August 8, 2017 – Sam Gets the Truth, Mama Rose is on the Warpath & a Croatian Farewell


What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)



General Hospital

Olivia-F-now-Q presents cannolis to Dillon and he’s impressed. She’s impressed with the kitchen at the Quartermaine mansion. Monica wants a word with her.

Hayden says they’re taking their first vacation to Zanzibar. She says it will be amazing and just what they need, getting as far away as possible.

Michael hasn’t had any sleep. Nelle asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s been here before. Nelle asks if Sonny has a habit of getting ambushed and shot, and Michael is like, sorta. She tells him that Sonny’s call would have been closer if not for Josslyn’s friend. Michael wonders why a shell casing necklace, and Nelle thinks that Oscar didn’t know what it was. Michael hopes it was a friendship bullet casing necklace since Josslyn is too young to date. Carly comes by and gives Michael the good news that Sonny is safe.

Even though she doesn’t want to, Josslyn tells Oscar that she has to give the necklace back to him.

Jason finds Sam’s room empty. Deanna wonders where she went.

Sam tells Sonny that the doctors say she’s going to recover, but parts of her mind are a blur, and what she remembers doesn’t make sense. Sonny says they’ll figure it out together – before she shoots someone else the way she shot him. Way to drop that bomb.

We hear a bunch of crashing and banging. Cook is laying waste to the kitchen. Monica says she guards her territory like a well-trained attack dog. Olivia says the kitchen is the heart of the home, but Monica says at the mansion, it’s cook’s domain. She says it should be a nice break to have someone else do the cooking, but Olivia says not for her. Monica suggests she feed her soul at the MetroCourt. Monica tells her not to feel bad, since she’s not allowed in kitchen either. Olivia says she’ll never be a part of the family.

Finn doesn’t know if he can take off work, but Hayden says that Monica owes him. He says she saved his job. She says soon they’ll be consumed with wedding prep and then she’ll be too pregnant to do any prep. She says this will be their last chance in a while to get away. Finn asks if she’s feeling all right. She says she’s just excited, and it’s the best thing for them. Finn says he’s in under one condition – they make it their honeymoon

Josslyn explains to Oscar that she loves the necklace. It’s awesome, and no one has ever made anything for her before. She thinks it’s special. He asks why she has to give it back. She says her mom will get the wrong idea and flip out. She tells him it was made from a bullet.

Carly says Sonny is almost back to his old self. Nelle excuses herself to get back to work. Carly says she couldn’t have found Sonny without Nelle’s help.

Sam tells Sonny that bits and pieces are coming back, but she doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and not. He tells her it’s okay. She says he’s part of her family, and she’d never want to hurt him. Sonny says it’s not her, the same way it’s not him when he’s in a manic episode. She says it means she’s really sick, and what else is she capable of?

Dillon doesn’t know how Ned doesn’t weigh 5000 pounds, and Ned says restraint. He told Michael he’d help him out, but he’s having trouble with the ELQ numbers. He thinks the company needs to refocus. Dillon says he’s investing a lot of time for someone who doesn’t work there much. He wonders if he’s angling for Michael’s job, but Ned says he has no desire to run the company. Dillon says it’s who he is; he’s a player. He asks how long Ned is going to pretend he doesn’t want to play.

Hayden says the trip is in 36 hours, and Finn says if it’s going to be a honeymoon, then they should get married now. She says they’ll have to kiss a big wedding good-by. He’s like, oh, no. She asks if he’s 100% sure. Finn didn’t think it was possible for him to be sure like that again, but it is. As far as he’s concerned, the sooner they get started, the better. Hayden can’t wait. Jared is at the door, saying he can’t either, and asks wait for what?

Carly says if Nelle and Michael hadn’t put everything together, she wouldn’t have found Sonny. She wonders how they got the shell casing to begin with.

Josslyn tells Oscar it’s a bullet casing, technically a leftover, but he didn’t know that. She says they were walking around while Sonny was in the pit waiting for someone to save him. Oscar says it all worked out, and Josslyn says no thanks to them, but he says if she hadn’t agreed to come out, he wouldn’t have found the casing. If that hadn’t happened, her stepdad wouldn’t have been saved. He says she has to keep it. It’s her reward for being a hero.

