deal is. She says it’s her ex, and explains about Travis breaking into her house. She asks if she’s over-reacting, and Rick says not if he broke in. Duh. She says he’s just a kid and she doesn’t know this side of him. Rick says he’ll make a report, and to call if anything else happens. He’s going to Ramses’s house and Kelly wants to come, but he tells her to stay there.

Rick shines his flashlight in the windows and knocks on the door. He asks if anyone is home and goes inside. He comes back out pretty quickly. Kelly asks if everything is okay and he tells her to get inside immediately. He radios for back-up. Kelly tells Marcie that something happened to Ramses.

Commercial break with important information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on Tuesday, January 3 at 9 pm.

Rusty’s boys can’t get the boat off the hitch. Rusty goes to get the saw. I guess Rusty’s hitch is rusty.

Randal asks Virginia to pick up the baby, and she says she’s not picking “that thing” up. He says the baby is cold, and she tells him being cold is the least of its worries. She says she’s not touching him or Randal. He says he’ll pay her. She’s another one who can’t fathom that he has money. She asks how much. He says 100 grand. She thinks this over. He asks if she can’t use the money, and she acts like it’s an insult and tells him he has nothing they want.

Virginia goes over to Rusty. It would be really funny if she got the boat unhitched. She tells Rusty that Randal says he has money, 100K. Rusty says Randal is going to die and he doesn’t want anything from him. He sees Randal moving toward the baby and kicks him. A police car drives in. It’s Alex.

Virginia gives Rusty his gun and Alex tells them to give her the child. Randal calls to Alex and Rusty fires a shot near him. Alex says she’s not going without her baby. Virginia says that Alex laid with that trash and now she’s saying please. She says it’s a sin before God and she can’t love the baby. They have to let him die so she can get forgiveness and go to heaven. Alex tells Rusty she’s sorry. Rusty tells her to put a bullet in Randal’s head. Virginia tells Rusty not to trust her, but he says she’s his daughter. Alex says she can’t, and he says she’s not sorry then. He says she brought this to them. She says she’s sorry, and he asks what she’s sorry for. She says she’s sorry she slept with Randal. Rusty is like, what? and she says she’s sorry she let him rape her.

Randal protests, and Alex pops him one in the head. Virginia tells Rusty not to trust her, but he gives her the gun. Randal begs – a lazy acting week for him, since he had hardly any lines to learn – and Alex says it’s for her son. He keeps telling her please don’t. She can’t. Rusty says she’s always been soft-hearted like her mom, but he’s going to teach her different. Another police car pulls up. It’s Eddie. Great. Just what this party needs.

Rusty asks what he’s doing there, and he says he came to watch. He says Alex’s husband is his best friend and Randal raped her. Randal is like, Eddie, please, and Eddie says go ahead and beg. He asks if he can have the pleasure, and Rusty says sure, but they have to get the boat in the water first. Because – he says it – it’s rusty. Eddie shoots the chain and the boat is free. Boy, they are stupid. Everybody has a gun and no one thought of that.

They put the noose around Randal’s neck. He’s all noooo! and they drag him off, Eddie in the lead. Eddie throws the rope over a tree branch and they hoist Randal up. Police sirens are heard, and they all take off, and I laugh. Randal drops to the ground, and there’s a shoot out.

I hope someone picked up the baby. Everyone runs everywhere and everyone is shooting. Steven and Lushion are there too. It’s a total free-for-all. Eddie shoots Rusty in the back (good riddance), and then acts like he was after them the whole time. He starts yapping about Andrew being missing like he’s concerned. Man, I hope Randal spills the beans on that a-hole. Brad drives up. Why not?

Someone did pick up the baby. Virginia is in the boat, out on the lake, holding the baby over the water by one of his feet. Alex cries and screams. Lushion says take the shot, and an officer shoots.

Season finale.

Below Deck

Kate video chats with Ro. She thinks the other stews are being lackadaisical because it’s the end of the season, but if they want the last tip, she says they have to do the last few days of work.

Kelly is upset about Captain Lee feeling he’s not up to the task of his job.

Ben says it was nice to become more comfortable with Emily, so I guess their friend date went well.

Kyle and Nico talk about Ashley coming to visit. Nico asks if Kyle told her about asking Sierra out. Kyle says he did, but Ashley took it well and just thought Sierra was an idiot. Hmm… I think there was more to the conversation than that.

Time for hearing about the next guests. Dawn is the primary, with a group of former models who all have a lifestyle blog together. Their only requirements are a photo shoot and a thank you dinner for Dawn. Kate says there’s a lot of potential for Kelley. In his interview, he says he has experience with older women and knows what the ladies like and it’s him. He talks about being 26 and dating a 42-year-old. Oh yeah? When I was 19, I dated a 40-year-old.

The crew gets the boat ready,and Captain Lee asks Kelley to assemble the deck crew. He wants to end things on a positive note. He says this charter should be a piece of cake. He tells Kelley to give the guests guidance – away from using the pool, which has been troublesome all season. He tells them to use Kate’s playbook. If Ben doesn’t have something, she steers the guests away from it. Nico translates that to causing someone to believe something when they don’t actually believe it.

Kate compares the crews’ radios to egg babies. She says Sierra and Emily have been great all season, but they suddenly have senior-itis. In her interview, Sierra wonders where this is coming from. Emily seems puzzled too, but I’m not. I don’t blame Kate when she couldn’t even take a break last charter because the captain had to hunt down indoor help.

Ben rubs Emily’s shoulders as Kate radios for her. See? They kis,s and Kate radios that they’re all fired, hoping to get someone’s attention. It’s not just Emily though. Everyone is leaving their radios everywhere. The crew gets ready to greet the guests. Kelley asks Kate for advice about the pool, and she suggests he say it’s more for babies and older people. Good one. The captain tells them to act like they’ve done this before.

Kate does the boat tour. Ben gets lunch ready. The guests are dressed beautifully. Lots of paisley in bright colors. The Valor shoves off. The guests consult their photographer. Kate says the guests are so happy, it’s annoying, but with every beverage served, she’s that much closer to freedom.

Kelley and Nico talk to the guests about the toys. Kelley goes through the list, and downplays the pool. The ladies say definitely on the slide, and after that, he can choose. Ben is doing a quinoa dish “because models love that sh*t.” I do too, and I’m not a model. Now where’s that brownie chaser?

Ben tells Kate they should see if they can avoid having any arguments this charter. Kate suggests avoiding to keep from being annoyed. Yep. The Valor drops anchor. Kate finds Sierra’s radio in one of the guest bedrooms. She attaches the girls’ radios to them. In her interview, Kate says they say brains and beauty are a hard combination to find, and Sierra is very pretty, so pretty…

Lunchtime! Next to seeing how much the tip is, my favorite part of the show is to eat vicariously. Emily and Ben flirt in the galley. In his interview, he’s not sure if they’re “an item,” but he knows he likes her. In her interview, Kate says she appreciates the budding romance that is Bemily, but they still have to focus on work.

Dawn makes a toast about women inspiring women. Kate says she feels like she’s in a Lifetime movie. In her interview, she says being an independent woman isn’t sitting on a yacht talking about independence, but I dunno. It can be. The guests talk about giving back.

Emily and Sierra tidy the rooms. Kelley talks to Ben, who thinks it’s been a great season. Kelley does some weird dance and says he’s letting loose. Kate looks on skeptically, and slightly disapproving.

Captain Lee is happy with the team of Nico and Kelley. The guests use the slide, and it looks like a load of fun. Sierra tells Emily that she feels disrespected, but she doesn’t want to make a big deal since it’s the last charter.

A glorious sunset happens, and Ben gets dinner ready. Kyle doesn’t like the way Sierra eats dinner. More radio hyjinks. Kyle gets sulky when Sierra touches his radio and he thinks she’s accusing him of taking hers. She calls him a child, and he calls her an f-ing idiot. Nice. She complains to Emily that he’s petty. In her interview, she says he’s still holding a grudge because she wasn’t into him. They start to argue and Nico tells them to knock it off, reminding them that it’s the last charter.

Kelley tells Kyle to be a man and fix it. Big baby Kyle doesn’t want to apologize, saying Sierra is a psychopath, and that she probably has an ex-boyfriend’s body parts stashed away. I’m speechless yet again tonight.

The photographer leaves, and the ladies sit down to dinner. Kyle complains to Kelley about Sierra, but Kelley tells him that in confined places, they have to get along. Kelley tells Sierra that it was her delivery that was wrong. She says every time she deals with him, it’s an unpleasant encounter and she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore. Kelley says she’s being rude right now. She says she only has a problem with him and Kyle, and Kelley says just let it go. He and Kyle complain about her as soon as she leaves.

Sierra tells Kate about Kyle’s reaction to her picking up his radio. In her interview, Kate says the only thing she has time for is the job they’re supposed to be doing. Sierra says Kelley will probably apologize now. Kelley overhears and says not this time. He tells her that he was actually trying to get Kyle to apologize to her when she went off on him.

Dinner is served. Chilean sea bass. I’m in. The women cheer Ben’s food. Kate tells Ben they want to meet him, so he comes up along with the dessert. More applause and accolades. And hugs. The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. Truth.

Lauren and Nico talk about yachting. Kyle talks about Sierra being mental. Lauren thinks Kate is a sh*t stirrer. Ben can’t sleep. He tells Kate that he doesn’t have much anxiety though. He says Kate’s been nicer to him, and she says it’s because she’s been avoiding him. Ha-ha! In his interview, Ben says Kate is an easy person to work with. Like Attila the Hun.

The guests have breakfast and the stews are supposed to be tidying the cabins, but Sierra is busy scarfing down some toast. Kelley thinks the deckhands are just getting into stride and the stews are falling apart. One of the guests bothers Captain Lee and wants to see the anchor come up, so he palms her off on Kelley.

Kate tells Ben how much time they have left down to the second. She says oddly enough, she’s least annoyed with him out of everyone. Sierra complains about the deckhands asking her to do their chores. Kelley gets notified and relays a complaint from Kate. Kate says that just because these guests aren’t Dean, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get Dean service. Ben jokes that he’d planned on giving them bad service tonight. In his interview, he says Kate is there to spoil everyone’s day again.

The guests are going to the Baths on the mainland. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds great. The deckhands put snorkeling gear in the small boat, and Kate makes a cocktail for the guests before departure. She loves when they go to the Baths because they’re gone for a solid three hours. Kate finds two of the guest bathrooms have no toilet paper, and I’d be livid if I was her. That’s a huge no-no when you’re paying that much money. I wouldn’t expect that from a Day’s Inn. She discusses the situation with Sierra and Emily, and tells them to shiny up the rooms. After they leave, Kate complains to Ben.

In her interview, Sierra thinks she’s worked hard all season, and this is bullsh*t.

Next time, the season finale (sniff), Ben wants to be naughty, Kyle proposes to Ashley, and Ben doesn’t want to work with Kate anymore.

✈  Ladies of London is back. Joan Collins Sophie is now a full cast member. Julie has the tremendous task of taking over her husband’s family’s estate. She’s feeling the pressure of eventually becoming the Countess of Sandwich. I’m not making that up. She’s concerned that if she fails at this task, it will be a black mark against all Americans. Marissa is pregnant. It’s a girl with a side of complications, and has to come into the world two months early. Caroline #1 has turned 40, and since losing her business last season, is basically a housewife. She and her husband are moving to Dubai. Sister-in-law Alexis Carrington Sophie and Caroline’s brother are getting divorced, although that hasn’t interfered with their friendship. Caroline #2‘s father has cancer, causing her to divide her time between Denmark and England. In the first episode, there’s already an altercation between Caroline #1 and Julie, with kibitzing from Juliet, probably because Caroline is jealous of Julie’s friendship with her almost ex-SIL. I’ll keep you mini-posted.

November 28, 2016 – Everyone into the Rehab! Drunken Mistakes on GH & Drunken Arguments at SUR

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nell tells Sonny that she thinks Jax just wants to help Carly. She tells him she saw them kissing and probably misinterpreted it. Sonny asks the same question I do – how can you misinterpret that?

Carly thanks Jax for his Thanksgiving help. Josslyn asks if he can make dinner again on Christmas. He suggests taking her to Australia for the holiday, but she says that would be two more people for Carly to miss.

Jordan confronts Andre about answering her phone and telling Curtis to leave her alone.

Curtis asks Valerie if she’d join him when her shift is over for drinks and an apology.

Jason and Sam are out for ice cream. Sam tells Jason about how Alexis went out for whipped cream, but then texted her saying that she was with Diane who’d had a fight with Max. Jason thinks Sam isn’t buying Alexis’s story.

I laugh again when we revisit Alexis hitting the accelerator instead of backing up, sending Julian into the air. I can’t help it. It just doesn’t look real. Alexis can’t believe what she just did and gets out of the car. She makes a phone call when Julian won’t answer her.

Jax gets a phone call. While he’s talking in the hallway, Carly tells Josslyn not to pressure him. He rejoins them, saying that his mother is sick, and he has to fly back to Australia.

Nell tells Sonny that Jax is walking around like the man of the house, and he’s spending the night. Sonny asks if he’s sleeping with Carly. Well, actually he says “my wife.”

Andre tells Jordan that he did answer her phone. She says she has voicemail, so that was unnecessary. She asks if he told Curtis to leave her alone, and Andre admits it. He says Curtis had already riled her up, and he thought he was doing her a favor. She asks if he’s out of his mind. Seriously.

Curtis tells Valerie that he knows he made a mistake, but they had a good thing going. He tells her he’s not working for Julian anymore and wants to make things right. He entices her with Thanksgiving football, as friends, but she says they’re not friends anymore.

Sam tells Jason about how Alexis seemed to be looking for an excuse to leave. She says ever since Julian was acquitted and Alexis lost her license, Alexis has been lost. Sam amends it, and says she’s probably worried about nothing, and tells him about Alexis possibly getting her license back after the new year.

On the phone, Alexis says there’s been an accident, and tells Julian not to die on her. Man, I would have just gotten the hell out of there and let him rot. I also think Alexis called Jax first, although he’s giving a really poor excuse that can easily be found out.

Curtis asks Valerie for a Thanksgiving truce, but she says he’s not really sorry about anything. She says he is who he is, and he’s not going to change. They’re done.

