What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Tracy tells someone on the phone to get it done by tomorrow. Dillon asks what’s up tomorrow, and Tracy says she’ll tell him tomorrow. He says she’s focused and energized. She’s made her mind up about something and won’t stop until she gets it. Tracy says her life is off course. Dillon tells her that Larry conned all of them, but Tracy says something happened to her. She fell for Larry’s con and went to the crypt to say good-by to Lila. She tells him about her courtroom hallucination, with Scotty being her attorney and Sonny being the judge. She says that if her bad deeds outweighed the good, she was coming back as the baby Skye Chandler is about to adopt. He asks if doing the right thing gave her a nervous breakdown, but she says she’s finally at peace with herself.
Carly tells Kiki she thought that she and Sonny would find closure about Morgan’s death, but instead they’re getting divorced. Kiki says they clearly love each other, but Carly says sometimes that’s not enough. Kiki tells her that a wise person once said she never hated a man so much that she gave him back his diamonds. Zsa Zsa Gabor?
Sonny gets busy with the strange woman. I get busy with my lunch.
Tracy gets a brunch ready. She tells Monica their guests are about to arrive. Monica is like, nice of you to throw a party in my house, which is a little mean, since Tracy lives there and it’s not like a one-bedroom apartment. The doorbell rings, and it’s Kiki. She asks Dillon if Tracy is okay, since she was nice. Ned says it’s a long story. Tracy says it’s hers to tell when the rest of the guests arrive.
Olivia-F discusses the Nurses Ball with Lucy. Lucy says they have a lot to set up, and thanks Olivia for helping. She says the Nurses Ball sneaks up on her every year. Me too. Olivia says she has to go kiss her mother-in-law’s ring, and leaves for the brunch. Nathan tells Dante that Maxie is on her way home. He says in her absence, he may or may not have created a mess in the house. He hired someone to clean while he splurged on a romantic MetroCourt evening. He says the way she sounded, Port Charles is the last place she wants to be.
Carly and Lulu had planned on discussing a pending convention on The Haunted Star, but Lulu says she just got an SOS from Tracy, and asks if they can reschedule their meeting. Carly says for Tracy, no; for Lulu, yes. Lulu asks how Carly wants the divorce to play out.
It’s morning, and Sonny tells the strange woman that it was unexpected. They introduce themselves. Her name is Martina. Sonny asks if she has any regrets. Martina says she’s a big girl, but does he have any regrets?
Hayden asks Finn why they’re at brunch. He thinks it has something to do with the painting. They discuss the artist. Tracy calls for attention, and says she has an announcement she’ll make when everyone gets there. Olivia-F arrives, but says there’s no food and nearly freaks out. Tracy says there will be after she makes her announcement. Olivia tells her the guests are starving, but Tracy says, my party, my rules. Ned says in the meantime, he has his own announcement, as long as he’s not violating the rules.
Tracy tells him to go ahead. He says they’ll never have to hear Larry Ashton’s name again.
Martina thinks Sonny is getting over something, and hopes it helped. He says it was a welcome distraction from what he has to do today. She says she has a meeting in an hour. They start kissing.
Lulu tells Carly that Dante mentioned she’s planning on keeping Sonny’s assets. She asks if Carly really wants to bleed Sonny dry. Carly says he has all kinds of assets offshore. Lulu says their illegal, and he can’t bring anything into the US. Carly says Jax can’t come into the US either, and if Sonny has to spend time laundering money on some island, he deserves it. He’ll live in the lap of luxury, and gets to take Avery, who she loves, with him. She says that it will force him to rethink his priorities. Lulu says that once Carly goes down this road, she might not be able to come back. Carly doesn’t think there’s anything to come back to.