Sam asks Sonny to walk her through what happened. He’d just found out where Spencer was when she showed up. She says it’s like she’s watching it happen to someone else. She says she was terrified the whole time. She started seeing him and he was telling her he was taking Jason away. She’s never felt that way about him. He tells her she was sick. She says she’ll never understand it. She starts to cry. He says it was obvious something was wrong and he tried to talk her down. She says she kicked him into that hole, and walked away leaving him to die.

Monica tells Olivia not to be absurd. Olivia says she still feels like a guest. Monica says believe it or not, she felt that way once. Olivia asks how she handled it, and she says she learned to talk back. Olivia says she has no problem with that, but Monica tells her that the Quartermaines converse by arguing; fighting is love. She tells Olivia not to try to get along to get along.

Jared calls Hayden “Rachel” and asks if this is the famous Finn. He introduces himself as Adam Green, and says that he and Hayden go way back. Finn asks how so, and Jared says they used to be married – she was his work wife in another life. He’s in town to do some debt collection business. He asks how she is, and suggests they all have dinner. Finn says they have a lot to do before their trip.

Josslyn tells Oscar that he has to come up with what to tell her mom. He thinks she should hide the necklace until everyone forgets, but Josslyn says that he clearly doesn’t know her mom. He tells her to just keep it for her alone to see. Oscar says he owes her a sandwich, and suggests they split it there. Josslyn says it almost sounds like a date. He says he wanted to ask her out, but wasn’t sure, and asks what she thinks about going out with him?

Carly wonders how Nelle ended up holding a freshly shot shell casing. Nelle says a friend found the casing; he has a knack for turning junk into cool things. Carly says, so he took it home made it into a necklace and gave it to Nelle? She’d like to meet this friend. Michael encourages Nelle to leave for work. When she’s gone, Carly asks if Michael bought Nelle’s story.

Sonny says that Sam is his friend, and he loves her, but she says friends don’t do that. (Friends don’t let friends shoot friends.) He says that it wasn’t her, but Sam says she’s the one who pulled the trigger and shot him. She doesn’t know what’s happening to her right now. Sonny tells her that no one understands better than him what it’s like not to trust your own mind. He says she’s not like him; she’ll take some medicine and get better. Sam asks what if she doesn’t, and tells him she’s scared.  She kisses his hand and cries. Crap. She almost got me crying.

Sam tells Sonny that she doesn’t deserve to be let off the hook, and needs to take responsibility. Jason comes in, and Sam says Sonny told her what happened. Jason says she needs to rest, and Deanna, who has followed Jason, suggests they go back to her room. Sam tells Sonny how sorry she is. Jason stays behind, and thanks Sonny for understanding. Sonny says that Sam is going to feel so guilty, she might confess to the cops.

Michael asks why Carly is digging up more drama. He asks what she thinks, that Nelle shot Sonny, pushed him in a hole, and concocted the whole thing to be the hero? Carly says the story is neat, tidy, and random, but of course she’s grateful. She has to give credit where credit is due, and Michael says that’s why he loves her. She tells him to go, and she’ll watch Avery.

Jared says he’d love to hang, but if they’re going to Africa, they’re going to Africa. Finn says that he still has to ask for time off, and Hayden urges him go now. She asks Jared wth? He says nice getaway plan, like he wouldn’t be there when she got back, or was she planning on staying there? All she has to do is use her financial know-how to siphon money into his account, or he sings like a canary to Finn. Hayden says she trusts Finn, but Jared says what if he doesn’t survive?

Josslyn and Oscar talk about being friends, but Nelle interrupts. Oscar tells Josslyn to think about it, and scoots. Nelle tells Josslyn that he didn’t have to run off. Josslyn says it was Oscar, and Nelle asks what the deal is. Josslyn tells her that she can’t say anything, but he just asked her out. Nelle asks what she said. Josslyn says Nelle came along before she could answer, but she’s relieved. Nelle asks if that’s because she doesn’t know the answer or she does, and doesn’t want to hurt him.