Jordan tells Andre that the phone call was about a case, and Curtis was calling her out of respect. Andre says Curtis doesn’t respect anything. He asks if Curtis pounced on telling on him. She says just the opposite; she was trying to find out what happened with the case on his end. Andre tells her that if she can’t see how much aggravation he causes, Curtis wins. Remind me not to call Andre if I need therapy.

Curtis thanks Sam for including him in dinner. He asks if they can talk shop for a second. They set Danny up with some coloring and step away.

Alexis keeps yelling at Julian to answer her while the ambulance takes ten hours to get there. She asks why he didn’t just leave her alone. She hears the sirens and tries to pull herself together. She says she can’t stay. She tells Julian he’ll be fine and jets. I’ll bet she’s a lot more sober than when she got in the car before. I was actually hoping she’d make the same mistake again, but back over him this time. Didn’t happen.

Jax tells Carly and Josslyn that he didn’t get any details, but he was told he should get to the hospital right away. Josslyn asks if she should come with him, but he says to let him see what’s going on first. Josslyn goes upstairs. Jax says he hates leaving right now, but Carly says she understands. He tells her to try and find some kind of happiness. He hopes it doesn’t involve Sonny, but tells her that she has to do what she has to do. She thanks him for not feeding into her issue confusion.

Nell tells Sonny she can’t say for sure what bed Jax is sleeping in. She says Jax asked her to book a suite at the hotel, but then decided to stay at Carly’s. Sonny says, of course.

Andre tells Jordan that maybe he overstepped, but he was coming from a good place. Jordan says he could have at least told her that Curtis called. She doesn’t need someone to make her decisions for her, and she thinks he’s feeding her a line of crap.

Curtis, Jason and Sam agree that the truck that blocked the view from the mini-mart camera wasn’t supposed to be there. Sam checked with the store and there were no deliveries scheduled. Curtis asks if they would mind doing some work even though it’s still the holiday in Port Charles.

Alexis gets back to her house, but no one is there. She relives the moment, and heads for the liquor.

Ava runs into the hospital. The nurse tells her they think it’s a hit and run.

Jax gets to Alexis’s. She’s glad to see him. Told ya! I ain’t been watching this 50 years for nuthin’.

Carly sees the Thanksgiving call from Sonny on her phone.

Sonny asks Nell to make him a drink. He says when Carly is hurt, she hurts herself even more, but he can’t criticize because he does it too. He says that’s how they got together, and before they loved each other, they hated each other. They were both hurt and one thing led to another. It was mutual self-destruction, but they learned to love each other and that’s how Morgan came to be. He was everything good about them, and now he’s gone, and now his wife is sleeping with Jax. Nell gives him a scotch and he slugs it down.

Andre asks what Jordan wants. She wants an apology and for him to understand what he did wrong. Sounds reasonable.

Curtis tells Jason about his conversation with Julian. He says that Julian claimed not to know Jessup, and then fired him. Jason tells him that Jessup has been dead for 20 years.

Carly tells Josslyn that Sonny had nothing to do with the bomb, and Jason is going to prove it. Josslyn asks if she’s going to forgive Sonny and take him back now.

Nell has a drink too, since no one should drink alone. Uh-huh. Sonny says there’s always trouble when Jax is around. Nell shuts off his phone and messes around with the family photos (?) while Sonny drunkenly prattles on about Jax. He wants to go punch Jax out, but Nell stops him, reminding him about his angle monitor. She tells him not to let Jax be the reason he goes back to prison. He says he’s not going anywhere, she is. He says he can take care of himself, and she should go home. Nell says he needs some rest, and offers to help him upstairs. Another uh-huh, along with an uh-oh.

Jax wants to know what’s going on with Alexis, saying he hardly recognizes her. He sees blood on her blouse, and she says she’s done something awful. She says she may have killed Julian.

Ava visits Julian, who’s hooked up to all kinds of tubes. He’s conscious, and she tells him that he’s in the hospital, explaining that he was in an accident. He doesn’t remember anything though. She asks how he feels, and he says like he’s going to die. She insists he’d better not die on her. She asks her to call everyone so he can see them one last time. She says she’ll call, but they’re survivors and remember that. Geez, for someone on pain meds, he sure is a downer. He tells her he didn’t get back into the business because of her.

Alexis tells Jax it was an accident; she put the car in the wrong gear. He asks if she was drunk, and she says she’d been drinking. He tells her leaving the scene of an accident is a serious offense, like she doesn’t know. She’s worried that Julian died after she left, and asks him to find out.

Valerie stops by Julian’s room to ask questions. Ava says the meds kicked in, but she thinks it was another attempt on Julian’s life by the same person who planted the bomb.

Jax tells Alexis that Julian is in serious, but stable condition, and expected to recover. Dammit! Jax wonders about the bartender, but Alexis says he didn’t see anything. Jax says he can testify to how many drinks she had. He asks what if it had been him or one of her daughters, and says to let this be her rock bottom. He wants her to check into rehab. She says she’ll find a treatment center and check in tomorrow. He says tonight. She begs him to give her a chance to talk to the girls. She asks him to trust her, but he says he doesn’t trust her one bit. Good for him. Those guys on Intervention would be proud.

Sam says the name that was on the van isn’t an existing company. Curtis thanks them and leaves. Sam is concerned about Sonny and wants to stop by.

Andre says if Jordan wants to talk more they can do it at home. She says they’re not going anywhere together.

Nell gets Sonny upstairs. She tells him he’ll be all right, and starts to take his shirt off. Sonny tells her she’s a good girl and lies down on the bed.

Jordan slams out of Kelly’s and Curtis approaches her. She says whenever there’s a problem, he’s involved, and he says she’s done a number on his life too.

Jax agrees to let Alexis wait. No, Jax, no! We all take back our pride in him. He says he’ll be checking on her later, and don’t make regret this. He leaves, and she looks at the liquor bottles.

Carly tells Josslyn that Sonny sounded lonely on the voicemail. She says he’s lost a child too. She’s been trying to stay angry and not see his side, but when she heard his voice, it touched her.

Sonny lies in bed. Nell says she’s sorry. She takes her clothes off and gets in with him, cuddling his arm.

Tomorrow, Molly asks Alexis where she’s been, someone sends Bobbie flowers, and Sonny wonders how he and Nell ended up sleeping together.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana’s brother, Jeremy, has moved in with her and Tom, and it’s pretty much trashed their sex life. Ariana, Tom, Lala and Jeremy are out for lunch. They check out Lala’s range rover. Lala is being questioned about where she gets her money, but she says it’s nobody’s business. Truth. She tells them about James’s shared penthouse, and how she helped him make it less mannish for his girlfriend who is coming. They discuss James testing Lisa’s patience.

James has decorated his place with some welcome home stuff for his new girlfriend, Raquel. They’ve been seeing each other long distance, but she’s home for the summer. She’s a pageant queen who works with children, and I’m wondering if James is another charity case. Oh, I take it back, she’s just stupid. She wonders why people don’t like him. He claims it’s because they’re jealous. I’m always jealous of drunks who get in physical altercations while they’re working.

Stassi, Kristen and Katie are out drinking. Kristen is getting veneers put on, so I guess this is a good-by party for her old teeth. They talk about Scheana and Katie says she’s constantly saying Katie said things she didn’t.

Scheana and Brittany are at work, and Scheana is accusing Katie of the same thing. Lala comes in and they talk about the party happening in the outside area at SUR. Scheana brings up being Katie’s friend, and says talking with Lala makes her uncomfortable.

Kristen gets a text from Scheana who tells her about not talking to Lala. Stassi is proud of her, but thinks she should have done it earlier. She thinks it’s going to come up again and Katie thinks they should have a confrontation conversion about it.

Lisa meets with manager Diana, who asks how long they’re going to tolerate James. She says he’s coming in drunk, screaming and yelling, and disconnecting the music when he shouldn’t be. Lisa says if she can get definitive evidence that he’s drinking on the job, it’s all she needs.

Schwartz is late for the doctor. He says he’s having premarital heebie-jeebies, so he’s sought professional help. What? He says he feels like he’s going behind Katie’s back and talking about her. He says when she loses control and goes to the dark side, it scares him, but in her mind, he doesn’t have her back. He tells us that they have chronic falling outs, and alcohol is usually the catalyst. We flash back to some of them. He feels like he hasn’t been able to express how it “kills the Schwartz” when she does this. The therapist gives him homework – a discussion with Katie about what’s behind her rage. She asks if he’s ready to make a committment. There’s a cricket moment, but he says he’s sure about getting married. I’m not. He sounds like a big baby, although I think that’s already been established in previous seasons.

Jax gives Lisa a heads up that Scheana and Lala were going at it, although they weren’t really. Scheana comes in, and Jax says she can explain. Lisa tells her it’s their work place and they all need to knock it off. Scheana says Katie gets mad because she doesn’t hold grudges along with her. Lisa reminds her again that she’s at work. Jax tries to interject, and Lisa calls him out on being a sh*t stirrer.

Schwartz gets home, and Katie is coloring while she has some wine. The new happy hour. He tells her that he went to the therapist. He tries to explain that when she goes to the dark side, it pushes him away. He wonders if some of the things she says when she’s angry have a nugget of truth in them. In her interview, she says she needs him to be a support system and he doesn’t listen. (Yeah, Katie, it’s called being a guy.) Katie says he just dropped a bomb on her, and he says this isn’t going the way he wanted it to. In his interview, Schwartz says the therapist should have told him not to bring a knife to a gunfight. Schwartz tells Katie there are no doubts on his end, and he’s happy and excited. She’s kind of not having it though, and shoves what looks like lettuce with ranch dressing into her mouth.

Brittany asks Jax to clean the fish tank. He says he’s happy to be supportive, but wants a minute to have a sandwich when he gets home. He finds out they’re scheduled at the same time tonight, and wonders if James is working too. He wants to beat the crap out of him. While explaining this in her interview, Brittany has a continuous wardrobe malfunction where her shirt keeps popping open.

Kristen is back from the dentist and feeling fine. Time to drink. Katie tells her and Stassi about Schwartz’s therapist appointment, and how he said he’s scared of her when she drinks. Stassi says it’s just human emotion and the way women are. Scheana shows up with more champagne. She and Kristen discuss dentistry. Katie wants her to elaborate on the text she sent Kristen. Scheana tells Katie to have some faith in her. Katie doesn’t want Scheana to think she’s being combative. She says it’s not a huge issue, just something that doesn’t sit well with her. She’s afraid if she communicates, Scheana will think she’s coming at her. Kristen tells her she’s a little sensitive. In her interview, Scheana says she feels like it’s always three against one. Stassi says from now on, they confront each other in a constructive way when there’s an issue, even if they’re drinking. That should go well.

James says he knows Lisa told him not to drink before work, but doesn’t think it’s a big issue to be “a bit buzzy.” Brittany is trying to work on memorizing the wine list. Another server, Gigi, talks about having problems with James and how he called her a whore because she didn’t want to go out with him after finding out he had a girlfriend. Brittany asks if his girlfriend knows. She says no, and Jax says he will now.

Jax tells Tom and Ariana what James is saying about Gigi, and they think it’s similar to what he did to Lala when Brittany came to town. We flash back and they’re right. Lala asks James if he’s been hooking up with other chicks, and says Gigi has been telling on him. James denies everything. Jax happens to be walking by and adds his two cents. James asks why a man of his age cares. Jax says that James thinks he’s a rock star and anyone can just plug in a turntable. Oddly, it doesn’t end up with them punching each other. Yet.

Schwartz tells Tom that he left therapy feeling good, but when he tried talking to Katie, it didn’t work out very well. In his interview, he says Katie doesn’t want Ariana to be a bridesmaid for several reasons, including her friendship with Lala, but he’s going to make her a groomsman. Okay, and then he wonders why Katie doesn’t think he has her back. He consistently does things that go directly against how she feels when he’s well-aware of it.

James confronts Gigi. He acts like nothing ever happened. She says he’s always drunk and has no talent. Ha-ha! Diana tells them to both stop it, and Gigi tells her that James is drunk. Lala is glad the rumors aren’t swirling around her this time.

Diana wants to talk to Lisa outside. She says James is obnoxious. When she came in, he was yelling and flapping his arms, and everyone was looking. Lisa asks James what’s going on. He says nothing and she’s not buying it. He says there’s drama with bitches and she tells him not to talk like that. He asks why. She tells him he’s turning into an a-hole right before her eyes. She tells him he doesn’t understand what a civilized conversation is. He says he doesn’t appreciate her feeding in to what everyone is telling her. She says he’s not Calvin Harris. She tells him that when he’s creating a problem and raising his voice at her business, he needs to stop talking, but he continues to argue with her. She tells him to go spin his little disks and shut up, because she’s close to telling him to go home. In her interview, she says they’ve given him a million chances and this is how he repays them.

Outside during their break, Schwartz asks Ariana to be a groomsman. He says there’s a catch though. He tells her about the dinner he made for Jax and Tom and gives her some leftovers. We flash back to how he had put the food in and around a certain body part before cooking it. He tells her it’s official now.

James approaches Tom at the bar. Man bun alert! James suggests they have a shot, and Tom says only if he’s going home, since he wants him to keep his job. James claims everything is cool. Lisa sees them and tells James to go back to the booth. She tells Tom this is crazy, and he has to put his foot down. Ken takes James outside and says he’s drunk and getting one warning. James starts crying. Ken tells him he’d best not disrespect Lisa and they both tell him to go home.

The next day, James comes to Lisa’s to apologize. She asks what he has to say for himself and wonders what happened to the guy she knew. She tells him he’s turned into a drunken a-hole. He asks what to do. She says he’s not working for her any longer, and not coming into SUR or PUMP. He tells her that it’s crazy, and she says she’s given him more chances than anyone else would have. She tells him he needs to sober up. He starts crying (omg – these baby men) and says it’s hard. She says he should never have another drink in his life, and tells him to go. In her interview, Lisa says she did what she could. She’ll always support James, but refuses to enable him.

Next time, Tom tells Jax that he’s an instigator, Lala confronts James, and Katie and Schwartz argue. Basically, nothing new.

