Monthly Archives: May 2017

May 30, 2017 – The End of Jake’s Magic Act, a One-Day Charter & Eddie is Surrounded

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jason tells Jake it’s late and they need to go home. Anna tells him to stop. Jake sees Helena. He holds the Chimera up, and Helena tells him, bravo. He flips it on. Valentin says it’s unlocked, and they have to get out of there, but Jake says they have to stay. It would be really funny if the whole thing was a sham and the Chimera was a dud.

Dante calls Sonny. He leaves a message telling him not to do anything stupid. Scotty told him that Sonny had been trying to shake him down, and he figures it’s about Morgan’s pills.

Carly gets in Ava’s face, and says come and get her. Ava says no more, and throws the lantern to the ground, starting a fire. Ava says they’re not going anywhere, and draws her gun. She says fair is fair, and now it’s Sonny’s turn.

Nathan tells Amy she stole his photo. She prefers the word “borrowed,” and says he should be thanking her for making him famous.

Valentin tells Jake not to open it. Jason says it looks heavy; maybe he should put it down. Helena tells him not to listen, and just look at her. Jason asks what he’s looking at. Helena calls Jake her clever, darling boy, and says he knows what to do.

Valentin asks Emma and Charlotte to come. He tells Lulu, Laura, and Nina to get them somewhere safe. Out in the hallway, Nina asks what just happened.

Jason says he knows Jake is scared, but it will be okay, just hand him the martini shaker canister. He says she doesn’t want him too. Jason asks who, and he says Helena. Elizabeth asks if she’s there and telling him to open it. He nods. Helena tells him not to weaken. Elizabeth tells him to keep looking at her. Helena doesn’t have the power; he does. Jason says he’s the one in control. Elizabeth tells him to give Jason the container. Helena tells him not to listen, and to open the Chimera and do what he was born to do.

Nathan tells Amy that it’s the epitome of false advertising. Details, details, she says. He tells her that he doesn’t want to be a part of it, but she says he hasn’t even read it. She tells him about the advice that he gives. He asks if this is the other job she talked about. She says she doesn’t get paid right now, but eventually, the money will roll in. She asks if they’re good, and he tells her they will be as soon as she takes it down.

Ava admits to replacing Morgan’s lithium with a placebo. She didn’t want it to get that far, but instead of seeing if there was a problem, they indulged him. Didn’t it occur to them that something was wrong, and he belonged in an institution? Sonny calls her a psychotic bitch, and says she led Morgan down the wrong path. Sonny says he’s not standing there. They’re leaving, and she can shoot him in the back. Carly tells her to burn in hell, and they leave.

Ava tries to get out another door, but the exit is blocked. I think she could probably squeeze through the opening if she tried though.

Helena urges Jake to give them a show. Elizabeth asks if he’s seeing the witch, and if she’s telling him to do things he doesn’t want to do. She tells him that the witch isn’t real; she’s a bad dream. Helena laughs and says it isn’t true. Elizabeth tells Jake that Helena thinks she’s won, and Helena says she knows she has. Elizabeth says she thinks the hate she has for everyone is stronger than the love Elizabeth has for him. But she couldn’t be more wrong. Jake fingers the container opening.

Amy tells Nathan that she has advertisers lined up, and they’re the next big thing. Nathan is like, there’s no “we.” He asks why doesn’t she just put her own picture on the column? She says smart blondes are a dime a dozen. He tells her either take down his image or the blog. She asks if he couldn’t learn something from her advice, and what if she could help him save his marriage?

Dante gets a call about the fire. He asks who owns the warehouse. When he finds out that it’s Ava, and he says he’ll be right there.

Ava can’t get out. Something falls, and she can’t get through the other door either. Carly and Sonny wander around in the smoke. Carly says they made a wrong turn, and Sonny tells her that they have to go back. They hear Ava calling for help.

Charlotte asks if her papa is in trouble, but Nina says he’s just trying to help. Emma wonders why Jake seems afraid, but still wants to open the container. Laura and Lulu get the girls out. Nina decides to stay.

Elizabeth says she knows that Jake can do it. Helena says that she hasn’t scratched the surface of what he can do. Elizabeth calls him strong, but Helena says she’s the one who prepared him to face his destiny. She tells him to release the Kraken Chimera. Elizabeth asks Jake if he can tell how much she loves him; how much they all do. Helena says enough drivel; end it now. Ha-ha! I love Helena. Elizabeth says they know that Jake loves them too, and that’s why Helena can’t win; love is always stronger than hate. Jason says they can handle anything as long as they have each other. Jake turns off the Chimera, and Helena disappears. Anna takes the box and puts it on the floor. Elizabeth hugs Jake.

Lulu tells Charlotte that her dad will get her asap. Emma wants to know why Jake was acting weird, and Charlotte asks why everyone seemed scared. Laura tries to finagle it into magic show suspense. The girls go to the kitchen for cookies. Lulu wonders what was in the canister, and if she should call Dante. Laura tells her to wait. Lulu asks if Laura thinks Helena had something to do with it. Laura says yes, but they have the upper hand this time. They’re not on the island, but among family and friends in Port Charles.

Elizabeth tells Jake how strong he is. He tells them he’s sorry. Jason says it wasn’t his fault, and he has nothing to be sorry about. They hug. Franco approaches Elizabeth, and Nina comes back in. Valentin says he wanted her to leave the building, but the threat has been neutralized for now. He explains what happened, and says it’s why Alex was chasing him, pretending to be Anna. Nina asks if it’s over, and he says not until the canister is destroyed. Anna tells Jake how brave he is, and Jason says they’re proud of him. Elizabeth tells Franco she was scared, and they hug. Jason thanks her. She thinks Jake should be checked out at the hospital. Jason asks Elizabeth and Franco to take him. He wants to make sure Helena has no more surprises. Elizabeth tells him to be careful, and gathers up Jake.

Anna says the area has to be cleared. Nina offers to call security and the police. Anna tells Valentin she’ll call the WSB, and have it destroyed.

While Nina is in the hallway making the call, a man holds a gun to her head and says her call just dropped

Amy says that Maxie and Nathan are at opposite ends of the country, and Nathan says that Maxie has a job in Portland. Amy tells him that there are jobs everywhere. Nathan says they’ll figure it out, and she says, if he says so, but she has to get to work.

The fire starts to spread, more slowly than any fire in history. Ava screams for help. Carly asks Sonny what should they do? He says they can’t help her; they’ll all die. He tells Carly that they can call 911 when they get out. Ava is now lying on the floor, unconscious.

Sonny and Carly get outside. Carly calls 911, and tells them what’s going on, adding that they should hurry. She tells Sonny that the fire was already reported. Smoke is coming out from under the door.

Elizabeth and Franco wait at the hospital. Franco says Jake will be fine. Elizabeth says she can’t stop thinking about what a close call it was. Franco applauds her mom awesomeness, and they kiss.

Coming out of the hospital elevator, Amy asks Nathan to stop arguing. He says not until she takes the picture down. They see Franco and Elizabeth. Amy asks if something happened at the Nurses Ball, and Franco says they’re not going to believe it.

Two guys go into the ballroom, one of them still holding a gun on Nina. They want the box, but Jason says he doesn’t have it.

That’s because Valentin has it. Anna asks him what he’s doing. He says he was short-sighted, but it was years ago. He tells her that selling the device to Helena was a bad mistake in anyone’s book, but not to act like she doesn’t have regrets. He didn’t sell himself to the DVX. She was a double-agent, but didn’t have price tag on her head or need surgeries. She says that she was young and full of herself, and did it for money. He tells her that she doesn’t get to judge. She says he’s in possession of classified weapon, and it has to be destroyed. Valentin says that’s what he’s going to do.

Anna says she spoke to Robert, and the WSB is going to handle it. Valentin says, great; they handled the Alex situation really well. He says mistakes were made, and Charlotte almost died. She says they all almost died, including Emma. He thinks the WSB will just put it in a vault somewhere, but Anna says it was a mistake made by cold war hysteria, and they want it gone. She asks him to give it to her and be done with it. He says the past is coming back to bite him, and what if it was her past? Would she trust it to an organization that’s failed her over and over? She says fine, don’t trust them, but trust her. His phone rings. It’s Nina. She says she’s in the ballroom, and there’s a guy holding gun who wants the Chimera, and the phone disconnects. Valentin tells Anna that Nina is being held hostage by someone who wants the Chimera. She says he knows what to do.

Laura plays charades with the girls. She asks if Charlotte wants to try, but she’s too worried. Lulu says maybe they’re having fun and lost track of time. Emma says they’re doing that thing grownups do – not telling the truth. Lulu says they can be sure that everyone wants to help Jake. She says Anna, Jason and Valentin are smart and brave, and can handle it. Emma says, copy that.

Dante asks if Sonny and Carly are okay. Carly tells him that Ava is still inside. He’s like, you left her in there??? Sonny says she started fire, and tells him what happened. Carly says they thought she took a different exit. Sonny says by the time they realized, they couldn’t go back and help or they’d all die. The firemen go inside. Sonny tells Dante their hands are clean. Dante hopes so, and says if something happens to Ava, they’ll have to answer for it.

Valentin enters the ballroom with the box. He tells them to take it and get out. Jason asks if he’s crazy, and Valentin tells him to stay out of it. They take the box, and let Nina go. They open box, and one of them asks what Valentin is trying to pull. Valentin tells Nina to run. He and Jason fight the bad guys.

Nathan arrives, and asks Nina what’s going on.

The firemen bring Ava out. She’s alive, but not looking good. A fireman says that she’s barely hanging on, and they have to get to the hospital asap. Carly says at least she got out. Sonny tells Carly that he’ll give her a ride home. Dante says they have to come to the station for a statement.

Franco and Elizabeth go into Jake’s hospital room. Amy tells them he’s doing great. So great, they want to keep him overnight, so he can show the other kids how it’s done. Franco tells Jake that he’s brave; it takes a lot of courage to face the demons in your head. Jake asks if Helena is gone and not coming back. Elizabeth tells him that the nightmares are over, and only sweet dreams from now on.

Anna hears someone, and says close enough. She sees a man, and asks if Scorpio sent him. He says yes, showing ID, and that he has to take the Chimera to WSB headquarters. Anna says she’s coming along. She has to see for herself that it’s neutralized.

Nathan calls for a squad. He wants Nina to leave, but she won’t. He goes into the ballroom and we hear a gunshot. Nina runs in, and Valentin lies on the floor, bleeding. NOOOOO! Nina runs to him.

Tomorrow, Nathan wants to talk to Nina about Valentin, Epiphany has bad news, and Dante wants to know why Sonny and Carly were at the warehouse.

Below Deck Mediterranean

After nine hours total, the anchor is finally untangled and in. Captain Sandy has a new appreciation for Wes. Malia tells us she’s attracted to both Wes and Chef Adam. Chef Adam is feeling receptive to that.

Finally, tip time. The captain tells the crew about being considerate of others. Mostly because Bobby is a child. The tip from the Mr. Skin charter is $17,000, $1,500 each. The crew goes ashore for drinking time. Wes demonstrates making sounds by squishing his palms together. In her interview, Hannah says only Max isn’t interested in Malia. What’s up with Max? The crew goes back to the boat, and Adam breaks out some ribs. Adam’s ribs. Lauren is feeling sad and left out, and asks Bobby if he can forgive her. In his interview, he says that he’ll forgive, but not forget. Very original.

This time it’s a one-day charter that the primary guest, Eden, has set up for his girlfriend to celebrate some milestones in their lives. They want a Croatian dinner, but have no weird food requests, which makes Adam very happy. Especially after the last group, several of whom could only eat lettuce leaves harvested from the moon.

Bugs is trying to come to terms about not attending her grandmother’s funeral. The crew gets into their whites to great the guests. Champagne is handed out, and Hannah gives the tour. The agenda is a cheese plate, water toys, and lunch on shore. Wow. They have a lot of bags for just one day. Adam is impressed with how Bugs is always a step ahead.

Ohh, Max has a girlfriend. That explains why he’s not after Malia. He talks about his lady having a dancing contract in Dubai, and how it’s difficult to get out of the country. Malia learns more about dropping anchor. Wes wants to prove to the captain that he can handle his crew by himself.

Cheese plate, done. Water toys, happening. Weather, not so great. Captain Sandy says they have to drop anchor asap. Suddenly, a guest gets hurt falling off the banana. She’s hit her head, and Bobby asks questions like what year is it? In his interview, he says he went into firefighter mode, and wants to impress the captain, Wes, and Malia. Captain Sandy says they’re dragging anchor, and tells the crew to get the toys out of the water now.

Hannah decides to send Bugs with Adam on his shore shopping trip, since she could use a break. The yacht docks, and the captain checks on the guest who was hurt. She says she just got the wind knocked out of her, but I’ll bet she has a helluva headache too. Bugs asks Hannah if it’s okay if she gives Lauren guidance, and Hannah is all for that.

The guests go for lunch, and Adam and Bugs go to the market. Adam says he likes to follow the culture as a chef. As always, everything looks amazing – both the restaurant and the market food. Bobby thinks Hannah wants nothing to do with him now, and feels completely alone. Malia flirts with Wes.

Adam and Bugs stop for a drink, and Adam tells her that she’s strong and professional. He thinks they’ll work well together. The guests decide to bring the party on board, adding a few “friends.” Ten of them. Did they pick these people up at the restaurant?

Commercial break. Please. It’s for Trojan, and this girl is strolling along with the box peeking out of her bag. On purpose. Who does that? A hooker?

Lauren feels overwhelmed by the amount of people, but says it’s her time to shine. Adam wakes Hannah up to help when one of the guests comes to him looking for beer. Lauren is annoyed. Some extremely cool sorbet snacks are set out, and I covet the weirdly shaped dishes they’re being served in. The new friends leave before dinner, which I’m sure is a relief to the crew.

A Grecian flavor has been decided on for the Croatian dinner. Hannah asks Bobby if he’s good at this toga business. Malia thinks Adam is intriguing, but she once dated her captain, and says you know shipboard romance isn’t going to last. The table is decorated with gold, bunches of grapes, and palm fronds. One of the guests acts like an idiot, because Hannah asked him to leave the dining area while they were setting the table, and he didn’t want to wear an “f-ing toga,” when she asked him if he was into it. No more for him. A few of the guests and the crew sport togas.

Lauren feels like everyone thinks she’s incompetent. Adam says Bugs looks pretty fast next to Hannah, not that he’s calling Hannah lazy. Hannah brings out the deckhands in togas, and Adam follows with a four-layer cake to represent the primary guests’ four celebrations. The dudes discuss the tip, and crabby drunk guy acts all stingy. Hannah thinks if you have to argue about the tip, you’re a cheap ass.

One of the guests tells Hannah that she “feels energy,” because she’s sensitive to it, and thinks something is weird. Hannah tells her they’re just trying to clean up. Bugs says she feels weird energy when she’s wasted too. Lauren is looking for bottled water, and gives everyone attitude. Hannah talks to Adam about Wes, and thinks Malia should get with him. Adam isn’t thrilled with that idea.

Croatia is my new dream destination. It’s absolutely beautiful. Adam makes a fabulous breakfast to go with the scenery. Crabby-ass sips coffee. Hannah and Bugs discuss charging the radios. Hannah thinks Bugs and Adam are getting along well. Wes says some things about shoving off that I don’t understand because he talks in Swedish or something. The captain is pissed because there’s a stern line in the water. Bobby cops to it being his fault, surprising me. The captain wants Wes to handle the lines like he knows what he’s doing. Maybe he does, but they can’t understand him.

It’s time to say good-by to the guests. The girlfriend says the trip was spectacular. Let’s see if the tip is. Captain Sandy thanks the crew. The tip is $12, 000, $1,100 each. Hannah says not bad for a one-day charter. Agreed. Bugs tells Lauren the more overwhelmed she gets, the more it will eat her up. She says if Lauren needs help, to just ask her. In her interview, Lauren talks about being a people pleaser. Lauren tells Hannah she doesn’t think other crew members are respecting her position. She talks about the deckhands sitting around, and Hannah tells her to be assertive and ask. Hannah says that sitting around crying affects everyone, and to just stop. Bugs is annoyed that Hannah told her to deal with Lauren, and is now inserting herself. It’s all hugged out by the end of the conversation.

