Monthly Archives: November 2016

November 20, 2016 – The Walking Dead Stands Alone, Except for a Short Visit from Atlanta

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Because the American Music Awards eclipsed Once Upon a Time, and I’m just touching on the Atlanta Housewives for now, it’s mostly zombies tonight. The spellcheck at WordPress seems to have taken the evening off as well, so apologies for any typoooooz.

The Walking Dead

Dr. Carson is there when Maggie wakes up. She has some a condition placenta previa, resulting in a placenta separation that could have been caused by trauma. He says the baby seems fine, and we all listen to the heartbeat. The doctor tells her to take it easy for a few days, like she has to call in to work.

Maggie asks Sasha where “they” are and Sasha shows her two fresh graves. She gives Maggie a pocket watch that was Glenn’s. She says all Abe had was a cigar. Maggie leaves the watch on the makeshift headstone pile of rocks, instead of saving it for their child like a normal person would. Sasha tells Maggie she’s going to be okay, and they’re both staying until the baby is born.

Jesus has cleaned up well, so I guess they have showers at Hilltop. He brings some flowers to the graves. Gregory accosts Maggie about Negan. He wants her to leave, but she says the doctor told her to stay. Gregory seems seriously out of touch, and Jesus tries to explain who the two women are. Gregory tells him that Maggie said her group could keep them safe from the Saviors, but so far she’s only put them in danger. He says plausible deniability is their way out. Jesus says it will be dark soon and Gregory says they can stay for the night. Sasha says Maggie is pregnant and Gregory says that’s her mistake. Geez. Jesus tells them he’ll take them back in the morning.

Rick wants to go on a supply run since the Saviors are coming back soon. Carl asks if this is how it’s going to be now, and Rick says yes. Rick gives Michonne a radio and says if she changes her mind, they’re headed North. They kiss good-by.

Carl asks why Michonne didn’t go and she says she needs to figure some things out, like how they do this. Carl says Rick is wrong and she knows it. Michonne says even if she thinks he is, she doesn’t know for sure. She tells Carl to make sure to change his bandage and be nice to Olivia. She leaves. Presumably not to go with Rick.

Carl finds Enid climbing the wall. She’s walking to Hilltop. He says he’s not saving her any more. She says she’s sorry he had to see it, and he says he’s not. He walks away and she goes over the wall.

Jesus tells Sasha he’s glad she’s there. He says he’ll try to change Gregory’s mind, but he’s not a leader. Sasha says she’ll leave and scavage for Hilltop if they’ll keep Maggie. Jesus doesn’t want that, and she asks what he does want. He says he just tries to help where he can, and she tells him maybe he has to do more. He gives her Abraham’s necklace, saying that he liked Abe. He was the only person he knew who could say things that would make you smile and wince at the same time. Yeah, he was the only character with a sense of humor and they killed him off. Thanks, Walking Dead. 😕

Maggie comes in and Jesus says he’s sorry. He’s going to see what he can do. She asks why they burn their dead, and he tells her that the idea was to just keep going. He says he’ll see them in the morning.

Maggie asks now what? Sasha says they’ll stay. She wonders if Gregory is dangerous, but Maggie thinks it’s worse – he’s a coward.

Enid rides her bike toward Hilltop and almost gets attacked by a zombie, but a car runs it over. It’s Carl. A man true to his word. She asks why he’s there, and he says he was just going for a drive.

At Hilltop, everyone is asleep and loud music starts blasting from nowhere. Sasha sees the gates open and fires burning. She goes up to the roof. A bunch of zombies are walking through the gate. WTF?

Sasha calls to Jesus (no, not that Jesus), saying that Maggie needs help. Some of the guys come out. Jesus kicks ass. Sasha tries to get into the car that’s playing the music. It’s wrapped in chains, and the hatchback is sealed with a middle finger made out of metal. Gregory watches from a window. Sasha almost stabs Jesus by accident. He runs to close the gate, but here comes Maggie with a bulldozer. Why fool around? Squish, squash, kick, stab. Maggie rolls over the car, which hopefully isn’t a relative of Christine’s.

Carl and Enid walk down the road. Carl says he’s glad he saw what he did, so when he has a chance to kill Negan, he won’t hesitate. She says it’s how it is you do things for the ones you love, or loved. He says it’s not for love. He says he’s sorry he locked her in, and she says she didn’t need to see it. Enid says they don’t even know if Maggie is okay, and Carl says they’ll get there.

Jesus talks to Gregory, who tells him all this can be his if he sticks around and becomes a part of things. Wow. What incentive. Maggie and Sasha come in, and Gregory tells them they have to go. Jesus can’t believe he’s saying that after the save last night. Sasha says she’ll go; Maggie can stay and they’ll call it even. She asks how they can make this work, and Gregory says they could meet one on one (wink-wink). She tells him to go to hell. He cancels an order for preserves he was going to give them, like it matters, and I’m thinking forget coward, this dude is a nut.

A truck caravan is coming in. Gregory says Maggie and Sasha have to hide. He tells Jesus to put them in the closet. It’s the Saviors. Zzzzzz….. Sorry, but they’re such one-trick ponies.

Carl finds a backpack with roller skates in it. How fortuitous! He and Enid skate down the road. They hold hands. 16 Magazine readers go crazy.

Gregory opens the door and the Saviors walk in with Simon at the helm. This is so stupid. Gregory welcomes them to Hilltop and tells them to make themselves at home. Simon says it isn’t a social call; they need to talk. He wants to talk in the study and see some painting. Referring to Rick and company, Simon tells Gregory that the people he used to deal with have been removed from the field of play. Gregory acts ignorant.

Gregory tells Simon that the message was loud and clear. Now it’s Simon’s turn to act ignorant. They look at the painting. I looked this up and it’s Portrait of Charles V on Horseback by Anthony van Dyck. There doesn’t seem to be any meaning behind it though. Simon says the Saviors like to show management by example, and last night was them working their asses off to provide an example. He says people at Hilltop probably forget what the corpses look and smell like. He says they were going to come in for a save, but the Hilltoppers cleaned up the mess themselves – “good on ya.” He says since they picked up their skills from the Saviors, it was still their win. I had a boss like him once. Simon calls Gregory a team player, and says his people are spoiled. He refers to Rick’s group again, and says the Hilltoppers who associated with them are extremely dead, and the people who killed them work for Negan now and are real go-getters. Gregory says it’s a shame, but tell Negan that he understands the benefits in crossing the aisle, whatever that means. Simon says for now everything is as Negan wants, but thanks him for recognizing what they bring to the table. That’s why he’s still there while others aren’t. Simon asks if there’s anything else Gregory wants him to know. Uh-oh. Trick question.

Gregory comes out of his office with Simon. Jesus looks hard at them. It looks like Gregory is going to rat out Maggie and Sasha when he opens a locked closet, but the only thing inside is a case of Scotch. Simon says he hates Scotch – it tastes like ashtray and window cleaner – but Negan will love it. I hate it too, although I’d probably be more gracious in my description. No points for Gregory though, since Simon is going to say it’s from him. He takes the case, and tells his men to take half of whatever they have. And the painting. Simon asks Gregory if he can get a kneel out of him and I think he said “neon,” so I wonder wth? for a moment, and think he has neon signs as well as paintings. Simon tells Gregory it’s a solid kneel and remember it for next time. These guys are so boring. Where is Ezekiel when I need him?

Carl doesn’t think Negan is there, since he doesn’t see the truck. Enid tells him that she knows he wasn’t taking a drive, he was coming to get her. He asks her to come with him to kill Negan. She says it would be for them, not Abe, Glenn, or Maggie. She says asks how, but Carl says it wouldn’t matter. He kisses her forehead and then they start really kissing. Tween/teen Twitter accounts explode. Enid tells him he shouldn’t go, but she can’t stop him.

Jesus lets Maggie and Sasha out of a different closet. Gregory says he told Jesus the hallway closet, and Maggies says, yeah, so he could give them up. Jesus asks Gregory wants to let everyone know he works for the Saviors and lose his position. He says that Maggie and Sasha are staying, and they’ll be one big dysfunctional family. Gregory says he made progress today, and he’ll see them through it. He says the Saviors can be reasonable, and Maggie punches him. She takes the pocket watch from him. He tells her that he didn’t want it left out in the rain. Since he’s been calling her everything except what her actual name is, Maggie says he’s going to start calling her by her name now – Maggie Rhee.

Jesus talks to Maggie and Sasha about Gregory, saying that when he got there, Gregory was already in charge. He thinks it just happened, and it wasn’t because Gregory had any special skills. He apologizes for not talking to him sooner. Maggie leaves for the trailer. Sasha tells Jesus that if he wants to make it up to them, he can he find out where Negan lives. Jesus says that one of the trucks is going back soon, so sure. She asks him to keep it between them. He says that he doesn’t like not telling Maggie, and she says she doesn’t either.

Maggie sees Enid at the graves. Enid asks if Maggie is okay, and Maggie says she’s not. She says she won’t be either, and hugs Enid.

Enid says she heard Maggie killed some walkers and a car when she’s supposed to take it easy. Maggie says it wasn’t too hard she’s had practice. Sasha comes in surprised to see Enid. Sasha asks why balloons are on Abe’s grave, and Enid says there’s nothing marking it. Maggie tells Sashe that she was going to use the watch her father gave Glenn to mark his, but decided to give it to Enid instead. Enid asks if she doesn’t want to keep it to remember Glenn by, but Maggie says that they don’t need anyting to remember him by – they have themselves. Well, she also has a baby coming. Maggie says a prayer before they eat.

The Saviors load up the truck and the caravan leaves. Sasha sharpens her knife. Jesus sneaks into a truck and drinks some Scotch. As he’s pouring the remainder of the bottle out, he sees that Carl is in the truck with him. Hi, Carl! Tiger Beat readers go out of their minds.

Next time, Negan wants to bring civilization back to the world, and Rick says they have to do something. Biggest. Understatement. Ever.

What would Carl and Jesus do?

💋 Just brushing up against The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya went with Matt to his family reunion in Cincinnati. Even though she offered to pay for his first class plane ticket, Matt insisted on driving, feeling that it would be a bonding experience. An 8-hour car ride and Kenya agreed. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Porsha is looking for a baby daddy, frightening all of us. First of all, because she’s going to breed, and secondly that there might be someone out there who agrees with this cockamamie idea, and that’s who she’s going to breed with. She and Phaedra are the two phoniest phonies I’ve ever seen. If they had a full brain between them, they’d be dangerous.

It looks like Sheree might get back together with Bob, although he’s moving a bit fast for both of our tastes.

Next time, Phaedra sets up a game of drunk laser tag and Mama Joyce goes nuts. Both of those events should make it worth watching.

November 18, 2016 – Valentin Obtient la Garde, Lucy is Found Then Unfound & Quotes to Ponder

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Valentin opens his arms and Charlotte goes to him. She whispers something to him in French. He tells her the nice judge will decide if he’s taking her home.

Curtis meets Julian for breakfast. He says he’s done some more digging. Julian says Sonny confessed at the funeral, but Curtis says he almost confessed. Somebody stopped him.

Franco looks at Tom’s picture in the newspaper online at the hospital. He flashes back to choking Tom. Suddenly, the paper is gone and it’s a 404 error. He starts banging on the computer and I identify. The tech guy comes by and tells him that’s not going to help. Franco sees Sam in the hallway.

Elizabeth is about to go into Kelly’s and Tom is there. She asks if he’s following her, but he says it’s a coincidence. He’s glad he ran into her though, because they have unfinished business.

Jax makes surprise waffles for Josslyn, and I’m skeptical that they’re homemade. Josslyn tells him that she misses Morgan. She says yesterday was hard, and she wasn’t even there for the worst of it. She can’t believe what Sonny said. Jax says he did the right thing. Josslyn thinks Carly will never go back to him now.

Carly shows up at Sonny’s cell. Sonny tells Carly he wants to make it right, and wants Morgan to have peace. She says there is no peace. She brings out a jar and says there’s pieces of their son in there. She opens it. Sonny wakes up. Jason is there.

Jax tells Josslyn that he can’t answer that question. Carly comes in and sits with Josslyn to eat. Jax says he’ll try pancakes tomorrow and Carly says it sounds like he’s staying a while. Josslyn says she wants him here, and so does mom.

Elizabeth takes out her pepper spray. Tom says he’s not going to hurt her. He tells her that legally, he can’t say certain things, but if he’s ever done anything to harm her, he’s sorry. He says he’s trying to get on with his life, and she doesn’t have to send her boyfriend after him. Elizabeth says Franco told her about it and she doesn’t blame him. Tom says Franco left out the part about choking him.

Franco apologizes to Sam for what happened in Hawaii. He says it was sick, but there’s no excuse, tumor or no tumor. He apologizes for what he took away from her. He knows it’s a lot to ask, but hopes that one day she’ll forgive him. She tells him to go to hell. Well, that answers that question.

The judge asks Claudette why she calls Valentin “papa,” and Charlotte says because he is. The judge asks if she likes him, and Charlotte says she loves him.

Curtis tells Julian that he thinks Jason knows more than they do. Julian says he’ll be right back, and wants to hear about some actual investigating. Curtis moves over to sit with Diane. He wants to talk about her client.

Sonny asks what Jason has for him. Jason says the bomb had nothing to do with Sonny or hi contractor, but they have to find out who planted it. Sonny asks if it matters, since Morgan is dead. He wonders why he should keep fighting.

Carly tells Josslyn that Jax has work and a life. Jax says he has no obligations right now, and he can stay as long as they need him. Carly offers a suite at the hotel, but Josslyn wants him to stay with them.

Sam asks what Franco’s end game is, to lower their defenses so he can blindside them? He says something happened to someone he cared about, and he realizes he has to come to terms with some things .He doesn’t want to be that guy. It dawns on Sam that he’s talking about Elizabeth, and she says there is no being better person; he’s sick and cruel and he’s lying to himself.

Tom shows Elizabeth the marks on his neck. He tells her that Franco said he was going to torture Tom until he begged for death. He says he doesn’t want to go to the police or harm her, and to tell Franco that he’s no threat to her. Elizabeth says he’ll always be a threat because of what he took from her.

The judge wants to wrap it up. Valentin says his daughter loves and trusts him, and wants to be with him. Anna says he’s dangerous. Valentin says she only has allegations, and to prove it. Anna shows the judge some Interpol stuff. She says Valentin didn’t even exist prior to 2011. She thinks he intends to disappear again, with Charlotte. The judge wants to review and deliberate in private. They step outside. Griff tells Anna, nice save, but Valentin says he wouldn’t be so sure.

Diane tells Curtis that Sonny must have remembered her advice and kept silent. Curtis says that Sonny talked to Jason. Diane tells him that she has nothing to say, since he’s working for dirtbag Julian. She thanks him for picking up the tab and leaves.

Jason tells Sonny that he didn’t fail Morgan. No matter what guilt he’s feeling, it isn’t going to change anything, and throwing his life away won’t help anyone. He asks if Sonny wants Avery with Ava. Sonny says Carly will work it out. Jason asks if Sonny knows Oscar Jessup. Sonny says when he worked for Skully, Oscar was a contractor for the Jeromes. Jason tells him not to do something he can’t take back, and that it’s not too late.

Jax tells Josslyn not to put her mom on the spot, but Carly says she’s right. They have plenty of room. Josslyn wants to finish her homework so her weekend is free. When she’s gone, Carly asks Jax how he thinks she’s doing. He says she’s hurting a lot. Carly is worried she’s not there for Josslyn, and Jax says that Josslyn gets her strength from Carly.

Griff says Claudette meant something to him and he owes it to her to fight for Charlotte. Valentin says Claudette only has a passing relationship with the truth, and doesn’t love him. Griff asks what Valentin did to her and punches him. Well, that was a bad move.

The judge comes out, asking if she needs to call security, or are the three of them capable of sitting down while she renders her decision? She says she understands it’s a heated situation, but she can’t condone any violence. She tells them what just happened has no bearing on her decision, but it’s clear that Charlotte has bonded with her father, is secure in his presence, and loves him. Anna has serious allegations, but no corroborating evidence, and his lack of history has no bearing on his fitness as a parent. She awards custody to Valentin.

Carly tells Jax it’s great having him there, for Josslyn and for her. He knows what she needs. He tells her that the waffles are a one time thing. He’s making a green smoothie tomorrow and he won’t let her put it in the planter. She laughs and says it’s been a while since she found anything funny. She says Morgan wouldn’t like her like this, but his life is over. Jax says he wouldn’t want hers to be. She wonders how to move through this. Jax puts his arm round her and says maybe they can try together. Josslyn sees them and smiles.

