December 20, 2016 – Tom Uncaged, Erika Sans Underwear & Caroline #1 Unhinged


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Elizabeth introduces Tom’s brother, Seth, to Franco. Seth hasn’t seen Tom since he stopped working at GH. He knows Franco threatened Tom, and Elizabeth asks Franco if he did anything.

Tom gets out of the cage. He tries to get the shock collar off.

Laura talks to herself, practicing a thank you speech. Doc hears her and asks if she needs a psychiatrist. She says she’s trying to come up with something coherent to say to the committee. He says the meeting is just a formality for her joining the hospital board. He suddenly realizes she’ll be his boss. Well, kinda, but not really. That’s still Monica.

Anna flashes back to someone whistling the song that Valentin taught Charlotte. She asks Charlotte if she can tell her anything more about the song, like how Valentin learned it.

Lulu tells Dante she has no intention of giving Charlotte back.

The alarms next to Hayden’s bed go off. She’s not breathing.

Tom finally gets the collar off and kicks some things around. He tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

Seth says Franco came over to his house, which is breaking and entering, never mind the assault. He says that Tom always answers his texts, and unless he gets some answers, he’s going to the police. Code blue is called, and Elizabeth jets. Franco says he’s sorry he resorted to violence, since violence is almost never the answer, but on the other hand, can Seth blame him for wanting to protect Elizabeth? Seth says he can’t.

Lulu asks Charlotte to come sit with her and Dante. Charlotte wants to stay with Emma, but Anna convinces her to go. Emma asks why Anna keeps asking about the song, and she says she just thinks she’s heard it before. She asks how she and Charlotte are getting along. Emma says they had fun, but she feels sorry for Charlotte because she hasn’t seen her mommy in a long time.

Lulu suggests that she and Charlotte look at the Christmas decorations, but Charlotte says she did that already. Lulu asks if she’d like to go to their house, but she says she wants to go home. This is going well.

Laura says she can separate her personal and professional life. Lucy comes along and congratulates Laura on being on the board. She mentions that Laura will be Doc’s boss.

Finn uses the defibrillator on Hayden. He screams at Hayden to start fighting, but nothing happens. Elizabeth tells Finn it’s been too long, but he refuses to quit. Her pulse comes back. Elizabeth says there might be complications, but Tracy thinks she’ll probably come back more irritating than she was before. Finn tells Hayden not to make a liar out of Tracy. He asks her to come back for him. He thinks they have a chance to “you know,” and says they have unfinished business. He says, sweetheart, come back to me, and Hayden opens her eyes. She asks if he just called her sweetheart.

Seth tells Franco if he finds out that Tom met with foul play, he’ll be the first stop. Franco says maybe he’s out on a bender, and thinks Seth should be more concerned that Tom is out causing trouble.

Tom yells his head off while the music continues to play. He digs around until he finds a paint scraper. He tries to open the door with it.

Lucy tells Laura not to play favorites just because she and Doc are in love. She steers Laura toward the meeting, babbling about what Laura needs to know.

Anna tells Emma that Charlotte has her father too, but Emma says Anna doesn’t like him. She tells Anna that Charlotte loves her father. Emma is starting to remind me of a young Margaret O’Brien.

Lulu asks if Charlotte wants to go ice skating, but she repeats that she wants to go home. Dante suggests that she help them decorate the tree, but that’s also a no. Valentin walks in and Charlotte runs to him.

Hayden wants to know why everyone’s looking at her. Tracy says she died, and Finn says just a little. She says she must be in hell, but Elizabeth says it’s just GH. She talks about seeing a white light, and when they all go, really? she says no. Ha-ha! Tracy tells her that Elizabeth helped save her, and Hayden says she guesses they’re even now. Elizabeth leaves to do nurse stuff. Finn says he was so afraid he’d die on her, he never thought of her dying on him.

Seth tells Franco that Tom still has bad impulses. Franco says he’s done some bad things, but there’s someone in his life who inspires him now, and he’s going to keep trying. Seth says maybe Tom will meet someone like that, but Franco says he already has, and he’s not going to do anything to risk losing her because of someone like Tom. He suggests Seth go home, and says Tom will probably show up by tomorrow. After he’s gone, Elizabeth tells Franco that she heard what he said and hugs him. She says Hayden almost died, and she realizes how much time she’s wasted.