Dillon says that ELQ fell into Michael’s lap, and if Ned wants it, he should take it back. It’s his birthright, and it’s not like Michael is doing a bang-up job. Ned tells him he’s out of his mind if he thinks Michael will hand over the reins. Behind that baby face is grandfather’s savvy. He’s not going to just let it go. Ned will have to out maneuver him.

Hayden asks if Jared is going to kill Finn. He says no, but he’s liable to kill himself. He’s an addict, and when he finds out his wife is a criminal, he’ll go back to using. Jared tells her time to get to work, and shows her the cuckoo clock GIF. I’m kind of weary of Jared already. I’m not feeling him as the somewhat amusing villain.

Monica asks if Finn if they’ve set a date yet, and he tells her day after tomorrow. She’s like, gee, why hesitate? Finn asks for time off, and she tells him to have a wonderful time. But now that she thinks about it…

Josslyn tells Nelle that she likes Oscar; he gets her, but according to Carly she’s too young to date. Nelle asks if she wants to go out with him, and Josslyn asks what Nelle thinks. Nelle talks about a boy she liked when she was Josslyn’s age. Their friends thought they should go out, but they had no idea what being boyfriend and girlfriend even meant. She wonders what her life would have been like if she’d had someone to go to for advice, and she could have taken time to figure things out. Michael joins them, and asks what he missed. Clearly, Ned should be in charge of ELQ, since Michael never seems to go to work.

Sonny tells Jason that Sam is fragile, and can’t go through all that. He says that he’s fine, and the reason he’s there is because of the Garvster. Jason says he’ll tell Sam that, and Sonny says he’s not going to tel Carly. Emotions are running wild, and Carly will go to Sam, wanting to know it from her end, and Jason says she’ll end up confessing to the cops. Sonny says as far as the both of them are concerned, it’s over and they move on.

Olivia tells Dillon and Ned that she tried to make peace with Cook, saying they’d finance a cookbook if she could share the kitchen, but it was a no go. Ned tells her don’t take it personally, and she tells them that’s what she said when she fired Cook. Who wants ziti?

Hayden makes up a new vendor, and sends a quarter of a million dollars to them.

Michael asks what Josslyn and Nelle were talking about. This is the nosiest bunch of people in the world. Josslyn says her ride will be there soon, and has to leave. Michael tells her that Carly was asking about the necklace. He and Nelle covered for her, but don’t make them regret it. Josslyn leaves, and Michael tells Nelle it seemed like they were talking about something important. She says it was – girl talk. He says then it’s not his business, and she tells him, exactly.

Sam asks Jason how could she do that? Jason says it’s okay; it was out of her control. She says she needs to take responsibility. Jason says if she turned herself in, it’s not going to help anyone. Certainly not their kids, or Sonny, who’s fine, and least of all, her.

Carly and Avery come into Sonny’s room. She didn’t want to sleep, so Carly thought a visit was in order. She asks if everything is all right. Deanna comes in, saying sorry for the intrusion earlier. Carly asks what happened, and Sonny says that Sam wanted to visit. He tells Carly that she’s going to make full recovery, and Carly says like he is. Sonny tells her that everything is going to go right back to the way it used to be. Hmm… would that be before or after he decided to leave the business?

Tomorrow, Jared tells Hayden that she has a big problem, Finn asks Curtis to stand up for him, and Stella sees something that makes her go OMG!

The Haves and the Have Nots

When we last left, Landon had followed Jeffrey into his hotel room like a lost puppy, and there was Justin, nakey in bed.

A body was also dumped on the street with a note that says, Jennifer Sallison – Cryer Victim.

Jeffrey tells Landon he needs to leave. Landon recognizes Justin as a cop, and says if he was wrong about him, maybe he’s wrong about Wyatt. Jeffrey says he’s a friend. Landon says he’s excited and gonna get some, and refuses to leave. He says they’ll do what they always do, and Jeffrey says they don’t do anything, and he didn’t invite him up there for sex. Landon crawls across the bed and Justin grabs him by the throat. Jeffrey drags Landon off the bed, and gets him out the door. Landon keeps saying, weird, even though he’s the one behaving weirdly. I’m totally surprised at his behavior. No more for him. Ever.

