What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Shahs of Sunset
Reza meets Mike for lunch. They discuss Shervin’s party and their severe hangovers. They talk about Shabbat. Mike says he’d be a nutcase If he didn’t have it in his life. He’s been through a lot this year, and hasn’t seen his family in Israel for over ten years. He says the spirituality of Israel is insane, and Reza suggests they go. He connects with his Jewish side and wants to be closer to it. He shows us the mezuzah in his and Adam’s new home. I have one too. It was included with my Queens apartment, and I loved it so much, I brought it with me when I moved. MJ joins the guys. Reza asks what she thinks about the vacation, but MJ is concerned about her sick father. Reza thinks it might be good for her to get away for a while. She tells him book it before she changes her mind. In her interview, she says she needs a break, and needs to do something besides worry about her dad.
Asa is getting ready to open a boutique, since she’s keeping caftans in the freezer. The rent is $10K, but Asa says, high risk, high success. Mona, the landlord, stops by, and I’m not sure what to say. He’s a walking piece of performance art, and shows us his eyelash nipples. Asa needs permits, so she burns sage… or something. The building isn’t far from the beach, and she says obtaining a permit from the Coastal Commission is difficult.
GG is walking in a Fashion Week show, so she and her mother are meeting with the designer, Erik. He wants her to sparkle, and has her put on a sequined romper. He explains how he wants her to walk, and her mother fusses with the garment, wanting to change the design. Erik is expecting 800 to 1000 people, and this makes GG nervous, because for someone who is so loud and aggressive, she doesn’t like people looking at her.
Reza is having a peace in the Middle East inspired Halloween party. Because, why not? He breaks down his crew for us, pointing out how they represent Jews and Muslims. He says even though Mike is totally into his Jewish roots, he’ll eat a shrimp in a hot minute. Reza is half-Muslim, half-Jewish, and all gay, and tells us he’s all mixed up. The wants the guests to dress in middle eastern costume. Reza talks about how gay kids are persecuted there, and says that the way he deals with the sad part of life, is to make fun of the most painful aspect. He meets Destiney in some weird prop store that even has fake kilos of heroin and clothing for suicide bombers. He asks Destiney to come on the trip, since Adam is starting a new job and can’t make it. It must be nice to be able to afford flying half-way across the world on a moment’s notice.
Tommy and MJ go to a Korean barbecue restaurant. She’s never had it before. Omg, she’s in for a treat. They have menus on iPads, which is very Gordon Ramsay. MJ says that she and Tommy need to keep it fresh and sexy, so they continue to date. He toasts to health and happiness. MJ looks pensive, and when he asks what’s up, she tells him that she wants to get pregnant. Immediately. He thinks they have decisions to make and be responsible adults. He tells her that he needs to quit smoking, and she needs to cut back on drinking. We flash back to when MJ froze her eggs, but she thinks there’s a solid chance to do it au naturale. Each thinks the other will make a great parent, and Tommy says he’s down with it. They’re picking up ovulation sticks on their way home.
GG gets her runway makeup done, and designer Erik offers her champagne. He tells them to make her look crazy. I’m not touching that, but Reza would. GG’s makeup looks almost like a raccoon mask of black and blue. Janice Dickinson comes in with the outfit GG is supposed to wear. GG asks Erik what’s going on, and he says he’ll find another outfit. GG tells Reza that he should find that old ass bitch something else. She wonders how Janice can walk around, much less walk a runway, when she’s from the Flintstone era. I like Janice, but have to laugh. She’d probably say that about herself.
GG is like, hell no, and having a hard time not turning into her alter-ego Lochnessa. Erik gives her another outfit, and Lochnessa gets put to bed. The outfit is just as cute – a sparkly robe over a two-piece althleisure/underwear set. Reza tells Shervin about the Israel idea, saying he’s feeling “Jewy.” He wonders if Shervin would be open to it, but Shervin thinks his business interests might be a problem. Reza wonders if he’s doing business with the Sultan of Brunei. Reza invites GG. She says something about them wanting bomb Iran, and a champagne cork pops, startling all of us. GG thinks Reza is a walking oxymoron. Reza says screw Iran, and tells her that his argument isn’t with the people, but the government.
