What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Jason starts to tells Sonny about what he and Curtis found out. Sonny says sorry, he’s distracted. Jason asks if he wants to tell him why.
Nell sees Tom at the bar. He tells her he’d like to take her picture some time. She tells him it’s not gonna happen, so turn around and get lost. She says she knows a loser when she sees one, and to get out before she calls security. As he’s leaving, he gets a call from Kiki. She says she was thinking about his offer of taking pictures, and asks if it still stands. She says she’d like to take him up on it.
Elizabeth talks to herself. Griff asks if she wants to talk to another human being.
Nina finds Dillon in the office. He’s delaying his attendance to the gala. She says time is precious, and if he doesn’t like doing something, he should skip it. She tells him, do what you want with whoever you want, because one day you’re down, and the next you’re on top of the world. She asks him if he sees a change. She’s been sexed up.
Valentin says Lulu figured it out, so let him confirm it. He and Lulu are Charlotte’s parents. Dante shoves him up against the wall. Geez. You’re welcome.
Nina says up down all around, and Dillon says she doesn’t have to go into detail. She says she hasn’t felt this great in a long time and he gives in, telling her she looks great. She says it’s nice to know someone has her back, since Nathan doesn’t. He asks if she told her brother, and she says it wasn’t like she broadcast it, he practically walked in on them. She says she has to hear about their sex life from Maxie, but too bad she doesn’t agree with Nina’s taste in men.
Valentin says he did nothing and is as much a victim as Lulu is.
Sonny asks Jason what he has. He explains how Curtis got involved, and how he wants to find out the truth. He says they got an ID on the guy who planted the bomb. He tells Sonny about rooting through the dumpsters, but Sonny isn’t listening; he’s flashing back to Nell. Jason says he’s sending the stuff to a lab, and asks if Sonny is hearing him, and if it’s about Nell.
Michael apologizes to Nell for being late. He promises the gala won’t be painful, but she says she has to bail.
Griff asks if things have blown over with Tom, and Elizabeth says it’s copacetic. He asks what about Franco, and she says with him, it’s never enough
Tom asks Kiki when she wants to get together. She suggests tonight. She has a friend who’s a painter and she can use his art studio. Tom tries to get her to come to his place, but Kiki makes it sound private and attractive, and he says he’s on his way. She tells Franco she’s good, and he says she’s excellent. He promises there won’t be any violence, just talking. Kiki says she’s staying there to make sure of it.
Dillon is surprised that Valentin is Nina’s new guy. He says some people don’t think he has a good reputation. Nina says some people think he doesn’t either. Dillon says he hasn’t been arrested for murder. Nina says she was, and was proven innocent. She asks if he’s even met Valentin. She tells him he shouldn’t judge someone by their family history, so don’t jump to conclusions. He says okay, but it’s exhausting defending someone you love. Nina says if defending someone you love exhausts you, you’re doing something wrong.
Lulu tells Valentin that he’s getting no sympathy – he kept her daughter from her for years. He says Stavros and Mikkos were monsters. He doesn’t regret his daughter, but he was used like she was. It was all Helena’s doing.
Nina tells Dillon that she’s not taking relationship advice from him, and asks when was the last time he had a date. He says he’s too busy to date. She says she understands, but she likes to be busy. He suggests some delegation, and she says she’ll look into an assistant after the holidays. He says he knows someone who will be perfect.
Franco tells Kiki that Elizabeth has made it clear she doesn’t want violence. He just wants to impress upon Tom that’s it’s better if he seeks fame and fortune away from Port Charles. He says she’s welcome to stay, but it stays between them. She says if he’s worried about Elizabeth’s disapproval, maybe he shouldn’t do it. He says he wants to protect Elizabeth’s privacy. Dillon calls and asks Kiki to meet him at Crimson. She tells Franco she thinks he has it under control. She promises not to say anything, but he has to promise not to do anything stupid. He says it’s all about moving forward.
Nell is worried that Michael is wearing black tie and she isn’t. He says it’s not a big deal, but she says not for him – he belongs to one of the most powerful families in Port Charles. She says next time give her advance notice, so she can save up for a ballgown and not ditch him. He asks her to give him ten minutes.
Sonny says he doesn’t want Jason involved. He can’t help him with this. He says it has nothing to do with Morgan; it has to do with Carly. Jason is like, no. Sonny says he’s Carly’s best friend and he doesn’t want to put him in a position. Jason says he’s already there, and asks if it’s still going on. Sonny says it was just once; he was crazy, thinking about Jax being with Carly, and he really doesn’t remember. Jason thinks he has to tell Carly.
Michael comes back with a Hawaiian shirt under his tux jacket, and flip-flops. He says it will be hard to dance in them, but he’ll give it a try. They leave for the gala. I just have to say it. They keep trying with Michael, and keep pairing him with different women, hoping there will be chemistry. It’s not the women; it’s him. Whatever it is, it’s just not there.
