What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Finn and Hayden get busy. He has quite a bit of tattoo action going on that I’ve never noticed before. They talk about how happy they are. That’s a sure sign a bomb is about to drop. Hayden hears my thoughts, and says she’s done waiting for the other shoe to fall.
Elizabeth leaves a message for Franco. She says they’re in this together and he has to call her back. I have the feeling “has to” isn’t in Franco’s vocabulary. Brad overhears, and asks if she’s looking for Franco. Elizabeth asks if Brad knows him.
At the dive bar, Scotty shows Gene Alexis’s picture and asks if he knows her.
Nathan carries Maxie over the threshold. Because we need to see that dress some more.
Anna tells Valentin that she remembers. He tried to kiss her on her birthday.
Lulu tells Charlotte blah-blah-blah same stuff we heard on Thursday, and that she’s Charlotte’s real mommy. Charlotte says no way. I don’t blame her. This is just a little abrupt.
Hayden rifles through junk food wrappers. Nothing. Finn says they’ll have to venture out and search for food. She doesn’t want to let him go, and he says it’s just the beginning. The beginning of their life of hunting down fast food? She goes to the bathroom or whatever, and he takes his works out of the drawer. She forgets something, and asks what he’s doing.
Brad tells Elizabeth she’s not the only one looking for Franco – he’s missed several art therapy appointments. He tells her the police were at the hospital as well. His phone rings and he steps away, saying later. Elizabeth calls Scotty, who hasn’t seen Franco either. He tells her he’s at Gene’s trying to get clues, and she says she’ll meet him there.
Maxie sees some presents in the room, and wonders why they weren’t taken back to the apartment, but Nathan tells her they’re his presents to her. She says she’ll wait to open them, since she already has the best present ever.
Nina cuts a piece of the wedding cake to set aside for Charlotte. Dante wants to talk to her, but she’s not receptive. Omg, her green dress, simple, but oh so sexy and elegant. Although anything looks good on Nina. She tells Dante that they’re tearing Charlotte away from her father.
Lulu tells Charlotte she knows she’ll always love Claudette and she’s sad, but there are a lot of people who love her, like Lulu and Dante. She explains that Rocco is Charlotte’s brother, and any time she’s sad, she can come play with him. Charlotte tells Lulu to leave her alone and storms out, slamming the door. The door is stuck and I laugh because so is Lulu. I actually like Lulu, but geez, she is way past overbearing.
Griff is still pinwheeling around, trying to get to Valentin, who suggests Andre get him out of there. Anna says she and Valentin were at the academy together. She was training to be a field agent, and he was an analyst. He asks if she remembers what he actually did, but she says she doesn’t remember much about him. Only that he was scarred and creepy. Okay, she doesn’t say that, but she’s thinking it, and says he looked different. He says she’s being polite, and he changed because of her. He certainly cleaned up well.
Hayden tells Finn she knew it was too good to be true. She asks if the cure didn’t work for him. He says he’s not sick, but he’s fought the disease for a long time, and he still needs to fight the bacteria in his system. He tells her there’s nothing to worry about. She goes back to doing whatever.
Elizabeth goes to Gene’s. She tells Scotty that Franco’s car is in the parking lot, but Scotty says he’s not there. Elizabeth thinks they should call the police because she’s an idiot.
Nathan and Maxie bask in the afterglow, and she tells him she’s excited about the future. He says he knew the second he met her that they’d be together. She suggests indulging in her favorite cookies, and he surprises her, having already put a box in the nightstand, even though he hates when she eats in bed. I’m with him there. I cannot deal with having crumbs where I sleep.
Lulu yells for help and I laugh some more. Dante looks for her and calls her phone. It’s ringing, but it’s in her purse – which he has in his hand.
Nina sees Charlotte all upset and asks where her papa is.
Valentin suggests that Anna recoiled in horror, but she claims it’s otherwise. She says she didn’t care what he looked like. He says she did, but just covered it better than most. She says he was smart and they were friends. He says he was shoved away where they could use his talents, but not look at him. He tells her that he sold his talents to the highest bidder, and had his spine straightened from the scoliosis that had plagued him. He says what’s one less cripple next to perfect agent Anna Devane.
Lulu bangs on the door. She wonders how she’ll get out, and looks up.
Scotty tells Elizabeth that calling the police will just make it worse. They found Tom’s DNA on the dog cage that came from Franco’s studio.
Maxie’s next present is a custom-made purse she wanted. She asks Nathan if he’s ever seen anything so beautiful and he agrees, but I doubt his sincerity. He gives her yet another present. It’s a necklace.
