What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Anna tells Finn it’s lucky he met her, and he says his presence is the only thing preventing her from putting on a bathrobe and adopting a cat. She can’t believe he played the cat card, and says plenty of men would want to be with her, starting with him. He asks if she thinks he wants to be with her, and she says, doesn’t he? He grabs her and kisses her. He says she’s still arrogant, and she says he’s still miserable. They kiss some more.
Franco asks if Elizabeth wants to go to the art therapy room for some therapy. She likes the idea, but has to mail Jake’s cards. She says he made a card for Franco, and Drew, who he still looks at as his father, but not for Jason. Franco says it’s an adjustment. Elizabeth says normally she’d ask Andre, and Franco says, no, she doesn’t want to do that.
Jordan brings Andre some food from Kelly’s. She hears Julian shouting. He wants to know what’s going on, and why he was dragged down there. Jordan tells him to kindly dial it down. He says he’s not saying another word until his lawyer gets there. Magically, Scotty appears, and Julian complains that they didn’t even read him his rights. Scotty was supposed to get the shackles off. He says he’s done with trials, prison, and the PCPD. He says he’s walking out. If they don’t like it, shoot him.
Alexis waits for Drew in his office. He tells her sorry he’s late. He needs some help with some contracts and other paperwork. She tells him those are legalities that can be arranged. She’s not just any attorney, she’s Sam’s mom, and needs to know if he’s going to do right by her daughter.
At the docks, Sam says Jason wanted her to have the ring because she was his wife, but she’s not anymore.
Anna’s phone rings. It’s Robin. Anna says she wishes she had something exciting to report, but things are dull at the moment. I’m surprised Robin isn’t asking what’s wrong, since Anna answered the phone panting, like she was in the middle of a workout.
Franco tells Elizabeth why make trouble where none exists? Jason is doing fine. Elizabeth is disappointed in Andre and herself. She trusted him, and it’s made her doubt everything and everybody. Franco asks if he’s included, but she says no, she has complete faith in him. He says he’s going to do whatever he can to make sure it stays that way. Elizabeth tells him that she loves him, and they start kissing. Kiki clears her throat, and says she’s going to report them to HR for fraternizing. Franco says they’re not fraternizing; they’re just making out. Kiki comments on Elizabeth’s ring, and tells them congratulations. Elizabeth says she’ll be back, and they can go home together. Kiki tells her that she’ll keep an eye on him. When Elizabeth is gone, Kiki asks if everything is okay, and Franco says, great, but it doesn’t sound like it.
Julian whines that it’s open season on Julian Jerome, like always. Jordan tells him if he doesn’t quit it, she’ll have him arrested for resisting release. DA Campbell elected not to retry the case. Scotty says the good news is, he’s free; the bad news is, his bill is a doozy.
Drew tells Alexis nothing personal, but it’s not his life he needs help with; it’s Aurora. Now that they’ve determined he’s not Jason, he wonders what the legalities are. Alexis asks why he doesn’t go to Diane, since she negotiated the purchase. He says she’s no longer his lawyer; she’s Jason’s. he’s worried that she’s going to confiscate what’s his, and give it to Jason. Alexis says she is fiercely diligent. Drew asks if he can count on her help. She says that depends on if she can count on his.
Sam says when she thought Drew was Jason, they started to reconnect, but wanted a clean slate, so they got divorced. They wanted a fresh start, instead of recreating the past. When he asked her to marry him, he put this ring on her finger, but it wasn’t his to give; it’s Jason’s.
Robin puts Emma on the phone, as Finn bites the head off of a gingerbread man. Anna tells Emma it seems like yesterday they were going to see Santa, and not to be in a rush to grow up – some people never do. After she hangs up, she tells Finn those cookies are expensive. He asks if she wants to talk about it, and she says no. Did he think she would because she’s a woman, and they’re all talky-feely? She’s sorry to disappoint. She pulls out some gifts and wrapping paper. She tells him they need to wrap gifts for the children’s home, and take a box of ornaments to the park for the tree. Finn calls her a regular Christmas elf. She knows he’s more the Grinch type, but if they’re going to look authentic, he might as well help, since he’s determined to go undercover. He says he’ll work with her as long as it takes to bust her. Ann says that Christmas cheer is part of the deal.
