What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Funny. That doesn’t look like GH. It looks like the Sessions testimony. Wake me when it’s over.
3:22 (the time, not a Bible verse) and it looks like it’s not going to be over.
Thank you, FOX, for not bothering with this drivel. At least I got to see my favorite judge, Marilyn Milian, on People’s Court. I suppose this screws up the entire GH rhythm for the week though.
Below Deck Mediterranean
When last we left, Chef Adam was doing his best to make sure the tip is as low as possible. Primary guest Kenny is going to eat onions whether he wants to or not, and no matter how much money he’s spent not to eat them.
The ferry has been delayed, and Adam gripes that the food is going to spoil. Hannah says she can’t look after both the inside and his food, so he should take the initiative. He suggests maybe Bugs should be chief stew, and Hannah suggests they get a chef that can read preference sheets. Bugs is annoyed at being put in the middle, but I’m not sure why she didn’t speak up for Hannah here. The ferry arrives, and champagne corks are popped.
Hannah says she doesn’t need Adam diminishing her rank in front of her first stew. Adam is thrilled to be on the ferry with Malia. He has a burning feeling inside that he wants to pursue. I think that’s called something else, but we’ll leave it there. Hannah tells us that the waterfalls there are the most beautiful in Europe. Seeing them, I’m sure she’s right, although the picnic spot is crowded, and reminiscent of an NYC park in summertime.
Adam says he’s met Kennys before on charters, and they’re his rivals. He thinks Kenny should be appreciative and like onions. Hannah tells Wes about Adam’s attitude. In his interview, Wes says people come out of their shells on charters. You see who they really are, and Adam is an ogre on the inside. Man, is he being polite.
Adam and Malia sneak off to the waterfall. Although it’s not that sneaky, since the rest of the crew notices. Bobby is miffed that he’ll never get his chance. The guests have more shots than I would before going into the water. Adam talks to Malia, who says she likes being on the outside, like the yacht is a prison. He answers that he likes being on the outside with her. Bleh. They talk about what they’re doing after charter season. In her interview, Malia says part of her is thinking that Wes didn’t get the opportunity to come, and yaps about how she’s getting to know two very different guys. Zzzzz…
The guests come back to the boat, more liquor, and the Jacuzzi. Bugs alerts Adam that they’re asking about dinner already. In his interview, Adam says Kenny rubbed him the wrong way, saying that people hire him because they like his food, and “this redneck isn’t going to pull him through the mud.” Honestly, what is wrong with him? Because the guest was given a preference sheet and filled it out with his preferences, this makes him an awful human? Adam is dragging himself through the mud. He puts onions in the soup. A guy, who has paid tens of thousands for his yacht vacation, has one freaking request, and not only can Adam not comply with it, he has to call him nasty names. I swear, if I ever see Adam on the street, we’re having it out. He annoys me more than Puck from The Real World. And that is saying a lot.
The dinner table is decorated in gold, silver and pearls. Love the pearls! Hannah tells the guests they’re doing an obstacle course in the morning, with the crew competing against the guests. Hannah and Lauren serve the soup, and I hold my breath. Kenny asks if it’s onion soup, even though it was presented as lentil. The worst part of the whole thing is how Adam watches them again on the monitor like some creepy voyeur.
Out on deck, Max asks Malia if Adam is her cup of tea, and what about Wes. In his interview, he says he’s glad he’s taken, so he’s out of this. The entrée is lamb and some kind of local vegetables. I’m not a fan of lamb, but it looks fabulous, and I’m intrigued by the vegetable plate. Hopefully, it’s not laden with onions. Wes and Malia go for a walk. Hannah serves the lamb, and the guests joke that they’re vegetarian. Kenny is sure there were onions in the soup. What if he was allergic or it caused some other health problem? He seems like a nice guy too. If I’d paid that much not to eat onions, Adam would be wearing them.
Max tells Bobby that Malia was put off by the Lauren thing, but Bobby thinks he could win her over and is still going to try. Wes says he and Adam used to be buddy-buddy, but it’s not happening now because of Malia. One of the guests falls asleep on the toilet. Apparently, it’s not the first time, and he has a reputation for it.
Bobby asks Malia if she’s up for a chat. He asks her if she’d be interested if it was a different situation. I guess they must all be after her because pickin’s are slim on charter. She’s cute, but it’s not like she belongs on a runway. Malia doesn’t think that Bobby is a bad guy, and he’s her type of guy, but the baggage with Lauren is a blockade. She’s willing to hang out and see if a friendship develops, and he thinks he still has a chance. Actually, he looks pretty good next to Adam.
Breakfast is followed by cocktails. Kenny thinks maybe they’ve set the bar too high for Adam. Hannah doesn’t feel anything is resolved, and becomes all business with Adam. The obstacle course is set up. One of the challenges is carrying an egg on a spoon while wearing a diving suit, which is pretty amusing. Bobby says he feels like Gumby (dammit!). By the time they get to the hotdog eating challenge, it’s more goofing around than anything else. Lauren says the crew really won, but they’re calling it a tie. Captain Sandy arrives with shots. Kenny says it’s been great except for the onions in his food. In her interview, the captain is like, what?
