What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Nelle copies the audio file of Sonny onto a flash drive, and puts it into an envelope to Carly. She says, game on, Sonny.
Sonny buys Jason breakfast at the MetroCourt. Carly waits on them, telling Sonny not to plan anything for tomorrow, because she has a surprise. He doesn’t like surprises, but she says they have a lot to be grateful for, and she wants the two of them to celebrate. After she leaves, Sonny asks Jason if Ava didn’t plant the bomb, who did?
Alexis’s doorbell rings. I have to stop watching so much TV because I somehow get this mixed up with Daryl visiting Carol on The Walking Dead for a moment. It’s Sam. She talks about Kristina abandoning Alexis, but Alexis doesn’t blame her. Sam says she’ll keep trying to talk to her. She tells Alexis about Ava’s arrest, and says that for once, she doesn’t think Ava did it. Sam sees the bouquet, and Alexis tells her it’s from Julian.
Olivia-J hopes Julian wasn’t followed this time. She asks if there’s hospital news. He says by this time tomorrow, the hospital will be hers.
Hayden helps crunch the Quartermaine numbers. She says their offer isn’t as high as the realtor’s offer. Michael says Jason could kick in more, but Tracy doesn’t want anyone looking into where he gets his money. Ned says he’ll sell Lois his half of the record business.
Finn has a never-ending bottle of pills where there’s always just one left .He takes it, and looks at the newspaper headline about Ava. Griff asks if he’s been there all night, and Finn says someone had to take care of the patients. He also wanted to rush Anna’s biopsy.
Anna calls for a nurse, and an orderly tells her they’re all out sick. She asks about her biopsy, and he says he’ll see when he can do. She says she’d like to see a doctor, and Robin pops in, asking if she’ll do.
Commercial break. Like the Clapper and Chia Pet heralding in the Christmas season, Eastertime is officially here since the Cadbury bunny tryouts are happening.
Sam says she guesses Alexis didn’t slam the door in Julian’s face. She says Alexis is vulnerable, and asks her to please not let Julian manipulate her.
Julian reaches into his coat, and Olivia-J pulls a gun. Julian pulls out some champagne, and Olivia asks if he’s being presumptuous. He says tomorrow the Quartermaines lose.
Ned says he could hear Lila’s voice telling him about all the people he could be helping. Tracy asks since when is his life in Port Charles, and he says it’s time to set down roots again. He asks if she has Lila’s engagement ring. He wants to ask Olivia-F to marry him.
Nelle sticks the envelope into the mail cart at the MetroCourt.
Carly thanks Jason for talking Sonny down. She says she couldn’t have convinced him; she would have encouraged him. Jason says he doesn’t think Ava is behind the bomb, and he doesn’t want anyone doing what they can’t take back. Carly hugs him, and says what a great friend he is. Nelle watches.
Finn calls Sonny. He says he needs a favor. Sonny says it’s a bad time, and to call him next week. Finn says he doesn’t have until next week.
Anna says it’s good to see Robin, and Robin says it’s good to be seen. She tells Anna that Griff called her. Anna says obviously the test is a big deal. Robin says she had a clear schedule and thought they could spend time together. Anna says she saw the look on Finn’s face, and now this. Something must be seriously wrong.
The orderly gives the results to Griff. His face doesn’t look happy. He says, oh no, which confirms his unhappiness.
Finn tells Sonny that the medication would be helpful to some of his patients. Sonny says he has eyes on him right now, but he’ll call around for a favor. He says it will take a few days, and Finn says he’ll figure something out. Hayden tells Finn he looks better, and asks if he’s going to the meeting with the pharmaceutical company. He says he can’t go to Manhattan today, since they’re short staffed. Hayden suggests that the profits from the patent could be donated to the hospital, and he likes the idea. He tells her that if he was rude, it was just because he was just tired. She asks if he’s sure, and that she thought he was going to tell her something important. Their conversation is interrupted by Griff with the biopsy results.
Robin tells Anna that a blood biopsy isn’t an everyday procedure. Anna tells her about it, and how the scraping against the bone was weird, almost as if she could hear it from inside. Robin says she’s sorry she wasn’t there, but it saves lives, so Anna did the right thing.