Jeffrey tells Justin to get out. Justin says he came there to see him, but Jeffrey says he was not invited. Justin won’t leave until Jeffrey tells him who Landon is, but Jeffrey says he doesn’t owe him anything. Justin says he fell for Jeffrey, and he’s in love with him. Jeffrey says they just met, but Justin says he thinks about him day and night, and now he comes in with that guy. He keeps asking who Landon is, and Jeffrey asks if he’s going to attack him again; he has that look in his eyes. Justin says no, and Jeffrey tells him to leave then. Justin says Jeffrey is a therapist, why doesn’t he help him? This is news to me, since I didn’t even know Jeffrey had a job. He asks what Jeffrey has done to him; he wasn’t like this until Jeffrey came along. Jeffrey says that Justin was in the back of his patrol car having his way with prisoners, and Justin says he never enjoyed it until Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he’s always enjoyed it; he’s just never going to admit it. He asks Justin to leave again, and Justin says he loves him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know him, and to go home to his wife. Justin says he doesn’t know anything except that he loves Jeffrey. Jeffrey says if Justin doesn’t leave, he will. Justin thinks Jeffrey wants him to attack so he has a reason to leave. He lets Jeffrey go, and says go to him, meaning Landon. Or maybe Wyatt. I don’t know.

When the door opens, there’s Veronica with her phone camera. She walks through the room, filming everything, including zooming in on a condom on the nightstand. Jeffrey is like wth? stop it, but she says nothing and just continues. When they’re out of the room, Justin throws a chair, breaking a mirror.

Oscar meets with Jim at the hotel. He has a number for War. Jim wants to talk to him. Oscar says he needs twelve minutes for a trace, but if Jim spooks him, they’ll lose him. Jim says just give him the phone.

Erica checks on a sleeping David, and calls War from the bathroom. She says that Candace is at the hotel. War says she’s not going anywhere, since they’re looking for her everywhere. Erica asks if she should call the cops, but War says no, that bitch is his. She says Candace won’t give up her room number. She senses things, and is like a cat with nine lives. Jim calls, and War asks how Jim got the number. Jim doesn’t say, but tells War he has to meet with him. War tells Erica he has to call her back. Jim tells War it’s serous, but he can help him get out of the warrants that are out for him. War asks what he wants. Jim says he knows there are more pictures – he’ll take care of War and vice versa. War is like, no deal. Jim asks what happened to his code, and War hangs up on him. Oscar says he couldn’t get the exact location, just the general area. Jim says if he doesn’t find War, all hell will break loose. Oscar says it already has.

Jim asks what Oscar is talking about and Oscar brings up the news on his laptop. It’s a clip about the discovery of Jennifer’s body. Oscar says it’s everywhere.

Wyatt is sleeping, and there’s a knock at the door. Anna answers, and it’s Jeffrey. She asks if he wants to see Wyatt, but Jeffrey doesn’t want to wake him. She says Wyatt is a nice guy, and Jeffrey says he hasn’t seen the nice guy in years. He loves him, but isn’t in love with him. Anna doesn’t really care about any of that, and Jeffrey thanks her. She says she’s just doing her job. He says he owes Wyatt’s mother a phone call, and asks if he can tell her it’s going well.. Anna says yes, and Jeffrey leaves.

Oscar calls Anna. She says she doesn’t think she can help him; she’s not for sale. She says it’s wrong, and she doesn’t want to be a part of it. He asks her to think about it, and she tells him not to call again. Wyatt appears, and says whoever it is sounds jealous. She tells him Jeffrey was there, but Wyatt doesn’t like the look of sympathy he gets every time he sees Jeffrey. He says Jeffrey is in love with him, but Anna sees a friend who loves him. Wyatt thinks he wants to have sex. Anna doesn’t know about that, but thinks that Jeffrey has no conditions. Wyatt asks if the man on the phone has conditions. She says she doesn’t even know him; it was just a telemarketer. Wyatt says she’s lying, and if she’s going to help him, he has to trust her. He asks if it’s a boyfriend. Anna says no, but it’s personal. Wyatt thinks Dr. Jarvis is more than her boss, and it was him. She says he can try all he wants, but the guy on the phone isn’t worth mentioning. She asks what Wyatt wants to do. He tosses her the remote, and tells her to pick something. He says he feels a chick flick coming on, but she won’t give the remote back.