Bugs says everything was perfect between her and Hannah, until Adam said something. My advice is that Bugs should have countered what he said, instead of acquiescing. Kenny talks to Bugs about the onion issue. He thinks they were clear after the first time, and he’s sure there were onions in the soup. Hannah asks if Adam can make chips instead of French fries, but that’s also too hard for him. I’m starting to wonder about his credentials. Maybe he really handed out samples at Costco. The captain asks Adam if he’s putting onions in the food. On deck, Bobby says when he gets his own boat, he’s naming it “See You Next Tuesday,” because he’s really a fourteen-year-old boy, and negates all the good feelings I had for him a few paragraphs ago.
Adam admits to cooking with onions, but claims he didn’t do it after the first time. Captain Sandy asks if he can cook without them. In her interview, she says guests pay top dollar and make out preference sheets for a reason. Thank you. Kenny talks to Hannah about the soup. She asks Bugs about it, but Bugs isn’t sure. Max is concerned that Adam is going to cost them. Hannah approaches Adam about the soup, and he admits to putting onions in it. She asks why he would do that, and he claims you can’t make a good soup without them, and he thought it was funny. Hannah thinks he’s psychotic. She wonders if she should tell Kenny he’s right, and Adam says if she wants to ruin the tip. She calls him a wanker. Ha-ha! He claims he can’t make these people happy, and he didn’t like the way Kenny was talking. Huh? Hannah says she just does her job, and gives the guests what’s on their preference sheets. He asks if that’s a resting bitch face, and the captain overhears. She tells him not to put onions in the food.
Bobby complains that he’s being strategically placed where Malia isn’t. Hannah tells Captain Sandy that her issue isn’t with the onions on the first night, but Adam went out of his way to put them in the food on the second night because he thought it was funny. In her interview, the captain also uses the word “psychotic.” Hannah tells her about how Adam said that Bugs should be chief stew, and thinks he’s directly affecting the guests. Lauren asks Hannah how it’s going, and Hannah tells her about Adam. She wants the rest of the crew to know how he sabotaged them. Bugs and Malia talk. Malia thinks this side of Adam isn’t a good one, and didn’t know it existed.
Time for the guests to depart. It should be interesting. I’d give the rest of them Adam’s part of the tip, purposely cutting him out, like it was a will and I was Joan Crawford. Kenny says the interior and the crew nailed it. He tells Adam that he doesn’t like onions, and Adam breached that. His only suggestion is in the chef area, explaining that they had the same breakfast every day, and feels that if they hadn’t specifically asked for eggs, they wouldn’t have gotten them. Of course not, he would have given them onions. Kenny gives special kudos to Hannah, who he says has extraordinary patience. I don’t think these people were bad at all, and there were plenty of guests who would have totally flipped out over the onion thing.
The crew meets in the main salon. Captain Sandy says that no one was carried off on a stretcher and there were no breakdowns (not sure if she’s referring to the boat, the people, or both), but it wasn’t necessarily a success. She addresses Adam specifically, saying the guests obviously weren’t happy. In her interview, she says she’s pissed off, and if he did it out of spite, she’ll want to meet with him. Shockingly, the tip is the best they’ve had. $20K, or $1,818 each. In his interview, Adam says reality is starting to kick in. Idiot.
Bobby says if he was the captain, Adam would be gone. Wes is getting mixed signals from Malia. The captain asks Adam why. He claims that it was the only way the soup could have any flavor, since he’s never heard of celery, bay leaf, or beef stock. Captain Sandy says next charter, she’s watching him. In her interview, she says that she wants to fire him, but can’t find chef mid-season in Croatia. Where. Is. Ben?
Drama, onions, ego. Hannah is ready to let loose. Lauren pours vodka into her Coke bottle. Adam doesn’t want to go out, but feels like he should show he’s part of the team. Hannah says it’s been awkward with Bugs, but Adam is the only one who should feel awkward. Agreed. At dinner, everyone talks about the guests and how cool they were. Adam says if they hadn’t gotten a tip, he’d be feeling horrible, and offers them his share. Malia respects him for that, but they say no, which he probably figured would happen, so I call bullsh*t. I’d take it. In his interview, Wes alludes that Adam made the gesture for Malia, but money can’t solve being a d*ck. Never a truer word has been spoken.
The crew moves on to a club. Hannah talks to Lauren about what Adam said. She thinks it made Bugs’s head get big. In her interview, Bugs thinks Hannah has something against her. Adam feels emotionally attached, and isn’t sure what’s happening with Wes and Malia, so he runs back to the boat like a middle schooler to the bathroom at a dance. Bugs says he wasn’t feeling the vibe, and Malia says she’ll be right back, because she’s an idiot too. Bobby says that just killed the vibe, and Wes is no longer interested. He says one day she’ll wish she chose the good guy.
Next charter, sparks fly between Hannah and a guest, a guest makes a pass at Bobby, Bugs confronts Hannah, and Captain Sandy says one more screw up and Adam is gone.
A Quote & Meme to Make Up for GH
I don’t give two hoots about civilization. I want to wander in the wild. – Jane Goodall