January 31, 2017 – Tom’s Murder is a Wrap, Candace Beats a Rap, More Partying in Beverly Hills & a Little London


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)


General Hospital

Jason wants to leave the hospital, but Sam says that’s not okay, and asks why he didn’t tell her he was in the hospital.

Sonny tells Ava that she brought Avery home late. She says she was just about to thank him for letting her tuck Avery in. He says there are other ways to show gratitude, like answering some questions.

Valentin and Nina are hanging out at a gazebo. He tells Nina it’s good to get away from everything, and she asks if that includes Anna.

Laura and Lulu visit Anna, whose house we don’t see enough of. They want to talk to her about Valentin.

Forensics supports Alexis’s statement. Dante tells her she’s free to go. When he leaves, Diane tells her to take a deep breath, and she can go to the bar review with a clear conscience.

Julian comes to the station because Dante wants to talk to him.

Franco remembers where he’s seen the trophies, and says Elizabeth is in trouble. A nurse comes in, and he says he has to talk to the police now.

Seth won’t let Elizabeth leave. He doesn’t want her showing the scrapbook to the police until she knows the truth. Is this dude a new character or is he disposable? I want to know before I invest anything.

Valentin says he didn’t tell Nina that the picture he lost was of Anna. He wanted to leave the past in the past. He explains that they were cadets at the WSB together. Nina asks if he was a spy.

Anna tells Lulu and Laura that she’s given all of the information she has to the police. Laura says she thought the investigation was ongoing, and Lulu asks if she’s found anything new that can help her get custody of Charlotte.

Sam tells Jason that he has lousy judgment when it comes to his own health, and she’ll make those decisions. He tells her that Julian drugged him.

Julian tells Dante that if Franco was kidnapped, he wasn’t involved. Dante laughs, and says he had nothing to do with the deaths of Duke and Carrrlos, and didn’t hold a knife to Alexis’s throat either .

Franco asks the nurse to get Nathan. He says it’s about a case and it’s important. When she leaves, he struggles to extract himself from all the IVs. An intern comes in telling him he needs an MRI. He asks if that means they take the IVs out.

Seth tells Elizabeth that his name is going to be dragged through the mud like Tom’s, and what about his mother? She says he’s not responsible for Tom’s crimes, and there might be something in the book that could be a clue. Seth says he’d believed Tom had cleaned up his act, but he was as sick as ever. When he saw Tom attacking a woman, he knew Tom was never going to stop. Elizabeth is like, whaaat?

Sonny asks Ava how business is with the Jerome organization. She says she’s now a legit art dealer. He says she still hears things, and someone is coming after the Jeromes. She says she thought it was him. She tells Sonny that if someone is putting pressure on the Jerome organization, she doesn’t know who it is.

Jason explains to Sam that Julian wanted him incapacitated for a few hours, and tells her what happened. He says Julian seems genuinely afraid, not just for himself, but for her and Danny.

Julian sees Alexis. Diane says her client has nothing to say. He asks if she confessed, and Diane asks why he cares.

Laura wonders if there’s anything they can use against Valentin in court. Lulu says it doesn’t necessarily have to be something illegal, just something to show he’s an unfit parent. Anna says she has nothing that would have any bearing on the case. She found out that they knew each other years ago.

Valentin tells Nina sorry to disappoint her, but he wasn’t a spy; he was a desk agent. He says they didn’t think he’d be that effective in the field. She says he’s the most capable man she’s ever known, and he says he was different back then.

Seth tells Elizabeth that the woman was almost too drunk to stand, and Tom had a knife. Elizabeth says Seth defended her, but he says she got the knife, dropped it, and ran. He tells Elizabeth that he saw Tom clearly for the first time, as a predator who would keep hunting until he was stopped. He picked up the knife and stabbed Tom until he was dead. Elizabeth says that he was defending all the women Tom ever attacked or would have, and can’t be blamed. He doesn’t deserve to be prosecuted. Seth says he will be, for what he did to Franco.