David asks who Erica was talking to. She says she called room service, but David isn’t hungry. Not for food anyway. She’s wearing his shirt, and shows him the lingerie underneath. He thanks her for dealing with his situation, since she said she didn’t do crazy exes. Erica says his is fun; she’s extra, and dramatic. He says soon to be ex, and Erica says not soon enough. David’s phone rings. It’s Jim.

Jim asks where he is and David tells him the Artisian. Jim tells him that they have a problem, and he’s there now. David says he’s on his way down. He tells Erica it’s business, and they agree to meet later. She wants to stay dressed like this, and he says it will give him something to hurry back to, but he needs his shirt. I can’t tell what her deal is, or if she really likes him or not.

Mitch calls Veronica. When he tells her that his last name is Malone, she says he has her interest. He says that he’s a friend of Benny’s, and he needs a lawyer. She wonders if he doesn’t have one already. She tells Mitch that she’s seen Benny once and is going to again. She’s in the parking lot, and Mitch says he’ll meet her.

Hanna asks Mitch if he knows what’s going on with Benny and if he’s been in touch with a lawyer. Mitch says he has one and he’s meeting with her. Hanna and Kathryn wonder who it is, and Veronica joins them, saying she is. Hanna is like, hell no, but Veronica says that’s no way to talk to her saving grace. Kathryn says she’s the best, and sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don’t. Veronica asks if she’s met Mitch Malone. Kathryn is like, well now, since she hadn’t known Mitch’s last name. Hanna insists that Veronica is not Benny’s lawyer, but Kathryn says she can’t hurt anything and let her do it. Hanna wants to know where Benny is, and Veronica says she has to ask nicely. Hanna says that she’s not asking Veronica’s Black ass anything. Veronica says he was brought in on murder charges, but the Secret Service got involved. Mitch asks her to get Benny out. Veronica says Hanna has to ask nicely, on her knees. Hanna tells her to go to hell. Kathryn tells her to get Hanna in there, since she doesn’t want truths told. Veronica says she has truths of her own – bang, bang. Mitch tells Veronica that he and his family would be appreciative if she gets Hanna in to see Benny. Veronica says that’s the way to ask, and she’ll see what she can do. Mitch tells them she’ll take care of it.

Agents Vince and Harris go in to see Benny. They want a DNA sample to exclude him from a terrorist investigation. He says he has nothing to do with that. Vince asks if he knows Mitch Malone. Benny says he’s known him a long time. Vince says his family is being investigated for organized crime tied to a Syrian terrorist operation. He asks if Benny wants out, and says that if they get his DNA he can leave. Benny is like, hell no, this is America. Vince tells him that he has no choice. He’s in the arms of Homeland Security, and he can give it or they can take it. Benny agrees to have his blood taken.

David joins Jim and Oscar, and Oscar shows him the news. Jim says he thought David had handled this. He asks Oscar to excuse them, and Oscar steps away. Jim says Mama Rose did this because War took a potshot at her grandson. He can’t find War, and he’s pissed. David calls Oscar over, and he says that he had War on the phone, but they lost him. Jim says this is bad. They’ve been through a lot, but this is bad. When Rose is upset, everyone is upset. David says they have a good relationship, but Jim says she’ll hang him in the freezer; they’re talking about real war. Jim talks about her taking out an entire housing project – everything that moved, dead. David says they helped her get out of that mess. Jim says it’s them that got War out of jail, but maybe they can do damage control. David says it’s already started. Jim says Kathryn won’t take his calls, and asks David to call, but he gets voicemail. Jim yells at Oscar to just find that kid.