Tom has no luck getting the door open, but is able to stop the music. He screams for help.

Emma asks why Anna doesn’t like Charlotte’s dad. Anna says she just has a couple of questions about him because he’s a mystery she needs to solve. Emma says she can go on a playdate to Windemere and get her some answers. Already a budding spy like her parents.

Charlotte asks Valentin if they’re going home. He says he needs to talk to Lulu and asks her to sit at another table. Lulu asks why he’s there, and he says Nina was concerned that she might not return Charlotte. She says Charlotte is her daughter too, and he’s interfering with their time together. He tells Lulu that they have to come up with an equitable way to share her. He goes back to Charlotte, and Lulu tells Dante that he’s playing games. She says she’s going to take Charlotte and run. Dante is like, bad idea, and she says she’s going to fight for full custody.

Finn tells Hayden that her organs are shutting down, and Hayden asks how they stop that. He says he has an idea but needs more information. He thinks he’s discovered a cure, but if it doesn’t cure her, it could kill her.

Anna tells Emma that under no circumstances is she to spy on Charlotte and her father. She’ll get answers herself without Emma’s help. She says Emma isn’t going to Windemere without supervision either. Valentin comes over to introduce himself to Emma, and asks if she’d like to help Charlotte eat some cookies. She goes off to join Emma, and Valentin tells Anna he hopes Emma and Charlotte can be friends despite how she feels about him. Anna says that’s fine, and he’s lovely with his daughter. She asks him about the song and if it has lyrics. He says they’re in Russian, and asks if she speaks it. She says he already knows she does.

Dante tells Lulu that she should rethink fighting for full custody. He says Charlotte barely knows her.

Elizabeth doesn’t want to keep herself at a distance, and end up thinking what might have been. She tells Franco that she doesn’t want to waste any more time not trusting him. Franco says if she really ever wants to talk about his past, that’s fine. She says he’s changed and so has she. They kiss. He says he has to go, and she says that’s the story of her life. He tells her that he wants Christmas to be perfect, but Elizabeth says that she’ll settle for peaceful and uninterrupted. He says he’ll make her believe in Santa again. Ho-ho-ho.

Tom continues to holler. He says nobody is going to help him. He picks up a chair and puts it down again, sitting in it.

Finn tells Hayden that he was going to test the cure on himself, but she needs it more. She asks if he can make more of it, and he says probably. He says they need to make a decision now, because if she flatlines again, she won’t make it back a second time. She asks what happens to him, and he says they’ll figure it out. He asks if she wants to take the chance.

Laura tells Lucy that her first act will be to secure the funds for the Nurses Ball. Lucy says for once a board member with the sense God gave a goose. She tells them to get back to what they were doing before her interruption, and if anyone can handle an employee romance, it’s them. Doc tells Laura that he’d put her on the spot when he told her he loved her, and wonders if they can just continue to move forward She says she doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Dante tells Lulu that it’s too early to fight for full custody, and they should see how it goes. She says she can’t let a murderer raise her daughter. Dante says to look at it from Charlotte’s perspective. If Lulu takes away her father, she’s not going to score any points.

Valentin and Anna discuss speaking Russian. Valentin tells Anna that the phrase he learned as, “Don’t give up” really translated to “Hold your tail as a weapon.” She seems to recognize this, but doesn’t say anything.

Elizabeth asks Hayden how she’s doing. Hayden says she’s just in time to say good-by before Finn gives her what could be a miracle drug or a lethal injection.

Franco gets back, and Tom has returned to the cage. He tells Tom that Santa came early for him this year; he’s letting him go. I would not trust Tom as far as I could kick him, and I think he probably has a weapon.

Laura says ever since Doc said he loved her, she hasn’t been able to think of anything else. She wakes up with a happy feeling for no other reason. She says she finds herself smiling throughout the day. She doesn’t know if it’s the right time, but she can’t hold back anymore – she loves him too. He tells her he loves her and they kiss. Lots of that happening today. She realizes she’s going to be late, and Doc says go get ‘em.

Dante says if Lulu wants what’s best for Charlotte, she’ll wait and let Charlotte spend time with her. Anna comes to get Dante. Valentin tells Charlotte to say good-by to Lulu and thank her. She hugs Lulu and runs off. Valentin tells Lulu that he’s sorry that they got off to a rough start.