November 27, 2016 – We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Squid Ink & Tara’s Oceanside Vacation

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Gold ties up one of Blue’s fairy nuns, poof! in a puff of red smoke. The Evil Queen joins him. He wants her to take care of Zelena, but she’s not willing to kill her sister for him. He claims he’s come to his senses as far as Belle loving him is concerned. Gold says he’s going to send a message via fairy and dumps some gold sprinkles on the nun, making her turn old.

Belle tells the group that Gold is going to do the same thing to her to speed the baby along. She says he’s trying to scare her into going back to him, but it’s still a no.

Back in the day, Rumpelstiltskin brings a baby to Belle, asking her to take care of it. She asks where its parents are, but Rumpel says it doesn’t matter, the baby is his now. Belle realizes he stole the child, and wonders what happened to him to make him so awful. She asks the baby’s name, but he says you don’t waste a name on something you’re not going to become attached to. She asks what he’s going to do with the baby. He says he’ll be back at sundown and don’t even think of hiding it.

Back in Storybrooke, Belle finds a book on defeating the Dark One. It tells her to follow the strand. Voila! She look down and there’s a red strand in the form of a glowing red ribbon. She follows it. It leads to the shears, but they disappear when she tries to take them. She says she’s in the dreamworld and her son appears. He’s come to warn her. He says she followed the strand of his fate, and his father intends to use the shears. He tells her the answer is inside of her and she has to move quickly.

Snow and Jasmine grade papers. Jasmine thinks Aladdin found a way to find Agribah, but she’s worried about what the price will be for finding it. Snow tells her to be the princess she was meant to be.

Emma and Belle peruse the book Belle was looking at. Hook says the magic is in the ink and Emma thinks she can extract it.

Back at ye olde palace, Belle reads a story to Nameless Baby. She wonders what Rumpel is planning. She leaves, carrying the sleeping baby in a basket.

The Evil Queen visits Zelena. She says Gold sent her, and suggests they take it outside. In the backyard, the Evil Queen tells Zelena enough games; let’s end it. She slams Zelena up against a shed, but as she’s about to finish her off, she clutches her heart. Regina is standing behind her and says it’s her heart. She’s willing to crush it to stop her twin. Zelena tells her it’s because of Rumpel, who says it’s either her or him. Regina says he lied. The Evil Queen has a hole in her heart, and she’s so desperate, she believed him. She tells the Evil Queen they’re done with her, and she disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Hook goes to Gold’s shop. Gold is about to zap him, but Emma gets him first, and using the squid ink, puts Gold in freeze mode. Emma and Hook start to look for the shears, and Emma has a vision. She’d thought they’d stopped, and it throws her totally off-balance. In the meantime, Gold becomes animated again and leaves the shop.

Gold finds Belle, telling her that he’s far too powerful to be beaten by squid ink. She tells him it’s never going to happen, and he says he can’t lose another son. Belle stumbles backward into the elevator. She asks why he’s doing this. He says he can never be who she wants him to be. He says when they met, he told her that he was a difficult man to love, but he’s come to believe that he’s actually a man no one can love. With his son, he can start over. Belle says she never wanted him to be perfect, just to try. He says he did and look what happened. He thinks all they have is magic, and she reminds him that it comes with a price. She says he’ll lose her forever and asks if that’s a price he’s willing to pay.

In olden times, Belle takes the baby to library tower. She sees an incantation from the Black Fairy. She wonders out loud what Rumpel would need with that, and Rumpel appears, saying it’s for him to know and her not to find out. He says he doesn’t speak fairy, but he has her. He makes the baby disappear, and says she can stay there for a while, in case she has any ideas about stopping him.

Regina heals Zelena’s wounds. Zelena says she should have been the one to reach out, but Regina says she didn’t come here to apologize; she came to steal something for a spell to reverse the fairy’s aging. When Zelena questions why she didn’t just ask for help, Regina says she didn’t think Zelena could be trusted after what she’s done. Zelena realizes that Regina still holds her responsible for Robin’s death and asks what about forgiveness. Regina says she can do a lot, even spare Zelena’s life, but can never forgive her.

Jasmine rubs the lamp that Aladdin gave her, and a gold cuff pops out, poof! in a cloud of yellow smoke, but Aladdin tells her the genie has been freed. He puts the cuff on himself. She tells him he’ll be a prisoner of the lamp now, but he thinks it can help them find Agribah. He tells her let’s find out and goes into the lamp. I wonder if it has tiny couch inside, like in I Dream of Jeannie.

The Evil Queen lambastes Gold. She tells him even if he could be the person Belle wanted him to be, how long would it last? She says this time, Belle has a child to protect, and she’ll do what she should have done long ago. Leave and take the child, and he’ll be alone. He tells her to look in the mirror, and not to question him again. He says they’re done and to get out.

In the tower, Belle bangs at the door with a metal thing. She calls for help. She opens the little window in the door, and the Blue Fairy flies in. Belle says she needs Blue to get her out. Blue says they have to stop Rumpel before he gets to the Black Fairy, who stopped defending the children she was supposed to protect and started stealing them. Rumpel is going to use the baby to lure her. Blue says Belle is the only one who can help. She opens the door and Belle scurries out.

At Granny’s, Hook tells Emma that they have to make sure Gold can’t use the magic on Belle. Belle sips tea while Hook grills Emma about her vision. She tells him that there was something new. The sword used to kill her had a glowing red jewel in it. Belle says something about the tea, and she’s suddenly about to give birth.

In the enchanted forest, Rumpel does an incantation to bring forth the Black Fairy. She’s very punk looking. He tells her she can’t have the baby yet and she asks who summons her. He squid ink freezes her and she realizes who he is. She says squid ink won’t hold her long. He brings out a dagger as back-up, and asks why she abandoned the one child that was hers. She says it can’t be and he says it can, mother. Hard to believe Rumpel was once a baby. He says she didn’t even bother to give him a name. He asks why she abandoned him. She says she’s surprised he’d even ask, and sometimes you have to choose power over love. She tells him time’s up, and he’ll just have to keep on wondering. She flies off and Belle is standing there with the baby.

She says he didn’t deserve what the fairy did, but sacrificing an innocent child isn’t the answer, no matter how much pain he’s in. He says no one knows anything about his pain and woe is him, and disappears, poof! in cloud of scarlet smoke.

Fast forward to Gold saying behind every pita there’s a fairy. He tries to go toward the house where Belle is giving birth, and is held back by fairy magic.

With Emma and the aged fairy in attendance, Belle goes into her dreamworld and meets her son on a swing set. She says his father’s coming and will use the shears. She needs to know what to do, but he says she already knows. She jumps up and says she can’t. He says there’s no other way; they’re out of time. She says she loves him more than anything, and he says he won’t ever forget it. He tells her not to forget the book. As she asks what book? she’s back in the bed pushing.

Belle has her son. She’s asked for Blue, and says she needs her help. She asks if Blue will be his fairy godmother, and take him somewhere safe and far away. She says it’s her sons only chance. She thinks it will be over someday, but until then, she wants distance between him and Storybrooke. Blue agrees and takes the baby. Belle gives Blue a book to read to him so he knows where he came from. She tells him she loves him and blah-blah- blah, stuff you would say in that position.

Gold enters, but Blue is already gone with the baby. Foiled again! He looks out the window and sees Blue soaring away. He accuses Belle of abandoning their son. She says she gave him his best chance at a good life and tells Gold that it’s over. Belle says he can do what he wants with her, but he’ll never find their son. Gold says he will, and leaves.

In the old days, A couple gets their son back from Belle as Rumpel watches. Foiled again in the past!

Gold goes into his shop and the Evil Queen asks if someone lost another son. He tells her don’t, and she says Belle really hates him now. He tells her to go, and she says she’s waited a long time to see what happens when you poison your love. He says she did it. She says she did the legwork with the tea, but he forced her hand. She says just tell Belle, no, wait, she won’t believe him. He tells her she crossed the line and he’ll make sure she pays. The Evil Queen says she’s not too concerned. He says he plays a very long game, and she’s nothing more than another pawn. She tells him good luck finding his son – again – adding that fairies make wonderful mothers.

Gold is abashed and beaten. He trashes his place, smashing everything.

Hook says Regina was able to reverse the aging spell on the fairy, and Belle is as good as expected after what happened. Emma says that’s why she keeps fighting. Belle remnded her why she doesn’t run. She wants to help her family and friends. Hook knows the vision is still getting to her. She suggest they find out what really happened to her.

They go into Gold’s shop, and Emma says someone had a temper tantrum. She sees the sword that was in her dream. When she touches it, she has a vision. She says this is the sword that will kill her. Now that they have it, they can find out who’s responsible and stop them.

Next time, be careful what you wish for, Emma disappears, and the course of fairy tale could be altered forever.

The Walking Dead

A zombie flounders on the beach and gets a stick in his head for his trouble. A child and young woman are walking on the beach. The child sees another one, but as she’s about to stab it, the woman says to wait. She says the woman isn’t “a bobber,” she’s alive.The child wants to do it anyway, but is told that they don’t have to if they don’t tell anyone. She asks if the child is going to be a snitch. The child says no, but she’s not going to help.

It’s Tara washed up on shore. The woman drags her in.

Two rusty cans of okra and a bottle of aspirin are all Tara and Heath could find on their run. Heath says it’s been two weeks. They need ammo and medicine and there are people counting on him. He talks about all the people they killed just for some milk and corn. He says you take what you can and take out who you have to and keep going, but no one is in this together anymore. Tara says it only hurts because he knows it’s bullsh*t. Heath says it’s him, her, and whoever else wants to stay alive. He tells her that after today, they go back.

The woman from the beach looks at a map. She brings water, a weapon, and something wrapped in a cloth to Tara. Tara is still unconscious, so she leaves everything next to her. When she’s gone, Tara drinks some water, watching from behind a huge tangle of driftwood. She finds dried fish in the cloth. She follows the woman while keeping her distance.

They go through a forest. Tara sees some women talking while carrying baskets into a cabin. Children are playing outside, and it looks like it was once some kind of resort. It’s now a mini-colony called Oceanside. Tara stealthily checks the place out. Looks like it’s also all women.

Something is happening. Several women go inside a shed that houses weapons and come running out with guns, and the rest flee inside. They start shooting at Tara. She runs and they chase her. One catches up but falls. Tara gets the gun, but doesn’t shoot her. She continues to run. The kid from the beach confronts Tara, saying they’re supposed to. The woman who was with her calls her name, Rachel, and stops her.

The rest surround Tara with their guns drawn. Tara says hi, she’s cool, and not here to hurt anyone. The young woman, whose name is Cindy, tells them to put their guns down, but she’s told to get away. Tara says sorry, she just stumbled in, and didn’t even realize she was in. The women continue to aim their guns at her.

In the backstory, Heath and Tara stand on top of a dumpster and survey some possible scavenging. Heath says it looks like there are a lot of blind spots, but they jump down. I would break my ankle for sure if I did that. They look around for a while and go past some tarps that are hanging across part of the road. They see a humongous dump truck that has dropped a load of sand. Tara starts pulling at something in it. Heath is digging around with his foot and finds a ton of bullets. Just as he’s about to tell her Tara, the tug she makes causes the sand to shift and come tumbling down. The sand hill is filled with zombies.

They fight them off, but the struggle is real. Heath and Tara get separated in the melee. Tara gets cornered.

Back at the seashore, a lady asks Tara if she needs to use the bathroom before they begin, but Tara indicates that she’s handcuffed to a radiator. There are several women there, and the speaker, Natanya, introduces the others as Cathy and Beatrice, and Cindy, the woman from the beach. Tara asks about the bells she heard, and Natanya explains their alarm system. She says that they were lucky the place was relatively clear to begin with. She asks Tara where she’s from. Tara tells her Atlanta originally, but she’s been traveling with a companion for a few years, and they’ve been working on fishing boats. Natanya asks a few questions and asks how she got there. Tara explains that they were attacked by zombies, she ended up falling off of a bridge and the current brought her there. She says she followed Cindy back from the beach to see if she could get help. She’s asked why she was sneaking around and Tara says she wanted to see if it was safe – and she’s still not sure. Natanya says they usually shoot strangers on sight. Tara says if they just point her in the right direction, she’s gone. I have no idea why these people aren’t satisfied with her answers. Natanya says give them a while and maybe they’ll have a brainstorm as to what to do with this anomaly.

Beatrice fetches Tara, taking her to Natanya’s house. Natanya formally introduces Cindy, who is also her granddaughter, and Tara thanks Cindy for what she did. She says she was trying to show Rachel. Natanya assumes she means how to kill zombies, but Tara knows that she was also teaching her compassion. Everyone sits to eat. Nice dishware.

Natanya says she’s hoping to convince Tara to stay. They can keep their village a secre,t and she can put down roots. She says if they can find Heath, he can stay too. Tara says forgive her, but where are all the men? Natanya says there was a skirmish with another group, and none of them made it. They lost others too. After that, they decided to protect themselves no matter what. They left with nothing except the clothes on their backs. They found this place, and could stay hidden and alive. She hopes Tara understands why they shoot first and don’t bother asking questions. Natanya tells Tara that she knows she was lying about her past, and asks her to tell the truth.

Tara tells her about Alexandria, and how they did things just like they do in Oceanside. She talks about taking out the Saviors, and how they got what they deserved. She says they didn’t do it to make the world a better place, but they did it to stay alive. Tara thinks the women shouldn’t be hiding though. She says if they keep seeing everyone as an enemy, that’s all they’ll find. If they band together, they can keep each other safe.

Natanya suggests sending a guide with Tara to find Heath, and then on to her community. Cindy wants to go, but Natanya tells her no, because she didn’t follow the rules. She says if it works out, there will be other chances, and if not, she doesn’t want her going. Tara says there will be other chances.

Tara gets ready to leave. Cindy is in the cabin sulking, and Natanya sees her off. Beatrice and Cathy go with her. A zombie is stuck in a tangle of tree branches, and Tara says she’s on it, but Beatrice shoots at her and she runs. She tumbles down a hill and stays there, holding her knife. She watches as Cathy comes by with a gun and jumps her. She does not win the battle.

Tara says she could have killed Cathy back in the village, but she didn’t, and to return the favor. Cathy says Tara’s people are all dead. She says that was just a Savior outpost where they killed the people, and Tara has no idea what they did. She says if the Saviors know about her friends, it’s already too late. Tara asks if the Saviors were the ones who killed their men. Cathy says they tried to fight, but lost, and every male over the age of ten was lined up and shot in the head. They were supposed to work for Negan, but they left in the middle of the night. She says Tara will lead the Saviors back to them. She’s about to shoot Tara, when Cindy intercepts her, and Tara takes off.

