Monthly Archives: January 2017

January 30, 2017 – Light Bulbs Come On at GH & James Gets an Expensive Nap


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Anna apologizes to Griff; she’d wanted to tell him about Claudette’s death herself. She brings him flowers, saying she’s sorry for his loss. He says Claudette made mistakes, but she didn’t deserve to die like that. Anna says she’s been there, and can relate to why he attacked Valentin.

Nina brings Valentin to The Floating Rib. She says he probably hates it since he’s used to five-star restaurants, but he tells her he used to frequent some pretty seedy places. They discuss the merits of dives, and Nina says the mac and cheese at the Rib is better than at the MetroCourt.

At the station, Kiki tells Dante and Nathan what happened with Sam. She says it’s been a lot longer than the fifteen minutes she said she’d wait. Nathan tells Dante he’ll deal with it while Dante makes out the search warrant for Alexis’s place.

Seth tells Elizabeth that Franco ran away to save himself. She says he wouldn’t go without telling her, and the only way he’d disappear is if something bad happened or he’s dead. We see the shelf of trophies again.

Franco tells Sam that he doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t think she’s worried about Julian though; he thinks she’s worried that Alexis is involved with Tom’s murder.

Alexis goes to the station. She tells Dante that she’s fully prepared to cooperate with the investigation into Tom’s murder.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s been doing research on how to explain surrogacy to a child. She gives him a story she made up about an egg, but Valentin prefers a more clinical approach. Nina says Charlotte will be hopelessly confused. She says she has a problem with Lulu spilling the embryo beans, but Valentin says what’s done is done, and that’s why they have to talk to Charlotte now.

Griff tells Anna that he preaches about the power of forgiveness, yet he’s constantly challenged by it in his own life. Yep, that’s usually how it works. He can’t forgive Valentin, and doesn’t know what to do. He needs to find some answers. Anna says Valentin did give up some of his secrets, and it’s given her a place to start. She says he claims that he’s grateful for her rejection, but she’s not buying it. Griff calls Valentin a murderer, but Anna says there’s no proof, and it’s only his opinion. If he continues to attack Valentin, he could end up arrested.

Elizabeth tells Seth that Tom turned the tables on Franco and escaped. Seth says, then he was murdered, and wonders how she can trust Franco. She says Franco has changed, but Seth says it’s a lie. She asks where that leaves his own brother, inferring that Tom didn’t change either.

Kiki begs Nathan to save Franco. Nathan wonders why Sam went by herself, and Kiki says she wanted to talk to Franco before the police did.

Sam wants to know why Franco suspects Alexis. He says that Alexis was there. He tells Sam about running into Alexis at Gene’s, and then finding the picture of her and Tom in a booth there on the night in question.

Dante interviews Alexis. Why isn’t Diane with her? He says there’s increasing suspicion that she was involved with Tom’s murder. She says she is; she killed him.

Nina asks when Valentin was going to tell Charlotte, and he says someday. He tells her that his father Mikkos died when he was young. He spent a lot of time in England because Mikkos was hiding him from Helena. Stavros was obsessed with Lulu, and harvested her eggs against her will. It was found out that Stavros couldn’t father a child, so Helena set up Valentin and Daphne, and Daphne drugged him. He says rather than having his child raised under Helena’s thumb, he stole the embryo.

Anna talks to Griff about Valentin’s past. She says his talent for linguistics at Oxford led him to training at the WSB. She tells Griff about Valentin’s boarding school burning down.

Nathan tells Kiki to stay there, and asks if there’s anything else. Kiki says Franco knew who killed Tom, and explains how he didn’t want to hurt the family. She says that the way Sam was acting, she thinks it has something to do with her. She tells Nathan that she doesn’t care if he arrests Franco on the spot, as long as he’s safe.

Sam tells Franco that just because Alexis was having a drink with Tom doesn’t mean she killed him. Franco says, well, he didn’t. She asks what he was going to do with the picture, and he says he wasn’t going to the police with it. She wonders if he’s still going to protect Alexis after the police get there.

Diane bursts into the interrogation room. She says Alexis was acting so weird, she followed her. She tells her to wrap it up and let’s get going. Dante says that Alexis just confessed to Tom’s murder. Alexis says she can’t live like this anymore. Diane tries to get Dante to leave, but Alexis says she needs her friend to listen to her.

Seth says Tom tried to become the man he should have been, and Franco did none of that. He tells Elizabeth that his mother is sick. She was happy Tom was home, but her health is going to plummet now. Elizabeth says sorry about his mom, but she’s not trying to bring more pain to the family; she just wants to find Franco. Seth says, face it, he’s not coming back. He tells her to see herself out. When he leaves the room, she she’s a scrapbook peeking out from under a chair. It’s opened to a page with Kiki’s picture on it.

Valentin tells Nina that when he stole the embryo, he was prepared to kill Helena, but she wasn’t there. He approached Claudette, who seemed like the perfect candidate for a surrogate. She double-crossed him, but took good care of Charlotte. He was going to wait until Charlotte was old enough to understand, and if she wanted to reach out to Lulu, they would do that. Now Charlotte is asking questions she can’t understand the answers to. He says he’ll always do whatever he can for his daughter. Nina says she’s lucky to have him as a father. He says he’s the lucky one. She brought him love he thought he didn’t deserve.

Anna tells Griff that Valentin resurfaced as Theo Hart, specializing in smash and grab jewelry heists. She thinks he used his profit share for his surgeries, explaining that he was disfigured and had scoliosis. She says that’s why she didn’t recognize him until he stammered. She tells Griff that he wasn’t a monster back then; he was a brilliant trainee, but something must have happened that he’s not telling her about and she can’t remember.

Dante questions Alexis about how she knew Tom. She says she got drunk with him the day of Morgan’s funeral, but she didn’t know who he was. She woke up in a motel room, worried that she’d slept with him, because she’d been having blackouts. She had a blackout the night he was killed.

Sam says Franco isn’t going to sacrifice himself for her mother. He tells her that if Alexis killed Tom, she had a good reason. She has a great life, but has been through a lot. He says he’d like to make up for the sleepless nights he’s caused Sam, so if the police hear about it, it won’t be from him. Franco coughs up some blood. Nathan busts in with some cops. Sam tells him that Franco needs to go to the hospital.

The scrapbook contains pictures of various women in it, including Elizabeth. She wastes time looking through it until Seth comes back out and sees her. What an idiot she is. I would have grabbed that thing and run.

Nina tells Valentin that they’re kindred spirits. She says she hasn’t led a blameless life either, but there’s a little girl whose life is at stake. Valentin says he won’t risk custody of Charlotte by doing anything stupid. He tells Nina that she’s unpredictable, wild, and lovely.

Griff has to run tests on Franco, since he was beaten pretty severely. Kiki comes into his room, and says she was worried, but she’s glad he’s alive. She and Elizabeth were losing their minds. He asks where Elizabeth is, and Kiki says she texted her.

Seth asks Elizabeth what the book is and where she found it. She tells him it was under the sofa. He says he’s never seen it before. He thought Tom got better, and he’d sworn that he didn’t have impulses anymore. Elizabeth says Franco was right, and it’s proof that Tom was still a predator.

Alexis tells Dante that she was drunk the next time she saw Tom, and told him she wasn’t interested. She left the bar, and he followed her outside. He grabbed her, and pulled out a knife when she screamed. She went into a primal rage and got the knife away. She says she raised her hand to stab him – Diane adds, in self-defense – and she must have stabbed him, since he was found dead the next day. Diane asks if she remembers killing him, but Alexis says that she only has flashes of memory. Diane says maybe she didn’t do it, and Dante can’t arrest her on the basis of what she just said.

Nina tells Valentin he’s very special to her, and her family means everything to her. She suggests that they start protecting their family and tell Charlotte. Anna interrupts and asks to speak with Valentin. She tells him that she understands why he held on to the picture – because she inspired him to remake his life. Nina asks what she’s talking about.

Dante asks Alexis if she had blood on her clothes. She says she checked, and there was nothing, but maybe she washed. Diane suggests not making the case for them, and reiterates that it was self-defense. Dante says they’ll check out her place, but maybe some pictures will jog her memory. He shows her a picture of Tom’s body In the alleyway, and asks if she remembers anything. She flashes back to getting the knife from Tom and coming after him. He begs her not to kill him, and she drops the knife. She tells Tom, screw you, and jets. In the present, she tells Dante that she dropped the knife and ran. She didn’t do it.

Franco’s vitals are stable, but Griff says he should rest. Nathan says he’ll be outside, and Franco says good, but where is he gonna go? Nathan says they’ll send in Elizabeth as soon as she gets there. Kiki wonders what’s keeping her, and Nathan tells them about her going after Seth. Out at the reception desk, Griff tells Sam that Jason should be fine. He’s taken her by surprise, and she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Elizabeth tells Seth that Franco is still missing, but now the police will take her seriously about him trying to protect her. She says Franco didn’t kill Tom, but there has to be something in there that’s a lead. She takes the book and says she’s going to the police with it.

Kiki leaves the hospital room. Franco remembers being in the storage unit and writing the note. He flashes back to looking at the trophies, wondering again where he’s seen them before. Seth’s house, you moron!

Anna says if there’s anything more Valentin needs to know just ask. She tells him something in (I think) Latin, and says he’ll know what it means. When she’s gone, Nina asks what’s going on between him and Anna.

Sam gets Jason’s room number and runs for the elevator.

Dante asks if Alexis saw anyone else. She says she was afraid, and just wanted to get home before anyone knew. Diane asks if Dante thinks she’s innocent, and he says he does. Diane says it doesn’t look like self-defense, but a brutal vengeful murder. Dante says his sights are still set on Franco.

Nathan calls the station and lets them know what’s happening. Kiki wants to check on Elizabeth, and tells Nathan that if she shows up to have her call.

Franco ponders where he’s seen the trophies. He remembers. He sits up and says Elizabeth is in trouble.

Seth tells Elizabeth that he should be the one to bring the evidence to the station. She suggests they both go, but he’s hesitant. She says she’ll meet him there, and moves to the door. Seth stops her from leaving.

Tomorrow, Ava and Sonny argue, Franco wants to talk to the cops, and Valentin comes clean with Nina… maybe.

Vanderpump Rules

Wesley, a Villa Blanca bartender, is getting a drink-making lesson from Tom and Ariana on what they do at SUR and PUMP. Lisa asks if Wesley knows any of the staff, and he mentions that James has been there. Lisa tells him to never serve James. Tom says he’s taking James to hypnotherapy to get a handle on his emotions, but Lisa thinks he just needs to drink less. Wesley says they haven’t had any issues with him, but he’s only been there once.

James’s mom, Jacqueline, meets him for lunch. The divorce has been hard on James. He hasn’t seen her in a while, and wants to catch up. He tries to explain the mess he’s made of his life, comparing it to having given Lisa too many slices of pie. Jacqueline says at the end of the day, people are jealous, and James agrees that he’s been a threat to some people. I realize your mother is your mother, but this guy seriously doesn’t have a clue. He invites his mom to his new gig. They talk about Raquel, and James tells Jacqueline that Kristen has been lying about him sleeping with women other than Raquel. Jacqueline says she’s probably barren and that’s going to be her karma. I fail to see how this would even things out, but I see where James gets his charm. Really. That was just weird. I wonder what James’s karma would be, since he’s lying about Kristen lying.

It’s time for Brittany’s mom, Sherri, to go back to Kentucky. She thanks her mom for being a good sport, especially about the roast. Sherri asks Brittany if she’s sure that Jax hasn’t cheated on her, and has some things she wants to talk to Jax about. I’m sure Jax will be thrilled and so forthcoming.

Jax comes in with healthy food. He tells Sherri that he’s glad she could share his birthday with him. He apologizes for not being able to take her to the airport because he has to work. In his interview, Jax says he loves Sherri, but the second she’s gone, he’s eating hot wings while watching Sports Center in his underwear.

Sherri quizzes Jax on being gay, but he tells her he’s never gone down that road. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Brittany thinks he’s being defensive, and he says he’s gotten that question before. She tells him that no one is attacking him, but he can’t get out the door fast enough. On his way out, he suggests Brittany tell her mom how she’s been sitting on the couch for a year while he takes care of her. Well, he might pay most of the bills, but she’s hardly sitting around eating bonbons all day.

After Jax leaves, Brittany apologizes to her mother, and says it’s not okay. In her interview, she says Jax tends to turn things around and make her the bad guy. Jax comes back in, and apologizes that Sherri had to see them argue. Sherri says she just wants them to be happy. Jax says that he gives Brittany everything, and asks for nothing in return except to do what he wants. Whatever that means. And what about the constant demand for turkey sandwiches? Brittany pops back in from the other room, saying she’s never stopped him from doing anything. She tells him not to act like she’s ungrateful, because that’s not in her character. Jax thinks the other girls have been influencing Brittany. Sherri stops things before it turns into a fight, and suggests again that they go to church. Jax says maybe he does need Jesus, and that he needs something.

Lisa checks out the new paint for the entryway at SUR. It’s a yes. Katie tells Lisa that Scheana was complaining to her about the cost of the shower. Lisa says that isn’t something that Katie should even be involved with. That should be a given, and I’m starting to think maybe Scheana was raised by wolves. In her interview, Katie wonders if she should have relinquished control of anything, but I don’t know of any bride who planned their own shower.

Schwarz goes for a suit fitting with his groomsmen, including Ariana. He’s getting a custom-tailored suit, and the groomsmen will be in black, with their ties matching his suit. Tom asks if they can wear vests, and pouts when Schwartz says he’d prefer not. Hans and Franz would have a field day with this girly-man. Schwartz ends up agreeing, and Tom compares it to Stassi crying and getting herself invited to the engagement party.

The bridesmaids are having a lunch, and Scheana finally forks over the money for the wedding events. Brittany tells the girls about Jax being defensive with her mother. Stassi says she can relate, since he used to start fights in front of her parents all the time. They discuss the bachelorette party. Apparently, the bachelor party will be in the same locations, because Kristen has texted Tom about going to New Orleans, adding that Vegas isn’t an option. Schwartz likes the idea of the Bahamas, but not everyone has a passport. Stassi suggests if they go to NOLA, she do the heavy planning, since that’s her home turf. In her interview, Scheana says that Stassi is back to steamrolling everyone and making it about her, like that isn’t a legitimate suggestion. Not to mention that Scheana spaces out if the topic isn’t about her for more than five seconds. Brittany asks Stassi if Ariana being a groomsman is awkward, since they’ve had a falling out, but Stassi blows it off. The groom agrees to NOLA.

Lisa accompanies Katie to a flower shop so she can help with wedding flower ideas. Katie tells Lisa how Schwartz says they don’t need flowers because he’s such a cheapskate. I’m a cheapskate that way too. When we were getting married, neither one of us were members of the church we were being married in. I couldn’t see the logic in spending hundreds of dollars for something that everyone was going to see for an hour and then got left in a place we had no connection to. For the reception centerpieces, we had bud vases with a single bloom in them. Elegant and inexpensive. Lisa brings up the argument that Katie and Schwartz had the other night, telling her that the mean texts that go back and forth don’t help anything. She tells Katie that they’ll have enough battles in their life to fight – they need to unite and fight the world together.

Tom tells James that hypnotherapy is about being the best version of yourself, and that James needs to get in control of his emotions because he tends to overreact. James is skeptical, since Kristen had him do crystal therapy. We flash back to that. He wonders if he’ll wake up a changed man. The therapist comes to his apartment, and they discuss his drinking. She says only he can make changes in himself, and asks what he wants. He says he wants to make music, but doesn’t want to present himself as a jerk. He has a performance coming up, A Study in Hollywood, and he wants it to be positive. In his interview, Tom says that underneath his defense mechanisms, James is a delicate guy. He actually says “delicate guy.” Delicate isn’t a word I’d use in regard to James.

The session is over. The therapist says he’s rejuvenated and full of ideas now. Yay! All better!

Ariana is going horseback riding, and brings Scheana along. In her interview, Ariana talks about her first horse, Raven, saying it’s hard to explain the relationship between horse and rider. She got Raven when they were both eight, and Raven died when they were both thirty. She chokes up, and although I’m not too keen on Ariana lately, I feel for her. Twenty-two years is a long time to have an animal. Scheana watches as Ariana rides, and Tom joins her. After Ariana is finished, Tom tells her about the hypnotherapy session. In her interview, Scheana thinks it’s going to take more than that to cure James, and says the way he treats women is disgusting. Agreed and agreed.

Tom tells them about Schwartz and Katie doing a prenup. Scheana says she’d never do something like that, but Ariana and Tom think it’s a good idea since you never know what’s going to happen.

Katie and Schwartz go to the lawyer’s office. In her interview, Katie talks about Schwartz’s frugal ways, and gloats a little about him having just spent $2500 for the prenup. Katie has no assets, and the lawyer laughs when he sees Schwartz’s list. They talk about sharing custody of their dogs in the event of a divorce, and how they would each keep their own money made throughout the marriage. In his interview, Schwartz says doing the adult thing is not fun. I get that they’re doing this in case they do make money someday, but this is probably the easiest money that lawyer ever made. I also wonder about their lack of assets, considering they have jobs at SUR and Vanderpump Rules is in its fifth season.

Scheana tells Ellie about running into James and Raquel. They decide to attend James’s gig and make him uncomfortable. Somehow, Scheana thinks this will make him take accountability for his actions. Imagine the sound the buzzer makes when you get the answer wrong on Family Feud.

Jax and Brittany go out for dinner. He apologizes for arguing in front of Brittany’s mom, and she says Sherri was pretty uncomfortable. He asks her about the church her mother suggested, and tells her that he used to go to church camp and recites some rhyme about keeping your elbows off the table. In his interview, Jax talks about holy oil and not understanding what it’s for. Brittany tells him about the girls planning to go to James’s gig. He thinks it’s a great idea, and she reminds him that he’s still on probation.

Schwartz, Katie, Tom, Ariana, and Stassi as the fifth wheel, go to a painting class. In her interview, Katie tells us that painting isn’t her strong suit, but in the words of Bob Ross, there are no mistakes, just happy accidents. Scwartz asks if everyone is cool with everyone. Stassi thinks Ariana speaks to her in a callous and condescending way. Ariana asks why she cares, and Stassi says because they’re friends with the same people. She’s uncomfortable for them, it makes people unhappy, and it’s hurting her feelings. Tom says that thing about only you can make you feel a certain way, which is what people say who have just hurt your feelings. Katie agrees that it’s making things awkward, and wants it to stop. In her interview, Ariana thinks Stassi is acting entitled, but I think she is being callous and condescending. She definitely has a superiority complex. In his interview, Tom says Katie can’t get upset because Ariana is included in the groomsmen activities when she tried to exclude her to begin with. Yes, young and clueless Tom, this is exactly the point. Katie didn’t want her involved with the wedding in the first place, and obviously no one, including the groom, cared about her feelings.

James says that this is the night he’s been waiting for, and he’s going to kill it. Kill what? His career? Tom wonders what Jax is doing there, and Jax says he has an ulterior motive. Tom tells him, I’ll bet. James does some rapping. He seems winded. It’s maybe okay, but I don’t think Kanye West has anything to worry about. Kristen and Carter arrive, and now Tom is like, wtf? He says it reminds him of The Matrix when the black cat walked by twice – something is about to happen. Kristen explains about GG and Ellie being there to make James feel unsettled.

GG introduces herself to Raquel, and Raquel suggests that GG is obsessed with James. GG tells her that she’s delusional, and asks if there are unicorns in her world. Ha-ha! James comes over, and then Ellie steps forward, giving him the clothes she borrowed when she slept over. He says she’s disgusting, that he’d never have sex with the likes of her, and calls her a slut. She slaps him, sort of, and Kristen calls Jax over to watch. Tom gets involved. In his interview, he says they don’t care about Raquel; they’re just mad that they slept with James. Well, yeah.