In her hotel room, Candace is on the phone, telling someone that she didn’t cancel her phone number. Charles walks in, and tells her to get a new one, but she says it’s not going to help with her contacts. He says she doesn’t need those people anymore. She wonders about her son, and he suggests she call her mother since she has custody. Candace doesn’t like the situation, and Charles asks if it’s because he has the upper hand. She tells him this is illegal. He says everything is accessible, and she should be more careful. She complains about being treated like a prisoner. He tells her the phones have been destroyed, and a new start isn’t such a bad thing, but she says that she doesn’t want one. He asks how often you get a chance to wipe your past clean, and she says that people have memories. He says not about things they don’t want aired. She asks what the plan is, but he doesn’t have one; he just wants to give her a new start. She asks why, and he tells her so that she can be around him when he becomes President. He says the bubble is small, and he wants her on the list. She tells him it’s crazy, and he asks if she doesn’t want a do-over and to be respected. She thinks it can’t be done, but he says look at him. He was plucked from military, sent to college, and groomed for this day; all his past went away. She thinks it’s unreal, but he says it’s politics; take the reset and enjoy it. She’ll get to be one of the President’s regular women. He’s going to clean her up and make her able to pass; he’s been looking for someone like her. She asks if she’s his project now, and he says he really likes her. He tells her to go to school and get a real degree. They can make that happen, get her a house, put her up, and make her strong and independent. She’ll have power. She wonders why her, and he says he wants her, asking if she isn’t tired. Wouldn’t it be great to rest, and not look over her shoulder all the time? Candace says if she agrees, he’ll own her. He says that’s not how it works, just stay straight, and they’ll take care of each other. Candace doesn’t want to be a number. Charles says she’ll be the only one, but she wants to be First Lady. He says that’s not going to happen. She asks what happens if she says no, and he tells her that she goes back to her old life. He says there is one matter – a murder and a body. It’s too public, and someone has to take the fall. She asks if he can make that happen, and he says it’s being done now. Her brother is in custody. He tells her that there are casualties with this life. She’s horrified at the idea of giving up her brother, and Charles says it’s her choice.

Next time, Hanna visits Benny, War says he’s coming to get Candace, Justin tells Veronica that she has no idea what he’s capable of, and Kathryn says he could use a man like Mitch.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Adam tells Wes he doesn’t care what happens between him and Malia, but he has proof she’s a liar. It’s been weighing on his shoulders because he likes Wes, and Malia is a heartbreaker. Right. Wes’s well-being is totally his main concern. Adam says the night that Wes and Malia kissed in the wheelhouse, she was texting him. He shows Wes his phone, and says he doesn’t want anything to happen to him. Wes feels like he knows who she is, but there’s another side he doesn’t know, and has to protect himself.

In her interview, Hannah says having a second stew lecture her about her work ethic is insulting. She’s going to show them how it’s done. In her interview, Lauren feels like she’s in the middle of everything, since she’s friends with both Bugs and Hannah. Adam just wants the last dinner finished.

Primary guest Jerry asks if someone can take the girls to shoe shopping, and Bobby volunteers. Jerry tells Hannah that compared to last year, she’s a better and friendlier version of a chief stew. Bobby takes the girls to shore. By dinnertime, they’re not back, and Jerry says it’s like herding cats with them.

Wes is confused, and says the texts have made things more complicated than they need to be. Jerry is tired of waiting for the girls. A few trickle in, but two got lost. Bobby is chatting with Paula, and she says they got separated. Jerry wonders why Bobby left two girls behind. Adam says he loves pissed off guests, but If I was an angry guest, the shrimp cocktail appetizer would definitely appease me. Jerry asks Paula what she likes about Bobby, since he’s not doing too well in his book right now. The other two girls arrive, and I lust after the croquettes. Jerry asks to talk to the captain.

Hannah tells Captain Sandy that Jerry is upset about something, and he tells the girls to keep quiet when he talks to her. He apologizes for waking the captain up, but he’s upset with Bobby. He lost a couple of girls, and left two behind. He didn’t mind the Tinder thing, but Bobby took Paula on a Jet ski date, and he feels like Bobby is taking over his role. He wants Bobby on anchor watch tonight. In her interview, Captain Sandy says they might be pitas, but they’re guests, so Bobby needs to get it together.