Jason meets Sam. She tells him about Franco. She thinks he’s trying to get into her head. He apologized for what happened in Hawaii and says he truly regrets it. Jason asks how Sam feels. She says it’s not up to her to make him feel better, and thinks he’s a coward. She wonders what Elizabeth is thinking.

Franco asks Elizabeth where the donuts are, and she says she forgot them. She asks if he tried to choke Tom. He says he told her he went to see him, but Elizabeth says he never told her that he tried to choke him. Franco says he never said he didn’t. She says it was lying by omission. Franco says it wasn’t an end-his-life choke, just a send-a-strong- message choke. She wonders if they can make this work. He says he’s not sorry for anything he’s done. Tom is garbage and scares her, and her being scared upsets him. He asks who told her, and she says Tom did.

Griff says the judge can’t give Charlotte to Valentin, but she says there’s no legal reason not to. She talks about equal protections of law, and that you don’t get to violate someone’s rights because of your opinion of them. Should Claudette resurface, that will be a separate matter. Her decision is final. Griff looks sick, and Valentin smiles.

The judge thanks Charlotte for her help and says she’s made her job easy today. She tells Valentin to stay in New York for the time being, and he says he’s staying in Port Charles indefinitely. The judge lets Griff say good by. Griff tells Charlotte that he knows he’s not her dad, but she’s in his heart just the same, and he’ll always be there for her.

Franco is like, what? Elizabeth says she saw Tom at Kelly’s. She says it’s disgusting he’s out of prison, but he’s legally paroled. He has every right to have Franco arrested, but she doesn’t want Franco taken away from her. She wants him to swear he’ll let it go.

Josslyn is doing a report on Pride and Prejudice. She asks Jax and Carly for some input. She talks about Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth, and how they realized they belonged together. She hints that the story relates to Carly and Jax, and asks if she got her point across.

Diane tells Sonny he’s reviewed the confession and has a strong case for reasonable doubt. She says why bother though, since he’s determined to plead guilty, but he says not any more.

Jason tells Sam about talking to Sonny. She says she talked to Spinelli about Jessup’s phone number. In perfect soap timing, her phone rings and it’s Spinelli.

Curtis tells Julian that something about the bomb doesn’t add up. Julian tells him go on a wild goose chase on his own time. Since Sonny confessed, Curtis doesn’t need to follow up anymore. He’s fired.

Anna tells Valentin she’ll uncover the truth about him. He tells her to open her eyes in Latin and leaves with Charlotte.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Tom has done enough damage; they can’t let his release from prison consume them. She goes back to work, and Franco thinks about what Sam said to him. The computer tech comes by, and Franco asks if he can break into the cloud and hypothetically track someone’s GPS.

After she goes back upstairs, Jax and Carly talk about Josslyn wanting to pair them up again. Jax says she probably thinks it would get Carly away from Sonny. Carly says other people see Jax and Sonny as opposites, but she looks at them at individuals. She says she and Jax’s time with each other was herhappiest, and she should have worked harder at the relationship. They kiss.

Diane asks if Sonny has decided to take her advice, and he says yes. She wonders what brought about his change of heart. He tells her that they both want the same thing – justice.

Sam hangs up with Spinelli. She says Oscar has been dead since 1990.

Curtis tells Julian that he’s done good work. Julian can’t argue with that, but says he wanted Sonny in prison and that’s where he’s going. He gives Curtis a check. Curtis leaves, and Julian’s phone rings. Julian says he got rid of him like he was asked, and he’s done everything Jessup has wanted.

On Monday, Curtis asks Hayden what’s going on, Jason is afraid they’re too late, and Jax is hesitant, but Carly isn’t.

Z Nation

Doc and Addie run as some Lucy’s adoptive father shoots at them. Her adoptive mother, who also has a gun, them. She says she won’t hesitate to shoot them, and that Lucy needs new friends. They’re taken inside.

Murphy says he needs an assistant for all the paperwork. 10K is brought in to see him. He tells 10K  that he’s not like the others; they’ve all embraced him. When he doesn’t have a booster shot, he’s a pita, but when he has one, he’s uncommunicative. He reacts, but doesn’t act. They’re preparing to go to war, and 10K should be leading. Murphy says they need to fix his problem. He thinks it might be 10K’s name. It’s also his mission and purpose, and as long as he’s 10K, he’s of no use. He needs a new purpose. The world has moved past zombie killing and he needs a new mission. He renames 10K “Thomas,” and says first, he needs to know if he can trust him.

Addie and Doc are tied to chairs. “Pa” says they aren’t playing games. Doc says they’re not there to cause trouble. “Ma” asks who they are and where they’re from. Addie makes the introductions, and says they came from upstate. Doc says they were traveling with Murphy. Addie tells them that Murphy sent them to get his daughter. Doc adds that he helped deliver her. Addie explains that Murphy asked them to take him to California. Pa says that must be at least 100 miles and she tells him it’s more like a few thousand. And I thought I was geographically challenged.

Pa asks if Addie is a princess. Doc says it’s really Lucy talking, and Addie asks if he’s having a stroke. Addie remarks on how big Lucy is. Ma says the zombies love her; they keep her safe and even help with the chores. Addie asks Lucy if she’d like to go on a trip, and Lucy says she’d like to see her daddy. Pa says they have to see if they’re telling the truth, but Doc says how would they know all this? Pa says just give them the password. Ma says Murphy gave them a password in case he had to send someone one day.

Addie tells Doc to tell them the password. He looks at Lucy and says “Smurf ,” and waits to be shot. The couple puts their guns down. Pa brings out a humongous knife and says he’s cutting them loose. He amends that to it’s the wrong password and Doc is going to meet his maker. Doc says Murphy must have given them the wrong password and asks for a do-over. Addie tells Lucy they can’t take her to see her daddy if Pa kills Doc. Lucy says she wants to play with them, but Pa says they mean her harm. She says no, play. Ma tells her whatever she says, and they’re cut loose. Ma says they’re not out of the frying pan yet.

Lucy takes them to meet her friends. A bunch of zombies hanging out in the backyard, dressed as princesses, pirates, and fairy tale characters.

Lucy tells Addie and Doc not to be afraid; these are her friends. Addie thinks Lucy’s friends aren’t going to like them. Doc explains they’re not like her; the zombies think they’re food. Lucy gives them “tea,” and then wants to play hide and seek. Doc is “it,” and the zombies and Addie are supposed to hide.

Murphy asks 10K if he knows the knife game and 10K nods. He does that between the fingers thing with the knife. Murphy says they have a history. He needs to know it won’t interfere with things and what 10K is willing to do for him. 10K’s knife goes faster. Murphy says he needs to know if he’ll kill for him and die for him. 10k now Thomas moves the knife even faster.

Doc finishes counting. He hears Lucy giggle. He’s not about to find any of the zombies, so he starts looking for her. Ma is behind the house with a gun and he tags her. She seems annoyed. Doc follows the sound of Lucy laughing. And finds a zombie dressed like Raggedy Ann.

Murphy concentrates on 10K with leopard iris eyes. 10K stabs himself and stops with the knife. Murphy says good thing it wasn’t his trigger finger, and wraps the wound. He says let’s talk about the new mission.

The zombie tries to attack Doc. He calls for Lucy. He grabs a rock and hits the zombie in the head with it. Addie runs to him, asking if he’s okay. Lucy comes out asking them to do it again. She wants Raggedy Ann to get up, but that’s not happening. Addie says Doc had to stop her or she would have bit him. She’s dead. Lucy says Doc broke her and she hates him; he ruined everything. She runs off, and Addie follows. Pa goes too, and the zombies surround Doc, but Ma is still there with a gun.

Addie and Pa run after Lucy through the woods. Ma takes Doc inside. Seriously, what was he supposed to do? Ma says they’ll have to round the zombies up now, since Lucy hates it when they run off. Then they’ll probably shoot him. She asks if he’d like tea.

Lucy checks out some flowers. A zombie comes out of the woods, and she tells it to take her home, but the zombie is threatening. Lucy says bad zombie, but the zombie says she’s no zombie, and to come here. Lucy screams.

Lucy comes to the edge of a cliff and tells the woman to stop. Addie comes up from behind and knocks the woman down. She tells Lucy it’s not a zombie, she just looks like one, and to run. Addie fights the woman and grabs a huge stick, chasing her off. Lucy says Addie saved her and runs to her.

Murphy gives 10K instructions and asks if he understands. 10K nods. He says he has a surprise for him, and shows him a syringe. He says it’s what 10K wants, to be himself again and be human. 10K hesitates. Murphy concentrates, and 10K puts the syringe down. Murphy says good, and to remember what they talked about. 10K leaves.

Lucy jumps up and down, happy she’s going to meet her dad. Doc says he brought her into the world and won’t let anything happen to her. She asks about her mommy. Addie says her name was Serena and she loved Lucy very much. Doc tells the story of Murphy and Serena meeting, and we flash back. He says they fell in love over a blueberry pie. He says they were king and queen of the apocalypse. Lucy asks if they lived in a castle. Doc says yes, and we flash back to things that didn’t happen. Lucy asks how babies are made. Doc says it’s like baking a pie. They loved each other so much, they ate the whole pie she baked. Lucy asks if that’s why she’s blue, and Doc says yes. He says by the time they finished the pie, her mom had a bun in the oven of her own. We see Serena giving Murphy a list of baby needs while he sips a martini.

Doc says they were separated by fate and we see them leaving Serena in the dust. Doc says Murphy looked for her, and we flash back to when they met up again. Doc says that Lucy was ready to come out and meet the world, and he was there to help. We see the delivery, and he says she made quite an entrance. He talks about Murphy loving her immediately. Lucy asks if her mommy loved her. Doc says she loved her so much, she had to fight off zombies who wanted to hurt her. Lucy says zombies are her friends, and Doc says not all of them. We flash back to how Serena met her end. Doc says Serena is a warrior princess, and fought them off and saved her, but afterward, she had to rest, and went to a faraway land. By the time he’s done, Lucy is asleep in Addie’s lap.

Zombies gather outside. Along with a hooded figure that has Freddy Kruegerish knives.

Doc and Addie buckle Lucy into the car. Addie asks where Ma and Pa are. Doc goes back to see what’s keeping them, but the house looks empty. He goes out back and sees them sitting in chairs. He approaches them saying this is best for Lucy. They’ve been tied up. He undoes the bonds, and Ma says it’s his fault. Pa says he lied to them, and the couple chases Doc. He locks the back door and runs out the front. It’s a little tense when he can’t get the front door open, but he breaks the lock.

Doc calls to Addie. Ma says if he hurts her, every zombie in the apocalypse will be after him. Doc says he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. He finds Addie on the ground next to the car. The Man drives off with Lucy. Doc calls to Lucy, saying they’ll find her, and tends to Addie. Ma and Pa come running out.

They come after Doc. He tells Addie to play dead and runs. He lights a flare, and sticks Pa in the back of the head with it. I’m not so sure you could get through a skull with a flare, but okay. Ma knocks Doc down. She tries to bite him, and he says it wasn’t him. Addie comes from behind, and smashes her in the head with a garden gnome.

Lucy asks The Man a million questions, including are we there yet? She says he’s not a good bully, and asks why his head is shiny. He tazes her, and she says do it again. He does it again, and she laughs and says again. He tells her to shut up. She wants her Aunt addie. The Man tells her that Addie is dead and Lucy screams. Murphy hears her.

Doc stitches up Addie’s head wound. Addie says they have to go after her. She says they have to get help. They passed a radio tower and one of them has to contact Citizen Z or Roberta. Doc suggests that she take the motorcycle and follow Lucy; he’ll go to the tower.

Murphy feels hot and it’s getting hard to breathe. He goes out for air, loosening his collar. Somewhere Lucy is fussing with some ropes. She has a hood over her head and is gasping. The Man stops the car. He takes Lucy’s hood off. He asks what happened to her, I assume he’s noticing her color for the first time, and she says wait until she tells her daddy.

Murpy stares into the distance, presumably connecting with Lucy.

Addie rides down the highway with determination.

Outside Murphytown, 10K looks at his dog tags that say Thomas. He consults a paper. We don’t see it, but there’s not much written on it. What there is, is written in large print in felt marker. I can make out the words “end” and “kill.”

Next time, Doc makes a broadcast and becomes a guru.

Quotes of the Week

What’s the answer to a perfect square? – You. — Greg Ottot (Diedrich Bader) and Taylor Otto (Meg Donnelly) respectively, on American Housewife

The highest glory of the American Revolution was this: It connected in one indissoluble bond the principles of civil government with the principles of Christianity. From the day of the Declaration, the American people were bound by the laws of God.John Quincy Adams, the sixth President of the United States, 1821

Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.Judge Judy

November 17, 2016 – GH, the Whole GH & Nothing But the GH

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Can’t get away from Little Women: LA’s Christy. She was on People’s Court as the defendant in a fender bender case, bringing along her daughter as a witness. She lost.

General Hospital

Nell tells Carly that everything is under control. Carly tells her she went to see Sonny.

Jax has to go back to the bar to get his credit card. The bartender says someone else got lucky with his lady friend.

Alexis wakes up in a strange room hearing the shower running. She vaguely remembers Tom at the bar.

At the hospital, Elizabeth looks at Tom’s picture in the newspaper. Franco strolls in, saying he handled the situation. He says whatever her problem is, he can fix it, but she says her problem is him.

Anna tells Griff that Valentin petitioned the court as soon as they left with Charlotte, and there’s a hearing this morning. She says he must be well connected in Port Charles (seriously – who gets a hearing that quickly?), but he’s going to need more than biology on his side. Griff is afraid he’ll never see Charlotte again. Anna tells him don’t think like that and Valentin suddenly pops into the conversation, saying that Griff needs to accept that Charlotte is his daughter and she’s coming home with him.

Carly tells Nell that Jason uncovered some new information. Michael joins them,and asks Nell if she’s studying. Nell explains to Carly that she’s learning chess. Carly says Michael is unbeatable, but she’s glad he has someone to play with because Morgan had no patience.

Michael sits down with Carly. She asks what’s going on with him and Nell. She says she’s never seen Nell joking around like that, and she’s glad they’re becoming friends.

I laugh when Valentin tells Griff, “Christian thoughts,” as he walks past him and over to Charlotte. Anna tells Griff that Valentin might be Charlotte’s biological father, but he’s also a mercenary. Griff tells her that he postponed his meeting with the bishop, and she asks if he’s hedging his bets. He says that crossed his mind, but he wants the whole story first. He wonders why the courts would give him custody anyway, and Anna says the court is supposed to look out for the best interest of the child. Valentin brings Charlotte to their table and tells them see you in court.

Elizabeth wants to know what Franco did to get Tom to promise not to hurt her again. She says she’s under the impression that Franco broke in to confront him. Franco says no breaking, just entering. She asks if he threatened Tom, and he says he spoke truth to power. He says Tom has misconceptions about him that he didn’t correct, and asks why it matters how he got the message, as long as he did. Elizabeth says his actions matter. She understands he’s trying to help, but if he doesn’t stop, Tom could ruin her life all over again.

Alexis pulls her clothes on. She remembers drinking with Tom. She remembers flirting with Tom and drinking some more. She remembers more than any of us would if we had a black out. She remembers him asking where she lives, and telling him way too far for either of them to drive in this condition, and him saying maybe they don’t have to go that far. She calls out asking how long he’s going to be in the bathroom and then asks if he’s okay, wondering what she did last night. Duh. She says she’s coming in.

The bartender tells Jax that all he heard them say was that there’s a motel across the street.

There’s no one in the bathroom, and Alexis wonders what the blip happened. She remembers dancing with Tom. Alexis flashes back. Tom says that a loser in Port Charles gave him crap earlier and his night has improved. He tells her about Franco, and she laughs, saying that Franco’s real name is Robert. Tom asks her if she knows Franco, and she says that he’s a reformed serial killer artist and laughs some more. She asks what Franco would want with Tom, and Tom tells her that he’s crazy. He asks if she’s connected to Franco and she asks why it matters. He suddenly remembers he has an early morning, and says he’ll call her. Alexis is like, thank God I didn’t sleep with him. She hears pounding on the door.

Michael tells Carly that he and Nell are on their way to being friends, but it’s not going to be anything more than that. Nell doesn’t want to date the boss’s son, and he’s not ready. Carly says if he did date Nell, she wouldn’t object, but everything is an emotional mess right now, and she doesn’t want to see either one of them hurt.