Everyone gets ready for down time on shore. Adam feels like Wes has had too much time with Malia, and wants to stake his claim. The crew goes to dinner. Everyone talks about their sex lives, and Bugs says she and Wes are waiting for marriage. In her interview, she says that she and her boyfriend aren’t clingy. Adam tells everyone that living in a van isn’t exactly a chick magnet. We see pictures though, and it’s not like a van down by the river; it looks like a small, but charming home. They move on to the club.

Malia tells Bugs she doesn’t want to hang out with Adam and ruin things with Wes. Everyone drinks more and dances. Bobby gets roses for the ladies. Lauren has felt like a weak link and is glad for the approval she’s feeling from Hannah. That’s just sad. Malia plucks her rose, doing loves me, loves me not. Bobby vogues. Adam tells Bugs what a great stew she is. She’s feeling uncomfortable because Hannah is within earshot. He asks if she thinks he has a chance with Malia. She thinks he should be worried about Wes. In his interview, he says Wes is Malia’s boss and it’s a no-no. Um, she already slept with her previous captain.

Wes says Malia is a hard decision to make, but good things are spontaneous. They flirt. They kiss. They kiss some more. He says this goes against everything. They return to the table separately. Malia tells Adam, who says that he’s not letting Wes take her, whatever that means. Wes tells Bugs that he’s conflicted. Back on the boat, Adam tells Malia to forget about the kiss. She says no. Bugs encourages Wes. Adam lays a kiss on Malia.

Next time, the guests consume six and a half bottles of vodka in less than six hours (a record!), Hannah and Adam clash, and Lauren tells Malia that romance with two crew members is not a good look. I agree. I’m disappointed in her.

If Loving You is Wrong

Travis asks Kelly if she missed him. She asks why he’s doing this. She asks what she can do to make him stop. He says make love to him – like she did the last time. She says okay. He tells her that if she tries anything, he’ll kill her, and Justice will find her dead, bloody corpse. That’s a little redundant, since all corpses are dead. She agrees. He wants to take a shower first because, who knows? He grabs a knife as they walk past the kitchen.

He asks Kelly why she’s scared. Then he shows her the knife. He asks if she wants him to put it down, and she says please do. He does, and says she still looks scared. She says it’s because of what he did. He’s all smiley and weird, and says she learns quick. He tells her to get on her knees. She begs him no.

Um… I think she bit him. He’s like ow! and she runs. She doesn’t get far. Travis knocks her down by the bathroom door. He hears Justice saying that he’s calling the police, and runs. Kelly locks herself in the bedroom with Justice.

Brad asks Marcie if she’s pregnant. She asks if he’s been talking to Alex, and he tells her that he has. She says she is, but it’s Randal’s. She can count, unlike his dumb-ass wife. He says he thought she couldn’t have children, but she says she was wrong. All the years she prayed for a baby, it comes now. She’s not telling Randal though. Marcie asks if Alex will tell him, but Brad says she’s not talking to him. He tells Marcie congratulations. She says she could accept it more if it was his, but scientifically, it’s not possible, as much as she wanted it to be. Brad thinks it’s wise not to tell Randal, especially with what he’s doing with Alex and custody of their baby. Marcie says it’s all about control. Brad says Alex thinks the baby is his, and tells Marcie that all this poison in her isn’t good. She says she loves him. They kiss, confusing me. He asks what she’s going to name the baby, and Marcie asks Brad to hold her. She tells him she’s sorry this happened, and he says him too.

It’s disco time! Julius is hanging at the club, when Ben walks in. I guess this is a strip club, but it looks like a throwback to the 70s. Julius snorts cocaine, and hopes his father is burning in hell. Alrighty then. Ben sits down. He says it’s awesome, and Julius asks which girl he wants. He says he has a girlfriend, and Julius smacks him, telling him not to say that, so Ben picks a girl. Julius calls for a drink. He asks what Ben likes, saying they have all kinds of candy. Julius tells him to enjoy, and Ben helps himself to some blow. Julius asks again what girl he wants, and says if he likes boys, he can get that too, but he doesn’t want to see it. Ben chooses a girl, and Julius tells her to do to Ben what she did to get into the party. Ben says he’s nervous because of cell phones. Julius shoots up in the air a couple of times. Everyone ducks and everything gets quiet, and Julius asks if there are any cell phones there. It’s a no, and everyone goes back to partying. Julius insists Ben continue. Honestly though, this looks like the Worst. Strip Club. Ever. It reminds me of a bar in my hometown. It was called The Interlude, and as kids, it all seemed very mysterious and sophisticated, and we were always trying to peek inside. During one of my vacations after moving away from home, a friend and I decided to check it out. It was like we’d stepped back into another era. There was fur along the bar like some cliché pimp’s dashboard, and one poor go-go girl was dancing all by herself in front of some mirrors on an empty dance floor. Absolutely no one was paying attention to her because – wait for it – Camelot was making it’s TV debut, and all of the patrons were glued to the screen.

Ben asks the girl to stop. Julius says he thinks Ben likes boys, and asks what’s going on. Ben says he’s been so nice, and Julius asks how the car is. Ben says he loves it, and drove it here, but wants to know why. Julius says it’s time to be honest. Before his father died, he told him, why make an enemy when you can use them to your advantage? He says the cops are his enemies, and Ben is being used. He tells Ben that after Julius Sr. died, the cops on his payroll got scared, and some got arrested. He says he’s starting his own crew. He tells Ben he’s not the only one. Ben leaves with the girl, and a guy whispers something to Julius. Julius says, Eddie.

Natalie thinks she slept too long, and tells Lushion she’s going to be up all night now. He asks how she’s feeling, and she says better, but wants to visit Joey tomorrow. He thinks they should test out the walls to find out how soundproof they are. She says his phone is vibrating, and he jokes that it’s not his phone, but it is. It’s Esperanza. She says she tried to call Kelly, but can’t get ahold of her. She asks Lushion to check on her. Natalie says now he’s cheating on her with Esperanza and has a baby with Alex. He adds that he’s going to check on his girlfriend Kelly, and explains about Travis still harassing her.

Lushion goes outside in his jammies. Natalie sees someone outside, and jumps up. She runs out the front door, and tells Lushion there was a man outside the window. He tells her to get inside, lock the door, call the police, and call Kelly.

The cops come to Kelly’s house. Lushion tells Dion that Kelly isn’t making this up, and Dion says he knows. Esperanza asks if Kelly wants to go to the hospital, but Kelly says Travis stopped when Justice said he was calling the police. She gets highly pissed at Dion, saying that Travis had to come at her with a knife before he believed her. She thanks him for serving and protecting, and tells him to go find Travis. He’ll be the one with a bite mark on his penis. I laugh, even though it’s not really funny. I wasn’t expecting it. Natalie and Esperanza take Kelly over to Natalie’s house.

Alex arrives slightly late to the hearing. She says she had to stop to feed her son. Randal gets mad because it’s not fair that Alex gets to visit. The judge asks if Randal would like an order so he can start breastfeeding, and I laugh again. Alex apologizes for wasting the court’s time, and says Randal is the father, and asks for custody. The judge asks why Alex held up the ruling, and Alex says that she was desperate. Randal says that’s no excuse, and the judge agrees. Randal’s lawyer asks for full custody, and no visitation without supervision. Alex begs Randal to let him stay with her, and he can see him whenever he wants to. The judge says he’s granting full custody to the only parent represented here. Randal and I say, what? According to the DNA, he’s not the father. We all look puzzled. Randal calls Alex a slut, and the judge tells him to calm down. He can’t believe it. Neither can Alex. The lawyer looks at the test, and Randal smacks it out of his hand. Randal stomps out, and his lawyer follows.

The judge explains about visits to see if it’s a safe environment, and says they’ll follow-up in thirty days. Alex thanks him. Man, I’d look out for Randal. Did Brad or someone else rig that test? Or are either Alex or Brad not entirely white? Could that be why Alex’s parents were such bigots?

Kelly emerges, and Natalie tells her that Lushion took the kids to school. Kelly says she’s embarrassed; she doesn’t even know how this happened. She’d loved Travis. Natalie says it could happen to any of them. She didn’t know he was crazy. She suggests Kelly get a gun. Kelly says Travis has been sneaking up on her, and she’d be afraid the tables would get turned. She says it’s hard being in the house because of Ramses. She slips about him being murdered there, and Natalie says she’s getting a preacher to bless the place. Kelly tells her to make sure it isn’t Travis. Natalie walks Kelly home.

Lushion gets a call from Pete, saying he’s being moved. He tells Lushion they’re taking Eddie down directly afterward. He asks if there’s any word on Andrew, but that’s a no. Lushion says he’ll call later. He’s surprised Steven finally decided to take Eddie down, but Steven says his boss did. He says this means he doesn’t get Escada. Lushion says maybe not like this, but they’ll get him. Steven says Lushion got his way, and he’s done with this.

Kelly gets an alarm system put into the house. Natalie’s friend Michelle arrives. She’s the gun lady. She shows Kelly a glock, and asks how it feels. Kelly asks if it’s legal, and Michelle shows her a license, saying she’ll still have to do a background check. She also suggests lessons. Kelly asks about safes, and Michelle says she can get one tomorrow. Kelly’s credit card is declined. Twice. Kelly gets another card, but it’s the same thing. Kelly has no idea what’s going on. Michelle asks if she has cash, and Kelly says that she’ll call the bank. Michelle says the wait will cost her. Kelly says fifteen minutes.

Michelle goes to wait in her car, and Kelly calls the bank. She asks Jill to run her card. Jill says it’s over the limit. Kelly asks about the charges, and Jill says it’s a bunch of sex toys, and all the cards are over the limit. She says Kelly could get into trouble at work. Kelly says Jill knows that’s not her. Jill says they were attached to her accounts, and she has no money. Kelly wonders why no one called. Yeah, me too. Jill says she’d better get to the bottom of it before the boss finds out. Kelly asks her to keep it between them until she can do some research. Forget that. I’d be going to boss and asking wth is going on with the security.

Ben’s driving the red sportscar when Eddie pulls him over. He asks why Ben Is in a car like that, and Ben says it’s his buddy’s car. Eddie asks if it’s a drug dealer’s car. Ben says no, but Eddie says he’s lying. He wants to run the plates. They’re in Ohio – I never knew that. I’m from Ohio. Eddie sees drugs in the car, and asks who Ben is running for. Ben says they’re his. Eddie finds out the car is registered to Julius. He smacks Ben around, and Ben claims he was just joy riding. Eddie tells Ben to get lost, and says he’s taking the car. He’s so incredibly stupid. Eddie drives away, and Ben gets into Eddie’s police car.

The girls arrive at Natalie’s house. They all compliment her, and she jokes that Alex’s baby daddy bought all the decor. Natalie asks Kelly if she’s okay, and she says she is, and just wants them to enjoy the evening. They discuss house alarms, and Natalie thinks she should get one too. Natalie says since Lushion invited them, she’s calling him to get some food.

Lushion wanders around the station, waiting. Natalie calls, and he says he can’t make it. He tells her something came up, but it’s just going to be her and the girls. He apologizes, and says it’s very important. She says she’ll order take-out. Steven tells him they don’t know where Eddie is, and Lushion practically hangs up on Natalie. Ben comes in, claiming that Eddie told him to bring his car back to the station. They tell him to go find Eddie. Lushion is concerned that Eddie knows what’s up, but Steven says that’s impossible.

Eddie turns his radio off to enjoy the high. Julius pulls up behind him. Oh, Eddie is doing something other than drugs. He has a girl in the car. Julius says Eddie seems to know a lot about him, and he’s about to save his life again. He tells Eddie not to go to the station – the FBI is waiting. Eddie asks how he knows, and Julius says he knows a lot of things. He has people everywhere. He says Eddie’s captain is in Columbia because he was about to be brought in. Eddie says he’d never mention Julius, but Julius says his time is up at that station; it’s time for new blood. He says if Eddie gets busted and mentions his name… Eddie says he’d never do that. Julius asks if he’s hard of hearing. Eddie says he knew Lushion was FBI. Julius says he doesn’t know Lushion, but he knows his informant, and Eddie had better get lost; he can’t afford him. Eddie says he understands, and he’s going. Julius tells him to clean the seats, and bring the car to his house. Eddie kicks the girl out of the car, and looks like he has a headache.

There’s a knock at Natalie’s door. It’s Marcie bearing wine. She asks if it’s a party and should she come back, but Natalie says it’s just the girls, and come on in. Marcie sits next to Alex. She asks if there’s anything juicy to talk about, and Esperanza thinks they should break out the wine. Marcie says that she thought Alex would have told them – she’s pregnant. She tells them that it’s Brad’s. Now Kelly looks like she has a headache. Marcie says she kept trying with Randal, and one time with her new man, and bam. She asks how Alex’s baby is, and Natalie says they’re not doing this in her new house. Alex says she’ll leave, and Esperanza says they need to stop all of this right now. Alex says that’s not going to happen with Marcie, and Marcie runs her mouth some more. She tells Natalie that she and Lushion have great taste, and she and Alex have great taste in men. She says it turns out Randal isn’t the father of Alex’s baby. She tells them about the DNA test, and how hard she laughed when Louise told her. She says Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s. Natalie says it is not, and Marcie says she thought the same thing about Randal. Esperanza tells Marcie to stop. Alex says it’s nobody’s business, and the baby isn’t Lushion’s. She gets up to leave, calling for the kids. Esperanza tells her not to involve the kids, and Alex says send them home when they’re done. She walks out, and they follow.

Alex tells Natalie she knows she wouldn’t do that. On the porch of Alex’s house, Brad sees them, and asks what’s going on. Marcie won’t leave, and Alex wants to talk in private. Marcie asks if he really wants to talk to her, and he says he’ll see her back at the apartment. She kisses him and grabs his crotch, saying she’s warming up her dinner. Like Brad would want her acting so absurd. Alex and Brad go inside, and Marcie sits on the porch.

Brad asks what that’s about, and Alex tells him Marcie is harassing her. Brad says he told her to stop, but she’s not listening. Alex asks why he did that, and he says he’s had enough of her suffering, and doesn’t want her to be hurt. They hug. Alex begs him not to leave. She tells him she loves him. He says they can’t do this. She asks him to say he loves her too. He starts to leave, and she stops him. They start to kiss. Marcie hears noises. She can’t believe it. She gets in her car.

Alex and Brad continue to make out. Marcie drives away.

Steven tells Lushion that it’s going down. Lushion says he’s been waiting for this – bye, Eddie.

Eddie is being pursued by the cops. He hears it on the radio, and tries to avoid them. Too late. He’s blocked. They draw their guns. He looks up, thinking he can fly out of this, but no. He lights a joint instead. Why not? A cop tells him to get out of the car and he just looks at them. He’s surrounded.

Kelly tells Natalie it’s not true, and she doesn’t need to talk to Lushion. Kelly offers to take the kids home, but Natalie intervenes, and the entire household walks out. It’s like a small parade, and looks a little ridiculous. The kids ask what’s going on, and Kelly sends the kids who don’t belong to Alex to her house. Esperanza tells Natalie this is not the time, and Kelly adds that she’s never even seen them together.

Suddenly, Dion and Rick appear, and tell Kelly that she’s under arrest – for Ramses’ murder.

We hear a gunshot from Kelly’s house.

The end – for now.

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May 29, 2017 – No GH, a Door Opens for Kathryn, Classless Potomac, a Little Amish & Some Turquoise

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

No General Hospital today. They reran the “Good-by to Tracy” episode. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as the first time, but still enjoyable, and you can’t beat the ending with Luke waiting for her in a Turkish coffee shop. I do wonder if he’s the person who ultimately bought the painting though. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the answer to that question either.

