May 24, 2017 – Don’t Touch the Chimera, NYC Returns to the Berkshires & Two Times the Andy

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny arrives at the Nurses Ball, and Ava wants to jet. He asks why she’s leaving when the party just started.

Lulu asks Josslyn if she’s nervous. She says she is, but keeps reminding herself it’s for a worthy cause. She thought that Carly had said Sonny wasn’t coming, and Carly says he must have changed his mind.

Jason finds the chimera necklace on the floor. Anna accosts Valentin about the Chimera Project. He sees Nina hug Curtis.

Charlotte asks if the Chimera martini shaker is part of the act. and what does it do?  Jake says it’s powerful magic. He tells Charlotte that it’s a surprise, and not to touch it.

In the hospital, Nelle stirs. Kiki asks if she needs anything. Barely conscious, Nelle says, Michael.

Sonny says he has a problem with everything Ava does, and a big one with what she did to Morgan. Scotty comes to her rescue, and escorts her back to the table. Dante asks Sonny what that was about.

Lulu tells Laura that Charlotte is going to be one of Jake’s assistants.

Vaelentin tells Anna that the Chimera is gathering dust where it’s not a threat. Anna, on the other hand, has been one to his marriage and his life. He slides into the seat next to Nina while Lucy talks.

Sam asks Jason what’s wrong, and he shows her the necklace.

Lucy asks if we’re ready for female trouble with a capital T. Emma, Valerie, Amy 2.0 and Kristina perform Brave. Emma is quite a young lady now. I can’t help wondering when they all practiced, especially Emma. It’s a hit. Lucy encourages everyone to bid in the silent auction.

Bobbie sits at Carly’s table. She’s surprised about Sonny showing up, but Carly says the cause is important to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Morgan is gone, and Ava is trading on his name to make herself look good.

Kiki calls Michael. She says she needs to talk to his grandmother. Nelle is doing okay, but could use a friend.

Jason asks Sam if she really thinks it’s a coincidence. Sam wonders if Jake brought it, and Jason says, who else? Who else, indeed. Like any one of five people.

Emma and Charlotte wonder how they can assist, when they can’t even touch the magic trick. Jake says no one else knows how the magic works – only him.

Anna calls Robert, and tells him how proud she is of Emma. She’s not calling about that though. She asks what the Chimera actually does. After he tells her (we don’t hear it), she wonders how it ever got created in the first place.

Valentin asks if Nina is going to ignore him. Curtis thinks he should go back to his own table. Valentin says not without his wife, and begs Nina not to shut him out.

Anna approaches Andre. He says he’s having a good time, and wants to keep it that way. She explains that the person who offended him was her sister.

Nina tells Valentin that she has nothing to say. Valentin says she’s right, the time for talking is over. He gets up.

Valentin goes to Lucy’s dressing room. She says she’s happy about his donation, but it doesn’t cancel out that he shot Doc. He says he wants to up his donation to seven figures. Lucy asks him in exchange for what?

Sonny isn’t going to stop until he finds out how Morgan died. Dante says they know. Sonny says explain the pills then, and tells him about the dosage difference. He says Andre checked with the pharmacy, and Morgan was given the correct dosage. He’s going to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Andre calls the lab.

Valerie forgot her lipstick, and Kristina gives her a commercial for Burt’s Bees. Valerie says it’s perfect, and Kristina says it moisturizes as well. It is nice stuff.

Jason asks Elizabeth where Jake is. He shows her the necklace. Elizabeth wonders if someone gave it to him. No, he bought it himself. Geez. Jake asks what’s going on, and if they’re talking about him.

Valerie asks Jordan and Curtis if they’re enjoying the night, and Jordan compliments her on her performance. When she’s gone, Curtis tells Jordan that’s one way to show you’ve moved on. He tells Nina he hopes she took notes, because she needs to move on from Valentin. She’s not sure she wants to.

Lucy says Obrecht is unable to perform. We hear something that sounds like a bunch of pots and pans clattering backstage. She says they have someone just as rich…er, good. Valentin says this is for his wife, because he loves her. He sits at the piano. She’s mesmerized, and so am I. I can’t tell if it’s really him playing, but if not, they did a nice job with editing that. He sings Billy Joel’s And So It Goes. If Nina doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. Lucy introduces Valentin after the fact, and thanks him. Her dresses are fantastic – kind of nude, with lots of sparkles in strategic places. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Anna leaves, and Nina tries to follow. Curtis stops her, and tells her not to do this to herself; it’s not worth it. Anna asks Valentin to tell her what she needs to know.