Nell goes through Carly’s purse and pulls out a block of cash. She’s about to put it into her own purse, and Bobbie asks if she found something interesting.

The hearing starts. The judge says it’s informal, but her decision is binding, and custody of Charlotte will be resolved today. Anna agrees that Valentin is Charlotte’s biological father, and says paternity isn’t the issue, but parental fitness is. She presents a letter from Claudette, indicating that Valentin is dangerous and that she was protecting Charlotte from him. Anna says they have no idea of her whereabouts now.

Elizabeth tells Franco that he could be charged, but he says no one would believe Tom. She says he doesn’t get how close he was to being arrested, and he tells her that she’s worth the risk. She says he just got reinstated at the hospital, and they’re probably waiting for a reason to fire him. She asks him what if Tom sees her as a challenge now? She’s also upset about him lying to her. If he lied once, why wouldn’t he lie again? How can she trust him to be honest with her now?

The hotel manager wants to know why the water has been running since 3 a.m. Alexis says she must have fallen asleep. He says she’ll have to pay for any damages and goes into the bathroom. Jax appears.

Anna presents a letter from Claudette’s mother, as well as statements from Maxie and Nathan, affidavits from Dante and Lulu about Cassadine Island, and statements from Doc, Laura, Ava, Jason, and Sam, all recounting the same basic facts. Valentin held them at gunpoint and shot Nicholas. There’s also a report about Doc being shot. Anna says that Valentin might have been cleared from charges in Greece, but this shows that he shouldn’t be around any child, including his own.

The judge says none of this shows that Griff is a fit parent. She asks if he’s a priest as well as a doctor. When he says he is, she asks him if he really wants to raise a child.

Nell tells Bobbie that it’s not what it looks like. Carly asks what’s going on, and Bobbie tells her that she caught Nell stealing. Bobbie asks Nell if she’s going to deny what she witnessed, and Nell says no.

Elizabeth tells Franco that dinner doesn’t seem like a big lie, but covering up a slew of crimes on her behalf is. Franco says he gets it. She says from here on out, they have to be honest with each other. He’s like, total honesty? He says he didn’t like oysters or David Cronenberg at first, but he can get used to it. He swears he’ll never lie to her again about anything for any reason

Griff tells the judge that if he’s granted custody, he’ll leave the priesthood and devote his life to making Charlotte happy. He believes in his heart that they’re there to do what’s right for Charlotte, and asks to do just that. The judge says he’s made a passionate case.

Valetin says Charlotte isn’t their daughter; she’s his.

Carly tells Bobbie that she told Nell to make a deposit. Nell says Bobbie just misunderstood. Carly takes Bobbie aside, and Michael apologizes to Nell. Nell says it’s a simple mistake. He says when Jax intimated that she was out to get money from his family, she stormed off, but now she doesn’t seem bothered. Carly asks if Bobbie will apologize. Bobbie gets snarky, and Carly doesn’t get it. She says Nell is a great assistant, and knows what she needs before she does.Bobbie says I’ll bet, and Carly asks what she means.

Jax tells Alexis he didn’t buy her story when they were at the bar. He thinks she just wanted a quiet place to tie one on. She says it’s her business. He says he heard she met someone. She says whatever some random bartender knows, or thinks he knows, is irrelevant and none of his business either. She has it under control now. The manager comes out and says it’s flooded, and she owes the place a lot of money. Jax wants to call Alexis’s daughters. He says he loves her and she’s one of his best friends. This isn’t her; she’s spiraling out of control and needs an intervention.

Franco and Elizabeth hug. She says they’re good. Then she says donuts. He asks if that’s code for something, but she forgot to pick them up. He says he promised her a special dinner and asks if she wants it tonight. She says she has to get back to work before they bring out the torches and pitchforks. Franco relates.

Alexis tells Jax that she doesn’t need an intervention. She had too much to drink and talked to a stranger, but it’s nobody’s business. He says under normal circumstances he’d agree, but she’s hanging out in dive bars so no one sees her drink. She says she’s not incompetent and he’s not calling her girls to rescue her; her choices are hers. She’s in control of her faculties and it’s all good. He asks about the bathroom. He doesn’t think she fell asleep; he thinks she passed out. He thinks she’s so upset about Julian that she’s out of control. She says if he thinks her daughters should know about her, maybe his family should know about his involvement with Josslyn’s kidney donation. He says he told her in confidence, and she says her night out is in confidence too.

Bobbie says Nell seems to be studying Carly and doesn’t know what her agenda is, but she has one. Carly says it’s Nell’s job. Bobbie switches topics and says Monica invited her back to GH. She tells Carly to promise she’ll give some thought to what she said. Nell tells Bobbie sorry about the misunderstanding, and Bobbie says it was her fault. Bobbie leaves, and Carly tells Nell that Bobbie is just being overprotective. Michael jokes that he doesn’t know anyone like that. Nell asks if she should write Bobbie a note.

The judge says the statements paint Valentin as a dangerous man. Valentin says there’s no corroborating evidence. He says Doc was trespassing and it was an accident. Griff says that Claudette was afraid of him, and Valentin points out how she lied about pretty much everything, including who Charlotte’s father was. He submits affidavits about Claudette’s various deceptions, and offers to subpoena Maxie and Nathan. The judge feels it’s necessary to hear from Charlotte.

Carly tells Nell there’s no need to follow up. She says not to give it another thought, and Michael says just let it blow over. Nell leaves to make the deposit. Michael wonders why Bobbie doesn’t like Nell. Carly thinks maybe she’s dealing with her grief over Morgan by being protective. In the elevator, Nell says that went well.

Jax tells Alexis that they’ll keep it between the two of them, but begs her to pull herself together, for herself and everyone who loves her. He leaves and raccoon-eyed Alexis looks panicked. She gets a text from Diane that her suspension is being reviewed after the first of the year.

The judge asks Charlotte what she calls Valentin, and Charlotte says “papa.”

Elizabeth goes to Kelly’s and Tom is outside. He says it’s been a long time. Good job, Franco, for helping to direct his attention to her.

Tomorrow, Carly visits Sonny again, Tom tells Elizabeth that they have unfinished business, and Franco apologizes to Sam.

November 16, 2016 – Lucy & Scotty Team Up, Little LA Wraps It Up & a Roanoke Mention

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn ponders Hayden sleeping. She wakes a little, and asks what he’s done to her.

Elizabeth tries to call Franco.

Does Franco have a man bun? Please, no. The phone rings but he doesn’t answer. He tells Tom he’s there about Elizabeth, the girl Tom raped. He flings himself on Tom and pummels him.

Jax and Alexis go to lunch at some out-of-the-way dive. She says no one they know will see them there, and he asks if she’s ready for the drink he promised. I’ll bet she is.

Ava sees Scotty at The Floating Rib. He says Lucy wants to be wined and dined, and they’re meeting for dinner there. He tries to get Ava to leave so Lucy won’t be suspicious, but she’s meeting Kiki. Too late anyway; Lucy walks in.

Michael asks Nell to distract him. Give him something else to think about. Well…

Carly visits Sonny in the clink.

Scotty suggests he and Lucy go to her apartment. She says it’s not a booty call. Wine and dine her, and maybe they’ll discuss it. He says he doesn’t want Ava to make her lose her appetite. Kiki comes in and Lucy says just ignore them. She suggests they start with champagne.

Alexis downs half of her drink before Jax can even make a toast. He asks about her having a hard time right now, and she says it’s definitely up there as far as anxiety goes. She blames herself for Julian not going to prison, and says she’s the reason everything got out of control. Jax tells her that sometimes the choices they make out of love come back to haunt them for the rest of their days. She asks him what’s up with that, and he says he can’t tell anyone else. He did something in secret years ago that could ruin Carly’s life.

Sonny is surprised that Carly came to see him, and Carly says she is too. She read his letter about how he divided all of his assets. He says he owed it to Morgan. She asks if he still feels that way, and says Jason filled her in. She asks if that changes anything.

Despite what we all had in mind, Nell suggests backgammon, but Michael is thinking chess. Nell says he’ll slaughter her because he’s a strategy king. He says she’s quitting before they start, and she tells him to bring out the chessboard.

Hayden is confused, and Finn tells her she went into septic shock. He tells her that she’s at the Quartermaines’. There was a problem at the hospital, and Tracy stepped in. Hayden asks what’s going to happen to her.

Elizabeth leaves a message for Franco, telling him not to hurt Tom. If he does, he goes to prison. She says she’s coming there to get him, even though she never wants to lay eyes on Tom again.

Franco tosses Tom around like a football. Tom says he wasn’t in prison for rape. Franco says he did his homework and knows everything about Tom. He says there’s no record of him harming Elizabeth, but he knows Tom raped her, and it’s time for him to pay for his crime.

Finn tells Hayden that it’s too soon to make a diagnosis. She asks if she’s going to have what he has, but he doesn’t know yet. She says if this is how he feels all the time, she doesn’t know how he does it. He says that’s why the medication is important, and she needs to rest. She asks what happened at the hospital. He says there was an altercation and he quit. She asks how he’s going to treat her.

Elizabeth gets a call from Finn. She tells him she’s in the middle of a personal emergency, but he says he has his own going on. He’s out of antibiotics. He asks her to help save her sister’s life.

Tom says his brother is coming home soon, and Franco will be arrested. Franco says they’re two people who happen to be sociopaths. He introduces himself, and Tom says they talk about him beating the system in prison. Franco says it seems like there’s always going to be a part of him that’s a sadistic freak. Tom says Franco can change. He did.

Carly wants to know why Morgan was manic. She tells Sonny that Morgan’s journal proves that he was vigilant in taking his medication. It’s obvious the pills weren’t working. Sonny says he’s looking for other answers. Like who killed Morgan.

Ava asks Kiki if she wants to go somewhere else instead of where she works. She says it‘s fine. She tells Ava that it’s not just about feeling guilty, she misses Morgan, the way he listened and made her laugh. She asks if Ava heard about how they filled Morgan’s coffin with things he loved because there was no body. Ava says she was there.

Scotty suggests he and Lucy get some food to go. She says it sounds yummy, but she knows what he’s doing. She has something he wants, and he says yeah, a hot body. She says it’s something else, and he says he’d like her heart too. She says what he wants is what she has right there, and shows him the pill bottle. It’s a brilliant idea to be holding that up in a public place. Maybe she should talk louder too.

Tom insists to Franco that he’s been rehabilitated. He grew and changed, and is a counselor now. He says he wants to be an asset to society instead of a drain. He swears he could never force himself on a woman again. Franco says he doesn’t care.

Hayden asks if she has the same thing that’s killing Finn. He says they have to do more tests, but you don’t go into septic shock unless there’s a massive infection. He’s going to do everything he can for her. She says there’s no cure, and that means she’s dying. She says she’s sure that makes him happy. I have no clue why she would say that, or why Finn doesn’t respond to her saying that.

Jax tells Alexis that when Josslyn needed a kidney donor, he would have done anything. He talks about how Carly thought the donor was Jake, but found out otherwise, and then searched for the real donor. He says at the time, he’d put out feelers everywhere, and Alexis asks him if the black market was involved. He says he would have done anything regardless of the consequences.

Nell is beating Michael at chess, and she says they could switch to poker, but she supposes he’s a master at that too. He talks about Sonny having owned a casino and how Jax is a poker wiz. Nell thinks he must be letting her win.

Lucy says Ava wants Scotty to romance her so everyone won’t find out what she did. She asks if he thinks she’s dense. She tells him to man up and own it.

Kiki reminds Ava that she’d said she wasn’t going to the funeral. Ava says she needed closure too, and she snuck in as everyone else was leaving. Kiki says she missed Sonny’s confession.

Carly asks what Sonny is going to do. He says for one thing, not go to prison. Carly says she was against that anyway, since his kids need him; it would have been a waste. She asks if he’s going to retaliate when Jason finds out who’s responsible. Sonny says she’s asking him to move steps ahead from where he is. He says everything happened so quickly, he hasn’t been able to process anything yet. He knows the answer she wants, but he can’t say it. She says that’s her answer.

Jax tells Alexis about Nell showing up, and how she told Carly the story about her parents selling one of her kidneys. Alexis asks if Carly knows about his involvement, but he’s not sure.

Nell says Michael is genuinely kind, which she finds a rare quality. He says ditto, and talks about everything she’s done for his family. She says that’s different. When she showed up, she needed answers. Carly gave them to her and then offered her a job. She says there’s nothing kind about it. Michael wins the chess game.

Elizabeth brings the antibiotics to Finn. Hayden says she’s dying. When Elizabeth asks why she thinks that, Hayden tells her that she was just being dramatic. Elizabeth asks Finn about Hayden being infected, and says it must be serious if she went into shock. She gets a text from Franco and says she has to go. She hopes Hayden feels better, and tells Finn that the next time he wants her to do something illegal, a little honesty would be nice.

Franco starts choking Tom. Tom tells Franco he’s sorry about Elizabeth. Franco says Tom took away a life, the life Elizabeth knew. He made her afraid and robbed her. Tom says he’s sorry, and Franco says he is too, sorry Tom got paroled. Tom swears he’ll never come near Elizabeth again. Franco asks if Tom’s pals in prison told him that Franco gets off on watching people suffer. Tom begs Franco not to kill him.

Scotty admits he was trying to get the pills. Lucy says it’s not okay, and wonders why he’s being loyal to Ava over her. He says if Ava owed him a favor, it’s good to have a mobster in your pocket. Lucy asks if he was going to steal them before or after they had sex. He says definitely after, and she punches him. She says considering their history, she’s sad and disappointed that he tried to make a fool out of her for Ava. She mentions that Kiki doesn’t know Ava was sleeping with Morgan before he died. Lucy decides to tell Kiki everything.

Ava is stunned that Sonny confessed, and Kiki tells her that he took responsibility for Morgan’s death. Ava asks if he was arrested, and Kiki says Jordan was waiting until got to the station. Kiki wonders why Ava isn’t thrilled about it.

Michael asks if Nell wants a rematch. She’s about to move a chess piece, and he touches her hand, saying she doesn’t want to make that move.

Alexis thinks Jax should tell Carly. He says it’s not the best time. She asks what he’s not telling her, and he says now isn’t the time for that either, and asks for the check. She says she thinks she’ll stay, and he asks why.

Sonny tells Carly that he doesn’t have all the information, so he can’t make a decision. She says look at where he’s standing, look at their reality. They’re the the parents of a dead son, and up until a half hour ago, he thought he was responsible. She asks if he’s learned anything.

Scotty tells Lucy that Kiki just buried her boyfriend. Lucy tells him not to guilt her. He says what if it was Serina? He thinks the reason why Lucy is holding the pills is the reason that’s motivating him – they both want to have something on Ava, and if Lucy gives the sword away, they lose leverage. He suggests she throw in with him and they take Ava to the cleaners

Ava tells Kiki that Sonny did right by Morgan, which is more than she can say for herself.

Nell thinks maybe a rematch isnt a good idea. It’s too easy to like Michael, and it’s not good for either of them. She works for his mother, and if they get close, it could get awkward. He says she went from touching hands to a bad break up in 20 seconds. Ha-ha! He says his family is falling apart, and whether she likes it or not, he considers her a friend. She says she can handle a friendship, and that his family isn’t falling apart, because he won’t let them. He still wants the rematch, but she tells him not to be so certain he’ll win. She’s off to buy a book on chess.

Carly asks Sonny if Morgan’s death doesn’t count for anything. She says he’s telling her that if Jason finds the killer, he’ll do the same thing all over again. She says she loves him and always will, and she’s glad he didn’t kill Morgan, but something has to change. If not him, it has to be her. She walks out.

Alexis tells Jax that she has phone calls to make and she’ll take an Uber home. Jax pays the check and asks her if she’s sure. She says she’s a big girl. He tells her to take care of herself and leaves. She asks for another drink.

Hayden asks Finn what happens next. He can’t get back in the hospital for his research, he’s running low on medication, and now he has to share it. He says it’s not all bad, Roxie is here. He tells Hayden that he has no answers right now, but he knows he’s not going to let her die. She says they’re in it together now.

At the hospital, Elizabeth makes a call asking about the pathogen found in Finn’s lab, and says to call her back with the information. Franco walks in, and she asks what he was thinking and what he did. He says Tom is never coming after her again, and she doesn’t need to be afraid anymore.

Tom sits down across from Alexis and offers to pay for her drink. I go, oh! out loud.

Tomorrow, Jax can’t find Alexis, the custody hearing happens, and Carly grills Michael about Nell.

