Monthly Archives: December 2016

December 29, 2016 – The Wedding that Wasn’t, a Replacement & Quotes from Those We’ve Lost


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Curtis sees Jordan at the MetroCourt New Year’s Eve party. He asks if he should just keep moving, but she says new year, new us. She’s’ letting go of the past.

Valentin tells Nina that she’s going to outshine the bride. She says be careful; they’re treading on thin ice already. She tells him that Lulu isn’t going to stop until she has Charlotte all to herself.

Kiki freaks a little, thinking there are going to be no bathroom breaks on the bus, but I think that kind of bus usually has a bathroom on it. Dillon tells her to just ignore him. She says if she could do that, she wouldn’t have been on the bus in the first place. He asks if that’s why she’s leaving Port Charles, and she says him, and Valerie. She couldn’t stand the thought of seeing them together.

Nathan tells Dante that he’s still married to Claudette. It might have been a good idea to have double-checked on that before.

Lulu tries to wake Maxie, but has no luck. Robin comes in, and tells Lulu to start a cold shower, and she’ll get coffee. Come hell or high water, Maxie is getting married.

Jason and Sam go to the chapel where Lucy is practicing officiating. It’s really pretty – all white branches and crystal, white roses and balls of holly.

Bobbie asks if Nell recognizes the pill in her hand. Nell says yes, she takes them every day. Bobbie says she found it in Sonny’s bedroom, and asks how hit got there. Nell says she dropped it. Well, that was easy.

Sonny tells Carly that the holidays aren’t the same without her, and asks her to stay. He says it’s going to be hard enough without Morgan, and being together might make it easier. He holds out his hand and asks if they can at least try.

Nathan is understandably bummed. He tells Dante that it was Claudette’s mother who called him. She found the divorce papers, unsigned and never filed. He says Maxie is waiting a floor away for him to marry her, and he can’t.

Maxie squeals and comes running out of the shower. She lies on the bed, but Robin tells her, no you don’t. Lulu brings the hairdryer, and Robin gives her the coffee. Maxie sneezes and spills it all over her wedding dress, which Lulu had put in her lap to get her to focus.

Jason and Sam go into the chapel. Lucy tells them that she hasn’t officiated in a long time, and she’s going to go polish her opening remarks. Jason lights a candle for Morgan. Sam wonders why Winston showed up at Alexis’s house. Jason asks if Alexis is coming, but Sam isn’t sure. She says Alexis has been distant, and wonders if she could have anything to do with Morgan’s death. Boy, is she not connecting the dots.

Jordan tells Curtis that she’s being pressured to wrap up the case, but all she has is a questionable confession and sketchy evidence. The good news is, she got approved to hire him as an outside investigator.

Valentin tells Nina that she was right; Lulu is suing him for full custody. He says as much as he loves Charlotte, he could be deemed unsuitable because he’s a single father who travels a lot.

Nell explains to Bobbie that she was picking something up for Carly, struggled with the childproof cap, and when the bottle popped open, her pills spilled everywhere. Bobbie questions it being dropped months ago, when Sonny has a full-time housekeeper. Nell asks why Bobbie always acts like she’s done something wrong.

Carly tells Sonny that she doesn’t know how they’re going to survive the years without Morgan. She goes down Memory Lane about last New Year’s Eve when Sonny was in the wheelchair. She says they had so much hope. Sonny says hope didn’t die with Morgan, and asks if she isn’t feeling it a little bit. She says she wants to, but there’s a fine line between hope and denial. She realized she has to be realistic about the life they lead and how dangerous it is. As far as she can see, that hasn’t changed.

Maxie says her dress is ruined, but she’s so cold, she doesn’t care. Lulu says she’ll get club soda, but Robin tells her that Maxie is burning up. After finding out that Maxie didn’t get a flu shot, Robin puts her back into bed. Robin suggests postponing the wedding. Maxie gets a text that Spinelli, Georgie and Ellie are stuck in Chicago because of the weather. Lulu says Maxie will have the wedding of her dreams, just not tonight. Nathan comes in.

Maxie asks if Nathan knew she was sick. He says he has bad news.

Kiki tells Dillon about the conversation she overheard between him and Valerie, when they were talking about how the night they spent together was the best. She says she couldn’t stay in Port Charles knowing she would see them together. He says they’re just friends, and on the night they spent together, all they did is talk about how relationships suck.

Valentin tells Nina that he’s not going down without a fight. Nina says contrary to popular belief, he has a support system, and she’ll help him.

Sonny asks if Carly can’t open up. She tells him that she wants that. She misses him and wants it all back, but he can’t promise her that there won’t be another bomb or bullet. She has to walk away.

Robin, Sam and Jason make small talk, and Lucy joins them. Robin tells them that Maxie has the flu and there isn’t going to be a wedding tonight. Lucy asks what she can do, and Robin asks her to make a sign for the door. Lucy leaves, and Sam suggests Robin join them at the MetroCourt. Robin likes the idea, but says there’s someone she has to see first.

Sonny tells Carly that he didn’t put the hit on Morgan. Carly says she believes that, and knows he believes it too. He says by the grace of God they’re still standing, so why can’t they stand together? She says she hates being without him, but hates the thought of someone she loves being harmed more. She tells him she has to go.

Bobbie asks what’s going on between Nell and Michael. Nell says they’re just friends. He even invited her out tonight, and she turned him down. Bobbie says that’s a step in the right direction. She says she knows she comes on strong, but people take advantage. She tells Nell that she’s a Spencer, and that means she won’t let anything or anyone hurt her family. She tells Nell happy New Year and leaves. Nell texts someone.

Michael gets a text from Nell, who’s changed her mind about going out. I’m officially looking forward to a Bobbie/Nell feud.

Curtis tells Jordan it’s not a slam dunk that Sonny is behind this. Jordan says that’s why she wants to hire him. He’s not taking the bait, and she’s surprised that he wants to continue working with Jason. She says what happens when he finds enough to clear Sonny’s name, and Sonny walks again. He says she wants to bury Sonny, and they’re done talking. He turns around to see Andre, who says they’re not.

Maxie tells Nathan what happened and how she ruined her dress. She adds that Spinelli is grounded in Chicago too. Nathan tells her that he’s still married to Claudette. That definitely tops Spinelli being stuck in Chicago.

Lulu tells Dante about what Laura said to her. She says that Laura suggested they aim for shared custody, but she’s going for sole custody.

Kiki tells Dillon that he was the only reason she left Port Charles. He says that she was the only reason that he left.

Nina and Valentin go to the chapel. Valentin says it’s lovely, but kind of empty. Lucy pops out, telling them that the bride is ill and the wedding is postponed. She says that the chapel is going to be closed soon, and leaves to post the sign. Nina asks Valentin if he meant what he said about fighting for Charlotte, and he says he does. She tells him to marry her, and they can fight for Charlotte together.

Maxie wonders if they were set up by Claudette. She tells Nathan that if Valentin wasn’t such a bad guy, she’d feel sorry for him.

A priest comes to close the chapel. Nina asks if he can marry them right now. He tells them that they need a license, and there’s no way he can get one that fast on New Year’s Eve. Valentin says if he’s willing to marry them, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Dante tells Lulu he’s in. Lulu says she should have talked to him first, but she was afraid he’d say she was being unreasonable. He says she’s being very reasonable.

Valentin calls a judge and says the license will be there within an hour. The priest leaves them to prepare. Valentin gives Nina one of the floral decorations for her bouquet.

Nell shows up at the MetroCourt to meet Michael. Carly says she’s happy to see them together. Michael asks why Carly is there, and she says she’s working. Nell tells her that there’s an old saying, if you spend New Year’s alone, you’ll be alone all year, and asks if she wants to tempt Fate. Carly says it’s almost midnight, and leaves to attend to business. Michael tells Nell now he knows why she took him up on his offer.

Dante tells Lulu to trust that they’re a team and she’s not doing this alone. She says she does. He asks how Valentin could ever prove he has a good home life for Charlotte? They kiss.

Nina and Valentin’s wedding ceremony begins. With no witnesses.

Kiki explains to Dillon that when she said it was hard to be with him, it didn’t mean that she didn’t want to be with him. He asks what now. She says they toast, and pulls out a bottle of champagne. She obviously comes prepared. Kiki tells Dillon that it’s Fate, and sometimes it isn’t cruel.

Nathan tells Maxie that nothing is going to prevent him from spending the rest of his life with her, and he loves her. She says that she loves him too. He asks if she’s going to make it to midnight, and she says she wouldn’t miss kissing him.

Andre apologizes to Curtis, especially about answering Jordan’s phone and not telling her that he called. He tells Curtis that it won’t happen again, and they wish each other happy New Year. Andre moves on to Jordan, who doesn’t want to talk about Curtis. He tells her how beautiful she looks in the necklace that he gave her. She’s happy with the gift, and I would be too – he has great taste in chokers.

Nell tells Michael that they obviously didn’t get through to his mom. He says it might take years, but she and Sonny will find their way back to each other – it’s inevitable.

Jason and Sam join the party, and Sam asks Carly about Sonny. Carly says she just can’t. Sam says anything can happen at any time. She never knows if Jason will be taken away from her, so she stays in the present and grabs the moment. She asks if Carly can do that. Even just for tonight.

Robin goes to Sonny’s place. He’s glad to see her. He tells her about how Morgan didn’t die because of him, and she says what a heavy burden must have been lifted. She asks about Carly. He says she doesn’t trust him, but he doesn’t blame her. Robin tells him that any man who’s capable of facing his darkest thoughts in the depths of despair can do anything. She has to leave, but tells him he’ll be okay.

Michael and Nell wonder where Carly went.

Nina and Valentin say their vows. They might be crazy, but these two are pretty cool. He takes ribbons from the ornaments and they use them for rings. Cool overload.

Carly goes back to Sonny’s house. They wish each other happy New year and kiss.

On the bus, Dillon and Kiki swig from the champagne bottle. He says it’s been a rough year, but they made it. They kiss.

No surprise, Maxie has fallen asleep. Nathan gets into bed beside her.

Robin calls Patrick, wishing him happy New Year.

Sam and Jason look forward to the year to come, and baby Scout.

Michael and Nell dance. Michael makes a sort of toast, saying to better days for all of us, as he twirls her around.

Andre tells Jordan that he loves her. She says she loves him too. They kiss.

Dante and Lulu toast to the year of their daughter.

Nina and Valentin are pronounced man and wife.

Tomorrow is rerun, but next week, Sam confronts Alexis, Franco insists that he didn’t kill Tom, and Lulu wonders how a fight with Nina could affect the custody case.

Quotes of the Week

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Carrie Fisher – funny, Caroline #1’s husband said almost the same thing to her on Ladies of London this week. It’s probably an old one, but we’ll give it to Carrie. RIP.

Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.Carrie Fisher, April 2013, in an interview with the Sarasota Herald-Tribune.

Really thin is not attractive. I was always little, but my mother was not a skinny lady. She had big boobs and a divine, voluptuous figure. I think everyone should get over the whole thin thing.Debbie Reynolds, The Telegraph, 2014.

The only way you learn is by failure.Debbie Reynolds

So farewell to the way-too-many we lost in 2016, looking forward to 2017, and wishing you all good things always. Stay safe on New Year’s Eve. See you next year!


December 28, 2016 – A PC New Year’s Eve Wedding…or Not


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 Now Debbie Reynolds. Good Lord!

General Hospital

Maxie practices her wedding vows. And then promptly sneezes. She’s not feeling well. Felicia and Lulu come over. Lulu has brought medical supplies, and tells her that nothing is going to stop her from getting married today. This lets us know early on that it’s not going to happen.

Dante is already in his tux, but it looks like Nathan isn’t feeling too great either. He asks Dante if he ever gets a sense that something bad is going to happen. Something that will keep him and Maxie from getting married.

Hayden wakes up and sees Finn sleeping in a chair. She says he’s still there, and he says so is she. She says she’s living proof that his cure worked.

Bobbie brings a present for Avery to Sonny’s house. Michael is thinking of asking someone to come out for New Year’s, but thinks she might have plans already. No surprise, he’s talking about Nell.

Nell messes with the music box and flashes back on setting up Sonny. She asks out loud if Caroline is ever sorry, and adds that she will be. Carly knocks at the door. She says she needs to talk to Nell about Sonny.

Tracy and Dillon fight over the check at the bar. Tracy feels like she should be bracing for bad news, since he invited her out and now wants to foot the bill. Dillon tells her that he’s going back to LA, and won’t be able to make New Year’s Eve. He’s going to the West Coast to look for the right job. She tells him he already has the right job. He says it’s fulfilling, but didn’t go to school to be a fashion photographer. He has a vision and stories he wants to tell. She thinks it really has to do with him avoiding Kiki.

Ava meets Kiki at Kelly’s. She says Christmas wasn’t the same without her, but she brought Kiki a gift from her NYC trip. Bagels. She’s absolutely right that you can’t get a good one anywhere else, and I hope she threw some vegetable cream cheese in there. And maybe lox. Ava wants Kiki to know how much it meant for them to spend Christmas Eve together, and asks if she’d like to spend the New Year together, but Kiki says she has plans.

Finn asks Hayden how she’s feeling. She says she’s a little groggy and has a slight headache, but she’s mostly having a hard time believing she owes her life to a reptile. She asks if he’s made another dose for himself.

Sonny tells Michael that he thought he and Nell were just friends. Michael says they are, but the more time they spend together, he’s starting to care about her. Sonny tells him not to go there, and Bobbie overhears.

Carly tells Nell that Sonny told her everything. This unnerves Nell for a moment, but of course she’s talking about the gloves. She thanks Nell for the gesture. Nell says she had an ulterior motive – getting Carly and Sonny back together.

Mac brings the rings to Dante, and whips out some sipping whiskey for a shot before the wedding. Um…Nathan isn’t even dressed. He wishes Nathan and Maxie every happiness in the world. Geez, that’s a big shot. It’s more like a juice glass.

Lulu suggests postponing the wedding, but Maxie won’t hear of it. Lulu tells her that she’s sick, and Robin walks in saying there’s a doctor in the house. Robin says either it’s something serious or the worst is yet to come. Maxie is like, thanks for the support, and sneezes again.

Mac helps Nathan with his cufflinks. Nathan says if he seems nervous, it’s not about Maxie. He thanks Mac for everything. Mac says he had a good feeling about him from the start. They bro hug.

Ava says she doesn’t blame Kiki for wanting to spend New Year’s Eve with her friends, but Kiki says she’s going to be networking. She needs a career. Ava is impressed. Kiki says someone woke her up recently, and made her take a look at her life.

Dillon tells Tracy that he hasn’t had the best track record in Port Charles. Tracy says she thinks he’ll be back by Three Kings Day.

Finn claims he took some serum and is on his way to recovery. Hayden thinks he needs some real rest after coming up with a cure that will save a lot of lives. Finn says maybe his dead wife can be at peace now, and Hayden says maybe he can too.

Bobbie acts all shocked that Michael and Nell are dating, but Michael says not yet. Bobbie tells him that grief can cloud your judgement, and she doesn’t want that to happen to him. Michael wishes them a happy New Year and jets. Bobbie asks Sonny what she just walked in on, and if he has misgivings about Nell. Sonny says he’s just being protective.

Nell says that getting back together with Sonny will make Carly happy, and a happy boss is good for her. Carly says it sounds like she cares about them the same way they care about her. Nell’s phone alarm goes off. She has to take her blood pressure medication, a side effect of having only one kidney, which makes Carly feel badly. She says she’s going to leave Nell to her New Year’s Eve plans. Nell says she’s working on her New Year’s resolution. She’s not ready to share it yet, but Carly will know soon enough.

