What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Griff tells Hayden and Finn that the test results say Hayden is pregnant. Hayden says it doesn’t make sense. Why would a test for opiates also test for pregnancy? My question exactly.
Curtis tells Nina that the listening device is expensive and hard to find, just like the watch. Nina asks if Anna can hear them now, but Curtis says unlikely with it smashed to smithereens. He wonders what Anna’s game plan is. Is she a psycho stalker or does she just like to listen in on personal conversations? Nina says it’s so much more than that. She’s been targeting Valentin and knows where to aim.
Valentin answers the phone like I do – what? Ha-ha! Anna asks if he’s free to meet. She goes on about how nice it is outside, and how they can go to the park and have a picnic. He says he doesn’t think so. She says they were closer than they’ve been in decades the other day, and we flash back their conversation in the park. She says maybe they could build on that, and he tells her it’s over. He won’t be seeing her today or any other day.
On the docks, Nelle leaves a message for Nina. She says as much as she loves Charlotte, Nina will have to find a new nanny. She doesn’t want to spy on Valentin. Michael is standing behind her.
Carly says she came to the restaurant to order a cake, and finds her husband and divorce attorney holding hands. Martina says she can explain. That’s what Frank N. Furter said in Rocky Horror, and look where it got him. Martina apologizes, saying that she wanted to tell Carly first. She says she’s removing herself from the case, which is what they were discussing. Carly thinks Sonny has been intimidating her, but she says it’s for personal reasons. Carly asks for specifics, and Sonny says it’s because of him.
Michael tells Nelle that he couldn’t help overhearing. He assumes she’s spying because Nina asked her to. Nelle tells him that Carly told Nina about what happened with Sonny, and Nina threatened to fire her if she didn’t, but she refused to do it. She followed Valentin once, and hated it; she even lied to Nina. She told her everything was fine when it seemed sketchy. That’s why she just quit.
Curtis asks how Anna would have gotten such specialized equipment. Nina tells him that Anna and Valentin were both in the WSB. She tells Curtis about how Valentin was in love with Anna, and she used it to end his career. She told him she wanted to make amends, but obviously, that wasn’t the case.
Hayden wonders why there was a pregnancy test, if Finn was the one being tested. Griff goes to look into it. Hayden tells Finn it changes the projectory of her day. He asks if it’s a possibility. This is the second time I’ve heard the word “projectory” in a week, and no spellcheck recognizes it as a word.
On the phone, Anna says she hasn’t located the chimera yet. She’s had a setback. She lost transmission with Valentin, and now he’s resisting any further attempt at intimacy. She gets all that, and is going to try again. Jordan sits with her, and asks how long she thought she could hide.
Nina says that Anna preyed on Valentin’s vulnerabilities. Curtis says she’s good, and Nina says she’s disgusting. She’s probably already booked a room. Curtis says that Valentin is dangerous; he’s under surveillance by the WSB. She has to make a decision, and he says it should be soon. Valentin walks in, and they make a soap opera stare at each other.
Carly wonders when things changed. Martina says she was informed of a conflict of interest just today. She worked for a law firm that was involved in a lawsuit concerning Sonny’s coffee company. It could be construed as her being on his side. Carly wonders why she’d tell Sonny first. There’s no getting anything past Carly.
Hayden doesn’t want to waste time and emotion on something that’s obviously an error. Finn says he’s sure she’s aware of what’s normal for herself, but she says she hadn’t been paying attention. She insists she’s not pregnant. Griff comes back.
Jordan makes small talk with Anna. She asks if Anna has had to scale back on the work front. Anna says she’s had to settle down some, and Jordan says she wouldn’t mind settling down in her personal life. She tells Anna about Curtis.
Curtis tells Nina again to be careful, and jets. Valentin says he was looking for her. She says he wasted a trip. He tells her that he’s so sorry he put Anna between them, but she means nothing and Nina means everything. Her and Charlotte are his whole world. He was an idiot, looking for closure in a painful and demoralizing chapter in his life, but he didn’t need it, because he has a wife and child he adores. He says he wants her more than he’s wanted anyone, but she doesn’t believe him. She says that all this time, she’s been seeing it from his point of view and giving him the benefit of the doubt. He says that he wanted relief form a lingering ache, but it’s nothing compares to losing her. He knows they can fix it. Nina says he’s right. He’s been a fool. Anna has been using him.
