What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Doc and Addie have split up. Doc to find Roberta, and Addie to find Lucy.
Kaya shows Citizen Z some weird humans who are behaving zombie-ish. Like the one that was after Lucy last week. They discuss a guy who’s been working on vaccines, but have heard nothing from Operation Bite Mark except for the occasional Murphy rant. Citizen Z wonders if the world is emptier
Doc comes across a castle (!). He investigates while listening to a woman reciting Poe on the radio. This is an awesome piece of property. He locks eyes with a zombie who has all kinds of gems an studs embedded into him. Doc tries to shoot, but the bullets bounce off. Oh sh*t! moment. Doc is trapped and there are two more zombies coming. All decorated the same way, like members of a strange motorcycle gang.
There’s a sound like someone banging on a pan, and the zombies leave. Three women approach Doc.
Doc lies on bed and the women watch him. He asks if he’s dead, and they tell him good morning. One of them says he’s safe, another says he had a bad sunburn, but her ointment will make it disappear. They introduce themselves as Sarah, Linda and Camilla. Doc says it’s like zombie Christmas out there, and he’s told that happens to be Sarah’s forte – bedazzling. Doc asks if it’s their radio he heard, and Camilla says that he probably heard her radio show. She recites poetry and is a poet herself. The ladies tend to Doc’s beard and hair. He finds out they have a solar-powered transmitter and asks if he can use it to contact someone. Sarah asks if he has a girlfriend. He says no, and explains that he got separated from his group. Sarah has given him a man bun, and he has the same reaction I do to one.
Doc tries to get Citizen Z on the radio. The women ask what mission he’s on, but he’s not at liberty to say anything except that the fate of humanity lies in the balance. Linda asks what he and his group do for fun, and he says it’s been a while. Sarah starts to massage his shoulders, and we see that the wire on the back of the radio is detached.
Citizen Z hears something on the radio and asks if anyone copies. Kaya thinks he’s nuts, but he says he knows he heard something.
All of a sudden, the radio Doc is on goes dark. Sarah says sometimes the battery won’t hold a charge, but they can try again tomorrow. They bring Doc to the zen room. I guess they’re a very small artist colony? And apparently haven’t seen a living man in a while. Doc sits in the garden and the ladies bring him food. Linda explains that they’re self-sufficient, and Sarah tells him there’s nothing they don’t have and nothing they can’t do. Doc is impressed with their culinary skills. Linda plays footsie with him.
The women ask Doc questions and vie for his attention. They finally leave as he finishes his food. He goes back to the castle where they wait on him. He hears Sarah calling “here, kitty,” and he says he hasn’t seen one in years. Linda says neither have they. Sarah puts some food down and zombies come to eat. They’ve been given cat’s names and are somewhat trained. One wears the cone of shame because he won’t stop trying to eat himself.
Doc gets cornered by a zombie and shoves its spike adorned head into the wall. He says sorry, but Linda says there’s more where that came from. Linda plays the organ while Camilla reads poetry. Sarah asks Doc if he’d like to see her scrapbook. She was an accountant before the apocalypse and likes to keep a record of things. She takes a scrap of clothing from each of the zombies, causing Doc to think about 10K counting his kills, and wonders if he’s all right. There are some rather grisly souvenirs of Sarah’s relatives as well. Doc wants to get
away to bed, but the ladies think the night is still young and offer him some homegrown. He asks if they’re angels of mercy.
Doc finally gets to bed, but not before removing his man bun. He hears the doorknob to his room rattle. He slowly moves toward the door. It’s Sarah with a glass of milk that she milked herself. She says she’s just one room over if he needs anything. Next is Camilla with her book of poetry. It’s meant to be read in the nude, because that’s how she wrote it. Actually, she doesn’t have much on right now. Linda comes in with a sword and worried that she’s going to kill him, he says he has people depending on him including a little blue girl. Linda says if she wanted to kill him, he’d be dead, but she brought the sword in case he needs it during the night. He quadruple locks the door when she leaves.
It doesn’t matter. All three women get in somehow and join Doc in bed. He tells himself to walk away before he ends up pickled in a jar. Then again, it’s the apocalypse.
It must have been quite a night. Doc extracts himself from the tangle, but can’t find his clothes. Donning a pink robe, he washes his face while thinking things over. He sees finger parts in the sink, but before he can even comprehend it, he hears something on the transistor radio and tries the transmitter again. Linda follows him, saying she wishes he hadn’t seen that and Doc runs for it.
Linda chases after him. The zombies pop out of the woods and he runs back to the house. He realizes that a lot of the crafts around the place are made of skulls and skin. He runs to the basement with Linda still after him. He sees a half-bedazzled zombie in chains, people in stocks, and a guy with weed growing out of his head. Doc says he must be in the hobby lobby of hell. A guy chained to a table begs him for help. Doc asks why the cute ones are always crazy. The guy tells him to run while he still has legs. Doc gives him a means to free himself and gets moving again. The three women confront him, wearing masks of human skin. They look like missing members of Slipknot.
Linda asks if he’s leaving without saying good-by. Sarah shoots a bedazzling gun at him. He threatens to shred her scrapbook. Linda attacks him, saying pain is a beautiful thing. She head butts him, Camilla hits him with a hammer and Sarah shoots another bedazzle at him. Lucky for Doc, the people from the basement come upstairs just in time to stop Linda from using a meat clever on him. He bangs on a pan near the door and let’s the outside zombies in. Chaos ensues.
Doc runs to where the radio is and hot wires it. Citizen Z is trying to get in touch, and Doc gets through. Citizen Z asks where they are. Doc says he has an emergency message for Roberta that The Man has kidnapped Lucy. He says Roberta is headed to Spokane to stop Murphy, but this changes everything. The women break the door down, but Doc is nowhere to be seen. Until they look up.
It’s tea time. Doc is climbing up the radio tower with the zombies below. Linda and the others kibbutz while drinking tea. He says he likes his skin on his bones where it belongs and he’s not coming down. Sarah tells him there’s a cup of tea for him if he changes his mind.
Doc kicks the connection to the tower off and starts to swing the tower until it falls. Just before it hits the ground, he flings himself off. He runs away, wearing the pink robe and his underwear.
Citizen Z tries to get Roberta on the radio. Kaya got coordinates to a place where they think The Man is contacting Zona. Kaya says what if they can’t reach Roberta in time or she doesn’t have a radio. Road trip?
Doc finds a zombie stuck with a bicycle in some trees. He kills the zombie, takes the bike and plucks the bedazzle out of himself.
Linda and the ladies clean up the tower mess. Sarah finds some of Doc’s beard hair and puts in it in her scrapbook. The one that got away.
Next time, 10K is about to assassinate Roberta and the day Murphy said would come, is here.
Quotes of the Week
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. – Aristotle (I know a lot of people on Facebook that should heed that right now.)
Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. – William Arthur Ward
Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! – Dr. Seuss