Everyone takes their seats. GG is messing with the bow on the front of the robe, wondering which way it’s supposed to go, and I’m wondering why someone isn’t helping her get dressed. She tells us that this job is the start of responsibility for her. GG looks awesome. She trips a little on her walk out, but catches herself and does well. She comes out at the end with Erik and Janice. She says that she’s never doing it again though, unless Chanel calls.
GG and Asa go to a pumpkin patch. GG tells her about the fashion show. Asa explains that she’s never bought a pumpkin for Thanksgiving, and GG corrects her, saying it’s for Halloween. I assume that Asa has never gotten a pumpkin for that holiday either, because this only confuses her. She asks if they’re died or natural. Has she never even seen a pumpkin before? Shervin joins them.
There’s a carnival game there – the one where you throw Ping-Pong balls into goldfish bowls to win a fish. What is this place? They talk about the Israel trip. Shervin says he feels weird about it. GG says even though she was born in the US, she’s still Iranian. She goes there every year, and feels creeped out about a place that she thinks is negative toward her culture. She thinks they should try to express their feelings to Reza in a way that no one gets offended. Good luck with that.
MJ makes Tommy pinky swear to be the master of his domain. (Seinfeld reference – google it.) She wants a baby now. She wants to see her bloodline continue, and says that if she gets pregnant, they have to make a list for the wedding. Tommy jokes they could get married in the delivery room, but MJ doesn’t think it’s funny. He reads the instructions for the ovulation test, which is more complicated than a pregnancy test. She’s not ovulating, and worries what if it never happens? She’s going to do everything she can to ovulate (I’m not kidding, she said that), and is willing to spend her life’s savings on diapers.
Shervin and Annalise visit GG. There was a fuel leak on the plane, so Annalise is staying in the US longer. GG wants to put all the old out, so she’s moving. She has boxes she hasn’t touched since the last move, and I identify. She has one room to go, and it’s a mish-mash of all kinds of stuff. She says hoarding isn’t a disease; it’s being smart, because everyone loves vintage. Oh yeah? Tell that to eBay. I have a store there, and they’re trying to get rid of the the small sellers who offer those things, in favor of sellers like Sears and Amazon. Mini rant. Mike joins them.
Mike has a moving company now. He says it’s one skill that robots can never take over. His guys come in, and start moving and packing things. He says that what he lacks in experience, he makes up for with hard work and being involved. GG says that after the move, she’ll be ready to go on a trip. She says she has reservations about going to Israel though. Mike understands the hesitation, since he was afraid to go to Turkey. Mike tells them that he has relatives in Israel, and family is everything; they’ll welcome his friends with open arms. GG thinks she won’t be accepted. Mike says if she doesn’t go now, she never will.
Tommy is watching sports, while MJ attends Reza’s party. He wants to get some testosterone going.
Reza wants to get everyone on board for going to Israel. It’s about peace, acceptance, and respect. He and Adam are dressed as rabbis, but Adam thinks they look Amish. GG is totally burkafied. She says Iran isn’t what people think it is when it comes to dress code. When she’s in Iran, she only wears a headscarf, and a burka isn’t a requirement, only having certain areas covered. Asa comes as world peace, where she’s decorated her expanding middle as a globe with a peace sign on it. In his interview, Reza complains that the one time he needs her to come looking like she normally does, she changes it up. Shervin is an immigrant from the 70s, and basically looks like a pimp in a 70s movie. Mike has a Moses riff going on, and MJ is a skeleton, representing the lives lost. GG’s costume is starting to annoy her, and it’s hard to drink while wearing it, so she ditches the burka. Mike waves his staff in the air like he just don’t care. Reza says they’re very United Nations, which was the vibe he was going for.