Michael thanks Olivia-F for pitching in at the family meeting. She says it was really none of her business. He says if Ned hadn’t sold L&B, they would have lost. Olivia is surprised that he let go of the business.
Tracy tells Ned no way is he getting Lila’s ring. She said it cost more than most people’s homes at the time her father bought it. Ned says he thought she liked Olivia-F. Tracy says that Olivia has two illegitimate sons from two different mobsters, and is not daughter-in-law material. Ned says that Tracy is one to talk, and he’s going to marry her. Tracy calls her uncouth and uncaring, and Ned says he looks at it as genuine, spirited, and sincere. He says he’s not losing her again.
Nelle finds Carly, who says she has a task outside of Nelle’s job description. She tells Nelle about the cabin that she and Sonny used to go to, and how she’s renting it again. She asks Nelle to make it special. She says they’re trying to move forward, and they could use some time alone. Nelle says things always work out for her. Carly is resilient and resourceful, and she admires that.
Alexis tells Sam that she’ll never be vulnerable to Julian again. Sam asks if he knows that. Alexis says she thinks he was saying good-by.
Olivia-J asks why Julian is breaking out champagne. He says he’s celebrating his freedom. She says she’ll have him killed if she doesn’t get the hospital, and if he’s drinking to his eminent demise. He says she can either raise a glass or kill him.
Alexis tells Sam about the safe deposit box. Sam wonders if Julian is leaving, and Alexis says she doesn’t know, but there’s an explanation letter in the box. Sam thinks it’s a poorly manufactured lie, but Alexis says, what if it isn’t?
Julian tells her to get it over with, and Olivia-J says don’t waste the bottle. He puts something from a metal capsule into her drink. I might add that he does it pretty loudly. They could hear the unscrewing of the capsule at the hospital. He toasts to GH’s demolition.
Sonny tells Jason about Carly wanting to kill Ava, and that they agreed on doing nothing until they know for sure. Jason says Carly might think she wants revenge, but she doesn’t want to wreck lives. He hopes whatever they decide, they can move forward. Sonny says it’s not an option anymore. He tells Jason that something is going on with Nelle. She wants Carly to find out that they slept together.
Michael tells Nelle about losing his investment, and asks if she’d like to go to brunch and talk. Nelle tells him that she has to set up the cabin. Michael says he’ll give her a ride. He’s going to be busy for a while, and they might not have a chance to hang out later.
Robin tells Anna it’s okay to be scared. Anna says WSB agents don’t get scared. Robin says not in public, but it’s just her. Finn and Griff come in. Finn says he was hoping for better results, and the biopsy indicates she has Polycythemia Vera (PV). Griff explains that it means she has cancer.
Tracy relents about the ring, saying that Lila would want it to be worn and not kept in a dusty vault. She apologizes, and Ned asks what the objection is. Tracy says she doesn’t really have one, and that Olivia-F is ballsy and outgoing. She says when she got sick, she changed perspective on a lot of things and selfishly wants to keep him close. When he talks about marriage, the next step is getting their own home. He says it’s a big house, and there’s room for all of them, at least for now. He asks for her blessing, and she says of course. They hug, and we see Lila’s picture behind them, causing me to tear up.
Sam tells Alexis that what Julian wrote could hold the answers they need.
Olivia-J bumps into Julian and he drops his glass. She says how clumsy of her, and explains that being Alexis’s sponsor, it wouldn’t be good to have champagne on her breath. She encourages him to take her glass. He says it was a stupid idea, and she says he tried to poison her.
Anna says she never heard of a blood clot causing cancer. Finn says that cancer is a technical term, and her condition was once classified as blood disorder, but now is considered blood cancer. Griff says she’s in the age range where it’s commonly diagnosed, and the blood clot was a symptom. Finn tells her that the cancer causes thickening of the blood, and if left untreated, could result in a heart attack or stroke. It’s what’s been responsible for her migraines. Anna asks if she needs chemo. Finn says no, they’ll give her blood thinner and do phlebotomies, which Robin says is like donating blood on regular basis. Anna says it sounds like they’re just treating the symptoms, and asks how they beat it. Griff tells her that there’s no cure.