The intern parks Franco’s wheelchair by the elevator and goes to do an intern thing. Franco gets up and walks out. The nurse tells Nathan that Franco needs to speak with him. The intern is looking for his patient, and when Nathan asks who the patient is, he says Franco.

Valentin tells Nina about having severe scoliosis when he was younger. She says she knew a girl at school who had it and wore a brace. He says he went untreated and became a hunchback. Richard III (he heard me!), Igor, Quasimodo, and him.

Anna tells Laura and Lulu that Valentin was going under another name, but it could have been a legal name change, which wouldn’t help a custody case. Laura asks when she realized she knew him. Anna says there was something in his eyes, but he looked very different back then.

Jason tells Sam that he wants her and Danny to go to a safe house. She thinks that’s extreme, and he says there’s a woman out there who blew up car and nearly killed him and Curtis. Sam wants to stick around until the baby is born, but Jason says they’re vulnerable if they stay in Port Charles. She asks if he’d come too, and he says he has to finish it. He wants Sonny exonerated and them to be safe. Sam says the boss lady could be watching him. Jason suggests making her think he’s given up.

Diane tells Julian that there’s nothing to confess, and tells Alexis not to let this weasel distract her. Alexis wants to talk to Julian for a moment and Diane goes ahead. Alexis tells Julian that she recounted the whole story and realized she never did it. She dropped the knife and ran. Julian says he’s relieved, and asks if she is. She says she’s going to tell Dante everything.

Elizabeth asks Seth what he did to Franco. Seth says this isn’t who he is. Aarrgh! I hate when people say that. It is you; you’re the one who did it. He tells Elizabeth that he’s sorry. He beat Franco senseless and left him in a storage locker, letting the police believe he was the killer. He says his life is over, and Tom destroyed him like he did Elizabeth. Elizabeth says that Tom hurt her, but she survived. She says she has a life for herself and three beautiful sons who need her. She says that Seth doesn’t have to be damaged by Tom, just let her call the police.

Too late. Franco comes in swinging. Elizabeth tells Franco to stop, saying that Seth isn’t even fighting back. Franco asks what Seth was going to do. Seth says he doesn’t know, but he’s not like Tom; he doesn’t get off on hurting women. He confesses that he killed his brother, but can’t say for certain whether he would have come back for Franco. Franco puts his hands around Seth’s neck, and Seth tells Franco to kill him because he deserves it.

Dante gets the hospital records regarding Tom’s employment. Nathan finds Seth’s address, and Dante says they should check it out.

Sonny asks Ava about internal politics, and if anyone died unexpectedly, giving someone else a promotion. Ava can only come up with peons, and says that she and Julian are the last of their generation. All their siblings are dead.

Alexis tells Julian she’s going to confess to the hit and run, but Julian says he’ll claim he remembers who hit him and say it wasn’t her. She asks if he’s still looking for leverage. He says she deserves to be a lawyer again, but she’s not so sure she’s ready.

Jason tells Sam that they have to make sure everyone is in the right place at the right time. Felix comes by (good to see him!) and Sam asks when her dad has physical therapy. Felix says confidentiality rules dictate that he can’t tell her, but gives her details as to where the schedule is.

Laura asks what Anna remembers, but Anna says it was a relatively brief acquaintance. They wonder what happened that Valentin left the WSB. Anna says he was a decent guy back then. Their courses overlapped and they would help each other. She’d regarded him as a friend.

Nina tells Valentin not to call himself a hunchback. He says why, because it’s not politically correct? and I laugh. He explains what he looked like, and tells Nina about how the disease affected his entire body, causing his arm to contract as well. He says there was pity, revulsion, and bullying, but it fueled his anger, and he learned to resolve conflicts with strategy. He went to the library to get away from everyone looking at him, but never really seeing him. He tells Nina that the disease would have eventually affected his heart, but then there was Anna, who changed everything.