Southern Charm

Kathryn practices her yoga. Landon calls Thomas to go out to dinner. Craig gets an email saying he passed…something. Cameran and Chelsea are going to Home Goods. Cameran wants a woman cave; her husband suggests a nursery. She tells him about the psychic saying she’ll have three children. He thinks they best get going on that.

Craig puts a copy of the “you passed” email on the fridge. He calls his parents. I find out the cat’s name is Gizmo, and wonder if he has an Instagram account. Craig has satisfied his upper-level writing requirement, which means he has a law degree now. He gives Gizmo some treats to celebrate.

Cameran tells Chelsea that she’s totally redoing the room, and needs help. I immediately covet the grey chaise lounge Cameran parks herself on. She tells Chelsea about the topic of Kathryn coming up at Patricia’s party, but doesn’t exactly present it the way it went. She says whenever they talk about Kathryn, the mood changes. She doesn’t want to get involved and says it’s getting old. What Cameran leaves out is that she’s the one who changed the mood. Whitney merely wondered If Kathryn’s amends-making call was legit, and Cameran got all bent out of shape with Landon backing her up as the Greek-freaking-chorus. Chelsea says she actually met Kathryn at the salon, and – after her initial fear wore off because of what she’d been told – she thought Kathryn was nice. Cameran says she can be lovely, but also an absolute horror. She admits people can change though, so who knows? Maybe she’ll be calling Kathryn some day for mother advice.

Naomie meets Craig for dinner. He tells her about graduating law school, and wanted to tell her in person. She says it’s probably a bigger weight off of her chest than his. Craig asks for credit in improving. Naomie says if there hadn’t been any improvement, they wouldn’t still be together. She acts like an idiot, and then asks if he’s taking the bar. Because God forbid he should be happy for a minute with his recent victory. He says his application is in, but she doesn’t like that answer. She wants him to say the words “I’m taking the bar.”

Shep calls Cameran. He apologizes for getting heated after the party. He just wants everyone to be friends. He’s arranging a lunch, including Kathryn, and would like Cameran to come. She says she doesn’t want any drama. Shep brings up the fact that Thomas is the one who owes her an apology. He says Thomas acts out just as badly (truth!), but he always gets a pass. She says she is curious to see if a change has taken place, so she agrees to come. He tells her to bring safety gear. In his interview, Shep says he’s not on anyone’s side; he’s like Switzerland. He calls Kathryn to warn her that Cameran will be at lunch. We flash back to the reunion, where it didn’t go too well with the two of them.

Thomas tells the nanny that he has a date.

Landon’s sister Bam (wtf? is she a Flintstone?) calls, and Landon tells her about inviting Thomas to dinner. In her interview, she says she’d probably have a ring and all the horses she wanted if she gave the okay. Even though she’s most likely right, that’s incredibly narcissistic.

Thomas and Landon meet at the restaurant. Thomas thinks he’s cool because he ordered the most expensive bottle of wine. They discuss the kids. He talks about Landon’s necklace, and tells her that turquoise is from Turkey. She thinks he’s amazing, but I looked this up, and what he is, is wrong. (See link below.) Landon says that Patricia told her that she should consider Thomas as a suitor. Her turn of phrase reminds me of the first place I lived in NYC. It was a women’s residence – kind of like a dorm – and the ladies who ran it said things like “gentlemen caller” and “beau parlor.” It was like being in a Tennessee Williams play. Landon tells Thomas that it would be good if he was twenty years younger and had no baggage. I choke on my coffee. She says she wishes she wasn’t so concerned about what people think. In his interview, Thomas tells us if he thought that way, he’d never leave the house. He tells a bad joke, and Landon acts like it’s the funniest thing ever. Some drunk lady at the next table tells them that she feels that they’re soulmates. Omg, she’s sloshed, and tells Thomas that he should make out with Landon. Please, not at the table. Please.

Craig and Kathryn are the first to arrive for Shep’s lunch, and they get a table outside. Craig asks when was the last time Kathryn and Cameran talked? Kathryn doesn’t really remember, but she’s glad Cameran agreed to come, since it might be awkward if they run into each other. In her interview, Cameran says she’s anxious and nervous because Kathryn can be unpredictable. Shep says Cameran doesn’t have a leg to stand on, since she and Kathryn have never even had an altercation. Whitney is a different story – we flash back to that. Shep is of the mind that even if there are problems, you smile and say, “good to see you.” We flash back to more Whitney nonsense.

Cameran and Whitney drive to the lunch together. Cameran says it’s an opportunity for Kathryn to prove them wrong, and make the two of them look like a-holes. That shouldn’t be too hard. When they arrive, she hopes Kathryn doesn’t think it’s an ambush. Hugs and air kisses all around. Then silence. Cameran says this is the first time they’ve all been together in a while, and that they support Kathryn, and want her to feel supported, even . Where this is coming from, I have no idea. Kathryn says she appreciates it, and it’s important right now. Whitney says it’s water under the bridge. In her interview, Kathryn says Whitney knew her when, and supported Thomas in her downfall. She thinks he might be feeling guilty.

Cameran asks if she’s finished romantically with Thomas. Kathryn says they haven’t even spoken in a year, and tells them about the letter she wrote to him, saying she’d like to co-parent. She talks about how much better she feels. Cameran says Whitney is in love, and she says with what? – ha-ha! – and he tells her about the new girl in his life. Craig announces that he’s graduated law school. Everyone steers clear of the bar question, but not really, since they say they’re going to steer clear of it.

Austen and Craig go golfing. They decide to make it interesting at twenty bucks a hole. Craig asks about Chelsea. He tells Austen that Naomie says she’s a good old boy in a beautiful woman’s body. In his interview, Austen says Chelsea has been engaged twice, and is skeptical of relationships.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon for a haircut. They talk about the quail hunt. Chelsea says she never went quail hunting before, and loved every second. They talk about dating, and Shep says she must have guys chasing her. She says nobody is chasing her, and Shep asks if she chewed Austen up and spat him out. She says they just have fun together.

Austen tells Craig about Shep saying he broke bro code by dating Chelsea. Craig says there’s nothing there except Shep wanting to conquer. Austen says if Shep makes a move, he’ll know what the score is, and that Shep is no real friend. He doesn’t think Chelsea would go out with him though. Craig tells him about Shep hitting on Naomie. He says the easy answer is that he thinks he’s better than everyone else, but the deeper thought is that he’s insecure and afraid of actually finding his own woman.

Shep asks Chelsea to go for a glass of wine, but she says she’s on the clock. He tells her to clock out.

Nanny Deidre tells Thomas he needs to get serious bout Saint’s birthday party. They discuss the guest list. In his interview, Thomas wishes he had a partner to plan it with, and laments that Saint doesn’t have a mother involved. Well, isn’t that Thomas’s choice? He calls his father, and tells him about the party. His father tells him that he has a dental appointment the same day, and if they pull the tooth, he “ain’t comin’.” Thomas doesn’t seem real happy about that.

Whitney drops by. The nanny takes the children away. Thomas tells Whitney about the party. Whitney asks if he’s inviting Kathryn, and he says he’s giving it some thought. Whitney tells him about the lunch with her, and says she seems to be doing well. Thomas brings up the letter, and Whitney thinks it’s a step forward. He says she seems to want to move on, and perhaps deserves a second chance.

Landon meets Drew for dinner. She gripes about her website. They can’t call it Roam anymore, since it’s a conflict with other websites, and they might get sued. In her interview, Landon says it’s her fault for not doing her homework, but I knew that already. She says that she’s learning so much every day. Like how to tie her shoes and the ABCs. Drew says he was born in 1989, and Landon says she’s old and her eggs are drying up. This woman has no filter. In her interview, she says there’s a void in her life. She tells Drew she wants family life soon. She likes and respects him, and doesn’t want to mislead him. He says he’s not ready for that yet, and she asks if they can still do stuff. She gets all teary, and says that all she wants is someone to walk her dog with her. Good luck with that if you’re going to get all weepy over it. There must be a Facebook group or something for that. I have to admit getting the feels over her talking about her 12-year-old dog.

Kathryn meets Elizabeth (bleh because she’s married to JD) at a coffee/dessert place. They talk about Saint’s birthday, and Elizabeth says they should get a cake. She asks about Thomas, and Kathryn says she wrote to him, but hasn’t heard back. Elizabeth says she has a reply letter for Kathryn, which makes me wonder why she asked, and why she didn’t tell Kathryn that right away. Weird. It’s a pleasant letter, saying blah-blah-blah how he’d like to be friends and wishes her the best. He invites her to the birthday party. She thinks maybe it’s a new beginning, and she’s going in with no expectations. Elizabeth says she hasn’t seen this Kathryn in a while.

Next time, Saint’s first birthday party, Shep tells Chelsea that she’s like a unicorn, and Shep is a no-show to meet Cameran at a property.

A Coupla Things

🍹 I took a look at The Real Housewives of Potomac late last night, and once again was shocked at how unsophisticated this group is. Ashley opened (or got her husband to fund) an Australian themed restaurant – Oz. The menu includes items like kangaroo and emu. Once again, the embarrassing behavior award goes to Gizelle and Robyn. Since this was a restaurant opening event, Ashley gave a little spiel at the beginning. Not only did Robyn have to explain to Gizelle what an emu is, they both made faces about it. While these aren’t things I would normally eat, I wouldn’t act like a five-year-old about it, especially if that’s the fare of the country. Emu was also a thing not all that long ago, being a lean protein. Obviously, these two are uninformed and immature. Karen needs to give them pseudo etiquette lessons. Oh, and I finally realized that Katie is gone from the cast when they had a flashback. Sadly, I hadn’t even noticed.

🍞 Again, not much was going on Sunday night, so I checked out Return to Amish. Rebecca took the test for her GED, but we don’t know if she passed yet. Math really seems to confuse her, but I would assume that the Amish don’t focus a lot on that, especially if you’re female. It’s sad enough that they only think a girl deserves an eighth-grade education, but it’s highly doubtful they encourage any education of females at all, other than cooking and sewing. I was put into advanced math when I was in sixth grade – whether I wanted to be there or not. Although it served me well later in life when I lied finessed my way into accounting jobs after reading Accounting 101. Rebecca also has severe anxiety problems, which explains her reaction, or lack thereof, to many things. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to accomplish this on her own. Even though she had a tutor, she had to be the one to get herself through the process. Jeremiah and Carmella were on the outs at the start of the episode, but had reconciled by the end. Carmella had taken her kids and gone back to Washington, saying that the situation was toxic, and Jeremiah was controlling. This struck me as odd, since they had just started IVF treatments, and Jeremiah was doing a load of work on their new house. Then Jeremiah mentioned Carmella’s hormone treatments, and I was like, ohhh. Her growing up in a cult doesn’t help anything either. We also got Abe’s story this week. While he sometimes seems kitty whipped by Rebecca, I kind of like how he always has her back. He also seems like a great father – we saw a lot of scenes with him and the kids. Of course Mary being his mother makes him a lucky guy, although it was dicey at first when he decided to leave the tribe. Mary told him that it would break her heart, since he’d be shunned, but it looks like they’ve gotten around that. Next time, it’s the season finale (sniff), and the gang heads to Las Vegas, where Mary is going to do what she jolly well pleases. Which I’m sure involves gambling and drinking.

Every man must live with the man he makes of himself. – Amish Proverb

Find Out About Turquoise Here:

http://www.turquoiseguide.com/articles/turquoise/turquoise-basics/name.htm

KittyTurquoise

 

May 26, 2017 – The Nurses Ball Grand Finale, Quotes in Quadruplicate & Memorial Day Musings

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Amy 2.0 hunts down Nathan at Kelly’s. She thanks him for coming to her rescue. He says he didn’t do anything, and compliments her on her vocal talent. She says he did more than he knows.

Lulu sees Valentin and Nina together with Charlotte. She tells Laura that Valentin sings one stupid song, and they’re a happy family again. Laura tells her not to ruin the night. Thank you.

Valentin asks Charlotte which song she liked best, and she says all of them. Nina says she liked Kiki and Dillon’s song best, but Charlotte tells Valentin she’s teasing. Charlotte goes off with the other kids. Nina says it was a rocky start, but a strong finish. Anna watches them.

Andre tells Anna not to do anything rash where Valentin is concerned. She says she may not have a choice.

Jake wants to do his magic act. Elizabeth suggests they do it tomorrow, but he says it has to be now. She asks Lucy to help explain that the ball is over, but Lucy says they still have the room for a while. Jake and the other kids are like, pleeeease? and Jason walks in.

Ava says she doesn’t suppose Sonny and Carly are in the market for some art. Carly says they know what she did to their son.

Amy tells Nathan not every guy would have stepped up to escort her in. Nathan says it wasn’t anything. She thanks him again, and asks if he’s talked to Maxie. He says he tried, but she had a business thing to go to. Amy says Maxie is easily distracted. She talks about how Nathan makes it work, but Maxie doesn’t make much of an effort.

Andre tells Anna that Valentin isn’t entirely innocent, but Anna says he’s not guilty either. Andre asks why she’s always defending him, and she says what other choice did he have? Returning the Chimera to the WSB wasn’t an option; they’d probably have shot him. She says he was desperate and running for his life. Having such a distinctive look, he could have easily been picked off by the WSB. Helena was despicable, but also filthy rich. Anna doesn’t believe Valentin thought Helena would ever activate it, but just use it as leverage, and he was right; she died before using it. Anna says Robert, Frisco, and the WSB are searching and clearing the island, but there’s no guarantee that she left it there.

Valentin says Nina is pulling away again, and asks if it’s Anna. She asks when isn’t it Anna?

Jason asks if Jake changed his mind, and Jake says his mom doesn’t like it. Elizabeth tells Jason that it’s late, and Jake has this tone in his voice; he sounds intense like it’s crucial, and she has a weird feeling. Franco says the Chimera has nothing to do with the magic act, which shows how little he knows. Jason says keep it short; what harm can it do? Emma thinks it’s not looking good for an okay, but Jake says he’s going to finish this tonight.

Ava says she doesn’t know what Sonny and Carly are talking about, and she’s calling the cops. Carly says please do, but Ava doesn’t know what they must have been told. Carly wants to know why, and how could she? She says Lucy told them everything. Ava claims that she and Morgan were back together at the end, so she covered it up. Carly says Morgan died, and it’s on her. Sonny says she tampered with his medication, and Carly adds that she replaced the lithium with placebos, and sabotaged him because of Kiki.

Nathan and Amy have coffee. He says it would be one thing just living across the country, but Maxie is with her daughter and her daughter’s father. Amy says if he really wants her, fight for her

Jason says it’s Elizabeth’s call. She says fine, but if there’s a hint of a problem, they shut it down.

Andre tells Anna that he’s an armchair archaeologist, and knows what a chimera is. He thinks it’s a strange name for bio-toxin, and Anna tells him it’s a hybrid of several different strains and extremely contagious. If it’s released, it will spread like wildfire.

Nina tells Valentin that she knows they’re back on track, and she’s starting to believe him. Charlotte runs in, saying Jake is going to do his magic show, and asks to stay. Valentin says all right, and Nina agrees.

Lucy thanks Laura. They awkwardly almost hug, and end up fist bumping, and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Lulu tells Laura that Jake wants to do his magic act with the birthday gift that Spencer sent to him. Laura says that didn’t happen.

