What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Drew tells Sam that Nathan is still in surgery. She’s glad the kids are at the Quartermaine’s, and glad they came back early. Now Drew can get Faison to tell him how and why he switched their lives.
We revisit Peter setting the trashcan holding the bulletproof vest on fire.
Faison tells Jason that he’s disappointed. He can’t manage a single gunshot? Jason says he can, and Faison asks why Jason kept him alive. Jason tells him that he wants to know why Faison replaced him with his brother?
Griff says the surgery on Nathan was a success. Obrecht asks if he’ll walk again. Surviving a procedure is one thing, but will he have quality of life? She asks what Griff isn’t saying. It’s probably nothing; he always looks worried like that. He says Nathan has bone fragments in his chest cavity from the bullet ricochet, but they removed the bullet without compromising his spine, and he’ll have full mobility. The fragments are another story. Obrecht says that kind of injury is a high risk for infection. Maxie wants to be with him.
Faison wants to know what’s in it for him? Jason sits down. He says Faison gets to stay alive. Faison asks for how long? Jason will cut him loose, hunt him down, and kill him without a trace; the perfect death threat. That’s why he took him. Jason asks why he took Drew, and Faison says because Jason has brain damage.
Finn tells Anna take a breath; Faison isn’t going anywhere, and she can let down her guard. She doesn’t know how to do that under any circumstances. Finn says if it’s any consolation, he doesn’t either. He wants to tell her that he’s an idiot. She asks why, specifically? He says he walked away from her, but he never should have, and has regretted it every day since. She has regrets too.
Maxie takes Nathan’s hand, and tells him that she loves him. She asks if he can hear her.
Nina tells Valentin about watching her brother sleep when she was young. Even then he was making the world safer.
Maxie talks to Nathan about baby clothes. She’s been thinking about sage green as a wardrobe base. He’s definitely going to wake up. Or die from boredom. She can’t wait to see what their baby turns out like.
Lulu and Dante arrive at the hospital. Lulu wants to go in, but the nurse says immediate family only. She says Maxie is her best friend, but Dante says they have to respect the hospital policies. Obrecht says she’s not immediate family, and technically, the nurse was speaking to both of them. Nina says let’s not do this here. Lulu tells Dante she’s going for coffee, and to tell Nathan that she loves him.
Griff tells Maxie that Nathan’s vitals are stable. Maxie says her husband is a fighter. She tells Nathan to take his time. She and the baby will be waiting.
Peter visits Sam and Drew. He says Nathan came through surgery, and Faison is still alive. Sam says they’re heading to the hospital soon; Drew has questions for Faison. Peter says when they first began, they wanted to keep their personal lives separate from Aurora, but the shooting just ended that. It’s a major story. Reporters will descend, searching for. Drew says, no comment. Peter tells them that the public will assume there’s a cover-up if they say that.
Faison tells Jason that mind control would be useless with him. Jason says Faison couldn’t force him to do what he wanted, so he found an alternative. Faison says that Andre had developed a procedure to map memories. He could copy Jason’s skills to someone Faison could control. Jason asks how Faison found Andrew. Faison says by happy coincidence. He saw that the Navy SEAL was the spitting image of Jason, and he was easy enough to abduct. Jason was more difficult. Once he got them both, he ran a DNA test. Faison struggles to speak. He tells Jason that he sent them to Andre while he was in Port Charles impersonating Duke. He trusted someone else with the job, and it was a near fatal decision.
Anna says Finn was almost killed twice; she can’t risk a third time. Someone she cares about being in her life makes them a target. Finn asks to whom, and she says anyone she tries to bring down. Her caring for him could get him killed. He says it hasn’t yet, but she tells him maybe the third time could be the charm. It would be smart to walk away, so if he won’t… He says he won’t. She gets up, and leaves.