Somehow it starts. James gets in Jax’s face and then darts away. Jax throws his drink toward James, and James throws a glass that shatters. There’s a bunch of confusion, and Kristen gets James kicked out. Outside, James screams at Tom that all his friends are lowlifes and losers. In his interview, James says that Jax is jealous. Because this has to be the only reason that someone wouldn’t like him. Tom asks Jax what the blip, and Jax says James tried to kick him. In his interview, Tom says it’s not enough that James got fired from PUMP; they have to follow him somewhere else. Jax insists that James was antagonizing him, and Tom says that he can’t blame James. I guess the hypnotherapy didn’t work.

Next time, the boys raid Lisa’s closet, Raquel questions James’s loyalty, and Scheana throws a hissy fit.

Postscript: I saw James rap on the subsequent Watch What Happens Live, and he was marginally better, but I don’t think anybody has anything to worry about. His performance sort of reminded me of a bad rap version of Oliver!

January 27, 2017 – Franco is Found, You Can Always Go Downton, Slenderman Hits the Big Time, Thoughts & Quotes


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

I want Hayden’s necklace! I have a ring that almost matches it. Occasionally they sell replicas of the jewelry from the show on the ABC website – I vote for this one.

Finn and Hayden see Brad at the hospital. He says he needs to speak to them.

After dumping the wine outside, because the drain isn’t good enough, Alexis says she can do this, and starts to go back in the house. Dante pops out of nowhere, saying he needs to asks her questions about Tom Baker. She tells him that it’s not a good time, and he says they can do it here and now or at the station.

Nathan asks Elizabeth why she thinks Franco is innocent. She says despite his past, she believes that he’s changed, and the truth always comes out. Seth comes storming in, saying that Franco killed his brother.

Franco wakes up. Roger Howarth has the best hair, even under duress. He wonders where he’s seen one of the trophies before, and who did this to him.

Going back to the bar to find her phone, Sam finds Franco’s note on the floor – the yellow piece of paper on a dark clean and bare floor –  as well. She says this isn’t happening. Au contraire, it is. She calls Kiki, and says she needs to see her right away.

At the reception desk, Amy 2.0 wonders what’s going on with “those three,” referring to Brad, Finn, and Hayden. She says it’s definitely not a love triangle.

Brad tells Finn that the serum has a lot of potential applications. Hayden says they’ve recovered, but nothing else has happened, and maybe he’s getting ahead of himself. He thinks his name should be on the patent. Finn says the only thing he cares about is that the cure is available to people who need it, but Hayden thinks it might be good PR for the hospital. Griff interrupts, and Finn suggests he and Brad talk later.

Hayden has to get to work, but Griff replaces her, asking Finn if everything is okay, and telling him that his discovery is the talk of the hospital. He thinks science owes Finn a debt. Finn just happens to need a  favor.

Alexis tells Dante that she’s pressed for time, since she needs to prepare for the bar hearing. He asks if she knows Tom Baker. She asks why he’s asking. He says her name has come up during the course of the investigation, and she wants to know in what context. He asks her where she was on December 21st.

Nathan tells Seth there’s a warrant out for Franco’s arrest, but he’s missing. Seth suggests checking Elizabeth’s place. Nathan says there’s an APB out, but they need more evidence. Seth brings up Franco’s past character defects, but Nathan says they can’t go by his past. He storms out and Elizabeth follows. She tells him she wants to help.

Franco doesn’t know how long he’s been in the storage unit. He talks to himself, saying his abductor probably isn’t coming back. He pounds on the door but there’s a padlock on the outside. He says no one can hear him scream. Everything hurts, and he’s cold. He starts to draw with the nub of a pencil.

Kiki joins Sam. Sam shows her the paper and asks where she found it, asking for the address. Kiki gives it to her and asks why. Sam opens it, and Kiki sees the note. I’m hoping she’s feeling really stupid right about now. Kiki wants to go with her, but Sam says no.

Amy II approaches Hayden. She says she couldn’t help but overhear that Hayden almost died. Hayden says both she and Finn were almost dead, explaining that they both had the same fatal disease, but Finn was able to come up with a cure. Amy thinks it’s all incredibly romantic, but Hayden thinks it’s none of her business. Amy tells her that she and Finn are now a hot item.

Finn tells Griff about an old hockey injury that’s flaring up. He says the sports medicine doctor is at a conference, and wonders if Griff can help until he can get together a pain management plan. Griff knows from Finn’s X-rays that he has issues, and gives him a prescription for 10 pills. I assume painkillers.

Alexis says she doesn’t remember; it was over a month ago. She says if he was questioning a client, she would advise them to have counsel present. He says that she’s a lawyer, but she says she knows better than to represent herself. She tells him that Diane will be there soon if he wants to wait. He says that she’s not being accused of anything, but she refuses to answer any questions.

Sam says that there are things going on that Kiki doesn’t know about, and she has to talk to Franco alone. Kiki says that Sam hates Franco and besides, she’s pregnant. Sam says she’ll call Jason to come along, and promises that she won’t let anything happen to Franco. Kiki gives her fifteen minutes, after which she’s going to the police.

Franco sketches Elizabeth. He says he doesn’t know if he’ll make it out of there. He tried to be better for her and the boys, but doesn’t know if they’ll be together again. He flashes back to when they talked about collaborating, and says he loves her. He lies down again and falls asleep.

Seth says Elizabeth seems confused, but nice, and he’s sorry for what Tom did to her – there’s no excuse – but it doesn’t give her boyfriend the right to murder him. Elizabeth suggests they work together (my bad or I need glasses – I’d thought she was talking to Jason in the preview), but he says Franco is capable of anything. He locked Tom in a cage like a dog, and he’s guilty as sin.

Hayden tells revamped Amy that they’re only co-workers. Amy says she’s not a very good liar, despite her having been a con-woman. Hayden tells her to buzz off, and Amy apologizes, saying there’s not much going on in her own life. When she sees someone else happy, she can’t help being a cheerleader. She suggests Hayden share with Tracy, and Hayden scares her by saying Tracy is behind her. Amy says she wants to be Hayden’s friend and wonders if it’s love between her and Finn.

Finn wonders why so few pills, but Griff says he doesn’t want to overprescribe. Finn says the doctor is going to be gone for week, and Griff doubles the prescription. I don’t have an opinion here, since we have no clue what they are. I have this vision of Griff just writing “10 pills” on the script.

Alexis says she knows Dante isn’t trying to insult her, but he is. She tells him for the sake of their friendship and mutual family, they’re done. He says she knows where to find him if she changes her mind, but she says she won’t. He leaves and she slides down to the floor.

Elizabeth goes to Seth’s house and tells him that they need to talk. He says what for, since Franco killed his brother, but lets her in anyway. She says if she thought for a second that Franco did it, she wouldn’t defend him, but she needs to find the truth. She says there’s something confusing her. Something he said.

Sam goes (sans Jason) to the storage place. She calls out Franco’s name. She hears him say, “In here.”

Hayden tells Amy that there is a little something going on. Amy gets all excited, and Hayden asks her to tone it down. Amy says she’ll be the soul of discretion. Ha-ha! I guess Hayden hasn’t been around her much.

Griff has to leave, and Brad comes back to replace him. He tells Finn that he’s playing a dangerous game with his heath and his career.

Dante gets back to the station, and Nathan tells him about Elizabeth and Seth. Dante wants a search warrant for Alexis’s house. He tells Nathan what happened, and says somehow Alexis is involved.

Diane arrives at Alexis’s house. She says she has news about the hearing, but then asks if Alexis is okay. Alexis says something just happened, and doesn’t think she handled it properly. Diane has news, but Alexis says she doesn’t think she can go through with the hearing.

Elizabeth tells Seth that she heard him talk about Franco locking Tom in the cage. She knows it was confidential information, and wonders how he knew.

Kiki tries to call Sam, but her phone is dead.

Sam tells Franco that she’ll get him out. She calls Jason to bring her kit, but the call goes to voicemail. She starts to bang on the lock with a fire extinguisher.

Amy Part Two says she has the feeling that she and Hayden will be great friends. Griff tells Hayden that she must have had some great gossip, since it looks like she made Amy’s day. He says he’s glad she and Finn are feeling better, and it’s good to have them back.

Brad tells Finn he saw Griff writing the script. He says they both know about the addictive drug he’s been taking. Brad says if he’s trying to kick it, it might be harder than he realizes. He’s seen this kind of behavior before, and feels it’s his duty to disclose his suspicions. Finn asks what he wants, and Brad says now they’re getting somewhere. Wow. I thought Brad had cleaned up his act before he married Lucas.

Seth says that Tom told him about the dog cage. Elizabeth asks if Seth saw him. He says no, but he talked to him on the phone after he escaped. Tom was freaking out, and it was the last time he heard his brother’s voice. Elizabeth asks if Tom said how he escaped, but Seth said he was afraid Franco was coming after him. Elizabeth asks if he said anything about putting Franco in the cage. Seth wonders if that’s what Franco told her. She asks if Tom ever mentioned Gene’s or anyone he met there. She thinks someone else is responsible for Tom’s murder.

Diane asks if Alexis can explain, but Alexis says it won’t do any good. Oh, please, Diane is the person most on her side and a brilliant lawyer – why? Diane thinks her guilt, doubts and fear are stopping Alexis from wanting to be a lawyer again. She says Alexis just needs to relax, and fake it until she makes it. She says the judge who was supposed to chair the ethics hearing has the flu. She takes no pleasure in his distress, but he’s been replaced by someone who takes extenuating circumstances – which she suggests be the title of Alexis’s memoirs – into consideration, and thinks what’s being done to Alexis is a travesty. If she wants to reschedule, by that time, the other guy will be over the flu. Diane says Alexis is a good attorney and an upright moral person, and the law needs her. She asks aside from the jitters, if there’s any other reason why Alexis can’t make it.

Sam gets the door open. She finds Franco on the floor.

Brad says Finn is addicted to a designer drug that he no longer needs for medical purposes. He says for all he knows Finn’s plan might work, but he wants his share when the serum is patented. If he doesn’t agree, Brad will tell his superiors what’s going on.

Rebooted Amy asks if Griff has ever kept a secret, and tells him that Finn and Hayden are a couple. She adds to remember doctor/priest/patient confidentiality, but he says that’s not a thing. Amy says just don’t tell.

Finn tells Hayden that everything is cool.

Alexis is glad to have Diane in her corner. She tells Diane to go ahead without her. There’s something she needs to do first.

Dante thinks Alexis knows something. Kiki runs in. She says she thinks they’ve found Franco and Sam went after him.

Franco wakes up thinking Sam is a vison. She says she has to save his worthless ass, and he agrees. Sam asks who did this to him, and he says someone who was once good at basketball. She asks who he thinks it was, and if it’s Julian.

Seth says the sooner Elizabeth accepts that Franco killed Tom, the better. She asks him to consider that he might be wrong, and asks if he doesn’t want the murderer brought to justice. The camera pans over to a shelf full of trophies. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

On Monday, Seth tells Elizabeth that she’s never going to see Franco again, Nina wants to do what’s best for Charlotte, and Alexis wants to cooperate.

Downton Musings

Since even with 500+ channels, there is nothing to watch on the weekend – until everything is on at the same time Sunday night – I’ve been indulging in Downton Abbey. I’m no stranger to being late to the party. I didn’t “discover” Barry Manilow until 1979 (quit laughing and listen to his songs that weren’t top 40 hits), started watching Game of Thrones in season three, and got my first microwave in 1997. I was so excited, one of my neighbors asked if I realized they’d been around for a while. (Doomed eternally to a small kitchen, I hadn’t had the space before then.) While I’d caught an episode of Downton here and there, and had a general idea of what the show was about, I’d never actually followed the series.

Last New Year’s Day, not being much good for anything except goofing around on the computer, I parked the remote on channel 13 (PBS) and watched the final day of their Downton Abbey marathon. As it neared the end, my hungover self got FOMO every time they showed the over-priced gift set, containing 52 hours of the entire series plus bonus material. The clincher was the decorative bell plaque which you cannot get in their online store; they knew what they were doing. My husband was no help, encouraging me by saying it was really for charity. Hey, it came with a set of coasters too.

If, like myself, you’re unfamiliar with the show, it’s reminiscent of The Thornbirds, but there are more characters who are wealthy, instead of just Barbara Stanwyck, and it’s a million times longer. It’s got that same roller coaster feel though, and when things are going well, you just know the rug is going to get pulled out from under the whole thing any minute. There are all the standard requirements of a soap opera: a core family, bitches, villains, super couples, and the longsuffering. It’s soap of the utmost magnitude, Masterpiece Theatre soap. It has more ups and downs than your favorite roller coaster – a character getting left at the altar one minute and the family estate being saved from foreclosure the next. And it has Maggie Smith, with Shirley MacLaine guest starring. It has Elizabeth McGovern too, but I’m not sure how she ended up in the mix. We need an American immediately! I know, we’ll get that girl whose last memorable film was in 1980! And we’ll throw in a microwave while we’re at it. Not that she isn’t lovely and a wonderful actress; it just surprised me.

Sometimes things are worth the hype and this is one of those things. The story is gripping, the characters are intriguing; the casting and acting are on point. The costumes are to die for, and that house, that phenomenal house. One of the bonus features includes some behind-the-scenes footage of the cast on location there, with Michelle Dockery (Lady Mary) talking about how in awe they were of the place.

Since God forbid I should miss an episode of The Real Housewives of Anywhere, I’ve been watching it on the weekends, casting aside all Lifetime and Chiller movies, as well as my email. I’m in the middle of season three now, and I’m sure I’ll get the shakes when it starts getting close to the end. After that, I’ll watch the DVDs with the bonus material, and then maybe cry a little and eat some ice cream. At least the weekdays break things up. Before Mad Men’s final episode, AMC had a nearly week-long marathon of the entire series, and I saw most of it, getting very little sleep. Afterward, I felt lost, and longing for the 60s again, even though I barely remember them and was too young for any real fun. Since my obsessions often cost me money, I have a couple of props, bought at auction after the show ended.

The upside was a satisfying ending to the series, which Downton Abbey also has, although I think Six Feet Under wins Best. Ending. Ever. And even though I already do know the ending to this one, I won’t enjoy Downton any less.

Proof positive that I do watch more than trash on Bravo. Although no matter how you lather it, it’s still soap.


Married to Medicine is now on Friday night? And Grimm is now on at 8 pm, opposite it? Thanks a lot.

So sad to hear about Mary Tyler Moore’s passing. Even with all the celebrities dropping like flies – no doubt to get away from the Internet and all its angry people – that was a real surprise. I’ll bet Dick Van Dyke never thought he was going to outlive her. He still seems to be in pretty good shape, but geez, I’d watch out if I were him.

If you haven’t seen HBO’s Beware the Slenderman, give it a look. In 2009, Eric Knudson created the online boogeyman for a forum called Something Awful. A tall, faceless ghoul in a suit who terrorizes children (as adults, we call him the mortgage holder), Slenderman subsequently took on a life of his own, most notably on the website Creepypasta, becoming an urban legend, with many contributors adding to his infamy. In 2014, Morgan Geyser and Anissa Weier, both 12-year-olds at the time, stabbed their classmate, Payton Leutnor, and left her for dead. Their idea was to sacrifice her, so that Slenderman would spare them and their families, and they would go live in his mansion in a forest 300 miles away. Fortunately, Payton survived, and after much deliberation, her two attackers will be tried as adults. Since the part of the brain that understands consequences for actions isn’t fully developed until age 25, and both girls have been diagnosed with mental disorders, I find this a little disconcerting. The film is fascinating though, giving us Slenderman’s history, as well as interviews with the two girls’ parents (Payton’s family chose not to participate) and videos of their questioning. I’ve always loved true crime, and truth being stranger than fiction, this one is about as strange as it gets.

Quotes of the Week

At my age, one must ration one’s excitement. – Dowager Countess of Grantham (Maggie Smith), Downton Abbey

It would be wrong to think that you’re always right and correct and perfect and brilliant. Self-doubt is the thing that drives you to try to improve yourself.Helen Mirren, Esquire, August 2011

I’m woke, but I gotta live my life too. – Carlotta Brown (Queen Latifah), Star

January 26, 2017 – Franco on the Edge of Found & Something Completely Random


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Carly goes to Sonny’s place and sees something for Morgan in the mail pile. She tells Sonny she doesn’t know why she’s surprised, but she hasn’t had to deal with it since his main residence was at Sonny’s. Sonny shows her an entire pile of Morgan’s mail that he can’t deal with. He says he’s accepted Morgan is gone, but part of him doesn’t want to do that. He suggests they go through the mail together.

Elizabeth tells the others that they don’t have enough proof for either theory about Franco, and suggests calling the police.

Alexis stares at the two fingers of wine she just poured, and says she can do this. Whether she means drink it or not drink it, I’m not sure.

Michael gives Nell a keychain with tiny ice skates on it for when she decides to get back out there. He thanks her for the pep talk she gave Josslyn. Nell says all she did was repeat what Michael had told her, that you can keep finding people to blame or make the best of it. He hopes she can take it to heart as well, and get over her bad memories. She focuses on a picture of Carly and Sonny.

Sonny and Carly go through the mail. Carly wishes she could tell Morgan how proud she is that he kept trying. She sees some credit card bills, and Sonny says he meant to call, but kept putting it off. He wonders if he should delete Morgan’s name from his phone. Carly comes across some charges for some things like a first-class ticket to Australia and gambling websites. She says Morgan was manic, and obviously hurting and trying to fix himself. She says she knew something was wrong, and wonders why they didn’t save him.

Alexis swirls the wine around in the glass and sniffs it like she’s at a five-star restaurant.

Sam doesn’t think involving the police is a good idea, and Kiki agrees. She says they’ll just assume Franco is on the run. They all agree to share any information they find, and Kiki and Dillon wander off. Sam tells Elizabeth to keep her theories to herself. Elizabeth says she’s sure it was self-defense, but if they don’t say something, Franco’s disappearance won’t be treated like a kidnapping case. Sam begs Elizabeth to keep her mother out of it. Like Sam would do that if the shoe was on the other foot.

Dillon and Kiki decide to leave and get some lunch. Kiki drops her purse, and Franco’s note falls out. Of course she doesn’t notice.

Michael gets a call from Tracy, who wants to meet because she’s upset about a business decision he made. He tells Nell that he thinks his decision was a good one. The company they were going to invest in has a bad carbon footprint history, so he decided to drop them. GH’s way of being current.

Sonny tells Carly they didn’t know how much Morgan was hurting. She says her head understands that, but not so much her heart. She thinks they should get someone else to deal with the mail. She has to go to work, and tells Sonny that she loves him. She knows grieving apart was a mistake, and they need each other. She tells him that she trusts him more than anyone.

Lulu tells Laura and Doc about what happened with Charlotte. She says she doesn’t need Valentin to poison Charlotte against her, since she’s doing fine by herself. Doc suggests family therapy. Lulu says she knows Dante would be on board, but Doc says he wasn’t referring to her and Dante.

Dante tells Nathan to leave for his honeymoon before something else happens. Elizabeth comes into the station and tells them they have the wrong suspect. Dante is like, see what I mean? Elizabeth tells them that Franco figured out who the real killer is. She says the person is related to someone he hurt badly, and he doesn’t want to hurt them anymore. She thinks she figured it out though, and tells them that she thinks it’s Alexis.

Sam goes to visit Alexis. She tells Alexis that Elizabeth might be at the police station, and wants to know if there’s anything Alexis isn’t telling her. She asks if there’s someone else Alexis thinks might harm Franco.

Kiki and Dillon have lunch. She thanks him for distracting her from the Franco situation. He wipes something from her face (bleh) and kisses her. Carly pops up from behind the bar. She says don’t mind her, but maybe they can keep their PDA to a minimum. Kiki says Morgan was her first love and she’ll never forget him. She’s sorry she hurt him, and if Carly needs to hurt her to feel better, she understands. Carly says she didn’t like the way Kiki handled things, but at the end, it was just bad. She asks Kiki if she knew he was gambling again, but that’s a no. Carly says it’s difficult seeing Kiki move on when she doesn’t have the option, but she knows Morgan would want her to be happy even if Carly can’t be.

Sonny takes his phone out. He’s about to delete Morgan as a contact, but can’t do it.