Little Women: LA – The Reunion – Part Two

We jump right into Christy’s sobriety struggles. She says she’s been sober for over six years and she only had a problem with alcohol. We flash back to some of the girls thinking she was taking pills. Kevin pumps her about a possible relapse. Silence. She walks off to get a tissue, and then insists she hasn’t relapsed. Kevin asks Jasmine if it’s fair and she says no; if you haven’t seen it happen, you can’t accuse someone. Christy says she’s been stressed lately because of her daughter’s and father’s health issues. We see some clips of her being stressed.

Todd talks about watching Christy going through her struggles. He says he’d be on pain pills, but she does everything in her power not to go there. Tonya suggests Christy should be focusing on that instead of Briana. Terra says everyone is going trough crap, whether she knows it or not. She says she went through ovary cyst surgery herself, but she shouldn’t use situations at home as an excuse for acting out on her friends.

Kevin asks if she feels isolated, and Christy says a little. She doesn’t know if the girls are her friends anymore, with the exception of Jasmine and Elena. Tonya is on the fence. So I guess that leaves Terra and Briana. Elena says she tried to fix what was broken. She feels that there’s a future for Briana and Christy’s friendship. She says it’s different with Terra though, because of the police report. She talks about Briana waffling on forgiving Christy. Briana says she was pushed too much. She says she was there for Christy, but not vice versa. Moving on.

We take a look at Little LA’s maternity ward. Kevin suggests there was something in the water, and I tend to agree. He asks if they got a hospital discount. He asks Jasmine how her pregnancy is going. She has gestational diabetes, and is hoping to take care of it with diet. He asks about Elena’s twins. She says they’re growing so fast, before she knows it, they’re going to be in college. She’s sleeping four hours tops, and Terra says four hours sounds like heaven. She says Penny is doing well with D’Artagnan as long as he’s sleeping, but she is showing a jealous streak. Briana talks about her health scare.

The babies’ names are discussed. I love all of them. Unusual without being freaky or embarrassing. They talk about Joe’s opposition to the name D’Artagnan. Terra says he was fine with it until his family got involved. Kevin asks Jasmine if she has anything picked out, but not yet. Or maybe she’s just not telling.

Preston, Chris and Kerwin join the ladies. We see the clip of Tonya saying she thought Briana would have an easier time with a little baby and how that got so blown out of proportion. Tonya sticks by her original comment. Briana says it’s all in how she parents, and she feels Tonya discredited her as a person. She says Tonya has commended her in the past, so she was caught off guard. Jasmine says she was irritated because Tonya is the mother of an average sized daughter. It made her wonder if Tonya thought she’s not a good parent, since she also has an average sized child. Terra says a little child can run over you too. Tonya says Briana and Matt seem to be doing well now, so she thinks it will be fine.

They talks about genetic testing and why it’s important. Terra says it gives you an idea of what to expect with medical problems. Preston says as long as they’re healthy, it doesn’t matter. Kerwin talks about not caring when Angelique was born. Terra says they all feel the same way – they don’t care, but it’s nice to be prepared. We say good-by to the guys.

We revisit Christy’s casino night and the survival retreat. Kevin questions Christy about adding the medical report to the invitation. Christy gives a convoluted explanation. Tonya and Elena talk about Christy’s friends attacking them. Kevin says funny they should mention that, and brings out Karla and Rhonnie. He asks why Christy brought them. Christy says she didn’t think anyone was going to show up, but Elena says they were definitely prepared for the group. Rhonnie says no one has Christy’s back. She points a finger at everyone and tells them what their problems are. Kevin asks how she can suddenly give them a personality evaluation, and I wonder if the two of them are bucking to be on the show. Tonya says they should have waited until Christy got jumped before coming to her defense. Good luck, Rhonnie, getting that glitter eye-shadow off.

Elena says Christy brought them to have someone to help her, and Christy admits that’s true. Jasmine says she read the text from Briana because they wanted her to, and then got flack for it. Jasmine doesn’t want to hear it and Kevin tells the two girls adios.

Nooo! It’s the athletic-wear logo discussion. We flash back to all that. Tonya says she understood some of the criticism, but feels Terra went overboard and hurt her feelings. Terra says she just didn’t see the lotus flower symbolizing Tonya. Kevin asks if it was payback for Tonya ignoring when Penny was born. Terra says she thinks of Tonya as more kick-ass than zen. There’s a mini (no pun intended) argument between Elena and Tonya about Elena’s clothing line. Tonya asks why Elena stopped working on it, and she says she got interested in something else. Tonya says her line will be out soon, and Kevin says maybe the logo will change by then because he’s an idiot.

Kevin asks what everyone thinks about Terra competing on Dancing with the Stars. Elena says she was concerned about Terra starting too soon after the c-section. She admires Terra’s strength, but doesn’t think she could do it. She talks about Terra missing out on the kids and Terra says she does feel like she’s missing out, but she wants to prove to herself and her children that she can do it. She says the first two weeks of rehearsal were hell, but she’s good now. Kevin asks Tonya how she feels, since she’d also wanted to do it, and Tonya says she’s proud of Terra. They discuss Terra’s placenta eating, and Elena says it reminds her of Silence of the Lambs. Ha-ha!

Christy thinks Terra gets opportunities that the others don’t because she’s an executive producer of the show. Yeah, it can’t be because she’s actually talented. Christy says Briana wanted to do DWTS too. Briana says Terra had better means of representation and complains about her ex-publicist. Elena says she doesn’t think it would have happened for Briana anyway. Ouch! Terra says she hopes there’s no jealousy, and Briana says she’s happy with how everything is.

Kevin asks Christy where she thinks they go from here. She says they can continue to fight or move on, and she wants to move on. She promises to stay out of Briana’s life and no comment on the support or lack thereof.

Tonya is taking one day at a time, and having her launch party soon. Elena is ready for a third baby. She wants to get it out of the way so she can have her body back. Jasmine tells us that she’s having either a boy or a girl. Everyone thinks it’s a girl except Terra. Jasmine says she’ll let them know next season, thereby telling us they’ve been renewed.

Kevin thanks everyone and congratulates them on season 6, airing next year, confirming that they’ve been renewed.

👻 Just a word on American Horror Story: Roanoke. I really enjoyed this season. I loved the shows within the shows. It definitely held my interest, and went by way too quickly. The casting was excellent – and I’m sure a lot of fun for Sarah Paulson and Kathy Bates, who both got to go to town. I’m already curious as to what the next installment has in store for us.

November 15, 2016 – Sonny Takes Back His Confession, Travis Backs Kelly Into a Corner & Kell*e*y Doesn’t Have the Captain’s Back

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason tells Sonny that he is not going to confess. Sonny says he already did. Jason tells him the broker canceled the hit and he’s not responsible.

Franco talks to himself, saying that Tom Baker is going to regret the day he was paroled. Elizabeth sees him and wonders why he’s still at the hospital when he’d told Brad he was sick. Franco goes cough-cough, and she says she has kids. She asks what’s really wrong.

Valentin wants to take Charlotte home, but Anna stands in front of him. Nina takes her to the costume box. Anna says he might be her biological father but he doesn’t have custody.

Carly looks at Morgan’s journal entry where he wrote that he’s taking his meds so she’ll be proud of him. Michael tells her that he and Nell took the food over to the homeless shelter. Nell says they probably want privacy. Carly says she didn’t expect Sonny to do what he did. Nell remembers the letter and gives it to her.

Dante tells Jordan he’s not recusing himself unless she takes him off the case. She’s not – yet. Diana comes in, and Dante tells her that it’s too late.

Jason tells Sonny that whoever planted the bomb wasn’t one of his people.

Franco says if he tells Elizabeth, it will ruin the surprise. He was planning on leaving early and getting take-out from her favorite restaurant and have an UNO marathon with the boys. Her beeper goes off and she has to go to ICU. Obrecht takes the paper out of Franco’s hand and asks what it means. She sees the address written on it, and asks what business he has there. She says he leaves her no choice but to show it to Elizabeth. Franco says he’s going there to save Elizabeth.

Nina puts a stethoscope in Charlotte’s ears to keep her from hearing the conversation. Anna tells Valentin that he might not necessarily receive custody, considering his background. Valentin says he’s been exonerated, and asks her to remember his daughter is in the room. Anna says until there’s a court determination, Charlotte will stay with Griff per Claudette’s wishes. Anna says too bad they can’t hear her side of the story, but she’s vanished. Would he know anything about that? He says no, and he just wants to bring Charlotte home. Anna suggests he let her handle it.

Carly tells Nell that she saw the note and had asked Sonny about it, but he’d said it didn’t matter. She asks what he told Nell, and Nell says that Sonny told her to give it to Carly after the funeral. Carly thinks it’s just a rehash of the confession and asks Nell if she knows what’s in it. We flash back to her reading it, but she tells Carly that she has no clue.

Diane asks why it’s too late, and Dante tells her about the confession. Jordan tells her that Sonny said he’s responsible for Morgan’s death. Diane says it might be her interpretation, but a jury might see it differently. Diane wants to talk to Sonny.

Jason tells Sonny what he heard from the broker. He says the bomb was probably set by another party; Julian has a lot of enemies. Sonny asks him to find out who, but doens’t want him involved if it’s messy. Jason says he is getting involved, it’s already messy, and he’s going to find out who did it.

Obrecht asks how Franco is saving Elizabeth. He says the man who raped her is on parole and staying with his brother. He says he wants to make sure Elizabeth is safe. He wants to size Tom up and figure out how to protect her. He says Elizabeth has no idea about it. Obrecht asks why he’s risking the job that he just got back, and that she won’t let him.. Franco says he likes her, but not to make him choose between her and Elizabeth because she’ll lose. Elizabeth comes up behind him and wonders what’s up. He says nothing’s wrong and Obrecht says there is.

Valentin suggests that Anna not question his daughter about him or fill her head with lies. Valentin tells Charlotte that her new friends are leaving and she has to go with them. She says she misses him. He says they’ll take good care of her, and tells her about the North Star and how you can see it from anywhere. Anna and Griff take Charlotte.

Nina says that can’t have been easy, and Valentin says it wasn’t, but he’s not surprised. Everyone thinks he’s dangerous and evil. Nina says maybe they’re right, but not to Charlotte. It’s obvious that she adores him.

Carly says it’s a request. He set up a foundaton in morgan’s name trusts for the kids and her. He was planing on confessing and his assets can’t be held if he’s criminially charged. He says money doesn’t fix everything but it’s all he has to give them.

Jason asks what Sonny is going to tell the cops. Jordan comes in and asks Jason what he’s doing there.

Obrecht tells Elizabeth that all the pitching in and working together is a sham, and the hospital is inefficient as ever. She stalks off, and Franco pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Valentin thanks Nina for keeping Charlotte busy. He says Anna is misguided, thinking she’s on the right side, and he feels sorry for Griff. Nina tells him not to be. She’s not a fan after what he did to Nathan.

Anna tells Griff that she just spoke to child services. They can keep Charlotte for now, but need written consent from the mother. Griff wonders how Anna knew this was coming, and she tells him, experience. He says it’s been one shock after another. Now Charlotte is being yanked away and it’s killing him. Anna tells him to put his emotions aside; they have to concentrate on the legal situation. Both parents are alive, so to keep Charlotte out of Valentin’s hands, Griff needs to be a better parent than the biological father. She asks if he’s up to the task of being a parent for the rest of his life.

Carly asks Michael, what about Avery? She’s going to end up with Ava, and Sonny will be rotting in a prison cell. She says that Sonny does what he wants to do, and she leaves for the hotel. Nell tells Michael he’s the only one holding the family together.

Diane tells Jordan that she asked Jason to meet her there. Jordan says she could have him arrested. Diane says go ahead and she’ll file a civil suit. Jordan tells Dante to get him out of there. Outside, Dante asks Jason if he’s trying to cover something up. Jason says no way. Diane tells Jordan she wants to speak to her client. Jordan says they already heard his confession. Sonny says he changed his mind, and he has nothing to say.

Elizabeth approaches Obrecht. She wants to know what’s going on with Franco. Obrecht tells her she’s a horrible person.

Franco goes to the house and looks around, peeping in the windows. He pounds on the door.

Nina tells Valentin about Nathan marrying Claudette, and how Griff’s vow of celibacy didn’t mean much to him. Valentin says he doesn’t criticize another man’s weaknesses – unless he’s going to family court. He asks if Nina would  be a character witness, and says he knows she’s on Charlotte’s side.

Griff says he needs to accept God’s plan for today and treat Charlotte as a daughter, even if biologically she’s not. Anna says Valentin’s crimes are admissible in family court, several people saw him shoot Doc, and he tried to kidnap Spencer. She says whatever sins Griff thinks he committed, Valentin’s are worse.

Jason goes to see Carly. She doesn’t want to talk about Sonny, and wishes she never had to hear his name again.

Jordan says for once Sonny did the right thing, and keeping silent now isn’t going to change anything .Dante tells Sonny that he heard him at the church and  he can’t take it back now. How could what Jason said have changed everything?

Elizabeth asks where this is coming from. Obrecht says she fired her once, and she’s not keen on her professionally. She says Elizabeth is a ruthless manipulator, and she won’t allow Franco to fall for her hot and cold machinations. Elizabeth doesn’t get it, and Obrecht says she has patients to attend to; she’s wasted enough time. Elizabeth finds the paper with the address on the floor. She uses Spyder-Finder to look it up.

Franco says okay, maybe they’re not there and walks away, but someone looks out from behind the curtain. Tom comes out on the porch, looks around and skulks out.

Nell asks Michael why it’s his job to fix everything. He says its what he does, and he’s good at it. She asks who fixes him? She repeats what he said about being Morgan’s constant, and says Morgan was his too, and he should allow himself to grieve. He says he can’t while his family is falling apart.

Sonny tells Dante sorry, he has nothing to say except to his lawyer. Dante asks how he can do this to Morgan and leaves. Diane tells Sonny that Jason texted her, and it seems everything went as Sonny planned. She says she and Max are taking flowers to the gravesite tomorrow, and tells Sonny that they loved Morgan. (That answers my question about the burial.) She wants to know everything that Sonny said.

Jordan tells Dante that maybe Sonny had an emotional outburst at the church, but nothing is going to help. He confessed in front of witnesses.

Carly tells Jason that Sonny isn’t innocent. Jason explains that he called the hit off, and the contractor never went after Julian. She says maybe the broker is lying. Jason said it had already been set up with a slip in the shower. Sonny’s man never planted the bomb.

Anna tells Griff that she’ll do everything in her power to keep Charlotte with him and away from Valentine. She says the important lesson is that you don’t have to be family to be family. He has a legion of supporters and Valentine has none.

Valentine tells Nina about a tip on manners he read in her magazine. He says that you should never keep a compliment to yourself when you can brighten someone’s day. He tells her that she’d be a great mother. He leaves and she smiles.

Elizabeth finds out that the address belongs to Tom Baker’s brother. She wonders what Franco is doing.

Tom goes back inside the house with a Coke and chips that he probably bought at the gas station. He sees that a fire has been lit in the fireplace. He turns around and Franco is there. He asks if Franco is a friend of his brother’s. Franco says no; he’s a friend of of Tom’s rape victim, Elizabeth Webber.

Nell compliments Michael on how great he is. He says she gives him too much credit, but she doesn’t think so. He says his mom needed him, and he only made it worse. Nell tells him to give himself a break, or let her. She takes his hand.

Carly wants to know everything and who’s responsible. Jason says Sonny wasn’t responsible, but he’s in custody and they’re going to charge him with murder. He’s alone and grieving, and she’s the only one who understands. They could use each other right now.

Sonny tells Diane that he told everyone that he was responsible for Morgan’s death and no one else. Diane says she could say he was speaking metaphorically, and taking responsibility as a parent, and didn’t mean that he planted the bomb. Jordan comes in and formally arrests Sonny, for an attempt on Julian’s life and the murder of Morgan.

Tomorrow, Carly visits Sonny, Alexis talks to Jax, and Franco beats the crap out of Tom.

If Loving You is Wrong

Kelly is concerned about Marcie, who isn’t responding on the phone. She calls Lushion. She asks about Joey, who is still doing the same. She says he’s the only person she knew to call. Kelly tells Lushion that she was on the phone with Marcie, and now she can only hear her breathing; she’s not talking. She says Marcie had been to visit Louise and was in the parking lot. Lushion tells Natalie he’ll be right back.

He talks to Kelly from the parking lot, asking what she hears. Still just breathing. He asks what kind of car and she answers like I would, a black something or other. Lushion sees something and says he’ll call her back. He finds Marcie unconscious. He calls for help, saying he needs a doctor.