Obrecht tells Nathan that he was her deepest, darkest secret for a long time, but fate had other ideas. She was glad, being able to call herself his mutter. In the last few years, he’s been her greatest joy, but if could go back in time, she would give it up. She should have kept the truth hidden, and not wavered. His evil father wouldn’t have found him. She kisses his hand, and says, don’t leave them. Maxie says he won’t; he’s going to make a full recovery. She gently leads Obrecht out, saying give him time to rest. Obrecht tells Maxie that she used to think she was just a bit of fluff, but she was wrong. She leaves, and Maxie tells Nathan that she used to hate it when people said “love and light,” but gets it now. He’s been that for her since he showed up at her apartment. She remembers it like yesterday. She thought he was hot and nice. He was her Prince Charming, but she didn’t know it yet. It took a pair of handcuffs and an abduction to make her wise up. Then he kissed her, and she realized her heart had chosen him, so she finally chose him. He’s her happiness.
Peter tells Drew and Sam that the only way to control the story is to own it. Make a statement, and lead with the truth. Sam says they’ll consider it. Peter hopes that’s not a polite way of saying no. Sam says it isn’t, and she’s glad Faison was stopped, and he wasn’t hurt. He says he’ll keep them posted, and leaves. Sam asks what Drew thinks. Drew thinks he’s right; lead with the truth. He owes it to his family, and himself, to find out who he really is. It’s time to confront Faison.
Obrecht marches toward Faison’s room, and Anna stops her, saying she can’t kill him. Obrecht asks if this is some cosmic attempt at humor. Why is she protecting him? She says she’s protecting Nathan. Faison will get the punishment he deserves. She needs to be with her son. Obrecht calls Faison a cancer, and says if Anna won’t let her kill him, she urges Anna to do it herself.
Faison tells Jason once the procedure was complete, Drew was sent to Helena’s programmer, and Jason was supposed to die. Henrik betrayed him. Jason wonders why, but Faison doesn’t know. He says Henrik is treacherous, deceitful, and consumed with jealousy. Jason owes his life to Henrik’s rebellion.
Nina visits Nathan. She’s proud of him. He’s amazing and incredible. He had all a child could want, except love. Valentin watches from the doorway. Nina says Nathan went to school with upper crust, socially acceptable kids, but despite that, turned out great. He rebelled by being an upstanding citizen. He was little when all that happened to her. She woke up, and saw an incredible man, a good man. Her baby brother became her big brother. He’s a reminder of everything good in the world; he’s good. He made Nina good. She loves him, and he makes her better. She tells Maxie that he has that effect on people. She kisses him, and says he deserves all the happiness in the world. She tells him to pull through this.
After she’s gone, Maxie moves on to talking about mobile themes and childproofing. She wonders if there are baby balls; like hamster balls, but for babies. She comes out, and asks Dante to sit with Nathan. She tells him not to leave his side, and tells Nathan she’ll be right back. She’s leaving him in the safest hands.
Finn sees Anna, and she says sorry she upset him. He says, she didn’t. He gets it. She’s complicated, leads a dangerous life, and it’s not fair to the people she cares about. They care about each other, and she doesn’t get to throw it away. She doesn’t get a choice; none of them do. He doesn’t want to feel this way, but can’t turn it off and can’t talk himself out of it. He wants to be with her. Anna says she doesn’t want to be with him. Finn says she’s lying. He knows it’s messy and dangerous, but who cares? Whatever it is, it could be a colossal mistake. She says it could get him killed. He tells her he spent years looking death in the face, and death is tired of him. Why don’t they see where it goes?
Jason asks Faison where Henrik is, but he doesn’t know. He suggests Henrik is hiding in plain sight, using an alias. He can tells Jason how to find him – for a price.
Peter sees Lulu at Kelly’s, and asks if she’s all right. She doesn’t know, and he sits down with her. She says she never wanted to marry a cop, but Dante… Even though she’s terrified when he steps out the door, it’s impossible not to love him, even though she could lose him. Peter tells her that he’s sorry. He can’t imagine what she’s going through. Lulu tells him that no one ever says it out loud, but there’s a dirty little secret to being married to cop. You’re proud of them, but more than anything, you want them to be safe. When a cop goes down, even when the cop is your best friend’s husband, the shameful part is that you’re grateful the fallen cop isn’t the one you married.