Cindy calls after her to wait. Cindy aims her gun, but Tara says she’s saved her three times, she isn’t going to shoot. Cindy wants Tara to swear she won’t tell anyone about them, even her own people. Tara asks why she would do that? Cindy asks why they killed all those people? She says they didn’t really have to, and nobody’s evil; they just decide to forget who they are. Tara says some people are evil. She’s seen it, and that’s why she has to go back. Cindy asks her to swear.

Tara says she swears. Cindy gives her a pack of food and water. She says it will take Tara to the bridge, and try not to fall off this time.

Cindy takes Tara back where she was at the dumpsters. Tara tells Cindy to just go back and say that Tara attacked her. Cindy says Cathy and Beatrice will be coming, and she has a gun and ammo. Tara asks why she’s different from the others, and Cindy asks why Tara is.

They sneak around and whack a sand zombie in the head. Cindy is grabbed by a surprise zombie from a car, and Tara nails that one. This alerts two other sand zombies to their presence, and all of a sudden, there are tons of them. More than I think could have fit in that sand pile. Cindy and Tara run along the tops of the cars. Cindy covers Tara as she runs the sand zombie gauntlet. Cindy runs out of of ammo just as Tara gets to the other side.

Tara has a flash back, remembering Heath running out of ammo. She tells him to leave her, but he won’t and she gets pushed back and falls off the bridge. Back in the present, Tara dodges sand and car zombies, one of which gets an eerie bead on her. She looks in between the dumpsters and sees Cindy being led away. She sees Heath’s glasses on the ground. And fresh tire tracks nearby. She says, maybe that was you, then sees a hotel room key with PPP on it, and adds she hopes it was.

Tara scavenges something from a boat and sees a gift shop. Wanting to purchase some sunglasses, or perhaps take a break from the zombies stumbling around outside, she goes in and checks the place out. She eats some of the dried fish that Cindy packed for her. She finds a shell bracelet in the backpack.

Holy! She did get sunglasses. Bright orange ones.

Eugene looks through his binoculars and opens the gate. Tara enters. He stands there and cries.

Rosalie says she’s sorry, and Tara says she’s sorry too. She asks if Tara has any leads. She says she doesn’t care how dangerous it is, she’ll go. She says they can make it right; they have to. Tara says they can’t, and she didn’t see anything like that up there, making good on her promise to Cindy

Next time, Negan and the Saviors (sounds like a band) return, but so does Jesus, so it’s not all bad.

 

November 25, 2016 – All Zs All the Time, Plus a Few Quotes

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Z Nation

Doc and Addie have split up. Doc to find Roberta, and Addie to find Lucy.

Kaya shows Citizen Z some weird humans who are behaving zombie-ish. Like the one that was after Lucy last week. They discuss a guy who’s been working on vaccines, but have heard nothing from Operation Bite Mark except for the occasional Murphy rant. Citizen Z wonders if the world is emptier

Doc comes across a castle (!). He investigates while listening to a woman reciting Poe on the radio. This is an awesome piece of property. He locks eyes with a zombie who has all kinds of gems an studs embedded into him. Doc tries to shoot, but the bullets bounce off. Oh sh*t! moment. Doc is trapped and there are two more zombies coming. All decorated the same way, like members of a strange motorcycle gang.

There’s a sound like someone banging on a pan, and the zombies leave. Three women approach Doc.

Doc lies on bed and the women watch him. He asks if he’s dead, and they tell him good morning. One of them says he’s safe, another says he had a bad sunburn, but her ointment will make it disappear. They introduce themselves as Sarah, Linda and Camilla. Doc says it’s like zombie Christmas out there, and he’s told that happens to be Sarah’s forte – bedazzling. Doc asks if it’s their radio he heard, and Camilla says that he probably heard her radio show. She recites poetry and is a poet herself. The ladies tend to Doc’s beard and hair. He finds out they have a solar-powered transmitter and asks if he can use it to contact someone. Sarah asks if he has a girlfriend. He says no, and explains that he got separated from his group. Sarah has given him a man bun, and he has the same reaction I do to one.

Doc tries to get Citizen Z on the radio. The women ask what mission he’s on, but he’s not at liberty to say anything except that the fate of humanity lies in the balance. Linda asks what he and his group do for fun, and he says it’s been a while. Sarah starts to massage his shoulders, and we see that the wire on the back of the radio is detached.

Citizen Z hears something on the radio and asks if anyone copies. Kaya thinks he’s nuts, but he says he knows he heard something.

All of a sudden, the radio Doc is on goes dark. Sarah says sometimes the battery won’t hold a charge, but they can try again tomorrow. They bring Doc to the zen room. I guess they’re a very small artist colony? And apparently haven’t seen a living man in a while. Doc sits in the garden and the ladies bring him food. Linda explains that they’re self-sufficient, and Sarah tells him there’s nothing they don’t have and nothing they can’t do. Doc is impressed with their culinary skills. Linda plays footsie with him.

The women ask Doc questions and vie for his attention. They finally leave as he finishes his food. He goes back to the castle where they wait on him. He hears Sarah calling “here, kitty,” and he says he hasn’t seen one in years. Linda says neither have they. Sarah puts some food down and zombies come to eat. They’ve been given cat’s names and are somewhat trained. One wears the cone of shame because he won’t stop trying to eat himself.

Doc gets cornered by a zombie and shoves its spike adorned head into the wall. He says sorry, but Linda says there’s more where that came from. Linda plays the organ while Camilla reads poetry. Sarah asks Doc if he’d like to see her scrapbook. She was an accountant before the apocalypse and likes to keep a record of things. She takes a scrap of clothing from each of the zombies, causing Doc to think about 10K counting his kills, and wonders if he’s all right. There are some rather grisly souvenirs of Sarah’s relatives as well. Doc wants to get away to bed, but the ladies think the night is still young and offer him some homegrown. He asks if they’re angels of mercy.

Doc finally gets to bed, but not before removing his man bun. He hears the doorknob to his room rattle. He slowly moves toward the door. It’s Sarah with a glass of milk that she milked herself. She says she’s just one room over if he needs anything. Next is Camilla with her book of poetry. It’s meant to be read in the nude, because that’s how she wrote it. Actually, she doesn’t have much on right now. Linda comes in with a sword and worried that she’s going to kill him, he says he has people depending on him including a little blue girl. Linda says if she wanted to kill him, he’d be dead, but she brought the sword in case he needs it during the night. He quadruple locks the door when she leaves.

It doesn’t matter. All three women get in somehow and join Doc in bed. He tells himself to walk away before he ends up pickled in a jar. Then again, it’s the apocalypse.

It must have been quite a night. Doc extracts himself from the tangle, but can’t find his clothes. Donning a pink robe, he washes his face while thinking things over. He sees finger parts in the sink, but before he can even comprehend it, he hears something on the transistor radio and tries the transmitter again. Linda follows him, saying she wishes he hadn’t seen that and Doc runs for it.

Linda chases after him. The zombies pop out of the woods and he runs back to the house. He realizes that a lot of the crafts around the place are made of skulls and skin. He runs to the basement with Linda still after him. He sees a half-bedazzled zombie in chains, people in stocks, and a guy with weed growing out of his head. Doc says he must be in the hobby lobby of hell. A guy chained to a table begs him for help. Doc asks why the cute ones are always crazy. The guy tells him to run while he still has legs. Doc gives him a means to free himself and gets moving again. The three women confront him, wearing masks of human skin. They look like missing members of Slipknot.

Linda asks if he’s leaving without saying good-by. Sarah shoots a bedazzling gun at him. He threatens to shred her scrapbook. Linda attacks him, saying pain is a beautiful thing. She head butts him, Camilla hits him with a hammer and Sarah shoots another bedazzle at him. Lucky for Doc, the people from the basement come upstairs just in time to stop Linda from using a meat clever on him. He bangs on a pan near the door and let’s the outside zombies in. Chaos ensues.

Doc runs to where the radio is and hot wires it. Citizen Z is trying to get in touch, and Doc gets through. Citizen Z asks where they are. Doc says he has an emergency message for Roberta that The Man has kidnapped Lucy. He says Roberta is headed to Spokane to stop Murphy, but this changes everything. The women break the door down, but Doc is nowhere to be seen. Until they look up.

It’s tea time. Doc is climbing up the radio tower with the zombies below. Linda and the others kibbutz while drinking tea. He says he likes his skin on his bones where it belongs and he’s not coming down. Sarah tells him there’s a cup of tea for him if he changes his mind.

Doc kicks the connection to the tower off and starts to swing the tower until it falls. Just before it hits the ground, he flings himself off. He runs away, wearing the pink robe and his underwear.

Citizen Z tries to get Roberta on the radio. Kaya got coordinates to a place where they think The Man is contacting Zona. Kaya says what if they can’t reach Roberta in time or she doesn’t have a radio. Road trip?

Doc finds a zombie stuck with a bicycle in some trees. He kills the zombie, takes the bike and plucks the bedazzle out of himself.

Linda and the ladies clean up the tower mess. Sarah finds some of Doc’s beard hair and puts in it in her scrapbook. The one that got away.

Next time, 10K is about to assassinate Roberta and the day Murphy said would come, is here.

Quotes of the Week

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. – Aristotle (I know a lot of people on Facebook that should heed that right now.)

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.William Arthur Ward

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! –  Dr. Seuss

 

November 23, 2016 – A Very GH Thanksgiving

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Whatever Dillon is looking for (I missed it) is gone and a ransom note is in its place, instructing him to go to the Quartermaine living room or whatever they call it in a mansion. Monica’s tennis racket has met the same fate, as well as Ned’s gold record. Dillon wonders who would take their most cherished items. Tracy enters and says they’ll get them back after they celebrate Thanksgiving as a happy family.

Laura calls Lulu. We actually hear her on the other end of the phone, which I don’t think has ever happened before. She’s going to be late. Dante gets a call from Sonny, who says he’s fine and getting used to the accessory. Dante tells him not to mess around with it, and I have visions of him putting it on the family dog. If they had one. He asks if Sonny wants them to bring him some dinner, but Sonny thinks Lulu wouldn’t be too happy if they left. And besides, he’d rather just drink. He doesn’t say that, but it’s obvious that his Thanksgiving meal is going to consist of bourbon in a short glass. Sonny tells Dante to celebrate with his family, but Dante doesn’t like him being alone.

Carly forgot it’s Thanksgiving, but Nell has gone shopping for dinner.

Sonny tells Dante that he has plenty to keep him busy with the games on TV. Dante says he knows things are hard right now, but they’re family, so if Sonny needs him, just call. Sonny opens the door and Laura is standing there. Surprise!

Alexis asks Julian what he’s doing at the dive bar. I see the name of it is Gene’s not Gent’s, making me wonder if I need glasses. Julian tells her not to let let him stop her, and she says she wouldn’t dream of it.

Tracy asks if they thought they could skip out on a family Thanksgiving. Ned says how dare he forego pizza and her nagging? She insists they’re having turkey with all the fixings. Dillon says it always ends in disaster, and Ned asks if she’s serious. Dillon gets drinks and Monica gets the pizza menu.

Carly apologizes, and Michael says she doesn’t have to be so strong all the time. Josslyn tells her that everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes, even moms. Jax has cooked all of her favorites. Man, send that guy over here.

Laura apologizes for not coming to see Sonny sooner. (Say that three times real fast.) She doesn’t want to intrude, but it’s not like Sonny has anything going on. She says that Dante and Lulu would love to come by, and he says he just talked to Dante. He can’t go anywhere and Laura says it’s a hard time. He says he talked to Spencer, who told him that he’s going to be president of his class. Laura tells him that Spencer created the position. Ha-ha! She says there’s still a lot to be grateful for. He says the holiday is a reminder of what you’re missing. She says if anyone would know how she feels, it’s him.

Alexis orders a double. She tells Julian he’s in her space and he’s violating a court order. He says he’ll get out of her space as soon as he calls Sam and tells her what’s on Alexis’s menu. I wonder if Alexis forgot she went out for whipped cream already because I did until he said that.

Lulu is in cahoots with Dante and Doc about a surprise. Maxie asks if they’re breaking up again.

Jax promises that Carly will be dazzled by his culinary skills. Carly wants to double-check things in the kitchen, but he won’t let her. The doorbell rings. It’s Olivia. She has some paperwork to give Carly, and is surprised that she isn’t with Sonny.

Sonny tells Laura it’s his own fault he’s alone. She asks if that’s what Morgan would want, and says whether he likes it or not, he has people who care about him. She tells him that some of them might be scattered right now, but when they come back, let them in, don’t push them away. The death of a child isn’t something anyone should endure alone.

Alexis tells Julian that tattling on her is rich. He asks how she’s going to explain that she prefers the company of barflys to her family. She says his repeated attempts to kill her would drive anyone to drink, and he asks if she’s finding answers at the bottom of a glass. She asks him what’s the big deal, and he asks her why she’s hiding it. She says she doesn’t have to answer to him or his creepy texts. He says what it amounts to is stopping her downward spiral.

Tracy is happy that everyone is together, but sorry Finn and Hayden couldn’t join them. She’s researched fun activities for Thanksgiving, and asks if anyone would like to play a board game. Ned tells her the June Cleaver act is too weird. Dillon cries extortion. Tracy says she was just trying to do something good after a crummy year, and here’s their stuff back. She tells them there’s a lizard she’d rather spend the holiday with. I assume she’s referring to Roxie, but I’m not positive.

Laura shows up at Lulu’s and Maxie tells her they have to keep Dante and Lulu from breaking up. Dante says they’re not breaking up, they’re getting married.

Michael says he knows his mom is happy to have the family around. Nell says even if Sonny isn’t there? Carly tells Olivia that Sonny isn’t responsible for the bomb that killed Morgan. Olivia says this changes everything. Sonny did what she asked. She tells Carly to think of all the people who’ve asked him to change his ways. He wouldn’t do it for any of them, but he did it for her. She sees that Jax is there and tells them to have a good holiday.