Julian thanks Scotty, and says now they can move forward with the other project. Scotty says he’s on it. Jordan tells Julian to use his second chance to live a better life, or it will be her pleasure to send him back to Pentonville. Elizabeth asks comes in wanting to talk to Jordan.
Drew tells Alexis he’s not going to forget what he had with Sam, and hand her over to Jason like a baton. Alexis says she was just testing him. She’s on his side. He’s good to and for her daughter, and made a calculated choice to give her and the kids a safer life. That’s why she’s here. They need to tackle the biggest problem first. He and Sam aren’t legally married.
Jason tells Sam the traitor could be in Port Charles. A call Klein made in Russia was traced call back to there. Sam says she’s trying to give back the ring, not talk about Faison. He says Faison is the reason she’s giving It back. He lost five years, and needs to know how everything fits, and if there’s a threat. To do that, he needs his brother’s help.
Elizabeth visits Andre. She needs answers. Jake trusted him, and he broke that trust. She doesn’t know how to explain it to him, but has to tell him that Andre broke the law, and can’t talk to him when he needs it the most. His father isn’t his father’ he’s a stranger. Andrew says it’s confusing. He knows Jake is struggling, and it’s a lot to process, but he has the tools now. He can trust his family and himself. He’s in a good place, and Andre is confident he’ll find a way through with their love and guidance. Elizabeth says he has Franco too, and Andre says, about Franco…
Kiki asks Franco what’s going on with Elizabeth. She knows when he gets twitchy, something is bothering him, and he’s in serious danger of making it worse. He tells Kiki that he didn’t trust to tell Elizabeth something. He’s learning to care and feel, but he’s bad at it. Kiki says the alternative is the old Franco, who had no conscience, and no one to love.
Alexis looks through Drew’s paperwork. He says doing this feels like packing up bits and pieces of his life. She asks if he still wants to leave Jake and Danny in his will. He does, and she asks about Sonny and Carly being guardians if something happens to him and Sam. Drew says his entire existence is invalid. Alexis tells him it’s nothing that can’t be fixed, but they need to discuss everything with Sam. It’s her life too.
Jason explains to Sam that Drew went AWOL three months before he was shot. Drew might have seen the traitor. He doesn’t remember, but maybe the baseline exists. Sam asks if Jason thinks his memories can be given back. He doesn’t know, but he’s like to find out. Sam says even so, it wouldn’t matter. She’s married to Drew; they have a life and family together. Danny is Jason’s son, but he loves Drew. They can’t undo what Faison has done, and she can’t keep the ring, since she can’t keep the promises made with it. She tries to hand it back. He touches her hand, and they give each other soap opera looks.
Finn wraps gifts way better than I do, and Anna too, apparently. She tells him that hers aren’t as compulsively perfect, but her skill set more suited to espionage. He tells her to stop; it’s hard to watch. He takes over making a bow.
Elizabeth tells Andrew that Franco is handling it. She knows he’s not the most forthcoming, and has a tendency to keep dark and damaging things inside, but he’s been through a lot, and she loves him. They’re getting married. She asks if this is where he throws warnings at her, but he says he knows Franco loves her. She brings out the best in him. He congratulates her, and wishes them nothing but happiness
Franco tells Kiki that everyone says to be honest, but everything between him and Elizabeth is perfect; why mess it up? Kiki can’t tell him what to do, but thinks he’s paying a price for staying silent. He says he’s mostly scared to disappoint Elizabeth, and for her to lose faith in him or herself. Kiki says he’s being human, having feelings for people he loves. He tells her it sucks. Aiden wants him to read Pinocchio every night, and he hates it. He’s spent his life being hollow pieces of wood. Kiki wonders if that makes Elizabeth the Blue Fairy. Franco says she’s magic. Kiki says love is a gift, and stop trying to save her.