Lulu goes in the back to get something, and Carly hears a noise. She goes to investigate. It’s Sonny in the stateroom, knocking the phone off the table while in the throes of passion. Carly tries the door. Lulu asks what she’s doing; there are guests in the stateroom. Carly apologizes, and they move on. Carly asks if she should take her rings off, and Lulu tells her not to do it until she’s ready. Carly says Sonny was still wearing his, which surprised her. Lulu says maybe there’s hope after all.
Martina is pressed for time. Sonny asks if she’d like to meet again, but she says she’s just there for a week, and her work will probably take up all the time. Sonny says if they bump into each other again, they’ll see how it goes. She says it’s a deal.
Ned tells everyone he was named after Edward, and he was close to his grandparents growing up. He always had to explain why his last name wasn’t Quartermaine, but Quartermaine is how his mother raised him, and how he thinks of himself; it’s intrinsic to his identity. It falls to him and Dillon to carry on the Quartermaine name, and he’s proud to do so. He shows them a petition that he’s filed to change his name to Edward Lawrence Quartermaine, assuming Tracy approves. She says with all her heart, and hugs him.
Nathan says Portland is the land of opportunity for Maxie, whereas Port Charles isn’t exactly a fashion hub. He leaves to pick her up. Lucy comes back, and tells Dante to hustle. She’s afraid Nathan wants his mother to perform. Lucy says she’s been calling non-stop – although she is talented, but Lucy would never tell her that. Nathan comes back in, and says Maxie isn’t coming home.
Lulu arrives, and Tracy says they can get started. She tells Lulu about Ned’s decision, and then tells the room that she’s now going to attempt to set the record straight. She talks about Edward faking his own death. She tells them about the painting, and how Edward was traveling under the alias of J.L. Holt when he bought it. Tracy explains that he left the painting at a monastery in Turkey, and that the monks were going to sell it, until Larry concocted an elaborate hoax, but Ned stopped him.
Nathan says Maxie was offered something more at the magazine, and it doesn’t sound like she’s coming back any time soon. Lucy gets upset, because Maxie was supposed to help with the costumes. Dante says they can work it out, but Nathan says she’d made the decision without him. He can’t blame her, since she likes the work and is closer to Georgie. Dante says people deal with long-distance relationships all the time. Lucy says she and Doc did it when they were married.
Diane and Carly show up at the divorce hearing first. Diane tells her that Sonny needs his business interests, but Carly says the documents are air-tight. She says when Jax is allowed back in the US, she’ll turn the assets back over. In the meantime, Sonny will be just fine. Diane says he’ll be without his children or her. Carly tells Diane he’s not going to miss her, but Diane says he’ll miss her like a drowning man misses oxygen. She says Sonny is his own worst enemy, and Carly is the only one who’s been able to save him from himself. Every time he falls apart, she’s the only one who can put him back together. Diane says it’s easy to dissolve a marriage, but they’ll never dissolve the relationship. She thinks they should just go into their separate corners for a while. Sonny arrives, and Diane says she thinks they had a breakthrough, but Carly sees that he’s no longer wearing his ring.
Laura is shocked that Samira was working for Larry. Monica absolves Finn from doing the paternity test, but tells him don’t do it again. Laura thanks Ned, and also complements Tracy for wanting to make the sacrifice. Tracy tells everyone about how Laura came with her to Turkey, and about the letter. She says Edward told her he loved her, which may sound simple; however, he was anything but. The letter set her free.
Lucy tells Nathan, on second thought, never mind her and Doc; they’re just one couple, and there are lots of couples who have long-distance relationships. Their break-up was her fault. She realizes she’s not making Nathan feel any better, so she leaves to extract her foot from her mouth. Dante tells Nathan they’re nothing like them. He’s sure Maxie feels the same way, but Nathan says she was quick to stay. Dante says it’s a great opportunity, and she probably feels the marriage can handle it.
Sonny asks if there was a reason why he shouldn’t take his ring off. Carly says no. Guess who her lawyer is. And it’s not Nora. That’s right – Martina.