Ava says it was Sonny who was responsible for Morgan’s death. Sonny wants to know what she did and why. Carly says Ava pushed Morgan into a downward spiral to get him away from Kiki. Ava says she wasn’t jealous; she wanted Kiki to be happy. Morgan was sick, and it wreaked havoc with Kiki’s life. She brings up all the dangerous situations that Morgan had put Kiki in, and asks what mother wouldn’t protect her child? Carly tells her that it was Kiki’s choice, but Ava says a mother knows best, and she knew Kiki would be happier, and so would Morgan, if he could let her go. Sonny says she decided to move it along by changing his medication to fake pills, and Ava says she was just protecting her daughter. Carly tells her that she always hides behinds her kids, but it doesn’t absolve her from the choices she’s made, like killing Connie, sleeping with Morgan, and messing with the pills. She tells Ava to own it for once. Sonny tells her to admit that she’s the reason Morgan spun out of control. He screams at her to say it, and she finally says that she did it

Nathan says it’s Amy’s turn to spill her guts. She says there’s nothing to spill. She tells him that there is a guy that she’s liked since high school. She asks if it’s pathetic, and Nathan says she’s committed. I’m thinking she’s probably a size 2, even though she’s supposed to be the “fat” girl. I saw Kathy Brier (Marcie from One Life to Live) in Hairspray on Broadway, and met her afterward. She’s about half my size, and I’m not all that big. I figure I’d take up the entire screen.

Ava says what now, adding that she’s been tortured every moment since. Carly asks if she can imagine what it was like for Morgan. He finally got control, until she rigged the game. She stole his victory from him, and he blamed himself. Sonny and Carly recite things from his journal, like how he couldn’t understand what was happening, and his parents will be disappointed. Carly thought she’d never hate anyone like she did Olivia-J, but she tells Ava that she was wrong.

Laura tells Lulu that Spencer wants to give Jake his present in person, and never mentioned a magic set. Lulu says she doesn’t think she misunderstood.

Charlotte and Emma introduce the Wizard of Awesome – Jake. Charlotte sneezes, and Jake presents lots of handkerchiefs from his pocket. Franco says there’s nothing to worry about, and Elizabeth tells him to say that when it’s over. The girls bring up the box. Jake taps on the box with his magic wand. He sees Helena, who tells him to let the grand finale begin.

Nathan asks Amy about the reunion planning. Amy says she and Dillon have come up with some good ideas. He hopes Maxie can go. He realizes Amy doesn’t like her, but Amy says she knows Nathan does. He tells Amy that Maxie isn’t evil, and Amy says she’s just selfish, like Daisy from The Great Gatsby, and makes comparisons, ending with how she breaks Gatsby’s heart.

Helena makes an okay sign. Elizabeth asks if Jake is okay, since he’s staring off in the distance, and tells him that he can stop. Helena says, you know what you want, and he says he wants to finish. Andre’s phone rings, and he has to leave. Laura looks awful. She can’t stop thinking about Spencer, and has bad feeling, although she’s not sure why. She tells Jason there’s something he should know that could mean something. Spencer didn’t send the magic set, and nobody knows who did.

Ava tells Sonny and Carly that she didn’t want this to happen; she thought it was harmless. Sonny asks in what universe? She says that she thought someone would notice and send him back to the hospital. Sonny says she made it impossible for him to get help; even if he hadn’t died, he wouldn’t have known the pills weren’t real. The doctor would have upped the dosage, and he would have wandered around in a drug induced haze. Carly calls her an evil, horrible person who seduced her son, and when he was finally free of her, she did this to him, someone she supposedly loved. Ava says they can’t make her feel worse than she does already, and Sonny says he doesn’t know about that. She says she cared deeply for Morgan, and was devastated when he died; the guilt was overwhelming. Carly says she persevered – bravo. (Well, actually, that should be brava in this case.)  Carly says that Morgan is dead because of what she set in motion, and it wasn’t a mistake like with her sister. Ava says that he wasn’t supposed to die, and Carly says, but he did, and she has to live with that. Both she and Carly have raccoon eyes.

Amy tells Nathan she’s sorry that she brought up Maxie; Maxie isn’t a flapper, and he’s not a bootlegger. She asks him to watch her stuff while she goes to ladies room. When she’s gone, a guy thanks Nathan for his advice. When he leaves, a woman appears, telling Nathan that he helped her face the truth – Man Landers to the rescue. Nathan is like wth? When Amy returns, he asks when he became Ask Man Landers? He shows her an advice column on his phone that has his picture at the top.

Sonny says he should have killed Ava, and his son would still be alive. Ava says she’s sorry, but Sonny says she doesn’t get to rob Morgan of his life, and rob him and Carly of Morgan, and say sorry. She says she’ll feel how she feels, and Sonny wonders how Avery is going to feel when she finds out, since she loved her big brother. Kiki knows she’s a monster, and now they have more proof. Ava says as punishment, they’re going to turn her daughters against her, but they’ll be the only ones hurt. Sonny says that the truth will set them free. He’s telling whole world, even if he has to sky write it. Carly says Ava is going to pay, and Sonny says if she’s lucky, after everyone has spit on her and turned their backs, he’ll put her out of her misery. Creepy Sonny.

Jason asks if Laura is sure. She says it’s probably nothing, but thought he should know. He starts to say maybe… but doesn’t finish. He flashes back to Helena saying as good as he is, Jake will be… Laura asks if he’s remembering something. Helena tells Jake that it’s time.

Jake says, now, the final trick that none of them could have ever imagined. Helena says it’s the greatest trick of all, and Jake repeats her words. He opens the box. Jason remembers Helena saying that as good as Jason is, Jake will be the greatest killer of them all. Jason tells Jake to stop.

Amy wonders what Nathan is talking about. Nathan tells her about the people who just approached him, and Amy slips, saying that he did some good. Nathan says he recognized the picture in the column from the card that she stole. Amy prefers the word borrowed, and he realizes that this is what she meant when she said helped more than knew. He asks why she’s pretending her advice is his?

Ava says she assumes they’re done here, but Carly says no. She wants to know if it was fun ruining her son’s life, turning him into someone they didn’t recognize, and that he didn’t either; someone he didn’t want to be. He was scared and confused, blaming himself. Carly will never forgive her. Ava says she doesn’t expect her to. Carly tells her to stop with the sorry business. She picked on a kid. Why doesn’t she mess with someone her own size? Ava throws the lantern to the ground, and it explodes in a ball of fire. Carly falls down, unconscious.

Jason tells Jake that it’s time to shut things down; it’s late and they need to go home. Jake sees Helena waiting. Anna comes up to Jason, and Jake holds up the Chimera. Valentin recognizes it, and gets up. Helena says bravo (which is correct this time), and Jake pushes the button, lighting it up. They all freeze.

On Monday, an encore of the “Good-by to Tracy” espisode. On Tuesday, Amy offers to help save Nathan’s marriage, Helena tells Jake to do what he was born to do, and Ava says they’re not going anywhere.

Quotes of the Week

Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story.  Cheryl Strayed

I learned to always take on things I’d never done before. Growth and comfort do not coexist. – Virginia Rometty

Maybe we are another planet’s hell. – Aldous Huxley

That’s not funny.  * No, it’s not, but I’m going to keep drinking until it is. – from This Christmas – I wasn’t looking at the TV, so I don’t know which characters said it, but it was too funny not to write down.

Things to Ponder…

Who just tries the door and walks right in when someone doesn’t answer? Why do Lifetime movies suck you in with a good plot, and then give you a disappointing ending? Even worse, why do I fall for it every time?

Unicorn Rainbows

Unicorn food reminds me of my first job in NYC. I came to work hungover after celebrating…something. It was donut day. They were green and orange. Enough said.

 UnicornScoot

And Remember Why You Get a Day Off
Me·mo·ri·al Day
məˈmôrēəl ˌdā/
noun
a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May.
MemorialDay4

 

May 25, 2017 – Ava is Between Sonny and a Hard Place, a Little Real Estate, a Little Decorating & Some Potomac

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Griff tells Jason that the chimera necklace used to belong to Anna’s sister, and Anna came into possession of it. Jason doesn’t think it’s a coincidence, and that it has to mean something.

Dillon gets a text from Kiki. He wishes she was there.

Nina looks around for Valentin. He’s being harangued by Anna, who asks what he was thinking, selling the Chimera to Helena. (Just in case you’re confused, the word “chimera” isn’t normally capitalized, but I use caps when referring to the WSB project.)

Charlotte tells Emma that maybe the lights are part of the magic trick.

Lucy tells Ava that she needs to present the donation she was blackmailed out of. Ha-ha! At least Lucy is honest about it.

Sonny tells Carly that somebody tampered with Morgan’s medication.

Ned and Olivia-F arrive. She says she kept trying to put her dress on, but he kept trying to take it off, and now they’re late. She thinks they’re too late to even go in, but Ned says she just has stage fright. He calls her his star, and says she’ll be great.

Curtis and Jordan toast. He says he’s glad he planned ahead; he got a room for the night.

Ava says she’s not making the donation in Morgan’s name. Lucy says she has dead air to fill, since Jake isn’t doing his magic act, and Ava is it, but Ava doesn’t want to call attention to herself.

Sonny explains to Carly about the residue from the placebo in Morgan’s pill bottle. He tells Carly that when Morgan said he was taking the medication, he was.

Valentin tells Anna that he was running for his life; he’d stolen classified material – for her. He needed money to pay for his surgeries, and to change his identity, and it gave him perverse pleasure that Helena would be footing the bill. Now she’s dead, and the Chimera isn’t of use to anyone.

Charlotte starts to open the Chimera martini shaker, and Jake stops her, asking what she’s doing.

Ned and Olivia perform Gotta Have Faith, with a jukebox and a 50s vibe. Olivia’s voice is probably one of the best. Why hasn’t she performed before? Love her white cropped jeans with floral patterned heels too. Very nice! After the kudos for their performance, Dillon says he’s glad they came, since he was feeling like the new guy in the cafeteria.

Jordan tells Curtis that they haven’t even discussed what they are yet. He says he can cancel the room, but she says that’s not the point. Curtis says she still doesn’t think he’s good enough for her.

Anna says Valentin could have pointed the WSB in Helena’s direction through an anonymous source. He says after Helena’s death, it was irrelevant, and Anna says nothing is irrelevant. He says he owns Cassadine Island, and gives her permission to search the island, dig up the device, and destroy it. Right now, he’s finding his wife.

Jake says no one is doing his act, and grabs the Chimera back, pushing Charlotte away. Nina asks what’s going on, and Charlotte runs to her. Jake says they shouldn’t have touched it. Lulu comes in and asks what’s going on. Mom Déjà vu.

Anna asks Robert to call her back. She thinks she knows where “the product” is. She asks Andre how much he knows about the Chimera Project, and Elizabeth overhears.

Carly wonders how Morgan’s prescription bottle got to The Floating Rib. Sonny tells her that Lucy was there with Ava that night.

Curtis tells Jordan that he thought things had changed, but there’s no way to prove himself. Jordan says that she sees Thomas when she looks in his eyes. A part of her believes that if she got with Curtis, she’d be betraying Thomas all over again.

Jason asks Anna if it’s her necklace. She says yes, and he asks about the significance. She says no one has clearance to hear anything about it, except kinda, sorta Andre. Jason tells her all about the chimera images that have cropped up, and asks what’s going on. Andre encourages Anna to tell them. She says the Chimera Project is a bio-toxin developed by the WSB, that was illegally sold to Helena. She wonders if Jake saw the symbol on the island. Jason asks where it is now, and Anna says they’re trying to determine that.

Nina comforts Charlotte, telling Lulu it was just a kid spat, and Charlotte is fine. Lulu gets snarky with Nina, saying it’s not her call anymore. Valentin comes in, doing that talking to Charlotte in French thing that I love. He asks if she and Emma like cake, and suggests they go order some, and he’ll be right there. Lulu asks Jake if he’s okay, and says his mom is looking for him. Valentin asks if there’s a problem, and she says none at all. She leaves, and Valentin asks Nina if Lulu was horrible to her, but Nina says just territorial. Nina tells Valentin that his song meant the world to her. He says it was all worth it then.

Sonny hustles Lucy into the hallway. She says she has to get back to hosting the show. He asks what she was doing at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Carly wants to know why she was with Ava. Lucy says she was hoping they wouldn’t have to find this out, but Ava and Morgan were sleeping together again. That’s how Ava ended up with the pills. Sonny is surprised, and Lucy says she caught Ava throwing them away, and pulled them out of the trash. Carly asks when, and Lucy tells her in late October. Sonny says it was after Morgan died. Lucy says she wanted to tell them, but Ava convinced her they’d suffered enough. Sonny says none of this is her fault, and she jets. Carly says it was Ava all along.

Ava goes over her speech. Scotty runs in, and tells her that she has to get out. Sonny knows everything.

Dillon looks for his partner, Deanna, but Kiki shows up instead. She and Dillon go on stage. They perform Modern Love. With lots of back-up dancers.

Nina says she didn’t know Valentin could sing, and he says only for her. He wants to do what it takes to get her to trust him. She says they’ll see how the night goes, and take it from there. They walk off hand in hand. Yay!

Dillon asks Kiki what she’s doing there. She says Deanna covered for her at the hospital. She didn’t want to miss the – Burt’s Bees plug – gift bag. He says he’ll go back with her, and they can watch the end of the show together.

Curtis says Jordan is a good person, but if she can’t get past it, he understands. He gives her the room key and says no pressure, but if she changes her mind, he’ll be waiting. If she’s not there by ten, he’ll figure she’s not interested.

Carly tells Sonny that no way Morgan started up with Ava again. Sonny says she was only covering for having the pills. Carly sees Dillon and Kiki, and tells Sonny that Ava wanted Morgan away from Kiki. Sonny says she drove him to a breakdown.

Scotty tells Ava that she has to get out of town fast. Sonny and Carly start looking for her.

Lucy – in a black dress with faux gems at the neckline and sparkles all over – thanks everyone, and introduces Ava to present her donation, but Ava is MIA. Sonny tells Carly that she knows. Lucy says check will clear no matter what, so give her a big hand.

Sonny grabs Scotty and asks where Ava is. Kiki and Dillon see Ava leaving the building. Ava asks what Kiki doing there. Kiki is surprised that she didn’t see them perform, and asks why Ava is leaving. Ava says there’s a minor emergency at the gallery. She tells Kiki that she couldn’t be prouder of the woman Kiki is becoming, and is relieved she’s happy; it’s all she wanted for her. Kiki says sounds like she’s never going to see her again. They hug. Ava is wearing the best silver/grey glitter eye shadow, and I wish I could pull that off.

Jake puts the Chimera back in the box. Helena appears, calling him “little man,” and says she’s disappointed in him. He didn’t keep his end of the bargain. If she’s just an illusion in his head, at least he dressed her properly for the occasion – she’s wearing gold lame.

Curtis waits, watching TV. He figures Jordan isn’t coming, but when he opens the door, she’s there.

Sonny tells Scotty that Ava killed their son. Carly says she screwed with his pills, and Scotty says that’s crazy talk. He says Ava doesn’t want trouble, and she’s going to disappear for good.

Wherever she is, Ava can’t get the elevator to work. The electricity is out, and she lights a lantern that’s conveniently right there.

Elizabeth asks Jason what if Jake doesn’t get past it? Jason says they won’t let it happen. Franco says none of them will.

Helena tells Jake not to listen to his mother. If it wasn’t for her, he’d be dead. She tells him that he has to perform his magic act, and make all of Port Charles disappear.

Ava finds the bag she stashed. She checks the contents, pulling out a passport and a wad of cash.

Scotty tells Dante that Sonny attacked him, and he wants to file a complaint. Dante leaves with him. Lucy says the time has come for the finale. She thanks everyone, along with – one last plug – Burt’s Bees. She’s wearing an off-the-shoulder white brocade gown that’s just lovely. She welcomes back the nurses, along with a special guest. The stage is lit with electric candles, and Epiphany begins Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. I love Epiphany. She’s fabulous in general, but she’s rocking this song. Robin drops in on video, explaining why she’s not there. She’s expecting her second child, and says that’s how far we’ve come. She didn’t think she’d even be alive at this point, but thanks to research, dedication, and donations, she’s alive, and they’ll find a cure. The song resumes. Everyone has a candle, including the guests.

Kiki and Dillon watch from the hospital TV. Curtis and Jordan get busy. Ava packs a gun. Uh-oh. Sonny and Carly walk in. I’d shoot them both and run.

At the end of the song, everybody raises their candles.