Anna tells Dante that she’s certain she’s crossed paths with Valentin before, and it has to be when she was training for the WSB

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte will know her as her mother sooner than he thinks. She’s suing for full custody.

Franco tells Tom that after talking to Elizabeth, he wondered what he’s doing and that it’s wrong. Tom deserves to be punished, but it’s not Franco’s job. He tells him to leave Elizabeth alone and they can get on with their lives. He unlocks the cage and Tom gets out. He grabs Franco from behind and puts a cloth over his nose and mouth.

Elizabeth tells Hayden they’ll fight like the sisters they are for the rest of their lives. Tracy says it’s no fun putting her in her place when she’s down, so she has to fight to get better. Hayden tells Finn that if she makes it, she’ll never let him go. He says he’ll find a way to keep going and kisses her.

Tracy and Elizabeth watch as he gives her the shot.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Jason what he knows, Tom turns the tables on Franco, and Heather wonders why Elizabeth would be visiting her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR is going to NYC to visit one of her daughters who’s starting a modeling career.

Kyle is also there with her daughter Sophia. She goes to the city often, and rotates who she brings along, but says Sophia is most like her. They both have so much anxiety about everything, I’m surprised they can handle it.

LisaV visits Dorit with Harrison. She’s planning Ken’s next birthday, and wants some help in finding a gift. Last year, she got him a mini pony, but I think it was really for her. Dorit says Lisa brings out the fun in her, and they’re two peas in a pod.

Erika has some shows coming up and is also working on a new video. She comes to rehearsal and watches what the dancers have been working on so far. Her assistant gives her the schedule of the million things that need to be dealt with.

Dorit and LisaV go to a jewelry store to look at watches. Lisa sets Harrison on the counter and wipes his nose with her dress. Celebrities! They’re just like us! The clerk doesn’t bat an eye. Lisa is shown an over-blinged almost-a-million dollar, watch, but says if she buys it, she’ll have nothing left over for shoes. The perfect watch is found. Lisa likes Dorit because she isn’t super sensitive.

Kyle is opening a store in NYC since she did so well in the Hamptons. She takes a look at the space. LisaR joins her. Lisa says it’s a great area. It’s on the Upper East Side and Kyle says they’ll have to sell a lot of dresses to pay the rent. Truth! Kyle wants Harry to help out with some shelf-building. In her interview, Lisa explains that he’s handy that way, being too cheap to hire someone. Lisa says that Kyle will have to get in line, because everyone wants a piece of Harry.

LisaR talks to Kyle about making up with LisaV. Kyle says it’s good that LisaV said she wants to move on. In her interview, Kyle says that the things she’s gone through with LisaV are small in comparison with what went on with LisaR, but she thinks it’s all going to be put in a box and put away. In other words, swept under the rug.

Dorit’s baby has to wear a headband due to sleeping too much on one side and flattening her skull. (!) Dorit says she loves her kids, but depends on her nannies who are an extension of her. Her son arrives back from speech therapy. She’d started getting concerned when at 2, he wasn’t making an effort to speak. She’s worried that she’s not seeing as much progress as she’d like. He does want to drive the car though, so maybe he’s not as behind as she thinks. She says it would be easier to get Boy George to date women than negotiate with a two-year-old. Another truth!

Eileen and Vince are going to her mother’s house for a final good-by. In her interview, Eileen chokes up, talking about how when her mother first started struggling with dementia, she was aware of it and afraid. They look at family photos. She says in some ways, it’s a relief that her mother isn’t suffering anymore. The house has been sold, and she says it’s a certain finality in saying good-by to everything that was her mother. She says closing the door to the house is symbolic of closing the door to her mother’s physical existence on earth, but she’s still there in spirit. I so understand and empathize with how she feels, as I had a similar experience when my father passed away, although he died suddenly and had no lingering illness.

LisaR says a part of her wants to reach out to Yolanda, but she screwed it up, and has to live with it. We flash back to all that. She’s meeting with some of her daughter’s modeling people. They discuss Delilah’s career and her manager thinks she’s on the fast track. Lisa talks about her labor pains and how big Delilah’s head was when she was born. Delilah is embarrassed and so am I. She talks about everyone thinking Delilah was deformed and Harry asking for a hat. Some photos are taken.