Michael and Nelle get to the cabin, and the caretaker gives them the keys, calling them lovebirds. Nelle is like, not too awkward. Michael tells her that they used to come up here all the time, and she says he must have wonderful memories of the place.
Sonny tells Jason about finding the bra, and that Nelle planted it. He says no way was her bra in the bed for two months. Jason wonders why, and asks if Nelle is interested in him. He says he doesn’t care, but she’s becoming a problem. Jason says the only way out is to take away her power and tell Carly.
Finn tells Anna that it’s a chronic condition, and Griff says it’s manageable. She asks if she’ll have to deal with bloodletting the rest of her life. Robin asks to talk to her in private. Anna says she’s sorry for being insensitive. Robin says she’s angry and sad, and just because it’s manageable doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. When she’s done venting, they have work to do, and she has to be strong. Anna doesn’t feel strong, and Robin says she’ll be strong for both of them.
Finn tells Griff that he didn’t tell her everything. Griff says to let her deal with the shock. He thanks Finn for letting him be there. Finn joins Tracy and Hayden. Hayden asks about the meeting again, and he says that he doesn’t have time. Tracy says the jet is at his disposal, and he says maybe he’ll take her up on it.
Olivia-F comes into the Quartermaine drawing room to find Ned looking at Lila’s engagement ring. He says he was going to do this at dinner, but why wait? He asks her to marry him.
Commercial break. Finola Hughes does a PSA for PV. You can get more information at VoicesOfMPN.com.
Anna says Robin can’t be by her side forever. Robin says being HIV positive has taught her one thing – not to think about 50 years from now, but about today and tomorrow. Anna will need someone to run errands and translate medical terms. Anna says it’s not necessary; she’ll be all right. Robin says everyone needs help sometimes, even her. Right now, her place is here. They hug. Anna tells Robin she loves her.
Hayden says that she’s proud of Finn, and they’ll talk later.
Olivia-F tells Ned that she can’t. He says he understands no, but what does “I can’t” mean? She runs out.
Nelle has changed the sheets, and the fridge is stocked. She tells Michael that no matter what happens, his friendship has meant the world to her. He says he feels the same way, and wonders if she’s skipping town, but she says she’s just expressing her feelings. They start to leave, but the caretaker comes back, telling them that the roads are closed and they’re not going anywhere.
Sonny tells Carly they need to talk. She says they can talk tomorrow. They need a break away from everything, a break from the questions about Ava and the pain of Morgan. Sonny says okay, and they hug. The mail cart goes forward.
Olivia-J tells Julian to empty his pockets. He gives her the capsule. She sniffs it and says, oleander. He says it’s nothing she wouldn’t do to him. She says she would have succeeded, and he tells her that now’s her chance. She says until the deal is finished, he can live, and to get out before she changes her mind. He leaves, along with his fresh haircut. Olivia tells herself that Julian needs another reprimand, and she knows exactly how to deliver it.
Alexis tells Sam not to be digging around. Sam says she can take care of herself, and just hang on to the key. Alexis doesn’t like it, but tells her to be careful. Sam’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J pretending to be the doctor’s office, and asking her to come in.
Tomorrow, Michael and Nelle are stuck, Jordan tells Curtis that she might lose her job because of him, and Olivia-F wants to know who’s after Julian.
I’d better see the Gigster tonight or I’m going to start questioning the integrity of this show.
In New Orleans, Jax wakes Brittany with a fart. This is actually better than an alarm clock, since you’ll never hit snooze. She asks if he remembers crying the night before. She tells Jax that if he really wants to be a better human, don’t treat her like crap. Seems simple enough. She says it’s awkward when he apologizes to an ex, and then acts like an idiot with her. In his interview, he says he can’t win. Because he’s so simple, he can’t even understand simple enough.
Schwartz wakes up on the couch. He tells Katie that she was super mean to him the night before. We flash back to the revelry in the streets. Katie says they left for the hotel around 4:30 in the morning, and everything was fine. In her interview, she says she wanted to take a car home, and he thought she was being unreasonable, but in his version, she’s drunk and yelling at him. He says she doesn’t remember because she was too drunk, and she insists that she wasn’t. Want to make a bet that both of them were?