Jake comes back into the ballroom. He tells Elizabeth that he’s ready to do his magic trick now. You’re a little late, kid.

On Monday, Laura tells Lulu that it didn’t happen, Carly shakes down Ava, and Elizabeth tells Jason there’s a problem.

🏙 Million Dollar Listing New York is back for another season. Ryan has a beard, and Amelia’s sister has moved in with them. Frederik says the house in Connecticut has been life-changing, and he’s started to go to church, but wants us to know that when it comes to business, he’s still fierce. Luis has moved on from real estate, and new guy, Steve, used to be a model. Frederik wants Steve to work for him, and Steve says, love you, but not that much. Steve also has a rescue pup from Georgia. The highlight for me was a property in Brooklyn that Ryan sold. It was built in 1905, and I nearly cried over it. The house had all kinds of interesting built-ins, a footbath in the bathroom, and a bathtub in a closet. And did I mention that it was 10,000 square feet? I wouldn’t want to clean it, but I wouldn’t mind owning it. If I could afford that, I could afford to have someone else clean it. I was surprised to find out that Frederik has a boss, since I’d thought he worked on his own. I like Frederik a lot, but I wish he’d stop with the juvenile noises and high kicks. We’re both getting too old for that. Glad to see the NYC realtors back. If I can’t have it, I can at least look at it.

🏯 Cyrus vs Cyrus: Design and Conquer premiered tonight. Among their many talents, Miley’s sisters are interior designers. I’m not sure if I can watch two women who are wearing Miley’s face. I don’t even want to see Miley’s face on Miley. They do some beautiful work, but apparently have never heard of Wayfair. Nobody needs to be spending $400 for a pouf. When the children of the redesigned home were asked what their favorite thing was, one little girl said, “the camera,” which says it all about the upcoming generation.

🏛 I dropped in on The Real Housewives of Potomac last night, since I’d only half-watched the episode last Sunday. I’m not really sure what to say about these women. For a bunch of people who pretend to be so sophisticated, they’re about as far from it as oil is to water. Robyn and Gizelle showed up at Ashley’s restaurant to confront her about some slight, and Robyn kept shoving her finger in Ashley’s face during her tirade. She looked like an amazon next to Ashley, and actually had to point down to get her hand to Ashley’s head. To her credit, Ashley maintained her composure, but I would have smacked Robyn’s hand so hard, she would have hit herself in the face. I’d never even heard of any of these women before the show, and I’m not sure where their sense of entitlement comes from. Especially Robyn, who can’t even figure out if she’s married or divorced. Charisse also acted like a complete ass, looking up in the air and ignoring her when Ashley tried to be polite at an event they were all attending. She’s also an indecisive one when it comes to her marriage, and I had to laugh when her husband finally filed for divorce. I’m hoping she gets less than nothing, since she was only their to suck his finances dry anyway. Gizelle might be beautiful, but she’s another embarrassment. When newcomer Monique held her phone out to get Gizelle’s phone number, Gizelle acted like this was some huge faux pas, and refused to take the phone, saying maybe some other time. How about never? Is never good for you? Oddly enough, Karen was the only one who came out looking good in this episode. Sadly, because she gave a talk about having been raped. While I might wish a lot of horrible things on this bunch, that’s something I wish on no one.

MillionDollarListingSteve&Dog

Steve Gold and pup Pablo

May 24, 2017 – Don’t Touch the Chimera, NYC Returns to the Berkshires & Two Times the Andy

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny arrives at the Nurses Ball, and Ava wants to jet. He asks why she’s leaving when the party just started.

Lulu asks Josslyn if she’s nervous. She says she is, but keeps reminding herself it’s for a worthy cause. She thought that Carly had said Sonny wasn’t coming, and Carly says he must have changed his mind.

Jason finds the chimera necklace on the floor. Anna accosts Valentin about the Chimera Project. He sees Nina hug Curtis.

Charlotte asks if the Chimera martini shaker is part of the act. and what does it do?  Jake says it’s powerful magic. He tells Charlotte that it’s a surprise, and not to touch it.

In the hospital, Nelle stirs. Kiki asks if she needs anything. Barely conscious, Nelle says, Michael.

Sonny says he has a problem with everything Ava does, and a big one with what she did to Morgan. Scotty comes to her rescue, and escorts her back to the table. Dante asks Sonny what that was about.

Lulu tells Laura that Charlotte is going to be one of Jake’s assistants.

Vaelentin tells Anna that the Chimera is gathering dust where it’s not a threat. Anna, on the other hand, has been one to his marriage and his life. He slides into the seat next to Nina while Lucy talks.

Sam asks Jason what’s wrong, and he shows her the necklace.

Lucy asks if we’re ready for female trouble with a capital T. Emma, Valerie, Amy 2.0 and Kristina perform Brave. Emma is quite a young lady now. I can’t help wondering when they all practiced, especially Emma. It’s a hit. Lucy encourages everyone to bid in the silent auction.

Bobbie sits at Carly’s table. She’s surprised about Sonny showing up, but Carly says the cause is important to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Morgan is gone, and Ava is trading on his name to make herself look good.

Kiki calls Michael. She says she needs to talk to his grandmother. Nelle is doing okay, but could use a friend.

Jason asks Sam if she really thinks it’s a coincidence. Sam wonders if Jake brought it, and Jason says, who else? Who else, indeed. Like any one of five people.

Emma and Charlotte wonder how they can assist, when they can’t even touch the magic trick. Jake says no one else knows how the magic works – only him.

Anna calls Robert, and tells him how proud she is of Emma. She’s not calling about that though. She asks what the Chimera actually does. After he tells her (we don’t hear it), she wonders how it ever got created in the first place.

Valentin asks if Nina is going to ignore him. Curtis thinks he should go back to his own table. Valentin says not without his wife, and begs Nina not to shut him out.

Anna approaches Andre. He says he’s having a good time, and wants to keep it that way. She explains that the person who offended him was her sister.

Nina tells Valentin that she has nothing to say. Valentin says she’s right, the time for talking is over. He gets up.

Valentin goes to Lucy’s dressing room. She says she’s happy about his donation, but it doesn’t cancel out that he shot Doc. He says he wants to up his donation to seven figures. Lucy asks him in exchange for what?

Sonny isn’t going to stop until he finds out how Morgan died. Dante says they know. Sonny says explain the pills then, and tells him about the dosage difference. He says Andre checked with the pharmacy, and Morgan was given the correct dosage. He’s going to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Andre calls the lab.

Valerie forgot her lipstick, and Kristina gives her a commercial for Burt’s Bees. Valerie says it’s perfect, and Kristina says it moisturizes as well. It is nice stuff.

Jason asks Elizabeth where Jake is. He shows her the necklace. Elizabeth wonders if someone gave it to him. No, he bought it himself. Geez. Jake asks what’s going on, and if they’re talking about him.

Valerie asks Jordan and Curtis if they’re enjoying the night, and Jordan compliments her on her performance. When she’s gone, Curtis tells Jordan that’s one way to show you’ve moved on. He tells Nina he hopes she took notes, because she needs to move on from Valentin. She’s not sure she wants to.

Lucy says Obrecht is unable to perform. We hear something that sounds like a bunch of pots and pans clattering backstage. She says they have someone just as rich…er, good. Valentin says this is for his wife, because he loves her. He sits at the piano. She’s mesmerized, and so am I. I can’t tell if it’s really him playing, but if not, they did a nice job with editing that. He sings Billy Joel’s And So It Goes. If Nina doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. Lucy introduces Valentin after the fact, and thanks him. Her dresses are fantastic – kind of nude, with lots of sparkles in strategic places. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Anna leaves, and Nina tries to follow. Curtis stops her, and tells her not to do this to herself; it’s not worth it. Anna asks Valentin to tell her what she needs to know.

Lulu (whose dress matches Charlotte’s) asks if Charlotte isn’t going to get ready, but she doesn’t think there’s going to be an act. Jason asks Jake if he’s seen the necklace before. He asks if it’s Jake’s, but Jake doesn’t say anything. He tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t feel good. Elizabeth asks if he just has stage fright, and Franco offers to go on stage with him. Elizabeth tells him that he doesn’t have to do what he doesn’t want to.

Dante tells Sonny that he has to talk to Ava and Lucy again. Sonny asks why Dante didn’t tell him that Ava was at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Dante says it could be a coincidence.

Carly wonders where Michael is. Josslyn tells her that Michael said something came up, and left. She jets before Carly can ask what came up.

Michael is at the hospital. Kiki tells him that Nelle asked for him. He pulls a chair next to her bed.

Dante says that when Ava’s name is mentioned, Sonny gets reckless. He suggests that Sonny and Ava stay away from each other. Sonny tells Dante he’ll be fine, and Lulu is probably wondering what happened to him. Dante goes back to his table, and Andre tells Sonny that there’s trace evidence of an inert substance in the pill bottle. It’s possible that the crumbled pill was a placebo. We won’t go over all the reasons that’s not how any of this works.

Valentin tells Anna, don’t. He says she and her sister have jeopardized everything he loves. Even worse, he let her, reverting back to what he was, a stuttering Richard III hunchback. He says the only things that matter are his wife and daughter, and if he ever mattered to her, let him alone.

Jake asks if Elizabeth is sure that he doesn’t have to perform; what I something bad happens? Elizabeth says the worst that can happen is they leave early, and everyone is cool with that. Jake is like, okay, no magic show.

Carly wonders what Sonny is doing there, and what he wanted with Ava. I’m totally distracted by Ava’s earrings; I want them so much.

Sonny says, Morgan was taking a placebo? and Andre says that would explain things. Sonny says someone set him up, tampering with his medication so he’d have a breakdown. And he’s going to find out who.

Ava is worried, but Scotty says he covered her tracks. No way is Sonny finding out.

Lucy says it’s a special thrill to introduce a newcomer.

Michael’s phone rings. He asks if it’s time. Josslyn asks why he thought it was a good idea. He tells her that his little sister is a rock star, and he wants everyone to know. He says he’s with her, and so is Nelle.

Lucy introduces Josslyn. Michael puts the phone on speaker. I don’t know the song (and couldn’t find it on Google), but the crowd goes wild. Sonny and Carly give each other a soap opera stare.

Franco says maybe Jake could perform at home. Elizabeth asks where the magic box is.

Charlotte says perhaps she and Emma can do the magic act. They open the box. She says they’ll start with the Chimera martini shaker.

Jason tells Sam that he didn’t like Jake’s reaction to the necklace. Sam wants to go home, but tells him to stay. Griff comes by, and asks if he’s seen Emma. He asks what Jason is doing with Anna’s necklace.

Anna says she understands that Valentin wants to leave past behind, but they’re jeopardizing the people they love. He tells her that the only person who knows about it, is dead. She asks who it is, and he says he sold it to Helena. Like this is a huge surprise.

Charlotte doesn’t know how to open the Chimera. She presses a button on it, and blue lights start flashing.

Nelle says that Michael missed Josslyn’s performance, but he says he just listened to it. He tells her that Josslyn backed him up in coming there.

Ava tells Scotty that she never meant for anything bad to happen; she just did it to protect Kiki. Scotty says doesn’t matter. Morgan is dead. Case closed.

Carly asks Sonny why he’s there. He tells her that he finally has answers about Morgan.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Valentin asks Lulu if there’s a problem, Scotty says Ava has to get out, Anna calls Robert, and Jake tries to stop the Chimera. I’m guessing that Obrecht is going to free herself from whatever closet Lucy and Valentin trapped her in, and it’s going to go off during her performance. Along with Lucy’s clothes coming off.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona is downtown. Carole’s kittens hang from the curtains. Dorinda is packing for the Berkshires.

Bethenny meets with her real estate guy, Frederik Eklund. (Million Dollar Listing: New York premieres tomorrow.) He’s checking out the apartment that she’s getting ready to sell, and she says it’s bittersweet. Frederik lusts after her shoe collection. Me too. And the humongous closet the shoes are in. Frederick tells her they need to de-clutter de-personalize.

Ramona drops by Carole’s place. She starts moving things around on the coffee table, and critiquing Carole’s way of placing things. I’d smack her. They talk about Dorinda’s party, and Luann’s upcoming wedding. Carole says Tom acts more like the bride than Luann.

While walking the dog, Tom and Luann discuss a honeymoon. She suggests South Africa. In her interview, Luann says she loves being married. She’s trying to get used to saying “our” again. Tom complains about gaining weight.

Carole tells Ramona that she thinks Luann is having second thoughts. She says that someone told her that all is not as it seems. We revisit the scene where Barbara is telling Carole that she thinks Luann would rather go through with it and get divorced later. Which, btw, Barbara is seriously miffed about, since she claims she didn’t know it would be on the show. Please. Barbara must be a full-blown idiot. Carole says maybe Luann is just having last minute jitters, but thinks the conversation should be had. Ramona says that she got a text from someone who used to date Tom, and he recently tried to be sexually aggressive with her. She called Tom a “dirty dog,” and said she didn’t think she was the only one he’s groping. Carole wonders if Luann cares. Ramona asks if they’re bad friends if they don’t tell her – or if they do tell her. She reminds Carole about what happened in Miami. We flash back to that, and she says it’s not just one kiss. Carole says maybe Luann is confiding in Dorinda, and Ramona thinks they should talk to her.

It’s Christmas in the Berkshires again. Dorinda messes with some giant balls (hush) that light up. We flash back to the last holiday dinner there, when Dorinda made it nice. She’s going to be more strategic this time, and invite the women in different groups over the course of three days. And yes, Sonja is invited this year.

Sonja thinks she’s cool because she’s in the first group and “invited early.” She arrives with Ramona. Tinsley is also coming after meeting her mother for lunch.

Tinsley’s mother asks if she’s happy in NYC. She’s brought Tinsley’s father’s ashes because she’s taking them to Florida, and Tinsley might want to say good-by. I would have hoped Tinsley had done that already, since he’s been gone for two years. Tinsley gets a drink from the mini-bar. She talks about her mother’s hugs being relative to her weight as a child, and in her interview, says that Southern mothers are particularly critical of their children. They talk about Sonja. Tinsley’s mother hopes Tinsley is appreciative, since Tinsley is sponging off of her.

Sonja complains about Tinsley not making coffee and excluding her when she goes out. Dorinda says she knows a lot about Tinsley’s past, but not who she is today. She thinks Tinsley needs to open up, and hopes over time that she trusts them more.

Tinsley’s mom wants her to have a baby, but Tinsley says she’s not just going to pluck some random guy out. They talk about Tinsley’s dating life.

Dorinda wants the girls to help decorate. She takes her tree seriously, and says it’s a religion. She gives detailed instructions on how the lights should be placed.

Adam’s parents, David and Lola, are in town, and Carole is accompanying them to find Christmas presents for Adam. In her interview, Carole says it didn’t take her two minutes to win Lola over, and parents love her. She says they want grandkids, and Adam wants kids, but she’s not going to be the one having them, since she’s 200 years old. She says what it means for the relationship is still to be determined. David acts exhausted, even though he hasn’t done anything except go along for the ride.

Tinsley gets to the Berkshires. In her interview, she says her mother told her you can never have enough Christmas decorations, but she thinks Dorinda is secretly Mrs. Claus. She does have a lot of them. Sonja picks on Tinsley for having lunch elsewhere. Tinsley keeps explaining that it was her mother.

It’s Dorinda’s birthday. She wants to show Tinsley her cake, but even though it says, “open here,” it’s the wrong side, and the cake has toppled. Dorinda says, enough wine, and the cake will be beautiful. Amen, sister!

Bethenny tells the driver no hookers, because they might have to peel out at midnight. She and Carole act like five-year-olds walking in, but Carole says she thinks the third time is the charm. Dennis has sent Bethenny flowers at Dorinda’s because he knows she needs floral therapy in the Berkshires. She’s just hoping Ramona leaves her alone.

Carole talks to Bethenny alone about Luann. Bethenny wonders if there’s any way they can get her out of it. Luann obviously doesn’t care or doesn’t want to know, so I’m not sure why these women keep wanting to get involved. Unless Andy Cohen is standing there with a pitchfork. I used to think Jeff Probst was the antichrist until Andy came along.