Dante tells Nathan how he appreciates what he did for him and Lulu. He was pissed at the time, but if Nathan hadn’t done what did, they might not be together. In a way, Nathan saved his life. He’s seen Nathan do brave stuff, but nothing so brave as locking him and Lulu in together.
Alone in the bathroom, Maxie cries.
Dante asks Nathan if the kid should have a say in who their godfather is. What if the kid takes one look at him and starts screaming? He suggests they make a deal. They’ll wait until they meet the kid, and see what happens. Maxie comes back, and asks how her guy is.
Anna tells Finn if she was different, maybe they would be able to pursue it, but she doesn’t have that luxury. They can’t just turn off feelings, but she thinks they should try. Finn isn’t buying it. She says it’s for the best. He says they might live longer, but who wants to live denying their feelings?
Obrecht tries to call Britt.
Faison tells Jason that if he tells him how to find Henrik, Jason has to meet terms. Mean Jason presses on Faison’s wound, and says no. Faison says he’s gotten all the information he can from him, and if he wants to know about Henrik, talk to his brother.
Finn tells Anna she owes him one good reason. She says she’s told him a billion times. He wants brutal, honest, masochistic clarity. She says they don’t fit. She doesn’t want him in her life.
Lulu tells Peter that everyone warned her, but she was arrogant enough to think she could face Faison. Peter says Nathan chose to reveal himself, and Lulu says, she helped him. He says she’s a good reporter, and not to second guess herself because it’s not the result she wanted. He tells her to follow up. Write a happy ending.
Faison tells Jason that his brother knows more than he realizes. Finn walks in, and says Jason can’t be in there. He doesn’t care if Faison lives or dies, but he won’t be complicit. Jason says when he dies, it won’t be because of anything that happened here.
Jason tells Anna that Faison explained why he replaced him. It’s because has brain damage. Whatever he does to control people, it won’t work on him. It was Henrik’s job to get them to Andre. He thinks Henrik is hiding in plain sight, and Anna wonders if he’s in Port Charles. Sam and Drew join them. Anna tells them that Nathan is in critical, but stable condition. Drew asks what about Faison? Jason says he talked to him, and he was in Port Charles when they were taken to Andre. Henrik was left in charge, but he doesn’t know why Henrik let him live. They have to find him. Drew wonders where to start, and Jason says Faison implied that Drew knows.
Maxie talks about a new house, and a swing set. Nathan finally opens his eyes in self-defense. She says she’s been waiting for him, and he smiles. She takes his hand. He asks if she’s okay, and she says he saved them. He says, Faison? She tells him, shot like he deserves. She tells Nathan to rest and get better. She thinks listening to her reading baby books out loud will help his recovery, and he wonders how many baby books there are. She kisses him, and says he scared her. He says, sorry, and she tells him that he’s forced to spend the rest of his life making it up to her. She feels baby move, and so does he.
Finn tells Anna that Faison is being moved. Anna says she’ll let Jordan know. He tells her to do that, and walks away.
Drew tells Jason that he has no idea what Faison is talking about. Jason says Faison told him that Drew knows more than he realizes.
Lulu writes on her laptop about Nathan fighting for his life with Maxie at his side.
Maxie tells Nathan that his eyes are like a hug. He says if the baby gets his eyes, he hopes it gets her smile. She admits she does have great smile. He says he loves her, and drifts off. Then he flatlines. I say, oh sh*t!
Tomorrow, Curtis hopes for a happy ending, Stella wants Jordan to do something about it, and Nina runs from Valentin.