Dante tries the linen closet door. He gets it open, but no Lulu.
Charlotte tells Nina what Lulu said. Nina tells her not to think about it, and they’ll talk to her papa later.
Griff tells Andre that Valentin murdered Claudette. Andre says that Griff has a lot of unresolved feelings, and it’s easier to believe Valentin killed her than she took her own life. Griff thinks Valentin did more than try to kiss Anna.
Valentin thanks Anna for giving him the incentive to remake his life. He did come into a fortune, but prior to that, everything he had, he worked for himself. And it started in her room at the academy on her birthday. Her rejection of him gave him more than anything else ever could. Valentin leaves and joins Charlotte and Nina.
Nina tells Valentin that Charlotte is upset. He says he’ll fix it. Charlotte tells him that Griff said he killed mommy. Valentin says Griff is mad at him, so he told the worst lie he could think of. He would never hurt anyone or anything she loves. She says she hates Griff, but Valentin says that’s poison, and doesn’t want her hating anyone. Nina says Griff isn’t the only one who said something that confused Charlotte.
We hear sounds from above (no, not God or angels) and everyone looks up. Lulu plops through the ceiling.
Griff asks if she’s okay, and she says the only thing hurt is her pride. Dante asks Lulu what happened, but she just wants to get cleaned up. Valentin holds Charlotte in his arms, and asks if Lulu told her something. Charlotte says that Lulu told her that she’s her mother, but she doesn’t want her to be.
Maxie tells Nathan that the necklace is beyond stunning, and it’s vintage. He says it belonged to his great grandmother, but didn’t look as good on her as it does on Maxie. She tells him that she loves it and him.
Finn and Hayden go to The Floating Rib. Brad is there waiting for Lucas. Finn thanks him, and Hayden tells Brad to make sure that Finn doesn’t miss any doses.
Elizabeth asks Scotty if he thinks Franco is on the run because he killed Tom.
Hayden wants to play pool. Brad asks if they’re coming back to GH and Finn says hopefully. Brad says now that they’ve had a successful trial with the serum, they should start applying for grants. Hayden wanders off, and Brad asks about them being a couple.
Maxie loves everything that Nathan got her, but wishes she’d gotten him something equally as wonderful. She gives him a ball signed by Derek Jeter. She reminds him of the first game he ever saw, and says she tracked it down from the same game. She says she hopes he doesn’t mind that it’s autographed. At least she didn’t have it removed. He says he’s surprised she remembered, since they were handcuffed together when he told her. She says it was the second-best night of her life. This one is the first.
Andre, Anna, and Griff sit down for a drink. Griff asks if Valentin forced himself on her, but Anna says they were friends. When she turned him down, she assumes they went their separate ways, because she doesn’t remember him after that. She says it didn’t mean that much to her.
Valentin tells Charlotte that Lulu shouldn’t have said what she did. Charlotte asks if she was lying. Valentin says it’s complicated, and they’ll have the conversation when they’re less tired and stressed. and he’s been able to think about it. He tells Charlotte that he and Nina love her. Nina says she’s honored to be Charlotte’s stepmother. Charlotte says stepmothers are wicked, but Nina is wonderful.
Dante asks Lulu what happened. She says she did something stupid. She tells him that she found Charlotte hiding and could tell she was upset, but she made it worse. She told Charlotte she was her mother. She says instead of making her feel better, she scared her. Dante says he doesn’t think she was scared, but Lulu says Charlotte wanted to get away from her, and she doesn’t blame her. They’re strangers to each other. Oh, now the light bulb comes on.
Nathan and Maxie go over the night they were handcuffed together and whose fault it was. Maxie finds one more present. Handcuffs. She asks who they’re for – her or him? He says they can negotiate.
Lulu asks Dante what if Charlotte hates her forever. He says that’s not going to happen. Charlotte has fallen asleep on Valentin’s shoulder. Everyone starts to leave.
Anna tells Andre that Valentin thanked her because her rejection inspired him to change his life. She doesn’t believe it though. She thinks he came to Port Charles to get revenge. She sees them go down in the elevator.
Scotty tells Elizabeth that if she hears from Franco to let him know and tell him to call. He leaves, and Elizabeth asks Gene if a guy was really murdered there. She acts all excited, saying she watches true crime stories, and asks if he could tell her where. He tells her the alley in the back.
Brad asks Finn why Hayden thinks he’s taking the serum, and that the drug he’s taking is highly addictive. Hayden returns, and asks Finn for a game of pool.