Julian thanks Scotty for coming through. Scotty says he can’t take all the credit; Julian’s crazy sister helped. As for the other piece of business, once it’s done, it’s done. Scotty wants him to be aware of what he’s signing. Julian says he is, and Scotty tells him to go ahead and sign his life away.
Alexis tells Drew that they’re navigating uncharted waters. They need to resolve the custody issues and the Quartermaine trust settlement. Drew tells her about Oscar, saying it just keeps on coming. He just found out, but had never known. He and Kim knew each other when he was in the Navy. He only knew her a short time, but that was enough. Sam knows, and has been nothing but supportive. Alexis thinks they should table the questions before his head explodes, and they can talk tomorrow. He’s dreading talking to Sam about their marital status, but Alexis tells him to face it head on; he might be pleasantly surprised. Drew appreciates her believing in him. She says he’s good to her daughter, and that works for her. When she gets outside, David calls. She tells him they’re still on for tonight.
Jason won’t take Sam’s ring. He can’t; it’s hers. He understands why she’s not wearing it, but tells her to give it to Danny. He’s their son, and someday, he can give it to the woman he loves. As fast as kids grow up on soaps, that shouldn’t be too long from now.
Anna asks what is it with Finn? He doesn’t dance, he doesn’t do Christmas. She takes a piece of mistletoe out of the box, and they smile at each other.
Alexis sees Julian at dive bar Charlie’s. She asks if he has a tracking device, and he says no, and he was there first. She tells him she’s meeting someone, and doesn’t want to be uncomfortable. She’s glad for his freedom, but doesn’t want drama. If he respects her, he’ll leave; one of them has to. He says it should be her.
Jordan tells Andrew that she wishes things could be different. So does he. The guard cuffs him, and he’s taken away. Before he leaves, Jason asks to speak to him briefly. Jordan wonders if he should have a lawyer present, but Andre says it’s fine. Jason says he took a baseline of the memory map, and asks if it still exists, and if the memories could be returned. Andre says it’s never been done, but in theory, it could. Unfortunately, he destroyed everything before he left. Jason asks if it’s gone, and he says, not quite.
Elizabeth tells Franco that she went to Andre because she needed closure, and for him to understand how difficult it is for Jake. He thinks Jake will be okay, and is in a good place. Andre said he’ll adjust, and she believes him. She also told him they’re getting married. Franco asks if Andre told her to run for the hills? She says actually he said congratulations and wished them happiness. He told her that she brings out the best in Franco. She didn’t say it, but Franco does the same for her. She kisses him, but then asks, what is it?
Sam goes to the office. She tells Drew she went to the pier to think, and ran into Jason. It was a little intense. She thanked him for clearing up the desertion charges, and they talked about Spinelli. It came up about Spinelli being the one who married them, and she realized she was still wearing the ring Jason gave her. Drew says Jason did give it to her first. She says it was his grandmother Lila’s ring, and he wants her to give to Danny to give to someone he loves someday. Jason hands her his ring, saying Danny should have that too. It belonged to Alan, who was also his father, but he raised Jason. They shouldn’t be wearing rings anyway, since they’re not actually married. Way to drop that bomb.
Julian tells Alexis that he was just about to order. She asks him to surprise her, and do the right thing. He says he’s not leaving. He owns the place. He just bought it.
Finn takes the mistletoe. They get close, but then he pulls away, saying, let’s get going, and puts it back in the box. They gather up the presents, and he asks if she needs help putting them in the car. She says no, and he puts on his jacket. They keep looking at each other. He tells her goodnight, and not to wait up. She says she wouldn’t dream of it. This is going to be like Moonlighting, isn’t it?
Franco tells Elizabeth that Andrew was right. She brings out the best in him, but he hasn’t been his best self lately. He used to be able to lie or keep things to himself and sleep like a baby, but now it actually hurts him. He to tell her something that he should have told her before now.