Nina asks if Anna encouraged him to get treatment. He says it’s more than just treatment, it’s a painful, dangerous surgery. He tells Nina that Anna inspired him. They helped each other with their schoolwork and they were friends, but when he tried to kiss her, she was disgusted. She didn’t say it in those words, but he knew. Nina says she’s glad he got the surgeries, because it made him tall and strong, and he deserves to be those things. She says she’s known beautiful, gorgeous people who are hideous inside, including Anna, because she can’t see him the way Nina does. Valentin looks for pity and disgust in her eyes, but she says he’ll never find them; he’ll only find how much he means to her. Tears roll down his face as he thanks her, and she thanks him for telling her. They kiss. He suggests they go home, but she says there’s an errand she has to run first.

Anna tells Lulu and Laura that there was a goodness in Valentin when she knew him at the academy, and she sees it when he interacts with Charlotte. She wonders if Lulu can meet him halfway, but Lulu balks at shared custody. Laura says it will give her bonding time while they build their case. Lulu suddenly remembers something she has to do. She thanks Anna, and practically runs out the door.

Laura tells Anna that she has the feeling there’s something Anna isn’t telling her about her time with Valentin. Anna says Valentin is obsessed with something he wants her to pay for, but she doesn’t know what it is. Laura says he’s evil and dangerous, and if he hurts Lulu, she’ll kill him. Now tell us how you really feel.

Alexis tells Julian that she’s been preparing for months, and knows what to say to get her license back, but she doesn’t know how to not stop at a liquor store on the way home. Julian says he supports her, and not because he wants back in her life, but he cares about her, if only as her friend. Diane comes back in and tells Alexis, let’s go.

Sam comes back to Jason’s room. She says Julian has an appointment in a half hour. Jason takes out his phone.

Sonny’s phone rings. He tells Ava so long.

Elizabeth begs Franco not to kill Seth. He lets go. He tells Elizabeth that he thought he had a gift of entitlement that allowed him to decide who lives and dies, but he doesn’t want to be that guy because of her. Nathan, Dante, and a random officer bust in. France says good thing they’re here, and they found the right guy

On the phone, Jason asks if there’s any way they can come to the hospital. He could use a visit from an old friend. I’m assuming he’s talking to Sonny.

Alexis tells Diane that she doesn’t want her license back yet. She needs to wait until she’s ready, and she’s not there. She wants to tell the committee, but Diane says she’ll tell them that Alexis is writing a novel. Julian offers to drive Alexis back, but Alexis says no. He tells her that he’s proud of her. Like she cares.

Anna has a headache. She finds Valentin’s WSB records in her inbox. The doorbell rings. I’ll bet I know who it is. It’s Nina, who walks right in, breezing past Anna. She asks what Anna wants with her husband.

Lulu meets Valentin at The Floating Rib. She says they need to talk about their daughter.

Seth is read his rights. Dante asks Elizabeth and Franco to come to the station, but Elizabeth says Franco needs to go back to the hospital. Franco asks if he has to go, and Elizabeth says yes. He needs medical care and she knows an excellent nurse. They kiss.

Tomorrow, Nina asks Anna why she’s obsessed with Valentin, Michael confronts Nell about who she’s seeing, and Lulu wants to come to an agreement with Valentin.

The Haves and the Have Nots

The police dig up Quincy’s body.

Candace and Jeffrey wait for Veronica at the hotel bar. Candace tells Jeffrey she has to see her brother, but Jeffrey insists his mother is coming. Candace thinks someone should shoot Veronica and put them all out of their misery. Jeffrey tells her to calm down. He says she wants him, not Candace, and he’s going to give it to her. Candace says the more he gives, the more she’ll want, adding that she ought to know, as someone who’s blackmailed people. Jeffrey says he’ll marry Melissa if he has to. It doesn’t mean that it has to be a real marriage. Candace thinks he’s out of his mind.

Justin calls Jeffrey pretending he’s calling another cop, and tells him they’ve found a body. They make plans to meet. Jeffrey tells Candace that they found Quincy. I can’t imagine Quincy doesn’t have a million enemies, although burying him the backyard was a poorly thought out idea. Candace wants to jet, but Jeffrey stops her. She says his mother is behind this, and she’s leaving.