Robin tells Lulu that she heard about Charlotte. Lulu tells her about fighting for custody, and Robin says she’ll win. Valentin has nobody on his side. Nina knocks on the door. Imagine that sound like when you get a wrong answer on a game show.

Dante promises Nathan that nothing will go wrong. Imagine that sound again.

Tracy tells Finn he looks like hell. She wonders why, since Brad is supposed to be making more of the cure. Hayden says it’s just because he was sleeping in the chair all night, and tells him to eat first, then shower. Tracy wonders now that Hayden is healthy, where does that leave her and Finn? In the hallway, Finn almost collapses.

Carly comes to Sonny’s place. Bobbie asks if Carly wants her to wake Avery, but she says no. Carly tells Sonny it was nice spending Christmas together and it meant a lot to her. Sonny says him too. She says it’s hard, so many memories, and she’s worried that Avery won’t remember Morgan. Bobbie goes to get tissues, since this is a weepy topic. Carly and Sonny sit. She says it’s the last place they saw Morgan alive, and wonders what if they’d stopped him. Sonny says Avery will always remember how much Morgan loved her; he’ll make sure of that. Bobbie looks at a pill in her hand. The same kind of pill Nell just took.

Ava asks Kiki who’s been advising her, and she says just a friend. Ava has to go to the gallery, and wishes her a wonderful time. Kiki hugs her, and tells Ava that she loves her. Ava says she loves Kiki too, and tells her to stay safe. After she’s gone, Kiki tells someone on the phone that she’s ready to go.

Lulu asks what Nina is doing there, and Nina reminds her that she’s the groom’s sister. She asks to speak to Lulu in private. Nina tells her that Valentin will be escorting her to the wedding.

Maxie has to get ready for her candid photos (ha-ha), and says she’s never been so sure of anything as marrying Nathan.

The guys have already lost the rings. Robin comes in to find them crawling around on the floor, and wonders what she missed. She gets the photographer, and Nathan and Dante continue to look.

Bobbie brings Carly the tissues. She gets ready to go. What up wit dat pill? Bobbie looks at it when she gets out on the porch. Carly asks Sonny what he’s doing New Year’s Eve. He says what he won’t be doing is going to the city to watch the ball drop. Me neither. Never have, never will. A friend of mine went once, and her description of the whole event was enough. She never went again either.

Nell takes the rattle out again, saying it’s Carly’s first Christmas gift, and she tossed it aside like so much else. She says Carly has probably forgotten, but she hasn’t. I have to admit to being very curious about this.

Kiki gets on the bus and sees Dillon.

Hayden and Tracy play cards. Finn comes in looking a lot better. Tracy tells Finn he has his job back, and tells him not to do the quitting thing again. He says he’ll do his best. She tells him that he needs to accept he’s found his place in this life, and it’s here in Port Charles.

Michael calls Nell. He wonders if she has any plans.

Sonny apologizes to Carly about the gloves. Carly says Nell’s heart was in the right place. He says he did get a little something, and gives her a wrapped gift. It’s a pressed flower encased in a glass frame. He talks about the same flowers blooming in Martinique when they got married there. They reminisce. Sonny says it didn’t turn out like it was supposed to, but he doesn’t regret it.

Dante finds the rings, but Maxie has forgotten her shoes. Nina brings her some designer heels that just arrived at Crimson and happen to be in her size. Lulu tries to get Nina to uninvite Valentin. She says she’ll never let him raise her daughter. Nina says he’s a wonderful father, and “Charlotte loves us.” Lulu says Charlotte isn’t a consolation prize because Nina can’t have children, and tells her to stay out of it. Nina says Lulu doesn’t deserve Charlotte, and Lulu goes ballistic. Everyone comes out, and Lulu suggests they ask Nina who she’s bringing as her date.

Maxie takes one of the medications that Lulu brought. How much you want to bet it’s the one you’re supposed to take to help you sleep?

Dillon sits next to Kiki. She says there’s no point spending the trip trying to ignore each other, and asks why he’s on the bus. He says the flights were grounded because of the storm (more fictitious weather), and he’s trying to get to a friend’s place in LA. She says she has a job interview in LA. He tells her that he can change buses, and he’ll get off at the next stop. The driver says the first stop will be Detroit, five hours from now. It’s an express bus.

Felicia tells Lulu and Nina to knock it off, and Robin seconds that, reminding them whose day it is. She says the photographer is waiting. Felicia tells Lulu to keep the bride calm, and takes Nina with her to check on the reception set-up. Yep, Maxie is totally out.  Lulu tries to wake her, and realizes she took the wrong thing.

Nathan gets a call. He asks if they’ve heard from Claudette. He’s like, what?! He listens, and thanks them. He tells Dante that he and Maxie aren’t getting married today.

Finn and Hayden kiss. I guess they’re both feeling better. Hayden tells Finn that she has the feeling 2017 will be a good year. He says it could be.

Carly thanks Sonny. She says it’s a perfect reminder of a perfect time. She wants to leave, but Sonny says Olivia will handle the MetroCourt, and asks her to stay, kinda almost taking her hand.

Nell thanks Michael, but says she doesn’t think it’s a good idea. He says it was worth a shot, and tells her happy New Year. There’s a knock at Nell’s door. It’s Bobbie. She says she wanted to return Nell’s pill, and asks what she was doing in Sonny’s bedroom.

Tomorrow, Carly has to walk away from something, Nathan is still married to Claudette, and Valentin tells Nina that Lulu is suing him for full custody. I guess she’s decided not to listen to Laura.

December 27, 2016 – A Ship Called Reincarnation, an Escape Room in Beverly Hills & Speed Londoning


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


Wow. The celebrities have been dropping like flies. Carrie Fisher just passed away. Not quite as much of a shock as George Michael or Alan Thicke, but still, wow.

General Hospital

Valentin curses his life. Nina comes running in, and he tells her he lost something.

Anna is having coffee at the MetroCourt and Laura joins her. She wants to follow up about Valentin. Anna wonders what the Christmas thing was about, and Laura says he’s playing with them and needs to be neutralized. Funny, she never uses words like that.

Curtis and Jason meet Sam at Kelly’s. Jason tells her they’re no longer convinced that Julian is behind the bombing.

Winston tells the boss that he thinks Julian and Alexis have assumed relations and Julian is no longer convalescing. What? Ha-ha! Nobody uses the words like the villains use on this show. He says that they need to keep Julian in line. He needs to be reminded that there are consequences to any disobedience.

Alexis wakes to Julian’s face, but it’s just a dream. He calls to her from downstairs. Holy! She takes a drink before she even gets out of bed. I went to a party last weekend, and even now, just the thought of that makes my stomach turn.

Curtis tells Sam that they haven’t ruled Julian out officially, and they think he knows more than he’s saying. Jason says whoever did this used the van and deliberately left it to be found. Sam asks if they think it’s a set up, and Curtis says they’re not ruling out any possibilities. Curtis leaves to do “that thing.” Jason says he thinks both Julian and Sonny were set up.

Alexis asks Julian if it isn’t enough that he ruined her life and blackmailed her, does she really have to clock in? He says anyone would be worried if they knew how hard she was hitting the bottle. She asks if he doesn’t have someone to answer to, like a boss. Speaking of which…

Winston tells the boss that they have other means at their disposal, and he’ll deal with it right away. Maybe Winston is nuts and he’s really the boss. I don’t really think so, but this one-sided conversation is getting old.

Nina says she’ll help Valentin look, but he says he overreacted. He tells her that it’s an old photograph.

Anna tells Laura not to do anything, because she’s working with the WSB. Laura says she’s running out of time. Lulu is going to fight for custody, but if the court rules against her, Laura is afraid of what Lulu will do. Anna says Lulu should be careful or she’ll lose all access to Charlotte. Laura says if Lulu loses, she’ll eliminate Valentin herself. Man, Laura is feisty today.

Jason tells Sam that Sonny had controlled Port Charles for over twenty years, and Julian came along two years ago and took over. He wonders what if someone else wanted the territory? He talks about the pawn shop, and Sam says she’ll help to investigate. Lucas walks in. I forgot he’s even on this show, it’s been so long. Curtis calls Jason who tells him the pawn shop is closed. He’s going to track down Winston, but in the meantime the shop is unattended. Jason says he’ll get on that and jets. Lucas asks Sam about Julian’s accident, and Sam says she’s sorry she bothered visiting him.

Julian tells Alexis that he’s being supportive, giving Alexis someone to talk to. He says he’s the only one who knows how terrified she is that she won’t get back to where she was, and drinking isn’t going to get her out of it.

Anna says that Laura has every right to sacrifice herself, but they should make sure it doesn’t come to that. She promises there’s always something to be found with someone like Valentin.

Nina asks what’s up with the photo. Valentin says it’s a relic from his past, and it reminds him how far he’s come and how far he has to go.

Laura asks Anna what she’d do if Valentin came after Robin or Emma. Laura sees Lulu and says good-by to Anna. Andre arrives and takes Laura’s place at Anna’s table. He says Anna’s message sounded urgent.

Lulu joins Laura talk about Rocco’s new Christmas puppy. Lulu says the only thing missing on Christmas was Charlotte. Laura says she spoke to Scotty. Lulu wonders what court would let Valentin keep Charlotte. Laura says plenty of courts would do just that.

Anna shows Andre the photo, and tells him that an associate found it in Valentin’s possession. Even though the picture is from her early WSB days, she says Robert told her that Valentin never went through the WSB program. Andre says he could have gotten the photo and information from someone else who knew her back in the day.

Valentin tells Nina that the photo was sentimental. She says he’s doing it again – the mysterious thing. He drops a hint and pulls back, and it doesn’t work for her anymore. He apologizes, and says he doesn’t trust people very easily. She asks if they don’t both have to take a leap of faith and trust each other if they’re going to have a relationship.

Laura tells Lulu that they have to come up with a plan. Lulu says she’s Charlotte’s mom and wants Charlotte with her. She says she can offer Charlotte a safe, stable environment, while Valentin is a single parent and a murderer. Laura says that Charlotte is old enough for the court to take her wishes into consideration. They need to have their best strategy to win before they go to war. She suggests striking a deal and sharing custody.

Alexis tells Julian that she doesn’t interfere with his publishing business, and to stop acting like he cares. She says he’s delusional if he thinks you can love your wife and then try to kill her. He says what about when she kissed him last night, or is she going to deny it happened? Um…didn’t they already talk all about that last night?

Sam tells Lucas that ever since she got pregnant, Danny keeps asking when Lucas and Brad are having kids. Lucas says that Julian would want to place himself in his hypothetical child’s life, and he doesn’t want that.

Alexis tells Julian the kiss meant nothing, and unfortunately, she wasn’t drunk. She was trying to give him a tiny taste of how he treats her. Julian is about to tell her something that’s supposedly a bombshell, when the doorbell rings. It’s Winston. He says he’s there to see Julian and Alexis asks if he works for Julian. Winston says he works with him.

Jason lets himself into the pawn shop. The boss watches on the monitor. Curtis watches as Alexis lets Winston in, and says that’s just weird. Jason checks out the model ship.

Sam shows Lucas pictures of Danny on her phone, and he sees the Chinese food bag by accident. She says it’s just something she’s working on. He tells her that the characters don’t say “good taste” in Chinese.

Jason remembers Winston talking about the ship and how he’s holding it for a customer.

Curtis wonders what the owner of a shady ass pawn shop has going on with Alexis. He hears on the scanner that an armed and dangerous guy has broken into the pawn shop.

Winston comments that Julian has a lovely wife. She says ex-wife, and Winston says Julian must be doing something right. He asks for privacy, and Alexis says he doesn’t need to ask twice. After she’s gone, Winston says that Julian didn’t say anything about relocating, and keeping secrets doesn’t look good. The boss has asked him to show Julian something they’ve been keeping from him.

Andre tells Anna that one of her former classmates or instructors could have given Valentin the information. She doesn’t believe it. She says that Valentin enjoys provoking her, and everything is calculated. Whatever happened between them is personal to him.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s the one taking a big risk. If she has to trust him, he has to trust her. He says he’s spent his life not trusting anyone.

Lulu can’t believe what Laura just asked her to do. Laura says she’s afraid of the consequences Lulu will face if she doesn’t win. She’s asking the court to place Charlotte with a stranger. Lulu says that’s why she needs custody right now, so they can bond. Laura says strike a deal so she can do that, and they can bide their time until the circumstances favor them, and then pull the rug out from under Valentin. She tells Lulu that they have to be patient, but the WSB will get enough information to put him away. Lulu says if Valentin was a good man, she’d be glad to share custody, but she thinks Charlotte is in danger, and one way or another she’ll win.

Nina asks Valentin about the photograph. He says pain is useful and can keep him from making the same mistake again. There was someone he trusted, and he let her see the real him, and she made him pay a steep price. (Anna?) The only one he’s trusted since is Charlotte. Nina says there’s good news – if he let Charlotte in, maybe he’ll let someone else in.

Sam asks Lucas when he started speaking Chinese, and he says he just speaks a little. She asks him to translate. He says it seems to be saying “reincarnation.” I laugh because I totally misunderstood. I guess Good Taste is the restaurant name. I thought Lucas was inferring that the characters were not in good taste and cursed you out or something.

Curtis calls Jason and tells him to get out of the pawn shop; the cops are on their way. We hear sirens and Jason says, too late.

Winston shows Julian security footage of when Alexis hit him. Oh please, can we see him fly in the air again? Nope. Julian says she called 911, and wonders why he was told the footage was unusable. Winston says maybe someone got there first and took out the good parts. He wonders about Alexis’s standing with the bar association if this comes out. Julian says if he harms Alexis, and begins to threaten him, but Winston says Julian won’t let that happen, right? He lets himself out, and Alexis comes back downstairs.

Laura tells Lulu that the next step is for her to sit down with her lawyer and husband and plot the case. Lulu is surprised that Laura isn’t fighting her harder. Laura says bottom line, she has Lulu’s back, and Charlotte belongs with her no matter what.

Nina tells Valentin that they have to look for the photo, but he says someone took it. She wonders if it’s Charlotte, and he says someone else.

Anna tells Andre that she has a bit of a memory. She was young and walking down a corridor, and hears whistling – the same tune that Valentin taught Charlotte. Andre says with the intense training, her memory might not be reliable. Anna starts to tear up. She says even if it’s just a fragment or out of context, she has to get to the end of the memory. She has to walk down the corridor and find out what’s behind the door. She thinks the answers will tumble out when it’s opened. She wants Andre to hypnotize her.

Jason and Curtis come back to Kelly’s. Sam asks what’s wrong. Jason says good thing Curtis has a police scanner because he almost got caught. Curtis tells her that he called 911 to report a scary clown incident down the block to divert them. He says obviously, someone saw Jason.

A cop arrives at the pawn shop. He asks Winston about the security footage, but Winston says the cameras are just for show and haven’t worked in years. He says that the sirens must have scared the intruder off and nothing was taken.

Jason tells Sam that it wasn’t a total loss; he snagged the model ship. It has the same Chinese characters on it that are on the bag. Sam tells them that it means reincarnation.

Winston tells the boss that the model boat is missing.

Curtis wonders if the person Winston met with this morning might give them information. He tells them Winston was with Sam’s mama.

Alexis asks what part of Julian’s work includes her. She wonders why he’s so tense. Julian says if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was worried about him. She tells him not to flatter himself.

Winston says that Julian has been put in his place for the time being, but he and the boss have a more urgent problem. It’s time to do something about Jason Morgan.