The girls go to Galatoire’s, one of the oldest restaurants in NOLA, for brunch. Stassi says all holidays and birthdays were celebrated there when she was a girl, and we see some retro photos. Brittany says the boys were acting like weirdos last night, and Stassi says she was embarrassed.
The guys go on a swamp tour. I’ve never been to NOLA, but I have gone on one of those in Florida. The guide instructs them that if an alligator comes in the boat, it’s not part of the tour, and to run. Ariana is joining them, since she’s a groomsman and wants to see gators. Schwartz starts drinking, and tells them about having a fight with Katie. The boat stops, and everyone looks at an alligator. Ariana feeds it some popcorn. Or Cheetos. Or something. The guide picks up the alligator and everyone takes pictures. Tom says he brought doughnuts and there’s a snake in the box. This is not a euphemism for anything. There is an actual snake in the box. There’s also a snake in the cooler. The guide pulls out a baby alligator and teases Schwartz with it. He freaks, but I’d want to hold it.
Kristen passes out rubber wristbands to everyone, each with an appropriate name for the recipient. The food looks fabulous. My sister lived in NOLA for a while, until Katrina hit. I’ve always regretted not visiting her there. Love the food. Love the music. Scheana doesn’t like anything in a shell; it grosses her out. I don’t have a problem with it, but I think eating a whole crab or lobster is a lot of work for too little payback. She and Kristen step away from the table, and talk, while Stassi talks to Katie. In her interview, Kristen says she, Scheana, and Carter discussed Katie’s anger toward Schwartz. They think it stems from him cheating two years ago, and she’s been mad at him ever since. Scheana says Schwartz needs to own it and apologize.
After the swamp tour, the guys and Ariana have a blue crab picnic. Tom says Schwartz doesn’t look too good, and he says he feels sorry for the crabs. Tom thinks they should go to counseling. Schwartz and Katie, not Schwartz and the crabs. Carter says Katie doesn’t feel like she has his back, and he thinks Schwartz hooking up in Vegas is still weighing on her. She takes it out on him because he’s never taken full responsibility. In his interview, Schwartz says every time he thinks it’s resolved, it’s not, especially when Katie is drinking. Jax feels partially responsible, since he introduced Schwartz to the Vegas girl. In his interview, Tom says Carter’s words have Kristen’s fingerprint on them. Shay explains how he and Scheana had to deal with their issues. Schwartz says Scheana doesn’t take your deepest insecurities and rage at you for hours. Jax wonders why they’re even getting married. Shay says marriage isn’t easy, and Ariana says something is troubling Katie. Tom says Schwartz sounds like a battered wife. In his interview, Tom says he’s known Schwartz forever and wants him to be happy, and gets all teary. He gets teary at the picnic too, saying he doesn’t want to see Schwartz like this. Jax wonders what’s up with everyone crying, and Ariana says she should have stuck with the girls. Tom suggests they go back and throw on heels and a dress.
Lisa checks into SUR, and talks to the chefs about adding some new dishes to the menu. She wants to keep things current, and doesn’t want the chefs to get complacent. She questions one of the chef’s trousers that have a cartoon mushroom pattern. So do I. They look like pajama bottoms for a ten-year-old.
The girls get ready for the bachelorette party. A girl shows up with a cake, and turns into a stripper. Kristen has hired her to turn things up. Kristen hands Katie a bunch of dollar bills. The girl does a lap dance for Katie. They wonder how to tell the guys that they got a stripper, and the guys didn’t.
Tom rallies the guys after naptime. He’s called in the experts, and brought in Miss Aubrey to be their drag mother. She brings a couple of other drag queens with her. Jax needs help deciphering how to put a bra on, getting the arm strap wrapped around his head somehow.
Ariana visits the girls and says they’re blurring the lines of what it means to be a man or a woman in today’s society. Hardly. Blurring the lines of what it means to be an adult maybe. In her interview, Kristen thinks Ariana wishes she was a bridesmaid instead. Ariana tells the guys that they’re losing in the fun department, and shows them pictures. Tom says they’re just getting started. He’s brought an entire wardrobe stash. Ariana tells Schwartz that Katie is having a great time, and he’s happy. Jax says let’s go break some hearts or break something.
The girls take more pictures with the stripper, and get ready for the evening.