Jason asks Andre if there’s a copy of the baseline. He says there’s a copy of both memory maps, along with a detailed record of what he did. He put it in a Christmas ornament, and gave it to the only person he trusts, but they don’t’ even know what it is.
Anna takes the box of ornaments to the car. I guess that means it’s her.
Drew tells Sam that they married when he thought his name was Jason Morgan. It isn’t legal, but he meant every word of his vows. He needs to say them again in his own name. So, would she marry him?
On Monday, Elizabeth asks why Franco didn’t give anyone the proof, Jason thinks Drew remembers more than he realizes, and Lulu asks Maxie for a favor.
Once Upon a Time
Jacinda takes Lucy to the hospital.
In Lucy’s parallel life, she’s born into a magic kingdom. Henry wonders where his mother is, and Drizella says she was detained. He wants Drizella to leave, but she has a prophecy to deliver. On Lucy’s eighth birthday, their lives as they know them will end. Hook says not so fast, and Henry tells her to look down. She’s turning into stone, and Lady Tremaine says she can’t have Drizella casting the curse. Drizella says she’ll be back, and they’ll know what true misery is.
Tiana thanks everyone for coming to Lucy’s birthday. Regina lights the candles with a poof! but when Lucy blows them out, it gets dark, and lightening flashes. Gothel pops in next to the now statue of Drizella. She asks if they really thought there would be a celebration. Hooded figures are backing her up, Drizella comes back to life. Regina says the magic can’t be broken. Gothel says not by one, but as a family they can do anything. She tells Drizella the suffering shall begin. They disappear; no poof, no smoke, no nothing.
Back at the hospital, Sabine tells Jacinda that Lucy will be fine. She thinks Jacinda should call Rogers; maybe he can help them figure things out. Victoria watches Anastasia watch TV. Weaver says he didn’t know Lucy would pay the price. Victoria says her daughter isn’t his Guardian. Her magic might save Lucy, but not if she dies. Victoria has no choice but to let him protect her.
In San Francisco, Roni looks at the vial, and asks Henry if everything’s okay. He thinks something’s wrong, but she tells him to focus. They came here for a reason. Spin class? They take their places on the bikes, and Roni tells him to play along and pretend he loves it. Zelena is the instructor, but her name is Kelly here.
In olden days, Henry tells Lucy they stopped her once, and can stop her again. They’re going to fight. She asks if she gets a sword, but that’s a no. Cinderella wonders if they’re doing the right thing. Henry says if Regina can’t stop the curse, it’s the only way to keep her safe; to keep all of them safe.
In the forest, Regina watches some piglets in a pen. An arrow comes thisclose to her, followed by more. She turns around, and tells the archer she’s impressed; she’s getting good. Zelena appears, and says luckily, she has her father’s aim. Regina says Robin is growing up fast, but Zelena says not in their realm.
Because you can never be alone, even in the middle of the woods, Drizella grabs Zelena from behind. Regina tells her to free her sister, and the cloaked figures appear. Zelena says they’re witches, the cult of the eight; the worst of the worst. Regina thinks they should fight witches with witches. Zelena says, let her get her wand.
After spin class, Kelly is surprised to see Roni, who’s interrupted her happy place, and is the epicenter of her unhappiness. Roni says she’s there for a reason. Henry leaves them to talk, and Kelly asks why Roni is there. Roni says they were like sisters, but Kelly sees the bitch who ruined daughter’s life, giving her a ticket to Amsterdam, and telling her only losers get an education. Roni says she’s sorry, but Kelly doesn’t understand the whole story. She asks Kelly to have a drink with her, but Kelly says, never. Henry runs in, saying Lucy is in the hospital. He’s getting on the first plane back. Roni tells him be with his family – help Jacinda
Back in the day, Rumpelstiltskin giggles as he spins. Hook says they need his help. He must have magic to stop the curse. Rumpel says he has a bit, and shows Hook a white elephant figurine. Hook asks if it will stop the curse. Rumpel tells him nothing can stop it, but it can keep his most precious relationship intact. When it happens, it will insure that he will still be a father and she will still be a daughter. Alice hides behind a tree, and Hook asks if that’s who she wants to be. She owes it to him to stay by his side. She gives him a note to give to her mother. He says he’ll deliver it, and do his best to make sure nothing harms any of them.