Tracy tells the group that she’s spent her adult life in and out of Port Charles, and in and out of their lives, but she always came back. She wanted a place there, so she fought, maneuvered, and schemed, but the thing she was chasing was the love expressed in the letter. She tells them that she loves all of them, the people in the room and the people in her heart, but it’s time for her to step out of her father’s shadow and make a life for herself. She can’t do it there. She starts to cry, and says she’s leaving.
Tomorrow, Ned doesn’t believe it, Nathan wonders if there’s room in Maxie’s life for him, and Sonny asks Martina what kind of game she’s playing.
The Real Housewives of New York City
I can’t wait to watch Carole’s head explode.
Carole and her mother are going to Pennsylvania to manipulate get out the vote. Carole says she and her mother have more of a bickering sister relationship. Aww, poor Carole just had a visceral reaction to Trump becoming POTUS. He stands for everything she’s against. Carole has developed such a know-it-all, annoying attitude, people like her are exactly why Trump won.
Ramona goes to the plastic surgeon. She’s getting a laser treatment on her face, since she has a big birthday coming up. She’s in disbelief of her age, since when she looks in the mirror, she sees someone fifteen years younger. Apparently, she avoids looking at her neck.
Carole talks about subsidized housing being a dirty word when she was younger, and how her mother protested the protestors. She discusses her and Adam “shacking up” with her mother. She says she doesn’t regret not having kids, and her mother says that’s okay, she has enough grandchildren. Good woman. My mother-in-law never pressured us, and I think she felt the same way. Carole doesn’t feel the need to introduce her parents to Adam, which I think is kind of odd. Carole gets weirder as this show goes on.
Sonja goes out to dinner with Rocco, a restaurateur she’s known for a long time. She’s torn between him and Frenchie. Rocco is more interested in settling down, whereas Frenchie lives in the moment. She says there’s guys you sleep with and guys you marry, and at present, she’s only sleeping with Frenchie, even though it seems unfair. Rocco asks how many people live at her house, since there are always different people there when he comes over. She tells him how Tinsley didn’t even give her a birthday card. In her interview, Sonja says it’s not the mannered Tinsley she knows. Geez, maybe she just forgot.
Dorinda and Luann meet for shopping. Luann has gotten Tom a Rolex for his birthday, but wants to get him something extra, like a nice tie. They talk about Carole’s election party, and Luann says she’s only involved in the politics of love right now. Dorinda tells her how she’s planning the invitations to Ramona’s surprise party, with Ramona thinking she’s been invited to a different party.
Carole is excited, but wants to throw up. She’s hoping her party will turn into a celebration of the first woman president. She says the election has taken its toll on some friendships, and she’ll be glad to move on. Too bad so many people haven’t moved on, and I’d hazard a guess that Carole is one of them.
Heather from another season has been invited, since she’s a friend of Carole’s. Carole insists that Hillary is going to win. Shock starts to come over her. Dorinda’s late husband worked with Hillary, so she kinda sorta knows her. Omg, Carole is friends with a gay Republican. How did that happen? Bethenny and friends arrive. She says Carole will short circuit if Hillary doesn’t win. I’m laughing already.
Dorinda talks about Ramona’s surprise party, and tries to talk Bethenny into going. Bethenny wishes Ramona a happy birthday, but doesn’t want to go. Carole is getting nervous, but not panicking…yet. <snort> Dorinda is going to cry. Bethenny asks if Carole is all right. Dorinda leaves, wanting to go to bed and have it be a bad dream in the morning. Carole can’t believe what’s happening, and I can barely contain my laughter.
Weepy Carole calls her mother in the morning. She’s stunned, and can’t put words to how she feels. She reads the speech she was going to give. Her mother asks what they do now. Move to Canada? Shoot yourself? Act like a normal person and let life go on? Carole is a dumbass dumbfounded.