Bethenny says it was reliable information last year, and the same source has it that Tom is straying again. Carole says Bethenny is like the cautionary tale for a whirlwind romance. Bethenny agrees, but says hers wasn’t as bad at this point in time. Bethenny wants to be on a group tag team to tell Luann, as she was on her own in Miami.

Omg, Dorinda has a fat little dog named Lucy who is just precious. The ladies mess with the fireplace, and try to burn down Dorinda’s house by not opening the flue. They sit down for drinks, and Dorinda says that Luann is rock solid about getting married. Carole says she’s heard differently. Ramona says she doesn’t want Luann to be the last to know. In her interview, Dorinda wishes they could talk about someone else. Ramona reads the texts she received. Dorinda hopes they’re taking it the wrong way. Bethenny says the cracks become craters. She says her situation didn’t even start the same way, and look how it ended up. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t want to hear it, but now she’s obligated to say something, so Luann can either leave, stay, or shoot someone. She asks the other women to be with her because she’s afraid.

Dorinda thinks all she’ll get is anger, but Carole says she’s being a good friend. Luann arrives while the ladies are setting out the materials for cookie decorating. Bethenny asks about Luann’s dress, and if she’s all set. Luann talks to Tinsley about finding her own place. Tinsley says Sonja talks smack behind her back, and Luann says welcome to the club. Tinsley tells the ladies that she can’t even talk to Sonja’s assistant without it being a problem. Sonja says she can’t have him doing errands, and she has to treat him professionally. Tinsley claims that she only asked him once to take a package for her. Ramona tells her to face it, she can’t do anything right. Sonja makes up stupid scenarios that could have happened if her assistant dared open the door for Tinsley’s delivery. No way would I live with this woman. No wonder Tinsley ditches her.

Bethenny tells Carole that she’s glad Ramona is keeping her distance. She thinks everyone told Ramona how foolish she looked, and she’s trying to make up for it.

In private, Dorinda tells Luann the saga continues. She asks if Luann is happy, and if she believes Tom is done with other women. She tells Luann about the texts, and says she wanted to come to her directly. She asks if Luann trusts Tom. Luann says she trusts him 100%. She says they don’t check each other’s phones, and Dorinda admits to checking John’s phone, as well she should. Luann says she doesn’t care what anyone says. Dorinda tells her that as long as she doesn’t feel like she’s being pressured, it’s all good. In her interview, Dorinda says at the end of the day, it’s Luann that has to handle this. Luann wonders if the women don’t have anything better to do, and thinks they’re talking about her because they’re missing something in their own lives.

Luann tells Dorinda that Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends, trying to dig up dirt, and poof! Ramona appears.

Next time, two weeks until the wedding, Carole wonders why all these women want to kiss Tom, Bethenny refuses to make a toast, and Ramona and Bethenny have it out.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1990. George Michael’s Freedom video, supermodels, Vogue! The Fly Girls (whose inspiration was part hip-hop, part Ann Margaret), Nelson Mandela’s release, more realistic family sitcoms, Married with Children and Terry Rakolta, Twin Peaks, the first war live on TV (the Gulf War), Home Alone, and Sinead O’Connor shaving her head. The twist on this retrospective show, is that all of the main topics covered are tied to how they’ve influenced today. I like this show almost as much as CNN’s decades series. The biggest revelation this evening? RuPaul finds Ed O’Neill sexy.

🏖 Watch What Happens Live has been blessed with a few of the Beverly Hills Wives stopping by since they’re filming in LA this week. Lisa Vanderpump stopped by the other night with a batch of puppies and I almost passed out. Erika Jayne  dropped in tonight, and Kyle Richards also did a bit with Andy at the beginning of the show. Guest Bethenny Frankel was a hoot, spilling the tea where she could, and joining her, Eric Stonestreet was just delightful. James Kennedy (Vanderpump Rules) has been the house DJ, and Andy brought along the Gay Shark, who has acquired rainbow swim trunks for his trip to the West Coast. Tomorrow, Chelsea Handler is on. I’ll be watching, but she’s not a favorite of mine. I liked her original show when it first aired, but I saw her change over time, becoming more mean than funny. God forgive me, but I was glad when she cried over Hillary losing the election.

 

May 23, 2017 – The Ball Begins, Travis Menaces Kelly, the Anchor Tangles & a Phantom of the Paradise Flashback

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Mario Lopez is coming to us live from the red carpet, along with Nina.

Sam asks Jason what’s going on; he hasn’t been the same since the nightmare. He doesn’t get a chance to answer, since Jake arrives with Elizabeth and Franco. He pulls a billion silk scarves from his pocket.

Ava hauls out the giant check. Scotty says she’s just trying to assuage her guilt for what she did to Morgan.

Michael stops by Sonny’s house to drop off Morgan’s journal. He thinks it stinks that Sonny and Carly can’t even be in the same ballroom together.

Carly tells Bobbie about catching Sonny with Martina. Bobbie suggests stringing Sonny up by his cummerbund, but Carly says Sonny isn’t coming to the ball. A year ago, they had so much to look forward to, and now look.

Michael tries to talk Sonny into going to the ball, but it’s a no. He asks why Sonny wanted Morgan’s journal.

Valentin arrives with his date, Charlotte. Nina doesn’t bat an eye when Mario introduces him as her husband, and takes Charlotte to pose for the paparazzi. Valentin tells Nina she looks beautiful, and Charlotte says she misses her. Nina makes the excuse of having a lot of work. Charlotte says Lulu picked out her dress, and Nina suggests thanking her. Valentin asks what he can do to make things right, but Nina says there’s nothing. He should have put his family first. He says Anna will never come between them again, and begs Nina to come back. Anna arrives with Emma and Felicia.

Michael talks to Sonny about Morgan being fine last year. He wonders what happened, and thinks about it all the time. He asks what sent Morgan off the rails, but Sonny doesn’t know, and doesn’t know if he’ll ever find out.

Scotty tells Ava that’s a hefty amount, and Ava sys Lucy put the squeeze on her. Lucy floats by, and Scotty gives her flowers from him and Serena. Ava asks if they’re all set for tonight, and Lucy says everyone got the memo that her donation is in memory of Morgan.

Carly tells Bobbie that she feels sorry for Sonny. Bobbie does too – in this one isolated department. Carly says they’re trying to understand why, and Bobbie wishes she had the answer. She says there’s still life to be lived and people to be loved though. They hug. Josslyn walks in and joins them. Bobbie says, opening number, here she comes; and the three of them leave for the ball, arm in arm.

Nina ditches Valentin. She emphasizes that Anna is with her granddaughter. Emma gives a shout out to Robin, who’s at home with her feet up. Griff joins them. Charlotte talks to Emma, who suggests she can be a magician’s assistant too.

Jake goes in to put some finishing touches on his act. Jason seems troubled, or as Sam puts it, weird. He says it felt like more than a nightmare. Helena took everything he loved away from him, and he can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

Charlotte goes backstage with Emma. Griff asks Anna what’s up with her and Valentin, and why would she want anything else to do with him. She says because of this, and shows him the necklace.

Jason tells Sam there’s a lot he still doesn’t remember. He wonders why Helena would still be in his head.

Nina introduces Franco, Elizabeth and Jake. Franco says the Nurses Ball isn’t going to know what hit it. I’ll bet. Epiphany and Felix are next, followed by Amy 2.0. Nathan rescues her from answering questions. Mario asks where Maxie is, and Nathan says she’s working. The Queen of the Nurses Ball graces the red carpet – Lucy.

Scotty asks Ava if she’s flaunting her affair with Morgan. She says it’s a gesture, and he suggests it might offend Morgan’s parents with a public reminder of what happened. He tells her not to do it.

Sonny tells Michael he’s going to try and piece together what Morgan did, and why. Michael tells him good luck. Sonny sits down with the journal. After reading something, he picks up the phone and says he needs to see someone right away. It’s about Morgan.

Jason and Sam walk the carpet. They talk about Scout. Amy II thanks Nathan for saving her, and tells him sorry Maxie couldn’t make it. She talks about working a lot, and he asks if she has another job, but she gets whisked away before she can answer. Nina asks Nathan how she’s supposed to trust Valentin again.

Charlotte asks Jake if she can be in the magic show, and he says okay. Anna explains what a chimera is to Griff. She says it was also the name of a WSB project, and tells him about Alex. Griff asks why Anna is involved, and she says the Chimera is out there somewhere, waiting to be unleashed.

Michael joins Bobbie and Carly. He asks Bobbie about Nelle, and Josslyn is surprised that she’s in the hospital.

Andre arrives at Sonny’s house. Sonny points out the difference in the dosages that Morgan should have been taking and what’s on the bottle. Andre says he noticed, but wanted to be absolutely sure before opening old wounds. Sonny says he doesn’t want Carly to know anything until it’s concrete. Andre tells him that the pharmacy dispensed 600 mg to Morgan, and has no idea why the pills were 300 mg. Sonny asks if it would have made that radical of a difference, and Andre says the only way Morgan could have veered that far off course is if he wasn’t taking lithium at all.

Griff tells Anna to call Robert, but she doesn’t think he’d make any progress. He suggests she at least wait. Jason asks Elizabeth about Jake, and she says he’s back to his old self. Sam asks if Jason feels any better, but he says no.

Jake tells the girls that the magic set was a birthday gift from Spencer. Emma tells Jake that Spencer was saving the gift for when he saw him, and it’s not a magic set. Ruh-roh!

Jordan and Curtis are approached by a reporter whose name is Pinacchio, and I wonder if that’s supposed to be a joke. Curtis tells him that the ball is going to be full of surprises.

Ava tells Lucy she’s taking her advice and leaving Morgan out of the donation. Lucy says Scotty must have had something to do with it, and he says she can thank him later. Lucy says Ava is selfish, and she’s surprised he’s thrown in with her. He says she’s the one who blackmailed Ava. Lucy says that was for a good cause, and hopes Sonny skewers her, but she’s glad it’s not going to be tonight.

Bobbie tells Josslyn what happened to Nelle, and that Nelle’s kidney was bruised, but she should be fine. They go inside.

Sonny dumps the pills out of the bottle, and asks Andre if he’s sure. Andre says it’s the only explanation that makes any sense. Sonny says he trusts the journal 100% and Andre agrees. Sonny says Morgan wrote that he was taking the medication. He looks into the empty bottle and says, what’s that?

Carly and crew enter the carpet area. Nina asks about Sonny. Carly says he couldn’t make it, but wants everyone to know that the fight against HIV/AIDS is dear to his heart. Carly asks Bobbie about Nelle, but she says tonight is about fun.

Sonny says there’s powder, like a pill broke or crumbled. He tastes it, and says there’s something else in the vial. Andre takes it to have it tested.

Mario interviews total strangers. Sonny sits down to watch. Scotty and Ava are up next. Mario says that Sonny and Carly must be moved by the donation she made in memory of Morgan. Anna drops the necklace going in.

Lucy starts the show. She says it’s not about the glitz and glamour, or her ending up in her underwear, which is not going to happen this year. She gives a shout out to this year’s sponsor, Burt’s Bees, and tells us that the first Nurses Ball was 23 years ago. Lucy says that the key word is nurses, who are the heart and soul of the hospital. She suggests we see what they’re up to tonight, and the curtain opens. We see a screen with the opening number filmed in the hospital. I’m confused, especially when they end up on the stage, since the ball is supposed to be at the MetroCourt. Okay. Suspension of disbelief happening.

Jake tells the girls not to tell anyone and ruin the surprise. Sam tells Jason to stop focusing on his dream. He asks how she’s doing, and she’s good. She tells him to get himself a scotch. Lucy reminds everyone that they’re at the ball to make donations. Jake says the big finale is the most important part. He says it’s all about this, and shows them the Chimera martini shaker.

Anna wants to talk to Valentin. He tells her to talk to her sister. Anna says Alex can’t help, but he can. She asks him to put aside his justifiable anger, and do the right thing. Jason sees the necklace on the floor.

Michael tells Carly that she and Sonny aren’t as far apart as they think they are. He wants her to admit she misses him. Ava is annoyed about the reporter saying something about Morgan. She says it’s going to be all over everywhere. Scotty doesn’t think Sonny will be able to follow the breadcrumbs. Maybe. Maybe not. But he’s here.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Nelle asks for Michael, Anna wants to know where the Chimera is, Jake tells Emma not to touch it, and Andre checks on the pill bottle test.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we last left, Travis had flattened Kelly’s tire and hid in her car trunk. When she went looking for the spare, he popped out of the trunk and wrestled her to the ground.

Travis asks Kelly why she went to the cops. Like she can talk with his hand over her mouth. He says she doesn’t know him, and starts to choke her. Kelly whacks him with something and runs, but he tackles her. He tries to choke her again on someone’s front lawn. Where is everybody? She keeps trying to yell for someone to call 911. If nothing else, Travis is a bold one. Kelly tells him she’s sorry. She says she can’t breathe, and he says good, which isn’t a positive sign. She loses consciousness, and Travis asks if she’s dead. He feels for a pulse and says she is, but I have my doubts. Mostly because Travis is such an idiot, he probably doesn’t even know what a pulse is.

Travis laughs to himself. A woman with a gun appears, and says she’s calling the police. Travis claims Kelly has passed out, and tells her to call an ambulance. The woman says she saw him attacking her, but he insists he was helping. He pretends to do CPR, and Kelly comes to. He tells her, you’ve lived to see another day, bitch.

The amazing Lushion tells the kids to keep the noise down and let Natalie sleep; she’s exhausted after finding out about Joey. Pete calls to ask if there’s any word on Andrew. Lushion says if there is, he’ll let Pete know. He asks if Pete talked to the FBI. Pete says he gave a full statement, and they’re picking Eddie up after they move Pete. Lushion asks if Pete is worried. I would be. Pete says he just doesn’t know where his life is going. Lushion calls him a good kid, and says he has a great future ahead. Yeah, if Eddie doesn’t get to him first. Lushion says Pete is going to see him sooner than he thinks, and he’ll call later.

Esperanza wonders what’s taking Kelly so long. The kids go in the backyard to play on the swings. Lushion comes by. Esperanza wants to see the new house, and asks about Natalie. He says she’s asleep; it’s been a long day. Esperanza says not as long as it is for Kelly. She tells Lushion that his boy DION – finally, a name! – keeps saying it’s Kelly causing problems, when Travis is the one harassing her.

Lushion tells Esperanza that Andrew is missing, and he thinks Alex knows something about it. Esperanza asks if he thinks Alex’s parents had something to do with it, but he doesn’t know. He tells her to talk to Alex, but not let on that he’s the one who asked. He asks if Esperanza can also get the girls together to come over to cheer Natalie up. He tells her that Joey is in jail for violating probation; he’s in the prison hospital. Geez. If you think your life is bad, just watch an episode of this show.

Somehow, Kelly gets back home. Why isn’t she at the police station? What about the witness? Esperanza asks what happened to her. Kelly starts to cry, and tells her about Travis being in the trunk of her car. She asks where Justice is, and says she doesn’t want him to see her like this. Esperanza takes her inside. She takes pictures, and asks if Kelly called the police, but Kelly says they won’t believe her. Esperanza calls Lushion and asks him to come over. She gets Kelly some water, and I wonder what she charges for a full glass.

Lushion comes in, and Kelly explains what happened with Travis. He says Travis has gone way too far. Esperanza says none of the officers are doing anything. Lushion says he’s getting involved, but Kelly is afraid it will make Travis crazier. Lushion says he’s right next door, but Kelly is worried about what happens when he’s not there. Lushion says when he’s done with Travis, he won’t be bothering her again. He knows how to deal with these guys.