Too late. Veronica comes in with a vase of flowers. She goes to the hotel desk and makes up a story about a guy named David leaving them in a taxi, and how they were supposed to be delivered to an Erica. She has no last name, and asks the desk clerk if she can help. The clerk says she’ll check later, but Veronica is insistent, saying that the driver was very upset about it. The clerk calls Erica’s room and tells her there are flowers from a David Harrington. Erica says she’ll come down and get them. Why? is a good question. Wouldn’t you have them bring the flowers up? Veronica thanks the clerk, and goes to meet Jeffrey and Candace.

Veronica makes Candace switch chairs because she wants to face the door. Candace asks what Veronica wants. Veronica says she doesn’t want to be there as much as Candace doesn’t, and makes fun of her pocketbook being a knockoff. She says she’s there to help for Jeffrey’s sake. She wants to know everything about what they did with Quincy. Candace says they didn’t do anything, but Jeffrey tells her that they stabbed him. He doesn’t remember how many times exactly, but goes with over 50 and less than 100. Candace says she’s not doing this, but Veronica tells her to sit back down. She says that over 50 will definitely get them sentenced. Candace says she went to law school, but Veronica says you actually have to read the books, not use them for knee pads. Whoa.

Veronica asks where Quincy was stabbed. Jeffrey says in the back, but he stabbed more than Candace, mentioning that Quincy had beat him, and Veronica says she knows. She says that kind of overkill is only found in rare cases. She wants to know where Candace got the money for the house, and Candace tells her from text book sales. BA-DUM-CHH! She’s not giving Veronica ammunition, but Jeffrey says they’re in this together. Candace says Veronica wants something from Jeffrey, but wonders what she wants from her. Veronica says she’ll figure that out when she knows what she’s dealing with.

Jeffrey says that Jim bought the house. Candace says she got it from Jim, but through banker Lloyd. Veronica says she must have blackmailed Jim again, and wants to know what it was. She says she knows everything about him, but not enough for him to buy her a house. She calls Candace stupid, paying cash for a house when she has no income, but says she likes her. She wants to know what the police will find, and Jeffrey says they buried the body in the backyard. Veronica calls them two geniuses and laughs. Candace says it’s not funny, but Veronica says it is to her. She asks them both to give her a dollar to hire her. She also wants the keys to the house. Candace says the police are already searching, but Veronica says she’s taking possession of the property. Candace thinks they probably changed the locks since the bank foreclosed.

Candace explains about the mortgage and forging the income verification. Veronica nearly falls out of her chair laughing. She tells Candace that Lloyd is in the Cryer’s pocket, and she was hoodwinked. Candace tells Jeffrey that Veronica isn’t going to help them. Veronica says the foreclosure just saved her life, and asks when it happened, before or after they found the body. The light bulb comes on, and Candace asks if she’s sure. Veronica says 100%. She tells Candace to explain it to Jeffrey and leaves.

Candace tells Jeffrey that the search warrant isn’t valid. Whatever they found after the bank took possession is inadmissible. They can’t be charged. Jeffrey asks what that means, and she says it means that bitch is brilliant.

Jim tells Kathryn he did her a favor, and that she’s the one who killed Jennifer. Kathryn says Veronica did it, and he wonders how she got their gun out of their safe. Kathryn says she asked to borrow it, and thought that David was having an affair with Jennifer. He wants to know how she got Jennifer to come over to the house, but Kathryn says she doesn’t know. Jim continues to interrogate her. He says if she gets Kathryn on the stand, she’ll be torn apart. As she answers his questions, he finds fault in each of the answers, and explains why they’re wrong. He says there’s science involved; it’s not guesswork. He asks her what happened, and she says she shot the bitch. He says Jennifer was the DA, a federal officer, and they’re going to be looking for her. Kathryn says she was pushed by him, Jennifer and Veronica. She goes over the list of things she’s told him to do and how he screwed them up. He asks if she feels better.

Jim asks who knew Jennifer was there. Kathryn says just them, and he asks if she’s insane. She says yes, and how about if she shoots him, and says it was a suicide pact between him and Jennifer? She tells him that Jennifer got between her and her only living child. He says he’ll handle it, and she says he’d better. And he’d better get the rugs cleaned. After that, she wants him out.