Dillon steers Kiki to Nina’s office. He thinks they should talk about her being Nina’s assistant. He explains what the job would entail. Nina says she doesn’t have to answer now. She has to leave and they’ll talk when she gets back. Dillon asks if Kiki wants the job, and she says no.
Maxie tells Valnetin, sure, let’s blame the person who’s dead and can’t deny it. Valentin says Stavros couldn’t have children, so Helena had to change plans. He says Daphne seduced him, kept a sample, and took it to Helena. She drugged him, and by the time he realized what happened, it was done. Nathan asks what about Claudette.
Griff says in all fairness, Franco was trying to protect Elizabeth. She says she doesn’t need protecting. She doesn’t need anyone fighting her battles.
Tom goes to the studio and sees a crazy-looking painting of himself. Franco asks if he likes it, then jumps him. So much for no violence. He knocks Tom out.
Valentin says he was appalled and furious when he found out. He stole the embryo before Helena could have it implanted. Lulu said he could have come to her. He says he just wanted to be with his daughter, so he recruited Claudette. She took advantage of his legal problems and took Charlotte. Nathan says she just wanted to protect Charlotte. Valentin says she had no right. Lulu is Charlotte’s mother, and now she’s free to be.
Sonny tells Jason that he and Carly are just getting above water, and now this. Jason says people do crazy things, but they love each other and will come back from it. Sonny says she won’t understand; he barely understands. He says she came by the other day and he thought there was a chance of them getting back together, but if he tells her he slept with her assistant, it will be over.
Michael and Nell joke on the balcony at the gala. Nell tells him it’s an uptight people he runs with. He says they’re not his people, and she must be used to boring events being a teacher. They talk about Josslyn, and Michael wonders how Nell can stand being around his family. He wonders if a part of her resents and blames them.
Kiki doesn’t think it’s a good idea that she and Dillon work together. Dillon says being Nina’s assistant would be a steady paycheck until something better comes along. He says instead of accusing him of having ulterior motives, she should look at herself. She asks what that means, and he tells her that she’s punishing herself for choosing him over Morgan. Kiki slaps him. A lot of that going around.
Sonny tells Jason that Nell considers it a big mistake like he does. Jason thinks he should tell Carly, but Sonny says there’s no future if this comes out. Jason says there’s no if, eventually it will.
Nell tells Michael that there’s no resentment. She’s glad for her new life. Michael says he is too.
Kiki apologizes. He tells her good luck finding a job and walks out. Nina comes in and Kiki tells her about the argument. Nina says what does she expect. Dillon is crazy about her.
Griff says he’s never seen Elizabeth as frail and needy, and doesn’t think Franco does either. He thinks it might just be another way of Franco showing the world he’s not who he used to be.
Tom wakes up in a large dog crate. Franco is sketching him. He tells Tom not to move, so he can capture his likeness. Tom starts banging around, saying he’s going to kill Franco. Franco sprays something at him.
Dante says what Valentin did was criminal. Valentin says he saved his daughter from a miserable life under Helena’s thumb. If Lulu wants to see her, she knows where they are. He exits, stage right.
Kiki asks Nina if Dillon talks about her. Nina says of course, but even if he didn’t she has eyes. Kiki says Dillon is a great guy and if things were different… Nina says, but they’re not. She says there’s no rule book for grieving, but there comes a point where you need to move on to someone wonderful. She thinks about Valentin. Kiki says what happens if by the time the grieving is done, he’s gone. Nina says maybe your time is up.
Dillon runs into Valerie at the bar. She says she thought the gala would be fun, but she also thought she’d have a date. Dillon asks about Curtis, and she tells him that it’s over. He asks if she wants to get out of there, and she says yes.
Kiki thanks Nina for the advice. Nina’s phone rings. It’s Valentin. He asks if she’s free and she says give her an hour. He says he has to get back from the city and he’ll explain later.
Dante tells Lulu that they’re going to put Valentin away. Lulu says all she cares about is Charlotte. She has a daughter that she’s never held, kissed or said I love you to. Dante says Valentin can’t go on playing a game with her. She says she has no choice but to play along, but he picked the wrong Spencer. She’s going to win.
Nell needs Michael’s jacket, and they complain about the cold weather. She says she hasn’t forgotten why she’s here; she’ll never forget. Michael goes inside to get something.
Jason says it’s going to read in Sonny’s face and voice. He needs to get in front of it. Sonny says knowing would be worse. He’s not going to say anything, and neither is Nell, so how is anyone going to find out? Jason says there’s also him.
Michael comes back out, and Nell is gone.
Elizabeth asks Griff to cover for her. She needs to see Franco. Her life is better with him in it, and when he’s insecure, he acts out.