Harrison! Tiny ponies! Giggy! When are LisaV and Ken going to adopt me? Lisa gives Ken his present, and we flash back to the birthday parties she’s thrown for him. This year, it’s just going to be the two of them. He loves the watch. It is pretty nice. She says the greatest gift she’s given Ken is the children…and a bj in the car. They compare Giggy and Harrison’s hair loss. Lisa says Harrison went from the pound to a palace. Really, I won’t take up much space. They’ll never even know I’m there.

Lisa is looking for an apartment for Max. She says before they help their children, they like them to struggle first. She’s seen him live in a grubby place, so now it’s time for a surprise. She says he’s worked hard and deserves to live better now. I like this idea. Everyone should have the experience of living on their own for a while, whether they have to or not.

Kyle meets LisaR for dinner with their girls. Lisa says they’re still like 2 and 3 in her mind. She’s leaving them by themselves for two nights, and she’s a little worried. She says the worst that could happen is they disappear, which would be pretty bad. Kyle asks what they have planned, since it’s not like they can go to clubs. The girls just look at each other and say of course not.

Delilah checks out a dating app and freaks at who she’s matched with. She explains to LisaR that you can’t even get on it without being special. Obviously, it’s not Tinder. Lisa wants to know how much she paid for it. Kyle thinks it’s sketchy at only nine bucks a month. Lisa explains she has to go to QVC and wants to be told everything is going to be okay. She says no dating app stuff while she’s gone. Kyle suggests no dates in the city.

Eileen feels like she can’t focus, so it’s time for some therapy. She tells her therapist that it’s almost embarrassing to have lost so many people and having to keep sharing the information. The therapist asks if there’s a limit on how many people are allowed to die. Eileen lists all the people close to her who have passed away recently, and it’s a lot. She can’t understand why she feels the way she does. She talks about the disconnect between her parents, and says she was embarrassed that her parents didn’t get along when she was younger. The therapist says her knee-jerk reaction to things is shame. Interesting. She tells Eileen to stop trying to make things okay for everyone else. Eileen wants to work on being in the moment with what she’s feeling, and if she knew how much I hate that term, she wouldn’t use it in order to make everything okay. That’s my knee-jerk reaction from having heard it in acting school every five minutes.

Kyle calls Mauricio who’s in Mexico. She’s getting ready for a white party. Isn’t that racist? She calls LisaV with a fashion emergency – she needs nude-colored underwear because the white ones are showing through her jumpsuit. Some of the group gathers for a kiki before the party. Kyle tells them they’ve cast Alicia Siverstone to play her mother in the new show about her early life. Erika talks about her upcoming gig on The Young and the Restless. She’s praying she doesn’t disappoint Eileen. LisaV talks about her early acting career, and Ken suggests they were silent films. Erika is slightly taken aback and Ken says it’s just British humor. Erika says lets all put on British accents and insult each other, but PK says they don’t see it that way; it’s self-depreciation. Dorit thinks Americans should chill out and Erika reminds her she was born in Connecticut.

Dorit talks about how poised Erika is, and Erika says she’s guarded when she first meets people. LisaV explains that Kyle needs underwear, but Erika says she doesn’t have any. Why should she break up a beautiful design with a pantyline? I catch PK trying to take a look. Erika claims that she’s actually a shy introvert, but Dorit’s not buying it. They all leave for the party.

PK and Dorit discuss the party the next day. PK says the scenery was good, referring to Erika not wearing underwear. He says he couldn’t help but notice early on. Dorit says she doesn’t know if Erika deliberately flashed, but she doesn’t blame PK for being a man. He tells her about how distracting it was. Dorit says that she would never put on a free show like that, but thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, so she’s going to approach her about the whole thing. That ought to be good.

Next time, LisaR does her QVC thing, Dorit complains about Erika, and Erika receives a gift of underwear.

✈ A note on Ladies of London – the British highborn – they curse just like us! Caroline #1 refuses to be told what to do (i.e. have some manners), and leaves Mapperton early. Juliet leaves with her because she’s a brownnoser loyal. Julie seems to think a title intimidates Caroline. I think it’s way more than that, although I can’t fathom being intimidated by a title. It’s not like anybody works to get one. My husband is a marquis. You know what it’s gotten us? Nothing. And rightly so. Although I would like a nice castle…

I have to mention too, how much I like Caroline #2. She’s a little hippie-dippy, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so endearingly sincere, especially on a reality show.




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