Lulu (whose dress matches Charlotte’s) asks if Charlotte isn’t going to get ready, but she doesn’t think there’s going to be an act. Jason asks Jake if he’s seen the necklace before. He asks if it’s Jake’s, but Jake doesn’t say anything. He tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t feel good. Elizabeth asks if he just has stage fright, and Franco offers to go on stage with him. Elizabeth tells him that he doesn’t have to do what he doesn’t want to.

Dante tells Sonny that he has to talk to Ava and Lucy again. Sonny asks why Dante didn’t tell him that Ava was at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Dante says it could be a coincidence.

Carly wonders where Michael is. Josslyn tells her that Michael said something came up, and left. She jets before Carly can ask what came up.

Michael is at the hospital. Kiki tells him that Nelle asked for him. He pulls a chair next to her bed.

Dante says that when Ava’s name is mentioned, Sonny gets reckless. He suggests that Sonny and Ava stay away from each other. Sonny tells Dante he’ll be fine, and Lulu is probably wondering what happened to him. Dante goes back to his table, and Andre tells Sonny that there’s trace evidence of an inert substance in the pill bottle. It’s possible that the crumbled pill was a placebo. We won’t go over all the reasons that’s not how any of this works.

Valentin tells Anna, don’t. He says she and her sister have jeopardized everything he loves. Even worse, he let her, reverting back to what he was, a stuttering Richard III hunchback. He says the only things that matter are his wife and daughter, and if he ever mattered to her, let him alone.

Jake asks if Elizabeth is sure that he doesn’t have to perform; what I something bad happens? Elizabeth says the worst that can happen is they leave early, and everyone is cool with that. Jake is like, okay, no magic show.

Carly wonders what Sonny is doing there, and what he wanted with Ava. I’m totally distracted by Ava’s earrings; I want them so much.

Sonny says, Morgan was taking a placebo? and Andre says that would explain things. Sonny says someone set him up, tampering with his medication so he’d have a breakdown. And he’s going to find out who.

Ava is worried, but Scotty says he covered her tracks. No way is Sonny finding out.

Lucy says it’s a special thrill to introduce a newcomer.

Michael’s phone rings. He asks if it’s time. Josslyn asks why he thought it was a good idea. He tells her that his little sister is a rock star, and he wants everyone to know. He says he’s with her, and so is Nelle.

Lucy introduces Josslyn. Michael puts the phone on speaker. I don’t know the song (and couldn’t find it on Google), but the crowd goes wild. Sonny and Carly give each other a soap opera stare.

Franco says maybe Jake could perform at home. Elizabeth asks where the magic box is.

Charlotte says perhaps she and Emma can do the magic act. They open the box. She says they’ll start with the Chimera martini shaker.

Jason tells Sam that he didn’t like Jake’s reaction to the necklace. Sam wants to go home, but tells him to stay. Griff comes by, and asks if he’s seen Emma. He asks what Jason is doing with Anna’s necklace.

Anna says she understands that Valentin wants to leave past behind, but they’re jeopardizing the people they love. He tells her that the only person who knows about it, is dead. She asks who it is, and he says he sold it to Helena. Like this is a huge surprise.

Charlotte doesn’t know how to open the Chimera. She presses a button on it, and blue lights start flashing.

Nelle says that Michael missed Josslyn’s performance, but he says he just listened to it. He tells her that Josslyn backed him up in coming there.

Ava tells Scotty that she never meant for anything bad to happen; she just did it to protect Kiki. Scotty says doesn’t matter. Morgan is dead. Case closed.

Carly asks Sonny why he’s there. He tells her that he finally has answers about Morgan.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Valentin asks Lulu if there’s a problem, Scotty says Ava has to get out, Anna calls Robert, and Jake tries to stop the Chimera. I’m guessing that Obrecht is going to free herself from whatever closet Lucy and Valentin trapped her in, and it’s going to go off during her performance. Along with Lucy’s clothes coming off.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona is downtown. Carole’s kittens hang from the curtains. Dorinda is packing for the Berkshires.