The Haves and the Have Nots
Hanna tells Candace that her latest john is her father. Everyone is like, what? and dude can’t get out fast enough. Benny asks if Hanna is telling the truth. Hanna says you never know, and asks what stopped Candace from sleeping with him? Candace asks how she knows, and Hanna says she doesn’t, but he could be. He could be any one of these men, and she needs to think about that. She thinks it’s sad that Candace is letting men come in she doesn’t even know. Candace says Hanna told her that she didn’t know; she was probably whoring too. Hanna says that’s one thing she never did. Candace says just because they didn’t pay her when they were done, doesn’t mean they didn’t pay; she knows a whore when she sees one. Hanna says she came here to bring the letter; is this what Candace wants to do? Benny says either Candace leaves with them, or he’ll drag her out. She laughs, and Benny grabs her.
Hanna tells him stop. Benny says he’s not letting her stay, but Candace says he doesn’t have a choice. Hanna wonders what’s wrong with Candace. How can she let these men do this to her? Candace says Hanna doesn’t even know who her daddy is. Hanna asks if it really hurts her that bad, not knowing, and does she really want to know? Candace says, speak, Hanna. Hanna says he was a rapist. She was a kid, drinking and feeling free, hanging out with her friends at the club. She was walking home at 3 am, but she was with her friends. She lived two blocks away from them, and couldn’t find her key, but kept walking. She passed a man who asked if she was all right. She said she was good, but there was something about him that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She started walking faster. She wanted to run, but her feet wouldn’t move. She could see the house, and looked back, but he wasn’t moving. When she ran up on the porch, she still couldn’t find the key. Her aunt wasn’t home, and she crouched down, but she could hear him coming. He passed, and she didn’t move. She stayed there for two hours, and her aunt came home high like always. Her aunt passed out on the couch, and Hanna thought she was okay. She locked the doors, and went in her room.
When she woke up, he had his hand on her throat, and she could feel him inside of her. He told her if she screamed he’d kill her, so she just laid there, screaming on the inside. Tears are rolling down everyone’s face at this point, including mine. All she could see was his eyes and his nose. Candace’s eyes and nose. She could also see his tattoo, and won’t forget it. She wasn’t going to tell anybody. Her aunt ended up in a 12-step program, and they both started going to church. She felt better until she realized she was pregnant. She didn’t want Candace. She didn’t want a rape baby. She wanted an abortion. Her aunt said no. If she wanted to stay, she couldn’t abort a baby. She felt lost, scared, and alone. She looked for something in men, and kept making mistakes. Then one day, Candace kicked. She felt her, and knew it was something that belonged to her. She loved Candace, and when she came out, she was beautiful. Even though she had his eyes and nose, on her, they were beautiful. She was innocent and pure, and Hanna felt so much light. She loved her. She was still lost, and looking for herself in men. Candace saw it, and Hanna saw her light getting dimmer as time went on. She’s sorry she wasn’t always nice to her. She wishes she could have been nicer, but loves her still. She wishes she could see the light in Candace’s eyes again. When Candace told her she’d been raped, it devastated her. She went back to God, and her joy and strength came back. She knew who she was. She loves Candace. She always has and always will, but hopes one day she sees the light come back. If I was alone, I’d be freaking bawling. That was absolutely heartbreaking.
Candace says good job, good story. She doesn’t believe most of it, except how Hanna treated her like hell. Hanna thinks maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. Candace says she can leave now. Hanna says she can, but sits and takes off her shoes. She claps the soles of her shoes together, and Candace asks if it’s voodoo. Hanna says, Matthew 10:14. She and Benny leave. Candace cries like I want to. BTW, the verse from Matthew is about shaking the dust of your shoes off when someone won’t receive what you have to say. I’m paraphrasing, but I knew that’s what she was doing.
David goes to the station. He asks to see Jeffrey, saying he’s Jeffrey’s attorney. The officer has to call the DA first. There’s no answer, and David responds the same way I would, asking what does he mean, it’s the DA’s office? The officer asks David to have a seat. A woman asks if he’s a lawyer, and starts telling him her problems. He says actually, he’s a judge now, and she calls bullsh*t.
Sarah calls Jim. She says she can’t meet him. He says she can. She says she’s in a different position now. He asks if she’s appealing to his moral sense, because he doesn’t have one. She tells him that she can’t talk about cases. He tells her be prepared to talk – into a pillow. She hangs up, and looks like she has a headache.