The guests are going out on shore for the evening. Jerry tells Bobby he’s cool with him having fun, but he crossed the line a bit. He’s disappointed, but still loves him, and wants him to come along. In his interview, Bobby says Jerry is separating him and Paula, since she’s staying on the boat, but wonders why he didn’t just take her with them. Um… because she has to leave super early? Bobby says he matched with her on the dating app before they were even on the boat. Bugs feels badly for him, but says he crossed a line and should know better, especially after Hannah and Jason. He says he’ll just be fake and get it over with.

The guests go to a bar. Bobby apologizes, and Jerry says they all make mistakes. Next is a dance club. Hannah says it’s a lot of work, but she’s going to prove she’s one of the best chief strews in the industry. How? By drinking the guests under the table?

Wes wonders how you can build a relationship when you can’t trust someone. Well, you can’t.

Jerry tells Bobby that it’s too bad Paula’s not here, just to rub it in. At 3 am, everyone goes back to the yacht. Jerry tells Bobby to get the girls in the hot tub or no tip. Jerry starts to fall asleep in the hot tub, by himself, waiting. Max says people who drown in hot tubs don’t leave good tips, so they wake him. At 4 am, it’s time for Paula to leave. Bobby walks her to the taxi, and tells her tonight was a disaster. They kiss good-by.

Captain Sandy asks Bobby if they let up on him, and he says more or less. She says the good news is, it’s over. The crew gets in their dress uniforms to bid adieu to the guests. Jerry says it’s been a pleasure, but sometimes the actions of one have consequences for the many. A-hole. I hate when these people act like that. He says that’s not how he rolls though, making me dislike him even more. He tells the captain that he’s taking care of them. He also has an MVP tip for Hannah.

Hannah decides to split the tip, even though she doesn’t have to. It’s $20K, plus $4500 from Hannah (that was very generous of her), making it $2200 each – the best all season. Bobby is thrilled, but glad it’s over. Captain Sandy tells them when they’re done flipping the boat, she’s taking everyone out to dinner.

Hannah tells Lauren that the MVP tip was like a big f-u for Bugs. Bugs and Malia gossip about Hannah. The boat is squeegeed and fluffed, and everyone gets ready. They go to a barbecue place where the food looks phenomenal. Wes thinks he and Malia have a connection, but there are a lot of questions. The captain tells them that they came through shining with every challenge. Max informs everyone that the lamb was probably running around someone’s garden a few hours ago, making me glad I don’t eat lamb. Captain Sandy tells them have a good time and don’t wake her when they come back. Max thinks if she was any more laid back, she’d fall over.

The drinking commences. Hannah tells Bugs that she wanted to touch base. She finds it interesting that she’s had zero guests complain, but Bugs thinks she and Lauren worked harder than she did all season. She says it’s more than putting knives and forks down. Bugs says the whole crew felt the same way, and Hannah says she said something kind of late.

Bugs runs to Wes and complains about Hannah. Hannah tells Lauren that according to Bugs, she’s been talking sh*t about her. Lauren says that Bugs has been trying to brainwash her. Bugs sits down at the table, and repeats what Lauren has said. We flash back to her saying it. Lauren says that she values Hannah’s friendship, and she’s the only person she’s going to keep in contact with. She tells Bugs not to drag her into it. Hannah tells Bugs not to take a second stew job if she wants to be chief stew. Bugs has enough, and leaves.

Wes tells Malia about the texts that Adam showed him. Then says something I can’t understand, because he’s nearly as bad at enunciating as Max. Malia explains that she knew Adam before the charter, and Wes asks if anything happened then. I have to mention that the outside area is absolutely beautiful. Lots of greenery and twinkling lights. Malia says she had nothing physical going on with Adam, and that’s probably why he’s upset. She says they thought it would be best to keep it a secret from the rest of the crew. She says Adam isn’t the kind of guy she would be with, and she’s enjoyed getting to know Wes. Wes says he’s happy because he’s an idiot. She as if she’ll see him after the charter, and he says yes because he’s stupid. They kiss in the parking lot. She says he’s a gentleman, and he tells her that chivalry isn’t dead.