Nell asks Michael if it’s possible to let go of what you want in order to help someone else. Michael asks if she’ll still be his friend if he ends up unemployed and moving back in with his parents. She points out that he lives with his grandmother already. We both say, ouch! Carly comes in and tells Nell she needs her for something.

Elizabeth tells Nathan and Dante that she knows it sounds crazy. Nathan asks what motive Alexis would have. Elizabeth says she doesn’t think Tom was rehabilitated in prison. Dante asks if she thinks Tom attacked Alexis, but Elizabeth says she doesn’t think Alexis even remembers. She adds that she thinks there’s someone in Alexis’s life who would protect her at any cost.

Alexis realizes that Sam is hinting around about Julian and says he has nothing to do with it. Sam tells Alexis that Julian has always lied to her, but Alexis says she believes him about this. After everything that has happened, she can see into his soul (gag). Sam asks Alexis not to tell her she’s falling in love with him again.

Doc suggests Lulu go to therapy with Valentin if they’re going to co-parent. Lulu thinks that’s insane, but Doc tells her to look at it from Charlotte’s POV. Lulu says they’re not going to co-parent, and she wants nothing less than full custody. Doc says that’s what she wants, but what about Charlotte?

Elizabeth suggests that Julian got rid of Franco. She wonders if he had Franco killed, and Nathan says they’ll do everything that can to find him.

Alexis tells Sam that ship didn’t just sail, it was set on fire and shoved out to sea like a Viking boat. She says Julian only helped her get sober. Sam says it doesn’t look like it to her, and brings out the bottle from Diane that Alexis tried to hide.

Michael tells Carly that Morgan died because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He says Morgan had the fiercest, most protective, badass mom in the world, but she couldn’t prevent what she didn’t know about.

Sonny’s doorbell rings. It’s Nell.

Laura thinks Lulu should hear Kevin out. Lulu says her main goal is Charlotte’s happiness, but she doesn’t think it will end up being shared custody. She gets up to go, and Doc says sorry for upsetting her. She says he’s just given her a lot to think about. After she’s gone, Doc apologizes to Laura. She’s cool with it, but says she’s surprised he can be impartial about the man who shot him.

Alexis tells Sam that she stared at it, swirled it, and sniffed it, but when she was about to take a drink, she saw a picture of the girls, and knew how much she’d disappointed Sam. She says she’s going to have to talk to Molly and Kristina, and disappoint them too. She tells Sam that it’s a struggle, and according to AA, it will last for a while. Yeah, it’s called your whole life. She says she owes Jason an apology too, but Sam says not to worry about it. She tells Alexis not to answer the door, since it could be the cops, but Alexis says she’ll be a lawyer again by then.

Dillon asks if Kiki is okay and if she needs time alone. Kiki asks if he thinks that Carly meant what she said about Morgan wanting her to be happy. Dillon says he thinks in time Carly will want her to be happy too, but maybe not in her restaurant. Kiki says she wants to be happy again, and he makes her happy. She says to hell with tacky behavior, and they kiss.

Carly tells Michael that she saw Kiki kissing Dillon and she was caught off guard. She adds that life goes on, and Michael says we honor the people we lost by living. Carly says he’s wise beyond his years, and wonders how that happened. He says if Dillon makes Kiki happy, he’s happy for her. He tells Carly that ever since New Year’s, he and Nell have gotten close. Carly says she thought they were just friends, but he feels like they’re starting to build something else.

Nell tells Sonny that Carly sent her there to go through Morgan’s mail. Sonny isn’t comfortable with that, and Nell asks what she should tell Carly. Sonny says that Nell has some anger going on, and Nell acts ignorant. He says he knows something about rage, and there’s something behind her smile. He says if it’s not directed at him, who’s it aimed at?

Kiki thanks Dillon for being understanding, and he asks if she’s ready to get to work. She asks him if he still wants her to go to Crimson, and he says unpaid assistants are the best kind. He has tons of stuff to go through for the wedding issue.

Carly asks Michael if he and Nell are on the same page. She doesn’t want to discourage him, but she says Nell is involved with someone else – a married man. I love how Carly keeps going around saying this when all Nell told her was that she was unavailable.

Nell tells Sonny that Carly told her to bring the mail back to the office, and should she do that, or tell Carly that he wouldn’t give it to her? He tells her to do what Carly asked. Changing the subject, he says that he’s been so consumed with anger, it nearly destroyed him. She says she’s not angry, and he says yes, she is. She might have her reasons, but it doesn’t matter. If she keeps feeding the anger, it will consume everything else she cares about.

Alexis pours out the wine and tells herself she can do this. She can do it for the girls and herself. Dante suddenly shows up. He wants to ask her some questions about Tom.

Nathan says he’ll keep Elizabeth updated. He says Franco has a long criminal history, and wonders why she thinks he’s innocent. She says that despite his past, she has faith that Franco has changed, and she knows the truth always comes out.

Sam runs back into the bar and finds her phone. She sees the note on the floor. It says, Help! I’ve been locked in a storage container, and to call Elizabeth Webber.

Tomorrow, Amy 2.0 tells Hayden that she and Finn are considered a hot item, Elizabeth wants to work with Jason, and Dante asks Alexis where she was on December 21st.

A Random Recommendation

I was thinking that I’m going to name my next dog Joe Buck, just so I can say, “Where’s that Joe Buck?” Anyway, this got me thinking about Midnight Cowboy and the lengths I went to see it for the first time. Even though it won the Oscar for Best Picture, it was rated X, and back then they actually cared. I was 13 or 14 when it came out, and I desperately wanted to see it. I was crazy about Dustin Hoffman, having recently seen Little Big Man, and I’d spent all night reading the book one Saturday that I’d stayed overnight at my sister’s house. She’s ten years older than I am, and was already a grown-up. She would gladly have taken me, but X meant no one under 18 admitted. By today’s standards, it’s rated PG-13 and very tame. There’s very little nudity in it, although the subject matter is adult.

For those who’ve never seen it (and you’re missing out), the story’s protagonist is Joe Buck (John Voight), a clueless guy from Texas, who thinks he’s going to make millions being a hustler in New York. And his idea of a hustler is a gigolo. (Giggy!) Right off the bat (or bus, as it were), he gets taken for a ride by a woman (Sylvia Miles) who he’d expected to make money from. An interesting side note is that the director had thought they had hired a real hooker for the role, not realizing Sylvia was an actress. I’d say that means you’re doing your job. After Joe loses money to her, he loses the rest of it to Ratso Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman), a homeless man living in a condemned building whose dream it is to go Florida. Obviously, he’s a better hustler than Joe. They eventually become friends, and I don’t want to spoil the rest. The film starts about halfway through the book, so we don’t entirely know why Joe thinks the way he does, but it’s not necessary. The story is really about the human condition and how everyone has a dream. It’s also worth watching for the 60s NYC vibe. One of my RHPS cohorts from the late 70s is in a party scene. If you watch it, he’s the guy who says, “Up? Or down?” and shakes two pill bottles.

The movie was on its second time around, which is also of the bygone days. Movies stayed a lot longer in the theaters – well, for one, there were fewer films then – and they usually stopped by again within the next year, possibly as the B-picture in a double-feature. (♫ Science Fiction! Double Feature! ♫ Sorry.) That fall, my maternal grandmother had this idea to take me on a bus tour through New England, a story in itself. You go on a month week long trip with a bunch of old people singing Let Me Call You Sweetheart over and over. It was worth it though. When we got to Boston, Midnight Cowboy was playing across the street from our hotel. It was the second feature, with Women in Love, based on a book by D.H. Lawrence, being the main one. (Alan Bates and a young Oliver Reed – score!) The box office was run by teenagers who couldn’t have cared less how old I was, so after grandma went to sleep at 8 o’clock, I snuck across the street with a purse full of tissues, as both movies are tear jerkers.

So that’s my Midnight Cowboy story – no, I never got caught – and my recommendation. It’s a film well worth watching, and unless your heart is made of stone, it will stir your compassion for humanity, especially for those who have nothing but a dream.

🍷 Speaking of which (my dream job being to get paid to watch TV), whatever happened to The People’s Couch? Is it ever coming back? It’s like one of my favorite shows ever.

January 25, 2017 – Searching for Franco & Random Thoughts


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Curtis tells Jordan that she’s thinking the same thing he’s thinking, and kisses her. They move their kissing to the bed.

Dillon meets Kiki, who says they need his help.

Sam tells Elizabeth that they have to find Franco now. She wants to trace his steps before he disappeared. Elizabeth is puzzled, and asks if Sam talked to Alexis, saying that Sam practically laughed in her face before. Even though Sam doesn’t admit it, Elizabeth can tell she talked to her mother, and asks what Alexis said.

Julian asks Alexis how much of the truth she told Sam. She says she’s the one asking the questions, and wants to know if he did something to Franco.

Franco writes a note asking whoever finds it to contact Elizabeth, but the light keeps going on and off. He slips the note under the door, hoping a good Samaritan will come by.  Where the blip is he?

Jason gets up from the table and falls over. Methinks something was slipped into his coffee. The server yells for someone to call 911, and Tracy runs over and shakes Jason. She asks if he can hear her, and says he’s burning up. He says he’s fine, but she tells him that he just collapsed. She says to wait for the paramedics and suggests calling Sam, but he says no.

Sam tells Elizabeth that they should concentrate on finding Franco. Elizabeth says Sam is still hoping he’s the guilty party.

Kiki fills Dillon in on the Franco situation, and gives him the phone. She says she called around to see if it could be fixed, but every place she called was negative, and just tried to sell her a new phone. Obviously, someone besides me has had a problem with pushy salespeople, since this is the second time they’ve mentioned that. Dillon has an idea. He has a dehumidifier for high tech equipment, and wants to use it to dry out the phone.  He’s not making any promises, but thinks it’s worth a shot.

Alexis reminds Julian that he said he’d do anything to help her. She tells him that Franco has the picture of her and Tom at the bar. Julian doesn’t think anyone would believe him, but Alexis says this time Franco might be right, and if he were to disappear, the police would probably consider the case closed. She asks him where Franco is, but he says he doesn’t know. She asks how she can believe he’s telling her the truth, and he says she can’t.

Franco walks around to keep warm. He talks about food, a cheeseburger and curly fries. He wonders if someone is coming back to finish the job, and looks for a weapon. Well, there are quite a few lamps around; a broken light bulb or a cord might be good. After living in NYC for twenty years, I always know where the closest weapon is. He digs into a box, but it’s only Tupperware. The next box contains trophies. I would think one of those would make pretty good weapon. You could certainly poke somebody’s eye out. Looking at them, he says whoever locked him in there is good at peewee basketball. He picks a trophy out, and uses it to batter the doorknob, but has no luck. Some of the boxes fall on him, and he’s knocked out on the floor again.

Curtis and Jordan start to get busy. She asks what they’re doing, and he wonders if he has to explain. Ha-ha! She tells him it’s wrong. Curtis says what’s been going on between them has been going on for a while, and she needs to be honest. They both felt something strong and passionate, way back when she tried to slap him in the interrogation room. She doesn’t disagree.

Jason is in the hospital, and tells Monica not to call Sam. Monica promises that whatever’s wrong, they’ll fix it.

Julian says unfortunately, Alexis won’t believe anything from him now, and what they had once is gone. Alexis says it’s vanished, and the trust was just an illusion; she was duped by him the entire time. He’s only there because he’s blackmailing her, and she’ll never be taken in by him again. He says he’s telling the truth, and has always put her welfare first, despite how it’s seemed. He says there’s no way to prove it, and things are just what they are. A variation on, it is what it is. He has to go, but it’s not about Franco, and that’s all he’s saying. He tells her not to reach for a drink, but she says it’s taken her this long to get this far. Yeah, a whole two days. He tells her not to go snooping around about Franco. The second he’s gone, she looks up Elizabeth’s number on her phone.

Elizabeth doesn’t want to share much because Sam wants Franco to be guilty. Sam says there’s a warrant out for his arrest, but Elizabeth says Sam obviously has her own agenda.

Monica hopes the bloodwork will give them some answers. Tracy says that Jason was on the floor when she arrived, and she has no clue what happened.

Dillon goes to an indoor storage unit. Across the hall from where Franco is. (Ah-ha!) His note is lying on the floor – a floor that is completely bare and clean except for this yellow sheet of paper – but they don’t see it. More boxes fall, and Dillon asks if Kiki heard something, but she says no. Dillon makes a call to a friend, explaining that they’re looking for someone who disappeared, and asks about rebooting the phone if they’re able to dry it out. He wants to write down the instructions, and Kiki picks up Franco’s note to write on. It’s folded in half, but she doesn’t bother opening it to see what it is. This kind of stuff drives me nuts.

Dillon gives Kiki the instructions. He looks over what she’s written, and we can totally see through the paper to Franco’s writing. Dillon tells Kiki it’s worth a shot, and she says it’s not like they have other leads. Dillon goes into the unit to get the dehumidifier.

Jordan tells Curtis that she’s with Andre, but Curtis says deep down, she trusts him more. Andre didn’t want her to come to Baltimore with him, but she’s here. She says she’s just there because of the case. She says she was going through a confusing time, and he needs to get over himself.

Sam says that she’ll pursue this with or without Elizabeth, and asks if she’s on board or not. Elizabeth says she knows that Sam has an ugly history with Franco and legitimate reasons to hate him, but she can’t let the past influence how she treats him in this investigation. Sam says she can’t make any promises, and goes over what Franco did to her, saying she only has his word that he didn’t really rape her. Elizabeth says she’s sorry it happened. She understands, because that’s how she feels about Tom, but they have to agree that they’re looking for the truth. Sam is okay with that, as long as Elizabeth is good with whatever they find. They sit, and Elizabeth tells Sam how she found Franco’s phone. She says it had blood on it and it was wet, and Kiki is trying to dry it out.

Elizabeth calls Kiki, and Kiki tells her what she and Dillon are doing. She says she’ll meet Elizabeth at the bar. Dillon and Kiki leave the storage place. Franco hears voices, but can’t function enough to respond.

Monica tells Tracy that Jason’s fever is down and it seems like whatever he has isn’t life threatening. Tracy asks if she’s calling Sam, but Monica wants to wait on that in case it’s contagious. Tracy says she talked to the server. All Jason had was coffee, and he was fine until he collapsed. Monica wonders what brought this on so quickly. I’m a little surprised the server didn’t mention that Jason had company at the table for a while.

Julian is at Jason’s bedside. Jason asks if he’s there to see the results of his work.

Kiki arrives at the bar, and tells Elizabeth that they got the phone dried out. She wonders why Sam is there. She puts two and two together, and asks if the woman Franco suspects is someone she knows.

Alexis’s doorbell rings. It’s Diane. She says Alexis has a meeting with the bar committee tonight, and she’s there for last minute prep. She has Alexis’s statement, and has made some tweaks. She suggests they hammer out any changes. She asks Alexis if something is wrong, and Alexis says she’s just nervous. Diane has an incentive – she’s brought a bottle of wine for when they celebrate. Great.

Jason asks Julian what he slipped in the coffee. Julian says the same thing he gave himself to extend his hospital stay. He tells Jason that Winston was responsible for the car bomb. He was the intended target and Morgan was collateral damage. There was no doubt it would be pinned on Sonny, getting rid of them both. He says that now they don’t just want him and Sonny gone, but Jason and Curtis are also in jeopardy. They’ve been asking too many questions, and people could die. If he keeps going the way he’s going, Sam and his unborn child are at risk.

Sam tells Kiki that she just wants the truth, and Elizabeth says it’s cool. Dillon explains how he dried out the phone. They try to reactivate it. It starts to work, and Elizabeth grabs it.

Jordan tells Curtis his ego is out of whack and always has been. She says she may have felt something physical for him, but she was only attracted to him in that moment, and it means nothing. He says what about this moment; how is she going to explain that to herself?

Alexis tells Diane that the changes she made are astute. Diane says Alexis is an incredible lawyer, and Port Charles needs her expertise. Alexis doesn’t think she’ll practice law again, but Diane says she just has a case of stage fright. She tells Alexis to look at the committee as a jury, except she’s pleading her own case. Alexis thanks Diane for always being on her side. Diane says in a few hours, they’ll be toasting her victory.

The phone is locked. Sam says she’ll call Spinelli, but Elizabeth gets the phone open with JAKE. Dillon tells her how to retrieve the last message. All the messages they find are from Kiki and Elizabeth.

Franco finally gets himself up from the floor. He says some psycho is going to come back and kill him unless he figures something out.

Jason asks if Julian is threatening his family, but Julian says they’re on the same side. He was only getting Jason out of harm’s way. He says the bottom line is that he wants to turn the tables and get rid of them, but he needs Jason’s help. Jason asks who Winston is working for, and why they want him dead.

Jordan tells Curtis they’re here on business, and they’re going to convince Buzz to come back to Port Charles. She tells him again that she’s with Andre, and he says good luck with that. I wonder if he means the same thing I do when I say that – that all the luck in the world isn’t going to help you.

Alexis eyeballs the bottle of wine and puts it in the cupboard. She pretends to get ready, but we know she’s still thinking about it. She takes it back out and gets a glass. Her hand hovers over it with the opener for a second, but then she opens the bottle. No, Alexis! Don’t do it!

Julian asks Jason if he’ll agree to work with him. Jason says he’ll never trust him, but Julian says he doesn’t have a choice, because their lives and the lives of those they love depend on him doing the right thing.

Kiki thinks they’re wasting time. Dillon says Franco could have left on his own or someone took him. He’s brilliant! Sign that guy up for detective work.

Franco wonders how many boxes of useless crap there are. He finds more trophies. He finds one that he’s seen before.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Sonny that she knows something is wrong, Lulu talks to Doc and Laura, and Elizabeth suggests calling the police.

Random Thoughts

🌟 The girls from Star continue to soar, and are on to the next round of the talent contest. Benjamin Bratt continues to get the short end of the stick, and Queen Latifah continues to be awesome and have amazing hairdos.

☎ So much good TV, too little time, and I continue to chase around Too Close to Home. I either forget it’s on or there’s a conflict. (This should be my worst problem.) It’s worth hunting down for Heather Locklear’s wickedness alone, but the story is really good. And of course there’s Brody.

🗽 What happened to Little Women of New York (plus Jason)? I just can’t get into Atlanta, and Dallas seemed like just more of the same, even including some Atlanta girls who moved.

📍 Speaking of Atlanta, this doesn’t happen often, but my hat’s off to Phaedra from The Real Housewives of Atlanta for setting up a camp where the children from Flint, Michigan can go free of charge. She did this after the water crisis there. Portia continues to be ridiculous in looking for a baby daddy, and the more I see her, the more I like Kenya Moore.

💃 Quote from Cyndi Lauper when she was on Watch What Happens Live: Yelling jacks people up, but doesn’t do anything to show your humanity and doesn’t open someone else’s mind. I’m paraphrasing, but close enough. The discussion was about the…um…exchange of ideas that’s been going on lately. Personally, I’d love less shouting. I ditched Little Women of Atlanta over it, but I can’t exactly ditch the world.

January 24, 2017 -Alexis Confesses, Boy George Entertains & Quincy is Unearthed


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Jordan says mm-mm-mm like a secretary I used to work with, and tells Curtis that Buzz’s statement rings true, but that also makes him an accomplice. She says he makes for a compelling witness. Curtis says she has to admit that Sonny had nothing to do with the car bomb.

Michael brings lunch to Sonny. Sonny talks about Diane’s maneuverings, and says it looks good for him, but he still misses Morgan. Carly walks in saying she wants to eat immediately, because there’s nothing worse than cold onion rings. I tend to agree, but overcooked pasta is up there too.

Jason sees Elizabeth at The Floating Rib. They talk for a second and Elizabeth gets involved with her phone. Jason asks if everything is okay. Kiki joins them and asks if he’s there to help them with Franco.

Sam visits Alexis. Alexis asks if Sam wants lunch, but Sam is there to talk in private about something. Julian calls from upstairs asking if Alexis has seen his wallet. Sam asks what the hell he’s doing there.