Ramona shops for a sexy birthday dress. She tries on something red with zipper detailing. I like it, but think the neckline is too high. Carole joins her. Ramona isn’t holding a grudge, but she’s also not talking to Carole about politics anymore. In her interview, Carole says the two of them shopping in an expensive, exclusive store is why people who live outside of the city think they’re out of touch, so the irony isn’t lost on her. I lived in the city for over 20 years, and I still think they’re out of touch.
They talk about Ramona’s argument with Bethenny. Ramona still tries to justify what she said, and in her interview, Carole thinks she’s off-base. Ramona believes Bethenny is the reason she wasn’t invited to the election party, and Carole tells her that’s not it. Ramona talks about Dorinda’s party invite, and Carole says something about it being a surprise because she’s an idiot. Since Ramona is an even bigger idiot, she doesn’t realize that Carole just let the cat out of the bag.
Tinsley is ready for Ramona’s party. She has on a fabulous beige dress with tiny white flowers appliqued on it, but the invite says LBD, so she goes to change. This just goes to show that people don’t really read things.
The party looks fantastic. Dorinda is picking Ramona up, but she’s running late. Since Ramona has a date after the party she thinks she’s going to, and Dorinda is running late, she calls a cab. Dorinda is afraid she’s not going to show up. Sonja arrives with Tinsley in the proper attire.
Dorinda tells everyone to get ready. The guest of honor arrives, and everyone yells surprise. Ramona starts to cry and falls on the floor in a fit of drama. Dorinda can’t believe she pulled it off. Carole thinks it’s a good thing Ramona doesn’t listen to her. Does anyone? The infamous Harry is there. We flash back to him giving Sonja a ring at some party, and then leaving the party with Luann. In her interview, Sonja says Harry is like the itch she can’t scratch; everywhere she goes, there he is. Ramona calls her date, whose first name she’s forgotten (we find out it’s George), and invites him to the party.
George is incredibly underdressed. Ramona tells him it’s her surprise party, and he asks if he should chill or what? Bleh. And he’s no Brad Pitt. Or even Brad Paisley. Either make the best of it, or go home, George. Luann talks to John. In her interview, she tells us about the Irish good-by, where you leave a party and no one notices. She slips out. Dorinda thinks Bethenny should have done a drive-by. The drinks flow and the food looks incredible.
Ramona and Sonja talk outside on the observation deck. Ramona says she likes that Sonja doesn’t sweat the small stuff. She brings up Bethenny, saying she has no time for superficial crap. She says all she did was ask something out of concern. In her interview, Sonja says it’s amazing how Ramona can spin something. Sonja changes the subject, saying it’s a momentous occasion, after struggling to say the word momentous. In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny is holding a grudge.
The cake comes out. According to the candles, Ramona is a tall one-year-old. She thanks everyone for coming, and says she’s totally shocked.
Next time, Carole complains about not having space, a dog drives a car, Luann tries on her wedding dress, and Ramona continues the argument with Bethenny.
👠 Tonight, on Watch What Happens Live, the guests were Ramona Singer and Alex McCord. It was fun to see Alex again – I miss her and Simon. They’re living in Australia now, and it must agree with her, because she looks great. We also got a fun flashback from when Ramona walked off the first reunion because Alex had dared to have nude art photos taken. They’ve made up since then.
🕶 Another fun show that aired tonight was Andy Cohen’s Then and Now. It’s a pop-culture retrospective, and the first episode covered 1997. From Princess Diana‘s death to my beloved Spice Girls, using clips and celebrity interviews. Like with the death of John Kennedy before her, people tend to remember where they were when they heard the news about Diana. Oddly enough, I was watching the Spice Girls, who were on Saturday Night Live that night.
🍑 Just a note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It looks like there’s going to be a lot of crying and screaming and walking off stage in part four of the reunion. The lie about Kandi wanting to drug Porsha and have sex with her comes to a head, with Phaedra admitting that she initiated it. It’s my understanding that Phaedra has gotten the boot from Bravo for this move, and good riddance. That was beyond uncalled for.