Tom is wearing a shock collar, and Franco tells him that this is the more humane method of training. He says it’s set for beagle, but can be set for a German Shepherd. If he argues, he’ll get a shock; if he tries to escape, he’ll get a shock; if he misbehaves, he’ll get a shock. It’s so simple even a dog can learn it, and he’s a dog. Franco tells him to speak, and says he’ll be trained in no time. Tom asks what then, and Franco says that would be telling.
Tomorrow, Michael asks Carly if she and Sonny are getting back together, Hayden is getting sicker, and Elizabeth shows up at Franco’s loft.
If there was ever a need for a very special Vanderpump Rules, this would be the one. The shooting in Orlando has just happened, and it coincides with Pride Day in West Hollywood.
The servers gather for a meeting with Lisa. Everyone is excited about Pride Day. Lisa will be on the bus with the British consulate. She tells them she wants the job done properly, but it’s a party atmosphere. Lisa says this is the biggest day of the year for both PUMP and SUR. Jax confirms that James isn’t allowed in the restaurants. Lisa distributes the servers’ outfits. Katie says they look like baby onesies. In her interview, she says the costumes get smaller every year, and pretty soon they’re going to be serving drinks bare-ass naked. Lala doesn’t want to try hers on since she’s not wearing underwear. Katie hopes they burn the chair she’s sitting in.
Tom tells Jax that Ariana is doing a photo shoot for her cocktail book. He thinks the book would be better if he was involved, since she just looks at it as a job and for him it’s a career. <choke> Scheana gives the guys the dirt on Lala’s married boyfriend, saying that his wife found a lot on his phone, and they have to break up now. They discuss Lala’s Range Rover, another never-ending topic, and Tom seems to think she could have won it. Scheana says she’s made up a dozen stories about how she got it. Jax says he doesn’t believe anything that comes out of Lala’s mouth. Both Tom and I sigh.
Stassi comes to SUR and tells Lala she wants to be in Katie’s station, where it’s okay to be working on your winter body. Ha-ha! Stassi meets a couple of her friends there, blonde twins from NYC. She thinks they probably clicked because they all like to drink so much. They ask Stassi if she’s ever been to the Hamptons and she hasn’t. The first weekend of the season is also Stassi’s birthday. We flash back to the horrible birthdays she’s had.
Katie and Scheana bring their drinks. Stassi says she wants to do a fun birthday trip to Montauk, but they have no clue where that is. Scheana’s vision of the Hamptons is a rich beach that New Yorkers flock to on weekends in the summer, and she pretty much hit the nail on the head. They all toast to Montauk.
Harrison! Lisa comes into SUR. Tom tells her Stassi is there and she stops by the table to say hello. She tells Stassi they do have food to go. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ariana’s business partner comes to SUR and they discuss the cocktail book. Ariana has cleared it with Lisa to take photos there before SUR opens. Tom gives more than his two cents, and basically embarrasses her. He claims he’s being motivating without being annoying, but at least recognizes he’s failing at it. Ariana’s brother comes in to take the pictures. Ariana goes behind the bar and makes cocktails. Tom thinks they should be having more fun. In her interview, Ariana says he’s jealous since he wasn’t approached for the project. Apparently, he doesn’t like it when the attention isn’t on him. When they’re finished, he says he could have done it better. Wow.
Scheana invites Brittany to Stassi’s birthday weekend, but it’s the same weekend as Ariana’s birthday. Scheana is surprised she hasn’t gotten an invite yet. Lala says they should take a private plane so they can do both things, and she can hook them up. In her interview, Katie says it sounds like a whore. Maybe so, but definitely a rich whore.
Tom and Ariana meet Lala for lunch. Tom wants to do the “hot Asian,” which is apparently a menu item, and jokes abound. They talk about the Pride parade. Lala wants to wear pasties with tassels. Tom and Ariana invite her to Ariana’s birthday. The also make plans to do NASCAR the following weekend.
Tom tells Lala what Jax said about her boyfriend. She says she doesn’t understand where the rumors are coming from. No one will tell her the name of the guy or any other information. In her interview, Lala makes a joke about sleeping with Scheana’s father. She tells Tom that she’s dating a pro football player, but won’t tell them who. Tom says he doesn’t even watch football.
The cocktail book comes up. Tom gets over-involved, and Ariana tells him to slow his roll and quit rolling his eyes. He says everyone asked why she’s doing a book and not him. She says she’s worked for ten years in the best places, and he says with a Grumpy Cat reputation. Lala says they should have an adult conversation at home about it, and Ariana says they tried that and Tom can’t do it.
The shooting in Orlando happens. Lisa is interviewed for the news. In her interview, she says it was a heinous act of terrorism against the LGBTQ community. She wonders if they should abandon the parade and show a moment of darkness, rather than celebration, and should they stand up or fear for their safety? She tells Katie it’s up to everyone what they want to do. Katie says she’s anxious, sad, and fearful. Lisa tells her not to stay for her, and Katie thinks it’s a better idea to stay home.