In Hyperion Heights, Tilly sees Weaver on the street, and asks if he remembers the symbol from the journal. She shows him where someone has painted it like graffiti. He wonders what that’s doing there.
Henry arrives at the hospital. Jacinda cries in his arms.
While waiting for Kelly, Roni puts the contents of the vial in some liquor. She tells Kelly that the anger is all meaningless. She’ll remember they were like sisters. She’s not leaving until Kelly has a real drink with her, and she pours some shots from the bottle in her purse. Why Kelly doesn’t mention how weird this is, I don’t know. Kelly drinks it, and Roni says they’re cursed, doesn’t she remember? They are sisters; the Evil Queen and the Wicked Witch. Suddenly, Kelly remembers everything, and becomes Zelena. She asks what’s going on, and Regina says she teaches peddling. Zelena says she was cursed to be a hippie, and Roni tells her that Gothel is out. They’re in danger, and Zelena has to come with her. Someone has to pay for this. Zelena hesitates, saying she had a life here; it’s not that easy. She unzips a garment bag, revealing a fabulous wedding gown. She’s getting married.
Weaver has a line-up of daggers on a table. He tells Anastasia that he’s performed this test many times, and asks her which one has magic? She picks one up, and says no. The table starts to shake, and the daggers fly into a cupboard door. She thinks it’s in there. I wield no magic whatsoever, and I’d probably think the same thing. Weaver opens the cupboard, and takes out the real dagger. Anastasia doesn’t want its power if it does things like that. He says it can be used to heal and help. Victoria’s little girl needs time to show what she can do.
Zelena tells Regina he’s a good guy. She might be cursed, but he makes her happy. Regina says she can come back after the curse is broken. She doesn’t mean to screw up Zelena’s life. Zelena says she loves her, and knows Regina has to save her family. It’s what she always does. She tells Regina, let’s go.
Jacinda and Henry watch over Lucy. Henry wishes he could do more. Jacinda suggests reading to her, and takes out Once Upon a Time. She tells Henry whenever Lucy looked at his book, it gave her strength. He takes Jacinda’s hand.
In ye olde forest, Henry shows Lucy the oldest part of realm. He points out a tree that has the same magic that brought his mom to Storybrooke. He introduces her to Tiger Lily, who says she found Geppetto’s ax. Henry asks if Lucy remembers the wardrobe. She doesn’t want him to cut the tree down. He tells her if the curse happens, she has to go to a land without magic, and find their people. With the book, she can help them believe. He tells her it’s okay. Just believe in him. He gets to work cutting the tree. It’s so big, it should only take a million years with an ax. Henry hears something, grabs a torch, and runs to a cottage. He tells Lucy wake up; they’ve been found, and it’s time. He’s going to stay behind to give her time to escape. She doesn’t want to go without him, but he says she has to make sure the book stays safe. Something very big is at the door. Henry makes her take the book and run. The something comes in, and it’s shadow encompasses the entire room.
Lucy says witches got her father. Cinderella says what Drizella wants is to distract them from stopping the curse. If they don’t, nothing will matter, not even Henry.
Gothel works some magic. Drizella looks at her notes for the curse. She says she’s waited so many years to cast this curse, and thanks Gothel. Lady Tremaine tells Drizella she finally found a mother figure, but she’s just being used. Drizella says no one controls her. Lady Tremaine is going to think she did it to save Anastasia, when actually it will be in service to her. Then she’s going to rip Anastasia from her arms forever. She tells Lady Tremaine to go to sleep, and she does. Regina asks if she’s still working out her mommy issues. Drizella says the sisters won’t be enough, and Regina says Zelena isn’t the only one she brought. She has Cinderella, Hook, and Jack. Regina says if she wants a witch fight, they’re happy to oblige; she won’t be casting a curse.