Sonny drinks alone. He thinks back to Carly telling him she loved him. He brings up her number on his phone and stares at it for a while before calling. Nell sees who’s calling and is about to get Carly, but sees her hugging Jax.

Alexis tells Julian her life is a mess and she feels like she’s falling apart. Sam is happy and she doesn’t want her bothered. She says he’s right, she knows she’s drinking too much, but don’t make a bigger deal out of it than it is. She asks to keep it between them and puts her hand over his.

Lulu tells everyone that she and Dante are getting married today. She says they have everything they need, even an officiant. Doc is now an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church online. Maxie says she wishes she’d thought of it. Olivia comes running in and asks what she missed.

Tracy says she doesn’t want to spend Thanksgiving with people who are just waiting for it to be over. Monica suggests she drop the word normal from the conversation. She says it’s important for them to stick together, and Ned thanks Tracy. Dillon tells her happy Thanksgiving.

Nell considers answering Carly’s phone. Sonny leaves a message. He says their children are lucky to have a mom like her. Nell eavesdrops on Carly and Jax. Carly says maybe she’s not being fair to Sonny. Nell starts to leave and Michael catches her, asking where she’s going.

Julian asks Alexis what she’s doing. He says she needs help, and maybe she should talk to someone. When Julian is the voice of reason, you know something is wrong. He suggests Diane or Jax, and says she can always talk to him. She says she’d rather die. She says she’s never turning to him for anything again. She says she might have a problem, but he has a bigger one. He says she thinks she knows everything about him. She says she knows his children hate him and she hates him, but she has a family that loves her and she’s getting her career back. He says he worries about her prospective clients.

Michael asks if Nell is taking off. She says she has a friend who’s alone, so she made plans with them. She leaves.

Carly asks Jax if it’s wrong to grieve Morgan together with Sonny. Jax says she’s talking about getting back together with him, to be careful.

Olivia calls Ned. She’s shocked they’re having turkey instead of pizza. Monica can’t believe it’s really happening. Tracy says Cook used a special brine. Ned says it doesn’t smell like turkey, like they’d know. Monica stops them from eating. She says she noticed a full container labeled “brine” in the refrigerator and an empty container labeled “bacteria” on the counter and goes to get the pizza menu. Maybe Cook needs a vacation.

Lulu is wearing a gorgeous deep red strapless gown and carries matching flowers. Doc starts the ceremony.

Dillon thanks Monica for saving them from being poisoned.

Lulu says she’s learned that falling in love and taking vows is just the beginning. Love requires work and dedication. She says she’ll take care of Dante and Rocco, keep them safe, and love them today and every day.

At the Quartermaines, they go around the table saying what they’re thankful for. Tracy is thankful for GH’s resurrection. Ned is thankful for her filling Edward and Lila’s shoes.

At Carly’s place, Jax is thankful for everyone in his life. Josslyn thanks them for being her parents, Michael for teaching her to ride a bike, and Morgan for teaching her that if she falls down, she can get back up. Michael is thankful for his family – those who are here and those who can’t be. He asks if Carly has anything to say, and she sees Sonny in place of Jax on the couch.

Dante and Lulu exchange vows and rings. Doc pronounces them husband and wife.

Carly says she’s grateful for all of them, and wonders where Nell is. Michael says there’s someone she needed to see. At Sonny’s place, he opens the door to find Nell there.

The pizza arrives, and Dillon says it’s really Thanksgiving now. Tracy says it feels like they’re forgetting something, and they sing We Gather Together, almost making me cry. Ned leaves a slice of pizza by Edward and Lila’s picture and I lose it.

Nell tells Sonny she felt out of place at Carly’s, and he invites her in. Sonny says Carly has Michael to lean on, and Nell says, and Jax.

Michael and Josslyn go to the kitchen to slice the pie, and Carly thanks Jax. He says Nell did the shopping, and Carly says she’s really good to them.

Sonny is like, what? and Nell says she probably misunderstood. He asks if something happened between Jax and his wife.

Carly tells Jax that she thought she knew how she felt about Sonny, but now she’s not sure.

Nell tells Sonny that it was probably nothing. Carly is in a lot of pain, and Jax is just there to help her. Sonny gets loud and says she has to tell him right now. She says she saw them kissing. Sonny looks for the family dog. Just kidding.

Julian asks another bar patron for his phone, telling him his companion is in no condition to drive, but when he turns around, Alexis is gone. She jets through the parking lot and gets into her car. Julian runs after her, telling her not to drive. He stupidly stands in front of the car, and instead of backing up, she hits the accelerator. God help me, I laugh when he flies up in the air.

Tomorrow, a rerun from Thanksgiving 2014; On Friday, football; On Monday, Jordan asks Andre if he kept Curtis’s call from her, Sonny asks Nell if Jax is sleeping with his wife, and Alexis tells Julian not to die on her instead of just getting the hell out of there.

📻 Little Women: LA is done for the season, and Bravo has reruns tonight. There’s a new show on Lifetime called Little Weddings that I’m going to check out. Little Women: Dallas is only half-promising. It started off well, but is already degenerating into a little battleground.

🏈 Hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving and that no one mistakes the refrigerated bacteria for turkey brine. See you on Friday for Z Nation. SyFy is also having a Z Nation marathon before the new episode.

November 22, 2016 – A Quartermaine Streak is Broken, Alex Makes a Break for It & the Valor Breaks a Tip Record

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Thanksgiving begins. Jordan and Andre stop b Kelly’s where TJ is working. He’s working toward his college education, and Andre offers to help with the applications. Jordan asks if he has any pies left and he does. Everyone is going to Alexis’s for dinner. Jordan says she’s thankful for TJ. Andre says he’s thankful for her.

Alexis thinks back to last year’s Thanksgiving with Julian, while Molly does some cooking. Kristina brings wine, but Molly reminds her of Alexis’s promise not to drink along with Sam. Sam arrives with the green bean casserole. She tells the other two about the oven incident.

Julian talks on the phone, saying he’s heard “we’re partners” before. Ava brings Avery to the MetroCourt to celebrate Thanksgiving with Kiki who’s working. She says they had an early rush and she’s about ready for her break, so perfect timing. Ava goes to talk to Scotty and Kiki explains wishbones to Avery.

Dillon is on the phone. He says sorry, they’ll have to eat pizza without him, since he has to work. Geez, half of Port Charles is working on Thanksgiving.

Ava asks Scotty how it went, and he says Lucy is smarter than the average bear. She knew he was scamming her for the pills, but he’s going to handle it today. I gotta say, Avery, although big for her age, is very cute. She’s more animated than the usual toddler. I see a future for that one.

Curtis stops by Kelly’s and is surprised to see TJ working. TJ asks Curtis what’s up, and he says he and Valerie are done. He’s ordering the turkey special and watching football. He says nationally televised sports means you never heave to be alone. TJ suggests he go to Alexis’s with him.

Sam says Jason and Danny are staying home to watch football. Maybe they should get together with Curtis. They talk about Sam’s new baby, and Kristina is going to The Rocky Horror Picture Show later. I’m not kidding. She said she’s going to a special showing. Nothing says Thanksgiving like RHPS. She tells them that she got a note from Parker saying sorry about Morgan. Sam says they should all be thankful for one another, and Alexis says she doesn’t know what she’d do without them.

Scotty suggests Ava go to the bar, have some ‘tinis and dinner, and he’ll be back before she knows it.

Julian gripes to whoever he’s talking to that it’s a holiday and then says he’ll see what he can do.

Alexis tells the girls that the bar is reconsidering her suspension. Not that bar, the Bar Association. She might actually be working in 2017. She has to stay out of trouble though. Kristina says she should have it in the bag then. Yeah, as long as she doesn’t get in the bag. BA-DUM-CHH!

Lucy tells Scotty she’s disappointed that he prefered Ava’s friendship to their long-standing one. He says he got her some good wine to make up for it. She’s like, btw, the guy you have breaking in is going to be disappointed, since she has the pills with her. He says she’s always a step ahead and that’s why he’s crazy about her. They kiss.

Avery gets the wish part of the wishbone. Kiki goes to look for another one. This was the biggest wishbone I have ever seen. What size turkeys are these from? Human sized? Julian approaches Ava’s table, and she says he must miss the family. He says no one has called or texted. She reminds him of last year, and says she never saw him happier than when he was surrounded by family.

Andre and Jordan arrive bearing liquor. Alexis joneses. They have a toast and Jordan thanks her for inviting them. Alexis says TJ is practically family. Alexis is given sparkling cider, which is a huge disappointment. TJ comes in and he’s brought Curtis with him. Andre looks bummed. Sam introduces Curtis to Alexis and her sisters. Alexis gets a text from Julian saying he misses them.

Dillon’s phone rings. It’s Tracy. He says he was talking to someone in Milan and has to explain that there’s no Thanksgiving there.

Kiki returns to Ava’s table. Julian wonders if they can set aside their issues and come together as a famiy, and she says no. He says Morgan’s death wasn’t his fault, and she tells him not to talk about that in front of Avery. She leaves the wishbone with him and Ava. Ava asks if he wants to talk about anything. She breaks the wishbone with him and he gets the short end. He wishes them a happy Thanksgiving and leaves. Ava tells Avery that on the bright side, she’s getting her wish.

Lucy and Scotty are rolling around on the bed. She says he’s not focused enough, and puts the pills in a safe in what looks like a mini-fridge. He says he thought they’d agreed to blackmail Ava, and she says he can’t risk him double-crossing her. He’s aghast that she doesn’t trust him, and he asks if she trusts that he wants her. She tells him to convince her.

It’s post dinner time at Alexis’s. Andre asks Jordan if she’d like to come to Chicago for the holidays. Curtis says meeting the family is a huge step and prelude to a proposal. Andre says maybe, and Jordan says let’s focus on dessert. Jordan tells Alexis that she noticed she’s not drinking, and Sam explains why. Jordan says she’s only asking because of what happened at Julian’s trial. Alexis says they’ve discussed it before, and she’d only had one glass of wine. Jordan thinks that Paul might have had something to do with it, and they’ll get to the truth eventually. I totally forgot about Paul already. Alexis sees everyone drinking and can’t stop focusing on it.

Lucy and Scotty bask in the afterglow. She says she’s very relaxed, and he says any differences they have always go out the window when they go to bed. She says she heard her phone and thinks it must be a real estate thing. It’s a message from Felicia who’s invited her to dinner. She jumps up to change. Scotty stares at the safe.

Ava asks if Kiki has seen Dillon. She says he was at Morgan’s funeral, but wanted to give her some space. Ava says men like that are hard to find. Kiki still feels responsible, and Ava says she shouldn’t feel like that. She has to get back to work and thanks Ava for bringing Avery. Ava says they’ll be seeing more of Avery since Sonny is in jail, and Kiki fills her in on the change to house arrest.

Alexis is messing with her phone and Sam asks for help whisking. Alexis ends up spilling the bowl because she needs a drink. She says that was the last of the cream, and that she’ll run out to get some more. She won’t come back without it. And several bottles of liqur.

Julian is in the dive bar. Grady shows up, and Julian says he wants the condo deal done yesterday. Grady says GH is bleeding money, but the new financial adviser is being given a chance before any decisions are made. He says Julian is going to face a PR nightmare because it’s a beloved institution. He asks if it’s worth it, and Julian says he doesn’t have a choice.

Lucy asks Scotty if he wants to come. He says maybe later, since he has work to do. She asks if he’s really running over to tell Ava that he didn’t score the pills, but he tells her that since he got Julian off the hook, his case load has tripled. She gives him an air kiss and leaves.

Kiki brings some food to Nina’s office and sees Dillon. He says he’s avoiding his family. He remembers last year when he and his dad blew out the power cooking the turkey. Yep, I remember that too. She tells him the restaurant ran out of roasted turkey, so she’s brought him a turkey burger.

Scotty goes to the MetroCourt. Ava tells him to give her the pill bottle, and he says he wishes he could. She gets distressed, but he says he figured out the combination to the room safe, and that everything is going to be okay. He says Lucy would have been suspicious if he took the bottle, so he did the next best thing.

The girls wonder how long it takes to pick up whipped cream. Sam says the stores are probably closed. They get a group text from Alexis saying that Diane and Max had a fight and she’s with Diane. I’ll just bet that Max and Diane show up at some point. Andre gets an emergency call about a patient. Jordan says his patients are crazy about him and doesn’t get it when Curtis and TJ laugh.

Alexis looks at the text from Julian while sitting at the dive bar. I guess she didn’t notice Julian when she came in?

Curtis says he has one more thing for Jordan to be grateful for – he’s out of a job. He and Julian didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. Jordan asks if he knows Sam because of Jason. She notes that he and Jason were both in the area at the time of the murder. She says she thought Curtis would call and let her know what was going on, and he says he called her right away.

Julian says good-by to Grady. He sees Grady to the door, and at first I think it’s the men’s room, but it turns out that the name of the bar is Gent’s. Julian sees Alexis sitting at the bar.

Scotty says he swapped out dumdum pills for the real McCoys. He got them from a drug dealer he’s representing who owed him a favor. She says Lucy still has the bottle and could give it to Carly and Sonny. Scotty tells her that they would just think she was seeing Morgan again and not have any idea what really happened. He tells her that she should be celebrating, and he’ll be looking for repayment.

Dillon tells Kiki that it’s perfect. He’ll be the first Quartermaine to eat turkey on Thanksgiving since 1994. Dillon breaks the streak! He explains that, no matter how hard they’ve tried, the Quartermaines have always ended up with pizza on Thanksgiving. Kiki tells him to enjoy his triumph. He asks her to join him, and she says there’s only one burger. He introduces her to the invention of the knife, and cuts it in half.

Jordan says Curtis never called. Curtis says he did. Andre asks if everything is okay. Jordan asks about his patient, and he says he has to call in a prescription. He walks away, and Jordan tells Curtis that she would have gotten the message. He says Andre picked up and said not to bother her any more. He says the doctor staked his claim, and maybe he was threatened by their rhythm. He suggests couples therapy and leaves.

Julian appraches Alexis. She asks what he’s doing there, and he says, don’t let me stop you.

Tomorrow, Olivia talks to Carly, Alexis asks Julian to keep it between them, and Tracy insists that everyone have a happy Thanksgiving.