Lushion goes to the station. He asks Dion what he’s doing about Travis, and says he was in Kelly’s trunk. Dion shows him the texts, and Lushion says something isn’t right. Dion thinks that Kelly and Travis are both crazy and wasting his time. Lushion says that Kelly had marks from Travis choking her, and to just bring him in for questioning. Dion says that Travis is from a prominent family, and he doesn’t trust Kelly. Okay, he’s back on my jerkface list. Lushion calls for Steven, but Steven says there’s nothing he can do. Lushion is worried that Travis is going to kill Kelly, but Steven says sorry. He asks Lushion if he told Pete to talk to the FBI. Lushion says that he did, and Steven says he told him to wait. They haven’t gotten Escada yet. He says he’s getting enough heat from upstairs, and just slow down a little. Lushion says he wants Travis brought in. Steven says he can’t, and Lushion says then he will. He’ll make it federal. Steven says Eddie is already on to him, but our beloved Lushion is willing to take the chance. Steven says he’ll bring Travis in.

A-hole Eddie tells Lushion that word on the street is, he’s a baby daddy. He tells Eddie to get out of his face and get the real info. Eddie calls him a bitch, and says he can’t wait until Lushion’s world crumbles around him. Lushion says he has a bitch for Eddie all right.

Lushion goes back to Kelly’s house. He says Travis is nowhere to be found, but there’s a warrant out for his arrest. He tells her forget Dion and Rick, he went over their heads. He says if she needs anything, to call him. He reminds them about the get-together for Natalie.

Esperanza tells Kelly about cheering Natalie up, and asks if she can come. Kelly says it’s not like she has anything else going on. She says it’s hard going into that house and not thinking about Ramses, but Esperanza says maybe they’ve changed things around. Kelly says he was so sweet. She thinks Travis did something to him. He has everybody fooled, but Esperanza says not her and Lushion. She suggests Kelly spend the night at her place, but Kelly doesn’t want to be forced out of her own house. She says his ass better not come back. She says Lushion is also right next door. Esperanza doesn’t like it, but she has to go. Kelly locks the door behind her.

Alex sees a car outside. She goes out to find Brad sitting in the driveway. He says he didn’t know she was home, since there’s no car. She says she had a wreck, and asks if he wants to come in. When he doesn’t, she asks to join him, and gets in the passenger seat. He asks about the baby, and she says that he’s been put into foster care because of her parents. Brad says, sorry to hear that, and she tells him that Randal had a court hearing for custody. The judge almost granted it to him, so she threw a Hail Mary and said he wasn’t the father, but he is. She says all she did was postpone the inevitable. Alex asks why Brad is there, but he doesn’t know. He asks if that’s why Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s, and tells her about Randal’s visit to his office. She calls Randal a bastard. She tells him that Lushion came over to borrow a candle, and Randal saw him. She talks about how nice it is to have them in the neighborhood, but that she has to straighten things out, and already spoke with Natalie. Brad says Eddie knows, and Alex says great, another excuse for him to hate her. Brad says he still loves her (Brad does, not Eddie), but he’s scared. He doesn’t think he could go through that again, and Alex says it will never happen again. Brad doesn’t think he could live with the baby, and Alex says she thought about that too. She says what if the roles were reversed, and wonders how she would feel.

Alex says that she wants to tell Brad congratulations, and he says for what. She says it’s okay; she knows, but he doesn’t understand what she’s talking about. She says she knows Marcie is pregnant. Brad says she’s not, but Alex says she is; they have the same doctor. She’s surprised that Marcie hasn’t told him. Brad says he has to go – not because of that, because of him. Creepy Randal’s face is at the car window. He says that they have a hearing tomorrow, and Alex should get her beauty rest. He asks if she still wants to meet in the shed, but maybe this isn’t a good time to ask. He says he’ll be in there warming it up, like the d-bag he is.

Brad says he takes it back. Alex tries to explain, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He says he thought he couldn’t do it because of the baby, but it’s really because of Randal. She suggests they move, but Brad says they can’t afford it. He wants to do some bad things to Randal. Join the club. Alex says something bad almost happened to him, but Brad says almost doesn’t count. Alex gets out of the car, and Brad drives off. Randal watches from the porch. Eddie and Randal are the worst.

Randal asks if they’re getting back together, but Alex says nothing. He tells her that he’ll be in the shed. She goes in, and he says maybe not.

Kelly wakes up to a dog barking. She checks on Justice, seeing the top of his head. She pulls down the covers, and he’s fine. She makes sure the windows are locked. I’m as anxious as she is, wondering when and where Travis will pop out. She checks the rest of the house, and I wonder why she’s not carrying a weapon. She makes sure the front windows are locked. I can’t take this stress. She makes sure the doors are locked, and puts the chain on. I can’t stand it. She goes back to bed, but I’m not comfortable.

She turns out the light. Travis’s hand comes over her mouth and I almost scream.

Next time, the 90-minute mid-season finale, Lushion tells Natalie to lock the door, the custody hearing happens, Julius tells Ben that he’s looking for a new crew, Steven says it’s going down, and Lushion says, “Bye, Eddie.”

Below Deck Mediterranean

The wind has picked up, the yacht is about to hit the rocks, and Max is trying to push the boat with the tender. That isn’t a euphemism for anything. He’s supposed to push the yacht with a smaller boat. Captain Sandy asks what he’s waiting for, and she has to explain how it works. Hannah brings chips and dips for the guests, even though she’s concerned. The captain wants to reset the anchors, and Wes explains to the guests that it’s nothing, even though it’s something.

Lauren is annoyed that Bobby is going around talking smack about her. She’d thought they were friends. Bobby whines about being alone and losing his only friend, Hannah. Well, he should have thought about that before. Bugs is feeling down about her grandmother’s passing, and feels like she should be with her family, but tries to keep her chin up. The guests go naked paddle-boarding. Hannah tries to get Chef Adam to put on an apron with a muscle-guy’s body on it, but that’s a no. Captain Sandy is invited to dine with the guests.

More naked news is filmed. A request has been made for a cake shaped like a nude woman for dessert after dinner. Adam finds that baking it is more fun than he thought it would be. The captain is concerned about everyone being nakey at the table.

Bobby whines some more about his life sucking. He wants to be friends with Hannah again. He pulls her aside, and says he jumped to conclusions. Hannah says that she never said anything bad about him, and he says that’s not what Lauren told him. They hug it out, and Hannah says her feelings were hurt. In her interview, Hannah says that Bobby has burned her one too many times, so she’s proceeding with caution.

Four fabulous courses are in the making, and with the captain at the table, the pressure is on. Hannah says it’s important to her, because even though they got off to a rocky start, she and the captain are in a good place now. Anchor watch is set up. Bobby shows Wes a stupid video on his phone, while Lauren slaves over the laundry. In her interview, Hannah says you have to be thick-skinned in the yachting biz.

Lauren isn’t talking to anyone, so Bugs tries to engage her. Lauren says she just wants to do her job, and not be trashed by anyone. She starts getting all weepy, and Bugs can’t believe it, since she just lost her grandma.

The table is gorgeous, with lots of crystal and gold and sparkles. Mr. Skin talks about how he got into the business by watching lots of movies. Adam (who I keep wanting to call “Ben”) flirts with Malia. In his interview, he talks about a long-term relationship he had. His girlfriend never told her parents about him because of cultural differences, and she broke his heart. Lauren overhears Bobby talking about her. Malia is helping at the same time she’s on anchor watch. That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

Adam tells Hannah that she should slow down and give the guests time to enjoy the meal. Captain Sandy tells a tale of the sea at the table, while the entrees are put together. Bugs says it’s all about communication, and Adam says it’s the first time he’s sweating in the galley. He and Bugs put cake nipples together. The crew don shirts with bikini bodies on them. The captain excuses herself, and claims she’s going to look them up online.

The cake is served. The crew gets a standing ovation, and Bobby sees dollar signs. Mr. Skin says he can’t wait for the pie section, and even I have to laugh. Adam thanks everyone for their help. Apparently, naked cakes are difficult business, and take a village. He watches on closed circuit as one of the guests spins around on the lazy Susan without underwear. Is this one of those bleachable moments?

Lauren calls her father. She tells him she’s feeling alone. In her interview, she says that her parents are going through a messy divorce, and one of the reasons she took the job was to get away from it. She realizes she has to just focus on her work. Hannah and Bugs have coffee on deck, and Hannah gives Bugs kudos for a job well done. Bugs says it’s hard to believe she won’t be doing things anymore with her grandmother. Hannah talks about losing her brother at a young age, when he was just ten. She says Bugs’s family would be proud of her.

Malia is glad for an easy day, since she had to work until 3 am. The deckhands pull up the anchor, but something is wrong. There’s a huge, messy ball of chains that keeps the anchor from going up totally. Malia is like, of course, since it’s her first time pulling up anchor. Max says he’s never seen it this bad, and doesn’t have an actual solution. He explains this is what happens when you have two anchors and the boat starts moving around. Captain Sandy says they’re in trouble, since they have to get the guests to port in time. She says it’s the same as a necklace being tangled; you work the chain until it loosens. Ugh. Good luck.

The guests are starting to look, which puts more pressure on the deckhands. Bobby tries to tell the captain what to do, and she says she needs assistance, not resistance. Bugs says the crew has to keep the drama to themselves, and keep the guests distracted. Bobby continues to tell Captain Sandy how to do her job. She reminds him that she’s been doing this for nearly thirty years. In his interview, Max says when it comes to emergency situations, you just follow orders.

Captain Sandy leans almost entirely over the side of the boat. Max explains that the last thing you want to do is cut the anchor, since those are your brakes. The guests do some more naked news, and the captain calls for a water taxi. Wes gets into the water. He wants to see what he can from a safe distance.

Somehow, they make things worse, and the wind is picking up. Hannah explains to the guests that they’re having a problem with the anchor, but they’re getting a tender to bring them back so they can enjoy the afternoon. Captain Sandy gives the deckhands instructions over the walkie-talkie. Ooh, Adam is in full distraction mode and just made the most amazing appetizers. One of the guests says it’s plant-based paradise. Hannah calls for help putting the luggage on the taxi, and the captain tells the crew to get in their dress uniforms. Bobby is concerned the delay will affect their tip.

The guests had a fabulous – or “skintastic” – time. Mr. Skin tells the crew how much they enjoyed themselves. He has some individual compliments, and calls the captain “badass,” giving her the tip. He adds that getting stuck didn’t affect anything; they’re all happy. The guests board the tender. The captain tells the crew to grab something to eat and get back to it; they’ll deal with the tip later. Bobby says it’s like being on Gilligan’s Island, except they’re the island. He explains to Bugs how the anchor got tangled.

Bugs calls home, and says she wants to be there. If they want her to come, she will. Sounds like she’s staying. Lauren apologizes to Bugs, and says she was being selfish. They hug it out, but Bugs isn’t sure what she’s apologizing for. I guess her mind is (understandably) somewhere else, since she was previously annoyed with Lauren being self-centered.

A rope gets tangled in the anchor lines, and one of the deckhands tries to cut it. In the meantime, the girls decide to go for a swim. Adam is content to watch. It’s illegal to pull into port without an anchor, and no way is the captain losing them. We hear a big noise. To be continued…

Next time, who knows? They didn’t say. We never got to my favorite part either – tip time.

🍸 Tomorrow, Bethenny is a guest on Watch What Happens Live. I always look forward to her spilling the tea. The LA week has been fun so far, but I’m really not feeling the large, vocal audience.

May 22, 2017 – Nurses Ball Prep, Kathryn Begins Apology Tour & Savannah Charmers

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Lucy tells Kiki and Dillon that maybe they shouldn’t take so many breaks. It’s not like they can stop in the middle of a number for a nap.

Jason arrives home. He’s come bearing wine and beer, but Sam says she can’t drink while nursing. He says he won’t drink with her, and that tonight is all about her. She says that Scout could cry at any second, and he says they’d better get to it then.

Alex tells Anna to take the chimera necklace to Valentin, and tell him what happened. Anna says he’s never going to trust her, but Alex says she’s a spy; just figure it out. Anna says Alex isn’t trying to save the world, just her own skin.

Valentin leaves a message for Nina, who is standing behind him. He says he has a lot to say, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She just came to pick up paperwork. He wants to talk, but she doesn’t. She tries to give him back his keys, saying she’s saving him the trouble of making new one for Anna.

Sonny tells Carly that she can’t be upset because he moved on. Carly says that he did this just to piss her off, smashes the nearest object, and adds that it worked.

Alex regrets what she did. She tells Anna that she was young enough to be bought, and arrogant enough to think she could get away with it. Now the Chimera is out there, and she can’t stop it, so Anna has to. She says her old DVX associates want it for their employer. Anna asks if she would have given it to them, and Alex says the world is better off with Anna taking over. She has to get rid of it.

Nathan comes in with some WSB agents who have come to take Alex away. Alex tells Anna that whether she likes it or not, she has to stop what’s been put in motion. Nathan says he’s sure Anna has a lot of questions for Alex too, but Anna says she has a job to finish.

Valentin says the keys are Nina’s; he won’t give them to Anna. He says they belong to her, like the house and his heart and Charlotte, who would like to see her. Nina tells him not to play her feelings for Charlotte, and asks if he was the thinking about that when Anna played him. She says it doesn’t matter anymore; if Anna texted, he’d go running to her. Nina asks if he loves her enough to choose her and Charlotte, but answers her own question, saying he doesn’t love her enough to leave Anna behind. Valentin says that he was wrong, and he’ll spend rest of life making it up. Nina says it’s too late. As much as she loves their life, they’re no longer a family; he destroyed that.

Kiki tells Ava thatshe earned her certification. Ava is proud of her, and says she has wonderful news of her own. Avery is at her house spending the night. Hopefully, the first of many. Kiki is thrilled, but wonders why Sonny would change his mind. Ava says maybe he realized that Avery needed more time with her mother instead of Carly.

Carly tells Sonny about seeing Ava in the park, and how she was working overtime to distract Carly from the real question – what leverage does she have? She thought about Ava’s ridiculous excuse, and it wasn’t rocket science. She tells Sonny that Max was sweating bullets when he let her in. She points out that Sonny cooked for Martina, and says that he didn’t miss a trick. Sonny wonders why she went upstairs if she knew already. She says she wanted to see for herself that he was sleeping with her lawyer. Martina is suddenly there, and says she’s no longer Carly’s lawyer, which makes this none of her business. Carly says it is her business if it affects her legal situation. Sonny explains that they met not knowing that they were involved legally, and Carly asks why they didn’t say anything once they realized, and instead used it to his advantage. She thought it was strange, being advised to give his assets back. She says Sonny used their tryst as leverage, and Martina wanted to salvage her reputation and fee. Martina says what’s really making Carly angry is that she’s the woman in what used to be Carly’s bed. Wow. No smack in the face from Carly?

Ava is happy to see Kiki with someone who appreciates her. Kiki talks about how she and Dillon were both ready to leave Port Charles when they ended up on the same bus. Ava says don’t think of “what if?” Sometimes things work out the way they’re supposed to.

Dillon asks Lucy to borrow Felix for a minute. He tells Felix about Kiki’s certification, and wants a gift idea. Felix says he’s got what Dillon is looking for.

Ava reminds Kiki of her first kiss with Dillon at the last Nurses Ball, and says now they’re an official couple. She tells Kiki to focus on the good, and that her future couldn’t be brighter. Kiki says that Morgan is dead, and wants to know why Ava is pretending that he didn’t exist.

Jason tells Sam that it seems like Jake is doing well, and he’s actually looking forward to the Nurses Ball, adding that Jake will be performing his magic act. They joke around, and Jason gives Sam a vintage leather jacket. She says it’s rare. Apparently, she never goes on eBay. Nothing is rare. I have a store there, and I guarantee everything you own that you think is worth money, there’s a million of them out there. Peanut the Beanie elephant is not worth $2000, even in its original packaging. And every time an online article says it is, another ton of them end up for sale, devaluing them even further. Sorry. Rant over.

Valentin tells Nina he doesn’t blame her for doubting him; he risked everything he loved. He doesn’t believe it’s too late to get it back. He just needs her to trust him again. He suggests she spend the night. Nina tells him to stop promising what he can’t deliver. He says he can and he will. He’s going to check on Charlotte, and asks her to be there when he gets back.