Michael says he’d like to believe Nelle was doing the right thing. She says his mom knows everyone in town, and she was desperate. She wanted to stay in Port Charles because she thought the end justified the means, but it didn’t. He says now what? She tells him that it’s time for her next adventure. He asks if she’s leaving, and she says starting over is kind of exciting. He says it’s weird to think of her not being around. She says despite everything that happened, Port Charles is her home, but there’s nothing here for her unless he can think of a reason that she should stay.
Martina tells Carly that she meant no disrespect by telling Sonny first. Carly thinks it’s odd that Martina isn’t calling him Mr. Corrinthos. She says Martina’s reasons for bailing sound professional, but what isn’t, is how she found them. It seems more like there was a prior connection on a personal level. Martina says if that was the case, Alexis wouldn’t have recommended her, but Carly says Alexis doesn’t know everything. She accuses Sonny of undermining her case, and asks where his honor is now.
Griff says that the test doesn’t identify the person; it’s only a number. Whoever rigged it put in a trace of opiates, and if drugs are found, they automatically test for anything that might be affected by them. Hayden says, so this is actually happening. Griff goes off to do whatever, and Finn and Hayden sit down. Thanks, Griff, for answering our question.
Hayden says Finn was always careful, but he says birth control is only 98% effective. She says they’re in the 2%, and he says sorry. They figure out when they last had sex. She says she’s the least maternal person she knows. He says she’s good with Roxie, who is very demanding. Hayden doesn’t know if she’s ready to be a parent, and asks if he is. I know all about this small percentage business. Thank God this has never happened to me, but my Golden Retriever was in the 1% that has a bad reaction to heartworm medication the first time he had a dose. It was traumatizing to us both.
Nina gives Valentin the watch. She says Curtis found something tucked away in the band. He asks if it’s what he thinks it is, and she says it’s a listening device. She asks why he’s so shocked. Anna tried to bug the house. First time shame on her, the next time, he knows the rest. She says it wasn’t a gift to him, but to Anna; she could hear every word.
Jordan tells Anna that Andre broke up with her, and Anna says Andre told her. Jordan thought he might pursue something with Anna, since there seemed to be something between them. Anna says she likes him, but it’s not the right time. She was just diagnosed with cancer, and doesn’t want to jump into a complicated relationship. Jordan says that Valerie accused her of warning Valerie off of Curtis so she could have him for herself. Anna asks if she was right.
Martina says it – it’s not what you think. Carly tells her to get lost. She leaves, and Carly is like, wow, and then Sonny says it – it’s not what you think. My prediction that someone would say that becomes doubly true. He says they weren’t teaming up against her. Carly says he’s crossed a lot of lines. Sonny says she slept with Jax while she was still married to him. He wanted it to be amicable, but she wanted to punish him. She says she did nothing; he said it was over. He changed his mind, and got offended. He had Jax deported, and now he still wants her to protect him – hell no. Carly says whatever he did, it didn’t work. She wants to know the real story, and says for once, to tell her the truth.
Finn tells Hayden that he hasn’t thought about fatherhood – at least not recently. He asks if she’s ever thought about it. Hayden says she and her first husband talked about it, but distantly. When he left, she focused on surviving. She talks about missing Spencer. Finn asks what she wants to do.
Valentin says he suspected that Anna had ulterior motives; he should have known. She’s been asking about a clandestine operation they were involved in. The watch is how she knew where to find him, and call when Nina was out of earshot. He tells Nina that he told Anna that he didn’t want to see her again, but Nina says too late. He says it’s twice he let Anna destroy his life. This time he hurt her and his daughter, and he’ll never forgive himself. He walks out.
Jordan tells Anna that she had to question herself. Maybe subconsciously she wanted Curtis available. I’d suggest talking to Andre, but that would be more than a little awkward. Anna says she’s overthinking it, and tells Jordan to go for it. Jordan wonders why no cautionary advice. Anna says she can’t waste a moment and neither should Jordan.