At home, Benny asks if Hanna is all right. She just wants to lie down. He asks who’s Derek, and reads a note on the counter: Hope your day gets better. Hanna says he fixed the sink and washed the dishes; she needs to thank him. Benny says he knows it’s true, and he’s sorry. She says it was a long time ago, and it’s over. We look to the Lord and move on. He asks if she had counseling. She says from where and with what money? He thinks she should talk to someone, but she says she talks to the Lord. He thinks she’s in a lot of pain, and asks if she’d talk to a therapist. He’s going back to work with Mitch, and he’ll get some money together. She agrees. He tells her he loves her, and she says she loves him too.
Benny goes upstairs, and Hanna calls Derek. She thanks him for doing the dishes, and says he didn’t have to. He says the sink should have been fixed, and it’s the least he could do. She asks what she owes him, but he says it was under warranty. She could go for coffee with him though. She wonders if he’s asking for a date, but he says it’s just coffee. She asks why, and he tells her that he thought maybe he could make her smile. She thanks him, but doesn’t think so. He says she has his number if she changes her mind. She tells him that she’s dealing with a lot. He says she could use some good company, but she says she doesn’t know him.
Kathryn asks Derek what she said, and he realizes she was eavesdropping. Derek says she turned him down. Kathryn wants to call her, but he says no. He understands begging won’t stop her, and says, please. Kathryn says fine – for now. He tells her that Hanna didn’t sound happy, and Kathryn says maybe she should call and see if she’s okay. Derek thinks Hanna will know they talked, and Kathryn accuses him of making things difficult.
Benny calls Mitch, but gets a call on another line. It’s Veronica, who’s still in the hospital for observation. She says she owes him; he saved her life. He says anyone would have done it. She says the girl she was with didn’t do anything, and asks if he can come by; she wants to thank him in person. She’s in debt to him. He agrees to come.
There’s a knock at Candace’s door. It’s new girl. Candace says, never keep her waiting. She introduces her self as Gia, but Candace says her new name is bottom bitch, and Candace is her new pimp. Gia is working in several pimps’ territory, and she’s offering protection. Gia says she’s going, but Candace says she’ll beat her ass herself. She rips Gia’s dress and looks her over. She says she’ll make her a lot of money, but needs a dress that isn’t from the dollar store. She’s giving her Erica’s number, and telling her to get Gia clothes; Maria can do something with her hair. She’s pretty, but needs to know how to work it. Gia insists she’s not a prostitute. Candace grabs her bag, and looks at her ID. She sees Gia is her real name, and says she was born to be prostitute, but needs a fake ID. Gia tries to get her purse back, but Candace tells her, grab it again and she’ll beat her. Gia says it’s her first time, and Candace says she’ll show her the ropes and protect her. She can make Candace up to $10K a night. She has older clientele. They’ll blackmail some of them, but when they’re done, she’ll be happy. Gia wonders why Candace isn’t doing it herself, but Candace says she’s on to bigger and better things; Gia will pick up the slack. Candace tells her to unlock her phone. Gia says no, and Candace slaps her, telling her to never make her ask twice. She puts her number in the phone, and tells Gia to check in with the bartender; she’ll be working on Tuesdays and Fridays. She tells Gia rule number one is that desperation leads to arrest. Candace texts Gia’s number to herself, gives her stuff back, and tells her goodbye.
David waits at the station. The officer says he called the DA. David tells him to call again, but the officer says, sorry. David calls Jim, and asks if he knows someone with pull at the DA’s office. Veronica had Jeffrey arrested for Quincy’s murder. Jim asks why she’d do that, and it dawns on him that Veronica still refuses to accept Jeffrey is gay. David says they won’t let him see Jeffrey. Jim says Kathryn’s father’s name still moves mountains. If he calls her, she’ll hold a grudge because David came to him first. David needs to make the call. Jim tells David to let him know what happens.