Because the shows are out of sync, there’s no preview, just the extra-long credits where they actually show everyone who worked on GH, which usually happens on Christmas Eve.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika is going to the CBS studio to discuss her part on The Young and the Restless, and she’s nervous. In her interview, she talks about when she first moved to LA and went on auditions, and how she’s a showgirl rather than an actress. She makes a good point in saying everyone hits their strides at different times, and she hates when people give you a shelf life, like if you don’t do something by a certain age, you’re done. Says who? she says. You go, Erika Jayne!

Kyle and LisaV meet for drinks. Lisa tells Kyle that West Hollywood is supporting her fight against the Yulin dog meat trade, and she wants to put political pressure on China. In her interview, she says she wants to make it her life’s work to stop dog torture. I love Lisa and want to know when I can move in. They joke about Erika not wearing underwear at the pre-white party kiki. Kyle thinks Dorit is just a little annoyed and not ready to let it go. Lisa says she likes her knickers. Me too.

Erika arrives at the studio, and Eileen meets her. She tells Eileen she doesn’t want to let her down. Executive producer Mal meets with them. We find out that Erika was (loosely) named after Erika Kane on All My Children. They discuss what kind of part she would like. She says she’s more like the hooker next door than the girl next door. He asks if they would like a scene together, and they would. In her interview, Erika jokes that she doesn’t want to single-handedly sink the show.

Dorit and PK take daughter Phoenix to the doctor. She wears a headband because she favored one side while sleeping, and it started to affect her skull. Dorit is hoping they’re getting closer to being able to take it off. They look at before and after pictures, and the doctor says she’s done wearing it. Dorit is ecstatic.

LisaR goes to do her QVC thing. She started with them after her stores tanked, and she has a “today’s special value” going on, which means you sell during a 24-hour period. I gotta say, the duster sweaters she’s selling are nice. She says her hustle has just begun, and you only get an hour’s sleep on a day like this. She’s happy that Harry is at the point where he no longer has to work, because there were so many years where he took parts just to support the family.

Lisa calls Harry. He wonders why she’s selling sweaters in the middle of summer, but she says she’s halfway to her goal. He admits they’re cool sweaters. Told you. Even Harry thinks so. (#WhatDidHarryDo) She asks if he talked to their daughters who are loose in NYC. He says he texted and tracked them, and they were where they were supposed to be. Like a kid can’t figure out a way around that.

Kyle just got back from the callback session for her show. She calls Mauricio and tells him how surreal it is seeing people playing herself and people she knows. She thought Portia was too young to audition, and it would also be too strange. She’s happy that they’ll be filming close to home, and talks about how difficult it is for her and Mauricio to be in the same place at once lately.

Eileen calls QVC saying she wants a sweater in every color. She nicely plugs the line while she’s on the phone.

Giggy! Harrison! LisaV and Ken visit their dog rescue. The manager thanks her for the donation. In her interview, Lisa explains that they started the foundation, and use both donations and their own money. Lisa wants one of the dogs, and Ken says every animal she sees, she wants. She says well, she did marry him. In her interview, she talks about how Ken made a U-turn in the middle of the highway to rescue a dog when they were first dating, and she knew she was going to marry him. He helps groom one of the dogs. They’re also doing a documentary and entering a resolution into Congress about stopping dog torture. Lisa says her life has gone to the dogs, and wonders how many you need before you look like a crazy person. The manager says she’s the wrong person to ask. So am I.

Dorit gets together with LisaR and Eileen, who go nuts over her shoes. Lisa calls her taste “exotic,” and Eileen is shocked that she just had a baby and looks so good. Dorit tells them about Phoenix’s skull problem, and that she’s officially on the other side of it. They talk about the various traumas their children have put them through.

They discuss Erika inviting them to an escape room experience. Eileen suggests no one drink beforehand. Dorit tells them about Erika’s lack of underwear at the kiki. She says she thought that Erika was wearing nude-colored panties, and then realized how hard her husband was staring. Not that she blames him. She says he told her later that it was uncomfortable, even though he couldn’t look away. In her interview, Lisa thinks Dorit is overreacting, and it would be easy to forget about crossing your legs. Um…I don’t think I’d forget. Lisa thinks they’re misjudging Erika because of her looks, and Eileen doesn’t think she was flashing on purpose. Dorit plans on giving Erika some panties, and Eileen wants to witness that.

Kyle meets Dorit for some shopping in one of those rich people stores that has like five dresses. Dorit tells her about having drinks with Eileen and LisaR. They talk about Erika, and Kyle says she doesn’t think Erika did anything on purpose. Dorit tells Kyle about what PK said. In her interview, Dorit says she thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, and buys a pair of lacy panties for her. Kyle thinks it could go terribly wrong, but wants to be there when it happens. What is up with these women?

Eileen tells Erika that Mal wants her to read, and the writers will come up with something for her.  The girls all meet at the escape room place. Dorit says she’s giving Erika a cheeky gift, since they’ve all seen her pretty little puss. Erika isn’t happy about PK seeing the view, and wonders why he didn’t say something. Well, he doesn’t really know Erika, and it’s up there with telling someone their fly is open. Worse. I’m pretty good with things like that, but not everyone is.

Erika takes the undies in good humor. Dorit says the whole thing took on a life of his own. Erika tells her that the only reason she wasn’t wearing underwear was because of the dress. In her interview, Dorit wonders how you wouldn’t know that you’re flashing someone. Erika tells her the more you talk about sh*t the worse it gets, so be careful. Dorit wonders if that’s a threat. She tells Erika that she didn’t want it to be a thing, and they act friendly. LisaV arrives. Erika tells her about the underwear, and Lisa says she already heard about it.

The host gives them instructions on finding clues, etc. It’s cool, like an old, weird apothecary – their adventure is called “The Alchemist” – but looks complicated like a Survivor challenge. They break into teams. LisaV is with Eileen and Dorit. In her interview, Lisa says that she’s escaping from both the room and Eileen. LisaR thinks she’s going to be trapped forever. It looks like fun, and they do pretty well, making it out of the room. Eileen is proud that she and LisaV teamed together, considering where they were a few months ago.

The ladies go for drinks afterward. They’re very proud of themselves. They talk about Kim’s daughter having a baby. In her interview, Kyle says the baby couldn’t come at a better time for Kim, who’s doing well with her sobriety. Kyle says they’re all starving because they’re not used to using their brains so much. LisaV asks what happened, since she wasn’t there for the delivery of the underwear. Omg, let’s keep beating that dead kitty horse. Lisa is disappointed that there isn’t more to the story. Erika says the only thing she feels badly that PK didn’t say something, and Dorit says what I did. Erika says it’s all good. Dorit tells her that they can always have a chat about it, but Erika thinks there’s nothing else to say. In her interview, Kyle says Erika seems cool, but probably wants to take this bitch down. They order another Margarita round. LisaV asks if they’re done with the conversation, and both Dorit and Erika say, “I am.” Wondering about Dorit though…

Next time, LisaR tells the others about Eileen losing her mother, Erika says someone (Dorit?) takes the fun out of hanging out with women, and the no underwear saga continues. 👙

Ladies of London mention. Caroline #1 thinks that her family should just blindly back her even if she does the worst thing in the world, so she’s very disappointed in Alexis Carrington Sophie. Her husband explains that what Caroline is doing is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die. Julie is worried that because her daughter likes coffee, the second she goes to university in Scotland, she’ll hole up in a coffeehouse and smoke marijuana. Huh? Marissa’s husband wants to move back to the states, but she’s not too keen on it. She says she’s had enough adventure this year to last her a lifetime. Juliet’s hair keeps getting lighter…and so does her brain since she’s been hanging around with Caroline #1. Caroline #1 actually surprises me by being less of an a-hole this week, finally listening to Adela, who’s going through a bitter and stressful time with her ex. Although it looks like she might make up for that next week, when she’s mean to Caroline #2. Who, btw, is writing a new cookbook, and tells a lovely story about how her passion for food came from her mother and grandmother, talking about picking mushrooms and berries in the forest. We also get a look at the estate she’s responsible for running. Sigh…

📻 And the soundtrack tonight was excellent!

December 26, 2016 – It’s Still Christmas Eve in Port Charles & James is Still Fired from PUMP


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Julian tells Alexis that he’s always held on to the hope that they could make a life together again. He tells her that he’s alive because of her, she’s his reason for living and his heartbeat. I gag, but she says she sees him, and they kiss.

Elizabeth has called Scotty to help Franco because she doesn’t want him railroaded by the police.

Jordan is outside talking to someone on the phone about Tom’s murder. There are no witnesses, but they do have a murder weapon. Andre comes along.

Michael offers to give Nell a ride home. He says it’s her Christmas present. Geez, don’t go overboard. They leave, and Sonny tells Carly that she cleared out the place pretty quickly. She says she wanted to be alone with him.

Dante tells Franco that he isn’t under arrest, and Scotty says he wants to keep it that way. Dante says that Franco had a public altercation with Tom, and they want to ask him some questions. He says Tom might have been a degenerate, but he still has to handle the case. Franco says he’s happy to answer any questions and has nothing to hide. Scotty insists on being in the room for any questioning.

Julian tells Alexis that he’s been praying for something like that to happen. Alexis says she didn’t mean it. He tells her that part of her did. She asks which part, so she can have it removed.

Dante talks to Franco about the altercation with Tom at the hospital. He asks if Franco recalls threatening Tom’s life. Franco says yes, but he doesn’t remember exactly what he said. Dante asks Elizabeth if Tom had contacted her, and she says he did, but there wasn’t anything worthy of letting the police know about it. Franco thinks that Tom wanted to bother Elizabeth, and got the job at the hospital to act legitimate. He says he knows nothing about Tom’s death, and an altercation isn’t murder. Dante gets a call and has to leave for a moment.

Scotty tells Franco there’s a Latin phrase that comes to mind – shut up, you dummy. He thanks Elizabeth for having Franco’s back, and leaves to talk to Dante. Elizabeth says the fight Franco and Tom had might not mean anything, but he never finished what it was he wanted to tell her about Tom.

Nell asks Michael if he’d like to come in for tea or hot cocoa, and he says she read his mind. He thanks her for getting the Christmas cookies and talks about going to get them with Morgan when they were kids. Nell says the tribute to Morgan was beautiful, and thanks Michael for including her. He’s surprised she enjoyed it. He says he noticed that when Carly started talking about family, she seemed sad, and asks what that’s about.

Carly says she and Sonny need to talk about something. She says that she knows Sonny and Nell were lying to her, and she knows why. I’ll bet she doesn’t.

Jordan asks Andre what’s up. He says he was at some Kwanza festivities, and explains the holiday to her. He says he sees her eyes glazing over and is afraid he nerded her out. She says no, but she’d like to know what it means to him. He says the seven core principles give him peace of mind and pride. Jordan says it’s been a while since they’ve spoken, and Andre asks her to rectify that right now if she has the time. She says she does.

Julian tells Alexis that he didn’t want this to happen because she was drunk. She insists she isn’t, but we all see how low the level in the bottle is, and it was full when she started. Julian says her drinking is scaring him. She tells him that although she disagrees with his perception, she heard him, and he needs a truth from her.

Carly tells Sonny she knows the gloves were from Nell not him, because he gives jewelry and cars. He says he was afraid that if he gave her something, she’d throw it back at him. He says he can get her something else, but she says she’s happy to just be with him.

Nell tells Michael that she was thinking about her childhood. Christmas was hard. There weren’t many presents because they had difficulty making ends meet. She wished for so many things as a kid, not just big things, but she never got the little ones either. Michael says he’s sorry, but she says it’s not his fault. She says growing up poor and suddenly being surrounded by so much, she gets jealous sometimes.

Franco suggests to Elizabeth that they just get through this first. He apologizes for breaking his promise to stay away from Tom. He says he did something to Tom that seemed like the right thing to protect her. He dances around actually telling her anything, and she asks if he killed Tom.

Andre tells Jordan he’s missed her and she says she’s missed him too. He says he called once, but didn’t leave a message. He realized he wasn’t ready to discuss things yet, but now he’s more than ready. He says the whole thing started because he answered her phone and didn’t tell her Curtis had called, and he never meant to invade her privacy. She says that Curtis was calling about a police matter, and he didn’t give her the message. Andre says he was feeling insecure about the history she and Curtis shared, and he never should have done it. He apologizes and says he’d like to pick up their relationship if she’s willing. She tells him that she accepts his apology, and she’s sorry too. She says she doesn’t want Curtis getting in the way if she and Andre get together again.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he didn’t even know Tom was dead until the police came. He wanted to stop Tom from hurting her, and if Tom missed his parole meeting, he’d go back to prison. Elizabeth asks what he did. He tells her that he got Tom to the studio, drugged him, and put him in a dog crate. He says he was going to let him go after the meeting was missed, but Tom got out and put him in the crate. Elizabeth says he deserved it. He agrees, and says he never saw Tom again after that. Elizabeth tells him it’s wrong on so many levels, and you can’t break the law just because you’re not in agreement with it. He says he wanted to protect the woman he loves. I would have been laughing if my boyfriend said he put a bad guy in a dog crate.

Carly tells Sonny that she didn’t think she could ever be happy again. She knows the anger wasn’t helping and kept her trapped alone with her pain. She says Morgan deserves better; he deserves to be remembered with love and joy. She thinks they did that tonight, and that was her Christmas present. Sonny says him too.

Michael tells Nell that everybody gets jealous, but it’s important not to get stuck there. He says you can miss out on what’s yours if you focus on what others have. He realizes he grew up privileged, but he still felt sorry for himself, and it didn’t get him anywhere. He decided to come up with three things every day to be grateful for, even if they’re small. He says he’s grateful for Josslyn’s health and grateful for Nell. The tea kettle whistles, and Nell accidentally knocks her music box off the table. Michael starts to help her pick it up, but she abruptly tells him no.

Alexis says Julian assumed the alcohol would lower her defenses, and make her nostalgic and kiss him impulsively. She says the kiss was like Duke’s and Carrrlos’s murder; it was premeditated. She tells Julian that because of his narcissism, he thinks she still has feelings for him, but he’s wrong. She wanted him to remember what they had, so she could assure him it will never happen again. I have to admit, that’s a good one.

Franco tells Elizabeth that what he did was twisted, but doesn’t regret the impulse behind it. Dante comes back in and tells them they can go. When he leaves, Scotty tells them that he couldn’t hear much that Dante was saying, but did hear Tom’s name. He instructs them not to talk to the police unless he’s present. Franco says Scotty told him once that a good lawyer doesn’t ask a question he doesn’t want the answer to, and Scotty hasn’t asked if he killed Tom. Scotty says he wants to find out what’s up with the police first, and they’ll talk on the way home. Elizabeth says she’ll drive Franco back.

Nell asks Michael to get the kettle and she’ll clean up. She apologizes for overreacting. She goes to the kitchen to make cocoa, and he eyeballs the music box.

Sonny asks Carly if she wants to come and watch Avery open presents on Christmas. She says she can’t think of anything better. He says he’d like to think that maybe she came for Christmas Eve just a little for him.

Andre tells Jordan that he never planned on not seeing her over the holidays, so he got her a gift. She says she got something for him too, since she thought they’d figure a way to make it work. He says there’s still enough of a holiday season left for them to share. They kiss.

Julian tells Alexis that they both know why she kissed him. It was a poor decision because she’s drunk. She tosses his pill bottles on the couch, and tells him to be secure in the knowledge that she’ll be an excellent nurse, because she wants him out of her house and her life.

Dante brings in the murder weapon. It’s the knife that Tom took from Franco’s studio. No huge surprise there.