If Loving You is Wrong

Marcie takes in the news that she’s pregnant. She tells the doctor she can’t have children, and the doctor says better tell that to the baby. She keeps asking if the doctor is sure, but the answer doesn’t change. Marcie says she has a lot going on, and the doctor offers a counselor. Marcie says she doesn’t need therapy; she has to go. The doctor doesn’t recommend it, but Marcie says her husband is in trouble. The doctor says not only is she putting the child in danger, she could have a stroke, but she can’t legally keep Marcie there.

Brad gets home and asks how the kids are. Kelly says they’re fine, and he asks what’s wrong with her. He thinks she’s afraid of him, but she says she never thought he did it; it’s something else. He asks about Marcie, and Kelly says she fainted while visiting Louise and is in the hospital. With soap opera timing, Marcie walks in. She tells them she’s fine and it was just all the excitement. Kelly tells her to sit while she makes something to eat.

Marcie tells Brad she’s sorry and he says for what. She says all of it. He asks for specifics and Kelly asks if he can’t see that she’s not well. Marcie says she’s sorry for thinking he could have been involved with the kidnapping, but Brad thinks there’s more. She says she knows he’s mad and she apologizes again, saying she shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. She says she hasn’t been handling anything very well. She explains why she thought what she did, and Brad acts like the idiot he is. He says he’s going to take a nap. At what? Midnight? She tells him not to pretend he doesn’t care, but he says he doesn’t. He says everyone will be fine, but Marcie doesn’t agree. He goes to check on the kids.

Kelly says it’s too much. Marcie thinks she shouldn’t have said anything, but Kelly says she did what she thought was best and it was the right thing. Marcie wants to go home. She says Brad doesn’t want her here. Kelly encourages her to stay, but Marcie says she can’t be there if Alex comes home. Like that’s happening. Kelly asks what the doctor said, and Marcie makes something up about needing to eat and rest, and her blood pressure being high. She tells Kelly she’s fine and to let it go. She tells Kelly that she has to get Louise’s purse and call the FBI. Kelly doesn’t like it; she says it’s bad over there. Marcie leaves anyway. Poor Kelly. She has her own damn set of problems.

Marcie sees the blood on the sidewalk leading to her house. Why isn’t there any crime scene tape? She goes inside and sees the bloody mess. She starts to cry. She wonders how this could happen.

Kelly tells Brad that Marcie might need him right now. She says that Marcie went next door and asks him to get her. She says she’d go herself, but it was too much for her. She thinks Marcie might be in danger and begs Brad to go get her.

Brad goes next door. Marcie asks who would do this? She wonders if it’s Randal’s blood. She asks Brad if he knows where “they” live. He doesn’t want to tell her. She asks him to take her there, but he doesn’t want to. He wants to stay as far away as possible and doesn’t want her involved. She says they’re both involved; they’re right in the middle of it. He says he doesn’t care, but she doesn’t believe it. Brad says the police are handling it, and Marcie asks if he means Eddie. She says he knows Rusty and stood up to him, but Brad can’t believe she’s asking him to help Randal. She says there’s a baby involved too, but Brad says after everything Randal has caused, he doesn’t deserve help. Marcie asks if Brad thinks he deserves death, and Brad says sorrynotsorry.

Marcie looks for Louise’s purse. Brad says the police probably took it. She starts looking at tax records online for Alex’s parents’ address. She says when she finds it, she’s going. Brad blocks her way. She says she needs to do this, and Brad says she still loves Randal. She says if anything happens, she’ll never forgive Brad for stopping her. He says he’s protecting her, and he doesn’t want to, but she wins, he’ll go. Marcie says he won’t, and he asks if she’s doubting him again. He says he’ll do it for her. She asks him to hurry and gives him her car keys.

Lushion goes to Joey’s room. Natalie says he’s still breathing, and if he makes it through the next 24 hours, his chances for recovery go up. She says she’s never clock-watched like this before. Lushion says every second that goes by, Joey gets better. She tells Lushion that he looks stressed. He says a lot is going on at the station, but the most important thing is right here. She asks him to call her sister and check on the kids. She thinks the disk might be at her sister’s house, remembering that the kids were there that day. Lushion says it’s not important right now; the only important thing is right here, right now. She thanks him, but says he should leave for a while. Natalie knows something is up, but he repeats that it’s just work. She insists he go.

Andrew tells Alex he’s sorry, but he has to do this right or he’ll get in a lot of trouble. She asks if he has kids, and he says he has one on the way. She says her newborn baby was snatched by her racist parents. The baby is half Black, and she needs to find him. Andrew finally says okay, but here comes a-hole Eddie. Andrew thinks it’s back-up and gets out of the car.

Andrew tells Eddie that he thought they were sending local back-up, and Eddie says no, just him. Andrew starts to radio the station. Eddie says it won’t work and talk to him. He asks if there’s a girl in the car. Andrew says she told him her parents kidnapped her baby. Eddie says he’ll take care of it, and tells Andrew to go. Andrew is hesitant and says he’s not leaving. Eddie says he’s here to help her too. Eddie suddenly maces Andrew in the face and he’s late on the draw.

Andrew flounders, and Eddie says it’s not his first time crawling around. Eddie approaches the car. Alex is stunned to see him. Eddie tells her to get out of the car, but she refuses. He calls her a whore and says she’s caused enough problems. She says he knows her father has the baby, and he tells her don’t make him drag her out. He points his gun at her, saying he’ll blow her head off and get out of the car. She sees the keys are in the car and slowly slides across the seat.

Eddie opens the door. Just as Alex is about to get out, she slams the door shut and takes off. That was a pretty slick move for a girl from the backwoods.

Andrew gets to his feet and says it’s too late. Eddie makes stupid remarks and Andrew says he’s not going after her. Eddie says, who gonna check me, boo? I mean, who gonna stop me, you? Andrew says he’s warning him, and Eddie says try it. Andrew points his gun at Eddie, and Eddie says he’ll have to shoot him to stop him. He says he’s tested Andrew and he’s a nobody. Eddie advances. Andrew asks why he’s doing this, and Eddie asks why Andrew is testing him. Eddie tells him go ahead. I wish he would. I would. He tells Andrew he ain’t cut out for this, and asks if he wants help. Eddie draws his own gun and points it at Andrew’s face. He says, two guys with two guns; who has the balls to pull the trigger?

Eddie goes around behind Andrew. He asks if Andrew has ever shot a gun before, and says it’s like this – and shoots Andrew in the shoulder. Eddie tells him how it’s going down and asks if he’s ready to listen now. They both came out there and came across Rusty and his boys. There was a shoot out and Eddie had Andrew’s back. Eddie says if he hears anything but yes, he’ll say he found him out there dead and Rusty must have outnumbered him. Andrew says he’ll do whatever Eddie says. Eddie says he might be able to use him yet. He tells Andrew get his act up and he can come over to the good side, but then again he might just say the hell with it – and shoots Andrew in the leg. He says Lushion likes to shoot in the vest, but he likes them to feel it. He tells Andrew to think about working for him and drives off.

Randal begs Rusty and his boys not to harm his son. Rusty says Randal raped his daughter. Randal calls Rusty “sir,” and Rusty says he’s not so uppity now. Randal says he’s sorry. Rusty says sorry for what (running theme!), and Randal says just don’t hurt his son. Rusty says his son is his sin. They’re going to hang him and feed his body to the gators, but first, he’s going to ask for Rusty’s forgiveness and then ask the Lord for forgiveness. He makes Randal call him Mr. Rusty and wants Randal to tell everyone that he raped his daughter. Randal says that’s not true, and Rusty says he’d better tell them. Randal says he raped Alex. Rusty tells him to say that the bastard child is a part of the rape. Randal says it, and Rusty says ask for his forgiveness. Randal asks Rusty for forgiveness, then asks the Lord. As much as I hate Randal, I hate Rusty more. Double, because now I feel sorry for Randal.

Randal asks for his son, and Rusty says he’s getting nothing but death. Rusty tells the boys to get the boat ready. Randal begs them not to hurt his son. Rusty says the gators are hungry and to get the baby.

Next time, Virginia tells Randal what’s going to happen to him, Eddie gets involved, Kelly frets about Travis, and Lushion tells Steven that Eddie is out of control.

Below Deck

When we last left the Valor and crew, Kelley had stupidly left the Intrepid’s keys with Nico, thus leaving Dean and company stranded on the beach. The captain is not happy about having to bail Kelley out, and Kate makes a math story problem out of it. Nico suddenly realizes he has the keys.

Ben says it’s affecting everyone. The captain brings the guests back, and Kate calls for alcohol immediately. Captain Lee apologizes to the guests, and Kate plies them with champagne.

Kelley radios the captain that Nico came out of nowhere with the keys, but too little too late. The captain is already there in the inflatable boat, and makes them switch with him. In his interview, Nico says Kelley shouldn’t have called the captain, but gotten a taxi to get the keys. In her interview, Kate thanks Kelley for making her life harder.

The captain returns, and Dean talks about what hell waiting on the beach was. Please. Lunch is served. Fabulous as usual. Sierra says the best way to get the guests happy again is liquor and food. I couldn’t agree more.

To say Captain Lee is unhappy would be an understatement, and he says it’s not going to happen again. Kelley gets called to the wheelhouse. The captain says a million things went wrong, and what he’d like to do is rip Kelley’s f-ing head off. He says he can’t even talk about now, because he’ll say something he regrets. He makes Nico senior deckhand, hoping this will clear Kelley’s head, and hopes Nico deals with the extra responsibility well. He tells them the next few days had better go flawlessly. He asks if there are any questions and if so, he doesn’t want to hear them.

Dean gripes about the beach some more. Nico tells Lauren about his promotion, which I think is well-deserved. Lauren says they have to celebrate. Kelley tells Kyle that Nico is the next Trevor. Kyle makes light of the whole thing and gets Kelley laughing. Dean goes to the galley and talks to Ben about dinner. Ben wants to throw in some more courses to make up for their late lunch.

In her interview, Kate says Dean expects decorative folds on his bed, because it’s how their relationship started. We flash back to her rocket ship. Emily tells Ben about Nico’s promotion. Dean wanders around his room, not really noticing Kate’s efforts. Ben and Kate confer about dinner. Ben is doing a tasting menu. In her interview, Kate says if he hadn’t messed up the night before, he wouldn’t be doing this. I concur.

Kyle asks if Kelley is bothered about Nico. Kelley says he likes to leave feeling that he’s done a good job and apparently that’s not happening. The menu sounds amazing. Kate says Ben is knocking it out of the park.

Kelley goes to Dean and apologizes, saying it was his fault. Dean thinks he and Nico should do a singing apology. In his interview, Kelley says normally he’d think this was weird, but it’s Dean. We flash back to Dean’s other oddball requests. Dean tells Kelley he wants to feel the emotion in song.

Kate thinks Emily and Sierra are taking advantage of her leniency, or they’re just being lackadaisical. Nico isn’t keen on singing, since he feels like it wasn’t his fault. Technically, it wasn’t, although he could have remembered he had the keys. Ben gets dinner rolling. The first course is snails, one of the few things I’ve never eaten, but would like to try. Dean is impressed with the foie gras.

Kyle helps Kelley work on writing the song. They sing something about turning Dean’s frown upside down and I literally lol. Dean says Ben is on fire tonight. Kate isn’t that impressed, since she thinks he should be on fire all the time. Carrot cake! The guests talk about what their favorite dishes were. Ben thanks Emily for her team work, ignoring Kate.

Kelley and Nico do some body painting. In her interview, Kate is disappointed that Ben is being distracted by his love life. The guys practice their song badly. The go on deck where the guests have just finished dinner.

Nico says they wanted to apologize and Kelley says it was “our” fault. I just know he’s one of those “we were all drunk” people. At the end of their song, they open their shirts, displaying an apology written in neon green. Dean thinks it’s a catchy tune, and actually it is.

Ben asks Kelley about Nico being second bosun, and Kelley corrects him. Kelley is annoyed that Lauren relayed the information wrong.

The flowers Ben gave to Emily seem to be making the rounds. Kate nearly gets impalied trying to get some cheese out of the refrigerator.

Kyle’s girlfriend is coming for a visit. He says Ashley is the love of his life, but doesn’t think she’s react to well to hearing he tried to take out Sierra. I’m not even sure what to say about that except maybe, is he an idiot? Of course she won’t.

Kate has no folding inspiration. She thinks maybe a big D, since Dean wasn’t into the Vs. She says she knows what to do now. Make the biggest D he’s ever seen.

Emily and Ben discuss Nico’s promotion. Kelley comes in and clarifies Nico’s new title. In his interview, Kelley says Lauren is awesome, but needs to stop talking so much. Kelley tells her to watch what she says. Kyle asks the captain if it’s okay for him to knock off early, since his girlfriend is coming. The captain is good with it as long as the work is done. He also reminds Kyle about the next charter.

Kate approaches Ben about the flowers, saying they’re magnificent, but in the way. The Valor pulls out into dazzling blue water and the guests are served an awesome breakfast. Dean sees the big D and says Kate has been at it again. Kate says Ben is obsessed with the flowers. Ben claims that he wants Emily to enjoy them without the guests being around. He tells Emily that Kate has it in for the flowers. He wants to savor them. I’m starting to think he bought them for himself.

The guests take some pictures with the captain in the wheelhouse. Captain Lee is pleased with Nico’s work so far. It’s time for the guests to depart, and the crew gathers. I bet that beach thing is going to cost them. Dean says there were some ups and downs with Nico and Kelley stranding him and the dud dish Ben made, but they made up for it and their tip is deserved.

The crew gathers in the mess. Kelley doesn’t want to be there. The captain says not their best effort. There’s one more charter, and he wants them to stay focused. He tells the crew that Dean was happier than he was, because he gave them 26K, which means $2350 each. I think that’s the biggest tip I’ve seen since this show started. Captain Lee tells everyone that Nico is senior deckhand now, and the crew is to give Nico the same respect they give Kelley and himself. He’s letting them loose tonight, but the boat had better be ready for the next guests. The crew gets to work so that Kyle can leave early. Sierra talks to Emily about Ben. She’s not sure she wants it to go any further. She says his relationship with Kate kind of turns her off.