Lushion tells Kelly that Marcie fainted, but she’s fine. She’s in with the doctor. Marcie says it’s like the night from hell and Lushion agrees. He tells her to hold it together, and she says she’s trying. She asks Lushion to have Marcie call her.

Ben calls Eddie and tells him Louise is awake, but she has an FBI detail. Eddie asks why they’d do that, but Ben doesn’t know. Ben says Lushion was there, and 45 minutes later, the FBI was there and Louise started singing like a bird. Eddie is pretty slow, but makes the connection between Lushion and the FBI. Ben tells Eddie he’s sick of him and Lushion. Eddie hangs up.

Eddie asks Steven what he knows about Lushion, and Stephen tells him to get lost. Eddie repeats what Ben told him, and says Lushion is a mole. Steven tells him he’s paranoid and to lay off the drugs. Eddie squawks about finding the captain.

Steven calls Lushion and says he thinks Eddie is on to something. He tells Lushion about their conversation and says to be more careful. Lushion says what are they supposed to do, just let Eddie kill her? He tells Steven they need to let Brad go.

Andrew calls for backup, and Eddie sticks his nose into it, telling the 911 operator that he’ll handle it.

Steven tells Brad he’s free to go. He tells Brad that Louise woke up and said Alex’s parents did this. He wonders why Brad doesn’t look surprised. I guess Steven hasn’t met them.

Natalie approaches the doctor. She apologizes, and he says he understands her grief. She says he knows he did his best. He says he’s seen a lot of strange things happen, and he’s not God. He gave his professional opinion, but Joey could still pull through. Natalie asks if she can see him. The doctor says she may not recognize him, but she doesn’t care. He asks the nurse to take Natalie in.

Natalie talks to Joey, whose face is pretty swollen, going anywhere and everywhere to get him to wake up. She tells him that they want her to donate his organs if he doesn’t make it. She says she knows he’s vain, and if he doesn’t want to lose his stuff, he’d better wake up. She says that she doesn’t want to bury any of her children, and he has to get up. Every minute he lays there is costing money they don’t have. She tells him she loves him and she’s sorry. Sorry for all the things she did wrong and for what she didn’t know how to do. She starts to cry. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t give him a better life, but she did what she knew how to do, and as bad as it may have been, it was her best. She pulls herself together, saying she doesn’t have time for tears and for him lying in the bed. She says he has to get up, come home, get a job, and help her take care of his siblings, because they need him. She needs him. She tells him that she and Lushion are getting married and she needs him there. She breaks down again, telling him that they bought a house and there’s a room for him. Things are starting to go right, and she’ll be damned if he’s leaving when she gets to the good part, because he deserves to share in it. She tells him to get up. She’s going to sit there until he does.

Alex waits in the car with Andrew. He says he’s waiting for word from Steven. He’s way out of his jurisdiction and they want him to bring Alex in, but because of what she said, he’s going further. She says she’s going to walk, but he says he’ll just catch up to her. She asks for his phone, and her mother. Her parents have cell phones? No answer after two rings, so she calls Esperanza.

Alex tells Esperanza that the baby is with her parents. Esperanza asks where she is. She says she’s with an officer because she wrecked her car. She tells Esperanza that she’s with Andrew, and Esperanza asks to talk to him. He tells her that he was told to come out there; Steven said it was okay and he’s sending local backup. Esperanza says he can’t go out there without it and asks to talk to Alex again. Esperanza tells Alex she has to stay there; backup is on the way. She asks where they are, and why Alex thinks it’s her parents. Alex says she saw them go into their house and heard screaming. Esperanza asks for her father’s and mother’s name. Esperanza logs in the information. She tells Alex to calm down and wait for the backup. Alex says she can’t. Esperanza tells her she can’t go there by herself. The reception starts to go bad. Esperanza says if Alex really wants to help her son, to wait there. She asks for the address and logs it in. She says she’ll call Alex back.

Esperanza tells Steven about her phone conversation with Alex and Andrew. She says they’re waiting for backup. He says he has a call into the local sheriff, but no one is picking up. She tells him the reception is bad and there’s no radio. She says there’s a baby out there that needs their attention.

Brad comes out and Esperanza asks if he’s okay. He says he’s had better nights. She tells him that Alex’s parents have Randall and the baby. Brad says Randall is a dead man, but doesn’t elaborate.

Esperanza calls Kelly. She tells Kelly it was Alex’s parents, but Kelly says Marcie told her already. Esperanza tells Kelly about Andrew finding Alex. She says to keep praying for the baby and Randall. Kelly tells Esperanza about Marcie fainting and Lushion finding her, and says she’s still waiting to hear back. They discuss what it might be, but I think Marcie is pregnant.

Kelly checks the refrigerator, but there’s nothing there. She leaves to go to her own house to get some food, and puts some stuff in a bag. She sees an open window in Justice’s room. I say, Kelly, get out of there! but she doesn’t listen. She closes the window and turns around. Even though I was expecting it, I gasp with her. It’s Travis. He wants to apologize. She says accepted, please leave. He says love makes you do crazy things. She continues to tell him to leave, but he wants to talk. He asks where she’s been and she says next door. She says there was an accident next door and the kids are at Esperanza’s. He says he’s sorry for breaking in, but he was in the back yard and heard the cops. She says she didn’t call them. He says his dad and the church would be disappointed and upset. (I thought he was a mama’s boy. Continuity, people!) She asks him to leave again, and he acts like he’s going to, but tells her he loves her. She says okay, and amends that to, I love you too, when he reacts badly. He asks for a hug, saying she’s all he’s got. She suggests they talk tomorrow. He asks for a hug again.

Kelly accepts the hug. He says she smells good, and she says she doesn’t know how, since it’s been a long night. He asks if she wants him to stay, but she says Alex needs her and makes something up about the baby. He says he can’t wait until they have one. He says he loves her again, and she says she loves him too. He asks if she’s still seeing “that boy,” and she tells him Ramses moved. He asks if she wants him to walk her over, but she says she’ll be okay.

Kelly asks where Travis’s car is and he laughs. He says he parked around the corner. She asks what’s going on with him. He says he just loves her, and he’ll kill “him” before he sees her with another man. She says she didn’t know he was like this. He says he’s been there before, but not like this; it’s her fault he’s acting this way. She tells him let’s not think about it. He asks when was the last time she saw Ramses, and she says yesterday. He asks if she’s going to see him again, and Kelly repeats that he’s gone back to Utah. She tells Travis good night, and can’t get into the house fast enough. He whistles as he leaves. I hate those whistling dudes.

At the hospital, Dr. Denton talks to Marcie, telling her she fainted in the parking lot, and asks questions to make sure she’s okay. Marcie says she has to go, but the doctor says she’s not going anywhere; she needs to get her blood pressure under control. She needs to let the medication kick in or she could have a stroke. Marcie asks for her phone, and the doctor has someone get her belongings. The doctor asks if she’s under stress and Marcie says she is. The doctor tells her she needs to eat if she wants a healthy baby. Called it! Marcie looks stunned.

Next time, Marcie comes home, Eddie shoots Andrew, and Rusty wants to kill Randall who begs for his life.

Below Deck

Ben shared the master suite with Kyle, and Kate kicks him out of bed so they can clean. She sees the broken panel and asks Lauren if she knows what happened. Emily tells Ben that her birthday is in two days, but don’t do anything for it. Yeah, that’s why you told him. So he can not do anything. Please. He tells her that he’s going out with his brother, James, tonight and she’s going to be the guest of honor.

Captain Lee knows something is wrong. Kate shows him the bathroom panel in the master. She says you can pop it back, but she doesn’t know how it happened. She says the deckhands and Ben were in there. It’s the control panel for a 10K toilet. The captain wants everyone in the crew area – now. Someone is going to walk the plank.

He asks if everyone is happy, because he’s not. He says he’s finding the behavior of the collective group deplorable. The boat isn’t their personal party palace, and it stops now. He says everybody was told they’re on their last round of warnings about respect for the boat, and they’re confined to the crew area. He wants to see Kelley and Kate. He tells them everyone better be in bed by ten. In her interview, Kate says she’s never seen him so angry, and she’s not sure if she’s in trouble with them. He calls out Kelley for not doing his job. He says if Kelley doesn’t want to operate short-handed, he’d better get with it.

In the mess, Ben says the panel just popped off the wall. Yep, just like that. Nico thinks Kate framed them. Kelley tells everyone they’d best be in bed by ten. Nico thinks Kelley has gone from trying to be a friend to being too hard and should find a middle ground.

Kate asks Ben about James, and says they won’t be able to have dinner now. Ben says the captain didn’t say not to leave the boat. He asks if Kate ratted them out, and she says no and thanks a lot. The captain tells them confined to quearters means confined to the boat. Ben says his brother is there and the captain says sorry, he can’t be selective. Ben asks if James can come there. The captain says if Ben wants to say his good-byes, he doesn’t have an issue with that.

Nico tells Kelly he needs to change the way he talks to him. Kelley says to give him a break; when they screw up, he has to deal with it. He says he’s Nico’s boss. Nico tries to argue with him. Kelly tells him he’s in bed by ten; deal with it.

The captain goes over the profile for the next primary guest. Perfectionist Dean is back. He’s the one Kate made the rocket ship for. Captain Lee tells Ben that as usual, Dean is punctual with everything. Kate says she’s relieved; no surprises, just be perfect. They want fireworks and Kate puts in an order.

Nico complains to Lauren about Kelley, saying he’s a bad leader. Kate talks to Kyle and Nico, telling them she wasn’t the one who told on them. Nico thinks she’s the root of all evil on the boat. Ben texts James to meet him at nine.

James arrives, and he and Ben have a whiskey. James calls Emily a proper English girl and a munchkin. They have caviar. The captain comes down. He doesn’t want a two/three hour good-by. He says Ben always takes things to the limit. He calls Ben aside and tells him he wants him in bed and James off the boat. In his interview, Ben feels like he’s being treated unfairly. The brothers say good-by, and Ben and Emily share a kiss.

Kate tells the stews that Dean is polite, but likes things perfect. The captain takes the broken toilet for a test drive and all is well. The guests arrive. Captain Lee welcomes Dean back. Kate does the tour. The Valor shoves off.

Ben spills egg yoke on the floor. He’s nervous because every meal has to be perfect. In her interview, Kate says Dean is the one person who holds Ben accountable. More incredible water that is so blue I can’t stand it.

Ben says life without butter would be harsh and I agree. As usual all the food looks fabulous. The captain tells Kelley to break out the toys. Kate starts arranging a Chinese New Year party. Dean talks to Ben, telling him he wasn’t thrilled to see him, but lunch was amazing. He apologizes, and then tells Ben that he has a lot to live up to now. When he leaves, Emily says she’s glad the guests are only guys, so there’s no lipstick to wash off the glasses. Ben says it’s the little things.

Kate tries to take a break, but gets called back to work. Kelley is taking the Intrepid (the small boat) to to pick up the fireworks, and Ben asks him to pick up flowers he ordered for Emily while he’s there. Kate is disappointed because she told Emily to stay on service and she disappeared. Ben argues with her. The captain sees the flowers and says they don’t look like fireworks. Kelley says he’ll explain when he gets there. Then when he gets there, he proceeds to bang the Intrepid right into the hull of the yacht. Captain Lee is not pleased.

Kate likes that Dean pushes her creative boundaries. They’re getting ready for the Chinese New Year party, and she’s making origami napkins. The captain calls Kelley to the wheelhouse and asks who died. Kelley explains that the flowers are from Ben for Emily’s birthday. The captain says he thinks he’s going to make some alterations, and he wants to think. He’s not pleased with how things re going at this point.

Emily tells Lauren that she thinks Kate is on her because of Ben. Emily asks Kate if she’s okay with them being together. Kate says that had nothing to do with it. She was frustrated that the captain had to call on the radio for service and she never got her break.

It’s the year of the dog. Love the table decor which includes a foo dog and beautiful lantern-y stuff. The guests are loving the food, and I’d give anything to be sitting there. The entree is shrimp and duck noodle soup, and even though I don’t like duck, I’d love to try this. One guy says it’s everything, but another says it’s difficult to eat. I gotta say, the pieces do look big. Dean doesn’t think it has enough flavor. Kate, who’s wearing the cutest hair ornament ever, says she’ll get some duck sauce. She tells Ben what Dean said. Ben says he’s never had guests not like a dish before, and up and apologizes. He says he’ll make whatever they like.

Ben asks if he should remove it, and Dean says yes. In his interview, Ben says out of the skabillion dishes he’s made, this is the first time a guests has returned one. He admits Dean was right, because he threw the thawed out shrimp in without draining them. Ben calls himself an idiot. Nico tells him to quit being so hard on himself and Kate says just focus on the next thing.

Kelley talks to Kyle and tells him about what the captain said.

Ice cream for dessert. Dean’s has a sparkler and Kate says it might seem like he’s the only one, but that’s not the case, and the fireworks start. Kate tells Ben that the guests thought dinner as a whole was amazing. Ben says it was harrowing.

Lauren tells Nico that Kelley is worried he’s going from two stripes to one. Ben breaks out Emily’s flowers. They are fabulous; even the vase is fabulous. Kate thinks his mess up with the soup was because Ben was super distracted and couldn’t stay professional. Ben wants Kate’s attention, but she says she’s not getting involved in his dating life anymore.

Sierra has decorated with balloons and I think toilet paper in place of crepe paper, which I’m shocked that they don’t have. Emily is surprised and has no idea what to do with the flowers.

The captain calls Kelley to the wheelhouse. In his interview, he says that everyone messes up, and it’s not the mess up, but how you recover. Captain Lee says it wasn’t a good day. Kelley says it was fine until the Intrepid crashed into the Valor. The captain says it was lame. He wants to give Kelley on more shot though. Kelley thanks whoever made the captain’s coffee this morning. He’d expected to get his ass handed to him, but he’s taking the guests somewhere for snorkeling. Emily thanks Ben for the flowers. Emily tells Ben what Kate said, and Ben says all they can do is the best job they can for today. Thanks, Oprah.

Kelley and Nico take the guests to the island where the snorkeling is. They have to take a trolley/taxi for an hour to get there. Dean isn’t cool with coming back that was, so Kelley is going to come around and pick them up in the Intrepid.

Kyle calls his girlfriend. She says she hates her life right now. She’s going through hormone treatment and very emo.

The snorkeling place is the coolest. Nico says the captain seems okay now, and asks Kelley if they’re good. All is well in deckhand world. Kelley leaves to take the stuff back. He says it’s going amazingly well, which scares him. Uh-oh. Kelley has Nico’s radio and Nico has the keys to the boat. Kelley calls the captain and says they have a mishap. Dean floats along in the tide pool, thinking he’s going to get picked up shortly.

Kelley explains to the captain that Nico has the keys to the Intrepid, and Captain Lee is less than thrilled about the screw up. He suggests he pick up Nico. In his interview, the captain is irritated that he has to bail Kelley’s ass out and he wouldn’t be doing it except for the guests. Kelley knows this is going to be bad. Kate wonders why Kelley didn’t just go get the keys, but the captain says it’s quicker this way. He’s disappointed, pissed off, all of the above.

Next time, Kyle’s girlfriend visits, the captain isn’t happy, and Emily feels caught in the middle.

November 14, 2016 – Sonny Unloads His Gun, Jax Spreads a Rumor & Kelly is the OC Reunion’s Target

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Oh no. The president is expected to speak in 15 minutes. Should I even bother? You know this will probably be a long one.

At the funeral, Sonny tells everyone that his son is gone and most of them blame him, but they can’t blame him more than he blames himself. Sonny says Morgan’s life wasn’t easy, and Morgan deserves to be at peace, but that can’t happen because of what he did. He knows how to make it happen though. He takes out his gun.

Nina is talking on the phone with Nathan. She says she has everything under control.

Valentin approaches Laura on her way into Windemere. He says he doesn’t have any keys and can’t find the caretaker.

Scotty joins Ava for a secret meeting. He’s annoyed that she picked a place that doesn’t serve alcohol. She says she’d expected him to carry a flask. He asks why she’s wearing black, and she says she’s thinking of going to Morgan’s funeral. Well, she’d best hurry up, since it’s pretty much over. Scotty says he knows she switched Morgan’s medication, but Sonny and Carly don’t. She says it’s only a matter of time before they do.

Sonny puts the gun down. He says violence smothered his son’s life. Morgan had a future in front of him, but he won’t have the chance to do what he wanted because of Sonny. Sonny wants to make it clear that no one except him is responsible and looks pointedly at Carly. Jordan interrupts, asking if he’s confessing. He says he has to get this out first. Jason approaches him and says this is a bad idea.