Michael and Nell sip cocoa. She wonders if he’s going to ask what’s in the box. He says he thought that if she wanted to, she’d tell him. She explains that it’s a Christmas present from when she was young. She only has a few things from her childhood and they’re all in the box. Not all of them are happy memories, but she keeps them. He says it would be disrespectful to get rid of them. She says she never thought about it that way, but he’s right. She should never forget where she came from.

Carly gets ready to leave. Sonny says he doesn’t want to pressure her, but wants to know if there’s a chance they can find their way back to each other.

Andre tells Jordan it’s been a pretty wonderful Kwanza, Charlie Brown.

Alexis tells Julian they’re done here, and goes upstairs.

Carly tells Sonny that she doesn’t know how she’ll feel tomorrow, but tonight she was exactly where she wanted to be. They don’t kiss.

Nell tells Michael that she thinks she underestimated how tired she was. Michael says he’s got to get going anyway, and thanks her for the cocoa. He leaves and she heaves a huge sigh. She takes a baby rattle out of the box. It has the name Caroline on it.

Scotty is going to hang around and see if he can get something out of Dante. Elizabeth dashes out the door and Franco chases after her. Outside, she tells him that they both know that the knife is the kind that artists use. And he’s an artist.

Tomorrow, Lulu wants to get Charlotte away from Valentine, Jason tells Sam that he and Curtis don’t think Julian is behind the bombing, and Winston tells the boss that Julian needs to learn about consequences.

Vanderpump Rules

Katie’s mom and grandma are helping to fold the tea towel wedding invitations. Kristen and Stassi join them. In her interview, Stassi thinks $18.50 for “a rag” is a bit much, but I actually think it’s a cute and clever idea. Schwartz leaves for a suit fitting.

Peter has texted Kristen about Lala’s infamous Range Rover. Grandma says it’s $750 a month to rent. Some remarks are made about whatever Lala’s arrangement is.

Moving on. Stassi talks about the trip to Montauk. She claims they’ll get the full experience in one weekend. In her interview, Kristen wonders how many Hamptons there are since it’s plural. Stassi says Scheana’s decision about coming with them or not is far reaching, and she’s definitely not exhibiting bridesmaid behavior. Whatever that is. I’ve always been a bride, but never a bridesmaid.

Shay complains to Scheana about making the bed, since it just gets messed up again. Scheana tells Shay about trying to have a conversation with the girls while they were drunk and she was sober. Shay tells her that it seems like Stassi tries to control everyone. In her interview, Scheana says she could do everything right and they’d still find fault with it. Shay suggests she just ignore them and they’ll see how much they miss and need her. I have to disagree about that being good plan. He tells Scheana that they’re a pack of bullies.

James has a new DJ gig. Ariana, Tom, and Lala show up for support. Lala thinks this place is way better than PUMP, and she’s proud of James. Both things are questionable. The club isn’t nearly as upscale as PUMP, even though James tells us it’s between the Whiskey A-GO-GO and the Roxy, and we also see James slugging back cough syrup. Lala is excited to be going on Ariana’s birthday trip. We flash back to last year when she wasn’t invited. She isn’t thrilled that Jax is going, but she’s committed to having a good time.

In her interview, Kristen says her relationship with Jax is complicated. They’re like a stepbrother and sister who have slept together a couple of times. Eww! Jax has some cysts in his chest that were the result of taking “supplements.” Although he’s not going to do anything rash like stop taking them. I have the feeling the “supplements” he’s talking about are called steroids. This dude is such an idiot, I’m amazed he’s lived this long. He and Kristen go to the gym for a boxing workout class.

After the class, Jax asks Kristen about Carter. She says the one difficulty is him having to be away periodically for work. Jax is glad she finally has normal relationship problems. They talk about Ariana’s upcoming birthday.

Katie picks up Lisa’s summer car and gives her the first wedding invitation. In her interview, Lisa says that they’re a bit Bohemian and unique, although not her style, and we flash back to Pandora’s elaborate invites. Katie talks to Lisa about Scheana being ridiculous. Lisa says she got the impression that Katie had gotten drunk and sent her an aggressive text. Lisa brings up Stassi, saying she makes everything worse instead of better, and is very controlling. Katie feels that she can think for herself and that Lisa is being insulting.

Brittany accompanies Jax to the doctor. He tells her that he’s nervous, and she tells him not to worry and that she’ll take care of him. The doctor comes to get him. He’s hoping to get everything, so there doesn’t have to be a repeat performance surgery. They remove what the doctor describes as a hard disk of breast tissue. He believes it’s benign, but is sending it to pathology to be on the safe side.

The surgery is successful. The doctor tells Jax no drinking for now, and Jax wonders how he’s going to survive going to NASCAR and wine country.

Lisa goes into SUR and notices the red bottoms on Lala’s ankle boots. In her interview, Lisa says either Lala is blowing her rent money on shoes or something else is going on. Lala tells Lisa about the birthday trip. She wonders how she’s going to share one bathroom with everyone else. In her interview, Lisa says that Lala loves to create situations and then play the baby girl, and life doesn’t work like that. She gives Lala the sage advice not to take her top off at NASCAR.

James and Raquel go out to lunch. In his interview, James says they have a lot in common. Like eating food. I’m not kidding. That’s what he said. Raquel talks about a beauty contest she has coming up and stresses about walking in a bathing suit and heels. Beautiful people problems. She asks if he got his job back at PUMP, and he says he’s talking to Lisa tomorrow. He tells Raquel that leaving there was like leaving his family. He says if Lisa turns him down, he’s going to keep asking every month.

Jax gets home and Brittany tucks him in on the couch. She explains that his chest is going to be concave until the swelling goes down, and he freaks a little. In her interview, she says he’s needy and grumpy, and constantly asking for food, pretty much like he always is. Schwartz comes by with Tom, bearing gifts of a Hooters T-shirt and a service bell. I’m sure Brittany is ecstatic about the bell. Jax asks if Scheana has decided about the trip. Schwartz says he has no clue, but his main job is just keeping Katie calm.

Stassi’s mother and eleven-year-old brother visit her. Her mother complains about there not being any central air when she’s going through menopause. A girl calls through FaceTime on her brother’s tablet, and Stassi answers it even though he begs her not to. She teases him, but then tells him he can take it in the bedroom. In her interview, she says that she and her brother are very close, which is pretty obvious.

Stassi and her mother discuss the pattern of Stassi and Patrick breaking up and making up. In her interview, Stassi says this time it seems serious and real. She tells her mom about Scheana fighting with the girls, and says she hasn’t spoken with her since.

Scheana and her mother go for mani-pedis. Her mom asks if she’s spoken to the girls. Scheana says she woke up wishing it was just a bad dream. Her mom says that she saw Stassi crying in the bathroom and Scheana doesn’t understand how things get so blown out of proportion. Her mother asks if she thinks Katie will be mad enough to drop her as a bridesmaid, and tells Scheana to fix it soon. Scheana says the Montauk trip is giving her anxiety.

Stassi asks her brother for advice. He asks who started the fight and how much they had to drink, her in particular. Ha-ha! She tells him what Scheana was saying to Katie, and he tells her that her problem is getting in other people’s business. Stassi says sometimes people don’t know when they should apologize, and he says Scheana has to figure that out for herself and Stassi isn’t the boss of everyone. This kid is quite savvy. In her interview, Stassi says she’s not going to listen to an eleven-year-old. I’m not sure why, since he’s apparently more mature than she is.

It’s Ariana’s birthday, so she’s put on her tiara. We flash back to last year when Tom ditched her birthday for Las Vegas, and he says this year he’s planned the birthday trip of a lifetime for her. Lala and James arrive. Is James’s shirt distressed or is he just a slob? In his interview, James says it’s the second year he hasn’t been invited to Ariana’s birthday. He understood last year, but says this time it’s because of Jax. Lala asks if Jax has any problem with her, but Ariana says no. James tries to worm his way into being invited, but Ariana stands firm. She doesn’t want any arguing on the trip. Good luck with that, even without James.

James goes to see Lisa at SUR. When she sees him, she goes ugh! and I laugh. He tells her he misses working there and blah-blah-blah. He curses and she tells him it’s disrespectful. She says she thinks she did him a favor by letting him go. In his interview, James thinks he’s the king of everything and the best DJ in the world. Lisa tells him that he acted like an arrogant little punk and she doesn’t employ arrogant little punks. He says Jax works for her, and she says he doesn’t act out at work. James begs to differ, and Lisa is like, nice, you drop an F-bomb and then call me a liar. She tells him her life is better without him. He keeps yammering on, saying he’s sober now, and Lisa tells him maybe he should investigate another career path. She tells him time is money and asks if they’re done. In her interview, she says you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, and James is gone.

The friends gather at the airport to fly to San Francisco. Lala isn’t there. Both Ariana and Tom have texted her, but Ariana only got a question mark and exclamation point as a reply. In her interview, Ariana wonders if Lala is standing them up. Tom tries to FaceTime her. They board the plane. Still no Lala. Tom says he’ll be pissed if anyone messes up the trip and it’s not looking good for Lala showing up.

Next time, the Montauk trip, the NASCAR trip, and no one can find Lala.

December 23, 2016 – Christmas Eve in Port Charles & Wishing You Happy Holidays


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

It’s snowing in Port Charles! Apparently, PC has its own weather bubble, since it’s snowing nowhere near where it’s supposed to be IRL. Anna and Emma enjoy the snow. They talk about family.

Charlotte hangs her stocking. Nina has presents for her, and asks Valentin if she can open one tonight. Valentin thanks Nina for joining them. He tells her about Lulu wanting to sue for full custody.

Lulu tells Dante she shouldn’t have said anything to Valentin, but he says Charlotte will be with them soon. Man, these two are pretty self-righteous. I understand Valentin is a bad guy, but come on. Charlotte obviously loves her father and vice versa.

Elizabeth asks Franco what’s wrong. He says he’d like to talk, but it can wait. Tonight is supposed to be a special night. She says just tell her, and then they can have a magical Christmas Eve. He says it’s not going to be such an enchanting Christmas after she hears what he has to say. It’s about Tom. She says she already knows.

Sam talks to Jason about Sonny’s family being without Morgan this year. He suggests they visit Alexis.

Julian tells Alexis that nobody important was on the phone. She puts some of the ice from his ice pack into a glass and adds vodka. She asks what it is he’s doing for the sake of his children. He says all he can tell her is that there are some things she doesn’t know. Well, that’s stupid. If she knew, she wouldn’t be asking.

Michael takes out the stockings at Sonny’s. He sees Morgan’s and talks about missing him. Sonny hangs it anyway, because Morgan is still with them in spirit. Carly comes in with Avery.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Tom’s parole officer called her as a courtesy. She says no one has seen or heard from Tom, and she was told to take extra precautions, so Franco will have to spend the night now. She basically says if he does, they’ll be sleeping together. The kids come out in elf hats with pointy ears, and Franco says he doesn’t know whether to be joyful or fearful. Jake shows Franco a stocking he made for him.

Nina has given Charlotte some kind of kit to design things. I think jewelry, but I can’t get a good look. Nina talks to Valentin on the side, asking what he’s going to do. He says he has a plan and could use her help.

Emma worries about Charlotte not having a mommy to spend Christmas with. Anna says her father is making a nice Christmas for her. Emma wants to go to Windemere, but Anna says she’s not fooling anybody and they’re not spying today. Everyone gets a collective text from Valentin, inviting them to Windemere. Anna tells Emma that they’ll go if she promises not to snoop.

Julian tells Alexis if he had it to do over again, he would have never called a hit on Duke. There’s a knock at the door. Alexis says she’s not expecting anyone, and the girls will never forgive her if they find out he’s living there.

Sam tells Jason that her mom was clear on wanting time alone. Okay, it’s not them at the door.

Sonny acts like a silly dad, telling Avery about Santa. While the kids look at the tree, Carly and Sonny wish each other a merry Christmas, and he says it looks like it might actually be one. Nope. Nell comes in with some packages, saying she hopes she got everything.

Franco takes the kids to the art therapy room to give out presents. Elizabeth tells Monica about Tom skipping his parole visit. She adds that Franco is spending the night. Monica says most people wouldn’t equate Franco with safety, but she sees how well he does with the kids and how much Elizabeth cares about him.

Nell tells Sonny that Carly wouldn’t take no for an answer, but she won’t suspect anything if no one says anything. Kristina pops into the conversation, saying, suspect what? and Nell says Sonny has a surprise for Carly. Carly shows Sonny some conch shell that’s sentimental. Jason and Sam show up.

Julian had a Christmas tree delivered. He tells Alexis that he knows the situation isn’t ideal. Alexis says you try living with someone who tried to kill you. He asks if she’ll decorate the tree with him. He says maybe they can even find a little joy. Alexis talks about never being happier last Christmas when she trusted him. He says he loves her and always will, and she chugs her drink in reply. He says they do have good memories. It was almost a year ago that he asked her to marry him.

Anna gets to Windemere in record time. She asks Valentin about the story he told her regarding the Russian teacher. She says she’s the one it happened to, not him. She wants to know if he knows her from the WSB. Dante and Lulu arrive with Rocco and Laura. Dante asks what this is all about, and Valentin says Christmas and family. Lulu sees Charlotte hugging Nina and saying she’s glad that Nina is coming for Christmas.

Carly says she knows that Sam knows if the baby is a boy or girl and won’t tell her, so she’s going to pout about it. Michael gives Carly a present. It’s a picture of Morgan dressed as the Little Drummer Boy. They talk about that Christmas. Kristina says before they sink into the maudlin swamp, maybe Sonny wants to show Carly the surprise he has for her. D’oh!

Lulu asks if Charlotte remembers them, like it wasn’t just yesterday they were together, and Charlotte thanks them for coming. Dante gives her a present. Laura says she can see so much of Lulu in Charlotte. The gift is the same thing Nina gave her, and she gives it to Emma. Dante tells Lulu that it will get easier. Laura is teary and says she has to go. Nina tells Lulu she understands how Lulu feels, but she should rethink the idea of full custody. Lulu says, coming from someone who literally stole a baby out of the womb. Ouch. Nina tells her merry Christmas, and tells Valentin she’ll help him.

Emma asks Charlotte if her dad ever talks about an Anna, but she says no.

Anna tells Valentin there’s no mention of him or a Theo at the WSB.

Carly gives Nell a gift. It’s a three-heart necklace. Carly says it’s her, Nell and Josslyn, since they’ll be connected forever. Nell is speechless. Carly says she’ll take Sonny’s gift now, and he says Kristina jumped the gun. Nell says she shopped for Sonny since he couldn’t leave the house, and gives Carly a pair of gloves.

Sam asks Jason if he’s okay. He says it’s a tough night and they’ll just have to get through it. Sonny asks Nell if the gift was really from her, and she says yes. He says he doesn’t like lies upon lies, and she tells him that it proves she’s on his side. Carly wonders what’s up with the two of them.

Franco gives Jake a gift certificate for the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. Jake asks when they can go, but Franco says he has something to tell her mother that she’s not going to like.

Anna goofs around, looking at Valentin with a magnifying glass. He asks her why she’s so obsessed with the truth. Dante needs to leave on police business, but Lulu wants to stay. She says Anna is there, and Valentin won’t pull anything.

Alexis says not bad for a tree she didn’t want. Did Julian decorate that by himself? Not bad for a guy who can’t move around too well. The vodka bottle is almost empty, and I’m wondering how she can even be standing and talking. Julian gives her a gift. He says it’s a little past it’s “use by” date. It’s a Christmas tree pin with their wedding picture in it. Alexis wonders how they got here, and tells him the wreckage is all his fault, handing him back the box. He says he’s sorry, and she says she wishes it mattered. He says after she hit him in the parking lot, he felt himself getting cold and things getting dark. He could sense himself letting go, but heard her voice calling him back. She says she was afraid he was going to die. He says that’s why he’s alive, and to tell him that it matters.