Carly gives Michael and Sonny some souvenir towels from the airport because she didn’t get a chance to go shopping. She bought one for Morgan too, since she forgot. She tells them that Josslyn was crying in the car when she remembered she wasn’t going to see Morgan, and she “isn’t there yet.” Michael says he’ll talk to her. He feels that she might feel differently if it comes from him instead of her mom. Michael leaves, and Sonny asks Carly what about them?

Jordan heaps praises on Curtis for his solid work, and says it should clear Sonny. She’s concerned that the new DA is more interested with the win of nailing Sonny though. Curtis wants to find out where Winston and the boss lady are hiding. Jordan thinks they should bring Buzz in after convincing him that he’s safe with them, but Curtis says that might take some work. He suggests they chill until his truck is repaired.

Alexis asks to speak to Sam alone. Sam says she’s done trying to understand Julian. He leaves, and Sam says she thought she understood Alexis. She asks why Alexis let Julian back in, and Alexis says he’s blackmailing her. Sam asks for what, and Alexis says she hit him with her car and left him for dead. Nothing like getting right to the point.

Elizabeth tells Jason she can deal with it on her own, and Sam can fill Jason in. She and Kiki sit down, and Jason exits. Kiki apologizes for making an assumption. Elizabeth says she’s used to awkward when it comes to Jason and Franco. She wonders if they should call the police, but Kiki says they have a warrant out for Franco’s arrest. They’re charging him Tom’s murder.

Curtis asks if Jordan minds hanging out or wants him to leave. She says that’s on him, and he thinks he should take off. She says she does have other cases to work on. He says he knows she doesn’t like sitting still, and when he comes back, things will be taken care of.

Alexis tells Sam that it was an accident. Sam tells her leaving the scene is a crime, like she doesn’t know. Alexis says she called 911, but later found out that Julian knew, so she allowed him to convalesce in her house. Sam says it makes sense now, and realizes that Winston was looking for Julian. She asks what else Alexis is lying about. Alexis says she’s been drinking from morning to night for months, and that’s why she hit Julian with the car – she was drunk. She tells Sam that she’s deeply ashamed.

Kiki tells Elizabeth about the knife Franco had bought, and says the police mentioned something bizarre about a dog crate with Tom’s DNA on it. She tells Elizabeth about Tom trying to hit on her, and how she helped lure Tom to the studio. She says Franco told her that he was only going to talk to him. Elizabeth says none of it is her fault. Kiki asks if she knows what happened.

Michael greets Josslyn. She says she didn’t want to come back if it meant living with Sonny. Nell tells her that Carly and Sonny are getting back together. Josslyn says she doesn’t care; he killed Morgan. Michael says Sonny had nothing to do with it, but she says that doesn’t mean he’s innocent; he’s a mobster. Michael says he blamed Sonny too, but it’s easier to be angry than it is to grieve. Good one, Michael. This explains the load of diatribes on Facebook.

Carly says Jax talked Josslyn into coming home, but Josslyn made her agree that she didn’t have to live at Sonny’s. Sonny asks what about her. Carly says as much as she wants to be with him, she’s going to stay with her daughter.

Elizabeth tells Kiki that Franco didn’t kill Tom. Kiki thinks maybe he ran, but Elizabeth tells her about Franco’s car in the parking lot at Gene’s and finding his phone. She thinks something bad happened to him.

Sam says she knew Alexis was in trouble, but didn’t know how to ask, so she ignored it and she’s sorry. Alexis tells her not to be. She has every right to be angry. Alexis tells Sam that she was drunk when she was babysitting Danny. She started going outside of town to drink, but ran into Julian anyway. (Literally!) She says Julian was helping her detox and encouraging her to go to AA, which she did. She’s been sober two days and ironically, has Julian to thank for that.

Jason sees Julian, and tells him that they both know he’s connected with Winston and the boss lady. Julian says it affects all of them, and wants to talk to him.

Michael tells Josslyn it’s hard; the shock and unfairness of losing Morgan is excruciating, but she has to go through it. Morgan wouldn’t want them to be angry and tear the family apart. Josslyn starts to cry.

Carly wants to believe that once Sonny is cleared, the family will have a fresh start. Sonny agrees, but she says what about the day he finds out who’s responsible for Morgan’s death? What happens then?

Curtis brings sweet tea and food back to Jordan from some place they used to frequent. She says all the work they did with Buzz, now the food, it reminds her of old times when they were totally in sync.

Elizabeth tells Kiki that she took the phone to the phone store, but had no luck with drying it out because they were too busy trying to sell her a new phone. Been there. Know that feeling. Kiki asks what about the woman Franco wants to protect, and asks if Elizabeth knows who it might be?

Alexis tells Sam that she went to one meeting and was told she’ll have to start apologizing for what she did. She wants Sam to let her know when she’s ready. Sam says not yet, but she loves and supports her. She says she came over to discuss something Elizabeth said. She thinks Alexis is involved with Tom’s murder and implied that Sam didn’t know Alexis at all. She asks if there’s any truth to that, and Alexis says she may have killed Tom.

Julian tells Jason that Sam showed up at Alexis’s today and discovered him there. Jason is like, I’ll bite, what now? Julian tells him he’s living at Alexis’s house.

Sonny tells Carly he doesn’t know how he’ll feel, but he’s probably going to be furious. At this moment though, he feels that he’s learned a painful lesson about retaliation, and would think twice about it. Carly says it’s not exactly what she wanted to hear, but Sonny says it’s all he’s got. He says on New Year’s Eve they talked about living in the moment, and hopes she didn’t forget that. She says she didn’t. He kisses her. They kiss some more.

Nell tells Josslyn that Michael is right. Bad things happen. It’s scary and random, and sometimes unfair, but horrible things happen to people. Josslyn asks what they’re supposed to do. Nell repeats what Michael told her about being a victim to her anger, and says Josslyn has to move through it to get to the grief. She says Josslyn has a lot of supportive people in her life, including her. She says when she first came to town, Josslyn was happy living with her mom. The Josslyn she sees now isn’t too happy, and maybe it’s something to consider.

Jordan and Curtis joke around about old times. She talks about the stakeouts being tedious, but Curtis says those were some of the best times of his life. He says he could go back to his room and practice mindfulness, or they could continue reminiscing over a game of poker. He pulls out a deck of cards.

Carly wants to check on Josslyn. Sonny doesn’t like saying good-by, and she says she feels the same way, but she has to go. Josslyn comes in with Michael and Nell. Michael says Josslyn has something to tell them. Nell tries to excuse herself, but Michael wants her to stay. Josslyn talks about Morgan teaching her to ride a bike, and how he said it hurts sometimes to be brave, but it hurts more to give up. If she’d given up with the bike, she wouldn’t have learned how to ride and regretted it, so she’s not giving up on Sonny. She hugs him.

Elizabeth says she’s hoping for confirmation soon. Kiki says if this woman killed Tom, what’s to stop her from killing again, but Elizabeth thinks she’s not capable of that. Kiki thinks they should go to the police with the information they have.

Alexis tells Sam about Tom pulling the knife on her, and that she went crazy, but doesn’t remember anything after getting the knife from him. She says the body was found in the alley, so who else could it be? Sam says they would have questioned her if they had any evidence. Alexis says they’re after Franco and he has something on her, and she fully expects the police to come knocking at her door. Sam jets, leaving Alexis to worry about that on her own.

Jason asks Julian what Winston wanted, but Julian says he’s told him what he needs to know. He leaves and Jason sips his coffee. Where’s Valentin today? I miss him. He’s quickly become a favorite of mine.

Sonny thanks Josslyn. She asks if Avery is there, and Sonny tells her that she’s upstairs. Josslyn goes to see her, and Carly thanks Michael. Nell says he’s a great big brother and Michael says she helped. She says she just told the truth that Josslyn has a great stepfather who will always be there for her. Sonny looks grim, and not at all like he just got a compliment.

Curtis tells Jordan that her poker face stinks, and that he called her bluff three times in a row. He says he always know what’s going on behind those curls and beautiful eyelashes. She tells him take it to his girlfriend. He insists on seeing her cards – a pair of twos – and she says she thought she’d take a shot. He says he’s been known to do that too, and kisses her.

Kiki tells Elizabeth that Franco has always been there for her, and she’s going to be there for him and not sit around. She’s going to see what she can do about the phone. They agree on no cops. She tells Elizabeth to stay in touch and leaves. Elizabeth texts Franco again, asking if he talked to his mother.

Julian comes back to Alexis’s place, and asks how it went. Alexis says she told Sam the truth. She says he told her that he’d take care of the Tom situation, and asks how he’s doing that. She asks if he did something to Franco.

Sam sees Elizabeth and says they need to find Franco now.

Jason gets up, but doesn’t look too good. He falls on his face.

Tomorrow, Julian might be behind Franco’s disappearance, Curtis and Jordan get busy, and Tracy tries to revive Jason.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit is having a 49th birthday party for PK. She wants something simple, intimate and elegant, but with pow. Whatever that is. Boy George will be performing, but she wants to keep it a secret from the guests until it’s time for the show. Dorit and PK discuss logistics.

Back in Greece, Erika is debuting her single at 3 am. Kyle talks about branching out from being a wife and mother with her stores, and how she has the TV show in the works. She tells Erika that it’s bringing up a lot of emotions and memories. She talks about her mother bringing her to the set of Little House on the Prairie at the crack of dawn. Erika gives Tom a call, and tells him how glad she is of his love and support. He does seem like a really cool guy.

Eileen and LisaR go rollerblading. Dorit, who’s never done it before, joins them. In her interview, Dorit says if this is what she has to do in order to hit the reset button, so be it, although she’d rather be having a cocktail somewhere. I’ve never rollerbladed either, so my sympathies are with her. I stink on regular roller skates and I’m even worse on ice skates. Lisa says she likes anyone who’s willing to move on. Afterward, Dorit invites the girls to PK’s birthday. She wonders if she should invite Kim. Lisa says it’s cool with her, but she appreciates the heads up. They call Erika to wish her luck.

Erika gets ready for the show. The stage is built on a cliff which is not exactly conducive to stilettos.

Harrison! Eden visits LisaV. The ponies! They’re having tea outside. Giggy! Eden just got done with a 48-hour relationship, which gives us a lot of insight on her character. The guy quit smoking because she didn’t want to date a smoker. Then – how dare he – ate a cheeseburger and immediately afterward, reached for a mint. She told him that he was going after the mint like an after-dinner cigarette, he accused her of having a type-A personality, and she broke things off. At first, I liked her, but I’m having second thoughts now. This is wrong on so many levels. First of all, she shows no appreciation for the guy quitting smoking for her, and then acts like having a mint is all kinds of wrong. The worst part is that she’s an addict herself, but is apparently unforgiving when it comes to other people’s coping mechanisms. And sometimes a mint is just a mint. Maybe he was concerned that he’d have bad breath after the burger. Geez. I think Eden might be a little picky. Lisa and Eden discuss game night. Lisa says Kim is great, even though she’s had aggressive moments with her. In her interview, Eden says her sister died of an overdose, but it wasn’t clear whether or not it was intentional. She says after her dad passed away, she realized she needed to clean up her act. Eden tells Lisa about being highly functioning when she drank. Lisa asks if she’s talked to Kim, and Eden says she has the behavior of a struggling alcoholic. In her interview, Lisa doesn’t understand why just being sober isn’t enough. While I agree it’s good to be involved with a program, especially early on when you have a whole lot of time that used to be taken up by drinking, I think Eden is being a little pushy. Eden thinks Kyle is an enabler, but Lisa says she’s stepped in many times. In her interview, Eden says Kyle is an enabler because she stays silent about the behavior. She tells Lisa that it was like watching her own family, and she’s concerned that Kyle will be standing where she is now – without a sister.

It looks very crowded at Erika’s venue. Kyle joins in the pre-show prayer, which contains words that Kyle has never heard in a prayer before. Erika is wearing thigh-high sparkly boots, and a silver and black leotard with more sparkles. She climbs a long ladder to the top where the stage is. In her interview, she talks about being concerned she’ll get blown off the mountain. She performs Painkiller, and then debuts Expensive.

LisaR visits Eden. Lisa describes Eden’s son, Tyler, as precocious in a good way. He is pretty cute. Dorit arrives next. She’s glad to get away from her own kids for a little while. Eden has never met PK, and wants suggestions for the perfect gift. She gives the girls some kind of aloe drink and makes smoothies. Dorit wants to know if she can put vodka in it. Lisa says she’s never done that, but has put a Xanax in one. Eden says she has too, and in her interview, Dorit questions a sober person taking pills. Lisa pulls out a bag of pills as big as my purse, most of which are supplements. I think.

After-party in Greece! Erika says the sun is rising, but who cares? They take pictures by the pool. Erika makes Kyle put on her swimsuit and they take some photos together.

Dorit has a problem with the party flowers and calls them tragic. She’s also despising the black curtain partition set up for the show. Boy George tries to calm her down.

LisaV calls Kyle, who just got back from Greece. Portia gets on the phone and asks Lisa about the horses. She wants to come to Lisa’s for a sleepover, and Lisa says now that Portia is out of diapers, she’s up for it. Although she can always borrow some from LisaR. Ha-ha!

Not being able to leave anything alone, Dorit tells Erika that her outfit is a step up from the T-shirt dress she wore last time. Dorit introduces the baby to Erika, and the baby is passed around like a football. Dorit claims there was water damage, and that’s why there’s a curtain up. LisaV thinks PK has something “up his little English sleeve” though. In her interview, Dorit says Lisa is too shrewd to pull something over on.

Kim arrives. She has a bum knee, and Eden helps her down the stairs, but Kim can’t even be bothered to say thanks. I’m not sure if Kim is in avoidance mode with Eden because she’s overbearing or because she’s right. Kim talks about Kyle going to Greece, and how much she missed the kids. She says now that she’s having a grandchild, she’s having the same anxieties she had with her own children. In her interview, Eden is concerned she’s going to end up reaching for a drink. Kim thinks Eden is being weird.

Everyone admires Kyle’s Gucci bag. Me too. She shows everybody the pictures from Greece.

Boy George is wearing an interesting tic-tac-toe themed suit with a matching hat. PK introduces Dorit, so she can introduce George. She gives a speech about how great a husband PK is, and wishes him a happy birthday. The curtain is pulled back, and George is ready to rock. Or whatever it is he does. He sings Karma Chameleon and changes to join the party.

In her interview, Eileen says she’ll have to keep an eye on Dorit since she lied so well. Eden makes her exit. Camille remarks how nice she is, and Kim makes a face. Kim tells Kyle about Eden asking her if her anxiety is an issue. Camille thinks she was just being concerned.

Dorit tells LisaV and George about going to Eden’s house, and how LisaR talked about putting Xanax in a smoothie. George wanders away, and Dorit continues to tell LisaV about the bag of pills LisaR pulled out. She says they were mostly supplements, but who knows? I’m sure we’ll be hearing about this until the end of the season, although it’s more interesting than Pantygate.

Next time, LisaR has a barbecue, Erika reads for The Young and the Restless, and a 1920s party happens.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David tells Veronica to put the gun down. She says, oh, look who’s being nice now. He tries to reason with her, but she’s out of her mind, so nothing works. She tells David to put his hands up. And then down. Veronica says she likes it, and tells him to get on his knees. She says he and Kathryn were having an affair, and makes up some fakakta story that she says she can convince a jury with. David says no one else needs to get hurt. She asks if he wants to hurt her, and he says no. She asks why the divorce then, and he says he was trying to protect her from herself, but I’m not sure where the logic is in that. Not that it matters. Veronica asks if he thinks she’s crazy, since he called her a delusional bitch. He says he shouldn’t have, and apologizes. She says it’s too late though, because he embarrassed her.

Veronica asks David if he believes she’d kill him and he says yes. He brings up the time she set the house on fire. She says she wasn’t trying to kill him, she just wanted him to burn a little. Whoa. David says he’s sorry, and that it’s between the two of them; she should let Kathryn go. David’s phone rings and Veronica wants to see who’s calling. He gives her the phone. It’s a missed call from a hotel. Of course Veronica thinks it’s a woman. She calls the number back. It’s Erica. Too bad. I wanted to see Veronica proven wrong. Erica says she was trying to reach David, and Veronica says she’s David’s wife. Erica tells Veronica that she’s a reporter, and wanted to know if David had a comment on a political poll. Veronica says he’s in the shower and intimates that they’d just had sex. Erica says she’d read she was getting a divorce. Veronica says they’re not, and Erica asks for her opinion. Veronica tells her to call on a business line.

Veronica tells David she doesn’t believe that was a reporter. He gets up, and she tells him to get back on his knees. He says he’s not doing it. Veronica tells him that Kathryn planned all of this, and she had nothing to do with it. He wants her to put the gun down, but she says he won’t listen if she does. He says he believes her. Kathryn says it’s not true, and asks if Veronica is going to shoot her too. Veronica doesn’t want to give up the gun, but David tells her to take the clip out, and she does. She gives him the gun. Kathryn says there’s still one in the chamber and he takes it out.

Jim comes in. He’s like, what the hell? Kathryn tells him Veronica did it, and tried to kill her. He asks who is that on his floor, and I laugh. David tells him it’s Jennifer. Kathryn repeats that Veronica did it. Jim has David give him the gun. Kathryn wants to call the police, but Jim doesn’t want to. She says they have to tell the authorities, and he says he is the authorities, and he’s going to let Veronica leave. Veronica says he’s not letting her do anything, because you can’t please her. He reminds her that the DA is dead, and if the Feds stick their nose into this, they’re going to open up a bigger can of worms. Veronica acts like she has nothing to do with it. Jim says maybe, but her hands have been on plenty of knives throughout the years. David tries to stop her, but Jim says let her go. What a mess.

Hearing my thoughts, Jim says they’ll need a clean up the likes of which they’ve never seen before. He asks if David can make the call. David has it, and goes elsewhere to do it. Kathryn can’t believe that Jim let Veronica leave. He says he has a lot on his mind. I’ll bet.

Poor Benny. He’s still on the porch, thinking Candace is coming. Hanna comes out, and tells him she packed his clothes. She gathers up Quincy Jr. and they get in the car.

Wyatt looks around his townhouse. He tells Jeffrey about the parties he’s going to have. Jeffrey tells him that he doesn’t want to relapse, and Wyatt tells him to chill. Jeffrey says he’s not going to watch him do this, and Wyatt says he’s not going to get high. Jeffrey says he’s tired of caring, and wants to leave, but Wyatt physically stops him. Jeffrey says he’s sick of everything, including Wyatt, and he’s done. Wyatt asks what he has to do to get him to stay, but he won’t do that. Jeffrey starts to walk out, and Wyatt says he’s scared. He says he can’t control himself, and if Jeffrey leaves, he’ll die. Jeffrey is the only one who’s ever loved him, and he resents him for it. He apologizes for treating Jeffrey badly, and begs him to stay, saying that he needs Jeffrey.

Jeffrey says this reminds him of his father, who’s willing to stay with his mother through all kinds of hell. He knows Wyatt loves him, and that’s why he has to go. He can’t help. He says he’ll text Wyatt the name of a group who can. They have people who’ll help him stay strong. He wants Wyatt to show that he wants to get better. Wyatt says he doesn’t need Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he does, even if he doesn’t want to. Wyatt tells him to get out.

Hanna stops by where Candace lives and Pearl calls her over. She says she thinks the police are after the man who went in the house and never came out. Hanna goes over to Candace, who tells her to go home. Hanna asks if she did something, and Candace tells her good-by. Hanna tells Candace that Benny is waiting for her in tears; she could at least call him and tell him she’s not coming. She asks if Candace did something to Quincy, and if he attacked her and she fought back. Hanna says if that’s the case, she needs to say something now. She says she can’t help Candace if she won’t help herself. She tells Candace that Benny will sit there all night and to call him.

Veronica gets back home. She looks pretty tired, and rightly so. Melissa comes downstairs and asks if she’s okay, noticing she’s bleeding. Veronica says she was mugged. She apologizes for missing the party, and asks if Jeffrey is there. Melissa says no, and Veronica says she has to find him, apologizing again. I have to note that Melissa is wearing a fabulous off-white crocheted dress.