David calls Kathryn. He needs her help. She says she’s not doing anything for Jim, but he says it’s for Jeffrey, and explains about Veronica having him arrested. Kathryn says that bitch is treacherous. David says they’re not letting him see Jeffrey, and asks if she knows someone at the DA’s office. She says she does, and he asks if she would please do something. She can’t believe it, and says if the accident had been any worse, it would have done them all a favor. David has no idea what she’s talking about, and Kathryn tells him what happened. He asks how Veronica is, and Kathryn says, who cares? She’ll call him back.
Justin gets Jeffrey out of lockup. He cuffs Jeffrey, and shoves him to the interrogation room. This is getting old. Jeffrey asks if Justin found his dad, and Justin says he should bash Jeffrey’s face in. He throws Jeffrey’s phone on the table, and it starts to ring. He tells Jeffrey to answer it, which is kind of difficult while wearing handcuffs. Jeffrey picks up the call, and Wyatt asks why Jeffrey isn’t answering his phone. Jeffrey says he can’t talk, and Wyatt asks why he answered? Wyatt tells him to keep that a-hole from calling him. Justin asks if he’s the a-hole, and Jeffrey tells Wyatt to hang up. Wyatt asks what’s with this guy, and Justin asks what’s with him; are they lovers? Wyatt says they are, and Jeffrey tells him not to do that; just hang up. Justin asks if he’s at home, and tells Wyatt to stay there. Wyatt says he’ll be waiting, and calls Justin toots, making me laugh, and Justin hangs up.
Justin says Jeffrey lied, but Jeffrey says Wyatt is lying just to get under Justin’s skin. He tells Justin to stop it; it’s crazy. Justin says there’s something up; look at how many missed calls. They must be lovers. Jeffrey says they’re friends. Justin says he heard Jeffrey say he loved Wyatt, but Jeffrey insists it’s as a friend. Justin asks what’s up with the emails, and reads one where Jeffrey says how much he loves him and wants the best for him. Jeffrey repeats it’s as a friend, and Justin asks what about him saying he still wants him. Jeffrey says those emails are private; they’re to himself. Justin says don’t make him send Jeffrey back bloody, and Jeffrey wishes he’d try it. He tells Justin again that those were private emails. It’s how he journals, and they’re to himself. Justin doesn’t believe him, saying he sacrificed everything for him. He’s been looking for an apartment for them. Jeffrey says he’s in jail, but Justin says he’s getting out.
Jeffrey says this is crazy; he doesn’t want to do this. Either take him back to his cell or he’s banging on the door. Justin tells him to go ahead. Jeffrey starts kicking the door and making noise, but Justin puts him in headlock.
Next time, Justin confronts Wyatt, Mitch says Veronica is in love with Benny, and Melissa comes on to Benny.
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. – Matthew 10:14
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Kyle and Erika go shopping. Kyle is into velvet. I am not. She says the store reminds her of Pretty Woman. Erika says Tom is almost ready to go back to work. She’s enjoyed taking care of him. He could be bratty, but there was something sweet about it. She explains to us how her life dramatically changed after meeting him, and she is Pretty Woman. She tells Kyle that PK’s birthday is a 007 theme, and talks about driving the Pagani. She enjoyed being with Dorit, and says they had a chance to communicate. She buys a baseball jacket that’s $300, and I think of my beloved baseball/letter jacket that cost me $35 at the vintage clothing store in Red Bank. I like mine more.