Kyle runs out on the dock to meet Ashley. He introduces her to the crew. Sierra says she feels for Ashley being in a relationship with Kyle. Emily thinks she’s a typical Manchester girl, whatever that means. Kate asks how she met Kyle, but it’s not very interesting. Kate likes her, saying she’s a girly-girl, but sassy.

Ben asks if Emily wants to go out tonight. She thinks it might be nice to meet up with the crew. In his interview, he says he’s shocked. He tells her he has an amazing place lined up, but she’s staunch in wanting to hang out with her co-workers. Ben follows Emily around, asking her to take a break when she’s trying to iron. She finally relents. Kyle and Ashley leave for the mainland. In his interview, Ben says he wants to settle down, and realizes Emily is younger and the timing might be wrong, but he wants to give it his best shot.

Kyle tells Ashley he doesn’t like Sierra. He tells her about Sierra texting her boyfriend while they were out, and then calling him a queen. Ashley is more concerned about him going out with Sierra than what Sierra called him. She tells Kyle that it wasn’t a free pass and calls him an a-hole. He thanks her for coming out to see him. So I guess we’re past that now?

Ben isn’t sure where he stands with Emily and he’s rattled. He waits at the bar, ordering champagne. Emily joins him, and he says he thought they had a nice thing going. She asks if they still don’t. She says she’s having fun dating him, but isn’t ready for a relationship. She puts him in the friend zone. He says he’s disappointed, but then backtracks, saying he’s having fun in the moment. He asks for a kiss and then puts on her glasses. He asks if she’ll stay at the hotel with him – nothing sexual, just Netflix only.

Ashley discusses her upcoming surgery with Kyle. She wants to make sure he’ll be around since she won’t be able to do any physical exertion for a while. He’s all happy she’s including him. He wonders what happens if she dumps him in a few years, and asks if she really wants to share this with him. They hug.

Everyone gets back to the boat. Kyle says good-by to Ashley and Kate video chats with Ro. Emily goes back to the hotel with Ben.

Next time, more models for the last charter, Kate can’t find “Benily.” Lauren thinks Kate is a sh*t stirrer, and Sierra doesn’t know what’s happening, which is nothing new.

November 21, 2016 – A Search for Justice on GH, Too Many Butts at SUR & the OC Puts Us Out of Our Reunion Misery

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante gives Sonny’s file to Jordan. She wishes they had more evidence. Dante says it’s possible someone else could be responsible. Jordan says they discussed this, and asks if he can be impartial. He says he is, but she should stay open to other possibilities. She tells him that he’s off the case. So much for being open and actually wanting to get to the truth.

Hayden wakes up to Tracy standing near her bed. Tracy pretends she isn’t concerned, and says she’s just making sure Hayden doesn’t walk off with the silverware. Finn joins them, and Hayden tells him that she caught Tracy in the act of caring. She says she’s feeling almost 100% better and wants to go.

Dante asks Jordan if he’s impeded the case. Jordan says they can’t afford for it to be jeopardized. Michael joins them and asks if she’s going to railroad Sonny. He’s there to be supportive. Sonny is brought in, and says that it means more to him than Michael knows.

Nell asks Kiki how she’s doing. She amends it to being a stupid question. She says she saw Kiki at the funeral. Kiki says she’d give anything to change the way Morgan felt that night. He was a great guy and there was no one else like him. Nell says she could tell how special he was, and she hates that it’s tearing the family apart.

Jax tells Carly that they should stop making out, and Carly says no they shouldn’t. Jax says it isn’t right, and she says yes it is. She says he thought they were perfect for one another, and she didn’t see it at the time. He says she’s leaving Sonny out of the equation.

Jordan reminds Dante that he’s no longer on the case. Diane says that there is no case. Jordan says that Sonny confessed at the church, but Diane tells her that they were the words of a grieving father, and could be taken a hundred different ways. Sonny and company leave for court.

Kiki says she’s only hurting a fraction of what Sonny and Carly are, and when Sonny confessed, it was too much for Carly to handle. Nell says she can’t imagine how bad it must be for their solid marriage to collapse. Kiki says it’s not the first time, and Nell asks about their history.

Hayden says that she doesn’t feel sick. Finn says the antibiotics might have cured the underlying infection. He thinks it’s possible that the disease was caught early enough that it could have been eradicated. Hayden says she’s ready to leave, and Curtis pops in, saying he hopes not on his account.

Sam and Jason discuss who might have wanted to go after Julian. Besides a man who’s been dead for 20 years. Sam discovers that Oscar Jessup’s phone bill has been paid by an online account in China.

Jordan tells Sonny that she should have known his bout of conscience would be short lived. Diane has finagled house arrest for him, and Jordan says he stays cuffed until he gets home, which is just about the stupidest thing ever, and makes her seem vindictive. Jordan goes to get Sonny’s belongings. Sonny tells Dante that he believes what he said in the church. Dante says the evidence against him is pretty flimsy.

Kiki tells Nell that she thinks it’s the fifth time Sonny and Carly have been married (ha-ha! she thinks), but they always find their way back to each other. She believes if they focus on how much they loved Morgan, they can do it again. Nell asks what about Jax.

Jax reminds Carly that she’s still married to Sonny. She hurts and she wants someone to make her feel better; she wants comfort, even if it’s not from the best source. She apologizes, saying she didn’t know what she was thinking. She doesn’t want Jax to think she’s using him. He says the bottom line is that she’s grieving, and he’s fine with it. She says how embarrassing, and he says he’s here for her, just not like that.

Curtis introduces himself to Tracy. He says a mutual friend told him that Hayden was under the weather and he was in between jobs, so he stopped by. Finn suggests they let Hayden and Curtis talk. Curtis pretends he’s looking for work from Hayden, but she says she knows he cares. She says she’s fine now. Curtis says she’s as beautiful and feisty as ever, but not at her best. She says she doesn’t want Finn to feel any more guilty than he already does. Curtis wonders if she has a thing for Finn.

Tracy tells Finn she’s not buying his caring doctor act, and Finn acts ignorant. Tracy says he knows antibiotics can’t kill the underlying infection, and thinks he lied because he’s scared.

Hayden tells Curtis that she does not have a thing for Finn. He asks what’s really going on, and she says she’s really scared. Curtis says no little infection is going to get the best of her, and when he’s down with someone, he never gives up.

Finn tells Tracy that he’ll take whatever he can get as far as Hayden’s improvement goes. Tracy asks how he is, and he says fine – for now. She asks about the medication, and he tells her that he’s running low. Tracy asks what if he needs to share with Hayden, and he says he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

Curtis tells Hayden that for a homeless woman, she sure came up in the world. She says except for the life threatening illness, she has it made. He says she’ll beat it. Out in the hallway, Curtis thanks Finn, and says that he has Curtis’s number if he needs him. Tracy and Finn go back into Hayden’s room and she’s out of bed. She tells them she’s going to take a shower, so she’ll be presentable for her next accommodations.

Kiki tells Nell that Jax isn’t Sonny’s favorite person. Nell says exes can be like that, and he’s stuck with Jax because of Josslyn. She wonders if Jax and Carly will get back together. Kiki says Sonny and Carly think the same way, and are like a united force. She thinks they belong together and so did Morgan, and thinks Carly feels the same way. Nell says it was great talking to her, but she has to go to work.

Carly tells Jax that she loves her kids and would do anything for them. It’s the actions that count though, not the words. She justified being with Sonny in her head, telling herself that he was keeping them safe, and now look what happened. She says she should have walked away a long time ago. Jax tells her that you can’t choose who you love, but Carly says you can choose who you walk away from. She feels empty and wonders if the aching, gnawing pain will ever go away. Jax promises her it will, but in the meantime, he’ll be there to help, as a good friend who knows her inside and out.

The bell rings. It’s Dante. He says he just came from Sonny’s arraignment.

Diane deposits Sonny in his house. The officer uncuffs him. Sonny tells her, nice work. She says as much as she loves her retainer, she loves justice more, and believes he’s innocent.

Jason tells Sam that whoever planted the bomb was in the parking lot at the same time he was. He wonders if he saw something that isn’t registering. Sam asks about other business’s surveillance cameras. Curtis – who is just popping in out of the blue everywhere today – says, like the mini mart across the street? He says the store got everything on video and he has it on his phone.

Finn beats Tracy at Backgammon, and now she owes him a favor. He wants her to ask Hayden to stay. Tracy says Hayden can’t wait to get out. Finn tells her that all he wants is for her ask. She says she’ll run it by Monica.

Dante tells Carly that Sonny pled not guilty. He says whatever Jason told him had a big affect, and asks Carly if she knows what it was. She tells Dante to talk to Sonny, but he says Diane claimed he wasn’t talking. He tells Carly about Sonny getting bail and being placed under house arrest. Carly asks what happens now, and Dante says nothing, as long as Sonny stays put, and he’s wearing an ankle monitor.

The officer explains the conditions of the monitor to Sonny and tells him good luck. After he leaves, Sonny asks Diane if she can get him out of this mess, and Diane asks if he’s met her. She going to have the confession thrown out as the words of a grief stricken father. She’s not making light of it, but it’s a bonus, and by the time they go to trial, Jason should have uncovered more evidence. She tells him to call if he needs company. He thanks her for what she did for him. She leaves and Sonny looks grim.

Curtis tells Jason and Sam that Julian fired him. He’s in this for the truth, and if they combine forces, they can get to the bottom of it. He says they can look at the video, but a delivery van blocked the view of Julian’s car, so it’s another dead end.

Jax asks if Dante is okay with this, and Dante says things have changed. Nell comes in and Dante leaves. Nell gives Carly some work stuff and the guest book from Morgan’s funeral. She thinks Carly might appreciate the nice comments and memories of Morgan. Jax asks if Nell could book him a suite at the MetroCourt.

Sam tells Jason that she can see if the story checks out at the mini mart. Jason tells her to hang on, and takes Curtis aside. He wants to know why Curtis is so interested in helping. Curtis says he doesn’t like loose ends, and there was something strange about how Julian fired him. Jason suggests they work together.

Sonny enjoys a drink, saying he can’t get that in Pentonville. Nope, you can’t. The doorbell rings. It’s Dante who’s burning a lot of calories today, bouncing from place to place. Sonny asks if he’s there as a cop, and Dante says he’s there as his son.

Finn goes into Hayden’s room. She comes out in a towel and says she needs to get dressed. Finn gets flustered and leaves. He sees Tracy in the hallway, and she says Cook wants her to find out what Hayden’s favorite dish is. She says Monica gave her okay, so she’s also extending the invitation. Tracy enters Hayden’s room and asks if she’d like to stay. Finn answers his phone. The test results are back. He asks if Hayden is positive for the disease.

Hayden asks Tracy if this is a joke, but Tracy says she can stay as long as she likes. Hayden says no, but Tracy asks why she’s making it difficult. Hayden asks why she’d want to stay where she isn’t wanted. Tracy tells her that if she doesn’t, Finn will be mad at the both of them.

Finn gets the results and doesn’t look happy.

Curtis and Jason look at the tape and wonder if the car is blocked on purpose.

Sonny says Dante doesn’t have to worry about him. Dante says he knows it must be strange, and Sonny says it is what it is. Dante says he stopped by Carly’s place and Jax was there. He told her that Sonny was home, but all she said was thanks for letting her know.

To his surprise, Carly tells Nell that Jax will be staying at her place. Nell goes into the office, and Carly promises not to make any more moves on Jax.

At the bar, Michael asks Kiki if Nell is around, and Kiki says he just missed her. He tells Kiki about Sonny, and says that he wants Nell to keep an eye on him, since she’s babysitting Avery anyway.

Carly asks Jax if they can act like the kiss never happened, and he says no one needs to know. Well, Nell is going to know, because she’s eavesdropping, and probably taking notes.

Tomorrow, Alexis has good news, Lucy has the pills, and Thanksgiving begins. As usual, I wonder how the Quartermaines will end up having pizza.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh my Lord, if I have to hear Lala make that remark about no one having worked on their “summer bodies” one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind.

The girls (minus Ariana and Lala) gather for a lunch with Katie. Everyone has a balloon to pop, and there are papers inside asking them to be bridesmaids. Apparently Kristen has been waiting for this moment since she introduced Katie and Schwartz. Katie talks about how she met all of them.

Katie asks Brittany how it’s going with Jax. She thinks she’s finally gotten through to him, but Stassi suggests she take his credit card and buy what she wants. In her interview, Stassi says she now looks at Jax like an ape who has a really cool girlfriend. I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description. Katie gets sentimental, and Stassi says she’s not going to take any moments for granted anymore. Stassi asks about Ariana, but Katie says Ariana isn’t into the bridesmaid thing, and she didn’t want to put her on the spot to say no. In her interview, she adds that Ariana’s defense of Lala added to the decision making process. Stassi calls it the “dream team” and I gag a little. Wow. That’s a lot of bridesmaids. I had three.

At SUR, Lala asks James if he’s fired yet. He’s there to talk to Lisa and guesses he’ll find out. In his interview, James talks about people saying things about how many strikes he has, but since they don’t have baseball in England, he doesn’t comprehend the analogy. I think even if they did have baseball in England, he still wouldn’t comprehend it. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box.

Tom and Jax set up the bar for the evening ahead. They’re going to Schwartz’s after work. Jax brings up James’s altercation at PUMP, and hopes Lisa fires him for real this time. I’d give anything to eat at SUR and run into Lisa. Then I’d beg her to adopt me.

In her interview, Lisa says she’s heard a lot, but still doesn’t know what started the fight. She asks to talk to James in private. She tells him he’s upsetting her business. James is so delusional, he thinks that people see him winning and don’t like it. He really does think he’s a bigger deal than he is. He says he’s innocent in this, but Lisa says experience has taught her not to trust him. She says it’s difficult for her to keep him employed, and she’s given him more chances than he deserves. She says lucky for him, it looks like the other guy was the perpetrator, but if she catches him doing one wrong thing, he’s out. Or it’s his third strike as we say in America. In her interview, Lisa says if one person had said he was at fault, he would have been gone.

Commercial break. I get a Trader Joe’s maple walnut blondie and think this is the very reason I will never be as thin as these people. Never.