Veronica calls Jeffrey. He asks what she wants, accusing her of calling the police, but she says that she didn’t. She tells him that it was Quincy’s sister, because anyone can follow a trail left by two idiots. She instructs Jeffrey to meet her with Candace at a hotel, calling Candace “that thing.” She says they have to meet her in thirty minutes, because he wants to stay out of prison. Or not. It’s his choice.

The forensics officer tells Justin that it’s not blood on the hot tub cover; it’s a marker. Justin is like, oh good. The officer says nobody noticed this? and points to some freshly dug earth. Justin says Candace was having yard work done, like that excuse would have sufficed. The officer calls someone over.

Justin tells Candace to get out of there now. Jeffrey calls Candace and tells her about meeting with Veronica. Candace says no way, but he says what choice do they have? She says not much, since the police just asked for shovels. She says Veronica has something up her sleeve, but agrees to meet. She says she has to talk to Benny first. Jeffrey says they have to trust Veronica, and she’d better be there in time. Candace says she’s on her way.

Mitch gets thrown into a cell next to War. He asks War how long he’s there for, and War says he’ll be out in a second. Mitch says don’t count on it with the drug charge. War wonders how Mitch found out, and tells Mitch that he has powerful connections. Mitch is like, whatever. War realizes Mitch set him up, and Mitch asks how he knows. War says he crossed the line this time, and Mitch says, let’s go to war. War says that’s his name. Not like him to make a funny, although he’s not smiling. War says okay, it’s on. Mitch tells him that he did it all on his own, and Candace didn’t set him up. He adds that War isn’t ever getting out to bother Candace again. War says when he gets out, it won’t matter who did it, and Mitch says he’s not getting out. War says the first thing he’s doing is cutting Candace’s throat. A guard comes in and tells War he’s free to go. Oops. Mitch asks for his phone call, but the guard walks away.

Hanna pulls into Benny’s driveway and tells Quincy Jr. to stay in the car. She asks Benny if Candace knew what time. Benny says she did, and Hanna says she has a place with two beds and a kitchen, not so nice, but clean. She tells him when she found out his father was married, she was devastated; she was sure he was the one. She wanted someone to love and help her, and he seemed smart and kind. He put her up in a nice apartment when he found out she was pregnant. In her eighth month, his wife found out and had her evicted, along with his sister. She had nowhere to go, and her parents wouldn’t let her come home. She kept moving and kept praying. God always found a way for them, and she tells Benny that He will now.

Benny says he’s sick of trying. He takes a step forward and gets dragged back every time. Hanna says some people do anything, get away with it and prosper, but people who have a calling on their lives are different. She says that Benny and his sister have a calling. When he asks what that means, Hanna tells him that God has a greater plan for them. She says Candace isn’t listening, and it’s why everything she touches falls apart. Benny says he just wants to be happy, and Hanna tells him to surrender to God. He says he doesn’t want to hear it right now, but he’s getting to the point that she is with Candace. He says he was doing well, and she did them wrong. Hanna says she’s not doing it on purpose, and he accuses her of defending Candace.

The police pull up and tell Benny that he has to leave. He says he’s waiting for his sister. Hanna tells him to come on, but he’s insistent. The officer says if he doesn’t leave, they’ll remove him. He gets belligerent, and the police drag him off the property. He struggles with them, and Hanna begs them not to hurt him. They throw him into the car, kicking and shouting. Quincy Jr. watches.

The officers uncover Quincy Sr. in Candace’s backyard. Justin slithers away.

Next time, Wyatt gets lost in the wrong neighborhood, Kathryn claims Veronica pushed her to insanity, and Candace and Jeffrey meet with Veronica

🚢 Ladies of London mention. Because it’s late, I’ll just say that there were fabulous sunglasses and a lot of talk about boundaries. And a good soundtrack, as usual.

January 23, 2017 – Remnants of Maxie’s Wedding, Katie’s Shower Aftermath & Some Belated Quotes


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Finn and Hayden get busy. He has quite a bit of tattoo action going on that I’ve never noticed before. They talk about how happy they are. That’s a sure sign a bomb is about to drop. Hayden hears my thoughts, and says she’s done waiting for the other shoe to fall.

Elizabeth leaves a message for Franco. She says they’re in this together and he has to call her back. I have the feeling “has to” isn’t in Franco’s vocabulary. Brad overhears, and asks if she’s looking for Franco. Elizabeth asks if Brad knows him.

At the dive bar, Scotty shows Gene Alexis’s picture and asks if he knows her.

Nathan carries Maxie over the threshold. Because we need to see that dress some more.

Anna tells Valentin that she remembers. He tried to kiss her on her birthday.

Lulu tells Charlotte blah-blah-blah same stuff we heard on Thursday, and that she’s Charlotte’s real mommy. Charlotte says no way. I don’t blame her. This is just a little abrupt.

Hayden rifles through junk food wrappers. Nothing. Finn says they’ll have to venture out and search for food. She doesn’t want to let him go, and he says it’s just the beginning. The beginning of their life of hunting down fast food? She goes to the bathroom or whatever, and he takes his works out of the drawer. She forgets something, and asks what he’s doing.

Brad tells Elizabeth she’s not the only one looking for Franco – he’s missed several art therapy appointments. He tells her the police were at the hospital as well. His phone rings and he steps away, saying later. Elizabeth calls Scotty, who hasn’t seen Franco either. He tells her he’s at Gene’s trying to get clues, and she says she’ll meet him there.

Maxie sees some presents in the room, and wonders why they weren’t taken back to the apartment, but Nathan tells her they’re his presents to her. She says she’ll wait to open them, since she already has the best present ever.

Nina cuts a piece of the wedding cake to set aside for Charlotte. Dante wants to talk to her, but she’s not receptive. Omg, her green dress, simple, but oh so sexy and elegant. Although anything looks good on Nina. She tells Dante that they’re tearing Charlotte away from her father.

Lulu tells Charlotte she knows she’ll always love Claudette and she’s sad, but there are a lot of people who love her, like Lulu and Dante. She explains that Rocco is Charlotte’s brother, and any time she’s sad, she can come play with him. Charlotte tells Lulu to leave her alone and storms out, slamming the door. The door is stuck and I laugh because so is Lulu. I actually like Lulu, but geez, she is way past overbearing.

Griff is still pinwheeling around, trying to get to Valentin, who suggests Andre get him out of there. Anna says she and Valentin were at the academy together. She was training to be a field agent, and he was an analyst. He asks if she remembers what he actually did, but she says she doesn’t remember much about him. Only that he was scarred and creepy. Okay, she doesn’t say that, but she’s thinking it, and says he looked different. He says she’s being polite, and he changed because of her. He certainly cleaned up well.

Hayden tells Finn she knew it was too good to be true. She asks if the cure didn’t work for him. He says he’s not sick, but he’s fought the disease for a long time, and he still needs to fight the bacteria in his system. He tells her there’s nothing to worry about. She goes back to doing whatever.

Elizabeth goes to Gene’s. She tells Scotty that Franco’s car is in the parking lot, but Scotty says he’s not there. Elizabeth thinks they should call the police because she’s an idiot.

Nathan and Maxie bask in the afterglow, and she tells him she’s excited about the future. He says he knew the second he met her that they’d be together. She suggests indulging in her favorite cookies, and he surprises her, having already put a box in the nightstand, even though he hates when she eats in bed. I’m with him there. I cannot deal with having crumbs where I sleep.

Lulu yells for help and I laugh some more. Dante looks for her and calls her phone. It’s ringing, but it’s in her purse – which he has in his hand.

Nina sees Charlotte all upset and asks where her papa is.

Valentin suggests that Anna recoiled in horror, but she claims it’s otherwise. She says she didn’t care what he looked like. He says she did, but just covered it better than most. She says he was smart and they were friends. He says he was shoved away where they could use his talents, but not look at him. He tells her that he sold his talents to the highest bidder, and had his spine straightened from the scoliosis that had plagued him. He says what’s one less cripple next to perfect agent Anna Devane.

Lulu bangs on the door. She wonders how she’ll get out, and looks up.

Scotty tells Elizabeth that calling the police will just make it worse. They found Tom’s DNA on the dog cage that came from Franco’s studio.

Maxie’s next present is a custom-made purse she wanted. She asks Nathan if he’s ever seen anything so beautiful and he agrees, but I doubt his sincerity. He gives her yet another present. It’s a necklace.

Dante tries the linen closet door. He gets it open, but no Lulu.

Charlotte tells Nina what Lulu said. Nina tells her not to think about it, and they’ll talk to her papa later.

Griff tells Andre that Valentin murdered Claudette. Andre says that Griff has a lot of unresolved feelings, and it’s easier to believe Valentin killed her than she took her own life. Griff thinks Valentin did more than try to kiss Anna.

Valentin thanks Anna for giving him the incentive to remake his life. He did come into a fortune, but prior to that, everything he had, he worked for himself. And it started in her room at the academy on her birthday. Her rejection of him gave him more than anything else ever could. Valentin leaves and joins Charlotte and Nina.

Nina tells Valentin that Charlotte is upset. He says he’ll fix it. Charlotte tells him that Griff said he killed mommy. Valentin says Griff is mad at him, so he told the worst lie he could think of. He would never hurt anyone or anything she loves. She says she hates Griff, but Valentin says that’s poison, and doesn’t want her hating anyone. Nina says Griff isn’t the only one who said something that confused Charlotte.

We hear sounds from above (no, not God or angels) and everyone looks up. Lulu plops through the ceiling.

Griff asks if she’s okay, and she says the only thing hurt is her pride. Dante asks Lulu what happened, but she just wants to get cleaned up. Valentin holds Charlotte in his arms, and asks if Lulu told her something. Charlotte says that Lulu told her that she’s her mother, but she doesn’t want her to be.

Maxie tells Nathan that the necklace is beyond stunning, and it’s vintage. He says it belonged to his great grandmother, but didn’t look as good on her as it does on Maxie. She tells him that she loves it and him.

Finn and Hayden go to The Floating Rib. Brad is there waiting for Lucas. Finn thanks him, and Hayden tells Brad to make sure that Finn doesn’t miss any doses.

Elizabeth asks Scotty if he thinks Franco is on the run because he killed Tom.

Hayden wants to play pool. Brad asks if they’re coming back to GH and Finn says hopefully. Brad says now that they’ve had a successful trial with the serum, they should start applying for grants. Hayden wanders off, and Brad asks about them being a couple.

Maxie loves everything that Nathan got her, but wishes she’d gotten him something equally as wonderful. She gives him a ball signed by Derek Jeter. She reminds him of the first game he ever saw, and says she tracked it down from the same game. She says she hopes he doesn’t mind that it’s autographed. At least she didn’t have it removed. He says he’s surprised she remembered, since they were handcuffed together when he told her. She says it was the second-best night of her life. This one is the first.

Andre, Anna, and Griff sit down for a drink. Griff asks if Valentin forced himself on her, but Anna says they were friends. When she turned him down, she assumes they went their separate ways, because she doesn’t remember him after that. She says it didn’t mean that much to her.

Valentin tells Charlotte that Lulu shouldn’t have said what she did. Charlotte asks if she was lying. Valentin says it’s complicated, and they’ll have the conversation when they’re less tired and stressed. and he’s been able to think about it. He tells Charlotte that he and Nina love her. Nina says she’s honored to be Charlotte’s stepmother. Charlotte says stepmothers are wicked, but Nina is wonderful.

Dante asks Lulu what happened. She says she did something stupid. She tells him that she found Charlotte hiding and could tell she was upset, but she made it worse. She told Charlotte she was her mother. She says instead of making her feel better, she scared her. Dante says he doesn’t think she was scared, but Lulu says Charlotte wanted to get away from her, and she doesn’t blame her. They’re strangers to each other. Oh, now the light bulb comes on.

Nathan and Maxie go over the night they were handcuffed together and whose fault it was. Maxie finds one more present. Handcuffs. She asks who they’re for – her or him? He says they can negotiate.

Lulu asks Dante what if Charlotte hates her forever. He says that’s not going to happen. Charlotte has fallen asleep on Valentin’s shoulder. Everyone starts to leave.

Anna tells Andre that Valentin thanked her because her rejection inspired him to change his life. She doesn’t believe it though. She thinks he came to Port Charles to get revenge. She sees them go down in the elevator.

Scotty tells Elizabeth that if she hears from Franco to let him know and tell him to call. He leaves, and Elizabeth asks Gene if a guy was really murdered there. She acts all excited, saying she watches true crime stories, and asks if he could tell her where. He tells her the alley in the back.

Brad asks Finn why Hayden thinks he’s taking the serum, and that the drug he’s taking is highly addictive. Hayden returns, and asks Finn for a game of pool.

Elizabeth finds Franco’s phone in the alley. There’s blood on it. She wonders what happened.

Tomorrow, Michael tells Josslyn that Sonny has nothing to do with Morgan’s death, Sam asks Alexis what she’s lying about, and Julian has information for Jason.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa asks Scheana if everything is okay in Scheana/Shay land. Scheana says it’s all good there, but with the girls, it’s another story. She’s expected to cough up extra money for the shower that she was unaware of. Lisa suggests she make things clear to the girls, but leave Katie out of it.

Tom is Batmanning (hanging upside down) and Ariana tells him he needs to get ready for his birthday party. He’s having a “fundrager” for Project Elevate, which helps to give schooling to kids in Haiti. How surprisingly un-shallow of him. He says tonight kicks off a week of debauchery. After his party, they’re having a birthday roast for Jax that Kristen is hosting. Tom gives Ariana the heads up that he’s invited Stassi to the fundraiser. I hate his hair. There, I said it.

Katie has to go back to the paint store, since Lisa hated the samples for the VIP room that she’d brought back. All the colors look the same to Schwartz. Katie tells him his eyes look like Jax’s eyes, and he says he hasn’t been drinking that much. We flash back, and yes, he has. They discuss a fight they had after the shower. Katie had wanted help in bringing the gifts back, and Schwartz wanted to stay out drinking with his friends. He tells her she was being Tequila Katie and she says he was raging drunk when he got home. He calls her a bitch, and she tells him thanks for coming and walks out. Leaving him there. She drives past and tells him to call an Uber, because if he’s going to call her a bitch, she’s going to be one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tom is carrying one of those gigantic checks like from Publishers Clearing House, except it’s a blank. Everyone is arriving for the fundraiser and they make small talk. Which is really not much different than the talk they usually make. In his interview, James discusses his new job, and we flash back to the new boss telling him that if he drinks, he’ll lose his job and be given an amateur haircut. Tom does some Saturday Night Fever dance moves, since he’s wearing a white suit.

Scheana walks up to James and his girlfriend, Raquel, saying she’s glad they’re still together…considering. This ought to be good. James asks considering what, proving how stupid he really is, and Scheana asks if Raquel knows about Ellie, the girl who had a photo of herself in bed with James, dated when he was already dating Raquel. James says she’s a DJ groupie. In her interview, Scheana says he found the one beautiful dumbest girl in LA who believes his lies. This, coming from another one. And I’d hazard a guess there are quite a few beautiful dumbest girls in LA.

Lisa arrives. They’re using one of those Star Shower things, so there are green sparkles everywhere. Whenever I see an ad for one of those, I think of the customer review that I read where the person said not to buy it unless you hate your neighbors. Which is kind of what I’d thought. Scheana and Kristen tell Lisa how stupid Raquel is. Scheana brings up the money thing, and says she didn’t expect the shower venue to be split only three ways. Katie comes by and everyone gets quiet. In her interview, Scheana says she’s a people pleaser and doesn’t know how much more she can take.

Jax tries to pay the tab and his card is declined, so Brittany pinch hits. In her interview, she says, now make me a sandwich, and I laugh. She’s so cute and personable, I just don’t get what she sees in Jax. The birthday doughnuts are brought out. Lisa asks about Lala, who seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. Lisa is disappointed that she hasn’t even called in to work. Ariana talks about Stassi, saying that she tries to tell people how to live their lives, but she’s not having it.

Lisa asks Katie about her paint samples for the VIP room, and Katie tells her about the fight she and Schwartz had. Schwartz sidles up to the conversation. Lisa tells them it’s time to sort this nonsense out.

Scheana tells Ariana that she’s been feeling lonely lately. Shay isn’t around as much, and doesn’t respond to her texts, blowing her off if he’s working. Welcome to the world where people work when they’re at work. She tells Ariana that she feels like she can’t have anything going on in her own life because everything is about Katie this summer. Ariana says maybe they’re not her real friends. Leaving out the part about when it was Scheana getting married, it’s all we heard about for a year. Not to mention she has a wedding photo the size of my bathroom above her couch. And they’re divorced now.

$8600 has been raised, and Tom says it will help him get through his hangover the next day.

Raquel accompanies James to his new job at the Bradbury Hotel. Max shows up as well. James tells him about the fundraiser, and says he didn’t miss much, except Scheana trying to stir the pot. James says this is his new PUMP. The camera pans around, and it looks pretty empty. He thanks his new boss for the opportunity to play for no one.

Lisa talks to Peter about Lala. She’s annoyed that she’s been supportive, and Lala just isn’t showing up for the job that Lisa gave her when she was on the skids. Scheana tries to talk to Katie about how Katie tends to fight with Schwartz when she’s drunk. Because she can’t stay on a topic that doesn’t involve herself, Scheana moves on to complaining about the price of the shower and getting angry drunk texts from Kristen. In her interview, Katie says she would have hoped the bridesmaids would have worked that out among themselves. Yeah, me too. I don’t need to be Emily Post to know you don’t discuss shower finances with the bride. Scheana says she also got a drunk text from Kristen about Ariana, after which Katie extracts herself from the conversation.

Jax, Brittany, and her mom, Sherri, go out for dinner. Jax tries to prepare them for the birthday roast; he’s hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. They talk about his arrest in Hawaii. In her interview, Brittany says her mother is only there for a short time, so she didn’t want to leave her out, but she’s a tough woman and should be able to take it. Brittany tells a story about secretly having a keg party where her mother almost got arrested for allowing underage drinking. Jax tops that with how he sold report cards when he was in school. Shocking! Jax went to school???!

Tom visits Scheana and Shay so that they can go over material for the roast. Shay looks a lot better since he sobered up. Scheana brings up Katie being meaner, now that she’s friends with Kristen and Stassi again. Scheana asks if Tom thinks drinking is involved, and he says he does. She says any time they bring it up, it’s not worth it, and Shay says when someone gets defensive like that, there’s usually a problem.

Stassi and Katie go to a head shop. They’ve gotten marijuana cards from the doctor for basically bullsh*t; stress or something. Katie talks to Stassi about her conversation with Scheana regarding the bridal shower. Stassi wonders if Scheana was raised by wolves. Katie thinks smoking weed will help with her anger. Instead of Tequila Katie, she could be Toking Katie. I’m guessing Stassi just wants to smoke weed. They buy a bunch of cool edibles.

Kristen and Brittany get together to discuss the roast. Brittany says she’s not a comedienne, so she needs some help. Brittany gets a text from Tom, telling her he’s going to bring up the did she or didn’t she Kristen/Brittany thing. Kristen explains to Brittany’s mother that it was a rumor, but Sherri is not too thrilled and threatens to take Brittany back to Kentucky.

The roast begins! Jax is given a cartoon-like crown (like the one from the old margarine commercials), and Kristen starts the show with a list of crappy things Jax has done. Ariana is introduced next. She mentions that the last time they celebrated his birthday, he got arrested. Katie follows, and then Scheana. We flash back to various Jax stupidities. Shay and Tom give their input, with Shay saying that he’s glad he’s not the fattest of the group anymore. Tom brings up the Kristen/Brittany “rumor,” and Brittany covers Sherri’s ears. Tom gives Jax a portrait in an Andy Warhol comic strip style.