LisaR goes over her schedule with her assistant. She says the town is built on 20-year-old girls, and one of the smartest thing she did was branch out early. We see a clip of her on QVC. She gets an email from Emelia, and Harry has agreed to get a puppy. She has more than she can handle, and now he wants to add a puppy into the mix. She says she’ll just be its fairy godmother. #ThatsWhatHarryDid
LVP and Teddi go riding. There’s a stable near the Fairmont Hotel, and LVP likes to spend the night there to be near her horses. It’s absolutely beautiful on the trail, and Teddi calls it a mini-paradise. LVP’s horse only speaks French. Why am I not surprised? They have tea afterwards. Ken brings out a tray for them. Giggy! Harrison! Schnookie! Teddi passes on the muffins, and LVP tells Ken about Teddi having once been two hundred pounds. She thanks Teddi for the spa day. We see clips of Teddi’s beach house, and she says she’d love to invite everyone, but doesn’t want to worry what wine glass goes where. LVP says, who cares? It’s like not offering a ride in the Rolls Royce because it’s dirty. She wants to know who said it. Teddi won’t say, but tells her someone complained about the wine being poured into the wrong glass, and LVP thinks she knows who it is.
Dorit brings LVP out to the yacht she’s having PK’s birthday party on. She wants the party to be extravagant. She wants an exclusive, glamorous event, and says, who better to bring along? They’re going to fly in on a helicopter, and LVP jokes that PK will laugh when he gets the bill. Dorit thinks a responsible amount to spend is between a Range Rover and a Rolls Royce. LVP thinks she needs to focus; sometimes she can get scattered. Really? I hadn’t noticed. Dorit says Boy George wants to do a duet of Fever with her, and she’s conferred with Erika. LVP asks if she’s seen the kind of moves Erika does, and says she feels nervous for her. LVP tells her about riding with Teddi. Dorit admits she’s the one who got upset about the wine glass. LVP explains not everyone is comfortable with the lavish lifestyle, and thinks Teddi is sweet. She stressed that it wasn’t a problem, but she didn’t feel comfortable. Dorit says she does pay attention to those things. In her interview, LVP doesn’t think she should put Teddi down, but asking for the right wine glass isn’t judgmental. Dorit is finding Teddi a bit tightly wound. I don’t think it was that she wanted a different glass. She didn’t ask outright, and wouldn’t shut up about something she saw as a major faux pas.
Mauricio and Kyle meet Teddi and Edwin for lunch. Edwin talks about the beach house. In her interview, Teddi says she’s a casual person. She doesn’t have to be the perfect host, and her friends are fine with that. Edwin tells them about meeting John Mellencamp for the first time, and realizing Teddi was telling him the truth. Teddi says for as long as she can remember, with anyone who came into her life, her dad made it clear not to mess with his daughter.
Dorit tells assistant Mollie she can’t take the stress. She’s rehearsing with George, and PK keeps asking what’s up. She thinks he’s going to be surprised to see his parents, since neither one of them like to fly. PK shows them his new glasses, and George thinks maybe he shouldn’t go shopping on his own.
LisaR visits Kyle. Kyle is freaking out. Her house is a disaster zone, and at this rate, she could be living like this for years. Kyle talks about the party being on a boat, and LisaR hates boats. Every time they take a trip on one, it’s gone bad. She lists all the trips the Wives have gone on, where boats were involved, and it was a disaster. We flash back to all that, including the slap by Brandi heard round the world. Kyle says she thinks Teddi is intimidated about inviting people to her beach house. The invite says they can stay at a hotel, and that she’s not a master chef; she’s more into potluck. LisaR wonders what you’d bring to a potluck. We flash back to LVP teaching Adrienne Maloof how to prepare a chicken.
Erika and Mikey join Dorit and George at the rehearsal studio. Erika says the more you sell it the better it comes off. Oddly enough, Fever is one of my best karaoke songs, torch singing being my specialty. George says it’s like the perfect song, and Erika tells her to channel Billie Holiday. Mikey gives some stage direction, and Erika tells her to draw the audience in. Stare someone down, and dare them not to like your performance. I like that. Dorit says it’s like tango, and Erika says it’s like hooking on Sunset. We see a clip of Mikey directing Gretchen Rossi for her performance with the Pussycat Dolls.
Dorit is wearing a fabulous grey strapless gown. She tells PK what to wear. He thinks they’re having a birthday dinner, and has no idea what’s really going to happen. She needs to get him to a helicopter, a yacht, a speedboat, and another yacht. James Bond music plays.