Shervin wants to go to Israel, but GG isn’t cool with the conflict with Iran. Reza asks if they’re coming. Shervin wonders if he’ll be welcome. Reza says how would they even know what religion he is? Mike insists they accept everyone, and he and GG nearly get in an argument about who wants to nuke who. GG says that she was cool until Reza said screw Iran. Reza apologizes. He says Iranian people and the land they come from is beautiful, but the government is another story. Asa says it’s bringing up feelings, and they have to respect each other, and learn from the trip. GG agrees to come.
Next time, Adam and Reza talk kids, the gang is Israel bound, and then airport detained. Mike asks how come the only real Jew is getting detained?
The Throne Game
Jon Snow finally got to Dragonstone. Look out for that low-flying dragon! The Red Woman claimed she has brought ice and fire together, but doesn’t exactly want to run into John again. I’ve decided that while Varys does look out for himself, he’s probably the one person who wants what’s best for the kingdom.
Useless Theon claimed he tried to save Yara, who Euron took prisoner, along with Ellaria and her daughter, but no one is buying that story. Cersei told Euron that he’d have his heart’s desires when the war is won, but I’m not so sure they’re on the same page with what those desires are. Cersei did make a good point to Ellaria that Oberyn shouldn’t have taunted Ser Gregor, and would have won the match had he left him alone to die. Instead, he got his head squashed like a grape. That’s pretty much what I said at the time. Dany agreed to let Jon mine the dragonglass, and give him whatever help he needs. Sansa got her command on in Jon’s absence, and Littlefinger continued to try to get on her good side. Bran made it back, but explained to Sansa that he couldn’t be Lord of anything, since he’s now the Three-Eyed Raven and sees all. He saw her in a wedding dress, but she didn’t want to stick around to hear who the next lucky man is.
The Maester poked and prodded at Ser Jorah, who is apparently cured of greyscale. Sam thought he was in trouble, but I thought they should capitalize on this find. Jorah said that he’s heading back to be with Dany, where he belongs. After he chided Sam for a while, the Maester gave him a pat on the back for knowing how to read instructions, and told him to be proud. But his reward is not getting kicked out and still getting to do the grunt work.
Tyrion explained that no one has ever taken Casterly Rock (I could listen to Peter Dinklage talk all day), and they’ll be ready. His father built everything, but wanted the lowest person he could find to build the sewers. That would be Tyrion, who decided to build something for himself – a passageway from the sea. The Unsullied used this information to get inside, killing a bunch of soldiers once they got there, but then they wondered where the rest were. Tyrion told Dany that Cersei’s armies fight out of fear, while hers fight for freedom and the person who gave it to them, and they’ll triumph. Meanwhile, Jaime gathered the rest of the troops, and overtook House Tyrell. Oleanna was wise to Jaime and Cersei sleeping together, and predicted that Cersei would be the end of Jaime. Jaime, being the somewhat decent dude he is, talked Cersei out of flaying Oleanna alive, and brought poison for her to drink, one that would cause her no pain. I wasn’t happy to see Oleanna leaving the canvas, but she got her last digs in.
When Jaime told her that there would be no pain, she drank the poison, saying that she’d hate to die like Joffrey, and how horrible it must have been for Jaime as a father, letting fly that she knew that too. But that wasn’t the best part. Oleanna told Jaime that it was horrible for her too; it wasn’t what she’d intended, but she’d never seen the poison work before. She told him that she wanted him to tell Cersei, that she wanted Cersei to know it was her. I swear, Jaime smiled slightly at that point, and it would make sense. He does have a lot of admiration for a clever enemy. We didn’t have to see Oleanna die, and I appreciated that. It was a fast hour and a satisfying ending.
Next time, Dany has had enough of clever plans; it’s time to release the Kraken dragons.
BTW, Hot Pie now owns a bakery called You Know Nothing John Dough.