Stassi takes the mic. She reveals some objects and we’re supposed to guess what they have in common. The answer is, Jax you can go f-yourself, but I don’t really understand it. Lisa has sent a video message requesting him not to post public pictures of his genitalia, because she is the only one in the world who calls it that. Brittany and Schwartz round out the roast. Schwartz says if you’re one of Katie’s bridesmaids, there’s a 57% chance Jax has slept with you. He intimates that Jax has also had some men, and in his interview, Jax is concerned about Sherri hearing all of this stuff. None of the jokes are particularly funny, but I think this is something where “you had to be there.” It’s not like he’s Frank Sinatra or even Pauly Shore.

I’m hungry, but I can’t think of anything I really want. I think that means I’m not really hungry.

Afterwards, Kristen tells Tom she’s not too happy with him. He uses the excuse that it’s a roast, and tells her not to be so mad. Jax tries to smooth things over with Sherri, who would like him to explain what the remark about sleeping with men was all about. He tells her that he once had a gay roommate, who was also his best friend, and that’s where they’re getting it from. In his interview, he says out of all the heinous things he’s done, Sherri has to focus on him maybe kissing a guy. In a rare moment, I agree with Jax.

Next time, a paint color is finally chosen for the VIP room, Sherri discusses the roast with Jax, and James gets in a fight at his new job. They showed that in last week’s preview too, so I’m hoping it’s not just another tease.

✍ Because there was no Friday post…

Quotes of Last Week

Sometimes it’s necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly. Edward Albee, The Zoo Story

In The Name of Diversity, You Must Conform! –  MRCtv

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use. Emily Post


January 19, 2017 – Final GH of the Week & a Quote So You Don’t Go Home Empty-handed


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Maxie thanks Lulu for pulling everything together, but she says it was all Nathan.

Charlotte is glad that Valentin married Nina. He tells her that he is too. Nina goes to the bar. She makes small talk with Griff, who asks how Charlotte is. Nina says some days are good, some bad, and suggests he say hello. He wonders how Valentin would take it, but Nina says they have to work together, just don’t mention Claudette. Griff hasn’t heard the news, and Nina tells him that Claudette is dead.

Elizabeth visits Sam. She tells Sam that Franco is in trouble.

Alexis is on AA’s step four, taking a fearless moral inventory. She flashes back to telling Julian about killing Tom. I don’t know what that is on the table, but it looks like Alexis is into salad dressing now. Ava comes by and asks what Alexis did to Julian. He’s not responding to her texts or calls, and she’s sure something happened to him.

Olivia-J (not sure how to differentiate between the two Olivias yet) tells Julian that she always has time for family. She says they shouldn’t talk about the past, but the future: his, and the rest of his family, including Jason.

Nina tells Griff that she’s sorry, and he asks what happened. She says she shouldn’t be the one to tell him, but Griff doesn’t want to ruin Dante and Lulu’s night. She tells him that Claudette drowned, and he says she was an excellent swimmer. Nina says that it was ruled a suicide by the authorities.

Julian tells his sister that he might not like Jason much, but he’s not going to kill him. Olivia says that they’ll have to move on down the list. Julian says he knows she poisoned Leo, and she says they were sugar pills, asking if he thinks she’s a monster.

Sam says it’s all she can do to tolerate Franco. Elizabeth says imagine she’s talking about someone else. Someone, who if Sam doesn’t step in to help, will be paying for something they didn’t do.

Ava tells Alexis that she and Julian have important business to discuss. Alexis says that she can stay, but just stay out of the way. Ava sees cooking sherry on the table (not salad dressing) and Alexis says she was pouring it out. Ava says if that was the case, it would be in the kitchen. She tells Alexis to go ahead and have some, she won’t tell as long as she doesn’t run down Julian again. Alexis insists that she wasn’t going to drink it.

Maxie and Nathan have their first dance. Song part.  Everyone smiles, kisses, or whatever. I get bored pretty quickly. It’s like going to a shower – they’re only fun if they’re yours.

Anna remembers the watch again. Andre asks if she’s all right. She says she’s just thinking about the past.

Olivia tells Julian that she would never hurt a child. He says Anna might think differently. She tells him never to mention her again, and she would never have harmed Leo. Julian tells her if she’s unhappy, come to him and leave his family out of it. She says she has other uses for him. He repeats that he won’t kill Jason. She says until she’s ready to stage her grand entrance, she can’t think of any other way. He says she might as well turn herself in if she does that.

Elizabeth tells Sam that the police think Franco killed Tom. She says it was someone else and Franco knows who. Sam wonders why he doesn’t go to the police. She tells Sam the person he’s protecting is Alexis.

Spinelli introduces Mac as the fatherish of the bride, and he gets up for the father/ daughter dance. Felicia tells him it’s okay if he cries. Emma tells Robin that Uncle Mac is the best. Nathan dances with Obrecht, who looks absolutely stunning. She tells him she never thought she’d get this chance, and he says they’ll have many more occasions to share. Spinelli announces that it’s time for everyone to dance. Otherwise known as awkward time. Griff stays at the bar, looking like he already has a headache, but tells the bartender to keep them coming.

Elizabeth says that Franco never called Alexis by name, but tells Sam about what he told her. Sam asks why she decided it’s Alexis. Elizabeth tells Sam about Alexis walking past her in a fog at the hospital. She says she’s not making it up, and Sam has to help Franco.

Ava tells Alexis that Julian’s goal is to restore her to the woman he loved before she started drinking. She says Alexis is playing Julian for a fool. Even though she has to live with him, she gets his silence about her drinking. Ava says all his machinations are just his form of enabling.

Julian tells Olivia-J that the police commissioner and Sonny are probably in the loop. If they take Jason out, it will just expose her. She thinks Sonny will be in prison soon, but Julian says  that Sonny has a long reach, even in Pentonville. He suggests she plant another bomb to divert the suspicion. She asks who he had in mind.

Valentin dances with Charlotte. Lulu asks Dante if he thinks she’s okay. He says she’s fine, but Lulu says she wishes she could comfort her. Dante says the custody hearing is soon, and Lulu asks what if they lose. Valentin goes outside with Charlotte, and they look at the stars. He tells her go back in for the bouquet toss, and recites Shakespeare or something about the constellations. Griff comes out and grabs Valentin, saying he killed Claudette.

Charlotte sees through the window and walks through the reception area. Lulu follows.

Griff tells Valentin he doesn’t deserve Charlotte. Valentin beats the snot out of him, and says he’s nothing to her. Anna runs out and tells Valentin to get off of Griff, and punches him. She says Griff is a good man, and Valentin disgusts her. He starts to stutter, and says that’s what she’s always said about him.

Cake cutting time! Simple white with a red flowers on top. I like it. Maxie smushes the cake in Nathan’s face. That, I hate. I was at a wedding once where the bride ran to the bathroom crying after the groom did that to her. The worst wedding I have ever been to. It was the day after Christmas, a state away, and they had a cash bar. Have you ever had $4 (this was 1980something) white wine in a juice glass? On top of it, the space was adjacent to a real bar where a football game was being watched, and we could hear all the audience participation. Now where was I?

Sam suggests that Franco is trying to throw the suspicion off of himself. Elizabeth asks if Alexis knew Tom. Sam insists it’s not her; she knows her. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know Alexis at all.

Alexis says Julian’s monitoring is no day at the beach. Ava responds that it’s better than her daughters doing it, but sooner or later she’ll have to choose – the booze or them. Ava says the longer Julian keeps her drinking a secret, the longer she has to perfect her tricks. She’s not ready for sobriety because her secrets are safe, and as long as they are, drinking will be an option.

Olivia-J says Julian has thought of everything. He asks if she gives her blessing, and she says it had better work. He promises it will. She says it’s interesting, the lengths he’ll go to for Jason. He says Sam loves him, and he’s hurt her enough. Olivia says she knows he loves his children and will do anything for them, and she wishes she had that option. She says she was cheated out of love and having her own family, everything Julian got while she was in exile on the other side of the world. He tells her there’s still time for her to have those things. She says maybe, but it’s past time for the people to pay for what they’ve done. She’s head of the Jerome family now. Like this is a real accomplishment.

Alexis says she can’t recall ever seeing Ava without a martini. Ava says she’s never gone to an out of town dive bar to drink and run someone over. Touche. Alexis gives Ava the sherry and tells her to have at it.

Sam is like, you claim to know my mother better than I do? Elizabeth says it’s common knowledge what happened at the trial, and asks if she hasn’t noticed anything. Sam says it’s pathetic that Elizabeth is so love-struck. Elizabeth says she likes Alexis, and if she killed Tom, she was just trying to defend herself. Like Elizabeth she did when Tom raped her.

Julian comes home. He asks where Alexis is. Ava says he never called her back. She says Sam accused her of planting the bomb. Julian says she’s wrong. Ava says that Sam is convinced there’s someone else behind the scenes, and asks Julian what kind of trouble he’s gotten them into.

Olivia opens a secretary that contains a shrine with photos of her and Duke. Well, photos of Anna and Duke with Olivia’s face pasted over Anna’s. She vows to seek revenge.

Anna tells Valentin that Griff doesn’t know how to fight like him, and says he’s a professional, isn’t he? She calls him twisted and spits in his face.

The reception, which doesn’t have many people in attendance and reminds me of a junior high dance, continues. Robin talks to Mac and Felicia about Emma being interested in boys. Emma distracts Obrecht and catches the bouquet. Obrecht feigns disappointment.

Charlotte is inside a janitor’s closet, and in the hallway Lulu makes noises about needing a blanket. Charlotte hands her one and closes the door again. Lulu goes inside, and asks if she’s hiding from someone. Charlotte is sitting scrunched up with her head on her knees. Lulu says when she’s upset, the best thing to do is talk about it, and if Charlotte needs to talk, she’ll listen

Anna says Valentin is twisted and dangerous. He asks when she started caring about defenseless men, and says he was invisible to her. She flashes back to him stammering about celebrating her birthday with her.

Rose petals are thrown at the bride and groom as they make their exit.

Ava asks Julian if he knows the mystery woman. He says it would behoove her to stay out of it. Julian tries to hustle her out, but Ava says Sam knows something is up. He tells her to take care of her own family and he’ll take care of his. She says he has her scared, and he says she should be.

Talking to the pictures, Olivia says they could have had a beautiful life together. Except for Julian.

Alexis sees that Julian is back. He tells her Ava is gone and asks how the meeting went. She says she stood in front of a bunch of strangers and almost confessed to Tom’s murder. He says don’t do that, and she says they haven’t arrested Franco yet. Drunk, she can handle it; sober, she doesn’t know what she’ll do. He says she doesn’t have to handle it alone.

Elizabeth tells Sam that if Alexis killed Tom, she’s sure she suffered at his hands first. She says if Sam can’t intervene for Franco’s sake, do it for her mother’s.

Olivia says she can’t blame Julian entirely; Anna did everything she could to cause damage. We flash back to when we were all a lot younger, and Anna is warning Olivia to stay away from Duke. Olivia says that Anna will suffer, and suffer, and suffer.

Griff asks what’s going on. In Anna’s flashback, she tells Valentin she doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday with him. The camera is at his ankles and he’s wearing flood pants. He stutters as he asks her to look at him. He looks like Richard III, kind of hunchbacked, with a scarred face and clawlike hand. Anna says she remembers, and starts to cry.

Lulu tells Charlotte that she knows what it feels like to miss your mom. It’s the emptiest, loneliest feeling in the world. She tells Charlotte that she still has a mom. Her. She’s Charlotte’s real mommy.

No GH on Friday…sniff… On Monday, Nathan and Maxie start their new life together, Brad is looking for Franco, and Charlotte says Lulu is not her mommy.

Parting Gift Quote

You cannot cook with hate in your heart or your food will suffer. – finalist on Top Chef (Okay, I wasn’t totally paying attention.)



January 18. 2017 – Surprised by a GH Thanksgiving, So I’ll Just Ramble & Show You a Puppy


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Not wanting to break a streak, the President’s final press conference was on at 3 p.m. I kept flipping back to see if it was over, and got excited for a millisecond when I saw Dante and Lulu. But then, Olivia came in saying, “Happy Thanksgiving,” and I realized that I was in rerunland. Here’s hoping the new administration are a bunch of early risers who hate The View more than GH.

I’m pretty certain that the rest of the week might be a bust too, with the inauguration happening and all.

So here’s a puppy picture.


☕ I did watch Star, which it looks like they’re also rerunning on Saturday nights. The casting is genius on this show. I was loving Miss Lawrence tonight, as well as some blue lipstick. Poor Benjamin Bratt though. He has to do all the grunt work.

👓 Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce – or is it Girlfriends’ Guide to Freedom now? or just Girlfriends’ Guide? – was also on the roster. I have the feeling that Abby is going to be sleeping with her son’s baseball coach within the next few episodes.

Game of Thrones might possibly follow their last season with a prequel. I didn’t think HBO would let go of something that makes so much money.

💀 American Horror Story has been renewed for three more seasons. Supposedly, some of the Freak Show characters will be back for the next one. That’s been my favorite season so far, so my interest is already piqued.

January 17, 2017 – A GH Wedding, a BH Girls’ Lunch, Waiting for Candace, & Some Notes


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Maxie is afraid that Nathan is being pressured, and Lulu tells her that it was all Nathan’s idea.

Nathan tells Dante he’s not nervous, but he’s blown away that everything was pulled together so quickly. The bride and her entourage arrive, but Spinelli blocks them from coming out of the elevator.

Julian tells Sam and Jason that he was the intended target, but had nothing to do with planting the bomb. Jason isn’t interested in Julian’s stories, but Julian says how about the truth? Sam asks him if the picture that Jason found looks familiar, and he asks where they got it. Jason explains about finding it at the pawn shop. Sam asks if it’s Julian and what it was doing there. Julian says everything that’s happened is about the family, and it’s time he told her everything.

Winston tells the boss that the plans are in motion. She pours tea.

There’s something wrong with Leo, and Olivia tells Ned she’ll meet him at GH.

Maxie wants out of the elevator. Spinelli wants to err on the side of caution, and tells Nathan to blindfold himself. Nathan says that they’re not traditional, but Spinelli points out how many times his plans have gone awry. Dante puts a napkin around Nathan’s eyes. Maxie and the bridal party walk through. Maxie says the venue looks spectacular, and Nathan says nothing is too good for her.

Andre and Jordan see one another. He asks what could be more romantic than a surprise wedding. Curtis joins them, saying he needs to speak to Jordan. He’s arranged for her to meet Buzz, but it might have to be tonight.

Winston tells the boss that Julian is refusing to kill his son-in-law, but he might change his mind when his own son pays the price.

Olivia runs into the hospital. She tells Sam that she got a call from Ned, and something happened with Leo.

Mac asks if Maxie is ready for a special delivery, and brings Georgie in. Maxie says she’s lucky to have Mac in her life. He says he’s the lucky one, and happy to be surrounded by all of his girls. Felicia takes a call, and Anna comes in with Emma.

Mac has one piece of advice for Nathan – hurt his little girl and he’ll hurt Nathan worse. He asks to walk Maxie down the aisle, and she says she wouldn’t have it otherwise. Felicia tells them that they have a problem.

Griff arrives and chats with Anna. She starts to tell him something, but Emma interrupts. Valentin comes in with Charlotte. She goes off with Emma.

Ned tells Olivia that Leo’s stomach is being pumped as a precaution. He found Leo alone at the babysitter’s with an open bottle of aspirin. The sitter says she only left the room for a second, and swears that she didn’t put the aspirin bottle there. Julian looks deep in thought.

Curtis tells Jordan that his contact only feels comfortable moving Buzz within a certain window. Jordan explains who Buzz is to Andre. She asks Curtis where the meeting is supposed to take place, but Curtis says he’ll fill her in on the way; the less everyone knows, the better. She agrees, and Curtis says he’ll let her know right away when it’s set up. Andre tells Jordan that letting Curtis keep a material witness from her, and meeting him somewhere in secret, is compromising her ethics and safety. He wants her to choose not to go with Curtis and stay with him. Somehow, I don’t think this has to do with Buzz, and Andre has some serious jealousy issues.

Felicia says Lucy’s flight has been redirected, and she won’t get in until midnight. Maxie is worried that they won’t have someone to marry them. A still blindfolded Nathan says that they have determined pushy people in the room, and they’ll find someone. I guess Griff can’t do it unless they’re Catholic? Maxie wonders if the universe is telling them something.  Mac tells Robin what happened, and that they’ll have to delay the wedding. Robin says that there’s someone in the room who can marry them – Spinelli.

Spinelli was ordained from the Church of Illuminating Wonders so he could marry Sam and Jason. I have to admit, I googled it to see if it was real, but there’s no such church. He’s hesitant because of his past with the bride, but Maxie says she’d love for him to officiate. He says marry her, he shall. Griff asks Anna what she wanted to tell him, but she tells him that they’ll talk after the ceremony.

Valentin suggests Emma and Charlotte sign the registry. Lulu tries to get him to leave, but he says he’s not going anywhere. She says it’s Maxie’s day and she’s not fighting with him, but he’s not welcome there. Nina pops out, saying yes, he is, and tells them to table the conversation since the wedding is starting. Lulu sits, and Nina asks Valentin what’s up. He says that Lulu wants to tell Charlotte that she’s her mother. Nina says it’s too soon, and if Lulu really cared about Charlotte’s welfare, she’d wait.

Anna tells Valentin that she’s closer than he thinks. She says he’ll have to pay the consequences when she finds out the truth. He remarks that not everyone pays for what they’ve done, and I think he’s talking about her.

Julian ponders as Olivia discusses Leo with the others. She wonders how she could trust some stranger to care for her son. Julian says she’s not to blame for what happened. The doctor comes out.

Jordan tells Andre that it could mean the difference between putting the right or wrong person away. Andre says he doesn’t want her to trust the wrong person – Curtis of all people.

The ceremony starts with Emma and Georgie as flower girls. Lulu comes next. She’s the only attendant? I guess so, because here come Maxie and Mac. Needless to say, Maxie’s gown is gorgeous. Off the shoulder, lacy, and a full skirt, but not too long of a train.

For someone who was unprepared, Spinelli certainly does well. He does the objection thing and everyone laughs, but Obrecht runs in, saying the mother of the groom objects most strenuously, making me think she might be a match for Spinelli. I always forget how good Kathleen Gati is in this role, and wish they’d use her more.

Nathan asks what she’s doing, and she says she’s the wounded party. Maxie says she thought Obrecht was on board with them getting married, but Obrecht is appalled that she was notified via text message. Everyone else was too, but she says she’s the groom’s mother and was in surgery all day. Obviously, her attendance means nothing to her son. Nathan says he just got distracted. She says no one even noticed she was missing. Nathan says he’s glad she’s here, and Maxie says she is too, addressing her as h Schwiegermutter, mother-in-law in German. This chokes Obrecht up, and Nathan takes her to a seat of honor in the front.

The doctor says Leo will be fine. They didn’t detect anything in his system, but want to keep him overnight for observation. Olivia and Ned go in to see the non-baby in the crib. (Seriously, this is an empty crib with a bunched up blanket in it, and they’re not fooling anyone.) Julian stands in the doorway. Ned is gracious enough to ask if he wants a moment, and Julian thanks him for saving Leo. He says he’s glad that Ned is there in case anything happens to him, and to take care of Olivia, who’s a wonderful mother, and he leaves.

Julian tells Sam and Jason that Leo will be fine. Sam asks why he’s leaving, and Jason asks what he was going to tell them about the truth. Julian says it isn’t important right now. He says things have changed in the various organizations. Families were off limits, but are now considered fair game. He’s concerned that Danny and Sam might be targeted. He wishes he could tell them more, but has to go. Jason asks if Sam buys it, and she says no.

Ned says Leo is going to be fine, but Olivia is still freaked out. He says nothing is more terrifying than when your child is in danger, not that Leo is his child. Olivia says she can’t do anything about Julian being his biological father, but she’s hoping that Ned will be the father figure in Leo’s life, if he’s up for it. Ned says he thinks he is, and they kiss.

Wedding back in motion. Jordan gets a text and has to go. Andre tries to get her to stay, but that’s a no. Impromptu wedding means impromptu vows, and Spinelli hands the wedding over to Nathan and Maxie. Nathan talks about being mad at the world when he met Maxie – we flash back to that – and she opened his heart again to happiness and love. Even in tough times, she found a way to be positive. Maxie says even though she didn’t know she needed one, a hero showed up at her door. He helped her recognize that she had the strength to save herself. We see a bunch of flashbacks from their early relationship and how it progressed, while they do their vows in a voice over. They kiss, and Anna remembers looking at her broken watch.