All the women have a hard time walking down the gangway to the yacht in their heels. LVP wonders how it will be going back after some champagne. Everyone looks gorgeous. Erika thinks the plans are impressive, and PK’s mother says she thinks Dorit is trying to beat what PK did for her birthday. Kyle and Boy George talk about being on Celebrity Apprentice together.
PK doesn’t know the area, and wonders where they’re going. The arrive at an airport, and he thinks they’re going to Vegas.
The MC says PK and Dorit will be flying over them shortly. The helicopter lands, and they get into the speedboat. Another accomplishment for a woman in heels. PK tells Dorit that she’s clever. The guests gather to yell surprise. In her interview, Dorit says when PK sees his parents, he’s going to lose his mind.
The guest of honor arrives, and everyone yells, surprise! PK tells Dorit it’s too much to take in, and LisaR tells her good job. LVP says PK is normally the caretaker of everyone, and it’s wonderful to see him so overcome. Dorit says she poured her heart and soul into the party, and it means everything to her to see him so emotional. LVP says she wants to stick her face in the caviar. In her interview, Teddi says these women go for weeks without eating, but put some caviar in front of them and they’re like pigs at a trough. Kyle wonders if Mauricio is taking and Uber copter. LVP is surprised that Dorit got everything together so quickly.
After dinner, the MC tells everyone to head upstairs where there’s a casino and a special performance. Dorit says she’s dying. She tells PK she’s going to the bathroom, and Erika gives her some last-minute coaching. She tells Dorit it will be adorable, and just do what they did in rehearsal. Dorit is appreciative of her support, and says it’s the only thing getting her through. Dorit, wearing a slinky, sparkly black gown, takes the mic, and tells PK how much she loves him. She can’t let his 50th go by without it being epic. She calls out George, and they sing. Erika says it takes a lot of balls. LVP says it’s actually not bad, which is my assessment too. Dorit thinks she nailed it, and tells PK she loves him again.
Dorit asks Teddi for a quick chat. Dorit says she really likes Teddi, and thinks they get on well. She brings up that LVP mentioned the wrong glass issue without naming names. Teddi says they’re going to be different, but should like each other for it. LVP and Kyle join them. LVP says it shouldn’t have been such a big deal. Dorit says it’s etiquette. Teddi says Dorit is better at that, but she doesn’t really care about it. Dorit says when things aren’t a big deal, she doesn’t say anything. Kyle interjects, and Dorit asks if she’s speaking for Teddi. In her interview, Dorit wonders how she got to be the bad guy in all this. Teddi says it made her feel weird with Dorit focusing on a glass. Dorit says Teddi isn’t just exaggerating, she’s lying and making sh*t up.
Camille, LisaR, and Erika talk about how great Dorit’s performance was.
Dorit calls Teddi a psycho. I’m not sure what’s wrong with Dorit that she has these overreactions to certain things, and ends up blowing them up even more. Kyle says they keep repeating themselves. Teddi keeps saying it’s fine when it’s not, and Dorit isn’t going to shut up. Kyle says they’re all psycho, and leaves; LVP a beat behind her. Teddi asks Dorit if they’re okay, but Dorit says Teddi plays like she’s casual, but she’s really high strung. She hugs Teddi, and says thanks for coming. Teddi escapes.
Next time, Teddi says Dorit is like water torture, Kyle feels like LVP and Dorit are ganging up on her, and LVP walks out of a conversation.
😯 I watched Stripped again, and it gave me a better perspective of the show. Social media influencer Richie found out what it was like to be away from the likes, and have to ask for help. Apparently, they are allowed to be gifted with goods and services, but not items. In being away from everything, it showed him that he had people in his life who really cared about him; not just followers. It also gave me two great quotes:
Richie smelled like onions today. I was so confused at that odor. – one of Richie’s friends, who he went to dinner with, wearing literally nothing but overalls. And –
Depression is the luxury of people who don’t have to fight for survival. – a counselor, mastermind, or whoever they are, from the show, who Richie met with.
😑 It’s Been a Long Day…