There’s a knock at Wyatt’s door. Dealer Pete comes in and Wyatt apologizes. Pete says he heard Wyatt overdid it, but it’s cool. They talk about the apartment. Wyatt says it’s great, and Pete asks why he called. Wyatt says he wants some blow, and Pete reminds him that he almost died. Pete says he almost OD’d, and he doesn’t want to be set up for murder. He’s not selling Wyatt any more drugs and suggests he get help. Wyatt says he doesn’t need Pete. Pete says he’s doing Wyatt a favor. Wyatt tells him to get out, shoving him out the door.

Hanna tries to get Benny to eat. She tells Quincy Jr. that they have to register him for school tomorrow, and he’s not too thrilled. She gives him something to read. Benny pushes the food away, saying he’s not hungry. Hanna puts it in the refrigerator like Joan Crawford. She tells Benny she’s looking for a job in the morning, and he might want to do the same. She knows he wants to own his own business, but he needs to save up some money and get another tow yard. He says it’s not easy, and she says no one said it would be.

Benny’s phone rings and it’s Mitch. He tells Benny to find Candace and keep her safe. He says War knows he did it, and he’s coming for Candace. Benny thinks they have time, but Mitch says War got out. He says they’ll catch up when he gets out, and Benny says they’re at the Fountain Drive Hotel.

Benny tells Hanna that Candace is in trouble. War is after her. Hanna asks what he wants with her, and Benny says he thinks she crossed him. Hanna says she practically raised War and he isn’t like that. Benny tells her that War threatened to kill Candace, and Hanna doesn’t realize how dangerous he is. He wants the keys so he can find Candace before War does. Hanna says she doesn’t know where the keys are at, and Quincy Jr. says he was playing with them. She tells him keys are not toys. Hanna is full of cliché remarks tonight. Benny takes the keys and goes.

Quita is sitting on the stoop, and sees a car going back and forth. It’s Wyatt. He says he’s lost and looking for some blow. The guy with Quita asks if he has money, and says he can get him some. Another guy stands on the driver’s side, and the first one pulls out a gun. Wyatt says he just needs a fix. Quita remarks what a nice car it is, and first dude adds that he has money too. Quita says he had money. She asks if that’s all Wyatt has, and he says yes. She says, let’s go where you live and see what you got. The other guy recognizes him as Jim’s son. Quita says they need someone to take him, and he asks them to let him go. Quita gets in the car with the gun and tells him to drive. This just seems stupid.

The clean-up detail is at the Cryer’s house. As soon as they’re done, Jim asks David where Jennifer is, and he says with Mama Rose. He says they’re getting in deep, and this is a big one. Jim says that David and Jennifer were…close. He says it’s all going to come back and visit them, but he’s hoping by then they’ll be really old or really dead. David says they’re going to take the body back to Jennifer’s house and set it on fire. One of the men Jennifer convicted is going to be very unlucky, and will be accused of the crime. He doesn’t like it, but Jim says it’s too late for that. David feels like they keep getting in deeper and deeper. Jim tells him Veronica didn’t do it; Kathryn did. David asks if he’s sure, and Jim says she told him herself, but no matter who did it, they’re in this together. He says they have to keep their heads on straight, and he’s concerned about Veronica. David says she won’t destroy herself. Jim asks about her mental state. David says beyond the delusional paranoia he deals with every day, they’ll have to wait and see. Jim wants David to talk to her, but he says he’s done. Jim says he’ll talk to her then. David says as loyal as he was when he was with Veronica, he’s even more loyal to his commitment to be without her. Jim wonders what it is with these women.

When he gets in the car, David’s phone ring. It’s Erica. He says he’s been busy, but it’s nice to hear a kind voice. She thanks him for the flowers, but he says he didn’t send any. She says they have his name on the card, and he tells her to throw them out, adding to put them outside immediately. While we think for a moment that there must be a bomb or something in them, when Erica opens the door, Veronica is standing there.