In her flash back, Valentin comes up behind Anna and says something in French. She tells him to stop. At the wedding, everyone is applauding. Valentin turns to look at Anna, who looks panicked.

At the reception, Spinelli announces the bride and groom. I never knew that Maxie’s name was Mariah Maximillia. Everyone demands a kiss, and the couple obliges. Robin asks Spinelli if he’s cool, and he says he’s sincerely happy. He wonders where Jason and Sam are.

Jason suggests that Sam back off for a while. He says Dr. Lee told her to take it easy months ago. They kiss in the elevator.

Olivia tells Ned that Julian might have something to say about it, but Ned isn’t so sure. He says Julian was surprisingly understanding, and seemed almost grateful to him. Olivia says that Julian does seem to love his children. Ned says it seemed like something else was on his mind. Olivia wonders what that could be.

Julian goes to the boss’s new location. I have no clue what it is, but it has Asian décor. A restaurant? A tea house? Who knows. We see the boss’s high heels and that she’s dressed in red. She says she can spare a moment or two. It’s Tonya Walker…I mean, Olivia Jerome. My first thought is, oh great, we have two Olivias now, and my next thought is, dammit! I wanted it to be Helena.

Tomorrow, Olivia J. says she’ll get her revenge, Charlotte disappears, and Anna smacks Valentin across the face. He probably likes it.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I grow weary of these women. Except for LVP, who can do no wrong.

My hat’s off to Erika. She’s leaving at 6 a.m. to do her video shoot for Expensive. She tells us that people are usually offended for her videos and she just won an award for that. Anyone who’s offended by her must not have seen many videos. There’s a pillow fight with money flying around everywhere. LisaR, who comes by for a visit with Eileen, says it’s like cotton candy meets Vegas meets Miami. I thought it was more like teenage girl’s bedroom meets money meets sexy lingerie.

When the shoot is done, Erika shows Lisa and Eileen around the studio. Eileen is thinking since she gave Erica a part in her show, maybe Erika should return the favor, and shows us her jazz hands.

Here it comes. Dorit is showing PK her new dress and brings up Pantygate, and how Eileen told her she talks too much. PK suggests she should have called Uber broomstick for Eileen, but agrees that Dorit takes a while to tell a story. Ohhh, the dress is nice. It’s an LBD.

Eileen and LisaR vogue on the set after Erika leaves to change.

Kyle and Mauricio meet with LisaV and Ken at one of Mauricio’s properties. He’s branched off on his own, and is one of the top agents in the business, having sold the Playboy mansion for $200 million. Lisa thinks he’s going to make a sh*tload of money on the property. Kyle claims she was just as happy when they were in a two-bedroom apartment with the kids, but she’s glad she doesn’t have to stress going to the mailbox every day. I totally identify. She adds that Mauricio having his own company means being his own boss, so there are definitely compromises, but she understands that everything is for the family and looks at the big picture.

Kyle, LisaV, and company go to lunch. Portia has come along and makes funny pictures of Lisa with some program on her phone.

LisaR and Eden go shopping. Lisa tells Eden about Kim acting idiotic when she tried to be nice to her on game night. Eden doesn’t think it’s okay how Kim vomited up so much unproductive talk. Lisa says she’s torn, but doesn’t reference that to anything.

Kyle discusses the same thing at lunch, and we flash back to the Amsterdam dinner, which we will never, ever be allowed to forget. Kyle says Kim and LisaR just don’t like each other, and that LisaR was inappropriate in bringing up Kim’s arrest. In her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, yet she’s still talking about it. LisaV uses the f-word in front of Portia, but it’s pretty funny when she realizes.

Eden tells LisaR that she felt no connection with Kyle, but Lisa thinks Kyle was just distracted. In her interview, Eden says there’s something there that she’s going to figure out. Lisa asks what she should do with the Kim stuff. Eden says it would be different if Kim reached out, and that Kim might be sober, but that’s not the issue. Lisa thinks she’s “mostly sober.” Eden wonders what she can do. Lisa thinks that Eden being another sober woman might help Kim get through, and calls Kyle an enabler. Eden says she’s all about tough love. She tells Lisa about her sister calling her up on the New Year’s Eve before she died, and how Eden wouldn’t go out with her. Lisa says Kyle is afraid to turn her back on Kim because she might die. In her interview, Eden explains how the disease impacts the entire family. She thinks if she understands Kyle, she can help Kim. Lisa says all she’s done is try to help, yet she comes out as looking like a mean bitch. Well…

Erika and her creative director are packing for a gay festival she’s performing at in Mykonos, Greece. Kyle is coming along since she’s the only one who can get away. The director says they’ll have eight to ten trunks. That’s a lot of costume changes.

Eden meets Kyle and LisaR for lunch. Kyle lets Eden try on her mother’s wedding ring, which is 10½ karats. Kyle explains that her mom passed away a while ago. Eden asks if the drinking problem in her family was passed down. Kyle asks if it always has to come from someone, and in her interview, thinks Eden should back off. Eden tells her that Kim reminds her of her own sister. She says Kim is sad and her energy is heavy. Kyle says she’s sober, and Eden asks if she’s doing a program. Kyle makes some kind of vague noises and obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. Eden says it’s hard for her to watch someone who could be struggling. In her interview, she says everyone tried to cover up her sister’s illness and shove it under the rug. Lisa says they all experienced the ripple effect of Kim. In her interview, she hopes the conversation is a step toward healing, but realizes it could backfire.

Harrison! LisaV and Ken are going to meet Max and the adoption lawyer who facilitated the process when they got him from foster care, since he’s expressed an interest in finding his birth parents. Lisa thinks it will be emotional for all of them. Giggy! Lisa says they tried to adopt more children in England, but were told they were too old. She was 35. Pandora wasn’t keen on Max looking for his birth parents, which is why she’s not with them. We flash back to her being bummed when Lisa mentions the possibility. Max looks through the folder, and Lisa gets emotional.

Lisa takes a moment, and when she comes back, she talks about giving Max to Pandora when they brought him home, and how he was always “her” baby. She says they always got along, and there was never any competition. Lisa sees that Max’s birth father played the guitar, and talks about how Max picked it up at 14 and just knew how to play. Ken suggests getting a detective to deal with the searching end of it.

Kyle leaves for the trip with Erika. Erika is starting the day by popping some champagne, although I have no idea what time it is in Greece. The director tells her she’ll be performing at 3 a.m. She’ll also be performing for 30,000 people. Kyle arrives, and Erika shows her around. It’s not my style – everything is way too white and sterile looking – but it’s beautiful. Just don’t touch anything. In her interview, Erika says she’s stayed away from women because they tend to be judgmental, but Kyle isn’t like that.

Dorit tells us that she doesn’t like tension and conflict. She calls Eileen, who obviously wasn’t expecting the call. Dorit says it was tense the other night, and asks if she’d like to meet for a girls’ chat. She’s also going to call LisaR. At least Lisa doesn’t wait in stunned silence for ten minutes after hearing Dorit’s voice. Dorit tells her that a few drinks were coupled with misunderstanding, and invites her to the lunch with Eileen. In her interview, Dorit says she has reservations, but she’s prepared for whatever happens.

Kyle has the best sunglasses! Erika practices for the show. In her interview, Kyle says they lead very different lives. She’s still making breakfast for the kids in the morning, while Erika gets lifted by a bunch of naked, hunky guys. She exaggerates; they’re only half naked. The creative director tells them that the lift still needs to be perfected, and directs the guys to toss Erika in the pool.

Dorit meets the girls for lunch. She says it got escalated and heated the other night, and hopes they can resolve it, but if not, they tried. Dorit says it’s no excuse, but she did have a few drinks that night. She says she appreciates their input about Pantygate, but they seem to want to resuscitate it, even when Erika thought it was over. She wants to understand why it keeps being brought up. She says she and Erika are fine with it. Eileen says she understands where Dorit is coming from, and is trying to see it from Dorit’s point of view. She doesn’t remember it happening that way, but if Dorit feels that she was being aggressive, she apologizes.

Dorit brings up the text message from LisaR. In her interview, Lisa claims that she’s always right. Oh, LisaR, how misguided you are, says Dr. Seuss. Eileen suggests hitting the reset button. She says she didn’t mean to put Dorit in the hot seat or make her feel uncomfortable, and would like a fresh start. In her interview, Dorit says she’s not going to forget, but she’s hopeful. She also admits that maybe she talks too much.

Next time, Boy George performs, Erika performs, and Eden wants to talk to Kim.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David tells Veronica to get off of him. She says Kathryn is trying to kill her. Kathryn turns the tables, and says it’s the other way around. Veronica screeches that David has to believe her, but he backs away a little. Kathryn says she’s lying and that she did this, pointing out her injury. She says Veronica shot Jennifer and then tried to kill her. Kathryn wants David to call the police, but he says he’s not doing anything until he understands what went on. Kathryn says if he doesn’t call, she will. Veronica says he knows her. He says yes, he does, and backs away some more. Veronica moves forward, and David falls backward onto the couch. He sees Jennifer’s body.

David is like, wth? and Veronica says that Kathryn killed Jennifer. Kathryn tells him again that Veronica killed her. Veronica tells David to quit taking her pulse, and that it’s a crime scene, so he shouldn’t be in the middle of it. Kathryn tells him that Veronica knew Jennifer was after him, and shot her. He says it’s like Maggie Day. Veronica says that was a casualty of war. Kathryn asks what happened and if David liked her too. She tells David that he has to protect her, and to call the police now. Veronica says she didn’t do this.

Jim calls David, saying he’s out of jail and Lloyd is picking him up. David says he found Kathryn, but to tell Lloyd to drop him in front of the house and not to come inside. He says it’s too sensitive to discuss over the phone. Jim asks if Kathryn is okay, and David says somewhat. Jim is like wtf? and David tells him that Veronica and Kathryn are pointing fingers at one another, and to get there asap.

David hangs up, and Kathryn says he needs to call the police. David says they’re going to wait for Jim. Veronica wants to leave, but David tells her no. He says no one is going anywhere until Jim gets there. Kathryn asks if he’s going to let her bleed to death, and he points out that even he can tell it’s a flesh wound. He repeats that everything is going to wait until Jim gets there.

Erica calls Candace, but she says she’s in the middle of something. Erica wants to give her a David update, but Candace says they’ll talk later. Erica tells her that War is getting out of jail soon, and advises her not to stay at her house. Candace says the police are there and have a search warrant. She asks how Erica knew about War. Erica says one of her targets knows the DA, and the DA told him just now. We know this is a lie, because Jennifer has been lying dead in the Cryer mansion for a while. Like since last season. Candace asks when he’s getting out, but Erica doesn’t know. Candace tells her that the bank caught the forgery, and if she doesn’t have the money by 5 o’clock, the bank is going to foreclose. She wants the name of whoever prepared the documents. Erica offers her money, but doesn’t have enough. Erica warns her that War thinks Candace set him up, but Candace says Mitch is the one who did it. Erica says it’s crazy, and that maybe she could get the money from David. Candace says she has to work him slowly or he’ll run. He can’t think she’s taking advantage of him. She explains how to present the story.

Candace gets into her car and Oscar gets in the passenger seat. She says she’s in this mess because of him and get out. He tells her he has a mark who can make them a lot of money, and to call him. She tells him she’s going to scream and he gets out. He tells her they’re running out of time and leaves. She tells herself that she does need the money.

The cops drill open Candace’s safe. Why didn’t they just ask her for the combination? She has about 20k in cash and a lot of photos of Jim in compromising positions. The officers bag the evidence.

Mitch goes to Benny’s house. Benny apologizes, and asks what happened to the truck. Mitch says it’s the only thing that was his, and now it’s all bent up. He thinks what’s happening isn’t right, and Benny agrees. Mitch says it is what it is, and they had something for a minute. Benny adds that they tried. Mitch asks if Benny is all right, and Benny insists he is. He asks why Benny is sitting outside, and Benny says Candace is supposed to bring him some money. Mitch suggests they get Benny’s truck out of the tow yard, but Benny says the bank is taking everything, even what he had before he got the tow yard. The bank told him if he tries to take his own truck, he’ll be arrested. Candace put everything in the mortgage. Mitch says screw everything, and they should just go get the truck. Benny says how, and Mitch tells him how he got his own truck out. Benny says the cops are probably all over the place, and Mitch apologizes for losing it. Benny says he’s getting there too.

Mitch says Candace needed the money for War, but he took care of it. They talk about how neither one of them is “about that life.” Mitch says he can’t do what he’s thinking. He says Benny doesn’t want the money; they’ll come after him and his folks. Benny says, so he just loses everything. Mitch says they’ve been there before, but Benny says he’s getting old. He had it, and she stole it. Mitch says it was War, and asks if Benny has called Candace, but Benny says he wants her to come on her own, and he doesn’t want to hear her excuses.

A police car pulls up. Benny says he can’t bail Mitch out. Two officers approach and ask for Mitch. They tell him he’s under arrest and cuff him. One officer goes for the truck and the other reads him his rights. How come Mitch doesn’t just call his family? I know he wants to find his own way and all, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’s called them in a pinch.

Jeffrey calls Candace. She asks if he spoke to Justin and he says no. She tells him what will happen to him if he goes to prison, and he tells her not to threaten him. She says she isn’t; she’s just informing him. She tells him to call Justin on a three-way call, because she wants to talk to him. Justin answers, and says Jeffrey had better tell “that bitch” that nothing happened between them. There’s silence, and Candace asks if Jeffrey heard Justin. Justin asks who it is, and she says the bitch who he didn’t want knowing anything. Justin gets agitated, and Jeffrey tells him not to pay attention to Candace, and tells Candace to apologize. She does, and Jeffrey says they need his help. Justin says he’ll do it for Jeffrey. When Justin hangs up, Candace tells Jeffrey that they have him. Jeffrey asks what she said to Justin, and she says, what she had to. Jeffrey says she’s not helping and they’re doing it his way.

Wyatt comes out of his hospital room fully dressed. Jeffrey tells him that the doctor hasn’t discharged him, and he isn’t leaving. Wyatt says he hears that, and walks out.

Justin putters around the kitchen, pretending to look for evidence. He takes something out of a drawer that looks like an EpiPen. It is a pen. A fat, red, felt tip. He makes some marks on the hot tub cover and says he thinks they have something, and that a forensics team should look at the hot tub. He has the other officers help him move the cover. I have no idea what’s in his head.

Candace gets to her house and Jeffrey comes out. Candace apologizes for what she said, and he asks what she wants. She says she needs his help, and he says that’s what he was trying to do. He tells her that he’s bought her time, but eventually, they’ll check the backyard. He tells her to get out of there, and tell Jeffrey to go somewhere he can’t be found. She says he likes Jeffrey, and Justin says not like that; he’s a friend. She tells him there’s money she needs, but he says they already went through the safe, and the money has been packed as evidence. He tells her the compromising photos of Jim are gone too. She asks if he can get them, but he says no, and that she should really go. She asks if he’ll call. He says he’s already in too deep and doesn’t know why. She says because of Jeffrey, and it’s okay if he likes him. Justin says he has to go.

Benny is still sitting outside. Hanna tells him he needs to pack, but he insists that Candace is coming. Hanna brings out a chair and sits next to him. He says he can wait by himself. She asks why he doesn’t wait inside, and he says that every five minutes she’ll be telling him to pack. She says it’s a nice house and she’s glad Candace gave it to him along with the tow yard. It shows she can still care about someone and there’s hope for her yet. Benny says that’s not exactly positive. Hanna says he’s mad because she’s right. He suggests she go in, and Hanna says she’s taking Quincy Jr. to the hotel. She says even if Candace comes, they still have to leave. She tells Benny she’ll be at the Fountain Drop Hotel. Benny insists Candance will bring money for something better. Hanna doesn’t want Quincy Jr. to see the sheriff put them out. She tells Benny she loves him and loves the way he loves his sister, but she’s not coming. She goes inside, taking the chair with her. Benny stares into the distance.

David tends to Kathryn’s wound. Veronica says David used to be like that with her, tender and caring. Kathryn says she doesn’t know how he could have loved her. David tells her don’t, and Veronica says he takes Kathryn’s side even after Kathryn tried to kill her. David tells her to shut up. Kathryn says that Veronica pushed him to another woman. Veronica says she wishes she could get out, but David is waiting for the boss man to tell him what to do, and starts talking like a plantation slave. Kathryn says she sees why David filed for divorce. Veronica tells her to stay out of it. She says she’s not the kind of enemy Kathryn wants to make. Kathryn says that’s a change of pace, since just before, Veronica was trying to kill her. Veronica says if she was trying to kill her, then she’s the same person. Kathryn says she can’t bait her, but Veronica says she’ll continue to do it in court, and not to take her down this path. She suddenly decides that the three of them – Kathryn, Jim and David – planned this, and David tells her that not everything is a conspiracy. Kathryn says she sees what David means, referring to Veronica being psychotic. David says she’s witnessing it firsthand, but don’t. Veronica starts in about how David can’t make a move without Jim, and does the slave thing again. She says she’s sick of it. David says there’s a dead body here, and she says she doesn’t give a damn. Kathryn says that’s because she did it, and tells David that they have to call an ambulance.

Kathryn realizes that the gun is next to Veronica. David sees it too, and makes a move for it, but Veronica gets it first.

Next time, Wyatt wants Jeffrey to stay, War threatens to cut Candace’s throat, and Hanna approaches Candace about Quincy.

✈  Ladies of London acknowledgement. They’re still in Scotland, with the men joining them for a final night. This leaves me feeling badly for Joan Collins Sophie, since she’s going through a nasty divorce. The highlights were a whiskey tasting where the ladies thought the whiskeys (which were no doubt very aged and expensive) tasted like everything from “cat butt” to “bad breath,” along with a huge production over the serving of haggis. This is another thing that didn’t go over big with any of the women, although a few were good sports. The way I feel is, if you’re there and it’s traditional, shut up and just try it. I was the only one, along with the chaperone, who ate whatever was put in front of me on a trip to Russia when I was in high school.

I was surprised when Julie said she didn’t eat meat. I knew Juliet was a vegetarian, and I get their names mixed up already, so this doesn’t help. Julie made a toast that Marissa read way too much into in her interview. My take was that Julie was saying that when she came to town, she was a wimp, but seeing how strong Caroline #1 is, made her grow in her own strength. Marissa wondered what the underlying meaning was, and if it was some kind of threat. She hasn’t exactly been at the top of her game though, and kept repeating that she’s tired and can’t do it – whatever it is – until Caroline #1 finally paid attention to her. They also played a bizarre balloon game, which Caroline #2 assured us would be hysterical. I wouldn’t go that far, but it was pretty funny to see a bunch of adult women (and one man – ?), wearing formal dress, trying to break a balloon by pushing it with their body against their team mate’s behind. Several of the ladies ended up on the floor laughing. Maybe the whiskey wasn’t so bad after all.

Next time, Jacqueline Onassis Sophie rocks some amazing sunglasses!

I like this show a lot, and have to admit, I’m going to miss Caroline #1 when she goes to Dubai. I’m so hoping for a spin-off show.

🍸 Quickie note about Vanderpump Rules, since I watch all of these shows like ten times. Not watch watch, but you know, it’s on in the background. After Lala’s barely there apology for skipping out on Ariana’s birthday, there was that interview where Tom claimed he was good as far as Lala was concerned – maybe forever – meaning he was not good, and she could disappear off the planet, and Ariana was drying glasses like she might kill someone. But then later, she doesn’t seem to care so much. I’m wondering if the two of them are sort of like prosecuting attorneys. They know they’re wrong, but they just can’t admit it.

January 16, 2017 – Julian Presents a Challenge, Katie is Showered, Random Thoughts & MLK Quotes


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Griff tells Julian that he’s doing well. While he checks on the X-rays, Julian calls Alexis and leaves a message. He hears someone come into the room, and assuming it’s Griff, asks how things look. It’s Winston, who tells him it’s not looking very good.