Elizabeth finds Franco’s phone in the alley. There’s blood on it. She wonders what happened.
Tomorrow, Michael tells Josslyn that Sonny has nothing to do with Morgan’s death, Sam asks Alexis what she’s lying about, and Julian has information for Jason.
Lisa asks Scheana if everything is okay in Scheana/Shay land. Scheana says it’s all good there, but with the girls, it’s another story. She’s expected to cough up extra money for the shower that she was unaware of. Lisa suggests she make things clear to the girls, but leave Katie out of it.
Tom is Batmanning (hanging upside down) and Ariana tells him he needs to get ready for his birthday party. He’s having a “fundrager” for Project Elevate, which helps to give schooling to kids in Haiti. How surprisingly un-shallow of him. He says tonight kicks off a week of debauchery. After his party, they’re having a birthday roast for Jax that Kristen is hosting. Tom gives Ariana the heads up that he’s invited Stassi to the fundraiser. I hate his hair. There, I said it.
Katie has to go back to the paint store, since Lisa hated the samples for the VIP room that she’d brought back. All the colors look the same to Schwartz. Katie tells him his eyes look like Jax’s eyes, and he says he hasn’t been drinking that much. We flash back, and yes, he has. They discuss a fight they had after the shower. Katie had wanted help in bringing the gifts back, and Schwartz wanted to stay out drinking with his friends. He tells her she was being Tequila Katie and she says he was raging drunk when he got home. He calls her a bitch, and she tells him thanks for coming and walks out. Leaving him there. She drives past and tells him to call an Uber, because if he’s going to call her a bitch, she’s going to be one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tom is carrying one of those gigantic checks like from Publishers Clearing House, except it’s a blank. Everyone is arriving for the fundraiser and they make small talk. Which is really not much different than the talk they usually make. In his interview, James discusses his new job, and we flash back to the new boss telling him that if he drinks, he’ll lose his job and be given an amateur haircut. Tom does some Saturday Night Fever dance moves, since he’s wearing a white suit.
Scheana walks up to James and his girlfriend, Raquel, saying she’s glad they’re still together…considering. This ought to be good. James asks considering what, proving how stupid he really is, and Scheana asks if Raquel knows about Ellie, the girl who had a photo of herself in bed with James, dated when he was already dating Raquel. James says she’s a DJ groupie. In her interview, Scheana says he found the one beautiful dumbest girl in LA who believes his lies. This, coming from another one. And I’d hazard a guess there are quite a few beautiful dumbest girls in LA.
Lisa arrives. They’re using one of those Star Shower things, so there are green sparkles everywhere. Whenever I see an ad for one of those, I think of the customer review that I read where the person said not to buy it unless you hate your neighbors. Which is kind of what I’d thought. Scheana and Kristen tell Lisa how stupid Raquel is. Scheana brings up the money thing, and says she didn’t expect the shower venue to be split only three ways. Katie comes by and everyone gets quiet. In her interview, Scheana says she’s a people pleaser and doesn’t know how much more she can take.
Jax tries to pay the tab and his card is declined, so Brittany pinch hits. In her interview, she says, now make me a sandwich, and I laugh. She’s so cute and personable, I just don’t get what she sees in Jax. The birthday doughnuts are brought out. Lisa asks about Lala, who seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. Lisa is disappointed that she hasn’t even called in to work. Ariana talks about Stassi, saying that she tries to tell people how to live their lives, but she’s not having it.
Lisa asks Katie about her paint samples for the VIP room, and Katie tells her about the fight she and Schwartz had. Schwartz sidles up to the conversation. Lisa tells them it’s time to sort this nonsense out.
Scheana tells Ariana that she’s been feeling lonely lately. Shay isn’t around as much, and doesn’t respond to her texts, blowing her off if he’s working. Welcome to the world where people work when they’re at work. She tells Ariana that she feels like she can’t have anything going on in her own life because everything is about Katie this summer. Ariana says maybe they’re not her real friends. Leaving out the part about when it was Scheana getting married, it’s all we heard about for a year. Not to mention she has a wedding photo the size of my bathroom above her couch. And they’re divorced now.
$8600 has been raised, and Tom says it will help him get through his hangover the next day.
Raquel accompanies James to his new job at the Bradbury Hotel. Max shows up as well. James tells him about the fundraiser, and says he didn’t miss much, except Scheana trying to stir the pot. James says this is his new PUMP. The camera pans around, and it looks pretty empty. He thanks his new boss for the opportunity to play for no one.
Lisa talks to Peter about Lala. She’s annoyed that she’s been supportive, and Lala just isn’t showing up for the job that Lisa gave her when she was on the skids. Scheana tries to talk to Katie about how Katie tends to fight with Schwartz when she’s drunk. Because she can’t stay on a topic that doesn’t involve herself, Scheana moves on to complaining about the price of the shower and getting angry drunk texts from Kristen. In her interview, Katie says she would have hoped the bridesmaids would have worked that out among themselves. Yeah, me too. I don’t need to be Emily Post to know you don’t discuss shower finances with the bride. Scheana says she also got a drunk text from Kristen about Ariana, after which Katie extracts herself from the conversation.
Jax, Brittany, and her mom, Sherri, go out for dinner. Jax tries to prepare them for the birthday roast; he’s hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. They talk about his arrest in Hawaii. In her interview, Brittany says her mother is only there for a short time, so she didn’t want to leave her out, but she’s a tough woman and should be able to take it. Brittany tells a story about secretly having a keg party where her mother almost got arrested for allowing underage drinking. Jax tops that with how he sold report cards when he was in school. Shocking! Jax went to school???!
Tom visits Scheana and Shay so that they can go over material for the roast. Shay looks a lot better since he sobered up. Scheana brings up Katie being meaner, now that she’s friends with Kristen and Stassi again. Scheana asks if Tom thinks drinking is involved, and he says he does. She says any time they bring it up, it’s not worth it, and Shay says when someone gets defensive like that, there’s usually a problem.
Stassi and Katie go to a head shop. They’ve gotten marijuana cards from the doctor for basically bullsh*t; stress or something. Katie talks to Stassi about her conversation with Scheana regarding the bridal shower. Stassi wonders if Scheana was raised by wolves. Katie thinks smoking weed will help with her anger. Instead of Tequila Katie, she could be Toking Katie. I’m guessing Stassi just wants to smoke weed. They buy a bunch of cool edibles.
Kristen and Brittany get together to discuss the roast. Brittany says she’s not a comedienne, so she needs some help. Brittany gets a text from Tom, telling her he’s going to bring up the did she or didn’t she Kristen/Brittany thing. Kristen explains to Brittany’s mother that it was a rumor, but Sherri is not too thrilled and threatens to take Brittany back to Kentucky.
The roast begins! Jax is given a cartoon-like crown (like the one from the old margarine commercials), and Kristen starts the show with a list of crappy things Jax has done. Ariana is introduced next. She mentions that the last time they celebrated his birthday, he got arrested. Katie follows, and then Scheana. We flash back to various Jax stupidities. Shay and Tom give their input, with Shay saying that he’s glad he’s not the fattest of the group anymore. Tom brings up the Kristen/Brittany “rumor,” and Brittany covers Sherri’s ears. Tom gives Jax a portrait in an Andy Warhol comic strip style.
Stassi takes the mic. She reveals some objects and we’re supposed to guess what they have in common. The answer is, Jax you can go f-yourself, but I don’t really understand it. Lisa has sent a video message requesting him not to post public pictures of his genitalia, because she is the only one in the world who calls it that. Brittany and Schwartz round out the roast. Schwartz says if you’re one of Katie’s bridesmaids, there’s a 57% chance Jax has slept with you. He intimates that Jax has also had some men, and in his interview, Jax is concerned about Sherri hearing all of this stuff. None of the jokes are particularly funny, but I think this is something where “you had to be there.” It’s not like he’s Frank Sinatra or even Pauly Shore.
I’m hungry, but I can’t think of anything I really want. I think that means I’m not really hungry.
Afterwards, Kristen tells Tom she’s not too happy with him. He uses the excuse that it’s a roast, and tells her not to be so mad. Jax tries to smooth things over with Sherri, who would like him to explain what the remark about sleeping with men was all about. He tells her that he once had a gay roommate, who was also his best friend, and that’s where they’re getting it from. In his interview, he says out of all the heinous things he’s done, Sherri has to focus on him maybe kissing a guy. In a rare moment, I agree with Jax.
Next time, a paint color is finally chosen for the VIP room, Sherri discusses the roast with Jax, and James gets in a fight at his new job. They showed that in last week’s preview too, so I’m hoping it’s not just another tease.
✍ Because there was no Friday post…
Quotes of Last Week
Sometimes it’s necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly. – Edward Albee, The Zoo Story
In The Name of Diversity, You Must Conform! – MRCtv
Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use. – Emily Post