Sonny goes to Carly. He talks about her asking him to change and to stop the cycle of violence. He apologizes for breaking his promise and says now their beautiful boy lost his life. He tells Michael that what he said was right – Morgan always fogave. He tells Michael not to beat himself up. He’s the one who should have protected Morgan. He says he’d do anything to trade places with Morgan., so he could be sitting next to his mom in church. He says the only thing he can do is to take responsibility for his actions. He’ll be sorry the rest of his life, and do everything to atone for it.

He takes the bullets out of the gun. He holds out his hands and tells Dante to do what needs to be done.

Laura tells Valentin she’ll be gone before the day is out. He says he extended an olive branch, and she says he knows what he can do with it. Ha-ha! Feisty Laura. He tells her if she changes her mind she’s welcome to stay.

Nina says she loves her brother but he’s a worrier. We see she’s talking to Charlotte, who’s sitting on the floor in Nina’s office. Nina tells Charlot while Nathan is making plans, they’ll play. Charlotte wants to play paper dolls, and Nina says she can definitely make that happen.

Ava tells Scotty about what Lucy said. She’s concerned that if she makes a wrong move, Lucy will go running to Sonny. She says if Lucy brings the pills to Sonny and Carly, they’ll know she switched them. Scotty says he’d lay low. Ava says there’s no statute of limitations with Sonny, and if he finds out, she’s dead. She tells Scotty he knows what needs to be done. He says she needs a dye job and the first freighter to Cuba. She tells him that they have to get the pills.

Jordan says she’s not going to arrest Sonny here, but wants him to come in for questioning. Sonny, Jordan and Dante leave. Michael asks Carly if she’s okay. She says she’s fine and Sonny made his choice. What’s done is done.

Valentin says he can’t wait for Charlotte to move in with him. To get any new audience members and viewers with short term memory loss up to speed, Laura responds, “the house you stole from my son whom you killed.” Doc is at the door, and Valentin says welcome to my home. Doc wants to know how it’s his home. He says he’ll let Laura explain. It belongs to the Cassadines, but she’ll always have a place there.

Carly talks to Nell about the reception and tells her to cancel the room. She says she wanted justice for Morgan, but she’s not sure this is what she had in mind. Speaking of the funeral, was no one going to the cemetery? Or were they just going to keep the casket in the house? There was never any mention of burying it and several people left early.

Dante tells Sonny that he needs an attorney, but Sonny just wants it over with. Sonny goes into the interrogation room, and Jordan takes Dante aside.

Jason hands a cop some money and goes into the interrogation room by the other door. He tells Sonny that he’s making a mistake.

Well, ABC is going to cover the president. I may as well go back to looking at pics of that underwater restaurant in the Maldives that I will never be able to afford to go to.

Doc asks Laura how Valentin made a claim to the estate. Laura says it’s a long, sad, misogynistic story. She asks if he wants to help her pack. He says, let’s just get out of here. He tells her they can brainstorm on what she’s going to do next. She says she’s moving in with Dante and Lulu. Doc tells her that she’s welcome to stay with him.

Nina and Charlotte are getting along great. Charlotte makes a purple paper doll and Nina says purple is her favorite color. Valentin shows up with purple tulips. What a coincidence. He says he gets to sit with not just one, but two beautiful ladies.

Ava says Scotty knows Lucy’s sweet spots, and can distract her and get the pills. He asks what’s in it for him.

Kiki tells Dillon that she needs time to herself to sit with her feels and memories, and say good by to Morgan in her own way. She tells him she’ll see him later. She leaves. Nell does damage control on the phone. Bobbie asks Michael what he thinks of Nell. He thinks she’s great and she’s been supportive of Carly. Bobbie is like, hmmph!

Carly tells Jax she can’t believe Sonny confessed. Jax says Sonny doesn’t like violence, but has no problem using it, and doesn’t consider collateral damage. He says Sonny is smart, but he doesn’t think Sonny got it until today. Carly says what about Morgan’s brothers and sisters, and what about Avery? Ava will get full custody. Jax says it will hurt some people, but Sonny did the right thing. Today he took the first step in protecting his family

Jordan gives Dante the option to sit this out. Jason tells Sonny that Diane is on the way. Sonny says he’s making a full confession and will gladly go to prison. Jason says under no circumstances is he to confess to anything.

Yep, here it comes. The State of the Union. Sigh….

At least it’s only Monday.

Vanderpump Rules

The gang gathers in Lisa’s office. It’s World Dog Day and Lisa brings along Nappy, a little one-eyed terrier. Jax asks if there’s going to be alcohol. Lisa discovers that Kristen has gotten an invite. Brittany is ready to punch Jax for spreading rumors about her and Kristen. She tells Scheana that she doesn’t even want to be around him right now. Scheana thought that maybe since he’d been with Brittany, he was being more respectful, but she takes that back now. Scheana invites Brittany to stay at her apartment. Where’s Shay these days anyway?

Tom and Schwartz go for some much needed relaxing time at the spa. Yes, I’m being sarcastic. Do these people even work?

Katie visits Stassi. Stassi says it’s her first apartment where she isn’t living with someone or her father is paying for it. They talk about World Dog Day, which is going to be at the local dog park. Stassi says she tried working for Lisa once and it lasted four hours. We flash back, and she says it’s number four on the list of things she’s scared of. Katie is hoping that it doesn’t turn into the Hunger Games of bridesmaids when she has to choose.

Tom and Schwartz talk about the wedding plans. As Schwartz is talking about cutting corners. He doesn’t want a cake. I hope Katie plans a cake anyway. Seriously. WTF? Tom asks if he’s sure he wants to do this and thinks maybe Schwartz and Katie should get some pre-wedding therapy.

James takes Scheana aside at SUR. He says obviously the night didn’t go well, referring to the OK! Magazine party. He claims Scheana came at him, but she says he approached them and started insulting them about not working on their summer bodies. He apologizes and she suggests he apologize to Katie as well. Although she accepts his apology, in her interview, Scheana says she doesn’t buy it, and sure enough, in his interview, James says it’s bullsh*t.

Lala is having lunch with her mom, Lisa. Not that Lisa. She says she wishes she didn’t have to lean on her mom so much, and Lisa tells her that’s what moms are for. Lala says she thinks she’s turning into a vicious person and Lisa says that’s not her. Yes. It is. Lala says she doesn’t feel good about it after she’s mean, and her mom says it probably brings her back to being bullied herself. Lala says she knows there’s a family history of drinking problems (and problems with naming their children ridiculous things like Lala). She says she keeps it to a two drink minimum. Really? They must be pretty strong drinks. Or twenty ounce drinks. Lala rags on her co-workers, and Lisa says she has a tender heart, but a tough exterior, which makes perfect sense. Not.

Carter and Kristen are having dinner at their apartment. Kristen wants to invite some people over after the World Dog thing. Kristen is annoyed about the rumor that Jax is spreading. She says she and Brittany had a few wasted kisses, but she really doesn’t remember anything. 100% though, she didn’t do that.

The rumor about Kristen and Brittany is flying around everywhere. Even the cooks at SUR are discussing it. It’s like that part in Bye, Bye Birdie when everyone gets on the phone to talk about Hugo and Kim going steady. Scheana tells Lisa that it’s not right that Brittany is only there a couple of weeks and now everyone is giving her the side-eye. Lisa agrees that it’s really not fair. Brittany approaches Jax. She’s angry that he started this, and he tells her to get over it. She says it’s upsetting and he says he didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. In the interview, she says she knows he likes to make up things, but to do it to her is the worst. Jax says she’s making it more than it is, and she tells him she’s done, but I’m not sure with what.

Lisa asks Brittany if she’s okay. She says she knows what happened, and Brittany says she feels like he’s tarnishing her name. She tells Lisa what he said isn’t what happened. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t regret hiring Brittany, but she sometimes regrets not firing Jax. Brittany starts to cry, and Lisa tells her to stay strong. Chin up and all that.

In the morning, Scheana asks Brittany if she’s going to kick Jax’s ass. Hey, there’s Shay! Brittany goes home and loves on the dog. Jax is still in bed and tells her he’s sleeping. He says she’s the one who’s keeping the story going, and she says it’s about her. She tells him that he exaggerated hugely, and she doesn’t understand why he’d talk about her this way. He gets loud and says everyone is wrong. She asks why he said it, and he says because it happened. She says it didn’t happen, and if he’s sorry, he needs to act like it. Ditch that guy already, Brittany. You have a job. Two jobs. You don’t need him as a third.

Katie explains how she’s going to do a bridesmaids reveal to Schwartz. She tells him about how much the photographer costs, and he thinks maybe she should keep him in the dark. In her interview, she says she usually likes that he’s a cheapskate, but not this time. Their venue is called the 20 Miles House. She says it’s going to be everything and more. I tend to agree. It’s a huge old house out in the middle of a beautiful nowhere. The whole thing will be about 18K and they require a 5K deposit. August 17 is the date – it’s a Wednesday and cheaper. When that deed is done, Schwartz tells her that they should probably get a prenup. He says it’s like health insurance, you hope you won’t need it, but it’s a precautionary measure. Katie says unless he’s sitting on a trust fund she doesn’t know about, all he has are massive amounts of sweat pants and action figures. She agrees and he gets turned on by her sensibility.

James meditates on the balcony of his apartment. There’s a knock at the door and he skates over. It’s Lala. He shows her around his new place. He has a roommate, who’s renting him some space in his penthouse. He’s released both Pump Sessions and the single he did with Lala, and also released a video. He says if he stays focused, his dreams can take off. Lala tells him to stay on track and not let people throw him off.

World Dog Day is here! Katie has donation buckets and raffle tickets for the group to take around. Brittany says it’s going to be hard to get through the day with Jax. She feels like whenever she talks to someone, they’re thinking about what he told everyone. Lisa arrives and marvels at all the fabulous dogs. One of the managers tells Lisa about James being stupid at PUMP, and how some guy put him in a headlock. James is telling Tom his version of what happened, and says people attack him because they’re jealous. Okay. In her interview, Lisa says if James is at fault, she’s going to let him go. In his interview, James says he’s young and good-looking and people are jealous of him. I believe it if you believe it. He’s half right anyway. I’m not into crossed eyes and a scrawny frame.

James tries to apologize to Katie. She says he acts like an a-hole, apologizes, and then laughs about the person falling for it. He says they have their differences, but he’s trying to say sorry. She says she’s never done anything to him, and he’s a horrible person, adding that he should just mind his own business from now on and she’ll mind hers. He is truly a nasty piece of work. And Katie is far from fat.

The donations pour in. The dogs do an obstacle course. Kyle Richards comes by. Kristen brings Carter. Stassi wonders if there’s alcohol. Lisa says she loves dogs and everyone knows how she feels about bitches, referring to Stassi and Kristen. Lisa confronts James about the incident at PUMP, and James tries to defend himself, acting like everyone is just out to get him and he’s not really an idiot. Doggy yoga starts at two.

Stassi goes over to talk to Lisa, saying she’s going to disarm her with her pups. She has two tiny dogs that are very cute, and one is wearing a tiny hat. Kristen is with her, and Lisa alludes to the rumor, enjoying that she’s making Kristen uncomfortable.

Jax talks to Schwartz about the wedding. Schwartz says he’s excited, and Jax thinks he’s just saying that. Jax talks about the week long argument he’s been having with Britney. She thinks it’s more than just a silly rumor and because he’s betrayed her trust so much, it’s turned into something else.

Lisa makes a speech. She talks about the Yulan Dog Festival, and tells everyone to say no to the dog meat trade and celebrate their furry friends. She feels the event has been a success. Everyone who was invited has shown up and then some.

Kristen says Brittany is the best thing that’s ever happened to Jax, and he’s ruining it. She tells Jax that he has an awesome girlfriend and he’s messing it up. He acts like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She says a drunk kiss isn’t having sex. He says it’s his relationship and his problem. Kristen says he’s pulling a Jax, and to just stop screwing people over that care about him. In his interview, Jax says Kristen wins, but they’ll always know what really happened. Kristen tells him not to hurt Brittany.

Next time, Katie picks her bridesmaids, Schwarz has a dinner and embarrasses Tom, and James gets fired…maybe.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion Part Two

We’re so bored with this stuff, they show us some behind-the-scenes scenes. Andy shows clips of the moments when the OC ladies got down and dirty in more ways than one. We flash back to some of the funny stuff, like milking the cows and explaining wet dreams to their children. A viewer asks if Vicki got her nipples fixed yet, but she isn’t saying.

Andy talks about new beginnings for Shannon. We flash back to the vow renewal and the move. This is counteracted by scenes from the party where David’s mother talked trash about Shannon. A viewer asks if the vow renewal changed things for her. Shannon says David’s emotion was heart warming. Shannon disagrees with any comparison to Vicki and Don. Vicki says Don thought their vow renewal was good for TV, while she thought differently. Shannon starts getting loud, and Vicki says in retrospect, she wouldn’t have put it on the show.

Andy asks if Shannon and David made a sex tape on their second honeymoon, and I tell him thanks a lot for that visual. He then goes around the room with the question. He asks Shannon if she thinks what her MIL did at the party was premeditated. She says yes, and hasn’t spoken to her since. Andy pretends that Grandma Donna is coming out, but everyone is used to his fake-outs now.

A viewer says that it was classic Tamra sh*t stirring for her to tell Shannon what Donna was saying. Tamra says she didn’t know Shannon was going to react that way. Heather speaks for her, saying Tamra wouldn’t have done it if she’d known how Shannon was going to react. Andy questions Vicki about how she said she felt sorry for David, and Vicki says you never forget about an affair, and always question what you lacked because it happened. Tamra says she would never be able to get over it. Well, look out, because Eddie is pretty good-looking and you can be a real shrew.

Shannon says she’s not the reason David had an affair, he is. She says they weren’t happy at the time, but there were other things going on in his life. Andy asks about the other woman and Shannon says she renewed her football tickets in front of them (they sit ten rows apart), but other than the one altercation in the beginning, there’s been no contact. Andy asks how things re going now, and Shannon says great; their marriage is solid.

Andy brings up how often Shannon says “are you kidding me?” Each woman’s over-used phrase or word is presented: for Heather, it’s by the way; Kelly, of course; Tamra, God/Jesus; Vicki, whoop it up; and Meghan, sperm. We see clips of them all saying these things a thousand times.

We move on to Heather calling Terry out on being an absentee father. We see clips of their vacation, Terry working too much, Heather discussing it with him, and ending with Terry saying he’s going to be a better dad. A viewer asks how much the new house cost. Heather says numbers aren’t relevant. When she won’t tell them, Andy asks Kelly, who says twenty million plus. A viewer asks if Heather’s life is so perfect that she really doesn’t have problems. She says right now it’s good, but it’s ridiculous to think there are never any problems.

Briana joins us straight from the night shift at the hospital. She and Vicki talk about how great their relationship is now that Brooks is gone. Briana says it’s good to be back in the OC. We flash back to Vicki getting her the hell out of Oklahoma, followed by clips of Vicki leading the single life for two minutes, and then meeting Steve. They’ve been dating for seven months now. She says her love tank is over-filled, and Briana thinks he’s amazing. He’s never seen the show, and Vicki says one of the qualities she wanted in a man was that he didn’t know her from TV. For whatever reason, when Steve sent Vicki flowers, Heather thought Vikci had sent the flowers to herself, writing about it in her blog. Vicki tells Heather that she took some of the pleasure out of it and Heather rolls her eyes, because when she does something nasty, it’s okay. Andy asks Tamra what she thinks of him, like this matters. A viewer asks why Vicki needs a man to be happy. She claims she doesn’t and is cool being alone, but Briana is like, no, and the rest of us agree.

We move on to Briana’s medical issues. She says while she was getting tests, she found out she had Lupus. A viewer asks if Vicki bribed Briana with the house. Briana jokes that it was a good bribe, but no. She says that just because her mother helps her, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t work hard, and people don’t realize that. Shannon gets called on the carpet for saying that Vicki bribed her, and she apologizes, because it’s sincere when it comes from her.

Since we can’t get away from it, they talk about Brooks some more. Apparently, there’s been some problems regarding integrity and the cancer charity Vicki was involved with, and the website has been taken down. Everyone puts in their two cents, and it actually doesn’t sound like Vicki did anything wrong, and there was some kind of opt-in if you wanted emails about insurance. They were also giving out some kind of bracelets and I laugh when Heather demands to know if people can get a bracelet without putting in their information. No, Heather, they just guess at what address they should send the bracelet. When Vicki points this out, more nicely than I just did, Heather isn’t sure how to react because she’s so obviously acting like a moron.