Bethenny meets with her real estate guy, Frederik Eklund. (Million Dollar Listing: New York premieres tomorrow.) He’s checking out the apartment that she’s getting ready to sell, and she says it’s bittersweet. Frederik lusts after her shoe collection. Me too. And the humongous closet the shoes are in. Frederick tells her they need to de-clutter de-personalize.

Ramona drops by Carole’s place. She starts moving things around on the coffee table, and critiquing Carole’s way of placing things. I’d smack her. They talk about Dorinda’s party, and Luann’s upcoming wedding. Carole says Tom acts more like the bride than Luann.

While walking the dog, Tom and Luann discuss a honeymoon. She suggests South Africa. In her interview, Luann says she loves being married. She’s trying to get used to saying “our” again. Tom complains about gaining weight.

Carole tells Ramona that she thinks Luann is having second thoughts. She says that someone told her that all is not as it seems. We revisit the scene where Barbara is telling Carole that she thinks Luann would rather go through with it and get divorced later. Which, btw, Barbara is seriously miffed about, since she claims she didn’t know it would be on the show. Please. Barbara must be a full-blown idiot. Carole says maybe Luann is just having last minute jitters, but thinks the conversation should be had. Ramona says that she got a text from someone who used to date Tom, and he recently tried to be sexually aggressive with her. She called Tom a “dirty dog,” and said she didn’t think she was the only one he’s groping. Carole wonders if Luann cares. Ramona asks if they’re bad friends if they don’t tell her – or if they do tell her. She reminds Carole about what happened in Miami. We flash back to that, and she says it’s not just one kiss. Carole says maybe Luann is confiding in Dorinda, and Ramona thinks they should talk to her.

It’s Christmas in the Berkshires again. Dorinda messes with some giant balls (hush) that light up. We flash back to the last holiday dinner there, when Dorinda made it nice. She’s going to be more strategic this time, and invite the women in different groups over the course of three days. And yes, Sonja is invited this year.

Sonja thinks she’s cool because she’s in the first group and “invited early.” She arrives with Ramona. Tinsley is also coming after meeting her mother for lunch.

Tinsley’s mother asks if she’s happy in NYC. She’s brought Tinsley’s father’s ashes because she’s taking them to Florida, and Tinsley might want to say good-by. I would have hoped Tinsley had done that already, since he’s been gone for two years. Tinsley gets a drink from the mini-bar. She talks about her mother’s hugs being relative to her weight as a child, and in her interview, says that Southern mothers are particularly critical of their children. They talk about Sonja. Tinsley’s mother hopes Tinsley is appreciative, since Tinsley is sponging off of her.

Sonja complains about Tinsley not making coffee and excluding her when she goes out. Dorinda says she knows a lot about Tinsley’s past, but not who she is today. She thinks Tinsley needs to open up, and hopes over time that she trusts them more.

Tinsley’s mom wants her to have a baby, but Tinsley says she’s not just going to pluck some random guy out. They talk about Tinsley’s dating life.

Dorinda wants the girls to help decorate. She takes her tree seriously, and says it’s a religion. She gives detailed instructions on how the lights should be placed.

Adam’s parents, David and Lola, are in town, and Carole is accompanying them to find Christmas presents for Adam. In her interview, Carole says it didn’t take her two minutes to win Lola over, and parents love her. She says they want grandkids, and Adam wants kids, but she’s not going to be the one having them, since she’s 200 years old. She says what it means for the relationship is still to be determined. David acts exhausted, even though he hasn’t done anything except go along for the ride.

Tinsley gets to the Berkshires. In her interview, she says her mother told her you can never have enough Christmas decorations, but she thinks Dorinda is secretly Mrs. Claus. She does have a lot of them. Sonja picks on Tinsley for having lunch elsewhere. Tinsley keeps explaining that it was her mother.

It’s Dorinda’s birthday. She wants to show Tinsley her cake, but even though it says, “open here,” it’s the wrong side, and the cake has toppled. Dorinda says, enough wine, and the cake will be beautiful. Amen, sister!

Bethenny tells the driver no hookers, because they might have to peel out at midnight. She and Carole act like five-year-olds walking in, but Carole says she thinks the third time is the charm. Dennis has sent Bethenny flowers at Dorinda’s because he knows she needs floral therapy in the Berkshires. She’s just hoping Ramona leaves her alone.

Carole talks to Bethenny alone about Luann. Bethenny wonders if there’s any way they can get her out of it. Luann obviously doesn’t care or doesn’t want to know, so I’m not sure why these women keep wanting to get involved. Unless Andy Cohen is standing there with a pitchfork. I used to think Jeff Probst was the antichrist until Andy came along.