The guys pick a sports bar to grace with their dragness. I doubt anyone is going to care, but they actually get cheers when they come in. Ariana has also dressed in reverse drag. The guys and Ariana mingle, and Schwartz wonders how to pee with all the undergarments he’s wearing. He asks a table of women where his penis is, and says they can have it for a while, but he needs it back. He’s getting pretty drunk. Omg, we actually do see Jax trying to pee (from the back, but still), and he pees on his dress. You can dress him up, but you can’t take him out.
In her interview, Kristen says at Scheana’s bachelorette party they did the standard stuff, like carving cucumber penises and making toilet paper wedding dresses. Stassi planned this one, so they went on a murder tour. Kristen informs us that the main reason for murder in NOLA is cheating, and if they lived there, it would be a ghost town. Scheana tells them that Shay had an allergic reaction to something, but really he’s feeling left out because he doesn’t drink. That’s totally understandable. For the record, we did not carve cucumbers or make toilet paper dresses at my wedding shower, but I did have to wear a hat made out of the gift bows.
Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken taste test the new dishes, along with Lisa’s business partners. Lisa says it’s a different vibe without the kids there, and they discuss the combined bachelor/bachelorette parties. Lisa tells them about how she upgraded Schwartz and Katie’s room.
The group reconvenes at the hotel. Tom has changed wigs. He felt that the dark wig was too stepmom, and the blonde is more sexy and youthful. Stassi thinks he’d get more likes than her on her dating app. She says Jax looks like your friend Tiffany, who spells her name with an “i” at the end, and needs a ride to a check cashing place and then to a 7/11 for cigarettes. I like Stassi a lot more now that she’s mellowed in the thoughtless department. She’s really very funny. In her interview, Katie says she and Tom take their fighting to extremes, but are able to forgive. Kristen doesn’t think Schwartz is as adorable as he looks.
Jax and Brittany’s room is trashed from earlier antics. I’d hate to be a maid in a Vegas hotel. Jax takes off his drag, and apologizes to his balls, saying he’ll never do that to them again.
Kristen talks to Schwartz. She says he and Katie really only fight about one thing – the chick in Vegas. Schwartz thinks the logic is flawed, and doesn’t want to discuss it. Kristen begs him to listen. He walks away, saying that Kristen is a psycho bitch. She says she just wants them to be on the same page before they get married. Schwartz is not receptive to talking, and Tom tells Kristen to leave him alone. Schwartz starts to go in the elevator, and Kristen says it’s not Tom’s business, and tells him to get out. In his interview, he says she’s a psycho and he’s been there. In the elevator, Schwartz says all kinds of crap about Kristen, including calling her a whore. Carter tells him to back off, and Tom tells him he was there, and Carter is dating the new and improved Kristen. Carter, the voice of reason, says this isn’t about Kristen right now. Tom says if she brought up the past, he has a right to.
Jax and Brittany hear them arguing, and Jax says he’s not getting involved. Schwartz says all he did was make out. Jax tells Brittany it’s a ten-year battle, but she doesn’t like the way they’re attacking Kristen when she’s not even there. Katie comes upstairs. Scwartz complains about Kristen. Katie says Kristen has been downstairs, and asks why they’re trashing her. Jax says this is going to be a disaster tomorrow.
Kristen tells Ariana and Scheana that Katie told her she’s never gotten over Schwartz cheating on her. Ariana says she gets it now.
Tom tells Scheana that all Schwartz did was kiss a girl. Schwartz says he’s not sure what happened, but he’s almost positive they didn’t have sex. The girls and Carter gather. Stassi tells Katie that she had no idea that’s why they’d been fighting, and now it makes sense. In her interview, Katie says Kristen had good intentions even if her delivery was off, but you can’t put toothpaste back in a tube. Meanwhile, Scheana tries to explain things, and Schwartz says he can’t marry Katie.
Next time, Katie calls Lisa, Jax says Schwartz admitted to hooking up, more shots are downed, there’s a possible game of spin-the-bottle, and Schwartz loses his penis again.
Walking Dead Questions Answered (Kind of)
For those who wondered about Winslow on The Walking Dead, this article probably won’t enlighten you:
For those who wondered about Michonne’s lost cat, this article will enlighten you somewhat: