What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Laura, Doc, and Spencer go to Kelly’s. Spencer says it’s kind of Doc to accommodate him, but he still wants what he had at Windemere. He thinks Charlotte should be embarrassed to call Valentin her father.
Lulu and Charlotte bring Dante’s phone to the station. Charlotte says it looks like the same place where Valentin made the video. Lulu says it is, and Charlotte wonders why, since he’s not a policeman.
Quinn tells Nathan and Amy that pictures are the best sales tool they have. She says traffic on the website spiked as soon as his picture went up. They want to approach the book the same way. His eyes command attention, and attention turns to sales. Nathan says they can’t use his picture.
Jason leaves another message for Sonny, but gets cut off. My mistake, it’s not Kirby; it’s Garvey who’s after Sonny. I can’t help it if he’s one of those interchangeable characters who looks like a Kirby.
Carly and Sonny get caught in the rain. She wants to put something dry on, but he tells her she looks great as is.
Quinn says a new author like Nathan is in no position to make demands. Amy says he doesn’t think of himself as an author, just a typical guy giving advice. People feel more comfortable approaching him from behind a keyboard. Quinn says his face is the book, but Nathan says it’s about offering people sound guidance. She says no picture, no publisher; his face is the brand.
Nina gives Nelle some instructions. She says it’s a lot of work because they’re so backed up, but if an article holds Nelle’s interest, bring it to her attention. Nina notices a bracelet Nelle has on that Charlotte made out of macaroni. She has one too.
Dante sits Charlotte on his desk. He asks if she remembers what happened at the Nurses Ball. She says everyone was scared. Lulu says Valentin had to answer some questions about it, so he made the video there too. Dante says there are other people who have questions, and he went to answer them. Charlotte says then he’ll come back like he promised.
Jason thinks he should call Max, but Sam isn’t too sure. Jason is having enough trouble convincing them he’s out of the business. Michael knocks on the door. He has paperwork for Jason; they’re reorganizing the family trust. Jason tells him that Sonny’s phone keeps dropping out of service. Michael says that he and Carly are in Puerto Rico, and to try the landline. He asks if it’s important, and Jason says it could be.
Sonny makes a fire, and the rain is REALLY LOUD. So LOUD, I can barely hear them. Lightning strikes, and Carly jumps into Sonny’s arms. She says sorry, it seemed so close. The electricity goes out, but he says the storm shouldn’t last too long. She reminds him of when they were trapped for four days, and he said it was only going to be a couple of hours. She says it was one of her favorite times there. She lights some candles, and he talks about the time they taught the boys to play poker. She says that Sonny almost folded to let Morgan win.
Nathan tells Quinn that he appreciates the meeting, and Amy asks to confer with her client. In the hallway, Nathan tells Amy that he wants to help, but he can’t let her put his face on the book. Amy says she has a fix, but he says he can’t do his job with people thinking he’s an advice columnist. She asks him to let her try and save the deal. He says as long as his face doesn’t end up on a book cover. Amy tells Quinn they’ll do the photo shoot.
Spencer asks if anyone has been back to Windemere, but Laura wants to talk about something more pleasant. Spencer wants to address the issue of his stolen inheritance, but she says it wasn’t stolen. Doc explains about the will, and how the estate went to Valentin. Spencer lost his claim when Stavros died. They didn’t realize it, but it’s always belonged to Valentin. Spencer asks why Valentin didn’t claim it before, and Laura says it was only made known after Helena died. He asks what happens if Valentin goes to prison, and Laura tells him that Nina will probably decide.
Nina says she keeps telling herself it’s for the best; Lulu is Charlotte’s biological mother, and it might confuse her. Nelle says that isn’t true. She got to see the family up close, and Charlotte adores her. Nina says she did, but she’s living with Lulu now. Nelle thinks it’s best for Nina to stay in Charlotte’s life; there’s nothing confusing about a mom and a stepmom. Nina says Lulu wouldn’t be happy with it, but Nelle says Charlotte’s happiness is more important than Lulu’s comfort level.
Jason tells Michael that an old associate might be coming after Sonny. Michael wonders why Julian would say anything, and Sam says he claims that he’s trying to be better person, even though they don’t believe it. Michael says he’ll give Max the guy’s name, and have him tighten security. Jason asks if he’s sure that’s all. Michael promises that he’s not going anywhere near his father’s business, but that brings him to other reason he’s here. He asks if Jason wants to join him at ELQ.
Carly and Sonny drink to the best hurricane he can remember. She tells Sonny that he makes strong drinks, and he says they just have to relax and wait out the storm. She says it’s better than waiting at the airport. They both hear some noise outside, and Carly asks, what’s that? Sonny tells her to stay there and he’ll check.
Amy tells Quinn that they’ll do the shoot on Nathan’s terms. They’re not to show his face full to the camera. They want to preserve the mystery, so he’s in a shadow and only one eye is shown. Quinn says the customer needs a reason to pick up the book in the first place, and Amy says, exactly. A man’s face is in the shadow, with one brilliant blue eye showing; it makes them curious pick up the book, and it’s sold. Quinn says they’ll do it her way.
Lulu says there are new things Charlotte is getting used to, like thinking of them as family. Charlotte says papa and Nina are family too. Lulu says he had to go away, and truthfully, none of them know when he’s coming back, but she has plenty of people who love her. Charlotte says sometimes Spencer isn’t nice, and Lulu says that Charlotte can always come to her.
Nina looks at the family photo on her desk. Nelle comes into the office, and says she found something Nina might like. It’s a backstage account of a fashion show from an anonymous dresser. Nina likes a new point of view, and says she’ll read it. She asks Nelle to pick up a quinoa/kale salad that Kelly’s makes special for her, and tells Nelle to get lunch for herself too.
Michael talks about sustainable energy sources getting pushed back from Ned, and how he needs someone to get accurate feedback on the profitability. He tells Jason that there’s a lot of travel involved. Jason says he has no experience, but Michael says he’s a problem solver. When going over qualifications for a project manager, he realized Jason would be perfect.
Carly picks up a fireplace poker, and almost hits Sonny. He says good thing he checked. An intruder is outside, and it’s no one she wants to mess with. I’m thinking it’s a racoon or something.
Michael needs someone he can trust, and can’t think of anyone better, but Jason says it’s not the right time. He says Michael will need him to be away, and he’s been away enough. Sam says they can make it work. Michael gets a text from Nelle wanting to meet at Kelly’s, and he replies that he’s on his way. Sam asks if there’s a time limit, and Michael tells her the middle of next month. She asks if they can think about it for a couple of days, and he says okay, but needs to fill the position asap. He leaves, and Jason asks if she’s trying to get rid of him. Sam says that she wants him to have a challenge not involving Sonny
Carly says that parrot is still here? It’s Tito, the mean escape artist parrot. She asks if he’s okay with a rogue parrot that scared her to death, and tries to bite the guests. Sonny asks why she’s so jumpy.
Jason didn’t realize that Sam was still worried about Sonny. She says he seems fixated on warning him, and turned Michael down without even thinking about it. She wonders if he’s worried that he’ll be away if something happens to Sonny.
Quinn says once contracts are signed, they’ll schedule the photo shoot. She thinks it has mass appeal, and Man Landers is compelling. She’s overnighting the contracts. In the hallway, Amy is thrilled. She thinks the mystery man thing works for them, and thanks Nathan for trusting her and not walking out. She says it’s a huge deal for her and her brother, and hugs him.
Spencer asks what Nina has to do with it; a virtual stranger gets to decide the fate of Windemere? Laura says Valentin’s team of lawyers are probably hashing it out, and he asks if it wasn’t Shakespeare who said kill all the lawyers? He goes to bathroom, and Laura tells Doc that she was hoping boarding school would reign in his behavior. Doc says it helps create distance between him and his grief, and he keeps control with things as they were. Laura thanks him, and he says it’s been a blessing. They’ve fulfilled his life in ways he never imagined. They kiss.
Michael asks Nelle what the good news is, and she tells him about the job at Crimson. She says he was right. The bird pooping on her shoulder might have been good luck, and she thinks things are turning around.
Amy understands what an imposition it is, and how Nathan isn’t comfortable, but Nathan says he’s glad to help. She says Chet would do the same in his position, because he’s a good person. He says he’s doing it for her.
Michael asks how Nelle decided on fashion publication, and Nelle says it decided on her. She thinks it’s going to be a good fit. Michael says they have to celebrate. She says she’s just there to pick up lunch. He says ELQ is sponsoring a concert in park, and asks her to go with him.
Sam says she’d know Jason was safe if he worked for Michael. He says he’ll be right here, and not overseas working for Sonny or troubleshooting for ELQ. He says he doesn’t regret leaving Sonny’s business. He says he’s worried though, and wants to fly down. She says he can’t
Sonny tells Carly to relax. She says everywhere she looks, she sees the boys and goes over memories. She says the four of them were together, and there was enough time for everything. Sonny says time ran out. They look sadly at each other.
Nathan asks if Charlotte is joining the PCPD, but Lulu says they’re headed to Lila’s Kids. Dante says thanks for the phone, and asks how Nathan is.
Nelle asks if it’s a date, and Michael asks if they’re allowed. She says yes, and tells him she’ll see him later.
Doc thinks Spencer’s been gone a long time, and goes to check. Nelle says hello to Laura, and asks how Charlotte is. Laura says she’s enjoying Lila’s Kids, especially the arts and crafts. Doc comes back, saying that Spencer is gone.
Spencer walks into Nina’s office. He asks if he’s addressing Nina Reeves or Nina Cassadine, and says they need to talk.
Sam says Jason claimed he didn’t want to be part of the business. He says he just wants Sonny to know there’s a threat. Sam says she’s coming with him.
Carly tells Sonny that she sees Morgan everywhere on the island, and the worst thing that could happen really happened. Sonny says their son is gone. Carly says that no matter how happy you are, it’s just a moment that can disappear. He tells her thinking that way robs them of what they have right now. he says maybe they can be happy again. They kiss. Someone lurks in the shadows.
Tomorrow, Laura looks for Spencer, Jordan wants to cool things off with Curtis, and Sam isn’t letting Jason out of her sight.
The Real Housewives of New York City
Carole meets Tinsley for breakfast. Tinsley says her mother is coming to town, and accompanying her to look for apartments. They talk about going to the NY Botanical Garden Winter Wonderland Ball, and Carole looks up the pictures online, using her phone. Tinsley is happy to be in the press for something good. She says she’s glad to be back in the swing of things, and that she’s still going to counseling for what happened to her. Carole says she should redefine herself, starting with cutting her hair. In her interview, Carole says reinvention is not repetition. Tinsley says she’s not changing her look or her life.
Sonja packs for her trip, while Frenchie makes hors d’oevres. He’s going to be spending part of his time in Paris. Sonja says she doesn’t like when he walks in on her in the bathroom, and he tells her she should close the door. She says Tinsley keeps saying she’s leaving, but she wants to make sure that Tinsley is comfortable back in the city first. Sonja talks to Frenchie about how the girls are gossiping. Frenchie says he doesn’t like that they make a bigger deal out of Rocco than he is. In her interview, Sonja says she has a good time with Rocco, and until she doesn’t, she’s going to see him.
Ramona facetimes with Ashley. She’s proud of herself for redecorating without a decorator. I had to do that after we had a flood, and didn’t think it was that huge of an accomplishment. She’s having a sort of housewarming party, and invited Bethenny, wanting to bridge the gap. Ashley thinks she should give it space, and then try to straighten it out for the sake of their play friend group.
Tinsley and realtor friend Chris meet with her mother, Dale. Chris shows them a four-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment that’s only nine grand a month. Tinsley says her mother has no idea what downtown is, and thinks Manhattan is only the Upper East Side. They move on.
Carole’s friend/interior designer, John, arrives. She wants to get her 60-year-old couch recovered. She dumps fabric swatches out of a tote bag. John thinks cat-friendly is the way to go. Adam shows up, and Carole gives him some of the stuff he left behind. In her interview, she says things are going much better now that Adam has moved out, since she lives in a tiny apartment. Her definition of tiny being different from mine. The disagree over who owns a Buddha head. Omg, this is so high school.
Dale is much more approving of the next apartment. It is pretty impressive, and also nine thousand a month. Chris thinks it’s more bang for her buck and much more “her.” Tinsley is afraid of moving too fast, but won’t feel like she’s really back until she has her own place. She starts to get teary, and Dale suggests staying at a hotel. The apartment has its own elevator, and I want to cry.
Frederik visits Bethenny’s loft, and says that it smells cleaner. We flash back to him telling her it’s too cluttered. He thinks it looks a lot better and you can breathe now. He says get rid of the bar and they’ll get five and a quarter (million). Bethenny has spent a lot on the bar, and is concerned about it breaking if they try to move it.
Carole calls Dorinda, asking if she’s packed for Washington, where they’re going to protest at the Women’s March. They’re leaving in the morning. Carole is taking her lucky monkey.
Sonja meets Rocco at a bar and bakery. He tells her that Frank Sinatra practically lived there. In her interview, Sonja says she’s between a Rocco and a hard place. Since Frenchie knows about Rocco, she now has to tell Rocco about Frenchie. Rocco has had the place closed so that they can have dinner privately. They discuss Tom, and Rocco says he cheated when he was young. Sonja starts to stammer, and tells him about taking a complete stranger home one night. She thought he was going back to Paris, but now he’s smitten with her. She dances around the fact that he’s moved in. She tells Rocco that there aren’t any more guys in her life like either one of them. If I didn’t know what she was saying, I would have no idea what she was saying. Rocco says anyone can have sex, but friendship is important. In her interview, Sonja says Frenchie is possibly an infatuation, while Rocco is in it for the long haul. Rocco asks where she thinks it’s going with them, and Sonja answers without answering. They toast to the next kiss.
Dorinda and Carole march. We see lots of pink hats. Dorinda’s daughter, Hannah, joins them as well. Carole says she wants to hold this administration accountable, and feels they’re standing on the right side of history. Dorinda feels like a better person for being involved, and says this is huge. Hannah is proud to be a woman. It’s all well and good, but sounds like the Occupy Wall Street thing, where the protesters never really said what they were protesting about. Today’s word for this whole episode is, vague.
Tinsley wants to get rid of the tattoo of her husband’s initials, and her friend Anika says she didn’t even take her ex’s last name. Ha-ha! Ramona gets ready for her party. She has a cool flat screen TV where a non-Yule log is burning. Carole thinks Ramona is more traditional than the apartment reflects, and that she’s sporting an I Dream of Jeannie vibe. Dale compliments Ramona on her high ponytail. Dorinda presents her with a candle. Harry arrives. Ramona thinks she’s the only one he hasn’t dated. He asks about Sonja, who’s late. Tinsley has known him forever, but wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. He makes inappropriate comments and follows her.
Sonja blows in. She’s not drinking again, and goes the other way when she sees Harry. Too late; he’s seen her. She tells him she’s turned a new leaf, and he’s in Paris. Everyone makes small talk. Luann is happy that everyone is happy for her and Tom. She assumes Bethenny isn’t coming, and Dorinda says that Ramona and Bethenny aren’t talking. Ramona says she did invite Bethenny, but she RSVP’d she wasn’t coming. In her interview, Ramona thinks the RSVP is a step forward. Carole suggest that Ramona call or text privately, but Ramona wanted to show there were no hard feelings – even though Bethenny was “as bad as [she] was.” Here comes that backhand. She tells Carole she doesn’t remember exactly what she said, and Carole tells her that she’d had too much to drink. Dorinda says she uses alcohol as an excuse all the time. Ha-ha! Ramona says she loves Bethenny, and does want to apologize. Harry bugs Sonja.
Ramona says she wasn’t really thinking when she made up the guest list. Missy, who’d thought she was dating Tom and walked in on him with Luann, is there. Tom tells Luann that Missy is happy for them. In her interview, Luann says it’s healthy to be friends with your exes. Harry pumps Missy for the deets, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Dorinda vogues. Sonja says that Ramona is a pot stirrer, like we didn’t know, and that Ramona has been telling her what everything cost. They hear something crash in another room, and Sonja calls out, $12.99!
Next time, Bethenny wants to go snowboarding, Tinsley goes to therapy, and Dorinda comes for Sonja at yet another dinner fail.
🍲 On MasterChef, lifeguards were fed, but I was left with the question of wth is a purple green bean? If it’s purple, how can it be green? I have to admit to being a little happy when contestant Jennifer’s pork was undercooked. She’s a debt collector who claims her job is stressful, but I’ll bet it’s not nearly as stressful as it is for the people she hounds. Gordon basically said she let a setback cause her to “disintegrate.” Sadly, the balcony got polled, and she got to stay. She seems like a real jerk who can barely form a sentence, so there’s hope for more mistakes.
🎣 The challenge teams on The f Word were Slaw & Order (cops from Peachtree, GA – a gorgeous town) vs the The Food Bosses (a family who moved from the big city to a simpler life in rural TN). They made a New York strip steak with a dry rub, sautéed mushrooms, and potatoes. Andy Cohen had a cook-off with Gordon, and although I missed what they were cooking, Andy burned it. He doesn’t exactly strike me as the chef type. More like a Seamless customer. Joel McKale did some grilling, and Gordon did some scuba diving. He caught and cooked some spiky Caribbean pest fish that don’t belong in Islamorada, Florida, but make a tasty meal. Leslie Jones (love her! and she looks fantastic!) discussed grits and other food with Gordon. She also did a guess-the-food game, and we’ve all been forewarned that we probably don’t want to eat durian fruit. Or grasshoppers.
Gordon periodically checks with the diners about the team challenge, and I laughed when one said the potatoes were like something he’d make in the middle of the night when he was drunk. Personally, that’s when I prefer a can of Chef Boyardee anything. On Father’s Day, Gordon and daughter Mathilda challenged the world record holders, the McCurdys, for the number of eggs cracked with one hand. No shells in the glass, and one hand behind the back. I might be good for two or three. Maybe one. The McCurdys kept their title, bringing up their total as well. The Food Bosses won the challenge by a narrow margin. Next week, Gordon goes undercover again, and on a lake trip.
⌛ Andy Cohen: Then & Now brought us Being Rich: the 80s tonight, and how those spending habits then affect us now. Erika Girardi explained that money only brings out who you really are – if you’re a poor a-hole, you’ll be a rich a-hole. Mega-mansions; Donald Trump’s golden penthouse; the Playboy mansion (purchased in the 70s for one million), which Mauricio Umansky just sold for $100 million to Hugh Hefner’s neighbor, under the proviso that Hugh gets to live there in perpetuity, which is a scary thought; and Lisa Vanderpump’s Villa Rosa (Giggy’s house!). They’ve downsized since then, but she told us that as long as she and Ken have their own bathrooms, they’ll stay married. I understand. Kyle Richards said that today it’s all about the “smart house,” but I say no thanks. I’ve read Ray Bradbury’s short stories. A parade of amazing weddings came next. Carson Kressley weighed in on the topic, and I noticed he was wearing some seriously distressed jeans with a nice sportcoat, tie and pocket square. Shame on him. Larry Fortensky, the first trophy husband, is discussed, and it’s pointed out that while lavish weddings were once the thing, now it’s secret weddings a la Adele or Branjelina. Body maintenance was kept a secret in the 80s, but not really. One of Andy’s guests suggested that one day we’ll be able to download our soul into the cloud, and I almost fell off my chair laughing. Pre-nups! The Cat Lady! Who, btw, got billions in alimony, with the caveat that she can’t use any of it on plastic surgery. Greed is good, and Silicon Valley rich vs hedge fund rich. Bill Gates is worth $86 billion today, just in case you were wondering. Private jets, limos and yachts, and Robin Leach revealing that the most outrageous limo had a landing pad, hot tub, and a putting green. It was all about exclusivity and excess. Ah, the good old days. I miss them, and I’ll miss this show, as it’s the season finale. I love a good retrospective.