Bethenny says it was reliable information last year, and the same source has it that Tom is straying again. Carole says Bethenny is like the cautionary tale for a whirlwind romance. Bethenny agrees, but says hers wasn’t as bad at this point in time. Bethenny wants to be on a group tag team to tell Luann, as she was on her own in Miami.

Omg, Dorinda has a fat little dog named Lucy who is just precious. The ladies mess with the fireplace, and try to burn down Dorinda’s house by not opening the flue. They sit down for drinks, and Dorinda says that Luann is rock solid about getting married. Carole says she’s heard differently. Ramona says she doesn’t want Luann to be the last to know. In her interview, Dorinda wishes they could talk about someone else. Ramona reads the texts she received. Dorinda hopes they’re taking it the wrong way. Bethenny says the cracks become craters. She says her situation didn’t even start the same way, and look how it ended up. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t want to hear it, but now she’s obligated to say something, so Luann can either leave, stay, or shoot someone. She asks the other women to be with her because she’s afraid.

Dorinda thinks all she’ll get is anger, but Carole says she’s being a good friend. Luann arrives while the ladies are setting out the materials for cookie decorating. Bethenny asks about Luann’s dress, and if she’s all set. Luann talks to Tinsley about finding her own place. Tinsley says Sonja talks smack behind her back, and Luann says welcome to the club. Tinsley tells the ladies that she can’t even talk to Sonja’s assistant without it being a problem. Sonja says she can’t have him doing errands, and she has to treat him professionally. Tinsley claims that she only asked him once to take a package for her. Ramona tells her to face it, she can’t do anything right. Sonja makes up stupid scenarios that could have happened if her assistant dared open the door for Tinsley’s delivery. No way would I live with this woman. No wonder Tinsley ditches her.

Bethenny tells Carole that she’s glad Ramona is keeping her distance. She thinks everyone told Ramona how foolish she looked, and she’s trying to make up for it.

In private, Dorinda tells Luann the saga continues. She asks if Luann is happy, and if she believes Tom is done with other women. She tells Luann about the texts, and says she wanted to come to her directly. She asks if Luann trusts Tom. Luann says she trusts him 100%. She says they don’t check each other’s phones, and Dorinda admits to checking John’s phone, as well she should. Luann says she doesn’t care what anyone says. Dorinda tells her that as long as she doesn’t feel like she’s being pressured, it’s all good. In her interview, Dorinda says at the end of the day, it’s Luann that has to handle this. Luann wonders if the women don’t have anything better to do, and thinks they’re talking about her because they’re missing something in their own lives.

Luann tells Dorinda that Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends, trying to dig up dirt, and poof! Ramona appears.

Next time, two weeks until the wedding, Carole wonders why all these women want to kiss Tom, Bethenny refuses to make a toast, and Ramona and Bethenny have it out.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1990. George Michael’s Freedom video, supermodels, Vogue! The Fly Girls (whose inspiration was part hip-hop, part Ann Margaret), Nelson Mandela’s release, more realistic family sitcoms, Married with Children and Terry Rakolta, Twin Peaks, the first war live on TV (the Gulf War), Home Alone, and Sinead O’Connor shaving her head. The twist on this retrospective show, is that all of the main topics covered are tied to how they’ve influenced today. I like this show almost as much as CNN’s decades series. The biggest revelation this evening? RuPaul finds Ed O’Neill sexy.

🏖 Watch What Happens Live has been blessed with a few of the Beverly Hills Wives stopping by since they’re filming in LA this week. Lisa Vanderpump stopped by the other night with a batch of puppies and I almost passed out. Erika Jayne  dropped in tonight, and Kyle Richards also did a bit with Andy at the beginning of the show. Guest Bethenny Frankel was a hoot, spilling the tea where she could, and joining her, Eric Stonestreet was just delightful. James Kennedy (Vanderpump Rules) has been the house DJ, and Andy brought along the Gay Shark, who has acquired rainbow swim trunks for his trip to the West Coast. Tomorrow, Chelsea Handler is on. I’ll be watching, but she’s not a favorite of mine. I liked her original show when it first aired, but I saw her change over time, becoming more mean than funny. God forgive me, but I was glad when she cried over Hillary losing the election.

 

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