Franco takes Elizabeth aside. He says he’s going to tell her the truth.

Carly asks Jason why Sonny and Nell are putting their heads together. Sam tells Jason that Monica is expecting them. Jason pulls Sonny away and tells him they’re getting closer to exonerating him. He’s hoping that he and Carly can start healing.

Sonny tells Carly that just a few weeks ago, it seemed impossible that she’d be here. She gathers the family to honor Morgan. She tells Nell she’s been a gift to the family since they lost Morgan, and wants her to join them. They hold hands around a candle and the picture. She thanks Michael for choosing to comfort his family over his grieving.

Just as Franco is about to tell Elizabeth about Tom, Jason and Sam show up with Danny. Monica asks them to just let it go tonight for Elizabeth’s sake, meaning their animosity toward Franco.

Oh crap, at the hospital, everyone gathers for the Christmas story and this always makes me cry, because I think of Steve Hardy and Alan. Monica says that this year, she wants them to consider what Christmas is about. She says even if your naughty, Christmas gives us the grace to forgive, open our hearts, and hope for a brighter tomorrow, even if there has been recent darkness.

Lulu thanks Valentin for inviting him, but says it doesn’t change anything and this is the last Christmas she’s waking up without her daughter. Charlotte thanks Nina, and Nina thanks the both of them for making this the best Christmas she’s ever had.

Outside, Emma tells Anna she has a bonus gift for her. She hands Anna the picture of her younger self that Valentin had. I can’t wait to hear how she got her hands on that.

Sonny’s family continues to talk about Morgan. Carly says somehow, somewhere, he knows they love him, and he’s here with them. She says he’s lighting the way for Santa and the angels to find them, and give them strength and faith. She says they still have each other, and their hope and love.

Monica tells everyone that as well as evil, there are also angels, but they’re unpredictable. She says Christmas is about letting in special grace and finding goodness in others and ourselves, and trying to make this a better world. Sam and Jason smile at each other.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he did something to Tom. Dante comes into the hospital with an officer. Tom was found stabbed to death. So much for his part.

Alexis asks Julian if he’s in there. He says he’s alive because of her. She’s his breath and heartbeat and life. She says she sees him. They kiss. Oh…mo.

On Monday, Carly knows Sonny and Nell are lying, Andre sees Jordan, and Elizabeth asks Franco if he killed Tom.

See you on Monday!





December 22, 2016 – Movers & Shakers in Port Charles & a Few Christmas Quotes


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Ava can’t believe that Julian is moving in with Alexis. When she said Alexis shouldn’t be here, she didn’t mean he should go there. Ava says Alexis is a hopeless drunk and can’t take care of him. Julian says she’s a drunk because of him. Pretty astute for Julian.

To prove their point, Alexis is throwing them back. The best part of waking up is vodka in your cup. Kristina comes down looking for a sweater. She asks if Alexis is sick and Alexis says she thinks she’s coming down with something. Yeah, an eventual hangover. Kristina says she knows what’s really wrong.

Kiki runs into Dillon while she’s picking up breakfast at Kelly’s. She wants to talk to him about what happened at Crimson.

Franco pounds at the bars of the cage, wishing that this was part of the dream. Elizabeth calls, but he can’t reach his phone.

Finn tells Hayden that if she wakes up now, he’ll give her a present early. Tracy comes into Hayden’s room with a cactus, saying Hayden left her plant with Dillon and he managed to get a cashmere sock…but we never hear the rest because she asks how Hayden is doing. Inquiring minds want to know.

Franco tries to move the cage closer to the phone. This actually looks like it’s possible, since it moves pretty easily. Elizabeth leaves a message about their plans for the evening. Naomi runs into the hospital looking for Hayden.

Finn says Hayden’s temperature is back up to 101.3. He wants Hayden to wake up to a tree. Tracy asks if he thinks Hayden is going to wake up at all. Naomi comes in and asks if her daughter is dying.

Kiki apologizes to Dillon for slapping him, and Dillon apologizes for what he said about Morgan. He says he should have respected her feelings. She says she thought he was manipulating her, but realized that he really cares, and that’s why he asked Nina to offer the position to her. He tells her merry Christmas, the subtext being, bye Felicia.

Molly says Alexis isn’t that hard to read, and she’s having empty nest syndrome. Kristina says she doesn’t have to leave right now. Alexis says she’s fine, but the holidays are going to be hard on Kristina’s father and he’s going to need her. She says she needs this time to get ready for the bar association hearing anyway. Alexis says if Kristina leaves anything, she’ll have an excuse to come over. Kristina says if she didn’t know any better, she’d think Alexis was trying to get rid of her.

Ava asks Julian if the addict doesn’t need to take responsibility for what they’ve done. Julian says that Alexis would never be in this position if it wasn’t for him and believing he’d changed. He says she made him believe he was worthy of stability, family and love, and he repaid her by dragging her into the gutter with him. He promised her a better life, and there’s still a chance to do that. Ava wonders if it’s the meds talking or he’s delusional. He says the love they shared doesn’t just disappear. Ava says how can he help her when he tried to kill her, but he tells Ava that he would have never gone through with it. He could have fooled me, and probably the rest of the GH viewers.

Tracy asks Naomi if she isn’t supposed to be in prison. Naomi says they weren’t that interested in her after finding out about the diamonds, and her attorneys cut a deal. She asks what’s wrong with Hayden, and Finn says she was exposed to some rare bacteria. He explains that he’s been using a drug that keeps the symptoms at bay, but her organs are experiencing failure. He tells Naomi that he’s made a serum from lizard DNA that he thinks might be a cure, and he just administered it.

Franco gets out of the cage when I look away for a millisecond. He calls Elizabeth. He asks if she’s all right, and she says she just left him a message. He says he’s been really busy, but saw she called and figured he’d just call her back. She says the boys are looking forward to tonight, and asks if they’re still on. He says Christmas is his favorite holiday. After he hangs up, Franco says that he’s going to see Tom first. He calls Tom’s parole officer, saying he’s from Uber, checking to make sure if Tom had alternate transportation since he wasn’t there for the pick-up. The officer says he never showed, and Franco tells him that the trip still has to be paid for.

Ava asks Julian if he wants her to tell him how moving in with Alexis is going to work out. She says whatever the two of them shared, it’s past the point of no return. Alexis doesn’t love him. She’s tried over and over to destroy him, and Ava doesn’t want him hurt again. Julian says he can’t live with the way things are right now. Ava says she can’t be part of it, and tells him good luck; he’s going to need it.

Alexis says she can’t wait to see Kristina’s new place, but this is her home and she’ll always be welcome there, and even if she’s not living there, Alexis is still her mom. Kristina says she feels like she’s abandoning Alexis, and Alexis says she’s living her life like she’s supposed to, and moving in to her first apartment is a great accomplishment. Alexis tells Kristina that she can use the peace and quiet, but Sonny will need her.

Valerie approaches Dillon at Kelly’s, and he asks her to sit down with him. He tells her that the night they spent together was the best night he’s had in a while. Kiki overhears and gets all teary outside, because she wants it both ways. Dillon tells Valerie that he’s happy when he sees Kiki, and then remembers she thinks he’s a jerk He says she thinks he’s a stalker, and they can’t even talk to one another. He believes the best thing to do is give up.

Alexis wonders what she did last night. The doorbell rings. It’s Julian. He says, honey, I’m home.

Franco calls Kiki. He asks if she’s all right. She says she’s fine, but he says she doesn’t sound fine. She tells him that she’s just being stupid and emotional. He says he’s just checking in and wishing her a merry Christmas. He asks if she’s going to be with her mom, and she says she’s on her way. She asks if he’s spending Christmas with Elizabeth and the kids, and Franco tells her that he has something to do first.

Naomi asks if Finn is some kind of quack. She says she’s calling security, and Tracy says the only one they’ll remove is her. Tracy explains how Finn worked around the clock to make the serum and needs it himself, but gave it to Hayden. Naomi threatens to call anyone and everyone to keep Finn away from Hayden, which seems really stupid after what Tracy just said. Hayden wakes up and says Finn can’t leave. He says he’s not going anywhere.

Kiki arrives at Ava’s, bearing breakfast. Ava suggests exchanging gifts after they eat. Kiki says she might come tomorrow too. Ava says that would be great since she doesn’t have Avery. She tells Kiki that she also planned a trip to the city to see her mother, but Kiki says she wouldn’t be the best company. She’s bummed because she keeps running into Dillon.

Franco visits Heather. She tells him that she doesn’t know what Elizabeth told him, but she wasn’t anything except cordial. He asks if she talked to Elizabeth, and Heather wonders why Elizabeth didn’t tell him. He says he’s been locked in a dog crate.

Finn asks Hayden how she’s feeling, and she says not too bad, considering. He tells her that her vitals have stabilized and her organs aren’t failing anymore. Naomi says she was going to wait until Christmas to surprise her, but she got the surprise when Elizabeth called to tell her Hayden was so ill. Elizabeth pretends she has something to do, but Hayden thanks her before she leaves.

Heather thinks Franco did what he needed to do, and is embracing his true inner self. He tells her he doesn’t know where Tom is, and no one knows who he might target next. Doesn’t he still have that GPS thing on Tom’s phone?

Julian brings his stuff to Alexis’s house. Alexis says she’ll fix up the couch. Julian says he doesn’t want her to go to any trouble, and she says isn’t that why he’s here? He says he wants to help her, and she suggests he leave then. She makes sure he knows he’s sleeping on the couch and he makes an inappropriate joke. She says if the ethics board finds out he’s there, she’ll be in trouble. He tells her that he’s innocent in the eyes of the law. She says she wants her license and life back, the life she had before he destroyed it. She tells him that no one can come in the house except the two of them until he’s out of there. She asks how long he’s staying, and he says until the healing is done. Hmm… I’m not so sure he only means his physical healing.

Ava asks Kiki why it’s so bad to run into Dillon. Kiki says ever since Morgan died, she’s been a mess, and Dillon has gotten caught in her mood swings. She tells Ava that she wanted to apologize, but Dillon couldn’t get away from her fast enough. Now he’s with Valerie. She can’t expect him not to move on, but it’s tough.

Dillon tells Valerie that his and Kiki’s relationship will never be what he wants it to be. Valerie says even though she broke up with Curtis, it’s hard to see him around town. She says they always seem to be involved with people they can’t have.

Heather says maybe Franco convinced Tom to leave town. Franco says he feels like a changed man, and wants to show the world. Heather cautions him not to tell Elizabeth what he did. She says Elizabeth is never going to be good enough for him. Franco says she always reminds him why she’s there. Heather says she speaks the truth, and being true to one’s self can often be costly. He says Elizabeth believes in him, and knows he can be better. Heather says it’s not going to last when she finds out. She’ll think he’s no better than her rapist.

Finn tells Hayden that the serum worked, and she’s going to be okay. Naomi says she was afraid she’d lost Hayden. Tracy says Finn just found a cure for an incurable disease, and Naomi apologizes. He says thanks and get out; Hayden needs her rest. Naomi leaves, and Tracy tells Finn it worked for Hayden, now what about him? Finn and Hayden smile at one another.

Julian asks Alexis for an ice pack. Ha-ha! I almost typed ice pick. While Alexis goes to the kitchen, Julian’s phone rings. He talks about Rodge convincing him to drop the van thing. He says he’s done everything he’s been asked, but the only reason he’s doing it is for the sake of his children.

Kiki tells Ava that she’s not in the holiday spirit, but Ava doesn’t want to leave her alone. She says Grandma Delia would be disappointed not to see her. Kiki’s not budging, and Ava says okay, but Kiki would probably feel better away from Port Charles.

Dillon thanks Valerie for listening.

Kiki talks to herself, saying she doesn’t just want to sit around and mope. She sends Dillon a text, and he says, now that’s an idea. He knows what he’s going to do.

Finn tells Hayden that he brought her something, and shows her the cactus with decorations on it. She says, Best. Christmas. Ever. and he says, maybe. He tells her that she was cured from an incurable disease, brought Tracy to tears, made a truce with her sister, and her mom is out of prison. He says they’re stuck with each other.

Franco goes to the hospital and tells Elizabeth that he needs to talk to her.

Alexis overhears some of the conversation, and asks Julian who he was talking to.

Tomorrow, Christmas at Sonny’s, Emma might get her Christmas wish, and Valentin invites the family to Windemere.

🕯 A few quotes from A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens to get you in the Christmas spirit…

“If I could work my will,” said Scrooge indignantly, “every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!”

“A merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us!” Which all the [Cratchit] family re-echoed. “God bless us, every one!” said Tiny Tim, the last of all.

Scrooge was better than his word . . . . He became as good a friend, as good a master, as good a man as the good old City knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough in the good old world.

December 21, 2016 – Is It a Boy or Girl for Sam & is Star Worth Gazing At?


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Maxie puts the final touches on Sam’s shower. When Sam cuts the cake, the color will tell everyone what sex the baby is. Monica doesn’t think it’s her kind of thing, and Sam enters wondering what on earth is going on.

Sonny asks Jason if he’s found anything. Jason says he needs Sonny’s help.

Julian rings a bell and Alexis tells him don’t do that again. He does it again, and I laugh. She tells him everything that’s been done, and says that Ava can put the clothes in the dryer when she comes back from committing whatever crime she’s committing. Julian supposes that Alexis is running off to happy hour.

Elizabeth visits Heather and asks for her help. She wants to find Naomi. Heather says if Naomi owes her money, she’ll have to get in line. She asks If Elizabeth tried the penitentiary, but her sentence was commuted. Elizabeth tells Heather that Hayden is very sick, but Heather says she can’t help. Elizabeth starts to leave, but Heather wants her to talk about what’s going on with her and Franco.

Tom tells Franco every dog has his day, and this day is his. He locks Franco in the cage, and suggests he’ll be paying a visit to someone. He says he’ll be back to tell Franco all about it. He picks up a pocketknife before he leaves. I guess he really does want to go back to prison.

Carly asks Sam how she likes the baby shower and Sam says it’s more than she could have imagined.

Alexis tells Julian that she has to go to the baby shower. Julian wants to send his regards, but Alexis says she’s not taking pictures or giving messages or telling him anything. She says she has other demands on her life and won’t be back tonight. He asks what if he falls or something, and she says Ava probably has some duct tape lying around and can fix it. He tells her don’t be late.

Sam asks if Carly is okay. Carly says no, but she’s trying.

Jason tells Sonny that he’s following the money trail to a Chinese connection. Sonny says there were Chinese gangs at one time in Port Charles, but it was before he took over. Sonny wants to know what Jason knows. He says he’s starting to feel like Jason doesn’t trust him. Jason says he doesn’t, at least not with this right now.

Elizabeth tells Heather that she’s not discussing her relationship with Franco behind his back. Heather asks what if he’s already discussed it with her, and Elizabeth says that would be understandable, since she’s his mother. Heather says she’s a sensible girl and she likes that, but Elizabeth should stay on her good side.

Franco wakes up in the cage. He yells for Tom, but Tom is long gone. He hears someone come in.  It’s Sam, who says it looks like she finally has him where she wants him. Obviously, it’s not really Sam, and this is some kind of delusion.

In reality, Carly tells Sam that it hits her out of the blue, like when she smells Morgan’s favorite food. I can understand this, having wept over a can of tiny shrimp in the grocery store once. Sam says it can hit like a tsunami, but Carly doesn’t have to go it alone. She has her and Jason, and Sonny. She says Carly can trust Sonny with her pain. Carly says she knows. Alexis arrives, and Carly and Sam go into the party.