Michael asks if Nelle is serious. Nelle says what option does she have? She has no friends there. He says she doesn’t have as many enemies as she thinks, but Nelle says that’s not the same thing. She says there’s really no reason for her to stay. He’s like um, uh, I guess not, and tells her good luck. He leaves her on the docks. Alone. What a gentleman.
Sonny asks Carly about the cake. Carly is like, what? He says he’ll leave a message for the baker. She says she asks for the truth, and he dodges it again. He says that was the truth. She says she doesn’t know why she’s surprised. It’s how they ended up here in the first place. She asks when the lies are going to stop, and walks out.
Hayden tells Finn that she needs time to think. They’re just finding their way back, and she doesn’t know what he’ll be like when he’s clean. He says he loves her, and that was never the drugs talking. She says she loves him too. He says that’s everything, and they hug. He says whatever she decides, he’ll be with her every step of the way.
Nelle starts to leave, and a dude tries to take her purse. She struggles with him, and he pushes her into some crates, and runs off with it. She’s out cold.
Michael sees Carly, and says he has news that should brighten her day – Nelle is leaving town. She says it might not seem like it now, but it’s better for all concerned. She tells him that his father is mixing it up with her lawyer. She has a good idea how, and she’s going to prove it.
Martina comes back into the restaurant after waiting for Carly to leave. She tells Sonny that she tried to spin it into something Carly would believe, and asks if it worked. He says Carly knows him well; she can read between the lines, and even knows what he’s not saying. She’s not going to stop until she finds the truth.
Curtis gives Jordan a flower. He says something happened; maybe Valerie, maybe Andre, maybe both, but it derailed their date. He wants a do-over. He asks if he can escort her to the Nurses Ball. He says couples fall apart because they get into the noise and forget what matters. He tells her not to be like them, and show everyone how fly they are. She says she’ll have to get an amazing dress, but she’s in.
Nina looks at her ring and cries. Don’t do this, Nina.
Anna calls Valentin, but he’s standing right behind her. She says from some of the things he said, she thought she would never see him again. He says, as if he could stay away. He thought he was over her, but can’t fight what they have anymore. She says she can’t either, and suggests they go to the park, but he was hoping something more intimate. Somewhere they can be alone.
At a hospital in London, a nurse goes into a patient’s room. She says everything is going to be all right. Holy! It’s Anna. Omg, I think I know who the Anna in Port Charles is.
On Monday, Franco talks to Jake, Julian is told he could be a free man if he plays his cards right, and the nurse asks Anna if she knows where she is.
Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie
This is still on rotation on a couple of the movie channels. If you were a fan of the BBC show, you will love it. And if you never watched the show, like Sex in the City, the Absolutely Fabulous movie is like a really long, slightly raunchier episode. Summed up simply, the starring protagonists, Edina and Patsy (Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley), are like Lucy and Ethel on crack. In the film, Edina has accidentally killed Kate Moss at a party, so she and Patsy decide to hide in the south of France. Hilarity ensues. Saffron’s daughter, Lola, is now thirteen, and probably smarter than all of them put together. All of the characters from the TV show are back, along with tons of celebrities playing themselves, like Joan Collins, Lulu, Emma Bunton (aka Baby Spice), Jon Hamm, Graham Norton, et al, and of course, Kate Moss. Rebel Wilson shows up as the DDNB – designated do-nothing bitch. One of the highlights for me was Saffy singing Janis Ian’s At Seventeen in a drag club. While all of us have aged since Edina and Patsy made their debut, their antics never get old. Give it a looksee, sweetie darling.
Quotes of the Week
Do you know what a pariah is? * It’s a fish. – Saffron and Edina (Julia Sawalha and Jennifer Saunders), respectively, Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie
The worst thing about living next to a hoarder is the varmints. – someone living next to a hoarder, Hoarding: Buried Alive
Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. – Harriet Beecher Stowe
👵 And since Sunday is Mother’s Day, here is the lovely Juliet, ten years ago last January 11th. I’m pleased to say, all are still present and accounted for.