Scheana talks to Lisa about James, saying he’s a 24-year-old child. She says he can’t keep blaming his father for his own bad choices forever. At the bar, Ariana and Katie talk about James. Ariana asks James if everything is cool with Lisa. He says yes, and they high-five. In her interview, Katie calls James the worst version of a person humanity has to offer. Ha-ha! Ariana asks Katie how the wedding plans are going. Katie explains why she didn’t ask Ariana to be a bridesmaid, but dances around actually saying it. In her interview, Ariana says it might have been easier on her if she’d just come out with it. She tells Katie she’ll be involved where Katie wants her to be, whether she’s wearing a bridesmaid’s dress or not. Ariana seems like one of the most mature of the group, so I can’t fathom why she insists on being friends with Lala and James either.

Schwartz wants to cook Jax and Tom a nice dinner to show his appreciation for their friendship. They show up semi-formally dressed, but in flip-flops, as an homage to the many times they couldn’t get into a club because Schwartz was wearing them. Schwartz tells them about the prenup conversation. Tom thinks it’s a classic example of how lawyers make money, although he’s all for it. Schwartz tells them how much he appreciates everything they’ve done for him, and asks them to be groomsmen. His two to Katie’s ten. The dinner looks great and Jax says Brittany doesn’t even make him dinner like that.

They discuss old times and sleeping on air mattresses. Schwartz talks about how they hazed him for the first year he was in LA, and how he’s been looking for a way to make things even ever since. I take note that Tom didn’t eat his broccoli. Schwartz says it’s time to start repayment and gives them envelopes. They contain pictures of Schwartz’s butt with their food in and on it. He tells them that he also ran three miles beforehand and didn’t shower. In his interview, Tom says it’s Shakespearean in nature, like cutting up someone’s son and feeding it to him. Jax says the food was good, butt cheeks or no butt cheeks, and I’m shocked at how in stride they both take it. And I wonder if Katie realizes how immature Schwartz really is. Tom totally deserves this, if only for whatever the hell way he’s wearing his hair. It’s some kind of braid on the top of his head ending in a man bun.

Katie shops for invitations with Kristen and Stassi. Katie wants to send the invites on a tea towel, which is the coolest idea ever. When the clerk goes in the back, Katie tells the girls she’s having a housewarming party. In her interview, Stassi talks about how she and Patrick are heading toward their final break-up, and how all of the celebrations are difficult for her. After crunching the numbers, the clerk tells Katie that it comes out to about $18.50 an invitation. I think I spent that in total on mine. Okay, maybe it was a little more, but still.

Lisa checks out how things are going at PUMP. She asks James if he’s staying out of trouble and keeping his nose clean. I’ll bet that meant something totally different in the 80s. Lala tells Ariana that she feels badly about Scheana, since they used to be friends. She wants to talk with Scheana, and asks if she can have a minute. Lala wonders where they hit a point where they weren’t okay with each other. She says she realizes she’s been a bully and isn’t happy with herself. Scheana says she needs to talk to Katie. She says the things Lala has been saying about Katie are not cool.

Scheana tells Katie about Lala’s apology and how she defended Katie. We flash back to Lala’s interruption at Katie’s engagement party. Katie says she’s been hearing that Lala is dating a married man who’s been bankrolling her. She says she prefers to make money the old fashioned way. She means hard work for a paycheck, but I guess she doesn’t realize the irony that prostitution is called the world’s oldest profession.

Lala says human to human, she owes this bitch an apology. While Katie is on break outside, Lala sits down. She says she’s not there to argue, but to apologize for low blows she should have never made. She says Katie wants to throw rocks at her. Katie asks if she’s referring to being labeled a whore, and says she calls it as she sees it. After claiming to be in a committed relationship, Lala says they all say things they don’t mean, and she’d accept a apology from Katie. She denies having a married boyfriend, and says her parents still pay for a lot. Lala makes a snarky remark about Katie’s car, and Katie calls her an idiot and walks back into SUR.

Schwarz gripes about spending more money on a housewarming party, and tells Katie the invitations better not be more than five bucks a piece. She clues him in, and tells him it’s standard. He says standard idiocy. In his interview, he claims he could throw a decent wedding for three grand and that barely covers the invitations. I did one for five grand (including the honeymoon), but I had a lot of creative and generous friends, as well as it being quite a while ago. Katie tells Schwartz about Lala’s pseudo apology. She says that afterward, she saw Lala with Scheana looking friendly, and thinks Scheana had better watch her back.

The friends gather for the housewarming. Everyone brings presents. In her interview, Scheana says she and Shay are in a good place and he’s curbed the drinking. Jax talks to Tom about the bachelor party. He wants to get transvestites or transgenders. From where” The Yellow Pages? Google? Craigslist? Tom suggests a guy in drag. Jax debates that it’s the same thing, and while as usual he’s an idiot, I try to figure out how that’s different from a transvestite.

In the kitchen, Brittany asks Stassi whats’ wrong. Stassi says she’s embarrassed about her flip-flopping relationship. She says every time she tries to explain it, she doesn’t know what the problem is, even though they love each other. She starts to cry and Brittany hugs her. She says Stassi can call any time and she won’t judge her. She makes it all better by giving Stassi some of her vodka and soda.

Lala visits James. Lala tells him Katie wasn’t having it and he says she didn’t really accept his apology either. Neither one of them care, but Lala wonders where Katie is getting that she’s dating a married dude. In his interview, James says he doesn’t know who Lala is dating, but he’s staying out of it. They make fun of the hosuewarming party that they weren’t invited to. James tells Lala not to let them make her feel excluded. He talks about how his career is going to skyrocket.

The party is in full swing, meaning Katie can’t tell lemons from limes at this point. Jax and Peter discuss how Scheana’s butt has shrunk. Butts seem to be the theme tonight. Katie shows Stassi and Kristen the bedroom, which is done in industrial chic eclectic, which I don’t believe for one minute is a thing. Katie tells the girls about calling Lala out on her married boyfriend. In her interview, Stassi commends Katie on actually saying something out loud. Kristen calls Lala a sociopathic skank. Wow. She’s kind of right, although Lala still has a conscience. If she keeps ignoring it though, she’ll get there.

Scheana tells Jax about Lala’s apology tour, and how Katie told her if she’s dishonest in one area, how can she trust her in another? Ariana says Lala’s life is none of their business, but Scheana says if you lie about your life, how can anyone believe you about anything?

Stassi says she can’t even give Lala a hair flip in a bitchy way. She wants to pretend Lala does’t exist that much. Scheana comes in and the other two leave. Katie tells her that the privious night sat uneasy with her after she saw Scheana at the bar with Lala. Scheana says she was just there when Lala walked up and she doesn’t want to be friends with Lala. Katie says that now Lala is comfortable talking to Scheana, she feels weird about it. Scheana promises that she’s 100% supportive of Katie and suggests she go back to her own party.

Next time, Schwarz asks Ariana to be one of his groomsmen, Katie and Scheana argue, Jax and James argue at work, and Lisa calls James a drunken a-hole. Definitely worth the price of admission.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion – Part Three

We revisit the dune buggy accident in Glammis. Andy asks Tamra about feeling responsible and she says she still feels that way. Heather says she remembered Terry telling her to go limp if she’s ever in an accident. Good to know. Kelly says it was surreal, and talks about seeing the bar on top of Tamra. Tamra says she thought there was a body on her and was afraid to open her eyes. Andy brings up Shannon not going because of health reasons and Vicki questioning it in her blog. Shannon defends herself, citing several doctors.

Next “Hospitalgate” is discussed. We flash back to Shannon and Meghan acting like idiots, and the repercussions. Heather makes a stank face about Meghan revoking her hostess charter. Meghan says she didn’t realize it was as bad as it was. Heather says she told her exactly what happened, and brings up a text that Meghan sent afterward, agreeing that it must have been horrible. Andy asks if Meghan doesn’t think being airlifted to a hospital was important. Heather says there are certain criteria; they just don’t airlift anyone. Meghan says Vicki had lied about a lot of stuff, and Heather says it wasn’t Vicki telling her. It bothered her that the immediate human reaction wasn’t, what can I do? I tend to agree. It might be different if they hadn’t been out in the middle of nowhere and Vicki was by herself. I have actually stepped in to help someone I couldn’t stand because there was no one else available at the time.

A viewer asks why Heather and Kelly didn’t go to visit Vicki. Heather says she had one of her kids with her and was driving an RV. Meghan says to make a decision for herself is one thing, but to judge her is another. Tamra says regardless of what the past was, if someone is in an accident, you visit. Vicki chastises Andy for belaboring the point, and Shannon says she’s bossy. Andy asks if Shannon has met her, and Vicki tells her to get used to it. They talk about Briana saying that Vicki was overly dramatic while recovering. Tamra says Briana claimed that Vicki was taking her neck brace off when the cameras weren’t rolling. Vicki says Briana was very ill as well, and doesn’t think she totally grasped what was going on. Oddly enough, Heather comes to Vicki’s defense. We go over Meghan calling Tamra “reckless.” Heather apologizes for being hard on Meghan about it, but says that Meghan had been alking a lot of smack about her and wishes she’d come to her. They talk about hospital visitation some more and I mentally beg Andy to move on.

Finally. We go over some klutzy Vicki moments, like when she tripped and lost her nipple cover. Next is the Ireland trip and the same flash backs we’ve seen a dozen times. Zzzzzzz… The worst is how these women keep saying they weren’t trying to get Kelly drunk when they so obviously were. We end with the screaming match bus trip. Andy starts with the nose flick thing Kelly was doing. Kelly uses the famous it was a miscommunication excuse. Meghan says she feels Kelly was baited, but the whole thing was stupid. A viewer demands that Heather explain why she was carrying a flask of Fireball when she only drinks champagne. Heather claims she was just being funny. Too bad nobody ended up laughing.

Moving on to the dinner. Andy asks what Shannon’s motivation was in trying to get Kelly to drink. Shannon makes up some idiotic excuse. Andy asks why Tamra quietly asked the waiter to make doubles, but she never answers, and Shannon makes something else up. Vicki talks about how she warned Kelly, and Shannon gets so wound up that you’d think someone put a quarter into her. Her voice gets high and squeaky, and she rattles off a few times that Vicki encouraged Kelly to drink. Kelly says the dinner was 100% a set up.

Kelly does a perfect imitation of Shannon’s squeaky voice asking her why she wasn’t drinking. Andy talks about naked wasted, and says as a connoisseur of the show, it looked similar to him. Tamra says that was a million years ago. Shannon says it was before her time, and they looked bad, but there was no ill intent. Right.

Andy goes there. He asks Shannon about Vicki’s comment that David beat her. Shannon says in 2003 she called the police over a verbal argument that he wanted to end. Vicki says she’s fine with that, but not the lying. She says she has proof. Vicki says she didn’t want to do this, and Tamra gets loud and stupid. Vicki tells her to shut up, and she says no, you. Andy tells everyone to shut up, and let Shannon speak. Shannon says she and David went out to dinner. It was when she first found out about the affair, and either she had too much to drink or someone slipped something in her drink. She doesn’t remember what happened, but David found her blocks away. Shannon says most people will believe her because she’s told the truth, but now it’s out there and someone might approach her kids about it. She calls Vicki despicable, and says she’s never talking to her again, which seems fine with Vicki. She says she’d never stay in a marriage where the guy was beating her. Andy tries to slip in something about Briana accusing Brooks of hitting Vicki, but it gets lost in the confusion. Everyone starts talking at once and Shannon needs a minute.

She goes off crying and lapdog Tamra follows. Tamra tells Shannon that Vicki isn’t a nice person. They linger in front of the door, and a few people have to squeeze past. They all have bemused looks on their faces.

Andy asks if this is the secret Vicki had. Heather says it speaks to her character that she’d tell Kelly about it. Vicki says she didn’t want to bring it out, and Heather says if that was the case, she wouldn’t have said anything. Still in the hallway, Shannon babbles and Tamra says Vicki knows what she’s doing, and is just trying to bring them down. Heather says Vicki should apologize to Tamra, and Vicki gets loud, saying Tamra said worse things about her. Heather gets all schoolmarmish. Tamra tells Shannon, let’s turn this around, and they go back in.

Andy asks if Shannon said something to Vicki and it got misconstrued. Vicki swears that Shannon called her at the time. Kelly seems to think Shannon’s story makes sense now, and Andy wonders why Vicki is sticking with what she said. Shannon shows pictures of herself in a bikini and says see? no bruises. Vicki says that a man should never touch a woman. Shannon says they’re in agreement on that one.

Andy brings up the Eddie being gay thing, and Vicki says it was a rumor that Tamra already knew about. Vicki says she doesn’t know if it’s true, but all she did was say it was out there. She says that Tamra has been trashing her for years . Tamra says, shut up, old lady, revealing her usual charming self and blowing her witness. The really stupid thing is that she’s not exactly a spring chicken. I guess her fear of growing old causes her to become ageist in an argument. She tells Vicki to stop spreading rumors. Andy asks why Heather is angry with Kelly instead of Vicki for telling Kelly. Heather agrees she had douchy moments on the bus. She says they all did, and she cops to hers.

Andy brings up the puppet-master thing that Kelly said. Heather says it’s more like Kelly is (no, you), since she tried to build hate against heather. Kelly says everyone has seen heather for who she is now and the world hates Heather and loves her. I’m speechless, and so is Heather.

Andy asks where Tamra and Vicki are relationship-wise. Tamra says now that Vicki has been spreading rumors, they’re done. Vicki says she’s sorry she repeated anything to Kelly. Meghan thinks her ego is getting involved in her apology. Andy asks if Kelly has made any progress. Kelly says she apologized and tried to move forward, but it seems like it doesn’t matter.

Final moment. If they cold have one do-over what would it be? For Heather, it’s the bus ride to the airport. She says personal narratives and booze made it explode. For Meghan, she would have listened to Heather about the accident. For Tamra, it’s pushing Kelly; for Kelly, it’s talking about Tamra’s daughter. For Shannon, it’s yelling about her mother-in-law at David, and for Vicki, it’s talking to Kelly about things at the beginning of the season, when she should have kept her mouth shut.

Andy says they’ve gotten everything off their chest, and it’s time to heal. Shannon says the damage is done. She tells Vicki that spousal abuse is a serious allegation, and Vicki says so is con woman. Andy breaks out the Guinness and champagne cocktails, and toasts to season 11, moving forward, and Meghan’s baby girl. Baby’s first reunion. Yikes.