Drizella says, no, you will, and tells Gothel to show her. Gothel reveals Henry, who looks like he’s in bad shape. She says they did to him what witches do best – poisoned him. Regina’s magic won’t work, and Drizella says it’s not going to, and the only thing that can change that is a trip to land without magic. Regina tells her don’t do this; a curse takes time and ingredients. Drizella says there are eight, and she has seven. The last one is the most important, and hardest to find – magic from a witch who crushed the heart of one she loves most. Does she choose Drizella’s curse or Henry’s life?
In the land without magic, Weaver tells Anastasia she has it, and it’s the only ay to save a girl. Anastasia says, someone is here; it’s her place. Everything starts to shake. The door blows open, and it’s Gothel. Everyone flips around like the characters in Carrie at the prom. Anastasia runs out of the room.
Drizella finds her and says her mother called her to come and help. She tells Anastasia that these will help dampen the magic, and puts bracelets made of vines on Anastasia’s wrists. Anastasi says the witch is after her, but Drizella says she won’t let anything happen to her, and leads her outside.
In the land with magic, Drizella says there’s nothing Regina can do except cast the curse. Regina says she’ll do it. Zelena says it’s not what she wants, but Hook says she’d do it for Robin; let her go. Regina says, let’s do this, but know one thing, it’s not over. The pattern of a wheel has been dug into the ground. Regna drips blood into it, and it bursts into flames.
Rumpel says, gold in a room in my mind. Alrighty then. He gives Alice a key, and says if it doesn’t work, she knows what to do. Robin sees Alice, and says she got her letter. They kiss. Robin says she wanted to see her one last time. Alice says they’ll always know each other. A storm starts to brew.
Cinderella asks what happens to Lucy? How will she find her, if she doesn’t even know she exists? Hook gives her the elephant, and says she’ll know. The flames leap higher. Everyone watches from their respective spots. Smoke envelops the kingdom.
At the modern-day hospital, Henry reads, every curse can be broken. You just need believe. When he learned that, he knew he could believe in everything to save child’s life. He says he gets it. He would do anything to save Lucy, no matter how crazy. If somewhere he’s her dad, he believes. He kisses her om the forehead, like the illustration in the book, but nothing happens. Jacinda sleeps in a chair in Lucy’s room.
Roni tells Zelena that Henry says Lucy is no better. Zelena suggests true love’s kiss, but Roni says he tried it. Victoria must have stopped Lucy’s belief. Zelena says if it will help, she’ll get her magic back, but there’s only one way to do that. Regina says, break the curse. If they do that, Henry dies. If they don’t, Lucy does.
Anastasia asks where they are, and Drizella says a gathering place for her and her family. Gothel appears, and asks what’s going on. Drizella says she’s sick of living in Anastasia’s shadow. She’s going to steal her magic, like she’s stolen everything from her. Anastasia grabs her hand. Drizella tells her to let go, but she can’t. Drizella asks what happened. Gothel says she didn’t plan to use the vines to give Anastasia’s magic to her, but used them to give Drizella’s magic to Anastasia. She should have listened to her mother. Gothel throws Drizella into a well. Victoria is already there, and says, don’t dare look at me.
Gothel takes Anastasia to a room that holds the witches’ cloaks. Gothel says they’re beautiful. They’re just cloaks right now, and belong to the darkness, but soon they’ll find the women meant to wear them. The sisters of the coven of eight will be joined.
This spring, the battle has just begun, a conflict of dark magic where two families hang in the balance, and the war of the witches. Once Upon a Time is back on Friday, March 2nd, 2018.
👹 It was also Z Nation‘s season finale, as well as a two-parter. I realized there’s no way I could properly edit that and get any sleep at all. It’s so late, it’s possible I’m not even making sense right now. But fear not, I’ll bring the zombies in all their gory to the blog tomorrow, as well as this week’s quotes. The really good news is…