Nina looks at a family photo. Suddenly Anna is there. She says she picked the lock. I guess she’s learned nothing from the last time she did that. Valentin isn’t answering her calls, and she says it’s urgent that she speak with him.

Carly says the bar association should be interested in Martina’s breach of ethics, and hopes Sonny was worth it. Martina was still her lawyer when she slept with Sonny, and didn’t resign as her attorney because of a conflict of interest. Martina says if she’s so unethical, why wouldn’t she have kept quiet and stayed on? Carly calls Martina a back-stabbing opportunist. Sonny says that’s what he thought when he found out Carly had been sleeping with Jax. He doesn’t say which one he’s referring to though.

Ava says Morgan’s death haunts her more than Kiki knows. Kiki asks why Ava can’t face her memories then. Ava tells Kiki that she doesn’t want the past to prevent Kiki from having a future. Whatever she did, she did for Kiki’s well-being. Kiki asks what she did.

Jason and Sam start to get busy, and Scout cries. Jason tells Sam not to take off the jacket, and goes to tend to Scout.

Nina tells Anna to go ahead and roam the halls to look for Valentin. Anna says that Nina doesn’t know what happened, and Nina says, screw you, you lying bitch, and accuses her of preying on people’s weaknesses. Anna says doesn’t know what she did, and Nina says Anna is the one who lured him away. She brings up the watch, saying it wasn’t a gift, but a way to spy on him. Anna is confused, and Nina says she’s good. Valentin walks in, and gets loud, asking Anna what she’s doing in his house.

Anna has something urgent to tell Valentin. Nina says she’s leaving, but Valentin says he doesn’t want Anna there. Nina leaves anyway, and Valentin asks Anna if he really has to kill her. She’s come around, thinking that she can tell more pathetic lies and he’ll believe her. He tells her that she won’t take anything more from him. Anna says she didn’t betray him; not now, and not back in the day. She has a twin – Alex Merrick.

Jason follows a trail of clothing, and likes where this is going. He sees Sam wearing nothing but the jacket, and she says he told her not to take it off. They get freaky busy.

Ava tells Kiki that Morgan is a loaded subject with them for obvious reasons. She thinks that Kiki should move on for her own best interest. She’s Kiki’s mother, and will not apologize for it. Dillon shows up, and Ava tells him that she’s happy to see Kiki being treated the way she should be. Dillon says it’s an honor and privilege. Ava has to get back to Avery. Dillon wonders what she wanted, but Kiki doesn’t know. He says the approval is nice, but he only cares about her.

Lucy tells Ava it all seems to be working out for her. She asks if Ava has time for an old friend who saved her from Sonny’s wrath.

Carly tells Sonny that she slept with Jax after Sonny said it was over, then he had Jax deported. Sonny says it’s not his fault if Jax bought a kidney on the black market, and he had nothing to do with it. Carly says it saved Josslyn’s life, and Sonny hurt her as well. She says she thought they were in agreement about not involving the kids. Martina says that Carly even told her what a great father Sonny is, and asks if she’s forgotten. Carly says she hasn’t forgotten that Martina slept with her husband, and thinks that the Bar Association will find it interesting. She tells them that she’s not compromising; she’s keeping everything. When she’s gone, Martina tells Sonny that Carly has a right to be upset.

Dillon gives Kiki a gift card for a spa day. She loves it, but says she’s partial to his hands for massages though. He says it’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

Lucy tells Ava that she feels troubled. Ava says she paid Lucy’s price. Lucy says that Ava paid for the pills, but she didn’t say she’d keep quiet. Ava tells her that the sculpture is worth a small fortune, and Lucy says a quarter million. Ava says it’s her donation, and Lucy says it’s always about her. Ava says she intends to present Lucy with one of those huge-sized checks in memory of Morgan.

Martina doesn’t want to wear out her welcome. She’s concerned about the bar, but Sonny thinks Carly will realize it won’t do any good to throw Martina under the bus. Martina says she can read people – all the anger and accusations mean Carly is still in love with him, and she thinks he’s still in love with her. She leaves and Sonny ponders.

Carly calls Diane, who already heard everything from Max. Carly says that her attorney will be in touch – as soon as she gets one.

Nina sees Nathan. She asks if she should pull out of doing the Nurses Ball red carpet. He says she was great last year. She says she doesn’t want to look stupid when Valentin comes in with Anna. Nathan says he doesn’t think that’s going to happen. She says Anna showed up at the house, and he says there’s something she needs to know about Anna.

Anna explains to Valentin about Alex being recruited to do the things she wouldn’t. He suggests like sleeping with a hunchback, but she says like seducing an innocent man and making him a traitor. She says Alex took the job to steal the Chimera, and ultimately she put out the kill order.

Nathan explains that Anna has a twin, and Nina is like, whaaaat?

Anna tells Valentin that while she was in a drug induced coma, Alex took her place.

Nathan tells Nina about walking into the airport and seeing two Annas fighting.

What Anna hates is how Alex traded on what Valentin once felt. She can’t change it, but says she can tell him the truth. He says he doesn’t believe her. What difference does it make anyway? She says it makes a difference to this, and holds up necklace. He says she wants the Chimera.

Jason comes downstairs. He sees Helena reading Jake’s book. She tells him that Sam is gone and so are his children. She warned him. He asks where the kids are, and she repeats that she warned him. He wakes up on the couch with Sam.

Felix tells Kiki she has to be on skeleton crew, and can’t go to the ball. Cinderkiki.

Lucy asks if Ava is sure she wants to tempt fate. Ava says that someone accused her of forgetting Morgan. She wants to honor his memory, and believes fate is on her side.

Sonny wanders around, thinking about the old days with Carly. Carly thinks about Sonny.

Nathan tells Nina about Alex impersonating Anna. Nina says when she left Valentin over Anna, she really left over Anna’s sister. Nathan says he’s not lobbying for Valentin, but wonders if it changes anything.

Sam tells Jason that they and the kids are safe. He says it felt so real. She says Helena can’t hurt them anymore.

Valentin says that Anna didn’t come to explain; she came for information. Anna tells him that the Chimera holds some kind of toxin, but she didn’t have clearance to find out any more than that. Valentin says, sorry; he sold it, and the buyer is dead. Anna says it could be out there, and he tells her that’s not his problem. Anna doesn’t believe that the Valentin she knew, the one who was her friend, would take responsibility for releasing something so deadly into world, but instead would do what he could to stop it. That’s him.

Tomorrow, ♫ Welcome to the Nurses Ball ♫! Mario Lopez works the red carpet, Griff asks what’s up with Anna breaking into Valentin’s house, and Michael wonders why Sonny wants Morgan’s journal.

Southern Charm

We start off with Cameran telling us that she thinks Landon would flirt with a corpse. Maybe. How much money does he have?

Kathryn leaves a message for Whitney, saying she’d like to get together and catch up. Huh?

Thomas talks to Kelsie about architecture, but she can’t even say “Charleston” yet. He drives through town giving her a history lesson that she won’t remember two minutes from now.

Craig and Naomie go to couples counseling. I dunno. If you need counseling at this early stage, maybe you should just move on. The counselor asks what they want out of the sessions. Naomie wants them to be respectful and nice; Craig wants her to have his back. He’s tired of her second guessing him, and wonders why she’s even with him if she’s not locked solid. Naomie says he undercuts her, but it’s easier to just stop talking. The counselor explains fair fighting, and gives them a list of rules. He gives them flash cards to agree or disagree. This is stupid. Craig says their definitions of yelling are different, and I totally get this. When my husband tells me that I’m “yelling,” when what I’m really doing is talking in a firm tone, I tell him, how about if I really yell, and then he can compare the two? He’s never taken me up on that once. Naomie calls Craig a “sensitive little guy,” and I wonder why he’s not sensitive about that remark. Moving on to name calling. Their definitions of that are different too. Naomie strikes me as the kind of person who stirs the pot, and then pretends that she didn’t do anything. I’ve seen her type before. Craig looks at it like it’s them against the world, but isn’t so sure she looks at it the same way.

Cameran meets Austen for a drink. The go over the hunting trip. Austen asks about Drew, and then Thomas. Landon says she’s ready to settle down again. He says she wants Shep’s age, but Thomas’s money. She insists it’s not about the money. Shep joins them. Landon tells him that Austen is the new Shep, but he already has a girlfriend. Shep says once he took the camo off, and Chelsea saw him in the daylight, it was over. Austen says they had a conversation about just taking things as they come. Shep thinks he’s more her type. In his interview, Austen tells us that he’s not susceptible to Shep’s mind games, and Shep needs to get over it.

Thomas visits his ancient father, Arthur. They discuss a family-owned house that Thomas is fixing up. Thomas shows him enlarged photos on an easel. He tells Arthur about Kensie starting school. In his interview, Thomas says his relationship with his father is complicated, and his parents’ divorce greatly affected him. He says all of his siblings are happily married with children, and all he’s gotten are relationship problems. Arthur says smile, laugh, and don’t get too bent out of shape. Wise words.

Chelsea and Austen go to some kind of adult indoor obstacle course. In his interview, he says they seem comfortable with each other, and coupled with their attraction, all systems are go. They shoot some hoops. Austen gives Chelsea a sweaty kiss. They take a break, and discuss their families. He talks about an older sister who passed away, falling off of a cliff at a state park. His parents lied, saying she was in the hospital and coming back, which messed with his head. No kidding. My paternal grandmother died when I was three and it was explained to me. Not wanting him to be an only child, Austen’s parents had another baby, and he has a sister nine years his junior.

Georgette Mosbacher visits Patricia; they’ve been friends for years. Michael brings them some libations. Patricia is having an Indian themed dinner to celebrate their trip to India and their doggy caftan line. We see a clip from when they came up with the idea. Patricia says they’re introducing the kids to the line at the dinner. Georgette asks if the kids will behave, and tells Patricia that she doesn’t tolerate bad manners. Patricia insists there is no such thing in the South.

Kathryn visits Chelsea’s shop for a new hairstyle. She wants to get back into modeling, and needs some new headshots done. She says she’s thinking of getting Kensie into modeling too, since she’s such a ham. She explains that she and Thomas aren’t really communicating, and haven’t spoken in about a year. She tells Chelsea that Thomas sent her a text recently, so she sent him a letter. In her interview, she says she hesitated to reply, as he always has an ulterior motive.

JD (bleh) goes to Thomas’s office. He talks about Kathryn visiting, and how she seems put together and sincere. Thomas tells him about her contrite, heartfelt letter. JD (bleh) can’t believe that Kathryn took his advice. Thomas reads some of the letter, where Kathryn talks about being apologetic, and that it’s a shame their children have to miss either their mother or their father, since they don’t do things together anymore.

In her interview, Kathryn talks about how Thomas needs his father’s approval. She says regardless of what’s happened, she’s glad to have given him children he can be proud to show his father. I guess so, since the old man will be long gone by the time Thomas ever gets married. If he does at all. We flash back to some kid/family moments. Kathryn says she wanted to show him that there are good people who won’t leave you. She tells us that he’s an a-hole, but he’s a good person, and although she’s not in love with him, she loves him.

Thomas continues to read. Kathryn tells him that when he’s ready, she’ll be there, and she’s hoping they can co-parent peacefully. He says he doesn’t know how to take it. JD (bleh) says it’s an olive branch, but Thomas is concerned that it’s a trap.

Patricia and Georgette don their caftans. Landon tries to figure out how to wear a sari. Both Naomie and Cameran are wearing them too, but manage to dress themselves without incident. Naomie is glad that she and Craig can move forward now, and he asks her not to treat him like a piece of sh*t tonight. Whitey shows up in a silk suit with a camo lining. No. Just no. Cameran says she wants a caftan with Whitney’s face on it. Ha-ha! Everyone dribbles in. Michael is wearing a turban, and tells them dinner is served. Michael is the coolest guy on this show. And he can make a mean martini.

There are a lot of elephant themed accessories at the dinner table. I like it! Georgette says no talking religion, politics, or sex. Cameran wonders what they’ll talk about, and Georgette says let’s forget the rules. Patricia explains how to assemble a curry dish. I love curry, and the food looks fabulous. They discuss the quail hunt. Patricia points out the Something-Or-Other diamond that Georgette is wearing. They discuss good manners. Georgette says the number one thing is forgiveness, and forgetting petty slights. Hear, hear! Michael announces a special guest – an Indian psychic healer.

The healer is going to give everyone readings, with the rest of the group asking questions about whoever is in the hot seat. What kind of Indian name is Angie? She wants questions based upon their energies, whatever that means. She says Cameran will be pregnant by the end of 2017, and she’s having three children. In her interview, Cameran says she’d need to have a huge change of heart to pop out three kids from her who-ha. Craig is next, and Angie says he’ll be a lawyer, and own his own firm. Naomie has no questions. In her interview, she says she does, she just doesn’t want to ask them there. Angie says their connection is strong, and they’re soulmates. Ugh! That word. In his interview, Shep says the only thing he believes in is Bigfoot. Angie says Shep doesn’t want marriage, but fears being alone for the rest of his life. Geez, I could have told you that. Shep says his fear is monotony, and being with the same person for the rest of his life. Craig asks if Landon has a soulmate (stop it!) connection in this room. Angie says she’ll know it when it clicks, and despite what anyone says, she’ll be with that person. Cameran asks if Whitney will be giving Patricia a grandchild, and Angie says yes. Patricia asks if she’ll still be alive when it happens, and the answer is also yes. Thomas goes up. Whitney talks about Kathryn wanting to make amends. In her interview, Landon thinks Kathryn is trying to social climb through Whitney, because she’s an ignoramus who wouldn’t understand the 12-steps if she studied them for the rest of her life.

Whitney asks how Angie foresees this ending up. She finds the question confusing, and Cameran suggests they stay out of it. Craig says all Kathryn wants, is to say she’s sorry, and it’s one of the steps. Shep brings up the forgive and forget business that Georgette just told them, and wonders how f-ing stupid everyone is. Whitney apologizes to Georgette for Shep saying a bad word. Craig says it’s called being the bigger person and taking the high road. Landon says she’s always taken the high road, and Craig begs to differ, saying that’s never happened. Landon wants him to apologize. Georgette thanks everyone, and the guests are hustled out before they can do any more damage to her virgin ears. In his interview, Shep thinks everybody is being ridiculous. Cameran questions Kathryn’s motives. Naomie tells Craig that he’s making her anxious. Soulmates? Hardly.

Shep tells Cameran that people should be given a chance. She says she wishes Kathryn the best, but they’re not friends. She says that she doesn’t like turmoil, and Kathryn should be reaching out to Thomas. Um… Isn’t that what she just did? Cameran tells Shep that this is so over, and they need to stay out of Kathryn and Thomas’s business.

Next time, Landon tells her date that she’s old and her eggs are drying up, Whitney meets with Kathryn and brings Cameran along, Shep tries to get Chelsea to go out with him, and Kathryn gets a letter back from Thomas.

🍹 I’m not sure what to say about Southern Charm Savannah. There is more emphasis on old money and family name, while on Southern Charm (The Original), Thomas is really the only one with a big claim to that fame. Kathryn is too, which is one of the reasons they first interacted, but they don’t talk about that at all. I can already tell that Ashley is another pot stirrer. Last week, she played strip golf with the guys at her own suggestion, stripping down to a barely there teddy, and making everyone uncomfortable except herself. Hannah, who’s married to one of Ashley’s golfing buddies, dared to approach her about it, and got less than nothing for her trouble. While Hannah was very diplomatic, somehow Ashley turned things around, getting offended, and acting like Hannah should apologize for even broaching the subject. Yep, I’ve seen her type before too. They create drama or bad situations, and then either can’t believe you’re mad at them or beg you not to be. I’m not sure if I should watch this show because of her, or avoid it for the same reason. It’s already obvious that it’s going to revolve around her.

 

Mondays