Next time, Veronica confronts Erica, Quita kidnaps Wyatt in his own house, and Benny tells Candace that War is looking for her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

We flash back to the various white parties that Kyle has had. This year, she’s throwing everyone a curveball by having a Great Gatsby party instead. She has gigantic lamps with shades out on the patio that I love. The party planner explains what absinthe is to her, and she’s not too sure she wants to go that far in authenticity when she finds out it can cause hallucinations.

LisaV is on vacation. Even though Kyle is insistent that she be at the party, she doesn’t want to come back. She says she’s in France, but Kyle doesn’t buy it. In her interview, Kyle says she’ll be there, since she loves to make an entrance.

LisaR and Harry are making pies. She’s not sure if they have flour or a rolling pin, and Harry dubs it a disaster. Her cook digs a rolling pin out from somewhere, and manages to extract some flour. In her interview, Lisa says she’s a stranger in her own kitchen. She talks about Harry and Cindy Crawford having a pie bake-off, and finally calling it a draw. Celebrities, they’re just like us!

They’re preparing for the barbecue, and we flash back to Kyle’s idea of a barbecue, which wasn’t very close to an actual barbecue. Eden is all otherworldly looking, and brings them a “love bottle” as a gift. Dorit arrives, dressed down with her hair down. Kyle points out that they do have crystal on the table and bartenders, so it isn’t totally down home. They look across the valley – it’s a fabulous view – where LisaV lives, and Kyle asks if LisaR has binoculars.

LisaR introduces everyone. Her girls are star struck over Erika. Dorit talks to Eden about her annoyance at Kyle, and Eden says she got over it by doing a hundred Pilates classes. Eden thinks that Kim’s behavior at PK’s birthday party was closed off, but Dorit doesn’t want to be talking behind anyone’s back. She suggests that Eden talk to Kyle. In her interview, Dorit says she’s learned her lesson after Pantygate. Eden says she doesn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

Eileen arrives and LisaR startles me by screeching her name. Oh good, Camille is here, but Dorit has to leave. That was fast. Apparently, Kim wasn’t invited. Eileen was glad to have a normal conversation with her the last time they met. She says she hates “icky energy,” which opens the door to Eden speaking her mind. She tells Kyle that Kim wasn’t very nice to her at PK’s party. In her interview, Kyle says Eden is like Groundhog Day. Eden says it wasn’t anything in particular, but Kim was abrasive and kind of rude. In her interview, LisaR is a peeved that Eden is having this conversation in the middle of her party. I would be too. Dog Lulu makes a poopy, which breaks the tension. I don’t ever want to agree with Kim about anything, but I’m thinking I’d want Eden to get off my back too. At one point, Eden talks about Kim’s coldness toward her as red flag behavior, but Kim doesn’t know Eden. Just because she’s sober too, doesn’t mean Kim has to be her best friend.

Kyle asks why it keeps getting brought up, and suggests Eden is inserting herself where she doesn’t belong. In her interview, Erika says that Eden should be more chill. She tells Eden that she shouldn’t have expectations of anyone. Eileen feels uncomfortable talking about Kim. Everyone disappears, leaving Kyle and Eden alone. Kyle says they all need support systems, and at another time they might be friends. She asks if Eden is coming in for a long awkward hug, and she is. Kyle demonstrates the hug in her interview with one of her dogs.

The food looks wonderful! Erika says she is not disappointed. Kyle wonders if she’ll fit in her Gatsby outfit now. The blueberry pie comes out. Erika wonders what Harry can’t do. #WhatDidHarryDo

The next morning, Dorit’s new trainer comes to the house. Dorit wants a toned body, but doesn’t want to work for it. Don’t we all. After the session, she suggests a cocktail.

Erika goes to the CBS studio for her The Young and the Restless audition. She’s a nervous wreck. They’re going to tape it and give it to the writers to create something for her. In her interview, she said the last time she did acting, she was a kid, and we flash back to a teenage dweeby Erika in a scene from some movie I’ve never heard of. In her interview, Eileen says the best thing an actor can do is listen. Truth! The director gives Erika some tips, and she’s good at following direction. She tells them how nervous she is, but you’d never know it.