Sonny says his son was just murdered and Jason is holding back information. He wants to know if Jason has found out anything about Morgan. Jason says he didn’t just promise Sonny, he promised Carly, but he’s not saying anything that’s going to blow this to hell.

Pawn shop guy Rodge enters Julian’s apartment. He has a get-well gift. He says the boss is sympathetic to his condition, but that doesn’t exclude him from his obligations. He’s a vital part of the boss’s plans.

Sam opens gifts. Monica gives her Alan’s baby spoon. I have makeup on because I’m going out, and tell myself not to cry. Alexis and the girls give her a rocking motorcycle. Kristina tells them she got her own place, and she bets Alexis will be glad she’s not hogging the shower. I bet Alexis will be glad for drinking privacy. The unwrapping continues. It’s time for the cake. The icing on the top says, he or she, open to see. Maxie says, surprise!

Julian tells Rodge that he’s aware of his responsibilities and won’t shirk them. Does anyone really use that word? He says he spoke with the police commissioner and tells Rodge about the van. He says someone could infer that he planted a bomb in his own car.

Jason tells Sonny that everything he does is to protect him. Sonny says he needs Jason to tell him what he knows. Jason says Julian may have bombed his own car.

Franco talks to Mirage Sam, telling her what happened. She asks what the magic word is. Franco says, please, but she tells him it’s 1305. That’s how long it was that she thought he had raped her. She asks if she’s even supposed to believe him that nothing happened. She says he kept her husband prisoner, and that’s at least how long he should sit there. Franco says he knows sorry isn’t enough.  Sam says she hasn’t seen any proof of regret, but tonight he’ll learn what it means to be sorry. She says that Tom is on the prowl, looking for payback. He’s looking for someone to rape, because that’s what he does. She tells Franco that he set it in motion, and this is what it costs, and leaves.

Elizabeth appears. She says Sam is right. He set it in motion, but he can stop it.

Maxie explains the cake, but Sam says she told her they didn’t want to know yet. She realizes Maxie stole the note from the doctor. Carly tells Sam that Jason used to tell her to take breath and count to ten. She chastises Maxie for interfering with Sam’s experience. Maxie says she got carried away. Sam says she forgives her, provided she doesn’t cut the cake.

Rodge tells Julian that they know who bombed his car, and Julian says Sonny. Rodge says what kind of kingpin would Sonny be if he let him walk? Julian says he does have other enemies, and it’s possible it was someone else. Rodge says that Julian is unlikeable, but if he has another theory, the boss would love to hear it. He steps on Julian’s foot accidentally on purpose.

Jason explains about the van to Sonny, and how it belongs to Julian’s company. Sonny thinks Julian set it up to frame him. Jason says that what he thought at first, but it doesn’t make sense that Julian would have left evidence behind. Sonny wants to kill Julian.

Elizabeth tells Heather that she’ll be fine without her approval. Heather tells her not to toy with her boy’s heart. Elizabeth says she has no intention of that, but she can keep her threats. Heather says she wasn’t talking about herself.

Franco tells Not-Really-There Elizabeth that no matter how he tries to change, he’ll always be the person who did those terrible things. Elizabeth says what about the good he’s done? There’s goodness and also darkness; she prayed it was gone. She asks how this happened. Franco says he wanted to protect her, and she says to find another way. She believes he’s stronger than the darkness inside him.

Franco says the darkness isn’t inside him; it is him. Pure darkness is all he’ll ever be.

Real Elizabeth tells Heather that Franco would never hurt her, and Heather says, famous last words. She says wait until the real Franco comes out. And she’d better be prepared for the homecoming.

Doppelganger Franco shows up and Franco tells him that he got rid of him. Dark Franco says he’s the real him and asks if he’s ready to get back to work. Franco says he was sick and doesn’t do that stuff anymore. Dark Franco asks how he explains everything he’s done since, and what he did to Tom. Franco says he made a mistake; he’s not evil. Dark Franco says he’s wrong about that. He knows the future and he’s not as bad as people think – he’s worse.

Julian tells Rodge that he’s been over-thinking things with all the time he has, and it’s Sonny. Rodge tells him to concentrate on recuperating.

Sam says odds are the baby will be a boy or a girl. Alexis gathers the girls and they leave. Molly asks her what she’s going to do with all the time, now that Kristina will be moving out. Why, drink, of course!

Rodge wants to know if Julian has someone looking after him, and Julian says Ava is doing it. Rodge says the boss would like to offer assistance, but Julian says he’ll let him know if he needs help. Rodge says he won’t have to; they’ll know.

Carly thanks Sam for including her, and says sorry she didn’t bring a gift. Sam says the best gift Carly can give her is to be good to herself, and that she and Sonny are good to each other.

Jason tells Sonny that if he wants to kill Julian, go ahead, but he’ll lose everything. They’ll take the kids and Carly will leave. Jason says Sonny needs to wait to find out for sure. Jason needs to prove it. Then they’ll have a conversation about what to do about Julian. Sonny asks how long. Jason says as long as it takes.

Heather tells Elizabeth that she accepts her son for who he is. Elizabeth says the fact that he visits her proves he has a good heart. She believes he can change, and he’s started to believe it himself.

Dark Franco tells Franco that he got sloppy. Franco says that he’s not all bad, and he’s getting better. He says Dark Franco wants to stop him because he’s afraid he’ll be killed. Dark Franco says Franco could have done it long ago, but didn’t want to. He’s the truest part of him. Dark Franco bangs on the cage, and disappears. Franco yells for help.

Alexis goes back to Julian’s and says he’s still alive, her job is done. He asks how the party was. She says she has stuff to do other than catch him up. Kristina is leaving, giving her an empty nest and a wet bar. Julian says he’s moving back in.

The shower breaks up and Jason meets Sam. He tells her that he was visiting Sonny. Sam is glad Jason can be there for Sonny. Jason is hoping that his message got through.

Sonny’s phone rings. It’s Carly. She says she was just checking in. She was thinking about Christmas and talks about gingerbread houses they used to make with the kids. She says maybe they could do one with Avery. For Morgan. Sonny says he’s looking forward to it. Carly says they’ll talk soon.

Jason asks Sam about the cake and she explains. She says they could donate it to the homeless, but Jason  says he thought she liked cake. He tells her that it’s up to her. She says one condition, they don’t tell Maxie what they did, and keep the results to themselves. That’s actually two conditions. They cut the cake.

Tomorrow, Ava asks why Julian wants to move in with the person who ran him down, Naomi visits Hayden, and Dillon chats up Valerie.

🌟 I checked out Star tonight on FOX and loved it! It’s basically a cheesy soap about a girl group getting their start in the Atlanta music scene, along with individual stories about their relationships and backgrounds. When group leader, Star (Jude Demorest), lands them a gig by singing to the customer during a lap dance, it did fall into outlandish territory, reminding me of an old SNL skit called Married in a Minute. Three girls go to the city to find fame, fortune and romance, and find all three just that quick. It doesn’t matter though. The cast is amazing – Queen Latifah, Benjamin Bratt, Lenny Kravitz, Naomi Campbell – even Miss Lawrence has a small, perfect-for-him, ongoing role. And the music ain’t bad either. It’s escapism at it’s finest, and if the first episode is any indication of what’s to come, I’m in for the long haul.


December 20, 2016 – Tom Uncaged, Erika Sans Underwear & Caroline #1 Unhinged


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Elizabeth introduces Tom’s brother, Seth, to Franco. Seth hasn’t seen Tom since he stopped working at GH. He knows Franco threatened Tom, and Elizabeth asks Franco if he did anything.

Tom gets out of the cage. He tries to get the shock collar off.

Laura talks to herself, practicing a thank you speech. Doc hears her and asks if she needs a psychiatrist. She says she’s trying to come up with something coherent to say to the committee. He says the meeting is just a formality for her joining the hospital board. He suddenly realizes she’ll be his boss. Well, kinda, but not really. That’s still Monica.

Anna flashes back to someone whistling the song that Valentin taught Charlotte. She asks Charlotte if she can tell her anything more about the song, like how Valentin learned it.

Lulu tells Dante she has no intention of giving Charlotte back.

The alarms next to Hayden’s bed go off. She’s not breathing.

Tom finally gets the collar off and kicks some things around. He tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

Seth says Franco came over to his house, which is breaking and entering, never mind the assault. He says that Tom always answers his texts, and unless he gets some answers, he’s going to the police. Code blue is called, and Elizabeth jets. Franco says he’s sorry he resorted to violence, since violence is almost never the answer, but on the other hand, can Seth blame him for wanting to protect Elizabeth? Seth says he can’t.

Lulu asks Charlotte to come sit with her and Dante. Charlotte wants to stay with Emma, but Anna convinces her to go. Emma asks why Anna keeps asking about the song, and she says she just thinks she’s heard it before. She asks how she and Charlotte are getting along. Emma says they had fun, but she feels sorry for Charlotte because she hasn’t seen her mommy in a long time.

Lulu suggests that she and Charlotte look at the Christmas decorations, but Charlotte says she did that already. Lulu asks if she’d like to go to their house, but she says she wants to go home. This is going well.

Laura says she can separate her personal and professional life. Lucy comes along and congratulates Laura on being on the board. She mentions that Laura will be Doc’s boss.

Finn uses the defibrillator on Hayden. He screams at Hayden to start fighting, but nothing happens. Elizabeth tells Finn it’s been too long, but he refuses to quit. Her pulse comes back. Elizabeth says there might be complications, but Tracy thinks she’ll probably come back more irritating than she was before. Finn tells Hayden not to make a liar out of Tracy. He asks her to come back for him. He thinks they have a chance to “you know,” and says they have unfinished business. He says, sweetheart, come back to me, and Hayden opens her eyes. She asks if he just called her sweetheart.

Seth tells Franco if he finds out that Tom met with foul play, he’ll be the first stop. Franco says maybe he’s out on a bender, and thinks Seth should be more concerned that Tom is out causing trouble.

Tom yells his head off while the music continues to play. He digs around until he finds a paint scraper. He tries to open the door with it.

Lucy tells Laura not to play favorites just because she and Doc are in love. She steers Laura toward the meeting, babbling about what Laura needs to know.

Anna tells Emma that Charlotte has her father too, but Emma says Anna doesn’t like him. She tells Anna that Charlotte loves her father. Emma is starting to remind me of a young Margaret O’Brien.

Lulu asks if Charlotte wants to go ice skating, but she repeats that she wants to go home. Dante suggests that she help them decorate the tree, but that’s also a no. Valentin walks in and Charlotte runs to him.

Hayden wants to know why everyone’s looking at her. Tracy says she died, and Finn says just a little. She says she must be in hell, but Elizabeth says it’s just GH. She talks about seeing a white light, and when they all go, really? she says no. Ha-ha! Tracy tells her that Elizabeth helped save her, and Hayden says she guesses they’re even now. Elizabeth leaves to do nurse stuff. Finn says he was so afraid he’d die on her, he never thought of her dying on him.

Seth tells Franco that Tom still has bad impulses. Franco says he’s done some bad things, but there’s someone in his life who inspires him now, and he’s going to keep trying. Seth says maybe Tom will meet someone like that, but Franco says he already has, and he’s not going to do anything to risk losing her because of someone like Tom. He suggests Seth go home, and says Tom will probably show up by tomorrow. After he’s gone, Elizabeth tells Franco that she heard what he said and hugs him. She says Hayden almost died, and she realizes how much time she’s wasted.

Tom has no luck getting the door open, but is able to stop the music. He screams for help.

Emma asks why Anna doesn’t like Charlotte’s dad. Anna says she just has a couple of questions about him because he’s a mystery she needs to solve. Emma says she can go on a playdate to Windemere and get her some answers. Already a budding spy like her parents.

Charlotte asks Valentin if they’re going home. He says he needs to talk to Lulu and asks her to sit at another table. Lulu asks why he’s there, and he says Nina was concerned that she might not return Charlotte. She says Charlotte is her daughter too, and he’s interfering with their time together. He tells Lulu that they have to come up with an equitable way to share her. He goes back to Charlotte, and Lulu tells Dante that he’s playing games. She says she’s going to take Charlotte and run. Dante is like, bad idea, and she says she’s going to fight for full custody.

Finn tells Hayden that her organs are shutting down, and Hayden asks how they stop that. He says he has an idea but needs more information. He thinks he’s discovered a cure, but if it doesn’t cure her, it could kill her.

Anna tells Emma that under no circumstances is she to spy on Charlotte and her father. She’ll get answers herself without Emma’s help. She says Emma isn’t going to Windemere without supervision either. Valentin comes over to introduce himself to Emma, and asks if she’d like to help Charlotte eat some cookies. She goes off to join Emma, and Valentin tells Anna he hopes Emma and Charlotte can be friends despite how she feels about him. Anna says that’s fine, and he’s lovely with his daughter. She asks him about the song and if it has lyrics. He says they’re in Russian, and asks if she speaks it. She says he already knows she does.

Dante tells Lulu that she should rethink fighting for full custody. He says Charlotte barely knows her.

Elizabeth doesn’t want to keep herself at a distance, and end up thinking what might have been. She tells Franco that she doesn’t want to waste any more time not trusting him. Franco says if she really ever wants to talk about his past, that’s fine. She says he’s changed and so has she. They kiss. He says he has to go, and she says that’s the story of her life. He tells her that he wants Christmas to be perfect, but Elizabeth says that she’ll settle for peaceful and uninterrupted. He says he’ll make her believe in Santa again. Ho-ho-ho.

Tom continues to holler. He says nobody is going to help him. He picks up a chair and puts it down again, sitting in it.

Finn tells Hayden that he was going to test the cure on himself, but she needs it more. She asks if he can make more of it, and he says probably. He says they need to make a decision now, because if she flatlines again, she won’t make it back a second time. She asks what happens to him, and he says they’ll figure it out. He asks if she wants to take the chance.

Laura tells Lucy that her first act will be to secure the funds for the Nurses Ball. Lucy says for once a board member with the sense God gave a goose. She tells them to get back to what they were doing before her interruption, and if anyone can handle an employee romance, it’s them. Doc tells Laura that he’d put her on the spot when he told her he loved her, and wonders if they can just continue to move forward She says she doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Dante tells Lulu that it’s too early to fight for full custody, and they should see how it goes. She says she can’t let a murderer raise her daughter. Dante says to look at it from Charlotte’s perspective. If Lulu takes away her father, she’s not going to score any points.

Valentin and Anna discuss speaking Russian. Valentin tells Anna that the phrase he learned as, “Don’t give up” really translated to “Hold your tail as a weapon.” She seems to recognize this, but doesn’t say anything.

Elizabeth asks Hayden how she’s doing. Hayden says she’s just in time to say good-by before Finn gives her what could be a miracle drug or a lethal injection.

Franco gets back, and Tom has returned to the cage. He tells Tom that Santa came early for him this year; he’s letting him go. I would not trust Tom as far as I could kick him, and I think he probably has a weapon.

Laura says ever since Doc said he loved her, she hasn’t been able to think of anything else. She wakes up with a happy feeling for no other reason. She says she finds herself smiling throughout the day. She doesn’t know if it’s the right time, but she can’t hold back anymore – she loves him too. He tells her he loves her and they kiss. Lots of that happening today. She realizes she’s going to be late, and Doc says go get ‘em.

Dante says if Lulu wants what’s best for Charlotte, she’ll wait and let Charlotte spend time with her. Anna comes to get Dante. Valentin tells Charlotte to say good-by to Lulu and thank her. She hugs Lulu and runs off. Valentin tells Lulu that he’s sorry that they got off to a rough start.