Peter and SUR manager Nathalie talk about the shooting. Peter is a bit freaked out, and Nathalie tells him that a guy was just picked up with some guns not far away. Lala is worried about her own ass. She says it’s a pet peeve for her when people say just carry on and not let them win. She says people are dead, so they’ve won already. She’s decided to create music with James instead. Idiot.
Katie talks to Schwartz, who remarks on the senselessness of the shooting. Tom arrives, and she tells him about her conversation with Lisa. Tom says he’d been looking forward to drinking and celebrating, and now it’s crazy. Stassi comes by with her way cute dog. They talk about the shooting. Katie says it could happen anywhere, and she shouldn’t be afraid to go outside, but she is. In her interview, Stassi says it’s put things in perspective, and they need to be together and be safe. Schwartz talks about the oppression of the gays and Tom starts crying, which makes the girls cry. Tom wonders if he should go into SUR. He’s having a hard time keeping it together.
Peter calls Lala, who hasn’t bothered to call in. He calls Tom to see if he’s going to bartend. He doesn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable, but he needs people to work.
Lisa looks beyond amazing in a red strapless satin dress and matching hat. And earrings that look like the vampire ones I got at Spirit Halloween, although I’m sure hers cost more than $7.99. She says she’s getting on the bus and standing in utter defiance of what’s happened, because today is about standing up for what they believe in.
Lisa tells the driver to get the show on the road. The parade is fabulous, and there are actually tons of people there. Lisa does the Windsor wave.
Stassi says there wouldn’t be a parade if there wasn’t Lisa on a bus, which has to be the quote of the millennium. Schwartz tries to get the group to go, and Tom says he thinks he’s going. Katie says she has a hard time focusing when she’s upset. In his interview, Tom says he understands why someone wouldn’t want to go in, but Lisa got herself there, so he thinks it’s only right that he go too.
Brittany and Jax show up for work at Brittany’s insistence. Peter is surprised. Ariana and Tom show up next. Tom says he wasn’t going to let it stop him. I love these rainbow chains they’re wearing as necklaces and want to know where I can get one. Tom says it seems petty to be arguing about a book after what happened. Brittany has a shot before starting work. We find out that a Fireball shot is $11 and watch Jax guzzling them for free.
Tom apologizes to Ariana when they’re on break. She says it didn’t help. He says he felt horrible afterwards, and doesn’t like arguing with her. He thinks he has pent up stuff about her doing the book. In his interview, he admits being jealous. He says he should have been supportive and happy for her instead of making her opportunity about him. I have to admit, that’s a pretty grown-up analysis. Ariana says it’s stupid to be fighting. She doesn’t want to use the phrase “wake-up call” when it comes to Orlando, but it is. They’re both glad they came out. No, not that kind of coming out; coming out to the festivities.
Schwartz finally shows up. Everyone is astounded. He’s glad to see the festive spirit has prevailed. He wanted to show the community some love. Hmm… that’s a tough call as to whether him staying home might have been a better choice.
Lala shows up at James’s place. She doesn’t want to think about the sadness going on around her. She asks if James knows about Ariana’s birthday. He’s sure he’ll be invited. Lala says Jax and Brittany are going to be there, so don’t be so sure. He asks why she changes the mood all the time. She says today is not the day. She just had to break up with a dude and she’s sensitive AF. She says he broke up with her, and James says he doesn’t know this stuff unless she tells him. He doesn’t even know who the guy is. In his interview, like Scheana, he says Lala tells him a different story all the time, and he doesn’t believe any of them. Lala says that he never has to go into the restaurant again, but she still has to work with the people there. She was taking it out on her boyfriend and he’s obviously over it.
Lisa arrives at PUMP. She makes a mini speech, thanking everyone for coming. She applauds their courage, especially in the face of security threats, and says this is what they do; they unite and stand defiantly in the face of a heinous act. Like a flag being dropped at the beginning of a race, she tells everyone to f-ing party.
PUMP is wild and in full swing. Tom says he’s never jumped on the bar before, but today it’s an m-f-ing priority. Ken covers his eyes before going into the restaurant. Peter tells Lisa this is the craziest Pride Day he’s every been a part of. They agree everyone came out stronger. Tom tells Lisa that he appreciates how she got on the float anyway. Jax says she has more balls than they do, and she says don’t worry, they’ll find them.
Lisa says she’s happy to have a place where the LGBTQ community feels comfortable. Today was about love and acceptance, and she’s glad she was there to celebrate with them. Everyone does happy Pride toasts.
Next time, Stassi interviews Jax on the radio (!), Lala confronts Katie, and Stassi tells Scheana to stop being an a-hole.