Before an argument can start, Andy thanks Briana for coming. Tamra follows her out. Tamra tries to talk to Briana about Kelly, saying Vicki traded Brooks for Kelly. Briana says Vicki needs someone in her corner. For the love of Jesus that you claim to follow, Tamra, leave this sick woman who just got off a double-shift alone. On stage, Kelly and Vicki sweat not to abandon one another.

We see some of Kelly’s malapropisms. We move on to her shock and offense tour, and see clips of her being incredibly nasty. We see the mess in Ireland with Tamra, and I wonder what I’d do if someone insulted how I mother my dogs. Probably not what Tamra did. Heather says that Kelly’s M.O. is behave badly, apologize, and say I’m not really like that. Kelly says there’s no shame in her game. Really. She says that. She needs to read more. She says at the time, she felt sorry, but not anymore. A viewer asks if Kelly has a drinking problem because all of the altercations involve alcohol. Kelly claims she doesn’t have a drinking problem. She says she went to court mandated AA classes after she hit her ex-husband to stop him from fighting. I literally LOL.

Kelly brings up Heather saying she’s not filming unless they get rid of Kelly. We flash back to the sushi dinner. Heather says she was horrified, but Kelly tells her that she’s not the boss. Kelly thinks they should call her “bossy pants” instead of “fancy pants.” Heather says the last time she’d seen her BIL alive was at that restaurant, so she had bad memories of it to begin with. She doesn’t elaborate on this, so I wonder, did they have an argument? Did he choke on a fish bone? What happened?  She says the place literally has paper thin walls, and it was her visceral reaction. We see a clip of her saying that she doesn’t care if they fire her, she’s taking off her mic and she’s done. Kelly points out the others who throw around the f-bomb. She does have a point. It’s funny though, how we all react badly to that one word.

Andy asks Kelly if she stands behind her behavior. She says they were in a private room and doesn’t seem to grasp how thin the walls were. Andy asks why she apologized at the time. She says how she was treated later changed her viewpoint about them. Kelly is asked if her daughter sees the show, but she says no. Andy asks Meghan what she thinks. She’s been pretty quiet for the most part, probably contemplating childbirth. She says that Kelly gets defensive, and when she gets defensive she plays dirty. Kelly says she didn’t know there were rules, which makes me laugh, but the rules are called common courtesy and she does get nasty when she drinks. Heather talks over Meghan and Kelly, telling Kelly about her pattern again. Kelly tells Heather that her pattern is interrupting her and interloping.

The Ireland insult to Tamra is brought up. Heather says that when she criticized Kelly’s parenting on the bus, Kelly got upset. Kelly says Heather didn’t apologize. Heather says she is now. Heather says the difference between them is she learns from her mistakes, and it won’t happen again. Kelly says she apologizes for saying what she did about Tamra’s daughter. A viewer brings up how many times Tamra has said similar things to other cast members and we see flashbacks. Tamra says none of those things were okay for her to have said, and she was hurt by Kelly’s remark. They go over Tamra pushing Kelly in the store since we didn’t see it. Everyone talks at once and Andy tells them to stop it.

A viewer says Kelly has an anger issue, but doesn’t Tamra have one too? Tamra says she’s a bad drunk. Kelly says apologies are flying. Vicki thinks everyone should just move on. Kelly says if she hadn’t had anger management lready, she would have thumped Tamra. I might pay to see that. She says she didn’t and restrained herself.

Andy asks if Vicki is the Buddha of the OC. Shannon says not in her part of town. Andy asks about Kelly being mean and far shaming on social media. Shannon brings up a picture Kelly posted along with the words “keep eating.”

Next time – The Reunion, Part Three – Tamra and Vicki tangle, Tamra calls Vicki and “old woman” (don’t worry, Tamra, you’ll get there), Vicki claims to have proof that David beat Shannon, Shannon walks off stage, and Heather tells Vicki that she should beg Shannon for forgiveness which doesn’t go over too well.

💋 A note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Mama Joyce and I have the same ombre sweater. In different colors, but it’s the same. I don’t know how to feel about this.

November 13, 2016 – The World Behind the Mirror is Revealed, the NJ Reunion Drags On & Negan Shakes Down Alexandria

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Snow talks to David while he sleeps. She says maybe this is their normal now. Regina blames herself. She says she’s the only one who can hurt the queen, but Emma doesn’t want her to engage. Emma says her own sentence is already death, and Henry needs one of them to be there.

Snow is about to kiss David, and makes a face like she smells something weird. She looks at the mirror and then throws something at it. The Evil Queen is watching them.

A split screen shows us how Snow and David are living now. They leave notes for each other and videos on the phone. He leaves her flowers all the time. I’m thinking this is a great way to avoid any marital conflict, and wondering how I can arrange this for myself.

Emma visits Regina and asks if she has anything. She says she got an idea when Snow broke the mirror. They might not be able to hurt the queen, but they can imprison her in the world behind the mirror. Henry volunteers to be bait.

Henry meets the Evil Queen on the beach. She tells him that she knows he’s upset about his parents, but someday he’ll understand that you have to make hard choices. She talks about when they used to come there and feed the seagulls. She says he was afraid of them, and he tells her that he’s not afraid of anything now, especially her. He disappears, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. Regina and Emma show up with a mirror, but the Evil Queen tells them that it’s the wrong one because she switched them. She flips the tables (or mirror, as it were) on them, and they end up in the world behind the mirror. The Evil Queen says she hopes they enjoy where they’re going, because it’s where they’re spending the rest of their lives.

Emma wakes up and sees Storybrooke in a mirror. She’s in a room with mirrors everywhere, and calls out for Regina. The camera pans out and it’s a stone room within a forest of mirrors. Emma sees Granny in one of them, and tries to get her attention. Regina appears and tells her they’re all one-way mirrors. They have no way to communicate. She says it was the perfect prison for the Evil Queen since she has no friends anyway. Emma says people might not be able to break out, but maybe someone can break in. They think Henry is their answer.

The Evil Queen as Regina tells Henry that it worked and she’s finally free. Hook asks about Emma, and the queen tells him that Emma is driving to NYC to find the Dragon. She directs Hook to a fake voicemail. Snow says they finally got rid of the monster, but the queen says maybe not so much of a monster. She says they have someone else to worry about – Henry has to get ready for a dance. She says she’ll make sure everything works out for him.

Belle tells Zelena that Gold has closed his shop. She says he’s after her baby and she needs Zelena to help stop him; they’re both mothers and know what it’s like to care about someone who lets them down. Belle says she’s seen Zelena make portals before. Zelena says Gold has the wand she needs under lock and key, but Belle says she knows who can get it.

They meet with Jasmine and Aladdin, who claims to be the best thief anywhere. Jasmine doesn’t want him to get involved, but Zelena says it’s their fault that Gold is in possession of the shears in the first place. Belle says if Aladdin is any kind of a hero, he’ll help her escape the beast.

The Evil Queen visits Gold. She tries to come on to him, but he’s like, not today, he’s working. She says she needs the Hammer of Festus, which makes me think of Festivus for the rest of us. He says the hammer’s magic is only useful to someone who doesn’t have any. She says she wants it for Henry. Gold says villains don’t get happy endings, but the queen says she’s looking for a beginning. He asks what she has to offer him in return. She says now they’re on the same team, aren’t they? He tells her to remember her mother’s lesson – love is weakness. She says it can be, but it can also be a weapon, and she’s going to use it on her son.

Hook keeps leaving messages for Emma. He says he knows phones work in NYC and something doesn’t feel right. He sees the glass from the mirror on the beach. The Evil Queen appears and he asks what she’s done with Emma and Regina, but she says she’s not answering his question and blows him back with some magic.

Emma and Regina are getting nowhere, and Regina says they have to zero in on something. Emma suggests Granny’s, where Henry is meeting Violet before the dance. They see Henry adjust his tie, and they bang on the mirror. The Evil Queen as Regina calls to him. Emma says he has no idea they’re even gone. Henry tells the queen that he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Violet. The queen says Violet is a nice girl, but still a commoner and she’s lucky to have him. She says they might go back to her castle one day, and he’ll be king. Henry says he thinks he should finish high school first, but she says it’s not always about actually sitting on a throne, it’s about how you carry yourself. She tells him girls notice these things and to go off and be kingly. He leaves and the Evil Queen looks into the mirror and smiles.

Henry meets Violet. She asks if the homecoming dance is like a ball. He tells her something more important is happening, and to keep looking at him. He says that the woman behind him isn’t Regina, it’s the Evil Queen. He tells Violet to think of a reason to leave. She says she isn’t crazy about her dress, and wants to show him another one in the shop window. He tells her she’s a great liar. She says thanks, and they leave.

Emma and Regina are upset about Henry. Suddenly, Emma thinks someone else is with them. Regina says she doesn’t think so, but the Dragon comes out. He was imprisoned by the Evil Queen. He says everything is off balance, the dark and the light, a lesson sometimes learned at great cost. Emma says they’re worried abbot their son, and he says he once lost a daughter and paid the price.

Aladdin sneaks around Gold’s shop. Gold is doing some spinning (on a spinning wheel, not a bike). He hears something, but it’s just a windup toy. Aladdin finds the wand.

The Dragon takes Emma and Regina to another room in the mirror forest. Emma says she was looking for him. He says unfortunately, breaking their curse is beyond his ability. He tells them that Sidney was working on a way out, and points to a broken mirror. He thinks together they can mend it. Regina fixes one of the cracks by touching it and starts messing with the glass pieces.

Henry talks to a mirror. He says if his moms are in there, say something. The Evil Queen overhears and says it’s not like leaving a voicemail. She tells him that a gentleman never ditches his date. He says that Violet is somewhere safe, and he realized his mom wasn’t his mom. She brings up how she once helped him be brave, and says he could be great, but not if he’s a wimp. He says she can’t Darth Vader him and he’ll never join her. She says she’s not really evil, despite the name. She’s not a hero either, but a leader, and they do what’s necessary. She brings out a heart.

The Dragon tells them Henry is safe. Emma and Regina realize it’s the Evil Queen speaking through him. She’s also in the mirror and tells them that she has the Dragon’s heart. The Dragon doubles over. He says he doesn’t want to do this, and red smokes envelops him. When the smoke clears, he’s turned into a huge dragon.

The Evil Queen says to kill them, and the dragon Dragon goes crazy, flying all around and breathing fire. The queen gives Henry the hammer and says he can save them by smashing the Dragon’s heart. Henry says the Dragon is innocent, and it won’t make him hers. She says he’ll understand more of who she is though. He says if Regina dies so does she, and she says that’s how certain she is he’ll do it.

Emma and Regina hide behind some pillars. They discuss being mothers. Emma says neither one of them are sacrificing themselves, and Regina says they’ll do this together. She comes out and distracts the dragon. Henry says if the Evil Queen is his mom, not to make him do this. She says her own mother proved that sometimes all you need is a little push. The dragon comes after Emma and Regina. They cry out for help, but Henry smashes the mirror instead of the heart.

Good choice. The dragon breathes fire on the mirror, and Emma and Regina pop through. The Evil Queen says they made Henry soft, and accuses him of hiding behind them. He says he’s not hiding, and strong families make you stronger than you would be by yourself, but she’ll never understand because she’ll always be alone.

Hook grabs the queen from behind with his hook and tells Her Majesty to shove off. The Evil Queen tells Henry that she only wants what’s best for him, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Jasmine tells Aladdin she’s proud of him. Why do they both have British accents? Is Agribah lost in the UK? She says she was so focused on finding Agribah, she almost stopped him from helping Belle. Along with stealing the wand, he lifted a genie lamp, and gives it to her. She says the genie is gone, but he says he’s free now, but whoever’s inside might be able to help them find Agribah

Belle brings the wand to Zelena. Gold pops in right behind her. He says he can’t let Belle take their child away. He puts a spell on her and says no matter where she goes, he’ll find her. She calls him a beast, but he says it’s love. She says next time, she’ll run so far and so fast, he’ll never set eyes on his child. He says Rumpelstiltskin takes children, and she says tell your first son that.

Gold falls to the floor. Zelena says his heart only beats because of her, and if he hurts her, he hurts himself. He struggles up and says they’re far from done. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke. I guess a lot of the smoke budget was blown on the dragon Dragon, so they couldn’t afford another color.

Snow writes to David. She says she can’t do this anymore and she misses him. They switch places. David takes the crumpled paper from her hand and says he misses her too.

Violet goes to Granny’s. Henry apologizes for them missing the dance. She says they had their first date there, and it’s better than the dance. Henry says she’s seemed distant, but she says it’s not him; she’s having a hard time adjusting to school. She feels out of place like the kids in the John Hughes movie, and doesn’t know if shes a jock or a nerd. He says he should have started with Sixteen Candles, and tells her that she doesn’t need a label; she’s Violet. He asks her to dance

Emma tells Regina that Henry is going to be okay with or without her. Regina says the queen was wrong about him. She was so worried about how they’re going to raise him, she didn’t realize that they already had.

Gold looks at the sonogram picture. The Evil Queen tells him that children rebel; it’s their job, but it’s the parents job to make them strong. Gold asks how far she’s willing to go, and she says she’ll do anything. He suggests they might both get their happy ending and kisses her. She says they are on the same page this time, and he says for now. But there’s one more thing to take care of. He tells her that Zelena has become a bit of a problem, and he wants her dead.

Next time – in 2 weeks – Gold becomes a beast who goes too far, and Belle might lose her baby.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion Part Two

Teresa claims she had a gut feeling that Jacqueline set her up. Andy takes a break. Jacqueline says no wonder Teresa is so angry with her. In the dressing room, Chris tells Jacqueline that Teresa is crazy.

Chris and Joe #2 join the group. Andy says that was quite an accusation. Teresa says she doesn’t feel Jacqueline was responsible, but she dabbled in it. She went to “certain people” getting information, and started the ball rolling. Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what they think. Siggy says she’s been friends with Jacqueline for 2½ years, and Dolores says she doesn’t think that’s something Jacqueline would do. Chris says they have a mutual friend who called him about a possible Federal investigation, then Chris called another friend who had some ideas on how to circumvent things. He approached Joe #1 who told them to f-off, so he washed his hands of it. He asks when Teresa is going to take responsibility.

Jacqueline drags Melissa into it, saying that Melissa was giving her information. Melissa says she thought of her as a girlfriend who she told things to in confidence. She warns the others that Jacqueline will spill their secrets. Jacqueline tries to get Chris involved and Melissa points out that she doesn’t need to drag Joe #2 into her business. Chris says blah-blah-blah about how they used to be friends. He claims Jacqueline tried to get everyone to be friends when Teresa was on the outs with Melissa, but he told her one day she’d be the one on the outside.

Joe #2 thinks this is petty stuff, and that his family destroyed him. He says he was a mess for a while. and we flash back to some choice moments like the christening party. Chris talks about how he met Jacqueline, and somehow the subject of Jacqueline being a stripper pops up again, but doesn’t linger. Chris insists that Jacqueline never meant any ill will toward anybody.

Andy lightens the mood by saying sometimes he thinks he needs a Jersey translator, and shows some clips of “Jerseyisms,” which are more like Teresaisms. Like when Teresa confused an enema with edamame. Dolores confuses things further by telling her that it’s really a colonic. Teresa blames everything on having had braces on the back of her teeth. Jacqueline admits to it being an endearing quality.

Andy talks about Italian families and how it’s sometimes like being at war. He touches briefly on the rift between Teresa and her brother, but moves quickly on to Teresa coming home and how even prison didn’t bring her down. We see clips of the family, and of Joe leaving. Andy says he was surprised to hear that Teresa might have to sell the house. She says she thought it might be good to downsize, but the kids don’t want to leave, so she’s working hard to keep them there. Andy asks what she learned in prison. She talks about the wonderful women she met there, how they’re not bad people, and actually uses the word prison. She says it really wasn’t exactly a camp, and a lot of it was disgusting. She says she took responsibility, but she really just signed a paper. Andy asks if she blames Joe #1, but she says he took full responsibility, telling the court she had nothing to do with it, but since she’s a celebrity, it went the way it did. We see all the paparazzi screeching at her. Melissa says if Joe #1 could have done her time, he would have. I honestly believe that is the way it went. I think she had no clue what she was signing – why would she have read it, since she trusted her husband? And I think she was made an example of because she’s a reality star.