Anna tells Dante that she’s certain she’s crossed paths with Valentin before, and it has to be when she was training for the WSB

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte will know her as her mother sooner than he thinks. She’s suing for full custody.

Franco tells Tom that after talking to Elizabeth, he wondered what he’s doing and that it’s wrong. Tom deserves to be punished, but it’s not Franco’s job. He tells him to leave Elizabeth alone and they can get on with their lives. He unlocks the cage and Tom gets out. He grabs Franco from behind and puts a cloth over his nose and mouth.

Elizabeth tells Hayden they’ll fight like the sisters they are for the rest of their lives. Tracy says it’s no fun putting her in her place when she’s down, so she has to fight to get better. Hayden tells Finn that if she makes it, she’ll never let him go. He says he’ll find a way to keep going and kisses her.

Tracy and Elizabeth watch as he gives her the shot.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Jason what he knows, Tom turns the tables on Franco, and Heather wonders why Elizabeth would be visiting her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR is going to NYC to visit one of her daughters who’s starting a modeling career.

Kyle is also there with her daughter Sophia. She goes to the city often, and rotates who she brings along, but says Sophia is most like her. They both have so much anxiety about everything, I’m surprised they can handle it.

LisaV visits Dorit with Harrison. She’s planning Ken’s next birthday, and wants some help in finding a gift. Last year, she got him a mini pony, but I think it was really for her. Dorit says Lisa brings out the fun in her, and they’re two peas in a pod.

Erika has some shows coming up and is also working on a new video. She comes to rehearsal and watches what the dancers have been working on so far. Her assistant gives her the schedule of the million things that need to be dealt with.

Dorit and LisaV go to a jewelry store to look at watches. Lisa sets Harrison on the counter and wipes his nose with her dress. Celebrities! They’re just like us! The clerk doesn’t bat an eye. Lisa is shown an over-blinged almost-a-million dollar, watch, but says if she buys it, she’ll have nothing left over for shoes. The perfect watch is found. Lisa likes Dorit because she isn’t super sensitive.

Kyle is opening a store in NYC since she did so well in the Hamptons. She takes a look at the space. LisaR joins her. Lisa says it’s a great area. It’s on the Upper East Side and Kyle says they’ll have to sell a lot of dresses to pay the rent. Truth! Kyle wants Harry to help out with some shelf-building. In her interview, Lisa explains that he’s handy that way, being too cheap to hire someone. Lisa says that Kyle will have to get in line, because everyone wants a piece of Harry.

LisaR talks to Kyle about making up with LisaV. Kyle says it’s good that LisaV said she wants to move on. In her interview, Kyle says that the things she’s gone through with LisaV are small in comparison with what went on with LisaR, but she thinks it’s all going to be put in a box and put away. In other words, swept under the rug.

Dorit’s baby has to wear a headband due to sleeping too much on one side and flattening her skull. (!) Dorit says she loves her kids, but depends on her nannies who are an extension of her. Her son arrives back from speech therapy. She’d started getting concerned when at 2, he wasn’t making an effort to speak. She’s worried that she’s not seeing as much progress as she’d like. He does want to drive the car though, so maybe he’s not as behind as she thinks. She says it would be easier to get Boy George to date women than negotiate with a two-year-old. Another truth!

Eileen and Vince are going to her mother’s house for a final good-by. In her interview, Eileen chokes up, talking about how when her mother first started struggling with dementia, she was aware of it and afraid. They look at family photos. She says in some ways, it’s a relief that her mother isn’t suffering anymore. The house has been sold, and she says it’s a certain finality in saying good-by to everything that was her mother. She says closing the door to the house is symbolic of closing the door to her mother’s physical existence on earth, but she’s still there in spirit. I so understand and empathize with how she feels, as I had a similar experience when my father passed away, although he died suddenly and had no lingering illness.

LisaR says a part of her wants to reach out to Yolanda, but she screwed it up, and has to live with it. We flash back to all that. She’s meeting with some of her daughter’s modeling people. They discuss Delilah’s career and her manager thinks she’s on the fast track. Lisa talks about her labor pains and how big Delilah’s head was when she was born. Delilah is embarrassed and so am I. She talks about everyone thinking Delilah was deformed and Harry asking for a hat. Some photos are taken.

Harrison! Tiny ponies! Giggy! When are LisaV and Ken going to adopt me? Lisa gives Ken his present, and we flash back to the birthday parties she’s thrown for him. This year, it’s just going to be the two of them. He loves the watch. It is pretty nice. She says the greatest gift she’s given Ken is the children…and a bj in the car. They compare Giggy and Harrison’s hair loss. Lisa says Harrison went from the pound to a palace. Really, I won’t take up much space. They’ll never even know I’m there.

Lisa is looking for an apartment for Max. She says before they help their children, they like them to struggle first. She’s seen him live in a grubby place, so now it’s time for a surprise. She says he’s worked hard and deserves to live better now. I like this idea. Everyone should have the experience of living on their own for a while, whether they have to or not.

Kyle meets LisaR for dinner with their girls. Lisa says they’re still like 2 and 3 in her mind. She’s leaving them by themselves for two nights, and she’s a little worried. She says the worst that could happen is they disappear, which would be pretty bad. Kyle asks what they have planned, since it’s not like they can go to clubs. The girls just look at each other and say of course not.

Delilah checks out a dating app and freaks at who she’s matched with. She explains to LisaR that you can’t even get on it without being special. Obviously, it’s not Tinder. Lisa wants to know how much she paid for it. Kyle thinks it’s sketchy at only nine bucks a month. Lisa explains she has to go to QVC and wants to be told everything is going to be okay. She says no dating app stuff while she’s gone. Kyle suggests no dates in the city.

Eileen feels like she can’t focus, so it’s time for some therapy. She tells her therapist that it’s almost embarrassing to have lost so many people and having to keep sharing the information. The therapist asks if there’s a limit on how many people are allowed to die. Eileen lists all the people close to her who have passed away recently, and it’s a lot. She can’t understand why she feels the way she does. She talks about the disconnect between her parents, and says she was embarrassed that her parents didn’t get along when she was younger. The therapist says her knee-jerk reaction to things is shame. Interesting. She tells Eileen to stop trying to make things okay for everyone else. Eileen wants to work on being in the moment with what she’s feeling, and if she knew how much I hate that term, she wouldn’t use it in order to make everything okay. That’s my knee-jerk reaction from having heard it in acting school every five minutes.

Kyle calls Mauricio who’s in Mexico. She’s getting ready for a white party. Isn’t that racist? She calls LisaV with a fashion emergency – she needs nude-colored underwear because the white ones are showing through her jumpsuit. Some of the group gathers for a kiki before the party. Kyle tells them they’ve cast Alicia Siverstone to play her mother in the new show about her early life. Erika talks about her upcoming gig on The Young and the Restless. She’s praying she doesn’t disappoint Eileen. LisaV talks about her early acting career, and Ken suggests they were silent films. Erika is slightly taken aback and Ken says it’s just British humor. Erika says lets all put on British accents and insult each other, but PK says they don’t see it that way; it’s self-depreciation. Dorit thinks Americans should chill out and Erika reminds her she was born in Connecticut.

Dorit talks about how poised Erika is, and Erika says she’s guarded when she first meets people. LisaV explains that Kyle needs underwear, but Erika says she doesn’t have any. Why should she break up a beautiful design with a pantyline? I catch PK trying to take a look. Erika claims that she’s actually a shy introvert, but Dorit’s not buying it. They all leave for the party.

PK and Dorit discuss the party the next day. PK says the scenery was good, referring to Erika not wearing underwear. He says he couldn’t help but notice early on. Dorit says she doesn’t know if Erika deliberately flashed, but she doesn’t blame PK for being a man. He tells her about how distracting it was. Dorit says that she would never put on a free show like that, but thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, so she’s going to approach her about the whole thing. That ought to be good.

Next time, LisaR does her QVC thing, Dorit complains about Erika, and Erika receives a gift of underwear.

✈ A note on Ladies of London – the British highborn – they curse just like us! Caroline #1 refuses to be told what to do (i.e. have some manners), and leaves Mapperton early. Juliet leaves with her because she’s a brownnoser loyal. Julie seems to think a title intimidates Caroline. I think it’s way more than that, although I can’t fathom being intimidated by a title. It’s not like anybody works to get one. My husband is a marquis. You know what it’s gotten us? Nothing. And rightly so. Although I would like a nice castle…

I have to mention too, how much I like Caroline #2. She’s a little hippie-dippy, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so endearingly sincere, especially on a reality show.



December 19, 2016 – The Battle for Charlotte Begins & Scheana Battles to be Liked


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Anna sees Dante. She tells him about her conversation with Griff, discussing Charlotte’s parentage. She asks how he’s holding up. He says it’s bad enough that Valentin is walking around town, but now he shares a child with Lulu. Anna says that Charlotte is lucky that Lulu’s her mom, and Dante has to agree with that. He says they have to settle some things before confronting Valentin.

Lulu goes to Windemere. She tells Valentin that she doesn’t care what story he tells her, she’s Charlotte’s mother and she’s ready for a fight. He says he has no intention of fighting with her.

Franco sees Elizabeth at the hospital. She says she’s been looking for him. She tells him that his landlord called the hospital about a noise complaint at his apartment because he couldn’t get him on the phone. The music is blasting. Franco says he can’t find his phone. Elizabeth asks what he has going on over there.

Franco’s phone is on the floor not far from the cage Tom is in. Tom tries to reach it, but it’s a little too far.

Tracy reads from the tabloids to a sleeping Hayden. Hayden asks her to stop; she’s trying to will herself to live. Tracy tells her that Finn thinks he’s found a cure.

Finn goes to the lab. (Is he allowed in there?) Brad comes in and asks what he’s doing there, answering my question. Brad says he’s going to call security, but Finn says he needs Brad’s help – it’s a matter of life and death.

Valentin asks Lulu if she’d like tea. She says she has no intention of sipping tea with the man who killed her brother. He says it was a misunderstanding, but she’s not budging. She tells him to give her Charlotte and stay out of their lives forever. He says he’s not relinquishing his parental rights, and she’ll have to learn to co-parent with him. Charlotte comes downstairs with Nina.

Anna and Dante discuss Charlotte. He says he loves Charlotte, but he’s not her dad. And it’s not like an adoption; she already has a father.

Valentin re-introduces Charlotte to Lulu. While Charlotte is occupied, Nina asks what’s happening. Valentin says he and Lulu were discussing Charlotte’s future. Lulu says there’s no future with the two of them. Nina says that Lulu just met Charlotte, and Valentin has been raising Charlotte her whole life. Lulu asks how it concerns her, since she’s nothing to Charlotte. Nasty.

Franco makes up some artistic reason for the music being so loud. Elizabeth leaves to do hospital stuff, and Franco asks himself where his cell phone is.

Tom continues to try and get the phone with a piece of wire he found.

Brad tells Finn that’s something addicts say, and he’s not turning a blind eye to anything. Finn says he’s not an addict, and Brad asks why he looks like one. Finn says he’s trying to save someone’s life, and Brad says he wants the whole truth.

Hayden tries to get up, but Tracy says denial doesn’t look good on her. She’s texted Elizabeth who’s coming to give Hayden something for her fever. Hayden asks why Tracy is taking care of her, since she hasn’t exactly won her over with charm. Tracy says because Hayden reminds her of someone who was arrogant and elitist, and Hayden tells Tracy to stop flattering her. Tracy says they were ruthless in business, and took a long time to care about someone, and let them care about her, and she’s hoping Hayden learns from her mistakes. Hayden thanks her, probably realizing that Tracy is talking about herself.

Finn explains everything to Brad. Brad says he’d only heard of someone in a distant country having the disease, and understands now that’s why Finn has been taking the drug. Finn says his supply is running low because he’s sharing with Hayden. He says it’s an accelerated case, but he might have found a cure.

Valentin says Charlotte adores Nina, and Lulu should accept that Nina has a place in her life. Lulu says she’ll make those decisions. He tells her he wants to go slow because up until now, Charlotte thought Claudette was her mother. Lulu thinks he’s trying to drive a wedge between them, but he says that’s not the case. Valentin suggests a playdate with Lulu to Charlotte.

Dante tells Anna about his concerns. She thinks he’s mourning the idea of not having another child of his own. She says that he loves Lulu and Charlotte is a part of her, so he’ll love Charlotte too. He says he wants to believe that, but it’s not going to be easy. He tells Anna that Valentin is a lunatic, and opening their doors to Charlotte means opening them to him too. Anna thinks he’s not going to be a threat much longer, and that she’s on to something.

Lulu tells Charlotte about the tree lighting ceremony at the MetroCourt. Valentin says Charlotte should go and show off her pretty dress, and that Lulu will take good care of her. Nina goes to get her coat. Lulu thanks Valentin, who tells her to make sure Charlotte is home before it’s too late. Lulu interrupts Nina putting on Charlotte’s gloves, and takes her outside. Nina asks Valentin if he’s out of his mind. On the porch, Lulu puts Charlotte’s gloves on, and says she knows they’ll have a wonderful time together.

Just as Brad asks Finn about one of the vials in the lab, ABC breaks in with something going on in Berlin, which they think is a deliberate attack. Okay, maybe this is important, but it still could have waited a whole half an hour.

Thank you, God. They’re going back to the show. They even said there’s no confirmation of anything and they know nothing. So why bother me with it???

Elizabeth and a doctor discuss Hayden’s condition. I’m assuming she got sent to the hospital while I was in Berlin. Her sepsis has come back, and they’re going to have to put her into a medically induced coma. She’s worried she won’t wake up, but the doctor says it can’t wait.

Nina asks why Valentin handed Charlotte over to Lulu when she clearly didn’t want to go. He wants to avoid conflict, but Nina says Lulu is like a kid with a new toy who doesn’t want to share. She thinks Lulu has other plans.

Anna tells Dante that she thinks Valentin burned down his old school to burn down his past. She also wants to find out where their paths have crossed. She can’t put him in context. She says he keeps taunting her with reminders of her past, but thinks he’s going to eventually slip up. Lulu and Charlotte join them.

Lulu introduces Dante to Charlotte. Anna tells Charlotte that Emma is downstairs, and takes Charlotte to see her. Lulu tells Dante that Charlotte has Nicholas’s eyes. She babbles a little, and Dante asks how this happened. She says she went to see Valentin, and Dante asks what she was thinking.

Valentin tells Nina that it took every ounce of will power. He says his move was strategic; if he deals with Lulu honestly, he’s hoping she’ll do the same. Nina thanks him for defending her place In Charlotte’s life. He says she has a place in his too. She asks what if she doesn’t want it, and he says he’ll let her go, but he’ll just chase her again, and they can save time by just being together now. They kiss.

Tom tells Franco he’s had his fun. He needs to check in with his parole officer, and it dawns on him that it’s Franco’s plan to get him sent back to prison. Franco tells him that bad dogs get sent back to the pound.

Finn’s phone rings. It’s Elizabeth. She tells him they had to bring Hayden back to the hospital. She says Hayden is scared and so is she.

Hayden thanks Tracy for everything. Tracy tells her she’s going to be okay. She falls asleep, and the doctor says it will take stress off her system. He can’t say whether she’ll live through the night though.

Brad finds Finn gone. Finn runs into Hayden’s room with a syringe in his hand.

Lulu tells Dante that she wasn’t sure where his head was at. These two always talk like they came from the late 60’s. He says she’s Charlotte’s mother and he’s on board. Anna brings the girls I-don’t-know-where. She parks them while she takes a call from Robert, who says it’s another dead end. Anna tells him that she’s not giving up.  When Anna returns, the girls are humming a song. She asks where they heard it, and Emma says Charlotte just taught it to her. She must be a quick learner.