Everyone goes back to the boat, and pizza is brought out. Hannah and Adam talk on the deck, while the others watch in the galley. Adam tells Hannah about he and Malia getting their certifications at the same time. In her interview, Hannah says that she’s understanding why Adam is messed up. He thought the relationship would be cemented on the charter, but instead, Malia played tonsil hockey with her boss.

Malia tells Wes that Adam said he loved her after only four days. This doesn’t surprise me, since he seems emotionally immature. In his interview, Wes says there’s probably more to the story. Adam tells Hannah that he feels like an idiot, but she says that Malia fooled everyone.

It’s the final day of charter, and it’s gorgeous out. Malia wants to talk to Adam, but he’d rather not. She says that she liked him in the beginning, but got to know him, and feeling changed. She says she was wrong to text him, but was intimidated to call him out. He says she’s making a good decision then. She says it was a big mistake not coming to him earlier. In his interview, Adam says it proves she’s in the wrong, and making a last-ditch attempt to make herself feel better. He says he has zero respect for her, and she says the feeling is mutual, because they’re both twelve. She tells him to f-off, and he says alrighty then.

Adam rolls up his knives. Max says it’s like his family, and it’s heartbreaking. Bobby says he felt like an outcast, and if it wasn’t for Max, he would have left. Max is thinking about getting home to his chick, but won’t forget his bromance. Hannah thanks Lauren for working so hard. In her interview, Lauren says she knows that you can’t please everyone, but wishes she’d take her own advice. Adam tells Wes that he has one last thing to say on an honest level, and tells Wes that he and Malia hooked up before the charter. Wes says he thought that there was something between them, but he sees that she was keeping up with two people. In his interview, he realizes that you can’t mix bus with pleasure, and at the end of the day, she’ll have to seek him out if she wants to continue. Adam is sorry they didn’t get to be better friends.

Bobby tells Hannah that he hopes she accepted his apology. She says it killed her when he got so angry with her. He doesn’t want anything bad between them. Hannah says that she might be a hard bitch, but she’s always there for her friends. Bobby says they’ll be friends, but it won’t be the same as before the season. Bobby and his tattoos leave. Adam enjoyed working with Bugs, and tells her she should be a chief stew. Adam says Hannah and he genuinely hated each other, but now they’re friends. He tells Captain Sandy that he would have cracked if not for her. He’s learned a lot of lessons, but his main takeaway point is that he should read the preference sheets.

Adam leaves without saying good-by to Malia. Wes tells her what Adam said about them having a physical relationship Malia is like what? and he says it is what it is. She says at least Wes is a good guy. In her interview, she says that whenever Adam has a chance to be a stand-up guy, he isn’t. Hannah says her good-by to Bugs, and says it’s what it should be – good-by, see ya later, f-off. Hannah tells Malia it’s been an interesting season. We see a clip of Malia motorboating Hannah, and in her interview, Malia says that they don’t know how they feel about each other, and it’s awkward.

Wes tells Malia that everyone tried to warn him about her, and he’s annoyed she played him and Adam. She tells him that he deserved better, and he says it was his conscious decision. They kiss good-by. In his interview, Wes says that he can’t change what happened, but knows he likes Malia, and maybe they can explore the relationship further because he’s a total moron. He says if it’s meant to be it will happen, and if not, they had a good run.

Wes says good-by to Captain Sandy, who thinks that he’s an amazing asset, and is proud of him. Hannah thanks the captain for changing her mind about captains. Captain Sandy says she’s been in the business a long tiem, but never had a chief stew like Hannah. She did the best she could do, which is all she can ask. I have no idea what all that means, since I could take it two ways. Hannah tells us that she’s going to need therapy now to work out what happened.

No preview, but this was the finale, so I assume next time, it’s the reunion.


Zbogom, Croatia!



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