A viewer remarks that Teresa doesn’t seem to have remorse, and she’s like, what more do you want? They talk about Joe #1 now being inside, and how he almost has a six-pack now. Andy asks about Teresa’s insistence that Joe never cheated, and she says show her proof. They talk about Teresa’s going away party when she left the clink, and how Gia has a boyfriend now. Andy suggests she date Dolores’s Frankie, and Teresa says you never know.

Andy asks if Teresa thinks Joe will keep it together, and she says he is already. He asks about the possibility of Joe being deported. She says because it’s a legal matter, she can’t really discuss it and they’ll see what happens. He asks her why it’s something she doesn’t want to discuss, and she says there’s no need to give it life. Amen to that. Of course she doesn’t want to discuss it. Geez. That’s possibly the stupidest question Andy has ever asked anyone.

Chris is back, although I hadn’t realized he left. Andy asks why Teresa doesn’t want to deal with her cousins. Teresa says they’re toxic; they never called or wrote once, and Rosie really hadn’t been there for Joe. Jacqueline says that Teresa wouldn’t even sit on the same couch with them, and Teresa basically tells her to mind her own business. Siggy says Jacqueline just wanted to bring the family together, and Teresa says she doesn’t see it that way. Siggy says Teresa had different priorities than dealing with her cousins.

A viewer asks about Melissa and Kathy, but Melissa says they just drifted apart. Jacqueline tries to voice an opinion, but Melissa shuts it down, saying Jacqueline knows it’s true.

Next up, the nightmare in Vermont. We flash back to all that, and I want to smack Jacqueline’s stupid face all over again. Andy asks why Melissa invited Robyn and Kristina, and she says they were friends. Teresa talks about Jacqueline antagonizing Robyn, but Jacqueline says she was calling Robyn’s bluff. Chris says Jacqueline thought it was going to be a time of genuinely mending fences and was disappointed. Which I guess gave her leeway to scream at whoever she wanted to. Dolores thinks Melissa should have come to Jacqueline’s rescue, and Melissa says after Jacqueline barked at her like she was one of her kids, she didn’t answer Jacqueline fast enough. Andy asks Melissa if she had four nose jobs. Melissa barely starts to talk and Jacqueline jumps in with her two cents. Melissa says it’s her secret to tell, and wants to know why it’s Jacqueline’s business.

Jacqueline says blah-blah-blah, and claims Teresa went to jail for lying. Melissa calls Jacquleine a sh*tty friend. Teresa says she has a clown’s face, and that she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing with rabies. She calls Jacqueline disgusting, and Jacqueline acts like she doesn’t care, but Teresa says she does and that’s why she keeps coming back.

Andy asks Joe #2 why Jacqueline and Melissa had problems after Teresa came back. Joe says Jacqueline got weird, and Melissa says she acted paranoid and never believed that Teresa could change. Jacqueline questions whether or not Melissa and Teresa are really friends. Melissa says when Jacqueline lies, she turns the sound off. Chris claims that Teresa messed up their relationship with Joe #2 and Melissa. Melissa says there was a time they were friends, but Jacqueline ‘s mind messed with her and she started to question things. Then she called a magazine with stories about them, and that ended it.

We flash back on more of Jacqueline’s idiocy. Andy brings up the lunch that went south. He asks Jacqueline why she even went. Jacqueline says her intention was to talk to everyone one on one. Andy says that seems rational and logical, but that wasn’t how it came off. Jacqueline claims that Teresa and Melissa came in with an attitude. Dolores insists they were still angry about Vermont, but then stands corrected after they tell her that wasn’t the case and we see a clip.

Andy asks if Jacqueline’s approach had been different, would Teresa have accepted it. Teresa says she would have. Andy asks what about Melissa, and the lovely Jacqueline squeaks that he was going to talk to her. Melissa points out that Jacqueline was never a friend in the first place. Chris claims that Jacqueline feels too deeply for people, and when she’s hurt, she goes to extremes. Okay.

Andy asks Siggy and Dolores what it would take to heal the friendship. Dolores suggests a lobotomy and Siggy says you have to put gas in a relationship to keep it moving forward and this tank is out. We flash back to some better times. In an old interview, Chris says they have a strong bond, whether they admit it or not. Jacqueline says it’s hard, and Teresa says no matter what, she’ll always have a special place in her heart for Nicholas. Jacqueline says they’ve both said and done things that are terrible, but Teresa says she’s never done anything to intentionally hurt Jacqueline. They had great times, but something went sour. Dolores says once someone apologizes, you can’t go back and say you don’t trust them. I dunno about that.

Andy brings up Jacqueline being hit hard when Joe #1 went away. She says just because she’s angry doesn’t mean she doesn’t have compassion. She starts crying. Andy asks if Teresa felt warm toward Jacqueline when she saw that, and Teresa says she did at the time. Dolores insists that neither one of them would turn the other away if there was an acutal need.

Andy talks about them leaning on one another. He asks Jacqueline if she was surprised that everyone was so supportive about Nicholas, and they all start crying. Teresa and Melissa hold hands. Melissa says even as angry as she is, she doesn’t like to see anyone hurt. Siggy says they’re all the best moms ever. Everyone agrees. Siggy says she loves them all, but she’s never going to Vermont again. She asks if everyone would do a group hug for her. Andy wants to see one too. Jacqueline says everyone doesn’t have to be friends, and Teresa begs her not to talk to people who want to hurt her. Dolores thinks they should stop talking before it goes bad, and Andy says let’s move forward.

They all hug, including Andy.

Best quote of the reunion: If you need to remove the knives, then there should not be a lunch. —- Dolores

The Walking Dead

Michonne stares at Rick while he sleeps, but it’s not exactly a loving look. She gets out of bed and gets her sword. And kills Rick. Just kidding. She messes around in the fireplace and brings out a gun. She quietly puts it into her duffel bag and leaves. Rick sees her and who knows what he thinks.

Michonne walks across a field to an abandoned truck, and gets on top of it. She surveys the land and waits.

Rick tends to Judith. Eugene crunches numbers or whatever he does. Rosita asks him to open the gate. Spencer asks if Eugene wants to come, but he says no. Rosita says no surprise. Eugene says he’s getting a music player back together and doing his part.

The Whistling Man Negan pounds on the gate, telling the little pigs to let him in. Is he going to huff and puff? A guy opens the inner gate and asks who he is. Negan is like, are you joking? and then Rick joins them. He tells Rick don’t make him have to ask. Rick says they were told a week and he’s early. Rick opens the gate and Negan says he missed him.

Negan kills a zombie with Lucille and says “easy peasy lemon squeezie.” We already know he’s one of those funny guy villains. He’s brought Daryl along with him, and says he just took care of a dead prick that could have killed them all, instead of bashing someone’s head in. He hands Lucille to Rick and strolls into Alexandria.

Negan says things like hot diggity dog, and that Alexandria is an embarrassment of riches. He tells Rick that they’ll have plenty to offer up. Rick tries to talk to Daryl, but Negan tells him no, and the same goes for everyone. Negan is so ridiculously satisfied with himself, he’s almost not scary. He tells Rick they’ll decide what they take and his workers move out into the town. Negan says they’re going to search the houses a bit and keep the process moving. He asks if Rick is going to show him around.

Rosita starts to go back to the car. Dwight asks where she’s going, and then says he doesn’t care. He takes the weapons from the car. He tells Rosita he has a job for her. Get Daryl’s bike. She says it’s not there and he says she knows where it is. She starts to leave and he takes her cap, telling her she can go now. She and Spencer get back in the car. Dwight dumps out her water and says don’t take too long.

Michonne is still at her post on the truck. She aims her gun at a zombie. She shoots and misses. She shoots again and misses. She practically unloads the gun. Either she’s a really bad shot or the site is off. She splits the zombie’s head open with her sword. I’m sure that’s more satisfying anyway. She walks through the woods and sees a dead deer. I’d eat the whole thing right there before I’d bring it back for Negan to steal.

Some of Negan’s people bring out a ratty chair. Negan is pleased, and says they’re reasonable people once you get to know them. Daryl follows him around silently. One of the guy’s wants to show Negan something. It’s Rick in the old video that Deanna took. He looks all Jeremiah Johnson, and Negan says he wouldn’t have wanted to mess with that guy, but it’s not Rick anymore. He asks what happened to the sick girl, referring to Maggie, and asks if she was married to number two. He tells Rick to be careful with how he looks at him, and goes on about good looking widows. He says he’d love to see her. Father Gabriel asks if he wants to pay his respects, and Negan says he’s freaky as sh*t, sneaking up on him like that. Negan assumes Maggie didn’t make it. He says it didn’t need to happen, but Daryl forced his hand. He was going to ask her to come back with him.

While Negan is prattling on, there’s a shot from somewhere. It’s Carl telling the guys to put stuff back. Rick tells him to put the gun down. Carl says they’re taking all the medicine. He tells Negan that he should go before he finds out how dangerous they really are. Negan asks if Carl just threatened him. Rick says to put the gun down, but Negan tells him they’re having a conversation. Negan tells Carl he likes him and doesn’t want to go hard proving a point. He says half and half is what it is. He asks if Carl wants him to prove how serious he is…again. Carl gives Rick the gun and Rick gives it to Negan.

Negan is reminded how many guns they have. He says this emotional outburst has made it clear he can’t allow that, and they’re all his now. He asks Rick where his guns are.

Negan shakes down Olivia at the armory. She says she keeps track of everything like the rations and the guns. Negan says they have slim pickin’s as far as food goes, and they’re no good to him if they starve, so for now they can keep their food. He says is a thank you too much to ask? but Rick says nothing. Negan says he knows they started off on the wrong foot, but Rick forced his hand. He says he’s reasonable if people cooperate, and asks if Rick is cooperating. He wants to know if there are any guns waiting for their moment. Rick says the guns are all in the armory to the best of his knowledge, and Negan says he’s counting on that.

Rosita and Spencer go out to the forest. Spencer looks under a pile of branches and says it’s still there. It’s Daryl’s bike. He says he knows it sucks, but this is their life now, this is where Rick got them. He says maybe if Rick had thought it through, it would be different. People might still be with them. I’m not a huge Rick fan, but he’s being just a little harsh. Rosita trots into the woods.

Negan tells Rick he thinks their attangement is going to work just fine. He wonders if Rick has been taking care of his guns. He aims one at Daryl, who doesn’t react, but shoots out a window. Some guy brings out a bazooka. Negan says he’s going to have fun with it. A woman tells Negan they’re short two guns. Rick says they had some people leave and maybe the guns are with them. Negan asks if Olivia sucks at her job, but she says the inventory is correct. He asks if she knows where the guns are and that he’s disappointed. It shows that someone isn’t on board and he can’t have that. He says he doesn’t enjoy killing women, but it was Olivia’s responsibiltiy. He badgers her and she starts to cry.

Rick’s people gather at the church and he tells everyone he thought of hiding some of the guns, but what if the Saviors found them or they had the guns on them when they ran into one of them? It doesn’t matter how many bullets they have, it isn’t enough. He says hiding guns isn’t the answer anymore. He asks who has the two they’re looking for or who knows where they are? He says if they don’t find them, Negan will kill Olivia. A guy asks why they care and Rick asks if he has them, but he doesn’t. He says most of them weren’t there; they didn’t have to watch. If they give Negan what he wants, they live in peace. Another guy gets up and asks how they’re getting out of this. Rick says there is no way out of this. He’s not in charge anymore. Negan is. He asks again who has the guns. Eugene says not everyone is there.

Rosita slinks trough the forest following some zombies. Spencer calls for her. She hides behind a tree and takes the zombies out with a knife. I don’t know if there’s a purpose or she’s just getting out her aggression. She impales one’s head on the end of a log. Ooh. She took a gun off of him. But it’s empty. Rosita tells Spencer that Negan is going to take all their guns and asks if he’s going to tell. She says this is not their life and he walks away.

Rick watches Negan sitting with Olivia. He starts tearing the place apart. Gabriel comes in and says he feels like it’s going to work out. They’ll find the guns, get through today, and find a way to beat this. He has faith in Rick. He says things change; they weren’t always friends. He asks if Michonne has them, but Rick says she doesn’t have what they’re looking for. He thanks Gabriel for his quick thinking about Maggie.

Aaron tells Rick there’s nothing so far. They all split up to look elsewhere. Rick opens a floor grate and finds a lot of stuff, like bouncy ball, a can of beans, and whiskey. He pulls out a sack that has two guns in it. He brings them outside. Some guy is bothering Enid about keeping some balloons, making her say please a bunch of times. A-hole.

Rick gives Negan the guns. Negan says funny how a little thing like holy sh*t someone is going to die, lights a fire under everyone. He asks where Rick found them. I’d tell him it was Maggie’s house. Might as well make her the scapegoat since she’s supposed to be dead anyway.

Negan’s people start to pull out. Negan tells Rick he’s got a helluva place. Negan sees Michonne out of the corner of his eye. Rick asks for a second. Negan says no at first, and then smiles. Rick goes in, and Michonne sees him holding Lucille. Rick says he needs the rifle. He says he knows it’s in the bag and that she was out practicing. He says they have to give up their guns. If Negan finds them, someone dies, and he’s not losing anyone else. He asks if she’ll let him give the guns to Negan.

Michonne comes out with the deer like she was hunting. Rick gives Negan the gun. Negan says this is something to build a relationship on. He tells Rick that he’s special. Rick asks if Daryl can stay. Negan says, not happening, but amends that to maybe Daryl can plead his case and sway him.

Daryl says nothing. Negan says Rick tried. Now he has to get over that tall wall and earn for him. They’ll be back soon and Rick had better have something interesting for them, or Lucille will have her way. Someone will die, and no more magic guns. Michonne throws down the deer, and Negan says he loves a gal who buys him dinner and doesn’t expect him to put out.

Dwight takes Daryl’s bike and throws Rosita’s hat back to her. He asks if they found anything else, and she says just his dead friend. He rides off on Daryl’s bike. He tells Daryl to just say the word and he can have it back, but Daryl remains silent.

Negan tells Rick that nobody died. He thinks he and Rick can find their understanding. He asks if Rick wants him to go, and Rick says that would be good. He tells Rick to say the two magical words, and Rick says thank you. Negan is like, no, thank you, because he’s cuckoo.

Another zombie comes by and Negan says they need his help. He tells Rick they’re going to both come out winners and to watch his form. Rick tightens his grip on Lucille. Negan kills the zombie with a candlestick. (It was Negan in Alexandria with the candlestick.) Negan says win win, and to clean the candlestick up for next time.

Negan stats to leave, and says how careless of him, going back for his bat. He wonders why Rick would want Lucille after what she did, and thanks him for him being accommodating. He tells Rick that he just shoved his d*ck down Rick’s throat and Rick thanked him for it. Finally, they leave. Daryl looks at Rick from the back of the truck.

Rick tells Spencer that they were going to kill Olivia over two guns that were missing, and he found them in Spencer’s house. He doesn’t fault him for having the guns, but the food and liquor? He calls Spencer weak, saying they got lucky this time, and Spencer says they should have made a deal when they could. He asks if Glenn and Abe were lucky too. Rick tells him that if he says something like that again, he’ll knock Spencer’s teeth down his throat.

Rosita confronts Spencer about the guns. He says he had them for a while because he didn’t trust Rick. He says he was worried about Rick being in charge, and she said it already, that this doesn’t have to be their life. He drives away, and she takes a gun out of the wheel well of another car.

Rick fixes up a bed on the floor since the mattresses were all taken. Michonne says the rifle belonged to the Saviors and wasn’t on the list. He asks if she has more, and she says no. She says everything they have, they got from fighting for it. Rick says he made a choice and Negan has the numbers. She says what about Hilltop, but he tells her they still outnumber them. He says if they play by the rules, they’ll have some kind of life. Michonne says what kind?

Rick talks about Shane and how he took care of Carl when Rick was out of commission in the beginning. He says Shane hooked up with Rick’s wife because they thought he was dead. He says he loves Judith, but she isn’t his. He had to accept that to keep her alive. He hopes he can raise her and protect her and teach her to survive. He says he had to accept how they live now to keep everyone else alive. He tells Michonne that she has to accept this – they all do – or it wont’ work. Michonne says she’ll try.

Michonne goes back to the abandoned truck. She hears something and looks in the distance. She gets down and walks across the field. She sees a smoldering pile of gravestones and starts hyperventilating.

Rosita picks up a shell casing. She takes it to Eugene and asks him to make her a bullet.

Next time, Maggie is at Hilltop and at risk, Carl is done, and Jesus is back (no, not that Jesus).