Kyle chooses jewelry to go with her Gatsby costume. In her interview, she says she views the 20s as all money and glamour. Tell that to the people who stood in soup lines. Eileen wears a dress swiped from Days of Our Lives. Dorit, who stops by to pick up Kyle, is wearing an amazing turquoise faux fur wrap. On the way there, Dorit tells them that Eden called Kyle an enabler. This gets Mauricio’s hackles up, which we don’t see too often.

Erika’s character is gangster moll, and she looks like Jean Harlow. Kyle has everyone pose by an antique car and they take pictures. They’re all wearing wigs so it’s hard to recognize everyone. In her interview, Kyle says she’d like to get to know Eden, but asks if every meeting has to be a therapy session. She thinks she should start charging.

There’s a problem with the heaters. Kyle isn’t happy about a couple of other things, and is a little stressed. Eden interrupts her conversation with Kim, saying that she gets emotional seeing the two of them together, since it reminds her of her and her sister. In her interview, Kyle says she just told Eden to get her nose out of their business, and now it’s way up in there. Kyle tells Eden that she’s not an enabler. In her interview, Eden says that in smoothing things over, Kyle enables Kim. Kyle basically tells her to back off.

LisaR is curious, but rejects Eileen’s suggestion to eavesdrop. Kim says that Eden seems to be looking for trouble, and she doesn’t need that. In her interview, I think Eden is reading way more into this than she needs to, and is projecting like crazy. They talk about Eden saying that Kim attacked LisaR. Kim says the word attack is the wrong choice, and Eden just kind of jumped in there. In her interview, Kim says negative choices bring negative consequences. Eden tries to act like everyone else is talking about it, but she really means LisaR. Part of Eden’s problem is that she thinks one size fits all.

Guess who’s here? She Who Can Do No Wrong. In a gorgeous white antique car. LisaV says she couldn’t let Kyle down because friends support one another. PK talks to Erika about warming up to his wife, and she admits to being a cold fish. She calls herself the c-word, and LisaV nearly chokes.

Eileen and LisaR dance the Charleston. Kim has to leave for a date. Camille says it’s the happiest she’s seen her and she’s in a great place. They talk about how Kim is friends with Brandi now, and we flash back to when Brandi accused her of doing crystal meth in the bathroom. In her interview, Kim says she doesn’t think she’ll ever be friends with Eden.

Port-a-potty hijinks! Eileen tells Kim that everyone is in her corner. In her interview, Kim says that Eileen should call a spade a spade, and sometimes keep her mouth shut. I don’t even have anything to add to that.

Eden tells LisaV that she’s trying to snap out of it. She thinks that Kim got offended, and Kyle backed that up. Lisa says Kyle isn’t an enabler, and she doesn’t think it’s Eden’s business. She tells Eden that they didn’t get off on the wrong foot, and she’s happy about that, but her other foot will kick Eden in the ass if she messes with her friend Kyle. Enough said. I’ll bet Eden crapped her pants.

Next time, a trip to Mexico, LisaR’s daughter does the runway with Gigi Hadid, and LisaV tells Kyle what Eden said.

🗺  Ladies of London mention. Juliet is of Polish descent (her parents moved to the US when she was born), and we got to see some of her roots. Polish is also her first language, and she didn’t learn English until she went to school. This was interesting for me, since I’m Lithuanian – not the same, but close. When I was growing up, we frequently listened to Polish radio stations, and I’m sure kept some of the same traditions. The polka, anyone? Another highlight was Caroline #2’s Midsummer’s Eve celebration. I love Caroline #2 – I’m convinced she’s a fairy princess under a curse where she has to live among mortals. But even though she’s ethereal, she’s tough. She was like, I broke some bamboo and now I’m building a Maypole. Caroline #1 called it a “ridiculous spectacle,” and told us she hates flowers and ribbons, which should be no surprise to anyone. The next episode should be good, when a farewell dinner is given for Caroline #1, and Adela calls Julie a poisonous leper in polyester. It’s also the season finale.


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