Sonny thinks about his last interaction with Nell. Jason and Sam stop by. He tells them that he’s thinking about the things he has to deal with. Well, it’s not a lie.

Nell confers with Olivia, who tells her to take the rest of the day off. Nell nearly runs into Michael on her way out.

Lulu tells Robin that she’s glad Robin could stay for Maxie’s wedding part two. She gets a text, and says there’s just a minor hiccup.

Nathan asks Nina where Maxie is. Nina says they left her alone for two seconds and she disappeared. Nathan says everyone is showing up any minute, and Nina tells him the surprise is on them.

Maxie is at a ticket window. I assume at the airport, although the airport looks amazingly like GH.

Curtis sees Jordan at the MetroCourt and asks her what’s going on. She tells him about the wedding. He tells her he can help them with the case, but has to do it on his terms, and she has to do him a solid. She says her new shoes hurt, so hurry up with the explanation. He tells her that they’re moving in on the person who caused Morgan’s death, and it’s not Sonny.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam that a luxury cage is still a cage. He’s been thinking about how whoever caused Morgan’s death is still out there. Sam says no one inspected the damage at the pawn shop, and it’s owned by a dummy corporation. Sonny tells them that the trial starts soon, so they have to move fast.

Nell tells Michael about the wedding, and he says he’s there with a tux for Dante. He asks her to join him for some hot chocolate.

Nina tells the others that she did everything as planned, and acted like it was a normal day. Nathan says all of his calls to Maxie have gone to voicemail. Nina adds that everything was fine, but Lulu says apparently not. They decide to check Maxie’s computer.

Maxie asks for a flight to Portland. The desk clerk says over 30 people are on stand-by, and she’s better off going tomorrow. She explains how great Nathan is, how he’s a hot cop who speaks French, and they’re supposed to be on their honeymoon, but she needs to go someplace where her feelings won’t be judged. Hey, she sees Spinelli, but it’s not Spinelli. I’m hoping it’s because the actor got a better gig elsewhere. I’ll miss him.

Nathan finds out that Maxie ordered a car to take he to the airport.

NuSpinelli says she’s not supposed to be there. She says she was at work, but no one showed the slightest bit of sensitivity after the wedding postponement. She wants to see Georgie, but Spinelli tells her that’s not possible right now. When she asks why he’s there, he says he’s doing some work for Sam. He tells her that Ellie is taking Georgie to DisneyWorld in his absence. Maxie asks if that isn’t a milestone, and says she wanted to be the first to take her. She makes for the window again, but Spinelli asks why she’s really fleeing (his word). Maxie says that she doesn’t want to make a sad situation all about her, and is giving Nathan space. Spinelli says he thinks the last thing Nathan would want is space. He’s rented a car, and asks her to let him drive her back. He says Nathan might surprise her.

Sam says she hasn’t had a chance to talk to Julian about the picture, but he seemed genuinely worried. Sonny says he’s partly responsible for Morgan’s death. Sam leaves the room, and Sonny asks Jason how she’s doing. Jason says good, but he’s trying not to worry her. Sonny says Jason took a risk and he appreciates that. He says when it’s over, they need to have a conversation about his role in the business.

Winston tells Julian that Jason and Curtis found the office, and the boss is upset about the expense and the inconvenience. He says they’ve had enough of Jason and to get rid of him – tonight.

Curtis explains about the hidden office to Jordan, and how they’d gotten the information from Buzz. He tells her that a woman calls all the shots. Jordan asks where Buzz is, and Curtis tells her that he’s stashed somewhere safe, but the bottom line is that Sonny is innocent. Jordan says to bring Buzz in and she’ll take his statement.

Winston tells Julian to get rid of Jason. Julian says he’s not killing his daughter’s husband. Winston says up until now, he’s done everything they requested. Julian says there were no requests, he was forced, and he’s done. Griff interrupts with the X-ray results.

Sonny tells Jason there’s no one he trusts more than him. He asks if Jason doesn’t feel like this is where he belongs. Jason says he belongs with his wife and kids. Sonny asks him to just think about it. Sam comes back in and says they’d better get going. Outside, she tells Jason she heard Sonny make him another offer. She knows things change and is with him no matter what. She looks weird, and he asks what’s wrong, but she says it’s nothing.

Michael and Nell go to Perks for hot chocolate. He reminds her of how he followed her there and convinced her to stay. She tells him that staying there has lined up with some of her long-term goals.

Nathan and Dante ask the airline clerk about Maxie, but he’s hesitant to tell them anything. Nathan says it’s not official police business, but when he starts telling the story, the clerk recognizes it, and asks if he speaks French. The clerk tells him that Maxie didn’t buy a ticket, but he heard her talking about going to DisneyWorld.

Spinelli brings Maxi back to the office. She says that if she sees another wedding accessory, she’s going to freak out. Lulu and Robin hold up bouquets, and tell her welcome to her wedding day. Nina tells her that she’s marrying Nathan tonight. She asks if Spinelli knew. He says he did, and Mac is picking up Georgie and Ellie. Maxie says she doesn’t want to force Nathan down the aisle, and Lulu tells her that it was his idea. Nina says Nathan would move mountains, heaven, and earth to be with her.

Dante looks to see if any other airlines are leaving for Atlanta, because that’s where DisneyWord is. Was that a mistake, a joke, what? Unless she was making a connecting flight, she wouldn’t be going there to see Georgie either. Spinelli calls and tells them the bride has been recovered. Sounds like something out of Kill Bill.

Jordan tells Curtis that she doesn’t like the way he went about it, but appreciates his dedication, and maybe she can trust him again. She tells him to bring Buzz in, and he may be worthy of a badge again. He says her trust means a lot, but so does Buzz’s, and wonders if there’s another way.

Julian tells Griff that Winston is his driver. Winston says he thought Julian might need assistance, and Griff tells him he’s free to go. When Griff leaves, Julian tells Winston that he took an unnecessary risk, and Winston says Julian did the same with Jason. Julian says he’s tired of being prisoner of his own life. He had a good life, and lost it because of what they’ve made him do. He tells Winston that it’s not going to happen, so go ahead and kill him. He’s not letting them tear apart his family’s lives the way they’ve torn apart his. He says Winston has made it clear, now he’ll do the same. He’s done, the hell with them, and he’s telling his family everything.

Lulu makes sure all the details are in place. It’s time for Maxie to get ready.

Olivia gives Dante his tux and tells them to get ready. Nathan thanks Dante for having his back and making him feel like a part of the family. He’s honored to have him as best man. They bro hug.

Griff stops by Sonny’s place on the way to the wedding. He asks how Sonny been since he’s homebound, and if he’s found any peace. Sonny says he’s not going to excuse his lifestyle, but it’s good to know it wasn’t his fault. Griff says he’s sure it brought relief to him and Carly. Sonny says it’s helped the healing process, but Griff senses there’s something more. He says something made him go there today, and he can listen. Sonny says he slept with someone other than his wife.

Michael wants to ice skate, but Nell hesitates. She says she actually skates quite well, and could have made it into the Olympics. Coaches cost money though, and her father told her to forget about it, so she did and hasn’t skated since. Michael says he’s sorry, and she says dreams are just dreams, and not everyone can afford to follow them, which she learned at a young age. She says she’ll pass on skating, since it doesn’t have good memories. Michael says if we wallow in pain, it can affect the rest of our lives, and that we should be defined by what we do today. She should let go of the baggage that’s holding her back.

Sonny tells Griff that he was hurting and drinking after Carly left, and heard she kissed her ex. Griff asks who it is. Sonny says someone close to the family who’s getting close with Michael, so this would hurt him too. Griff says he can’t judge him for his actions, but a bunch of Hail Marys probably won’t help him. Sonny wants to know if he should tell the truth.

Winston tells Julian that letting his family know would just put them in the boss’s sights. Julian says he thought he was keeping them safe, but everything he’s been made to do has put them in harm’s way. He thinks maybe the boss should worry about him for a change. Maybe it’s time to turn on the lights. He says when that happens, he’ll be a powerful enemy. He’s done playing. Julian walks out.

Winston calls one of the temp waiters at the wedding. We saw him earlier. Olivia had questioned what he was doing there and Nell said he was a temp she’d hired because they didn’t have enough staff for the restaurant and Maxie’s wedding. I don’t think Nell has anything to do with it though she has her own revenge storyline. Winston tells the waiter that the boss is right; Julian isn’t being cooperative, and they need to go on with the plan. The waiter gets into elevator with Olivia.

At first, I was thinking the boss is going to wreak havoc at the wedding by blowing it up or something, but that really wouldn’t get them very far. Julian isn’t going to be there and he’d totally expose them if that happened. So my next thought is, they’re going to kidnap someone? Sam?

Sam tells Jason that she just needs to take it easy. He asks if she wants to go home. She doesn’t want to miss the wedding, but says that sounds good. The elevator opens and Julian is standing there.

Maxie thanks the girls, saying she treasures all of them. They group hug.

Nell tells Michael that it’s easy to let things go when you grow up in the lap of luxury. He says that’s not fair or accurate. He tells Nell that you have to keep living and trying, and you’ll make it through. She asks how he stays so positive, and he says he doesn’t like the alternative. He says every day he makes one happy memory, so he looks forward and not back. He suggests they rent some skates.

Griff tells Sonny that there are two schools of thought: the truth will set you free, or the damage is already done. Sonny says so either he suffers in silence or bites the bullet, but he doesn’t know which to choose. Griff has to leave, and Sonny walks him to the door, thanking him for stopping by. Griff tells him to think and pray about it, and he’ll know when he knows. Griff, the great philosopher. The next Kahlil Gabran.

Jordan tells Curtis that anything less than Buzz’s statement isn’t good for her. Curtis asks if she’d be comfortable taking it outside of the station. She agrees, and he says he’ll set it up. She asks if he’s okay with this, and he says he trusts her.

Julian says he has to tell Sam something. She says she’s not up for his lies and evasions, but he says the both of them need to hear this.

Winston tells the boss that they’ll send Julian a message that he won’t be able to ignore.

Olivia is on the phone and says, you’re scaring me.

Tomorrow, maybe the surprise wedding happens, Griff asks Anna what happened, Winston says the plans are in motion, and Olivia plans to meet someone at GH.

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! Harrison! And the rest! ♫ Here on Vanderpump Isle! ♫

In her interview, Lisa says that people say that she’s obsessed with dogs, and they’re right. I knew there was a reason I liked her. Katie stops by with new SUR dress choices and Lisa picks one out. She asks Schwartz and Katie how the birthday trips went. Schwartz loved the fast cars, RV and beer, and Katie says sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. She invites Lisa to her shower, and Lisa says she’ll be by for a glass of champagne.

Scheana tells Brittany that she heard Jax was a d*ck during the trip. How this would be different from any other time, I’m not sure. In her interview, Brittany says Jax needs to shape up. Right now, her mother likes him, and she wants to keep it that way.

Lala strolls into work, and Tom asks what happened that she never showed up for Ariana’s birthday. She says she’s feeling that she doesn’t want to surround herself with people who aren’t positive and bring out the best in her. When she heard Jax was on the guest list, she got a knot in her stomach. After pointing out that she had plenty of time to say something about it, Tom tells her that he and Ariana have taken a lot of grief in sticking up for her, and she couldn’t even be bothered to answer their texts. She says she’ll be glad to pay them back for the ticket, but he says that’s not the point. Scheana joins them, and basically says the same thing. Lala says she’s sorry, and she has a gift for them if they want it. In his interview, Tom says he’s probably done with Lala forever.

Kristen hosts a comedy show at the Improv. We flash back to Ariana being offended that Kristen was horning in on her territory, and saying that she takes comedy seriously. In her interview, Kristen says that Ariana refuses to come because she might laugh. Kristen’s friend, Gabi, does a bit about an app that turns d*ck pics into classic art to “camouflage” them. In his interview, Jax thinks it’s a low blow that they used one of his pics, but I don’t know if he gets that he made a joke. In his interview, Schwartz says the pic had actually gone viral, and Tom recognized Jax’s shoes. Jax thinks he’d be a good model for sex toys. I will point out again that he’s nearly 40 years old.

Brittany brings the man behind the pic to Stassi’s attention. She’s impressed that Brittany can call out Jax’s penis in a mash-up. Brittany thought it would be nice if they’d given her a heads up and she definitely doesn’t realize she made a joke. Neither does anyone else, and I’m shocked. I’m usually not the one with a 14-year-old boy’s mentality. In her interview, Kristen says you’d be surprised how difficult they are to find, and if you google d*ck pic, all you get are old men politicians in navy blue suits. I’ll take her word for it.

Lisa isn’t thrilled with the paint colors that Katie has picked out for her dining room, saying they look more like something for a nursery. Katie tells Lisa about the comedy show, and explains the app joke. Lisa tells her that it’s like she’s speaking a different language. Katie says it’s not something she’s ever received, and Lisa says her neither, and she feels left out. Katie tells Lisa about Jax’s contribution.

Brittany is annoyed that Jax didn’t cop to the pic at first. He talks to Kristen and tells her that he didn’t appreciate it, and Brittany says she feels hurt. Stassi says the group is very forgiving, so it often doesn’t register that anything would make anyone feel weird. Kristen wonders who hasn’t seen it, and doesn’t get why Brittany doesn’t think it’s funny, because she’s one of the most dense people ever born.

They discuss Lala. Kristen thinks the only one who can actually screw Lala over is James. Lala says she can’t stand him, but he’s on her Snapchat, so Kristen can’t figure out whether the hate is true or fake. In her interview, Stassi says she knows for a fact that Lala is dating a married man, but they need James to confirm it.

Lala visits James. He asks if she wants ice cream, his new vice since giving up drinking. She tells him she’s a grown ass woman and asks if he has liquor. All he has is whiskey. She wonders what happened, since he used to pop a bottle every other second. He says he’s been working on his music, and asks why she didn’t show for Ariana’s birthday trip. Lala says she decided just before leaving that she wasn’t going. She says she spent the weekend at the Beverly Hills Hotel, but insists her mother paid for it. James wonders why he wasn’t invited over. Lala talks about a trip to Malibu and asks if he’d like to come along. They’re taking a helicopter, and he questions the way she travels. Lala is tired of everyone being on her back about her possibly getting things from being on her back. She’s shocked that none of the other girls have ever taken a private jet, saying that no girl who isn’t ugly hasn’t been on one, because that’s LA. I have no words.

James is meeting Kristen and Stassi. Even though she’s a step away from a restraining order, Kristen is willing to take one for the team, if it means screwing over Lala. In his interview, James wonders what they want, since he knows they’re not interested in socializing with him. Kristen tells him that it seems like he’s close with Lala, although Lala talks smack about him. James seems surprised, but says she has been acting strange. They discuss the married boyfriend. He tells them Lala’s boyfriend rented an amazing house for Coachella, but made everyone sign a non-disclosure agreement. They look at it online. James thinks Tom and Ariana signed it, and Stassi has her suspicions since they always defend Lala.

Brittany’s look-alike mom, Sherri, has come to visit. In his interview, Jax says there will be no sex, no drinking, no cursing, and no pooping with the door open. If I was Brittany, I’d have my mom move in. They discuss Florida. Jax says he’s never raising a family in LA, and this leads Sherri to ask if they go to church. He doesn’t like the old-world style, and Sherri suggests he come to her Pentecostal church, which he thinks is some kind of cult. Jax needs to get out more.

A mansion has been rented for Katie’s shower. Scheana has brought baby bottles of tequila for parting gifts and the buffet is $200 worth of Taco Bell. Stassi tells Scheana about the NDA, and she insists that Tom and Ariana would never have signed something like that.

In the car, Brittany suggests that she and Jax might one day have a shower. And she doesn’t mean the kind you take in the bathroom. Sherri tells Jax it would be a shame to waste Brittany’s time, and he tells her that times have changed. He points to Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. You, Jax, are no Kurt Russell. In his interview, he’s annoyed about the pressure. Ugh! I hate that I’m having to say this, but he’s right. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be making a firm commitment (or not) after a year, but now is not the time. He’s a captive audience, and it’s two against one. Okay. Now back to hating Jax.

Stassi who is wearing difficult to explain dress with sleeves made from spaghetti strap-like strips, that I imagine are a real pita to get into claims that Ariana is working the groomsmen situation for all it’s worth. When she wants to, she hangs out with the guys, but she’s at the shower as well. Stassi says Katie didn’t want her around for a reason. Katie is thrilled with the venue, and can’t wait to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz. Lisa arrives, which thrills her even more.

The guys go out for Mexican food. Jax tells them how he was verbally accosted the whole way there. In his interview, Schwartz thinks one day Jax will go out for something, and the next time they see him will be his mug shot. Ha-ha!

Lisa asks Sherri how she likes Jax. She says she does, and Lisa wonders if it’s enough to have him as a son-in-law. In her interview, Lisa wonders if she’s met the real Jax. I’m still stumped as to why Brittany is so enamored of him. Sherri says they have to get him to church, and Lisa thinks he’s not ready for that. She hopes he doesn’t break Brittany’s heart. Brittany says if he does, she’ll break something of his. The something we already discussed that was in the picture. Lisa thinks that should be put in the wedding vows. Katie’s mom thanks everyone for coming. Lisa says she loves Katie, and she’s a credit to her mom.

Jax talks about going back to Minnesota. He says that no one tells you that marriage is great, they only tell you not to do it. Schwartz suggests they all go to Minnesota. He says he’s not into the institution of marriage, but he wants Katie to be happy. They toast to marriage being the best new thing is Schwartz’s life.

Stassi thinks she should have waited to break up with Patrick until after the wedding. Hmm… I though he broke up with her. Lisa has brought a blow-up doll in case Katie wants to take a break after 30 years. Its name is Katie. No kidding. It’s on the box. Stassi tells Katie about the meeting with James. They ask Ariana about the NDA. She insists she never saw anything like it, but Stassi thinks she’s exhibiting all of the tell-tale signs of lying. Katie thinks Ariana is picking sides, and brings up some old Lala crap, wondering why Ariana is still defending her. Ariana says her thinking is delusional. In her interview, Stassi says Ariana can’t take responsibility for anything. Katie walks away from the conversation.

Ariana says she doesn’t think what Lala has said is cool, but she’s not killing herself over something someone said. Stassi says they’ve all gotten in fights. Ariana says actually, she’s never gotten in a fight with anyone (huh?). Stassi wonders why she’s even there, and Ariana says she cares about Katie, not Stassi. Stassi follows Katie’s footsteps and leaves the room. Pretty soon, Ariana is going to be talking to herself.

Next time, the bachelorette party, Stassi and Ariana tangle, James gets in another fight at work (yay!), and Jax wears a crown.

Extra Thoughts

🏊 Holy! They didn’t even end the previews for Vanderpump Rules before Summer House started. Or as I call it Zzzzzummer Houzzzzze. What’s really biting my butt is that they’ve moved Timber Creek Lodge to 8 p.m. This wouldn’t be so bad, except I watch something else at 8, and Bravo doesn’t rerun it until 2:30 a.m.! Is it really necessary to see the other shows three times before showing TCL a second time? BTW, Stassi should thank her lucky stars that Kyle was insulting and she got turned off. He is nobody’s idea of a good catch – or shouldn’t be anyway. He claims Montauk is like DisneyWorld for adults, and that you never know how or where you’ll wake up. First of all, those aren’t qualities that I would assign DisneyWorld, not to mention that I’m sure the city of Montauk thanks you, and secondly, no, just no. Watching these people drink makes my stomach turn.

✍ Just a footnote: I saw Ariana on Watch What Happens Live, and she mentioned that one of the girls claimed she had a superiority complex, and this is far from the truth. In watching Vanderpump Rules a second time, think of that buzzer sound when they get the question wrong on Family Feud. She acts very superior. Like she’s above it all. Constantly. I believe she thinks she’s being mature in some way, but it’s never a bad thing to be polite. Lecture over.

Quotes for MLK Day

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

 The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

 Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

                                                                                         – Martin Luther King, Jr.