Tom begs Franco not to send him back to prison, and says he’s changed. He says he’ll stay away from Franco and his friends, and give up photography. He threatens to tell the cops, and Franco says he doesn’t think so. He says Tom would be amazed what you can do with Photoshop. If Tom goes to the police, he’ll manipulate a photo of Tom to look like he went to an island somewhere.  Franco leaves.

Finn tells the doctor Hayden is his patient, and he’d like to discuss things with her family. Tracy tells him the doctor doesn’t expect her to make it through the night. He says he thinks he has a cure. He’s going to test it on himself, and it will either cure him or kill him.

Anna asks Charlotte who taught her the song, and she says poppa whistles it to her. Anna suggests they get some hot chocolate before the tree lighting. The girls continue to hum the song, and Anna flashes back to her younger self hearing someone whistle it.

Nina says she knows Valentin wants to spare Charlotte a custody battle, but she doesn’t think Lulu will back off. She tells him that he’s been painted as a villain, and she speaks from personal experience when she says there’s no telling how far someone will go when they’re trying to defend their child.

Lulu says she feels better hearing Dante say they’re together in this. She understands him having mixed feelings. He says they’re going to co-parent with the man who killed her brother. She says she has no intention of giving Charlotte back.

Franco goes back to the hospital. There’s a guy talking to Elizabeth, and she introduces him as Tom’s brother, Seth. She says he hasn’t seen Tom in a few days, and he wouldn’t know anything about that, right?

Tom gets the lock open and gets out of the cage.

Tracy says Finn can’t inject himself with something that hasn’t been tested. He says it’s no time for rational thinking. Hayden gave him back a part of his life that he didn’t think existed anymore. He gives Tracy something to give to Brad if the doctors can’t get to him in time. He asks her to make sure he’s not interrupted. She tells him just don’t die, and goes into the hallway to guard the door. He prepares the injection, but Hayden’s bedside alarms go off.

Tomorrow, Charlotte wants to go home, Elizabeth asks Franco what he did, and Tom screams his head off.

Vanderpump Rules

The servers gather before the restaurant opens. They discuss Ariana’s birthday. Scheana thinks that she hasn’t been invited because it’s common knowledge that she’s going to the Hamptons with Stassi that same weekend. Shay and Carter also have birthdays coming up, and there’s a combined surprise party where each thinks they’re going to the other one’s celebration.

Stassi says she loves SUR now that she doesn’t work there anymore. Yes, we all know how she feels about goat cheese balls. She’s been doing a podcast called Straight Up with Stassi. She tells Brittany that Jax would be a good fit to discuss reformed cheaters. He claims that Brittany is the woman who changed him, so she wanted to check with her first. Brittany is fine with it, saying the only thing that her Jax and Stassi’s Jax have in common is their name.

Ariana asks Scheana if she can talk with her and Katie in the back. She says it’s nothing bad, but certainly that will be a matter of opinion. Ariana says she knows there’s conflict with them and Lala, and Lisa suggested they meet and discuss. In her interview, Katie wonders what Ariana thinks she’s doing trying to broker a peace treaty, and feels that there are no more chances with Lala. Lala joins them, and Ariana asks how they can make things peaceful. Lala says she tried to apologize to Scheana, and feels like she got shut down. Ariana brings up the married man rumors, and Katie claims a video came out. Lala says they’re out of their minds, and she was actually covering up the guy she was really dating, who she just broke up with. Ariana says there’s been trashing on both sides. Lala tells them that she’s not going to apologize again, and she and Katie start to argue. In her interview, Scheana says she doesn’t know what to do, since she and Lala are friendly now. She apologizes for anything she’s said that hurt anyone’s feelings, and promises that not one word about anyone will pass her lips anymore. The meeting breaks up, and it seem like it was pretty useless.

Brittany tells Lisa about Stassi’s podcast. In her interview, Lisa says no matter what, Brittany is always smiling, and wonders where her pissed off face is. She tells Brittany she wouldn’t do it, but Brittany thinks everything is just dandy.

Stassi joins Katie on her break. Katie tells her about the meeting with Lala. Stassi asks if Katie apologized, and Katie tells her of course not, but Scheana did. Stassi says that Scheana is desperate to be liked. She says it’s like one of the victims apologizing to Charles Manson. She gets on her phone and starts texting Scheana. I feel the earth move under Twitter with 144 words coming from all over about Stassi’s insensitivity toward murder victims. #WhatAnIdiot

Brittany must explain to Jax how to hang a curtain rod. He’d rather hire someone, and needs a drink afterward. They discuss Stassi’s podcast. She says she trusts Jax and Stassi, but it’s going to be weird, since they’ll be discussing personal stuff. In his interview, Jax says when he looks back on his relationship with Stassi, it reminds him of Misery. We flash back to some choice moments. He says he prefers to be cordial with her because it’s safer.

Scheana drops by. She quit drinking when Shay did, but needs one right now. She tells them about the meeting. She says that later on she got endless texts from Stassi, and then a passive-aggressive text from Katie at around midnight. She thinks they were on the tequila.

Katie and Schwartz talk with the wedding planner on the phone. Katie says something about keeping it under 50K, and Schwartz nearly falls out of his chair. He says their budget is like a cartoon snowball that just keeps getting bigger. Stassi sneaks into their apartment in the background. In her interview, Katie suggests that Schwartz investigate other, less expensive options if he doesn’t like what she’s doing. Good point.

Kristen arrives. The girls tell Kristen about the meeting. in her interview, Kristen says Ariana is pulling a Schwartz. Stassi says if someone is willing to sacrifice their best friends to be liked, how can she trust them?

Scheana talks to Jax about the meeting, saying she feels like she’s being ganged up on. In his interview, Jax says he feels like Gandhi, who foretold the future, and then tries to figure out who Gandhi is.

Lisa comes by SUR and asks how it’s going. Ariana tells her about the mediation and how she feels like everyone had their say, but later Scheana got a load of negative texts. Lisa thinks they should just stop the bullsh*t. She was hoping this would stop her from having to hear about it again, but no such luck.

Stassi sets up her podcast in a bar. Jax looks at her equipment and asks if they’re going to search for ghosts. He brings up the meeting, and tells Stassi that Scheana thinks it’s a mean girl thing. Stassi says that’s what she does when she’s caught or wrong, whine that she’s being bullied.

In his interview, Jax says that Stassi isn’t wrong when she says he used to be a d-bag, but if he hadn’t been, he wouldn’t be who he is today. Words fail me. Stassi starts the podcast, saying that 48% of men cheat because of emotional dissatisfaction. Jax talks about how most men cheat down, but he had gorgeous women when he cheated because he wanted to know he still “had it.” Stassi suggests he sounds like someone who doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings. She asks if he’ll take a sociopath test, and although he feels like he’s being backed into a corner, he agrees. In her interview, Stassi says Jax shouldn’t worry about being a sociopath, and lists the psychiatric profile of everyone on the show, including herself.

Lisa asks if Scheana is okay to work. Scheana says she’s okay as long as she doesn’t talk about it. She tells Lisa about Katie’s text. Katie comes by, and Lisa asks why Scheana is in tears. Katie says she doesn’t want to have a conversation about it tonight, and Scheana says she doesn’t want to talk about it at Shay’s party. Harrison! In her interview, Lisa wonders why she’s paying them, when they should be paying her for therapy.

Brittany helps Scheana set up for Shay’s party. She’s never been to a surprise party before, and Scheana says she’s never planned one before. Some of the other girls arrive. Tom is volunteered as bartender, even though he’s not there yet. Kristen creates a margarita baby pool and frets that people might not want to drink from it. Stassi says those aren’t their kind of friends then. Stassi talks to Kristen and Katie about Scheana, who she believes is getting worse.

The rest of the crew shows up. Schwartz has fetched the guests of honor, saying he was chosen for the role since he keeps his mouth shut. In his interview, Tom explains that both guys knew they were going to a surprise party, so technically it wasn’t one.

The party is in full swing, with guests drinking, playing in the pool, drinking, gossiping, drinking, and comparing abs, and drinking. Jax tells Tom and Schwartz that Scheana feels like it’s three against one again, and Schwartz says it’s like The Godfather where Scheana has to be concerned about her standing in the family. Kristen confronts Scheana, who is worried about her status as a bridesmaid, and about the coflicting trip to Montauk to maintain her friendship with Stassi.

Ariana asks Scheana if she thinks they’re going to work things out. Tom tells her that they can’t change the tickets for Ariana’s NASCAR post-birthday trip, so if things don’t work out for her, she doesn’t have the option of coming with them. Scheana is going to have a heart attack by the end of this episode. She seems like a nice girl, but she’s worse than James Wilson in 1776, seconding his own motion in his zeal to be liked. Not everyone is going to like you, and you can’t always have it both ways.

Schwartz talks to Shay on the side, asking him how it is being married. He tells Shay about the wedding budget issue and how he wanted to keep it under 15K. Shay just laughs. We flash back to the expense. Shay says he felt the same way, and they both think elopement equals a down payment on a house. Like this bunch doesn’t make more money in one year than I’ll make in a lifetime.

Brittany talks to Stassi, saying she doesn’t know what a sociopath is, but Jax failed the test miserably. They talk about forgiveness. Stassi says she wishes she could rise above things like Brittany does, but she needs to know if she can trust someone.

Stassi talks to Scheana, telling her that she should stand up for something. Scheana says she is – herself. Stassi says she’s not getting it because she hasn’t been hurt by Lala. Scheana calls Ariana over because she can’t fend for herself in a conflict. Ariana says she’s friends with both Lala and the other girls. Stassi says Ariana doesn’t grasp that Lala has done evil things to people. Stassi doesn’t understand how she can be friends with someone like that. Ariana says Stassi is so emotional, it’s difficult to talk to her, and asks why she’s so heated. Stassi goes into the house crying. She tells Katie that Ariana and Scheana suck. She explains what happened with Scheana dragging Ariana into their discussion.

Scheana joins them and wants to talk about it. Stassi says she pulled someone else into their conversation. Scheana says they all have the same opinion. Stassi tells her to stop being an a-hole. She says that it’s not about Lala, it’s about her, and her not caring that Lala has done terrible things to her friends. Schaena tells Katie that she seems like Tequila Katie again. In her interview, Scheana says that Schwartz has been saying the same thing. and she’s being accused of something that didn’t happen because they’re drunk and emotional. We flash back to some tense moments between Katie and Schwartz.

Katie says she can read Scheana like a book and she’s totally fake. Scheana goes back outside and tells Ariana what happened. In her interview, Scheana says that she never thought she was better than her friends, but she does now. Katie says she’s over it.

Next time, Scheana wonders if she’s going to be disinvited, Stassi says Scheana is exhibiting the opposite of bridesmaid behavior, and James approaches Lisa about coming back. As if.

⛷ Just a note about Timber Creek Lodge. When Jamie told someone “thanks for sharing” at a staff meeting, had I been an employee, I might have had to quit right then and there.

December 18, 2016 – Vintage Christmas Holly Jollies, a Little Atlanta & a Small Dose of Medicine


Now for Something Completely Different

While there are some Sunday night shows I’m watching, like The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Married to Medicine (see below), nothing is happening with the shows I’m blogging, so I thought I’d share a little Christmas humor.

In 1979, I was young, single, and living in NYC. I still went home for Christmas though, and a friend of mine stayed at my apartment in Manhattan that year to babysit my cat, Eric. (So named after Monty Python‘s Eric the Cat.) When I got back, I found this note. In explanation, my railroad flat was once a hotel room and had a decorative fireplace. And be forewarned, there are curse words ahead.

Christmas Eve, 1979

Dear Theresa,

Well, I was here! Where the hell were you?

After all the trouble I had getting here, too. Do you realize how goddamn hard it is to guide 8 reindeer through New York City? They all want to stop and look at the tall buildings and buy pretzels. They all bugged the hell out of me, trying to con me into taking them to Radio City.

Then, trying to land on that goddamn filthy roof of yours. Doesn’t anybody clean around here? There was so much fuckin’ pigeon shit around, Dancer slipped and almost ended up as flying venison.

Then I struggle and squeeze, and damn near burst my spleen trying to get down the chimney. I finally make it through – and you bricked up the fuckin’ fireplace!

I had to climb all the way back up to the roof, walk down the fire escape and get in through the front door. (If Jane didn’t leave your key for me – I wouldn’t have even gotten in!)

And then, do you think I could go up in the elevator? Oh no! I had to trudge up those cruddy stairs. Four whole flights I walked!

So I get in, finally. And where are you? Gone. I don’t even get the satisfaction of sneaking around so you don’t wake up. It’s the best part of being Santa Claus, goddamn it, and I couldn’t. If it weren’t for your crazy cat sleeping in the sink, it would have been a total loss.

By the way – do you know your cat is fencing stolen goods? I found a whole mess of TVs and stereos… well, never mind.

And the topper of it all. The thing that really, really burns me up is that you didn’t even leave me a goddamn glass of milk and a few lousy cookies! Nothing! I open the fridge and – nada! Not even a lousy j!

Thanks a heap, Theresa.

All in all, you really fucked me over, and don’t think I’m gonna forget it!

Santa Claus

P.S. Just stopped by on my way back from Ohio. So there you were! OK, all’s forgiven. But next time, drop me a note if you aren’t going to be in. You know my address. Merry Christmas.


🎅 Wherever you are, Jane Lindberg, you’re still making me laugh after almost 40 years.

👒 A quick note on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya and Matt’s relationship seems to have taken a nosedive, which I find sad, since it looked like she’d found the right guy. Unfortunately, he’s shown a somewhat violent temper, and broke one of her garage door windows during an argument. Not a good sign. It’s hard to tell if they’ll end up working things out. I think it depends on whether or not Matt is willing to go to some kind of counseling. Kenya’s father has been a real champ though, supporting her all the way, and even trying to talk to Matt himself.

Phaedra is still the same self-righteous a-hole. There’s no way I could be friends with her. She has to be the phoniest member of the Housewives franchise, and that’s saying a lot. If you look up “two-faced” in the dictionary, her picture is there. Porsha has a new old boyfriend, whom she dated years ago. She decides to bring him to a family dinner, where he’s barraged with questions about his “intentions.” Even Jesus gets an earful during grace.

I often get distracted by the outfits on this show. Especially when Phaedra wears some kind of poufy thing. Or a hat. I was twice as distracted tonight, when Phaedra and Kandi met for a disastrous lunch. Kandi called Phaedra out for everything she’d ever done since the earth cooled, and Phaedra pretended she had no idea what Kandi was talking about, and Kandi must be crazy. But I digress from my digression. Kandi was wearing a gorgeous, but busy, off-the-shoulder dress, in a humongous floral pattern, and Phaedra was wearing some white concoction that I kept trying to figure out. I don’t know how I was supposed to concentrate on the conversation. All I know is, it didn’t end well.

🚑 As for Married to Medicine, this one is like watching a train wreck for me. You’d think that a group of women who are doctors and/or married to doctors would be somewhat mature, but no. However, it’s flabbergasting to see how incredibly childish they are. Hats off to Dr. Jackie, often the only voice of reason. She finally blew a gasket last week, while doing a nude photo shoot for breast cancer awareness. She’d invited the girls along for support, but they couldn’t stop their loud, petty quarreling for five minutes, and she had to kick them out. It’s a shame that a show that could have so much going for it, frequently reduces itself to Jersey Shore status. I’d also love to know where they find these people. What are the odds of a medical maven also being the first to start a bar brawl? That’s not to say the ladies are one-dimensional – this season’s storyline about Simone’s missing father is heart-wrenching – but they’re not kids and need to learn when to put a lid on it.